#they're literally of their own free will describing their intentions as “bullying” and think this is proof they're good people

[rjalker]

how do you outright admit in your own words that you plan to "bully" aroace, non-SAM aros and aces out of the community and think this is proof that you're a good person and your exclusionist hate campaign is totally justified this time, really bro, it's for a good cause, they're dangerous invaders this time, we swear!!!!

[1111jenx]

How would you describe Lilith in the 1st house/Lilith conjunct ascendant? 🌹

Ofcourse!

As someone who had Lilith 7H, I have met (too) MANY Lilith in the 1st house people😆

Lilith in the 1st house🦇

1st house rules over the body, our physical appearance, our conscious sense of self and our focus in life. Having Lilith present here means the native literally embodies and exudes the truest form of Lilith.

Something about these people awaken others' sexuality. Whether it's good or bad depends on the aspects. Positive aspects indicate others admire, obsessed over these natives' darker energy and even dream about having sexual affairs with them. (TW!!) Negative aspects, esp towards Mars or Pluto can literally mean abusive encounters. Others yearn for their darkness and grow addicted to 1H Lilith people, disregarding Lilith's own intention and free will. It's so fucking sad sometimes.

These people once again, were not bullied when younger, but more like they received way more isolation(?) from people. 7H Lilith suffers as a child because they were criticized for their natural sexuality , mature energy but 1H Lilith simply feels as if they themself were rejected as a whole person. Not just a part of them.

Crippling anxiety, fears of abandonment can be a big theme. May have an extremely complicated relationships with sex, physical appearance, and personal expression.

Their mother/a parental figure may have been hard on them. This parental figure might have been extra harsh on 1H Lilith natives. They may have been shamed for their sexual preference, their sex life, their appearance and even how they come off by their own parents. Therefore, these natives sometimes feel "unlovable".

They tend to stay close to what they already knew pretty well rather than diving into the unknown. (but a part of them will always willing to go to the extreme)

DEFENSIVE. DONT CRITICIZE THEM FOR THEIR FEELINGS. be there for them only.

People literally want to fuck them. I'm so serious it's horrifying sometimes. People simply want to have a taste of them, to let their "darkeness" consume them even though there are no emotional attraction whatsoever . These people(Lilith 1H) are aware of this. They can subconsciously feel it or may have even experienced a good amount of incidents as such to realize this sad reality. This is why they tend to act very cold, detached and mean. They push people away. They like to test people because they need to know, do you people love them for who they are or just who they can be in bed.

It sounds very much like a joke but if these people want to be with someone for the long-term. They would hold off the sex. And they should. Let me elaborate, I've seen this happen so many times! This is their ultimate "test". Lilith 1H native would want to see how you're going to handle this, are you feelings for them deep enough to overcome your own primal need? If not, the door is wide open!

Sex with them will get you addicted. You've been warned. Especially when you're emotionally connected to them. You'll keep going back for more and more and more and at one point they'll slowly pull away as they fear you're using them for their bodies only.

Lilith in 1H can't help but struggle when it comes to self love. They spend so much nights turning and twisting their bed sheet wondering if they'll ever find someone who can love them, who is it that is their soulmate? This is especially true if you have Lilith in Libra 1H. They also attract a crazy amount of Pluto/Mars energy into their life.

A need to put on a facade. Growing up, they may have been told that they're only lovable when they act a certain way, or when they present themselves in a certain manner. They resent this yet fear finding out the real answer to whether or not it is true.

Rebels. Pure rebels at heart. Sometimes they just want to break all the rules. Break all the norms.

Developed placements may embrace the rebellious nature of Lilith. Think women who are not afraid of dying their armpits to "prove a point", or men who are not afraid of wearing dresses to go against societal norms. Simply want to send a big fuck you to the universe tbh. Activism can be a big theme. Real fighters when they believe in something.

No one understands pain and trauma like they do. Once they made peace with their Black Moon Lilith, they can become healers who send out guidance for people. Think retired alcoholics at your AA meeting:) I'm joking but not really.

Oh also may have a complex relationship with substance and drugs. They're sooooo prone to finding an "escape" when things get too stressful. This is especially true if the natives already have a lot of negative Neptune aspects in tight orbs!

Most likely to say something extremely mean and offensive but honestly didn't mean it, it was because of "the heat of the moment"

People with this placement all of have some kind of triggers. Not the "icks" but ones that would seriously get them raged up.

Tend to have darker hair or darker eyes. Looks like Scorpio Rising but less about physical appearance but rather more about their "aura".

That's all I can think of right now:) Again please take aspects into consideration for when reading these notes y'all!! Give your Lilith 1H friend a hug LOL

love,

saint jenx🥀

[the-empress-of-snark]

First, I would like to publicly make an apology to JD, the mod from Tomione Finds who initially reached out to me. I was already a bit agitated, and ended up misreading what she was trying to say to me and reacting impulsively instead of processing tthings calmly. 

It was genuinely not my intention for her to be hurt in this situation, but she was and for that I am very sorry. 

So, my initial reaction to kyoki's post was not to bother dignifying such obvious hyperbole with a response. 

Like, seriously, painting me as Fandom Satan so you can pin your flounce from fandom on me is just so wildly attention seeking it borders on the absurd. 

Your post was deliberately inflammatory, completely fabricated and designed solely to smear me, and your criticism that I've never provided evidence was  inaccurate as well as ironic, given that you...don't. 

That shit is exactly the kind of behavior I've been talking about. 

I then realized that staying silent isn't the answer. 

There are folks who might also be experiencing bullying in our fandom community, but feel uncertain if it qualifies as such or is more a personal conflict. Or maybe they're scared to speak up or come forward out of fear of retaliation - such as being smeared as toxic or untruthful like I was.  

Here's the thing. Your feelings are all valid. 

You know what you're experiencing, I know what I've experienced, and no amount of shouting down and being called a liar will ever change that. 

I'm also just going to point out that while my old blog was active, I talked about my experiences with bullying extensively, on more than one occasion. 

If I was going to be called out as a liar and a shit stirrer, that was literally a golden opportunity to do so. But the reason why that didn't happen at the time - a culture of silence that reinforces unequal power dynamics - is part of what I've been talking about. 

The thing about bullying is that it isn't necessarily someone walking up to you and punching you in the face. More frequently, it's subtle, low key, and perpetrated in a way that makes you doubt yourself. 

Here are a few examples of my experiences.

As if I have to state the obvious, reblogging someone's art with shitty tags in order to make fun of it is bullying. 

Also, I had never interacted with this person.  

Next, I only ever shared this privately with a couple people. It was nice of this person, who I'd been on friendly terms with, to let me know what they really thought of me and my writing. (Edit 7/21/21: I'm not gonna shield the identity of assholes any more)

That's some epic level passive aggressiveness right there.

And then just before I deleted,

There is a factual inaccuracy here. I did not ever regularly post in the tag, let alone posts regarding my experiences.

And then there is this:

This was created in June 2018 for members of the Tomione discord, but the history behind it goes back to January 2015. The term and its use was a significant part of my falling out with Nerys and Serpentinred, with the latter deeming it as a 'demeaning slur.' 

Which isn't...exactly what I said in our last email exchange. 

I worded this clumsily, I admit, but I was trying to describe how I felt - using I statements. I did not ever once use the term as a pejorative against her, and she's free to bring forth any evidence that I did. 

At that point though, it didn't matter, though I apologized to both of them in subsequent emails.  They were angry, and immediately severed any relationship I had with them, which was their right to do. 

So, a few years later, these same people suddenly appeared in the Discord using these Inner Circle icons, and offering them up for members of the chat to use. In a variety of colors. No one there had any idea that this was, in reality, a very pointed slight directed at me. 

There's really no way to explain this away as an innocent effort to make something fun for the chat, or as a joke, given the repeated assertion that the term was a slur. 

Somewhere along the line, their feelings toward the term must have changed, because both of them used the icon.

And no, there's been no "owning up" to this. Taking responsibility for your actions involves actually addressing shit with the person you harmed, and not minimizing the effect this had on me as “whining about a button”. 

I have now provided evidence to support my statements regarding my experiences with bullying in fandom. I did not at this time include less easily categorized vague posts made where I wasn't specifically named, but if I read it, it would be clear that I was the person being referred to. These were posts where I was accused of using slurs, or impersonating an artist in order to harass someone.

These posts are still damaging, though, in the sense that they're deliberate misrepresentations designed to create social/fandom harm to the people being talked about, and are examples of covert bullying/relational aggression. 

Which brings me to an observation I'd like to make regarding the angry, almost aggressive disparagement of myself and others speaking, even privately, about our experiences as 'spreading garbage behind our backs'. 

It's hypocritical. It's a double standard, given multiple posts that have been made about me, and honestly, it's concerning that someone could possibly expect to exert that much control over what people say about them, even privately. 

For example, if you and your friends want to chat about how much of an asshole you think I am, and how much you hate me, that's entirely your prerogative, and I have no control over that. You're perfectly free to express your opinion of me on your blog. The reverse holds true as well. Once you start making false accusations, though, it's a different story.

Lastly, I guess if there is anything I would like to see come from this, it would be for folks not to feel hesitant or uncomfortable about either speaking out about their own experiences, or openly being supportive of other people without fear of retaliation.  Because after the actual incidents, the sense of isolation was about the worst. 

Ultimately, this isn't about being liked or having conflicts due to differences in opinion. This is about actively engaging in behaviors, or encouraging others to engage in behaviors to purposefully cause harm. It's about isolating and marginalizing people you don't like and stripping them of support within the community. 

It's unacceptable.