#they've always meant a lot to me
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I'm gonna lose some of you on this one, and that's okay but
the new Twenty One Pilots album is my Album of the Year right now
#and the last 30 seconds made me tear up#twenty one pilots#clancy#I know it's so cringe and a red flag to like them or whatever but#they've always meant a lot to me#and this album they returned to a sound/theme that I really relate to and love
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lately i've been in a real deep slump with writing. it's not a block, i can do it when i want to, but there's so many external factors since i started writing professionally that get in the way and i dont want to do it as much. i've essentially lost sight of what makes me love writing, and who i'm writing for.
but every day, i get an email from ao3 with a list of kudoses. i almost never remember the fics themselves, or am embarrassed by the lack of effort/quality/etc relative to my last writing project. they're like something i wrote in another life. that doesn't matter, though. what matters is the moment i see that email and remember, oh. things i wrote over a decade ago are still being found and enjoyed.
so i just want to say, thank you to the people who leave kudoses on fics. that extra time you took to click a button let me know you liked something i wrote, and that matters to me a lot.
i feel like a lot of the posts i see on tumblr are about how kudoses aren't enough. and look, i love comments/reviews as much as any writer, but i think there's a lot of value in a kudos too. i wrote something, someone read it, and liked it. that's an amazing thing too.
#i could cut this post in half#but i feel like the context adds weight to how much they mean to me right now#they've always meant a lot to me#but right now in a limbo where the only people i really hear anything from about my writing are my publisher and editor#while i'm insanely burnt out after [NDA STUFF]#they mean more than ever#and i want to share that overwhelming joy of a simple kudos i'm feeling#daino rants#writing
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do you guys think the writers would have taken it more seriously if it had been alastair around relentlessly tormenting dean in late seasons as opposed to lucifer with sam
#i'm just thinking#like obviously late seasons writers tend to be inconsistent with handling trauma in any case but#like when dean first came back from hell we actually spent a lot of time with it#and with sam yeah we had his hallucinations but late seasons when lucifer is a problem again we only really get like#sam talking abt his trauma with rowena once#and this isn't meant to be dean critical like it's not his fault the writers gloss over how they've put sam into a horror show all alone#i just know dean gets more attention than sam does late seasons and i'm wondering if ppl would've been more willing to deal w it#but also the thought of alastair being around late seasons haunting dean in the way lucifer does sam is kind of awesome#alastair possessing someone in the bunker hmmmmmmmmm#PLEASE add onto this with any thoughts on alastair being around late seasons omg#alastair reviving dean like how lucifer revived sam in beat the devil?#idk alastair was always so much cooler to me than lucifer was maybe thats why my brain is obsessed with this now#i guess maybe like. you could do this same thing with michael. but alastair just seems more interesting to think abt#and amara was around too i guess#but. idk let me have this#anyway#spn#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#alastair spn#lucifer spn
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tagged by my dear @birsalmasajt yesterday and since then ive been having a bit of a think on this but so
"name 4 songs that you consider YOURS. songs that no one else understands like you. songs that they can try to pry from your cold dead hands"
diamond smiles by the boomtown rats
days by the kinks
the pied piper by crispian st peters
see the day by brian david gilbert
but mostly just diamond smiles.
tagging @creatureprofessor @acidgirl and @sapphic-hobbit ! if you will.
#tag game#thank you angelika this was fun! honestly i dont really think i get these songs any better than anyone else does but they've always meant#a lot to me#there are a lot more i would've liked to choose.. like everything i own by bread song of all time
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kasperia character journal please? 👀
Hi Romeo! Sorry this is a lil late (days later edit: now a lot late), time kind of stopped functioning for part of Friday, hahhh . Anyway some good luck on this one being the only one I have screenshots from while my laptop hangs between this world and the next! (days later edit: it's actually dead forever) Anyway, this was admittedly a bit of a cheat because it is a tabletop character journal, but it's a WIP to me and I like working on it. Counts!
Anywayyyy. I don't think it's actually been said on Tumblr at this point, but Kasander and Asperia are two parts of a dissociative identity disorder system (I don't know if this is too jargon-y an explanation...?). Not the only two, but the two who interface the most with the outside world and in some ways have the strongest feelings about "Asperia's" life. In tabletop, their journal is how they communicate with one another to mitigate the effects of losing time and to get some sense of coordination with what they're doing. On a meta level, it helps me track what each of them knows about game events and how they feel about each other (and any other alter who adds something to the journal). Relationships within the system aren't really something that generally makes sense to externalize into regular RP. The journal is a helpful way to develop that running self-exploration side plot without derailing what's happening in session.
It's been a really fun exercise in character voice. I love writing epistolary type stuff- Carmen's mission report character journal was one of my favorite parts of playing her back in 2019- so it's been very relaxing to me. Excited for our hiatus to end to gather more material for it. I've gotten a little off track from some original plans though- one significant concept I'd had going in was that Kasander's parts of the journal are written as direct letters to Asperia, while Asperia's were supposed to be written as a diary as if the other pages didn't exist. Stubborn willful ignorance from someone struggling to come to terms with their reality. Unfortunately, it's very fun to write things that are a little bit more communicative ^^;; I'll probably have to rewrite pieces of recent parts of the journal to be a bit more in line with that intent before adding the next chunk to our party's notes drive. Not a lot room to develop the twins' relationship over time if there's not much distance between the start and the end, after all.
With that said, some of the direct exchanges are very fun. Pros and cons.
It's also fun to think through what's tracked and what's omitted (intentionally or unintentionally). Kasander loves describing the cultural experience of a location but carefully skips mentioning having actually spent money on things. They're always on thin ice with the funds. Asperia keeps (mildly exaggerated) accounts of personal achievements but completely skips over failures, especially failures that involved injury to the body. She needs to communicate a sense of superiority- something that certainly works when Kasander apologizes profusely any time the body is hurt under their care.
(yeah it seemed like a good idea at the time to use a more "handwritten" font for the final thing but I've been having A Lot Of Regrets)
I unfortunately don't have a screenshot, but the journal has also had one small addition from Paracelsus as well. It's just a to-do list of ways to organize and restock the crafting supplies. Very typical of them. Asperia thinks he wrote it, like everything Paracelsus writes.
Also fun to get to work in some in-world explanations for things that raise some meta questions, like not having some items that I need for my character concept (I ran out of starting equipment budgettt). This bit is also consistent with the pattern that Asperia avoids referring to Kasander by name.
How common the two of them actually sabotaging each other's possessions is has yet to truly be established, but it is an aspect of what the party thaumaturge refers to as their "feud."
Pros over BG3: they are aware of and communicating each other, and they didn't have to have five near death experiences for it to happen. Yay!
Cons over BG3: lot more hostility from Asperia persisting past that point. Kasander did in fact ruin their life a little.
#I feel like this has a silly amount of explaining shit that has nothing to do with the actual thing. a thing that was itself a cheat. sorry!#on me for never finishing the character info post I meant to a month ago#at any rate 'asperia coping poorly' is a consistent theme between pf and bg3. asperia exists to excel in one environment#and it's a good thing that asperia excels in that! they've done a lot to make sure the system has survived all these years.#but being removed from that environment is hard. and so much of asperia's existence has always hinged on filling the gaps#being 'asperia' completely#knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt about kasander is terrifying.#still: they exist to protect one another. they always have.#is this still a tag game or is this now an ask game... god#tag game#ask me emithing#kasander#asperia#paracelsus#(mentioned. counts.)#baneschosen#sorry if you were searching for ye olde gate game it's uhhhh in a different ask. I've given up on posting them all at the same time#in favor of the goal of 'post them whenever so the anxiety doesn't win'#this draft was written in entirety a bit ago and I'm not fidgeting with it anymore. hopefully it's semi-coherent if not... whoops?#scheduled post#I think I lost the plot on how long these were supposed to be and this is way longer than it should be
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Thinking abt my dupe ocs again... Maybe Quinn does have hashtag issues actually
#rat rambles#oni posting#oc posting#theyre very well known and liked amongst all the colonies as y'know. they helped found all of them.#and theyve always been very friendly and kind and they have always taken their responsibilities incredibly seriously#and when they get time to be on a planet they relish it as they have a great deal of appreciation for the beauty of these worlds#but one thing that has always been a thing for them is that they've never rly had like. friends amongst these colonies#partially because of them having to travel constantly but even when they get time to hang out more theyve sort of unconsciously trained#themself to be a bit emotionaly detached from those around them#it also doesnt help that theyre a digger and usually one of like 2 or 3 on any given planetoid#which earlier on meant thar they rarely encountered other dupes and late on left then with little to do as most of the ongoing work was#already being managed by others specifically trained for the role#so the isolation started to get to them and they started to get rly antsy and didn't know why or how to fix it#when the printing pod went offline they were one of the ones more calm abt the matter due to them being generally more used to the unknown#and this combined with their general good reputation lead to a lot of dupes looking to them for direction and answers alongside burt#this actually made quinn feel rly good for a while since it was their excuse to actually talk to ppl regularly and in more personal ways#theyd hear out ppls anxieties and ideas and newest passions and goals and theyd actually feel like theyre hearing the words said#they liked the feeling of everyone wanting to be around them and seeking them out even on other planetoids#they'd get phone calls and people taking breaks from their work to come say hi and it made them feel real#but as time went on and their fellow dupes became more and more self reliant they began to seek them out less and less#because why bother someone so important and busy when you dont need to right?#and this lead to quinn going wait no why did you all leave me again :(#it felt like before but worse because now they actually had started considering a lot of these guys friends#and they still had no idea how to reach out themself without a work reason and as such they sorta started dissolving again#and its during this time when they start missing the pod and start to get more upset that shes gone#they end up returning to the original partially to be closer to her and partially because it feels the most like home to them#there they start to slowly learn to reach out themself as they sort of sit in a corner watching burt work while shaking like a small dog#this at first is very unwanted by burt who is stressed as hell but they end up forcing him to stick to an actual shift instead of just#working until he passes out and this allows them to hang out while they force him to have downtime with them to keep him from exploding#it becomes a nice comfort time for them both as they rly havent hung out much since the first like 100 cycles or so
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[Start ID. A green-toned drawing of two characters from an original universe, shown from the shoulders up. It's framed as though they're taking a selfie. On the left is Heathrow, a human with dark skin, long hair, a good number of facial scars, and two painted lines below each eye. He wears something akin to a green hoodie, with fluffy plant matter sewn into the back of the hood. On the right is Crassie, a half elf, which in this universe entails long pointed ears, a pair of short pale horns, a slightly rabbit-like nose and markings under her eyes. Her skin is olive-toned, sporting a couple distinct scars on her face and hand, and she's wearing what is essentially a bush and spiked glovelets. Both of them are smiling, Crassie a little bit wide-eyed and Heathrow with a fond expression. The background's a saturated green with the text "1 YEAR!". End ID]
A redraw-in-spirit of the post from last year's Feb 16 that introduced these two to my blog. It's their birthday :]
#peridots-art#heathrow chtn#crassie chtn#chtn#eye contact#peridots-ocs#i've only posted about them three times including this and every single time i manage to go 'hey did you know heath was originally meant as#a stand-in for the hunter from hk? i thought that was neat :)' so. obligatory mention of that i guess#because of their shifting nature i could never pin down the days they/their universe were created but i love an excuse to get emotional#about birthdays/anniversaries and such. so today it is then (it just turned midnight 17th in my timezone... it's the thought that counts)#this is also the first non-fullbody I've posted on Tumblr in a Really long time?? like there's the dragon from nov 5 and daud from oct 26.#looking past that i guess there were quite a few okay but three and a half months is a lot when you draw as much as i#anyway. these guys.#had a little more to say about them but i scrapped it. they're both very ace and aro and while i respect aroaces who don't want Any sort of#intimate relationship (platonic or otherwise!) they are about as far as you can get from it. a qpr sounds appropriate#the nature of their relationship defies description. friends and a little like siblings. life partners? a little like father and daughter.#they've only ever known each other. i may not think about them so often but man do i love them.#for the most part accidental but this was definitely inspired by miecz's art :] the linework was surprisingly fun to do#wasn't gonna address kit directly seeing as i don't know if it always reads these? but if you are your tags were very kind!!#i don't know anyone else who's as lengthy with it as i but i like talking in the tags! so. i'm glad they're appreciated :]#that isn't all i have to say on the subject (i'm never used to people being nice to me) but i'll save it for somewhere it will def. be seen#...idk how to describe their clothing. i designed his a year ago and hers more than that do you think they're supposed to make sense#there were a Lot of particularities with the id that made it. hard to write. this is better than nothing of course but don't know if it's#the most efficient. with that hour-to-thirty-minutes of my day over with (I AM TALKING ABOUT THE IMAGE DESCRIPTION MY ART TAKES 6 HOURS AT#ABSOLUTE BEST apologies for the screaming) i can officially say goodnight to you tag-wanderer and farewell#peridots-described
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little lion | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem young mum!reader
journalists go digging in max's past and think they've found f1's next big scandal - but they underestimate just how protective max is of his little lion
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
f1tea
liked by user5, user6 and 23,095 others
f1tea: this is y/n y/ln the supposed baby momma of max verstappen. not much is known about her, with her only going back to work recently as a therapist in monaco.
her and max had their baby, a girl, back when they were 17 in 2015. max has never been seen in public with the child and has never publicly claimed her either.
will we see her in the paddock now all the news is out?
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user7: holy shit this is insane
user8: this poor girl doesn't deserve this
user9: literally, either max is a present father and is just private or he doesn't have anything to do with them? but it coming out like this is probably stressful regardless
user10: also by my calculations, the baby will be nearly nine, so probably has a concept of fame and celebrity and if they haven't gone to a race it's probably for a reason
user11: i mean the way people are already talking about them proves them right already
user12: ted kravitz telling it like it is 🤲
user13: no he's not ??? he basically went on broadcast to call y/n a slut and try and say that he was 'always right about max because this proves he is reckless'
user14: once again, this child is eight and could understand some of this if they see it
user15: also the incidents ted is bringing up happened EIGHT YEARS AGO stop bringing a child into your weird agenda
user16: if he's not careful red bull will ban sky from their media run again
user17: i found her instagram and max, alex and daniel all follow her so it's defo legit
user18: i also found it but it's private :(
user19: i tried to follow but got blocked :/
user20: do you people have rocks for brains if it's private it means we're not meant to find it, if she's not spoken about it in eight years that means IT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS
user21: someone tell max to get a DNA test asap, gold diggers will do anything for money and fame
user22: what fame? she's got like 400 followers and has never spoken about max to any media outlet
user23: the way you people jump to gold digging allegations kill me
user24: also if max is the dead beat that sky are trying to make him out to be and y/n is a gold digger then why haven't we seen some child support claims and whatnot
user25: you have no shame posting this, if she didn't want to be found she doesn't want to be found
user26: f1 vultures at their best
maxverstappen1
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,389,774 others
maxverstappen1: i've seen a lot of journalists and 'professionals' trying to point score with the 'big revelation' of my daughter. sydney is the love of my life and for someone who grew up in the public eye i thought it would be best to keep my daughter away from the circus. not that i owe it to any of you people, but i see syd as much as i possibly can and i didn't want to post her or bring her to the paddock until she could make that choice for herself. y/n is a wonderful mother and is the exact support system i would want for my daughter.
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user27: MAX IS A GIRL DAD?
user28: congratulations media and internet you forced him to expose his kid
user29: the way they probably see this as a victory annoys me to my core
yourusername: you're an amazing father max, don't let them tell you anything else. sydney loves you and that's all that matters.
maxverstappen1: thank you y/n, i miss you both - see you this weekend!
yourusername: we look forward to it! x
user30: she didn't say that she loves him too so they're defo not together
user31: will you people ever learn to read the room?
user32: oh wow so max does see his daughter - watch sky still run with the deadbeat angle
user33: they were so shameless about his SLEEP SCHEDULE i cannot imagine the shit crofty is going to throw at him over this
danielricciardo: i'm sorry for how this has all come out max but i'm so glad i can publicly express my love for my god daughter!
maxverstappen1: this might mean that you can give her all of your gifts in person (if she wants to come) lord knows i can never fit them back in my suitcase
user34: you literally have a private jet?
maxverstappen1: you underestimate how seriously daniel takes being a god parent
danielricciardo: i think i'm singlehandedly keeping jellycat in business tbf
yourusername: and ikea, i have to buy a new shelving unit every couple of weeks daniel
danielricciardo: SYD IS MY BEST FRIEND LEAVE ME ALONE
user35: drop 💥 the 💥 daniel 💥 and 💥 sydney 💥 photos 💥 now 💥
user36: actually don't i don't think my baby fever can take it
alexalbon: you're an amazing father max and sydney is the coolest girl in the world!
maxverstappen1: thank you alex 😊
alexalbon: also if you ever convince y/n to come to races PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make her bake me some of her iconic brownies
yourusername: alex you know i can just bake you some and send them to you via max
alexalbon: please 😫😫😫
yourusername: no worries albono, you're a growing boy you need the nutrients
maxverstappen1: they're brownies
alexalbon: i need y/n's brownies to deal with YOU
maxverstappen1: ok maybe this is why i don't want to introduce you all :(
yourusername: don't worry maxie i'll make you some goodies to go
maxverstappen1: thank you :)
user37: she makes him to-go goodies 🥹
yourusername
liked by feranandoalo_oficial, danielricciardo and 319,506 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: i'm not very happy that i have to make this statement like this because people couldn't respect the boundaries max and i have set as parents but alas: max is the loveliest man in the world and the best father sydney could ask for. he has a very busy life but he still makes as much time as possible for syd and she loves him very much. max has been in the spotlight from a very young age and did not want that pressure and spectacle on his own daughter. we may have never been together, but max has never been the monster you're trying to make him out to be. please respect my daughter's privacy. thank you.
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user41: once again, this is a very cute family but god this is a horrible way to find out about them :(
user42: i hope they know so so many of us are supporting them
danielricciardo: syd has grown so much i actually feel kind of sick
yourusername: i was a mess on her first day of school :(
danielricciardo: oh i can imagine ... max never told us but i'm sure he was his usual stoic self
yourusername: he tried, but we did both cry over a carton of ice cream for the whole morning
maxverstappen1: IT WAS A VERY EMOTIONAL MORNING
yourusername: it really was 🥺
user43: i'm sorry but why do two europeans have a daughter called SYDNEY?
maxverstappen1: she's nearly eight... i made my f1 debut in australia eight years ago... i can't hold your hand any more than that
user44: LMAOOOOOOO
danielricciardo: i am HURT i thought she was named after her beloved god father?
yourusername: if that was the case do you not think we would've gone for the more obvious option of DANIELLE???
maxverstappen1: also you were just an acquaintance and childhood crush at that point daniel
yourusername: omg childhood crush on daniel SNAP
danielricciardo: i'm not that old???
maxverstappen1: we have such good taste
yourusername: we REALLY do
user44: so like they're defo flirting right?
user45: ugh you people have no class (i hope so)
landonorris: i'm so sorry for you guys BUT THANK GOD IT WAS SO HARD TO KEEP HER A SECRET
maxverstappen1: i mean y/n and i kept her a secret for like nearly eight years 🤨
yourusername: i also 100% caught your slip ups you're just lucky there was never any rumour at those times
landonorris: I AM A BLABBERMOUTH PLEASE BE PROUD OF ME
maxverstappen1: fine?
yourusername: i'd be more proud but everyone else also kept the secret sooooo ???
alexalbon
liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 894,503 others
tagged: lilymunhe, yourusername
alexalbon: with permission i am now allowed to post my bestest friend in the world!
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user46: god has heard my prayers and gave me my alex and sydney content
user47: i'd say what a random pairing but i think my brain just blocked out alex at red bull as a trauma response
alexalbon: lord knows i only got through being locked in the sim with y/n's brownies and hugs from syd
yourusername: syd asked for her favourite uncle to score more points so we can get ice cream again
alexalbon: i'll fix the damn williams myself
yourusername: hurry up she's getting impatient (i have no clue where she gets that from)
maxverstappen1: I AM NOT IMPATIENT I JUST LIKE THINGS BEING DONE IN A PROMPT MANNER
yourusername: is that what you tell the engineers?
maxverstappen1: ... something along those lines
yourusername: are you going to get more community service?
maxverstappen1: i don't think there were any cameras ???
user48: so max doesn't believe in not swearing around kids... how bad is it with sydney?
maxverstappen1: i am on my BEST behaviour for her
alexalbon: she's like a little sailor
maxverstappen1: in my defence she's much cuter when she swears than me
charles_leclerc: is this why she called me a wanker when i didn't bring leo to the house?
yourusername: i fear that has alex albon written all over it
alexalbon: whoops!
lilymunhe: we need another play date asap !! he goes so mushy i can get him to do all the cute dates i wanna do
yourusername: is that why i got given a badly painted mug?
alexalbon: hey! i worked very hard on that :(
maxverstappen1: i thought sydney painted it alex
alexalbon: can you guys stop ganging up on me :(((((
yourusername: no!
maxverstappen1: 😘
user49: feeling some ... tension here
maxverstappen1
liked by charles_leclerc, alexalbon and 1,450,987 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: guess who wanted to come see dad at work?
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user51: oh she really is max verstappen's daughter with that cold middle finger to ted kravitz
user52: are they going to make an eight year old do community service as well?
yourusername: great now she's attached to the engineers
maxverstappen1: oh noooooooooo how will we ever cope??? maybe we should all go to every race ???
yourusername: that would be very convenient, wouldn't it?
maxverstappen1: i can see you smiling while typing, i don't think you're as opposed as you say you are
yourusername: you got me! i like to see syd happy :(
maxverstappen1: and me...?
yourusername: and you, i guess 😚
user53: so like are we just going to ignore all of this ^^ and the second picture?
user54: it would be nice that through all the shit they've had thrown at them that they got together through it
danielricciardo: he's been waiting long enough
maxverstappen1: DANIEL???
danielricciardo: what ???
user55: daniel, thank you for your service
user56: i mean we've seen them at one race and it's crazy to think they're not together
alexalbon: why did i have to track my bestie down at the hotel? you verstappens too good for the williams garage?
yourusername: we were busy !!!
alexalbon: franco is distraught
francocolapinto: i am?
alexalbon: yes!!!!
francocolapinto: i am!
maxverstappen1: stop yapping for the love of god i was getting my shit together - something YOU told me to do
alexalbon: fine... i guess
user57: so like that's confirmation right?
yourusername
liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly and 2,349,855 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: i'm still reporting all you journalists to the ethics boards but i guess something good did come out of all of this
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user58: FUCK SKY SPORTS BUT THANK THE LORD THIS IS SO CUTE
user59: a family that flips off ted kravitz together, stays together!
user60: y/n's dirty look at him will forever be legendary
maxverstappen1: i've always loved you, and i've loved playing the long game with you and prioritising syd !! here's to the rest of our lives xx
yourusername: i've always loved you too but as convoluted as it has been i think this has been the best way to be - all love to syd first
maxverstappen1: but now we can cut the shit and do all the cute things without it having to be a 'play date'
yourusername: i love you dummy, but your cats are mine now
maxverstappen1: they've always been yours, just like me
user61: okay fuck you guys this is too fucking cute
user62: no because i'm too chronically lonely to read this this morning
landonorris: FINALLY, I COULDN'T KEEP ANOTHER SECRET FOR MUCH LONGER
danielricciardo: booooooo, we've all kept this secret you're not special
landonorris: i thought i was the only one who max told about his feelings? like literally on the podium when he saw y/n and syd watching?
oscarpiastri: i think you just can't read people lando, even i knew max liked y/n and i've only seen them interact THIS WEEKEND
alexalbon: we've all known forever lando, you're not getting sympathy for keeping the secret for 12 hours
user63: the grid being so protective of the lil family is so cute
user64: i read that george got the GDPA to sign a petition that the media couldn't ask about syd before max was ready to start the conversation himself
user65: also by the sounds of it, they've been rooting for this relationship just as long as max and y/n
maxverstappen1: i'm so lucky to have two amazing girls in my life, i'll love you forever and as long as you'll have me
yourusername: now i have you, i'm never letting you go
maxverstappen1: right back at you
yourusername: you're the bestest father ever and the love of my life, never let anyone tell you anything else my gentle boy
maxverstappen1: i love you both more than anything ever, you're my guardian angel and syd is my favourite little lion
fin.
note: HAPPY MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN BIRTHDAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE !!!
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen social media au
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Unrelated to my earlier rambles but JUST AS PRESENT IN MY MIND right now, continuously...
While I do not miss the olden days of "hehe ignore the harmless troll spewing actual bigotry, he's our pet forum troll Jeff,"
I sure do miss there being any semblance of nuance and debate in in discussion, if only because it felt like people were less trained toward thought terminating cliches. I'm actually sort of worried that every single person with a semblance of fame has become some figure of absolute benevolence* or devilish corruption with zero in-between in a good bulk of internet discourse.
*until, of course, they do a single bad thing and become the latter.
Like... people are complicated and messy. Good people do bad things. Bad people do good things. People all make mistakes. People are complicated messy things. It's difficult to genuinely consider most people good or bad. ...and people grow, evolve, and change all the time. People realize they've fucked up and seek amends. People are contrariwise radicalized. The one thing people generally aren't, is stagnant.
And I BEG of internet discourse to divorce the idea of intrinsic goodness and talent somehow being linked. EITHER direction you go with that has an endpoint that is Not. Good. Either you spin in circles deciding someone cannot have possibly done the Bad Thing™️ because they're just so talented! ...or you decide that because they have been deemed a Bad Person™️ every contribution they have ever made isn't real actually and we should burn it all down.
Like, I AGREE we should endeavor not to platform harmful, hateful people that carry genuine venom and desire to hurt others. But... it's a lot harder to just... dismiss arguments where genuine, REAL HARM has been done and/or is ongoing when you stop making binaristically treating people as the purest saints or literal demons a habit.
(There's a WHOLE LOT of deconstruction some folks need to be doing regarding some very deep seated, VERY Evangelical beliefs on sin they've held on to despite leaving the church.)
#rambling#this time of year always makes me introspective#so you get a lot of non-essay messy and untangled brain tangles#these are basically longform shower thoughts#i'm serious about this though#like you need to divorce the idea of unforgivable forever sin and damnation from how you view the world around you#you just DO#is someone causing active harm right now and holding actual hate as a weapon right now#or did they do a stupid thing ten years ago that they've seemingly never done since?#is that person really harmless and never meant to hurt anyone or do you just like their music?#equating talent to goodliness also feels very eugenics but hoo speaking of thought terminating cliche triggering words
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Harley crawled into the apartment. It was organized, but it looked like the occupant didn't have a lot of time for cleaning. She walked softly through it, taking it in. There were photos of her target and what had to be her family, but no friends or romantic partners. Some had a pair of older adults, matching traits meant bio-parents. More of the photos were of the target and a younger boy - a little brother, the highest likelihood of becoming another target if things go bad.
Harley continued forward, following the light to where her target was. She stood in the doorway, looking in.
Dr. Jasmine Fenton, Arkham Asylum's newest psychologist, just got her degree and everything. She did what most newbies do, actually thinking she could get through to the Joker. Harley didn't want to say it was impossible, but everyone who tried ended up in a new job or dead. Harley would try and make sure it was the former and not the later.
Harley watched as the redhead read over a file as she ate from a takeout box. She didn't want to scare the girl, yet. The scaring her away from Joker came later. So, she had to wait for the perfect moment to-
"I know you're there." Jasmine didn't look up from her file, but held out the last box of Chinese food in Harley's direction. "There's plenty if you want some."
"Awe, you ruined the surprise." Harley walked out of the shadows of the hallway into the girl's home office. She snatched the offered box of food and took a few bites as she jumped to sit on the desk.
"I'm hard to sneak up on." Jasmine said, closing her file and finally looking at Harley. "So, Dr. Quinzel, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this evening?"
"Oh, call me Harley!" She laughed, she wasn't called Dr. all that often any more. She tapped her chop sticks on the file Jasmine just closed. "I thought you'd like a consult on your new patient, Dr. Fenton. I've got a lot of experience with him."
"I prefer to go by Jazz." She said with a smile, "While I appreciate the offer, I'd like to see how far I can get on my own. And, sorry, but I'm pretty sure your license was revoked."
Harley nodded as she swallowed to get the noodles out of her mouth. "I get it! You're new, fresh outta school, gotta prove yourself. But Joker ain't the guy to do that with. He eats people like us for breakfast, and in all the years he's been in Arkham, no one's been able to get anywhere with him."
Jazz sighed, "I don't like to believe people are lost causes. There's always something we can do to help."
"You can't help everyone, especially when they don't want it. And it's not just a question if whether or not he can be saved or whatever." Harley set down the now empty box, Jazz pointed to another one that still had food in it, but Harley declined. "If you keep it up, he'll think you're worth his time to torment. There's no telling what he'll do when he inevitably gets himself out again."
"I'll be fine." Jazz said, but Harley had to cut her off before she said something stupid.
"It's not just you! You've got family out there he can target, your parents. Your Brother! Anyone you date will become a target! He'll do everything in his power to make your life miserable!"
Jazz chuckled. "If he wants to target my family, his funeral. My parents are - were supervillains. They've really only become less- well, hyper-focused on eradicating an entire race of being- in the past few years. And my brother - I'm pretty sure he's conditionally immortal. So that's nothing to worry about."
"If it's conditional, Joker will find a way around it." Harley said, but she had to admit, this might have been an unnecessary trip. "You sure y'ain't got nothing to worry about? What about you? How conditional is your mortality?"
Jazz smiled. Her mouth seemed too wide and with too many teeth. "Oh, I am nowhere near immortal. But..."
She stood up and the room was suddenly a black void. Toxic green eyes and mouths filled with glowing white teeth opened around them. "I doubt anyone could get close enough to test it."
The room was suddenly back to normal, but whatever that thing was was still there. Harley could see its eyes watching her with amusement from inside Jazz's oversized cardigan.
"Well, I guess this really was a wasted trip. You've clearly got it covered."
"Not entirely." Jazz said, her hand wend up to her neck to rub nervously, "Well, you see... I don't really have a lot of friends. People tend to get - uh, creeped out, you know? Or chased off by my parents or brother or whatever..."
"You wanna be friends?" Harley laughed so hard she almost fell over.
Jazz's face turned bright red and the shadow eyes looked way less amused. "Yeah, stupid question. You've clearly got your own things going on."
"No! No, no." Harley had to take several deep breaths before she could look Jazz in the face again. "I 100% wanna hang out with you!"
"Really?"
"Oh yeah." She took another deep breath, "I mean, I really should have made a support system before trying to take on the Joker back when I worked for Arkham. This" she pointed between them "can only end well."
Jazz's face turned brighter than the sun. "Oh my gosh! This is amazing! We should - I have Thursday's and weekends off - What - what kind of things should we-"
Oh man, Jazz was like an excited kid. She must have had a really lonely childhood... they can psychoanalyze each other later. "Come over for girl's night next week. I'll tell my gf and bff to expect an extra person... Does the-" she motioned to the cardigan creature "-go everywhere you go? Does it need food?"
"Oh, don't worry about Jet, they only eat who I tell them to."
Harley barked out more laughter. "You're going to fit right in!"
Now featuring a Part 2
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Warnings: Doomerism, climate grief, child death
The thing about having studied history and the psychology of trauma so much is that I can't pretend to myself that the world used to be better at sometime in the past.
Don't get me wrong; things are absolutely terrible right now and need to change, quickly.
But also, they're better than they've ever been for us as a species. It is literally mindblowing how much worse life was for us historically.
Have you seen one of those charts of the human population over time? Have you thought about what it actually means?
Because here's what I see: Humans have always loved things like living to old age, like having sex, like raising babies. Those are things we have always wanted to do. It's not like pre-industrial humans were giant pandas like, "Nah, rather not reproduce as a species. No thanks," and suddenly the Victorians discovered horniness.
Instead, for most of human history, we have died. At terrifically young ages. The few who made it to adulthood could make babies as much as they liked, and then overwhelmingly watched pregnancies miscarry, births end in tragedy, or babies die. Their own lives were constantly at the mercy of a world that could kill them without a second thought. To be human meant to live in a world full of a million little tragedies, all the goddamn time.
And then what happened was: The babies stopped dying. The effects of a lot of things from higher agricultural yields to public health efforts to mass communications made us the master over the diseases and maladies that once had us by the throat.
When we look ahead at catastrophe and terrors, yes, they're bad. But they'd have to be extremely bad indeed to measure up to the number of people who wouldn't even be alive in any other century.
And even the obvious bogeyman then, overpopulation—did you notice what's already happened? On that chart, there's the green measure of total population, but the thin purple line is the rate of population growth. Please notice that it peaked in 1968. It is, in fact, projected as entirely possible that within a century it could go lower than it was twelve thousand years ago, at the end of the last big ice age.
The moment babies started to live longer, people went, "That is too many babies. An absolutely unsustainable number of babies. People are crying out for help because taking care of that many children is completely overwhelming. We need to be able to fix this problem," and they invented birth control and fought to get it legalized. It hit the market in the late 1950s and in less than a decade, it had caught on like wildfire.
To me, this is the absolute opposite of an argument for passivity and political inaction. It's not that everything's going to be okay so why even try. It's that as it turns out, the human capacity to grow and thrive and make the world better is absolutely reality-defying. I don't have faith that all of our problems will be solved, but I do have faith that those problems are all the subject of passionate obsession of millions of people.
And apparently we have a really strong track record at that kind of thing already.
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YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT! ; F1 GRID
f1 grid x driver!reader . . . gen z f1 driver ranks previous crushes in f1 in a new tiktok video that sends fans in a coma /real
amgf well well well, guess who's back (hopefully) uhm i'm enrolled and officially an intern 😀👍 we love to see that, i made this before hungary i think? but yeah, i have too many drafts and no will to write, i'm blaming the new season in wild rift 😋 and because i've been busy with the internship thingy... a lot of seminars and preparations to do sooooo i hope you enjoy this like always
yourusername uploaded a new video
. . . view 736,937 comments
user73 hello? came running from twt, everyone talking about this
user62 i thought people were making a big deal on twt like usual but this is actual next levels of insane
user32 yn was bored with summer break and decided to break the internet and possibly the team's pr manager
user50 i relate because i too am not immune to blond hair and blued eyed men...
landonorris i think you forgot to message one more driver on the grid...
→ yourusername you're right @/yukitsunoda0511 i had a crush on you before 😌☝️
→ landonorris i meant a british driver on the grid...
→ yourusername alex is already there???
→ landonorris a mclaren driver perhaps.....
→ yourusername oh my gosh you reminded me!!!! i definitely had a really tiny crush on mclaren @/carlossainz 😋🫶
→ yourusername look lando i specifically said in the second slide that if you're not there then i probably hated you, people said you have poor reading comprehension, didn't think it'd be true 🫤
user38 cleared lando fr!!!!!!
user93 no charles leclerc, max verstappen, daniel ricciardo? fraud 🤥
→ user05 wtf not everyone likes them????
→ user17 y'all it's not that deep, this is yn's crush ranking why are y'all projecting////
georgerussell catching strays on a post about you having a crush on alex before????
→ yourusername oh well... i say it the way i see it and i see the way you look at alex 🙄🙏
logansargeant well well well
→ yourusername shut up logan 🙄
→ oscarpiastri no... but this is interesting ✍️ ain't it @/logansargeant?
→ yourusername shut your traps, i didn't give y'all exclusive content for you to run your mouth online
→ user48 honey i fear you're already running your mouth enough 🥹
user72 is no one taking about the mick one???? like??? i'm thinking about their f3 and f2 moments now and i see it
→ user49 OMG!NNN exactly! i get it now, the tension when they're together
jensonbutton reading your message at 2am asking for permission is not something i expected, my question though is... am i p1?
→ yourusername technically you're p-last atm but considering you're my first f1 crush i guess you're p1
→ jensonbutton i see... one rank higher than @/nicorosberg 👍
→ nicorosberg is this what catching strays mean @/yourusername?
→ yourusername yes 😭
dennis_hauger this is not what i said to you, i'm about to sue for defamation
→ yourusername you can't do that, i need a wag to bring for races
→ dennis_hauger i'm racing too?
→ yourusername and?
user85 mr dennis hauger??? did we miss three chapters here?
→ user69 no!!! they've been going at it since the beginning look up the 2022 f2 season
→ user03 there are various compilations in youtube and in yn's youtube channel !!!!
mickshumacher what is this? this is not what you sent me?
→ yourusername is it slander yn day? i'm out here airing my business and y'all say i'm a fraud istg
→ mickshumacher hahahahahaha but i agree with everything you said, i felt the same way
→ yourusername hello? when was this?
→ mickshumacher probably three, four years ago? same year with you, things didn't just work out
→ yourusername dang so you could've been my wag? ngl glad it's not you 😂🫵
→ mickshumacher i agree, who would want to be with you atp
→ yourusername slander and defamation?????
→ mickshumacher well who doesn't have a wag now? exactly, not me
yourusername wow i made this so we could have fun, but now everyone is just making fun of me, might as well delete this before the PR team sees this 😮💨
→ user52 noooooo please keep this up
→ user17 this is actually very slayful if you!!! don't ❌❌ let 🫵 the haters 🤡😈💩 stop 🛑✋ you
→ user28 this is actually what we want this summer, i'm begging 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️
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Astrology observations - Part 3 (use whole signs)
🎀 For a lot of people with moon in 7th house, their mother had a huge impact on their personality (in a good or bad way). They'll either admire her a lot and try to be more like her or, do their best to not be like her. Their mother usually has a lot of say in who they marry. If the ascendant lord is not strong, then these people completely change after marriage and start to behave in a way in which their spouse would like them to.
🐈⬛Saturn in 9th house people can be really good when it comes to their career, they end up getting promoted earlier than others, but I've noticed that they prefer to work alone. It's like, they create something, but they would like someone else to market and sell it since communication is not their strong suit. Can be very introverted, not the best at taking initiatives, are very prone to undermining themselves.
🎀 moon in 11th house people have a really good relationship with their kids (unless it's debilitated). It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl, it's the same for both. They're the parents who have a very "chill" relationship with their kids, their kids trust them a lot, treat them as a friend. All my friends who have a great and healthy relationship with their parents, 85% of those parents had moon in 11th.
🐈⬛ Mars in 5th house people have such an "interesting" dating life; love triangles, friends with benefits, they've (or will) experienced it all. The people to say "it's complicated" when you ask them about their love life. But I've also seen that these people are very accepting of other people's dating preferences, this is one of the things that I really admire about them, this can result in them having a very diverse group of friends.
🎀 Jupiter aspecting ascendant/midheaven is one of the best placements that you could possibly have. I was going through celebrities' charts and I noticed that the ones who were exceptionally popular or rich had this like 90% of the time. With opposition and square it can indicate that people hate you at first, but then some info comes out and suddenly everyone loves you, but you gotta go through the hate first. Conjunction can go either way depending on the sign.
🐈⬛ Saturn in 4th house women have my full respect, like, these people go through so much shit in their life and yet they're so hardworking and never give up. Their mother was probably their worst enemy growing up. If you know someone who has this, give them a hug, they're carrying so much burden, and yet they never show it. You'll never hear these people complaining about life, have a very, "it's okay, problems come and go, you can't be sad all the time" mentality.
🎀 Sun in 1st house people make me so angry, I don't get along with them. They have such a shitty personality, and always wanna fight for absolutely no reason. Start a beef out of nowhere, but they are so fucking good at their job, that's actually what makes me hate them more. My class representative has this, and she's such a bitch, but she's so responsible, it breaks my fucking heart, can't even complain 😔
🐈⬛ Mercury in 11th house people have unmatched Rizz, will charm the pants off you (unless it's debilitated). I'm so jealous of people who have this. I know people with this, who are not conventionally attractive but their charm is what makes people like them. I never knew what it meant to be attracted to someone's personality until I met someone who had this. (I know this sounds like a backhanded compliment, but it's really not)
🎀 I have never in my life met a moon in 8th house person who was like....okay. these people will have a mental breakdown almost every week. Can't take criticism AT ALL. I have seen that people with this have a tendency to date whoever they see once they break up, just to show their ex how "wanted" they are, and it's not healthy because a lot of their hook ups have bad intentions. Have a habit of playing the victim "everyone bullies me 🥺" "I have the hardest life" and blah blah. On a positive note, they can handle fame really well because of their ability to manipulate people, once you get in their trap and start liking them, you'll never be able to hate them.
🐈⬛ I never see people talking about how smart Venus in 3rd house people are. I'm always so amazed by the way they carry conversations. A lot of women who have won beauty paegents have this because of how nice their answers were. A lot of young politicians have this as well. Their juniors often look up to them.
© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024
#moon in 7th house#saturn in 9th house#moon in 11th house#mars in 5th house#saturn in 4th house#sun in 1st house#Mercury in 11th house#moon in 8th house#Venus in 3rd house#astrology observations#astrology#astroblr#astrology community#astrology content#astro notes
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suteki da ne
#🌙.rambles#yk that twt acc w final fantasy music. THE SONGS. REMIND ME. FINAL FANTASY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME FR#shaped so much of my identity n my personality n wtvr man. the lyrics of suteki da ne r so personal to me for some reason. idk#ff for the dreamers fr but it has rlly contributed in making me a hopeless romantic even more back then n#GUYS I HATE FEBRUARY N 14TH SO MUCH FOR MAKING ME THINK OF THESE STUFF AGAIN#hmm.. maybe i'm sad n maybe i'm hiding a lot more than it seems . (just a maybe for sure. hahahaha definitely not surely nah haha. hahaha.)#suteki da ne is so. special to me tho. like from start to end. N THEN THE CONTEXT W TIDUS N YUNA N I KNOW SPOILERS TOO SO. 😭😭#gna project that on my own ocs too !!!! i wna write of them more bcs i have so many ideas here n there#several ending ideas or wtvr bcs i love imagining it as a video game. n. hmm. star-crossed lovers but end up being destined together#themes like. freedom n birds n the moon themes n yk i'll make the color blue have a special meaning. dreams wishes psychology ideals#ideals reality mythology stuff like that r some keywords they've just. yk always meant a lot to me ever since i was young. ^^ n more.#SUTEKI DA NE HAS LOTS OF THEM UWAHH n while water has always been my fav from. those elements n being yk a water sign ig.#.. growing up i have a lot of memories of vacations on beaches w my family. the sand n the breeze n the waves by my feet#hehe. really grew up swimming a lot too. nearly drowned once but i've never been afraid of the water.#i'm rambling abt myself again but what do i have to be sorry for if this is my space anyways? but uh. i overshare on social media ik 🥹#but. rambling gives me comfort. i want to put out as much as i can into this world before i make my leave.#which DW WILL HOPEFULLY not be anytime soon. life's hard but i'll make it through the very end. & i'll do as much as i can fr.#when i. finally write those stories.. it's just. lovely to imagine how the ppl who personally know me wld understand n see myself in them.#expression of self through. many mediums such as different kinds of art is so special to me. i love to express myself n i equally love to#yk see others too. see them for who they really are and love them and understand them as much as i can.#probably bcs i want that myself too. n i crave n desire it myself too but it makes me happy n. yh so happy beyond words to#..just. live with others in that way? with ppl beside me or even just.. watching them.. though#hang on i'll ramble again but goddamn i write so much ig bcs i want to be understood so badly. i. really need that sincerity n communicatio#n authenticity w others for it to be. really real? life.. i can't put it into words rn but literally just in one word that holds so much.#life. yeah. hang on i still have assignments to do T_T n i ended up rambling sm but. i'll stop overthinking it.#nothing to be insecure abt w your own self unless it hmm. help no i won't ramble about that rn either but rn for me#just for me i know enough to say that i shouldn't have to be afraid. with the way i see the world i know there's so much more meaning n#maybe.. nah not maybe. fuck if hope's 'naive' as aymeric says as well. personally no matter what i'll stick to myself. hold true to that.#n my determination with this will never be half-assed n. help i'll stop now fr but i feel better now c:#BACK TO SUTEKI DA NE THOUGH. FROM END TO START FR 🥹 HELP NO START TO END I MEAN. 🥺🫶🏼
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Ruin
Alexia Putellas x Pre-Teen!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Pre-Teen!Reader
Summary: Your guardians fight for custody
You had dealt with lawyers before.
You had dealt with case workers before.
Nearly your whole life in the system meant you were familiar with both.
Seeing them never got easier as you sit outside the meeting room, hunched over as you stare at the phone battery that's rapidly depleting.
You'd plugged it in to charge last night but it hadn't.
The wire's been faulty for a while now, one of those chargers that you have to move to the right angle to make sure it works.
You suppose it must have moved in the night.
You can just about hear the low murmur of conversations if you strain your ears but you don't.
You don't want to hear what they're saying.
"Drink? Food?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
You turn away from your case worker, angling your body as far away as you can get without falling off your seat.
She'd been responsible for you for eleven years, right back to when you were a baby and your first set of parents had their rights terminated. You thought last year would be the last you would see of her.
"I'm fine," You insist.
"It's okay not to be."
"I know that. It still doesn't change the fact that I'm fine."
You both know you're lying.
She knows you well enough to not bring it up again, merely offering you a few of the hard boiled sweets from the reception desk.
"They won't decide anything without your input, you know."
"They're adults," You say dismissively," That's all they ever do."
"You're twelve now. Your wishes are taken into account."
"Only if it goes to court. Only in front of a judge. If they sign an agreement here and now, they don't have to talk to me about it."
Your caseworker looks like she wants to say something but a bang of a table has her stopping.
Jenni's voice in the meeting room is raised and Alexia's rises to meet it.
The fractures in the relationship were already there by the time you arrived. Small at first but steadily growing bigger and bigger.
You hadn't known it at the time but you know it now.
You had been adopted to salvage their relationship.
It's what a lot of people did. Have a child in the hope that it would bring the relationship together again.
It had worked, for a short while but the cracks hadn't healed. They'd simply been painted over for a little while. All it had taken was a little rock of the foundations, a little change in the norm.
They always came back and soon Alexia and Jenni were arguing where they thought you couldn't hear them and driving separately to practice.
Now, Jenni was moving to Mexico and the tender hooks they were on were failing.
You were hanging on a cliff and they were too busy arguing to notice your grip slipping, ready to plummet into the abyss below.
"You're not taking my daughter from me!"
You stand, unwilling to hear anymore.
"I'm going to the toilet."
It's a single stall, a door lock that you use as soon as you're inside.
You sit on the toilet lid, willing your shaking hands to stop as you clench them into fists. Your fingernails dig into the soft flesh until you're almost certain you've broken skin.
You hate this.
You hate the lawyers and their cool indifference towards you.
You hate your caseworker and her faux sympathy.
You hate Alexia and Jenni for putting you in this situation in the first place. You hate them for thinking a child would salvage an already broken relationship. You hate that they've made you their daughter. You hate that they've tied themselves into you in a way that you can't get away from.
Your phone dies, the music from your earphones cutting out instantly and you sigh, tugging them out of your ears and wrapping them around your phone.
They're an old pair, still wired and plugged in.
Jenni and Alexia have showered you in presents since the moment the adoption went through. You had a pair of Bluetooth ones but you've never used them, not since the presents stopped coming from them together and started coming separately.
They were always one upping each other.
If Alexia bought you Airpods, Jenni bought you a pair of Beats.
If Alexia bought you a Switch, Jenni bought you an XBox.
You blow out all your air noisily, the shuffling at the door alerting you to the fact that your caseworker is outside.
You flush the toilet to keep up appearances, washing your hands and stubbornly not looking in the mirror.
"They should be finishing up," She tells you and you glower.
"For now."
They're not finished up in the slightest and you slump in your seat.
There's no music to distract you from their raised voices, tension and anger building between them.
"And what about her training?! You'd take her away from all that? To what? Gallivant around in Mexico?!"
That's Alexia now, you'd recognise her anger anywhere.
You imagine she's standing now, palms flat on the desk as she gets as close to Jenni as possible. Her lawyer, a straight laced man in a fancy suit and a disinclination to children, probably sits back in his seat, arms spread in a 'how could you tear Alexia away from her child?' pose at the other lawyer.
"Mexico has pools, Alexia! They know how to swim! She can train there!"
That's Jenni.
She's still as angry as earlier, bubbling and boiling inside of her. She's probably standing up too, finger pointing towards Alexia in a brutal jab. Her lawyer pretends he likes kids, pretends to greet you warmly and act like her actually gives a shit about your feelings.
He doesn't and he doesn't even do a good job of pretending.
He's more condescending than anything, talking to you like you're five and don't understand why your guardians are fighting.
"And you'd have her make new friends? Put her in a new swimming club? Her life is here!"
"No, Alexia, your life is here!"
You've never felt more weightless than you were in the pool, just floating around on your back as the water laps at your skin.
You're the fastest swimmer in the region for your age group. Especially in long distance.
Your coaches say you have the stamina.
You think it's because you want to be in the water for as long as possible.
It comes easy to you, mindless, repetitive.
You like to do things you're good at.
The door swings open, slamming against the wall and you sigh.
The yelling has stopped.
Neither Alexia nor Jenni want to make a scene in public.
The meeting room is a free-for-all but outside they can pretend to be civil. Everyone will pretend they didn't hear them at each other's throats a few moments ago.
You stand, plugging in your earphones even though your phone is dead.
You've found that neither of them want to talk to you if you've got your earphones in.
"Say goodbye to your mother, y/n," Alexia says, already strolling over to wait for you by the door.
Your eyes linger on her before they flick to Jenni.
You shove your hands into your pocket and mutter," Bye."
She's still looking at Alexia too, eyes narrowed in anger before they softens a fraction as she turns to you.
Her hand rests on your shoulder, thumb rubbing ever so slightly.
"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? You've got that competition."
"Yeah, I do."
"I'll be cheering."
You manage a weak smile.
Alexia and Jenni will be on opposite ends of the room, pretending that the other doesn't exist.
"I love you," Jenni says and you sigh.
"Yeah."
Alexia is waiting by the door, impatiently, foot tapping. When you join her, she starts off again, down the stairs and to the car parked up front.
"Not sitting in the front with me?" She tries to tease as you slip into the seat behind her but you're in no mood," I'll let you choose the music."
You hold up your dead phone, earphones in and her small smile turns into a frown.
"Well, if you're sure..."
"I'm sure."
"So..." Alexia drums her fingers on the steering wheel," That competition tomorrow...You excited?"
You stare out the window. "I guess."
You're in no mood to talk, clearly, so Alexia settles on looking back at you through the rear view mirror periodically.
"Don't worry," She tells you," This will all get sorted out soon."
You wish it hadn't happened in the first place.
You with you had never met them.
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#jenni hermoso x reader#jenni hermoso#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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okay i've played a bit more and i have a lot of thoughts about Taash and the way gender is being handled overall in this game...
first i will say the positives which is that i do really appreciate the attempt at incorporating trans characters both in the world as companions and allowing us to make those options in the cc. and as someone who also writes dark fantasy stories with trans characters i do understand how difficult it can be to incorporate these identities into a world that doesn't necessarily have the same language as we do; but overall the way they've approached this feels very... i've seen some people call it unpolished but i actually feel the opposite. it's almost clinical (therapy-speak in general has been a main criticism of this game) and it's way too polished, in my opinion, which is what makes it so jarring to see.
there has been a trans character established in game previously, there is already a precedent for these identities to exist in this world, and they have never used this language before. the way Iron Bull talked about Krem felt far more realistic and integrated into the world of Thedas comparatively. was it perfect? no, of course not, but i chafe at the idea that it needs to be perfect, anyways. this is another problem the game has; past characters have had their flaws completely ironed out (Isabela is now a paragon of friendship and returns cultural artifacts instead of looting them, Dorian has multiple codex entries wallowing about how he used to defend slavery, the Crows have suddenly become a big found family-- on and on and on) and while i have my criticisms of some of these flaws (Dorian's pro-slavery rant in inqusition still makes my eyes roll) i dislike the way they're handling these changes and just expecting us to ignore all of the lore and worldbuilding from previous games. and all of this "political correctness" only for the game to still be so racist.
which brings me back to Taash.... Taash is very strange character, lacking agency around both their gender and their culture. they are simply a mouthpiece for the writer. while yes, it should always be made undeniable that your character is trans or gay or xyz, Taash really does only exist to be nonbinary. and to be clear, a nonbinary character like them could be very interesting, if their writing wasnt so... white. we know that the Qun has different ideas about gender than Rivain (and elsewhere) and this could have been a very interesting exploration of that; however, it is obvious that the Qun (and Taash's mother) are meant to be depicted negatively, and ultimately it ends with the player (not Taash) choosing between their two cultures. their gender is clearly far more important to the writer and the only facet of their identity they seemed willing to explore, which makes me question why even make this character qunari to begin with...
Neve and Rook are also the two that spur Taash into exploring their gender. this, on the surface, is not a problem for me. i'm playing as a trans Rook and while the dialogue was again very overpolished and clunky i found it kind of endearing. but the way Neve is used as this "foil" for Taash really rubbed me the wrong way. this assumption that Neve has no complicated feelings about her gender or being a woman (which i highly doubt considering the world she lives in & how misogynistic it is) and the implication from Taash that she only dresses the way she does for her mother/other people (which Neve doesn't even get to challenge) is extremely narrow-minded. Taash is the Only character that acknowledges gender; so far, even when flirting with other characters, it's only been Taash that i've been allowed to specify with that my rook is trans, despite Taash already knowing that from our previous conversation (i hope that this changes once i lock in with a specific character so feel free to correct me if it does).
but no one else really seems to have an opinion except that Neve drags Taash around to meet Maevaris, and we get the very goofy note that's just a list of modern gender identities and their definitions. i do partly sympathize with the writers here; again i've had to find a way to incorporate lgbt identities in my own writing and it can be difficult depending on your audience. i understand wanting to be very clear and concise. but this is... just goofy. and this desperation to be so correct around gender while simultaneously writing such an offensively racist narrative is really frustrating.
there's also an inconsistency that comes from this with Taash's character-- they are portrayed as this rough but awkward character that is bossed around by their mother, they are bashful with flirting early on and are almost child-like in comparison to the other characters. and then suddenly you get a scene with them where they very directly ask if you want to have sex and suddenly pin you against the wall. this scene was so jarring to me i referred to it as a jumpscare because WHERE has this character been this entire time? i want to see more of this, more of this character who takes what they want and knows exactly who they are (which they even say multiple times when you first meet them... but then need Neve and Rook to hold their hand about it?)
i do really like Taash, i like the idea of them, of this very self-assured and almost cocky character who is also a little silly, this person who is so sure of who they are but has to deal with their mother undermining them while also navigating a culture they feel disconnected from, and i also like that the player can help them through it... but the execution is awful, shallow, and racist. the idea that someone can only choose One culture is so offensive and also a laughable conclusion when compared to their coming out as nonbinary. the writer clearly understands that people don't exist within these little boxes when it comes to gender, but can't wrap their head around it when it comes to someone's culture-- which is also a very important part of a person's identity and often contributes directly to their gender and how they feel about it. all of these different characters have different experiences, come from different places, Davrin and Bellara are Dalish and even have differing opinions on what that means for themselves, but the game doesn't touch on any of it. all we get is a lecture from the writer that is completely removed from the world it's presented in.
i wish i could understand what it was this character was meant to convey. i stand by saying that it doesn't need to be perfect; i know there are people that had problems with Krem in inquisition, but at least Krem was his own person. Taash doesn't even get that here... i harp a lot about character agency when i give writing advice on my other blog but it really is so so so important for marginalized characters-- both gay, trans, and especially characters of color-- to have their own agency around their identities that is completely separate from the player & player choice, that allows them to exist as their own person within the world you've created, and i think Taash's character and story is an unfortunate example of exactly what not to do.
#honestly i should be making these posts over on that blog but im scared of dragon age fans#and this blog is much smaller and not connected to rpg/IF fandoms lmao#datv spoilers#datv critical#taash#long post#da posting
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