#theyre not gonna be able to use them as effectively as these guys whove had centuries of time to train with them

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Okay so, I obviously am not even close to reading acosf but ive been seeing a lot of posts about it and nessian and it made me think about some stuff. Why is it that Nesta seems to trigger Cassian's insecurities in the intense way that she does, but none of the other inner circle member do? Like, his biggest insecurity is his bastardhood but hes fine with Rhysand calling him that when hes introducing him to Feyre because? hes doing it in a friendly way? I guess? Idk, i think if he cant handle Nesta calling him that when shes using it as a synonym for asshole then I dont he should be okay with Rhysand doing it in a 'friendly' way but whatever. Also sidenote about his introduction to Feyre, iirc one of them said some line about how all illyrian bastards are basically brothers but then Rhysand is also their brother in all but blood, so for a brief moment I got these crossed wires where I was like "wait, is Rhysand trying to claim bastardhood when he was not only not born out of wedlock but was born as the result of a bond ordained by god" and I dont think thats the case, I think "cassian and azriel share a kind of brotherhood through their bastardhood" and "rhysand, cassian and azriel are adoptive brothers" are supposed to be wholly seperate statements, although it is pretty weird how that line seems to imply that the former is the main reason that Cassian and Azriel are brothers, as opposed to the fact that they were raised together when they were children. very weird, but that might just be me

But lets get back to Cassian. Another thing he seems to be insecure about is the fact that he's a brute or seen as nothing but a brute, judging by the fact that thats something he brings up in that big monologue after Nesta and Eris' dance, but again, I feel like the rest of the IC lowkey treat him like hes a brute and kinda stupid even if theyre not outright saying it. And like, Im pretty sure Amren has outright said it. Not to mention that whole thing with him taking Mor's virginity which, she wanted to sleep with him because he was the strongest warrior which is technically complimentary, but I feel like it should have a similar impact to the overtly negative brute-insults because its similarly putting a lot of emphasis on his physical strength and kindof dehumanizes him (not to mention the fact that its pretty racist, both in-and out-of-universe). Also, i dont think this was ever explicitly said in the text as the reason for why Mor picked him over Azriel, but doesnt it kinda feel like she picked Cassian because he was 'lower'? Like, obviously their backgrounds are quite similar with both of them being bastards but Azriel was the son of a nobleman while im pretty sure Cassian was from like a poor commoner family, and I could definitely see her picking him just to make sure shes thoroughly 'ruining herself' by having sex with someone she as the lowest of the lowest of the low, yknow? And like, even if thats not why she did it, these fuckers dont communicate and Cassian seems insanely insecure so I feel like he shouldve had the same process as I just had, and it shouldve affected their relationship negatively but thats not the case, Cassian is just like "no thoughts, head empty, pagelong internal monolgue about how beautiful and kind Mor is"

I was gonna write another paragraph about the illyrian racism but this post is getting kinda long and I think you've gotten my point by now: the ic can do whatever they want with things that touch on Cassians insecurites and he will not care and continue sucking up to them with nary even a second thought, but if Nesta even exists in his vicinity, it ticks him off so badly. And why is that? Because...... she has rich person-vibes? i guess? Thats it, its just vibes. And Im not the first person to point this out, but the text is really trying to make nessian seem like this rich lady/poor boy dynamic and like Cassian is punching up because "Nesta is like a queen" and its like, yeah, emphasis on the 'like' there because shes not actually a queen and she doesnt hold any power over this guy!!