#theyr'e gonna kill us all

[wazzappp]

I have this. Extremely specific scenario. I like to pull off the daydream bookshelf quite a bit.

After Robbie kills Ivanov, everybody there still like. KNOWS WHERE HE LIVES. So I'm thinking some new motherfucker rises up and is like 'alright were gonna hit him where it hurts. protect future business ventures n' stuff' and sends someone to take Gabe as leverage. Lisa and Robbie have actually managed to TALK about things and once theyr'e on friendly terms again she is once again babysitting Gabe.

Anyway this mob guy shows up and attempts this kidnapping. Lisa manages to get the upperhand with a kitchen knife somehow and just. GOES HAM. LIKE. 'GETS ON TOP OF HIM AND STABS HIM TILL HES NOT MOVING ANYMORE AND THEN JUST A LITTLE EXTRA FOR GOOD MEASURE' GOES HAM. Naturally calls Robbie afterward because WHAT. This guy is clearly MOB AFFILIATED she has NO IDEA what will happen if she calls the police SO PLEASE JUST FUCKING GET HERE AND MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

It's a complete and total clusterfuck all around. For EVERYONE.

Lisa is IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS OK. SHES EARNED A LITTLE FREAK OUT. SHE JUST FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE. Jesus christ why didn't she stop after he was down why did she keep fucking going god what does that say ABOUT HER. Does she feel the right amount of bad about this? She doesent really REGRET it she just wanted to keep Gabe and herself safe. But did she really need to go that far why did she take it that far and SHE WAS READY TO DO IT AGAIN IF SOMEONE ELSE BAD WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR is something wrong with her? please dont let there be something really wrong with her shes tried so hard to be good shes tried SO hard please please she is. spiraling. bad.

Gabe is having... a fucking time of it. This is the second time in two months that someone has been killed right fucking in front of him. At least the first one he was only semi conscious for but still. @moosemonstrous helped develop two GLORIOUSLY, BEAUTIFULLY angsty directions this could go. 1. 'WOW the world is dangerous I'm so lucky that I have people who can protect me. Those guys must have really deserved it.' (bonus points if him and Lisa are still not on the best of terms but this like. endears her to him. jesus christ I love your brain moose thats so cutely fucked up). OR 2. he can go the self blaming route of 'This is the second guy to die. And he died because people were protecting me. Is this?? My fault?? Is there something wrong with me? if people keep getting hurt because of me maybe it would be better if I just wasn't around.' (<- ROBBIE GET YOUR BROTHER NOW.)

And Robbie. Jesus christ. His brain is being pulled in SO MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS BY THIS. Eli is elated, naturally, 'OHHHOHOHOHO ROBBIEEEEE I KNEW YOU HAD TO HAVE GOOD TASTE IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN CARS! See!!? I TOLD you killing is a perfectly natural part of being a person! Look at all those stab wounds she CLEARLY had a good time!' Robbies part of the brain is going 'HOLY FUCK' and IMMEDIATELY jumps to problem solving. He needs to get rid of the body first and formost at least that shouldnt be too hard oh god getting rid of bodies is something hes GOOD at what the fuck. HOW MANY?? OF IVANOVS MOB?? KNOWS WHERE HE LIVES??? Oh fuck does he have to go kill them ALL ?? (<- que Eli doing backflips out of absolute joy at that possibility) Also, brother. You cant tell me. that demons don't have weird social structures and expressions of affection. And Robbie is like. HALF DEMON. AT LEAST. So this shit for him is at least a little bit like when a cat brings you a dead animal (SHE IS SHOWING!! THE LITTLE ONE!! HOW TO HUNT!! SHE KILLED FOR HIM!! FOR US!!). IT IS. CONFUSING. FUCKING CONFUSING AS ALL HELL FOR HIM!!

Idk man this is just the particular brand of clusterfuck that is like my own personal brand of heroin to quote one sparkly boy.

[thenovelartist]

An Impromptu Proposal, 7-8

<<Previous Next>>

7. Bad Luck Charm

He was a bad luck magnet.

Looking over the Ladyblog, Adrien saw the news of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s engagement was spreading like wildfire to the point that people were insisting upon throwing them a wedding.

He thought it was a joke, but the more he looked into it, the more he realized people seemed to be very serious about it.

While he was flattered and would happily be on the planning committee if Butterlie and Mayura didn’t exist, he did have two—actually, it really was only dealing with Lila at this point because Mayura was MIA most of the time, which raised a whole new set of questions—villains he had to fight on a pretty regular basis. And this was only going to bring them out in full force. He would take any opportunity to catch them that he was offered, but in this case, that meant they would strike a highly populated area, AKA the wedding guests.

Meaning this whole thing had to be shut down, like, yesterday.

Adrien pulled up his app to text Ladybug, hoping she was available. You there, bugaboo?

It took her a moment to respond. Lunch break’s got 15 minutes. What’s up, kitty?

You see the wedding chaos on the Ladyblog?

Yup, she answered. It’s not pretty. That will only end poorly.

I know. That ring’s a bad luck charm. Any ideas on how to shut this chaos down?

My ring is not a bad luck charm!

The picture that followed showed a selfie with the top half of her head cropped out, but clearly showed her red lips tilted up in a smile and black, fitted shirt—or it could be a dress—with her ring on a chain that rested right at her breasts.

I have to hide it down my dress front or people will ask, but I want to wear it. It’s from you.

Adrien’s heart pounded in his chest, his stomach full of butterflies. Honestly, there was nothing more he wanted at the moment than to take that woman in his arms and kiss her senseless. She wore her ring in public. That gave him hope that maybe their engagement wouldn’t be too long. That maybe she was considering sharing her identity with him sooner rather than later. Though he’d happily wait for her, he wanted to make her his wife already.

That warms my heart, bug. He typed out, not knowing what else to say.

XOXO I love you, kitty.

I love you more.

Not possible.

Totally possible.

Back to the wedding chaos, she typed, because you aren’t going to win this one, do you have any plans, or is this all on me.

I’ve had that ring for three years. I win. And of course, it’s not all on you. Your partner is more than happy to share the burden.

There was a long pause for her response. Three years?

Adrien grinned. Yes. Do you want to know the date, because I remember it vividly.

Another pause. I don’t know why I’m surprised. This is you. You’re extra.

Because it’s YOU and YOU deserve it ;D

How’d I fall for you?

Well, you came flying through the sky one day and fell on me. You tell me.

You’re such a dork.

YOUR dork.

I regret accepting your proposal.

Adrien sniggered, knowing how much she meant that. Says the woman wearing the engagement ring I gave her on her neck.

Another silence. Uh oh. I might have to jet early.

Go. I don’t want to hold you up.

Sorry, kitty.

He then got two photos in rapid succession. One of her fingers pressed to her lips, and the other of her blowing something off her hand.

He smiled. She was blowing him a kiss.

Love you! I’ll be thinking of what to do about the wedding thing when I have a spare moment.

Quickly as he could, he took two pictures making a show of catching that kiss and holding it against his heart. Love you too. And don’t worry too much about it now. We can figure something out later.

I’d just like to nip this in the bud. She shot back. GTG TTYL.

ttyl

Adrien set down his phone, stupid smile plastered on his face. No, it wasn’t exactly a productive conversation, but it certainly lifted his spirits today to see his Ladybug. Particularly when she was sending him photos.

He reached for his phone again, opening the app just to look at the two pictures. He saved them, setting the one of her blowing a kiss towards him as his home screen wallpaper. He’d love to set it as the lock screen one, but considering no one knew about her yet, he just couldn’t take the chance of someone seeing

A knock came from his door, startling him, yet he called out “come in.”

He was surprised to see Marinette there. He had to do a double take, seeing her red lips and black dress that looked a little too much like his lady.

“We have a problem.”

Adrien completely deflated. “Wonderful. Just the words I wanted to hear today.”

“You think I wanted to tell you?” she asked, giving him a curious once over that was almost quick enough to miss.

“Probably not because it sounds like it’s going to be more work for you,” he said, ignoring it.

She scoffed. “You got that right. Follow me?”

He sighed, then stood. “Why not. I didn’t have enough bad luck today. Let’s go.”

  8. Homework

“Called us in to help with homework, huh?”

Ladybug turned around to see Rena Rouge approach with Carapace not far behind.

“Yeah,” Ladybug said. “A certain reporter caused us some serious trouble.”

Rena sniggered and tossed her hands in the air. “Guilty as charged. But in my defense, I didn’t think that it would cause as big of a stir as it did. Specifically, in Paris’s sudden ‘let’s throw a wedding for them’ desire. And you know my rules—”

“If we don’t want it on the Ladyblog, do it out of the suit,” Ladybug said, recalling that specific conversation with Alya.

“Exactly. So, sorry if Chat’s gonna propose in camera distance on the freaking Eiffel Tower.”

Ladybug sighed, rubbing her eyes. “No, it’s… You’re right. We were stupid. Frankly, neither of us were thinking at the moment.”

“So, the proposal was a spur of the moment thing?” Rena asked, looking rather excited at the prospect.

Ladybug leveled Rena with a glare. “Off-the-record?”

Standing like a soldier, Rena held up her hand. “Off-the-record, will not hit the blog.”

At least Marinette could trust Alya with that. “It started as us joking around and then all of a sudden, Chat’s saying things like ‘yeah, well, I actually have a ring’ and I was in shock and didn’t believe him, and then he was all ‘yeah, I’ll go get it’ and next thing you know… well, you were there.”

Rena squealed, doing a little happy dance. “Ugh! My ship is sailing. I couldn’t be any happier unless I was getting married.”

Ladybug snorted as she glanced over at Carapace’s face. He shot her a wink, not knowing that she was the woman he came crawling to not two days ago begging for help ring shopping.

“So, you and Chat are actually getting married?” Rena asked. “Like, soon? Or…”

Ladybug shrugged. “We don’t know. We really just… don’t want it to be a hazard or an event that Lila or Mayura can take advantage of. The important thing is that we shut it all down. We’ll marry in private.”

In that moment, Chat and Queen Bee arrived.

“About time,” Carapace teased. “Thought I was gonna be the only guy here.”

“Sorry for leaving you to the girls,” Chat teased back, giving Carapace a fist bump. If Ladybug were being honest, as much as she loved having Chat to herself, she could tell how important it was for Chat to have a bro-friend. She bet he and Nino would get along swimmingly in real life. Heck, Chat would probably get along with Adrien, too. From the sounds of it, Chat needed as many solid friends and as much support as he could get in his life.

“So what’s the big deal?” Queen Bee sassed. “You and Chat can have the wedding, we patrol it, and by the time that any serious problem arises, you’re both happily married. So you may not be able to go on a honeymoon or anything, but I could help plan a getaway in or around Paris for you. Close enough, right?”

Ladybug never knew how to read Queen Bee. She had such an attitude and didn’t seem to know what a filter was, yet it was clear she cared. Sometimes, Marinette wondered if she could possibly become friends with whoever Queen Bee was in real life like she was with Alya or Nino. “Yeah, but what about the people who gather for the wedding? Wouldn’t it be best to just stop this so there isn’t some large conglomerate of people for Butterlie to attack?”

“Who said anything about there being anyone attending that wedding other than someone to broadcast it?” Queen Bee snipped, shocking everyone in attendance. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to let anyone near you when you and Chat were getting married? It’s called ‘a safety hazard’. You and Chat are famous. If there were people actually in attendance, you’d have to pull the whole police force to keep the crowd down and the crazy fans away. Puh-lease. That would just be a mess. No. It’s best if you just figure out where to hold a wedding, have the Ladyblogger broadcast it because at least she knows how to be respectful of the fact you’re getting married and won’t be yammering or trying to swarm you the moment the wedding’s over. Simple enough.”

There was a shocked silence on the rooftop. If Ladybug were being honest, she wasn’t exactly sure how to process this. She was expecting them to come up with reasons to not have any wedding, yet…

“That’s genius!” Rena cried. “And we could hide the location and everything until the last moment and not have to worry about anyone. I never would have even thought of that.”

“Exactly,” Queen Bee said with a proud smile. “None of you know what it’s like to be famous like I do, so of course I’d come up with a solution.”

Ahh, there’s the Queen Bee we’ve come to know and love.

While Rena and Queen Bee started duking it out with Carapace reluctantly getting in the middle to separate the girls, Chat sided up to Ladybug. “So, it sounds like our plan to talk people out of throwing us a wedding is a bust,” he whispered.

“Queen Bee won’t let that go, will she?” Ladybug said.

“From the sounds of it, Rena won’t want to, either.”

Ladybug hummed. “So… we’re getting married, it sounds like.”

He chuckled, resting his chin on her shoulder while his hands fell on her hips. “You make that sound like it’s a bad thing, bug. You were the one to accept that ring, after all.”

“That’s true,” she said, shifting a half step back closer to him. Besides, it wasn’t like they had to get married in real life yet. This was all a show. Make the public happy, raise morale. Have a little fun in doing it.

Chat kissed her cheek. “I think maybe we should break that up,” he said, motioning toward the fight Carapace was literally in the middle of now.

“For Carapace’s sake,” Ladybug agreed. “Yeah, we probably should.”

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

(it was abt this post https://athenadark.tumblr.com/post/667313206992289792/we-dont-appreciate-the-fact-that-bruce-wayne-is-a)

(birria is @mxbbadperson)

Polaris : "honestly I don't think there will ever be a better time for this" ME NEITHER BUDDY

Birria : batman, after hearing the fuck, marry, kill game for the nth time: i... HAVE HAD /ENOUGH/

Polaris : He's at his limit!!

Polaris : Jason, in the corner, filming it all to send to everyone with barely contained snickers : no no guys please go on tell us what you'd do to Bruce wayne

Polaris : thinking about... Small Robin Jason sneaking into the justice league meetings (the ones that derail into ridiculousness) and just filming it all to send to Alfred because it's comedy gold - years later, the red hood still has the videos for good natured blackmail.

Birria : jason finally does what only batman can do. take down the justice league

Polaris : it's a family trait.

Robin Jason : *sends videos of the meetings to Alfred because theyr'e hilarious* even Alfie will have to laugh to this :D

Red hood Jason when he realizes he still has the videos : *lightbulb going off with nuclear force* oh WAIT

Birria : fighting the justice league? nah. blackmailing the justice league? oh hell yes

Polaris : Why fight when you can BLACKMAIL

Birria : watch the hope in their eyes DIE without throwing a punch lmao

Polaris : Jason : yeah I may not be able to defeat superman but he sure as hell can't defeat me. Unless he wants the public to know what exactly he's like when drunk. It's not pretty by the way.

Birria : listen. listening to superman describing how he'd bang bruce wayne was agony so of course jason's gonna milk the recording for everything superman has lmao

Polaris :... The only one Jason doesn't blackmail is wonder woman because 1) he would never, 2) she's his favorite hero, and 3) he has a healthy fear of here, and he's not ashamed to admit it.

Diana just enjoys the chaos with glee

Birria : diana makes eyes contact with jason and jason is Afraid

Birria : diana, politely: hello jason, what do you have there

jason, terrified: ...a smoothie

Polaris : Diana, after assuring that she is exempt of the blackmail, helps Jason with barely restrained giggles because it's not often she gets to mess with her colleagues so thoroughly. Jason is delighted (both because he's working with his fave hero and because of what they're working on)

Polaris : Diana is exempt of blackmail because she's an ACCOMPLICE!!

Birria : she is the WORST enabler

Polaris : Also I think blackmail would not work very well on her because she's not ashamed of herself in the slightest