#they're suffering rn and I'm having a blast
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I somehow keep forgetting how absolutely insane I am about my rare pair until I'm actively writing them
#like I've written the most ao3 fics about them#one being the longest thing I've ever written#but the brainrot only fully sets in when im writing them#they're suffering rn and I'm having a blast#atropos speaks (fake) prophecies
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France is very close to have a fascist as prime minister.
Art by Léo Chérel
How so?
- Last month, we had the european parliament elections. The far right scored a crazy amount of seats. In France, the far right had the best score.
- So the pyroman that some people refer to as our president decided to dissolve our national assembly and run new elections right after the results.
- He gave the other political party not even a month to run a campain which is very anti-democratic. He hoped with so few time, the leftist wouldn't have time to unionize.
- Well, jokes on him because unionize they did. It's called the NFP for "Nouveau Front Populaire" as "New Popular Front". It's a reference to a party of 1936 created by Leon Blum, a famous socialist in France.
- But our medias are runned by crazy biollionaires like Bolloré who wants nothing more than to make the far right win. So there is a huge propaganda on our TV and radio about how the NFP is dangerous. I mean, they even argue than to protect the jews, the far right is better than the left (the far right party in France was made by some ex-Waffen-SS but never mind) and people believe it! A lot of people think NFP is antisemitic and the reason is: because they defended Palestine and called out the genocide that is actually going on (so it would mean that they're against Israel and so, against the jews. Yeah, I know). This is the level of misinformation our main medias are in.
- If the far right win this elections, the president will name a far right prime minister, because it is a tradition in France. And because Emmanuel Macron isn't the barrier against the far right that he claims to be.
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Now, how are you affected by this even if you're not french?
The RN (our far right party) is pro-Israel and don't condone them for the genocide they're perpetrating. In fact, they see it as legitimate defence and they will give money and weapons to Israel so they can keep going with their atrocities.
They are close to Vladimir Poutine (do I have to say more in this context with the war going on in Ukraine?)
They plan to desobey european laws. If the Europe try to interfere too much, they will certainly plan for a Frexit.
France is a member of a lot of international organisations in which they have a lot of power. Do I have to elaborate how devastating that would be?
If you're worried for disabled people, black people, LGBTQIA+ people, women, poor people accross the world know that they will suffer a lot more if the RN gain power.
The RN don't give a flying fuck about ecology.
-
How can you help?
Spread the word.
If you know french people, talk to them, tell them to go vote for NFP.
If they're not convinced, tell them to watch this videos :
How to recognize a fascist
How the RN is going to screw french economy
How the RN program is unrealistic and dangerous
How our medias are corrupted by the rich to make us think the far right is a viable option with the help of the Atlas Network
Tell them to read and/or listen to independent professional medias like Mediapart, Blast, Reporterre or Basta! and to support them if they can. Those medias did a lot of work to call out corrupted politicians. They don't have an agenda, they just want to inform. They're not owned by billionaires and so, can give informations as they see fit without any risk of professional threats from their boss. They are the most reliable sources of information in France and yet, too few people get informations from them.
Tell them to go unionize in syndicates, or to engage in a party or in an association because we need to fight now and after the elections and we can't stay alone in those fights. And while you're at it, do so as well because I'm sure you will need to fight in your own country. Times are tought for everyone. - Thank you very much for your attention and for your help.
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@cantfakethecake tagged me in a thing!
Last Song: Paint the Town Blue by Ashnikko - Arcane season 2 has me in a VICE GRIP
Favorite Color: I like all colors, but I'm partial to yellows and greens. My room has a dark green accent wall with lots of gold, so. Best of both worlds.
Last Book: I'm currently listening to Percy Jackson: The Last Olympian. I never got to finish the second series, but it's been YEARS so I needed a refresher. And I love these books so much, but I'm glad to be on the last Percy book because the narrator is not good. He just isn't. It's bad. I need them to re-record them because my god.
Last Movie: Miracle on 34th Street. The one with Mara Wilson. It's cute but I was profoundly irritated with the assertion the movie makes that Christianity is the default American religion, so idk if I'll be watching it again aaaany time soon.
Last TV Show: I am currently watching an episode of The Reluctant Traveler with Eugene Levy. It's like a docuseries documenting his adventures. I guess he's traditionally a terminal homebody so he started doing this to get out and see the world.
Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Spicy that's sweet. Like in Mexican candies. My favorite right now are tamarind flavor candies covered in tajin. It's so good.
Relationship Status: Single! It's been a few years since my last relationship, but honestly I'm okay with that. I had a LOT of growing to do that I didn't realize I had to do until a couple traumatic events occurred and I had some trauma responses rear their ugly heads. After several years of therapy I'm hitting the point where I'm ready to start dating again, but I'm weirdly in between jobs right now and I don't wanna be one of those unemployed people on a dating app. So I'm waiting till I'm in a more secure financial position so I can contribute to dates and being in a relationship.
Last Thing I Searched: "Man hand." I needed a drawing reference and my hands are not. Knuckley(?) enough. They look too...round, for lack of a better word.
Current Obsession: Pinterest has this fun new collage feature where you can collage images together and I've done several in the past few days. Which is nice cuz I've had some artist block, and I think it's helping me wanna do it in the 3D meat space again. I have weird feelings about it because art theft is rampant on Pinterest, but I'm not doing anything with them so I don't feel too bad. I'm just making them and sending them to friends if they're funny...which, y'know...most of them are because I can't take anything seriously.
Looking Forward To: I'm starting a tattoo apprenticeship (hopefully really soon). This is why I'm weirdly between jobs. I'm going crazy because I'm excited to start but it's not on my timeline rn so I have to be patient. But I have never been good at that. 🥲
Favorite Drink: BAJA BLAST ME, CAP'N
Song Playing on a Loop in Your Head: Heaven Help Us by My Chemical Romance
Current Favorite Character: Ambessa Medarda. Again, Arcane has a hold on me and Ambessa is tall and muscular and maybe a little mean but it's okay because I support women's rights and wrongs 😌
Fun Activity You Would Like to Get Into: Honestly I wanna learn some sort of martial art. Boxing, kickboxing, jiu jitsu etc...I wanna hit someone and/or get hit. Like a normal person does.
Last Video Game: Dragon Age: The Veilguard. I'm on my second playthrough and I so far have really, really enjoyed it. It's not perfect, but it's fun. That's all I care about.
Last Comic/Graphic Novel: Oh it was either The Adventure Zone: The Suffering Game or a graphic novel I backed on Kickstarter a while ago about Artemisia Gentileschi. I can't remember the title right now, but it's lovely.
I'm shite at remembering usernames so if you see this and wanna do it, tag me so I can see!
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This fandom is becoming insufferable because some fans of certain ccs can not handle anyone having a slightly negative opinions of their character or story.
Sorry if this upsets anyone but it's so obvious with BBH and Roier fans rn (which is so funny because those two fan bases are ripping into each other atm on twitter hmmm...) Fans of these ccs and characters need to understand thAT MULTIPLE things can be true at once. q!roier can be going through an extremely emotionally distressing time and not trust the new eggs/want to open himself up to being hurt again leaving him unsure of how to navigate this situation AND be neglecting/abusive towards Pepito. Just like q!BBH can be suffering with some awful side effects from the nuclear blast AND be held accountable for things by other islanders that they are upset or hurt by. Nuanced conversations about stories and characters are fun and interesting, it's so boring to see people just blindly defend characters all the time.
Also people are allowed to just straight up not like a character lmao like nobody is obliged to love a character just because you personally do. There's characters in the QSMP that I adore that i've seen people mischaracterise or talk about disliking and I'm like "awh that's a bummer I guess but oh well" and just get on with posting about them. It's such a waste of your time and energy to feel the need to excuse every action of a character you like anytime someone expressed a dislike towards something they've said or done JUST LET PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OPINIONS.
Yeah, I agree with you. It's very annoying, which is why my approach now is just don't bother with these characters. No matter which gray direction they go, no one will treat as such, the fans I mean, and if some character do, they're crucified.
That's why I feel so bad for Bagi, because every time she dares to give an opinion about Roier or Cellbit, no matter how sensible and true that opinion is, she gets a wave of hate immediately. They twist everything she says. ccBagi should do the RP she wants, but I can't help but think it was an awful decision to get involved with these two, who are easily the most popular characters. Because she can't win ever, even if she's doing everything for them. It's also the reason I'm refraining to go any further in that Roier and Pepito topic, if it was about another character maybe I'd be interested to discuss, but I know better lol
Did you know some Roier's fans hate Pomme to this day because she asked Cellbit why he was putting mines everywhere since she was worried about her siblings' lives?
Sadly some characters are simply "untouchable" if comparable to others. X character can do the same very action that Z character did, but it will be perceived wildly differently by the fandom.
Tumblr can be annoying too sometimes, but it's quite chill compared to everywhere else. Which is why I bother to discuss or give my opinion here, but I still don't want to get a headache discussing the morality of the actions from popular characters.
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tagged by @kukiyuuri ur so sweet ty for the tag <3
ONE. Are you named after anyone?
*Office stare* whatever gave u that impression? :3c
yea my queer ass swiped Roxas' name as my own. I had a major identity crisis after leaving a cult a decade ago so it kinda felt fitting to pick the name with his own history with cults & identity issues hehe
2. When was the last time you cried?
couple days ago, tho I have a very hard time crying anymore. thaaaat's probs not good ^^;; I used to be a huge crybaby.
3. Do you have kids?
thankfully not. I'm enough work as is tyvm
4. What sports do you play? have you played?
I played street hockey with my neighbors quite a bit growing up, tho it was rather short-lived when they suddenly had a problem with playing with a girl (boy do I have news for them). in high school I joined the tennis team. I wasn't stellar at it but I had a blast. wish there were more opportunities to play but that requires other ppl wanting to play.
these days I've been reconnecting with my childhood love of rollerblading. I'm close to being as good as I used to be which is so exciting cuz there's so much I never mastered! so I'm about to cross over into new territory!
5. Do you use sarcasm?
what's sarcasm? ovo
6. What is the first thing you notice about people?
looking at the world thru an artist's lens, I notice things like posture, expression, body language first. which can tell u a lot about a person in the moment without a word being spoken.
7. What's your eye color?
blue! I think they're turning gray as I get older which is kinda cool but also a little sad.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
depends on my mood; both are good. so long as the story is told well anything goes really.
9. Any talents?
I suffer from the good at the arts but bad at everything modern society deems useful disease. my main talent is probs drawing, writing coming second (if I ever get the spoons to do it again). I'm also decent at singing with my long history with choir & leading worship services.
10. Where were u born?
the most boring place on earth -- the US Midwest. Siri, play "Sidewalks" by Story of the Year.
11. What are your hobbies?
a lot of my free time lately has been getting back into studying languages. I'm mostly focused on Japanese atm but I'm also at an intermediate level in German & conversational in ASL.
I game quite a bit too, primarily retro games. *screaming crying throwing up that PS2-era is now considered retro* seldom do I play things upon release except of KH.
oh, I'm also a casual fashion doll collector (mostly Barbie & Monster High). old media as well (vhs, retro games, music, etc). lost media & preservation of the arts in general really interests me.
I play guitar a bit too but lol I suck at it.
other hobbies previously touched on in earlier q's include drawing, skating, singing & writing. :3c
12. Do you have any pets?
I have a kitty! she's a dilute calico & a huge diva cuz she knows she's gorgeous. she's loud af just like me & loves talking to her fave humans in the sassiest tone possible.
13. How tall are u?
not tall enough. 165cm
14. Favorite subjects in school?
German (easily my best subject), art & English.
15. Dream job?
I've been thinking a lot about circling back to an old dream job. something utilizing my knack for picking up languages. maybe interpreting or teaching? I'd really like to go back to school so I can maybe have a decent shot at something overseas. where? I'm still deciding. being trans kinda complicates it a bit. with that in mind & having several instances of homelessness this past decade I've concluded the US isn't a viable place for me to continue living. I have a unique opportunity to rebuild rn & I intend to utilize it. even if that means allowing my art to return to being just a hobby.
ahh! sorry I'm totally ending this on a bummer note huh? uhh uhh... puppies! think of puppies!! & kitties!!!
anyway, I'll tag uhh... whoever wants to do this? >w<; u can obvi say I tagged ya.
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Hi, I just wanted to scream at you for how amazing your writing is!!! It should be illegal for it to be this good! I read your fma a hop, skip, and a jump away series a couple of months ago (which i finished in about 3 days) and immediately bookmarked it and I'm still thinking about it months later! Its taking everything in me not to reread it again so soon, I'm serious! It lives in my head rent free these days. I have also read your fma an incomplete guide to parenting a couple days ago and I literally just finished your fma giants in the forest, but I had no idea it was you who wrote it until I finished the story and was looking through your previous works, then it all started to add up, which lead me here because I just love your writing so much and I had to let you know! You hit all of the characters right on the nose, they don't feel written, the feel like they're real breathing, talking, people. I feel like I'm watching this happen in real time, or like I'm watching a movie just because your writing makes everything feel so alive and smooth! I'm impressed with the banter between Roy and Ed, it just felt to realistic and natural (and quite funny too). It felt like you had a lot of fun writing giants in the forest, and I know it was a lot of fun (and heartache and pain and suffering) reading it! Now that I have found your other works, I am going to have go find out some way to pace myself so I don't repeatedly stab myself with amazingly well written angst and pain. Thank you so much for sharing your writing! You are amazing!! If I could, I'd give you infinity Kudos <33
AAAAAAA A AAAAAAAAAAA
Dude i dont even know what to say like thank you??? I’m so so glad that my fics have been able to connect with you that much holy wow
Character writing is something i alway agonize over but am ultimately pretty proud of/ i think im good at it so its. Very nice to know its enjoyed. To know like ppl NOTICE the details and different voices gaghjhgdh makes my brain go brrr
Its been a while since I wrote Giants in the Forest but I remember having an absolutely BLAST writing the dialogue with Ed and Roy because their dynamic of “i hate you so much youre so annoying but also I trust you” is just so fun ur honour theyre both the worst
Im just babbling rn i guess im trying to say thanks too many words cause i wanna articulate how sweet this is to hear. Youre a gem my dude thank you
#cries a little bit#lays down and screams#in a good way tho i swear#youre very kinda im gonna explode#glad u enjoyed my endless fma rambling shfisjhfjd the hyperfixation is real#i need a tag for asks so bam#cece writes
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and at last, the post that maybe three people maximum have been waiting for...
em's comfort retro rally videos: a masterlist!
in a much-needed return to this blog's roots, and as an antidote to all motorsport- and life-related chaos, i now present to you: the first edition of em's favorite retro rally videos!
general disclaimer/info: these videos mainly come from the group B era of the world rally championship (wrc), which generally speaking was in the '80s. i am only human, so expect a lot of bias toward my personal favorites...which will become very apparent as you read this list hehe. also i'm not even gonna pretend to be an expert on this or anything. a lot of these are literally just based on Vibes
table of contents
i. my top 5 rally coverage videos
mainly coverage for television, recorded on VHS and uploaded to YouTube by some truly incredible people
ii. honorable mentions
not rally coverage, but retro rally videos nevertheless
often documentaries, mini-doc features, interviews
for all videos, i have indicated the language (most are in english fyi); if any links fail or videos disappear, send me an ask or DM and i'll remove the culprit/find an alternative link.
and now, onward!
(TW for occasional flash photography in many of the night sequences of the videos, as well as a gif included in this post)
i. my top 5 rally coverage videos
in which my bias toward audi sport, mouton/pons, mikkola, toivonen, and vatanen are put on blast for all to see 🥴 i am not an expert in anything i am just very good at research and a whore for aud—[SNIPED]. for the sake of brevity, i narrowed my favorites down to 5. maybe another time i will share all the rest!
also, a general note about the commentary: sometimes, the commentary around michèle and fabrizia can get... weird. keep in mind, they were the most prominent female team partnership around that time, and the first to nearly clinch a wrc wdc, and to modern ears, the commentators really didn't know how to act around them. personally, it wasn't horrible for me, i just ignored the weirder bits, but i understand if others might find it off-putting. also for the sake of your sanity don't read the comments.
5. Rally of the 1000 Lakes, 1984 | finland
link: overall coverage (eng)
podium: vatanen/alén/toivonen (full final results)
comments: this was definitely a rally for most of audi sport's drivers to forget: bar stig blomqvist, who came quite close to the podium finishers with a 4:14:01 to henri toivonen's 4:12:57! both hannu mikkola and michèle mouton had to retire from the race, which may lead you to wonder: why does this rank among my favorites? well, it's always fun to watch group b rally cars sailing through the air against picturesque scenery, and this video also contains an intriguing (at least for me!) look at the scrutineering process, with drivers at their most casual.
owie :( they were fine though!
4. Lombard RAC Rally, 1981 | britain
link: overall coverage (eng)
podium: mikkola/vatanen/blomqvist (full final results)
comments: hannu winning by 11 whole minutes even after rolling his car in the middle of the forest is actual legend behavior! anyway this was michèle's first wrc outing in britain, and even though she and fabrizia had to retire, they still did quite well, consistently running high in the leaderboards after the first few stages. and that's considering the fact that michèle had a bad cold for much of the rally and had to ask fabrizia to drive the car to service park for her at one point bc she was so tired. which fabrizia did... with a pencil in her mouth. lot of big names in one video—also, jean todt makes an appearance as a co-driver!
shamelessly poached off of one of my text post edits
3. Marlboro Safari Rally, 1983 | kenya
link: overall coverage (eng)
podium: vatanen/mikkola/mouton (full final results)
comments: ok can i just say how stunning the video presentation is?? the opening sequence is just!!! the shots of the wildlife! the sprinting giraffes! wow! anyway the visual of drivers in deck chairs just tickles me for no reason, and michèle please tell me what you ask for at the hairdresser's and also where you got that orange blouse (this is obviously not just specific to this rally, she always eats and leaves no crumbs). this was michèle's first entry and only finish in kenya (and of course it was a podium mwah). it was also her last wrc entry in the A1 quattro, as she switched to the A2 for the rest of her program in the '83 season. also this is one of my favorite podium pictures ever.
lksdjffnnkd there's almost too much to unpack... fabrizia somehow surviving in high waist jeans in a hot car... michèle's do-it-yourself shorts... this podium picture was the subject of a very frantic video chat conversation between myself and a friend at 2am a few months ago
2. Rallye de Portugal, 1982 | portugal
links: short recap (eng) | overall coverage 1, stuck in the middle of two other rallies. timestamps in descrip. (eng) | overall coverage 2, very vibey with cool music (ita... also peep walter röhrl speaking italian)
podium: mouton/eklund/wittmann (full final results)
comments: GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH AAAA! michèle's first podium of '82 being a win? this rally being the one where there's footage of her going shopping with fabrizia afterward? (more on that later) them winning by 13 whole minutes? and that's not even considering THEE most poetic victory ceremony of all time! in fact let me talk about that bc the racing and the win aside, that's why it's so high up on my list! literally poetic cinema! it's night, they're standing on top of the car and floodlit and surrounded by cheering crowds but they may as well be the only ones there in their own little world, laughing at each other and barely even having to look to each other when they're raising their hands—like god! shut up! we get it you're besties 😭
i_just_think_theyre_neat.png
and now... last but certainly never least...
1. Lombard RAC Rally, 1982 | britain
link: overall coverage (eng)
podium: mikkola/mouton/toivonen (full final results)
comments: firstly, if you were to ask me about my dream podium, this would be it. hands down, across all series of motorsport, my comfort podium would be hannu, michèle, and henri in any order. (there's such a cute picture of them from this rally on pinterest, standing in order on a staircase. henri is not looking at the camera because he is laughing at something michèle is saying and it's such a Vibe but i cannot find it wah). the battle for second between michèle and henri ran down to literally the last stage, and their times are separated by seconds, which is just wild to me. the context of this rally deserves another post, which i honestly don’t have the energy to make rn, but just take my word for it that it threatens to destroy me if i think about it too hard! anyway this is just such an awesome rally and i’ve watched this video so many times haha
i love this rally so much that i actually had a character in a story i was writing attend the ceremony captured in this picture as a small child and made it a formative moment in her life. no, there is nothing wrong with me.
ii. honorable mentions
(is it obvious who my faves are? yikes)
'Group B - Avec Michele Mouton' (eng) - taken from a longer feature presentation about group b, a segment specifically about michèle. a friend once described its vibes as ‘a synth wave edit of an 80s anime set in a cyberpunk world about racing’
'1983 Audi Sport National Rally with Michele Mouton' (eng) - in which michèle takes journalist sue baker as a co-driver for a spin in an A1 and a rally win. fun behind-the-scenes video
'Intervista a Fabrizia Pons, la Regina delle Note' 1, 2, 3 (ita) - very thorough interview which is mostly fabrizia telling all sorts of stories, including the very entertaining story of how she found out she was going to be michèle’s co-driver. also what a badass title
'2008 Otago International Classic Rally' (eng) - THE BESTIES REUNITE THE BESTIES REUNITE!!! michèle and fabrizia reunite for a rally that fabrizia convinced michèle to join, they suffer some problems but there are plenty of wholesome bestie moments to be had
'Michele Mouton hurls Group B Audi Quattro up Goodwood hill' (eng) - i mean, self explanatory. the sound of the chirping tires? asmr could never. very short watch if you want a quick pick-me-up
'1990 Louise Aitken-Walker feature' (eng) - a video featuring a female rally driver from scotland and her point-scoring run at the rallye monte -carlo. i am convinced that louise was john finnemore’s inspiration or at least an influence for the character of linda fairbairn. no my hat is not made of tin foil what are you talking about
hannu rocketing around michigan back in 2017 (eng)
hannu flying around goodwood in 2015 (eng)
sometimes i listen to fabrizia's recent onboards (yes, she's still at it!) and this one is one of my favorites, from 2016 (ita)
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I may be mean, but I DO have empathy and sympathy.
Well, it's 5 in the morning and I'm wide awake. I was told not to respond to all the mean things people said about me on the internet, especially when I'm in an angry frame of mind, well I didn't listen. And it didn't make me feel any better. I erased them eventually. Now that I am in a calm state of mind and I've been taking my meds dilegently, I think I can explain my feelings without anyone getting too offended. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I can't force you to agree, but fact is this is how I feel. Sorry.
I deleted my Facebook recently. Writing my thoughts impulsively or when I am triggered was pretty much always a habit, starting with my Xanga in like 2005. It comes from extreme anger, dispair, desperation and just crying for help. I recently got kicked out of my band because of this habit. It reminded me that not many people like me and it's mainly because of my posts. People think they know me just because they read my posts, but they're wrong. So wrong. Then they think they have the right to spread rumors about how I am a terrible person. It happens so much I actually believe people when they call me a bitch, an asshole, an attention whore, trash and just an overall shitty person. Just because of my posts, especially the mean ones. I FUCKING HATE IT when people say it's not my bipolar disorder, I am just being an asshole. Well I'll tell you all that I take full responsibility for my actions and live with the consequences once I realize I'm wrong. Ask my family and my boyfriend. I can be an asshole when I'm manic, depressed or feeling normal, so I'm not gonna blame the blasting people on facebook on my bipolar disorder. I get psycho sometimes. Idk. But you all come off judging me like you have a PhD or something. NO ONE can tell me I'm being an asshole and it's not caused by my bipolar except for my psychiatrist and maybe my counselor. Not you.
Yes, I regret my posts that either blast people out of anger or expose my desperation and dispair. I'll admit it, I fucked up time after time. Consqeuently, I am embarrassed, humiliated and my sorrys don't mean anything anymore because people experience my bullshit all the time. My sincere apologies are outdated and I get it. These are the consequences.
I am envious, I am angry, I am insecure, then I'm cocky, I'm no role model. I don't want people to believe that what I do is okay. I take my own risk when I post what I am feeling, but I should write a book, not put it on facebook. People don't care and when they do it bothers them I guess because mental health is a touchy subject. On rare occasions, I have someone message me saying thank you for posting how I feel because they are reminded they're not alone. That makes me feel good. Imagine if I wrote a book instead? 😌
As for putting people on blast. I will carry that burden for years to come. I dug my own grave. My reputation is kind of screwed up here in the valley. Either people don't care or people are talking shit about me left and right. I'm aware. I sometimes get episodes of paranoia because of it. I go to a gig and I cant tell who hates me and who's against me. Who read my posts and who didn't. I carry a knife with me because I feel like people are out to get me. I'm always peaking out the window and making sure my cutians are shut. The anxiety is horrible. I wouldn't wish it upon anybody, not even the people I've blasted. So yes, I do suffer as a result of my actions because I have some empathy and some sympathy. I am not a sociopath. I have empathy towards people with mental illness. I have sympathy when I am not angry toward those I've hurt. I am sorry, but like I said, apologies mean nothing now. You could say what I've done is unforgivable. I understand the error of my actions. I asked a past psychiatrist (cause I've had many) if I have borderline personality disorder instead but after much evaluation, she insisted I have bipolar disorder 1, not a personality disorder. This means I have some control over my actions so people should not feel sorry for me. Bipolar is treatable and my 6 medications are working just fine for me rn. I'd like to try cbd oil one day though. 🤔
I am currently seeing a counselor about my anger issues. I'm working to improve myself now that I'm aware of my errors. I started out by deleting my Facebook, but I still blast a little on instagram but not as much I think. Idk. I will have to fix that. I want to be a way better person, mostly for my music career, my family and myself. If I fix it, I'll be happier. And who doesn't want to be happy? 🥰
Thanks for reading
Ileana xo💋
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