#theyre both boyfailures actually

[vhsstank]

This is blitzbee right

[charrators]

rotating fnaf au in my mind instead of trying to incorporate all of the lore into my timeline. world is so beautiful 💖

[kindred-spirit-93]

CRACK CONCEPT

boyfailure odysseus as opposed to the inherently sharp wolfish (hes still snarky and clever imma give him that) king boi bc telemachus has to get it from somewhere and it aint penelope lol

i really love the idea of a people & street smart ody getting adopted by athena and becoming book & war smart as well u feel me. but this isnt what im talking about here. i want him pathetic and snivelling on his knees. idk its funny okay

just imagine he comes home after troy and he bonds with tele and theyre both idiots (penelopes idiots) ody is making up for 10 years away from home and is goofy with his son and pretends to faint everytime penelope walks by bc shes just sp stunning and awesome and actually faints when he realises hes legit married to her. i now realise this doesnt entirely fit the category of boyfailure lol but it do. TO ME

inspired by napolean dynamites award winning dance. i watched it and was like 💡 odysseus of ithaca. imagine him just doing that as a mating dance to penelope (owlthena can i get an amen) esp him running off without a word arms awkwardly by his side DO YALL SEE THE VISION

ofc they all have family idiot sessions where athena holds the braincell and they all roll down hills and frolic in the fields but for the most part penny holds le braincells bc ody is too busy teaching tele something entirely useless (and possibly illegal) bc its very funny (think of the scene where mater and mcqueen get the cows to fall back lol)

AM I MAKING ANY SENSE?

[kibblemode]

ok so basicalyyyy

(included voiceclaims too bc its fun)

S1 involves crypt (vc david bowie) and ophelia (vc undecided atm) - ophelias arc is really quick bc i need s1 to focus more on the main villains i think. anyway the protags get lost in the woods for some reason and ophelia offers to lead them back to town but actually shes luring them deeper into the forest to her cabin so she can murder them and feed them to crypt. crypt Was her pet when she 1st found them after her parents died, but as they both grew up it turns out theyre actually fully intelligent. they make her kill people to keep them fed along with verbally and mentally abusing her and sometimes they get physically abusive too, and they often threaten to kill her if she doesnt feed them. obviously living with this for years affects her sanity, she ends up enjoying mutilating ppl as a kind of way to survive and eventually becomes more of a sadist. so anyway its obvious from the moment the protags meet her that Somethings not right just based on how erratically she acts, and they kinda sus her out pretty quick. she panics and attacks them but fails to kill them, which crypt is angry about and forces her off to the side to kill them themself. crypt dies obviously, idk how yet, maybe lenarr does it with his powers idfk. obviously ophelia is Devastated, but also relieved secretly. it takes her awhile to get over crypts death but after she does she thanks the protags and fucks off to live in her cabin peacefully lol

S2 involves noodle (vc david cross) and grem (vc 2mello), who is actually one of the main villains but hes important here i prommy - SO THIS ONES A BIGGER ONE bc i have room to do so now that the plot and characters are mostly Established. so a bit of backstory required on this one since noodle is a pre-established side character. noodle has been working at the royal familys castle since he was around 15, a lot like most of the other castle staff. unfortunately hes the one whos given the most odd/shitty jobs just by sheer coincidence, but hes convinced its because tix hates him for some reason. this isnt exactly helped by tixs spoiled rich kid personality he had when he was younger and just his general shittiness as a person (intentional or otherwise), and also indie (being tixs advisor and technically noodles 2nd boss despite being younger than him) is naturally bossy and blunt which made it worse too. so noodle is Already fed up with tix constantly antagonizing him (indie he doesnt actually care about as much because hes close friends with her boyfriend), that combined with how absolutely Nothing his personal life is, he just kinda Has it one day and decides hes going to do something awful to tix. so for context, grem is tixs ex, noodle knows he exists but doesnt actually Know him. he steals tixs old demonomicon from when they were still together and summons grem using his own blood. grem would Never miss an opportunity to torment tix at this point in the show bc he Also hates him. grem offers noodle a contract and he accepts without reading too much into it. grem basically implants a living embodiment of pure demon magic into noodles open wound (thats how he gets his snake tattoo btw) and it gives him magical powers Permanently. since noodle is my boyfailure hes very bad at using them but eventually Does get the hang of it, and plans to destroy tixs home and anyone that tries to stop him from doing so. NOW. ANOTHER bit of context. noodle was tixs go to babysitter for tiabi (tixs daughter) and noodle genuinely likes and cares for her very much. that being said, tiabi basically has to console this grown ass man whos having a major power trip rn bc shes the only one he wouldnt Ever harm in any way. this is undecided but im thinking maybe grem gets frustrated and maybe posesses noodle or something similar. hence noodles redemption episode being titled "exorcism" but idrk

S3 involves eugene (vc dana snyder) - so after the events of s2 i figured itd be good to have a silly, only semi-serious villain lol. this one was fairly recently given a MAJORRRR revision, eugene is my bffs (@/killer12345blog) oc that he made as a joke but i got attached to him lol. anyway eugene is a master shapeshifter that takes on a bastardization of tixs form to frame him for a wide variety of terrible crimes in ordsr to ruin his reputation. the reason he does this is to get tix out of the pucture so he can replace him and take over his life. he was successful in "replacing" other ppl in the past so this time he goes for tix, who is technically a very important political figure (hes a prince). while most of eugenes more sinister stuff goes on behind the scenes without it being revealed that he was the one doing it the Whole time, he pretends to be an ally to the main protags, hes actually naturally charming and his personality makes him very likeable. what hes ACTUALLY doing is cozying up to tixs friends to try to make them prefer him while furthing the evidence that tix is responsible for all eugenes crimes he did. its actually presented in a way that makes the person watching Also suspect tix. so eventually zach and lenarr realize theres some differences in how eugenetix acts vs how tix Actually acts, and start to believe it wasnt actually tix doing it. eugene gets mad as hell and goes mask off villain mode when lenarr and zach dont choose him over tix, and by that point its obvious what eugene was doing the entire time. so he attacks the protags, and since hes using tixs species as a base for the forms hes taking atm that means they cant kill him as easily bc he would only be killed by the same things that can hurt tix. This part i havent Fully gotten to just yet but they do come up with a convoluted home alone ass plan to lure eugene into a trap and kill him to DEATH (me and art agreed. even tho eugene actually dies for real im still using him as a bg character bc itd be funny)

S4 involves moff (vc uhhh. idk. who tf voices spinel from su) SO THIS ONES GONNA BE SHORT. its underdeveloped and s4 has a Lot of important shit happening w the main characters so itll be hard to fit in. a lot like s1 lol. anyway moff is an aspiring writer and is heavily invested in fandom culture and stuff lol. hes unhappy with how the writing of the show is done and wants to change it (dumb as fuck 4th wall break i know but who gaf) obviously this freaks the other characters the fuck out and they think hes crazy. BUT moff is the proud owner of a magic journal or something that he can write something in and it happens. this ones more lighthearted too, he doesnt do anything toooo awful with it its just weird and the other characters hate it so they try to stop him. this is very very hard bc of moffs journal, but they Are successful and his journal gets set on fire to get rid of it forever lol

[butcharyastark]

started black sails, mostly through s1. thoughts so far:

i LOVEEE characters who are definitely morally terrible and you know it and they know it and the narrative knows it but theyre fascinating to watch. im talking abt flint. that man sucks so bad but i love watching his scenes and dynamics.

that ^ would apply to miss guthrie (i forgot her first name) too but i hate her too much for that. consistently wish she was off my screen xoxo

oh my god im so glad the fucking beach camp plot with max is overrrrr. i already zoomed on her as a fave and ik from others she has great plots or characterization or themes later and im v excited for that and im very glad this bs is over

BILLYYYYYY NOOO what the fuck is going on he cant be dead yet can he??? also maybe im misreading but both billy and morley (?i think. i dont have everyones names yet lol) both dying technically offscreen in accidents while isolated with flint after its known they have reservations abt his leadership.... flint did you fucking do this....

honestly i dont give a shit abt mrs barlow or whatev i forgot her name but unexpectedly the priest seduction sideplot is kinda fun and hot. idk why.

i did not expect this to be a sorta game of thrones spartacus vikings etc type tv show but i am kinda vibing actually surprisingly.

I LOVE WHEN SHOWS LET THEIR CHARACTERS AND ACTORS HAVE ACCENTS.

i like that one dude (??? guy with weird sideburns) and anne bonny's whole Thing but i'd like both of them a helluva lot more if 1) he had had ANY reservations or morals abt the whole max situation and 2) if anne bonny had not immediately spurned max after getting her freedom bc hi what the fuck shes been thru enough what is ur fucking damage??? i thought u cared ???

i thought silver would have way more of role so far tbh i thought he'd be like the ProtagTM but so far hes kinda not passing the sexy lamp test. boyfailure? legend? idk but its funny and surprising

i want vain or vane or whatever the fuck his name is to die in a fire. unfortunately hes also kinda interesting onscreen. but i hope he dies brutally later heart emoji

wanna know where the mr. scott plot is gonna go... i thought his convo w the kidnapped woman in the ship hold was v interesting and ik from other ppl this show somewhat goes into discussion of the transatlantic slave trade (some handled badly and some well afaik?) and im curious if shes gonna be a recurring character now or if hes gonna be a pirate bc i assume he cant go back to nassau so like whats going on now??

veryyyy curious abt how this show is gonna end its seasons and do season finales.... i hope theres drama. may update this post w my thoughts after i finish s1 in fact

uhhh OH THE OST FUCKS SEVERELY and the intro (maybe just s1 intro idk if theyre gonna change it) is soooo fuckin cool.

salute emoji

[theproblemcallednight]

night. DOES HE WANT TO BE CAUGHT??

he gets so disappointed when people tell him hes delirious when he keeps trying to own up to the murder without actually saying it.

EVEN WHEN HE DOES SAY IT he gets so disappointed

hes such a boyfailure i love him sm

hes going on the favorites list, him and razumihkin theyre both so stupid <3

lmao he is the biggest loser to ever lose

he’s like “well the murderer must’ve been very clever” and raz is like “nah it was that painter dude shush and go to bed”

dunno where your at so i wont spoil but you might wanna put sonia up on that list. they’re all stupid and delusional together. insane little babies