#theys-who-smoke-weed

[wonkstifer-bronkstifer]

Need to smoke this shit rn ‼️

[passionfruitmango]

*pulls out freshly packed bong*

Y'all want greens?

[cuntylittlecat]

me texting my partner good morning

[hotgirlbedtimescenarios]

Divine Ritual

Pedro Pantheon Submission: Dieter Bravo as the god Dionysus

Event created by @beskarandblasters (we miss you❤️)

Words: 800+

Warnings: heavy drug use, sexually explicit, 18+ adults only

Masterlist

Hours after the sun dipped below the horizon, the EDM festival is in full swing. A thumping bass reverberates so loud that it travels through the ground and up into bones. The night sky is illuminated with a kaleidoscope of neon lights, lasers, and the glow of fire from stage pyrotechnics. Towering LED screens display pulsating visuals across the field, captivating audiences.

Everywhere Dionysus looks, men, women, gays, and theys are adorned with glittering accessories and futuristic outfits. Some wear body paint that glows under the strobing lights while their bodies move in sync with the music emitting from the stages.

He looks over the festival grounds in awe; it is his favorite time of year. As the god of festivity, fertility, insanity, and ecstasy, the vibes and energy of EDM festivals were kin to rituals devoted to powering him and the universe with energy.

These rituals have always existed throughout history in one form or another, but this current version is his favorite, much less gory than ritualistic sacrifices.

Dionysus shifts into his favorite mortal identity, Dieter Bravo, to walk amongst the humans and join their merriment.

With a deep breath, he drinks in the atmosphere. The air is thick with the scent of sweat and euphoria, punctuated with bursts of fog and smoke that emanate from the stages where DJs perform.

Underneath it all, there's a current of energy, wild with lust and ecstasy, that he inhales and has him tingling with power. The mortals feel it, too, but differently; the atmosphere heightens their frenzy of pleasure and excitement.

Dieter walks through the crowds. To his left, he notices a girl puking in the bushes with a friend holding her hair. He chuckles and murmurs, “Been there, done that.”

He continues basking in the glory of it all. This year, he distributed new strains of all his favorite creations. Ecstasy to induce trippy, lustful, and energizing effects, a new mushroom variant with delightful hallucinogenic qualities, and weed from the finest marijuana harvest he’s ever had that calms the mind like no other.

Looking around, he can see his mortals enjoying those creations to full effect, evident in their blown-out pupils, sexually charged dancing, and giggles galore.

His garden of fun on Mount Olympus grows it all. He’s the father of all party drugs, hallucinogens, stimulants, and even downers.

Once, Aphrodite even approached him, and together, they created a little blue pill that the mortals love, Viagra, he thinks they named it. It increased procreation, lust, and desire and rocketed Aphrodite into power, the likes of which she’d never seen.

 He prides himself on creating the purest products with the finest effects. His product is even safe for mortals; only when it falls into the hands of evil bastards on earth is It defiled by dangerous additives and ruins all the fun or has adverse effects. He usually curses those individuals with bad trips, so don’t piss him off, or you’ll regret it.

It’s a win-win situation for him and the mortals at such festivals. He provides them with gifts to heighten their experiences, and in turn, he’s powered by the energy it emits into the universe.

Tonight, he tucks a pill into his own mouth as he strolls along to meet up with the threesome of individuals he’d planned to see. Ducking into the tent, he meets the eyes of 2 incredibly sexy women and a fine specimen of a man.

“Dieter,” one of the girls screams, getting up from her place beside the bong to greet him with a hug around his shoulders.

“Hey, doll,” he greets her, a nice substitute for the name he can't remember.

The other woman, already topless and aside from the glittery nipple patches she wears, takes a long hit and blows smoke out the corner of her mouth.

The man, Julien, who he remembers from a previous sexual encounter, pats the area beside him, beckoning him to come closer and take a seat.

Dieter obliges.

By now, the haze of the drug washes over him, filling him with insatiable lust and amusement.

What feels like seconds later, he can’t be sure because his trip is messing with his time perception; the four of them are naked and engaging in debauchery.

Julien, a golden-skinned Adonis, has shed his clothes and stands with his cock out, begging to be licked.

The woman who greeted him with a hug, a little blue-haired harlot with eyes of sapphire, bounces on Dieter's cock, crossed-eyed with pleasure and dripping from her cunt. Woman number two, a purple-haired vixen, rides Dieter's face, gyrating on his tongue and dripping into his mouth while she moans in pleasure above and takes Julien's cock into her mouth.

The four of them fuck late into the night, high on a collection of drugs and lust. The chaotic, euphoric energy feeds into Dieter's power like in times before when mortals would sacrifice food and wine for him in his temples, only now it's their bodies they offer him.

And as he spills his divine seed into their loins, they spill their energy into the universe for him to consume.

Next week, he goes to Bonnaroo and can’t wait to do it all again.

[fragglerockopinions]

Hello I'd love to ask about your kristoph !!! Tell me about her !!

HELLO!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, I LOVE TO SHARE MY SILLY AUS AND HEADCANONS!!

(SPOILERS FOR ACE ATTORNEY 4 AND 5)

So I adore Kristoph Gavin and I got tired of pretending to hate him because the rest of the fandom thinks he's lame and sucks.

To be fair, the way I write Kristoph in personal stories and art is a lot different than how he is in canon, because my interpretation is a lot cooler and tries to answer some of the questions that canon neglects.

So!! My version of Kristoph Gavin:

Is possessed by a demon. It explains the fucked up scar on his hand and his sudden desire to commit murder out of simple jealousy. It's like a Venom type relationship where the demon can manifest itself outside (but still attached to) his body and talks to him and he responds verbally. • Is the Phantom. This part only works if there is a demon. When I played Dual Destinies and the villain was revealed to have a wounded hand, I got SO excited!! I was like ? Kristoph? Gavin backstory?? Klavier's cameo is going to turn into him being a full witness??? But alas.... - So in my personal silly version of the story, Kristoph, having escaped from prison using the demon's ability to alter his face and mimic voices (and still feeding this demon through murder), is once again upset that someone is trying to find him out. He beats Detective Bobby Fulbright's face in and steals his clothes, dumping his lifeless body outside of the Gyaxa science center. Bobby survives in this, but it takes many months of physical therapy once they're able to identify his mangled face, and many years of surgery to restore his face to even remotely resembling what it once looked like. Simon is there to support Bobby just as much as Bobby desired to support him. Anyway, after upholding the front of the Coolest Defense Attorney in the West for years, Kristoph's stoic mask was destroyed by Phoenix Wright (his ex-fiance), Apollo Justice (his former apprentice), and Klavier Gavin (his hated younger brother, who he could no longer manipulate once the truth was revealed), leaving him a shell of his former self. After escaping from prison and hiding his identity by wearing the faces of others, including Phoenix Wright's, Kristoph Gavin as we knew him was completely gone. The Phantom's breakdown showcased his loss of identity, having been lying for so long that he could no longer remember which face was his own. Kristoph is murdered in the demolished courtroom under the open sky.

UNTIL HE IS RESURRECTED WITH DEMON MAGIC AND RETURNS TO JAPANIFORNIA!!! WITH AMNESIA!!!!????

Also, about Kristoph being she/her, I only headcanon that in the universe where she is normal and not possessed. Both Kristoph and Klavier are she/he/theys and it kind of pisses them off to be so similar lol

My random Kristoph headcanons:

He lives in a quaint old house filled with antiques that probably belonged to their dead great aunt or something. All the furniture is floral print and covered with crinkly plastic. He makes guests take their shoes off at the door.

Speaking of family, his father died when he was very young, and his mother is aggressively Christian. Kristoph was the pride of the family until Klavier was born and subsequently grew into a gifted and multitalented student, prosecutor, and musician. Of course this fueled Kristoph's jealousy of his brother.

His dog, Vongole, is a borzoi! Klavier got custody of her, but he set her up as Kristoph's emotional support animal in prison. For those who don't know, that's a thing in Ace Attorney! Established in AAI, prisoners get esa, like Dogan with his dog and Blackquill with his falcon.

He named his dog Vongole because he loves seafood. It's all he cooks in his house. He can cook, of course, he's a bachelor!

He smokes cigarettes, and probably weed when Klavier visits. He burns a lot of incense to hide the smell.

He is into BDSM. I'm sorry i know that's random but I just think it's extremely funny for the proper serious suit lawyer man to like roping and whipping people. It's a control thing, which is a huge aspect of his character. I will elaborate in a post about this specifically if anyone wants AGNVFJB

He played the clarinet in high school. It is an instrument just as elegant and despised as he is!

His favorite color is pink. The ribbon around his neck is pink and Vongole has a collar to match!

He is queer and omnisexual! (The flag matches his color scheme lol)

He befriended and started dating Phoenix before he found reason to hate him, which is arguably worse than him pulling that shit on a stranger. Phoenix was lonely after Miles went abroad again, and the two got coffee, and it blossomed from there. Kristoph was aware that Phoenix was suspicious of him after a while, but they both held the belief of keeping your enemies close. Phoenix would joke about his food being poisoned every day, and Kristoph would humor him with a faux fake-innocent smile.

He has never uttered the word "love" in regards to anyone but Vongole. Not his mother, not his brother, not his boyfriends.

While they were working together, he and Apollo worked out together. I think this is so fucking hilarious.

This is crazy I know but in the aus where he has amnesia and/or doesn't kill anybody, he trains to become a prosecutor with Klavier. He feels that in order to make up for his disdain in the past and the utter shitshow that was Klavier's courtroom debut, he wants to practice law together so that Kristoph's debut can be with his brother. Also he's dating Shi-Long Lang I KNOW hear me out!!! Miles left Lang for Phoenix, and Phoenix left Kristoph for Miles, so Lang and Kristoph can meet in the middle :) Kristoph needs a strong man with a gun to make sure he doesn't sneak off to poison anyone else. Also I just think Kristoph is subconsciously attracted to weirdos because it's very funny and the pattern started with Phoenix.

He made exactly zero friends in prison. Normally I like to think Prison Gang like Blackquill, Keyes, and Godot are all pals, but he was not at all part of any cliques and sat in his cushy chair in solitary confinement for years, just muttering "Wright" over and over.

His voice sounds like J Michael Tatum's typical fancy gentleman voice!

HE is the one to change his hair after everything. He can't bear the thought of looking like Klavier, who has earned the right to exist exactly how he pleases. His hair is a point of shame now, after it exploded in court. He now styles it as he does in my icon, based on his concept art!!! (DRAWN BY CYANCEES <3333)

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

The meeting part 1

Twilight eclipse: *knocks on the pie castle gate* i wanted to knock eclipse wats that smell twilight?

Blood: *opens the door smoking a blunt* hmm? Ok? Come in i guess if u can walk ahaha mom their here

Pinkie: welcome to my castle the meeting will start soon tea coffee desserts?

Twilight eclipse: uh no thanks *smiles* but we r here for the holy lord himself or herself forward uh plz?

Pinkie: oh well uhm my son is his vessel so u gotta ask him

Blood: *blows weed smoke in both there faces* and that's me *puffs on his fat blunt blowing more smoke*

Twilight eclipse: well we need him for this meeting yes its very important between the holy lord and me and and eclipse

Blood: do i fuckin care *his eyes turns pure black* don't fuck with me

Pinkie: son i got this go finish ur medicine

Blood: *teleports away*

Twilight eclipse: wats his problem miss pie? Yeah we need him to help us with something. But it can only be done by the holy lord himself

Pinkie: just be patient with my son alot is going on in his life and he still don't know how to feel about it being gods vessel and everything u know

Twilight eclipse: we understand miss pie we have patients don't worry

Rave: *tackles pinkie to the ground* gotcha grammy hahahah *runs away*

Pinkie: excuse me one second *disappears*

Twilight eclipse: did she? Yes damn this family is uh

B: freaky odd weirdest?

Belle: i think there thinking were freaks sis

Party: i think ur right sisters hahah

Twilight eclipse: kids? He has kids?

B: and there's more of us hehe

Pinkie: *teleports back downstairs with twilight eclipse* sorry about that

Blood: *crashes threw the castle walls onto the table getting up instantly* that's it!!!!!!! *rips off his fake skin bolting back outside*

Twilight eclipse: uh wats happening?

Pinkie: family matter plz wait here don't move plz *summon her party mallet teleporting outside*

Twilight eclipse: *sneaks outside watching from a distance*

*twilight and eclipse watch blood and his mom fight off a draconequus*

Twilight eclipse: is that discord? No.. it can't be he been gone for years

Dusk dawn: mom dad

?: *looks at dusk and dawn firing a blast at them*

Blood: nooo *teleports in front of them taking the blast turning too ashes*

Twilight eclipse: that just happened........ oh fuck!!!!! Kids over here hurry

Dusk dawn: *run into the castle*

Surprise jr: *crawls out of a hell hole charging at the draconequus*

Dusk dawn: who's that mom? It's satan i think right dad?

Twilight eclipse: *watch them fight following their moves* holy shit.....

Blood: *rises from the ashes exploding the draconequus*

*orgins and body part goes everywhere*

Twilight eclipse: *hold dusk and dawn tight* stay here kids *walks up to surprise* uh sir?

Surprise jr: *look at twilight and eclipse*

Blood: move now *pushes twilight and eclipse and surprise into the castle*

Dusk dawn: *stays close to twilight eclipse*

Surprise jr: seeya bro *disappears in fire*

Blood: now wat do u need?

Twilight eclipse: uh we need a blessing

Blood: a blessing for wat?

Twilight eclipse: a blessing for protection my lord

Blood: is this a family blessing for protection or? *looks at dusk and dawn*

Twilight eclipse: family my lord

Blood: fine give a sec to make a seal *cuts his wrist making a blood seal on the floor*

Dusk dawn: mom? dad? Is this gonna work?

Twilight eclipse: it will

Blood: ok surround the seal

*they surround the seal as it lights up purple*

Blood: join hooves my childern then the blessing shall start

*theys held each other hooves*

Blood: god, hear our prayers, for we need the blessing of protection over twilight eclipse and dusk dawn. may their lives be safe and happy for the end of time, it's self amen

Twilight eclipse: amen amen

Dusk dawn: amen amen

Tag for @asktwilighteclipse

[justsomeguycore]

my type? what’s my type? well it’s round faced women, genderless punks, woodsy butches, guys who are girlfriend, bassists, grad students who go out drinking all the time, people with stupid accents, plus size mannequins, dark academia inspo boys, brunettes who wear jeans, insane pedants, people with cars made before 2010, sopranos, he/theys of any sex assigned at birth, good kissers, sketch comics (unfortunately), girls who smoke weed when anxious, girls who keep plants, girls who keep killing plants, vegetarians, tall shy guys, and people who know they’re not too good for dennys

[cuuno-moved]

TCPOOTW

So like, cleo, etho, bdubs, besties since middle school. Cleo transitions end of senior year nut tuey all stay licing in the same shitty town. Like 2 years later? They decide to give dating a shir and it goes south so fast. They are all so horrible for each other when they take that path, and they eventually break up on wicked bad terms due to all the lying, mamipulation, cheating, most things? Theys done 'em. Uh, but again, shitty small town, so etho woeks at the onw gas station, and cleo works at the library, bdubs goes to both regularly. They also all see each other all the time at the only coffee shop in town (theyre not sure how its still in buisness) which means they talk because redneck little town vibes means theyre generally hated (trans girl, openly queer stoner, quietly queer but known guy who always wears a mask, so thwy end up shoved in the same corners and can hokd a conversation. A lot of thwse dont end up super civil. Uh, etho still has both their numbers memorized, bdubs and etho live in the same two family house, just different areas. Cleo eventually moves to a city like they used to talk about in middle school when they all would cram on ethos twin sized bed and dream bwfore money was the issue. Uh, bdubs and etho share the same front porxh and so bdubs smokes weed on the same hours etho smokes cigarettes and its quiet mostly, sometimes they have small conversations, nut its a painful melancholy. Then joel moves in. Him and etho get together, and they arent good for eachpthr but damn do they thrive off the shit. Bdubs is alone, eacj day getting grayer, and cleos made a ton of new friends, but theres still jokes she keeps going to make, two people she says shed answer no matter what if they reached out.

Shitty breakdown, but it works better than analyzing all my half dialogues and what if what if what if that i started with

hm. interesting. so, etho bdubs and joel are all in the same house? or neighbors?

[getbudslegalize]

Harlequin Strain Review & Growing Guide | All You Need to Know

Harlequin Strain Review & Growing Guide

If you are looking for a cannabis strain that provides a balanced mix of CBD and THC, Harlequin could be the perfect choice for you. Harlequin is a rare sativa-dominant hybrid strain with a rich genetic background, combining four different landraces from around the world.This strain is popular for its high CBD content, which can reach up to 15%, and its low THC content, which typically varies between 7 and 15%.Harlequin is an ideal choice for medical users who need relief from pain, inflammation, anxiety, and other conditions, without experiencing the psychoactive effects of THC.Harlequin Strain EffectsThe Harlequin weed strain provides mental relief without causing fatigue. It inherited positive effects from its parent plants. This strain is mainly known for being uplifting and increasing happiness.Being a Sativa-dominant strain, it allows you to function at 100% capacity. This makes it the ideal choice for starting the day with a clear and focused mind.Instead of slowing you down, Harlequin can help you become more productive, creative, and inspired. It can keep you focused and precise while completing your tasks.

Harlequin TerpenesTerpenes are the natural aromatic compounds found in cannabis that contribute to its unique flavor and scent, as well as its therapeutic effects and interactions with other cannabinoids.Dominant terpene:TerpeneCharacteristicsMyrceneearthy, musky, fruity, clover, hop, pungentThe Harlequin strain has a varied and rich terpene profile, with myrcene being the dominant terpene. Myrcene is responsible for the fruity, musky, and earthy notes of this variety and enhances its anti-inflammatory and sedative properties. Additionally, myrcene works synergistically with CBD, increasing its effectiveness and bioavailability.Secondary terpenes:TerpeneCharacteristicsα-Bisabololfresh, herbal, spicy, chamomile, balsamic, sweet, floralβ-Pinenedill, parsley, basil, hops, wood, pineCaryophyllenespicy, cinnamon, cloverPhellandrenemint, lime, citrus, herbal, floral, woodIn addition to myrcene, Harlequin also contains many other secondary terpenes, which contribute to its therapeutic benefits and aroma. Here are some of the key characteristics and effects of these terpenes:- α-Bisabolol has healing, anti-inflammatory, anti-irritant, and antimicrobial properties. It can also help with insomnia, anxiety, and depression. - β-Pinene has anti-inflammatory, bronchodilator, antibacterial, and memory-enhancing properties. Additionally, it can help with asthma, inflammation, pain, and alertness. - Caryophyllene has anti-inflammatory, analgesic, antidepressant, antifungal, and antibacterial properties. It can also help with stress, pain, inflammation, anxiety and addiction. - Phellandrene has antifungal, anti-inflammatory, antidepressant, and analgesic properties. It can also help with mood disorders, pain, inflammation, and fungal infections.

Aroma & FlavorThis is a cannabis strain that has a delicious fresh tropical mango aroma. It has a herbaceous flavor that contains some spicy and earthy notes mixed with fresh pine notes.When smoked, it has a pleasant creamy, woody flavor. However, it is important to note that Harlequin is a potent strain and can cause dizziness as a side effect.Adverse ReactionsHarlequin is a unique cannabis strain because it combines THC and CBD, resulting in fewer side effects than other strains.While rare, some users have reported feeling mild dizziness, anxiety, and mild headaches.However, the most common problem associated with the Harlequin as with other strains is a cottony mouth and dry, red eyes, so it's a good idea to have a bottle of water on hand.MedicalHarlequin is a powerful pain reliever, thanks to its high levels of CBD. This strain is effective in treating common conditions such as migraines, headaches, muscle spasms, and joint pain. As a result, it is highly recommended by doctors for their patients suffering from chronic pain.In addition to its pain-relieving properties, it is also a great choice for those suffering from stress. It has mood-altering effects that can help relieve symptoms of chronic stress.This strain is also effective in treating depression and anxiety. Its ability to induce feelings of happiness and well-being makes it a great choice for those looking for a natural way to combat these conditions.Finally, it is also known to be an anti-inflammatory agent, making it an ideal choice for those suffering from inflammation-related conditions, such as joint pain. With this strain, you can get relief from your aches and pains quickly and easily.

Harlequin Grow InfoHarlequin is a cannabis strain that is easy to grow both indoors and outdoors but thrives in a controlled environment. It can be grown hydroponically or in soil and produces large buds.To promote healthy growth, keep the temperature between 72 and 85 degrees Fahrenheit. Although Harlequin can tolerate higher humidity levels, it is essential to ensure good airflow to avoid mold and pests.To keep pests and mold at bay, maintain a relative humidity (RH) level below 65% during the vegetative stage and gradually reduce it below 55% during the flowering stage. The good news is that relative humidity can drop to 30-40% near harvest time.Watering with compost tea can provide good nutrients to the soil, while hydroponically grown plants require plenty of oxygen in the later stages of flowering to increase bud production.Low-stress training (LST) or high-stress training (HST) techniques can also improve overall performance. Proper application of these methods can expose the entire plant to more light and airflow.It is important to note that CBD strains should be harvested early as CBD levels degrade more quickly than THC levels.Harlequin Strain Flowering TimeIndoorsIndoor this strain typically takes 8 to 9 weeks to be ready for harvest.OutdoorsWhen grown outdoors Harlequin will be ready to harvest in mid-October.

Harlequin YieldIndoors, Harlequin can yield around 25 ounces of potent bud per square meter, while outdoors, it can produce an average of 21 ounces per plant at harvest.Harlequin OriginHarlequin is a rare strain created by crossing four different landrace strains: Nepali Indica, Thai Sativa, Colombian Gold, and Swiss Sativa strains. These strains have been cultivated for centuries in their native regions and have adapted to various climates and conditions. Harlequin inherits some of the best traits from each of these varieties.- Nepali strain provides Harlequin with its high CBD content and earthy, musky flavor, which also contributes to its calming effects. - Thai strain, on the other hand, adds a Sativa dominance and an invigorating, energizing effect, as well as a fruity, citrus flavor. - Colombian strain is responsible for Harlequin's low THC content and balanced, smooth effect, as well as its sweet, floral flavor. - Swiss strain contributes to genetic stability, resistance to parasites and diseases, and a spicy, herbaceous flavor.Harlequin offers the best of both worlds: high CBD and low THC levels for medical users looking for relief without intoxication, sativa dominance for users looking for stimulation without anxiety, and genetic diversity for growers who want quality without the hassle. BUY HARLEQUIN SEEDS FEMINIZED by ILGM FAQs about Harlequin Weed Strain What is the Harlequin yield? This strain of cannabis can produce impressive yields in both indoor and outdoor settings. Indoor growers can expect to harvest about 25 ounces of quality buds per square meter, while outdoor cultivators can get around 21 ounces per plant. What are the effects of the Harlequin weed strain? The effects of this marijuana strain are mostly relaxing and uplifting, with a clear-headed and focused sensation that can also boost energy and creativity. What does Harlequin taste like? This strain offers a complex and balanced flavor profile that combines earthy, woody, spicy, and herbal notes. Does Harlequin get you high? This strain of cannabis does not get you high in the same way as other strains, but it may produce a mild and relaxing sensation that can improve your mood and focus. Is good the Harlequin Strain for sleeping? If you’re looking for a cannabis strain to help you sleep, this may not be the best option for you as it can have an energizing and focusing effect. However, if you wish to relax and fall asleep, it’s recommended to choose an Indica strain. Is the cannabis Harlequin indica or sativa? Harlequin is a hybrid cannabis strain with a ratio of 25% indica and 75% sativa. What are the Harlequin strain benefits? This strain of cannabis has a balanced and mild effect that can alleviate pain, stress, depression, inflammation, and headaches without causing intoxication or anxiety. What is the Harlequin strain CBD? Harlequin is a strain that has a sativa-dominant composition. It is distinguished by its unique ratio of CBD to THC, which is approximately 1:1. As a result, its THC level ranges from 7-15%, while its CBD level is between 10%-15%.One of the reasons for Harlequin’s popularity is its flavor and aroma profile, which has hints of mango and earthy musk.This strain is best known for its ability to provide a relaxing and calming effect while also keeping the user focused and alert. The strain has a dense appearance with thick nugs covered in trichrome. Strain info:Characteristics: - Genetics: Colombian Gold x Thai Sativa x Nepali indica x Swiss Sativa - Variety: Sativa 75% Indica 25% - Sex: Feminized seeds - THC: 7 to 15% - CBD: 10 to15% - Climate: Warm but not too warm, and humidity around 50% - Difficulty: Easy to grow - Yield High: indoor 25 oz/m2, outdoors 21 oz/plant - Flowering: indoor 8-9 weeks, outdoor mid-October - Taste & Smell: Citrus, earthy, mango, woody, spicy, herbal, sweet - Effect: Relaxed, happy, uplifted, focused, energetic - Medical uses: Pain, stress, depression, inflammation, headaches Read the full article

[meteormoss]

Where can I learn about your au?

Directly from me! I'll toss you the shitty summary right here cuz i feel like most everyone could use it and I haven't actually talked about it at all

So like, cleo, etho, bdubs, besties since middle school. Cleo transitions end of senior year nut tuey all stay licing in the same shitty town. Like 2 years later? They decide to give dating a shir and it goes south so fast. They are all so horrible for each other when they take that path, and they eventually break up on wicked bad terms due to all the lying, mamipulation, cheating, most things? Theys done 'em. Uh, but again, shitty small town, so etho woeks at the onw gas station, and cleo works at the library, bdubs goes to both regularly. They also all see each other all the time at the only coffee shop in town (theyre not sure how its still in buisness) which means they talk because redneck little town vibes means theyre generally hated (trans girl, openly queer stoner, quietly queer but known guy who always wears a mask, so thwy end up shoved in the same corners and can hokd a conversation. A lot of thwse dont end up super civil. Uh, etho still has both their numbers memorized, bdubs and etho live in the same two family house, just different areas. Cleo eventually moves to a city like they used to talk about in middle school when they all would cram on ethos twin sized bed and dream bwfore money was the issue. Uh, bdubs and etho share the same front porxh and so bdubs smokes weed on the same hours etho smokes cigarettes and its quiet mostly, sometimes they have small conversations, nut its a painful melancholy. Then joel moves in. Him and etho get together, and they arent good for eachpthr but damn do they thrive off the shit. Bdubs is alone, eacj day getting grayer, and cleos made a ton of new friends, but theres still jokes she keeps going to make, two people she says shed answer no matter what if they reached out.

[nnlhcr]

Vices.

[gayserblast]

How do all five of you still on this site feel about me entering my villain era

I might even be brutally honest to somebody who can't handle it. Very evil I know

[peonysleeve]

joints n tangie 🤩🍊

[stevebillyrecs]

Summer of ‘85 Fic Recs

If you live in the northern hemisphere and are anything like me, you’re starting to really miss summer right about now! Or maybe you hate the heat, and want to experience it only from a distance by reading about it in your safe, cool living room. Or hey, maybe you’re only in it for the lifeguard crop tops, sailor shorts, and ice cream licking, that’s valid, too. In any case, I’m here to interrupt the Halloween mood with some sweet, sticky summer fun (or summer angst, or summer smut)!

Included: fics featuring Scoops, Starcourt Mall, Hawkins Community Pool, the Fourth of July, and other summer shenanigans. Not included: fics dealing with all the other stuff that happened in S3, recovery fics, fics set after the epilogue or outside of Hawkins.

35 fics under the cut – happy reading!

Salted Caramel (And Other Flavors) by kate_button / @un-buttoned (3k, E)

Billy’s all tan and smug and shitty and Steve has. Feelings about it. He’s not too happy about it - Billy’s kind of a dick. And Steve can’t stop thinking about the way he smells. It’s a Problem.

there’s something about a sailor by gothyringwald / @gothyringwald​ (1k, E)

Billy gets Steve to leave the sailor hat on.

bloom by crappyfriday / @softloucre (20k, NR)

In a small town in Indiana, two boys spend the summer listening to music, eating summer fruits, smoking weed, and falling in love with each other. Vignettes throughout the summer of ‘85.

so many ways to talk about longing by lymricks / @lymricks (3k, M)

Steve wakes up–in a pool lounger–to Billy Hargrove looming over him. Billy pushes his sunglasses down and Steve thinks sleepily that it must be so that Steve gets the full impact of Billy’s narrow-eyed glare. “Harrington,” Billy says. “We’re fucking closed.” (or, three times Billy doesn’t let Steve touch the radio and one time he kind of does).

Bright by Kerasines / @kerasines (10k, E)

Steve’s face looks golden in the light of the setting sun, and when he drops his eyes from where he was holding Billy’s gaze, his eyelashes paint shadows on the light flush of red in his cheeks. He looks so fucking pretty that Billy’s breathless with it. Doesn’t know what to do, just holds still and can’t tear his eyes from his face as Steve leans in close, too close, to put lotion onto the front of his shoulders, rubbing it in carefully, so carefully, as if he’s trying not to hurt Billy. Touching Billy’s chest, staring at it where it rises with every shallow breath under Steve’s hands. Then he looks up, straight into Billy’s eyes, and Billy’s sure his brain stops working for a second.

Cherry by LazyBaker / @granpappy-winchester (WIP, 33k, E)

They’ve got ten minutes before Steve’s break is up and he has to go back to wishing for death with a smile.

I Like The Way You Look At Me by XxmerthurcatxX / @callmelilyshameless (800, T)

Steve stares a lot. Billy doesn’t mind.

No Running At The Pool! by Thei / @ihni (2k, NR)

“So”, she said, faux-casually, and thus sending a chill down everyone’s spines, “what you’re saying is that you care about us?” “No”, he said gruffly. “I said that you’re not drowning on my watch. I’m a lifeguard. It’s my job. If you’re gonna drown, do it in your own time.” Another smile, sweet like poisoned honey. “But this is our own time. And you’re off duty.”

Those American Thighs by Veeebles (2k, E)

He smokes the rest of Steve’s cigarette, tosses the butt away into the trees and lounges down beside him. Steve is still just sitting there, staring at how Billy stretches his body out, arms behind his head as he bathes in the sun. Those swim shorts should be illegal. They pull tight over his skin, leave absolutely nothing to the imagination where his dick is concerned, and barely reach past his mid-thigh.

something good right now by Highsmith / @rhubarbdreams (1k, M)

When Billy’s skin is almost feverishly hot from the sun, Steve’s fingertips touch his freckles like they’d touch the inside of him, carefully and longingly.

The Drowning of Will Byers by hoppnhorn / @hoppnhorn (2k, M)

Billy never imagined working as a lifeguard would mean actually saving a life.

spark to a flame by gothyringwald / @gothyringwald (1k, T)

Billy’s stomach swoops. He can’t believe he’s holding hands with Steve Harrington, watching fireworks over the quarry. It’s so stupid and girly and…and…fucking romantic.

Buckle (When You Think of Me) by trashcangimmick / @trashcangimmick (4k, E)

Billy doesn’t really ask. He just kind of does stuff. Steve is apparently filthy enough to be cool with it.

cherry pie by brawlite / @brawlite & ToAStranger / @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger (133k, E)

Billy Hargrove lives for summer. Endless sunshine, heavily chlorinated pools, roaming ice cream trucks, and unencumbered freedom? There’s nothing better. Even being stuck in Hawkins can’t ruin the summer for him. He eats it up, devouring every day whole.

A Day at the Fair by LazyBaker / @granpappy-winchester (500, G)

It’s pink. It’s a flamingo.

You Got That Hair Slicked Back (and Those Wayfarers On) by moonflowers / @eatingmoonflowers (4k, M)

Five times Billy knows Steve is hiding something, and one time he finds out what it is.

you (FINALLY) rule by brutesa / @brutesa (3k, G)

“Ahoy, ladies!” Steve calls out when a group of girls enter the shop. Behind him, Robin rolls her eyes, picking up the whiteboard marker.

and you’re trying not to tell him by lymricks / @lymricks (3k, M)

Whatever. They don’t talk, is the point, and Billy doesn’t need to finish all these big, deep, tragic sentences in his head. He needs to know if Harrington can’t swim. For lifeguard reasons. It’s his job, all right?

I’m so bad, best that you’ve had by kate_button / @un-buttoned (4k, E)

Steve doesn’t like mustaches. Billy grows one because he’s Like That. Steve bitches about it. A lot. Until he doesn’t.

Turned Bitch by LazyBaker / @granpappy-winchester (2k, E)

Steve’s rock bottom has a name—Billy Hargrove.

ice ice baby by hoppnhorn / @hoppnhorn (1k, E)

“It’s just so hot out here.” And then the fucker takes the ice cube, rolls it down his chin, along his neck, and down to his collarbone. “I need something to cool off.” Steve usually would suggest using the pool sitting less than a few feet away. But he’s not that incredibly thick. He knows a game when he sees one, and he’s not about to give Billy any reason to stop putting that ice cube where Steve wants his tongue to go.

something happens and i’m by brawlite / @brawlite (10k, E)

Billy loves his job as at the Hawkins Community Pool. It’s even better now that Steve Harrington’s a lifeguard, too.

Scoops by itscrybabyharrington / @itscrybabyharrington (1k, E)

Steve presses his face against the cool lid of the ice cream freezer, watching the metal fog up with each gasp that slips from his mouth. It feels good against his overheated skin, a contrast to the solid wall of heat that is Billy pressed up behind him, fucking into him with enough force Steve finds himself lifting up on his tippy toes trying to squirm away. Or, Billy fucks Steve with an ice cream scoop.

I Couldn’t Help It, It Had To Be You by moonflowers / @eatingmoonflowers (4k, T)

Determined to overcome a summer of boredom and too much ice cream, Steve joins the Hawkins running group. Unfortunately, it turns out the secondary purpose of said group is for the ladies of Hawkins to gush about the effect Billy Hargrove is having on their rosebushes. But maybe if Steve wasn’t so busy being offended by Hargrove’s mere existence, he’d realise he’s completely missing the point.

Holy Shit! by harleygirl2648 / @somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds (2k, T)

There’s no swearing on duty, even if those are the only words that apply to a sudden realization that is going to ruin/better your entire summer.

Back Atcha, Pretty Boy by XxmerthurcatxX / @callmelilyshameless (2k, E)

Steve goes to the pool to pick up the kids still in his Scoops Ahoy uniform and is less than thrilled to find out that Billy is the new Hawkins Pool lifeguard. Honestly, who thought putting Billy in those tiny ass swim trunks was a good idea? It was doing things to Steve’s brain that he’d rather not think too hard about. But he doesn’t have to worry since it seems like Billy is pretty taken with Steve’s sailor uniform…

Hopeless by LazyBaker / @granpappy-winchester (400, G)

Steve Harrington has chest hair.

wicked little town by gothyringwald / @gothyringwald (20k, E)

The summer after graduation stretches before Steve, seemingly endless and utterly empty. He can’t remember ever being this bored in his life. But when he runs into Billy one night, after hearing a rumour about him at a party, it feels like summer might not be so boring after all.

Tacky Tattoos and Red Trunks by mAadMax / @c0bblenygma (2k, E)

Steve keeps hearing about Billy’s new tattoo and can’t help but being curious about it.

Billy, Steve, Robin and the Not-Obsession by williamastankova / @samaraclegane (3k, G)

In a nutshell, Billy is convinced Steve and Robin are secretly dating (even though they’re really, really not) and it starts to get on their nerves - especially Steve’s.

A Simple Plan by flippyspoon / @flippyspoon​ (5k, T)

Billy has a plan. Steve hanging out at the pool is definitely not a part of it.

Lets hear it for the boy! by nipsu / @nipsus (1k, T)

It’s raining and without thinking Billy gives Steve a ride home. Steve’s shirt is see through and Billy drools like a baby.

You Are What You Eat by XxmerthurcatxX / @callmelilyshameless (800, T)

Steve eats a banana. Billy likes it. A lot.

Won’t You Lay Me Down in Tall Grass (and Let Me Do My Stuff) by moonflowers / @eatingmoonflowers (6k, T)

Fourth of July BBQ at the Byers’. Billy takes out a demodog with a lawn chair while wearing red speedos and smoking a cigarette. Other things happen too, but that’s a highlight.

Ocean of Flavor by itscrybabyharrington / @itscrybabyharrington (700, G)

Billy shouldn’t even be back here, if they get caught it would only add on to the multitude of reasons Steve should rightfully be fired.

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guild Wars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapters 10 and 11 

Chapter 12

Amalthia My Love,

I can't wait to see you again! As I'm writing this letter, I've been reading up on your peoples' mating habits and learned that grooming is a female's way of signaling she is available. Had I known you were available, I would have been ready and willing to perform my duties in a heartbeat. I did the measurements and we are pretty close to the same size so I don't think "that" will be much of an issue.

Sorry if I come off as sounding lustful. It's just that I can't get that image of you out of my mind. Even my sisters are complaining that I'm spending too much time in the bathroom.

Okay. Okay. I should probably close that "sinful" book for awhile and take a cold shower. Anyway, you are always on my dirty mind...

Your not-so furry "friend",

Kaleb

Amalthia rested her chin against the palm of her hand as she let out a wistful sigh.

You poor boy... one of these days something vital is going to explode if you keep thinking about things like that.

The doorbell whistle sounded as she heard the shuffle of a very familiar set of footsteps.

Kaleb!

She quickly threw on a light overcoat then slipped into her most comfortable pair of silken breeches and finally laced up her favorite pair of open-toed boots. Like any good engineer, she brought along a few gadgets as well including a micro spanner and butane torch.

One never knows when such things will come in handy. Especially when an event is run by a bunch of cheaters and riff raff.

As she came down the stairs she saw Kaleb standing by the door holding a bouquet of freshly cut lilacs. He smiled at her then handed her the flowers along with another folded letter.

"This is just a 'thank you' gift for all that you've done for me," he smiled as he handed her the flowers.

She took the bouquet, looked over it for a moment seemingly puzzled then gave him a quick hug. "Dead flowers that will never grow and wilt within the next three days. How thoughtful of you!"

"Well, I had considered snagging some half-rotten fish that had washed up along the shoreline. But then I thought about it and said, 'nah... she would think me a cheapskate if I didn't spend an excessive amount for a bushel of dead, overpriced flowers," Kaleb chuckled.

"Seriously, they're lovely. Flowers are used as tokens of affection in our culture as well. They are pretty universal, I guess." Amalthia took the bundle, dunked them in a decorative metal cylinder then filled it up with water from the faucet behind the meat counter.

"Where's your father? He's always been by the counter to greet me whenever I come here." Kaleb looked around and neither saw nor heard any trace of him.

Amalthia waved for him to come up the stairs. "He's sleeping at the moment. I'll explain more once we have a little more privacy."

Kaleb pursed his lips and nodded as he followed her up. Once they were both in her room, she closed the door then walked over towards the workbench and handed him the two pistols she had modified.

"I cut the handles down considerably. The center of gravity shifted so I added some extra weights to compensate," she said as she watched Kaleb getting a feel for the newly modified weapons.

"Wow! The balance on these is to a tee. I can't wait to fire them. Hey! Are you still up for the carnival?"

"What a silly question. Just let me grab my coin bag and broadsword then we can both be on our way." She smiled as she strapped the heavy sword to her belt buckle.

"Don't worry about the coinage. That's on me. Father and I made quite a bit this past week from one of our clients, so we are all good in that department."

The two of them headed out from the upstairs loft exit then headed down towards the center of the town square. Amalthia's braided golden mane fluttered in the breeze, her brass ankle circlets jingling in rhythmic steps to the tempo of a minstrel band far off in the distance.

"So what's up with your father? It's odd not seeing him there to greet me when I come in," Kaleb said with concern.

Amalthia shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not really sure. Shortly after you left, he seemed really down about something. When I opened the cooler this morning, a whole cask of mead had been consumed. We just bought the thing the day before yesterday and it's already gone."

"Oh no. Maybe it was all the war memories that were dredged up following what happened yesterday."

"I don't believe it's that, quite honestly. There is something else afoot." Amalthia pondered.

"Yanno. I wish we could at least hold hands. I hate not being able to show any open displays of affection towards you."

She gave him a reassuring look. "Kaleb. Don't go there. Remember what we talked about. Let's enjoy the carnival, as friends."

Yeah. "Friends", he thought as he turned away with a disappointed expression.

The carnival atmosphere was thick with a crescendo of noise and the aroma of cheap foods. As the pair perused the various entertainment booths, Kaleb happened to spot a shooting gallery nestled in between two eateries. He tugged her shirtsleeve then pointed towards the booth while giving a thumb's up gesture.

"Wanna try?"

"Kaleb. Those things are rigged!" She protested.

Pointing towards her pocket, he winked at her. "So rig it in our favor."

She placed her clawed index finger next to her upper lip as she thought about it for a moment. Upon seeing the array of prizes that were available, she suddenly had a flash of inspiration.

"Okay! I just give me a few," she loped briefly on all fours then stopped by the booth, stood up and scanned the targets that were arranged in the shooting gallery.

The carnival attendant stood half slouching looking as if he had smoked one too many bundles of prairie weed. Amalthia began counting her footsteps as she started walking from the back of the pavilion to the front.

"Ten and a half yards. Remember that number, mouse."

"Uhh. What?" The dreary-eyed kid said with a half-attentive look on his face.

"I wasn't talking to you, mouse. Kaleb. You got that?"

"I do," he smiled, deducing what she had in mind.

"Pink quaggen plushie, please."

"Umm. You gotta hit the targets first uhhh... sir? Miss?"

"Don't worry... won't."

"Uhhh. What?"

"Miss."

"Amalthia - shame on you for confusing this poor creature. Can't you see he is bereft of his intoxicant?" Kaleb said mockingly.

"Coin first, kitty cat. Then you can play," the irritated tenant grumbled.

"Gun, please. Thank you," Amalthia said as she tossed three pieces of silver into a bucket then snatched the popgun and percussion caps from off the table.

She loaded the first shot, aimed at the nearest target then fired. The shot missed.

"Point zero five degrees deviation at four point eight yards," Amalthia said as she laid the popgun back onto the table.

"Paper, please," she asked the tenant.

"Why do you need paper?"

"To wipe myself with, what else!"

Kaleb was barely able to contain his laughter.

"Are all charr this rude?" Grumbled the tenant as he filched out a scrap of parchment the tossed it to her.

"Do all humans swindle their customers this badly?" She said as she unrolled the crumpled mass then pulled out a stylus and began working out some calculations.

"Hey sir, missy... whatever you are. I'm an honest man. I've never cheated a customer in my..."

But before he could finish his words, Amalthia raised the popgun then fired an aim-corrected shot. The target fell back with a thud. Then in quick successive rounds, she felled five more targets.

"Quaggan plush, please. The pink one," she said with a wide smirk on her face.

Amalthia shoved the oversized plush toy into Kaleb's arms. "It matches your shirt quite well."

He just smiled trying to get a firm grasp while leaning over so he could see where he was walking. "I almost felt bad for that kid."

"I don't. He was trying to rip us off."

"Key word is 'almost'. Hey! Now there's something I might be good at," Kaleb said as he pointed towards a banner that read, Dolyak Shoeing Contest.

The master of ceremonies announced for men and women of all ages to compete against the so-called world's fastest farrier. Standing next to a blacksmithing smelter, stood a massive norn who looked to be at least eight feet tall. The MC boldly stated that there was no one on the face of Tyria who could shoe a dolyak faster than Halig the Great.

"He's almost as big as Ulfgar. But I bet with the right tools, I can beat 'em," Kaleb said as he pointed towards Amalthia's pocket.

"Your torch. It burns much hotter than that smelter and that will allow me to reshape the shoes much faster."

Smiling with glee upon Kaleb's clever inspiration, Amalthia handed him the torch. "I know you can beat him."

"Who amongst you has the courage, the will and the speed to challenge the mighty Halig?" The MC announced as he pointed at the audience.

Several brawny men, a char and two Asura, raised their hands. As they were ushered towards a large smelting pit, the enormous norn shook his head and laughed as his braided locks of hair flailed about.

At the last moment, Kaleb stepped through the crowd as he shoved his way towards the rest of the contestants. The top hatted MC looked at him for a moment before continuing his monologue.

"All of you grab your hammers and tongs and find the nearest available anvil that is located by each respective dolyak. At the count of five, the contest will commence. The first one to successfully forge four shoes from their respective strips of scrap iron, and can successfully place them upon the hooves of their respective beast shall be declared the winner."

"Are there any questions? If not then good luck ladies and gentlemen!" The master of ceremonies queried as he raised his hand to begin the count. Kaleb activated his torch.

When the countdown ended, every one of the contestants' hammers began pealing away as they frantically raced against each other to be the first to shoe their dolyak. For his part, Kaleb deftly began forging the strips into clean horseshoe-shaped forms as he took advantage of the blowtorch's higher output temperature.

Amalthia cheered wildly along with the rest of the crowd hoping that her man would win the contest. She saw how the sweat that covered his body helped to accentuate the definition of his rippling muscles. A lifetime of heavy lifting and athletic prowess had sculpted his body in ways that made her swoon with desire. She imagined resting her head against his firm chest and hearing the rhythmic beating of his strong heart. Her mind raced with fantasies of what it would be like to have him inside of her.

I want that more than you can imagine, she mused quietly as she gazed upon the human she loved.

By this time the norn had already placed three shoes on his dolyak. Kaleb was running a close second, but was still behind by one shoe. Thinking back to one of the techniques his father had taught him, he realized that it was possible to molten glue the shoe onto the dolyak instead. His dad mentioned that this was a common practice when nails were in short supply. The trick was softening the shoe up enough so the weight of the animal could cause the semi-soft metal to flay out. As it did, the ferrier had to work quickly to crimp the soft edges around the edge of the hooves.

This blowtorch is perfect, he thought as he began to soften the shoe with the orange flame. Remembering the dangers of looking directly into a blue flame, Kaleb pulled out a pair of welding goggles that Amalthia had given him. Once fitted, he switched over to the hotter blue flame as he proceeded to make the metal soft and pliable.

Halig was about to hammer in his final shoe. If Kaleb was to overtake the norn, he had to act fast. Grabbing the red-hot shoe with his tongs, Kaleb raced toward the dolyak, raised its foot using his free hand then quickly placed the molten item upon the base of the hoof. Using a combination of tongs and torch, he managed to crimp on the third shoe.

The massive norn was now only two nails away from finishing the contest. Undeterred and focused, Kaleb raced to heat up the last shoe to repeat the process once more.

Everything was down to the wire and Halig was about to drive the last nail home. But as he brought the hammer down for one final blow, the MC shouted to the top of his lungs.

"Time! We have a new winner."

The norn looked dumbfounded upon seeing the young human who had just beaten him.

"What is your name young man?"

"Grimwald, sir. Kaleb Grimwald."

"Well, ladies and gentlemen. It looks like this handsome young man has upended our current champion. The cash prize of fifty gold goes to the new winner."

"That is bullocks! He cheated! I could have easily won if that boy didn’t use that darn torch," Halig roared as he flung his hammer down in disappointment.

Kaleb spoke up. "Mighty Halig. I respect your sportsmanship in not taking a cheap shortcut in order to win the contest. Your technique was good, but mine was faster."

Several charr, except for Amalthia, bellowed in rage claiming the human had cheated as well. The humans disagreed and soon, a massive shouting match began to erupt amongst the crowd as tempers began to flare.

In an attempt to calm the raging carnival goers, Kaleb gave a very brief history lesson to everyone. "The kursikan molten fold technique has been used throughout Tyria since the Krytan civil war. Not many even use it any more, but my family has always passed it down from father to son. The Grimwalds, my family, are one of the few families in Kryta that still knows this ancient technique. Let's all just have a good time."

Within a short span, the anger began to subside. Many of the attendees who were familiar with the ancient technique came to realize that it was, in fact a bona fide farrier art.

Halig the Great conceded the title without further protest then went over to the young man who had beaten him and gave him a hearty handshake. Kaleb returned the favor by offering to buy his vanquished opponent a tall stein of mead. Never being one to turn down a strong drink, the norn gladly accepted the offer.

As their day at the carnival began to draw to a close, Kaleb and Amalthia had amassed a rather large cache of prizes. By the time they departed, Amalthia had garnered three giant stuffed quaggans and several various small stuffed animals. Kaleb, for his part, gained two quaggans plus the title of being the fastest dolyak farrier in Kryta.

"Blue, green and black - all mine!" Amalthia grinned as she stuck her tongue out at Kaleb.

"I'll trade ya the pink one for the black one." He said as he tried carrying the two monstrous plushies on either side of his hips.

"But the pink one compliments the color of your eyes and outfit so well," She said with a laugh.

"My skin tone begs to differ. Besides, I'll never hear the end of it from Rachel if she sees me bringing home a giant pink quaggan."

"Yer just bein' greedy!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Do you still have my torch?"

"I put it in your pocket, remember?"

Amalthia felt her pockets for a moment then confirmed that the device was still present.

"You forgot to close the valve. Didn't you? Now the butane is all gone."

"I thought it contained ahceedaa... how do you pronounce it again?"

"That's only used for my workstation torch, dummy! And it's pronounced A-ce-tyl-ene."

"Fine, fine. I don't care so long as it wins me titles and gold. You want the red quaggan?"

"No. They are evil." She pleasantly scolded him as they both laughed.

Dusk had approached as the pair arrived back at the butcher shop before sunset. Amalthia looked up at the stairs leading to her loft then decided that it would be better to simply go through the main door instead. "We'll definitely have to do this again. Are you sure you don't want to trade?" Kaleb asked as Amalthia led the way through the front door.

Turning quickly around, she said to Kaleb. "On second thought, I'll take the red one."

"But you said that's the evil one."

"I know," she said as she swung her head forward, "and, oh... hi mother."

Kaleb froze in his tracks.

Mother?

Standing in front of the counter with her arms folded, stood a charr with cold green eyes and a vicious looking upturned scowl the likes of which sent chills through the young man's veins.

"Oh... hi... ms.. Blastforge..." Kaleb said in an uncharacteristically nervous tone. "Nice to meet you, ma'am."

"Fuze - Blast...fuse," came her deadpan reply as she gave the young man a cold, piercing stare.

"Kaleb. I think now might be a good time for you to leave."

He was about to say something in a barely audible whisper when Amalthia interrupted him.

"Have a good evening!" She said as she made a grimacing face hoping that Kaleb would understand that she would talk to him during a better and safer time. She handed him the green giant stuffed quaggan. He nodded in acknowledgment then gave her a reassuring wink before heading out.

Once the door was shut, Amalthia turned around and took in a very deep breath hoping it would calm her for what she was about to endure.

"So this is what the dear little runt does in her spare time... squandering her combat skills collecting cuddle toys and hanging with humans. Did you finally complete your little menagerie fluffy bunnies and koda bears?" Her mother said in her characteristic, derogatory manner.

"Oh yes mother. I saved the red one just for you. It has a face like a hylek. When I saw it, I just had to trade it out as its face reminded me so much of yours," Amalthia retorted with a mocking smile.

"Then give it here, child. I would certainly love to cuddle with it."

Her daughter flung the stuffed animal towards her mother with all her might. As soon as Siri caught the toy she promptly tore its head off then flung the pillowy remains across the floor.

"Well, perhaps an undead hylek will do that to your lovely face one day!" Amalthia snapped as she tried her best to contain her rage.

"I was merely expressing how I felt about you child. Try not to take it so personally. Anyway, if you are through with that forked tongue of yours I have some news you should be happy to hear."

Moments later, Ludrick ambled past the meat counter doors as he tried to steady his balance.

"Your mother does have something very important to say, Amalthia. Please listen," he said in a very somber tone.

"So you finally decided to get off your drunk, sorry tail and listen to the good news I bring forth? Good! Now maybe this little lush-of-a dingbat will take heed and try to amount to something for once," Siri spat in disgust as her pupils dilated.

"I would knock your teeth out right now, woman, if I were able. Just say your peace and get the hell out of my house!" Ludrick said in a hoarse voice while trying to hold his head up.

"Fine, fine. Both of you will think I am the best parent in the world when I say that I've finally found a warband that is willing to accept this loser-of-a-cub of mine as one of their own."

For the first time in a while, Amalthia was left speechless.

"Don't try so hard, cub, to contain your excitement. You have no idea the strings I had to pull in convincing one of the warbands into accepting your sorry tail into their ranks. With all that I've done, I would at least expect a big, wet slobbery kiss, dear cub."

"How about a hug instead?" Amalthia countered.

"Try it and I'll claw your damn eyes out."

"Oh good. Then at least I won't have to look at that hylek face of yours anymore."

"I'm sorry, Amalthia. But we think its what's best for you," Ludrick stated glumly.

"So now you're on her side too, sire?"

"I'm sorry, cub. But there is an inescapable reality that you have been bereft of being with your own kind. As much as I appreciate all that your friend has done, I think you need to broaden your horizons. I can't give that to you if you stay here."

Amalthia looked at her father visibly hurt as she tried her best to maintain her composure. "So this is what it has been about the entire time? Kaleb. It bothers you that we are hanging out together."

"Stop it! Even the mere idea is making me nauseous. Mice are to be eaten and slaughtered, not fondled over and befriended. Cub, I'm offering you one last chance, from the bottom of my generous heart, for you to redeem yourself from your current pathetic existence. There are more important things in this world than going to carnivals, getting sloshed and cavorting with hairless rats."

"That 'rat' was responsible for saving my life!"

"So the human saved you. That's what soldiers are supposed to do. Good little mouse... here's some cheese," Siri said dismissively.

The rage built inside Amalthia until she could contain it no more.

"I've had it with you, mother!" With those words she drew her shortsword then charged headlong towards her mother. As she swung her blade downward, an enormous sword parried her attack. Standing at the other end, stood her father. With the wave of his massive hand he calmly gestured for her to stand down then gently clasped hold of her weapon as she fell to the floor weeping.

Siri stood and laughed. "I honestly didn't think you could still swing one of those old man. Impressive! Hate me even more, cub, because that's what will eventually turn you into a good soldier."

"Stand down, Amalthia. She is just trying to mess with your head," Ludrick said as he withdrew his massive sword back into its scabbard.

"You have no clue ex mate-of-mine. The fun is only starting. Cub - three days from tomorrow, report to Iron Legion headquarters in the Black Citadel. Be there at zero eight hundred sharp or face a firing squad for desertion of duty. I don't care what happens to you so long as your actions do not reflect badly on the legions, or myself."

Ludrick tried his best to muster a bellowing tone. "You've poisoned this house with your tongue long enough. Just leave and never come back!"

Siri just shrugged her shoulders, walked toward the front door then turned around to hurl a few more barbs before leaving. "Suits me fine. This cub may be a sniveling pathetic wretch who is bawling on daddy's floor now, but given a few months of tough love with some real warriors, she will be more of a charr than you ever were. Until then, try not to let yourself suffocate in your own piss and vomit."

When her mother left, Amalthia just laid on the floor curled up in a ball as crystal drops flowed freely from her eyes. Her father sank down next to her, buried his head between his hands and unleashed a stream of salt water from his own eyes as well.

(Chapter 12 is also up on Google Docs.)

[callmeonmyki]

You perfume review for me

Glossier

I like to think I am just a burned forest sprite, an old leather, crackling incense, library musk sex funk, weed, clove cigarette smoking, petrichor and stormy ass bitch who likes nothing but to be one with the dirt and the mud and the bugs. But really I can also get behind a little pink (that one puffball pokemon)-ass 'natural skin' esque, lipsticky feminine, sub scent sometimes. I am not 'not like other she/theys'.

8.5/10 (0.5 pt off for not being able to ship to Alaska so I have to go through gd 2nd suppliers).