#theyre such DOOFUSES oh my gOD

[hopkei]

only the most authentic of vlog content

[accidentwithapen]

Hiii!!! GIGS in Space AU Once Again on my mind so heres a quick plot rundown allll put in one post

If you read through this all i love you <3

If not, have this grian doodle anyways

So Grian, Scar, Impulse, and Skizz are all prisoners in this like,,, dystopian space society. All are imprisoned for different reasons:

- Grian is a vandalist, doing graffiti and setting minor explosions around different government/company sites. When arrested and asked why he does what he does, he claims "it's about the principal"

- Impulse worked as a mechanic for a major company, but an incident resulting in a death and 3 injuries gets wrongfully pinned on him. He still believes that all circumstances surrounding his arrest are just one big misunderstanding. The company, however, doesnt care.

- Skizz is a hacker, and good at it too. He logs into the system of the same company Impulse worked for, and subsequently gets caught red-handed.

- Nobody knows why Scar is arrested. There are many rumors spread around the prison wing that he and Grian are in that Scar is Secretly A Mob Boss for the Con Corp. family. But surely someone so clumsy and silly cant possibly be so powerful, right? thats what Grian thinks, anyways.

So these doofuses have two options.

1. they can serve their sentence rotting in a shitty space prison with Nothing To Do and being forced into manual labor

2. they can get out slightly earlier after enough time spent doing Community Service

They go for the second one, which Happens to be gathering extraterrestrial data for Impulse's old Company (i need a name for it dear god its ridiculous at this point). So after all independently choosing the community service option, they get grouped into a squad of the four of them and get sent out to different semi-abandoned planets to hunt monsters/ghosts/aliens and collect data. What they eventually figure out is that the reason they are given so much freedom with their community service is that they are not intended to survive. They devise an escape plan and on their third mission together, they successfully escape together.

Its important to note that Scar and Grian came from the same cell block, so Grian decides to tell Skizz and Impulse about the mob boss rumors (as a prank, of course), and warns them that Scar Doesn't Like Swearing. basically scaring everyone into facing these cosmic horrors with a PG attitude

So the GIGS escape with a real shitty spacecraft and are on the run from the government (theres no way they're gonna succeed like this) up until they get captured. but not by the government.

They get captured by morally gray, filthy rich, weapons manufacturer Doc. (or his hitman at least, one Geminitay)

Doc explains to the GIGS that he has paid all of their bail fees, and now they must work off their debt to him. as delivery boys.

Doc enlists Gem to look after the GIGS during their deliveries. Gem Does Not Like This but shes not gonna say no to her boss.

Basically the rest of it is a silly stupid sci fi sitcom about funny found family doing goofy delivery missions and learning more about each other along the way.

Oh, and remember those rumors about Scar? Theyre all true. And there are Consequences for his absence in the family....

Heres some extra little character notes:

- While Impulse believes his arrest was a genuine mistake at first, during their second bout of community service, he and skizz discover how little the company actually cares about its employees and Impulse gets real mad that his entire livelihood is a lie and goes ham and wrecks some shit (good for him)

- Gem was taken in by Doc at a very young age, with life-threatening injuries. Doc used his experience with mad sciencery to fix her up with whatever he had on hand, mostly animal parts. now shes a hybrid.

- Gem sees Doc as a father figure, but has No Clue how to express that so from her perspective shes just Really Loyal to her boss and doing nothing more than paying off a life debt.

- Grian has a mycelium infection running up his arm that he keeps secret from everyone else. the first in the group to find out about it is Gem

- Scar uses mobility aids of many varieties, but mostly uses a cane with robotic leg splints on missions

Anyways thats all for now, if you wanna see some more doodles and stuff you can look around my gigs in space tag!!

[halliescomut]

Secret Crush on You Ep 5

-The straw stealing. My dude you need to get that shit under control!

-Yes Nuea!!! Be very forward! Toh is being dense as fuck.

-Sky's being too cute....and Jao thinks so too. ☺️☺️ Oh saucy Sky, I like that too.😏

- Again the fits are on point!!

-Jealous Jao hehe. We see you. But this driving is not safe.

-Both Nuea and Toh think they're being so sneaky. Doofuses. Apparently it's the whole group that thinks they're sneaky. All those excuses to leave Nuea and Toh alone. 😄

-Oh my God...Toh needs to get it together. I swear if this show is just 14 episodes of miscommunication I'm gonna lose it.

-Nuea really gonna cockblock all his friends, but he still gets to room with Toh...rude.

-This is a really nice hotel.

-Nuea is gonna give Toh an aneurysm...he knows what he's doing. Toh is so sweet and stupid. 😂

-The beach day was cute.

-I love Sky's friends teasing him about Jao. Very adorable. Hopefully Jao will figure out that he's serious.

-Toh got himself a real kiss during the dare game this time. *squeeeee*

-I'm glad Nuea keeps being bold, but I really am getting frustrated with Toh. Like dude, recognize you're a catch and stop assuming Nuea can't like you.

-See Jao gets it. Tell him babes!!

-Another Ad shot, but it's combined with an ab shit, so I'll accept it.

-Fogging up his glasses 🤓😂😂

-I swear I'm gonna kill Toh. He's being creepy again.

-That chin grab they do sometimes in Thai BLs...it's kinda hot.

-Theyre both pretending to be asleep to try and be touchy with the other...I swear it's too cute and too funny.

-Did they just purposely show that Nuea was blocking his dick so Toh wouldn't feel it??? If that was the intention, that's true gentleman behavior.

-The sleep prayer 😂😂😂😂

-Jao's shy about his figure, but that cake!!!

-Jao what the actual fuck my dude!!!

-They clearly reshot this scene a couple of times, because their hair and clothes dried immediately 😂

-We all see what you're doing with that massage ruse Nuea. Poor Toh, but you're not the only one with that problem babe 😏🍆

Okay, let's see...

I love a vacation ep, so 8.5/10 for that. Everything was v. cute.

I'd say 8/10 for awkwardness, mostly because they ran from each other every time they did something embarrassing.

[skinks]

had the unfortunate experience recently of my friend having sex in the same room as me while she thought i was asleep after a night out and i cant stop imagining reddie doing that or late twenties living in an apartment with other losers and having really loud sex when they thought no one else was home while bev just whisper scream/laughs the entire time and when they finally finish and come out bill just shouts “RICHIE TOZIER FUUUUCKS” extra points if this is how they find out theyre together

oh my GOD well first off big giant rip to you that you had to hear your friend fuccin

but holy shit what if reddie room with some of the others, and everyone always hangs out at their apartment. They have separate bedrooms of course, but they’re always sneaking into each other’s rooms in the middle of the night and then back out again before Mike or Bev wake up. Like a) they want to keep this thing as just Theirs while it’s still so raw and big and b) they’re worried about messing up the Loser dynamic. Not that it would, not seriously or for long, they’re just idiots

The rest of the gang come home and eat takeout and drink until they’re all near-comatose on the floor — nobody even thought to turn on the main light after the movie’s brightness faded into VHS static and eventually a blank screen, so they’re all lying whispering in the sleepy darkness when the apartment door bangs open and Richie and Eddie come stumbling through it. They all know Eddie picks Richie up from his bartending shifts across town, that’s why they’d headed to their place first after the power went out at Stan’s, they knew the TV would be free of PlayStation tournaments and the couch would be free of pushy limbs and Cheeto dust. But they didn’t know about this. The flypaper yellow light from the hallway flickers over Richie and Eddie’s unmistakable shapes and they are making out, they are making out hard.

Like, late night Skinemax makeouts.

Like, Eddie bending Richie backwards to get at his mouth and his hips simultaneously, Richie whining and pulling Eddie’s hair type makeouts.

The others lie there, not knowing what to do because like, hadn’t Richie been teasing Eddie just last week about the hot chick who came into the Blockbuster where Eddie works who’d given him that hickey? And Eddie had insisted it was just a rash? They’re all too stunned to say anything to alert the doofuses to their presence, and they’re talking anyway. Well, gasping between wet, gross-sounding kisses. They can hear Eddie’s voice low and affronted, like he doesn’t wanna wake anyone up but he still needs Richie to know how aggrieved he is.

“Do you have—any idea what your fuckin’ shoulders look like in that shirt when you play pool?”

Something clatters, they knock something over. “No,” Richie mumbles, and he sounds like he’s drunk, but he never drinks when he has shifts at the bar. Someone kicks the door shut. “Why don’t you tell me?”

“You look—Christ, Rich, you make me so fucking hard c’mon—you look like someone who got dressed in the fucking dark.”

Laughter from both of them. Happy and hot, and the other five stare at each other from their dark hidey-floor positions. “S’not what you said after Bev’s birthday,” Richie croons. “Remember?”

“Shut up, someone’s gonna hear—”

“Had to fucking gag you with this shirt.”

Bev’s shoulders shake, and she mouths my birthday??? to Ben from behind her muffling hand. Her birthday was months ago. The boys are writhing closer to Richie’s room like something dark and tangled and many-limbed at the back of an aquarium, and Eddie’s teakettle laughter bubbles through his hisses. “I’ll give you something to gag on.”

“Promise?”

A bang, the kind of bang a wall makes when a back collides with it. Richie moans, then, and Bill is wild-eyed as he goes to stand for the lightswitch, but the others all dogpile him before he gets any further.

“You betcha, hotshot. Gonna gag you so good you won’t be able to talk for a week.”

“Nah, you’d m-miss it,” Richie pants.

The bedroom door clicks shut, and they can’t hear Eddie’s murmured response but the tone, the tone is what has them all shushing each other, like people witnessing a natural wonder. Eddie doesn’t hook up or date, they all know his mother’s insidious hooks still hold Eddie back from acknowledging he’s a sexual being at all, regardless of the fact they’re all twenty-three years old. Through that thin piece of wood though, Eddie sounds downright flirtatious. Soft and sly and gritty-salted-sweet, like when you let a mouthful of cotton candy dissolve into a tough little sugarlump on your tongue, the kind that can still break teeth. The Losers gawk at each other and come to the same exact realization at the same exact time; this is serious. Richie only laughs like that when he feels like he’s got nothing to prove, no one to impress. There’s a thump. Then the creaking twang of Richie’s shitty bed frame, and the distinct, loopy peal of Richie’s happy voice, loud even through the door.

“Jesus shit, you look—Eds, you look like someone who’s gonna get fucked in the dark.” Then another thump, more laughter.

They get right down to it. Mike and Bev nudge each other and clamp down on their giggles so hard the effort makes them weep, they’ve been sharing an apartment with these horny dumbasses for two years and haven’t been any the wiser. How, they don’t know, when the noises are so loud and evocative as to make anyone blush, all arrhythmic creaking and punched out ah-ah-hah-ahs and swearing and wet suction and filthy breathless conversation and at one point, someone blowing a definite raspberry. Ben sits with a small smile on his face and his hands over his ears, more out of respectful politeness than anything like distaste, and Stan starts gathering up the bowls of popcorn and chips like nothing’s out of the ordinary. The racket pitches in intensity. Bill lies on the floor, checking his watch with increasing disbelief. They’re all too drunk to go home, they’re stuck.

Eventually the sex crests, and crests, and crests like a giant wave that turns white and frothing and powerful well before it finally slams ashore and lessens. They hear the muffled wandering whimpers of someone who sounds a lot like Eddie feeling something too good for almost too long, like the time they took him to a monster milkshake place for his first birthday since discovering he wasn’t lactose intolerant, where he guzzled til he was pink and groaning. And then it finally gets quiet. There’s some more gentle murmuring, and hearing that feels more invasive than knowing what Richie sounds like when he comes.

A few more minutes pass, and the others gather themselves up to lie in wait on the couch and the two threadbare armchairs Richie and Eddie always fight over, even though they’re exactly the same. Bev managed to dig out some leftover party-poppers and confetti from the Congrats On The NPR Guest Spot party they threw for Mike last month (they like parties, ok) and Stan very studiously hits play on the shitty little boom box when the bedroom door swings open. It’s The Bad Touch, by the Bloodhound Gang. Nothing but mammals, bay-bee.

Richie hobbles out in nothing but briefs and bruises, bow-kneed with his mouth kiss-swollen. “No, I’m pretty sure we still have some chicken pasanda in the fridge from Saturday, man,” he says over his shoulder, “I’m just gonna—oh shit.”

His limbs startle everywhere like a frightened giraffe at the cheering toots of party horns, and at Bill’s best-straight-bro cameraderie holler of “Richie Tozier fucks! You bet your fur he does, holy shit!”

“Uh,” Richie laughs, and rakes a hand through his hair, which already looks like he’s been dragged through a hedge backwards. “Uh, hey guys?”

Then Eddie appears from behind him, sheened in sweat and drowning in Richie’s hideous boxing-kangaroo patterned shirt. He hooks his arm up around Richie’s shoulders, and obviously orgasms do wonders for disintegrating that pesky build-up of inhibition, because he beams drunkenly at them all and says, “Actually, Eddie Kaspbrak fucks.”

[petboymart]

Got this squad of doofuses you might appreciate 😂 Scruffy and Diesel are the two dogs, Frankie and Ragnar are the Maine coons, and Gracie's the blepper 😌

OH MY FUCKING GOD YOUR MAINE COONS THEYRE SO PRETTY

CRYING CRYING CRYING

WANNA KISS EM

THE EARS OH MY GODDDDD

OUR MAINE COON IS FAT AND MEAN BUT ALSO RLLY CUTE BUT MOSTLY THE FIRST TWO BUT URS AGAGAGAAFCVGSHGDDJHGDHSID SOBBING

[dbssh]

Tell me about your ocs babe

!!!!!!! I have like 300 but rn im super 👀👀 on my boys charlie and farian so those are gonna be the ones i talk about!!

Farian is a ½ goblin theif! Theyre like 30-something but a little over 10 years ago they bonked their head and cant remember anything from before. They use the polymorph spell to have a more normal and less-gobliney appearance. They actually kinda suck at stealing but its all they can do really so \/(’_’)\/. Theyre very hot-headed and very flashy, they like to dress expensively and with horrible tacky patterns and colours just to show off.

Charlie is a human fighter/warlock. A few years ago he got an illness that had no known cure, and he wouldve died, but he found a magical entity that gave him magic so that his body heals as fast as it deteriorates. This also makes him functionally invincible, because injuries heal in like 3 seconds. The magic leaves behind sparkly blue marks on his skin, which he tries to keep covered. The bad part of the deal that he made is that sometimes the being tells him to do stuff and if he doesnt then the magic keeping him alive starts to fade. Usually its just “steal that shiny object” but sometimes its weird shit like “i need you to eat exactly seven raw sardines”. Oh and he has a wonderful southern accent (in my head he looks like Justin Mcelroy and sounds like the voice justin uses for duck in taz amnesty). He tries not to use the magic powers for much other than keeping himself alive because if he uses too much of it then there wont be enough left to keep him functioning for a while.

These two doofuses met when farian bit off more than they could chew and were being chased down by the people they stole from and charlie stepped in to protect them just cuz hes noble like that. They’ve been drifters together ever since, occasionally being run out of places when farian gets themself in trouble. Their relationship is weird because like they live together and are each others closest and only friend but theyre both super like “what??? Us??? In a relationship????? Pffft never we’re just two guys being pals!! Just good friends!! Not even actually i just stick around him because hes useful!!!! Lmao can you imagine????? Us DATING???? Besides evein if I did like them, which i dont, theyd NEVER like me so you should just drop it”. Theyre either In Denail or really Stupid(its both) because every one around them can see theyre head over fuckin heels.They dont really have a concrete goal except “survive”, theyre pretty content with what they have. Farian is kinda just itching to experience all the stuff he never has and travel, and Charlie just wants to make some impact on the world before this magic shit stops working and he kicks the bucket for good.

Now they travel with a group of adventurers looking for work with Fitz, an undead cleric and Actual Literal Medical Doctor whos trying to restore his faith in his god, Aria, a werewolf ranger who lives in the woods and wants to find the bastard who killed her parents, and Kal'iel(Kallie for short), a banished goddess who was just kinda bored.

[tumblunni]

oh man and im just remembering how dumb the damn unversed are they look like heartless and act like heartless and ARE EXACTLY HEARTLESS ‘theyre beings of pure unrestrained emotion who lash out angrily at everything around them’ ok but thats EXACTLY THE DESCRIPTION OF HEARTLESS except the bit on the end thats like ‘because they want your heart’ theyre just fuckin heartless but slightly blue tinted and with red instead of yellow eyes and they go out of their way to mimic all the archetypes that every game has to ahve, like the Large Bodies and the Nocturnes and etc and THEY LOOK REALLY SIMILAR EXCEPT FOR MORE COMPLICATED EYES and then the super shitty excusey way they FINALLY explain them in the last five minutes of the game as ‘fragments of vanitas’s heart’ like seriously it was already fuckin complicated enough to suddenly drop on us that roxas wasnt simply sora’s nobody but also a reflection of a real other guy who really existed years ago and somehow met sora in the spirit realm when he died and they fused or something and then also somehow this guy’s dark side looks exactly like sora BEFORE SORA and that part is never actually explained but also somehow mr dark side isnt actually a heartless but a something entirely else than can somehow vomit up mini heartless armies and like.. somehow never fuckin uses them to actually fight?? like seriously?? do we even ever see him in the same room as an unversed let alone controlling or creating them? it really feels like they wrote his entire character without this trait and then slapped it on in the last five minutes to have some sort of Shocking Twist or else just a goddamn excuse to have enemies cos seriously i bet they just wrote themselves into a corner and were like ‘damn we cant be fuckin logical and just have the heroes fighting Actual Bad Humans in the time before heartless’ or like.. fighting.. actual heartless.. seriously until they fuckin said ‘hey we made these new guys cos we got no heartless’, i literally never thought that heartless didnt exist back then! it would make absolutely no sense that xehanort/ansem made the first heartless in those experiments, i mean the whole Lore talks about how the worlds became separate long before any of these people were alive, and it was becuase of ‘darkness in people’s hearts’ so... yeah??? why not just say heartless are a primordial old evil that has had various outbreaks over history whenever some dood is super corrupt? and xehanort just released the latest ones + also did all those experiments to make the emblem variants so theyre even more dangerous than before, blablabla. Coulda just used all the same unversed designs and said theyre the non-emblem variants of Large Body, Nocturne, etc. Coulda even kept the different eyes idea and said they take on different evolutions each time they reoccur throughout history cos of the shape of the darkness in the heart of whoever called them. or whatever just anything except ‘dude somehow is able to create fifty billion minions from his butt yet somehow isnt overpowered and never uses this ever when he needs to’ seriously i shoulda had to fight another 1000 heartless battle just to get to this guy! if he has enough friggin MP to make EVERY SINGLE ENEMY WE FOUGHT IN THE ENTIRE GAME, then why did he ever stop???

*grump grump* im mad cos the designs are really cute and they’ll never get to come back ever again cos of the dumb vanitas backstory... also cos KH2/COM/Days/Coded already confused me and BBS was the absolute height of plot nonsense that made me quit the whole series for like 8 years im glad to be back but tbh i wish i could just ignore alllllllll of this plot shit and just get back to ‘fight the darkness, visit some cute disneys, cry over some soft protagonists who deserve a good hug’ but i cant cos that’d mean leaving behind all the scattered good bits in those million interquel games, like my beloved org 13 doofuses :/ why are my feelings so everywhere and nowhere at once and why am I googling lists of KH monster concept art at 4am and crying THEYRE SO FUCKIN CUTE AND IM SO SICK AND THEY HEAL ME why cant i hug the heartless aaa u can have my heart u were the primo cuteys of my childhood foreverrrrr god i need to go cook some mac n cheese 4am mac and cheese and heartless auuuuuauuuuuu

[spidorc]

Ryuji/Yuuki & Akira/Yuuki ;)

*Gwen Stephani voice* UH HUH THIS MY SHIT!!

Ryuji/Yuki:

who’s the cuddler: 

Ryuji. I always hc’d Yuki as kind of reserved to actually touching people, so Ryuji would have to be kind of foreward with cuddling. Yuki trusts him so its chill.

Bonus since I have this ship on my rp blog: They’re totally the kind of cuddlers to start with the most minimal of contacts but then without even realizing become entirely tangled. Its a strange phenomenon. 

who makes the bed:

They both just sort of roll out in the morning so usually the bed is unmade trash. In the event that the sheets get too messy or bunched up though, they have little competitions. Ryuji usually wins, so Yukis the bedmaker for the most part.

who wakes up first:

Ryuji. Gotta get in that training, you know?

who has the weird taste in music:

Yuki hangs out near a club my dude.

who is more protective:

R Y U J I  H O L Y  S H I T

who sings in the shower:

I cant really see either of them as singers tbh??

who cries during movies:

Yuki is a sensitive child.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Probably Yuki, I mean Ryuji probably grew up in a really money-conscious household if I read his link right.

who kisses more roughly:

Ryuji, and my god is Yuki into it.

who is more dominate:

Again, Ryuji, but I think theyre both pretty lax in whos dominating at any given time. Like, neither of them like being dominant too many times in a row, both of them get paranoid about it after a while.

my rating of the ship from 1-10:

11/10 Ive been shipping this for half a year and I ship it on my rp blog and just gahhh I love this ship to hell and back. They. Theyre doofuses in love.

~~

Akira/Yuki

who’s the cuddler:

Akira, because of the same hc. 

I would like to think though, that sometimes when Yuki does that ‘leaning in real close’ thing Akira will start to get all cheeky  and give him a little peck, which flusters the hell out of Yuki most of the time.

who makes the bed:

Akira likes keeping things tidy, but its hard because he has to wait for Yuki to actually get out of bed when the poor guy actually does go to bed that is.

who wakes up first:

Akira. Hes a lot more on top of things than Yuki.

who has the weird taste in music:

Yuki. You just cant beat him in that.

who is more protective:

Akira.

who sings in the shower:

Dude. Dude. It may just because I always see Akira as a total nerd but its definitely him. Catch him singing some random anime opening in there.

who cries during movies:

They both do, but surprisingly Akira moreso. Akiras a sap for romance movies, and will tear up for most emotional things, but let me tell you Yuki beats him when it comes to horror movies only. Poor guy gets scared to tears.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Akira. I mean have you seen all the money you get while playing???

who kisses more roughly:

Akiras probably like ‘oh no hes so tiny i dont want to kiss too roughly--’ and then Yuki just bites Akiras lip like ‘nope. do it or i will.’

who is more dominate:

HMMMMMMM idk I want to say Akira cause you know good ol Masochistic Mishima but at the same time I like the idea of Yuki having to kind of egg Akira on into being more dominant so ?????

my rating of the ship from 1-10:

10/10 I love!!!! They are also two dorks in love and they are happy!!

[cocacola-garlic]

TAZ SPOILERS EP 58

- imagine a pile of ashes omfg - OH MY GOD IS THAT PRINGLES - IS HE TALKING ABT PRINGLES - ooooh shiiitttttttt thats the voidfish kskssskshhshhhk - i cant believe taako ever trusted anyone in the first place - thats why he kept collecting arms - i need a pocket barry game - thats the voice griffin uses when he wants the boys to find something - get! new! dice! clint! - AND TWO: ok - aw i was hopin it was krav for a second - ohhh my gooodd hey taako help ur boi wtf why has nobody mentioned krav until n o w - clown bullshit - i should start saying "yeah my best friend is famous. ""yep its griffin mcelroy" - YEAH LIKE KRAVITZ - i wish i had the money to become a maxfun donor ;-; one day - I GASPED WHEN HE SAID ASTRAL PLANE - THANK U GRIFFIN FOR SAVING OUR BOI OH MY GOD I'm SO RELEAVED - loveable doofuses ;-; - HES ALIVE BUT OH NO MY POOR SWEET BOY OMG :,( i almost cried wtf I'm so emotional over this sweet reaper - the boys are back in town -avi - id give em a podcast oscar - carey :( - taako failing his bluff checks is the greatest thing - its half past persuasion - are you.... sure..... - KITTY CAT - theyre playing simon says with magnus - awww avi my sweet boi - these magnus "its almost like hes here" goofs are the best - its ok i sang the theme song anyway - i was worried we wouldnt be able to draw the lasagna cat anymore for a sec - the APOCOLYPSE???? - I ACTUALLY SCREAMED taako u clever bastard - ehaaaat griffin u whore??????? what???????? -I'm LAUGHING SO HARD - WAS GARFIELD EVIL THE WHOLE TIME WTF - ooh that is a problem - "those are the arms that held my wife" holy shit that just broke my heart so bad - magnus is so passionate and heartfelt about this aaaaa my boy - taako probably has lovely swirly pretty handwriting just sayin - HER BEST FRIEND -H E R G I R L F R I E N D - I'm ACTUALLY CRYING HOLY SHIT LIKE TEARS IN MY EYES HER GIRLFRIEND - everyones so alone and sad and unsure - what whAt WHAT - this is just so VIVID that literal word PICTURE MY DUDE

[imabookmarkaddict]

trevor is cheesy, markus’ thoughts on hanging and banging

Poor trevor trying to understand anything markus says

puzzlezToday at 3:45 AM

yeh i already have an idea for how markus explains it

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3:46 AM

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i was thinking the series could be something like idfk

WelshenToday at 3:46 AM

Yeah okay good i just didnt wanna put u in a place of trying to describe something supernatural

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3:47 AM

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Markus is good at recognizing patterns too so series of numbers r p easy to notice

puzzlezToday at 3:47 AM

13 7 21 18 12 1 23 17 6 3 22

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3:47 AM

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where it's 3 series of numbers that alternate or smth

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3:47 AM

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they all go up by 5

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3:48 AM

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13 to 18 to 23, 7 to 12 to 17, 21 to 1 to 6

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3:48 AM

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if u can even see it god nowi'm like markus

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3:48 AM

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but he has no idea how to explain it to trevor

WelshenToday at 3:48 AM

Oh god yeah exact

puzzlezToday at 3:48 AM

so he just writes it down and shows it to trevor like see u see the pattern

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3:48 AM

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and trevor is just staring at a string of random numbers

WelshenToday at 3:48 AM

Its like trevor explaining morning runs to markus

puzzlezToday at 3:48 AM

...tf drugs u on

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3:48 AM

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and markus just keeps writing numbers

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3:49 AM

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like do u see the pattern?

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3:49 AM

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here i'll do another one give me a number

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3:49 AM

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and trevor does and markus writes and then says now you do th next one

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3:49 AM

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and trevor blinks down at the numbers

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3:49 AM

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maybe it can get cute

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3:49 AM

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trevor has no idea what markus is doing and decides time to change subject cuz numbers, lol

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3:50 AM

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and maybe the last number in the series markus wrote was a 3

WelshenToday at 3:50 AM

Probably? Time for sex education

puzzlezToday at 3:50 AM

and trevor just adds a < to it

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3:50 AM

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yeh i see the pattern

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3:50 AM

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"<3"

WelshenToday at 3:50 AM

Oh thats cheesy christ

puzzlezToday at 3:50 AM

u asked for it

WelshenToday at 3:50 AM

But markus doesnt use phones he has no clue

puzzlezToday at 3:50 AM

hey maybe markus can call him out on it

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3:50 AM

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oh fuck then it's perfect

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3:50 AM

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maybe trevor is bad at flirting with guys sometimes??

WelshenToday at 3:51 AM

Im sure he has never tried in his life

puzzlezToday at 3:51 AM

like maybe he tried cheesy stuff with girls and it worked so whenever he feels lost and confused he just defaults to a cheesey cute one liner

WelshenToday at 3:51 AM

Just dates idk cheerleaders and other sporty girls

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3:51 AM

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Omh yah perf

puzzlezToday at 3:51 AM

how would markus react tho

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3:52 AM

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would he enjoy it mostly like watching an amusing 5 yo play at dressup

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3:52 AM

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or would he just cringe like wtf drugs r U on

WelshenToday at 3:53 AM

He would just be confused until he understands and then embarrassed to heck

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3:53 AM

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Markus doesnt flirt much either u kno

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3:54 AM

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Its just heres money lets go

puzzlezToday at 3:54 AM

poor thing

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3:54 AM

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if i remember correctly, will was a smooth talker flirter

WelshenToday at 3:54 AM

Squint

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3:54 AM

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If u mean when he said ur beautiful after like 2mins is smooth

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3:54 AM

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Yeah

puzzlezToday at 3:55 AM

so yeah maybe trevor can be bad as heck at flirting until he feels awkward and spits out those one-liner balls of cheese in a rush of panic

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3:55 AM

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well i'm p sure will thought he was a smooth talker

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3:55 AM

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ppl probs too polite to point out he ain't

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3:55 AM

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but yeh thought it might give markus some variation?

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3:56 AM

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unless u prefer trevor to be good at flirting

WelshenToday at 3:57 AM

No trevor can be bad but markus is equally bad

puzzlezToday at 3:57 AM

perrrrrrrfect

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3:57 AM

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i picture trevor kinda secretly watching markus for cues sometimes on what to do??

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3:57 AM

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i mean porn shows u terrible, fake, unrealistic sex

WelshenToday at 3:57 AM

And markus is normally not very perceptive

puzzlezToday at 3:57 AM

at best u learn how to bend your hips back forward in impossible yoga/sex moves

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3:58 AM

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and since he tried those and learned nothing trevor knows nada about actual relationships with dudes

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3:58 AM

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so i had a feeling he was going to sort of quietly watch markus for leads on what to do

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3:58 AM

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so markus being bad at teaching + panicked trevor + cheesy pickup line + markus confused + markus not able to flirt back = a terrible awkward but adorable couple of doofuses

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3:58 AM

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and this i can absolutely work with

WelshenToday at 3:59 AM

Markus can do it technically but not very enthusiastically?? If that makes sense

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3:59 AM

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He gets better but u kno

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3:59 AM

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Yes i hope that works

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3:59 AM

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Theyre both idiots

puzzlezToday at 3:59 AM

i think that makes sense

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4:00 AM

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maybe squint

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4:00 AM

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do you mean he like technically knows how/can think of something flirty to say but has no oomph behind it? like no drive to actually look/sound flirty?? or smth else?

WelshenToday at 4:02 AM

Yes pretty much

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4:03 AM

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I mean hes heard it all obv but that was more or less when he got paid so it sounds fake to him i guess(edited)

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4:04 AM

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So he can repeat it but i doubt he knows how to mean it? Or that he could stick to things he ACTUALLY means (but hed be too awk to say)

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4:04 AM

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And that goes for all relationship hijinks

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4:05 AM

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Jo was a weird mix of paid and cute stalker?? They didnt flirt so much as get along

puzzlezToday at 4:06 AM

yeahh okay

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4:06 AM

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it makes sense tho

WelshenToday at 4:07 AM

Hey hes a mess

puzzlezToday at 4:07 AM

i made a char who was a prostitute and if deffo made him bad at relationships for similar reasons

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4:07 AM

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(my ghost waja actually)

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4:07 AM

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(prostitute ghost waja)

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4:07 AM

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(v wajas appropriate)

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4:07 AM

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so then does markus actually uhh like idk enjoy sex?

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4:08 AM

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if he's done all kinds of stuff from vanilla to crazy-whatever-clients want stuff i'm assuming he's tried/seen most if not all flavors of sex?

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4:08 AM

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so would it be 100% a chore to get through sex or would he still enjoy it in relationships?

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4:09 AM

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i wasn't sure how to write the sorta kinda sex scene with trevor for this reason squint

WelshenToday at 4:10 AM

Im pretty sure hes asexual but not aromantic, he definitely thinks its a chore but if its with someone he has a romantic interest in its a fun chore?(edited)

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4:10 AM

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And at this stage its the only way he knows how to connect with people well guys anyway

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4:12 AM

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Adam fits him better cuz hes got low interest in sex and markus prefers making out and cuddling?

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4:12 AM

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Thats like 10years later when markus has gotten some idea of what he prefers tho

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4:12 AM

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Does that even make sense

puzzlezToday at 4:13 AM

yeah

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4:13 AM

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like i said my one oc was a prostitute and he's of a similar uh... mind? i guess is the word?

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4:13 AM

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in that regard

WelshenToday at 4:13 AM

Yeah

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4:14 AM

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Im sure theres plenty of types of people, but these ones just do it as any other job?

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4:14 AM

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I think markus referred to it as not much difference to idk toilet janitor, he even prefers this cuz he can lay down and nap lol

puzzlezToday at 4:15 AM

omfgggg

WelshenToday at 4:16 AM

Probably napped while working to be honest

puzzlezToday at 4:16 AM

yeh my char did it purely for money and he's impatient af but decent at acting so an extent to he pretended to enjoy company of his clients for the money but secretly hated most of them and the kinkier ones ruined sex for him in a way? like it's just "pretend and act out these ridiculous things" so he doesn't really enjoy sex, figures it's a chore, just gotta see it through to the end, and that mindset continues with him for a while(edited)

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4:16 AM

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but i can see markus napping

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4:17 AM

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lazy bones boy

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4:17 AM

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so i'm guessing markus wouldn't really initiate sex then

WelshenToday at 4:18 AM

He would if trevor made him uncomfortable enough

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4:18 AM

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Cuz at lesst he knows how to do THAT

puzzlezToday at 4:19 AM

yeah okay that makes sense

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4:19 AM

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poor kid tho rofl

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4:20 AM

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so i'm assuming trevor is bad as gay sex in general because never tried before but

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4:20 AM

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would he be the type to be eager to learn, like want to please markus in bed, or would he be a more impatient/selfish lover, like i wanna race to the end and if we figure out how to please you along the way, then good perf

WelshenToday at 4:22 AM

Probably the first

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4:22 AM

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If it was the second one markus would start to feel cheated out of money

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4:23 AM

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Well i mean its not easy to do but by that i mean even if trevor is done theyd still make out enough for markus to get over it

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4:23 AM

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Squint

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4:23 AM

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This is very difficult

puzzlezToday at 4:24 AM

omg snort

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4:24 AM

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i think i get what you mean tho

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4:24 AM

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markus gets "paid" in uh... affection/devotion?idk if that's the right word but

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4:24 AM

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trevor focusing on some kind of need of markus would be like "payment" in a convoluted sense for the sex?(edited)

WelshenToday at 4:25 AM

Yes

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4:25 AM

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Pretty much exactly

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4:26 AM

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Well markus hasnt had a currency free relationship yet

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4:27 AM

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Thinks every bit of affection is to be paid or payment for smth

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4:27 AM

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This is babys first real bf tbh(edited)

puzzlezToday at 4:29 AM

trevor?

WelshenToday at 4:30 AM

Markus

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4:30 AM

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Well trevors too

puzzlezToday at 4:30 AM

okay yeh i thought you meant markus/trevor

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4:30 AM

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making sure

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4:30 AM

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first real bfs with each other

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4:31 AM

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sad the relationship goes up in such flames

WelshenToday at 4:31 AM

Yes well

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4:31 AM

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It was really neithers fault

puzzlezToday at 4:32 AM

and yet the flames buuuurn

WelshenToday at 4:32 AM

But markus is the one on his own after

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4:32 AM

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Unless u count spencer

puzzlezToday at 4:32 AM

do u count spencer

WelshenToday at 4:32 AM

As a minus i do