#they're killing themselves at an underpaid job while i just sit around
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feelin a bit shit about my art however i usually do so it's not a development
(venting in tags n theres thirty of them soz)
#it's just Stronger right now#everyone i talk to abt it has told me to jst keep doing it n not to give up but alas#it feels genuinely useless to keep going#i cant draw as well as others in my age range or even younger#n what i make doesn't get attention#which i know is very superficial to say but when it's the only possible way for me to make money#when im disabled lacking education credentials and unfit for work#it getting shares and attention is the only way i can even do things#n it feels so shitty to sit around n do nothing meanwhile my partner is doing all it can to save money so i can get out of the environment#im in#they're killing themselves at an underpaid job while i just sit around#like. i heavily applied to jobs every single day for months even after finding out i was unfit for work#n no one in this town is hiring despite saying they are#n even if i do get hired im going to have a meltdown in the middle of the job n then have to quit bc ive reached hospitalization levels of#mental distress#art is all i have and it's worth nothing#even on my instagram that got at least a consistent amount of ten to twenty likes despite 100+ followers is getting less now#it's hard to not feel like your art is shitty when it's like. just bad in general n gets ignored#but there's nothing i can do about that#i cant Make people share my shit#i dont Want to Make people share my shit#i want it to be genuine#i dont know. i dont want to work on anything big anymore#or even out effort in small drawings bc who cares#it's the same process that happened w being on twt like#i tried so hard to interact with my friends n it didnt do anything so i just lost motivation#n left#maybe i need to leave art too idk#it's so upsetting. n im sure this is all whiny and dumb anyway#other people work way harder than me and get even less
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