#theyve been doing trial walks with him outside and he got scared with the bus and ran (he was on a leash so it was fine but it very muc
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my siblings want to walk our fat cat out in the street and I'm so fucking scared
#i dont have words they dont listen to me and i dont know what to do#if anything happens to him im gonna kill myself#im so scared#theyve been doing trial walks with him outside and he got scared with the bus and ran (he was on a leash so it was fine but it very muc#h couldve not been fine#im really scared i dont know what to do i feel powerless and stupid#at the same time i kinda dont wanna get involved but i feel like if im not there something will happen and it'll be my fault for not being#there to avoid it#im insane#im crazy im crazy lock me up#and this is just. so tiring#having to go with their whims and being nervous and worried and paranoid#just thinking if his collar slipped out of his head when he tried running from the bus is making me want to cry and bang my head on a wall#like i feel like i have no voice. and im so tired. im so exhausted#so it also feels like shit when they say “well YOURE not doing anything to help you just criticize us”#when i can barely brush my teeth every day#like. i FEEL like im doing so much but in reality its nothing#and i feel that bc im exhausted all the time.#i dont know what to do im scared#delete#like i know he NEEDS to lose weight but it still feels really risky#and im fucking terrified#and turns out im not a fight or flight person im a freeze which is so much worse
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