#they're still in the 'bat HRT will absolutely indisputably fix me' phase

[thegreatyin]

let's talk the forbidden yin OC lore. it's not actually forbidden it's just OC lore i've never laid out in detail before. under the cut because it's long and im also tagging this as fallen london spoilers because it's absolutely dipping into some semi-significant deep lore info that may-or-may-not be also absolutely incoherent if you don't know it already. and also it has major spoilers for the end of the "cricket, anyone" ES, because the scoundrel is kind of a walking spoiler for that if you start trying to look at them under a microscope in-depth.

okay, see.

the scoundrel's motivation for pursuing the power ending of heart's desire is that they genuinely, earnestly believe that becoming a space bat will fix all of their problems. like. all of them. forever. they won't have to care about human squabbles, attachments, needs or wants, all of that stuff. they won't need to feel guilt when they're a greedy and capitalistic inhuman monster! they won't need to feel empathy when all they care about is their hoard and their own survival! being human is a curse and a blight upon their person and bat HRT will fix them!!!!

now this is, obviously, an absolutely batshit insane worldview that is disproven by literally everything we know about the masters. but she doesn't know that. and she refuses to acknowledge that.

because if she acknowledges that, it means everything she's done was for naught, and she's ruining herself for nothing. it already struggles to recognize itself in the mirror. it already can't stand taking off its bandages (or tackling its own raging dysmorphia). going through the entire journey to become a curator, only to look in a mirror and realize it's been a worthless and self-destructive venture this entire time?

it would break them. utterly.

which is exactly what happens at the end of their character path, far-off into the future. they're no longer human. they're no longer the scoundrel. they don't know who they are anymore.

and so they break. utterly.

one catastrophic identity crisis and probably rather literal explosive breakdown later, mr cards flees the bazaar. it flees the neath. it flees everything. it tries desperately to reconcile its fucked-up belief system with reality. if losing their humanity didn't work- if it only made them feel worse- then obviously it's being a master that's wrong, right?

(sidenote: the scoundrel's lore runs off the headcanon that mr wines was a judgement before it was a master, because i agree with that idea and i think it's fun. the scoundrel was also directly inspired in-universe by *vaguely gestures at all of wines during cricket*. this is not a good thing.)

this is only one step in the process. they're still human. they're still horribly, disgustingly human. they need to do more. they need to climb higher. they need to climb as high as they possibly can. then, and only then, will they be content.

and so they flee to the high wilderness, and resolve to do just that.

and, well.

there's only so many spots on the chain they can climb to. why waste their time scurrying around in the dirt when they can claw straight up to the highest spot of them all?

(this is, of course, as far as we know, absolutely impossible and also maybe even more insane than the "bat HRT can fix me" thing. but don't tell the scoundrel that.)

(they wouldn't be able to handle it.)

For the Scoundrel it could be Judgement.

judgement works primarily because my original idea for them was.

well.

okay it's complicated.