#they've broken their endless cycles

[aliceofclover125]

FINALLY we know what the fuck goes down after NieR Automata ending E

Took all my willpower not to sob lmao

[justsalpals]

The Princess and her bird man are the only straight people I respect

JK actually they're unfathomable gods of chaos and quiet and transformation, an eldritch being who was once one who was ripped in two with a blunted knife and now lays in broken glass across the cabin floor, trapped in an endless cycle of torment and bloodlust and fear and betrayal and overwhelming love, a dance they've chained themselves to just as much as the man who trapped them there because falling out of step means they will trample universes in their wake but what does that matter when they have each other

and if that's not queer culture, I don't know what is

[puppy-phum]

i saw someone say that once you start rewatching fangs of fortune, you realize the show is a huge circle and everything that happened and was said in the beginning, comes around in the end. this is often the case with stories where foreshadowing is a big element and dialogues and visual clues have been deliberately chosen to make sense later on.

so i really shouldn't be surprised but i honestly gasped out loud while rewatching the second ep last night and we get the scene in the beginning where zhao yuanzhou asks zhuo yichen to make a vow about killing him, and the dialogue goes like this:

zhuo yichen: "you really want to die?"

(considering that by the end of the series, zhao yuanzhou really doesn't want to, regrets it even. he doesn't want to leave behind the ppl he's come to love and cherish and who treat him like family. he is making the ultimate sacrifice willingly, yet he wishes it didn't have to happen, that he had more time, that it didn't hurt his most precious ppl so much. even when his death is an honor and a relief, he hates that it still manages to cause pain.)

zhao yuanzhou: "yes. and i must die by your hand."

(bc they cannot change yinglong's prophecy no matter how much they try and how much they come to dread it. bc it has always been zhuo yichen who needs to kill zhao yuanzhou bc that's how they've been written in history. they're part of an endless cycle where zhuo yichen is meant to kill zhao yuanzhou to save the world.)

someone save me, i want to chew on broken pieces of glass

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

heavy is the hand that wears the ring

"We die so that innocents don't, it's as simple as that. When you put on the ring, the life you lead stops being your own." -Deegan (Green Lantern: Emerald Knights)

There's a heaviness to Green Lantern rings that has nothing to do with the cosmic metals they're forged from, or the incomprehensibly advanced technology packed into them. Some say it's the weight of responsibility, Green Lanterns are charged with protecting the innocent across the universe. And sure, if you're any sort of hero who takes their duty seriously, this is part of it. But it's not the whole.

Every Green Lantern knows that the rings only seek out new wearers when the previous one is no longer fit to serve. A nicer way of saying that they are dead (or are as good as dead to their former comrades, if they've turned oathbreaker). To grow old in the Corps is a privilege, but no Green Lantern ever lives long enough to retire, because the sentients who are chosen to wear the ring are not the kind of people who can ignore the call to arms even when it will kill them.

For some, the ring comes shining from the heavens like a falling star, wiped clean of any trace of its last bearer. They're only told that they were chosen for their ability to overcome great fear and welcomed to the Corps like it's an honor and not a death sentence. Not that it would make a difference. Others take the ring from the broken and bloody fingers of their dying predecessors, and they swear the oath anyway.

(There are many kinds of courage, and the Guardians of the Universe learned long ago that the most useful is the kind that can look death in the eye and keep marching forward.)

There is a heaviness to Green Lantern rings that comes from the countless souls who have died wearing them. It is the weight of lives that will be lost in a cycle as endless as the circle that is the heart of the Corps' symbol. Your predecessor died for you to receive this ring. Before them was someone else. When you die, it will pass on to another. And so forth.

There's blood on your (successor's) ring, and it isn't will be yours.

[journey-to-the-attic]

Do you think IK or the brothers would ever find out about all the times she's died in past loops? Does Barbatos even know, would he tell them if he did?

i feel like barbatos would figure out pretty quickly that ik's appearance is an anomaly within the way things usually happen in the loop, and if i were to put an ironic torturing-him twist on this - potentially this is the first cycle where he 'gives up', i.e. takes a step back and doesn't try to interfere - so he realises that he's been making things worse the whole time by involuntarily causing ik's premature deaths

honestly i think he'd just keep it to himself entirely, out of guilt and also not wanting to ruin everyone else's mental states with the knowledge of these endless cycles that they haven't even noticed they've been trapped in. he doesn't see a reason to burden ik in particular with the idea that she's 'meant to be dead', so he doesn't say anything

though potentially ik herself becomes aware on her own, and barbatos admits what he knows upon being confronted. mayhaps one will become fully aware of the cycle upon death, but will forget by the next time it begins again, and ik (who cannot seem to stay dead ever) has another dies-but-is-brought-back-within-the-same-timeline experience that leaves her aware

alternatively we leave the poor kid alone and she breaks them all out of the cycle with the power of love and empathy, and barbatos just eventually comes to peace with the fact that he couldn't have ever done that on his own. maybe once he's sure they've broken out of the loop, he'd confide in diavolo, but even then he'd want to leave ik and the brothers in peace

(don't get me started on how the brothers would react if they became aware of the previous deaths. i feel like, as cruel as time is, they'd have been involved in a significant number of them - whether or not having done so directly, maliciously or carelessly - especially since poor barbatos is the one that keeps accidentally aggravating them)

[mystery-salad]

She's just so!!!!!!! She can't be fixed! She's so fucking broken and her life is such a tragedy, and there is no redemption path she can ever find.

He life trajectory was determined by so many other people and she knows this and she hates this, but there's no way to undo it and she can't trust anyone else to do better by her even when they've been shown to try...

And despite all of that, she still ended up attaching her feelings to another. She didn't want to, and god she wants that connection gone, when someone mentioned it once she nearly killed that person then and there.

She was once defined to help the Commander, her wyld hunt was once to work at their side with another, help save the world help end the dragon cycle. If the nightmare raid hadn't happened she would be loved and cherished and have a family

But instead she was abused and warped and in a twisted way tied to the dragon cycle without ever once stepping foot near any of it. All it took was too much raw magic saturation in the air...the tests done on her turned her into a generator, trying to create and manage so much leyline energy that her body wasn't meant for. All it took is one too many dragons dying and *pop*

And you'd think that would be the end but *it isn't*, because those fuckers and whatever they did to her aided in her healing abilities. The magic coursing through her body constantly degrading her also helps keep her going. Unable to move unable to scream, laying in a crater that was once the tiny sliver of space she called an excuse for a home until that one person she attached her feelings to came to check on her and found her in that state.

And they couldn't do anything, Strair's a spy not a medic by any measure. They can patch up a quick injury her and there but they have their own shit coping methods and a damn good healer friend to make sure they don't die in turn from their own deal. But that medic is busy right now, tied up with the Pact. With the commander. With the people that Illiadde was once...meant to be with...

So they take her there, a wanted criminal with a past tied to the Commander already in ways that no one could blame Laighe for turning them both away.

But she doesn't, she's had her own long fight her own endless traumas...she and illiadde are closer in understanding than they've ever been, not that illiadde would know. Not that she'd ever *let* illiadde know. All illiadde knows is she wakes up on another operating table. Like when she was young and everything lead to more pain and more tests

So she does the only thing that makes sense to her, she rips off a restraint and fucking throws the medic working on her hard enough to tear their arm off. They barely make it out of the room and she's locked down in it until she runs out of energy and passes back out to be restrained again.

She keeps trying. She can't stay here and there is no reason to her that anyone would help her. It's never been done, it's not an option. Ever. She knows she won't be helped, more than can't.

She gets lucky though, the sylvari she was once meant to work alongside to help the Commander, who remembers her from their dreams...she doesn't recognize them those memories don't even exist for her any more. But all it takes is some unlocked doors, some diverted guards. And she's out again. And she's alone still. And still broken in a way that can't be fixed and all that help did was prolong it, her life saved but no progress made.

She'll only ever be a weapon and she will keep losing everything.

[katyspersonal]

That one interpretation about Micolash’s fate now lives rent free in my head. I’m not opposed to the notion of him dying once and for all, and I like the irony of a scholar obsessed with the pursuit of knowledge spending his last moments in ignorance. But being forever trapped in his own mummified body seems like the perfect punishment and suits the theme of hopelessness so well. For someone who despised his humanity so much, who went above and beyond to escape the limitations of his body, being forced back into his pathetic, frail, powerless body must be pure torture. Once Micolash’s consciousness is brought back, he’ll have all eternity to ponder over the fact that his efforts were fruitless and he’s nothing but a withered corpse, a manifestation of human fragility and mortality. But in contrast to the situation with Lovecraft’s priest, there’ll be nobody around to destroy his brain and end his sufferings.

No, this is absolutely valid, and from the standpoint of a person that gives "proper" judgement to Bloodborne characters - yeah, he "deserved" it!

I just have a completely different way to look at the things, and Soulsborne games offer me the most freedom in this. Like I said, the whole theme of 'fate worse than death' applied to the war criminals we meet in these games just doesn't do anything to me. Doesn't make me mad (because, again, they probably "deserve" it) but also doesn't really excite me... The problem with Soulsborne settings is that things are so chaotic and flipped upside down that morality, principles and and judgement as we know them no longer apply in my opinion- heck, I always said I can't really guilt characters like Aldrich or Rykard for how much atrocities they've committed, because the world they're in is so fundamentally broken and doomed that in the end, what they'd have to do to escape it no longer matters...? Elden Ring didn't touch upon it well enough, and even gave us *gasp* OPTIMISM!!!!, but Dark Souls totally falls for this... mess.

On the other hand, characters like Allant or Shabriri in my interpretation I'd totally say deserved "real" judgement. And Micolash is kinda complicated... He falls exactly in the middle. Dude did quite the unthinkable things to break free from the humanity, but also his setting kinda falls for the trope of "humanity is doomed anyways" and his only fault is that he tried to escape, whatever it takes, rather than pull the whole 'I will perish but at least not lose my human decency uwu' thing. For most people, choosing the latter feels like an axiom and they don't need reasoning to why it is "the only acceptable way", but for this type of high IQ investigators not necessarily so. Because hooooow many tiiiiimes you fuckers need an evidence that huge intellect caaaaaan be as much of a cuuuuuurse.

But, again, Bloodborne setting is less obviously... that. Dark Souls IS doomed, yes. Bloodborne is, like... well, he is (presumably) stuck in the city that will wither under endless cycle of the hunt no matter what. So I speculate his problem (and many other characters') is witnessing the knowledhe humans were not meant to see - and losing the sight of worth of his humanity as a result. Again, the smarter you are - the more damaging this effect will be! More simple-minded people would be able to withstand the comprehension of futility of humanity and the cyclic trap that deems both beasthood and Kinship meaningless because "but humanity is still important just because". (Also love how Bloodborne itself addresses this complexion by the fact that the higher person's Insight level is, the stronger Frenzy damage they take!)

__________________

Basically, what I am saying is, this is a "satisfying" fate for Micolash by common logic.. But I personally would rather either let the guy die a real death, or let him be reborn into something else. His setting and the things he learned make his pursuit to transcend humanity at all cost not only fair in my eyes, but even couragerous, in a way. Actually.....

^^^ what really skewed my perspective on most of the Soulsborne's "war criminals" was Miyazaki himself perceiving Fauxsefka as a heroine xD I was instantly able to decipher it as the fact that her courage is doing a 'morally reprehensive' thing (turning people into cosmic Kin) for the greater good (so they lose any chance to become the beasts instead). Not everyone will "dirty" their own hands for some greater idea. But, yeah, Micolash is likely not 'heroic', as he simply cared for helping himself. The only other Mensis scholar we know of is Damian, who actively works against Mico's goals (which is very telling); the other participants of his ritual are prisoners (damn, Miyazaki, can we go against the dilemma of "deciding for everyone else" for ONE game??).

I am glad that you've found a resolution for Micolash's arc that is very satisfying and exciting for you, though! This sorta thing always feels cathartic!

[saiakv]

❛  i’ve never felt such an instant connection with anyone else before.  ❜ it's almost as if he's mimicking human sentimentality. considering what he allows (and typically actively wants) geto to do to him, there has to be some semblance of truth to it. still, a confession like this from mahito is odd - even of mahito himself. as if realizing the implications went deeper than how he intended them to mean, the curse pouted. looking a touch irritated with himself both from what was blurted out and the slight warmth that now arose in his face. :I

prompt I have lost : not accepting

Oblivious to the choir of moans and grunts surrounding the two of them, the curse user cuts through the plastic wrapping of a de-frosted pre-packaged supermarket meal with the butter knife his date provided for him. In the chaos that spread around them, one could see the fragmented understanding of a curse on human customs — whimsically, people turned furniture decorated the dining space, with a background of a sewage pipe that somewhat resembled a fountain and fairy lights ( that Kenjaku was fairly sure they saw Mahito steal from a couple of campers a mere few hours ago ) The atmosphere was set with candles and the scratch of a broken record player that occasionally managed to utter pieces of classical music — and the timbre of groans from the man who served as their dining table, every time some wax dripped onto its surface.

Geto had been on the cusp of sampling the beef stew, when his companion's admission had the spoon lower ( the person it was made from gargled with the juices ) Violet eyes snapped up to meet an averted, mismatched gaze. His puckered lips relaxed to a pout in turn. For a moment, their brow quirks; could it be that he knows?

Could it be that his youth has finally caught up to his anciency, and he remembers their endless encounters throughout the ages? In every shape and form they've known him — from his unique aura as the curse that reigns over all others. The Curse of Humanity. Kenjaku has chased it cycle after cycle, life after life; and countless times it has only barely escaped his grip.

But not this one, it would seem. Pause. A coy smile creeps on Suguru Geto's lips with that realization. They've caught him.

Suddenly, his hand darts over the table, grabbing the curse's own where it rests. The motion rattles everything atop it, but Geto only hunches further over the shattered plates and arrangement of wilted flowers. It is a scene straight out of Hanami's favorite soap operas — given a grotesque touch. His brows curl with a softened gaze.

❝ I understand, Mahito-kun. ❞ Head cants; releasing dark strands that tickle the contorted man's nose; he cries and it spills down the table's edge. Geto's grip is warm when it cusps that deathly hand between his own, the tone affectionately placid. One palm breaks away to tuck a strand of grey away from flustered features ( is he seriously blushing too? man, this curse has a penchant for drama — it endears him to them ) ❝ I feel like I have known you forever. ❞

[crow-ooc]

C- corrfitti

endless cycle of destruction. the MISMATCH between the way they communicate. the way that they will never understand each other in the way the other person wants them to. the way that in ANY OTHER UNIVERSE they would've found each other and maybe fallen in love. the series of horrible coincidences and stories that they've had up to this point making it so, so hard for them to even look each other in the eye. how do you rectify a broken promise? how do you fix a relationship that was doomed from the start?

[innerlmnt]

Thanks for the rather civil reply, and I can understand your pain. But I wish you don't assume that as a Jew I automatically support whatever Nethayahu does. Likewise that I don't assume all Palestinians support Hamas. I wish there could have been another solution to the endless cycle of violence, but unless there is real effort for the reconciliation of both sides, the devastation would unfortunately continue. I don't wish to see any more violence either. And it's not that reconciliation was impossible; the closest were the Oslo Accords and the Camp David summits. But peace efforts have since derailed

And sorry to burst your bubble too, but plenty of ceasefire proposals have also been outrageous against Israeli terms, and understandably rejected. Even the one before Rafah was one the Hamas only accepted and agreeable to their side than Israel's. The Hamas even also rejected other ceasefire deals when asked to even return hostages who are alive. https://www.jns.org/hamas-reportedly-rejects-ceasefire-offer-in-cairo/. We cant expect terrorists to be reasonable. Hamas has broken every agreement they've ever entered into with Israel. All they do is use the time to rearm and grow more fighters.https://www.scmp.com/news/world/middle-east/article/3261940/hamas-says-it-will-not-compromise-further-israel-win-gaza-ceasefire?utm_source=rss_feed

Thank you for the cordial reply again. But I think we can agree to disagree on this conflict

It is particularly upsetting that the shots are being called by a genocidal colonial state, and a resistance that commited atrocities to start any progress - atrocities that even Palestinians don't endorse, but they see as the only way forward after exhausting all other options.

The most we can truly do so far is apply pressure on Israel to stop its strikes, for Hamas to concede, and for Israel's allies to stop supporting this genocide (be it financially or otherwise). And that unfortunately falls on us civilians. Civil protests, blockades on weapon shipments, boycotts, fundraising - well-organized efforts on the part of the Rest of the World. They are our current key to try and slow down the attacks, if not stop them entirely. War and genocide are expensive. Cutting off funding keeps Israel scratching its pockets.

I wish diplomacy had been the path forward this whole time. Now I just can't stop thinking about the people of Palestine struggling right now, because of Israel using revenge against Hamas as a scapegoat for genocide.

Thank you as well on your end, for understanding where I'm coming from. That's as much as I can hope for anybody in this whole mess. I'm still learning, so I don't know everything. I don't live there, and know a total of 1 person who is Palestinian and a handful of Jewish people (none from Israel). I can't exactly draw from their experiences, but from what I'm reading across the net. Forgive me if I make any mistakes along the way.

[ashotasfireandasdeepastheocean1]

.🌺

“Women change their mood with the moon, dance with roots, blood and tides. The women sing songs that only the soul can hear and cry in a long-forgotten language. Women hold wisdom in their bodies and give birth to dreams in rhythm with the rush of the river. Women know how to be fluid. Women know when to let go of pain, pain that has always been too much to share. Women keep secrets hidden in their bones, and leave traces of themselves that their daughters can find when they disappear. And if you've ever wondered why women change their minds like the wind, it's because they've had to learn to feed themselves with elusive things like words, perfume, and moonlight. Women are born to embrace, soothe and mend brokenness, hunger and loss of innocence. That is why women walk like a slow rumble of thunder. That's why women spend an eternity weaving velvet, candles and magic into a fabric that will never be altered, despite nights spent hunting the savage, melancholy desires, mornings of endless drudgery and a entire life to create love for others. Women know why the seasons must change, and why the cycles of life, death and rebirth do not change. And like the dark side of the Moon, women know more than they can ever show you.”

Leesa Wilson

.🌺

.

“Les femmes changent d'humeur avec la lune,dansent avec les racines, le sang et les marées. Les femmes chantent des chansons que seule l'âme peut entendre et pleurent dans une langue oubliée depuis longtemps. Les femmes détiennent la sagesse dans leur corps et donnent naissance à des rêves en rythme avec la ruée de la rivière. Les femmes savent comment être fluides. Les femmes savent quand il faut laisser aller la douleur,la douleur qui a toujours été trop lourde à partager. Les femmes gardent des secrets cachés dans leurs os, et laissent des traces d'elles-mêmes que leurs filles pourront retrouver quand elles disparaîtront. Et si vous vous êtes déjà demandé pourquoi les femmes changent d'avis comme le vent, c'est parce qu'elles ont dû apprendre à se nourrir avec des choses insaisissables comme des mots, le parfum, et le clair de lune. Les femmes sont nées pour embrasser, apaiser et réparer les cassures, la faim et la perte de l'innocence. C'est pourquoi les femmes marchent comme un lent grondement de tonnerre. C'est pourquoi les femmes passent une éternité à tisser du velours, des bougies et de la magie en un tissu qui ne sera jamais altéré, malgré des nuits passées à chasser le sauvage, des désirs mélancoliques, des matins de corvées sans fin et une vie entière à créer de l'amour pour les autres. Les femmes savent la raison pour laquelle les saisons doivent changer, et pourquoi les cycles de la vie, de la mort et de la renaissance, ne changent pas . Et comme le côté obscur de la Lune, les femmes en savent bien plus qu'elles ne pourront jamais vous montrer”.

 Leesa Wilson.

[lackadaisical-lesbian]

I'm thinking about how badly the Percy Jackson universe is begging for change, yet stubbornly refuses to do so.

Think about it. The demigods are stuck in an endless loop they did not ask for; monsters that can never be truly killed because they just respawn, suffering grudges born thousands of years before their time, wars of rebellion begging to be won. The universe is in a cycle. The primordial gods made it all, the Titans over threw their oppressive father, the Gods doing the same to theirs. But then it just... Stopped. There was no next generation of slightly-more-righteous rulers. The God's have ruled for a millennial, yet they remain. The world has undeniably moved on; a bronze age, an agricultural revolution, an industrial revolution, a technological revolution- by all logic, they've vastly outstayed their welcome. They retain old traditions no one quite remembers the purpose of and they've been abandoned by a vast majority of the populace. The Roman gods should have replaced them in an epic battle of the ages, but they didn't. They evolved and merged until they struggled to differentiate themselves and avoid identity crisis.

The demigods are born for this age. They understand the world- what it needs, how it works- in a way the Gods do not and Cannot. They can become known to the public(Percy is internationally famous in tlt, Piper, Jason, and Thalia have famous parents) they have compassion where the gods have become out of touch with the mere concept. They're angry and abused, like Zeus and his father before him.

But it doesn't change. The gods make up rules and quest, have convinced these kids that 'this is life and you're lucky to have made it this far, so thank us'. The ones that want change have gone about it wrong. They brought in Kronos and Gaea, monarchs of forgotten ages; those deities got their time, and were duly replaced. To reinstate them would be to replay an era long since past, and no longer needed. They are not the fated revolution; history repeats, but it does not rewind.

The Titans and Giants were not the answer, but a revolution must be had. Before the line is tarnished anymore, something has to give. The halfbloods have been beaten and broken, they use weapons of old, replay old grudges, and in their old Greek/Roman attire and training they stick out in the modern age; they've been held back while the world evolved.

So something needs to be changed, and it needs to be them. They need to be the ones to instate a new rule, before the universe is messed up any further. Fate is screaming out to them with increasingly peril threats of old, with large powers at play that refuse to lend a hand. These kids do so much for their parents, but the gods just keep biting the hand that feeds them. It's time they bite back.

They wouldn't even be hopeless; it fits with the history(the Gods were greatly outnumbered, and the Titans had to fight the sky itself). They are increasingly strong and have defeated gods already. They beat Time and Earth. The gods rely on them: they do their dirty work, they keep them alive and powerful through prayer, they protect them. As much as their parents refuse to admit it, they would be dead without their children. They could fight, and they could win.

The world is begging for change, so change it.

[flipwizardmcgay]

the problem is, I think, that I want too much.

I care too much.

my hope takes flight too easily, love spilling between the scared, scarred edges of my heart like the blood that's supposed to be there, my anxiety and fear the knife slipped between my ribs, coaxing it out to turn to pain and loneliness, the crash and burn making the echoing impact of loss reverberate through my veins

I am only just now starting to recognize it, you see.

now starting to recognize the cycle of up and down, of missing and wanting

and I don't know if they've ever really known me

if the me I was was truly me at all

if the comfort I find in myself now is truly real

if the identity you See is just another mask, another fragile creation to be forgotten and broken by yet another careless hand

it's so hard to ask, for the things I truly want

(to be held, to be cared for the way I care for you, friendship and love and no expectations but to just be)

I keep finding my mouth opening, though

but ironically, the cracks and breaks form a wall then, a mask, keeping me silent.

scared

the knife in my bleeding, aching heart on my sleeve put there by my own fucking goddamn clumsy hand

the words just tumbling endlessly through my head, out my eyes and down my cheeks.

the endless want and pain unseen and unheard and it's getting harder and harder to keep patching back up-

my problem, you see, is wanting too much

[ellasaustralia]

10 Interesting Australian Novels

1.)Shards By Shane Jiraiya Cummings

"Shards is dark fiction at its shortest and sharpest, a collection of disturbing stories from Australia's master of dark flash fiction, Shane Jiraiya Cummings. Each shard is an imaginative fragment, broken, sharp, and poised to draw blood."(Goodreads.com)

2.)Mutability of the Flesh by Matthew Trait

"Bone and sinew, veins and blood, piloted around by a mysterious force called consciousness.The human animal.Mark Tanner is more aware of his anatomic makeup than most. And his severe germaphobic OCD only makes the realization all the more potent. An employee at House of Haiti, Mark battles his disorder by giving rigorous attention to the store’s mannequins. With his appearance almost mirroring that of the mannequins in his phony smile and posture, he soon discovers he may have even more in common with the plastic tribe."(Goodreads.com)

3.)Last Year,When We Were Young by Andrew J. McKiernan

"'Last Year, When We Were Young' brings together 16 tales that defy conventions of genre and style, every one with an edge sharper than a razor and darker than a night on Neptune.From the darkly hilarious "All the Clowns in Clowntown" to the heart-breaking and disturbing title story, this debut collection from multi-award nominated author and illustrator Andrew J McKiernan pulls no punches."(Goodreads.com)

4.)Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

"A brilliant literary debut, inspired by a true story: the final days of a young woman accused of murder in Iceland in 1829.Set against Iceland's stark landscape, Hannah Kent brings to vivid life the story of Agnes, who, charged with the brutal murder of her former master, is sent to an isolated farm to await execution.Horrified at the prospect of housing a convicted murderer, the family at first avoids Agnes. Only Tóti, a priest Agnes has mysteriously chosen to be her spiritual guardian, seeks to understand her. But as Agnes's death looms, the farmer's wife and their daughters learn there is another side to the sensational story they've heard.Riveting and rich with lyricism, Burial Rites evokes a dramatic existence in a distant time and place, and asks the question, how can one woman hope to endure when her life depends upon the stories told by others?"(Goodreads.com)

5.)The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough

"The Thorn Birds is a robust, romantic saga of a singular family, the Clearys. It begins in the early part of the 20th century, when Paddy Cleary moves his wife, Fiona, and their seven children to Drogheda, the vast Australian sheep station owned by his autocratic and childless older sister; and it ends more than half a century later, when the only survivor of the third generation, the brilliant actress Justine O'Neill, sets a course of life and love halfway around the world from her roots.The central figures in this enthralling story are the indomitable Meggie, the only Cleary daughter, and the one man she truly loves, the stunningly handsome and ambitious priest Ralph de Bricassart. Ralph's course moves him a long way indeed, from a remote Outback parish to the halls of the Vatican; and Meggie's except for a brief and miserable marriage elsewhere, is fixed to the Drogheda that is part of her bones - but distance does not dim their feelings though it shapes their lives.Wonderful characters people this book; strong and gentle, Paddy, hiding a private memory; dutiful Fiona, holding back love because it once betrayed her, violent, tormented Frank, and the other hardworking Cleary sons who give the boundless lands of Drogheda the energy and devotion most men save for women; Meggie; Ralph; and Meggie's children, Justine and Dane. And the land itself; stark, relentless in its demands, brilliant in its flowering, prey to gigantic cycles of drought and flood, rich when nature is bountiful, surreal like no other place on earth."(Goodreads.com)

6.)Scrublands by Chris Hammer

"In an isolated country town brought to its knees by endless drought, a charismatic and dedicated young priest calmly opens fire on his congregation, killing five parishioners before being shot dead himself.A year later, troubled journalist Martin Scarsden arrives in Riversend to write a feature on the anniversary of the tragedy. But the stories he hears from the locals about the priest and incidents leading up to the shooting don't fit with the accepted version of events his own newspaper reported in an award-winning investigation. Martin can't ignore his doubts, nor the urgings of some locals to unearth the real reason behind the priest's deadly rampage.Just as Martin believes he is making headway, a shocking new development rocks the town, which becomes the biggest story in Australia. The media descends on Riversend and Martin is now the one in the spotlight. His reasons for investigating the shooting have suddenly become very personal.Wrestling with his own demons, Martin finds himself risking everything to discover a truth that becomes darker and more complex with every twist. But there are powerful forces determined to stop him, and he has no idea how far they will go to make sure the town's secrets stay buried." (Goodreads.com)

7.)The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart by Holly Ringland

"After her family suffers a tragedy when she is nine years old, Alice Hart is forced to leave her idyllic seaside home. She is taken in by her estranged grandmother, June, a flower farmer who raises Alice on the language of Australian native flowers, a way to say the things that are too hard to speak. But Alice also learns that there are secrets within secrets about her past. Under the watchful eye of June and The Flowers, women who run the farm, Alice grows up. But an unexpected betrayal sends her reeling, and she flees to the dramatically beautiful central Australian desert. Alice thinks she has found solace, until she falls in love with Dylan, a charismatic and ultimately dangerous man.The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart is a story about stories: those we inherit, those we select to define us, and those we decide to hide. It is a novel about the secrets we keep and how they haunt us, and the stories we tell ourselves in order to survive. Spanning twenty years, set between the lush sugar cane fields by the sea, a native Australian flower farm, and a celestial crater in the central desert, Alice must go on a journey to discover that the most powerful story she will ever possess is her own." (Goodreads.com)

8.)The Eulogy by Jackie Bailey

"It’s winter in Logan, south-east Queensland, and still warm enough to sleep in a car at night if you have nowhere else to go. But Kathy can’t sleep. Her husband is on her blocked caller list and she’s running from a kidnapping charge, a Tupperware container of 300 sleeping pills in her glovebox. She has driven from Sydney to plan a funeral with her five surviving siblings (most of whom she hardly speaks to) because their sister Annie is finally, blessedly, inconceivably dead from the brain tumour she was diagnosed with twenty-five years ago, the year everything changed.Kathy wonders – she has always wondered – did Annie get sick to protect her? And if so, from what?In writing Annie’s eulogy, Kathy attempts to understand the tangled story of the Bradley family: from their mother’s childhood during the Japanese occupation of Singapore in World War Two and their father’s experiences in the Malayan conflict and the Vietnam War, to Annie’s cancer and disability, and the events that have shaped the person that Kathy is today. Ultimately, Kathy needs Annie to help her decide whether she will allow herself to love and be loved."(Goodreads.com)

9.)Cloudstreet by Tim Winton

"Struggling to rebuild their lives after being touched by disaster, the Pickle family, who've inherited a big house called Cloudstreet in a suburb of Perth, take in the God-fearing Lambs as tenants. The Lambs have suffered their own catastrophes, and determined to survive, they open up a grocery on the ground floor. From 1944 to 1964, the shared experiences of the two overpopulated clans -- running the gamut from drunkenness, adultery, and death to resurrection, marriage, and birth -- bond them to each other and to the bustling, haunted house in ways no one could have anticipated."(Goodreads.com)

10.)A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute

"Jean Paget, a young Englishwoman living in Malaya, is captured by the invading Japanese and forced on a brutal seven-month death march with dozens of other women and children. A few years after the war, Jean is back in England, the nightmare behind her. However, an unexpected inheritance inspires her to return to Malaya to give something back to the villagers who saved her life. Jean's travels leads her to a desolate Australian outpost called Willstown, where she finds a challenge that will draw on all the resourcefulness and spirit that carried her through her war-time ordeals."(Goodreads.com)

[evelynsfics]

Self sabotage. (Haha, get it?)

A room that's like a fading dream. One you cannot recall, and instead it comes to you when you least expect it. A woman dangerous to the world as she is to herself. Or at least, that's what she wants you to think. Unable to break the cycle, the poor soul is doomed to join it like those that came before her. It canot be broken for the one that started it will not allow what happened to her to continue.

a/n; another author's note is at the bottom bc uh it would spoil shit

Tw; dark themes, mentions of alchohol.

Dim lights flash and flicker, their short lives ought to be replaced by new, better ones soon. Ah how sad it is, to die and to be forgotten as if you've never lived.

How painful it must be for your lungs to burn and ache, an endless struggle you know you can't win yet you still fight, you still hold on to hope as if it didn't die out when you did.

The room is silent, the dark painted walls feel safe and inviting, like a warm blanket on a freezing night, able to keep away any monster that dares to come.

A color halfway between black and brown, blue and red.

All of them at once, a warm embrace soon to wrap it's claws around those it can reach.

An illusion meant as nothing but a distraction from the real threat.

Two women are sitting across from eachother, one has long brown hair that's well kept and elegant, her voice is soft and quiet, seeing no purpose in shouting. She's sitting on a barstool, drink in hand as her lips move, words drift back and forth, their true meaning hidden beneath layers of lies.

The glass she's holding is filled with a mesmerizing liquid, it swirls and becons her, calling her name with her own voice.

The other woman is behind the bar wiping a glass with a towel, her hair is pale pink and messy, nowhere as long or beautiful as the other woman's. She screams and shouts, voice dry and raspy yet retribution nowhere to be seen, or heard.

A painfull conversation, a clash of morals.

What is justice? What is foolishness?

"Don't be naive. They won't help you, they never did."

That's not right, is it?

A soft hum, the last few notes leave the air akin to electricity after a violent storm. The piano keys no longer move, their melody far outlived that of the last one to sing.

They ask each other their meaningless questions as if this is the first time they've met, her own self spitting words full of venom and hatred, burning like molted iron falling to create a sharp sword.

"You're not who you think you are, you know."

"Oh? And who am i, then?"

The brunette, although seeming calm, is nothing of that sort as she gets angrier and angrier with the other woman.

"Telling you would ruin the fun."

A final laugh, a hazy memory.

She tried to stop it, she really did! After seeing what she was bound to become if she continued she simply couldn't handle it. The desire to save others like she wishes she was saved has long since died, withered away like a forgotten rose in an empty garden once full of love and life.

At least this ends with me.

Oh? Is that what you think? What you hope? Pathetic.

Oh but it didn't. It followed her to each timeline, to each place she tried to escape to. It took some time to catch up to her, but it always did. Be it 10 or 100 years, she could not run away from her own fate, her own path to take in life as she did in death.

As ash turns to ash, we must all see what we've become.

The pink haired woman leaned over the bar, her face blank yet full of amusement. She herself, was a living contradiction. The glass she was cleaning long shattered.

She reacher a hand for the brown haired woman, who in turn tried to sit up and back away.

"Don't run from me."

She spoke, her voice twisted.

It sounded like her, like me, but at the same time it was millions of other lives she had lived, in anger and in shame, in hope and in happiness, in disappointment and in acceptance.

She was that monster, she was the one that ruined her life.

Her future.

And every Ayame yet to come.

A lock of brown hair is all that's left. Even as the pink haired woman let's go of the other, she does not return.

There is no brown haired woman, only a battle she fought.

And lost.

a/n; the brown haired woman is Ayame's first design i came up with like 4 years ago.

[voidandradiance]

every day i think about the unfinished continuation to vintage misery. every day i think about jordan and ianite turned loose on the world, them and only them against the world. no friends no allies no plan, not within reach. no established relationships with the other champions to fall back on. no easy way to reach her heart, now more closely guarded than ever. she is too mortal and he is too divine. they are both more whole and more broken than they've ever been before. jordan has a godhood and a half on his shoulders. ianite does not have her heart, but she has her boy, and that's almost better. they are a feedback loop and a natural cycle and proof of the endless. they are perpetual motion they are infinite energy. they are inseparable in terrifyingly literal ways. they are fury they are patience and they are justice and vengeance given breath and form. in very different ways they are each the only reason that the other is breathing. ough. OUGH.