#they're both so spoiled istg

[bunnylouisegrimes]

Baking and Cooking for my F/Os literally goes like this:

Patrick: How many calories are in this? How much sugar did you put into these cookies? This pizza has waaay too much fat and garlic on it, I know you've got Italian in you, but for fuck sakes, this is too much! There's no way I'm gonna burn off all the sugar you got in this cake! I-

The Polite Leader: Oh, it smells wonderful in here! These cookies you've baked are so yummy! Oh, darling, this pizza is sublime! Oh, you baked a cake for me? Awww, you wish to feed it to me? Oh, most certainly, dear. I can burn all of this off later... I just wish to eat all these tasy treats you so generously cooked and baked for me and let you spoil me more (like I deserve ☺️)

[minhosimthings]

Girl Dad!Skz headcannons

Pairings: husband!Skz × wife!fem!reader

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff, mentions of pregnancy, reader wears a dress, mentions of food, teensy swearing

A/N: GUESS WHO HAS BABY FEVER AYY ITS THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. I am so DONE with watching my fav idols play with babies and not expect me to die. WHERE IS MY CHAN WHO'LL GIVE MR A BABY HUH? anyways enjoy my very drunken headcannons

Bang Christopher Chan

DID I JUST HEAR BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD

This man was born to be a dad istg

He'd be so amazing when you're pregnant, like he'd ask his mom for advice, give you belly rubs if your ask and will willingly lend his entire closet to you.

Would be so supportive through the birth process, is not disgusted or anything because he is him.

"She looks just like you."

Would be just a teensy bit overprotective, just a teensy bit.

"And you will bring her back by 7 yes? Oh and what's your address for unrelated purposes?"

*sends the address to Minho incase he needs to murder anyone*

Would be so comforting when she gets her period

"you know I used to do this to your mother.", While massaging her back.

The baby would grow up multilingual and Chan would be so smug about it

"my daughter is my second producer

Lee Minho/Lee Know

Would have such mixed emotions when you tell him you're pregnant

On the one hand A PERSON MADE UP OF BOTH OF YOU? WOAH

On the other hand OH SHIT A PERSON WHO HAS BOTH OUR GENES

Cooks all your weird ass cravings for you but not before giving you a side eye

"Alright y'all are gonna get a sibling." *Is talking to the cats*

Buys everything cat themed

"baby what if the baby is a dog person?"

Y'all have twins, a boy and a girl (manifesting my twin dad Minho fantasies)

Would dance for them when they're babies and would get elated when they try to copy him

Pouts when their first word is mama

Brags so much about them

"I mean they are MY spawn, obviously they're better at dance than your kid, Susan"

Seo Changbin

GIRL DAD GIRL DAD GIRL DAD

So elated when you tell him you're pregnant

PREGNANT CUDDLES KZKSNSNJ

Would be a 100% on board with lifting your belly to save your back

When you find out it's a girl, he straight on sobs.

"I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER PAIR OF ADORABLE YN EYES LOOKING AT ME"

Holds the baby extra carefully in his buff ass arms

She looks like you part 2

Tea parties with her are serious buisness for him

"jagi can't you see im currently discussing with the princess about her magical dragon I'll do the dishes later."

Would probably ask her if she wants to go to the gym with her dad and when she says yes he'd be so happy

"you're better than your mother she can't even lift her ass up and go to the gym"

Hwang Hyunjin

When I say this man would paint you a portrait when you tell him you're pregnant-

HE'LL PAINT YOU A FUCKING PORTRAIT

So sweet with you all throughout but also a nervous wreck

Much like me

Would love to paint your belly if you allow him to

Would try your weird cravings with you

And actually like them

Let's not pretend like Hyun doesn't do the pregnant woman pose everyday

Cries so hard when your baby is born

He doesn't mind the gender or anything, but when he found out it's a girl-

"GUYS ITS A MINI Y/N"

She looks like you part 3

Such a clumsy mess when it comes to taking care of her

ART CLASSES ART CLASSES ART CLASSES

"Darling, we painted this for you."

Han Jisung

Immediately freezes when you tell him

Jisung.exe has stopped working

"wait so the protection didn't.... Protect?"

Now Y/N.exe has stopped working trying to figure out whether you actually used protection or not

Talks to your belly all day

Treats the baby like a gossip partner

"girl you won't believe what Hyunjin did today."

"what did he do?"

"yn shush I'm talking to our baby girl."

Is your personal high school cheerleader during the birth

"jagi you are slaying right now you can do this."

Cries when baby is born part 3

Calls her a co-producer part 2

Spoils her shitless

She has him wrapped around her finger, much like her mother :)

Making playlists with her is his love language

Lee Felix Yongbok

Did I just hear breeding kink

Cries when you tell him

Bakes so many brownies when you tell him like one time that you're craving his brownies

Makes your weird cravings part 3

Idk what it is with me and DanceRacha making all your weird cravings

Runs you baths, with bath salts, bath bombs, scented candles and massages your aching muscles I WILL DIE RIGHT NOW

Is the best during the birth, holds your hand allowing you to squeeze it as hard as you want

Dresses baby up like the fashionista she is

Is so amazed and ecstatic when the baby gets an Aussie accent

"JAGI SHE JUST SAID BREKKIE"

Kim Seungmin

Tsundere daddy meow

Will literally melt like his face will be like 🥺

Buys all the cute stuff on day one

I'm talking cradles, blinkies, toys, bonnets for some reason

"of course she needs a ponyo outfit darling come on"

Tones down his teasing a bit

Still makes fun of your penguin walk tho

And if you cry, he will comfort you and never forgive himself for it

Is kinda disgusted by the birth process but he's a strong soldier

Cries when baby is born part 4

Like Kim Seungmin crying is a real thing chat

Singing lessons are free for her, and she has her dad's angel voice!!

Also inherits her dad's roasting style, and she's the only one who can roast him back hehe

He kinda died inside when she told him he was old (he's never been prouder)

Yang Jeongin/ I.N

Bruh this guy istg

Mixed emotions part 2

"IM TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A CHILD"

Calms down eventually (after a slap on the head)

BELLY RUBS

Spoils the shit out of you because obviously

Asks his mum for advice part 2

Sings to your belly at night when he thinks you're asleep

Secretly hopes baby will have his dimple

He loves kids, so parenting is a natural thing that comes to him

Probably more experienced at holding a baby than you are

Feeds her for the first few days when you're tired

Perfect husband honestly he should marry me

Loves braiding her hair and giving her fashion advice

Mini fashion shows!!!

Dances with her a lot

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Let's Eat!

(That is, let's live, want, connect... oh, you know what I mean by now)

I like how Yaad and the other living villagers can casually talk with the ghosts, because for all intents and purposes they were also ghosts... In fact, those who stayed and spent centuries going through the patterns of life even though all true meaning had been lost long ago were MORE "ghosts" than those who lost their corporeal forms because they wanted to escape so badly that they went wandering... That's so fuckin' good. I wanna eat this writing.

.

Kabru just randomly walking out of the bushes the second Laios starts considering politics...love him. He was summoned. His PR spidey senses were going off.

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look at my boy, establishing his own authority.

.

Lol this was me when we moved house last month, and my job was to just stand in the new living room and tell people where to put which box or piece of furniture. It's an important job in a task with a lot of people!

.

FUCK YEAH, THAT'S MY MAN! HE LOOKS GREAT!

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fucking love the trope of "one savvy friend in the crowd who deliberately gets a supportive chant going." Of course it's Kabru.

Though it's important to note that the first thing someone called was, "The demon-eater's here!", and there was muttering while no one was entirely sure if that was a good thing or not... Kabru didn't start the rumble of the crowd; the rumble of the crowd is unavoidable, and you have to be aware of that. Laios has always been aware of that, he's just never known what to do about it, and so tried to avoid it. But he's not avoiding it anymore - so Kabru started the hype of the crowd.

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They're both right! In order to eat, you need to kill! A memento of a meal IS a spoil of war!

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They're unhappy bros... /laughing

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Shown: man desperately reassuring himself, and psyching himself up to eat this stupid dragon meat

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DADCHUCK. Istg my father has said the same thing to me.

p.s. oh thank god he's fully dressed again. it was indecent.

.

Marcille is so resigned to this, and so...determined to see it as her own choice. "We all agreed", "I've got to go" - and I'm sure she does see it as her own choice, in a way, because this is how the world has always worked and she knows that. She knew that going in. Those who do ancient magic are arrested by the Elves of the West, that's just the "natural" consequence. She might've gotten away with it if she'd gone undiscovered, or if she'd stayed in the dungeon forever, but she didn't - she chose to pursue her craft, to save Falin, and to do everything after that, too, and so she implicitly chose the consequence with it. If it's unfair, well, thinking that changes nothing, so it's better not to think it.

Until Laios is like, "Actually, I might have political power now? And I'm SO goddamn tired of myself and people I love being punished just for being different, and interested in unconventional things. Let's try something."

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WELL-FUCKING-PLAYED! GET THEIR ASSES, LAIOS! It's especially great because I'm pretty sure he knows the answers to all of this by now? Power move!

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Is she sitting there completely nude except for jewelry and a short robe. Icons only, honestly. Though "we have the luxury of time" feels like so much of a threat from an elf.

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Hey, you did objectively defeat him! Okay arguably the Lion did but Laios did it first, he just also then talked to him, and got grabbed by friendly vine-tentacles. You didn't kill him, but that's not what Delgal asked for anyway!

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thinking about that post that observed that Thistle's driving madness was specifically getting Delgal home for dinner, to eat all together as a family again, and he wakes up to the sound of the people of the Golden Kingdom eagerly inviting the (new) king to eat, and him responding...crying... What is lost is lost, but life will go on.

.

The moment when a character decides to lie to another character for their own good is always so compelling. The little moral quandary microcosm.

.

So Yaad did know something of what passed between Delgal and Thistle, that drove Thistle down the path to dark magic. He know what it was his grandfather blamed himself for.

This is SUCH A GOOD AND QUIET-SAD DEATH SCENE, but as a consummate fan of 'actually, living is much much harder than dying, and much more interesting too', I do like to think Thistle lives and has to...figure out what to do with his life. And that 'what to do with his life' ends up including ancient magic mad science with Marcille.

...But honestly, even though that'd be fun for me, it seems almost cruel to Thistle. He's been alive for so long. Those he loved most are gone. He held the demon back from the surface, trapped in those books, for so long, even if it was in no way whatsoever with the good of the world in mind. If anyone deserves this peaceful death in (what he thinks are) his brother's forgiving arms, it's him.

.

Unfortunately, my love, as has been ceaselessly proven in this story: that's life.

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Marcille has caught onto one of the major themes! However, this story still isn't in favor of afternoon special Moral of the Story - not of letting the characters wrap things up with a bow, at least. You just go on living and wanting and learning about and connecting with and killing new things, forever! That's how it goes! You never know everything and you're always a little bit starving!

.

I really love this grumpy old man, and I want him to stick around and be one of Laios's advisors. He's an old gnome, he'll die as soon as an average tallman would anyway.

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This is a) very touching coming from Mithrun, who is only just regaining his own will to live, and b) almost tautalogical in this story EXCEPT that it is also clear that merely "wanting" doesn't mean you get to continue to live, it only means that you're alive in this moment - you also need to want to live MORE than whatever's trying to kill you wants to live.

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GREAT VISUALS!

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And then it's so small, so small that she could leave it behind entirely but Falin is still so kind that she picks it up anyway! Falin who looks at everyone and everything - ghosts and brothers and mad mages and dead dragons, the latter of whom were both violently oppressing her soul - and thinkgs "I gotta help." She's so good!

I'm really going to need to write a like 2k post-canon character study about how Falin has part of the spirit of a dragon in her chest which unfurls while she travels abroad and curls up again and hides when she's home with Marcille and especially with Laios, and how it's a metaphor for her own independence but also literally there is the spirit of a dragon. At the end of it she figures out how to nurture and commune with the dragon enough to have her own flight-capable wings.

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THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL-LOOKING. AUTOPHAGIC SELF-CREATION FOR THE FUCKING WIN!!

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YYEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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fuck it, have a collage, because this bitch-ass website is about to cut off my photos-per-post. It can't HANDLE the sheet joy of Falin resurrection reunion hugs!!

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so many people love her, or at least are really emotionally invested in this now!! /sobs

.

Lmaoooo

Laios: wracked with food poisoning because he ate raw walking mushroom Falin: great distress! Marcille: trying very hard to help, also thinking sooo hard that He Is An Idiot. [btw I love how it looks like she takes up holding her hair back with a band] Kabru: having his weekly moment, as he has for the past many years and will continue to have until he dies, of wondering if he shouldn't really have just killed this guy rather than let him become king

Kabru definitely wrote this whole ending narration btw. This is his press release from like 40 years in the future. And those kids! An orc kid and a kobold kid, and zooming out to show kids of other races, all playing together and going to lunch together!!

And then they all lived, and hungered and ate and killed and wanted and sought understanding and connected with one another and were part of the great circle of life, as happily ever after as one can get.

This story truly was delicious...in dungeon!

[writtenbyhollywood]

Can you do soft launching Lee byung-hun? 🙏 plz and thank you

soft launching your relationship with lee byung-hun

a/n: thank you for the request

─────────౨ৎ──────────

byunghun0712

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byunghun0712 ⚾️ #TheUltimatePlayground #캘리포니아관광청

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byunhunswife he’s way too fine

user45 did anyone notice how @/yourusername liked?

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userrr1 ahh he’s a baseball fan!!

iheartbyunghun the side profile 😩

yourusername

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yourusername who said I didn’t like baseball?

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ynfan you’re so pretty!!!

randomuser GUYS LEE BYUNG-HUN LIKED HER POST. I REPEAT HE LIKED HER POST.

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sh1tblog i live for your posts

trynagetfamous I LOVE YOU

yourusername

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yourusername little trip to New York 🙃

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yourfriendsuser so excited to see you!

mysticalgirl AHH NO WAY

evesworld guys this is the second time lee byung-hun’s liked her post 😦

user50 @/evesworld do you think they’re together?

evesworld @/user50 I lowkey hope so

iheartdilfs WHO IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT

maggieereadss @/iheartdilfs lee byung-hun! he’s an actor

byunghun0712

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byunghun0712 NY

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byunghunswifey okay this cannot be a coincidence

user12 @/byunghunswifey frl why r they both in NY at the same time?!?!

user18 idk why everyone thinks they're together like he's way older than her

randomblogger @/user18 there are worse age gaps in the world tbh

ynandbyunghun idc if they're not together I SHIP THEM

yourusername 30m

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yourusername this might just be my year ( I love spending it with the people I care for)

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yourfriendsuser I LOVE YOU clearly so does your man since he spoils u so much 😒

byunghunandyn @/yourfriendsuser ITS CONFIRMED OMG THEYRE DATING

hater @/byunghunandyn nothing is confirmed bro. she could be dating someone else

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yourfan dont listen to the haters!!

user55 did nobody else see her story before she posted this??

user12 @/user55 yeah the one where it clearly showed her being on a date. I swear ppl r clueless

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yourusername is this enough proof? *picture credit to me ofc*

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byunghun0712 my love

liked by author

byunghunswife I KNEW IT

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girlblogger actually so happy for them

anonymous thats actually mad weird

yourfan2 @/anonymous ur the only one that thinks that

yourfriendsuser im loving this

liked by author

yourfavblogger it was so obvious istg

[s1llydr3amscape]

My headcanons of the Reluctant Follower unmasked back in the day vs now :3 Valerie (2019) and Vanessa (2021) + Rare human art

Imma be real I was a bit disappointed at the Vanny is Vanessa twist because off how it got spoiled already by SteelWool and stuff but I'm fine with it now!!! But oughhh rip my old Vanny design you will be my oc now!! I think I was just bummed because they kept hinting at it and like the first human character revealed and the enemy being a furry is like huh istg if she ends up being the security guard... I think I wouldn't have mind if Ness had more screentime tbh!!

So back then I hoped Vanny was separate from Vanessa and they both had similar names so Glitchtrap wanted to frame Nessie for the murders due to it. Same with Glam Freddy and Greggy think it was Vanessa who was the bad guy at first like gasps Vanessa + Bunny = Vanny!! Also they're both fake blondes and dye their hair often!! (There's more to it but I'd end up rambling)

First time drawing textured hair digitally I hope to improve more on it in the future because oughh Vanny deserves it!!!

[dinxieyinxie]

Any nsfw headcanons about Sninx? 👀🔥

OH BOYO BOY I AM RUBBING MY HANDS LIKE A DEVIOUS FLY 😈

🦇SNINX NSFW HEADCANONS🦋

Both are a switch. Linx leans towards topping more tho bc he loves seeing Snape squirming and fucked out beneath him

Finger-sucking, an absolute nerve-wracker for Snape

Yonal is unashamedly vocal and Severus would earn a moan out from him every time he hits a certain sweet spot that always leaves him wanting more

Snape loves getting his hair pulled

Linx loves getting his neck squeezed (evident in the copious amount of art I have of snape holding his neck in some way 🥴)

Linx's weakness is his lower back up to his spine and only Severus knows it and abuses it

In revenge, Severus' weakness is his waist and Linx takes advantage of that

An idea:

There was an instance when Yonal needed to pass through where Severus was in the way, either talking to someone else or simply blocking the path, his hands would snake to the taller man's waist from behind, taking hold of his sides, even squeezing it a little as he mumble a small 'excuse me', and passing through as if nothing happened.

And every time is so worth the trouble, if it means he get to see his clenched jaw and twitching fingers underneath those long sleeves, unable to do anything, not even react.

HE'S A LOVER, HE'S A BITERRRR, Yonal would bite Severus out of boredom, on the arm, his cheeks, anywhere, and he gets a smack from him every time 💀

But in private, he loves to leave marks on Severus especially on his neck, shoulders, and inner thighs. He wouldn't admit it, but Sev absolutely enjoys it when Yonal sinks his teeth into his pale skin, creating those pretty purple hues and teeth lines

They torture each other in public which is so funny like mfs out here getting on each other's nerves - it's only a matter of time when one finally snaps and pins the other against the wall

Kinky stuff aside, they like to just lay in bed post-nut clarity. When Yonal doms, he takes care of Severus bc he deserves the best aftercares <333

He spoils Severus rotten. That man always gets the princess treatment istg

Yonal peppers Severus with soft kisses and even gives him a nice massage to loosen those muscles after a good, brain-melting fuck.

"Hush love, you've had a long day. Be a good boy and lie down. Let me take care of you tonight..~"

They're both givers, I wouldn't be surprised if their favorite position is 69

These bitches get so jealous, the possessive sex goes so hard its crazy

Snape loves everything but he most especially loves Yonal's huge tits, he uses them as his pillows. I know bc Yonal told me HSGDFGSD

I got nothin else in my noggins but i'll add more if I come up with something new >:)

[fandom-hoarder]

911 8x06

Last week, before I could watch the new 911 ep, some people on my dash spoiled me with untagged spoilers and I literally started crying. Because the way people were talking about it made it sound like there was biphobia from Tommy and a cheating storyline, and that supposition sparked my election depression--- was this an alternate ending based on election results? (a WILD assumption, i kept telling myself; nevertheless, the doomerism persisted); a sign of queer suppression in media in the coming regime? biphobia in general, which is so enraging as a bi person?

And, to be clear, these thoughts and worries are not Hen/Karen erasure. They're literally my favs. But it IS about the way bisexuality is often treated, both in media and irl, as if you have to choose one way to be. As if bisexuality is some sort of schrodinger's sexuality.

It turns out my extreme anxiety over it wasn't completely warranted, at least from my pov as a writer. But it took me a few more days to actually level out and watch it clear headed.

So before the new one airs, here's my copy/paste from my dm a few days ago to @supernaturalkickparty 😅

I gave in and started the 911 ep. I'm CACKLING at the end of the urn Omg. *Abby* I... ok i can see a straight line to breakup from this, but I'll have to see how it plays out Omg the next case is about divorce Josh is really cute in this ep Josh's speech has me verklempt Istg they just better not erase buck's bisexuality Omgodddddd we are NOT sending another little kid down lmfao this is gonna make me cry Goddd 😭😭💜💜 God. This is gonna hurt. God. Whyyyyyyy. God whyyyy does it have to be THIS "Believe me, I didn't see it coming either." GODDDDDDD I'm just so fucking glad it wasn't a breakup over cheating Eddie lmfao I'm so glad the mustache is gone😂😂 Lmfao omfg eddie opens the door to buck and he's in his underwear???? This is the fucking start of a fic. No wonder the buddies are being insufferable God please don't let buck's rebound be a girl. Just please. Please. Don't make it be all girls now :(((((

Anyway, I can see a decent resolution to this, and I'm hopeful it will go as well as I usually think of this show's storytelling---which is to say I think 911 does a pretty good job of weaving meaningful character arcs that tie in a bow by the end.

And even though I am still marginally worried about whether buck's bisexuality will be fulfillingly handled, I don't necessarily think this breakup is bad. Buck's thing is breakups as character growth; and while I did think that we were moving past that in his coming of age arc growing into maturity, and as much as I love bucktommy, I didn't really expect Tommy to be his last or for a breakup to be completely off the table. I expected one eventually, and not for buddie reasons.

I don't even really ship buddie in canon, or see an inevitable queer storyline for eddie (though i do love buddietommy, but y'all already know i always think there should be an ot3); I just figured there would be typical buck drama, and hey... I settled down and figured this is that.

And also... like, yes it's frustrating that Tommy broke it off because of the whole "i'm the only guy you've ever been with," but like...that expectation that Buck will end up breaking his heart isn't really bad writing. I wish there'd been more LEADUP to it (I still hope we'll get some actual tommy pov on this to sympathize with him and see where that came from, as they have tended to do in the past with character backstory), but the fear that as someone's first you won't be ENOUGH eventually is very real.

I was my partner's first, but he wasn't mine, so even when we got engaged I was like, "are you really ok with this?" And he said yes of course and i took him at his word, but it didn't immediately erase the feeling that I was taking experiences away from him lol. So I can really see where Tommy is coming from, despite my sorrow and anxiety about the remaining unknowns. But I do hope there's more to this.

[genericswordsmaiden]

I watched The World's End. I'm crying. It was a beautiful thing, truly. When Gary's motives finally unraveled I just started sobbing - empathy do really be like that sometimes.

The casting choices were brilliant: Rosamunde Pike slayed, Pierce Brosnan also joined the battle, and recurring actors were again very much appreciated, together with recurring gags. About the characters, I think I can say that I love every single one of them. Pete's past made me feel a bit sick - I was a victim of bullying too, even though I was lucky that it never got that much physical. Andy and Gary got my heart in a chokehold, they're beyond shipping to me.

Also I need to know if there are any fanfictions set after the finale! It was totally epic, and I was so fucking happy that I started crying even more! I thought back to Simon's own struggles with alcohol and I thought to myself "this is the best ending he could write for a story like this one 'cause it somewhat reflects him."

From a writing standpoint, it really is the best one because it combines the best parts of the other two movies.

Also, fun fact: it's the one with the best italian dub (opinion of a certified italian who only watched the first ten minutes in ita and then switched to english because I needed the full british experience) but on the trilogy blu-ray it says that both italian audio and subtitles are unavailable (meanwhile the other two movies have them) lmao

I don't understand why it's so underrated, honestly. I think if I had to rate the trilogy, this could very easily be interchangeable with Hot Fuzz on the top tier. Shaun is very good too, but I felt some kind of disconnect while watching it, for some reason I didn't get close to the characters as I did with the other movies.

So... yeah. This was, is, and always will be the Cornetto Trilogy. Now I can finally reblog one hundred posts about it without the risk of getting spoiled.

Also, did you notice a pattern for the last names of the main characters? Page, Chamberlain, Knightley, Prince, King? And the names of the pubs being actually relevant to the plot??? It's details like these that enhance everything. The (Nick) Frosting on the cake (I'm so sorry I had to lol). Anyway istg when Wright and Pegg started collaborating the planets aligned or something, because stuff this good is so incredibly rare!

[watatsumiis]

Hey hey hey so I saw a roommate au and istg I have so many ideas flooding in now-

ok so every one agrees zhongli would be a great roommates and super organised helpful the whole package but let’s say someone like razor not so much

( wait now I want to make an offering / head canon thingy on a character now-Imma probably do it)

What’s your take on this?

Sips out

Ohh I love roommate AUs they're so silly (/pos) I'd absolutely love to see your takes on which characters would be good and bad roommates!! I'm gonna toss my rambling under a read more since it got. long. Sorry :3

I actually imagine Razor wouldn't be too bad of a roommate, once he's been taught the proper etiquette and how to clean up after himself. He'll build cosy little blanket nests around the house and bring home food to share. If asked, he'll do his best not to track mud in, and to manage some of the more tedious chores. it'd be like living with a younger sibling i think

I think some of the best roommates would definitely be as follows:

Zhongli - organised and responsible, the chore schedule is always consistent and fair. He may invite people over every now and then but usually gives prior warning, plus they're mostly quiet.

Al Haitham - as long as you don't bother him, he tends to mind his own business and quietly stay out of your way, which is all you can really ask for in a roommate.

Jean - though busy, she's quiet. Keeps to herself and cleans up after herself, but she will not clean up after you. She's got a knack for tracking what belongs to who and sticks with it.

Diluc is also fairly diligent in cleaning up after himself and running a household (when he's home, that is), so he makes for a fairly good roommate, unless you have a habit of leaving things laying around, in which case they'll probably accidentally get thrown out in his 3am cleaning fits

The very best roommate though, without a doubt, would be Thoma. It's like having a live-in housekeeper. Chores are unironically one of his favourite hobbies/calming things for him to do. He always cooks enough serves for both of you, with some leftovers for whoever might want it the next day. He's so kind and caring too, always checking in on you. It's like living with an older brother who is also your best friend. Though he simply cannot handle insects of any kind -- he calls you in if there's any kind of creepy crawly about.

The worst, however, would likely be...

Kaveh. If you've ever had experience living with someone who has ADHD, you might know what I'm talking about. He has a certain semblance of 'blindness' when it comes to messes on the ground or things left in places they shouldn't be, which can get pretty rough when he's always the one leaving them there. He leaves art supplies, diagrams, cutouts, leftovers and magazines wherever they may lay and just walks off, never to pick it up again. Things always end up in strange, unexpected places, especially when he's multitasking. He also eats all your food.

Bennett. Not for lack of trying, he works really hard to be a good roommate, but things always seem to go wrong when he's around. Broken amenities, taps left on, windows left open, the whole works. He'll offer to do your chores on occasion but they'll often need to be redone because he missed a spot, forgot to put washing powder in, or even shrunk your clothes by accident.

Ayato. He's a spoiled rich boy with no idea how to clean up after himself or do his own chores. He can't even cook for himself. He's competent in so many other things, but the basics of being a good roommate seem to elude him entirely and he'll often try to find ways to pawn his chores off on you, even stooping as low as to bribe you. He can be a bit messy, too, and tends to leave things just laying around. Sometimes he'll get mad if you try to clean things up that he's still 'using' (even if he hasn't sat at the dining table for three days, he's super insistent that those papers need to stay spread out all over it, exactly the way they are.)

Childe is a complete and utter slob. To the point where it feels like it's intentional. He eats your food and doesn't even try to hide it, leaving the rubbish out in the open (like he's bragging) or haphazardly tucked between the couch cushions. He'll take things from your room without asking and invite people over without any forewarning (or even inviting you to the big family dinner he seems to be throwing). He'll do his share of the chores if he's prodded into it, but he'll bitch and moan about it the whole time.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.

[one-strugling-bean]

DSMP Fanfic Rec List because I’m bored Part 2

(IF YOU READ ANY OF THESE, DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT - even a simple "great work" or "this was a lot of fun" suffices, just  comment)

Happy Duo & Egg Lore (the fluffy and the saddy)

OrphanDuo + Skephalo AU by cawthelesbian 

Techno discovers the Skeppy cage and remembers Skeppy's claustrophobia, which leads him unable to keep his anger and disgust in check.

-

This series is what made me love these three dummies. Seriously, there's so much unexplored potential here.

I love how close Techno and Skeppy are, how much Techno cares for Skeppy despite how different they are, and that Skeppy is considered one of the few that have always been loyal to Techno. It's just sweet, ya know?

Adding Bad to this mix just makes it all that much better. Techno and Bad aren't very popular together, but I personally love imagining their possible interactions and how they view each other.

I loved getting Techno's pov on the Skephalo relationship as well - how Techno trusts Bad to take care of Skeppy because he's seen and been proven that they are that important to each other.

I can only wish this series gets continued at some point, or someone else picks up on the idea because I'd kill to see more of this concept.

___

What's a Skeppy? by 42starsintheuniverse

When he has the capacity to, Bad uses higher order thinking. In those times, he is well aware that the Skeppy is as much of an individual as he is. That it presumably managed for a long time before him, that it was good at surviving, and he’d come to learn, excellent at fighting and defending itself. The Skeppy is very capable. But Bad is nothing if not flawed, and one of his flaws is that he is very eager, and very happy when he finds things to collect. So he’d sort of... Unintentionally taken the Skeppy. It wasn’t a plan, exactly. He’d carried it home that first day and assumed it wanted to stay with him.

-

"For a long time, Bad thought all he would ever be was a Bad. But when a Bad finds a Skeppy, suddenly a Bad becomes... A happy." If this quote doesn't make you want to read the fic, I'm not sure you're okay, I'm sorry.

This fic is literally the cutest thing, istg. I dare you to try and find me something that's more wholesome.

Bad and Skeppy are both not-quite sentient creatures - Bad is a Nether demon, Skeppy is a diamond golem - who find each other by chance and just, connect and stick together and do shenanigans.

The genius of this fic for me is the "not-quite sentient" part. They're not people, they're creatures, and it shows. They remind me a lot of the dragons from HTTYD, as in they possess a higher order of thinking than a dog or a cat, while still being somewhere lower than a human. Does that make sense?

They can't communicate with each other the traditional way - aka, through speech - and so have to find ways to get around that, which is a trope I love.

Also also, this author is amaaaaaazing at writing Happy Duo, I very very much recommend checking out any of their other works - Flickering Flame and Your voice: The Sound of your Laughter are two of my faves, but really, all of them are more than worth a read.

___

My sunshine by Redbug

There's something wrong with the world around Bad, and reality isn't making any sense. No one is, and it's starting to eat away at his mind.

-

This series is pure pain and yearning. I'm not even trying to be funny, it simply is. Maybe it's because Bad and his "predicament" reminded me too much of a family member of mine, but this fic really just hit me like a truck out of nowhere.

I don't want to spoil much, but i love what the author did with Bad's backstory. Who he is, his connections with XD, how he got to have the life he does in the present. He's so tragic, it's painful to read all that suffering (but in a good way, because it's also beautiful??)

The way Rain cloud ended threw me for a loop a bit, but I think that might've been the point - it also made me cry actual tears, sooooo, there's that :p

But yeah, go read this right now if you feel like BBH-centric angst with lots of worried Skeppy, some functional Karlnapity, and a kind of confusing but still very envolving plot.

___

dripping with red gardenia by kirichin

A sardonic smile tugs his lips up as he watches the petals curl up, catch fire, and turn into ashes. He was sure there is a metaphor there somewhere, between his love and the pathetic flowers turning into ashes.

-

or Skeppy gets blessed with Hanahaki.

-

Happy Duo writers really do love their angst. And Hanahaki too, apparently.

Techno is MVP. He and Skeppy continue to warm my heart with their brotherly bond. Skeppy and Bad deserve all the hugs.

It's been a while since I last read this one, so I don't remember the plot too well, but I do remember I stayed up 'til 4am to finish it and I hate going to bed late, so I hope this speaks for itself on how engaging the fic is. Go read.

so this is love by Isi_Khan_3000

You’ve always been a clingy person – always had a hard time letting things go.

It’s not really all that surprising that that was your downfall.

OR, the Skeppy POV we all want and need (featuring some extra commentary from somewhen else.)

-

(Yes, I'm self-advocating, leave me alone.)

This was written immediately after the Egg Lore finale. It's basically my personal take on what Skeppy was up to while Bad was busy building himself a cult. It spans from his death by lava bath to him killing Bad after the Banquet.

It's sad, angsty, and full of my fave headcanons for their DSMP characters (which means lots of happy duo family). It is also my first try at writing 2nd person, so yeahhhhh, please give it a read, and feel free to yell at me in the comments.

Anyway, go check it out if it sounds interesting, please and thank you.

[baconcolacan]

KC interacting w/ everyone else gave me a stroke. Sorry for the swap asks, im just, im just too invested it'll be my demise. Anyways, ready?

1 how would Red and Blue (KC) react to THEMSELVES from regimen?

2 i was curious, does A.K. know about what happened to Tords arm and Toms eyes? Does he know the story behind his parent's quite important injuries? But most importantly, who caused them and how

3 look, i know i know, and i apologize in advance but hear me out, im just, just feeding your imagination- your creativity, yeah! Its, its for your sake..

..so, what if Church's Grimm met Stay and Regimen- I KNOW CG might not even be finished and its the least of your priorities!- but its so different- i cant help but wonder how the others would react to a younger version of them, that isnt in war, ruling, in the military, but are..different in their own way. Also we dont know much about them- And in this one, Tom is quite literally *dead* so im quite curious of how they'd face his spirit, or ghost (who probably has a supernatural power that could be dangerous..or useful..)

I hope you're doing well and taking breaks, you can skip last ask if it spoils too much or for whatever reason! Please remember to appreciate yourself, also know that Castling was fire and insanely fun to read! leader x leader au *chefs kiss* could go on about it for hours, istg you're really out to get us with that talent of urs

PHEW OK CONFERENCE TABLE ASKS LETS GO!

If Red met R.L. I think he'd be very understanding of why he's like that. They virtually have the same goals, although Red isn't as power hungry, he knows that he's more than willing to mutilate the entire world for his own selfish goals, which both he and R.L. will happily admit to. He might be a bit uncomfortable with how off the rails R.L. is mentally, but it's not like he has any room to really judge, he's not as sane and sound as he likes to pretend to be anyway....

If Blue met Tom. Well first of all, Tom wouldn't react too well to the fact that Blue is essentially a mirror of his own Tord, they're both military leaders with a proclivity to violence, and Tom is still at the stage where he's trying to justify everything he's ever done. Blue on the other hand, will happily admit that he's doing what he's doing for his own sake, and since when have we ever cared about other people? They mean nothing to us, might as well have some fun.

Blue thinks this version of himself is pretty funny for being so uptight about his "morals". Then again...he might still have something to lose, so he supposes that's just natural.

2. All AK was ever told when he asked about his parents' injuries was that it was an accident, and that it happened when they were out in an active war theatre. Tord wanted to admit that it was his fault, but Tom stopped him because, to be frank, it wasn't really his fault, he started the war sure, but he wasn't the one that sent the bomb towards them.

3. HSASFJ OK I'll just give a general answer to this for all the aus cause I cant write them all one by one at the moment.

I think, on the side of the Tords, they'd all be surprised that a clearly younger version of themselves (CG Tord is in his early 20s) is such a wallflower, cringing away whenever there are eyes on him or hiding as much as he can in his hoodie. KC and Stay Tord would be pretty sympathetic, Regimen Tord would be appalled at how "weak" he presents himself.

CG Tord just hates looking at them, they're all marked by death, the veil is touching all of their souls, and they're damned. What does that say about his own fate?

The Toms on the other hand, I doubt they'll be able to see their CG version, so I'll just stick with their reaction to CG Tord. KC and Stay Tom will think CG Tord is absolutely precious, more so with Stay Tom because he reminds him of when his husband was a shy little nerd bird teenager, always refusing to go outside to hangout with them unless it involved something he really likes.

Regimen Tom thinks he's creepy, especially because CG Tord would stare at him a lot.

God, what the fuck, now there's a stereotypical creepy ghost-seeing version of Tord who seems to be interested in him?? Fucking kill him now.

HAHAHA AND TY FOR LIKING CASTLING! I'm actually surprised that there isn't a lot of Red x Blue fics out there?? Like damn, I love a dynamic where they're on equal ground, why isn't there a lot more fics like that?? HKDSJFHHG FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

Awkward. They'd be awkward about it.

Let's say, hypothetically, they both get spat out into the Stayverse. Freakouts and initial explanations aside, Tord and Tom take advantage of their temporary presence to leave their son with them while they do RA stuff (after they vet them ofc, they dont just trust their son with anyone, even if it's another version of themselves.)

Red and Blue aren't sure how to react around AK, seeing as he's their son in another life. Red would definitely be the one whispering shit to Blue like; "Does he want..a hug? Kids like hugs right?? How do I- do I just open my arms or...?"

"No you fu-"

"Don't swear in front of the child, Blue."

"Piss off!"

They stop being awkward eventually because AK will force them to watch cartoons and build legos with him.

Regimen: :]

Stay: Well, of course they still have fights sometimes, and they're both bullheaded and too prideful to back down, but this time since they're older, they don't escalate their fights like they used to anymore, and would much rather prefer to separate and cool off.

Although, Tom has more of a penchant to hold on to his anger than Tord, who would often feel much better after letting out his frustrations in explosively violent ways. This would of course, lead to Tord wanting to talk but Tom is still seething, therefore would not want to talk to him yet.

His silent treatment often leads to Tord being a bit gloomy but definitely more snappy, which would lead to days in the RA where he would be a bit more unforgiving with his army and how they run their operations.

It'll be tense for a while, until Matt steps in to gently remind Tom that he needs to actually talk with his husband if he wants to sort things out.

I'm not sure if you wanna know what happens with KC Tord, as Blue's silence often means he's getting paraded around again like a showgirl, so he'd be more irritated and aggressive than usual, which would bring Blue back to the warfront.

Stay: Tom would recognize immediately that Tyler is biologically his son (Due to his hellhound genetics lmao). He'd probably act a little bit stiff towards him, only because he's trying to be polite, as every bit of his instincts are on the fritz, telling him he has to protect his progeny.

Tord would probably clock in on his husband wanting to adopt the kid, and would come to the same conclusion that Tyler might be related to him in some way. I think he'd be more neutral but warm towards Ty, since he doesn't have a personal tie with him.

Regimen: I really don't think you want Tyler to be in this universe lmao. Both Tom and Tord would be pretty cold with him, especially Tord if he figures out Tyler is related to Tom. at worse he might even kill him. And like I said before, this Tom isn't good with kids, so he'd try his best to avoid Tyler at every chance he can get.

Sorry Ty :[

[satocidal]

Loved it? Oh, God, you have no idea how much I loved it!

Like, it was softer than I expected and I adored it (I guess I'm too used to my old usual angst coming from my own fingers lmao) and I adored how it felt so realistic honestly like I could totally see Suguru liking someone bold and lively and seemingly almost opposite of himself! (after all, he is Satoru's best friend, lol(

As for Haunting Adeline, it's good (got to like page 150 or so out of almost 600) but I adore so much the tension and how Zade is both a manipulator but deeply obsessive with Addie, ngl

(Can one tell I'm deeply into Alpha/Omega? No? Should I make it clear with a long, detailed description?😅)

I will have to read that Cult!Geto. A lil bit mean, yummy 😋 (especially if he's mean with his d and hand wrapped around my throat—)

As for my friend, she's amazing, but going through a lot lately. Family stress + a relative being unhealthy + first year of Uni knocking+ mental illness is never a nice combo so I do get her but it's like the fifth day and i don't worried as fuck

Did I miss something? 🤔

Oh! The 13 and 15 year difference between us is not that bad considering they're rlly good kids and I love them dearly, ngl. But it does get exhausting. Especially considering I was in a very stressful situation myself not too long ago and still live in it a little (Uni sucks the will from my soul sometimes). Their love does make it worth tho (and the free food and coffee lmao)

Also, it's kinda payment in my mind for how much my sis is helping me rn even tho she'd never hold it over my head (I need new glasses. And while I had the money to spend on said glasses, I had 0 for food and cigs and she's helping me on this one)

But yes, I agree Hacker!Suguru is just ughh. Like, a lil (maybe more) obsessed, absolutely the type to give you the chills, surely could and has killed some really nasty dudes such as traffickers…yeah

Never getting over Suguru being big and strong and intimidating even tho he's such a kind soul, genuinely. I love him dearly (he looks very hot wiping someone else's blood from his skin, sorry not sorry)

~🦊

I love how long this is— and tbh, i knew what I was writing wasn’t like, what you exactly asked for but I was sort of using that idea in a Satoru fic and 😭 yes. Because angst in fact is>>>> and tbh why I see him going for someone like that is because it probably makes him learn a lot, like shows perspectives yk?

Personally I’m not into yandere or omega/alpha dynamics but the maybe I’ve just not delved into the right stuff — altho I think I won’t be into it, I feel like I should try reading on it more to get a good idea on it. As in, it helps writing but be my guest and explain as much as you’d like lmao

I won’t spoil much and it’s not any particular plot lmao I just initially wanted to write smut but then idk and it’s like cult geto and you’re a non-sorcerer but at the same time he’s sort of in love with you (classic and obviously). I don’t expect much interaction on it with people and I’m so afraid because many people (like yk the bigger and more popular fandom writers) have already done this idea so it is overdone slightly? But I just wanted a go at it.

That’s good for you for sure because I personally could never💀 I just really don’t at all like kids and I do hope things get better for you soon.

And I just saw this feel like this hacker guy and this girl (idk what movie’s edit it was but istg that’s my inspo now) though I do apologise because it may take me a day or two (a week?) to deliver because I got this test coming up. And suguru who can manhandle you>>> wait though- suguru wiping your blood (just as an idea sorry if you’re not into that!)

[itsarealdandy]

Another arc downnnnn and boy oh boy it was a big one

I took about a month break/long breaks between arcs so I don't remember all the details leading up to dressrosa so maybe I'll read a summary later to figure out what I've missed.

I feel like it was very interesting imo that dressrosa was very similar to the alabasta arc both in story and the way it raises the stakes for the straw hats (1st big island plot imo in the new world/grand line, respectively; gaining noteriety/more noteriety with the pirates in the area; saving an island from a warlord, etc).

We also got a whole lot of characters and a whole lot of backstories, more so than other arcs I feel (but I could be wrong on account of my break). Especially a lot of new characters that are now part of the straw hats fleet, who's names I will not/do not remember LOLLL. Which while crazy does make sense continuing that there will be at least official-in-name allies to luffy that aren't necessarily going to join the main crew.

I did like how they went about it though because luffy wouldn't be the type of guy to go through all that father son official ship thing in order to gain a fleet like that. Which also sort of goes with their thing that they're not heroes. They all do their own thing, that emphasis letting the people choose/giving them the freedom to do ur own thing and the freedom to choose to follow luffy and the straw hats. That's fucking awesome.

Mann I really wish I wasn't spoiled on Sabo still being alive but I'm glad I wasn't spoiled on anything else plot wise like him inheriting the flame-flame fruit (and MAN why he wasn't at the paramount war, fucking hurt)

Koala coming back... Law MAYBE joining the straw hats... Sabo... the entire dressrosa arc coming together as you find out whats up with this island... the power of friendship to kill a warlord (at least I hope he's dead)... there's so much I loved/got invested in while reading this arc

Also.. was there some hint that Cora could have had a kid??? Imma need to find that chapter again I didn't save it lol

Probably more I wanna say but I gotta stop bec I have work but MAN just a great arc

Also great way to add in the revolutionaries in here

Also also another increase to everyone's bounty. I'm rly expecting luffy to hit over a billion istg

(east blue) Paramount War = Impel Down > Dressrosa > Water Seven > Alabasta > Fish Man Island > Thriller bark > Sabaody > Punk Hazard > Skypeia

[howyouloveyourdragon]

tldr; kira i'm obsessed and i love you

It was a huge deal because now she was old enough to wed. Or to be more precise, sold off. This was unbeknownst to her at the time of arrival, of course.

vizzy istg ill gut you

She followed him when she was young because she simply was curious about the youngest Hightower boy.

stop that's so cute

He was agile, precise and swung his sword with a purpose.

much like his co---

but he looked good,

What he did not enjoy was the prying eyes of a bastard who thought her presence was going unnoticed.

THIS BITCH

He hoped his existence plagued her and her brothers minds every single day of their lives just like theirs plagued his own.

pffft emo phase aemond >>>>>

Jacaerys, the oversized puppy dog

MY MAN YESSSS

Aemond looked unbothered, too caught up in his own delusions of grandeur to notice her.

AJAKKS YOU CALLED HIM DELUSIONAL IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY PFFFTTT

He wasn’t as rotted as she thought, Viserys was lacking an arm, but his face remained intact.

i had a sneaky little giggle

The Hightowers never liked Gaella or her brothers, nor did they like them. 

bby dw i got your back i'm a whore how much _____ will fix this war

Nothing of substance, simply Viserys

tbf you could've stopped the sentence there sksksk

Gaella’s eyes traveled between her mother and the queen, who were currently trying their best not to gaze at each other. Though, Alicent was failing desperately at this game. 

these bitches are in love and horrible at it

It was unbearably awkward but not as bad as the eye contact, she was holding with Aemond.

☠️

“We are having a celebration to give you the chance to look at suitors. Much like what I did for your mother.”  Her face dropped into a frown, “suitors?” Gaella choked out a laugh,

You are blessed to be able to have a choice.”

well it doesn't sound like a choice if you're forcing her to make it, does it

She was more like a feral cat used to catch mice.

in other words; she's gone thea mode

“He would be proud I still had both eyes.” 

pfffffttt

“Spoiled brat.” His words seeped out his lips like venom. “Insolent cunt.” Her words spewed out of her mouth like dragon fire. 

awww they're flirting

“Would it truly be that terrible to share common interests with a princess?” Aemond let his lip curve into a smirk. He leaned down so his face hovered above hers, “Only if it is you, Strong.”  Gaela stood on her tip toes, so their noses were almost touching. “I don’t believe you, one-eye.”

ajskdkjdjf

Aemond watched her smirk lightly and immediately regretted his kindness. She leapt up and placed a quick kiss to his cheek and took off into the other direction.

“what exactly are you doing?” She smiled up at him, her brown eyes twinkling in excitement. “I’m the squire for a mystery knight.” 

i've got a good feeling about this

“A mystery knight? Or a secret lover like your mother?”

THIS BITCH

She turned around and put a finger to his mouth, shushing him. He swatted her hand away with an annoyed expression. “Please. Please, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.” Her hands were placed gently on his chest and her eyes were as wide as a does again. He would admit it was nice to hear her beg. “Aemond… Are you listening?” 

AWWWWW I WANNA SQUISH HER MY SMART BABY

 “I’d just rather not see a girl die such a violent death.” He stepped back, secretly mourning the loss of her hands.

your war crimes disagree with you

“It’s not normal to be as tall as you are stupid.”

this

“And you have a chest like one!”

YOU BITCH

“Where is your sister?” Rhaenyra leaned into Jacaerys ear and whispered. “She wished to watch from underneath the booth. You know how entranced she is by knighthood.”

“This is almost therapeutic.” Jacaerys said to his mother with a wide grin. Rhaenyra hushed him and pointed back at the field. She thought it was rather humorous but had to keep a straight face. 

i love this man so much

“You’re impressed, aren't you? I can’t for the life of me figure out who that is.” Rhaenyra spoke completely unknowing of what she was seeing.

The stands were silent in surprise, but one small voice could be heard from Jacaerys. His proud eyes were drawn to the mystery knight and confirmed what he already suspected - the mystery knight was his sister; Gaella was competing for her own favor. All eyes turned to him, and he sunk down into his chair. Hopefully, no one had heard him. 

WOOOOOOOOO

The tourney had taken a violent turn once the Blackwood knight knocked the Tully off his horse. Tully pushed himself off the ground and a battle of real steel began. The hate the families had for each other ran deep even in festivities. Blackwood dropped his sword and lunged at the man and began beating him senseless. They both rolled around the ground trying to mount the other and claim victory. 

i love all this imagery people tend to skip action scenes in stuff like this but honestly some of my favourites

Daemon noticed Otto grasp his chair a little harder and chuckled under his breath. The final round was beginning and he decided to place a bet. “Jacaerys… ten gold dragons on the Baratheon.” Jace turned his head to stare at Daemon and for a moment wished to correct who he should be cheering for. He decided to keep it a secret a little longer, “The mystery knight will win… they have to.” Daemon raised an eyebrow at his step son and turned his gaze back to the arena. 

MY SWEET BOY IS SUCH A GOOD BROTHER AHHHH

He could tell that the fight was escalating to something more dire, and he leapt from his seat and ran down onto the sands of the arena. He couldn’t say what possessed him to go and try to rescue her, it was against his nature. His body moved far faster than his mind could think it through.  Jacaerys watched in horror, his jaw hanging agape. Daemon pulled his eyes away from the brutality and watched one-eye rush downstairs. Jace’s adrenaline began to take as he got up from his seat. He was her big brother, and he would rescue her. 

AHHHHHHHHHH i love this so much

Just as it seemed that the Baratheon had the advantage and victory was nearly in sight, the Mystery Knight pulled off a cunning move, headbutting the knight back and then using their legs to kick him to the ground. The mystery knight rose to their feet and held their sword to the Baratheon’ throat. The crowd erupted into cheers once more. The knight stumbled back on their feet and raised their hands in the air signaling victory. 

she's such a slay

Aemond was unfazed by her aggressiveness. “What are you, the queen of reeds?

he he said he did the thing

“I just watched you beat a man twice your size, you are far from a lady.” 

“You won’t be able to hide the bruises. How do you intend to get yourself out of this?” He stalked closely behind her. “I proved I was no damsel or would easily submit to a man, whatever comes after is worth it.” Gaella turned and stood closer to him daring him to say something more. “You won’t have to worry about a husband after that display.” Gaella laughed quietly. “Is that what you like? A damsel?” He went to speak but she fell back into his chest dramatically and raised a hand to her head. “Oh Aemond, please save me. There’s a terrible spider. Please, I think I might faint.” 

pfffttt i love her

“Your words are like poison, but your kiss tastes of honey. Now get off before I rip your clothes off.”

slay

Aemond traced his tongue along the path her fingers had taken. Her legs gripped around his waist tighter and the aching feeling between her legs became more uncomfortable. "Aemond," she breathed. "Open your eyes." When she did, he kissed along her jawline until he reached her earlobe. Her entire body tensed, and she dug her nails into his back.

this is so intimate oml

He whispered, "Are you sure? You won’t be able to get another husband.”

bae what makes you think she gives a flying fuck about that

“Good girl,” he whispered into her ear.

yall need to stop using these words against me it makes me the worst kind of person and you know that

She was begging him to cum in her.

O_o

Unbeknownst to them a pair of eyes were watching from a distance.

uhoh

Queen of Reeds

Synopsis: Gaella was not happy to come back for the reason she did and was even less happy when the first person to greet her was an uncle with one eye. It didn't stop there, he seemed to show up at every corner. An enemy to despise, that's what Gaella was taught to see him. However, it is said that hatred is the closest thing to love.

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon (strong) OC warnings: enemies to lovers if you squint, descriptions of violence, name calling and insults, OC is childish, NSFW (smut), Aemond pretending he isn't a simp. word count: 8,000+ note: repost for the lovely @morasakura2023 I added some bits in and also if this does well, I'll make a part two.

It was the first time Gaella had been back to King’s landing since she was a child. It was by request of the king, her grandsire, to celebrate her upcoming name day. It was a huge deal because now she was old enough to wed. Or to be more precise, sold off. This was unbeknownst to her at the time of arrival, of course.  

Gaella had an issue with returning home. Her issue being a rather tall blonde with only one eye. In childhood she lurked and watched his every move and now, ten years later, she’s carefully maneuvering her way through the crowds watching him duel with Ser Criston. 

She followed him when she was young because she simply was curious about the youngest Hightower boy. Gaella overheard rumors of a betrothal so it made sense to try and find out more about him.

Now the reasons were far different. Aemond was, whether they liked it or not, the black's current biggest threat. Not only did he ride Vhagar but from what she was observing he was a rather skilled swordsman. No better than her, she trained herself to be the best. He was agile, precise and swung his sword with a purpose.

Her eyes roamed over his form. It was hard to admit, and she almost gagged at the thought, but he looked good, starkly different from the boy she knew. It seemed she wasn’t the only one to notice this. The few women of the court standing outside were practically swooning. It was gross in her humble opinion, to fawn over men, especially Aemond ‘one-eye’ Targaryen. 

Aemond thoroughly enjoyed when the crowd watched him and the mixed emotions that would form in the pit of their stomachs. The combination of admiration and fear drove him to excel in his daily lessons with Criston. Obviously, his constant need to prove himself did not falter over time though he tried to deny it. 

What he did not enjoy was the prying eyes of a bastard who thought her presence was going unnoticed. She stalked about the onlookers the same way she did at the funeral and the same way she did all the years she lived at the keep. Her fascination with him was creepy but expected considering how he had grown. The brat was probably envious of him and frightened at what he’s become.  

Good, that’s exactly what he wanted from them. He hoped his existence plagued her and her brothers minds every single day of their lives just like theirs plagued his own. It drove him to show off, to prove he was better than them all. 

He swiftly dodged Criston’s swing and aimed the tip of his blade at his opponent’s neck. The small crowd erupted into applause fueling his already enlarged ego. A subtle smirk carved its way onto his face. He peered over in the direction he assumed she was standing. His mouth opened, prepared to taunt her.

She had vanished. He let out an annoyed huff of air and took his position again. Aemond would have to wait to quarrel with her until later. 

-

Lucerys and Gaella were dragging their feet to the family supper. “Do you ever notice how uncle stares like he wishes to devour us whole?” Gaella spoke under her breath. “No. I avoid looking.” She let out a deep breath laced with apprehension. “I have this strange foreboding that this will not end well.” 

They stopped at the large double doors and stared at the cedar trim. Luke’s anxiety slowly seeped into her own skin. Their feet began to unconsciously move backwards. Until two large hands grabbed them both by the shoulders, nearly making them both fall forward. “Come on guys! We’re about to see our dear family again.” 

Jacaerys, the oversized puppy dog appeared from behind with a smile as vast as the sea. It annoyed her how well trained he was to keep face. It was good at pretending to like people and be nice. “Gael… Smile.” She turned to look at him and faked a grin.

The easy part of taking the first steps inside was over. Finding a seat that wasn’t directly across from her uncle was harder. It seemed they had forsaken her to be the one trapped in his view for the entire night. Aemond looked unbothered, too caught up in his own delusions of grandeur to notice her.

The king was well enough to attend supper though he had to be carried in by guards. He wasn’t as rotted as she thought, Viserys was lacking an arm, but his face remained intact. This did well to inspire everyone not to grab a knife and attempt to become a kinslayer. It didn’t change the fact the feast was riddled with tension. The Hightowers never liked Gaella or her brothers, nor did they like them. 

A short speech was given before they were permitted to eat. Nothing of substance, simply Viserys wishing them all good will and pleading with them to get along. The moment it ended; a nerve-wracking silence took over the room. Gaella’s eyes traveled between her mother and the queen, who were currently trying their best not to gaze at each other. Though, Alicent was failing desperately at this game. 

The only real sounds were coming from Aegon slurping his wine like a pig. The echoes of silverware clattering on plates and Helaena mumbling to herself. It was unbearably awkward but not as bad as the eye contact, she was holding with Aemond. He didn’t falter, not even to eat the food on his plate. When he drank his wine, his eye looked over the glass into her own. 

It was as if he was trying to intimidate her in the middle of a dinner party. “Uncle.” Gaella uttered with a slight nod of her head. It was her best attempt at breaking his unbearable gape. “Niece.” Aemond didn't nod, only kept staring unamused by the view. 

“Are you excited, sweet girl?” Viserys smiled softly at her. Gaella furrowed her eyes in confusion but still tried to smile back. “I’m afraid I don’t know what for.” Rhaenyra patted her father’s hands. She hadn’t told her yet, but it was clear she would not enjoy it by the breath her mother exhaled. “We are having a celebration to give you the chance to look at suitors. Much like what I did for your mother.” 

Her face dropped into a frown, “suitors?” Gaella choked out a laugh, “why would I look for that?” Rhaenyra glanced around the table and took in account who was there. She didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the extended family, It was none of their business in the first place. Solidarity was important to show in the face of potential enemies. 

“Yes, the king did do something similar for me which is how I met your father, Laenor.” Aegon rolled his eyes and sank into his cups. Aemond withheld a chuckle aching to escape his throat at the mere mention of Laenor. Gaella knew what they were thinking before he said it. ‘Strong bastards’ 

 “I have no interest in a husband but thank you grandsire. That’s very kind of you,” she spoke flatly. “It is past time you explore your options, love. You are blessed to be able to have a choice.” Gaella’s gaze momentarily traveled to poor Helaena and her wastrel of a husband. Rhaenyra tried to smile through her words and speak with her eyes: not here, we can do this later. Her glances fell on blind, childish eyes. 

Her sympathy quickly dissipated, she didn’t want to be Helaena or Alicent or Aemma or her own mother. “You wish to sell me like some broodmare!” Gaella’s voice echoed across the table. Anger issues, a trait she inherited from her biological father. A trait Jacaerys also shared but hid behind a masterfully crafted facade. The room stilled, as they all stared at her in awe. Except Aemond, who was biting the inside of his cheeks trying not to grin. 

“You can’t spend the rest of your years alone. I only wish for you to be happy-” It mattered not, she preferred solitude anyway. Gaella scoffed, “And you think sending me to some Lord will make me happy?” Rhaenyra firmly placed her hands down atop the table, “It is your duty.” Gaella pushed her chair out, nearly spilling wine all over poor Lucerys who flinched at the sudden movements. “Why is that? Why can’t I be a knight and die in battle.” 

“That is enough, Gaella.” Rhaenyra spoke in a stern voice. “I am not a whore to breed some man heirs!” Her mother slammed her firsts on the table, and Aegon choked on his drink. Lucerys sank low in his chair and Jacaerys avoided eye contact. “Go to your room… now!” Gaella stumbled back; her eyes threatened to well with tears. She quickly turned on her heels and stormed off.

____________________________________

Aemond watched from a corner of the yard as Gaella furiously swung her sword at the straw dummy and cursed below her breath. It was past time for a normal lady to be in bed. Then again, as she showcased tonight at supper Gaella was no lady. She was more like a feral cat used to catch mice.

It irked him to no end how easily she casted aside duty and so blatantly disrespected her elders with no punishment. He was glad to see one of the bastards finally lose something, but the show was beginning to become pathetic. Her movements were sloppy, and the dummy was all but beaten to rubbish. 

“You would be a shit knight.” She flinched at the voice, and her eyes widened at the sight of him. For just one moment she looked to be an innocent girl, a doe caught in a hunter's trap. Aemond’s shoulders released the tension for a moment, she was still a brat but maybe there was still hope for her. 

“That would still be a better one than you could ever be.” Gaella’s eyebrows furrowed and the grip on her blade tightened. He was reminded, once again, no bastard was innocent. His blood began to boil beneath his skin like a dragon’s. The tension in his body swiftly returned. 

 Aemond strode towards her, but she did not falter. She raised her chin to meet his gaze as they stood mere inches apart. “Hmm what would your father say about your skills, Lady Strong? I heard he was quite the knight in his time.” Gaella stepped closer, unfazed by the vicious insults. “He would be proud I still had both eyes.” 

Gaella was tossing and turning in bed trying to drown out the sounds of a dragon outside when Jacaerys rushed in. “Wake up! Wake up! Someone stole Vhagar.” She pushed her brother’s face away and sat up slowly. “It’s too late, wait until tomorrow.” He anxiously moved in place, “Come on! What if they’re not here by tomorrow.” She let out a tired sigh, “if they stole Vhagar surely they’ll be here to gloat when the sun rises.” 

Jace groaned, “fine! I’ll handle it myself.” She smiled to herself, “good luck with that!” Gaella sank back down into her pillow and listened to the quiet noises of Driftmark. If only she knew what would happen, she might have gotten out of bed. 

 “I could change that, Strong.” Aemond leaned over her, and his breath heated her skin. Her thoughts drifted from the threat of violence and to his form. The light from the moon perfectly outlined his figure, he could be considered handsome… Until you realized he was a snake. She stood higher on her toes, so their faces nearly connected. A pathetic display of dominance from the both of them. “I’d like to see you try.” 

Gaella and Aemond's eyes were riddled with hate as they glared at each other. Neither noticed that they both had gripped their weapons tighter preparing for the other to strike. Their breaths beat heavy against each other’s skin, and the air grew cold around them. “Spoiled brat.” His words seeped out his lips like venom. “Insolent cunt.” Her words spewed out of her mouth like dragon fire. 

The world around them faded away. It was a waiting game to see who broke first, who would elicit the other to unsheathe their weapons. Gaella and Aemond were frozen in place as their chests nearly pressed against each other as their breaths quickened with anticipation. They could feel the tension in the air, the hate between them still strong like an unshakeable force while an unfamiliar sensation seemed to ripple through their bodies. There was a feeling of immediacy and yet neither would make a move. Though the hate between them remained, a small trace of something else was growing inside them, something that was unknown to them before. 

“Gaella! It’s time to go to bed.” Jacaerys yelled from atop the stairwell. She pulled back and her fury melted away, the trance she was in dissolved immediately. “Coming!” Gaella didn't even turn back to the prince; she simply took off towards her brother. Now it was Aemond who stormed off, cursing underneath his breath like a child who couldn’t get their way. The bastards always found a way to get under his skin and ruin his peace, she proved to be no different.

____________________________________

The day before the tournament Gaella decided to spend her energy reading. It was a peaceful past time she had come to love in recent years. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it felt nice to be smarter than everyone because of what she read. The contents she was reading now were especially important for tomorrow.

Aemond was in a rather shit mood. Alicent had turned into a worried mess he had to take care of, Aegon disappeared into Fleabottom and he had to go and drag him back and Criston wouldn’t get off his back because he wanted him to train for a tournament, he refused to participate in. All Aemond wanted was to find a little peace.

The library was his favorite place of solitude. It was a time where he could dive into his studies with no interruptions from bastards or wastrels or disheveled adults. As he walked inside his face dropped into one of displeasure upon seeing her sitting in the library. Aemond’s jaw clenched, and he prayed to the seven for a little more patience. Could he not have a moment to himself? 

Gaella glanced up at the source of the interruption. Her annoyance quickly grew at the sight of the displeased expression on the face of the one-eyed prince. Gaella decided she wasn’t going to give him the time of day and shoved the book closer into her face. 

Aemond scoffed and stepped closer, quarreling with her was the closest thing he had to peace today. He was mildly curious about what book she was reading. He always believed she was too dull or lazy to read. In his mind the most she could manage was a fantasy book for children. As he moved closer It became painfully clear she wasn’t reading and was instead waiting for him to do something. 

He elected to ignore her and search for his own book. The silence in the room was overwhelming as he glanced through the books. Gods, she annoyed him to no end. You would think she would leave once I was here, he thought to himself. Aemond wasn’t really looking, merely pretending until she got the hint to leave. 

Gaella peered out from behind her book and saw him standing staring at the shelf. Was he even looking for anything or talking to himself? She slammed her book shut and moved next to him to be rid of her own book. Occasionally she glanced up at him wondering what he was staring at. 

Aemond tightened his jaw once he felt her move next to him. He could feel her eyes burning into his skin from below him. It was too much; her presence was bothering him too much. 

“I didn’t expect you to know how to read.” Gaella rolled her eyes, “Are you stalking me or is it a coincidence you keep stumbling upon my private time?” Aemond moved so he was standing behind her. He plucked a book off a shelf too high for her to reach and brought it down to his chest. “Is it a coincidence you are always in the places I frequent?” 

His breath tantalizingly caressed her neck, making her body flush as if thousands of butterflies flitted around inside her chest. His presence felt like a cocoon of warmth against her back, comforting yet strangely intimidating, it filled her with a longing for something more she couldn't quite understand. “Maybe we have more in common than we’d care to admit.” 

She turned so her back was against the bookshelf and her gaze rose to his own. He stared at her expressionless, “hmm I doubt that.” She chuckled, “Would it truly be that terrible to share common interests with a princess?” Aemond let his lip curve into a smirk. He leaned down so his face hovered above hers, “Only if it is you, Strong.” 

Gaela stood on her tip toes, so their noses were almost touching. “I don’t believe you, one-eye.” Aemond moved forward with force, so her body was firmly pressed against the shelf, and he blocked her in. Their chests pressed against each other as their breathing hastened. Aemond slid his hand up, so it was lightly pressed against her throat. He felt the small gulp move down her throat and a heat rose within him. “You should be careful who you insult.”  

There was not an ounce of fear in her body. Instead, it was replaced by a new, all-encompassing fire that she could not name. She slipped her hands from out behind her and onto his chest. “I didn't mean to affront you, My Prince.” She put a sarcastic emphasis on the word prince. He glared into her eyes and noticed her pupils invading her irises and the light flush beneath her skin. The way her lips parted ever so slightly and the rhythm of which she breathed.

His lower region began to ache, and he let go of her. He stepped back and let his hands fall to his sides. “You don’t hold such power over me, Princess.” Gaella fell back flat on her feet and her face once again grew annoyed. “I need to go.” Gaella went to step away, but Aemond shoved her back a bit.

 He had almost forgotten why he was standing over her in the first place. “If you can truly read, you’ll enjoy this one.” She firmly grabbed the book from his hands and glanced over the cover. A small smirk grew on her face. 

‘A book of swords; the art of combat and strategy.’ 

Aemond watched her smirk lightly and immediately regretted his kindness. She leapt up and placed a quick kiss to his cheek and took off into the other direction. Immediately he felt his face flush with heat and his feet glue themselves to the ground. The sensation in his core burnt brighter. 

Aemond's stomach churned as he was left wondering why, despite the fact that they had never seen eye to eye. He felt flustered, bewildered, and discombobulated all at once. He thought he had been clear that he didn’t like her, but here she had gone and did that. His mouth hung open as he stumbled for the right words to say. 

“Thank you, Aemond.” She yelled as she rushed out. He hadn’t heard her call him his name before either. What game was she playing?

____________________________________

There was a grand tournament being held in her honor. Her family sat atop the booth and watched the competitions being set up below. There were three events of tournaments like these ones. The first would be a test of archery, whomever hit the center the greatest number of times won the bout. Next it was mock battle otherwise known as foot jousting. Knights in teams of two would battle against each other until the remaining team stood as victors. Lastly it was the jousting tournament itself. Knights on horseback would ride against each other and try to knock the other off their horse. Whoever won would be given high praise and the opportunity to crown a princess as the queen of love and beauty. 

“What in the seven hells are you doing?” Gaella, startled by the voice, tripped over the stack of armor below her and into the dirt. “Are you stalking me now?” Aemond scoffed, “This where the men’s tents are. If anything, you were stalking me.” She sat up and reached her arm out. “Aren’t you going to help me up?” 

He impatiently gripped her hand and ripped her off the ground. Aemond glanced around and immediately saw the stack of armor, the sword and the bow lying beneath her. His eyebrows screwed together in confusion, “what exactly are you doing?” She smiled up at him, her brown eyes twinkling in excitement. “I’m the squire for a mystery knight.” 

A green feeling began boiling in his chest. “A mystery knight? Or a secret lover like your mother?” Her mouth formed a crooked smirk, “Is that concern for my virtue? Or is that jealousy I hear?” His face dropped into its normal unamused facade, “curiosity.” Gaella hummed in response and began picking up the armor she laid on the floor. “It’s just odd a girl would squire and for a mystery knight.” 

Aemond paused in his steps and his eyes moved between her and the armor. It was small, too big for her but too small for a man. The weapons? Just the right width for her hands to grasp. The books, the training dummy, the attitude… He chuckled, “Are you competing then?” 

She turned around and put a finger to his mouth, shushing him. He swatted her hand away with an annoyed expression. “Please. Please, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.” Her hands were placed gently on his chest and her eyes were as wide as a does again. He would admit it was nice to hear her beg. “Aemond… Are you listening?” 

His name rolled off her tongue like honey and seeped into his head. This was stupid, she was stupid. “If you don’t want to die, aim for the feet… the bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Gaella's smile was so bright it rivaled the sun. “You’re my ally now?” 

 “I’d just rather not see a girl die such a violent death.” He stepped back, secretly mourning the loss of her hands. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She waved him off and turned back to start getting ready. “You’re the most irritating person I’ve ever met.” She smiled to herself, “as you are to me.” 

He huffed out a breath and turned on his heels. “It’s not normal for women to fight.” She scoffed, “It’s not normal to be as tall as you are stupid.” He turned back around, “must you always argue?” Gaella stood up and placed her helm on her head. “You are like a child!” 

“And you have a chest like one!” There was complete silence before she dramatically wrapped her arms around herself. “My modesty! How often do you look?” Gaella wriggled her eyebrows in his direction. He couldn’t handle being in her presence anymore.

The sound of her childish giggles would haunt him in his sleep. Aemond began to stride off into the direction of the royal boxes, but something forced him to stop. The seven were cruel to him for making him this way. He shouldn’t be nice to a bastard but before he could stop, the words escaped him.  

“Gaella…” The sound of her name from his lips echoed in her ears. He’d never called her anything besides insults before. There was a pause, should he even bother finishing?  “Be safe.” And he continued his silent March back to his family. 

____________________________________

“Where is your sister?” Rhaenyra leaned into Jacaerys ear and whispered. “She wished to watch from underneath the booth. You know how entranced she is by knighthood.” His mother leaned back into her chair and let out a sigh. It was pointless to try and command her to come up here, she was lucky her winter child showed up in the first place. 

Jacaerys nervously played with his fingers as the knights were taking their places in front of the targets. It was all the knights from the main houses and a select few mystery knights. One in particular caught his eye, they wore a helm even though it was not needed for archery. 

It was no surprise the Lannister came in last place. The final mystery knight stepped up to the plate and drew back the string. 

Woosh

It was the first time a knight struck a bullseye  on their first pull the entire day. 

Woosh

They successfully struck another bullseye which knocked off the Stark’s arrow. 

Woosh

It was impossible what he was witnessing. The knight hadn’t missed a single target. He leaned out of his chair slightly to get a better glimpse. 

Woosh 

The arrow cut through the middle of another arrow landing the final bullseye. The crowd erupted into cheers and the mystery knight simply scurried away. The way they ran looked all too familiar. His armor also looked to be forged like ones on Dragonstone… interesting. 

____________________________________

The mystery knight was paired with a Blackwood knight. Both of them were shorter and their armor fit loosely against their bodies. It was a tragedy how easily they would be cast down by the bigger men. Jacaerys sat back in his chair and observed. 

The first bout was against the Hightower and Lannister knight against the victory of the archery match and his partner. The command was yelled, and they began circling their opponents with wooden sticks. Jacaerys turned around to smile at Baela and by the time he turned back they had won once again. Ser Hightower laid flat on his arse with the mystery knight standing above him.

“This is almost therapeutic.” Jacaerys said to his mother with a wide grin. Rhaenyra hushed him and pointed back at the field. She thought it was rather humorous but had to keep a straight face. 

The crowds cheered and jeered the grappling teams going blow for blow in the center of the joust yard. Cregan Stark was the first to draw his sword and charged the mystery knight with a mighty roar, trying to take advantage of the surprise element. The mystery knight nimbly evaded the charge, using their agility and speed to get from one side of the joust yard to the other. The Stark knight struck out again, timing his strikes well but missing each time as the mystery knight danced around their reach. The second bout saw the Tully and Blackwood knights knocking each other back, both of them swinging with ferocity but neither able to find an advantage against the other. 

The third bout saw Cregan Stark gaining the upper hand against the mystery knight. The Stark knight's impressive strength coupled with his tall size and long arms allowed him to land blows that the mystery knight just couldn't seem to counter in time. It looked like Cregan was about to defeat them, but the mystery knight rolled onto the ground and kicked his feet out from under him. The stark went down, and the mystery knight pointed their wooden stick at his throat. 

The commotion caught Tully’s attention long enough for Ser Blackwood to kick him in his chest and send him toppling into the dirt. 

Jacaerys recognized the way the knight moved as if he had seen it a hundred times. His nails dug into the edges of his seat and his breath caught in his throat. “You’re impressed, aren't you? I can’t for the life of me figure out who that is.” Rhaenyra spoke completely unknowing of what she was seeing. “Yes… I can’t figure it out either.” She noticed her son's eyes were glued to the field. It was nice he was showing so much interest in something as foolish as a tournament.

The mystery knight helped the Stark knight off the ground. He firmly grasped and patted his back as a show of respect and solidarity, before whispering something in his ear. Cregan formally bowed his head in recognition, with a proud smile on his face. 

The stands were silent in surprise, but one small voice could be heard from Jacaerys. His proud eyes were drawn to the mystery knight and confirmed what he already suspected - the mystery knight was his sister; Gaella was competing for her own favor. All eyes turned to him, and he sunk down into his chair. Hopefully, no one had heard him. 

Aemond leaned up in his chair and his face looked to be washed over in mild concern. 

Helaena realized he noticed what she already knew. Gaella was competing in the men’s games against everyone’s wishes. She had a dream about this day the other night, but no one understood her during supper. Then again, they never understood her anyway. At least this dream came true, and a bit of confidence returned to her body. 

____________________________________

The horses were lined up awaiting the command to charge. The Lannister knight grasped his lance, and the Tully knight lowered his helm. The horses let out loud grunts and stomped their hooves into the ground sending dust into the air. 

“Charge!”

The two knights took off aiming their laces at each other. The Tully knight landed a blow directly into his chest and threw him from his horse. The sound of his body crashing into the ground echoed throughout the arena. Jacaerys grimaced at the sound waiting for the mystery knight's turn. 

The tourney had taken a violent turn once the Blackwood knight knocked the Tully off his horse. Tully pushed himself off the ground and a battle of real steel began. The hate the families had for each other ran deep even in festivities. Blackwood dropped his sword and lunged at the man and began beating him senseless. They both rolled around the ground trying to mount the other and claim victory. 

Whilst they were throwing curses at each other and being dragged away by their squires the mystery knight was gearing up their horse and preparing to take on Gwayne Hightower. Daemon rolled his eyes at the announcement of the two competitors. “What a stupid fucking helm.” He muttered under his breath and Rhaenyra held back a smirk. 

Ser Gwayne Hightower was in full regalia, wearing a suit of armor and a green cape. Gwayne’s helm did look stupid, it was in the shape of a lantern. His horse wasn’t stupid, it was a fierce and powerful white charger, and his lance was held firmly in his grip. 

At the opposite end of the arena was the mysterious knight, also dressed in armor and a cape, but with no visible heraldry. Their horse was bigger and heavier than Gwayne's, and they held their lance in a menacing grip. 

On the signal from the marshal, both horses galloped forward, faster and faster until the two knights clashed in the center of the arena. Both lances splintered on impact, but the power of their attack was too much for Gwayne. The force knocked him off his horse and onto the cold hard ground. 

Daemon noticed Otto grasp his chair a little harder and chuckled under his breath. The final round was beginning and he decided to place a bet. “Jacaerys… ten gold dragons on the Baratheon.” Jace turned his head to stare at Daemon and for a moment wished to correct who he should be cheering for. He decided to keep it a secret a little longer, “The mystery knight will win… they have to.” Daemon raised an eyebrow at his step son and turned his gaze back to the arena. 

The match began with both men jumping onto the jousting line. The combatants charged their horses towards each other, wind blowing in their faces. As they drew closer, the knight's lances glimmering with the sunlight, their horses' hooves launching clumps of dirt into the air. When they met, both knights delivered a powerful and determined swing of their respective weapons. 

The Baratheon Knight was the first to take a clear shot, striking the mystery knight on the chest and sending them nearly toppling from their horse. But, the mystery knight, being smaller and nimbler than their larger opponents, managed to quickly react and swing their lance from an unpredictable angle, catching the stark knight off-guard and nearly sending them tumbling from the saddle. 

Aemond tapped his fingers against the wood and a slight stress filled his head. She was far too small to be out here. They were going to harm her and bring shame to their house. Yes, he was only embarrassed for her, not at all worried about her well-being, he told himself. 

Helaena smiled softly, “She’ll be fine.” That pulled Aemond’s attention away and he turned to her. “Why would I care if a nameless knight is fine?” She nearly rolled her eyes at his words. “Whatever you say, brother.” 

The remaining two continued their battle, the difference in size and speed becoming increasingly clear. The Baratheon repped his lance under his arm and commanded his horse to charge. The pace the two riders set was faster than before. Their lances struck each other in the chest sending them both to the ground. 

“Sword!”

The Baratheon shouted from the opposite side of the field. The mystery knight rushed over to their corner to grab one as well. Once the mystery knight turned around the Baratheon was already on them. He violently swung his sword in their direction and gave them no room to breathe. 

The Baratheon had the knight completely in his control. In one swift and powerful movement, he forced the knight onto the ground and kicked him hard in the chest plate. The sound of metal clanking sent reverberations throughout the arena. The crowd collectively gasped at the force, but then erupted in cheers for the knight. 

Aemond’s thoughts began to race for reasons unknown. He shouldn’t care, she was getting what she deserved for what had happened to him. Except, she wasn’t even there that night or any night before then.

Meanwhile, the Baratheon knight relentlessly punched the knight in the face. His blows landed with a sickening thud, and he soon had the knight in a state of submission. The knight had no chance to fight back and could only endure the punishment. 

Aemond’s breath hitched in his throat. It wasn’t right for a man to lay hands on a woman like that, he should have them removed. However, the fool below is pretending to not be a man. His jaw clenched together as nervous bits of sweat began to form on his forehead. 

He could tell that the fight was escalating to something more dire, and he leapt from his seat and ran down onto the sands of the arena. He couldn’t say what possessed him to go and try to rescue her, it was against his nature. His body moved far faster than his mind could think it through. 

Jacaerys watched in horror, his jaw hanging agape. Daemon pulled his eyes away from the brutality and watched one-eye rush downstairs. Jace’s adrenaline began to take as he got up from his seat. He was her big brother, and he would rescue her. 

Just as it seemed that the Baratheon had the advantage and victory was nearly in sight, the Mystery Knight pulled off a cunning move, headbutting the knight back and then using their legs to kick him to the ground. The mystery knight rose to their feet and held their sword to the Baratheon’ throat. The crowd erupted into cheers once more. The knight stumbled back on their feet and raised their hands in the air signaling victory. 

 That's when the knight’s helm slipped off to reveal the face of Gaella. A collective gasp rose up from the crowd. The royal family on the balcony couldn’t see her face, only the long hair that cascaded down her back. Gaella took off in the direction of her horse, completely fleeing the scene. 

Daemon knew who it was. Apparently so did a cunt with one eye. 

____________________________________

She made her way to escape from the keep and to her own private area she discovered as a child. Gaella grimaced as she slid off her horse. She apprehensively peeled off her blood-stained armor, the metal clanking against the wooden tree. She stumbled her way to the water’s edge which was heavily surrounded by reeds. 

Gaella dipped her hands into the calm lake and sighed, relieved to be away from the confinements of King’s Landing. The sun shone warmly above her, and the willow trees swayed gracefully in the breeze, providing shelter from the long city. Looking around, the area was filled with bursting greenery, trees, forests, and shrubbery. It was a beautiful, hidden lake, far from the worries of the kingdom. 

The gentle lapping of the water and the faint chirping of birds lulled her into a blissful tranquility. The pain in her body gradually subsided as she waded into the refreshing lake. She muttered her gratitude as the warmth of the water soothed her every aching muscle. 

To Gaella it felt ironic, how this haven of peace was surrounded by such a shit city. “You’ll freeze to death in there,” Aemond’s voice echoed in her ears and embarrassment coursed through her veins. She dipped herself deeper into the water and turned back. “Get the fuck away!” 

Aemond was unfazed by her aggressiveness. “What are you, the queen of reeds? Get out before you die of hypothermia.” Gaella sunk deeper into the water and covered her bare chest with her arms. “I’m indecent! Have you no respect for a lady’s honor?” Aemond glanced around and noticed the bloody clothes spread out underneath the tree. A part of him wished to turn around but the other part yearned for a glimpse. “I just watched you beat a man twice your size, you are far from a lady.” 

Her peace had been destroyed so quickly. She cursed beneath her breath. “I’ll come out if you hand me my undergarments.” Aemond thought about it for a second. It would be exciting to see what laid beneath the metal armor, but he was not like Aegon. He picked up her disgusting underclothes and tossed them at her. “Go on, I have enough decency to look away.” 

Gaella begrudgingly moved out of the water and dragged her clothes towards her. She quickly slipped on her cotton shirt and peered up at Aemond. It was taking everything inside of him not to turn around. He inhaled a deep breath every time he heard her move. “Are you going to claim this is a mere coincidence again?” Her voice was right beside his ear, and he quickly whipped around. He was too deep inside his own head to notice her approach. “Don't flatter yourself, I was following a nameless knight.” 

She chuckled to herself, “Did the nameless knight impress you that much?” Aemond scanned her face for the bruises that decorated her eye and cheek. Gaella’s lips were swollen and a slight cut glowed red. “It impressed some, but I believe tourneys are no true show of skill.” Her face fell and she moved over to collect her things. He always knew how to irk her entire being.

“You won’t be able to hide the bruises. How do you intend to get yourself out of this?” He stalked closely behind her. “I proved I was no damsel or would easily submit to a man, whatever comes after is worth it.” Gaella turned and stood closer to him daring him to say something more. “You won’t have to worry about a husband after that display.” Gaella laughed quietly. “Is that what you like? A damsel?” He went to speak but she fell back into his chest dramatically and raised a hand to her head. “Oh Aemond, please save me. There’s a terrible spider. Please, I think I might faint.” 

Aemond instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist. He stared down at her unamused theatrics. His lips curved into a small smirk without him meaning them to. “Will you quit it?” Gaella let her legs go limp and crashed into him, sending them to the ground. “Oh Aemond why, why have you forsaken such a delicate damsel such as me.” Aemond couldn't contain the amusement growing on his face. Gods, she was the most obnoxious woman he had met. “You are more of a child than Aegon.” 

Gaella gasped in fake shock, and she pushed herself up with one arm. Her face laid directly in front of his and he had yet to remove his hands from her hips. “Are you always so dry or is it reserved for me?” He glanced away from her and turned back with a cheeky grin. “Only for delicate damsels such as yourself.” 

“My disappointment is truly immeasurable.” She pouted in fake disappointment. His lips curled even further, "I knew I could count on you to be the most bothersome woman I ever met." Gaella raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Ah yes, that must be why you have followed and allowed me on your lap.” 

"Is there a point to this?" Aemond asked. He shook his head. "There is not," Gaella said, “unless… you want there to be.” Aemond rolled his eyes but smiled. "You are the worst kind of person." She looked up at him with her eyebrows raised. "What does that mean?" He laughed. "It means you're a horrible tease."

"I am a wonderful tease,” she spoke softly. Gaella leaned closer to him, so their noses were almost touching. The unknown desire in her chest began to consume her again. This time she let it happen. She reached up and placed her hands on his shoulders. The skin of his neck was warm. She leaned closer and he felt her warm breath on his lips. Aemond's heart stopped, and his head swirled. "Gaella," he whispered. "Yes?" she murmured against his lips. "We can't do this." His tone sounded hoarse and unsure. "Why not?" she asked, though she already knew the answer. "Because you don't like me, and I do not like you..."

"I think that is a lie. You want me just as much as I want you.” Her words pierced his chest. The burning sensation in his core began. His hunger for her was only becoming all the more unbearable.  Aemond's blood boiled, he pulled her close to him and crashed his lips into her. Their lips danced around each other, never parting for air. "Aemond," she moaned against his mouth. Her hands reached up and grabbed his hair. He tore his lips from hers and pressed his forehead against hers. The need to taste her body was getting out of control. “You’re cruel, uncle.” 

“Your words are like poison, but your kiss tastes of honey. Now get off before I rip your clothes off.” He pushed her back, but Gaella gripped the collar of his shirt and tried to pull him back in. "Please," she begged. Aemond was lost to the pleasure coursing through his veins. His grip on her tightened with a bruising force. His breath grew heavy. Her lips were so soft and pliant, and he could feel her breathing become erratic. "Shh." He trailed his fingers along the side of her neck and forced her to look at him. "What?" She was beyond confused by his sudden change. "Close your eyes." He kissed her gently on the lips.

She complied instantly and he unbuttoned her shirt to expose the soft flesh of her neck. He trailed kisses down her neck causing her to grip onto his shirt harder. He reached the hollow of her throat and her whole body trembled.  Aemond traced his tongue along the path her fingers had taken. Her legs gripped around his waist tighter and the aching feeling between her legs became more uncomfortable. "Aemond," she breathed. "Open your eyes." When she did, he kissed along her jawline until he reached her earlobe. Her entire body tensed, and she dug her nails into his back. Gaella couldn’t handle the ache between her legs and tried to relieve the tension. She grinded against his buldge trying to ease her tension. He took advantage of her desperate need. He kissed her ear and then moved his hand to cup her breast. 

His cock was throbbing at this point. Aemond move his lips to hers to muffle the moans coming from her throat. It was impossible to not control himself any longer. The yearning for her had become completely unbearable. He slid his hand down to her stomach and pinched the bottom of her pants. He roughly unbuttoned them. He immediately dove his hand into trousers. His hands traced her soaking wet folds and she whimpered into his mouth. “I need you,” she whispered in between kisses. "I know," he growled. "Take them off." Gaella didn't hesitate. She released her hold on him and ripped her pants down.  Aemond stuttered whilst trying to unbuckle his pants. He managed to get the damned belt off and was finally able to let his cock out.

Gaella’s eyes widened at his size. She didn’t have much time to react before he pulled her back down. His cock grinded against her slick dripping slit. She clenched her thighs tightly together to prevent him from slipping inside. Aemond groaned as he grasped her hips and made her grind against him. Her throat released small whimpers as she wrapped her arms around him.  He whispered, "Are you sure? You won’t be able to get another husband.” His fingers dug into the flesh of her ass cheeks, and he pressed her into the ground. "Have I not proven I don’t want another husband," Gaella cried out. Aemond lifted himself back up and pinned her wrists above her head. His cock was inches away from entering her. Her legs locked around his waist again. He lowered himself slowly, “it hurts the first time.”

"Aemond!  Fuck me already," she moaned.

“Spoiled brat.” He growled and plunged into her. Her head fell back, and her eyes rolled back. The pain of being stretched caused her to moan out loudly. She dug her nails into his back. "Fuck!" Aemond groaned. She was so tight. He moved faster in order to escape the discomfort. Gaella dug her nails deeper into his back. She felt him swell and his thrusts became harder. Her pussy clenched around him, and her clit ached to be touched. 

Aemond nuzzled his face into her neck and moved his finger to circle around her clit. He rubbed slow circles around her sensitive bud as he fucked her.  “Fuck, Aemond!” Tears welled in her eyes as her body filled with a new sensation. The feeling of pleasure was all encompassing and caused her to scream out. He sped up and moved faster. His hips slammed into her thighs as his cock hit her cervix. He began leaving marks down her neck where his lips kissed, and his teeth nibbled at her skin. Gaella’s back arched at all of the simulation. She was becoming a dumb mess underneath him. 

"I- I think I’m going to," she moaned as her body clenched around him. Gaella didn’t know what it was, but it was quickly overwhelming her. Aemond watched her face contort in pleasure. His hands moved from her wrists to her waist. He began pumping into her harder and faster. Her squeals and moans grew louder and more frantic. “Fuck- fuck - fuck,” she whimpered as her pussy fully clenched around his cock. Her entire body was filled with an intense ecstasy. Her muscles convulsed around his shaft and her cry echoed throughout the forest.

“Good girl,” he whispered into her ear. Gaella screamed out as her orgasm crashed over her. She collapsed beneath him. Her legs twitched around him and she squirmed underneath him. Aemond was quickly approaching his finish and he tried to pull out of her, "I'm close.” Her eyes held a wild gleam and her lips upturned. Her legs clamped around his waist, and she began grinding her hips into him again. She was begging him to cum in her. "Please, Aemond, cum in me."

He lost all of his self-control hours ago. The desire was too much to bear.  "Fuck!" he yelled as he pumped his cock into her. Her inner walls squeezed and massaged his pulsing shaft. Gaella's nails dug into his back as her hips bucked into him. His balls tightened and he felt his release rushing towards his cock.

"Shit!" Aemond's voice was ragged and strained. He groaned as he came undone, filling her womb with thick hot seed. Her pussy milked him as he emptied the last of his seed into her. 

Aemond dropped on top of her as her chest heaved. Gaella understood now why men always sought women to fuck after battle. It was as if she had won twice in a single day.  

They both lay under the trees, panting. Aemond was still buried deep inside of her. They stared into each other's eyes, neither one of them wanting to break the moment.

He rolled off of her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “We should head back soon before someone sends a search party.”

"I don’t want to leave." She pushed herself up and stood on shaky legs. She patted down the front of her dress and ran her fingers through her hair. Aemond sat up and grabbed her wrist. “You can’t return like this; your mother will have your head.” Gaella groaned in annoyance as she remembered her mother. “I don’t have any other choice.” 

“Not necessarily, just follow me.” He smirked up at her and she begrudgingly nodded her head in agreement. “Must you always be so defiant?” Gaella intertwined her fingers with his and hummed to herself with a cocky smile plastered on her face. 

Unbeknownst to them a pair of eyes were watching from a distance.

[bungod-hearth]

The Lady Guuji extends her hand, and Kunikuzushi stays. Fast art of an au that’s been rotting in my brain these days, found family is my weakness

[fernsnailz]

when did Tails become a wanted criminal? istg archie's timeline is bananas

you’re right about those bananas because the tails enemy of the state lore is kinda wacky wild!!

in terms of timeline, tails became a criminal in issues 178-179 which is nestled between a BUNCH of other crazy arcs (including my beloved tommy turtle sacrifice arc). however, all of the important context regarding HOW and WHY tails became an enemy of the state is a little all over the place. this is gonna be a long one

TL;DR: tails the fox helps overthrow a monarchy (sorta)

heads up i'm going to be spoiling most of the "tails enemy of the state" arc (aka House of Cards), so read it on your own if you're interested! it's a pretty good read

ok so the main thing we gotta start with are tails’ parents in archie sonic: amadeus and rosemary prower.

tails’ parents met when they both served in the military for the acorn kingdom, which is the furry monarchy that serves as the government for sonic’s home. they get married, rosemary gets pregnant with tails, and everything is going swimmingly for them until eggman (named julian kintober at this time), stages a military coup against the acorn kingdom and starts to take over the world.

eggman’s main resource in taking over the world is an invention called the roboticizer, which can take living creatures and turn them into mindless robots that serve him. unfortunately, tails’ dad gets roboticized at the time of eggman’s coup.

before rosemary is roboticized though, something kinda wacky happens.

both of tails’ parents get abducted by aliens, unroboticized, and spend the next 11 years on an alien planet without any contact back to sonic’s world. yeah.

(the aliens are called Bem, they're all scientists and have cute eyelashes.)

11 years pass, and our pal sonic the hedgehog gets lost in space due to Reasons and Events that would take literally forever for me to explain. during his funny little space adventure, he finds himself on the alien planet tails’ parents are on and is reunited with them!

while sonic is there, though, the Bem are hosting a democratic trial for a Bem scientist named Ceneca-9009, who is the alien that transported tails’ parents away from their home in the first place. she's being sentenced to death for kidnapping tails' parents and doing other science experiments related to eggman's roboticization that i don't remember the details of

shenanigans happen, sonic and tails’ parents save Ceneca from execution, and sonic gets back home (unfortunately without tails’ parents - his spaceship was too small). the most important takeaway here is, interestingly enough, the democratic nature of the Bem alien government.

remember, sonic’s home is under rule of a monarchy, specifically the acorn kingdom. on the Bem planet, however, their government functions through democratically elected officials and judicial trials. and tails’ parents REALLY like it compared to the monarchy they know.

eventually, amadeus and rosemary are saved from the alien planet thanks to the help of sonic, knuckles, tails, and tails’s wizard uncle named merlin. i will not be explaining merlin here i honestly have no fucking clue what his deal is

this is REALLY important for tails, because he lived his entire life convinced his parents were gone. in the archie comics, both sonic and knuckles manage to reunite with both of their parents, and tails finally gets that chance as well.

when tails’ parents return, however, it’s clear that they have something big in mind for the acorn kingdom, which is currently going through… a lot. the king, maximillian acorn, is having trouble with Old Man Disease which has previously endangered a lot of his royal subjects (like he tried to order mass genocide once sorta endangerment. dude kinda sucks). because of this, the kingdom is in a transition of power from him to his son elias acorn, who previously ran away to avoid his royal responsibilities. elias is just kinda bad at his job

with the monarchy weakened, the kingdom still recovering from an eggman attack that nearly wiped out their entire population, and two democracy-loving foxes back in town, it’s the perfect setting for a lovely little coup.

(i always get amadeus and elias confused - amadeus is the one with the eyepatch.)

amadeus leads an army of restless citizens to try and overthrow the government, but is very quickly imprisoned. meanwhile, there’s a lot of trouble brewing between sonic and tails for... a number of reasons. sonic insults tails’ dad, sonic had previously dated a girl that tails liked, and tails is kinda getting sick and tired of sonic’s bullshit.

so tails sides with his parents and helps break his dad out of prison, thus making himself an enemy of the state.

when sonic shows up to stop the jailbreak, he and tails have a McFreaking Showdown and yell about their feelings n stuff. meanwhile, tails’ parents go straight to elias acorn and challenge him to a duel for the kingdom.

then like two seconds later sally acorn shows up and makes them talk it out over tea LMAO

so yeah, the coup is very abruptly cancelled and the gang decides to create a democratically elected council to govern alongside the royal family. and oh boy does that constitutional monarchy cause some problems later

and thus concludes the tails enemy of the state lore. House of Cards is a good read imo and there are a lot of good character moments that i skipped over! i think the biggest takeaway here is that sally acorn is the only emotionally intelligent sonic character lmao