#theyre barely visible here but

[weirdmageddon]

HER RIGHT ARM IS LITERALLT ON HIS HEART IT’S ACTUALLY SICK. NOT A BIT OF AIR BETWEEN THEM

[thelov3lybookworm]

when you become grateful for your parents>>>>>>

[icewindandboringhorror]

more photo diary posts.. various life images...

[earlysunshines]

oh say it ditto

danielle marsh x fem!reader

synopsis: you have to help out at the elementary school for service hours and of course you’re paired with true girl you’ve literally been in love with since middle school.

warnings: literally none. just fluff. so cute. they're so cute. i need to be put behind bars for this. it's so... cute. what. ; loser!!!!!!yn i fear ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread ; i'm so giddy. they're so cute. i hate couples. i cnat breathe theyre so gay and in love.

a/n: I MISSED WRITING FOR MO DANI UGGHHHH MO DANIIII!!!!!

danielle marsh is perfect. she’s smart, kind, and easily the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen. people always say she’s too good to be true, like a disney princess pulled right out of a movie, the kind of person who seems flawless in every way.

but to you? that description feels like an understatement—an understatement times ten.

there is not a single metaphor that could ever capture the way her presence lights up a room, or the way her smile—bright and contagious—makes your heart do flips. she’s beyond comparison, beyond words. you’ve known her since middle school, and in all that time despite barely having time with her, the feeling has only grown. she’s the type of person that’s just barely out of reach, so you’ve learned to cope with it.

which is exactly why, when your teacher had pulled you two aside after class, announcing that you’d be paired with her for your volunteer hours at the local elementary school, your stomach practically dropped to your shoes. she’s the type of person that’s just barely out of reach, so you’ve learned to cope with it. but now? she’s just within reach. 

“some others filled out the form, but i only needed the two of you since it’s for a smaller group.” mr. jeong explained. “and you two are the perfect candidates. thank you for your interest in this, my wife is really glad that we’re able to send the two of you over to help out—she works at the school.”

you clutch the strap of your bag a little tighter, trying to stay visibly and mentally composed. danielle is beside you smiling at your physics teacher, and then you catch her smiling at you from the corner of your eye. turning a bit, you shoot a small grin, then excuse yourself out.

just your luck, but maybe you’ll survive. this could turn out great for you!

as you walk down the hall, you feel someone tap on your shoulder. turning around, it’s her. 

danielle is behind you smiling. “see you monday!” she says with that honeyed voice of hers.

knowing yourself, maybe it won’t turn out so great. you might be doomed considering how much of a loser you are compared to miss sunshine.

—

you arrive at the elementary school the following monday, heart pounding as you push open the heavy doors to the small classroom where the after-school program is being held. a group of kids are already gathered, some working on crafts, others running around, their laughter filling the air. but none of it matters because standing near the teacher's desk, helping a kid tie their shoe, is danielle.

she looks up just as you step in, her eyes lighting up with recognition. "hey! looks like we’re partners in crime for the next few weeks," she says with a smile so genuine it makes you dizzy. “i’m glad you’re here.”

you force a grin, trying to play it cool. "yeah. um, and likewise.”

the teacher quickly assigns you both to work with a small group of students on some arts and crafts. you watch as danielle sits down with the kids, her voice soft and encouraging as she helps them cut out construction paper shapes. you, meanwhile, sit on the opposite side of the table, trying not to focus too much on the fact that you're mere feet away from the girl who’s had your heart for as long as you can remember.

as the session goes on, you find yourself slowly relaxing. the kids are lively and fun, and danielle's easygoing nature makes everything feel less intimidating (though the only thing that really made everything seem like that was her). she’s chatting with the students, laughing when they show her their goofy creations, and every now and then, she glances your way, offering you a smile that makes your heart skip a beat.

"how are you so good with them?" you ask her while cleaning up the table, genuinely curious.

danielle shrugs, her eyes twinkling. "i don’t know, i’m just fond of kids. they’re honest, you know? and they don’t care if you mess up or say the wrong thing."

you smiled, nodding, but her words hit closer to home than she realized. if only you could believe that—if only you could let yourself stop overthinking everything when it came to her.

“like you could ever do that,” you mutter under your breath. danielle catches it, but doesn’t comment on it. “i guess you’re right. i didn’t think of it that way.” you say at a normal volume, and danielle doesn’t have a hard time catching that.

as the afternoon starts to wind down, one of the kids tugs on your sleeve, showing you his glitter-covered drawing of what appears to be a dinosaur. "do you like it?" he ask, his eyes wide with anticipation.

you glance at danielle, who’s watching you with a curious expression, and suddenly, it feels like this moment matters more than anything. you take the drawing, smile at the kid, and say, "i think it’s awesome."

out of the corner of your eye, you catch danielle beaming at you, and for a second, it feels like maybe—just maybe—this whole thing won’t be as hard as you thought.

–

as the kids rushed out of the room, their laughter echoing down the hallways, you found yourself lingering behind, picking up scraps of paper and wiping glitter off the tables. danielle was still there too, helping the teacher gather leftover supplies. the room felt quieter now, just the two of you in the aftermath of the chaos, and for a moment, you both moved in comfortable silence, the air between you lighter than it had been earlier.

"it’s been a while, huh?" danielle said softly, her voice breaking the quiet as she stacked a few cups of markers on the shelf. you glanced over at her, heart suddenly racing again, because it was true—you hadn’t really spoken to her much since middle school, despite always being around. besides, she had been taking different courses than you, so there weren’t many shared classes. even if their were, you two had your respective groups, and danielle was quite popular compared to you, so you stayed out the picture while admiring from afar.

"yeah," you nodded, tossing some crumpled-up paper into the trash bin, smiling when you make it. "guess we’ve both been pretty busy."

she smiled, that same soft, almost shy smile that always made your chest tighten. "swim has been taking up your time, huh?”

“oh, yeah, haha.”

“i’ve seen you around at your practices, you’re really good!”

“y-you have?” your eyes widen with surprise, gaze staying on her as she throws something away. 

“my friend hyein is on the team, you know her?”

“ah,” the underclassmen that tried to drown you (in a playful way, because that’s playful to hyein. allegedly so). “yeah.” you giggle thinking about your swimmate. “she’s very… fun.”

“she’s always up to something.” danielle giggles.

quiet fills the air as you two continue cleaning. danielle is stacking chairs, and you’re lifting each stack over to the edge of the classroom. neither of you say anything for a while, mindful of the other in a semi-awkward silence as you help the janitors out. 

danielle breaks the silence again.

“i didn’t realize how much i missed seeing you around until today," she admits, her words gentle but carrying more weight than you expected. she’s looking at you, standing maybe ten tiles away and her eyes are stuck on yours. you feel like you’re being mushed into the ground.

you blinked, caught off guard by her honesty, and suddenly, you weren’t sure how to respond. so you just smiled back, hoping it didn’t look too awkward. "yeah… same here, actually."

the silence stretched once again as you both continued cleaning up, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable. it felt like something was shifting between you two, the years of distance slowly fading away, replaced by an old familiarity that had never really gone away.

once most of the mess was cleaned up, you found yourselves standing near the door, neither of you in any real hurry to leave. danielle looked down at her phone for a moment, then back up at you. "hey, do you drive?" she asked, her voice a little hesitant.

you nodded. "yeah, i do. why?"

"i was thinking... we should probably carpool for this," she said, motioning to the classroom. "since we’re both gonna be volunteering here for the next few weeks, might as well make it easier on ourselves, right?"

the idea of seeing her more often, spending more time together, made your heart skip a beat. "yeah, that sounds like a good plan," you agreed, trying to sound casual. "i can pick you up if you want?"

her eyes brightened at that, and for a moment, you could swear there was a bit of relief in her expression. "that’d be great."

you pulled out your phone, opening up your contacts, and as you handed it over to her, your fingers brushed hers. it was a small, brief touch, but goosebumps were poking at the inside of your shirt after. even the hairs on your arm started to stand noticeably. danielle didn’t seem to notice—or maybe she did—but either way, she calmly typed in her number and handed the phone back to you with a smile.

"there," she said, her voice light. "now you have no excuse not to keep in touch."

you laughed, feeling your heart swell. "no excuses," you promised, and as you both left the classroom together, you couldn’t help but feel like something had shifted between you two—the connection that had always been there but was finally starting to come into focus.

—

swim practice took up most of your days, which you didn’t mind. most of your friends were on the team anyway, so it just gave you an excuse to hang out when you weren’t practicing for your respective races.

it always went like this: ten minutes of warmups—light stretches and a couple of easy laps to get your muscles moving. then came fifteen minutes of drills, laps back and forth with barely any rest in between, focusing on your form, speed, and turns. the coach would shout instructions from the edge of the pool, calling out corrections or praise when you hit the perfect stroke. after that, you’d usually break into smaller groups, each focusing on different parts of the race. whether it was freestyle, butterfly, or backstroke, you’d put everything into perfecting your technique—freestyle was your forte—until your muscles burned and your lungs screamed for air.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, practice would wrap up with a cooldown: slow laps, easy strokes, and a few more stretches. additionally, there would be playful banter, and hyein would always find a way to bother you since she was also focused on freestyle. you two were inevitably always together, she was like the younger relative that would pester you any chance you got. 

your body always felt heavy afterward, but in a good way. exhausted and accomplished.

you were dripping wet as you pulled yourself out of the pool, every step feeling heavier than the last. practice might’ve ended, but the exhaustion clung to you as you made your way to the locker room, the sound of splashing water and your teammates’ chatter filling the space around you.

you changed quickly, glad to get out of your damp swimsuit, and ran a towel through your hair as best you could. it was still dripping slightly when you finally stepped out of the locker room, feeling refreshed but undeniably drained.

and then you saw her.

danielle stood just outside the entrance, her presence so unexpected that you almost stumbled in surprise. you should be used to this, maybe, considering you saw her yesterday. your heart jumped to your throat, tiredness vanishing in an instant. she was leaning casually against the wall, scrolling through her phone, but when she noticed you, her eyes lit up, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"hey!" she called out, pushing off the wall and stepping closer. "fancy seeing you here." she says sarcastically.

your heart was pounding, suddenly hyper-aware of the way your hair was probably sticking out at odd angles, still damp and messy. "h-hi," you stammered, mentally kicking yourself for sounding so awkward. "what—what are you doing here?"

danielle tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, looking a little sheepish. "i’m actually waiting for hyein.." she glanced away, then back at you with a small, hesitant smile. "but, um, i wanted to see you too. just to say hi."

your heart practically stopped at that. she wanted to see you. you felt your cheeks start to burn, or maybe they were always a little warm, you took a hot shower earlier and that would make a lot of sense, but also danielle is—

you scramble to find something—anything—to say that wouldn’t make you seem like a complete idiot. "oh, uh, really? that’s… nice. i mean, it’s great. i—it’s good to see you, too. again. we saw each other yesterday."

“why yes, we did.” danielle laughed softly, her eyes crinkling in that way that always made your stomach flip. "you’re cute— and funny."

you blinked, completely caught off guard. your brain was short-circuiting. did she really just say that? were you more cute or funny? was the cute just thrown in there? you think for a bit, you make people laugh easily and— you need to stop thinking.

"oh, um, thank you? you too." you respond. she laughs again, shaking her head.

"i’m just teasing," she said, though there was something almost… nervous in her gaze as she looked at you. like she wasn’t sure if she’d overstepped. "but really, it’s nice running into you like this. you look different to how you did yesterday." 

you glanced down at yourself, still dressed in loose sweats and hoodie, hair a mess. "different good or…?"

"definitely good," she confirmed, her smile widening. "you look… relaxed. it suits you."

relaxed, right. you can’t help but chuckle.

before you could come up with a response that didn’t sound completely ridiculous, someone called your name. you turned to see wonbin waving at you from the other end of the hall where the boys locker room is, sohee trailing behind him. it "hey! you done?" he asked, his voice carrying over the distance.

you blinked, glancing back at danielle, and she gave you a small, understanding nod. "you should go," she murmured softly. "don’t want to keep your friends waiting."

"yeah, um, i guess i’ll see you next week" you hate how reluctant you sound.

danielle’s smile softened, something almost wistful in her eyes. "yeah, can’t wait to get glitter all over my hands again." she says jokingly. she waved as you turn to join wonbin and sohee, her gaze lingering on you a moment longer. "bye, y/n!"

"bye," you called back, lifting a hand in a half-wave.

you turned away, walking towards your friends, but couldn’t resist glancing over your shoulder one last time. danielle was still standing there, watching you leave, and when she caught you looking, she flashed you another quick grin, eyes crinkling and teeth showing. your heart did a flip against your chest.

wonbin nudged your shoulder as you reached them, smirking knowingly. "danielle marsh?" he questioned as if it weren’t the obvious, drawing her name out teasingly. "what’s up with that?"

"nothing is up. get your head out the gutter," you muttered, shoving him lightly, but you couldn’t stop the grin that tugged at your lips. "we were just talking."

sohee snorted. "right. just talking. sure."

“we literally had a brief conversation, i hope you guys inhale water.”

they both laughed as you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through your chest. even as you headed out with them, thoughts of buying a sandwich swirling around, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between you and danielle—that maybe, just maybe, your friendship was returning with ease.

—

the next week you’re with danielle again. this time she’s heading towards your car, getting in your car, sitting in the passengers seat in your car, and clicking her seatbelt in next to you.

“hey.” she greets, smiling.

“hi.” you respond nervously. you check the time, you’re very early but you’re not sure if you can even drive properly with the prettiest girl in the school next to you. “ready to go?”

“yup!”

“okay!” you respond with the same energy, making her giggle. you just made danielle marsh giggle. 

accompanied by you is the sound of music playing in the middle of the silence—a little too loudly—before you glance at her nervously. you apologize, but she shakes her head in your peripheral, putting her hand on the side of your upper arm as she does so. you clench your jaw, forcing a smile as you turn the corner.

she puts a hand over her stomach. “hey, can we stop by and grab a snack? there’s a little convenience store on the way there i always pass by.”

“yeah, of course.” 

you pull into the small convenience store’s parking lot, your heart still racing from the brief moment earlier when danielle had laughed at your overly energetic response. you had to focus on driving, but her presence beside you was making it impossible to think straight.

(you’re not that good at doing anything… straight….)

“i’ll be quick,” she says with a smile, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the car.

“who said i’m not coming with?” you reply, “i’m not just gonna let you in by yourself.”

“wow,” she smirks, “what a gentle-lady.”

you follow her inside, letting her lead the way. it’s a cozy little store, shelves stocked with snacks, drinks, and everything in between. danielle heads straight to the snacks aisle while you find yourself wandering toward the drinks, hoping to calm your nerves. you scan the selection, pretending to be interested in a row of teas when you feel a sudden gaze on you.

turning slightly, you catch danielle staring at you from across the aisle. her eyes are soft, almost thoughtful, as if she’s studying every little movement you make. your heart skips a beat, and for a moment, you freeze, unsure of what to do with yourself.

“uh—” you clear your throat, lifting a tea bottle. “this one any good?”

danielle blinks, snapping out of her thoughts, a shy smile spreading across her face. “oh, yeah! it’s really good. you should try it.”

you nod, trying to play it cool as you glance at the label, but you can still feel her gaze lingering on you. there’s something electric in the air between you two—unspoken, but undeniably there—something that wasn’t there before. 

—

the second time you and danielle help out at the elementary school, the day is warmer, and the kids are outside, running around with boundless energy. you’re supervising the chaos, but also playing along with the kids—throwing a frisbee, helping them climb the jungle gym, and laughing as they chase after you.

danielle stands nearby, watching with an amused smile. it’s been a short amount of time since the last time you volunteered together, and she realizes how much she’s missed your presence. she’s always known you were sweet, but seeing you like this—so good with the kids, laughing and having fun, so personally and naturally—makes something inside her chest tighten.

it had been a while since she’d last seen you, not including the first volunteer hours, but just in general since middle school. sure, you had that one class freshman year, and gym during sophomore year, but that wasn’t really much.

between your current classes and different social circles, the chances to bump into you had become rare. but the moment you stepped into the classroom that day, something in her stirred. she couldn’t help but notice how much you’d changed since the last time she saw you. she was able to observe you fully: taller, more confident, but still with that same sweetness in your eyes that had made her stomach flutter before the transition into high school. additionally, you looked good—better than she remembered—and that realization had her heart skipping a beat.

she tries to focus on her own task, playing hopscotch with a few of the younger kids, but her eyes keep drifting back to you. you’re crouching down to tie a little girl’s shoelaces, smiling up at her in that easy, charming way you do. danielle’s heart races as she thinks about how effortlessly kind you are, how even the small things you do make her feel warm inside.

as you finish helping the girl, you catch danielle’s gaze—not for the first time that day. your eyes meet, and for a split second, neither of you looks away. she quickly glances down, a soft blush creeping up her cheeks. she can’t help but think how much you’ve changed since middle school—how you’ve grown into someone who’s not just good-looking but incredibly thoughtful, too.

you jog over to where she’s standing, slightly out of breath but grinning. “having fun?”

“yeah,” she replies, her voice a little softer than usual. “you seem like you’re having fun, too.”

“can’t help it,” you shrug, glancing at the kids. “they’re pretty contagious.”

danielle laughs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. the way you talk to her, so casually and effortlessly, makes her more nervous than she should be. you’ve always been easy to talk to, but now it feels different—like there’s something more beneath the surface.

as the afternoon goes on, the kids' energy only seems to increase. you end up sitting on the grass, surrounded by a group of them, laughing as one of the younger boys insists on “fixing” your hair. his tiny fingers tug gently at the strands, doing his best to style it into something creative—mostly a messy combination of pigtails. you wince occasionally, but you let him continue, his determination too adorable to resist. 

danielle watches from a few feet away, trying not to laugh too obviously. she’s been watching you all day, and she can’t help but feel charmed by how good-natured you are, even in moments like this. there’s something so endearing about the way you don’t take yourself too seriously, how you just go with the flow and let these kids have fun with you. she can’t help but sneak a picture, for… the memories of course.

“you look… really good,” she says, teasingly, as she approaches. 

you glance up, one eyebrow raised, trying to look at your reflection in the window nearby. “oh yeah? should i make this my new look?”

danielle grins, sitting down beside you. “i think it could be a trend. maybe you’ll make it on the cover of vogue.”

“right, 'styled by six-year-olds' is definitely going to get me scouted. maybe i’ll even be dressed head to toe in like… i don’t know— celine or something luxury.” you chuckle, letting the boy keep working on your hair. "i’ll give you credit for the idea when i get famous.”

danielle laughs, the sound light and soft, and her heart beats dangerously hard. you’re never trying too hard yet still manage to make people feel good just by being yourself. it’s been like this since middle school, but now, it feels more intense, like every small interaction with you is enough to make her stomach twist in turn—in the good way of course. 

“do you ever get tired of being everyone’s favorite?” she asks, playfully nudging you with her shoulder.

you blink, looking genuinely confused. “me? everyone’s favorite? what are you talking about?”

“you,” danielle says, smiling. “you’re so… easy to like. look at these kids—they’re obsessed with you. i don’t think i’ve ever seen someone win over a bunch of first-graders that fast.”

you shrug, looking a little bashful. “they’re fun and young, that’s all.”

the kid working on your hair finishes and steps back to admire his masterpiece. “done!” he announces proudly.

danielle bursts into laughter when she sees the final result—your hair is sticking out in all directions, a combination of tiny pigtails and knots. you make a dramatic face, pulling a mock-serious expression. “so… how do i look?”

“like a work of art,” she teases, leaning closer to inspect the chaos. “mona lisa is jealous.”

you can’t help but laugh along with her, feeling the warmth of the moment. even though you’re clueless about how much she’s been thinking about you, about how every little thing you do makes her heart skip, the playful energy between you two is unmistakable. there’s something so natural about being with her like this, so comfortable. it feels right, just like how it was back then.

as the kids run off back toward the adults, you and danielle stay sitting side by side in the grass, the conversation flowing easily as she fixes your hair. it’s like no time has passed since middle school, but at the same time, there’s a new layer to your dynamic.

“you know, i always liked you a lot in middle school.” danielle says suddenly, accidentally pulling out a strand of your hair with the hairtie. you wince, but not at the feeling of your hair being pulled out. “sorry about that.”

“you liked me?”

“i mean, who wouldn’t?” danielle shrugs. “everyone wanted to be your friend, of course i wanted to be yours too!”

that kind of ‘like’---the platonic kind.

“oh,” you mumble, “right, thanks. i liked you a lot too, um, like, you know, as a friend.” you’re lying right in front of her face, well, kind of. 

you thought she was just someone sweet and gorgeous, a great friend for maybe two weeks max. she started getting more touchy and affectionate, throwing compliments and making your cheeks flush a little too much. all of it confused you at the ripe age of thirteen, and then the points connected: you had a crush on her.

the moment you realized you liked her was burned into your memory, a core memory that never left. it wasn’t some grand gesture, not some dramatic revelation. it was just the two of you, sitting under the sun after finishing fitness exams early, finding a quiet spot in the grass to relax. you remember her finding a tiny flower in the grass, something you hadn’t even noticed, and without hesitation, she tucked it behind your ear, smiling as she called you wonderful and sweet, like it was the easiest thing in the world—like it was true.

her eyes had lit up, like you were something to be admired, like you were a constellation that she’d stumbled upon. your heart raced in that moment, faster than it ever had during any of the laps you’d run earlier. she just smiled at you, oblivious to the storm she’d created inside of you, and that’s when it hit you: nothing was going to be the same again.

from that day on, thirteen-year-old you couldn’t stop crushing on danielle marsh. it became a constant, something that wove itself into your everyday life, even when you barely saw her. every stolen glance, every random smile she threw your way, things you were sure meant nothing to her, but they were everything to you.

years passed, and even though you both grew older, matured in so many ways, the feelings stayed the same. maybe you were still young, still figuring out your place in the world, but one thing you knew for sure—you were undeniably, hopelessly in love with danielle marsh, and you always would be as long as she existed anywhere near you.

“i know it’s a little late, but i hope we can be friends like that again.” danielle admits, breaking you out of your memory. “i can’t help being so enamored by the person you are now.”

“woah.” you accidentally say, turning away from her and laughing. “sorry, i just— that was really sweet it um, caught me off guard. thank you danielle.”

“you can call me dani, just like you used to.”

“okay.”

her eyes narrow just a bit as her head tilts. she’s hugging her knees to her chest and staring at you while the sun starts to shine golden rays. you blink a few times, tilting your head the same way, and then she smiles again out of nowhere.

“seems like they’re ready to clean up. we should help.”

“for sure.” you say quietly, not budging. “i’ll go when you go.”

danielle giggles, “alright.”

—

after your second day at the elementary school, you and danielle somehow ended up walking to class together. it wasn’t planned, not exactly, but after bumping into each other the next morning, the conversation flowed so naturally that it just made sense to keep talking as you both headed in the same direction. 

danielle walked beside you, glancing at you every now and then as you talked about anything and everything—how tiring the kids could be, your classes, random stuff like favorite snacks or the latest movie you wanted to see. you two were passing time, walking in loops around the first floor of the school since the bell would ring in fifteen minutes. every time you said something that made her laugh, her eyes sparkled just a little more, and it wasn’t lost on you how easy it felt to be around her. 

eventually, you reached her class as your time together shortened. you stopped and turned to face her, giving a small wave. “i’ll see you around?” you asked, a smile tugging at your lips. 

“yeah, definitely,” she said, her cheeks flushing the slightest bit. she gave a little wave back, her smile soft and warm. “thanks for walking with me.”

“no problem,” you said, trying to play it cool despite how fast your heart was racing. you turned, heading off to your own class, but you couldn’t help glancing back once, catching her still watching you. 

what you didn’t see was danielle running into minji and hanni a few minutes later. the two of them were standing near the classroom and got there a few seconds after danielle, noticing immediately how flustered she seemed as they approached her at her desk.

“was that y/n you just waved goodbye to?” minji asked, her eyebrow raised. 

“yeah, we’ve been, uh, talking again. like friends! of course…” danielle said, her voice soft, a blush creeping up her neck as she tried to hide her smile.

hanni grinned, catching on instantly. “getting close again, huh?” she teased, nudging danielle’s arm playfully. 

danielle’s cheeks turned a little more pink, and she couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. “something like that,”

minji smirked. “you look way too happy about it.”

danielle looked down, biting her lip to stop from grinning. “it’s nothing,” she muttered, but even she couldn’t believe her own words.

because, really, it felt like everything.

—

later that day you head toward the locker room after a tiring swim practice. sohee is teasing you for messing up during a lap, and hyein continues to add on. you manage to shake sohee off after splitting ways, but hyein is still poking at you.

you shower quickly, dry yourself, and change into your usual hoodie and sweats before waving to your teammates who aren’t done packing up.

once you open the door, you immediately catch danielle leaning against the wall. she looks up as soon as you step out, her features lighting up.

“hey!” she greets.

“hi.” you respond as you walk up to her. “waiting for hyein?”

“um, yeah.” danielle is lying again, this can’t be a good habit. maybe it lying isn’t so bad if it’s to see someone as wonderful as you, danielle thinks. “how was practice?”

“i was kinda slow today, but it was fun.” you sigh, “how has your day been?”

“tiring as well,” she huffs. “but i’m really caught up with schoolwork and the student council meeting was really short.”

“that’s lovely.” you catch sohee and wonbin in the corner of your eye and purse your lips. “those idiots,” your eyes turn towards them and danielle briefly glances at the idiots in question, “are hungry. they’re like vacuums… i swear.”

“i understand, my friends are like that too.” danielle snickers, directing her attention back to you. “hey, i was also wondering if you’d um, like to walk together in the morning? like we can walk or you can eat breakfast. it doesn’t matter. i’m just saying i’d like to be with you tomorrow morning.”

you freeze, parting your mouth to say something, but everything is caught up in your throat.

your brain stops functioning for a moment as you try to process quite literally everything. you manage to respond a few seconds later, “yes!” the eagerness makes you cringe, you cough. “yes, i mean. i’d also like to be with you! u-uhm, in the morning, obviously. yeah. we can do whatever you’d like, just say the words and i’m uh, i’m down.”

her lips turn up and you swear the universe just slapped you in the face. “great,” she says, “i’ll see you tomorrow. you should go feed your friends.”

“yeah, they… eat—a lot. sorry, yeah, i’ll get going. see you!”

“see you y/n!” she waves, and you wave back, walking towards two idiots trying to hold laughter and snarky remarks.

—

you’re helping out the kids as they all tend to their artwork. this time everyone has watercolor, which is a little less messy than your first rodeo at the school. you sit at the table with five children, all of them eager to earn criticism and compliments from their work.

“y/n! y/n! how do you like mine? it’s good right? do you like it?” one girl says, holding up the paper to your face with her little hands.

you chuckle, moving back a bit to get a better view of the work. it’s (what you assume) a scene from the country side; different shades of green line the bottom of the page to imitate grass, and there are different colored flowers peeking out getting shined on by the sun from above.

“it’s gorgeous annie.” you assure, “but i think those flowers are a little lonely without bees.”

the girl brings her paper back and turns it around to inspect. she squints her eyes, biting her lip before nearly slamming it on the ground and beginning to color again. “you’re right! i should’ve done that… also piggies and cows and… the flowers need friends.”

“you’re very creative, i love it!” you beam, patting her shoulder. she turns and smiles at you.

danielle’s palm holds her chin as she watches the interaction from a table away, grinning without knowing. her smile only grows when you give suggestions to another kid, and then she’s breaking away after a child tugs at her hair subtly.

“miss danielle, why are you staring at y/n so much?” the boy asks shyly. 

“o-oh.” danielle’s cheeks start to tingle with heat. “sorry, did you want me to check your work out?”

“why are you staring at y/n?” he asks again, tilting his head at her. 

“it’s nothing, really. i was just um… daydreaming.”

“about y/n?” kids are getting clever these days, though thankfully they lack the snarkiness. “is that why you’re staring at her?”

“um, no.” um, yes. danielle is lying to a child. “i just, she’s– she happens to be in my vision. um, let’s see your artwork!”

the kid shrugs, pushing the paper over to danielle who is in awe of how well done it is. this kid isn’t just smart, he’s remarkably talented too. 

now it’s your turn to look over at danielle, who’s tending to kids. you admire her for a bit, a small smile creeping up to your lips before you return to your own tasks.

—

the three of them—hanni, minji, and danielle—were huddled on the floor of minji’s room, surrounded by blankets and snacks. they’d been talking about everything and nothing for the past hour, the usual mix of gossip, random stories, and playful teasing filling the room as they have their monthly sleepover.

but as the conversation died down, danielle found her mind wandering back to the past few days—the past month—specifically to you. it had been happening more and more lately. volunteering with you at the elementary school had brought back feelings she thought she’d outgrown, but being around you so often was starting to get to her. all the walks to class were getting to her, the shared glances and grins, really just the awareness of you existing was making her think hard.

“are you okay, dani?” hanni asked, noticing the way danielle had fallen quiet, her face a little red.

minji narrowed her eyes playfully. “yeah, you’ve been acting weird all night. what’s going on?”

danielle sat up straighter, nervously picking at the hem of her oversized sweater. “um… okay, i’m probably just overthinking this, but—” she hesitated, biting her lip before blurting out, “i think i still like y/n.”

both hanni and minji exchanged looks, and then hanni grinned. “still? dani, i didn’t even know you ever stopped.”

“you never stopped,” minji added with a teasing smirk. “you’re just aware of it now because you two interact. i still remember how often you’d mention her back then when we were underclassmen. it wasn’t much, but i thought you always had eyes for her.”

“ugh.” danielle groaned, covering her face with her hands. “but like, it’s different now. we’ve been spending time together at the volunteering thing, even after that, and—” she paused, her voice softening, “she’s just so… sweet. and cute. like, even when she’s not trying, she’s just… ugh, i don’t know.”

hanni grinned, sitting up and leaning toward her. “oh my god, are you gushing?”

danielle peeked out from behind her hands, her face red. “no,” she muttered, but even she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “okay, maybe a little. yeah.”

“what’s she been doing that’s got you all flustered?” minji asked, genuinely curious now.

danielle sighed, her heart racing just thinking about it. “it’s like… little things, you know? like, she always makes sure i’m okay when we’re with the kids, and she’s so patient with them. and then there was this one time where a kid was playing with her hair, trying to style it, and she just let them do whatever they wanted without even complaining.” danielle laughed softly. “she just looked so cute and clueless, and i couldn’t stop staring. and she’s so, so sweet. she walks me to class and asks how i’m doing and we do gas station runs before or after volunteering and she’s so… crush worthy. i don’t know!”

hanni and minji exchanged knowing looks again.

“and like, we’ve barely talked since middle school, but now it’s like… i don’t know. it feels like nothing’s changed, but everything has? i just—” danielle paused, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “i’m starting to realize how much i like her again. we grew up kind of distant and it feels like there’s so much more to her that has me falling deeper than i ever had.”

minji smiled softly. “sounds like you’ve got it bad, dani.”

danielle groaned, lying back on the floor and covering her face again. “why is this happening?”

hanni laughed, poking her side. “because y/n’s cute, and you can’t handle it.”

“exactly,” minji agreed, her teasing grin in full force.

danielle sighed, letting her friends’ teasing wash over her as she tried to calm her racing heart. it was hopeless. she’d never stopped liking you, and now that you were back in her life, it was like everything was coming back all at once.

“what do i even do?” danielle muttered, staring up at the ceiling.

hanni grinned, nudging her. “easy. tell her.”

danielle blushed harder, shaking her head. “no way. i’ll just… i’ll wait.”

minji snorted. “yeah, good luck with that.”

—

that same night, you’re playing basketball with sohee at the court near your houses. sohee moved across the street from you right before high school started, and ever since that you two have been best friends. he’s someone you trust and love with your whole heart, but simultaneously a leech stuck to your side.

the night was cool, the court illuminated by the soft, dim glow of the overhead lights. you and sohee had been at it for a while, your usual one-on-one basketball game to unwind. except tonight, something was off. sohee was easily scoring on you, his movements quick and smooth while yours were sluggish and distracted. you missed shots you’d normally make without a second thought, and every time you tried to focus, your mind drifted back to danielle.

“y/n,” sohee called, catching the ball after your latest missed shot. “what is going on with you? you’re way off.”

you wiped the sweat from your brow, feeling the frustration rising. “nothing, i’m just… tired,” you muttered, but even you didn’t believe that excuse. sohee didn’t either.

he dribbled the ball lazily, walking toward you. “tired? no way. you’ve been off this whole game. i’ve scored more points in the last ten minutes than i usually do in an hour.” he nudged your shoulder with his elbow, his eyes narrowing playfully. “what’s going on?”

you hesitated, biting the inside of your cheek. it wasn’t like you to talk about stuff like this, especially with sohee, but the thoughts swirling around your head were starting to get overwhelming. you couldn’t deny it anymore.

with a sigh, you sat down on the edge of the court, sohee plopping down beside you. “it’s… danielle,” you finally admitted, your voice quieter than you intended.

sohee blinked, raising an eyebrow. “danielle?” he repeated, leaning back on his hands. “okay… go on.”

 you put your head in your hands, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “i don’t know. like, we’ve been hanging out more because of the volunteering stuff, and… i don’t know. i can’t stop thinking about her. like, at all. and it’s messing me up. before it was just a small, lingering crush. it’s so, so bad now.”

sohee’s expression softened, a knowing smile tugging at his lips. “so you’ve been crushing on her hard, huh?”

you groaned, leaning your head back and staring up at the night sky. “yeah, i guess you could say that.” it felt like an understatement—it was an understatement. “but it’s more than that. i feel like… every time we’re together, i’m losing my mind. like, i don’t know what to do with myself. i’m always trying to act normal, but she’s so sweet and adorable and cute and i—” you stopped yourself, feeling embarrassed by how much you were rambling. “jesus, i sound like an idiot. don’t look at me—it’s bad.”

sohee chuckled, shaking his head. “honestly, from what you’ve told me, it sounds like she probably likes you too.”

your heart skipped a beat at his words, but you shook your head. “no way. she’s just… being nice. that’s how she is.”

“nah,” sohee stood up, tossing the ball back and forth between his hands. “you don’t see it, but i’ve seen you guys together. and besides, people don’t just act like that for no reason. the way you described her, she’s gotta be into you.”

you raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “you think?”

sohee shrugged. “i mean, you won’t know until you ask her. but from where i’m standing, she’s been giving you all the signs. you are the only one who doesn’t catch her smiling at you, even looking at you. she has to be losing it just as much.”

you sat there for a moment, letting his words sink in. maybe he was right. maybe danielle did like you, but it was hard to believe, especially when you felt so off balance around her. still, the idea of it made your heart race in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

“you’re overthinking it,” sohee said, tossing the ball to you. “just… be yourself. she clearly likes who you are, whether you realize it or not.”

you caught the ball, your grip tightening around it as you glanced at him. “and if you’re wrong?”

he laughed, shrugging. “then you’ll live, you always make it. but honestly, i don’t think i am.”

you exhaled slowly, standing up and bouncing the ball a couple of times. “yeah, maybe.”

sohee grinned, motioning for you to start the game again. “come on, let’s finish this. i’m not letting you off easy just because you want marsh.”

you laughed, feeling a little lighter as you dribbled the ball and faced him. “i’m gonna beat your ass—maybe stick to swimming.”

—

the next time you and danielle volunteer at the elementary school, the kids are in full creative mode, diving headfirst into arts and crafts. you watch as their tiny hands work with paper, markers, and glue sticks, their faces lit up with excitement. you and danielle sit side by side at a low table, helping them cut shapes and fold paper, but soon enough, the kids start getting ideas of their own.

"we’re gonna make you guys princesses!" one of the little girls announces with a grin, holding up some colored paper.

"yeah, princesses need crowns," another chimes in, already working on what looks like a very lopsided paper tiara.

danielle laughs softly, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "oh, wow. we’re honored, huh?" she says, glancing at you, her smile wide but a little flustered.

you nod, trying to play it cool even though the idea of you both as ‘princesses’ is making your head spin. "i guess we’re royalty for the day."

soon enough, you and danielle each have paper crowns placed carefully on your heads, the kids squealing in delight at their creations. you catch a glimpse of danielle out of the corner of your eye, and even though the crown is crooked and made of construction paper, she looks... perfect. she always does. she looks even better than any princess from the movies.

"okay, now you need to get married!" one of the boys shouts, bouncing on his feet as he holds out paper rings he made from scraps of old coloring sheets.

both you and danielle freeze for a second, the word ‘married’ hanging in the air like it’s some forbidden territory. you and danielle: married. but the kids don’t give you much time to process because suddenly, two of them grab your hands, pulling you up from your seats.

"come on! princesses have to get married!" they insist, giggling wildly.

danielle glances at you, her eyes wide, but she’s smiling, clearly trying to suppress how flustered she is. "uh, i guess we don’t really have a choice here," she says softly, her voice slightly shaky but still playful.

"nope, none at all," you respond, trying to sound as casual as possible, even though your heart is practically beating out of your chest. you reach out and take the paper ring they offer, pretending it’s all part of the fun as you slip it onto danielle’s finger. “but i don’t mind you as the princess.” you whisper.

danielle’s cheeks flush as she does the same, her fingers lightly brushing against yours as she slides the paper ring onto your hand. for a second, the whole room seems to blur, and it’s just the two of you standing there, awkwardly exchanging paper rings with a bunch of kids cheering you on.

"you may now... be married!" one of the kids declares, causing an eruption of giggles all around you.

you and danielle exchange a quick look, both of you clearly trying not to burst into laughter, but also kind of… lost in the moment. her smile is soft and shy, and you can’t help but feel the warmth spreading through your chest like always.

"well, that was... something," danielle murmurs, her voice quieter as she glances down at the ring now wrapped around your finger.

"yeah," you manage to say, your own voice barely steady. "guess we’re officially paper royalty now."

“i suppose so ‘your highness.’”

both of you laugh, but it’s the kind of laughter that lingers—nervous, sweet, and a little unsure of what it all means. you sit back down, the kids going off to make more crafts, but the paper rings stay on your fingers. neither of you make a move to take them off, both pretending like everything is fine, even though the butterflies in your stomach are telling you otherwise.

—

it was a typical friday after swim practice. you were tired but in a good mood, feeling the pleasant ache in your muscles as you pulled your hoodie over your head and adjusted your sweatpants. as you walked out of the locker room, your hair still damp, you see danielle waiting outside, leaning against the wall with her phone in her hand.

she looked up when you stepped out, and the smile that spread across her face was like a breath of fresh air. “hey,” she greeted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

you smiled back. “hey. waiting for hyein?” it was your automatic assumption since danielle usually hung out with her after school, and you were trying to play it cool, despite the sudden spike in your pulse.

danielle shook her head, biting her lip as if she was a little nervous. “no, actually. i was wondering… if you wanted to grab a bite with me? i mean, if you're free? if you’re going to grab dinner with sohee and wonbin though—i understand.”

for a second, you just stared at her, completely thrown off. danielle marsh, standing there, casually asking you to hang out. it felt surreal. she was looking at you expectantly, her eyes bright and hopeful, and it took everything in you to not freeze up completely.

“just us?”

“who else would be coming? i wanted to… spend time with you.” danielle fidgets with her fingers.

“uh, yeah, sure!” you finally managed to respond, hoping you didn’t sound too eager, but internally you were freaking out.

from the corner of your eye, you spotted sohee and wonbin leaning against the vending machine nearby, watching the whole thing unfold. sohee gave you a sly smirk, while wonbin raised his eyebrows in playful encouragement, clearly trying to get you to go along with it. they didn’t say a word, but their teasing looks were enough.

you ignored them, focusing back on danielle, who was smiling wider now that you’d agreed. “great!” she said, looking genuinely happy. “there’s this place nearby that makes really good sandwiches. hyein loves to eat there after practice.”

“sounds perfect,” you replied, unable to stop the grin spreading across your face as the two of you made your way toward the parking lot.

as you walked side by side, you couldn't help but sneak glances at her, wondering how the universe had aligned for this to happen. danielle, who had been so distant for years, was suddenly in your life again, and now you were about to grab sandwiches together.

you reached your car, and as danielle slid into the passenger seat, you tried to act normal. after all, this ins’t the first time danielle has been in your car. she clicked her seatbelt and looked over at you with a soft expression, and for a moment, everything felt easy.

you turned on the engine, glancing at her with a smile of your own. “let’s go get those sandwiches.”

—

you noticed one of the kids, a little boy named max, slumped over at his desk, his tiny hand still clutching a crayon while his head rested on his arm. he was fast asleep, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up to him. you smiled to yourself, gently lifting the crayon from his hand and setting it down before carefully scooping him up in your arms.

max stirred slightly but didn’t wake, his small body curling into you instinctively. you carried him across the room, making sure your steps were light and quiet, and set him down gently on a blanket in the corner. once you made sure he was comfortable, you knelt beside him, adjusting the blanket around him so he wouldn’t get cold.

as you stood up, brushing off your hands, you felt a pair of eyes on you. turning around, you caught danielle watching the whole scene, her gaze soft and warm. before you could say anything, she spoke, her voice quiet but filled with admiration.

"you're really sweet, you know that?" she said, almost like the words slipped out without her meaning to.

your face heated up instantly, a deep blush spreading across your cheeks. you rubbed the back of your neck, trying to play it off. "thank you," you mumbled, avoiding her gaze because the way she was looking at you made your heart race even more.

but danielle wasn’t letting it go that easily. she smiled at you, that same smile that always made your insides twist in the best way. "no, i mean it. you’re just... really good with them. it’s nice to see. you’re so sweet and so like, cute. sorry."

you blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in her voice. "uh, thanks. i just... i don’t know." you tried to brush it off again, but you could feel her eyes still on you, and it made you flustered beyond words.

danielle tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her cheeks a little pink now too. she quickly looked away, biting her lip like she couldn’t believe she’d just said that, and you swore you saw the smallest hint of nervousness in her expression.

you both stood there for a second in the quiet classroom, neither of you sure what to say next. but something unspoken passed between you, something warm and sweet, and even though neither of you acknowledged it out loud, it hung in the air like a gentle breeze.

maybe she didn’t just see you as a friend after all.

—

after leaving the elementary school, you and danielle decided to grab some smoothies, neither of you really wanting the day to end just yet. after picking up your drinks, you drove to a nearby park, parking in a spot that had a perfect view of the sunset. the sky was painted with soft pinks and oranges, fading into a deep blue as the sun dipped lower on the horizon.

sitting side by side in the car, both of you sipped on your smoothies, the air between you comfortable yet charged with something unspoken. danielle was flipping through her phone, looking for something to watch, and eventually settled on a short movie you both had heard about. you propped your phone up on the dashboard, the two of you leaning back in your seats, the glow from the screen illuminating your faces.

the movie played on, but your mind wasn’t completely on it. not really. it was hard to focus when danielle was sitting so close, her laugh quiet but making your heart race every time. you could feel the warmth of her next to you, and each little shift she made only reminded you of how much you liked her.

as the movie reached its peak, the two characters on screen began to confess their feelings for each other. it was a sweet, heartwarming moment, and as you watched, you couldn’t help but feel the growing urge to say something. the way they looked at each other, the vulnerability, the raw emotion—everything felt so familiar.

you glanced over at danielle, who was also watching the scene intently. her hand rested on her lap, fingers lightly tapping to some rhythm only she could hear. your heart pounded in your chest, and before you could stop yourself, you opened your mouth to speak, but then—

“i like you.”

the words tumbled out at the exact same time. both of you froze, eyes wide as you turned to face each other. danielle’s hand smacks over her mouth at the same tiem as you. for a second, it was like the world had stopped, the air between you electric, charged with a mix of surprise and relief. 

danielle’s eyes blinked in shock, and then she laughed softly, her cheeks turning pink as she ducked her head slightly. "what? you, you like me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

you nodded, feeling equally flustered but relieved. you turn toward your wheel and put your hands over your face as you lean against it. “yeah,” you mumble against your skin. 

there was a beat of silence, the tension dissolving into something lighter, something sweet. you both smiled at each other, the nervousness fading as the reality of the moment settled in.

"i thought it was just me," she admitted shyly.

"same," you replied, grinning despite the butterflies in your stomach. "but... i'm glad i wasn’t." you lean back in your seat, unable to look at her.

danielle let out a little laugh, and for a moment, everything felt right. you weren’t just friends anymore, not after this. and as the last light of the sunset faded, the two of you sat there in the quiet of the car, your hands slowly finding each other in the space between you. it felt like something had shifted—something you’d both been waiting for.

she looks at you, her eyes still wide, her smile soft but curious. "how long?" she asks quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. the question hung in the air, and you could feel the weight of it.

you swallowed, feeling the heat rise to your face. "uh... since middle school," you admitted, glancing down at your hands nervously. "it was after we finished the fitness testing... remember? you put a flower in my hair while i was sweaty and tired and gross."

danielle’s eyes lit up with recognition, a soft giggle escaping her lips. "wait, really? you liked me then?" she asked, her smile growing as she leaned in a little closer, clearly caught up in the moment. 

"yeah," you nodded, feeling the giddiness rise in your chest. "i remember being so embarrassed because i thought i looked terrible, but you just smiled at me like... like it didn’t matter."

danielle blushed deeply, covering her mouth with her hand as she giggled. "oh my god, i didn’t know! and now i feel even worse because... i’ve liked you since middle school too."

your heart nearly stopped at her words, your eyes widening in surprise. "wait, what? since when?"

"remember that science project we did together?" danielle asked, her cheeks still flushed. "you finished most of it because i was sick for half the week... and you didn’t complain once. you just did it and made sure i didn’t feel bad about it. you even emailed me to drink water and take care of myself. how could i not like you."

“oh"

"yeah," danielle smiled, a little shy now. "i think that’s when i realized you were really special."

both of you were blushing now, giggling nervously in between your confessions, like you couldn’t quite believe what was happening. it was surreal, this moment you’d both been unknowingly waiting for since you were kids. and now here you were, sitting in your car, finally on the same page after all these years.

"i can’t believe we’ve both been... waiting this long," you said, still grinning like an idiot. you smack your forehead with your palm.

"me neither," danielle agreed, her voice soft as her gaze lingered on yours. her smile grew, her eyes sparkling with that familiar light you’d always admired. "but i’m really glad we know now."

"yeah," you whispered, feeling your heart swell as you looked at her. "me too."

silence settled between you two after the giddy confessions, but it wasn’t awkward. it felt... comfortable. like a new kind of peace, where everything was finally out in the open. danielle fiddled with her smoothie cup, glancing at you every now and then with a soft smile, while you kept sneaking looks at her as you drove, your heart doing little flips each time you caught her eyes.

the drive to her house felt shorter than usual, and before you knew it, you were pulling up in front of her place. you turned the engine off, the soft hum of the car dying down as you both sat in the lingering quiet. you wanted to say something, anything to keep her here just a little longer, but your mind was blank—except for the thought of how much you didn’t want this moment to end.

danielle turned to you, her eyes warm and sparkling under the dim glow of the streetlight. "thanks for today," she said quietly, her voice gentle, but there was something more behind it, something unspoken that hung between you.

you felt your heart race again. "no problem, anytime."

danielle looks like she wants to say something. she looks at you with an uncertain expression, biting her lip to hold back something.

“i want to kiss you so bad right now danielle.” you admit quickly, almost out of breath. “you look so cute right now i kind of want to get run over because of how adorable you look. like, oh my god.”

“no, yeah, i feel the same. can we— can i kiss you? oh my god, i’ve never done this before.”

you giggle, “me neither.”

there was a brief pause, and before you could stop yourself, you leaned in—just slightly. it was almost instinctual, like the air between you both had been pulling you closer this entire time. danielle noticed, her breath hitching softly as her eyes flickered to your lips, and in the next heartbeat, she closed the distance.

the kiss was soft, tentative—both of you so nervous, yet so eager. her lips were warm and gentle against yours. danielle’s hand slid into your hair, ruffling it up a bit more and sending shivers down your spine. you couldn’t help but melt into her touch. your own hands trembled as you cupped her cheek, everything feeling new and exciting, yet strangely right.

when you finally pulled apart, both of you were blushing so hard, it was almost embarrassing. you could barely look at each other without grinning like idiots, your hearts pounding in unison. danielle let out a soft laugh, her cheeks bright pink as she quickly glanced at the door.

"um... i’ll—i’ll see you tomorrow?" she stammered, clearly flustered, but there was a giddy, breathless smile on her face that made your own heart stutter.

"yeah, tomorrow," you managed to say, your voice shaky from the rush of emotions. you were still trying to process what had just happened, your lips tingling from the kiss as you watched her open the door to leave. “one more?”

danielle laughs, then gives you a brief kiss before pulling away and avoiding your gaze from nervousness.

she waves a quick goodbye before disappearing into her house, but not without one last smile that made your heart swell all over again. you sat there for a moment longer, your face burning as you replayed everything in your head. the kiss, the confession, her soft touch—it all felt like a dream, one you were still floating in.

and for a moment, all the nerves, all the unspoken feelings—everything just melted away, leaving behind a feel of tranquility between you both. you weren’t just two people holding onto a crush anymore. you were finally something more, and it felt like everything had just fallen perfectly into place.

[serv0z]

Mart.. More yapping below!!

i have a lot less on martlet bc?? really we dont have much lore on her(as far as i know). shes highly observant but shes kind and welcoming enough to let Clover room with her in the neutral route despite noticing their crimes and live a happier childhood. ive never seen genocide yet so i dont know if we got more lore on her. she makes all sorts of crafts so i think she'd work in the steamworks a bit and try to fix things up and salvage stuff for other creations that are unused there and eventually help build the houses up on the surface for the monsters ! from what ive seen of zenith martlets design, she has this. darker palette, her hair is much longer, she has badass battle armour and her wings are much bigger and have stars and galaxies in them. granted, this is not a natural transformation nd is more reminscient of undyne because she injects herself with either determination or what was extracted from the integrity soul.(I have remained spoiler-less to genocide so far, no one say ANYTHING) to add to it, her hair and wings have darker tips, inside of them are barely visible stars that blink in nd out of existence. because she has a workshop and crafts things i think she'd be covered in oil and grease often, getting it on her shirt and face. she carries around her goggles because shes constantly going around and checking on her puzzles in snowdin and also crafting things like Ava. i gave her boots more of a flair, her hair has these two pieces sticking out the back as a nod ig to zenith and a stray feather in her hair she doesnt even realize its there!! I wanted to make her body more on the bigger side. bc shes a royal guard she obviously does training and bc her arms are. well. her wings and she flys around often shes STRONG. bodybuilders have more fat on them, theyre not super skinny and i wanted to show that but idk how well i portrayed it here. I wanna portray it better in future drawings though.

[lucabyte]

hello

is this how your peopls work. i am obsessed with your comics and the panel layout and the way they react to eachother and sdgafkhgfdhsagfha s i very desperately need to have a grasp on how you see them in their dynamic and interacting and i feel like i don't know as much about how isabeau and loop be interacting but i am so so so so SO curious as to how that goes and how they feel about eachother pre-"i'm a former siffrin" and post-"ok you know who i am"

oh hell yeah a diagram we love a diagram

but yeah i'd say you've gotten my interpretation of the dynamic down pretty solid??

in general i think my instinct with loop-isabeau interactions is a lot tamer/calmer than others ive seen, my reasoning for why being hmm... i think i can note my core 'things im keeping in mind from the text' here

isabeau's line in act 6 remarking that loop seemed 'shy'. for all of loop's bravado @ siffrin (and thus the player's pov), they are still siffrin, so while it can be easy to percieve them as this loud bombastic personality-- there is this textual reminder that them acting this way is probably due in part to being up against siffrin, someone who won't speak unless spoken to (and thus loop takes the initiative, and is also presumably reveling a bit in making them uncomfortable and annoyed, inkeeping with their self-hatred and self-flaggellation) this to me reads as a reminder that they'd probably retreat into their shell hard when presented with other people- the party included. so even if i can see them trying to undermine their relationships with others, i think it's probably more on the insidious 'insulting siffrin to make the party protective of them' side, because that also feeds into 'proving' that the party only cares about one siffrin and that loop can be replaced. meanwhile isabeau has shown that, even with a vicious jealous streak, he can mostly keep a lid on it. he's the most emotionally intelligent of the group, and would probably be able to suss out loop's self-harm-via-getting-people-pissed-off-at-them gambit relatively simply given how obvious it is. also isabeau is not immune to insecurity-- and would probably let loop take some precidence over their relationship with siffrin because 'well i cant compete with the guy who actually went through All Of The Timeloop With Them.' because like... damn how are you supposed to do that. loop understands their pain better than isa ever could, and it would show in their fucked up unspoken understanding of each other (because how is Isa to know thats because theyre the same guy, and not just because the timeloop traumabonded the fuckers baddddly. which it also did.).

timeloop stressful as fuck. absolutely has both of them on tenterhooks the whole time. we visibly see how it affects siffrin (despondance & mania & aggression), and we see SAPfrin be very. very very despondant. so it would seem to me that loop is basically in a perpetual state of mania, given how sif's internal monologue begins to resemble their way of speaking (with the tee hees and such) when they are clearly broaching into manic states. one can assume that if you take loop out of the Torment Nexus, while they probably wouldn't faire well, all of the tension and pressure that's holding them up would collapse, likely putting them more depressive again by default? Of note, whenever i write loop's dialogue (which im told i do well? i will be honest i kind of feel like that's far too high praise.) i initially write it as very blunt and pissed off-- and will afterwards go back in and Maybe change wording to be more 'silly', but mostly i just add tildes~, italics, exclamation points and laughter to the pissed off dialogue without changing the actual content of it?

loop likes their friends! They are fucked up in the head about it (badly!!!) but they like their friends! They still care a lot, and can barely even hide it a little bit with their aloofness in game. it feels redundant to even try pointing out where they slip up because its everywhereee. They de-person their Actors because theyre the same lines over and over and over, but you see in SAP alone how any break from the script makes them overwhelmed with emotion, and how devastated they are if that deviation occurs a second time and becomes predictable (dying to the king after triggering the requisites for the true end, forcing you to go through it again). BUT!! You take their friends out of the timeloop and let them be New Unpredictable People again? I genuinely find it hard to believe mx siffrin "i love my friends so much id explode the world about it" nolastname would be able to see that and just go "nope im emotionally disconnected i can keep being a bitch to these guys forever". like no theyre gonna slip into being at least neutral no matter what. even if it's in a quiet depressive state when the mania wears off.

my biggest deviation from frequently observed fandom things here i think: i think loop doesn't actually believe that ISAT!Party are 'replacements'. they rarely if ever word a sentiment like this. this is something the fandom goes for because the horror of being replaced wholesale probably WOULD make it easier to cope if you considered those people to Not Be Your Real Friends. But loops WHOLE act 6 spiel? 'THEY WERE MINE FIRST. I LOVED THEM'? (paraphrased) they obviously desperately want to be with them again, and know they're the same people. The Fighter/Defender discrepancy clue is mostly metatext here-- since Loop never acknowledges the defender title-- just calling ISAT!Isa Fighter-- because they are the same guy. Your Fighter. They even call them Fighter in the "You got memory of X, your Fighter will now..." dialogues! Which are practically system dialogues! So. they see these isabeaus as the same. And while I would not put it past them to come up with the "they are different, my party is Dead" thing to Cope... I do think it is a delusion, plain and simple, and that I think any post-knowing-the-truth party would probably shut down weird rituals ive seen the fandom propose (often in a cute way??? it makes me feel insane?? like the concept of loop 'memorialising' their 'dead' family is not cute its nuts. they are being nuts. its like actively feeding into an extremely maladaptive coping mechanism. sorry this is like a massive sidebar but like. Yes i do think this is something loop might do if left unchecked. but it should not be presented as sane or rational? it outright undermines the themes of the game to treat the concept of 'Loop's party' being 'dead' as 'True'?? There's like several points in the game where Loop and Siffrin express that things that happened in the loops Still Happened even if the party dont recall it-- which is why their actions-- being cruel or doing 'experiments' still hold weight and can be Wrong. That it's tragic that the party will never remember but that their forgetting is NOT a pass to do whatever with no consequnce (experiment, bad touch, etc). It follows that by Nixing all of "loop's party", treating them as seperate, in some way implies loop's memories are Lesser and what they did "doesn't matter as much", which is antithetical on account of being contradictory to however you take the stated theme. PLUS... The game and Paratext are clear that there is One Timeline. SAP is in the same contiguous space as ISAT-- it is effectively just that on the loop between SAP and ISAT that we the audience dont see-- loop ate that star and when the loop restarted there were two of them. for all intents and purposes one can intuit that Loop 0 of isat and SAPfrin's first loop are legitimately identical from sif's POV, as Loop does not reveal themselves until Loop 1. BUT YEAH GIANT SIDEBAR OVER. THIS WHOLE READ OF THE TEXT INFORMS MY THOUGHTS RE: ISALOOP AND RELATED CONCEPTS VERY GREATLY)

jesus christ i wrote a lot in the above um. sorry. i dont know if its intelligable. uh. good luck?

im also on team 'orrery book and sif's thoughts about it belie a real deep-seated brainworm' re: their response to a Cautionary Tale About How You Will Inevitably Kill Your Double seemingly being "Nah, we'd be besties."... like. i do think it is. funny. and not particularly Unbased. Given how they are. For siffrin and loop to specifically be compelled by how they are the same guy. And i think that there's a lot to be mined from 'Both of them are convinced that the party knowing who loop is would fuck up everything badly, so they're going to great lengths to conseal this' played in tandem with '... they are like. very much explicitly doing things together that are directly related to a feeling of shared ownership over siffrin's body and form & the fact they are The Same Guy'. like it is a hysterical setup to me and i think is only added to when you have to put Isabeau in the middle of this polycule also. With the few exceptions of times ive drawn stuff specifically hinging on characters Knowing Who Loop Is (which is like. all bonnie-centric stuff so far? i think?), i take a lot of care to try and make their exchanges Vague as if they are worried about being overheard or saying something that's too much of a smoking gun. But also it's really god damn funny to think about how concerning some of those things could sound the vaguer you make them. Remember that above all i live and die by The Bit. (... as do they.) ie basically because im powered by The Bit thats why i focus more on the sloop side because its like. actively Funnier and more drama filled. or at least presents oppertunities for such. i feel like on isabeaus side here its kinda frequently like

yknow ? (oh god my formatting is broken now) . i DO very much think it can become like. niceys. of course. i think they can just be normal fucking throuple eventually (though if i'm going that goddamn far into the future u may as well partycule the fuckers 2 me. by the time theyve solved whatever the fuck you call pre-reveal isiloops i think odile has gotten involved at the very least. but this is why i mostly keep myself to the realm of 'the mostly immediate post-game conflict' stuff since i think all these characters leave off the end of the game with such solid springboards for arcs set up (clearly intentionally) that the infinite realm of possibilities opens up too wide for me to be comfortable with.) anyway i keep thinking about the tragicomedy of isabeau finally finding an "in" to nurture a friendly bond with loop by comisserating and steeling themselves for changing again even though it feels like a betrayal of their previous actions/beliefs and how fucking funny the idea of 'loop reveal but theyre like 2 weeks into using she/they' is. just like you get all the way through the horrors of 'oh jesus christ the timeloop was even worse than we thought it was' but now '.. d. do you still . what pronouns do you want?' is tacked onto the end. Sorry did you hear something . must've been the wind. anyway . this ask is a fucking mess i hope its readable like at all . can you tell ive been brainscramblied for six weeks

TL;DR:

yeaghj you got it. its not like im doing anything revolutionary im just trying to stick as close as i can do what i percieve the characterisation is in canon & thus generally dont tie down any of my fanwork to specific post-canon-plot-concepts. its all just nebulous extrapolation set 'pretty close to the end of the game because i think these characters are going to grow and change extremely rapidly once the game is over given how they're all intentionally poised for character arcs when the game ends'. but also you should put isabeau in the worst social bind of all time with two of the most mentally unwell BPD OCD havers youve ever seen and let him try to figure out the balance of 'be gentle' and 'treat them like the almost-30-year-old adult they literally are' while he also balances his own set of entire life changes it'll be fine he'll be fine (someone should probably check on him)

[crushedsweets]

can you tell us more about what Ben's life was like before his death?? (family, friends, and so on)(and what happened to them after his death bc oh sweet sweet angst)

ben was my gateway into creepypasta and i am living for your content of him (and your cp content in general) 😭🙏🏻

i havent thought TOO deeply about this actually!! so im gonna just spout what i HAVE thought about and see what i can build while im here!

as per usual, everything is in my AU; Creeped! info in my pinned if curious. CW in this post for murder, suicide, violence, the usual

ok. from the get-go i knew ben was gonna be an only child living in the suburbs. his parents would be pretty average folks, maybe his dad is a plumber and his mom is a secretary at a dentists office . . . he's a little spoiled, considering he's an only child. doesnt do chores, always getting electronics for holidays, most of his meals are made for him. i imagine his grandparents spoil him even more, as he's their only grandkid - something about him screams no cousins either... HES GOT NOBODYYY

i specifically imagine him living in a neighborhood like this. but with tons of toys hanging out on the lawn from when he was young and his parents are too lazy/busy to toss them. all rotting under the sun cuz hes stuck inside on his games

i imagine i has a small circle of friends at school... the type to go ride bikes after school to the corner store, buy hella soda and snacks, then ride home to go play video games.

he's def a bit dorky/geeky and doesnt have a lot of friends, just hangs around at school trading pokemon cards and failing his math tests and eating cheetos.

i think ben wouldve been 'just' missing for a while, but i think that his parents would have lost their minds. organized massive search parties, gone door to door with photos of ben pleading with everyone.

its fucked up but. im thinking. bens mom knocks on the door of the man who killed ben. the man is weird, a recluse, visibly uncomfortable the second he sees her face - she's been all over the news begging for ben to come home, after all. and theres a stench, and everything about this house is just Off and dirty and gross, and the entry way has a pile of boots and slippers and sandals just sitting around - all belonging to the man - but she notices a pair of awfully familiar sneakers.

i think it would be upsetting if she saw the shoes that she bought for ben, began to stammer, the man noticed, and he goes to attack her. she screams and freaks out and barely manages to get away, the man is freaking out and gets in his truck and goes to drive off, huge police-chase ensues, and the cops raid his house. i think the man would shoot himself before the cops could get him, something that would destroy bens family to no end.

while going through his house for evidence, theyd find ben's rotting corpse in the tub - dressed up in the link gear - alongside the majoras mask catridge. and theyd begin to find other remains around the house, all belonging to missing blonde teens around the county/state.

i think its obvious the sort of turmoil and strain this would have on his family(parents+grandparents), but it would be really tough on his friends too. theyre all freshmen in highschool and there would be a ton of rumors, distasteful jokes, etc at Ben's expense - partially from his own friends not knowing how to cope, partially from strangers.

and i dont think ben would be able to witness any of this grief as its happening. OBVIOUSLY he's dead, but his spirit is trapped in the same majoras mask cartridge that ends up getting stuck in evidence.

i think he'd eventually go back to watch all the interviews, news recordings, etc that he can find. and i think he'd try to pretend it doesnt bug him. he's so beyond shitty with his emotions, even as a human - super quick to make a joke out of everything, laugh it all off, in fear of being a 'pussy' or being vulnerable or getting made fun of. cuz he was the type to make fun of other boys for the same stuff. so yk. but the outlet he'd use for his emotions would be hurting people. tormenting, 'trolling', cyberbullying, haunting people all around the nation and driving them to murder, suicide, other things. generally being Evil and thinking its all just a joke. he cant take anything serious

i dont think he'd talk about his family to the creeps. and looking at him, nobody has a damn clue who he is or why he's like That. but he'd accidentally let his last name slip in a random convo, someone would be nosy enough to google it, and the news would quickly spread around the creeps and proxies who know him. not that theyd try and address it or something, but it would 100% leave everyone a little bit like. Oh. That's really sad. esp cuz they all thought he was just an annoying little asshole

[seungmininyourbuilding]

Stray kids OT8 x reader ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Stray kids reacting to you having old but still visible self harm scars </3

Genre : fluff, comfort

Warnings : mention of old self harm scars on forearms and tighs 

There are the 3 firsts members!!! I will do the others soon dont worry!!

remember that you are amazing the way you are!! never give up you can do it, ik you can!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

bangchan : 

• he noticed first when he came home and you were washing the dishes.

The weather was getting hot those days so you decided to wear a short sleeved pajama.. you were aware of your old and still visible scars, but you just hoped that Chan wouldnt notice.. You couldnt bare wearing an hot, thick pajama in this weather, and it will only make your boyfriend more suspicious, so you decided to just pretend theyre not here and see what will happened, and even tho, the situation where he will see them had to come one day.. You didnt wanted to scare him or get him worried, but you trusted him, like he trusted you..

So one day, when he came home, he removed his jacket and shoes while yelling an "I'm home babyyy" before making his way into the kitchen, and giving you a back hug with some complementary kisses on the neck, like usually.

You answered with an wide smile, one of his favorite, and a kiss on the lips.

You continued washing the dishes until you could feel his glance on you.. You turned your head at him to see him starring at your forearm, a really worried look in his eyes. 

"B-babygirl? what are those?" he said taking your arm in his hands, analizing the healed wounds closely.

"mhm.. nothing, chan. just some- hard past, i guess? I'm better tho, I promise"

"You promise?" he said still worried ;

"mhmhm promise" you smiled.

After this, he offered a cuddle session while asking you some questions ; without overwhelming you tho.

He asked since when you had them, why did you started it and if you wanted to talk about it..

He finished by kissing them, praising how strong you are and how he will always love every inches of you forever. <3

Lee know : 

• he noticed them while he was teaching you a dance.

That day you two were in the dance practice room because you wanted to learn the dance cover of a song you liked, and most importantly ; to spend a great time with your amazing and lovely boyfriend.

Even tho you knew he was very strict and serious when it comes to dance, you wanted to share his hobby and you knew that deeply, it made him really happy.

So you wore a comfortable outfit : an white tee shirt and legging, it matches and it was cute.

Generally you would take the time to wear arms warmers because even if your scars were old, you felt ashamed of them... but today was a very hot day, and you know you would remove them anyways, so you just prayed god to not let him notice them 🙏

After a while, you started to struggle with one move so you asked him for help.

He took your arm to show you how to move it and the he noticed.

He noticed.

He was took aback at first, zoning out for two or three seconds before reacting fast.

"Since when do you have those..?"

"oh." you just answered

Even tho you trusted him with every cells of your body, you always hated belng so vulnerable and weak..

There were a big silent ; neither of you knew what to say or how to react.

He was the first to talk again tho.

"I presume theyre... self inflicted?" 

You didnt answered, and he got the message, suddently he patted your head cutely ; you were a bit confused at first before he spoke.

"It's okay Jagiya, you dont have to say anything, I wont force you, but if you have anything in this silly mind of yours, know that ill always be here no matter what, okay?"

You slightly smiled and nodded, he kissed your cheek before coming back to showing you that move.

Changbin :

• He noticed them while cuddling with you.

You were spending a really tough day and you were really tired... Plus it was soooo hot this afternoon, you were suffocating in your clothes.. so you decided, after coming home, take a shower, and doing your skincare, that you will wear that one pajama you had brough online a time ago.. It was pink and white, with a cute patern. in fact 🤓☝️ (sorry.) you were hesitating between two pajamas and changbin choosed this one. You putted it on and looked at yourself in the mirror "it looked better on the model.." you thought to yourself. Its not like you didnt liked the  pajama ; no you loved it. The thing you didnt like was yourself. your body. 

When you looked at your reflection, your eyes met your tighs and your forearms.

You layed on your bed, looking at your scars..

They reminded you how you hated yourself, how theres so many things that you dont deserve, how you were useless, how you d- 

"Bunny hiiiii!!! im hommmeee!!" Changbin said while comming in, snapping you out of your thoughts, you were so focused that you didnt even heard him.

You smiled brightly, opening your arms so he can bury himself in them ; and he did.

Changbin was very affectionate and loved physical affection, so cuddles were daily with him, and you didnt minded at all.

He rushed in your arms and snuggled with you, a big happy smile on both your faces.

"I missed you so muuchhhhh" 

"me too" you smiled and answered.

after like 15 or 30 minutes of quiet cuddles and kisses, you two switched to a new position.

"wait-" he said

"mhmh?"

"ARE YOU WEARING THE PAJAMA I CHOOSED FOR YOU BUNNY?? 🥺"

you chuckled and nodded, before he cuddled you even harder causing you to giggle.

Then he saw your tighs.

he saw them.

he paused a moment while you were still giggling, not knowing he saw them.

"y/n?" his smile faded away 

"yea?" you looked up at him and you understood...

"i.. "

he carressed your tighs with his hand, frowing.

"I never saw you had scars here before?"

"Sorry..." you mumbled "It was a long time ago, dont worry about me" you smiled saddly.

"do you have others?" he asked, worried.

"actually" you gave him your arms "yes, here"

He looked at them, his eyes almost watering, but he didnt wanted to cry in front of you

He gave you a really tight hug 

"Its okay binnie, its over now"

"are you sure?" he said worried in your neck

"mhmhmhm" you answered before covering him in kisses.

im so sorry if it was a little short..

tysmmm for reading like i said other members are coming soon!! <33

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wearing long sleeves? tw // self harm

recently i (20nb) had a particularly bad week and relapsed. i dont do anything that leads to any major injury but it does leave visible marks on my wrists.

after a few days i kind of forgot about them? i dont care about people seeing them all that much (obviously i do tend to wear longer sleeves to hide them, but theyre a part of me just like any other temporary scar. i dont bring them up ever i just let them exist. all this to say if i wear short sleeves its not the end of the world for me) and im in the middle of art school finals right now so hiding my scars is not my priority lol

recently i went out with my family (my mom [49f], my sister [16f] and my brother [14m] if it matters) to get haircuts. the haircuts are by a family friend (63m), and he is well aware of my mental health issues. once i got in the car, i realized that i put on a short sleeved shirt today. we werent exactly gonna go out and do stuff other than haircuts and burger king, so i thought it would be fine. the scars, at this point, have faded to nothing more than faint red lines and are barely noticeable.

long story short, my mom saw them and dragged me out to the car after our haircuts were done. once we got to the car she laid it in on me. she yelled at me, asking me things like "how dare you do that to yourself again", "how dare you show them off to [haircut guy]", "why did you think that wearing short sleeves was even remotely a good idea?". i tried to explain it was an accident, but she pointed to the scars and asked me how "that" was an accident.

i will admit that i didnt have a good answer for that and stayed silent. my mom didnt like that and accused me of everything from earlier again, and then marched inside for my siblings, saying she wasnt done with me.

im now back at my dorms after a very silent car ride. ive already texted my dad (49m) about the situation, who is backing me up, so hopefully the argument will resolve here, but judging from my moms visceral reaction, i feel like an asshole. the intent wasnt to "show them off", but i should have worn longer sleeves to hide them and make sure that i didnt freak out my mom. shes autistic and cant control her emotions very well (she hasnt gotten therapy for it) and she might have been stressed since ive had issues with sh for 7 years now and i was 4 months clean before i relapsed (and she mightve thought that i broke free of the habit).

... though as far as im aware, neither my mom nor my haircutter have had issues with sh in the past, and my haircutter didnt notice my scars.

sorry for long post; aita?

What are these acronyms?

[mamawasatesttube]

3, 4, 6, 14, 18, and 19 for the fanfic writer asks!

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

the courage of stars!!!! it marinated in my head for a WHILE before i was even able to put it into words. im pretty happy with how it turned out!!! kon is in the microwave <3 rotating <3

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

11 total in my wip folder, which is honestly... a way smaller number than it could be/has been sdkfh

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time?

lately ive been going back to meg's single dad clark au 🥺 lois bonding with baby kon save me.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

OOOHH i think midnight sun would make a really fun comic or animation... you could really get the kon scary alien creaturisms visualized, esp like the tapeta lucida when he first shows up, or the kontrast of when he's kneeling and being all soft with tim while there are four (4) immobilized and terrified rando goons behind him. hehe.

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

oh god. what lines have i ever written in any fic, ever. uhhh... OH i do still like this passage from "the courage of stars":

It’s kind of funny. He came here, running away from Earth to escape his problems, and yet they followed him. What’s a guy to do when he’s haunted by his own ghost?

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

WELL i've been picking at the timkon red sun projector one, so... snippet under the cut!!! note that it IS an explicit fic (although this part isnt exactly there yet bc im like 4k in and theyre not even fully nakey yet akjsdhf) (but. yknow. highly suggestive themes)!!

Fanfic Writer Asks!

Tim presses an open-mouthed kiss to his back as he eases the straps of the dress down Kon’s arms. He trails his mouth along the curve of Kon’s shoulder as he pushes one strap down his arm, and a pleasurable shiver runs down Kon’s spine. The dress slips down, lower.

“God, you’re so pretty,” Tim murmurs. He kisses one, two, three spots that feel random, but Kon knows (from many kisses before) that they’re where he has the most visible freckles on his back. One is just below his shoulder, another further down near his spine, and a third and fourth close together on his other shoulder blade.

Kon lets out a pleased hum, breathless. Tim’s hands wander, and Kon leans back into him a little. Tim doesn’t want him touching him back, yet, so—all he can really do is stand here and focus on Tim’s touch. “Mm.”

Tim nuzzles the back of his shoulder as he keeps sliding the dress down Kon’s body. It’s at his hips now, and Tim abandons it for a moment to slide his hands around Kon’s bare waist. He skims his palms along Kon’s ribs, traces the undersides of his pecs, and runs his fingers lightly over Kon’s nipples.

Kon sucks in a breath. He normally doesn’t notice, but—the air in their bedroom is slightly cool against his bare skin, and Tim’s teasing little touches only make the heat of his skin that much more striking. Sparks shoot through him as Tim feels up his chest, his chest warm against Kon’s bare back. Kon can feel the buttons on Tim’s shirt pressing into his bare, tender skin, can feel the barest touch of Tim’s nails as he skims them across his chest.

“Tim,” he murmurs, his heart pounding.

Tim’s lips brush his neck. “My clone boy.”

He lightly pinches one of Kon’s nipples, harder than usual—or maybe it’s that it just feels harder than usual. Sparks fly straight from Kon’s chest to his core, and Kon squeaks. “Ah!”

Tim’s breath tickles against his neck as Tim chuckles, his voice low and warm. “You’re extra sensitive here now, huh?”

“I—I guess,” Kon manages, squirming a little as Tim toys with his chest, both hands warm against him. “Nnh…”

Tim pinches his nipples again, rolls his thumbs over them, and hums. It’s a flirty, teasing touch that doesn’t linger; he moves on, caresses Kon’s collarbones and rubs down his sternum, and kisses his shoulder some more.

Then, abruptly, he pushes the dress down over Kon’s hips. It falls to the floor, pooling around his feet; Kon can feel the press of Tim’s belt buckle into his back, the metal cool against his skin, and it hits him: Kon is here, in his hands, at his mercy, vulnerable in more ways than one. Tim is fully clothed, in control, while Kon’s standing here in just a pair of black, lacy panties, with a red sun projector pressed against his throat.

[phantasmatoucan]

Can I ask whoever designs the voices (I think owl) how they came up with there designs?

HEY MOD OWL HERE, I THINK ILL PUT THIS IN A READMORE BC ITS GONNA BE LONG

FOR ALL OF THEM I HAD WIDELY DIFFERENT IDEAS BUT FOR MOST I HAD SOMETHING SPECIFIC IN MIND BE IT A THING OR A SYMBOL

HERO: FOR HIM I HAD OFC A KNIGHT IN MIND I WAS GONNA GIVE HIM A FULL HELMET BUT I WANTED FOR HIS EXPRESSIONS TO BE SEEN SINCE HES A VERY EXPRESSIVE PERSON IN GENERAL, I MANTAINED HIS EYES UNSEEN THO SINCE HERO IS ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO WILL FOLLOW THE DECIDER BLINDLY AND ONLY AT THE END IS WHEN HES FINALLY ABLE TO REACH HIS FULL POTENTIAL [which is if i did a drawing of one of the ends, heros visor would be lifted up] ALSO HES THE MOST HUMAN LOOKING SINCE THE LONG QUIET PROBABLY HAS A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT A HERO LOOKS LIKE BUT HE PROBABLY THOUGHT IT LOOKS SIMILAR TO THE PRINCESS

SMITTEN: HEARTS, THATS BASICALLY ALL I HAD IN MIND FOR HIM, I LOVE DESIGNING CHARACTERS WITH HEART MOTIFS SINCE ITS FUN TO MESS AROUND WITH THAT [keep it simple or making it a bit more goreish] I WANTED HIM TO BE ROUND AND FRIENDLY SHAPED, THE HAT CAME FROM OLD ROMEO AND JULIET CLOTHES THAT I SAW IN IMAGES AND THE CLOTHES ARE MORE FROM OLD TIMEY BARDS, I HAD THOUGHT OF MAKING HIM A PEACOCK AT FIRST BUT DECIDED I PREFFER HIM LOOKING MORE LIKE A PIDGEON SINCE THEYRE MORE ROUNDER AND ARE MORE COMMON BIRDS THAT PEOPLE SEE EVERYWHERE, THEY APPROACH HUMANS MUCH MORE EASILY AS WELL

SKEPTIC: I WANTED TO GIVE HIM LIKE A DETECTIVE SHERLOCK HOLMES KIND OF FEEL, BUT WHEN I HEARD HIM MORE HE FELT MORE LIKE A NOIR DETECTIVE THAN THAT SO THE FEELING FOR HIM CHANGED [also fun fact his clothes are based on inspector gadget lol] HIS WINGS POINT DOWNWARDS SINCE I WANTED HIS SILHOUETTE TO FEEL MORE HOURGLASSISH FOR HIM, THE OWL PART CAME FROM THE FACT THAT MOST OF THE OWLS IVE SEEN IN MEDIA ARE STUDIOUS CHRACTERS OR ATLEAST TRYING TO LEARN SOMETHING, IN GENERAL I FEEL THE VYBE OF OWLS ARE VERY CURIOUS CREATURES SO I GAVE IT TO SKEPTIC WHO IS THE MOST INQUISITIVE CHARACTER OF THEM ALL

COLD: HARDEST TO GET DOWN I HAD A GRIMM REAPER IN MIND, WITH HIS COLD PERSONALITY, I WANTED HIM TO BE ONE OF THE TALLEST ONE AS WELL FOR HIM TO BE A LITTLE SPINDLY LOOKING, HIS HAS A LONG CLOAK AND WANT HIM TO BE COMPLETLY COVERED IN CLOATHING SINCE HES VERY MUCH CLOSED HIMSELF SO HE CAN BE UNFEELING AND DON'T FEEL ANY PAINT, THE ONLY OTHER PARTS THAT ARE VISIBLE APART FROM HIS FACE IS HIS ARMS WHICH HAVE LONG PLUMAGES SO IT LOOKS LIKE SLEEVES, AND HIS HANDS ARE LONGER AND MORE HUMAN LOOKING AND COMPLETLY WHITE [hard to notice since i draw them all in black in white lol] SO IT LOOKS LIKE SKELETON HANDS

OPPORTUSNIST: SINCE WE HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT HIS FACE LOOKED LIKE I WANTED TO GIVE HIM A BIG BIG SMILE FIRST WITH HIS LONG BEAK, I ALSO WANTED HIS CLOTHES TO BE VER FORMAL [so i went to look for tumblr sexy man clothes lmao] WITH HIS SLEEVES UP, SO THAT HE LOOKS LIKE HE MEANS BUSSINESS, HIS TAIL IS LONG AND DRAGS BEHIND HIM TO LOOK LIKE A LONG OVERCOAT, HIS WINGS ARE ALSO BIG AS WELL [atleast bigger than most of the voices] SO THAT HE TAKES A BIT MORE SPACE IN THE ROOM, I WANTED FOR HIM TO BE SOFFOCATING AND INTOXICATING TO LOOK AT lol, HES ALSO VERY FLUFFY WHICH IS MORE NOTICIBLE ON HIS NECK, SO THAT HE APPEARS A BIT MORE HARMLESS [under his regular clothes hes very fluffy as well] TO ALURE A SENSE OF FRIENDLINESS THAT CONTRAST THE REST OF HIMSELF LMAO

HUNTED: HARE WITH BUNNY, LITERALLY MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS A BIT OF A LLONG HARE WITH BIRD LIKE FEATURES, I WAS DEBATING IF GIVING HIM A SNOUT OR A BEAK WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT I WENT WITH THE SNOUT SINCE IT MAKES HIM MORE DISTINCT TO THE OTHERS [he also has sharp teeth like stubborn but theyre mostly barely visible since he usually doesnt open his mouth too much unless threatend] THE BANDAGES COMES FROM THE FACT THAT I WANTED ALL OF THE VOICES TO HAVE SOME TYPE OF CLOATHING THAT DEFIND THEM, BUT SINCE HUNTED WOULD HAVE NO CLOTHES I WENT WITH SOMETHING LESS NOTICIBLE

CHEATED: DISHEVELED LOOKING BIRD I WAANTED FOR HIM TO LOOK LIKE HE JUST GOT OUT OF A CAR CRASH SO THATS WHY HE HAS A LOT OF BANDAGES, I THINK I MAY CHANGE THINGS ON HIM TO SINCE I WANTED FOR HIM TO HAVE A SCAR ON HIS NECK THAT WOULD BE VISIBLE [since thats a way to get to the razor route] BUT FOR NOW SINCE ONE OF THE VOICES WHO IS ALWAYS THE UNLUCKIEST I MADE HIM THE SHORTEST OFC AND WITH CUTTED WINGS, WHICH ARE LITERALLY USELESS, HIS CHEST ALSO HAS BANDAGES BUT ARE NOT VISIBLE BC OF HIS CLOTHING

BROKEN: PENGUIN MAN, I WANTED HER SHAPE TO BE SIMILAR TO THIS ∩ WHICH MADE ME THINK OF PENGUINS AND THATS HOW HE CAME OUT, HE HAS LONG DROOPY EAR FEATHERS THAT ARE TATHERED SINCE IT WAS HARD TO DEMONSTRATE FOR ME HOW UNKEMPT SHE IS, HIS LONG CLOACK COVERS MOST OF HIS BODY WITH A PENGUIN LIKE PATTERN ON IT, HIS EYES HAVE WRINKLES AND HE ALWAYS LOOKS SAD OR UPSET BY SOMETHING, I WANTED HIM TO OCCUPY LITTLE SPACE SO HE FEELS VERY COMPACT IN HIS OWN DESIGN PARANOID: WANTED TO MAKE HIM LOOK VERY JUMPY AND WORRIED, I HAD AN IDEA FOR HER TO HAVE SPIKIER PLUMAGE LIKE AN EXPLOSION [which is how the plumage of her face came to be] SINCE HE SEEMS TO ALWAYS SO NERVOUS AND READY TO SCREAM AT ANYTHING AGREVATING HIM, HER LONGER EAR FEATHERS CAME TO BE BC I WANTED THEM TO WIGGLE WHENEVER HE WAS CONCENTRATING TO KEEP US ALIVE, I WAS ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE HER A LONGER TAIL LIKE AN ACTUAL FANTAIL PIDGEON, BUT CONSIDERING HOW HE IS I MADE THEM VERY SHORT TO GVIE THE IDEA THAT SHE PLUCKED THEM HIMSELF, ALSO HIS WINGS BEING SO CLOSE TO HIS BACK FOR COMFORT, THE PONCHO CAME MUCH MUCH LATER BC I DIDNT ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT CLOTHES TO PUT ON HIM, I THINK I SAW A CHARACTER I LIKE WITH A PONCHO [cant remember which one] AND WAS LIKE maybe he can have a tattered poncho AND THATS HOW IT CAME TO BE

STUBBORN: DRAGON!!! I REALLY WANTED EYE OF THE NEEDLE TO BE A BIG DRAGON LADY WITH WINGS SCALES AND SUCH BUT WHEN I SAW HER NOT HAVING THOSE I WAS A BIT DISSAPOINTED SO I GAVE IT TO STUBBORN LMAO, HES IS ABOUT AS BIG AS THE LONG QUIET PROBABLY LARGER THO lol, THE MACAW PART CAME FROM THE WAY HIS FACE IS SHAPED, SPECIFICALLY THE BEAK, HIS LOWER TEETH ARE MORE NOTICIBLE THAN HER UPPER ROW, HE IS SCARED OFC FROM THE BATTLE YOU HAVE BEFORE GOING INTO THE ADVERSARY, HIS CLOTHES ARE BASED ON BEOWULD FROM SKULLGIRLS ACTUALLY I WANTED HIM TO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE ANIMAL PELTS AROUND HIS WAIST, SO I WENT WITH A FLUFFIER DRAPES AROUND HIS SKIRT, HIS WINGS ARE IN SIMILAR SHAPE OR THAT OF A DEMON MORE THAN A BIRD SO THAT THEY LOOKED MORE DRAGONISH

CONTRARIAN: JESTER BC I LOVE JESTER AND OFC JESTER CONTRARIAN PROPAGANDA TOOK OVER MY BRAIN, AS I SAID MOD TOUCAN IS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THE HUMMINBIRD PART OF HIS DESIGN SO HIS WINGS ARE LONGER AND TAIL IS AS WELL, HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO I HAVE ACTUALLY COLORED AND THAT IS ON PURPOSE SINCE NONE OF THE OTHER VOICES HAVE COLORS, HE ALSO DOESNT HAVE A SET COLOR PALLETE SINCE HE CAN BE WHICHEVER COLOR HE PREFFERS AT THE MOMENT, HE ALSO DOESNT HAVE DIGITRADE LIKE FEET SINCE I WANTED SOME SIMILARITIES OF HIM AND HERO, HE STILL HAS BIRD FEET THO THAT WILL NOT GO AWAY lol, HIS BEAK IS POINTED UPWARDS AND HIS MOUTH IS NOT REALLY A REAL THING, ITS MORE A ABSTRACT LINE

[randomsporefacts]

comic book creator research again (part 1, part 2, part 3)

resuming the misc creatures and continuing with named ones

- misc_13, was also in the wallpaper footer thing but not much else to note here

-

misc_14

the eyes definitely look very weird, otherwise this was also in the website under Guy1.gif

-

misc_15. also was in the footer thing but most of these are

-

misc_16. its ape! the eyes are remarkably red but thats it

it looks straight up the same otherwise, even the arrangement of the paints aside from the torso

it might also be aepox, which differs in the front limbs being further apart from each other, and differently sized eyes

-

misc_17 actually uses a paint from final (ce_skinpaint_theme_stanford) but i dont know why the accents are this green blue. i dont THINK theyre meant to be

-

misc_18, actually seems to have barely visible wings but theres not much to note otherwise

-

misc_19 which is Guy2.gif on the website!

-

misc_20 is the final misc creature. its rather interesting looking

theres yet more of these creations that didnt get in here it seems. Guy3.gif isnt one of the misc creatures for example. however it DOES seem to be rendered differently so maybe itll crop up

-

now resuming the normal creatures with mooseybun

this one was also in the fankit as Creature_Render_6.png. these are actually much higher quality in the fankit

-

mortlidge. not in final, not much to say here

-

nog

yup they only changed the colors (even then barely, and that might look different because of the lighting) but it still has the same paints

although curiously the paints dont cover the foot anymore

-

then theres the "other" folder which is full of cropped images of all of the misc creatures, nothing new in there so im not delving into it

pearl

actually this confirms these renders are older than the test drive screenshots of the misc creatures! look at the eyes! this is from when the neo-teeny eyes were just black orbs with eyelashes, in the test drive screenshots weve already seen it with a proper iris and pupil (if differently colored from final). also its beak is colored weird

and it kind of looks like chuchoko

[gcnpeachbeachmoved]

notes about my mario and luigi designs that ill explode if i dont point out

mario has brown eyes and luigi has his canon blue eyes!!! luigi also lightning bolt shaped highlights in them bc of thunderhand :] luigis also more well groomed!!! mario usually as messier eyebrows and chin stubble while luigi is clean shaven. luigi also has one little lash on each eye.

another thing i do differently is the hair!!! luigi has darker hair like in super smash bros and its also curlier!! this is also reflected through their body hair

(luigi also gets less sun than mario so hes a little fairer)

misc stuff:

luigis meant to be around 5 and a half feet tall while marios barely 5 feet. theyre short

mario has a dimple in his chin!!! i never draw wario but i started adding it to mirror his super exaggerated cleft chin

they are both super scratched up also!!! being tossed around by monsters for awhile will do that.

mario is much quieter than luigi and i reflect this by trying not to give him a visible mouth but sometimes its unavoidable

luigis nails are usually painted yellow!!! this isnt often obvious bc he wears gloves a lot but its peasleys signature color to make up for the lack of art i do with him bc i rlly rlly do love him and luigi as a couple.

ive had a harder time keeping up with this lately but USUALLY marios pantlegs are cuffed or cut off. the clothes that fit him would usually be too long :/

marios ears are pierced!! they were pierced when he was little, but he rarely wears earrings. see here vvvvvvv

[spnregular]

pls do a commentary on the altar

the altar is the first destiel fic i wrote for the spn fandom!! i had a vague idea of wanting to do prayer kink and it sort of spiraled out into exploring what a lack of faith could do to a couple of severely lonely guys. i still like this fic a lot but it doesnt reflect my current spn writing priorities. i AM tickled pink that you asked for this anon because it holds a special place in my heart.

for those of you who havent read it, this one is my longest spn fic (over 6k words) so this commentary will be a little long. i havent ported the whole fic in (same as the other commentaries) just the sections i wanted to say something :)

This church must have been something to see back in the day. Paper archives said it burned over a decade ago but no one wanted to fork up the cash for demolition. Dean leaned back against the crumbling, raised altar and let filtered sunlight warm his face. 

The eaves had fallen in on all sides and a cross breeze flew through, carrying the heady smell of a midwest summer. It did little to mask the burning carnage before him. Dean’s eyes lingered on a plaster bust of the Virgin Mary, painted tears still visible on her crumbling face, and tried to remember if he ever attended a full mass. 

So there’s that post about how kripke not being christian is part of what makes spn hit. The winchesters are outsiders when they're in religious settings. Churches and family homes are analogous to haunted houses, alienating and rotting. Dean’s never been part of a traditional family and he’s never attended mass. I also think a lot about how Dean and John basically canonized Mary all the time too.

Dean sighed, deep and heavy, wincing from the pain. Sam was away on another hunt, meaning Dean would have to patch himself up tonight. He palmed his side to assess the damage, fingers moving slowly and carefully. The amount of blood didn’t surprise him, nor did the evidence of broken ribs and a sprained wrist. It was the sort of regular shit that happened to guys named Dean Winchester. 

Dean is a glutton for punishment and he legitimately cannot see a life for himself outside of it. He tried! He tried his picket fence lavender marriage and like he was of course mourning sam, but also he didn’t like it. And because he didn’t like living in a nuclear family, obviously that means he should always suffer right?

“Hey, Cas,”  Dean said, continuing to limp forward, not noticing the rotten wood of the steps to the dais or even how his boot crashed right through them. 

Cas’s arms were around him before he could even register falling. Dean sharply inhaled through his nose, his own bloody hand gripping Cas’s coat as he struggled to regain his balance. He hissed through his teeth before he felt the cool touch of Cas’s fingers on his face, followed by a wave of grace.

So Dean sort of ignores many problems in his life even if theyre glaring. He ignores his controlling behavior over Sam, he ignores his glaring homosexuality, he ignores the ways in which he really hurt lisa and ben. Guy who cant face his feelings or else he’ll kill himself you know? But this leads to ruin every single time! (steps falling apart under his boot) Thankfully Dean does have an angel looking out for him.

Cas narrowed his eyes even further and gestured to the hall around them, “There are three dead demons here, Dean. This was foolish behavior.”

“It was a job,” Dean said, his voice louder than needed, “And it’s done. ‘Sides, don’t you have bigger fish to fry upstairs?” He could feel a headache coming on, the perfect cherry to this shit sundae. He needed a drink, a cigarette, both, and some fucking quiet.

“I do,” Cas snapped, “Which is why I need you to exercise basic caution and self-preservation.” With a flick of his hand, the bodies and smoke were gone leaving the church ruins hollow and bare.

Dean atp does not care lmao. This has been a horrible year. Im envisioning this scene is slightly before sam gets his soul back so dean feels like he has no one and nothing. And dean so crucially does not exist unless he has someone to attach his entire essence to. Sam is not sam, lisa doesn’t want him around, his effin grandad is the worst, everyone’s been lying to him. He’s more isolated than he’s been since the stanford era.

“Have you ever confessed, Dean?” Cas asked, turning back to Dean. Dean lost his breath as those blue, blue eyes were turned back on him, searching thoroughly. 

“‘Course not,” Dean scoffed and brushed past Cas to walk down the aisle, “Ain’t nothing I need to tell some guy in an ugly dress.” 

You know Dean, he keeps his marbles in a lead box eye roll emoji. But Cas, Cas wants to confess so so bad lmao. Angels arent supposed to lie, Angels are supposed to follow orders.

“But you do pray,” Cas pointed out.

Dean’s steps faltered and the back of his neck felt hot, “Yeah, but that… that’s just to you. You— you’re real.” He turned back to look at Cas, struck by how the light through the stained glass curved around the proud line of his jaw.

Dean really doesn’t like having faith in cas but he kinda does in his weird way. And it’s a weakness. autisticandroids has great meta on why Dean doesn’t like his special feelings for cas and yeah there’s the gay thing which is so hard for him to swallow but also having real feelings is like terrible. As much as dean craves being seen and heard and loved, that shit is frightening. 

“I suppose I was never taught to pray, to confess,” Cas said, “Angels aren’t meant to do anything that requires confession. All acts are pre-ordained and sanctioned.”

“‘Course. Father knew best,” Dean said, clenching his jaw and stuffing his hands in his back pockets. He pulled out a mostly empty pack of cigarettes. 

Dean and Cas’s shared daddy issues of course!!! And I had dean smoking in this fic because i was in the midst of quitting smoking for like the fifth time lmao. It makes me feel better lol.

“For most of my life I would have prayed directly to God,” Cas continued, “Then I think I would have prayed to my brothers and sisters.”

“Huh,” Dean said, taking the first drag of the cigarette, “Don’t think I’d be prayin’ to Sam.” Dean picked at the frayed edge of his flannel. 

Cas looked down at the dirty floor, “I would not fault you, considering recent circumstances.”

Dean hasn’t had faith in Sam since like they were kids and even then it was shaky. Sort of breaks my heart but it’s the truth. And Cas, at this point, doesn’t care for Sam that much. He may have pulled Sam out of hell but I dont think that was borne of any true affection for sam, it’s more of a “doing the right thing” sort of deal that he would have picked up from dean.

“No,” Cas said, “No, I still have faith.” His lips curled in a small smile. 

“Oh?” Dean responded, “Must be nice.”

“It is,” Cas said, “And I have faith that it isn’t misplaced.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Dean asked, a smile splayed across his face, eyebrows waggling. He ignored the way his gut clenched.

Cas turned fully to look down at him, the sun casting long shadows across his face. His eyes narrowed and head tilted, “You.”

Me when i lie…… so the summary of this is that Cas has faith in dean, but lol he really doesn’t. If Cas had faith in Dean he would have been honest, he wouldn’t be lying. This is straight up manipulation. :) cas doesnt have faith in ANYTHING atp

“That’s a lot to say to a guy,” Dean said, taking his feet down from the pew. His leg bobbed fast, “And I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life, but maybe– Maybe you should pick somebody else.”

“I don’t think I will need to ‘pick somebody else’,” Cas said, finger quotes and all, “I have faith in you, in your ideals and teachings. I have no reason to falter.”

The thing is that cas does believe that Dean is a role model (crazy) and he also believes he’s learned a lot from Dean. He admires Dean and, well, craves Dean, but he doesn’t actually think Dean would believe in him atp.

“Christ,” Dean said. 

“I’ve never felt the need to pray to him,” Cas said. 

Dean snorted, though it didn’t clear the tension coiling in his gut. “Of course you didn’t,” Dean said, still laughing. The sounds echoed through the church and dust fell from the rafters. It really was a beautiful place underneath the wreckage; carved, tall, burnt buttresses and tarnished brass finishings. Dean tried to focus again on the plaster Virgin, sitting so far away from them now. Her broken hands were clasped around some kind of flower that Dean couldn’t make out. 

Dean feels so far from someone you could have faith in. He thinks he’s the worst. Kinda like the church, there used to be something in him, something around him that one could believe in and it looked really good, like it looked strong and beautiful. But now? It’s over, it’s donezo.

Dean kept his focus on the back of the church, his face breaking out into a nervous smile “Dude, you’re kneeling in front of me in a church telling me you like, I dunno, believe in me?” Dean chuckled and shook his head, gaze flicking down to his boots. They were covered in blood and ash. 

Like a wedding….

“I suppose, I already pray to you,” Cas continued before Dean’s mind could catch up with his heart, “As it is your name I invoke when a battle seems too long or when I think I may fail. I think of you, your ingenuity, your cleverness, when I’m trying to bolster my ranks. I tell my soldiers stories of your valor and courage. Of your conviction.”

Cas has yet to try real prayer but he sure does think about dean a whole lot. That’s sort of like prayer right?

“Cas– that’s, that’s enough I get it.” Dean tried to find somewhere in the church to rest his gaze, but somehow, every cracked saint, every burnt effigy, stared back. 

“Do you?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded, keeping his gaze pinned to the floor, “Yeah, I uh. I’ve been there. Like you said, I pray to, uh, you.” His jaw clicked from pressure. 

Getting a lil gay here….

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean asked, eyes finally snapping up to look at Castiel. He flicked his finished cigarette away, his hands and lips already missing the feeling of it. He knew what to do with a cigarette, where to focus his physical attention; who knew what to do with an angel professing their unwavering faith. 

I love when dean fidgets btw, such a physical guy having a cigarette is the perfect way to look cool and calm without trying to hard.

“When you pray,” Cas said, “It is one of the only times I can feel you being honest with yourself. It wasn’t always the case. At first, you were mocking, insincere. But, over time, you’ve let yourself bleed into them. You pour yourself, your desires, your needs– all into your prayers. It is… admirable.”

“I’m honest with myself!” His voice was louder than intended. 

“Not the way you are when you pray,” Cas said, eyes unwavering in their attention to Dean, “Your prayers are beautiful, Dean.”

Getting too gay!!! But yeah often Dean prays to castiel as this like last resort and he’s desperate and he totally lets his guard down. Cas may have seen his soul but it’s incredible for him to feel dean actually baring himself to cas. It’s willing (in the way that angels perceive willingness).

“I wonder what you’d think if you could hear my prayers,” Cas said, “I doubt you’d find them as pleasing as I do yours.”

Heat pooled in Dean’s groin. He licked his lips and made himself keep eye contact with Cas. If he wasn’t standing in a church, he would say he was drowning. 

Gay thought have caught him… rip

Dean clenched his jaw. His mind was full of every thought and secret he wanted to keep tucked away. His fists clenched at his sides. It would be easy to reach a hand out and run it through Cas’s black hair. It was mussed enough already that no one would ever know. Maybe it was soft.

Cas’s eyes fluttered shut and a deep breath came through his nose, “Even when you try to keep them from me, they’re beautiful. Can I show you how it feels, Dean?”

So i spent a lot of time in the mxtx fandom and i LOVE tgcf and prayer kink. I’ve sort of self-plagiarized the idea of receiving prayers as an erotic experience from my fic you, my antagonist. I think angels get so overwhelmed by prayer and for Cas to receive prayers from Dean, the bug he doesn’t even realize he’s in love with? It’s orgasmic.

Dean could say no. Dean could walk away knowing that an angel believed in him, wanted him to know what that belief could feel like. He could live the rest of his life pretending not to know what Cas meant. He could pretend like he hadn’t tried to hold this one prayer back. 

“Sure, buddy,” Dean croaked.

So like i said before, this is a wildly lonely and low point in dean’s life. Right now, Cas is the only thing that kinda seems real. And well, he can pretend he didn’t know what was going to happen. Sort of. 

Cas nosed along the length of Dean’s still clothed, and rapidly hardening, length and said, “I would pray that you’d understand the choices I make, have made, are for you. For everyone.”

Dean licked his lips and let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling when he felt Cas fumble with his zipper. It looked like it was painted once, with angels and clouds. Classic stuff. A sigh escaped his lips as Cas’s fingers brushed through the coarse hair above his waistband. 

So im big on atmosphere in writing, i like settling into how a character perceives the space around them and how they see themselves reflected in it. Once it was probably really nice…. Now…. well…..

“I would pray for your understanding and forgiveness,” Cas said, pulling Dean’s in the waistband down to expose Dean’s dick. He ran a hand down the shaft and Dean shivered, stifling a small noise.

“Forgiv–?” Dean was cut off when Cas took Dean’s dick into his mouth without preamble. Dean groaned and braced himself with one hand on a pew, his eyes rolling back into his head. 

Cas could have confessed right there! And again, he wants to so so bad.

Didn’t seem like Cas had a gag reflex to worry about, his stubble rubbing hard into the crook of Dean’s hips as he bobbed his head back and forth. For all that Cas’s hands cooled Dean’s body, the heat of his mouth felt like a world of its own. 

How long had it been since someone looked at Dean softly like this? Since someone touched him without fear or apprehension? When was the last time someone who knew him, down to his core, down to his darkest fears, breathed into his skin? Below him, Castiel’s touch expressed no inhibitions or caveats. Cas’s touch was absolute. 

In the original draft, i had name dropped lisa because she and ben are Dean’s biggest failures in this season. My beta at the time convinced me the detail sort of killed the mood but i feel like i should have kept it in. also im big on lisa being scared of dean. I think everyone should be scared of dean tbh. She says that being with him was the best year of her life, but i bet the wild ups and downs were INSANE. Stream my girl’s in the next room for more of that.

He let himself grab at Castiel’s jacket, the stupid fucking coat he never took off. Would his shoulders look just as wide if he did? It was dirty now, from Dean’s blood, the soot of the Church. Dean twisted his hand in it hard, shuddering as he felt the musculature of Cas’s shoulders, his back. He was solid under this fucking thing, but would Dean ever see any of him?

Dean wants to know everything about the people he loves and he knows he doesn’t know everything about cas but how can he? Cas is always in heaven doing other shit when he should be with dean!! Duh!!!!

As though Cas knew what he needed, Cas shoved his hand up Dean’s shirt to grab at Dean’s waist. Dean shuddered a sigh. It shouldn’t feel like relief to have Cas’s hands hold him tight, to have his tongue run along the underside of his dick. It shouldn’t feel like he was being pulled apart and reassembled when Cas’s eyes open to look up at him through his eyelashes. Those tired eyes that have seen more than Dean will ever know, those eyes that saw him in Hell.

Atp cas has not yet learned to fear dean’s capricious and mercurial nature. He still has so much spunk and agency but he CHOOSES to come back to dean. That’s crazy for dean.

Dean’s eyes darted around, looking from his boots, to the door, to Cas’s face. He tucked himself back into his jeans and asked, “You… uh, what about you?”

Cas tilted his head, “Me?”

“You good?” Dean asked, “You want me to…?” Dean gestured with his chin towards Cas’s crotch. Cas’s slacks were obviously tented. The sight of it made Dean’s mouth water. 

Cas looked down and shook his head, “That isn’t necessary. You give me enough with your prayers.”

“Oh, okay, cool,” Dean mumbled and looked towards the open door. He shoved his hands in his pockets and balled them into fists. His blunt nails dug into the rough skin of his palms, enough to maybe bleed. “Then I guess I’ll, uh, see you around?”

“Of course, Dean. Please keep risking your life unnecessarily to a minimum,” Cas said. The telltale flutter of wings followed. 

“No promises,” Dean said to the empty church. The crumbling saints around him said nothing back.

So this is a miserable moment for dean bc he was vulnerable w cas and it just made him feel more alone than ever. Cas doesn’t get that. He barely gets how important that was for dean. He knows that sex can be used to engender camaraderie with someone but he has no concept of afterglow. He barely even understands that this was something he wanted, that closeness with dean. I also just love the image of Cas walking around with such an obvious erection and he sees no issue with that.

There are no other sounds within the universe to compare to the sound of Dean Winchester’s prayers. Once, an eon ago, on a planet made entirely of dry loam and ancient bones, Castiel was privileged enough to hear the sound of its first rain. He was there to watch the first clouds form, and to watch the first pressure system crackle with thunder and pink lightning. The sound of water hitting the parched, desperate ground could have come close. 

Perhaps it was his vessel that reacted so strongly to these prayers. Perhaps it was the bond they shared, forged with hellfire and love. All Castiel can be sure of is that Dean’s prayers cut through the carnage and wreckage of war unlike any others. 

Cas does not know that he has been in love with dean for a hot minute. He’s not even picking up on his own metaphor here.

“Do you fear me, Dean?” Cas asked.

Dean’s eyebrows raised, and he cleared his throat. Cas watched his Adam’s Apple bob before flicking his eyes back to Dean’s. “‘Course not,” Dean said and smiled, turning his head to look at Castiel. It was the same smile he used on female bartenders in low cut shirts, the ones who knew how to smile back. He managed to pull a box of cigarettes out of his jacket and shook one out. He took it in his mouth and said, “I know you’re one of the good guys.”

Dean doesn’t actually know this but he wants it to be true so so bad bc even tho atp sam has his soul back, dean is still alone. He cant really relate to sam and now sam is teamed up w bobby against his friggin special little angel guy! What the hell! AND to make things worse lmfao dean had cas wipe lisa and ben’s memories. No one knows dean and only cas didn’t judge him for making that decision. (a terrible decision dean is insane for this)

Dean leaned over to elbow Castiel’s arm. When their arms touched, like a tectonic plate, the tone shifted.

Dean’s smile faded and he turned his face back to the road. His eyes flickered back to Castiel, lingering in Castiel’s lap, maybe on his hands, before snapping back to the dimly lit road. They hadn’t spoken about the church, but Castiel felt its memory well up between them. Dean caught Castiel’s eyes again, so briefly, and he licked his bottom lip. Even in the dark of the car, the wetness of it shined and another aching note of longing wound its way into Castiel’s heart.

Two guys with crippling loneliness…. What could possibly happen…..

It was so dark, the only source of light being the waning moon overhead. Behind them, the lights of the closest city twinkled, well over 20 miles away. Castiel could still make out every inch of Dean’s face. He knew Dean couldn’t do the same. 

More of me playing with the idea that dean is in the dark about cas hehe im so artsy hehe. I do want to emphasize that this makes cas feel bad tho.

“You know, you can tell me… stuff,” Dean said, “We’d work it out. Been through enough together that we’d find a way.”

“Stuff?” How long would Dean keep believing him? How far could Castiel take this?

Guy who doesnt believe in dean…. Guilt really setting in

“Things that maybe, I dunno,” Dean shrugged, “That Sam wouldn’t understand, or maybe that you feel like you gotta keep locked up.”

Castiel said nothing.

“I could help you,” Dean continued, “I could make good on all that, uh, stuff you said a while ago.”

“A while ago?”

“The church.”

So dean does NOT know how to say what he really wants. He’s been sitting on this one moment of intimacy that was also not quite satisfactory but wondering if there could be more.

‘Castiel, please tell me. Talk to me.’

Dean like horny  praying during sex. So just like his prayers, i think dean can be honest with himself (to a certain degree) when sex is involved. He’s not totally uninhibited but he gets loose. The combo is like crazy for cas.

“Yours too,” Dean let go of Castiel’s coat to undo his trousers, pulling out Castiel’s swollen cock, “Together.”

Castiel nodded before wrapping his fingers around them both.This wasn’t something he thought to experience, not even in his wildest dreams. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

Cas wanted this to just be about reassuring dean that he’s ultimately on his side. If cas derives any real pleasure from this, then he’s really a villain, because here dean is being so sweet, so open. He wants to touch castiel and be touched and cas is fucking lying to him. 

The way Dean’s long eyelashes fanned out across the freckled apples of his cheeks made Castiel forget himself. He leaned in to brush his lips against the highest point of Dean’s cheekbone, quick and soft. A condemning touch. Dean let out the most beautiful sound when it happened, scrabbling higher to grab more of Castiel’s trenchcoat, fingers tangled in the collar, grazing against the nape of Castiel’s neck. Dean knocked their heads together and rocked hard into Castiel’s hand, hooking a leg around Castiel’s backside. 

I kinda wanted to play around with the line from s7 “the very touch of you corrupts” because well, cas is seeking that corruption. He’s not thinking of it as such, the condemnation here isn’t necessarily damning. It’s more of a “shit, im kinda boned” moment for cas because he cant lie to himself, he cant lie that hurting dean like this doesnt cut him to his fucking grace.

“But you, Dean, you, ah, ah–” Heat pooled in Castiel’s belly and his testicles tightened. He bit his own lip to keep himself in check, mouthing at the unkempt stubble along Dean’s jaw. “You pray for everyone other than yourself Dean. Even now, your prayers for me to speak… You believe it will relieve my burden.”

Dean moaned his name. Exquisite.

Cas is like overwhelmed lol. What he’s saying is true there is no one like dean to him, no comparison. And he’s losing himself in it which he cant afford.

 He sucked and bit hard, feeling Dean’s moan under his lips, and fucking against Dean hard as he rode out his orgasm. The kiss would leave a mark.

Cas loves to do this, he’s a FREAK.

He tried to lean back, up and out of Dean’s space, but was jerked back down when Dean’s hand grabbed the lapel of his jacket one last time. Dean pulled himself up into Castiel’s space and crashed their lips together, teeth clacking uncomfortably and noses bumping. Castiel grunted into the kiss, softening as Dean persisted. Dean worked Castiel’s mouth open and pushed his tongue inside, sweet and slow. They groaned into each other, tasting each other finally, for the first time. They stayed affixed to one another until Dean pulled back, chest heaving.

“Sorry, man,” Dean said through heavy breaths, “I know you didn’t want– But, you’re gonna leave, again, and I–”

Castiel’s hand cupped Dean’s jaw as he pressed another kiss to Dean’s mouth. Castiel kept his eyes open to watch Dean’s eyes flutter shut and his brow furrow.

So cas avoided a kiss because he didn’t see the need for it, it seemed so personal. In his experience a kiss was what the truly intimate did. He knew about couples and he had seen Anna and Dean kiss and well, that wasn’t something he was meant to have. (Remember Anna and Dean kissing in front of Cas………. Dreamy sigh) but Dean CRAVES intimacy more than he wants sex. He wants to feel close and he is an honest to god romantic. And a kiss would make this real and Dean wants it to be real because if it’s real then cas isnt a liar right? A guy who love him like that would lie right????

[cryptile]

as someone who hyperfixated on snakes for a bit, tell me about lizards :3

Heres some cool pet reptiles:

The emerald tree skink, i think the absolute most wonderful pet lizard ever. They are so friendly and you keep them in groups and a large interactive tank with loads of hiding spots and foliage. The most amazing part of them is how friendly and curious they are, seemingly by nature! They're known to run up to the doors of their tank whenever they see a human, and they love to climb onto arms and legs. They're rather small and very fast which is something that'd be a bad and scary thing (reptiles can be quite fragile), but if they're happy enough, they'll literslly just come back to you if they get lost. From what ive heard they just have a crazy interest with humans!

And- speaking of small lizards, the mourning geckos!! They're so so so good omg. They're TINY, all of them look exactly the same, like actually exactly identical. Why? They're all clones of eachother! All of them are the exact same female, copypasted a billion times. They reproduce asexually, they can impregnate their own eggs (actually theres a lot of animals, even mammals that can do this exact thing when in need, but it happens very rarely and its hard to study and observe). They need another member of their species to hang out with them for the eggs to get fertilized tho. Lesbian ace geckos! They also make very good pets if you like to observe. They eat fruit flies and i think also, like, standard gecko slop but idk.

And if tiny isn't your thing, you can look on the opposite spectrum of pet lizards. The argentine tegu is a HUGE lizard with a very gentle personality. If taken good care of and taught good manners, they make very smart and friendly pets. I am not sure if they drop their tail, but if they do its barely visible where they regrow it, theyre patient and can chill, like lazy scale puppies. Big fan of them, if i didnt have severe adhd and a small budget, I'd have one! I'd need a whole room of an enclosure tho :)

[el-pada]

As a certified usagi yojimbo expert how do you feel about them adding eyebrows in his 3d model design in usagi chronicles

he ugly as fuck ngl but thats kinda his curse of most adaptations, his design just doesnt hit in 3d unless its more accurate to stans style (rokutoys statues) or hella stylized (arcadia quest figures)

eyebrows dont work in his design unless theyre barely visible but ig it makes it easier to animate

another general complaint since were here is the fact that his head is clearly circle based but everyone makes it like an egg, he has a forehead yes but not a 5head

also in general he could have been sillier in usagi chronicles, his ass too serious when his whole thing is being great with kids