#they're who I'm referring to whenever I tag something as

[norgeant]

Thinking about indie music artist logan and drummer in big well known band lando

Yapping outside of the tags this time 😼:

- Lando watches from back stage because too many people would recognise him at the random ass music gig Logan got

- Logan refuses to get any explicit help from Lando because even though he could get sponsored/funded millions, it just wouldn't be right

- Logan plays the guitar (acoustic or electric?) and a little bit of the keyboard

- Logan doesn't usually sing in his own songs because he's too embarrassed, Lando thinks his voice is beautiful

- Logan collabs often with other small music artists because he needs a someone to sing the lyrics

- would Lando take Logan on his tours and stuff? Busy schedules so maybe they're long distance half the time too? Maybe Lando can't make it to a lot of Logan's gigs but when he does Logan becomes so much more confident

- Ugh idk who to have in Lando's band! Like, it's a got to be a rock band or something right? So maybe Daniel? Maybe maybe Max (it's just gonna end up being all of Lando's friends fr 😭)

- I'm debating whether I like the idea of norgeant being a secret relationship type thing, like obviously the public doesn't know but what if Lando's band mates don't know either??

- ^ bc if the band mates know then when Logan is at a concert/show, he'd be back stage or vip, but if they didn't know (or Logan wanted to be treated like a regular fan like everyone else) then he would be in the crowd and Lando would notice or try and find him in the sea of ppl

- there's a handful of Logan fans that swear they saw norgeant together and are a mixture of confused, amazed and shocked by it

- Guys I forgot the band needs a band name plus Lando isn't the "leader" I overthought and yet didn't think enough at the same time

- I can't just say fuck it and name it McLaren, Red Bull etc. its gotta be good! And obviously it's got to be a reference to something f1/quote/meme related because underneath it all I'm still a basic bitch

- okay throwback to when Jenson asked for Daniel's autograph , that with norgeant! Lando at the meet and greets and shit and Logan is in line and when he gets to the front they have this subtle (*cough* not subtle at all but ppl just assume it's the average flirty/passive aggressive fan *cough*) flirty/inside joke banter:

"Are you free tonight...?" ;)

"Unlucky, mate, going to some fancy restaurant with this random person"

"Wow this random person must be lucky to have a boyfriend as "nice" as you"

"Yeah, well, they'll be lucky enough to get dessert as long as they don't order any seafood"

"Do you want a good luck kiss with that wish?" :3

🦅 RAHHHHH THE NORGEANT BRAINROT ‼️

I WILL be back to edit this each time I think of smth new to add and I'll even put little dates whenever I update bc thats on being organised for once 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

hi logan ! i’m a lil late for the ttrpg meme but 39 - 42 for thaavia pls ??

Sam. Sam I love you, don't worry about being late, the timing on this was perfect, I was having... not a great night and this definitely helped.

Under a cut cause this got beefy. And anyone who wants to send me these, there's a link to the ask game at the bottom!

39. are they insecure about their appearance? how about their personality? what aspects specifically worry them?

Picked a great one right off the bat for sure. She's definitely not insecure about her appearance. She's not arrogant either, and knows full well that since she's built like a bear (both in the animal way and in the gay way) she's not exactly Standard Pretty. She knows she's not everyone's thing, but who is? Thaavia likes how she looks, and while she may not be the kind of person making folks swoon in the streets, she's also never been short of potential partners when she wanted one either. (Also she knows that even if she's not someone's type, there's no denying she has amazing hair. She busts her ass to keep it nice even while traveling, it's her one big vanity.)

As far as being insecure about her personality, that's... a tougher question. For most of her career as a medic/healer paladin, she's had a fair few cases of patients Reading Into It when she was just doing her job. There's been a fair (or rather unfair) bit of getting put on a pedestal by someone who just sort of assumed they knew what she was like and having a fairly brutal reality check that they rarely took well. So she's worked hard on putting up a front of being cold, distant, and gruff to try and nip that in the bud. And she's gotten very good at it. (16 charisma and she uses all of it to be a bitch.)

Either way, the end result is the same; most folks don't bother to get close enough to see her, to the point where she can see where the line is drawn on someone's perception of her, whether it's Thaavia they see or Paladin Godbarter™. I wouldn't go so far as to say insecure, because to me that feels more active than just a lack of confidence, but that could just be my own nitpick. Regardless, she never expects it when someone A) bothers to look past Paladin Godbarter™ to see the person under the reputation, and B) prefers Thaavia to the version of herself people like to build her up to be.

As far as what worries her, she's got some rough stuff in her past and some bad habits that she just... never fed rather than properly breaking and she's terrified that in the right situation they'll make themselves known again. All during her childhood she was raised being told she'd be a great leader to their tribe one day if she'd just learn to make The Hard Decisions, and while she prides herself on her greatest rebellion against her upbringing being her mercy, she also remembers exactly how she almost listened, what that choice almost cost, and what that promise could possibly bring out in her again. (I will not elaborate on specifics in the ask because Kade. I've been itching to reveal the big dramatic backstory stuff in game for over a year now. I really want to talk about it tho, so I could definitely be convinced outside of an ask.)

40. if you had to remake this character right now, how would you change them?

Probably not a lot of huge changes, actually. Maybe tweak her height a little (still freakishly tall even for a goliath, either down to 8 feet even or up to 8'6 just so she's the same height as Lucy while kneeling, because I enjoy when Kade threatens me with violence), possibly make her just a tiny bit older, an even 40 rather than 38. Maybe change her subclass to Redemption paladin rather than Devotion, but even that's a coin toss because both are Incredibly Thematic for her, but also mildly moot considering I plan on changing her to a homebrew of my own as part of her arc (Oath of Hubris, it's a whole thing that I'd love to go further in depth about.)

Also, I'd probably see about putting my foot down and making her and her fire genasi partner Thyris parents. Velita may not be canon, but she lives on in my heart.

41. how do you keep notes for this character, if at all?

.......I have. So many notes. I have the shared character document for her and her twin brother that details their backstory, NPCs to pull from, and tidbits of goliath culture stuff I made up for our setting and the DM went "Yeah I dig that, yoink." I have the actual in-game notes that I've been taking for, again, over a year at this point (two years in february) and a refined notes document I really need to finish and share with the rest of the table because my Stream of Consciousness style of typing is uh. Not super conducive to looking for specific details without a LOT of Ctrl+F and luck. I've got a document that's literally just her in-character journal of medical/herbal knowledge in the front half and scraps of poetry, songs, and books that she's jotted down because she loved them enough to not want to forget them. And, of course, 80% of my discord dms between me and Kade for the last two-ish years have been about Lucy and Thaavia that I can go back to.

I take so many notes. Otherwise the brain gremlins eat the thoughts so I can't get them back.

42. can they dance?

Oh definitely. It's not her first pick and she's not gonna be particularly dazzling with it, but she knows how to lead, how to follow, and how not to step on toes. That partner of hers I mentioned, Thyris? He's a bard. (Technically Bard/Sorcerer, with a significantly heavier leaning into sorc, but the point still stands.) He made sure she at least knew enough to keep from looking silly. Plus it was, and continues to be, a great excuse to just hold dance with her for several hours.

And to the rest of y'all, please for the love of god send me some more, I am chewing on the walls since all my dnd games keep getting cancelled for one reason or another!

[bweirdart]

#mARTch 2024

text version (with more info!) under the readmore! please check it out if you're confused about anything <3

F.A.Q

do i have to draw every day? no!!!! there are skippable days built into the event, please use them whenever you need them! i really don't want anyone getting a wrist injury!

can you share my art? yep! i try to share entries to @bweirdevents daily during the event!! the tags can get busy tho so i might miss some posts OTL sorry

what are the tags? #mARTch is the main tag, but this year you might find posts in #mARTch2024 too!

wait, i'm confused about a prompt... full breakdown of all the prompts below ↓ with helpful hints if you're stuck!

_____

INTRO WEEK

this week is all about your artistic identity ... technically, you don't have to draw anything new this week if you have some art that already fits. the starter days are:

1 ⭐ self portrait who are you? it doesn't have to be you IRL .. if you feel more comfortable drawing a fursona or mascot, that's fine too! if you don't wanna draw, you can also just share old self portraits today and talk about why you drew yourself that way!

2 🤍 inspirations see how this day doesn't have a star? that means it's optional and you don't have to do it at all! but if you really wanna- tell us all about what inspires you to create art! this could be anything from the people that inspire you, the shows you like, the pins on your big messy pinterest board, or concepts that you're drawn to! you can draw something about it, talk about it, or just post your inspirations! anything is fine

3 ⭐ fav thing to draw what do you like drawing most? backgrounds? animals? one specific animal? bust of your oc facing left? cars? the same anime boy over and over and over? no judgement!! show us :)

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STUDY WEEK

this is the week we actually start drawing from reference! polished art is not required at all, quick sketch studies are fine! please don't burn yourself out

4 🤍 plant

5 🤍 body

6 ⭐ animal

7 🤍 object

8 🤍 food

9 🤍 face

10 ⭐ hand

these ones are pretty self explanatory! you can do them as realistic studies, or adapt them into your own art style, it's all fine! you can reference from your own photos or from resources on the web.. have fun!

_____

COLOUR WEEK

this is the week for playing with palettes and working on your colour theory skills! if you're really struggling with these ones, don't worry about drawing scenes or characters, you can just have fun splashing colours around on an abstract canvas!

11 🤍 RGB a set or primary colours typically used in digital/screen art - red, green and blue!

12 🤍 CMYK a set of primary colours typically used in traditional/print art - cyan, magenta, yellow ... and key (black!)

for both of these days ↑ you can add in black and white. and feel free to combine the two days into one, if you're struggling with a three-colour palette! use all six!

13 ⭐ WARM COLOURS the warm side of the colour wheel, reds oranges and yellows!

14 🤍 MONOCHROME monochrome doesn't mean black and white ... it means one colour! that can be any colour at all- shades of red, shades of purple, shades of green .. or yeah, grey if you really want!

15 🤍 COMPLIMENTARY complimentary colours are the ones opposite each other on the colour wheel! they're kinda married

16 🤍 YOUR FAV COLOURS pick any palette that works for you! where's your comfort zone? what looks nice to you? what colour combos do you always go back to?

17 ⭐ COOL COLOURS the cool side of the colour wheel, purples, blues and greens!

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CREATIVITY WEEK

this week is all about vibes! try to create something that matches the mood of the prompt .. they're vague on purpose! don't overthink it, just draw from the heart!

18 🤍 SMALL you could draw something that's really small, like an ant .. or draw on a canvas that's really small .. or use a really small brush .. get creative with it!

19 🤍 DANGER try to capture the adrenaline .. the rush .. the fear that you associate with the word danger!

20 ⭐ SOFT soft colours, soft textures, soft vibes ... whatever makes you comfy!

21 🤍 MIDNIGHT darkness and secrecy .. spooky witchy vibes .. the tranquility of a forest at night .. the fun of a late-night party .. there's lots of ways you can take this!

22 🤍 POWER what does this word make you think about? superpowers? control and oppression? literal electrical power? something else?

23 🤍 CHILL chill as in calm? or chill as in cold? who knows .. it's up to YOU!

24 ⭐ LOUD try to draw something that feels LOUD! BRASH! IN YOUR FACE! how can you convey sound through art?

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FUN + GAMES WEEK

this week is just for enjoying yourself! take it easy and have fun! also .. another reminder! there are skippable prompts! if you're tired and struggling to get to the finish line, please don't hesitate to skip a day!!! or multiple days!! as many as you need!!!

25 🤍 TRY A NEW ART STYLE copy the art style of a show you like, ask a friend if you can try their style, draw the eyes a new way, develop a totally new style on the spot... whatever you want!

26 🤍 DRAW WITH YOUR NON-DOMINANT HAND righties, draw with your left! lefties, draw with your right! ambidextrous nation ... our time to show off!

27 ⭐ DRAW WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED don't peek! try to draw something without looking! if you really want, you can colour it with your eyes open after you draw the lines/sketch with your eyes closed... but please try not to cheat with the actual drawing part!

28 🤍 RE-DRAW SOMETHING OLD find some old artwork you like, or something you feel like you can do better on now, and give it another go!

29 🤍 RE-DRAW A MEME find a silly picture on the internet to redraw .. do you have any in-jokes with your besties?

30 🤍 DRAW A GIFT FOR A FRIEND create something for someone you love <3

31 ⭐ FREE CHOICE final day! you can draw anything you want today! show off your skills! draw something you've been meaning to draw! whatever!

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please refrain from reblogging this post after march ends - next year's prompts will be different, thank you! if you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to shoot me an ask!

[asiandra-dash]

Hi i saw u wanna rewrite akikasa hcs PLEASE WRITE ME SOME I BEG /nf /lh

HJKJSKDKHS AKIKASA anyways I was referring to a short story I wrote a while ago but THIS!!! IS (I think) MY FIRST AKIKASA RELATED ASK!!!! I MUST WRITE!!!!!! All I have to do is figure out which thoughts are based on canon and which ones are AUs-

I took 18 days to finally post this because I kept getting ideas and had to force myself to stop because this is way too long 888 words man this ain't fanfiction also if this is illegible I'm sorry none of my headcanon posts will ever be organized no beta or read more we die like my grades after my orchestra field trip

Starting with basic shit Akito is SO so in denial about his feelings and when he's finally fed up with it he chucks it down to infatuation (It is not)

And Tsukasa is an oblivious idiot to everything even though he has a stupid crush on this ginger he just refuses to say anything because he still thinks Akito despises his guts

My guy every little bit of physical contact you make with carrot head makes him look like color hex #ff0000 RGB 255, 0, 0 how do you not notice this

Tsukasa fell first, and they both fell harder >:)

You know Tsukasa'a 1* card where Akito saved the poor man from a spider or something that's when it happened Tsukasa didn't know at first cause like haha who the hell falls in love with someone over something so small I barely even know the guy

If Akito confessed first, after a long moment of awkward silence and Akito wishing the floor would eat him alive, Tsukasa is suddenly hugging him and crying (That's a yes btw)

If Tsukasa confessed first, it would take a bit (probably a few days or weeks) but eventually Akito with the support of everyone finally accepts his feelings for Tsukasa (He didn't tell anyone about the confession btw it was probably Akiyama or one of Tsukasa's friends that told everyone also the threat of Rui was probably another reason he couldn't deny lmao)

Every date, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DATE, Tsukasa will always bring or buy some cheesecakes or pancakes for Akito

And if he doesn't the next time he brings lunch for Akito he'll bring him more cheesecake than he usually does to make up for it

When Tsukasa found out Akito's favorite flowers were sunflowers, he sometimes brings one for him too :D

Tsukasa probably got a pair of sunflower clip-on earrings too (Or whatever they're called)

Tsukasa loves to tackle hug Akito and it never fails to make the ginger laugh <3

Tsukasa borrows Akito's jackets a lot (At least twice a week).

Akito complains about it but let's be honest he loves it when he gets it back and all he smells on it is Tsukasa's scent

Tsukasa loves giving gifts to Akito even if there's no special occasion, usually some type of jewelry like earrings and the next day Akito's most likely wearing it

Obviously, they invite each other to their shows, and sometimes their other bandmates too

During WxS shows Akito's supportive and is internally loud but during VBS concerts Tsukasa is HOLLERING Akito's name and singing along if he knows the lyrics it's embarrassing but if you look closely enough you can tell it hypes up Akito a little more and he tries even harder (An has taken note of this and teases him nonstop about it)

Neither of them are a huge fan of PDA but if you stare long enough you'll probably miss a sneaky little kiss when you blink

That or if Tsukasa's in a really good mood he'll practically cling to Akito (Which is like 50% of the time tbh)

That one post I made on my side blog is real and so is the first tag

Yes Ena and Saki are supportive but holy shit Akito wants to fucking strangle Ena whenever she brings it up (This applies to An too)

Tsukasa helps Akito be more open with his feelings and Akito helps Tsukasa deal with negativity better

Around people, Akito still treats Tsukasa how he would (if Tsukasa isn't being clingy) but once they're alone Akito acts like he's touch starved and refuses to leave Tsukasa alone

Akito sometimes helps Tsukasa with practicing for his shows. He's obviously not as good but he's trying and Tsukasa appreciates his efforts

Tell Akito to say wonderhoy and he'll look at you like you're fucking insane but have Tsukasa tell him and he'll say it as unenthusiastically as he can manage

And then Tsukasa will look at him all :((( and Akito does it with more energy and "jesus fucking christ the things I do to make Tsukasa happy" (It's just a wonderhoy idk why you're so pissed /hj)

I do not understand Japanese and I am not caught up on that one event story with furry Akito so correct me if I'm wrong (about the italicized part) but before Akito gets over his fear of dogs Tsukasa always made sure they would steer clear of them and if one suddenly appeared this blond pink theatre kid is going to protect his pathetic fucking boyfriend with his life

Rui: Is that a hickey? | Tsukasa: No! It’s just a mosquito bite. | Akito, walking into the room: Hey, guys. | Rui: Hi, mosquito.

Whenever one of them stays up really late when staying over. the other tries to convince them to go to bed and cuddle/snuggle with them and it works.

Tsukasa practically begs meanwhile, if possible, Akito hugs Tsukasa from behind and basically just collapses onto him half asleep mumbling into his ear (Can you tell I'm tired it's 1 AM and I got 3 hours of sleep yesterday I'm running off of a power nap rn)

Obviously, Tsukasa can't do anything with Akito like that so he basically carries Akito to the room of whoever they're staying at

Akikasa supremacy WHO'S WITH ME AKIKASA!!!!!!! (I'm dying on a hill please)

Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )

[mollysunder]

Another Clue in Viktor's Tarot Card?

I think I figured something out. In an older post I talked about how Arcane used tarot symbology to possibly hint at future developments for season 2. It was specifically how Viktor and Jinx fit into the role of the Magician and Death tarots respectively and how it works for Sevika. There was one thing that was bugging the hell out of me when i finished it. What was the symbol within the Machine Herald's grasp?

At first I thought it was the mathematical symbol for fish (∝), without the curves, like how Ekko' infinity symbol are sharp triangles instead of round loops. I thought it could mean Viktor needed to recognize the balance and proprtions necessary to unlock the Arcane and be an indirect reference to how similar but different Ekko and Viktor are. But I think the answer might be simpler.

It's an 'X', sideways. Obviously, the 'X' could refer to the x-factor the Magician needs to unlock the Hexcore's power. And that's the fun trick of it because there's only been one person I know in League that's been explicitly associated with this kind of 'X', it's Jinx.

When Jinx's character debuted in League of Legends, instead of releasing a bio first, they had her 'vandalize' Vi's page with graffiti (really fun marketing move). The end of the page had a signature tag that said "X WUZ HERE" because they didn't want to reveal her name so they used this special "X" instead. Later, the tag was just replaced with "JINX WAS HERE.". I thought it was a one-time thing, but no, Jinx's special 'X' still remains in the game to refer to her presence. For example, one of Caitlyn's gag interactions has her shooting her rifle that's been tampered with by Jinx. And when it happens Caitlyn goes, "Ready, aim... (gasps) Urgh! Why am I not surprised?". Who else could it be?

So this symbol is still associated with Jinx, specifically as a substitution for her name, and it's in the Machine Herald's grasp. I don't think this is meant to hint at any future control Viktor would have over Jinx, nor would he want to. It could mean that he will need a partner in Jinx to help him complete the Hexcore once he and Jayce have their falling out and he's cast out from Piltover (some real Silco and Singed vibes honestly). But maybe it's another hint at how similar their actions will be perceived by us, the audience, like they fly under the same banner of void-touched outcasts playing offense and defense against Piltover. And more so that they will have a deeply impact full relationship with one another. Look at Ekko and Vi, they both bare her tag and you can't pretend she hasn't left her mark on them and their motivations. It's just odd that for Viktor, her tag is in a different position. Maybe it's a past, present, future thing.

I wouldn't bring this up if the creators of Arcane hadn't said that there were plenty of hints at season 2 that the audience hasn't picked up yet, so maybe this is another one. Also, I have noticed that Jinx sometimes has Ekko's infinity symbol on her marketing but it's still solidly an Ekko thing. Even when she has it on her Flame Chomper grenades it's used explicitly to frame Ekko and the Firelights for her damage because it's so well associated with him.

Update: I don't know why I'm just remembering this, but Jinx is also just wearing a big X on her shirt. In fact she's covered in X's, her shirt, her necklacklace choker thing, her shoelaces, her belt, her bandage, the back of her shoe they all have X's in her design.

Update 2: I found more X's! They're all over her background in the 'Enemy' music video. The art really isn't being subtle when you notice.

Update 3: Pretty sure this is the last one... maybe. After rewatching I noticed Vi's prison uniform actually has the symbol as a part of her ID number. Altogether her ID would be X516. Though whenever Vi was referred to as prisoner 516. Alone it actually says her name in Roman numerals, 5=V, 1=I, and 6=VI (a but redundant). If we treat it the 'X' as Jinx's name it makes Jinx and Vi before Vi even knows Powder has grown into Jinx, already intertwining their identities.

Update 4: I really thought I was done, but I wasn't. I found that both of Ekko's loc rings (which look similar to the bullet shells Jinx uses in her braids) have partial infinities that look similar to her symbol. Ekko specifically is represented with a complete hourglass, and this is literally the one exception. The fact that this symbol is visible when he talks about Zaun and Silco makes me feel ridiculous. If this is a subtle hint at the way Jinx affects Ekko... wow. Jinx isn't even dead, but she's practically haunting all these characters.

Seriously, it's a purposeful choice to do this, his game icon has full hour glasses. But in Arcane they're not, they're drawn to be similar to Jinx's symbol. Just like with Viktor and Vi, it means internally, not even consciously, he's seeking her out for her.

[escespace]

Merlin and Arthur BUT...

An undercover reconnaissance mission has gone wrong. Not just one, but three knights from Camelot's elite group are wounded, and after a night in the woods, they're out of medical supplies so Merlin has started looking for herbs that serve specific functions such as antiseptic or analgesic, if possible he also looks for muds that Gaius taught him and other useful elements to mix improvised poultices. He has made improvised bandages and immobilization splints, and even more impressive, improvised thread and carved a wooden needle in case stitches open.

But no one seems too worried, even though they are facing a return trip of almost three days. Arthur is on the edge of his nerves (although he doesn't show it because kings don't do that) and he's not the one with the multiple lacerations of Gwaine, or a nearly fractured ankle as Elyan, or that bleeding head bruise that made Percival vomit even what he ate as a child. Instead, whenever they are not resting or too far gone in their pain, the knights joke and chatter as if it were just another hunting trip.

Arthur doesn't understand it, but he's not one to look down on his men keeping their morale high even in bad times So he makes a comment about how everything will be okay and that they shouldn't worry, which is responded to with:

«Of course, there is no one else who would take better care of us» Placing a hand on Merlin's shoulder to playfully shake him

And they may say it in a light-hearted way, but It is evident that they mean it and sue him! But Arthur is surprised.

Somehow that comment paved the way for the anecdotes to start flowing. Like the time Gwaine ended up splitting his head open trying to escape from an engaged lady's room jumping from roof to roof and as Gaius was treating a family outside It was up to Merlin to sew it, and there was no scar left after that !

Leon also contributed his own story of a time when a rabbit It didn't sit well in his stomach during a mission through the woods and if it hadn't been for Merlin it might have ended up compromising the success.

Stories came and went and Arthur couldn't stop thinking. Because his problem wasn't that he couldn't reconcile the fact that all his most trusted men were praising Arthur's ability to cure them, no. His problem is why the hell he can't reconcile that idea. The boy has been studying with the best physician in Camelot for almost a decade It would be hard to believe if he didn't learn anything, right? RIGHT????... Damn! But he's not even a boy anymore. When did that happen? What's even happening? Merlin does not change, Merlin is Merlin, he is his only constant, he is a force that ground him.

Anyway, this idea is in my head as a kind of 3+1 that I'm not sure I can develop. If anyone is interested in writing it, feel free to do so BUT TAG ME PLEASEEEEEE. i want to read something around this lines...

The other scenes I could think of have to do with taking care of some children while Arthur thinks Merlin is in the tavern and he is looking for him then late arthur embarrassed himself through a series of comments In front of someone (possibly Gwen or a courtier) who does know where Merlin is thinks Arthur is making reference to sick children... And a snippet of Arthur being a baby for just a minor cold and Merlin being the only one he allows to take care of him even though he continues to underestimate his medical knowledge until suddenly damn! Merlin knows what he's talking about BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, he is the only one he would let see him in such a state and that is why he only allows him to help him and it's not only out of convenience as he first thought ... It would end with Arthur defending Merlin in front of some older people (perhaps) who doubt his ability because they see him too young.

[angelofchaos001]

Meet Shale!

Okay I made a proper introductory post for Shale! (Schist will come once I figure out their design) I'll make them a separate post for all the dialogue I came up with.

some spoilers for the game but not a lot, also tagging time: @doodlebug091 @mellow-mooon @sawyer-is-eepy @a-crawling-chaos (Just poking at my followers/moots who I know like Outer Wilds)

Alright! Let's start the bidding at this beauty of a reference. I know it's got some messy colors and no I don't know which layer the two random dots are on to erase them, but I'm proud because I drew this without needing to reference someone else's posing art. I just used my own arms and legs to figure it out and winged it and it looks like a person. I'm proud.

While we're on the topic, I might as well discuss my thought process for their design. This is Shale when they're not busy exploring dangerous ice asteroids. I tried to make the design look comfortable, and that's the main thought behind it. Shale likes scarves. They like fingerless gloves. They like baggier shorts. They despise long pants. They don't like wearing bright colors. They like grays and browns. It's Shale in their peak of comfort.

And then we've got this one! Also done without a pose reference. I actually did draw a whole spacesuit originally, but then covered it up with that big coat they're wearing. Anyway, Shale's suit is designed to be bulky, thick, insulted, everything they'd need to explore space properly. But to add onto that, they brought the scarf and coat for extra warmth on the Interloper. A lot of their patchwork fixes were done by them on the fly, and they even made their viola case all on their own. Shale uses yellow as their bright coloration because they hate the color orange. They have a ton of rope, ice picks, and grippy boots because they knew they were going to an ice place. And that antennae on their helmet is meant to pick up distant signals, so far it has not picked up anything new.

Now it's time for what nobody came here for, the infodump about their history and personality!

Shale developed a fascination with space at a very young age. Extremely young. All it took was young Shale getting one look through a telescope to become completely obsessed with the idea that they, someday, would join the well-known travelers out there and do something legendary. Sometimes, when things lined up right, Shale got to opportunity to talk to the travelers over radio. They loved hearing stories of Feldspar's glory and dreamed to be immortalized like they were.

Once they were allowed to join Outer Wilds Ventures and start learning how to be an astronaut, Shale wasted no time being both a delight to teach and an absolute headache to watch over. Whenever they weren't learning or doing their part in the village (Shale helped keep the observatory clean), they were working on their own little project. With some help from Slate, they attempted to make a jetpack just like the spacesuits had. They got precisely two attempts at this before they were shut down, but the first attempt went off mostly fine. Despite the device not working, Shale landed mostly safely in the water and their only injuries were some scrapes and a sprained ankle.

Shale never stopped writing new ideas, but didn't physically attempt any more jetpacks for a while. Instead, they focused on studying and getting closer to the other trainees they were learning alongside. They did grow close to the protagonist, and another recruit named Tin, though weren't able to click as well with the slightly older hearthians, Schist and Bismuth. Most of their time was still spent with their mentors, but whenever hatchling wasn't working with Hal on the translator, Shale liked to be around them.

When they were a little older and nearing the end of their training, Shale made their second attempt at the jetpack, and came out with a promising result. However, this attempt went far poorer than the previous one. For one, they moved the attempt location to avoid being caught by anyone, sneaking away to some of the further-out geysers with Tin (in case something impossibly went wrong). They even snuck a spacesuit (yoinked from the Zero-G cave), since their plan was to launch from a geyser and leave the planet, just for a moment (They didn't take the jetpack there because the entire point here was testing theirs).

The plan went smoothly, with Shale indeed getting launched from the geyser and coming close to leaving the orbit of the planet, except for the part where their jetpack failed. Catastrophically. It actually exploded on their back, pretty much destroying the "borrowed" suit, but more critically, burning Shale badly. Luckily, they had brought someone else with them, so Tin was able to (try and) catch them so the fall wouldn't kill 'em and then get help for them.

Shale got taken to be medically treated, and everyone agrees they're incredibly lucky to have survived as well as they did. In spite of the massive burns, the suit protected them from the worst of it and it was really only their back that got hurt severely. While the smaller burns along their neck and arms healed fine, much of their back burns scarred and took a lot of time and effort to heal.

So. Obviously Shale got in massive trouble.

Such trouble that not only did they move their launch date back (both for recovery reasons and punishment reasons) significantly, but the others considered forcing Shale out of the space program. In the end, Shale was allowed to stay a recruit as long as they 1) Did not try that again 2) Agreed not to sneak around again 3) Helped repair the suit they'd broken and 4) Spent some time after healing not being in the program (think getting suspended). While in this suspension period, Shale got to watch Schist launch off, still fantasizing about that being them.

Shortly after Schist was Bismuth, and as Shale's own launch date approached they were eager. Tin launched a few days before their own, and so Shale spent a lot of time reassuring them that it'd be fine and they'd do great things. Eventually, it was finally Shale's turn. After camping with Slate (and having an amazing conversation about 'Why did you do the stupid thing' - 'Why did you let me do the stupid thing'), they set off for their ambition: The Interloper. They were determined to find out where it came from.

This ambition proved harder than they'd thought, but it didn't deter Shale from their goal. They became an avid studier of ghost matter by extension of their Interloper studies, and theorized a lot about what happened to the core of the asteroid and it's origins. They also spent some time studying how to make ships designed for deep space, hoping that the frozen Nomai ship they found on the asteroid could hold the answer for that.

Some time later, Tin sent everyone frantic radio messages to come back to Timber Hearth and that they'd discovered something new. Tin desperately tried to explain how they'd found a new hidden spinning disk thing, but as time passed with Tin being unable to provide real evidence, Hearthians began dismissing their claims. Shale was one of the last to give up on Tin's ideas, but eventually waved them off as mad like everyone else. They feel bad for Tin and their situation, but don't disagree with their grounding and truly believe their friend went a little crazy.

After that, some time passed, and then we hit the events of the game. They did radio Hatchling plenty of reassuring words before their launch, though!

[horrorjunki3]

Texas chainsaw massacre slashers with a trans boyfriend

Warnings: NSFW, discussion of the female body, dysforica, Canon typical violence, fluff

I'm tagging @maxthompsonjrmalewife because I made reference to there work!:)

Drayton sawyer

Gay panic -> that's it the moment Nubbins brings you in -> I feel like his brothers see this reaction and decide to keep you alive

His such a simp for you, he just loves his boyfriend so much!!

He will never misgender you but he doesn't 100% understand being trans so you might have to explain it

His very responsible so he will always know how long you've Been binding and after care for taping his on it!

His so sweet when you need to do injections he'll coo at you and call you handsome -> he mainly calls you pretty boy or baby boy

Nsfw

His brain shuts down whenever you initiate something -> he has a pretty low sex drive but w his boyfriend doing hormons he probably gets more action then he ever has

Calls you a minx for distracting him from the saw but God your lips feel so good around his cock

He doesn't care If he tops or bottoms as long as you are both having a good time

He gets riled up whenever your walk around in your boxes and a binder - checks you out and can't help wanna fuck on the kitchen table or while his cooking

Chop top sawyer

His loves his trans bf soo much! finds it so hot -> I generally believe chop loves people who are different, unique and unapologetically themselves!

He isn't good at remembering when you starting binding

His pretty good with trans inclusive language

Loves giving you pride pins and stuff

Also shows you off to victims -> lord have mercy if you get misgendered at all in this house all the Sawyers won't have it.

He absolutely loves helping you with injections he probably did some first aid in the war so his pretty good at it -> gives you a kiss everytime it's finnished

If you use Gel this guys a pain he'll always wanna grope you so he gets excess GEL on him and doesn't see the issue

If you ever get dysforia he likes to nest in your shared room with music and lots of cuddles for you! Telling you how handsome you are and how much he loves you

He gets so excited whenever there's development in your transition!

Totally write songs about you being the prettiest boy everr

NSFW Headcannons

Chop loves the contrast between your masculine and Feminine traits

Loves your T dick sooo much! This man would suck you off everyday if he could -> somedays he won't let you leave the beg until your crying and begging from Cummings so much

He a top, and prefers fucking you but as long as his cocks in you he doesn't care who's more Dom or submissive

Loves loves loves cockwarming you, your so warm and wet and your little cocks begging for him to touch it!

Loves if you get more horny when on T -> y'all are fucking like rabbits and he loves every second of it -> bends you over every table and fucks you silly

If you get morning wood omfg this man will gladly give you head of a morning -> infact he will beg to please morsel can he? Your so hard and he just wants to taste you

Nubbins sawyer

This man's so feral for you and is a Stuttering mess

Loves taking photos of you -> loves documenting your transition!!

He becomes a mess everytime you do something 'masculine' -> his attracted to masculinity so if you pick up something heavy or him his a mess!

He can't help you with injections because his hands shake alot -> he does however old ur hand and give you a lil kiss. "No Nubbins you can't have any Gel" -> "No what why are you trying to eat it?!"

His fave part of you is your arms like doesn't matter if they're skinny, muscular or plump he loves them -> loves being held by his boyfriend

He steals all your clothes!!

If you get dysforia he'll drag you off to the house and coo at you -> does all your chores and gets you whatever you need

I feel like all the Sawyer siblings gender you correctly and it's such a safe place for you! No one bat's an eye when you take your shirt off or your not binding -> your a men to all of them and they love you dearly

NSFW Headcannons

He doesn't care If his top or bottom -> nor does he care of him domming or subbing definition of a switch

Regardless of if his fucking you his a moaning mess

If his in a more dominant mood he loves you sucking his dick so much, you look so handsome on your knees for him

He loves you dominating him, his a good boy and you make him feel so good

He totally calls you daddy you can't change my mind

Loves your ass so much! Will bite it and lives fucking you from behind it's such a pretty view can't help but whine and cum over and over

Bubba sawyer

You being trans most likely saves your life -> bubba found someone like them!!

T4T relationship 🥰

They let you wear any of they're clothes!

He adores his trans partner! Feels so connected and comfortable w you like you understand them!

They're very good at helping with shots and aren't a pain in the ass when it comes to Gel like there brothers

Squeals when there's developments in your transition and gives you the biggest bear hug!

I saw a headcannon about this here it is and the artwork (not mine someone else's but it's sooo good!!) That Thomas and Bubba will make binders out of human skin for they're trans S/O and yeah that is cannon idc what anyone says it's cannon

Of you get dysforus bubba gives you one of there shirts -> it's baggy and makes a great dysforia jumper! They will pull you into there lap and run circles on your thighs your so handsome! They just wanna make you feel better!

Loves when you do a stereotypical boyfriend thing to them like bringing flowers! It's so gender affirming for you and them!

NSFW

They love your chest it doesn't matter what size, shape, small large or post surgery -> they'll love it and pamper your chest with kissed and hickies

Don't care If they're top or bottom but he is more submissive

Another one that loves your T dick -> they legit moan whenever they see it please say they can suck it? Please?

They're so gender reaffirming in bed! And always check on you it's soo cute

Please femininise them in bed they love it, makes them feel so pretty!

Loves when you fuck them -> they're such a slut for your cock it's not even funny

They're sex drive isn't to high but they love making there S/O cum so they have no problem with keeping up with you

They prefer slower more sensual sex -> it makes him feel so loved

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so this post is inspired by a person who sent an ask to @my-nitpicking-self (i hope you don't mind me tagging you), who mentioned the confrontation between katara and zuko in atla, in reference to glimmer's and catra's relationship in spop. i thought it was an interesting comparison, so i'm going to expand on it.

so two very similar scenes in atla and spop: katara and zuko being stuck together in crystal catacombs and glimmer and catra being stuck together in horde prime's ship. two things to note here - zuko was beginning to heal at this point and had almost completely given up his mission of capturing aang, while catra has just finished conquering salineas and was neck-deep in villainy.

as soon as katara sees zuko, she becomes outraged. keep in mind, zuko did not kill katara's mother. but she still had a valid reason to be mad at him. she holds him accountable for everything he has done.

K: Why did they throw you in here? Oh, wait, let me guess. It's a trap. So that when Aang shows up to help me, you can finally have him in your little Fire Nation clutches!

K: You're a terrible person! You know that? Always following us! Hunting the Avatar! Trying to capture the world's last hope for peace! But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood!

Z: You don't know what you're talking about.

K: I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me.

here, zuko doesn't try to argue with katara until she implies that violence and aggression is an inherited thing, because he's from the fire nation. zuko accepts his mistakes but he is also aware that being a fire nation citizen or even royalty alone doesn't make you a bad person. even then, he doesn't raise his voice or lash out at her, he just calmly disagrees.

after katara mentions her mother, he apologizes and sympathizes with her.

Z: I'm sorry. That's something we have in common.

K: I'm sorry I yelled at you before.

Z: It doesn't matter.

K: It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face.

katara also apologizes but zuko understands that it was completely in her right to blame him. and then we get to the crux of the issue. katara's mother was killed years ago but she still hasn't been able to move on from the grief.

now, of course, zuko again turns back to villainy but this was an important confrontation. and it wasn't the only one. as you all know, after zuko's official redemption, the gaang still doesn't trust him and katara is the last person to forgive him. she is still upset and disappointed by the way he betrayed her after they had begun to bond in the catacombs. and zuko has to prove his loyalty before katara could forgive him.

now let's come to glimmer and catra. catra DIRECTLY caused the death of glimmer's mother. and it was recent. glimmer had been grappling with her grief in the last season, to the point where she spirals into a small corruption arc. s4 of spop does NOT forget angella's death.

so obviously, you would expect there to be a confrontation between glimmer and catra in s5, especially since they were alone together in a confined space. but let's see what happened.

Glimmer: You again. Why do you keep coming back here?

Catra: Just...bored, I guess.

Glimmer: No, I mean, Horde Prime told you not to talk to me. He's gonna catch you eventually. Why risk it? ...You're lonely, aren't you?

so far, no confrontation, no apology.

Catra: What do you know? You're the prisoner here. I can go where I want. So, stay here by yourself for all I care.

Glimmer: Okay, okay, you're right. It...helps having someone to talk to. Even if you're the last person I'd ever want to be stuck here with.

Catra: Trust me, Sparkles, the feeling is mutual.

and just like that, they're on better terms now. glimmer doesn't bring up angella's death, she doesn't bring up the way catra treated adora, how she and bow were kidnapped by catra, nothing. they seem more like casual rivals than enemies here. catra doesn't seem guilty in the slightest, she just has to threaten to leave and glimmer immediately makes her stay.

and not just that, they joke about adora's paranoia that was rooted in her trauma, as if it's just a fun quirk. at this point, it's clear that the writers are not even trying to make it seem like they don't favor catra over all the characters.

and the one time glimmer somewhat confronts catra—

G: Please, Catra. Do one good thing in your life!

C: Don't talk to me like you know me! You don't know anything about me!

of course, catra shuts her down immediately. and afterwards, even when catra saves glimmer, she makes it clear that she's only doing it for adora. while on the surface, this might still come off as a good deed, it's clear from her later behaviour that catra's goal wasn't to help either adora or glimmer. my best guess is that she was practically awaiting death at that point and didn't expect to face the consequences of her actions, so she wanted to go out with one good deed, much like shadow weaver.

it's crazy how zuko, who was just an antagonist and has done very little to directly hurt the gaang, faced the consequences of his actions and got a drawn out and detailed redemption; while catra, who spent the entire series hurting the protagonists out of her own interest, gets off scot-free.

any time her past actions are brought up, they are mentioned in the vaguest terms possible i.e. “she made some mistakes” or “shs hurt people”. it's so clear that the writers were hoping that if the other characters forgot everything that catra did, the audience would do the same. and the worst part is that they're right. 90% of the fandom were willing to accept catra's redemption because no one in the show ever holds her accountable or confronts her properly.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Hi Tumblr Nimona and Writing Communities, among others, I have a question for you

Typically when I'm writing fanfic I like to play it safe and rate my fics M whenever I'm iffy on the content. But I recently heard some people say that M fics typically have smut. I never put outright smut in my M fics, they're rated E if they contain smut. My current rating system regarding sexual content is:

-If there is just casual passing mention of Sex As A Thing That Exists, it's rated T

-If there is reference made to a specific and/or explicit sexual activity, but not an in-depth smutty scene, it's rated M. If there are ANY archive warnings at all, including just violence, it's rated M as well

- If there's actual smut, like at least 1 whole scene of the characters going at it, I rate it E

So I guess my question is,,

I really struggle with the rating system concerning this, and most my fics are rated M due to vague mention of/reference to sexual content. I do tag appropriately, I don't want people to think that my M fics are super smutty and therefore not accessible to people who don't like that, because they aren't. So I'd love to hear you guys' thoughts, and please feel free to reblog especially in writing communities!!

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Tokyo Revengers but Mikey has the same coping mechanism as Sunny (Omori)

It's an incomplete post so anyone can add things if they want!

'Manjiro' will be used to talk about irl!Mikey while 'Mikey' will refer to Headspace!Mikey

Sanzu is called Haruchiyo and takes on Basil's role (aKa he's important but Mikey doesn't want to either make him tag along/a member of the party or to confine him on the picnic blanket)

'Sanzu' would be The Stranger

Takemichi also has The Stranger role (in timelines where he truly left an impression on Mikey - so probably not in the first two unfortunately)

Shinichiro and Emma both play Mari's role

-> Shinichiro & Takemichi being the only one to call Mikey Manjiro

Senju and Izana share a common role (in Bonten)

The party is made of Toman founding members

Baji, Kazutora, Pah-chin have a dynamic similar to Aubrey and Kel

Draken takes on Hero's role, Mitsuya too, a bit

Draken is the one who takes pictures!!! (like in canon :) )

-> "Did I take this photo? Something about it feels so familiar... No... Emma, she's-"

(Draken has little flags to make Mikey (or other party members) happy during fights)

(Mitsuya is the one who can cook)

Unbread Twins = Kawata Twins (with their ramen shop ofc, no bakery here)

other members are a bit scattered everywhere, mostly the playground ofc (which is a mix of: Toman's gathering place, the playground Baji&Mikey used to play in as children with a huge jungle gym), and the garden and dojo in the Sano house)

There's also the beach which can be reached mostly by Toman members

There's a train but they move around in motorbikes (and Mucho's car)

Motor shop to fix the bikes! Shinichiro can be found there with other BD members :)! (for some reasons, Mikey doesn't like it when Baji and Kazutora are there, so they have to find alternatives to fix their bikes (most of the time they ask another party member to take their bike))

Somehow, Manjiro subconsciously remember the story of Taiyaki-kun so there's a lake where Taiyaki-kun lives (he wants to leave but he can't :( )

It's the dreamworld so everyone is happy and has good relationships with everyone else

Somwhere there's a plane. It doesn't fly, but it's there, lying on the ground. It mustn't broke. (when it does, it leads to Blackspace) (Sanzu always tries to lead Mikey here)

Manjiro/Mikey don't fear a lot of things but things that may upset/trigger them are: mirrors/any type of reflection; whenever he sees a plane (won't make him go back to Whitespace but it's really close sometimes); (people needing to go to the) hospitals (no matter if it's bc they're sick or badly hurt) & probably other things but they don't come to mind sorry

Mikey's 'Something' is just.. everyone. They're all horrifying in a different way, but each person Mikey has failed haunts him (emphasis on Izana & Senju during Bonten)

The Somethings telling him 'I love you' in Blackspace 🥹

Important flowers would be black lilies (curse), and red and white spider lilies at the very end :) (Red spider lilies symbolizing the inability to meet again, farewell, death, loss, abandonment and White spider lilies symbolizing rebirth, meeting (anew), purity)

Also poppies since in Hanakotoba they can symbolize fun-loving and success, and in the more Western flower language they symbolize peaceful sleep and death, remembrance/remembering the fallen and renewal/resurrection among other things

(not a flower professional - just did some google researches so be careful with what I'm saying)

Whitespace:

Old blanket

NES (that he irl has in his bedroom and must hold a lot of memories of family/friends game night)

Mewo being replaced by Peke-j? But Mikey is not close to Peke-j(/not that close from Chifuyu (unlike other ppl)) from what we know. Peke-j could also be used as a way to show how guilty Manjiro is about Baji (and Chifuyu? Kazutora?)

moto figurines laying around? Little flags?

Probably wouldn't have a laptop

The journal+drawings stay tho. He deserves to vent

Deserves to keep the tissue box and cry, too

Blackspace:

Mikey goes in and out of it; he never chooses if he pops up in Whitespace, Dreamworld or Blackspace. It depends on how is his mind irl. There are also some places where he can directly enter it (ex: whenever the Concorde is broken)

Haruchiyo keeps dying. Or having his lower jaw removed out of nowhere (also happens in headspace -> leads Mikey to go back to Whitespace on the spot)

If we do put Peke-j in this AU as Mewo replacement, which choice do you think Mikey would make in the Cat dissection room with our dear mister the Cat Butler? /genuine

The three first timeline are very similar. Senju and Haruchiyo/Sanzu have a lesser role here. In the 3rd/Bad Toman, Kazutora is here and is hurt less by Mikey (whereas if he ever is present in the two firsts, Mikey won't be merciful)

Manila:

"You loved them and you killed them. You should just die." — hits more in this timeline than any other

Rather than Manjiro completely loosing against Mikey; there's a feeling of acceptance at the end of their fight from both parts. They can't go back, but they can't go further either.

Plus, Manjiro never fought for a will to live to start with

Actually I'm not sure if there'd be a fight to start with

Izana, S62 & Kakucho are not present in the headspace of this timeline

Bonten:

there's an entire space dedicated to Senju and Izana. It's filled with always-falling snow and everlasting sakura; the party can make snowmen and other snow constructions! There's a pond with a giant majestic beta fish somewhere, too (maybe it could interact with Taiyaki-kun, maybe not)

Edit: They live in a snow castle

those two are either safe in this place (*cough* until the snow and sakura start to get tainted by blood out of nowhere and they disappear and the flowers wilt *cough* The snow melts a bit under the warmth of blood and suddenly it's less a childhood joy and more just... Hellishly cold. bc the cold refuses to leave ofc *cough*) or with Shinichiro and Emma on the picnic blanket. Kakucho is always found around Izana so he can be found in the snow, too! (He's the one staying there when Izana & Senju disappear; he's panicking and extremely worried)

*cough* canonical Oyasumi ending *cough*

Timeline where the Somethings are the most troublesome and present

eat irl then go puke in the toilet

sleeps less and sleeps badly

Kanto Manji & Final timeline:

Still developing, mostly Whitespace

Mikey and Manjiro are not two different entities yet - Manjiro is not at that point where he suppresses all of his traumas when he's in the Dreamworld as Mikey

not a great emphasis on Senju since she doesn't die, but she's still there, having a lesser role

Draken, on the other hand- (it doesn't last long anyway since he travels back in time no long after)(I mean. it's still three months so maybe it's a bit long)

The "I have to tell you something"-timeline/ending, if there has to be one

[spaceacerat]

are these not normal? they were in your tags from this post

Hello! I wasn't sure if you mean blisters, or random moments of pain, so I'll assume both! I tried to separate the sections.

TW: medical neglect, medical abuse from doctors (I think it counts as that anyways, especially under the cut), mentions of skin-based injuries

(I apologize, this ended up turning into a scrambled medical rant because I have a lot of big feelings about how kids/teens/young adults can be completely ignored for even very noticeable signs of disability or issues and grow up suffering for it. I'm also just very tired and feeling weird and am in a ranty mood wanting my pain and suffering to be heard 😭)

BLISTERS:

On the case of blisters, I have little frame of reference for how often normal people blister, but my partners never seem to. Whenever I look into it, normal people apparently blister from shoes being too tight, or hiking or something very strenuous.

If your skin blisters with heat or certain fabrics, from wearing shoes even if they fit, clothing, sleeping, sitting, standing, or walking, or comes off easily from a mild bump into something, it is Not Normal.

My old PCP, when I finally asked him about it, was stunned, and did a biopsy when I had blisters I didn't have to pop. He thinks it's Epidermolysis bullosa simplex, but I can't get an official diagnosis without a genetic test that insurance doesn't cover apparently, and the dermatologist I went to was useless.

I would give advice on how to deal with it if anyone is ever interested, but what works for me probably won't work for everyone.

I don't know how it's supposed to be dealt with according to medical science, and I'm apparently (according to a partners nurse mother) very lucky I haven't gotten an infection. After all, I do it the broke person "here's my value pack of sewing pins and some paper towels" way, not the "I have access to medical resources and specialized sterile needles/bandages" way.

PAIN:

In regards to feeling pain most of the time, I've had one of my partners ask what level of pain I'm usually at, and I shrugged and went "Ehh, most of the time a 1-2, sometimes a pang of 3, a 4-5 if something specific hurts, at worst a 6-9 if somethings wrong like a migraine or whatever." He then wisely told me "You know what level normal people are at most of the time? A zero. Most people aren't in pain unless something is wrong."

I suppose that put things into perspective regarding my health, after years of just dealing with random bouts of sudden health issues I had to deal with usually completely on my own growing up.

(side note, watching something like lord of the rings as a kid, which involved a lot of scenes of them all just walking or running, would make me cringe because "holy shit they must be in so much pain :( they're so brave, and so strong for still walking and running for hours when they surely have blistered by now! I hope they have plenty of sewing needles to pop them when they stop to rest!" because my dumbass couldnt even walk around an amusement park for a day without limping badly and slowly while being told to hurry up by an older sibling, and these guys were walking and running for months on uneven terrain. Still jealous about that >:( )

(more ranting under the cut but about other things I've come to realize weren't normal [AKA specifics about the skin disorder/medical issues] or just makes me mad because suddenly I just feel the need to about my personal medical crap. Maybe someone will see it and see themselves in it. Sorry about that 😅)

in reference of the tag, I meant how I blister. I came out of the womb missing skin, and have always blistered around my body very easily. The docs claimed it was eczema when I was a baby, and they didn't bother looking into it further, but from the few people I have met who have that, they don't show any of my symptoms. Meanwhile I grew up thinking it was completely normal, and that everyone was just walking around in pain and ignoring it better than me.

I can't wear tennis shoes/heels/sandals/flipflops/crocs because the backs always rub my ankles raw and they're too soft so every step they rub around my toes, (or flip-flops would just tear the skin between my toes) but I had to grow up wearing tennis shoes all the time. That meant every night after school I'd come home and have to pop the blisters to drain them before I could sleep. Now I wear flat combat boots with two pairs of socks and it's so much better, but still not perfect, since I can't really walk outside in the summer.

I've blistered from walking, sitting, lying down, being outside in the heat, sweating, sleeping with my thighs touching, all sorts of things. Skin can also come off entirely if I get scratched or bumped into something. One time my leg got stuck at a bent angle because I fell asleep without popping the blister behind my knee, and it dried to the point where I couldn't pull it apart without pain.

Something else about that is that I'm allergic to adhesives and latex. The few times I've 'had' to wear bandaids were hellish, as it would remove the entire top layer of skin with it since it blistered under it. When I had to do an allergy test with the adhesive (dermatologist decided it had to be an allergy, because he's a dumbass), I made them cut them and put them on my arms instead of my back, where they promptly blistered after a few hours and I had to peel them off myself with a leather belt between my teeth to keep from chipping a tooth (because when I say it was incredibly painful, thats a massive understatement).

No one around me cared that I was suddenly having to lean against walls and furniture to get around because my legs wanted to give out from under me due to sudden muscle weakness and a pounding heart/chest pains/dizziness, or the few migraines I got in middle school that made me throw up a few times which weirdly made the migraine go away after enough times doing that. Or my limping from blisters, or the medication side effects that showed up when I started taking antipsychotics.

On note of medication, none of the psychs I went to told me about medication side effects. I was 13 when I started Seroquel (my guess is because they wanted to sedate me because of a whole fiasco, my partners nurse mother was shocked when she found out I was on it at such a young age for what were incredibly mild bipolar 2 symptoms). It caused me to pass out a few times, and I just had to keep taking it despite it actually making my depression/hypomania incredibly bad through the rest of middle and high school, because I wasn't aware I should tell my doctor it was making me worse. Never got bloodwork for it either.

After a while I switched meds, but was still having the worst depressive symptoms and my hypomania got even worse. One of the ones a doc had me try basically short circuited my brain. I had a five second memory if that, was shuffling around leaning against everything trying to stay upright, could barely think or talk outside of slurred words... My family saw this, and just went "You good?" and when I half-muttered a 'yeah' because I couldn't think straight enough to realize I should say no, they just shrugged and asked if I could do the dishes. I shook my head and went back to bed, passing out for 10 hours. Refused to ever take that medication again once I woke up, despite my psych trying to tell me I had to give it at least two weeks to start working properly. Fuck that.

When I show signs that something is wrong and I mention it to someone, and everyone brushes it off, it becomes normalized in the brain. But it's not. Now that I have partners who grew up going to the doctor for their problems, they're horrified, especially when they see me actively struggling with it. I had an episode (sudden muscle weakness/chest pains/pounding heart/dizzy) last month in front of them, and they were seriously debating taking me to a hospital but I kept refusing and saying it would pass because it always did and I wasn't afraid. It did eventually pass after about 7 hours, but not before scaring the shit out of them.

And these were the same signs I showed at work, twice, neither time I went home. I worked as a janitor during one of them, my manager saw but didn't think to do anything. I still managed to clean, but I did lie down and pass out in one of the back offices for a few minutes and just got up and went right back to work because I didn't want to get in trouble.

Also, a shout out to the laundromat I was forced to continue working at when I had covid!! I thought I was dying but they wouldn't let me take work off until I had a positive test, so I was forced to work the place completely alone for 8 hours during the first three days of major symptoms because I was desperate to keep the job and didn't know I could just refuse or call someone!! I mean, have you ever had to wash/dry/fold 200+ pounds of laundry completely alone in one night while every part of you thinks you're dying, and then on top of that having to deal with customers/machine issues, lift heavy trash bags, and clean dusty airvents and the rest of the place aka bathrooms and floors?? It's incredibly awful!! I did my damndest to keep my hands washed to the point where the skin came off a bit on one of my fingers and wearing a mask constantly while trying to keep my distance. Worst three days ever.

[butchpeace]

Hey, recently found your blog though the detrans tag. I'm looking for some advice, if you don't mind me asking.

I [mid-20's] was born female and transitioned (top surgery, hysterectomy & oophorectomy, 6+ years on HRT) and I feel...out of place.

I've never been able to mix with LGBT groups and I don't understand the culture (?) surrounding it. The word "queer" bothers me because I know what it means, I believe sexuality to be sex-based (because that makes sense—I can't comprehend how anyone can believe lesbians are able to be into dick), I don't think gender/sex is "fluid" or what have you, I find asking people for their pronouns to be insulting and invasive to everyone (+ using "they" as default)—save for, specifically, openly non-binary people—etc., etc. So, there's no community to be found within the LGBT community for me. It is what it is.

I've tried to find some sort of space to slot into within "TERF" corners of the internet, but the community (?) freaks me out somewhat. (i.e., using terms like "genderists" is weird as hell to me & puts me off as someone questioning detransition & still on HRT.) So, no community there. Again, it is what it is.

I've tried Transmedicalist groups, but again, my "TERF-esque" beliefs aren't welcome. They're not a fan of Buck Angel (neither am I, but I relate to & agree with his "female living as a man" perspective).

I suppose I'm just wondering how the hell you do it. How are you getting by? How do you find normal, likeminded people who get you?

I have a [not trans] girlfriend who has been incredibly supportive of me throughout my transition + with now referring to me with "she"/"woman"/etc and such [privately]. We share similar views on sexuality being sex-based, so things have worked out well between us.

I'm just feeling real alien whenever I compare my life & beliefs to all of these different groups of people. Feels like there's nowhere to go to.

Honestly, it’s tough! I’m new to all this too and I feel like we’re in this weird space right now where detransitioners are figuring all this out together. I’m also not someone who will have an easy time of socially detransitioning, so it’s gonna be a gradual process for me.

I benefitted a lot from detrans support groups in the beginning, and made some closer connections through there with people who I hope will be in my life long term, although they’re long distance. That’s what helped me really figure out where I stand on everything, and helped me sort through my mental health shit and the reasons for my transition in the first place, as well as processing the trauma of it all. Feel free to DM me if you’re interested in a support group, or I’m always down for new detrans friends if you want to talk!

I’m not out as detransitioning to everyone in my life yet, but the process of starting to come out has been interesting. It’s really hard to try to balance all these different groups and find people who get you while also being completely honest about your opinions and your history. I have trans friends who I want to keep in my life. Even if I no longer agree with transition, I still care about them. They respect my detransition even if they don’t get it. I have LGB friends who understand what detransition means but who also don’t really get it on a deeper level. I have straight friends who understand what detransition means, but don’t understand lesbian culture or the forces that caused my transition in the first place.

But I think the important thing is to just be really honest. That’s something I’m working on myself. I think people understand more than you might think they would, once you really open up to them. And don’t be afraid to speak your mind a little bit here and there, as it feels safe. I honestly believe that most people have reservations and disagreements with the mainstream beliefs of the trans community, and they’ll be happy to know that you’re a safe person for them to talk about that with. For example, most people don’t like the idea of kids transitioning, and don’t agree with the sexuality bullshit. Those can be easy ways to get into a conversation about it all.

Hopefully something there helped 🤷🏻‍♂️🌈

[fruitytrollroll]

your writing is so good! what's your process? mostly in regards to how you work with drafts and come up with words. are there any tips you'd give to intermediate writers? love your work!

thank you so much for your compliments!! and I'll gladly answer your questions as best I can! ✨️

one resource i can't possibly recommend enough is wordhippo! it's a clean, efficient thesaurus and dictionary website, which organizes synonyms by their individual meanings, and which also has example sentences—which is a HUGE help in figuring out how unfamiliar words get used, and what kinds of sentences they sound best in. depending on the word, some will even have a subcategory of example sentences from "Classical Literature", which does a good job emulating the experience of encountering a new word in the wild, without having to commit to reading an entire book. on the subject of reading, though, English literature from the Romantic through the Victorian eras are a big inspiration for me, and I tend to try to emulate its constructions, figurative language, tone, and sense of drama in my own writing. a Norton anthology of whatever period of literature you're most interested in will serve you well, if you like to read for your writing—they tend to include poetry, essays, and even short stories and plays, with a lot of helpful footnotes and author biographies.

as for "how I work with drafts"... I'll admit I don't quite know how to answer this, because I often just write things straight out from start to finish? I tend to have a strong idea of where I want to go with a piece already when I've started. But I usually start in Google docs, get about a thousand words out, and then share what I have with a few close friends who are anticipating the piece, and who pump me up with compliments letting me know what's working well. :) lately, most of my writing projects are actually a result of having brainstormed with them in the first place, so they tend to have robust insight into my vision, and offer helpful suggestions and commentary (or they "wishlist" things, i.e. by saying, "oh it would be kinda hot if... 👀🔥" and then I'm just like oh damn, true 💖).

When I'm writing alone, though, I just skip to whatever parts of the story I'm most excited to write, and then stitch the resulting pieces together afterward. I always try to be mindful of the fact that if I'm not having fun writing it, it probably won't be fun for my audience to read, so I tend to "zoom out" or summarize moments that I don't think will be as interesting as where I'm ultimately headed (though I try to inject a little character or wordplay or metaphor or foreshadowing or SOMETHING into even these, to treat my reader while we're waiting for the main event to start. they're helpful for setting tone or setting the stage or setting up expectations for the remainder of the piece). As the author, you can always make time pass faster or slower at your convenience, so make good use of that to maintain interest.

To leave with a few brief kernels of advice: mine your dialogue for conflict; have each line in a conversation refer back to the previous statement whenever you can; don't preemptively solve your characters' problems for them with narrative convenience, because conflict can reveal new and interesting facets of a character that would otherwise go unexamined; you can replace a lot of dialogue tags with action instead, or omit them entirely by implying with vocabulary or sequence which character at any given moment is speaking; if you've written yourself into a corner, start over a few paragraphs before you hit the hump, and see if you can take things in a different direction; give new information, revelations, and emotional beats (or "turns", as my playwriting professor called them) space to breathe.

Also, as an erotic romance author, I cannot help but roll out my frequent refrain: get either really horny or really obsessed with something, because that will motivate you to improve like very little else.

I hope that helps! Let me know if I missed anything, and thank you so much for your kind words and your interest in my process! 🥰✨️

[crowscanread]

totally not related to my previous tags but is matt open about his relationship with tord to others? if so, does tord become flustered/embarrassed whenever matt speaks kindly of him? i do not need this info for anything specific whatsoever (sweats)

Hmmm, I'm suspicious, but I'll let it slide (I got my eye on you, lol)

Since they find out before Matt gets his memories back, he would probably mention it like it's no big deal.

Meanwhile to Edd and Tom, it is a pretty big deal if they friend starts dating the guy who wiped Matt's memories, tried to kill Tom, betrayed Edd, and destroyed their house.

And Tord would get flustered in the sense that he doesn't wholeheartedly believe every nice thing Matt says about him. Tord more or so falls apart at things like kisses, whether they're on the lips or not. It's just: Tord.exe has stopped working

(Are these references to the events of chap 2? .... perhaps >:)

However, after they start to get a little more comfortable with each other, Tord notices how Matt reacts to genuine compliments.

If it's something simpler like "You're too sweet" or "You look perfect," he'll just smirk and say, 💅✨️💅"I know, thanks for noticing"✨️💅✨️

But if it's something more heartfelt and specific, Matt practically melts as it's not common for him to receive deep, meaningful compliments. (Words of affirmation go brrrr-)

[gnometa233]

Heya

There's something I wanted to ask you about this post you made

https://www.tumblr.com/gnometa233/746039179777015808/we-need-more-weird-queers-yall-cant-even-handle?source=share

Here you say in the tags TERFs came up with the term bi lesbian. I'm by no means saying I don't trust you or think you're lying but I wanted to ask for some info regarding that piece of info, since whenever I try looking into it I never find anything

One time I made a post that featured that same thing and TERFs got to it and I had to delete it since I had no proof whatsoever and did not want that post to become a TERF-hive.

Thank you for reading this far and if you find anything please let me know

Okay so I was kind of rushing when I made that post so this is a certified "me when I spread misinformation" moment. My bad

Terfs didn't invent bi lesbianism. That was a whole thing in the early feminist movement where bisexuals didn't get recognized, blah blah blah, myself and other people smarter than me have spoken about it at length.

What I have seen is within more modern times, terfs online refering to lesbians who date trans women and nonbinary sapphics (but mostly trans women) as bisexual lesbians, refusing to validate their lesbianism and saying that they're actually bisexual. It is more niche and it will be hard to find, but I have seen this happen.

If anyone wants to add on to this feel free! Just plz don't be stupid.