#theyre gonna be out of order cuz im dumb

[superbellsubways]

star gazing

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

Can you give us some Ford x Pacifica headcanons?

God anon im so sorry this took forever and i hope youre still lurking on my blog because YES I CAN HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR LETRING ME INDULGE

pacifica is into ford because shes into smart badass nerds the way dipper was when they worked together and ford is basically all that BUT MORE. more experience, more skills, more physical prowess and like she said. is super hot lmfao

ford and pacifica meet that day when they got into the whole face stealer thing— ford appreciates that she covered herself in garbage knowing it was an effective disguise among the creatures in the black market. AND that she actually pulled off fooling them before dipper blew it. pacifica is like, instantly flustered and a blushing mess

both of them expected she would be super disgusted when she shakes his hand and sees the six fingers— ford never got over the way cathy crenshaw freaked out over his hands and well, pacificas a judgmental bitch— but honestly seeing how tiny her dainty princess hand was in his gigantic and calloused palm was sort of an awakening for pacifica for size differences. ford is already a creep via dipfording and is also mega into it, but actually manages to be normal about it in the moment

when pacifica works at the diner and the stan twins make their way there, pacifica ALWAYS wants to get ford order and has a pretty obvious hopeless crush and throws in some WAY too nice compliments about his dumb research, but ford has waitress trauma so he doesnt realize it lmfao stan does tho and just rolls his eyes all the time and is

adding my d*pcifica bias here but also cuz its the most realistic way the main two are gonna get it on: i LOVE the idea of pacifica knowing dipper has a weird intense crusb on his uncle while theyre dating and is like okay but can i get in on that. dipper is like ?????? and pacifica is like oh come on in not STUPID dipper, if you want to fuck your uncle at least let me join (because she wont admit she wants to be in on that too) its not like i care your family is already super fucking weird and im still here. also hes super hot so

ford would more or less agree for dippers sake more than not but like, he would get to live out SO much of his pent up frustration about girls from his adoloscence on pacifica that, he def had gotten rough with her in the middle. dipper thought it was super fucking hot and wishes ford didnt see himself in dipper so much so hed treat him like that too sometimes fr fr

honestly the northwest family is not a good family, so pacifica adjusts to this dynamic way too well. which is concerning. yet fascinating for ford. he wants to psychoanalyze pacifica like hes some kind of psychologist ignoring the fact hes not at all qualified for it because he has 12 phds so he can do that anyway

ALSO abbigail northwest being a former inventor would mean ford would def be interested in more of her family history— its just FAR too fascinating to not touch

[kudzucataclysm]

cyrus complains abt wwz (2013) scene by scene for an unknown amount of words. finally

everyone has to ignore this btw. jsyk

* im dividing this into sections cuz thats how the movie plays out to me. in sections

* i have seen this movie probably like. around 20 times. its so bad and i love hating it

* its always lowkey depressing watching brad pitt in this movie he gives me the energy of like a dog about to be put down

* uuuh what else. oh the book is def better but still has its own problems + wouldve worked better as a fictional documentary limited series of sorts

* im also going by memory so thats fun.

* this is long as fuck. way longer than the days after and 2012 posts, but imo theres so much more to shit on in this movie than those two apparently

* ok here we go

THE FIRST 6 MINUTES

* quite literally 2 straight minutes of a people/nature/climate change/natural disaster montage with news report audio over it. and that fuck ass piano

* ^wendy williams jumpscare

* u know they gotta introduce the wife and kids first. AVERAGE AMERICAN NUCLEAR FAMILY shit. there r STAKES! ONES WE DONT GAF ABT BUT THERE R SOME

* on tv during the breakfast scene theres news reports of like spreading unrest and martial law and immmmm like? its said in a bit that the infection emerged like. a week or two ago so why does nobody here know abt it-

* the traffic scene. the way like theres a random explosion somewhere while everyones sitting there and the motorcycle cop just kinda flies out of nowhere to scream at them and then the garbage truck flies out of nowhere to kill him despite there being wall to wall traffic behind them? when i was 12 this was scary as shit but now every time it happens i giggle uncontrollably

* just the general outbreak of chaos in nyc. i once again ask the question of why tf nobody had heard of this thing until like just now like we got people jumping into the front windshield of cars and nibbling people and jumping off buildings and shit

* NOT EVEN EATING THEM!!! BTW!!!! like if i take the time to sit and think this really isnt even that bad of a “zombie” outbreak like u get ONE bite then they seem to fuck off. maybe one or two but like at least u aren’t getting eaten alive ig LAH MAOW

* also the 10 second infection thing is dumb to me. i dunno i just never liked it like OUGH ok. wtv. not possible…BUT WTV…

* the toy counting couldve been like GROUNDBREAKING or creative in a differently shot movie ig

* philadelphia? or boston? or SOMEWHERE NORTHEAST is absolutely decimated in the span of like what i assume is 3 minutes real time. epic

* dunno where all the smoke is coming from + this movie loves french horns + the military helicopter pilot going “CONTAINMENT FAILED” is funny to me. what containment bruh

NEW JERSEY

* i like how the family narrowly escapes the city and flees via some random stretch of interstate and the traffic is NormalTM LAH MAOW

* idc much for the athsmar plot bit its kinda just here to get us to a new jersey pharmacy in order to show us the Breakdown of Society i suppose

* CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE LIKE ACTUALLY THO? they ditch their vehicle, LEAVING IT OPEN in a chaotic crowd of panicked people like no shot its gonna get stolen BEH BLEH? i dunno what the random guy with the gun in the pharmacy was doing?? but hes cool ig for knowing exactly what the asthmar kid needs and just kinda being there chilling. then the wife gets attacked but jerry saves her and they run out to the ca- NOOO it got stolen. time to flee on foot. through these INFECTED STREETS-

* they run into a random apartment building and theyre just loud asf for no reason in the hallway and its echoing loud as shit

* the immigrant family soooo couldve rode this shit out and survived. how the fuck did the zombies even get into the apartment when the door is locked and barricaded and the family was even quieter than the protagonist’s

* i get that jerry is like a former un investigator or some shit but iiiii dont think the organizations secretary general would be trying to rescue this ONE GUY. theres just?? ONE investigator or something?? jerry pitt isnt special

* its never explained but for some reason if you get like an infected persons blood in yur mouth yur good but if someone bites you yur somehow…not??? lol wtf. pathology who

* if anything this part hammers home how absolutely irrelevant the mc’s family is i genuinely did not give a single fuck abt these kids who have been screaming this entire time

THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER

* once again why is jerry the only one being retrieved-

* the computers and diagrams in the command hq going insane with numbers of infected skyrocketing across the world yet in the span of time thats passed in this movie its only been *checks watch* two days. then the table of scientists arguing about an email being sent out TWO AND A HALF WEEKS PRIOR TO ALL THIS that mentions infected people

* ^ngl. i liked it when the one scientist was like “in the email they mentioned…zombies!!! ☝🏼🤓” and everyone at the table groaned and began shitting on him immediately lol

* jerry gets pissed when the guy in charge of the carrier threatens to throw his family off the boat if he doesnt pull his weight which?? YEAH??? why get mad abt it dude u were brought here to WORK and do INVESTIGATION SHIT

* jerry is essentially getting put in charge of this one virologist who can Figure It Out. the ONE VIROLOGIST who is going to fly into south korea with a seal team to try to investigate the origins of the disease. and this scientist is like…my age?? im pretty sure? hell no lol

* jerry says goobye to his irrelevant fambly and gives them a SATELLITE PHONE TO CONTACT HIM?? WHEN HES FLYING INTO AN ACTIVELY INFESTED AREA FULL OF ZOMBIES??? HE LAYS GROUND RULES BTW!! he says “oh i’ll call u dont call me im working i will call once a day” KFHJDDHHD??? AND THIS LADY DOESNT-

* anyway theres an offhand comment abt how DC has gone dark so the evacuation of the executive and legislative branches r HASHTAG CANCELED. however these guys found the time to rescue the fuckin US constitution LMAOOOO

* this “outbreak” has been ongoing for weeks now. and nobody knew until just yesterday what r we doin y’all

SOUTH KOREA

* fun fact in the book the infection is implied to have come from indochina. there is absolutely no reason whatsoever why they changed this

* anyway so they fly in on a boeing c17?? theres no quieter way to do this apparently but anyway the virologist goes on this little tangent/speech ig about how “mother nature is a serial killer and like serial killers she leaves clues cuz she wants attention HEH and thats how im gonna solve it” and?? no??? this bit always annoys me jfhfhf the writing is like someone trying so hard to sound cool

* they land in their big loud ass c17 cargo plane AT NIGHT so yknow. zombies attack and the virologist (who has been given a loaded gun) gets spooked and

* HE TRIES TO RUN BACK INTO THE PLANE. HE SLIPS AND ACCIDENTALLY FIRES OFF HIS GUN AND SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE FUCKING HEAD LMAOOOO 😭 well FUCK the only guy who can solve this is DEAD NOW time to step tf up jerald

* jerry finally starts doing his job ig when they get into the base and the soldiers stuck in there joke abt the virologist accidentally killing himself. word. and thennn? they showcase like a room full of immolated infected who’s bodies have been mostly reduced to ashes but can still move apparently. eye dee kay

* it’s offhandedly mentioned that ONE soldier wasnt attacked by the infected cuz of a “bum leg”. this will be brought up again later trust

* not the only two black officers asking jerbald abt how st louis and baltimore r doing jfjfjfjf

* theres a CIA officer imprisoned there for some reason and he essentially tells jerry that israel might have answers while pulling out his own teeth with his fucking hand. try doing that yurself real quick. ok now stop thats fucking stupid. then he goes on to claim that north korea pulled out the teeth of all 23 million of its own citizens in order to fight the infected. yeah man ok sure-

* ANOTHER FUN FACT in the book the entire population of north korea straight up disappears in it’s entirety. like. everyone Left Somewhere and everyone else is too scared to go in and investigate cuz cold war booby trappage. its implied that the north koreans fled into a *checks notes* underground bunker city of some kind. yeah. anyway

* he tries to call his wife but theyre in a building ig so the signal is shit but SHE PICKS UP THE CALL! CAN HEAR HIM KINDA GO THROUGH BEFORE HE CUTS THE CALL!!! BTW!!!

* so ok when the plane landed it evidently ran out of fuel or some shit so before jerry can take off one his globetrotting adventure they have to like bike through a thunderstorm and shit which is evidence imo of SOME critical thinking going on in the writers room but alas

* HIS IRRELEVANT WIFE CALLS HIM!!! CUZ SHES BORED!!! AND IT GOES OFF and alerts all the zombies lol

* idr how they attached and detached the fuel line to the 17 but to fill the tank of this behemoth it only took like a minute?? and a soldier got bit and kills himself instantly cuz Sacrifice

* they ESCAPE!! and on the way to their new destination jerry calls his wife back for some reason nfjfjfj imo if i were him i’d be yelling at her like fucking crazy but then a nuke goes off and satellites dont work anymore cuz of that? so the call ends lol

* BOOK FUN FACT TIME AGAIN for soooome? reason india and pakistan end up nuking each other to oblivion while the outbreak/zombie war is happening. idr how many nukes exactly but it was enough to offset the earths climate by decades

* ITS OFF TO ISRAEL

FUCK ISRAEL ONG ALL MY HOMIES HATE ISRAEL

* not even gonna sugarcoat this. this section of the movie AND the book make NO SENSE TO ME.

* in both, israel rescues and helps out the Palestinians and bring them behind the massive wall that theyve somehow built in like?? 20-80 days or something. and haaaaahhhh??? yeah on what fucking planet

* in the book even max brooks writes from the perspective of a palestinian who hates israel who’s family gets rescued by them from the infected so he forgives them??? or like he laments about how wrong he was about them??? yeah. ok max

* anyway jerry brad somehow lands in israel and israel has built the equivalent of like wall fucking maria around the entire(?) territory in a few weeks. theres random tunnels leading out from inside the wall that’s presumably transporting refugees but from WHERE. WE NEVER KNOW. and the entire outside of the wall is just millions of infected. who r not climbing the wall or anything they r kinda just Out There maybe sniffing around a bit and scratching shit. chillin

* im not an architect. im not a military engineer. but ik this deadass would not be possible also ITS IMPLIED??? THAT ISRAEL FUCKING KNEW ABOUT THE INFECTION BEFORE A LOT OF EVERYONE ELSE??? and they just built the wall based on a RADIO MESSAGE FROM INDIA WHERE THEY HEARD “zombies” and went FUUUUCK. TIME TO BUILD THIS FUCKASS WALL. AND NOT TELL ANYONE-

* brad jerry meets a guy and basically they discuss the virus origins and india is brought up for some reason?? and its implied that it came from there but its a black hole now so fuck india and fuck the virus origins ig lol (fun fact in the original script the guy said ‘russia’ not india damn i wonder why they changed that)

* theres this very i feel pointed scene of like. muslim refugees celebrating the fact that they were saved and so theyre singing into a malfunctioning microphone, and THAT is ultimately what makes the zombies quit fucking around and to climb the wall. not the incessant military activity or the constantly patrolling choppers or the weird random tunnels full of buses and shit its these hijabis singing and its the feedback from this one microphone. that does it ig

* the wall climbing scene is iconic ngl. one of the most terrifying concepts ever im giving credit

* jerbrad runs through jersusalem and he witnesses a bald kid (implied to be undergoing chemotherapy) get avoided by a stampede of zombies. another cluuuueee ooooo then one of his escorts get bit by a zombie and he chops her hand off no hesitation #GetActive

* they somehow manage to flag down a passenger plane before it takes off and get it to stop to let bradjer and the israeli chick onboard which is hilarious in hindsight cuz imagine being one of the paying passengers and yur plane stops and now its abt to get Swarmed. lol

* yknow what actually. why was this plane and other planes so ready to take off while fully boarded. where tf were all these people going originally?? what??? like atp its beeeeen 3 days since the start of the movie nfhfbfbdnd

THE PLANE

* i dunno why jerry thinks or like. why the UN guy thinks that they can just hijack this plane apparently and tell the pilots where to go. what abt EVERYONE ELSE

* israeli chick says something that triggers a FLASHBACK!!! and jerbrad puts all the clues togetherrrrrr and comes to the conclusion that if YOU. ARE SICK. OR ARE IN FACT TERMINALLY ILL! the zombies wont bite u 😏

* i dont even know where to begin with this ngl. how the fuck would zombies even know that someone is sick or has a disease. does someone HAVE to be terminally ill? what level of disease are we talking about? is it ANY DISEASE? what if u have like. kidney stomes. can the ZOMBIE SENSE IT and CAN THE ZOMBIE DEDUCE THAT IT DOESNT WANT ITS HOST TO HAVE KIDNEY STONES??? what about the random irrelevant kid with ATHSMAR??? WOULD THE ZOMBIES NOT WANT TO BITE HER?? DO PEOPLE SMELL OF DISEASE???? CAN THE ZOMBIES SMELL HIV?? WHAT ABOUT THE GUY WITH THE BUM LEG WHAT THE FUCK DID HE HAVE? HE JUST SAID ITD BEEN HURTING AND LIMPING!! SO DO PHYSICAL AILMENTS AFFECT THE WAY ZOMBIES PERCIEVE PEOPLE TOO OR

* anyway. i digress

* somehow a zombie got onto the plane despite the fact that the zombies r like Loud as Shit and also an infected person cant really hide their infection cuz they turn in like 10 seconds and also the people in the plane are ALSO loud and anyway the zombie jumps out at a flight stewardess and bleh

* JERALD GETS THE BUM FUCK IDEA. TO CREATE A WALL OF SUITCASES TO BLOCK OUT THE ZOMBIES FROM THEIR SECTION OF THE PLAAAAAANE??????? suitcase drops and hell breaks loose ofc

* ngl the grenade was the safest fucking way this plane was getting onto the ground LMAOOOO but i mean. the pilots? KNEW what was going on and didnt decide to try to land????? huwuuuh

* ABSOLUTE CHAD MOVE ON JERBRADS this was all timed perfectly he made the plane crash right where he wanted it- in a random ass country with a WHO headquarters: wales

* its never answered or like acknowledged but there r straight up no zombies running around the city/town they end up in btw. everyone’s inside their houses vibing. how 2020 shouldve been-

* jerbrad wakes up from the crash and has like a seatbelt lodged in his stomach but the israeli emerges from the wreck unscathed for some reason. she manages to drag his nigh unconscious ass through the town to

THE WHO

* jerbrad wakes up after 3 days and immediately starts giving shit to all the staff there like “U DUNNO WHAT ITS LIKE!! TO HAVE FAMILY AT RISK” and then the head sciencer just goes “yeah um actually my entire family turned into zombies right before my eyes. so” PFIFJFH granted jer freaks cuz his family was kicked off the aircraft carrier cuz the UN thought he was dead in the crash but like cmon. they didnt ship their asses back to philadelphia or some shit lol

* the way they have this infected black woman locked up behind a glass barrier absolutely sends me. btw. shes just 👁️🦷🦷👁️

* anyway jerbald shares his THEORY!!! abt the zombies being able to SMELL IF YUR SICK OR NOT…and the sciencers r like ok cool man sick theory but we cant really test this cuz we keep all our serious yet curable diseases in this one vault thats not in this building its in another Wing thats overrun by like 80 Zambies

* gonna talk abt that rq ok so they play back the security video and the scientist guy is looking at the disease through a microscope and then he like accidentally touches it or cuts himself on something ig. and then he flicks his ungloved cut infected hand around. and then he starts convulsing then he fucking turns wtf 😭 sir u r a WHO employee. u handle viruses daily why did u do that

* anyway jerbad is like fuckit imma prove my theory is real and they attempt to sneak through the wing of the WHO thats infected but ofc someone drops some shit and OUUU alerts all the zombies and everyone is chased around and jerrr finds himself trapped in the vauuult. with the diseasesss. hes only trapped btw cuz of one zombie whos outside the door ig

* he deadass doesn’t read any of the pathogen bottles/containers he just picks one and even the scientists r like “if he picked any of the pathogens out of the left box bro is COOKEDDT 😭🙏🏼” jerbrad are we gonna slow down and think for a minute maybe NO balls to the wall we’re injecting ourselves with unknown microbes. we’re giving ourselves FUCKING ANTHRAX for all we know

* turns out it was the right one cuz the ZOMBIES DONT NOTICE HIM ANYMORE!!! and he does a pepsi product placement advertisement then he does a big hero walk down a hallway past a swarm of zombies and boom. humanity. is SavedTM

EPILOGUE

* they like pull a sample from Jerbald and make…something. they call it a vaccine but im pretty damn sure it’s not 😭 it gives?? everyone a “disease” or something that camouflages people from the infected and it makes no sense. u r deadass better off infecting everyone with tuberculosis. maybe cholera would even work idk i just know that infecting everyone remaining human with HIV would be a massive misstep. BETTER YET if physical ailments also deter zombies why not just like. have everyone literally break their own femur or some shit. “EVERYBODY!! BREAK YOUR FUCKING ARMS RN!!! FOR ALL MANKIND!!!”

* jer narrates like theres gonna be a sequel. this movie came out in 2013

* “humanity fights back” and it shows footage of like people using dogs to attack zombies and throwing molotov cocktails and using flamethrowers like ok. shooooorrreeeee and then its revealed that jers fambly was evacuated to an island in nova scotia and hes like THIS ISNT THE EEEND!! BITCHES!!!!

* also they end up giving the rest of humanity a meningitis strain with and i quote “H1N1 and smallpox mixed in” WHAT?? WHAT IS THAT? insane to me, imagine presenting that idea to the UN. like it would fucking matter at that point ig-

FINAL NOTE + 1

* ultimately the book is better. the book isnt particularly “good” but its way better than the movie (as it always seems to be) and ya the only thing? that i can recognize from the book is the whole section of the movie dedicated to fuckin israel. otherwise everything else is made up on the fly. i have no idea why this is considered an adaptation

* wait no just remembered the three seconds of footage of people fighting with medieval weapons. one of my fav bits of the book btw, english peeps waiting out the outbreak in many of the uk’s castle ruins and having to scavenge museums for armor and weapons. those precious 3 seconds…

AND IM DONE! FINALLY

[muwur]

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up” 

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc. 

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧  “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧  “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧  “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today” 

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

[transkeiichi]

an entire episode of law and order svu:

man and woman are in a park theyre fighting. woman yells and walks off. man catches up and shes standing behind a tree and acreams and the camera shows just one bare foot w some blood sticking out from a bush. funky music plays. dick wolf. man and walf walk up to crime acene. another cop is there too and he says something mean. man cop says dont be sexist and lady cop smiles. "who found her?" "they did" some funny remark abt the couple to insinuate they were fucking outdoors. dun dun. girl is sitting cross legged on a couch w some tea. man puts his hand on her knee. "before we found her there was this guy...real creep. super creepy. he was just kind of weird and a creep. he was there and he was creepy. see him on the corner of 15th and central. gray hair always in a turtleneck. giant glasses. purple suit. big yellow shoes and he screams all the time every word he says. cant miss him" they go to the corner and the manis there exactly as described. "you seen this lady?" "no" "well thats not what our witnesses say" dun dun. mans in an interogstion room. different cop this time. he yells at the guy abt government conspiracies. different cop outside the room asks someone else to go in. young cop goes in snd plays dumb. weird creep opens up. "i dont know her, not really, if u wanna know her youre gonna wanna talk to Stacy Marie Susie Smithingstonshire. she works at this bar and the dead girl went all the time. thats where we met but she knew her the best" dun dun. theyre st the bar after closing. girl is wiping down the bar. "im really busy okay? im sorry that happened but it doesnt concern me. i have no concept of relationships and could care less abt the lives of other humans including those i come in contact with every single day. i dont care what happened i need to clean this bar as fast as possible so i can go home and watch jerry springer. i dont know her but Mr Jacobs is her landlord." dun dun. mr jacobs office. "im really busy here it looks bad on me to have cops in my office im very important look st my suit and tie and briefcase. i have a phone call i have to take. you should talk to Maria Gonzalez they carpooled to waterpolo together" dun dun. "yes im maria. oh how terrible! i cant believe this happened. ya know i dont know her all that well but we used to eat at thus wonderful little pub down on 5th and main. they know her" dun dun. at the bar again. bar tender is different now. its a guy and cops share A Look. he says nothing suspicious but they look up his record anyway and bring him in on a parole violation. dun dun. bar tender is in the interogation room. lady cop gives him some coffee and says she knows hes a good person and should confess. he says he doesnt know what shes talking abt. he says hes wearing shoes thay match footprints. hes confused cuz hes barefoot. "exsctly. our perp was barefoot" man breaks down into tears. "it was all a misunderstanding" lady cop sits in her car and thinks aloud about her mom and the state of the universe. this is a work of fiction. dick wolf. dun dun.

[cosmosrival]

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones 

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS. 

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear) 

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand. 

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them. 

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin. 

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy. 

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy. 

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle. 

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more. 

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That. 

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE... 

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them. 

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win 

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!! 

[insertdisc5]

how do you plan/script your comics? (sorry if this has been asked before!)

hi! I kinda talked about how i plan comics here and here, if it helps! But hey you asked and it made me happy so have a longer post.

For Coffee (since it’s my latest big comic i can talk about it in a bit more detail) it started with me just staring blankly into space, trying to find a Cool Idea that was in line with my theme for this comic (”dream team”), and then THIS MOMENT came to me:

(a panel of someone stabbing someone!!! STAB!!!!!)

(a panel of someone looking down at someone else, tired and weary)

(another panel, they look at someone on the ground (alive? dead?)) “I dont think we can keep doing this, XXXX.” 

or, as I wrote it in my rough notes:

which only makes sense to myself, cuz thats MY notes. 

but yeah i saw this moment and i was like ooooOOOOOOOH MAN!!!! DUDE!!!! THATS GOOD SHIT!!!!! WOAH!!!!! YEYYEYAYAYH

I actually intended for this to be the very start of Coffee! you know, kind of a “HOW DID WE GET TO THIS?” prologue. but then it didnt make sense with the story i created so i had to cut it, boo!!!

and then from that I wrote the dialogue! Just little snippets, from that one moment, trying to figure out how we got here- who’s XXXX? who’s stabbing them? why? BETRAYAL? what are they tired of? WHATS GOING ON HERE? LET’S FIND OUT

and then it’s just writing snippets and putting them in some kinda order and also who cares about punctuation or names or anything that might help someone that’s not me figure out what the hell is going on

(keymashes are placeholders) (i did learn how to write scripts once upon a time but i draw comics on my own so who needs a well written script HUH?)

when i write my dialogue i usually have a basic idea of how each panel is gonna look, how many panels, etc, but i dont usually worry about that, this is the DIALOGUE stage DIALOGUE is IMPORTANT!!!!! 

(if i do write down visual cues at this stage theyre still unknown to anyone but me. what does “aaaah” mean visually? BELIEVE ME, I KNOW.)

but adrienne this comic was for a comic jam thing and the constraint was that your comic needed to have a quote from a movie/tv show! oh yeah so i was like “hm if theyre assassins, something from the godfather maybe lmao” and i figured i’d think about it later and!!! while i was writing the dialogue i was like “and then X says ‘you think you can be happy without me or something.... stupid... NO WAY BABY, I’M IT’“ and i was like “THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE???? THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE THERES NO WAY I CAME UP WITH THAT SHIT” and i didnt because it was from Gone Girl. (taps side of my head) dont need to find a quote if ya brain just does it by itself

and then when i have all my dialogue pretty much 90% figured out its FIGURING OUT THE CHARACTER DESIGNS TIME

(nailed it first try) (also didnt figure out the barista’s design cuz this dummy only appears for one and a half panels!!!!! who cares about you barista guy. no one. except Y)

and then its EXCEL TIME

(each line is a panel) (i never fill the status column anymore because i try to draw pages chronologically so... i usually know where im at lmao)

at that stage i have a better idea of what’s on each page, in each panel, and i usually refine the dialogue here as well. this whole thing till now took like three, four hours

also i dont know where to put this but i always try to... kind of foreshadow the end thru expressions... and so i always keep in mind what each character is feeling at every panel! i dont always write it down but i ALWAYS remember. what i mean to say is that the second Y was like “arent you tired of this” X was immediately like “ooooooooooh this binch wants to leave me time to play dumb”

and then it’s thumbnails time

all done on procreate this time because it’s easier/faster/makes my drawings more loose and fun! just the thumbnails though because no text on procreate (AT THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!). just trying out poses and expressions, not really focusing on layout because weh. also at that stage i cut off one page! i had it roughed out but i cut it! right after X goes “lmao you’ll never have a normal life you loser” i IMMEDIATELY had a page with just. X’s dead body. eyes open and all. and it freaked me out!!!! so i removed it lmao that was too jarring even for me and i drew the damn thing. so BUH BYE

this took me. six hours...?

and then actual pages on photoshop!

(not pictured: refs and youtube with some kingdom hearts LPs open on my other screen)

and then drawing all the pages and resizing and exporting to PDF and then i went to bed cuz it was 3am. 

that’s how cha girl plans comics i hope it helped and anyway it’s fine if it didnt because im gonna be honest i love writing about my process. thank you for reading

[spicydadshowdown]

@katieshirogane so here are some ideas for my dumb V-O-L-T-R-O-N AU ive been spit-balling for awhile, in no particular order (these are all subject to change/refinement... also i got a real nasty headache today so this is going to be pretty scatterbrained , sorry!)

So basically this is like…. an magic/modern AU lol…so…. here’s just a few things, more will be added on a later date.

Shiro runs a business that’s like … a rescue, rehabilitation, and relocation center for magic beings; both sentient and non-sentient (they only have room to take in small to medium sized monsters though). They primarily specialize in helping sentient beings who’ve lost their homes do to urbanization/ floods/ whatever and try to help them find new homes. Also on top of sheltering magical beings they also fight some nasty monsters. (Shiro specializes in exorcism, also he has space distortion powers.) 

Shiro’s shelter is like, this small little hole in the wall that used to be a flowershop. Shiro bought it and renovated it. im debating whether or not i should make it into a flower shop or like…. a candy store?? or somethin’….maybe a bakery actually... cuz u know they gotta make money somehow lol. (All the profit they make goes into keeping the shelter up and running. Also i think im gonna role with bakery tbh)

Lance and Hunk made Shiro cute little business cards for both the sanctuary/shelter and the bakery. i havent decided on the designs for them yet… lol… but if u scratch the logo on the cards (the ones for his sanctuary/shelter) a ‘video’ will play of Hunk and Lance being goofs while trying to advertise Shiro’s business…. its a mess.

They have a alien at the sanctuary, it kinda looks like a frog and shes really chubby and feathery and makes the grossest snorting sounds and drools alot, and Lance and Hunk love her alot... even if shes the size of a great dane and crushes them whenever she tries sitting on them. Her favorite person is Lance. She hangs out in the store (shes got a collar that makes her look like a giant mastiff so the costumers dont get spooked)

In the magical business you dont give out your full name to just anyone - giving out your name to certain magical creatures will give them power over you and its easier for them to curse you and well… make your life miserable in general. Especially if you’re human, so whenever someone asks for his name he gives him his nickname: Shiro....obviously,,, (The rest of the gang also follows this rule.)

Keith lives at the shop, he rents out the spare room in the basement Shiro always tells him he doesn’t need to pay him but Keith kind of shoves the money in his face because goddamn Takashi you are way too nice i’m not gonna freeload on you so just take my money.

Hunk works in the back making the pastries (everyone takes turns making the pastries but Hunk does it the most bc he likes doin it ), he tries his best to not get involved with any of Shiros magical guests. He doesnt want anything to with that nonsense bc magical beings are assholes and theyre super dangerous and he just wants to live a relatively normal life thank you very much. He’s also in college, working on getting his bachelors degree in Aerospace engineering - specifically astronautical engineering.

That being said whenever there are children at the shelter Hunk just... HAS to make them smile and tell them everything will be okay, even if they are magical beings and make him a bit nervous.

Hunk and Lance are great with kids, so whenever there’s a family at the shelter and the kids are feeling real down Hunk and Lance always brighten up their days. They teach them how to knit and stuff and play games with them, Hunk teaches them the wonders of science, ect. 

When Lance isnt at the shop/at school he spends his time in the ocean, perusing water dragon caves, talking to fish (mostly sharks), surfing, sometimes goes to underwater parties and hits on merpeople. He can take the form of a tiger shark and a tiger shark merman. (One time after drinking a lil too much he let it slip that he was human and was almost alive eaten by the party-goers.) Lance is in college... though im still not sure what hes studying...

Also one time Keith made a bet with Lance that if he was able to steal some treasure from a water dragons lair - not only would he give Lance one of his cool magical weapons he’d also (metaphorically) kiss his ass for an entire month. So, not only did Lance bring home some Sweet Dragon Gold and gems he also brought home a fucking dragons’ tooth (that he punched out of the dragons mouth. Like, the thing was HUGE - it was half the size of Lance.) Keith....didnt actually think hed do it.... it was a joke....it was a joke.... now Lance will never let him live it down, his life will no longer know peace. 

Keith has a moderate sized collection of magical weapons - most of which he’s won at this underground arena Pidge and him go to once a week (its a secret, not even Shiro knows). Also his specialty is pyromancy... of course....

Pidge specializes in curses (mostly with removing them, but she can make some nasty ones too) and magic involving plants. Also, if u need someone to get u through a tough magical barrier Pidge is ur girl. She’s also in college studying nanotechnology (specifically its application to spacecraft) (and/or robotics..... maybe.... nanorobotics....hmmm)

She’s always putting hexes on Keith and playing mean pranks on him like:

making a entire forest grow in his room, bonus swarm of locusts hidden underneath his blanket and inside his pillow.

making everything in his entire room rubbery and doughy, like your walking on goddamn playdough and everything he touches? Playdough.

Hiding giant basketball sized spiders in his closet, double bonus: have the spiders come out of the walls in fucking droves.

Bewitching him with an incorrigible appetite for peanut butter and peanut butter cookies... u name it

He does get back at Pidge though, ruthlessly. They actually have prank wars all the time. 

Im still trying to work out the relationship dynamics with the characters... all i know is that Pidge and Keith have.... uh, ,,,, a very physical relationship.......like, they’re not dating or anything, they just hook up ...alot.... MY AU MY RULES.

sooooo thats all i got for now bc im running out of steam fast...so ye... (Oh and also The Holts will be present in this au...still gotta work it out lol)

[samanthasroberts]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/

[adambstingus]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163070503847

[allofbeercom]

34 Men Discuss Society’s Insane Double Standards That Favor Women And Hurt Men

Found on AskReddit.

1. If women sexually harass us, its seen as amusing rather than rapey.

One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk, incredibly skanky woman started fucking grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing her gross vag all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate. While this was happening, I thought If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door headfirst. Instead, people just laughed.

2. If you go anywhere in public with little kids, youre seen as a predator pedo.

Im a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6-year-old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3-year-old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying, I’m gonna get ya! in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3-year-old cousin, takes the 6-year-old, and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator pedo.

3. If you and a girl both get drunk and have sex, only one can be accused of rape.

There was the anti-rape poster I saw a while back, where two teens get drunk and hook up. The dude gets busted for rape since she couldn’t give consent. The poster mentions nothing about it being the other way around, as in the girl getting busted for rape since he couldn’t give consent. The poster completely disregards the dude as a possible victim. It even goes as far as shaming the dude saying he ruined his life. Made me sick. All it did was promote male victims to want to hide even more.

4. Men are always the dumb ones on TV.

That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as the stupid, out-of-touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TVS FAULT.

5. Women dont get blamed for dumping a man; when a man dumps a woman, hes afraid of commitment.

When a woman leaves a relationship she is praised for pursuing her needs, but when man leaves a relationship he is criticized for not being able to commit.

6. Female bisexuality is accepted. Male bisexuals? Theyre just gay.

How female bisexuality is more accepted and acknowledgedsometimes even encouragedthan male bisexuality.

7. Male genital mutilationtotally legal in every country.

Female genital mutilation: Totally illegal in most countries. Male genital mutilation: Totally legal in country.

8. If a woman gets angry at a man, its his fault.

Man gets angry at a woman, he needs to control himself. Woman gets angry at a man, man needs to learn not to make her angry.

9. Our society doesnt believe that women can sexually abuse boys.

It’s probably way too late for this to get any attention but I am a male victim of sexual abuse.

I was first sexually abused when I was four years old. It was swept under the rug because the 25-year-old that did it to me was going through some things and didn’t know any better.

Fast-forward to when I’m 9 and I was sexually abused every Friday for over a year and a half. I was told by my abuser that if I let anyone know, it would be my fault and I would get in trouble. One day I finally told, just wanting it to end even if I got in trouble. What happened? Both me (9) and my female abuser (23) were given a stern talking to. That was it. She went on to live her life. I never saw her again.

Every Friday I was locked in a room and bound. I would be left in the dark while I would have her perform oral (attempted since I was 9 and unable of getting an erection). She would pump me full of fluids and when I had to go to the bathroom she’d have me pee on her. At times she would pee into a cup and try to force me to drink it. If I was being more cooperative than usual she would untie my hands and have me touch her. At the end of every, I dunno what to call itsession?she would tell me that if I told anyone I would be taken from my parents. Even if they didn’t take me from my parents her dad who was a bad man would kill my mom and my sisters.

That is until I was 15 and made a Facebook. She found me on there and would leave comments like look who grew up sexy and stuff like that. I reached out to the adults in my life and they told me to ignore it, which I did. But they told me I was a guy and I could handle it. It’s not something that keeps me awake at night. But in order to get over it I had to harden myself because I’m a guy and guys can’t get raped.

On a previous reddit account I went to open up on a victims of sexual abuse page. I wrote out a multi-page post just getting it out there. The only replies I got were about how I was a guy and I didn’t know what it was like to be violated as a woman. I was harassed for weeks by women on there for trying to compare my experience to theirs.

10. Women can beat us up all they want, but if we hit back, were monsters.

I’m a big guy, I shave my head and grow a beard, most people think I’m intimidating.

Truly I’m timid at heart, I know how to box but have always found a way around confrontation.

I had a girlfriend that got crazy violent when she was mad, knives, tazers, guns, frequently got involved. I hit her a lot in self defense (we were together for 3 years it definitely played into my low self esteem, i loved to hate it) and it completely ruined my psyche. I think of myself as a woman beater, as a misogynist now just knowing that I’m capable of it.

Just the idea that I can hit a woman has driven me to some of my darkest depths and even now typing it I dont feel justified in my actions despite the fact I was protecting my own life.

One night she came at me with a tazer from behind she started it early and I had enough time to move, she tripped and stunned herself, screaming in pain, bruised her forehead hitting it against the floor. Neighbors heard and called the cops and she gave a false statement. Of course looking the way I do it didn’t matter what I said, I spent a night in holding before she dropped the charges and got me out. I guess I’m just thankful she “loved” me enough not to let me get charged with that shit.

It’s made me scared about new relationships because I’m afraid someone can just tell a cop whatever they want and I’ll get fucked.

Shit this will probably get buried but it was nice to say it. edit: this post blew up r.i.p. my inbox. appreciate all the support and kind words. pm me if you want to talk peeps.

11. Stay-at-home dads are lazy losers; stay-at-home moms are empowered heroes.

I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the Why doesn’t he have a job and He’s a deadbeat dad routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.

TLDR; Man stays home raises child = Lazy, Woman stays home raises child = Hardworking Hero.

12. If youre a male nurse, people think its because you couldnt become a doctor.

When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?

13. If a girl sexually assaults you, youre supposed to enjoy it.

I was sexually assaulted by a girl when I was plastered once and kept saying no I don’t want this. Woke up feeling violated and insanely uncomfortable yet when I told people they all told me to suck it up and I should’ve enjoyed getting some action.

14. There are huge gender disparities in criminal sentencing.

That women who have sex with underage boys aren’t given the same sentences as men who do the same with underage girls.

15. If men show feelings, theyre seen as pussies.

I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of pussy and if a chick does it’s normal. We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.

16. Guys are still expected to be the breadwinner.

I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the breadwinners and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being househusbands, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.

17. If a man who murdered a woman spoke at a Mens March, itd be national news.

There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.

Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60-year-old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.

I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.

18. Women are allowed to reject guys based on their looks without being seen as shallow.

When I turn down chubby women I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it just her preference.

19. If a man cheats, hes an asshole; if a woman does, its the mans fault.

I hate the TV portrayal that if a man cheats its cause hes an asshole and heartless but if a women does its scandalous and its cause her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.

20. Despite what Hillary Clinton said, men are the primary victims of war.

That men for some reason have to be soldiers in some countries while woman only .

21. Divorce laws are lopsidedly in favor of women.

Divorce law.

Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.

The idea that a divorced woman has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.

22. Sex toys for girlsnormal. Sex toys for guysweird loser.

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert?

23. A guy who plays video games for hours has a problem; a woman who watches Netflix all night doesnt.

When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem. When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem. Edit: I agree this is not a gender thing. Sorry about answering the question wrong. There is a double standard with gaming/television watching though.

24. Men are expected to just sit back and let women hit them. If they complain, theyre a pussy; if they hit back, theyre a monster.

Domestic Violence. I just got out of an abusive relationship two weeks ago and I’m shocked at how hard it was for me to talk about it and get taken seriously with my peers. She was so mean and I’m the exact opposite these days. Only today have I felt validated for everything when I happened upon a counselor on another thread. I feel terrible about myself still and apparently that’s normal. I’m 6’4″ and a professional bouncer/bodyguard but let me tell you. Men can be abused just as easily as women. It was so bad I’m spending my lunch break here and trying to find a support group. The abuse was mental and very physical. Because I’m a large man though no one would take me seriously. It was always my fault, always me to blame. The preconceived general thought is that men are tough and can handle it. If not then I’m made to feel emasculated and told I’m a pussy. The truth is I just don’t believe in harming people I care about. I’m ranting now because I still can’t really talk about it to anyone. It’s a sad and shitty double standard. No one should have to deal with abuse.

25. Part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

That part of being a man is being disposable and no one giving a fuck if your life ends up ruined.

We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss.

What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.

We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men dobut we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.

26. When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke.

When a woman is raped its a tragedy; when a man is raped its a joke. When a woman falsely reports a rape, it ruins the man’s life, she gets off scot-free or a tiny jail term.

27. Men who take selfies are much more likely to be accused of narcissism.

I have to say that the standard of what is acceptable on social media. If a female Instagram profile is full of 400 attractive selfies, people are not as critical of the narcissistic side of the pictures as much as they would if it were a guy. Not that I would want to post 400 selfies, but constantly posting pictures of yourself in specific poses isn’t a form of modeling or self-love as much as it is an expression of narcissism.

28. Theres no demand for plus size male models.

How we apparently need plus sized models to represent all women’s body types, but the thought of having male models with beer bellies and no rippling muscles/6 packs is disgusting.

29. Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men.

Women who can’t pay child support go to special homes. Men who can’t pay child support go to prison.

Women get shorter sentences for the same crimes as men, such as murder, rape, theft, or simple misdemeanors. Sometimes they aren’t punished at all

If a drunk male and a drunk female have sex, the female could charge for rape since she could not consent even though both parties voluntarily intoxicated themselves. This isn’t a common problem but it happens more than it needs to

Female requirements for the military, police, and fire responders are easier. During basic training in the army I saw a dude carrying 2 rucksacks (google it) and a girl walking behind him with nothing on her back.

Male rape victims are ignored or taken less seriously

Sexual harassment in the workspace happens to men and to women, men are just less likely to report it since they’re taken less seriously.

There are female quotas for CEO jobs, which inadvertently puts more qualified men out of a job in the name of gender equality.

Men pay higher auto premiums.

Women in divorce courts are more likely to win custody.

Men who want to teach young children are weird creepy pedophiles.

30. Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

Its not OK to think a girl is too fat, but its OK for her to think guys are too short.

31. If a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine.

That if a guy cries or shows any emotion whatsoever, he’s weak or not masculine. Fuck that. Guys are humans, not robots. They should be as expressive with their feelings as they want with whoever they want. I’d argue that trying to repress your own vulnerabilities is the real weakness.

32. Women who make rape accusations are automatically believed, even if theyre lying.

I fucking hate it that a woman can accuse a man of rape, and everyone’s on her side without a doubt, even if she’s lying. Flip it around, and the first thing the guy gets thrown in his face is probably something like You’re supposed to enjoy it, or You let a woman take control of you? That’s more scarring to the man than it is to the womanat least people take the woman’s word for it.

33. On a sinking ship, its women and children first.

The biggest double standard to me is ‘saving the women and children first.’ Why does a man’s life suddenly have less value in these sorts of situations?

34. Pro-choice? Men have absolutely no choice in the matter.

If an unmarried couple becomes pregnant the woman has 100% of the choice to keep the baby or have an abortion. If the man wants the baby and the woman doesn’t the man is out of luck. If the man doesn’t want the baby and the woman does the man is on the hook for 18 years of child support. Controversial I know, but I’d like to hear thoughts.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/34-men-discuss-societys-insane-double-standards-that-favor-women-and-hurt-men/