#they're not “angry” they're traumatized children with PTSD

[webshood]

making Dick's character be all about hooking up, cheating, being aggressive (angry Robin), using drugs and sexualizing him, while using the excuse that you're trying to escape the "eldest daughter" and "therapist" tropes, is not only disgusting, but racist too

y'all love to claim Dick's rroma heritage, but refuse to research about it and fail to recognize the racism and stereotyping you commit

[hockstetters-overbite]

HCs for Henry as a kid? angst and fluff are also very welcome :)

AUGHHH FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN WANTING TO SHARE MY HEADCANONS FOR A SOFT SQUISHY LIL TINY HENRY LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!

Ofc TWs: Abuse mentions, Lots of yapping about Henry's mom, Butch being a shitty dad after his wife leaves and ik having to grow up too early hits hard for a lot of people so I'll throw that in there too!

The rest of the Bowers Gang besides Patrick and book characters that didn't make the cut for 2017 will be mentioned since I'm a firm believer that Belch, Henry and Vic were childhood friends, 'specially Henry n Vic!

Before his mom left, Henry was definitely a very affectionate child, as are most children. He was very sweet to his mother, cuddling up to her when she would tuck him in and read stories to him and frequent hugs as well!

He was definitely a kid who loved making mud-pies, playing with cars and bugs, that kinda stuff! That's probably why he got on so well with Belch as young kids

Believe you me, Henry used to think Butch was the most awesome and strongest man in the world before the abuse, drinking and PTSD took hold of him and he did really want to spend time with and bond with his father

After Henry's mom left, Henry and Butch became pretty distant from each other aside from Henry needing to take care of Butch since Butch is barely capable of taking care of himself

Henry also stopped calling Butch "dad" when Butch started being more abusive and drinking because he no longer saw Butch as that decent, even good father that he used to be

Henry used to bake with his mother when she was still around

Adding onto that last point, Henry's mom used to make cherry pies the most often and now Henry cannot eat cherry pie without feeling at least a little bit bittersweet about his mother leaving

Henry doesn't blame his mom for leaving, he only wishes that he could've gone with her and made sure she's at least somewhere that she's safe. He feels angry that she didn't take him with her but he doesn't blame her.

Henry, Belch and Victor are all childhood friends because their mom's were friends, Henry's mom and Victor's mom's were a lot closer then Belch and Henry's mom's but Vic and Belchs mom's knew each other so that's how Belch and Henry met

When Henry was a very little kid and still looked up to his father, he used to want to be a cop when he was older just like Butch

Henry was definitely a mama's boy though he'll never admit it to anyone

The thing he misses most about his mom is her home-cooked meals, he tries his hardest to cook when he's older and stuck taking care of his dad but in his mind he can never beat his mom's cooking and he longs to be able to taste her cooking one more time one day even though he knows that day will never come

These were definitely awesome to write! A lot of these stem from how I think Henry would've acted before all of his traumatization and I just think him, belch and Vic knew each other for a long, long time (especially Vic) so that's why they're all so close!

Definitely keep the requests coming ya'll because writing these is honestly a really refreshing way to destress after school!

[hussyknee]

You haven't answered my questions, you didn't respond to the posts I linked and you continue to not back up your arguments.

Abuse is defined by effect, not intent. Making neurodivergent and traumatized people question their reality and being lied to when they ask if it's real, and being out of the loop in the middle of a site-wite illusion that people are trying to manipulate real-world databases for, is in fact abuse and can trigger psychosis. This is explained in the posts Iinked.

You can be socially, systemically and institutionally gaslit. Medical gaslighting, for example, is the leading cause of PTSD in disabled and chronically ill people. Disinformation for the purpose of manipulating narratives is called political gaslighting and media gaslighting (be careful googling this because the right-wing has misappropriated the term).This all comes under epistemic gaslighting, an important sociological phenomenon and social justice term. The idea is not without critics, but here's another article that argues for its use.

And as I have said elsewhere: wider social gaslighting is a key component of interpersonal abuse and victimisation. Partners, children, employees, students, disabled people – people see them being abused or evidence of their abuse and trauma and then minimise it, dismiss it, or pretend like they didn't see anything. It makes you question your memories, experiences and feelings. Worse, most people who do this don't intend to harm you; they're just conditioned into a set of beliefs and worldview that makes abuse invisible to them. It's what makes it so hard to acknowledge abuse to yourself and self-validate your own hurt and fear, because it involves understanding that you are seen as acceptable collateral to your community. As social animals realizing that our tribe won't protect us is extremely traumatic and it's very difficult to ever feel safe again.

It's disingenuous to compare the use of gaslighting to the way the word "triggered" has been mocked, misappropriated and devalued by ableists. Nobody is mocking or devaluing the word here. This kind of humour – pranks, "bits" and anything that involves tricking unconsenting parties (as opposed to say, a magic show where people want to be tricked) and the general manipulating of narratives – necessarily crosses boundaries and toys with people's trust in themselves and others. There is an inherent danger and harm in this kind of lying. That's not to say that this kind of humour is always bad and wrong, just that the line between good-humoured fun and bullying can be subjective and easily crossed over. The ability for people to find the truth, tap out or opt out entirely of our shenanigans is the very real line between annoying and cruel. And even then, there are people who might be too afraid of being mocked or lied to that won't ask, and people whose previous gaslighting trauma is triggered by this version of it.

I would gently ask you why you're so upset and opposed to the idea that you might be engaging in something that has the same consequences, or some version of it, for people that you have yourself experienced. It's very important to understand that gaslighting can be inadvertent. The social gaslighting through conditioning I've mentioned earlier, and also clinging to your personal narrative and insisting only your reality and memories are valid are the most common ways we abuse without meaning to.

But aside from all of that, there are many things people do that may cause inadvertent harm to others. We live such wide and waried realities that it's impossible not to infringe on each other's boundaries when living in the crush of humanity. They are allowed to be angry about it and you are allowed to respect that but keep enjoying the things you do, in as ethical a manner as possible. We are not responsible for how others experience the world, but we do have an obligation to be responsible and minimise harm to the vulnerable by practising informed consent. It's not black and white. It's just that there is a line, and it must be seen and adhered to.

As of this writing, Goncharov has been added and removed from the Martin Scorsese filmography Wikipedia page 7 times.

[thedamageofherdays]

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

--

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

--

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

--

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

--

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

[f1-disaster-bi]

Headcanon request for your mafia au: I would like to know more about Daniel and Max separately as well as a couple (?). Also: congratulations on your master graduation :D

Thank you so much <3

I always regret I don't have more space in the main au to talk about Max and Daniel but here we go <3

Max

Max had a traumatic childhood

His mother was killed in front of him at a young age, and he was threatened that it would happen him if he didn't behave

His father was right hand of a big mafia family and Max expected to follow his footsteps

Except his father got too power hungry, and was put down when Max was twelve and Max went on the run

No one cared about a missing pre-teen, and Max had enough sense to get out of the city he was in

He was fourteen when he met Nico and Nico's dad; homeless, skinny and angry

He slept with his bed pressed against the door and a knife in hand for the first four months he was with them

Nico and his father were the first family he had ever known that didn't hurt each other

Nico's dad puts him in therapy, and it works wonders

Outside of working as an hitman, Max works in a shelter for runaway teens and volunteers teaching sports at a community centre

He went to university and studied social care but found it too triggering so working at a shelter allows him to help while taking care of himself

He has a scar across his chest from where his father slashed at him one night when Max was fussy at a dinner with the family they worked for

Daniel

Daniel grew up on a farm

Normal happy family and childhood

He enlisted in the military with his bestfriend (Michael) straight out of school and ended up on a special team

He suffers PTSD from multiple tours

He was a gifted marksman

When he got back, after Michael had an injury and their team were mostly killed in a blast that injured Michael, there was no coverage for vets

Daniel starting picking up contracts to make money to pay for surgery for Michael and help the families of his teams

He also used the money to go back to college and study physiotherapy so he could start a business geared towards helping vets at low prices

He uses contract money for hitmanning to fund his business so he can take care of people the system failed like Michael and his remaining team members

Daniel and Max

They meet when they both take the same contract for kill

However both wear masks to protect identity and use voice modifiers, thus bitching at each other without ever hearing each others voices

Max goes to Nico to bitch about Daniel poaching his kill, and asking if he knows him, Nico just laughs and tells him it happens and that Dan is just that good

Daniel goes home to bitch to his pets about the 'cunt that tried to botch my kill'

They don't meet again....until Max's shelter runs a career day and Daniel comes in to talk about physiotherapy

He immediately starts flirting with the pretty man with three children hanging off him and teenager glaring at Dan for looking at Mr Max

They end up meeting more when Daniel offers to help doing physio for some of the runaways with disabilities and injuries pro bono

Dan ends up asking Max out while they're out for coffee one day and Max just stops because its been a month of lunch and coffee dates and he already thought they were dating

Meanwhile both are torn because they may have some feelings for the other asshole hitman and feeling guilty

It takes six months and Max accidently shooting Dan on a job before they realise that they were the other hitman the entire time

[neiviele]

You guys say this stuff sounds like eugenics, but I say you both sound incredibly culturally insensitive and dismissive of the importance of culture and of its connection to dissociation.

Well multiple people, including an ethnic minority, have noticed it, so I don't think it's an entirely invalid concern?

I think you're overemphasizing the role of collectivism and positivity towards dissociative phenomena in other cultures, and making them out to be the thing that allows non-pathological identity alteration. Culture can be important for various aspects of dissociation and the way it presents, but it's not the determining factor for the ability.

It's why adults in western society, can't develop DID after the sense of self has formed. It's just not possible once it's come together (I swear to god, if one more person links me the Veteran article after I've already broken it down, I'm going to scream). They can develop a milder presentation--BPD, DPDR, PTSD, even CPTSD

The formation of DID is still different from how non-pathological or spiritual identity alteration would form. DID is a trauma-based disorder that occurs when a child is still developing, so any child with DID will have been switching between ego states and identities as a necessity from an early age, and the amnesia would occur to block off any negative or traumatic memories. I agree, an adult will not develop this. But children in dissociation-positive or collectivist societies aren't necessarily practicing switching in and out of identities like this either, so I can't see how either positive views on dissociation or collectivism would enable someone to actually retain the ability without practice. Being raised in a non-Western culture doesn't mean you'll automatically have access to those views or practices as a child. You might know about them due to being raised in said culture, but some aspects may be limited to you until you reach adulthood.

No, they can't. The ability to fully participate in some spiritual and cultural practices means going back generations of practitioners.

That's not really true. Assuming the religious or spiritual culture isn't closed off to outsiders, if you're allowed in and identity alteration is an aspect of it, anybody should psychologically/spiritually be able to do it (individual talents and differences notwithstanding).

If it weren't possible, then spiritual subcultures like mediums wouldn't have been able to even form in the Western world. Mediums can have a tendency towards spiritual phenomena but they're typically not raised a medium, and they generally don't receive any sort of guidance until after they find the community. Most in this study were Caucasian Westerners and were raised Christian before becoming spiritual but not religious. Only 53% have family members who have experienced similar phenomena, yet they're all able to channel and be possessed by spirits.

Which I hope Sophie looks at. Because no. They don't get to claim it, and it's offensive that any endo would try to claim it.

Endogenic is not an exclusive label, you know. Someone can be part of another culture, experience that culture's spiritual phenomenon and also label themselves as endogenic, for a variety of reasons.

The lack of recognition of these differences is the problem here and went people are angry. It's things like when Sophie said that schizophrenia and imaginary friends are the same thing as DID/OSDD. I don't know how you could support her saying that.

You bring up differences as if you can almost always reliably verify this without a scan of some sort, or if there isn't already professional confusion between DID/OSDD, schizophrenia and imaginary friends due to the phenomena being similar/misidentified. They're not all the same thing of course, but there is going to be overlap simply because of this confusion. When it comes to her referencing studies on each and comparing/contrasting the two, I don't see an issue?

I've looked through her blog and so far I haven't seen her say they're the same thing, in fact I've seen her acknowledge there are differences. She just talks about the overlap. She'd also need to reference the studies for herself, tulpamancers, and endogenic systems since (depending on what is being discussed) scientific information from each may be relevant. Schizophrenia is going to be relevant when discussing tulpamancy, since both share the quality of hearing voices and/or hallucinations. DID/OSDD will be relevant when discussing switching. Imaginary friends will be relevant when discussing creating a headmate.

Using one of your examples-- racism and social stigmas that contribute to dissociation, you can't learn that.

Of course not. It would be a factor in how the dissociation (especially if it were trauma based) presented, but it and other social stigmas are not what gives someone the ability to engage in non-pathological/spiritual identity alteration.

The DSM isn't saying that cultural instances of possession are possible-- it's saying the opposite. It's saying that cultural instances of possession are not "systems" in same way people with DID/OSDD are. The DSM even says that it's referring to short term, non-recurrent or episodic instances of possession. But no one wants to listennnnn.

And a spiritual, non-disordered endogenic system (like a soulbonder) would also not be a system in the same way someone with DID/OSDD is. A system sure, but not a DID/OSDD system. If someone has spiritual beliefs (that are shared with a community) regarding fictional characters occasionally visiting their mind or body, and occasionally they take over, how is that any different from a person who has spiritual beliefs about spirits, and occasionally lets them take over their body? They both fulfill the short-term/episodic portion of the criteria, and they both have spiritual beliefs that are supported by their (sub)cultures.

You've brought up neurobiological differences, but mental health professionals generally don't scan your brain to make sure you're actually experiencing spiritual phenomena. They'll do it to rule out other illnesses and mental disorders, but they don't cross-check your brain against the brains of people from other cultures and decide based on that.

So I can't see how anyone can exclude one and not the other, without either deciding that certain (sub)cultures (such as cultures before X timeframe or with X type beliefs) are "real", or scanning everyone and deeming certain individuals who don't show the right neurology "fake/incorrect" regarding what they're claiming.

I don't know why you brought up this quote.

Actually, the paper the journal is sourcing is talking about multiplicity and identity alteration:

"Such experiences include amnesia, depersonalization, a sense of being more than one person, ability to block out pain, and auditory hallucinations."

"The Dissociative Experiences Scale is a 28-item, self report instrument for the measurement of dissociative experiences. It has a test-retest reliability of 0.84 and good split-half reliability and can discriminate subjects with multiple personality disorder from other diagnostic groups and normal control subjects"

"The degree of spontaneous dissociation in the general population is independent of all major socioeconomic factors other than age, including income, education, employment status, household size, importance of religion, and place of birth. This suggests that at least a component of spontaneous dissociation in the general population is due to endogenous factors rather than psychosocial experience. Any psychosocial factors stimulating dissociation appear to be distributed throughout the general population independently of the socioeconomic factors measured in this study."

"Therefore, it is likely that the norms for Winnipeg can be generalized to much of urban North America."

They want generational practitioners because their brains are going to work differently. Wow.

They did not say 'generational practitioners', they said spiritual practitioners, and the prior paragraphs don't imply that there's anything generational about the practices.

"This may be one crucial determinant of why some individuals are attracted to and become active participants in certain religious or healing practices. Someone who is highly hypnotizable or prone to dissociation is more likely to experience such practices as rewarding and have the sort of spontaneous and compelling experiences that lead to a conviction that something real and important has happened. This, in turn, will lead others to ratify their experience and may support their long term commitment to the tradition or launch them on a career as a healer or spiritual practitioner."

Yes, a practitioner will have different neurobiology, but the authors of this journal don't seem to be distinguishing between those who were raised in the culture and those who weren't.

Dance is not identity alteration. Trance is not possession. You're thinking generally and I'm thinking about normalized division of the sense of self.

You mentioned that a person could not learn identity alteration because their sense of self has solidified. I'm saying that these are all precursors to the actual phenomena of (spiritual or non-pathological) identity alteration. The pathways shouldn't close up once they're in use (which in these cases, they are) and I can see someone accidentally or purposefully getting to the point of identity alteration and switching via these avenues. It's not like Western society has determined the exact amount of music or types of hobbies you should indulge in to avoid a trance (and subsequently possession) state.

It's not going to be DID/OSDD, because you can't just decide to develop a dissociative disorder and you typically don't form one from non-stressful activities. It would be something similar to what mediums, trance channelers and others of that sort go through, because they use similar (if not the same) methods.

No, I don't believe tulpas are experiencing what I'm experiencing, and I don't think they're experiencing what the Hawaiians are experiencing, or what any of the other cultures are experiencing that I've already linked papers for. People not raised experiencing something can't magically mimic that experience in extreme ways.

Tulpamancers aren't experiencing DID/OSDD, the community makes that clear. You can't learn a dissociative disorder, and most people aren't trying to mimic a dissociative disorder. However, non-pathological identity alteration is not constrained to childhood in any manner akin to DID/OSDD, and I can't find any evidence supporting this view. Tulpamancers compared to spiritual communities have more similarities than differences, especially when it comes to learning the ability:

"We observe that some features of these cultural models appear to be shared across the different communities of mediums, tulpamancers, okomfo, evangelicals, and ayahuasca drinkers[...]That there is often talk of talent, often with the idea that all can do the task, but that some will be better at it, find that it comes to them more easily, or find that they learn more readily."

So apparently now we're eugenicists for...

Ah, supporting a cross cultural perspective of dissociation and acknowledging that being raised in a culture where dissociation is supported and encouraged has an effect on neurobiology, and that someone converting into that culture will lack specific functions of dissociation that they either grew out of or never had

in cultural contexts where absorption is a recognized skill that is used in socially valued ways, children will retain and strengthen their capacity for such attentional focus. Coupled with cultural knowledge and practices that allow or invite altered experiences of agency and control, this will lead to increased opportunities to experience dissociative phenomena like trance and possession.

Dissociative Experience and Cultural Neuroscience: Narrative, Metaphor and Mechanism

That's a bold claim to make

[colethewolf]

you do realize you're talking about a character who is a child (a teenager is still a child. a sixteen, seventeen years old is. still. a. child. and steven isn't even that old) who has suffered trauma after trauma after trauma and never received counselling. it wasn't as easy for steven as just talking it through with his family and even if he had they're not qualified to help hence him getting therapy at the end.

oh and since you're clearly not a fan of steven let me enlighten you: the kid is self sacrificing to a fault if he kept running off and basically suffered in silence (or you know whining and crying because apparently a CHILD wasn't handling their ptsd well enough for your taste) it's because he felt like if he did talk to anyone he would just make things worse. oh and jasper's shattering was an accident. he didn't murder her in cold blood (pt. 2)

oh and lastly i'm just gonna assume you either have never gone through a traumatic event (i'm talking traumatic enough to cause ptsd, you can go through something traumatic and not be diagnosed with ptsd) or you're the most unsympathetic survivor in the fucking universe. newsflash asshole there is no right or wrong way to deal with trauma, there is no such thing as a "perfect victim" sometimes you'll fuck up and hurt people you love while you're healing what's important is asking for help (pt. 3)

First, I just want to let you know that Steven is not a real person. He doesn’t make his own decisions. Everything that he does it written by the writers of the show....because he’s a cartoon. So the fact that you’re trying to pretend like I’m attacking some poor helpless PTSD sufferer/survivor of trauma is fucking hysterical, because Steven is a fucking CARTOON. He doesn’t feel. He’s not alive. Everything that he does/says is written by ACTUAL humans. And those ACTUAL humans, wrote his trauma story-line like shit. 

Second, if you want to play pretend and pretend like Steven is a real person, fine. I’m game. I’ll play along. So, Steven Universe finds out that his mother and his mother’s side of the family are actual nazis, who contributed to the actual death, enslavement, and torture of millions upon millions of people, partaking in genocide, slavery (the human zoo), and corruption. 

And instead of saying, “hey, nazis are bad”. Steven decides to befriend them, even though all of the trauma that he experienced was almost always directly connected to them OR to his mother’s actions. Instead of saying, “hey, I want nothing to do with these nazis, because they are having a serious negative impact on my mental and physical health, as well as the mental/physical health of those around me”, he continues to chase after them and fix all of their problems. 

So then we get to the final season where Steven is all kinds of fucked up. Why? Because he wouldn’t let go of his ridiculous attempt to repair the lives of his space nazi aunts. So now he’s traumatized and what does he do? Lash out at the people who actually care about him, refuse to talk to anybody, hold everything inside, KILL SOMEBODY (even if it was an accident, he still did it). 

And again, we’re treating Steven like he’s a real person, so if this were real life and some PTSD sufferer accidentally murdered somebody, they would still be put in prison. It doesn’t matter how sad/depressed/angry they feel inside. Their actions are their actions. They make their own decisions and live with the consequences. 

But what happens with Steven? Well, everybody just ends up rallying around him after 20 episodes of him behaving like a fucking asshole. And they immediately forgive him for his actions. I don’t care that he’s 17. 17 year olds are more than capable of understanding that mental health isn’t an excuse to behave like a bitch/actively hurt people and lash out in anger. Again, he’s a fucking cartoon, but we’re pretending like he’s real for your benefit. 

For me personally, no. I don’t have PTSD. But your “newsflash, asshole-- there’s no right or wrong way to deal with trauma” shows me that you’re seriously mentally unstable in some fashion, because there IS a right and wrong way to deal with trauma. Lashing out at people, forcing everybody around you to deal with your bad attitude, forcing everybody around you to forgive you if you accidentally go too far and MURDER SOMEBODY, is the WRONG way to deal with trauma. 

And now we’re back to talking about real life. Let me educate you, bitch. If you have a rough life, that doesn’t give you the excuse to behave like a fucking psychopath. It doesn’t give you a free ticket to do whatever you want with no chance of dealing with consequences. Mental health isn’t an excuse. Ever. You are in charge of yourself, your body, your mind.

If you’re mentally unwell and hurt the people you love, you still hurt the people you love. That fact doesn’t change just because you were suffering with PTSD. And you don’t get to just break down into tears and have everybody give you a group hug without addressing what a piece of shit you’ve been to everyone on account of you having mental problems. 

SU is a children’s show. Kids watch it and learn from it. And the only thing they learned for that bum-ass finale was that “it doesn’t matter if somebody continuously lashes out at you and hurts you and physically/mentally harms you...they were having a bad day. Forgive them. Hug them. It’s all good!”

also, if you hurt somebody you love while you’re suffering with mental health and your excuse is “that’s how i was healing”, you really deserve to get punted out to the cold. because fuck that. take responsibility for you own shitty behavior. 

[ozpositivity]

There isn't really anything else that could be added to this post. It's a wonderful breakdown more people need to see. I would just like to say a few things.

Since V1, RT has portrayed Oz as the abuse victim with PTSD and he's tired. The Lost Fable only further proves that. Abused by the gods, Salem, people he came to view as his friends. This man is broken and bruised and instead of the gang being understanding after seeing what all they have from the fight in Haven and what Jinn showed them, they're angry because he kept some secrets. Right, it's not like Yang isn't keeping the secret that her deadbeat mother is the Spring Maiden which seems pretty important, but I guess it's not or whatever.

At this point in his incredibly long life, Oz doesn't have the fight in him to say that he wasn't responsible for something that went even mildly wrong. He's not going to defend himself anymore, especially since one of the first times he did so got his children and himself killed. He's now at the point where it's easier to accept the blame and just believes that everything is in fact his fault. As an obvious abuse victim, RT has made him into the scapegoat, the doormat, and I'm fairly certain this is something they don't even realize they've done (surprise, surprise...) Similar to the otome game Mystic Messenger where the mysterious male character, V, keeps certain secrets to himself and is also an abuse victim (his father mentally, his fiancée physically), the fandom chooses to see him as The Absolute Worse™ despite him being the obvious victim who made mistakes because he's only human.

Despite how progressive and woke everyone claims to be now, people still seem to be stuck in the horribly incorrect mindset that men can't be abuse victims because that's a "weak, feminine" role. Oz does not deserve to be traumatized by this new group of kids and Qrow. They also found not have the right to say, "But we're different from Oz," when they're doing something similar to what he's done. Instead of telling Ironwood they're the reason why Oz is gone (which James already said was odd), or what happened with Jinn, or what all went down with Leo, or the fact that they left the city of Argus completely defenseless after nearly getting it destroyed, or Yang not telling anyone her mom is the Spring Maiden. Oz didn't tell everyone the whole truth because it's either not something people need to know or it's vital information that absolutely cannot fall into the wrong hands and not everyone could be trusted. He knows that better than anyone now. Why haven't QRWBY told James the secrets they're hiding? He was openly ecstatic about Oz being there with Oscar. I'm like 99% sure he was ready to hug him even (precious).

And he hasn't done anything to cause them to doubt him and his loyalty to Oz, so why not tell him? He's going to find out eventually and even if they do tell him, he will most likely disappointed they kept such vital information from him. So, tell me again, how are you "different from Oz"? Of course, other than seeming very similar to those that abused him.

(1/4) As always, great analysis. You bring in some strong points and it's always great to read! You know what frustrates me the most? Now that we HAVE the Summer lore… Qrow’s anger has even less weight. I’m not saying the blow to his personal self-esteem is anything to shrug off, but I felt if Qrow was going to have such an extreme reaction, then something more was going on in his head – the only conclusion I could come to was the effect it had on his family.

(Never worry about length. I’m the biggest chatterbox around :D)

But thank you! I’ll be honest, a huge part of me is relieved that they didn’t go the ‘Summer died on Ozpin’s orders’ route just because the backlash against him is already so heavy. If the characters and fandom react this badly to things legitimately outside of his control (like the gods screwing him over, Salem abusing him, Raven telling lies, Pyrrha making her own choices, etc.) I hate to think what it would be like if they introduced a Legit Bad Choice into the present day narrative. Something way heavier than, ‘I kept information secret from a group who, in a few days, will decide that is actually the best course of action.’ His character never would have had the chance to recover because Summer is a ghost. In the figurative sense. As a dead mother, she exists as the perfect martyr; as a dead character, she exists as the perfect, blank canvas for whatever the fandom chooses to imagine for her. She can do no wrong because she’s not here and therefore she’ll always be above the man who is forced to continue living and, by default, keep making mistakes. The living can’t compete with the dead like that. 

(Although, we can admit the opposite as well: the characters and the fandom hate Ozpin so much when he’s presented as no better or worse than the rest of the cast, if they’d given him that Legit Bad Choice in regards to Summer it might not have made a difference. People throw him under the bus whether he’s responsible for things or not, so…). 

I’ll say though that you’re right. This severely undermines a lot of the assumptions for why characters, Qrow in particular, are reacting to Ozpin with this degree of coldness. At every turn the narrative undermines the reasons why people are supposedly justified in hating him: 

He’s secretly evil! Oh no wait, “The Lost Fable” killed that theory. 

He got Pyrrha and Hazel’s sister killed! Oh no wait, we all saw Pyrrha make her own choice. The choice that directly contradicted what Ozpin told her to do. We’re likewise shown that Hazel is delusional with grief and can’t accept that his sister chose a dangerous career. 

He drove Qrow’s sister away! Oh no wait, Raven was always a shady character who snuck her way into Beacon, gained Ozpin’s trust, and then (unlike Qrow) betrayed him. Also she abandons her daughter and murders young women for power so… not convinced losing Raven is a downside here. 

He cast horrible magic on the Branwens and kept is secret! Oh no wait, it’s not horrible at all. And Qrow kept it secret, not Ozpin. 

He told lies and kept other secrets! Yeah. So has the rest of the cast. And they’re now telling the exact same lies and keeping the exact same secrets. That’s an ongoing thing. 

Now: He got Summer killed! Oh no wait. He didn’t. No one knows how Summer died. 

It’s the biggest disconnect between showing and telling I’ve ever seen. At every turn the story shows us a flawed but ultimately good man, someone who, to be frank, did really well considering the impossible situation he was thrown into. Yet every time more information is revealed, instead of reacting to it appropriately the cast (and fandom) keeps insisting that Ozpin is the Worst Person Ever. He’s a scapegoat, plain and simple. The worst part is that as a human being Ozpin has made mistakes. And as a 1,000 year old abused and tortured human being his sense of his own responsibility has been completely warped. Ozpin has reached a point where he’s so tired and so grief-stricken that he’s no longer able to accurately look at a situation and say, “No. That wasn’t my fault. Not fully, at the very least. I am not responsible for every horrific thing that has ever happened to you.” His abuse at the hands of the gods, Salem, and others around him has resulted in the belief that he is responsible. For everything. So when the likes of someone like Qrow goes, “No one knows how Summer died… but Ozpin could definitely be responsible” he’s not there to speak up for himself (thanks, @missroseyred) and even if he was he doesn’t have the confidence or the mental health required to call out that undeserved blame. That’s why he left. The group said, “You’re the worst thing that ever happened to us” and Ozpin responded with, “You’re right.” 

Frankly, idk how the story is going to come back from this. If it even can. Because we’ve been given SO MUCH that shows us how good Ozpin truly is and the characters have flat out twisted or ignored it all. Ozpin himself isn’t in a position to speak up for himself and change minds. No one else wants to. Maybe Oscar will, but he doesn’t have to social power or the confidence to refute such a deeply embedded belief. It really just feels like we’re stuck with a show that has everyone insisting Ozpin is The Worst even while everyone is shown otherwise, providing no justification for that contrast, having the characters embody his beliefs and choices, and then not acknowledging that hypocrisy either. It’s pro-protagonist in the extreme. 

So… yeah. “Why are y’all angry again?” It would be great if RWBY would actually force the cast to answer that question and not let them use faulty logic, undeserved blame, or ‘But we’re different’ as answers.