#they're together so less i was actually kinda enjoying it just like old times

[girlivealwaysbean]

why am I actually scared to sleep alone lol wtf😭

[6ix9inewiturmom]

She Ours- Christopher and Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: you’re at an LA party and both chris and matt find you attractive…

Warnings: SUMT, THREESOME(not the weird kind ya freaks), P in V, Unprotected (please don’t reproduce), Dom!Matt!Chris, Sub!Reader, Squirting, Oral (M and F Receiving), PARIS (iykyk)

A/N: THIS IS BASED OFF OF P POWER BY GUNNA FT DRAKE 😫😫 ENJOY

My friend Lina was one of the biggest party girls I knew, every weekend was some party she heard about through the grapevine, which typically because I don't get out much she insisted on dragging me out of my house.

“This party better be worth it” I snap walking down the staircase of my shared house with Lina. She let me borrow her outfit: A skintight black dress that barely covered my ass, her adorable red bottom heels, and my jewelry.

“Girl you have the possibility of getting LAID tonight, let's not complain,” she stops to gasp “Maybe if you get laid you'll stop being so bitchy” she jokes.

“Lina you realize you're like the female version of a player right?” I laugh as we walk out of the house together.

As she fastens her seatbelt and starts reversing the car out of the driveway, she responds with a gentle smile, "No, I'm not. I love everyone."

“That's the problem” I chuckle.

Driving on the highway we had our hype music blasting through the speakers of the car, Lina breaks the silence, “When is the last time you actually had a dick?”

I about choked on air when I heard her invasive question, we were best friends so TMI didn't exist in our relationship considering we've known each other since we were 2 years old in daycare, but I was more or less caught off guard. “um I’d have to say probably since I went off the rails and impulsively joined Tinder and had that horrible hookup with that guy. Um shit, what's his name? OH YES TYLER” I laughed reminiscing the times.

“BITCH” she jokingly yells stomping on the brakes at the red light sending my whole body jerking forward. “That was 2 years ago” she whispers

“Yeah but like that man was weird as fuck, so I just thought maybe a guy who wanted to fuck would just pop out of the blue somewhere I don't know, you're a lot better at this than I am” I shrug getting almost embarrassed.

“oh my god, bitch this isn't the 80s you need to catch a dick” We both laugh at her commentary “But let's not catch STDs” her voice trails off as i try to contain my laughter.

After a lengthy journey, we finally reached the venue. As we pull into the parking lot, we are greeted by the sound of vibrant and lively music reverberating through the air. As we stepped out of the car and made our way inside, we were immediately engulfed by the dim, flashing lights and vibrant colors illuminating the area, accompanied by the pulsating beats of loud music that reverberated through the space.

“BITCH I LOVE THIS SONG” Lina yells over the loud music and dragging me to the lit up squared boxes where the song Maneater by Nelly Furtato is playing.

My hips move around to the song, not a care in the world who sees me but alas I nervously look around and see two pairs of crystal blue eyes practically drooling over me. One with slightly longer hair than the other and the other with a tatted arm but they both look the same.

“Y/N” Lina yells over the loud music “YOUR LOOKING A LITTLE TOO HARD” she continues

“Those guys over there keep looking at me” I lower my tone a little trying not to make a scene “They’re kinda cute” I softly smile carefully taking my bottom lip between my teeth and watching them talk amongst each other.

“BOTH?” Lina's eyes widen

“I mean why not?” I shrug my shoulders laughing

“They look like brothers which I mean is kinda attractive” Lina Replies “Just not that weird threesome Shit I'm talking about that trip to Paris if you know what I mean” she smirks shimming her shoulders

“Oh shit” my eyes widen “fuck they're coming over here, WHAT DO I DO LINA”

“Just act normal and if shit gets weird to remember to text me ‘Lemon Jelly Belly’ and ill find a way to get you out of there” Lina smiles as she walks over to the bar to flirt with the bartender

My nerves were heightened to the max watching the boys walk towards me, one of them had this coxky aura about himself and the other seemed nervous but still confident.

“Hello beautiful” the longer-haired one walks towards me coming behind me.

The one with the tatted arm comes in front of me, his smile turns into a smirk as I find my bottom lip in my teeth again.

“I'm Matt, and this is Chris” Matt said smirking down at me.

“We just couldn't help ourselves when we saw the way your hips moved and danced to the music,” Chris says whispering in my ear smirking.

“Thanks for asking my name, I’m Y/N” I snap jokingly

“That's such a pretty name,” Matt says placing his hand on my face and caressing my cheek

My hips started moving to the song softly as Matts's hands made their way to my hips as Chris’ was planted on my ass.

“Can I?” Chris asks as he moved the hair on my neck and became closer to my neck.

“Mhm,” i mumble

“Use your words, sweetheart, Can he?” Matt smirks down at me.

“Y-Yes” i stutter.

“Good girl” Matt’s smirk remains on his face as Chris kisses my neck and immediately finds that sweet spot on my neck sending chills down my spine.

“Why don't we do this In a little less crowded area hm?” Chris suggests

“I don't mind” I softly giggle

“Chris, how are we doing this? We gonna flip a coin to see who gets her first or what?” I could tell Matt was a little antsy and irritated by his brother's greediness.

“She ours,” Chris tells his brother.

Matt’s smirk became more apparent as soon as Chris said those words. Chris grabs my hand as and he guides me up a set of stairs and Matts hands remains on my ass. My eyes meet Linas and to say the least I've never seen her more proud of me. Her eyes are wide and her smile is wider. She's holding up her thumbs nodding her head in approval.

the room was dark, but very warm and had lots of room, the bed had silk sheets, and a lot of posters. “Do you guys know whose room this is anyway?” I nervously chuckle out.

“Happens to be my room” Matt speaks with a laugh

Chris comes behind me moving my hair to kiss that sweet spot on my neck again this time leaving dark purple marks on my neck. Matts's gaze softens as his eyes darken with lust watching how my body reacts to Chris’ mouth against my neck. Matt comes closer to me looking at my eyes first then my lips and sending me a soft but seductive smile before he presses his lips against mine. A soft moan escaped my lips causing him to pull back and smirk.

“Fuck I wanna rip this dress off of you,” Chris says with a husk in his voice practically groaning.

Matt presses the pad of his thumb against my lip running it across my bottom lip. “I just wanna put this pretty mouth to good use” he smirks.

Before Matt could do anything Chris picked me up and threw me on the bed looking in Matt's direction with a smirk.

“Sorry ma I really couldn't help myself” he softly chuckles positioning himself between my legs and rubbing softly up and down “May I?” Chris questions while playing with the bottom of my dress

“Be my guest” I smile looking down at his blue eyes glaring down at my clothed pussy with a small wet patch from my neediness of getting dicked down.

Chris moves my dress up to my mid-thighs and slides my underwear to the side diving right in like it was his last meal on planet earth. Matt on the other hand was too impatient and hard to wait, he removed his belt and his pants and kneeled on the bed beside me stroking his throbbing hard cock beside my face and rubbing his tip along my bottom lip teasing my mouth, finally he grips my jaw signaling to open wider as he slides his cock in my mouth thrusting ever so slightly, watching me please him and get pleasured by his brother.

Chris’ tongue laps around my clit, as my moans r muffled by Matts's cock being shoved so far down my throat.

“Fuck” Matt groans “Prettiests of mouths do the sluttiests of things” he praises as he wipes the tears that started forming in my eyes from the overstimulation.

“You're clenching around my tongue ma, you close?” Chris sadistically chuckles around my pussy.

“Mhm,” I muffle out around Matts's cock desperately in need to release built-up tension.

“Why don't you be a good girl and cum for Chris yeah?” Matt coos as he's thrusting his hips in my throat while having my hair in a makeshift ponytail.

My legs tremble and shake around Chris’ head signaling to him how close I am. “That's it baby” Matt's voice becomes husked.

Chris groans around my clit as his tongue laps around it feeling my cervix spasm over the overstimulation and pleasure that he knows he's giving me. The pent-up knot in my abdomen snaps sending me in a wave of euphoria, my eyes roll back, and my legs shake. Matt trusts into my mouth a couple more times before finishing in my mouth, placing his hand on my throat to feel mg swallowing all of him.

“Such a good girl” matt coos at me with my lips still wrapped around his cock.

He gently pulls out and walks over to Chris who's smiling down at me wiping his mouth with his sleeve. The boys talk amongst each other talking about how they'll share me.

Matt walks over between my thighs biting his lip. “Sweetheart I don't have a condom,” he says almost nervously.

“I'm on the pill,” I smiled up at him as his eyes lit up at my response.

He brings his hand to my mouth “Spit” he demands and I obey.

He uses my spit to coat his dick as my eyes roam from Matt to Chris who moves to place himself behind me placing kisses on my neck.

Matt aligns himself at my entrance pushing slowly. “Oh fuck” I moan out as my back arches off of Chris and my hands grip his for support.

He pushes himself further, completely bottoming out letting a loud groan fall from his lips and his head throwing back “fuck baby, you feel so fucking good” he smiles devilishly as he watches my body react to His movements.

his thrusts become harder and rougher. “god damn” he groans out almost at a whimper. “fuck your pussy was fucking made for me” he looks down to watch himself thrust in and out of me as he notices a bulge in my stomach from him and he smirks and presses down.

“Fuck” I scream out.

Both Matt and Chris smirk and look up at each other “Someone likes that eh?” Chris whispers in my ear using his hand and pulling and twisting at my nipples.

Matt pressed harder on my stomach watching my face contort in pleasure. “Such a fucking whore” matt groans out.

“C-C-C-LOSE” I stammer out.

“I can feel you squeezing my dick so fucking good, let it out baby” he coos not switching up his pace or his movements one bit.

Chris’ hand snakes around my throat giving slight pressure to the sides making me see more than just stars. “Cum for Matt baby, come on you can do it ma” Chris praises in my ear.

A loud squeal escaped my lips as my orgasm hit me like a train and I squirted my juices all over Matt and his abdomen. “There she is” Matt lets a low chuckle out from him. “Hold on for a second sweetheart, you can take it”

His thrusts got sloppy as I became jello in Chris's arms, with one final thrust Matt painted my pink gummy walls white coating them with all of his cum.

“Fucking hell” matt breaths out.

“You did so good” Chris praises, “can you take one more ma?” he smirked up at matt.

My body was tired but alas I nodded with a tired smile. Matt moved to where Chris was but Chris had other ideas, he used my ankles to flip me up so my ass was in the air and my stomach lay flat on the mattress. Chris used his precum and spread it around his dick before aligning himself with my sensitive entrance and bottoming out quickly.

“Fuck chris” i moan out trying to move forward but Chris stopped me by placing his hands on my waist pinning me down to the mattress.

“Someone a little sensitive hm? Can't take me, can you?” he chuckled sadistically.

I bit my lip to muffle my own screams of pleasure. “I-I- I can take it-“I was cut off by Chris absolutely pounding into me like there was no tomorrow hitting spots I didn't know was even possible.

Skin slapping and moans were the only sounds bouncing off the walls. “I ain't gonna last long ma, you're clenching me so fucking good” he groans out forcing my head into the mattress.

“CLOSE” I scream out.

“Come on sweetheart, be the good girl you were for me and cum for Chris yeah?” Matt is positioning himself so he can brush some of the hair out of my face.

Matts's gentle words sent me over the edge and once again, I squirted all over Chris sending him into a state of euphoria and cumming on the spot inside of me filling me up with his seed.

I immediately collapse laying flat on the bed out of breath. Matt ran into his bathroom connected to his room and grabbed a warm cloth to clean up my legs as Chris whispered sweet nothings into my ear about how good I did for both of them.

“You doin’ okay love?” Matt says softly wiping my legs.

“Mhm,” I mumble out.

They chuckle as Matt throws a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt for me to put on. In my attempt to stand up, my legs gave out.

“Don't tell me you can't walk?” Chris chuckles

“Try to be in my position and see how you feel” I joke making them chuckle.

“Okay okay Chris enough taunting,” Matt says guiding the shirt over my head and helping me get changed.

Chris helped me get my pants on while talking to me about random stuff like 7/11 Bring Your Own Slurpee Day that he didn't know existed and Matt rolled his eyes.

“We just took her ability to walk and change herself i doubt she wants to hear about Slurpee day Chris” matt says carrying me bridal style to sit down on his bed.

Suddenly someone barges into the room obviously drunk. “Wait this isn't the bathroom” it was Lina who immediately saw me and started winking and throwing her thumbs up seeing me curled into bed and in someone elses clothes.

“Who the fuck are you? Get out!” Chris yells “Bathrooms downstairs” he gently closes the door.

“That was Lina…” I shyly say covering my face.

“Who?” they say in unison

“Lina my best friend since we were two, she's the reason I came” I laughed softly.

“yo…you think she heard anything,” Chris says bluntly scratching the back of his head.

“She's weird but not that weird. She's obviously drunk so she'll forget it by morning if she did anyway” I brush it off, and I pat the empty side of the bed for Chris to join Matt and me on the bed where I'm in the middle of both of them.

“You wanna watch anything? I'll let you pick?” Matt says handing me the remote and smiling.

“Wha- bro you never let me pick anything when I’M in your room” Chris whines.

“Shut up” matt laughs in response.

“Yall ever seen gossip girl?” I smirk at both of them

“Nope,” they both say popping the ‘P’

“YAY okay so we gonna watch it and if you have any questions feel free to ask” I smirk getting cozy and comfy in the silk sheets pressing play on the the TV.

“Why am I scared?” Chris says leaning over and whispering at me.

“Shut up and watch” I snap playfully.

HI LOVERS!! im so sorry for not posting this!! ive had writers block and i’ve been on vacation with my family visiting my home town and i haven’t really had time to write or do anything on this fic!! but i hope you guys enjoy it and i love you and thank you for your patience!!

XOXO,

Gabs 🩷

Sjendje

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Stray Kids with an S/O who is a huge horror movie fan

pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

genre: fluff

disclaimer: this is as always just my opinion :)

a/n: as a huge horror movie fan myself, I had to write this! enjoy!🩷

Chan:

As he said before, it's not like he's scared of horror movies, he just doesn't think they're interesting to watch. But, you're interesting to him and he loves you so he will definitely try for you. He also thinks he won't get scared cause 'nothing scares him' but oh boy was he wrong. You have to promise him extra cuddles because he's not gonna be able to fall asleep that night. Will also try to dissect the plot with you after the movie, and try to find meaning in the story just so it's less scary to him.

If he was never really invested into the horror genre, you could show him the classics like The Shining(1980), The Omen(1976), The Amityville Horror (1979), Psycho(1960) and then also some newer iconic movies like Get Out(2017), The Ring(2002), Sinister(2012), Hereditary(2018) and The Conjuring(2013).

Minho:

Loves it. Loves to try and scare you while you're watching a movie together. At first, you're so happy that you can share your love for horror with your significant other. And you know he really doesn't like jumpscares, so you try to find movies that don't have many of those. But if they do and Minho predicts a jumpscare, he'll grab you at the same time it's happening, making you jump out of your skin even though you saw the movie already. You kinda start regretting watching horror movies with him because he annoys you on purpose. He thinks you're so adorable when you're mad at him, but he wont push too far and he'll always make it up with cuddles and kisses later. Overall, 10/10 experience.

I feel like he'd watch almost any horror movie cause he's a curious cat (hehe) and you'd both share your favorites.

I don't know why, but I also feel like Minho would appreciate good old silent horror movies. I just think if he's a horror fan he may enjoy seeing the roots of horror. Like The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari(1920), Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde(1920), The Phantom Carriage(1921), Nosferatu(1922) and Häxan(1922).

Changbin:

I don't think he's too scared of them but I think he doesn't really care for them too much? Though, if you have some interesting thriller or detective movies to recommend he will definitely wanna watch them with you. I think Changbin likes a movie that has an intelligent story with a plot twist. He likes to guess what's gonna happen next and when he's actually right he'll be so happy and proud. He'll keep talking about how he guessed the plot and how smart he is and how you have to give him extra cuddles now. Either way, you're cuddling and snacking the whole time while watching and it's just nice and cozy.

I think he'd enjoy thrillers like The Game(1997), Fracture(2007), The Machinist(2004), The Double(2013), Shutter Island(2010), Zodiac(2007) and 1408(2007).

Hyunjin:

Miss him with that shit cause he ain't watching it unless you manage to coax him into it. It's gonna take a lot of persuading until he finally gives in but you have to be careful in choosing the right movie for Hyunjin. He doesn't like loud noises and he doesn't really like to feel scared. He'd rather watch something for the story, especially if it's an emotional one, and he also likes character driven stories.

I think he could watch artsy or slow creepy movies that are more drama-like but have elements of horror like Pan's Labyrinth(2006), Dark Water(2005), Windchill(2007), It Follows(2014), The Eyes Of My Mother(2016), I'm Thinking Of Ending Things(2020) and Case 39(2009).

Jisung:

Okay, with this one you can go crazy. Any weird horror movie, anything kinda disturbing, deranged or unhinged will be right up his ally. As a horror and anime fan himself, he's seen some pretty weird stuff so experiment, I guess. I also feel like he'd like fun horror movies, idk how to explain but ones that are disturbing but fun at the same time, like you can't look away even though you're looking at a train wreck.

Movies like Funny Games(2007), The Ruins(2008), Suspiria(1977), The Perfection(2018), Perfect Blue(1997), May(2002), Audition(2000), Saw franchise and Terrifier series would be fun for him. Also, since he mentioned Paranormal Activity, found footage horror movies would be fun to watch with Jisung too like Creep(2014), REC(2007), Unfriended(2015) and Cloverfield(2008).

Felix:

This is just not happening unless you can bribe him with cookies, gummies or any other sweets and ofcourse many cuddles and kisses, even more than you share usually. You'll have to practically beg him to watch a horror movie with you or make some kind of compromise that you'll participate in some activity he likes more than you later. He's not gonna sleep all night if you make him watch anything too scary, actually he wouldn't even be watching that. He'd probably be hidden in your neck the whole time and even the creepy sounds coming from the tv will give him nightmares.

The only way to make him watch horror movies is if they're mixed with comedy or they're so bad that they're funny. Like the Scream franchise, The Cabin In The Woods(2011), What We Do In The Shadows(2014), The Happening(2008), Tucker & Dale vs. Evil(2010), Housebound(2014) and ofcourse zombie comedies like One Cut Of The Dead(2017) and Shaun Of The Dead(2004).

Seungmin:

Kind of indifferent towards the scares but I think he gets annoyed with plot holes and characters acting stupid. Rolls his eyes at every over used trope or cliche sentence. You actually end up laughing while watching horror movies with him because he's too cute when he's annoyed.

"How is this killer still alive? He's been run over by a truck ten times, this is stupid!" or "Okay but why is he going towards the sound? Is he that dumb, he's gonna die!"

He does like dry humor though so he'd like some black comedy movies with horror elements like American Psycho(2000), Parasite(2019), The Lobster(2015), The Menu(2022) but also if you want to annoy him on purpose (because he's cute when he gets worked up) show him slashers like the Halloween franchise, Friday the 13th franchise and Black Christmas(2019).

Jeongin:

With Jeongin, I feel like it can go either way and it definitely depends on the theme of the movie. Also, he will probably try to act brave in front of you (until he jumps at a loud sound and then gets embarassed). For some reason I don't have an exact subgenre of horror for him but for some reason I feel like he'd like newer horror movies like Us(2019), Nope(2022), Last Night In Soho(2021), His House(2020), Host(2020), The Invisible Man(2020) and Fear Street film series.

[lovegalor333]

fresh start

part three (chapter 7-9) previous part • next part

word count: 7.1k

content warnings: panic attack mentions of selfh*rm and depression

Lily

"What time does your shift start?" Madison asked me as we sat together eating breakfast in our apartment.

Kelsey and Hannah both had classes today so had already left but Madison and I had Wednesdays free.

"Not until 11." I glance at my phone, it was currently 9:45AM. "But I'm going to get there a little bit earlier because I don't actually know what I'm doing."

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be fun!" My roommate reassures. "Are you nervous?"

"Kinda, I don't want to mess anything up and I just hope everyone likes me." I say honestly.

"Hey, who couldn't like Lily? You're a ball of sunshine!" Madison compliments, "Don't stress it, they know it's your first day, I'm sure they'll be easy on you."

"I hope so." I huff finishing off my cereal before taking my bowl to the kitchen to clean it.

I had almost completed my first full week at UConn and I counted my blessings that it had been going well. I had made friends, enjoyed my first taste of classes and found a job. All things that worried me when it came to transferring. I'd also unintentionally met Paige and I don't know what the future holds with that but it feels nice right now.

We hadn't seen each other since our 'date' a few days ago but we started an almost constant message thread on Instagram. Paige sent the first message yesterday morning and it's basically been nonstop, back and forth from us both.

As if she knew I was thinking about her, my phone pinged with a notification,

[lily.kent] paigebueckers

just spoke to janet, you will be with us today

try not to stare pretty girl, you'll distract me

I smiled at the confirmation that I would be working with Paige and her teammates today, it put my mind at ease considering I'd met most of them already and of course I'd get to see Paige.

I cliked on the dm she had just sent and replied,

i cant make any promises

It was 10AM and my phone pinged again with my daily medication reminder. I went to my bedroom and swallowed down the pills that were singlehandedly keeping me alive. Without them, my brain just doesn't know how to function, it goes into full self destruct mode and getting out of that is the hardest thing of all.

I definitely still have some days that are hard despite being on medication but they're easier to deal with and come around less often.

I had decided a second coffee of the day was a good idea and I had just enough time to pick it up from, what's quickly becoming my usual spot, before my shift started.

The late August air was still warm so I had opted for a low waisted pair of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt that stopped just before my bellybutton so the perfect amount of skin was showing.

I picked up my favourite order of an iced caramel latte with almond milk and took a slow walk to the athletics building, taking in my surroundings. More and more students had returned to campus over the weekend and beginning of this week so it was busy.

It reminded me of my old college and for a moment I was back there, in Massachusetts with no friends and just having been outed and anxiety hit me like a truck I almost toppled over.

I navigated myself to the nearest bench and sat down in an attempt to regulate my strained breathing. I remembered what my therapist had told me about panic attacks and how to handle them. I focused on my senses.

What was one thing I could taste? Coffee.

What was one thing I could hear? My heart pounding.

What was one thing I could feel? My phone clutched tight in my hand.

What was one thing I could smell? The perfume I had sprayed earlier.

What was one thing I could see? My eyes were closed in an attempt to block out everything around me but I opened them and one thing I could see was someone walking towards me.

My vision was slightly blurred as it always is when I have a panic attack but as they got closer it was clear it was Kayla.

"Lily, are you OK?" She asks dropping her bag down and kneeling in front of me. 

"Yeah." I manage but it comes out unconvincing and shaky.

"Did something happen?" I can't even get myself verbalise anything this time so I just shake my head. Kayla quickly realises that I'm in so state to talk so she sits beside me and gently rubs my back until I eventually calm down.

"I have panic attacks sometimes." I tell the girl next to me, finally able to talk without feeling like my lungs were going to explode.

"How do you feel now?" She asks, a look of concern on her face.

"I'm OK now, a little shaky. They come out of nowhere most of the time." I explain, taking a sip of my coffee - which probably isn't helping.

"I can tell Janet you need to push back your start day, she'd understand."

I shake my head sternly, "No way. I'm not giving up before I have even started." I say standing up, my legs still slightly weak.

"It wouldn't be giving up Lily. Everyone has struggles." Kayla tries to empathise but I've already started walking to the athletics building again.

"I'm seriously fine, I've struggled with a lot worse than a panic attack." I blurt before realising Kayla knows nothing about my past.

"Ok, well maybe lets just take five before going in? You've still got fifteen minutes." She says looking at her watch.

"Ok." I give in and Kayla and I stand side by side as I take a few deep breaths.

"You got this and I got you." Kayla says after a few minutes of silence as she wraps me into a hug.

I hug her back, "Thank you, K. Sorry for the freak out, I can usually keep it under control."

"No need to apologise, I'm glad you weren't alone. Panic attacks can be scary." She says as we walk into the building and begin our way to the offices, a route I'm familiar with now.

"Do you mind not telling anyone?" I ask sheepishly.

I'd rather be the one to tell Paige about things, I didn't want her to hear it secondhand from anyone else.

Kayla mimes zipping her lips and I smile at her in response just before we step into Janets office.

"Hello Lily! Happy first day!" Janet beams standing up to greet me.

"Hi Janet, thank you. I'm super excited." I beam back putting on my best fake smile as I push back the remnants of the panic attack I just had.

Janet explains what my day will look like, "So the basketball girls are already on the court but open practice officially starts at 11:30. That's when you'll go in with the rest of the media outlets. You'll be working alongside Marcus who writes the sports column in the UConn newsletter. He'll explain your job more but write down as much as you can, take photos and videos and just be yourself!" She smiles and hands me a folder with the Huskies logo on the front with my name printed beneath it.

I open the folder and find a notebook, multiple pens and a mini microphone, the kind that plugs into your phone that you see tiktokers using in their videos.

"Oh there you are. Marcus, meet Lily. Lily, meet Marcus." Janet says and I spin around to the door that Marcus had just walked through.

"Hi Lily." Marcus says stretching out his hand for me to shake and I do. "Hi Marcus."

I wasn't expecting Marcus to be a fellow student but he was, he didn't look much older than me and had dark brown hair and eyes to match. He was handsome for sure, I'm lesbian but I could appreciate a mans beauty.

Marcus and I quickly acquainted as he told me exactly what we'd be doing today. It wasn't much different from what Janet had explained and before I knew it, we were walking down to the basketball court.

Paige

The ball had just left my hand and I knew it was cash, from my spot on the three-point line, when the doors to the court opened. My eye's flicked to the large digital clock on the wall, it was 11:30, media were here.

I watched intently as familiar faces filtered into the room and then one familiar face in particular brought a smile to my face, Lily.

Her effortless beauty always seemed to catch me off guard. Still being new to each other, I was seeing Lily in a new way each time. Today was the first time I'd seen her with her hair tied up, her perfect facial features on full display. She had a simple outfit on but the sliver of stomach on show between her jeans and shirt did something to me. I wanted to run across the court and hold her in my arms, feel her skin on mine, tell her how pretty she looked. Her smile shone from meters away and I could just about make out her sweet laugh over all the commotion going on.

I was so focused on Lily, I didn't notice the aggravatingly good looking guy stood beside her, until his hand came into contact with her arm.

Who was he and why was he touching her?

I watched intently as he pointed over to the stands where some of the media people had already began setting up. In all fairness, it looked like he was just explaining something to her but either way, he didn't need to make physical contact.

"You got some competition, P?" Jana joke nudging my side, obviously seeing the same thing as me.

I scoff, "That kids got nothing on me." I say and bounce the ball again few times before shooting another perfect three.

I glance back in Lilys direction to find her already looking in mine a small smile on her face, she raises her eyebrows and nods slightly as if to say "not bad", I give a quick bow in response and go to retrieve the ball.

We shoot around a little more before we all disperse to the different media outlets waiting to ask us questions.

My eyes fall to Lily more than I'd like to admit and I had to ask for a few questions to be repeated due to my lack of concentration. Lily never reciprocated any of my stolen looks because she was so engrossed in her job; jotting down notes, recording interviews and laughing along with the girls.

After what felt like an eternity, I was finally stood with Lily and Mr Shaggy Hair.

"Hi Paige, Marcus with UConn newsletter and this is-" Marcus introduced himself and tried introducing Lily.

"I know Lily." I say making eye contact with the brunette girl to the right of me.

"Hi Paige." She says softly, phone in hand already pointed in my direction.

"Paige, this was your first summer without injury, what did you do that you haven't been able to in previous years?" Marcus asks, pen poised to take an necessary notes.

I answered all of Marcus' questions before I had to move on, "Thank you, Paige. Nice speaking to you." He smiled genuinely. "Thank you, you too." I smiled back trying my best to also be genuine but probably failing.

I intentionally brushed my body against Lilys as I passed her, using my hands to manoeuvre around her small frame.

We wrapped media and hour or so later and the team and I were free to go but I lingered, shooting random shots while Lily and Marcus had a discussion before they packed up their things.

Marcus left but not before hugging Lily goodbye, I rolled my eyes watching the interaction before making my way over to her.

"My favourite journalist." I say draping my arm over her shoulder and pulling her close.

She laughed, "I wouldn't say journalist, I'm just helping out."

"Ok, my favourite helper-outer then." I tease and we both watch as the final few people exit the court, leaving us alone.

Lilys arm swiftly navigates itself around my waist and she steps in front of me, her other arm looping around my torso also so she was hugging me. Both my arms wrapped around her shoulders and we just held each other for a few seconds.

"So...Marcus?" I drag out looking down at the girl in my arms. I feel her body shake with a little giggle, "Handsome guy, right?" She says pulling away and looking up at me. A scowl forms on my face, "Not really." I say matter of factly crossing my arms.

"Oh, is this jealous Paige?" She asks jutting out her hip and placing her hand on the other. I turn away from her, "No..."

"Oh, I think it is." She says walking around and standing in front of me, extremely close, our toes are touching and her body heat is radiating onto me. She brings her hand to my face and directs me to look at her, "I am one hundred percent gay, Paige." Lily reassures her eyes looking directly into mine.

When we first met, Lily would never hold eye contact with me, as much as I tried but now she was and I could see every single fleck in her eyes. The light brown points making them sparkle under the bright lights.

"And I am one hundred percent regretting agreeing to keep this a secret." I say truthfully now bringing my hand to her face, stroking her cheek gently.

"But just us knowing is so..hot." She says soft and breathy. "The secret glances and touches." She continues, her hand smoothing down my chest to my stomach.

Her eyes linger on my lips and I run my tongue along them.

"Don't do that."

"What?" I ask innocently but a smirk creeps onto my face.

"Don't lick your lips while we're this close."

"Why not?"

She doesn't answer and we stand in silence, tension rising between us as the seconds go on. I move my free hand to her waist and pull her closer, if that was even possible and my hand on her face moves to her neck. I lean down and Lily leans up and after what feels like decades of waiting our lips reach each others and we kiss.

It's needy but delicate and everything and more that I'd imagined it to be. Getting a taste of Lily made me realise I'll never get enough. Her hands are all over me. My stomach, my back, my hips. She kisses me harder with an urgency I never knew I needed.

When we finally pull away from each other, both our chests are rising and falling at a quickened pace. Lilys lips are blushed and plump and they break into a soft, swollen smile.

"Let's get out of here," She says grabbing my hand, "and hope no one was watching the cameras." I'm still speechless as I follow her out of the basketball court, our hands linked together.

I drive me and Lily around Storrs for the best part of a few hours. Lily has her phone connected to my car and is playing her favourite songs.

Her playlists were filled with Lana Del Rey and I think it suited her perfectly. Lily was the embodiment of a Lana Del Rey song, the softness and vulnerability of Lanas vocals complemented the girl next to me without fault.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ��� ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

Lily

I'd barely left the confines of my bedroom in the past two days. I only got up from my bed to pee and grab bottles of water which were now scattered around my room, empty.

Kelsey, Hannah and Madison had periodically been coming in to check on me and bring me whatever food they had ordered in or cooked that day. I'm guessing at some point during all of this, Kelsey had somewhat explained to our other roommates what she had discovered about me, because no one asked questions and that's how I liked it.

I didn't have the mental capacity to explain the way I was feeling or why I was feeling it when I couldn't even understand it myself.

After having the panic attack on Wednesday, everything inside of me felt...off. After throwing myself into my first day at work, I spent the afternoon with Paige and it gave my mind respite from itself. But once I was home and alone with my thoughts, they took over and refused to be tamed.

I went through Thursday in an altered state, so distracted by everything in my head, I felt like I was watching myself from a third persons perspective. The day didn't seem real.

One thing that was clear though was my time spent with Paige. She met me after my final class of the day and we just sat and spoke and enjoyed each others company. Things felt lighter with Paige, easier to handle but I was not Paiges responsibility and I was not about to become a burden to her either.

Kissing Paige on Thursday night was bittersweet because I knew I wouldn't be seeing for a few days at least. I could feel myself slipping into a deep depressive episode and along with that came a whole lot of self isolation.

I isolate myself when I get like this to save the people around me. I'm a ticking time bomb when my thoughts darken and I wanted to minimise the casualties. I was the only casualty allowed.

I cried when Paige dropped me home. I cried for me and this inevitable dark cloud that appears whenever it feels like it. I cried for her because she had no idea what was going on. I cried for us because things were going well and I was about to ruin it.

I skipped classes on Friday and slept most of Saturday. Sleeping when I feel like this is the only time I have that allows the feeling to pause.

It was Sunday now and my roommates had invited me to go to brunch with them, of course I declined. I think they knew deep down what my answer was going to be but they asked anyway.

Kelsey hugged me tight before they left, telling me to call her if I needed to, I just hummed in response and watched the girls with sympathetic smiles on their faces leave.

Getting up from my place in bed, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My hair was bundled in a bun on top of my head, undoubtedly tangled to hell. I had an oversized t-shirt on that I had previously cut to be off-the-shoulder. I looked a mess but I didn't have the energy or care enough to do anything about it.

The healed marks on my arm teased me to feel that of so familiar, temporary relief of physical pain. It was a mental battle that I had won up until today.

Paige

I knocked on Kaylas apartment door after hours, days actually, of deliberation.

"Oh hey, Paige." Kayla says smiling, opening her door for me to step in.

"Hi Kayla." I gave her a small smile in return that makes it obvious that somethings wrong. I've never been good at hidding my feelings.

"What's wrong?" She asks, perching on the edge of her couch.

I sit down too, unsure how to approach the subject without making overly obvious that something was going on between me and Lily.

"Have you spoken to Lily at all?" I ask, not really caring what Kayla thought, worry taking precedent.

She shakes her head, "No, I haven't. Not since Wednesday." She tells me. "Why?"

"I just haven't heard from her in a few days. I've tried messaging but had nothing in response." I explain.

It looks as though something clicks in Kaylas head when I say this but she doesn't speak up.

"What?" I push for her to say what she's thinking.

"Something happened on Wednesday. I promised Lily I wouldn't say anything though."

"What happened Kayla?" I ask, my heart rate increasing at the thought of something bad happening to Lily.

"I really can't say Paige. She asked me not to."

Ouch.

"She asked you not to tell me?"

"Not you specifically, anyone." Kayla says.

"I'm worried." I admit.

"Have you been to her apartment?"

I nod, "I walked past today and yesterday. I rang the buzzer but there was no answer."

"I could try calling her." Kayla suggests pulling out her phone.

"Please." I urge and watch as she presses call on Lilys contact.

The phone rings and rings and eventually goes to voicemail.

"I'm going to her apartment and if I have to break in, I will." Is all I say before leaving Kaylas apartment.

My mind reels with scenarios that could have happened to make Lily go completely MIA as I make the short trip to her building.

As I pull up, someone is leaving the apartment block and I jog from my car to catch the entrance door before it closes and I have no way of getting in.

I take the stairs two at a time to reach Lilys floor and I knock on the door.

Nothing.

I knock again, louder this time.

Still nothing.

Clearly her roommates were not home because they would have answered.

I knock again.

"Lily," I call out her name desperate for a response, "It's Paige."

I wait a while before knocking for the fourth time when I hear the latch of the door click and it slowly creaks open revealing Lily. She looks different, tired, like exhausted and...sad.

"Oh my god, Lily." I exclaim basically forcing myself through the door. "Are you OK?" I ask, my arms instinctively wrapping around her.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice is quiet and shaky and it takes me aback, she usually sounds so upbeat and cheerful.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for days. I went to Kaylas, she said something happened on Wednesday. What happened on Wednesday?" My words are rushed and messy.

"She had no right to tell you that. I asked her not to." Lily says, now out of my arms, she crosses hers over herself.

"I was worried. What happened Lils? Talk to me."

She just looks at me with heavy eyes and takes staggered steps towards the couch before sitting down.

"Is it me? Have I done something?"

"It's not yo-"

"Just tell me if I have. I'll fix it. I really like you Lily." I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.

"Paige." She says getting my attention, "It's not you. Please will you sit down."

"Was it Marcus? I'll kill him if he's done anything to you." I say now thinking of the worst possible things.

"Paige!" Lily says louder this time, "Just sit down." She flings out her arm that was across her chest motioning for me to sit next to her and as she does I notice array of white lines. Healed scars bestrewn across her wrist and inner arm.

She looks from me to her extended arm and quickly pulls it back to her chest before getting up and walking, fast to her room.

I follow after her in silence, unsure what to say in the moment.

When I reach her bedroom, shes pulling a sweater on over her baggy t-shirt.

"Lily.." I begin but I don't really know what to say next.

"You don't have to say anything Paige." She says, sensing my hesitation.

"I want to say something. I just don't know how." I tell her truthfully.

"Just say what you're thinking."

"What happened?"

"When - on Wednesday or what happened to cause my scars?" She asks sitting on her bed, crossing her legs.

"Both." I breathe out going and sitting next to her.

Lily inhales deeply, "I'll tell you, but I want you to know that's its OK if you want to leave after. I'll understand."

"I have nowhere to be today."

"No. I mean like really leave. Leave this," She motioned between us. "before it becomes something."

"Lily, why would I want to leave?" I ask genuinely. Theres nothing that she could say to me right now that would make me want to walk away.

"Because Paige, I'm a burden and being around me when I'm like this quickly becomes exhausting." She says, her head bowed down looking into her lap.

"Don't say that!" My voice comes out louder than I wanted and Lily looks up at me taken aback. "Sorry," I mummble. "but please don't say that. Being around you is not exhausting, I've never felt more alive than when I'm with you, Lily." I shuffle my body over to her, closing the gap between us on her bed.

We're side by side with our backs against the headboard, my legs extended in front of me and Lily's crossed in front of her. I place my hand delicately on her thigh to let her know I'm here whenever she's ready talk.

It takes her a while and we sit comfortably in silence, my hand on her leg and eventually her head on my shoulder, before she speaks.

Lily tells me everything. From her depression diagnosis at thirteen to her somewhat recent breakup and being outted and how that ultimately resulted in her attempting to take her own life. She explained the scars on her arm were self inflicted and she said it was hard to explain but she would rather feel something physically than mentally so thats why she did it.

As much as it was hard for her to explain, it was equally hard for me to understand. I didn't want to think of Lily hurt and understand it.

She had a panic attack on Wednesday that started this most recent episode. She said they come every so often without warning, she's on medication that helps her get through most days but she still has moments that she can't control.

I stayed mostly silent while Lily bravely shared such a vulnerable part of her. She cried at points and I wiped her tears but I didn't ask any questions, I just wanted to listen.

"Do you think I'm crazy." She sniffles, lifting her head from my shoulder to look at me.

I shake me head, "No baby. I don't think you're crazy. I think you've been through a lot in your life. A lot of shit that you didn't deserve. But what matters is, you're here. You're here trying, despite it all and I'm proud of you." I tell the doe eyed girl infront of me.

I place a hand on each of her cheeks and hold her face, wiping strays tears as they fall. I plant a kiss to her forehead, then one on the tip of her nose and I hover my lips over hers unsure if now is the time but Lily's the one to close the space, pressing her mouth to mine.

I kiss her gently at first as if scared to break her but Lily pushes deeper into the kiss, harder. Without breaking us apart, she manoeuvres herself on top of me, straddling my thighs. My hands find her hips like they were made for them and I hold on to her desperately as we continue to kiss.

"I don't want this to change the way you see me." Lily says breathlessly as we break away from each other.

"I knew you before I knew this and that's the Lily I see. The one who buys coffee for her friends when they're hungover, the one who smiles at everyone, the one who works hard. That's the Lily I know." I say to her as she stays sat in my lap, my hands caressing their way up her back.

"If it gets too much...if I get too much, I'll understand." Lily says playing with the strings of my hoodie.

"Can you stop saying stuff like that?" I take her hands in mine, "I want to be here. With you. Right now. Do you understand that? I'm choosing to be here Lily."

She nods a small nod letting me know she heard what I was saying.

Lily flips her leg off of me so shes back at my side. I shuffle down the bed slightly and pull her into me, my arm around her shoulders and head on my chest.

"One thing Lily," I say and she hums in response. "if you ever, ever get the urge to hurt yourself again, please come to me first. You're not alone anymore, I promise you."

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

Lily

This week was going considerably better than last week, thank god.

Paige had spent most of Sunday laid next to me in my bed, even when my roommates returned from their brunch plans, she didn't move. I was falling in and out of sleep for the majority of the day, my emotions had exhausted me and with my head on Paiges chest and my body encapsulated by her arms, I felt a sense of peace that I hadn't for a long time.

Paige reluctantly left my apartment that night after making me promise to never isolate myself from her again. She made it abundantly clear that I can always be open and honest with her and she'd never judge me. I made the promise, but I knew it would be hard to keep.

Wednesday had rolled around again and I had a completely free day. No classes, no homework and I wasn't due in work at all this week. From speaking to Marcus, it sounded like things got busier once the sports season really starts, which isn't until next week.

"Delivery for Miss Kent." Madison says in faux accent knocking on my bedroom door, coffee in hand.

"Ugh, I love you!" I say standing up from my place in bed and taking the iced drink from my roommate. I took a sip straight away and immediately felt like I could take on the day.

"What are your plans for today?" I ask Madison as we walk together from my room to the living room, each taking a seat on the couch.

"I have to get in the library today, how am I already behind? Actually, more importantly, who sets assignments on the first week?" She dramatically asks, eyes wide.

"Oh that's rough. My professors went easy on us." I say silently thanking the college gods.

"So what are your plans for today then?"

"I'm not really sure, I might take a walk around campus and maybe meet Kelsey when she breaks for lunch." I tell Madison my unofficial plans.

I wasn't sure what I'd spend my day doing but I knew I needed to do something, giving my mind downtime was dangerous. I didn't need to sit and think about everything, ever.

"Not seeing Paige?" Madison asks curiously and my head shoots in her direction but I try and play off my surprise.

"Um, no, why would I see Paige?" I lie.

I would love to see Paige today. I hadn't seen her properly since Sunday. I saw her on Monday when I'd popped into the office to meet with Marcus and we'd sneakily made out in an empty bathroom. And we'd briefly bumped into each other yesterday but she was with KK and I was with Kelsey so we kept it short. Maybe I'll message her and see if she's free.

"Oh I don't know, she only spent the whole day here on Sunday. In your room...with the door closed."

My cheeks flushed at the insinuation Madison was hinting at even though nothing like that happened between us. The most Paige I did was was kiss and OK, maybe I was in her lap and maybe I did get flustered and maybe I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her hands on my bare skin and her mouth on mine...

I'm texting Paige.

"We're just friends." I say matter-of-factly, standing up to go and find my phone.

"Uh huh," Madison pretended to agree, "sure you are."

Paige had finally asked for my number after days of using Instagram DMs as our only form of contact.

She had tried to save her contact as Buckets with a serious of drooling emojis but I overruled and we decided on Paige with a star emoji.

good morning p <3

good morning pretty girl

what are u doing today?

wanna hang?

miss me?

duh

ive got practice now but meet me after?

at like 11

i miss you too

ok see u soon 💋

I decided to take my time getting myself ready before meeting Paige. I took a hot shower and washed my hair using all my favourite products.

My phone was propped up on my vanity as i straightened my hair, Emma, my best friend from home, took up the entire screen as we were on FaceTime.

I caught Emma up on my first week at UConn, my account was explicit, there was nothing I couldn't say to my best friend. She begged for pictures of Paige but I didn't have any to send, "I'll take one today." I tell her as I begin applying my makeup.

I keep it natural with a skin tint, brow gel, mascara and of course lip liner, my one true love.

I bid farewell to Emma before hanging up, telling her I miss her dearly and she agrees that she has to come and visit me soon.

With my phone still in my hand, I decided to snap a picture and send it to Paige letting her know I'm ready.

I didn't expect one of Paiges usual quick responses considering she was at practice so I did the final touches to get myself ready before leaving.

Madison had called out a goodbye while I was on FaceTime so I left the empty apartment, locking the door behind me.

The walk to the training facilities wasn't far and took me less than fifteen minutes to reach. Even though I wasn't working today, I had my Staff ID badge around my neck to make it looked like I belonged there.

Walking into the building, I assumed I had arrived just after training had finished. The usual squeak of basketball shoes and balls was nowhere to be found. I made my way to the court peeking through the glass in the door seeing who was around.

My eyes landed on a lonely Paige, dribbling the ball before taking a shot. I couldn't see the basket but could only assume that UConns star girl had made it effortlessly.

I swung the door open and walked in, immediately grabbing Paiges attention. Her previous, serious expression softened as she looked at me, smiling now. We both took rushed steps across the court towards each other until we were face to face.

"Hello, pretty girl." Paige complemented wrapping me in a rather sweaty hug, I fake grimaced, "You're gross." I say trying to wriggle free but Paige is not only taller than me but stronger than me too, I was trapped. "You love my hugs." She protested still not letting me go, "Admit you love my hugs."

I did love Paiges hugs. They were so warm and comforting and I felt like nothing or no one could hurt me while I was bundled up in Paiges arms.

My lack of reply only makes the blonde girl hold me tighter, lifting me slightly off the ground, I let out a squeal, "Paige! Put me down!"

"Admit you love my sweaty hugs." She brings her mouth close to my ear to say that and the hairs rise on the back of my neck at the heat of her breath.

"I love your sweaty hugs." I admit in defeat as she lowers me down, my feet touching the floor once again.

"Thank you." She chirps pressing a quick kiss to my forehead.

"Where is everyone?" I ask looking around the empty room.

"In the locker room cleaning up." She nods her head over to a set of doors which I'm guessing leads to the locker rooms.

"Didn't feel like showering today?" I joke.

"Wanted to shoot around a little more, practice wasn't the best." She explains picking up the ball from where it had rolled to once she dropped it to hug me.

"I doubt that, Buckets." I smirk at Paige as she proves me right by sinking the cleanest three. She smirks back, "You want a go?"

I shake me head immediately, "No. No way." I say backing away from the basketball player.

She laughs and it echos around the court, "Come here, I'll help you." She insists beckoning me over.

"No Paige, I'll be terrible, I know I will." I remain adamant.

"You haven't even tried, have some faith in yourself. Now come here." The second half of her sentence is sterner than the first and the assertion of dominance catches me off guard.

"Yes ma'am." I mummble and walk back to Paige with slightly red cheeks.

"OK, stand here." Paige positions me on the free throw line, using her foot to push mine apart and using her hands to bend my arms in the way she wants. "Here." She hands the ball to me and I take if from her and she immediately giggles.

"What?" I huff, I knew I'd be terrible at this.

"You're so delicate with it." She smiles repositioning my hands on the ball, "Spread your fingers out more." I do as she says and she takes a step back as if admiring her work.

"OK, now shoot." She instructs and I do and it's terrible.

I throw the ball with all my strength and it flies out of my hands and smacks the backboard, missing the basket completely, before rebounding off and almost taking me out in the process. It acted more like a boomerang than a basketball.

Paige was quick to intercept the ball hurling towards me and caught it with one hand before tucking it under her arm.

She was trying her best to hold in a laugh as I just scowled at her and began to walk off.

"Hey, hey, hey." She called grabbing my arm before I could pass her, "That was a...good first attempt." She says leading me back to the same free throw line I'd just embarrassed myself on.

"Good? That's the exaggeration of the century!"

"One more go, I'll help." She hands me the ball again and I reluctantly take it, remembering to spread my fingers like last time.

Instead of standing back and watching, Paige steps behind me this time, her frame enveloping mine. We're so close I can feel her front pressed against my back, her hands cover mine over the ball and I wonder what we look like from an outside perspective.

Paige draws the ball back, my body moving in accordance with hers, before launching it forward and I watch in awe as the ball spins in the air before falling through the basket in a faultless swish.

"There you go baby!" Paige praises, her arms coming together around me, "That would've got you 1 point!" She says unwrapping herself from me, raising her hand for a high five.

I smack my hand to hers, even though that was entirely Paige, I was taking it as my bucket.

"And how many have you got?" I ask referring to points.

"Maybe like five thousand, career wide." She brags but I like it, Paiges confidence in her abilities is one of the most attractive things about her.

"I'm catching up." I tease picking up the ball once more and taking an unserious shot at the basket and to my surprise, I watch as it circles the rim before slipping through.

I snap my head towards Paige in shock, my mouth hung open, her expression mirroring mine.

"Sinking threes? OK Kent!" A familiar voice called out, it was Aubrey coming out of the locker room, a few of the girls following behind her.

"I try." I boast playfully, knowing it was a total fluke.

"Are y'all coming to grab lunch with us?" Ice called out, also emerging from the locker room.

I looked to Paige for her to answer, the girls were Paiges friends and I didn't want to ever feel like I was impending on their hang outs or make it too obvious that we had something going on.

"We actually have plans." Paige says and I raise my brows, did we?

"Cool! Catch you later." The team waved us goodbye as they all filtered off and out of the basketball court.

"What's these plans that we have then?" I ask Pagie once we're alone again.

"Oh, you know. Our usual."

Paige and I hadn't spent much time together in the few weeks we'd been acquainted and any time we were alone, the majority of it was spent with my mouth on hers and vice versa so I didn't know what our usual was.

I look quizzically at Paige, "Which is?"

"Well it requires a lot less distance between us," Say says returning the ball to its rack and walking over to me, "and hardly any talking." She finishes as she reaches me and dips her head slightly to kiss my lips.

I'm smiling as she pulls away, "Sounds like great plans."

"Give me ten minutes to shower and we can go back mine, seeing as the girls are out we'll have the place to ourselves." She tells me before jogging into the locker room.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.204 Colorful world

The food came out shortly, and Desiree forgot all about her mission to uncover the saga of how we met. Sophia got up to her old tricks, telling wild tales, making us laugh. I don't know what comes over her in restaurants, but it's always a good time. Once we had our fill of noodles, and were teetering on the brink of a carb coma, we headed back to the rental and took a proper tour of the house. It had just about everything we needed, and many more things we didn't expect, like a small yoga studio and a private hot spring. We almost didn't need to leave the house.

Desi and I settled in the living room while Sophia unpacked.

"So, what do you think about Mt. Komorebi so far?" I asked.

"I think I like it, but... It's weird here."

"Nooo, don't say that. Things might be different, but that doesn't make them weird. Every place has its own style and culture, and they're all kinda cool in their own ways. Actually, we have a lot of cultures in our family."

Her eyes lit up again.

"We do??"

"Yep. My dad's family is from a place called Monte Vista. It's really far away. But it's very beautiful and looks a lot different from here and San Sequoia. Their culture is very serious about food and influenced a lot of what we eat, like pizza and pasta."

"Pizzaaaaa! What about Mommy?"

I groaned, not because I didn't want to share her story, but because it wasn't mine to tell and she wasn't around to decide whether it got told. But her history isn't her own anymore. That is the exact reason she wanted to have children in the first place. Desiree deserves to know how she got here and who played a part in it.

"Mommy has lots of cultures in her family, so she's extra cool."

"Oooh, like what??"

"Well, part of her family is from Sulani. That's an island, so they live on the beach."

"Ooooooh!!"

"Another part of her family is from El Selvadorada. That's the jungle."

"The jungle?!"

"Mmm hmm. And a very small part of her family is from another faraway place called Al Simhara. That's in the desert where the pyramids are."

"COOOOOOOOOOOL!"

I have no idea if she even knows what the pyramids are or why they're so cool, but her reactions are sending me! She has the cutest, most expressive face.

Sophia finally joined us, asking what all the excitement was about. Before I could answer, the kid gave a very loud, excitable response.

"Daddy said you're cool because you have the most cultures!"

"Oh," she said, chuckling nervously. "Is that right?"

"Let's go outside and watch the snow," she blurted.

"OKAY!"

Desi hopped up and ran outside. Sophia lit the fireplace to keep us warm since we didn't put on our coats.

"Isn't it pretty?" she asked.

"Yes, but it sounds funny," Desiree shouted.

Sophia laughed.

"Yeah...it kinda does. I like the way it sounds, though."

I silently agreed with both of them. It's weird when the snow is thick and really coming down because somehow it can absorb sound, making it eerily quiet outside. But it also has a hushed, serene quality to it that is calming. We stood there and listened for a moment before Sophia turned around and warmed her hands. Desiree watched her, shadowing everything she did. It was the cutest thing. Despite all the time she and I spend together, and despite how much she enjoys our time, it's good to know she still desires her mother and wants to be like her.

I had plans for tonight and was eager to get my vacation agenda started, so I cozied up to Sophia, whispering in her ear.

"You should have told me you were cold. I would have put the kid to bed early so we could light a fire upstairs."

She giggled.

"I mean...you could still do that."

"Say less."

I grabbed Desi and ushered her upstairs.

"Time for bed, Des!"

"But I'm not tired!"

"You will be. Trust me! We had a long journey today. It'll hit you very soon. Just close your eyes and think sleepy thoughts."

"But I don't have sleepy thoughts!"

Once you hear us, you'll wish you did.

"I need some water," she said.

"You're fine. Drinking water will make you get up and pee later." And then you might see some things.

"I want to stay up with you and Mommy," she whined.

"I know, hon. But you'll get to hang out with us all day for three straight days. That's what's so cool about vacation."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart!"

"Okay."

She changed her clothes and slid under the covers. I tucked her in and gave her a goodnight kiss.

"Sweet dreams for our sweet potato."

She closed her eyes and was down for the count within minutes, just like I said.

I all but ran next door to our room and tore off my clothes. But to my surprise, Sophia had found another activity to enjoy.

"Luca, this is so nice! I've never done it half naked by a fire before."

Hopefully she wouldn't enjoy it for too much longer. My time was growing short. You got to strike while the iron is hot; ya know? But we are on vacation, and like I just told Desi, we're gonna have three whole days of togetherness. We don't have to burn a hole in the mattress tonight. Besides, Sophia does so much for our family, never complaining or making excuses. She deserves to relax, so I sat patiently and admired her from a distance...

But then I got a very selfish idea, heh. I never got a chance to give her that full body massage, and it's high time she sees exactly what these hands can do. First, I'll start innocently with her hands. Then, I'll hit her neck and shoulders, like last time. I'll move down her back real slow, and when I start squeezing that ass, she will be putty in my hands. It's about to go DOWN!

[jazzeria]

A lil update on my lil blankie: more signs of wear in the construction, flaws are showing themselves, and the fabrics are breaking in (some nicely, some are wearing).

3 Jan 2025

So by now, Lil Blankie is about 7 weeks old and has been washed about 5 times.

I sleep with the blanket every night. Sometimes I cover my head and eyes as I sleep. Sometimes I wear it like a cape around my shoulders as I go about my business in the home. Every second day or so, I spend several minutes just snuggling it for the sheer joy of it--and also for science, of course.

But increasingly, there's a sense of... Well, it's less lighthearted than it used to be. I can see and feel Lil Blankie ageing and wearing down--recording it makes me even more aware of it. I'm feeling the entropy.

But also, that was kinda the point of this project: to prepare for repairing my (much larger, and much more emotionally significant) childhood blankie by testing various fabrics, practising the skills required, and, perhaps, becoming comfortable with the idea of wear and repair.

...

The flannel pilling is becoming more noticeable. I'm not sure if this is just because I'm more conscious of it, or if it's actually getting appreciably worse. Hard to say at this point.

The Essex cotton-linen continues to break in beautifully, becoming more and more pliable. The texture is still coarse however.

I'm really enjoying this lovely criss-cross crinkle!

The Sprout Woven is softening beautifully, too. I'm starting to see some wear, but I think it's a good thing: little raised fibres like you'd see on flannel. I can see why this is sometimes used for quilting! I think it's gonna be cuddly and squishy and just generally really nice for snuggling!

The Japanese wovens haven't changed much since last time: they still have a "crispness" that hasn't washed out: a bit stiff, and about as coarse as before. I wonder if they will soften before they wear out?

The only exception is, where the Japanese wovens are backed by the thinnest quilting cottons, there is some kind of transferrence of the quilting cotton's pliability, through to this side... I can't tell if this is purely a psychological phenomenon, or an empirically objective quality. It might be the Japanese woven slipping slightly against the smooth quilting cotton.

In any case, they still have a slightly coarse texture, which I'm attributing to the weave (perhaps a slub in the yarns, or just a coarser weave), and they've developed a criss-cross crinkle as well.

A small patch of the pale blue-purple woven had a tear that I noticed during construction, and patched with fusible stabiliser on the wrong side. The stabiliser quickly wore off (second or third wash?) and the tear began fraying. But I don't think it's grown any larger. I'll have to remember to measure it in future posts.

The Japanese print (which I've since learned is a heavier 220 gsm cotton) continues to break in beautifully. While it's not as cuddly as Sprout Woven, or as smooth as quilting cottons, it feels... "sturdy" and "reliable". I really really want some house pants made from this fabric! But I could imagine a long-cherished blanket being made from it, too.

Here's some shots of the tear I noticed last time. I think it's grown a little since the last post.

On the triangle side (which was made using various quilting cottons)...

In general, all these cottons have softened up beautifully. I think they're at peak softness right now: the most pliable, before they start to fuzz and wear out. So I guess I need to record how long before they fuzz and wear out.

The thinnest cottons, I think they're more appropriately described as "lawn": about 95 gsm, thin enough I can see my hand through, very smooth. For the purposes of these posts, I'll consider them a sub-set of "quilting cottons".

Here's my favourite wrinkly triangle (incorrectly sized during cutting, and stretched/squished to make the triangle points fit together nicely):

When I search for the softest quilting cotton, the order is still:

lawns, when backed by flannel

any quilting cotton, when backed by flannel

the rest, except:

the black-and-colours floral print, especially when backed by Essex linen

When I run my hand over the triangle side, it just feels lovely and squishy all over. I can especially tell when I'm touching lawn backed by flannel, because of how smooth the lawn's surface is. But anything backed by flannel also feels quite lovely.

I can also tell when I touch the black-and-colours floral print (not the black-and-white floral print), especially when it's backed by Essex. This quilting cotton is subtly-but-noticeably coarser than any of the others. I have no idea why, but I can just tell that it is. This fabric came in the same pack as the black-and-white print, which I think also feels very slightly coarser than the other prints?...but I don't think it's as coarse as the black-and-colours print. ... This could be entirely subjective, however.

Some shots to show the lovely drape of these cottons:

I love that my imperfect sewing made this side pucker and crinkle; and I'm extra glad I decided to quilt along the triangle seams (the diagonal ones, anyway) for the larger areas of un-sewn surfaces on this side.

I'm so happy I decided to make this lil blankie.

[kandisheek]

Cap-Ironman Rec Week 2024

Early Canon Wednesday: July 24th

Prompt: Bring on all those fanworks set in those heady early days of canon where Steve and Tony have just met and are starting to work together.

Aaaah yes, the good old 2012 tower era. We all remember it fondly. (Well, if you're like me and joined the fandom late, you don't, but - whatever. The point stands.) Here are some of my favorite early canon fics:

-- Bond Has It Covered by sara_holmes

Tony thought they had trouble getting along when they were dealing with a major global crisis. Apparently that had nothing on how they fell apart when they weren't distracted by smashing aliens.

-- All These Things I've Said by Dr_Amuly

When Tony starts talking in a language Steve can't understand--the language of science--Steve figures he'll retaliate with a little foreign language knowledge of his own. Only once he starts speaking French around Tony, Steve finds that sometimes it's easier to say what he really wants to say to Tony in a language he can't understand. Good thing Tony doesn't know French.

-- (First Impressions Are) A Work in Progress by ras_elased

Tony has a point system for the times he can get Steve to be less than perfect.

MORE RECS BELOW THE CUT:

-- Drinking Games by kahn

"Okay, house rules,” Clint said, leaning back against the backrest of the booth they were seated at. “It can't be a random celebrity, or something. It has to be someone you actually know. Someone you'd go to if you suddenly found yourself gay and then had to have sex right away." Steve thinks drinking with the team will be a good bonding session for their newest Avenger, but, as usually happens with his people and alcohol, things go kinda sideways.

-- Some Things Shouldn't Be a Chore by scifigrl47

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

-- Theory of Mind by seventymilestobabylon

Or, five things Steve didn't let Tony buy him, and one thing he did.

-- This is Not a Drill by sabrecmc

“Can I—can I see him? I mean meet him. Uh…welcome him to the team?” Tony clarified, probably not very well, he knew.  “Well…there’s a bit of an issue with that,” Fury said, and Tony figured this was where Fury got to whatever it was that had really forced his hand and made him call Tony in, knowing how much the man detested having to do so. “You see, well. He was suspended in the ice for nearly seventy years,” Fury began. Tony nodded along, because he could do math.  “I’m sure he has a lot of adjusting to do—“ Tony started. “Seventy years,” Fury repeated, cutting Tony off and leaning back in his chair and making it rock slightly. “Of no suppressants.” “Oh,” Tony managed to choke out past the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. “Oh.”

-- i stole the keys to this guy by kellifer_fic

Where it was Nick Fury's idea, but he didn't mean it like that.

And two of my own fics:

-- Cozy

Tony seems to have a propensity to hug Steve whenever he's sleep-deprived. Which would be all well and good, if Steve had any idea why Tony chose him of all people to be his personal teddybear.

-- What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You

Steve and Tony are good friends. Very good friends. The kind of friends that go out to eat every other day, cuddle on the couch and are all up in each others' space. They're not dating though. No matter what the team says. Right?

[stormyoceans]

Sleepover ask -

PuenTalay headcanon, at Properly Old. Not forties, not fifties. But like... 70+.

😘 go!

DIDN'T EXACTLY PLAN TO CRY MY HEART OUT ON THIS FINE FRIDAY NIGHT BUT NO YEAH I CAN DO THAT SURE WHY NOT IT'S GOOD IT'S FINE IM FINE IM DEFINITELY NOT ALREADY TEARING UP OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT

basically this is the thing im sensitive about. so i took some of the headcanons i already had about this and tried to write them a little bit better, but i feel like they might be..both too specific and yet not specific enough at the same time ;;;;;;; still, i hope they can be at least an interesting read!!!!

SO HERE GOES NOTHING

it feels kinda silly to start with this but. they have matching pill organizers: blue for talay, pink for puen;

talay has diabetes and high blood pressure (too many sweets), puen has arthritis;

talay also has to go back wearing glasses because of presbyopia, while puen somehow still manages to have better eyesight than him;

don't ask me why, but i always loved the idea of puen eventually starting a garden in their yard (i blame the pink trumpet tree and the lotuses) and now not even his aching bones can keep him away from his veggies and his flowers;

when they were younger, puen was always the one getting up late and trying to keep talay in bed, but as they grew older their habits somehow switched: puen would usually wake up at dawn, and after staring at talay snugged closely against him and marveling at how their bodies still fit together perfectly after all those years (soft paunches and weary muscles and fine bones and all), he would throw on a dressing gown and slip into a pair of rubber boots to go putter around the garden;

talay would wake up some time later and slowly make breakfast before calling puen back inside to eat together;

when puen's arthritis gets bad, talay gently holds puen's hands in his own and rubs the thin, speckled, slightly gnarled skin with ointment, before pressing a kiss on top of them;

puen still loves to take baths, loves to sink in the hot water with all his creaking joints and let himself relax for a while. talay can't join him in the tub anymore, which is a pity, but he's always there to help puen out, to wrap a towel around him and pat him dry;

despite his worries, puen still has a full head of hair, but it's all gray now. talay has less gray hair but more lines on his face, especially around the eyes (puen loves them);

technically they're both retired, but puen still writes from time to time, especially children's books, and talay has learned he actually enjoys painting quite a lot (and even sold a couple of his works);

im fully convinced they would adopt a kid some time after the our skyy's events, but by now the kid would have grown up and started their own family, and while of course they're very close and puentalay are wonderful grandparents (or even great grandparents!!!!!!), not long after their kid went to college, puen started to brought in stray cats and never really stopped after that (talay did try to stop it the very first time, but it's hard to say no to puen, especially when he's holding a tiny kitten he just saved from the streets) [also no matter how many cats they had throughout the years, they all somehow fell in love with talay. talay always jokes that it's because puen is a cat himself];

one morning, talay gets out on the porch to call puen for breakfast and suddenly he can't speak. there’s a painful buzzing in his head and a strange sagging feeling on his face, and when he tries to call puen's name his mouth doesn't cooperate. somewhere in the distance, their new stray, a tabby who loves to follow puen around in the garden, is meowing almost desperately. the last thing talay remembers is puen's pale face and puen's arms wrapped around him;

talay's had a very mild stroke, but thankfully there was no damage. with some rehabilitation and some adjustments of his meds, he is back walking and talking and cooking and painting like before. puen gets stricter with their diet tho, and he insists they go for a walk every day. in the past, he had sometimes joked around pretending to feel sick or to forget about stuff just to tease talay. now, he doesn't find it funny anymore. they aren't able to talk about their fears, but they don't need to speak out loud to understand each other. some nights they just spend hours kissing, slow and purposeful and certain, focusing on what makes them alive: the cadence of their breaths, the tremble of their bellies, the clutch of their fingers;

they don't really talk much about the alternate universe anymore, not because they don't remember it or no longer think about the people they met there, but because they've built a life and a family in their own, and they like to believe that so did everyone on the other side too. sometimes tho, when it's late and they're lying in bed together, fingers entwined and foreheads touching, talay would asks "in our next life, do you think we’ll find each other again?”, and every single time puen would whisper fiercely, holding talay so tightly it almost hurt, "i found you across universes, i'll find you across lives too";

there was a time when they both thought they would spend the rest of their lives alone. then, they found each others

[acaplaya-musings]

A random selection of old VoicePlay live performances

I had vaguely considered making separate posts for each of these, but eh, let's just throw em in together.

Want something to help entertain yourself while you wait for any new VoicePlay/Geoff content? Well here's a small selection of live show recordings that I stumbed across over the past month or two! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

4:2:Five - Frankie Valli Four Seasons Medley

This one isn't technically VoicePlay - it's pre-VoicePlay! Aka the group under their former name, 4:2:Five. Apparently this was for some "Celebrity Cruises, CLIA award dinner" (just based on the first couple seconds of the video), all the way back in 2010! So we have Geoff, Layne, and Earl all looking very young (baby Geoff! 💜), and then they're also joined by former members Danny Alan and Ryan Reed (shoutout to one of the Patrons in the Discord server for identifying them for me!)

I knew every song here, and I loved both the singing and the bits of choreography, but the first time I watched this it took me an embarrassing amount of time to fully realize that "oh wait this isn't actually acapella" 😅😂

VoicePlay - Boy Band Medley (Acapella) (from 2013)

Last month (back in December) I happened to hear What Makes You Beautiful by 1D on the car radio. My first thought was "god this song must be over 10 years old now" (correct - it's 13 years old), but my second thought was thinking that VoicePlay would be great at covering the song. I said this in the Geoff's Patrons Discord server, and someone else was like "they have covered it", and of course I was like "link???"

I still think a cover of "What Makes You Beautiful" done by the current lineup now would be amazing (with either Omar or Anthony as the collaborator maybe?), but this was definitely fun as well! Honestly it's kinda fun to go into a medley like this, not knowing for sure what songs are gonna be used, and so you have like one or two seconds of uncertainty when a new song starts, and then it clicks and you're like "oh my goodness"

If you're reading this without watching the video and you're being like "what do you mean you weren't sure about the song lineup? Isn't it just more or less the same as their 2019 boy band medley?" Nope, there's only three songs here that also make it to their Boy Bands In 5 Minutes video (also the 1D song they replaced WMYB with, Best Song Ever, hadn't even been released yet when this live performance was done! As it came out in July 2013, while this was January 2013).

As I watched this video, I quickly realized that if I had somehow known about VoicePlay in this early era (and had been like 2 or 3 years older than what I actually was in 2013), Geoff wouldn't have been the one who would draw my eye the most… I would've been giving most of my attention to Tony 😅 (what can I say - he can dance and he looks great in eyeliner)

Kinda amusing to see that apparently the joke about Geoff being "old" has been going on even since his short-hair days.

'WOW HITS' VoicePlay on The Sing-Off Tour 2015

When I asked for the link to the previous video, this video ended up being shared in the chat soon after as well, and I was like "alright sure, might as well watch it", and yeah it's pretty great 😄 (And also Utterly Ridiculous)

Was so blown away by getting a Layne rap section that I kinda hadn't fully processed what song it was, and so the drop into the "chorus" with the background choreo movements from the other four guys fully kicked me in the face 🤣

I wasn't fully familiar with every song here like I was for the previous two medleys (never heard of "Drunk On A Plane" before in my life), but hey, it's still overall a good time (even if I feel like I'm missing a bit of context with the "WOW album thing, lol)

Voiceplay - Oogie Boogie Song Live 12-20-19

This one was also shared in the VP Discord server back in December last year, though the original video of course comes from 2019, and it's a live Disneyworld performance! (I think)

Look, if you're a big VP fan like me, then you likely know Oogie Boogie's Song off by heart. And if you watch as many reaction channels as I do, then you perhaps may even know it inside out and backwards. But this video is still worth a watch in my opinion! (Though note that the audio is a little iffy, and there's a bit of a feedback noise when Geoff goes for the E1 sub)

I've mentioned this back in my Voiceplay Visuals post I did for Oogie Boogie's Song, but basically that video is one of the few videos where my brain struggles to fully comprehend Geoff as "Geoff". It's hard to explain. I still know it's him, obviously, and it's not like a Song Of Durin situation or a Hide And Seek situation, but with the heavy face makeup and the costuming and the in-character theatrics and all, he's very much being a different person (or, well, Boogey Man, I suppose).

All of ⬆️ the above point to say that this video is honestly really something! Like seeing Geoff looking like his regular self (no costuming or face paint), but with him still acting in-character and just looking like he's having a good time? Man it's almost too much for me to handle, I love him so much <3

[minniiaa]

diff anon but in regards to why law would suddenly become more affectionate towards luffy (ur last ask):

i like the idea that law simply realizes over time (or maybe his friends point it out to him) that luffy gives him so so much and law lowkey makes luffy ask for the smallest things (in terms of affection and intimacy). after law has the revelation that "he basically only ever takes and takes and takes and barely gives anything in return, which is kinda unfair to luffy", he feels bad and decides he'll try to be more open/affectionate/honest, and finds he actually really enjoys loosening up like that and just letting go. especially when luffy's reactions look like that...

law's never been that relaxed and content in his life so he'll stick to it since luffy doesn't seem to mind at all (on the contrary, he really enjoys it) seeing how he'll give law anything he asks for without hesitation.

in summary, the change happens bc law wants their relationship to be a fair give and take, and continues bc he likes it (life is much nicer and easier when you let yourself be coddled from time to time, hmm, law?)

-🥜

OMG YES ANON! That's perfect. I appreciate you sm, you solved my dilemma!

I feel like Law has this view of himself that he is an extremely selfish person (even though he's not, he's just bad at accepting love and giving it in return). I love that in his attempt to give Luffy more, he ends up receiving (and taking I suppose) even more than before.

Law realizes that giving up control by offering more to Luffy makes him happy just as much as it makes Luffy happy. Luffy's nearly jumping out of his seat every time Law so much as looks at him with bedroom eyes and when they're intimate (which is happening wayyy more now that Law's initiating it too), he's showering him with praise over how amazing and hot he is. Luffy loves it when Law tells him exactly what he wants, he's been asking him to do that since they got together so he can make him feel as good as possible.

When Law asks for something, Luffy gives him everything and then some, and he loves every second of it. Suddenly Law's decision to give Luffy more and take less turns into them both being greedier (and more satisfied) than ever. Law doesn't think he can go back to his old emotionally unavailable and almost cold ways and he doesn't know why the hell he didn't do this months ago.

[azures-grace]

Hey

Hey @atomiclace

You wanted to hear about my goobers. (In fake Italian accent) I make-a de post

I'll ramble and then drop a bunch of art of them..

Ok so

Lissy and Butch? At each other's THROATS for like. 12-13 years of their life. She was getting shoved around at like. Age four.

For the most part, after about age nine or so she was just like, "I don't have the energy to care about this" but her apathy like. Made this kid mad, so the issues spiked for a bit, but it stopped being physical attacks after she shot Butch and Co with her BB gun when they jumped her after her party.

After the. Gun violence. They kinda like... Cooled off a bit? Her relationship was more chill with Paul than anyone else. He's all Tunnel Snakes Rule and all that, but they've never had any real vendettas against each other personally. She doesn't like Wally, she thinks his older brother is scary (foreshadowing 😔), and she thinks his whole family hates her (they do 😔) so she doesn't interact.

She might not be getting into physical spats with Butch from 11 up, but she's certainly like. Throwing things at him. They're stabbing each other with pencils instead of fistfighting <3. She ends up sitting right in front of him in class and it's. Not her favorite.

Not a whole lot changes after that until the GOAT.

Big changes: 1) she starts avoiding Wally like the plague after breaking into his family's house and like. I think they're vault fanatics and she's literally just living there, she couldn't care less, the brainwashing ain't working, but the Macks fucking terrify her. 2) she ends up picking up a side gig as the tattoo artist (at first to work on her finger dexterity for lock picking, but she stays because she enjoys the job and the money) and that's where her relationship with Butch starts to develop.

Those two bozos go from enemies to coworkers, but it's like. Coworkers >:[. They're relatively amicable, but they'll argue and she'll mess with his stuff when she goes to search his house. They start eating lunch together. She'll bring him food occasionally. The animosity bar is slowly lowering.

After Freddie joins the gang whenever he does, Felicity just kinda goes, "hey man, we've hated each other forever, how about we change that, your gang has all the men, and I need to not be hated by y'all in the future" and Butch is like. "Ew. Sure." And they become Coworkers :|

There's also this like. Very small period of time where they're like. Off and on in like. The world's worst, most awkward, closed off relationship.

That's mostly because Felicity's generally afraid of attempting to date anyone, because the last time she tried that with Amata at age 13, they got busted by the overseer so fast, and she's for sure it's because she tried to date someone and not because the overseer is like. Very against lesbians because that's not gonna help the vault population or something.

Anywho, so she saves his mom before busting out of the vault and then some months later comes back. I have been bullied into the canon 😔

Anywho, she doesn't kill the Overseer, she gets booted out, and then goes back to mourning her dad. She goes back to Rivet City to get some of Dr Li's things to bring them back to the Citadel. That's where she picks up Butch. They start traveling together and it's. Interesting.

They don't. Really know what to do. They aren't fighting anymore, they're not in the same situation they were in, they're both basically orphaned, you know what time it is? If you guessed two idiot teenagers bullying a bunch of small children, you'd be wrong it's the other way around

So they get their asses beat in Lamplight by a bunch of like. 12 year olds and it's not until they're separated by the enclave that Felicity really realizes "aw shit I do like this guy and I do actually care a lot about him" and when they're back home with the GECK, she's like, "hey I know we're like friends n stuff but like. What if we could be like. Dating." And bam they're. Dating question mark.

After Take It Back and her two weeks of being out, they're pretty much like, "yeah no we're dating now"

They head out west after a year in DC, and they make a lil farm a bit away from Goodsprings, and Felicity gets a job as a fragile items courier. She's got the fragile ones because she's not the fastest walker, but she's never had a package break.

OH NO HEADSHOT TIME

So anyway she finally gets back to Butch after like. Five months of him thinking she's dead because Benny stole her pip-boy. She comes home with her party in tow before going to the fort to break her loser out and get her chip back.

She sends Benny to live with Butch and then goes and Yes Mans her way through Vegas while killing as few people as possible and only getting blown up a few times.

She comes back home and is like

"hey Butch, I've slept with other people in the past 8 months"

"ok."

"also I joined another gang in Vegas"

"

"

Anywho, they start the world's worst poly relationship with Benny, she and Butch get married after a few years, she gets off whiskey, they have a baby they name Catherine, all is well.

In like.... 2284(?) Felicity is like, "hey I know we're nice and settled here and we have a five month old, but I wanna go back home for a while cause they don't have any lactation consultants over there" (when she had Catherine, it took forever to see one in the fort full of doctors, so she was like, "I gotta do something")

So they bully the brotherhood into sending a vertibird (maxon was not happy) and went back to DC

They got called by MacCready to come help him after Lucy died, Felicity immediately said yes because she's like, "omg a baby"

So they go over there, live with him and Duncan for a while, and keep watching Duncan while he goes to find the cure.

After MacCready comes back (with Cynthia, my SoSu), they head out and decide they actually want to go back to the Mojave after a year.

They bully the brotherhood into getting them another vertibird, promise to stay in touch with the MacCreadys, and head back to Vegas.

Then they have their son who they name Paul and I haven't thought much past that.

Pictures time yippee

I don't have a lot of drawings of Paul 😔

[shilo-sumac]

Pokémon List!

(I wanted to declutter the pinned so heres a standalone post for reference reasons)

Battling Pokémon!

Rin-tin-tin "Rin" the Zoroark, a longtime companion and best friend. Extremely intelligent, but has a sassy sour mood towards most everyone besides me. My loyal protector! *(I believe her higher than average strength size and intelligence are due to being an "Alpha" Pokémon)

Gadzooks the Garchomp "Zookie," Thinks he is a lap Pokémon. Is very big and sharp. I still allow him to think he's a lap Pokémon since he's so cute. Hall of Famer (Sinnoh.)

Bane the Gliscor, Friendly, cuddly, but not very bright. Follows directions very well, but has a hard time if he has to figure out something on his own. Hall of Famer (Sinnoh.)

Bianca the Weavile, Only slightly less sassy than Rin. Is a bit restless since we no longer do a bunch of battles or travel. Has a soft spot for baby Pokémon. (If she doesn't eat the eggs first...) Hall of Famer (Sinnoh.)

Spooky! the Mimikyu, Silly girl. Exclamation point necessary. Is shiny! Hatched when I volunteered at a breeding and reintroduction project. I was kinda hoping to happen upon a shiny, but I didn't expect it to be the first egg!

Mym the Dragapult, Caught to help out with baby Pokémon but also enjoys battling. A good flying mount, if a bit weird feeling to sit on.

Bizatch the Porygon-Z, Found in a shifty download link. Temorarily took over my phone. Promised to be good if allowed on the internet again, so far so good! Hyper, takes some time to load, likes older internet humor but not averse to learning new memes. Listed as a battler despite us not actually battling together, he claims he can at least. Sometimes accidentally reverts to old programming and automatically sends suspicious links or tries to sell you something.

Octane the Charmander, Traumatized by a storm that flooded the nursery, thus becoming very attached to me. Decided for his own good to keep him. He seems to have trouble using fire type moves.

Foster the Stufful (Egg), Not yet hatched. Dropped off by what looked like an Eternatus, but surely it was just a decorated drone...

Non-Battlers

Urtle the Torterra, Retired. Already old when we started journeying together, it had been waiting on someone to choose him for a starter for an indeterminate amount of time. Grumpy but has a good heart. Mainly sleeps in the sun. Hall of Famer (Sinnoh.)

Mr. Kabby the Kabutops, Surrendered by a family that had him for generations. Technically retired, but assigned himself the duty of teaching the wild water Pokémon around the island how to fight and defend his home.

Vampira the Crobat, Helps connect to the "Zubat Network." Zubat around the island and can pass on any trouble they detect with their sonar. Can also get messages over long distances in a similar way to a game of telephone. (Granted that the area they are spreading the message to is somewhere with Zubat.)

Simon and Morgan the Umbreon and Espeon, Always together, a bonded pair. Very good at calming me down, so I guess they're service Pokémon? They're both girls despite their names.

Char the Charizard, A Charizard I met when I traveled to Kanto once. Was injured by parasitic crystals and can no longer fly. Maybe I can get him a prosthetic one day. A very calm and gentle dragon.

Lucky the Rattata, Surrendered from a shady breeding project. Is shiny, but has birth defects causing him to be born without a leg and with a partially formed tail. Extroverted and curious, wants to battle.

Off-Island Pokémon

Monarch the Vespiquen, When on my trainer journey I helped out her hive. She wanted to become a better protector in the future, so she agreed to join my team to gain experience and power. I still am legally her trainer, and she often helps me acclimate rescued bug types into the wild. Hall of Famer (Sinnoh.)

Bess the Rhyperior, Visits the island still from time to time or if I need muscle. Didn't want to live surrounded by water all the time, so instead she helps out Professor Rowan and local rangers. A chill girl and a bit clumsy. Hall of Famer (Sinnoh.)

[guardevoir]

Fiber arts update!

The postal service gods have smiled upon me and gotten me my wheel a day early, huzzah!

I might just be developing kit-based stockholm syndrome, but putting this thing together was actually kinda fun. Easier than the loom and, hilariously, less frustrating than the fucking bobbin winder, even if it did take absolutely forever. Also, I like the way it sounds (or... doesn't sound like much, as the case may be), I like the way it looks, I like how sturdy it is. And I think I'm starting to really enjoy the way it spins, too.

On the other hand? I have thoughts.

Why is there no convenient place to put fiber. Why are the sliding hooks so goddamn hard to operate smoothly. And, honestly, I don't mind the double treadle, but I also still do not understand why it exists. It makes direction control harder, with no notable upside that I can see.

I'm also fighting a desperate battle against the concept of scotch tension. I mean, I did pick a single drive wheel kind of deliberately, because there's upsides to it that double drive does not have (like how the drive band isn't a non-euclidean nightmare of horribleness)... but goddamn it, I really didn't appreciate the smooth, incredibly even take-up of my old wheel enough until now. You put the tension somewhere, and unless something catches in the orifice, that's the tension you're gonna get, no ifs and buts. The Kiwi 3, meanwhile, likes to periodically tug at my fiber and it's weirding me the fuck out. At least tension's about as easy to adjust as my double-drive wheel (which, thanks to its center-screw setup, is probably a great deal easier than average for double-drive), but also just as finicky.

The "no convenient place to put fiber" thing is annoying, though. The vintage wheel has all kinds of bits and bobs that you can fix your WIP to in a pinch, plus a nice handy distaff, while the Kiwi 3 spins, and anything beyond that single function is kind of a "not my goddamn job" kinda deal.

I do appreciate the orifice hook slot, though.

I have also somehow STILL MISPLACED the orifice hook about half a dozen times in the last few hours. I am incorrigible.

The most interesting takeaway is that I was kinda scared that I'd get a new spinning wheel and realize that my old one is crap. This is definitely not what happened. Despite all my grumbling, I do like the Kiwi and I'm very happy to have it, but I'm also realizing all the upsides of the vintage wheel that I took for granted. Like how easy it is to get it started in the right direction with barely a tap of my foot, (almost) no matter which position it's in. The even take-up. The feather-light tension. The distaff. The nub I can wrap my spin around when taking a break. The fact that, when I stop treadling, both flyer and bobbin stop at the same time.

On the other hand, I will admit to never taking the bobbin off of that vintage wheel unless I absolutely have to. To wind off, I usually just lower the tension all the way and let the bobbin free-spin, because fuck that. And the Kiwi also doesn't make me smack my shins into a wooden base on a regular basis. AND I got the high-speed whorl for it so now I have ratios from 5.5:1 all the way to 15:1, and it's glorious. Plus, it's a whole lot quieter. And as much as I don't like the specific way they set up the sliding hooks, they're still much, much more pleasant than the double-threaded nightmare I had to pull off on the vintage wheel half the time.

TL;DR: new wheel good, once I get my blending board and really figure out the tension on the Kiwi, I'll be so fucking powerful you folks

[zealsoughtsequesterustanxiedemon]

Binged Ore ga Watashi ni Naru made, AKA Until I Become Me, in the last couple days (or rather caught up, since it ain't finished). P short, but sweet GB manga with a bunch of gender feels (and middle school drama lel). Does the "you contracted the genderswap disease when you were 8 years old and there is no cure" and actually plays it kinda seriously.

Since he was a bully as a boy, he kind of gets isolated, harassed, and has to move schools and just 100% commit to being a girl. It's played as like a p traumatic experience. Enough that the MC prioritizes fitting in as a girl as much as he can and his family is always worried about this being a burden on him. The english fanslation actually uses "I(♀)" and "I(♂)" to denote when he's using Watashi(♀) or Ore(♂).

The way things progress is that the MC slowly starts to like feminine things more because it connects her to her best friend. This progresses more and more, but the MC continually feels guilt around her family because she feels like she's not lining up with their expectations (she's not supposed to like this). There's a funny moment where her mostly absent, businessman dad buys her this keychain because he remembers that she liked stuff like this when she was a boy, but she's like a teen now so it's like:

Actually, on that note, I really like how this manga voices it's MC's thoughts a lot at different times. It gives a lot of her gut reactions, her guilt, her social anxiety, her random hate of this bitchy classmate, etc. It also kinda confirms that she still doesn't feel 100% a girl. Like still using majority Ore in internal monologue as of recent chapters. There's even a more direct statement of it of her venting to this nurse who sorta became her Onee-chan she relies on in v tough situations:

Iunno like all of this together makes it feel v real. Stuff you can't tell friends your own age or family because it would completely change your life so you can only tell this nurse/friend you trust. Honestly, if I were in her situation, I could easily see myself turning into this weird Bigender mess.

I don't think the series will fully go that way. It's sort of taking steps so that the MC sees he can enjoy the male hobbies that he's still attached to despite being a girl, so I'm expecting her to fully just accept being a girl eventually. Which I'd actually be p happy with; the internal monologue walking us through her direct reactions to a lot of these moments has made that feel like a viable option I'd be happy with. I think that's partially why I like this story a lot more than other GB manga. A lot of those just don't show the MCs thought process much at all, which leads to me interpreting things that can eventually leave me feeling burned when they start identifying as something I didn't feel coming by the end.

Honestly, an ultra-based option would be her eventually becoming an orekko, since that'd be her finally being comfortable with her inner voice coming out. I have less hope for bigender (or even boy beyond that, this is a GB story after all), but I still got a sliver.

Oh also, the best friend earlier, v fun. They're v sweet together and it feels like it might eventually end up going for a yuri route with her and MC. Even if they don't, they've just been through so much together and been supportive of each other that I'm super sold on the friendship. I like the gag where BF calls MC a perv.

Overall just p sweet manga. There's drama, but it doesn't feel too heavy (even if the MC is freaking out about it).

TBH maybe I shouldn't count out the boy/boy-adjacent ending options, recent chapter, although untranslated, had him in a sweater-vest.

[desultory-novice]

Multi-colored Kirby asks!

Do you have any head canons for the different color Kirbys?

Do you think the four Kirbys from the Amazing Mirror ever refused together? They were never shown too

Do you think Yellow Kirby and Keeby are the same person?

Do you think the Kirbys from Kirby Fighters, Dream Buffet, etc. are all Kirby(s) or do you think they are just the same species of Kirby?

Fun Fact: Green Kirby from Super Smash Bros. is canonically names Kusamochi!

Time to recover some of those really old, really good asks that I let slip under the radar for wayyy too long...!

Multi-colored Kirbys! Hooray!

I do enjoy the different shades of Kirby! Anecdote but when I got big into fabric arts, I bought a shoe-rack thingy you could stick on a door to organize my steadily growing collection of yarns by color! I loved it so much I... eventually let the yarn go unused because I was so happy with my pretty room decoration I wanted to look at it, not use it. (Poor Dess's many neglected hobbies...)

AHEM! What this mostly makes me think back to is, oh, I wonder if I can find it... It was a quote by Sakurai (?) answering "Why does Kirby split into 3 in Kirby's Dream Land to dance?" And Sakurai's answer, to everyone's amazement, was not something that explained Kirby's powers or Kirby as a species. He said it was "...because it's fun."

Kirby seems to be able to split themselves because "it's more fun that way!" Amazing! And this got me thinking... the DL1 Kirbys were in black-and-white but...would they still be that way now? Maybe THAT was the true origin/original appearance of the multi-colored Kirbys - we just couldn't see it at the time!

I've always held that Keeby was another Kirby that Kirby made/summoned up (like the dancing Kirbys) because golf (...or Kirby's version of golf - ...because Dream Course is we~ird) would be more fun with two players! So bam! Instant friend Keeby!

As for Amazing Mirror... I have a certain very serious headcanons about Dark Meta Knight making four Kirbys of equal strength because...DMK was NOT a loyal agent of Dark Mind! (Gasp!) He was a mole trying to sabotage his "master" by luring Kirby in there and quadrupling his strength, all under the guise of fulfilling Mind's goals.

(Then he got kinda into it because, well, he's a blood knight. But it makes his shattering all the more tragic if he did it knowing that he had "trained" these four Kirbys enough to stand a chance against Dark Mind... COUGH I have lots of Dark Meta Knight feels okay?!? Such a slept on character! Look at this good "bad orb!")

AHEM! (Pt2...)

As to what happens to the Kirbys, they could have quietly fused back together off-screen? (Or maybe Meta Knight used some ability of HIS to reunite them? Light splits, Darkness reunites??) or maybe before reaching home, they took off on their individual warp stars and each headed off to different planets/dimenions?

Maybe they're still around in Dream Land though?! Because you can play as "them"(ish) in Return to Dream Land! Or maybe those Kirbys are simply Kirby remembering his experiences with Dark Meta Knight and realizing, "Why split myself into 3 for a dance or 2 for golf when I can split myself into 4 again and go on another adventure!"

But your question about the spinoff Kirbys has me wondering, less about Fighters or Dream Buffet, but about Clash - now that Kirby Clash is canon!! (Or at least "canon-in-law" thanks to the existence of Magolor's Epilogue. Good news for Galacta Knight...!)

Because Team Kirby, right? You only ever control the main, pink Kirby in town, buying supplies, weapons, armor and also paying the DLC gods tribute to keep the Master Tree Crown from eating Magolor's Soul again and allowing him go home someday...

Is "Team Kirby" just one Kirby that, upon finding a baddie they want to beat, splits into four and goes for it, then comes back home because feeding four hungry Kirbys would put Kirby next on the wanted board?! Or are the four actually a real adventuring party?!

I mean, gosh, if you want to go really out there, maybe the Amazing Mirror Kirbys somehow found their way to the Clash dimension and formed Team Kirby WITH that dimension's unique Kirby!

Although there's no red Kirby in Clash so it couldn't be... Unless (!!!) the Kirbys can also switch their colors as they please?! Maybe Red Kirby got ahold of a spray can from Squeak Squad and decided to become Blue Kirby?! At this point, why not?!

In fact, big question... Can a Kirby who has been summoned by Kirby ("because it's fun") summon their OWN Kirbys?! 

Sad Poyo's Parade?!? 

(Only my sister will get that joke, probably... XD)

But THAT could be what the 1-up Kirbys you collect stand for. It's like Mario with the Double Cherries, maybe? When Kirby gets beat, they go down for a nap and spawn another Kirby to take over the fight. But...what happens to the Kirbys who all gave up...?

...Some questions were not meant to be answered.

To summarize, my thoughts on the different colored Kirbys are that they should be treated with as much levity as Kirby's creator treats them! If you want to assign personality traits and backstories to them, that sounds like fun! But, I wouldn't want anyone to worry too much about what is and isn't canonical about them, as Kirby themself probably wouldn't want anyone to trouble themselves over something as light-hearted as, oh, duplicating themselves!

...

...

...The real disturbing question about Dream Buffet is ARE THOSE THE REAL RIBBON, GOOEY, CHUCHU, and ELFILIN ON KIRBY'S HEAD AND HOW DO THEY FEEL ABOUT BEING SMOOSHED INTO CAKE ALL THE TIME?! (Gooey probably loves it, tbh.)

[mermaidsirennikita]

omg your description of the Ramin/Sierra rendition of point of no return scratched a brain itch I've had for years bc YES! That's literally why that song hits so hard for me! Do you have any book recs that would fit that sexually charged vulnerable angry energy? 🙏 or books where one of the pair is "monstrous" in some way?

Lol yes! I love that energy.

As a sweeping generalization, of course, I must recommend Kresley Cole's Immortals After Dark, because they will always give you that "scary man/seemingly fragile woman who's made of steel and the sexuality is WEIRD" energy.

I would especially recommend A Hunger Like No Other (Lachlain very literally takes Emma captive, dubcon and all, and has this resentful hate her/love her thing with her for a while, at the same time considering her His Precious, also he's been underground for 150 years and when they meet she tries to run and he pins her to the ground and goes "DO NOT RUN FROM ONE SUCH AS ME" and it's a banger).

Dark Needs at Night's Edge has a virgin vampire hero and a ghostly heroine who performed as a ballerina, imprisoned together, and he's fully crazy and also afraid of like, unleashing himself on her. It's soooo angsty and sad and horny. Take a shot every time Conrad licks a vampire fang because Kresley's vampires have fangs that lengthen when they're horny.

Lothaire, obviously, once again has a virgin kidnapped by a man who hasn't had sex in............ in Lothaire's case, like 2,967 years. Lothaire is super resentful of Ellie, while also being drawn to her, and the feeling is mutual. Another incredibly horny book, but what I really love is that he like... has to actually learn that there is a difference between possessing someone and loving them. Because in his heart, Lothaire is like, 11.

Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale LOL FULL. FUCKIN. STOP. A medieval romance between a teenage girl (like she's 17, y'all have been warned) and the man she met when she was six and he was sixteen and he dropped her off at her sister's place like so much garbage then went off to do more assassin things. Allegreto. Is. CRACKED. You can see him as a teen in For My Lady's Heart, and he's cracked there, too! Just a broken twisted man who likes to kill people and also submit to a good flogging from the woman he forced to marry him! I laugh and I cry. This is beautifully written and hot and absolutely will give you that "ingenue is mentored by her evil mentor but also has the ability to emotionally crush him" material. There are also so many scenes in this book where Allegreto is like, shaking while Elayne touches him in a sexual manner~, like soaked chihuahua shaking cock out and leaking like a faucet, and that's very Phantom imo. Heads up though the first sex scene in this book is noncon, though it is very "old school historical consummate the marriage she says no but she enjoys part of it and oh hey we've discovered he's into being hurt" noncon. He's also super dangerous and kinda monstrous!

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt. I bring this one up because again, villain romance; the heroine is not at all an ingenue, but the hero is a campy, ridiculous man who like, kills people while completely naked and wearing a bejeweled robe. But he's also, like, legitimately insane due to profound abuse he suffered as a child (heads up; sexual abuse, animal torture to psychologically abuse a child, the works) and as he falls in love with her this super intense vulnerable bond forms between them. This is very "he's physically beautiful but mentally wrecked" on the monster scale.

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt is a softer, less insane touch but may also give you that vulnerable angsty angry sexuality with the added benefit of a hero who also feels monstrous because of his looks. The hero has disfiguring smallpox scars and the heroine is his secretary with whom she forms a very Rochester/Jane bond, but he needs to marry a woman on his level and women won't have sex with him for free because of his face (I mean, he also doesn't try to be fair) so he goes to this fancy brothel. Heroine finds out and is pISSED because they had unresolved sexual tension and so she sneaks into the brothel wearing a mask and has sex with him by the dark of light.

Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli. YEAH. I'M PUTTING A DARK MAFIA ROMANCE ON THIS LIST. It's over the top, it's campy, it's ultimately about a man becoming obsessed with a woman and kidnapping her and keeping her on his yacht and making her his pet while knowing she's gonna bite back at any minute all because her brother-in-law mentally and physically tortured him to the point of his brain breaking???? He can't stand to be touched because of all the torture???? He gives her an ipad so she can sketch her clothing designs and then is like "and now it's time for my treat" and goes down on her? Lol the sex in this is wild at points, but there's also a fear of true intimacy in it, and Enzo is seen as a monster, and kinda sees himself as a monster. He's also CERTIFIABLY INSANE.

Priest by Sierra Simone. This isn't gonna give monstrous vibes, but the way the sex in this book plays with the sacred and profane, the way the hero struggles with it and feels like he should basically hide himself from this woman, the way he is! A Catholic priest! To whom she's confessing! Which is a bit of a conflict of interest! It's..... a lot.

Pippa and the Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway (my favorite Grace thus far) does have a scarred hero who wears a mask while running a criminal spy network populated by child soldiers he calls to him with a flute? The heroine is his former childhood friend and a widow whose husband SUCKED. SUCKED BALLS. And not in a fun way, and she and the hero reconnect--but he wasn't scarred when they knew each other before, and he spends a lot of the book hiding his face from her (which is funny, because he's also got an exhibitionist/voyeur streak for sure). When he does let her see, it's so ridiculously soft and vulnerable sad and I love it lots. She also sits on his face, which does give "now that is a face I'd be happy to sit on" vibes most romantic line in a superhero film let's talk about it

King's Captive by Amber Bardan is a truly fucking insane dark romance that I can't even begin to describe aside from saying that the book opens on the heroine's birthday party, where everyone has been gunned down and the hero is like "happy birthday baby" and then you cut forward like 3-5 years and he's kept her on an island and left her untouched and she wants to escape but she's also drawn to him and he makes these amazing steaks but he's also kinda scary and at one point he makes her a mixtape and she puts it on and masturbates knowing somehow that he's on the other side of the day, aware that she's masturbating, also masturbating.

Kathryn Ann Kingsley's Tenebris trilogy has a 1920s vibe and a plucky heroine who's like "I think my missing twin brother joined a cult" and asking his hot former professor "did you initiate my brother into a cult" while he's like "uh no but I did merge my body and soul with a Cthulu shadow monster that keeps wanting to come out and fuck you, which I want to do also" and she's like "neat". She did do a straight up Phantom of the Opera retelling or something. It did not work for me; it might work for you.