#they're like. genuinely my favorite lil guys

[arolesbianism]

Did some abno fights in ruina today which means more nugget slots which means I got to write more dialogue for them let's gooooo 🎉🎉🎉

[crunchystarz]

Hey so I was wondering if for your twst Self-aware au For Leona, Malleus or Idia (it dossnt matter) reader had a neighbor that they're really close with (they have keys, often drop by, bring food, ect) and they kinda have a thing for reader how would they react?

Hope you have a good day!

"Neighborly nuisance"

Yan!Leona Kingscholar x GN! reader

Cw- possessive behavior, jealousy, Leona's just a lil ass but when isn't he

A/N: this is super short but took longer to get out bc of school so gah sorry

Your neighbor was one of the first friends you made when you moved into your apartment. They were really kind and you two instantly hit it off. After a few years they honestly felt like family to you.

Whenever you cooked and had too many leftovers they'd get them. They even had a spare key and because they knew your schedule so well they dropped by whenever they knew you were free.

You were oblivious to the romantic feelings that started to grow just thinking it was them being their usual friendly self. Who didn't like this friendly behavior was the house warden you had taken in.

Leona woke up to you no longer in bed. This wasn't unusual behavior since you'd often wake up way before him. The beast man got out of bed and felt something off. A new smell. He didn't like it.

He found the source of the smell, it was all over you and some person he didn't recognize. Leona huffed walking over to you and resting his face into the crook of your neck.

"Morning " You spoke. He didn't properly reply just a mumble as he held onto you possessively. Your neighbor looked at you then him then back at you once more.

"[Name], whose this?" They asked, genuine curiosity lacing their voice. Leona didn't like the way they said your name. All lovey-dovey and sweet. He slightly growled.

"oh this is Leona, the guy I told you about" You replied with an awkward smile. Leona found himself smirking slightly, a small sense of pride washed over him when you mentioned talking about him.

"ooh I see"

"and Leona this is my favorite neighbor!" You introduced, Leona just huffed. He didn't like this guy but he'd live with it.

---

Until he couldn't anymore. Your neighbor was always around. It was so annoying. So desperate for your attention, it was honestly pathetic. They were head over heels for you and you were absolutely oblivious about it.

Leona lazily lounged on the couch recently waking up from a nap. You weren't home yet. Usually you'd already be home by now. His ear twitched when the sound of keys jingling at the door. He went to go greet you at the door.

Except it wasn't you and it was in fact your pesky neighbor. Leona's face turned. It was clear he was annoyed by just their presence.

"oh is [name] not my home?" They asked, holding something in their hands. The beast man wanted to just roll his eyes at their voice.

"No why?" He spoke, venom lacing his words. Your neighbor just awkwardly smiled as the hybrid practically towered over them.

"well I -"

"oh you're here what a nice surprise!" The two's attention found you. You were holding a few bags in your hands.

"[Name]!" your neighbor spoke a genuine smile spreading across their face at your presence. The brunette glared at him before his attention went back onto you.

"let me help" Leona spoke pushing past your neighbor causing them to stumble a bit. You gladly let him take the bags from you. You all made your way into the apartment fully.

Leona placed the bags on your kitchen counter. He basically let out a low growl when he watched your neighbor take your coat for you. Seriously they were such a suck up? Wouldn't matter anyway you were his so no matter how much they tried it wouldn't work.

He worked so hard to get here with you. Not that human who did nothing but be annoying.

Leona grimaced as you and your neighbor chatted away. He couldn't stand it. They were always over, seriously they don't know their place.

"You come over a lot don't you" The beast man spat. Moving behind you.

"I do stop by a few times, yeah" Your neighbor spoke with a shy smile as they turned their attention towards you.

The brunette scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Way more than a few times, don't ya have a life"

You were quick to lightly shove the house warden. "Leona! That's rude" you scolded the man. You could sense how uncomfortable your neighbor seemed.

"Maybe I should go, I have to feed my dog anyway I'll uh catch you later [Name]..." They said awkwardly shifting.

"you go do that" Leona muttered, still loud enough for you both to hear. You gave them an apologetic expression already making a mental note to bring them left overs as an apology.

Once the door shut you turned to Leona with a stern face.

"What is your problem!" You stated, crossing your arms.

"My problem is that they just keep sniffing around the place, around you" He defended, tail twitching.

"Leona they're my friend you can't just be-"

"Friend?" the beast man interrupted, he huffed before continuing "You sure they’re not looking for something more?”

You rolled your eyes. “They’re just a neighbor, Leona. You’re reading too much into it.”

“Am I?” Leona walked closer. He stopped just close enough to not be in your face. “You spend enough time with them; people might start thinking you’re interested.”

“And if I am?” you teased, with a devilish smirk.

His tail flicked sharply. “You’re not.” The low growl in his voice left no room for argument, though he masked it with a smirk of his own. “Because you already have me.” He said a bit softer this time.

You rolled your eyes as he moved closer and lazily rested his head into the crook of your neck

MASTERLIST

[directdogman]

Hey Mr. Doggo, do you have a favorite character you created?

I truly don't. When I made DT, it was a goal of mine that every character with a good bit of screentime be someone I genuinely liked (or disliked in an intentional sort of way.) They're all either likable or entertaining.

When it comes to writing characters, Gingi, Crown, Mingus, Randy, and Karen come to mind first and foremost as of my answering tonight. Gabby, Tango + Mr Dickens and God too. Oliver + Norm are cool too... I really could just list every character.

Typically, the less time a character has on screen, the less I have for them on paper (with Crown/Milt/Marla being the obvious exceptions), but of the developed cast, there's something I really like about all of them. They are people, first and foremost. They love, hate, win, lose and have opinions/insecurities that drive who they are and what they do and there's always *something* I about them, even if the audience doesn't know it yet, that makes me relate to them on a human level.

Even Gingi, who spends a lot of the game scampering around, talking about eating gravel/horse jerky and chugging cough nectar. The amount of people I've had tell me that Gingi is somehow the character they relate to most of the cast tells me I'm doing something right at least. I really love all of these zany lil guys

[seonghwaswifereal]

OT8 SKZ

(I'm putting this at the start of every list, so ignore it if you want)

Just wanna say that this is pretty much just for me to catalog all the fics and random things that I like, so idk, just enjoy it if you want lol

Full Name

Calling them their full name in bed, VERY mixed reactions, a little icky tbh I still like it tho

Subspace

Some INTENSE fucking in the beginning, soo so fluffy, this Bin has me in Literal tears lol

Fave Way Of Getting You Off

Thigh riding *cue foaming at the mouth* toys, and much more

Virginity

Kind of it, Chan's is super duper cute, Seungmo being surprisingly soft lol

Kinks

Public stuff, begging, kinda what you'd expect tbh

Live

Givin' em brain while they're live, Min singing a song??? like??

Calling Him Daddy

Himbo Binnie, I really like Chan's, rough, cute lil drabble

Hyung Line X Virgin Reader

Nosy ass Hyunjin, Riding Binnie bc of course

Maknae Line X Virgin Reader

Sweet Jisung :( rough Min, Innies is in public lol

Perv Maknae Line

Jisung w. a chewing(?) kink, Jisung that likes to get pegged, hairband-stealer Lix??? Seungmo w. a breeding kink, wet dreams-Innie has me in a literal CHOKEHOLD

Munch

MunchSKZ needs more fics fr

Personal Time

How and what they use to jack off, SeungIn's is my fav

Lingerie

Sending them texts of you in lingerie, it's so mmm but so fluffy at the same time

TwT Links

*Gasp* A masterlist in another list???? lol

Pullout

Binnie being a respectful boy, Innie being a worrywart, Hannie can't control hisself

Car Ride

Sooo... this one is a little, uh yeah, tw for... piss, please don't judge meeee, literally so hot thooo, Hannie's basically a toilet

Sub Sandwich Hyung Line

Your first time subbing, Chan's could quite literally send me to the psych ward if I let it, hair pulling, overstim, and dacryphilia, yum

Contact Names

Honestly made me chuckle, cutie patootie Bin

Sharing Is Caring (MeanRacha)

Double pen. in one hole, my favorite hehe, Innie's BIG, cnc bracelet except it's not really

Can I Kiss You?

So cute God, nervous Minho :( lmao you're already fucking Binnie before kissing him? sure, Innies is so, just, domestic it's adorableee

Favorite Positions Hyung Line

STRONG Bin, ass guy Min, cuddling Jin, and riding Chan. Perfection

Appearance

The Most accurate headcannons on how their schlongs look imo

When You Struggle To Eat

Super adorable drabble, 2Min's are my favorite

Reward

Who and why the think that getting/ giving head is a reward

Choreo

It's so fucking funny istg

Favorite Place To Kiss You

Gaahhhh tummy kisses with Binnn, also Min's is so like.. surprisingly romantic, I'm in love

TwT Links And Descriptions

I honestly just saved this one for the links

With A Sleepy S/O

Cute and pretty short, it's here to give you a little dopamine boost :)

Mice

Guys, I- this genuinely made me chuckle

Mishaps

Snapshots of them making mistakes in bed lol, ex. banging your head against the wall...

[honey-dont]

stex month day 13: flat top!

favorite actors: SO many. ross dawes is my forever fave but i also love delano williamsen, dennis courtney, luuk hartog, todd lester, mark davis, richard mylan, marcel brauneis, and paul treacy! plus whoever played him in tuacahn, i've never been able to find a cast list </3

i think a lot of actors tend to play him pretty one-note so i love when people balance his jerk asshole side with his softer caring side! plus he's always fun comedic relief, shoutout to ross for smacking himself in the face with his own brick. and how can we forget dennistop's goofy helium laugh. love him

favorite songs/scenes: watching him mess around in freight and the blues is SO fun he's so funny <33 the lil spin and suspender snap paul does is adorable, also love him bothering this poor random woman in the audience with his brick. i mentioned ross above but him climbing around on the set like a jungle gym is so so cute!! also tuachan flats getting super excited to see rusty and waving at him!!

love literally all of his and dustin's interactions too, esp when he waves off the rockies for teasing him ough. their little goofy solo in freight!! <3

AND ofc all of his and rusty's interactions! him being a little shit to poppa and rusty jerking him back by his couplers....peak sibling behavior. love him giving rusty his helmet back after he gets beat up, esp how ross does it bc he doesn't tell him to give up!! he still believes in him!! brb exploding

him and poppa/momma are rly fun too, flat top is definitely their least favorite child but they still care about each other <3

honorable mentions to dinah giving him a cheek kiss too it's so cute

OH wait one last thing. when he hears about cb's plan and he looks SO disappointed in greaseball bc that's him finding out that his hero isn't who he thought he was and UGH. it's so good

wait i lied one more. him and rocky messing around during the megamix and throwing the brick to each other <3

favorite costumes: london!! oh my god all the little details are so good like he's quintessentially 80s london punk and it shows. his little socks! the steel toes on the skates!! the bigass frankenstein bolt collar <3 i'm especially fond of his earlier fluffy black & silver wig, it's adorable

i also loooveee the 3d glasses makeup but the bit where he just had graffiti scribbled all over his face is so funny like "hey what should we put on him to show that he's rebellious?" "just write SEX + DRUGS" "ok got it"

also brick on a chain my beloved <3 AND in late london where his belt was made of wood planks to show that he's a flatcar!! so good

i also have a fondness for on ice flats. his stupid nail boots. and tuacahn bc i respect the decision to put him in a crop top and chaps

favorite ships/friendships: flatdust is my train otp i love them i love them i love them <333 they have it all....friends to lovers....sunshine/grumpy....introvert/extrovert....good stuff. their friendship is so sweet to me bc they're total opposites and yet! special shoutout to that one boot where it genuinely looks like they're about to start making out onstage

i love him and rusty too, they're absolutely siblings to me and wind each other up all the time but they still care for each other! also him and cb in a frenemy situation bc cb thinks it's funny to push his buttons

his hero worship on greaseball is also really interesting bc it ties into his whole self-discovery arc imo

headcanons: he's physically the weakest of the freight and he absolutely has a chip on his shoulder about it </3 i hc him as a bulkhead so engines tend to dislike him too due to him being prone to derailing at speed, so he's desperate to prove that is he is cool and strong actually!! he's also like 5'4" without the boots lmao little guy

he's scared of thunderstorms but won't admit to it so dustin will hold his hand and pretend that he's the one who's scared ;-; he also helps dustin out in his garden sometimes but he sucks at it so he just gets to stand there and be moral support. guy who doesn't get the concept of seeds and will just rip up whole flowers for dustin to plant

also very rarely smiles bc he doesn't like his tooth gap :( dustin thinks it's cute tho

unpopular opinion: flat top is such an interesting character bc like. he does NOTHING and yet he has one of the strongest character arcs in the whole show! it's all about him figuring out who he is and where he belongs and it's so fascinating to watch unfold in the background. him racing with rusty in the final would've been such a good culmination of that

also i don't think this is unpopular but on my knees begging him to be punk again like that's his whole point

anyway sorry for writing an entire essay i'm normal about him.

(last two pics are commissions from arachnidal and sparemayonnaise!)

[mochilovesbuffmen]

Hiiii mochiiii LMAOOO (totally didn't talk to you just now ANYWAYS)

Tokyo revengers Mizo Middle Five, Mochizuki, shion madarame, and obv kazutora, (if you want add more) with a clingy, childhood best friend reader to lovers, or they can already be lovers.

There literally isn't enough mizo middle five content out there 😭

Hope you have fun with this hehehe!

this is such a cute idea omg😭💞

𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱

I apologize that i couldn't include all of the Mizo Middle Five bc damn they're tough to write-

Anyways

𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦�� 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘶𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘭!! 𝘍𝘓𝘜𝘍𝘍 𝘈𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘋!!

𝙈𝙤𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙯𝙪𝙠𝙞 𝙆𝙖𝙣𝙟𝙞

• this ones my favorite omg

• your Families are friends that's how you met!

• Playdates w Mochi were always the best but he would tease you for not being able to catch up w him

• you're one of the few people not afraid of this big guy even if he's angry

• and he appreciates it so so much

• he's the best friend you need and actually listens very well (sucks at giving advice though)

• y'alls favorite type of dates is going to eat

• his dream partner would be someone who eats as much as him but he's gonna like someone who eats less too (he can finish your food dw)

• that being said y'all got together pretty early

• depending if you confessed first because he's gonna take ages making sure you're actually interested in him that way

• he's prolly very self concious but he never shows it

• pls reassure him

• you love to hug him and he loves to hug you back (he gives the best hugs fight me on that)

• loves when you hang on his arm!! He's proud of his strength and flexes every chance he gets so you can compliment him<3

• also loves to give piggy back rides or just letting you sit on his shoulders + plus doesn't hesitate to swoop you up and carry you when you're tired - no matter your weight

• style his hair!! Your fingers in his hair while he's sitting on the floor is the best way for him to relax😭

𝙎𝙝𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚

• you two stuck like glue ever since y'all met at the playground when you were smaller

• even then Shion was all bark but no bite and you helped him when he got beat by older kids lmao

• so now years later you two still chill together in your room (i hc that he prolly has some beef w his family so he prefers to not be home at all)

• man knows where the keys to your home is if he's not simply coming in through the front door (your parents don't mind anymore)

• they probably didn't even believe he's a deliquent help

• naps on your bed >>

• you're the only one (and Izana) who can tell him to stfu without getting beat

• obv you patch him up after a fight and he didn't manage to keep you out of his gang business but ig you don't mimd if you still stick around

• he slowly started to fall for you with the way you cared for him and didn't mind if he disappeared for days when he needed the break

• that's why every time you touched or hugged him his heart would beat faster (pls don't ask why he's gotten red he's gonna deny it)

• i doubt he'll confess first though brother is in denial

• it was you who indirectly asked him and he went ?????

• he's gonna be so happy and you can see that on his giddy smile <3 Will only genuinely laugh and smile like that privately w you tho

• he needs a little push after you confessed but let's say he's clingy too after you two got together (more than you)

BONUS! Once a dude tried to threaten you and had the misfortune of Shion witnessing it. That guy got pulled away and you could imagine what happened to him (Shion sent you a cute little Selfie w the beaten guy after)

𝙆𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙖 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙮𝙖

• okay so this ones a lil different

• you two were friends right before Toman was founded

• he wouldn't tell you about his family problems but you knew something was wrong

• he's gonna be more hesitant with being touched by you. Not that he doesn't want to, he's simply not used it

• you two had a routine with feeding and petting stray cats and he started to feel very comfortable around you

• that was until the thing w Shinichiro happened

• you heard about it from your parents but couldn't see him before he got to juvie

• you also didn't see him until he got out again much later

• you were walking home when saw him standing there leaning against a wall. He has been waiting for you.

• you two caught up and got closer again this day

• but he was way more distant than he used to and you were the only one who could see it despite his attitude

• fast forward to the Bloody Halloween you witnessed everything that happened (decide if you're in Toman or Valhalla)

• you managed to confess to him before he got you to leave before the Police came

• this time you didn't leave his side and visited him as often as you could in juvie

• that's when he confessed to you too<3

• after he got out there the second time you were there and you could finally go on dates.

• still hesitant and shy when you touch or hug him but he gradually got used to it

• going on rides w him as a date!!

𝙔𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞 𝙆𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞

• ahhhh this cutie!!

• being childhoof friends w him means being childhood friends w the whole group

• but you seemed to always spend more time w Yamagishi

• ofc you're gonna be his number one to rant about gangs to

• and you didn't mind one bit

• you didn't join Toman w the rest of them as you preferred to stay out of the danger

• which meant you're the one Yamagishi goes to to get patched up

• you're his crush obv and he's the one to confess after the whole crew teased him about it for too long

• was ecstatic when you said yes

• going to arcades is going to be y'alls favorite type of dates!! Also amusement parks even tho he probably hates the higher rides

• can't help but grin widely when you steal his glasses and wear them for fun

• loves when you hug him or hold his hand!! He has the most adorable blush on his face when you do

• he's gonna tease the shit outta you at times too

• plus he may be shy around you but he initiates physical touch himself too

• i feel like he's the type to randomly start tickling you (may or may have not got accidently hit by you and his glasses broke AGAIN)

[semisolidmind]

Hi there, how are you?

So I came across your eternal servants au pic, and I was just wondering how would the dynamics change between the twice as bad duo and Peaches if she was their master? And how would they be the same or at least similar?

No pressure to answer obviously, I was just curious because it's such a cool pic.

(eh. i cant think of a good reason for her to be their master in my au, so ill just describe what my reader would be like as the master in @emelinstriker 's universe)

reader is a very benevolent master. she doesn't want to punish her champions. and it's only partially because...she doesn't think she can? they're all incredibly powerful, so...what right does she have as a relatively normal human to enact any sort of repercussions on them?

however, she also doesn't want them to kill if they can help it. i imagine she would attempt to talk any enemies down first (if she's present) before one of her fellas has to step in and take the aggressor out.

i really can't see reader giving orders to the champions unless she has to. it just feels so...wrong to give them commands, like they're nothing more than machines. she feels a sense of remorse for the champions. reader can't help but wonder who they were before.

reader doesn't play favorites. mostly because all of the champions unsettle her to some degree. she just can't get used to the idea that these powerful beings are at her beck and call.

however, wukong, macaque, mk, and azure are the ones she interacts with the most. the others seek her out as well (as is their want), but at least one of these four are never far from her side.

(i know it's just a cute collab w/ @theweepingegg and it's not canon, but bean mk is a cutie, so that's how he'll appear here) lil guy mk follows reader around like a duckling. reader genuinely can't help but baby him, he's just too cute. he'll tug on her skirts for attention and look up at her with those big ol eyes; she has to pick him up, she can't resist. it doesn't matter that he's capable of incredible violence, he's just a lil guy!

idk exactly how the masters are usually "acquired," but i imagine that reader was living a fairly normal life before she was nabbed and brought to the palace. she takes an exhausted pride in the fact that she didn't freak out as bad as she could have. and y'know, in spite of the way she got there, reader really hasn't minded having all this free time.

if the palace has a library, that's where you can usually find reader. she feels safer in there than anywhere else.

the only champion who gives reader a hard time is mink (of course). however, it's less in a "genuinely doesn't like her" kinda way and more in a "teasing her because he thinks it's funny and otherwise doesn't mind her" kinda way. he thinks it's funny to rile her up, knowing she won't actually punish him. the others don't really voice their opinions on the masters, so i think mink's attitude is a good indicator for whether a master is a good one.

overall, reader tries her best to be a good master. she knows her champions are doing their best.

[haveihitanerve]

Genre: Break-Up In An ALDI!!! (I'm working on Jingle Boys guys I swear a lot has been going on though rn and my schedule is pretty busy so idk when I'll manage to get it out, but have this in the meantime :D hope it sates!)

What sort of rom-coms are you watching?????

Luke starting us off, just setting the scene- AJ and Sam sitting next to each other like fricking cuties, i did all of this just so that I can point out the way Tom does his little scurry to the back bc apparently their phones are off stage during shows lol cuties- anyway I’m not a total freak so idk but that may or may not be his phone… anywho moving on

Tom chuckling and amused for whatever reason- while AJ and Sam are staring at Luke with intense concentration as if he’s their last shred of sanity and honestly both are great :) 

“Oh just some pineapple. You seen one before?” Idk if he’s being a dick or if this is meant to add awkwardness but it gets us a brilliant little Luke laugh and thats all that matters

“I always wanted to know why you didn't call me back.” “oh we’re doing this! Ok…” AJ has zingers oh my gods that was a brilliant line- killed me- and it gets another LL:)

Luke freezing Sam right as he’s about to debate AJ and AJ’s chuckle because he sees it, Sam’s lil tilt of the head like ‘don't you test me’ they're too cute

Brilliant fight scene- Tom really wants to be in this lol(at the beginning he was eyeing sam and aj like ‘whos gonna do this?’ and neither returned his look lol poor bby)

“Not the frozen section!” “beep. Beep.” Ok so firstly- i honestly don't know what AJ was attempting to mime there, secondly, Tom being a background character is everything, thirdly Sam makes them all laugh and its cute

“You bastard!” “sp-spit on me.” AJ WHAT????!?!

Tom cackling omg!!!!! We got a genuine loud Tom laugh guys!!!

Luke's panic- “FREEZE???” as AJ immediately  apologizes lmaoo “i’m sorry.” 

Sam letting go of AJ(but still trusting him to hold him up while trying to also simultaneously step away lol), Aj not letting go of Sam, and Luke looking to the audience for help XD

Luke’s little *boink* to AJ’s head lol! And Aj again “so sorry.:(“

Aj slowly losing his mind about whether or not to maintain his “holding” of Sam now that he’s actually left his arms is my favorite thing

AJ: *attempts to speak, fails* Luke: *loses it* Sam: *attempts to continue the actual plot* Tom: *just wants to be included*

Also side note but I just love how every time they yell freeze, no matter what side of the audience they chose to grab a new prompt from- they always have to cross in front of the others just as like a lil check in or smth, idk, just a subtle lil “hey! Whats up! You good?” type of thing, ensuring they’re still there or smth, idk really how to describe it, but just the need to hover closer to them somehow between scenes or smth…🫠

“The only- way.. That we can settle- this. Is- with the- art of kung- fu.” Why did they change accents??? To be more american????

[bald guy has a MASSIVE dick- the Sequel :D] -aj regrets his previous choices, Luke is having wayyyy too much fun, Tom wants to be in a scene, and Sam is just concerned

Also Sam breaking the freeze to address Luke “maybe I dodged a bullet with this one!” and their combined chuckling

“Ask it.” Sam’s little head shake of ‘please don't make me do this’ XD

“This is really supernatural.” Sams break 💗

“Why did-” AJ starts worming his arm forward and Sam flinches away in shock and Fear XD 

“I don't think this microphone is on.” AJ still “mouthing” the words, also the way he immediately clocked that tom wanted to be Dick and just let him have it is too cute

Also their combined laughter and Aj’s glance off stage at Tom to grin (ahhhhhh)

“Anime!” I’m glad Aj just let Sam take that one because he seemed completely lost. Also sam ate 

Nevermind I take it back AJ knew exactly what was going on he just needed his moment to shine lmaooo

Aj feeling the need to apologize to the audience 😭

AND SCENE!!!!

Anyways that was a delight, sry have got a busy schedule rn so i don't think I’ll get many more out, but I figured a quick commentary couldn't hurt lol and I hope this gave you some enjoyment :) 

@dawn-speckled @bewilderednobody @scattered-stardust @snek-of-eden

[tazienimp]

ALRIGHT. MINECRAFT MOVIE REVIEW TIME. PREFACING THIS BY SAYING, WE ALL OWE MOJANG, THE BIGGEST FUCKING APOLOGY. WE JUDGED WAY TOO HARSHLY AND WAY TOO SOON. WE DESERVED THAT BIG FAT 'NO.' MOJANG GAVE US WHEN WE BEGGED THEM TO CHANGE THINGS. WE'RE SO FUCKING LUCKY THEY DIDN'T. HONESTLY WE DON'T DESERVE THEM AND I WANNA GIVE EVERYONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MOVIE A FUCKING PHAT KISS ON THE MOUTH. PLATONICALLY. BECAUSE OH MY GOD WE DON'T DESERVE THEM. EVERYONE APOLOGIZE TO THE MINECRAFT MOVIE TEAM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

No btw I'm not glazing them just cause i like minecraft. I genuinely went in thinking I'd fucking hate it and even rolled my eyes at the cute lil Mojang company screen because i was so convinced I'd hate it.

Lemme tell you guys something else. My top two favorite movies of all time, are The Dark Crystal, and 9 (the stitchpunk movie), and have been for years. THIS FUCKING SHOT ABOVE DARK CRYSTAL. DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING HIGH A BAR THAT IS TO CLEAR FOR ME?!?!?!?!?!?! I HAVE WATCHED 9 MORE THAN I HAVE THE DARK CRYSTAL MY ENTIRE LIFE, IT LIVES IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE CONSTANTLY, I NEVER GO A DAY WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT 9, AND 9 WAS STILL STUCK AT NUMBER TWO CAUSE I WAS AN INFANT THE FIRST HANDFUL OF TIMES I WATCHED THE DARK CRYSTAL AND IT RESONATES WITH ME SO HARD AND HAUNTED ME AS A KID TIL I WAS ABLE TO FIND IT AGAIN, TO THE POINT THAT NOTHING HAS BEEN ABLE TO TOP IT FOR ME, EVEN IF IT IS OUT OF PURE NASTOLGIA AND CHILDHOOD COMFORT. IT IS LITERALLY THE MEPHY OF ALL MOVIES FOR ME, I JUST RETREAT INTO THE SAFEST BUNDLE OF COMFORT WATCHING IT.

AND THE FUCKING MINECRAFT MOVIE CLEARED BOTH OF THEM. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, I HAD MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AFTER IT WAS OVER, WHIMPERING, 'IT HAS NO RIGHT TO BE THAT GOOD, WHY THE FUCK IS IT GOOD!?!?!?!?' BEFORE ANYONE ELSE EVEN LEFT THAT AUDITORIUM. AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THIS, I OVERHEARD A FEW PEOPLE WHO HAD WATCHED IT AT THE SAME TIME I DID TALKING ABOUT HOW IT HAS CLEARED MOST HIGH PRODUCTION THINGS THEY'VE EVER WATCHED AND I WATCHED THEM FRANTICALLY TEXTING PEOPLE ABOUT IT, AND TWO OF THEM ACTUALLY HAD THE PEOPLE PICKING THEM UP STEP OUT OF THE CAR SO THEY COULD TELL THEM HOW GOOD IT WAS BEFORE LEAVING. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT STEAMROLLED BY HOW GOOD IT WAS TODAY, THIS IS INSANE.

Okay okay okay. So, under the cut here are purely spoilers for the movie, basically just my favorite parts, I'm also not going in order of things that happened either, so, if you don't want to get spoiled, do not read, and i honestly highly recommend you watch the movie first, like it's so worth it. Please trust me it is so good.

THEY START IT OFF, WITH A CREEPER ICON, AND THE CREEPY CAVE NOISE. AND THE CUTEST WITTLE FUZZY CREEPER COMES ON SCREEN?!?!?!?!?! LIKE THEY ACTUALLY MADE THEM THE MOST ADORABLE THINGS IN THE MOVIE I NEED TO HOLD THEM THEY'RE SO BABEY. AND THEY'RE NOT EVEN HOSTILE IN THE MOVIE?!?!?!?!?! THEY JUST BLOW UP IF YOU HIT THEM AND IT'S SO SAAAAAAAAD AAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH

Anyways so five seconds into the movie, we see a child Steve basically facing off against the Sonic MCU's Crazy Karl, in front of a cave entrance that has a sign saying no kids allowed. AND I SHIT YOU NOT?!?!?!?!?! STEVE GOES 'I am Steve. And as a child, i YEARNED for the MINES!!!' I ALMOST HAD A STROKE HEARING THAT, I PROMISE I'M NOT FUCKING MEMEING IT ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENED I WAS FLOORED

A thing i really super liked, btw, is that, they leaned HEAVILY into the game mechanics. Like the throwing blocks into place with a snappy jerk of the hand was so fucking cool?!?!?!?! And the crafting table was fucking awesome, they put the lil resources on the table and then whacked it and BAM Item crafted. They also used so many in game tricks that like, veteran players use so freely like breathing in air and it felt so freaking natural it was so so cool, like Steve taught Garbage Man (that's literally his name) the water bucket trick, and later pelted a piglin with chicken eggs, it was soooo cool, WE ALSO GOT TO SEE THE ELYTRA AND WATCHING THEM FALL AND THEN IT FLARING OUT?????? LOOKED EXACTLY HOW IT FELT USING THEM THE FIRST TIME MYSELF IT WAS SOOOOOO COOOOOL

I will say, they completely ignored the fact that there's a limit on what you can build, but tbh that was super cool. For example, they literally made an iron golem, but instead of being the normal kind, they used these like, haste boots (I'm still not used to modern minecraft so i apologize) with lil wings on the side of em, and the kid, slapped the boots down instead of the typical head piece, and basically made a super fast Optimus Prime-esque blue iron golem that was the biggest of all the army they'd made, i fell in love with that thing the moment i saw it it was SO cool.

OH BTW, FUN FACT, I never watched Dream SMP, but i had heard of TechnoBlade and what happened to him. But apparently, so had Mojang. There was a pig that like, walked out and he had Techno's crown, and one of the characters asked if that was a pig and Steve went 'No.... That, is a legend.' AND MY JAW, HIT THE FLOOR, I WAS SO STUNNED, IT WAS SO FUCKING SWEET AND SUDDEN WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION GIVEN OR NEEDED, LIKE, OH MY GOD, AND I WASN'T SOMEONE WHO WATCHED THE GUY BUT THAT JUST FELT SO LOVING AND SWEET AND RESPECTFUL????? IT HAD ME IN TEARS

Btw i ship Steve and Garbage Man. Steve literally gave him the name GarGar, while no one else gave him a nickname, and they got along so well even when they were bickering, and there was literally a 69 gag in there that lasted 2 minutes for plot reasons because it was the only way to save their lives, and i thought that was so fucking funny, and they were both in tears when saying their initial goodbyes, they ended up so very fucking close, and even formed a little band together at the end, and Steve helped Gar save his shop, it was really sweet and wholesome and they were absolutely gay and pining for each other, it was so cute

ALSO THE FACT THAT THE PRINCIPAL LADY GOT WITH A VILLAGER AS A RANDOM B PLOT SPLICED IN EVERY SO OFTEN WAS SO FUNNY. SHE LITERALLY SAID LIKE, THREE TIMES HOW SHE GOT DIVORCED BY HER HUSBAND, AND SHE HITS A FUCKING VILLAGER WITH HER CAR ON ACCIDENT AND GOES 'You're not gonna sue me, right? People like to sue me when i hit them with my car, can i take you to dinner instead?' AND LIKE THE WHOLE TIME HE'S MAKING VILLAGER NOISES AT HER OR JUST STARING AT HER, AND SHE'S LIKE YAPPING AND BEING ALL LOVEY DOVEY TOWARDS HIM, AND YOU COULD ABSOLUTELY MISTAKE HIM FOR BEING UNCOMFORTABLE BUT SHE MENTIONS TAKING HIM HOME FOR 'DESSERT~' AND HE WIGGLES HIS UNIBROW AT HER A N D - GOD- WHEN I TELL YOU I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY POPCORN LIKE THERE AIN'T NO WAY. AND THEN LATER THE EX HUSBAND SHOWS UP, SEES THIS BLOCKY MAN WITH HIS EX WIFE, AND GOES 'THIS IS THE THING YOU GOT WITH?!?!?!' AND THE VILLAGER JUST STARTS SPEAKING FULL ON ENGLISH, OUT OF NOWHERE, AND WAS LIKE 'When your ex wife hit me with her car yesterday, it felt as though i had been hit with the strongest feeling of love I'd ever experienced' AND LITERALLY IN FRONT OF HER EX HUSBAND, THE VILLAGER ASKS HER TO MARRY HIM AND SHE SAID YES?!?!?!?!?!?! LIKE THE EX HUSBAND GOT CUCKED BY A VILLAGER IN REAL TIME, LIKE THIS ENTIRE MOVIE WAS COMPLETELY ABSURD AND IT KNEW IT WAS ABSURD AND PLAYED IT COMPLETELY STRAIGHT THE WHOLE TIME AND I LOVED EVERY FUCKING SECOND OF IT.

ALSO DUDE, WHEN STEVE SANG THE GOODBYE SONG TO HIS DOG I FUCKING CRIED, AND THE REST OF THE MOVIE I WAS SNICKERING IN THE THEATER OR MY JAW WAS HITTING THE FLOOR IT WAS SO FUCKING WILD, LITERALLY THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE I'VE EVER FUCKING SEEN

OH AND THE DESIGNS. THEY ARE SO FREAKY AND WEIRD AND TERRIFYING AT FIRST (execpt the Creepers THEY WERE SO CUUUUUTE!!!!!!! And the one Enderman that showed up was hot, GOD i love him, but then again i love them all), BUT YOU GET USED TO THEM UNBELIEVABLY QUICKLY. I WAS HORRIFIED BY THE VILLAGERS SPECIFICALLY AT FIRST BUT I CAME TO ADORE THEIR DESIGNS WITHIN LIKE, 5 MINUTES OR LESS.

AND ALSO EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER, I EXPECTED TO HATE, GAR BEING THE ONE I THOUGHT I'D DESPISE THE MOST. GAR ENDED UP BEING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, AND THE ONLY CHARACTER I DIDN'T CARE FOR YET STILL DIDN'T HATE WAS THE FUCKING SISTER. LIKE- I WAS ATTACHED TO THESE CHARACTERS THE SECOND I SAW THEM ON SCREEN IN THE MOVIE AFTER HATING THEM SO MUCH WHEN I WATCHED THE TRAILERS. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW!!!!!!!!

Anyways so that's my review, it's very fucking good, I'm so glad they didn't change a damn thing, everyone should go watch it, fucking support them cause i need a second one, you will not regret it XDDDDD

K love you aaaaaaaaall~!!!!!!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[dccomicsbracket]

Batgirl (2000)

Perhaps my single favourite piece of writing in the comic book medium. This was my introduction to Cassandra Cain, and is the perfect place to get into her. Everyone should read Batgirl #19, and bask in the way it lays out the core of Cass' character with surgical precision. Puckett's Cass is fascinating: a fine balance of absolute confidence in her ability, crushing guilt about her past, a desperation for redemption and to see others redeem themselves, and a fundamental belief in the preservation of life. 1st batgirl on going, very good overall run, do it for Cass everyone its quite literally required reading for cass, babs, and steph. the way kelley puckett is able to explore cass’s character through her relationships with the other bats and the parallels between her and bruce is actually insane. theres so many little details in the visual story telling as well that just make the experience that much better. the fluidity and expressiveness of the art also adds on to the overall experience. it is literally DCs magnum opus Life changing series.

Young Justice (1998)

It's 6-8 fifteen year olds living in a cave, and their only adult supervision is a robot wind machine one of them graffiti-ed all over within the first five minutes of meeting him. The only two with anything even RESEMBLING normal childhoods are the demigod and the son of two billionaires (literally just some guy). They have an alien motorbike and at one point they save the world from aliens by playing baseball. Everyone in it is just so stupid all the time and I love that for them (god bless 🙏) Never has a comic quite that batshit and quite that sincere graced my presence I just love it and I enjoyed reading it

Blue Beetle (2006)

Just a good introduction to a character with a satisfying conclusion. I love you, Jaime, a guy who's just trying to do his best for his loved ones and his local community. I love you Khaji Da, scrungly lil dude speaking in glyphs. I love you, Brenda, and your complicated relationship with your aunt who adores you, but is also a crime lord. I love you Paco, a genuinely good friend. I love Jaime's family and the way they all adjust to Jaime being a superhero. I love the effort made to portray Jaime as a person with community and connections. i looove jaime sososo much he's such a fun protagonist and the developement of his character + his relationship w khaji da is sooo interesting and well written. i love seeing him bond with his little alien bug parasite !! all of the side characters are also so great like brenda and paco are so fun and la dama is suuuch an interesting character. jaime's family is also so lovely they clearly care abt jaime so much and its nice to see a kid superhero with parents who respect and also deeply care abt their kid. the art is also very fun overall its just a really stellar run Quite honestly one of the best written comic runs I've ever read, DC or otherwise. It flips so many standard comic book tropes on their heads and does it well. The main character is the epitome of just some guy and he is my favorite of all time. AMAZING characters. Fresh perspectives on comics tropes that are so overused it's hard to imagine comics without them. Everyone is worthy of respect and treated with dignity, even the villains. Khaji Da's character arc is amazing. And the adults make me laugh so much. Guy and Peacemaker as mentors who IMMEDIATELY recognize this kid is FAR more emotionally mature then they are, so they're not going to bother with that side of mentoring!

[osaka-lilac]

can you recommend any good lance posts or fic to read?

oh. oh. oh boy do i have some fic recs for YOU

if anyone who sees this has other recommendations, please feel free to respond in the tags or in the replies! hope you enjoy - and welcome to lance nation!!!!

(i will try to keep it not just a strollonso fic rec list, yes they're my main but i don't want to give a biased list to the masses. this is a lance fic list, not just strollonso.)

so. without further ado...

allie's lance fic recs (in no particular order)

steak and other strange situations | lance/yuki | G | @lil-shiro

-> bet you didn't expect a rare pair ship as my first recommendation, huh? frankly i love the characterization that ann has utilized here - just a guy that wants to get to know people. simple yet effective!

gone before sunrise | lance/fernando | E | zeolyte

-> oogh this one is a real kicker. i couldn't tell you why my stomach churns while reading the middle of this piece. you can really feel for lance in this one and yes it does end happy (as most if not all of the fics in here will have in common with), but if you are okay with explicit material, this is a must read.

baby hotline (please hold me close to you) | lance/esteban/mick | T | @shovson

-> woohoo my ot3!!!! we dont get to see a lot of this pairing per se, but we get a lot of seb & lance running the iconic baby hotline, an advice service lance starts to help others with anything they need, like mick and estie once did for him. lovely cameos from multiple drivers.

press enter and send it | lance/esteban | E | gothic_sevgilim

-> HOO BABY is this one HOT. office au in which lance is the sassy trainee of esteban, a minor manager at lance's father's company. the tension in here is NUTS man

between your collar and your jaw | lance/sebastian | E | @hurricane-heatt

-> if you know me you know how much i fuck with cowboys. THEN you should by association know that i would never pass up a cowboy au. THIS is what a cowboy au should look like. passionate, yet leaves you in a cloud of dust by the side of the dirt road, knowing you'll never see this man and his steed again.

clerestory | pierre/charles with a side of lance/fernando | E | @nobrakesdown

-> woah. i thought this was a lance fic list?? this is our wildcard for the list. lance only appears in this fic as a historical figure in the wild royal mystery pierre is studying as he heals from an injury after a major crash. frankly i just wanted to add this one because it genuinely is one of my favorite fics on the site and since it vaguely has lance in it, i will be including it

never too soon | lance/george | G | @userkritaaay

-> stressed unstoppable force george meets relaxed immovable object lance. this is just lance and george suffering together after singapore 2023. delightful

you're my fucking hero: the critic's review | lance/fernando | M | me. i wrote this

-> finally, who would i be on this site without a bit of self promo. the love labor of @no00000000's wonderful dirtbag au, in which lance learns to live and pursue his own passions after a run in with a rough criminal, fernando. it is formatted as a movie review for a hypothetical movie, inspired by the essays i would write while in my history of film course years ago.

[fuckinmf]

Apology Tour was so fucking good. I've seen a lot of stuff overly critical of it and honestly?? I don't care!! Stop fucking watching if you hate it!!! We don't need you in our fucking fandom space!!!

That aside, no matter what, I think it was genuinely well-written angst and I'm glad we still got some comedic moments, even slightly during sad scenes. Stolas is a bit of a hypocrite sometimes and he's not the best person but he's my little guy and I love him regardless. I am so happy that other guy came in to dance with him, because he deserves to be happy!!!!

Oh and Blitzø. He is so toxic to himself and others, and that's hard to say cause a while ago, he used to be my favorite. But I hope he starts getting better, and I hope he genuinely tries to improve the way he treats others and himself. Because he has such potential to be the silliest lil guy and I believe in him 🙏🏻💪🏻

One last thing: I LOVE VEROSIKA!!! I used to be pretty neutral about her but she's really awesome and I wish her the best!! Her little talk with Blitzø was so eye opening for how he really hurts people, and why she's so bitter about it.

Anywho, sorry for the rant, probably favorite episode of this season so far. I think it's right under Truth Seekers for my favorite episodes and that's saying a LOT. BOMB ASS SONGS TOO, LIKE HOLY SHIT THEY'RE SO GOOD

[myfemmeb0yfriend]

i love being cared for and spoiled just as much as the next lesbian, but it's so important to do the same for the other person in the relationship.

helping them out when they've had a bad day, give them a shoulder to cry on or a neck to hide their face in, reassure them that they'll be ok no matter how much the world feels like it's crashing down on just them and them alone. or if they're not that much into physical touch, just lending an ear helps. even if you can't give them great advice, just being there and letting them get their bad day off their chest says a lot, and it means even more. and some people don't like to talk about their bad days. that's ok too. sometimes it's just space that they need but sometimes they just need to be distracted from their bad day. indulge in some of their favorite hobbies with them, watch a comfort show/movie of their's, cook them their favorite meal.

remembering the little things and doing them just because. adding in small details that you've remembered they hold so dear to their heart for whatever reason. it always feels good to know you're actually being listened to.

can we pls normalize femmes paying for stuff? just a little bit???? please queens/kings????? listen guys, i'm not complaining if you want to take care of me financially, i am a broke bitch! but WHEN i do have money, (not very often😞) at least let me buy you some ice cream with it or SOMETHIN'- PLEASE! i know ice cream isn't a super big responsibility but it's always felt weird to me seeing the relationship dynamic where one person supports themselves and their partner financially, and the partner doesn't even reciprocate it occasionally???? THIS IS NOT ME DEMONIZING THIS LIL DYNAMIC OR WTV, i just personally do not vibe with it. but do whatever makes you happy, bbgs. i know there are other ways of taking care of someone other than supporting them financially but i'd love to even be able to do it just once in a while, if not all the time. (all the time is not likely bcs once again i can't save money for shit....)

i know i mentioned this for like five seconds in my first or second lil paragraph but cooking is such a reassuring thing to do. cooking someone their favourite meal or just any meal is a love language that we look past too often and i am sick of it!!!!! (this is coming from someone who tried to make homeade hamburger helper with burrito beef two nights ago btw... don't look at me.) it's such a quiet way of love admittance. but then genuineness is there and it's abundant. mostly if your partner is of culture, i bet that would be an amazing and quite heartwarming surprise for them to see. (meow:3)

i could go on and on and on about reciprocity but it's 2am and i don't feel like writing anymore...

⁻ this post was made by a minor, mdni accs dni!

[waytootiredforthistoo]

been getting a lot of comment replies recently (obviously) and they're my favorite thing, but I wanted to share a few of my absolute most favorite things I see in comment replies that I find so endearing

when someone types a sad sentence followed by '3' and I know they actually put '< / 3' but the angle bracket and the forward slash got eaten by the HTML processor. 10/10, I love it. (I try to remember to use <\3 for broken hearts in my comments, but i'm 100% guilty of the sad '3' from time to time, and I can't help it, I love him)

when i get a notification that someone replied to one of my comments, and then like 8 hours later i get another notif that they edited their reply and the only change was like, a spelling mistake or moving a comma (i too love to re-read my comments and cannot abide my own typos, but if you do this, I will be comparing the two emails to figure out what you changed. I'm so sorry, I cannot help it.)

when someone goes line for line and replies to literally every paragraph of my comment in a row. i love you so much. this is my favorite thing, it's like a lil treat <333

when someone makes up a lil nickname for me bc they recognize me when I come back to comment again on another work/chapter. Most ppl call me 'Tired' (accurate, tried and true, can't go wrong), but I've also gotten 'YOU' (the all caps is v menacing, but accurate. I am me), 'legend' (flattering, perhaps a bit much, let's try 'friend' instead), and 'Way' (objectively the funniest way to shorten my handle). Either way, it's very sweet and I appreciate it. at some point i will come up with an internet name, but my real name is... distinctive, and anything else feels like lying? idk

when ppl told me they cried. had no idea y'all were being serious about that one! thought it was a figure of speech, but i ran a poll and apparently a full quarter of you guys are crying actual tears?? another 50% said legitimately emotional and/or misty eyed, which is mind blowing to me, but so kind. I like the reminder that this fandom can evoke strong and genuine emotions in ppl. I think that's fandom at its best

Anyways I love fandom so much. I love fic, i love comments, i love hearing back from authors, I love all of it. Everyone should leave more comments i think. yeah.

(i'm almost done w all the femfest works, so if anyone has other recs for underrated writers who could use some love, or if you want to promote your own work, lmk in the comments bc i'm going to be looking for stuff to read next week <33)

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom Observation Funny tags: One Piece Marines

Due to character limits, the funny tags post has had to be broken up into multiple parts

This post contains the tags for all the Marines plus Cipher Pol. I ran into a little issue with character limits again because someone, and they know who they are, got carried away with their love of smoker. At least they're entertaining, plus I don't mind. They're one of my favorite followers because of their tags

Admirals

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him" “akainu looks like a toxic yaoi seme in a yakuza story (this is hot) (100% would let him do to me what toxic yaoi semes do to poor unfortunate ukes)” “akainu is too wide and stiff. He'd probably loosen up if I gave him a blowjob but I wouldn't because he's ugly and a bad person” “I like scars.” “proof that a beard can change men” “yo sakazuki is hot PERIODT. However post-ts has a little goatee and that's fucking sexy as shit love that love you daddy sakazaddy yum” “My baby daddy looks hot in both versions though😍😍😍” “pre timeskip because he's only a cop then and not the head of all cops” “are people voting like literally hotter? cos that burgundy outfit has only been worn better by Doflamingo and the sakazuki camellia (like that’s its actual cutivar-synonymous with Sakazukiba apparently) like I’m guessing it’s the fire joke cos I love pink and red together and it’s one of the few redeeming features of akainu well he’s still got the camellia in the second but it’s striking in the first against the red” “reblogging bc this is the funniest picture of akainu ive ever seen bless u op reminds me of the ‘mom says it’s my turn on the xbox’ memes”

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Kizaru: “We are losing but we are free Borsalino” “Borsi Baby” “

Sengoku: “Sengoku is no villain” “Don't think he gets enough love especially since he's probably packing”

Ryokugyu: "I'm a sucker for plant/earth based powers, can't help it. Plus he's got the lovely shirt allergy. And he is genuinely better looking than Volcano Gru.” “

Shockingly, no Kuzan yet if anyone would like to change that

Vice admirals

Doll: “not to be a marinefucker but if doll doesn't win i call conspiracy” “VOTE VICE ADMIRAL DOLL she'll punch you so hard your grandparents will feel it but thats kinda hot so” “doll is stupidly hot hot take shes hotter than boa”

Garp: “garp all the way his scottish accent does it for me and the salt and pepper look” “Objectively? Garp. However he loses points for being a pig” “uh oh i have gender envy for garp but” “I just have to clarify, because I went through the tags. That is not a Scottish accent you're hearing from Garp, it's Welsh. Vincent Regan is Welsh, which is still a Celt but completely different from a Scottish. For starters, you can understand him and that is the biggest hint that it's not Scottish you will ever get.” “monkey d garp should show me what the d in his name stands for” “garp lost this because y'all are FUCKING COWARDS don't worry gramps i got ya

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him",

Smoker continued: “daddy smoker you may not win any fights in op but you CAN win this poll <3” “Smoker there's zero competition sorry. i think i got pregnant just watching him in punk hazard.”  “Smoker? I hardly know 'er-” “gotta add to that wonderful smokersweep 👀✌️✨” “smoker for the voice and drive” “while i am usually a horny demented sex freak, smoker is cool because of his moral compass, the way he treats regular civilians, and the rack of cigs he keeps on him 24/7” “Why is Smoker attractive? Excuse me, he is 6'10 and exudes Daddy Dom energy, and due to his logia fruit, he comes with his own unique form of bondage. Smoke cuffs, anyone? I want to be his naughty little Marine or pirate, whatever he's into. I also think there could be some other kinky implications of his devil fruit, but I won't get into it here. I'm already gladly going to horny jail for this” “SINCE WHEN WAS SMOKER 6'10???” “That intro should be enough to persuade anyone. That Smoker is the bestest boy. Then post time skip he became the beefiest boy” "Listen. Smoker's a big muscular man who's canonically good with kids. He also refuses to NOT walk around bare chested” “can he stub those cigars out on me. please. please. plea- [comically large piano falls on me, cutting off my speech]” “a part two to my smoker defense, now that ive been given permission to talk about his dick: the man is the definition of a service dom. he could be mean, sweet, whatever you want. whatever you *need*. as others have mentioned, he's tall as fuck. he's built like a brick shithouse. he could manhandle you, fuck you against a wall, hold you up in front of a mirror, countless other positions... and the smoke. position awkwardness is no longer a thing. your partner can't reach something? not anymore ! smoke hand ! and, of course, the gags, the handcuffs, the blindfolds.... all made of smoke.... is it not intimate, to have restraints be made of your partners own powers? i'm not even into daddy kink but if he asked me to call him that? i'm down. would do anything for this man / would let this man do anything to me. also just look at him and tell me his dick's not as thick as a beer ca- [i am pushed into oncoming traffic]” “come on. you can't look me dead in the eye and tell me you don't think smoker would make a great father. Due to this, i would gladly let him rail me into a wall while im gagged with his smoke until im stuffed fuller than luffy during his fight with croco in alabasta.” “wdym I'm older than Smoker ??!!” “He's a gruff tough guy who if a girl walks into him and drops her ice cream, he'll buy her extra scoops.” “hes buff hes gruff he wont take no guff hes got the right stuff” “I just yelled so loud bc smoker? a baddie? I mean I guess but 😭😭😭” “if smoker is a villain then by god im fucking the evil hes not a villain???? hes my babygirl. who im going to get pregnant or the other way around im not picky” (Note: 70% or more of the smoker section was made up of tags by one person. That person was @badtzbot. If you want to thank them)

Tsuru: “tsuru is a queen” “im gonna be so honest with you. six-foot-eight gilf appreciation hours” “tsurus so hot gilf of all time”

Other Marines

Helmeppo: “y'all are sleeping on helmeppo” “everyone forgot about a certain sword scene mhmm you fools”

Hina: “it's hina 100% hello? have you heard her voice?? also she smokes (not hot to me irl. very hot in fiction)”

Koby: “Koby tf?? Hr got them sad wide eyes n I love that for him He's like a pink baby cat I wanna squeeze n hug him”

Tashigi: “i love tashigi i will forever love tashigi FUCK YOU GUYS she's my BABYGIRL !!!! how can you not fall for that autism sword rizz that heart of gold and strong moral compass she shares with smoker her cute little face….. she could probably benchpress me man shes probably super strong i want to take her out on a date and compliment her and fluster her and and and” “The Tashigi agenda is dying…”

Cipher Pol

Lucci: “good to see lucci and his stupid beard is in last place” “kind of want to be railed by his hybrid form so I have to vote for him”

Kaku: “if his nose is square does that mean his dick is too? just asking”

[isa-ghost]

*breaks down ur door* ramon n phil hcs perhaps?

YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Phil headcanons masterlist

If Ramon knew where Phil was from, he'd desperately want to see the Hardcore World builds (not that Phil canonically built them), and all of Phil's farms (now those he DID build).

If Phil knew Create it'd be fucking OVER for the Federation, with his and Ramon's powers combined and the additional insanity that Tubbo and Pierre can bring? SHEESH.

Of the OG eggs that aren't his own, Ramon is Phil's favorite, but he'll never say that.

Hot take but (before Fitpac was anywhere near close to being a thing), Phil was the one standing in Spreen's place. At least early on, with how often he & Chayanne would join Ramon & Fit on adventures.

Ramon's death on that airship was the first moment it REALLY struck Phil that the eggs can die. Like that's a reality, not just a scary unlikelihood or something. It can and will happen in the blink of an eye.

Phil absolutely adores the way Ramon became such a fierce protector of the other eggs, especially his sisters. It's always touched him how adamantly Ramon fights to give his siblings the most normal childhood they can. He just wishes the lil guy would acknowledge he deserves that too.

Actually on that note I could write a whole ass analysis of how Phil and Ramon can sometimes think/operate similarly, but I'd have to binge a bunch of Ramon moments to get enough material. But like. Do you see my vision? With the way they're both self-sacrificial to sometimes detrimental degrees?

Present day, one of the memories that gives Phil the most bittersweet nostalgia for the "good days" on the Island are the ones where he & Chayanne and Fit & Ramon would be wandering the savannas just exploring and looting random shit. It was nerve-wracking, yeah. Every adventure with the eggs was, this is Mr. Hardcore we're talking about here. But there's something so special about the banter with Fit while they watched Chayanne & Ramon demolish whatever mobs they encountered.

Speaking of demolishing mobs, there is something so inexplicably and unreasonably funny to Phil about watching Ramon (or Dapper or Pomme for that matter) absolutely STACKED in a suit of armor or carrying some massive fuckoff weapon when he is just the littlest guy 🤏🏻🤏🏻 Like the absurdity of this funky lil orb creature with obnoxiously chunky armor and the world's bulkiest weapon is just Comedy Gold to Phil.

Although Phil only ever knew surface level stuff (if that), if he ever heard the extent of how ride or die Ramon was with Fit & his secrets about Whatever (data collection, Madagio, etc), it'd give Phil a whole new level of admiration for him.

Bird brain mimicry sometimes made Phil say "Ramon" with a (badly, Britishly) rolled R the way Fit always would.

He wishes the eggs were around for the whole Maze thing because he guarantees Ramon would've found some kinda way to either Create his way to a solution or brute forced it. That kid would've 100% cracked the code to that stupid fucking Maze.

Phil always loved the way Ramon was so observant. That kid would notice details of things or traits of certain people that nobody else would. Not only did it give him a special layer of thoughtfulness to put into the things he did for & gave to other people, but it's a valuable skill to have as a survivalist.

I can't believe I only just now thought if this one but Phil absolutely fucking TREASURES the way Ramon softened Fit up. He's always known Fit as this rugged, mysterious wild card with a dangerous streak, which– Don't get Phil wrong, he was & is down bad for it. But to see something finally put some long-term genuine warmth in those eyes and a smile lacking malice on that face? And for that something to be a brilliant, silly little kid that radiates the same kind of energy as Fit himself? Priceless.

If there was any egg Phil would consider capable of fending for themselves, it'd be Ramon. Ideally, no egg would ever have to. At least not forever. But if he had to name one he thinks could survive alone? Yeah, Ramon. And not just because he's the son of a 2B2T veteran.