#they're all on the wash cycle of my brain and some days one will just get spat back up again for my enjoyment. it's fun!!! 🙈💖

[starleska]

Heya. So um... I got a question. Which character you fell in love the most? Maxime Le Mal (Despicable Me 4) or Ronaldo (Helluva Boss) or maybe both of them? If someone already asked you that question, that's fine

oh...forgive me, you made me think about Maxime Le Mal and Rolando at the same time, and i think my brain blanked out for a second 🥴💖 what were we talking about? 🙈🙈

my first response to this excellent question is: why would i ever pit two bad bitches against each other? 🥰💖 i adore both characters in different ways for different reasons but i think trying to figure out which one i love 'more' is a bit like that 'two cakes' comic. it's less about one cake being better than the other - i'm just like, 'Holy shit! Two cakes!' 😂💖

however, this is an interesting pair as they have a lot of similarities to each other!! both older, fancily-dressed villains wearing tinted glasses (why is it always the tinted glasses?! 😖) who spend a great deal of time trying to cause distress to their targets and who are hiding a sexy monstrous form 😉 equally funny - the second i saw both of them in their respective trailers, i knew i was doomed. sometimes you just see a character and hear the autistic equivalent of the Kill Bill siren, you know? 😭💖

if we're going by a 'how ill is this guy making you' metric, i can confirm that i've done very little but think about our new favourite eel fellow for the past few days...and Maxime had me in a similar 'can't think about anything else' grip 🙈 a lot of my character fixations can be put on a spectrum somewhere between brief crush and Category 5 Autism Event, with the closeness to the latter being determined by 'how much have you talked about them', 'how many fanworks have you created in a short period of time', and 'how severely are they reducing your functioning' 😂 i think the absolute worst i've had over the past year or so were the Toymaker (i have never made that amount of fanworks for a character so quickly) and Nordic Bunny (i forgot to eat 💀💀). but!! i hold all of my beloved characters close to my heart even if they were just teeny-tiny little fixations, or if they're characters of fixations past...if something makes you happy even a little bit, i think they're just as worthy as the things which make you really happy too :3c

[rosie-b]

it’s them (again)

Written for @ladynoirjuly days 15 and 16!

Summary: Tikki and Plagg work at the cafe at the end of the world, where mortal souls rest and recharge for their next life with a magical drink made by the baristas. Here, souls can meet and decide to be soulmates, ordering their lives together at the counter, and one day, Plagg and Tikki's favorite mortal couple walks in. As cute as they are, their soulmate status is no guarantee since mortals never remember their past lives, but Ladybug and Chat Noir may have a bond like no other…

You can read the fic on AO3 (as a registered user) or below!

It was a quiet day at the cafe. The scent of fresh-baked brioches and cookies filled the air as a few patrons chatted in soft voices while sitting at the aquamarine booths filling the large expanses of the store.

Tikki was rinsing out one of the metal pitchers, humming a song to herself as she worked, when Plagg's urgent whisper reached her ear.

"It's those two again," he hissed, and Tikki looked up.

"Do you mean those two soulmates you're obsessed with are here?"

Plagg spluttered at Tikki's comment, and his face was completely red by the time Tikki nonchalantly turned around.

"I'm not obsessed with them," he insisted. "You're pretty interested in them, yourself, if I remember. You couldn't keep from cooing over them last time."

"Well, you can hardly blame me," Tikki responded, walking over to the shelf to replace the cup she'd washed. "They don't even know how adorable they are! It's so rewarding to watch them fall in love with each other again and again. They choose each other every time."

Plagg's expression softened, though it was only obvious to Tikki, who knew him well enough to read his every expression, no matter how inexpressive. She smiled in turn, wiping her damp hands off on her apron before asking, "Now, where are our favorite soulmates?"

"They're not soulmates yet," Plagg automatically responded. "They just got here, you know. They'll need some time to process before they decide."

"Of course," Tikki responded smoothly. "But we both know — or we hope we do — who they will decide on."

Plagg grunted. "Every time a human dies, their memory gets wiped, Tikki. You know that. Their souls arrive here, not their old body or their brains. We let them take on the appearance they had in their first life, just so there's something familiar, but they don't remember anything from Earth. All they know is what the soul guides told them when they were summoned — when they died. The usual spiel, you know; reincarnation is real, but you stay at this cafe and relax for a while before getting tossed into your next body. While you're here, you can pick a soulmate for your upcoming life. Meet as many people as you can, figure out who you want or if you'd rather go without a soulmate at all. When you're ready, tell the baristas" —Here Plagg motioned back and forth between himself and Tikki, an unneeded gesture that Tikki had to smile at— "Tell 'em who you choose, and get sent back to Earth for round the umpteenth or whatever."

"I know how the human life cycle works, Plagg," Tikki said, hiding a laugh in her voice.

Plagg rolled his eyes and huffed. "Yeah, yeah. My point is, they don't know they know each other, Tikki. I know we love it when they pick each other, but there's never any guarantee."

"Hmm. That's true enough, but over the history of humanity, they're the only two who've chosen each other every time, in each new life. When they die at different ages, one waits here for the other's soul to arrive, as if they're still connected by the same bond after they pass."

"That's impossible," Plagg countered. "Here, everyone is free of the ties they had on Earth."

"But once those two meet each other at our cafe, they always choose one another. Romantically or platonically, they always choose to be bonded in life. So, we send their souls to be born at the same time—"

"Roughly the same time," Plagg corrected. "Imperfect world, imperfect timing. Once they were a whole decade apart, age-wise."

"True," Tikki admitted with a wince. "But they've never lived a single life without each other. They complement each other perfectly, and make sure their time on Earth is fuller than it would have been, if it was spent with someone else."

Plagg nodded, looking away, past Tikki. She followed his gaze until she found the two lovers they'd been talking about. They were standing in the courtyard, blushing and smiling as they talked about something she couldn't hear from behind the main counter. The boy said something to the girl, and she paused in shock for a moment before giggling helplessly and playfully pushing him back a step.

"They are a perfect match for each other," Plagg said at last. "I'll admit I even try to make sure they don't have to wait long until they meet, back on Earth."

"You put a little extra whipped topping on their drinks," Tikki nodded. "I pretend that I don't see it." After a moment, she added, "I add a little extra sugar to their orders. I just want them to be happy, that's all! I— I'd do it for everyone if we had enough sugar!"

Plagg's lips stretched in a lazy smirk, and he looked back at Tikki. "You love them as much as I do."

Tikki smiled back at him. "We see too much of ourselves in them not to."

For a while, they stood there in amiable silence, watching their favorite soulmates stumble through the first meeting they could recall.

Already, the girl was blushing and the boy was looking at her with stars in his eyes. Whatever drew them to choose each other, it had worked like a charm, as it did every time. Plagg and Tikki could tell that they were already close to making their decision, just like they had the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, stretching back for millennia.

Sure enough, before much more time could pass, the newly formed couple headed inside the cafe at the end of the world, hand in hand.

Tikki’s heart melted at the sight of the shy, but confident smiles on the pair’s faces, and Plagg let out an approving hum.

“It’s just as cute as it was the first time,” Tikki commented, and Plagg didn’t need to respond for her to know he agreed. Instead, he quickly manned the counter, ready to talk to the cafe’s newest customers and take their order.

“H-hello,” the girl stuttered out once she and her partner reached the counter. “Is this where we order? Um, soulmates, that is, not just coffee?”

“Unless there’s another cafe you’ve seen around here,” Plagg said snarkily. Tikki rolled her eyes and lightly slapped his arm as she stepped forward.

“What my partner meant to say is yes,” she said firmly. “You’re at the right place. What can we do for you?”

“We’re here to pick our soulmate in the next life,” the boy said, looking at the girl beside him for confirmation. She smiled and squeezed his hand in hers reassuringly. He visibly relaxed and beamed as he smiled back at her.

“Awwww,” Tikki cooed, dropping her head into her hands as practically melted onto the counter. A happy grin glued itself to her face, and the couple in front of her blushed at the attention.

“Let me guess, you’re picking each other,” Plagg said in a bored voice. Tikki knew the excitement it was hiding, or she’d have swatted him again for his attitude.

“Yeck,” the girl squeaked, and blushed harder. “Wait, no, I meant yes! We are, and so we’re ready for the next step to rebirth.”

“Mm-hm,” the boy agreed, leaning his head on top of hers. “And for some reason, that’s getting a coffee, right?”

“Caffeine is the best way to prepare your soul for an unforgiving round of mortal life,” Plagg said plainly as he prepared two large takeaway cups for the couple. “What names should I put on these for you?”

The pair of soulmates jumped, evidently having not prepared for this. 

“Uh,” the girl said, and the boy similarly muttered, “Um.”

Plagg and Tikki exchanged mirthful glances. This was another one of their favorite parts at their job. Human souls never remembered their names, from the first or most recent life. However, some souls, these two in particular, gravitated towards the same names, over and over.

“I’ll be— Ladybug, I guess,” the girl stammered.

“Call me Chat Noir,” the boy said with a grin. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, my lady!” 

With a flourish, he bent and raised Ladybug’s hand to his lips. She blushed helplessly and grinned at her new soulmate.

“You too,” she managed to squeak out.

“All right, then, two large passion-strawberry frappes with whipped cream and white chocolate shaving. Try not to get cavities,” Plagg said as he slid their order across the counter.

“That would be hard since we don’t have actual bodies yet,” Chat Noir commented as he handed Ladybug her drink and took a sip of his. On tasting it, he did a double take, staring at the drink with huge eyes. “Woah! Will all mortal drinks taste this good, or is it just at this cafe?”

“A bit of both, I think,” Tikki said, still resting her head on one hand as she happily stared at her favorite soulmates. 

“Come on, Tiks, you know my drinks are the best in the universe,” Plagg complained. “Mortal drinks might taste almost as good if you’re the ones to make them for each other, though,” he added.

“What he means is, the secret ingredient is love,” Tikki whispered conspiratorially. “Especially once you get to Earth.” 

“I’ll remember that,” Chat Noir said, smiling at her. “Or I’ll try, anyway. Hey, Ladybug, what do you think of the drink? Do you like it?” he asked, sounding a little anxious.

The soul guide who’d led him must have let it slip that the drinks were only as good as the relationship and life they heralded. Now Chat Noir must be worried that his partner wouldn’t like being with him as much as he’d like being with her, Tikki realized.

Ladybug, who’d been sipping her drink, paused to give Chat Noir a smile. “It’s really good,” she said happily. “If it’s really like the soul guides said, then I’m excited to find out what makes my next life as good as this drink. Though I might already have a guess,” she tacked on shyly. 

Chat Noir blushed as he smiled at Ladybug. “I have a similar feeling,” he sighed. “I can’t wait to start my new life with you.”

“That’s exactly what you said last time,” Plagg remarked, half conscious of what he was saying.

Ladybug squinted. “What did you say?”

Plagg straightened. “Oh! Well, it’s just, last time, you guys chose each other, too, and he said the same thing. That’s all,” he said with a shrug.

Tikki resisted the urge to facepalm.

“We chose each other last time, too?” Chat Noir asked curiously. “Wait, do you know if our lives were good together? Are there any tips we should know for this life, to make it even better?”

Plagg faltered, so Tikki spoke up. “We don’t know most of what happens on Earth,” she explained gently. “We can only spare so much time to peek down at the mortal world. It’s a busy job here, you know?” At Ladybug and Chat’s falling faces, she quickly added, “But from what I know, you were very happy together. You know, you choose each other every time you can,” she blurted out.

“What? You mean we’ve, wait, how many times have we picked each other?” Ladybug asked.

Tikki crossed her arms. “I’m not allowed to say, technically. But it happens often enough that we started recognizing you. You’re my favorite soulmate pair!” she squealed. “You’re always so cute together! Plagg agrees, don’t you, Plagg?”

Plagg took off his glove and scratched his head. “It does make me happy to see you’re still happy with each other,” he admitted. “I’m not really one for all that mushy stuff, though. That’s more Tikki’s thing.”

“But you do think we’re good for each other?” Chat Noir pressed. “It’s not a mistake to keep choosing each other, is it? Not that I think it is!” he quickly added as his face twisted up. “But is it common to pick the same soulmate repeatedly? Are we supposed to branch out, work with new people? Are we doing this wrong, or right?”

“There’s nothing wrong with picking the same partner,” Plagg said emphatically. “It’s not your fault it’s so rare. Most mortals are just less well suited to each other, or get separated on the way here, or something. The universe just seems to like you.”

“Almost as much as you must like each other,” Tikki added with a wink. “Nothing this cute could ever be against the rules. I wouldn’t mind seeing it happen more often!”

Ladybug, blushing furiously, took another sip of her coffee. Tikki noticed she was still holding Chat Noir’s hand, like she’d been doing ever since they both got their frappes. It was really like they were always being pulled together, she noted. Or choosing to be. Maybe both.

“So, when do our next lives start, then?” Chat Noir asked after a while. “As soon as we finish drinking, or a little after?”

“It all depends,” Plagg said. “Keep an eye out for soul guides. They’re the ones that give the signal. The coffee’s just the fuel, not the thing that kickstarts your next life.”

“In the meantime, you can take your drinks anywhere to enjoy them,” Tikki said. “Inside at a table, or outside, by the beach or at the soul station. It’s fun to watch the newest souls arrive, if you ask me.”

Chat Noir and Ladybug exchanged glances and whispered to each other for a moment.

“Okay, we’ll head outside then!” Chat Noir said cheerily. “Thanks for all your help! See you next time around.”

“Enjoy your evening,” Ladybug said with a wave, and even Plagg couldn’t find the heart to tell her evening wasn’t really a thing at the end of the world. The sky was just like that.

“Have fun, kids,” he said, and watched as they exited the cafe.

“They’ll be back soon,” Tikki said, and Plagg realized he was frowning. She rubbed his back and gave him a smile.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, dusting off his spotless apron. “With how helpless mortals are, they’ll probably be back before we make another billion lattes. Ridiculous.”

“I bet it’s two billion,” Tikki said as she started restocking the straws. “And you’ll be the one looking for them when they show up. Since you always miss them so much,” she teased.

Plagg rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “Ah, you miss them too,” he huffed. “At least I’m willing to admit they might not always pick each other.”

“But they will,” Tikki insisted. “Ladybug and Chat Noir always choose each other. They’re the perfect soulmates.”

Plagg looked off in the distance as a smile curved his lips upwards. “Yeah,” he agreed contently. “They really are.”

[bonefall]

Hi, out of curiosity, do you have a list of prefixes and suffixes that you use to name characters in this au/rewrite? I'm just curious bc you clearly do a lot of research and I'm interested in just what all you'd put

I think I tried to start a google spreadsheet of prefixes and suffixes months ago, but I actually have an obscure brain quirk called ADHD, which stands for A Dude & His Distractions. I'm on 20 mg of being put in a washing machine (high spin cycle) a day.

But, it would just be for other people really. When I get the chance to name cats outright, I have a big mental list of names I already totally want to use, or think about the family they're part of and how their parents would name them. Like, I'll try to make it match their siblings, think about what sort of names their family typically uses, or use prefixes that canon hasn't used but I would.

Like, a Truckkit would be pretty fun for SkyClan. Gas in reference to marsh gas, Vetch or Teasel because they're some of my favorite plant names, I love "weird but ecologically valid" ones like Jelly, Cinnabar, Plantain, which describe something TOTALLY DIFFERENT from what you think those should mean.

(jelly = jelly ear mushroom, cinnabar = type of moth, plantain = type of grass)

So... all that to say, unfortunately I do not have a list. At least, not one that's physical. The closest you're gonna get for now is the Clanmew lexicon.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Hello! I've been kinda stalling sending this for absolutely no reason, but I'm gonna do it today because it's going to rot in my brain if I don't. Actually, maybe you've done this ask before? Idk, my brain is all scrambled up rn but I'm gonna ask this anyway cause why not

What would happen if Yuu got their period in the Kaiju!AU? How would the Kaiju react?

I can imagine Grim and Crowley freaking out, trying to figure out what's wrong with Yuu. And all the while, Yuu's like, "What are you guys doing? Hey, stop bombarding me! Personal space! What- why are you guys sniffing me!?" And since Yuu doesn't understand what they're saying, they can't answer them on why they smell like blood. Or it the scenario could work with any other of the Kaiju's, too

Wait, how would Yuu even get menstrual products anyway? Do they get them from Sam?? How would they even get those type of products from Sam??? Maybe he get some of them from that wreck of a lab from the beginning somehow? Idk, but I thought it'd be a fun idea

Yeah, this is all I have rn since my brain is cranked all the way up on slow mode today. I hope you have a good day and goodbye! (Oh, and this can be a gender neutral thing with Yuu just being AFAB)

WARNING: Menstrual cycle discussion under read more! Will be using they/them pronouns since gender neutral/AFAB was requested.

Oh goodness, being in the Kaiju AU is going to be a little more difficult for Yuu whether they’re female or AFAB. 😂 Between staying in Crewel’s den or at Crowley’s nest, it’s tricky to get the supplies that they need or communicate to the Kaiju that this stuff they’ve piled up is necessary. Given that Grim does understand what Yuu is saying though, he is able to help at least get that point across…when it suits him anyway (if Yuu makes even more of a fuss than usual, he’ll translate for the others).

I’ll go ahead and explain that—at first—Yuu had to get a bit creative with their monthly cycle once it actually hit. I’d imagine that their body might temporarily shut down that function due to the stress of their new environment, being surrounded by giant monsters that could literally level mountains with a swipe, and the near constant sense of impending doom—even if they’re safe with the guardian trio. This is good for Yuu as it gives them time to finally venture out of the den with Grim to explore the other facilities as it would take a while before they can get back to the original lab.

Luckily for Yuu, the closest facility—although abandoned—was still in good condition and had most of the supplies that they’ll need. In fact, this is where they found the music player that Grim thought was a chew toy! So imagine the sheer excitement and relief Yuu would have the moment they found not one, not two, but a whole crate full of pads, tampons, period cups, and even extra unopened packages of underwear!

You might be wondering why there was so much. Well, because there are female researchers on the teams and the island is not exactly in the most convenient of places, which means that getting supply drops are far and few. Especially when you have creatures that aren’t the Kaiju who can and will attempt to attack any vehicle that comes near the island. I’ll get a bit more detail on the island’s setup and whatnot, but that’s a bit of context on how Yuu is essentially set when it comes to non-perishable items that could be used for a comfortable existence on the island of behemoths!

Sam may have found a few crates of other supplies that had been washed up, but it’s not like he knows what they’re used for unless he observed the humans using the tools out in the field. Even so, Sam will know when Yuu needs something and will make sure to have them available on his next visit. How else did he know to bring a bed when Yuu wanted something comfortable to sleep on?

Now, as for how the Kaiju would react when Yuu finally starts their cycle. If you were expecting Crowley to be freaking out over Yuu’s health like he did in the Twisted Monsterland AU, you’d be mistaken. He does get flustered, but more like a “my tiny human is too young to mate!!!” sort of way while Crewel just sighs at his theatrics. They would be concerned to notice if Yuu’s cycle causes them a lot of pain and discomfort, but luckily the facilities have plenty of painkillers and antibiotics that are available—all that’s required is MIRA to access the appropriate amount needed to get Yuu through their current cycle!

Surprisingly, Grim becomes more protective over Yuu whenever they’re around the other Kaiju. Whenever he notices that they’re uncomfortable (whether they just took painkillers or they’re exhausted or some other feeling they get during this time), he will pick them up or curl around them to purr up a storm and hiss at whoever comes near too fast.

He’s swatted at the first years more than once. 😆

The other Kaiju boys would be confused as to what’s happening. Sure, they know about cycles on an instinctive level (and they understand what it means), they’re just more confused as to the frequency. Do humans not have specific mating seasons? Eventually it does get to the point where they know to be less rowdy when it’s that time of the month, either bringing Yuu their favorite treats or snacks that they managed to get (and once it became clear that one particular fruit tasted exactly like chocolate pudding to Yuu, it became a staple) or taking naps with them. Yuu is going to be one very comfortable human once they figure out a good rhythm to manage things!

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but there's more than one way to survive in the wild, and with MIRA at Yuu's side, their chances of survival were better than they were before! UvU Also fun fact, there really is a fruit that tastes like chocolate pudding! 0v0

[ashleywool]

why are menstrual cycles

I began birth control meds a few years ago when my periods went from "tolerable nuisance" to "incapacitating sensory nightmare." I stopped taking BC as of June 8 so they wouldn't interfere with the cortisol testing.

Mind you: I'd had some intermittent spotting when I was on BC, but it was so brief and occasional that I was getting used to not even needing to keep maxipads around anymore, just an "emergency" bundle of pantyliners. I never bled enough to justify even attempting to use a tampon.

Yesterday, for the first time since 2021, I got my FULLLLLL period.

I was JUST beginning to come to terms with having to stay off BC at least through September to fully determine if my current health problems are a result of BC or if Otis (the cyst/tumor/both on my pituitary gland) is the real culprit. I thought, meh, it's annoying to have to wait, but I don't need this medication THAT badly anyway, it'll be a good way to see how my reproductive system calibrates itself--

Y'ALL. I forgot how AWFUL this is.

I forgot what it's like to be able to smell EVERYTHING--and in New York, there's even more of everything. Like, I can wash the dishes in the dark and know when the pot isn't entirely clean because I can smell a trace amount of olive oil. I can be awakened from sleep because I can SMELL the exact moment one of the cats uses the litterbox (the pine litter absorbs the smell almost instantly, which is amazing, but in the 0.2 seconds between the crap leaving their butt and the litter absorbing the smell, I SMELL IT).

I forgot what it's like to feel EVERY SINGLE ATOM that touches my skin and overthink every article of clothing in my closet before I get dressed for the day. Like, I can shave my legs and then FEEL my hair growing back. I put on a face mask in the doctor's office and my lip eczema is lurking right there with a taser like, "hahahaha, you say you care about public safety, but do you really? How much? *taser zap* HOW ABOUT NOW?"

I forgot the LEG CRAMPS--like, why? Yeah, the uterine liner is shedding, what does that even have to do with my legs? My back, fine. But leave my legs alone.

I forgot, most of all, what it's like to just cry at the smallest things. Like, not JUST the things that make sense to be sad/stressed/angry about, but like, I'll open a box of Scotch-Brite pads and then cry because they're all so perfectly positioned in that bag and I'm about to take one out and separate it from its brothers and sisters and they'll never see it again and now I'm so sad I want to jump off a bridge but I can't because my cats will miss me and I could never do that to my parents and--

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP DOING THIS EVERY MONTH until we figure out whether or not the meds that prevented me from having to do this every month are causing MORE harm?

And if they are, then I'll have to...I don't know, stop taking them? Try something different? And if they're not, then I need to do whatever else we need to do in order to prove that the only reasonable next step is LITERAL BRAIN SURGERY LIKE--?!

Ok. I'm gonna go cry into my iced coffee about Scotch-Brite pads. And maybe put on real clothes. Maybe.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday.

385 million years ago, fish had fingers.

In Las Vegas, casinos do not have any clocks.

We change our voice when we talk to people we like.

Every year, around 3,000 people get bubonic plague.

You are more likely to be friends with people that smell like you.

It is believed that the Library of Congress has sex tape audio of JFK.

Beer mats were originally placed on top of glasses to keep the dust out.

In 2021, Americans streamed a total of 15 million years’ worth of content.

J.K. Rowling was the first person to ever become a billionaire from writing books.

Super Mario wears a hat because his creator, Shigeru Miyamoto, couldn't draw hair.

If everyone had access to soap to wash their hands, it would save 600,000 lives a year.

55 million years ago, the North Pole had tropical weather, with alligators and palm trees.

Listening to music for at least 5-10 minutes a day makes it easier to deal with emotional stress.

Women cry on average between 30 and 64 times a year, while men cry between 6 and 17 times.

Kanbari nyūdō is a Japanese spirit that lurks around toilets on New Year’s Eve and tries to lick you.

Egyptian Pharaohs were once required to masturbate into the River Nile to keep its flow cycle stable.

Life is not about the people who act true to your face. It's about the people who remain true behind your back.

The chills you sometimes get when listening to music is actually caused by the release of dopamine in your body.

People say "never give up" but sometimes giving up is the best option because you realize you're wasting your time.

When presented with various crisp packets, a gull will almost always choose the same flavour as a nearby human is eating.

According to a study, the two most common feelings that people tend to bring out in others are enthusiasm and boredom.

Scientists say the universe is made up entirely of neurons, protons and electrons. They seem to have forgotten about morons!

Robert Downey Jr was once arrested after he was caught driving naked in his Porsche with cocaine, heroin, and a .357 magnum.

Nutella was invented during WWII, when an Italian pastry maker mixed hazelnuts into chocolate to extend his chocolate ration.

Your first instinct is usually right. So, always go with your first instinct, even if it's a bad idea because bad ideas make good stories.

The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.

When you truly believe in what you are doing, it shows. And it pays. Winners in life are those who are excited about where they're going.

Grab a banana for breakfast! They are known as a happy fruit. Eating just one can help relieve irritable emotions, anger and or depression.

Bedtime procrastination is the psychological phenomenon when a person stays up too late in order to feel like they have some time to themselves.

The hottest part of the day isn't noon but between 3.00 – 4.00. The earth warms during the day but continues to get warmer until the late afternoon.

Regular physical activity can boost creativity by up to 60%, as movement increases blood flow to the brain, fostering new connections and ideas.

Research shows that talking to yourself can improve focus, task performance, and problem-solving abilities. It's not a sign of madness but a tool for self-guidance.

Between 1913 and 1914, Sigmund Freud, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Emperor Franz Joseph, Archduke Franz Ferdinand and Leon Trotsky all lived in Vienna within 4km of each other.

Smigus-Dyngus (or ‘Wet Monday’) is a Polish holiday where boys splash girls with water and gently spank them with pussy willow branches. It's a playful tradition celebrated on Easter Monday.

Halle Berry’s divorce has officially been finalized. She will have to pay $8,000 per month in child support to her ex-husband Oliver Martinez and give him 4.3% of any income she receives above $2,000,000.

Sleeping in complete darkness can lead to more vivid and memorable dreams. The absence of light signals the brain to produce melatonin, which promotes REM sleep, the stage most associated with dreaming.

In 1993, a Frenchman named Emile Leray driving a Citroen car in a remote area of the Moroccan desert had a breakdown and became stranded. To survive, he tore down the car, built a motorcycle from the parts and then rode it back to civilization.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[csa-survivor-confessions]

(?)

Hi, anon who recently posted the ask starting with "Warning: long. If replying is too exhausting, feel free to ignore this <3 I understand it dw" (tw for graphic imagery & danger I guess?)

I've been tracking my dreams more closely and the nightmares have actually not gotten better at all lmao. I've dreamt sth SA related like 3 times this month already. So that sucks. I thought I was improving at least a bit. It's been over three years now, I'm so tired and angry and I want to scream my lungs out until they're splattered on the pavement.

I witnesses two guys fighting at my bus stop and it scared me so badly I almost tripped onto the street (and into my upcoming bus so that wouldn't have been great for me) and it's like whatever but I wish I could just handle things. Everything's exhausting and I can't even bring myself to eat a vegetable I've had for two weeks because that would mean going into the kitchen (other people/strangers) and cutting/ washing the vegetable (feels too exhausting.)

At least watching my fave show makes me ecstatic,,

I hope your days have been better<3

hello,

Tracking your dreams might not be helping. It's not necessary to record them in any detail. If you want to track triggers that's a perfectly good thing to do, but you might not need to be so focused on the content of the nightmares.

It makes perfect sense that you are hurting. Dealing with trauma can be very hard. And it's reasonable that it hasn't gotten better on its own. Sadly for a lot of people, it doesn't get better without some attention spent on letting your brain and nervous system heal and relieve a lot of traumatic stress.

It sounds like you are stuck in a hypaoroused state, meaning your body is stuck without your nervous system activating. it makes people feel like there is no energy and makes doing anything hard. This can be related to freeze & shutdown trauma response. it's a common place for people with trauma to go through.

Practising some coping skills can always be helpful. Whether we are in a hyperarousal state or hypoarousaed state breathing can be really helpful. When our nervous system is more regulated we have more calming energy.

One Example

2-to-1 Breathing: This is a practice that helps give us a path to regularity and best engaging the parasympathetic system. It also requires a powerful redirect of focous to our breathing and the way that it feels. Knowing how proper breathing feels is good to know when we have started to become dysregulated. This is generally hard to do during flashbacks or mid panic attack, most effective before or after the most extreme point. Remember diaphragmatic breaths, and try to either sit or stand as straight as possible! Steps: Count the duration of both exhalation and inhalation as you breathe normally and adjust it gently so you are exhaling and inhaling for the same amount of time. Most people are comfortable with a count of 3 or 4 counts for each exhalation and inhalation. So one full breath lasts for a count of either 6 or 8. So you are breathing in 4 and exhaling 4 counts. Now, without altering the duration of the total breath cycle, adjust your breathing by slowing the exhalation and gently quickening the inhalation to achieve a 2-to-1 ratio. For a breath lasting 6 counts, this means exhaling for 4 and inhaling for 2. For 8 you can adjust slightly exhaling for 6 and inhaling for 3.

[more breathing and grounding skills: Coping Skills Masterposts: Panic Attacks, Flashbacks & Dissociation]

Stimming toys might also be useful in both situations. You can try some out and see if different ones work at different times. When you are overwhelmed and want to scream or energy is missing.

Examples:

Calming rocks/crystals

Cats cradle

Chewy necklaces

Fidget Spinner, fidget cubes, twirling loops

Rings that have a bit to spin around

Sensory brushes.

Stress balls/Koosh balls/Massage balls

Tangles

Thinking putty or silly putty

Velcro

Weighted Compression Vests

Like in a situation with the bus, you could maybe have something that you practice using to help with not feeling as out of the body and cause issues like losing balance.

[more about this here: Coping Skills: Sensory Aids]

You might be able to keep some food in your room. They would have to be shelf stable but things like trail mix, pre-poped popcorn, dried fruit, chips, nuts, granola and other things.

Getting some bagged salad could be fine. Theoretically, you could eat it out of the bag. but overall it is veggies that won't require cutting anything or washing them.

Practising slow movements like stretching and walking can be good. I know it's the last thing you want to do when your body is stuck in a low-energy place in your body.

You could also try moving some with the show that is making you happy. If it's getting some energy up in your body you could stretch while you watch. It is deeply helpful for your body to not be stuck in that freeze & shutdown state.

There is nothing wrong with you and you haven't done anything bad. you can get through this, it's okay to be unhappy and hurting from trauma. You're surviving and you will get to living.

Be Blessed,

-Admin 2

[100dayproductivity]

51/100.

Good job again yesterday caring for my toe and leg. It takes so much time though! Who has time for self-care day in and day out?? I will try to foot bath & foam roller again today but I have other priorities today.

I did get the two tasks on my list done yesterday: shred my oldest income tax documents; and sort out money owed between me and my ex. (Money owed is for expenses incurred on our children, so if one of us pays for something, the other owes their share of the expense. Normally he pays for most things and sends me a bill for my portion. Occasionally I'm the one that pays for something, which is why there is a bit of accounting involved sometimes. Yes, it's tedious.)

Continuing on with income tax, the next step is to go through my email inbox and put everything that I need for my taxes into a separate folder. One of these years I will be organized and put things in a separate folder as soon as I get them so they're already corralled come tax time, but 2022 was not the year. Geez, here's a brain wave: how about I create a 2023 folder while I'm at it so I can start doing it for this year?

Other priorities today: get ready for my week with my kids. That means grocery shopping for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack food for them. Well guess what? I already accomplished some of that this morning. I picked up bread and lunch fixings, milk and cereal. I've taken beef out of the freezer for dinner tonight. I still have fruit for their after school snack. I may need to just pop over to the produce store for some vegetables, although I may be able to make do tonight with the bit of cabbage I still have left and buy more produce tomorrow.

Other priorities today: go to the pet store to pick up litter and poop bags. Well guess what? I already did that too! (Winning!) Not only that, but I brought the dog in my care with me on the errands (she loves the pet store--they give her treats; hates the food shopping because she has to wait outside) so I got the walk and errands all done in one go before lunch.

Priorities yet to be done today: tidy kitchen table and take some fruit out of the fridge before my kids get home; tidy stove and counter tops before it's time to make supper; and put away laundry before end of the day. That reminds me, there are towels from a dog pee accident in the washing machine that have gone through a rinse but need to go through a wash cycle. Forgot about it yesterday.

My elderly cat was snuggling with me for warmth while I was writing this. Hate to disturb him when he's snuggling for warmth! But he just left so no excuses; gotta get on my chores list.

[demcnsinmymind]

"Pull me back to reality. Good one" Lance snorted as he got walking, having another suspicious look around the place. And fuck did it still look like the 'real' place. Smell like it, too. Old. Abandoned. Rotten to the core, even if it didn't quite look that part yet. He took a deep breath and picked up the pace a bit, eager to get away from that 'fight' or whatever it was, though sure enough, he soon couldn't help but ask.

"What happens if you gotta pull me out and they're not done with their little dance back there? This is all in my head, right? Don't suppose that will be much of a picnic."

I can snap your neck in under a second he remembered her say. So yeah, he was pretty dead set on taking it back out of here in one piece, too. As she explained things a little more, Lance stayed quiet for a while, stopping dead in his tracks when, as if on cue, they passed that room down the hallway. Yellow paint crumbling away, walls covered, floor to ceiling in words upon words upon words. Most of them written by his 'associate' But some of them written by him. Lance stood in the doorway for a moment, looking in. Remembering the days, nights, weeks, months or however long it had been in there. Doing just that. Trying to hold on to his identity. His name. His date of birth. His truth and reality, not everything they'd tried to brain wash him into thinking all the way back in 1948.

He turns his head and looks back at her, angry now.

"I already got that. I never lost of any of it. Always was mine, and always will be" he replied, then stepped away from the door, approached her again.

"I've gone through the whole schtick already. Clung to it with all I got. And that's how I made it out of here. I know none of this is real. There's got to be more to this than this."

He reached for the door handle, then pulled the door closed. Opened it up again. The room was still there. Closed the door again. Opened it up again. "One. Two. Three. For. Five" he counted with each cycle, until just as predicted, everything changed on his fith count. The yellow paint no longer behind the door. No room behind the door. Just another pitch black corridor.

"Third door on the left. After you" he said next, voice strained, as he pointed for her to step through the door first.

continued from (x) with @demcnsinmymind

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of the shapeless masses that were still fighting each other all around them, barely unable to tell which one was ‘his’. And the more she talked, the more a part of him couldn’t help but wonder if he was starting to become something similar. Because he certainly had his days when he could barely tell himself apart from it anymore. But then he closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and shook his head angrily. Because no. He wasn’t like them. He was human. Despite it all, he was still himself. And that mattered the most to him. When she talked about snapping his head, it sent a shiver down his spine. And not just because this was a horrifying thing to hear and picture, but also because just like that, one of the two shapeless masses let go of the other with a maddening roar and went straight for him, trying to reclaim, re-possess and…protect? Claim its territory? Lance didn’t quite know. And it didn’t really matter anyway because in here it didn’t work. Not after everything she’d done with that ritual of hers, everything she shoved into his skull to try and free him in some way, give him back his control. It went right through him, producing that shiver down his spine, and then went right at the other shadow again when it tried to come at him next. Definitely not a fun sight next to the snapped neck comment. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Lance took a step back and scanned the hallways around them once more to get a better grip on where to go. And the sheer thought of that basement, of him really having to go there again, actually made him curse. “Fuck”  pressed out through gritted teeth, but the more he looked at those shapeless masses fighting, the more he figured that maybe the memory of that room was gonna be the lesser evil here. So he took all the courage he could gather, and turned on his heels to get going. But not before shooting another final look at her, too. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’m gonna go look for it now. Are you coming along for this, or am I supposed to do this on my own?”

Kara hadn’t been able to resist the urge to reach out as her shadow passed, a few tendrils lingering even after it returned to that lethal dance. They clung to her fingers as she brought them to rest just above her heart, the thin wisps of darkness helping to ease the empty feeling that had been plaguing her since the entity had manifested itself. It helped her feel a little bit more solid, less like a soul adrift with no anchor, and with that feeling came a slight sigh of relief.

“I should accompany you, just in case you require someone to pull you back to reality…and the anchoring process is one you should ideally be walked through.”

As well it would do her no good to be left alone here, not when it was clearly a manifestation of the other’s consciousness. Who knew how much damage could be caused by a simple miss-step, or if one of the shadowy entities managed to gain the upper hand. It was not a clear-cut scenario, and Kara was not as certain about things as she would like to seem. This was nothing she had ever done before, and while the earlier ritual was nothing too out of her realm of expertise, this was something she had only read about.

“You will have to find a part of your identity that you consider to be solid. For many it is their name, or date of birth, or some other bit of information. For others it is a memory, an item, or even a location. Whatever it is you must find a way to plant it at the heart of this place, and change it to become yours and yours alone. A sort of refuge, or a reminder of who you are. Something that the entity can not touch, no matter how hard it tries.”

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Wolfrider anon here.

In response to the last ask, I guess I'd to agree that there's not going to be any simple one size fit all applications of this when it comes to various disabilities. However I do want to add a counter perspective when it comes to some of the mental disabilities, in terms of adding to that diverse tapestry that you were trying to weave.

As I said, I was diagnosed in late 2020 with ADHD. And as somebody who had it all of his life, but did not realize it, and his life became more complex as he had to steadily take over more and more of his own personal upkeep let alone the upkeep of others, if I could have a miracle cure to get rid of it I'm about 95% positive I would. I discovered that the lack of control that I always felt over my own life was also the likely source of my anxiety and my depression. Medication has been immensely useful for me in this regard (and has actually dealt with most of the anxiety, and pretty much halted the depressive states I had all the time), but fun fact I live in the states and so medication is balls when it comes to wallets. The best medications are far too expensive, and I'm steadily moving through various generics that I'm discovering are not effective in their own fun ways (which again, that has a whole other angle that you would have to figure out or deal with when it comes to how different medications that are meant to treat the same thing our reacted to by someone with a werewolves nervous system... Or different werewolves, or the same werewolf when also taking multiple medications).

I agree, that most disabled people almost certainly don't want cures, so much as they want recognition and for life to be made more accessible for them. They're just other people with varying levels of ability on the spectrum of ability. So you're definitely going to need to ask the opinions of many different people and you're going to get many different answers.

But as someone who has not had it be a part of my identity for very long, and has just suffered through the symptoms of it undiagnosed, I would definitely look into a cure if given a chance. Again that now of wolf thought, was my ideal in this situation.

I'm going to one of the worst of my symptoms, which was executive dysfunction. As a medication loses its effectiveness, my tendency to just sort of sit and watch things go by, things that I need to do, like I'm being driven by some other entity that's keeping me in my current focus or course even if it's just sitting there, has become more and more maddening the more that I've recognized it. I try to break myself out of it by counting to 10, 20, 30. If I'm watching a show, I'll do the next commercial or next episode lie to get myself to stop. But if my brain is fighting me on it it feels like I'm asking myself to willingly walk into fire, the degree to which I do not want to do different things. I could be as simple as checking my texts, or as complex as washing the dishes. I hear some people try to weaponize the adrenaline rush of deadlines to effectively do it, and I do know procrastination has been a serious problem for me all my life, with me doing some of my best work in the final days or even hours leading up to a deadline, but I've not been able to get it to work when it comes to smaller tasks and items that are more everyday. If I had a cure that could get rid of that executive dysfunction I would 100% take that, even if the rest of the ADHD symptoms remained.

Yeah, this is a fair point. I probably would get rid of mine, because apparently, Anon, we are vibing with our ADHD takes. Equally though, I also haven't known about it for that long (only a few years really), and I don't really know what parts of me, if any, are a positive result of having it. If I could make it vanish tomorrow, what might I lose that I'd miss? I have no idea.

Man I'd love some of that executive function, though. And proper sleep cycles. And other things.

Thank you for this!

[elderflowerchampagne]

148

I'm so, so glad that pre-show Manderley is back, mostly because I forgot how badly I usually need to pee right before the show.

I got my driver's license relatively late in life - by which I mean last July - and I used to joke that no road rage could ever be more infuriating than getting stuck behind audience members who are clinging together or blocking the doorways or stairs. I have yet to be wrong about that. If you choose to wrap your arms around your girlfriend's stomach and then both maneuver around like a bewildered horse, you deserve whatever happens after that.

God bless Emily Oldak, really. At my last show before the shutdown I was surprised to see her as Lady Macduff, and these past sad two years I've been telling myself that if that was it, if the show never came back, I was glad that was how I went out. Even gladder that it wasn't.

Much as I've been thinking about Danvers, I've never really considered that she thinks Duncan is anything other than an annoying guy who won't stop groping her. When Oldak/Danvers held his shirt to her face, she looked like she was about to cry. I don't think it's that she's in love with him, or that she feels guilty for helping take him out. I don't know. Danvers loves stasis, and controlling people, and also I assume other stuff.

One of my favorite things to do is watch the nurse in the back office. Joy Marie/Nurse takes out a knife and carves a very precise MB into the textbook page.

When the crowd is awful I tend to gravitate to the fifth floor, and since the reopening I've been spending a lot of time just opening drawers and reading records and generally paying attention to all the things I took for granted. I spent a long time going through the files in the doctor's office, and reading the notes scribbled on the blotter. One of the patients washed her hair on the first day of her menstrual cycle and needs to be monitored. A few visits back I found a pamphlet indicating that doing so will make a woman insane. So. Check on her.

I also found a medical journal up there, which is probably the most interesting thing I've ever found in the McK, and the only thing I've ever wished I could take with me to read in the light. One of the articles in it discussed the reasons couples remain childless. #1 is self centeredness (31%), and #2 is the wife's career (22%). I could have a field day with all the thematic implications. Also I don't remember what the other reasons were, but "we had a kid but my wife was nursing it and then bashed its brains out" wasn't on there.

Speaking of the fifth floor, the crucial object in my go-to special spot has been REMOVED! Hope it's back soon.

JWW is a wonderfully silly, joyous Porter, but nobody here needs me to tell them that. Ruth/Agnes also flung her room key at him, and then she giggled after he beat her to the phone. I can't imagine what Agnes has to be laughing about, but she's a joy to watch.

The painting in the matron's hut is, I assume, Mary and Joseph on their way to Bethlehem (or back? I don't remember if Jesus is with them...) Anyway, if he's not, that would imply Mary's pregnant, which of course would tie the matron to Lady Macduff. I just Googled it to see if I could find the painting and confirm. No dice, but "mary joseph donkey bethlehem painting" yielded an incredible amount of clip art.

When going through the ledger in Paisley Sweets, I came across two things of interest: 1) Whoever wrote "non-pareils" misspelled it as "non-perils", which made me laugh, because we could really, really use some non-perils these days. 2) There's a letter from the proprietor describing his plans for Mayfair, where he says they're expecting a much greater turnout than in the past two years. Made me smile.

I started writing these things years ago to help me remember what happened each visit, and they've served that purpose well. I'm sorry they've gotten so myopic and introspective, but it's interesting (for me, at least), to look back across them and see how they way I see and think has changed. I'm not good at big-picture stuff, I'm afraid. If I was I'd have a different career. I don't like big picture stuff; I like critical analysis and being a hater, which is what academia is.

K

[theirloveisgross]

I started a little Twitter project 20 days ago, and it's been consuming me, but it's all good, I'm fine. I'M FINE. I just thought it would be a great and fun way to get some education on what's happened in the last 11 years. Yes, it's focused on Louis (because we're WHIPPED AF, people) but where there's a Louis, there's a Harry, so- same thing. i will not start a harry account, or maybe next year if i manage to keep up with louis' until i complete it full circle.

ANYWAY, the reason for this post was me finding some possible clothes sharing shenanigans in the middle of August 2014. People had made the connection already, and even question it, I'm not claiming to be the first one, but I hadn't seen it in an organized manner so... here we go!

/POSSIBLE SCENARIO: I think it's Louis' hoodie, and Harry just grabbed it. Oh, but not because they share a closet or anything, they barely talk to each other let alone share a living space, ha-ha. It was because Harry was on the tour bus before going to the gym, and as you know, Louis used to live in the tour bus, obviously, so his sweater was just lying around and Harry was chilly from the rain and he was like "this will do", and then Louis came back to the bus and was like "where is me jumpah?!" and then when he found out Harry had worn it the whole day, he was mad, and so he put it through three washes and four drying cycles to get the stench of his mortal enemy off it, and so it shrunk a bit. /end crack

Now, seriously...

WARNING: This post will end in a DEBUNK. yes i started this post and when i was almost done BOOM a photo debunking the whole shit so enjoy the ride

Meme by meme queen @justmybeautifulthings.

✨ Beautiful context under the cut! ✨

It's the morning of August 12 2014 in Washington DC and Harry goes out for a run in the pouring rain! Or did it start raining after he'd started his run? It's an important question. Anyway, fans spot him and he agrees to take a cute photo with them.

Since apparently a run is not enough exercise for a day, he goes to Soul Cycle (it's a chain of indoor cycling gyms, if you're new to the fandom and, like me, thought they were only fancy gyms (which- they are), and apparently H had some sort of promo thing going on with them (haven't looked too much into it)) for MORE EXERCISE! He then gets stalked from Soul Cycle down to his hotel garage by a bunch of "fans". He did not want to take photos and they got mad, and he was so gracious about it all, we don't deserve him. Anyway, here's a post explaining the situation, it was kinda gross. They managed to snap two photos despite him saying no, and this one was one of them:

Then later that night, he was out and about in Georgetown, and took a couple of pics with fans (they have both deleted their twitter accounts by now).

After that, he went back to his hotel and there were probably hundreds of fans waiting for him there because there are hundreds of pics like these ones:

The girl in the first photo is the same girl from the stalker group that talked to him earlier that day. Again, the fact that Harry went ahead and spent a good chunk of time taking photos late at night, even after most likely the same group of people disrespected him earlier, and then they were still there waiting for him to come back... it's just... we don't deserve him, he's way too nice.

Why am I talking about all this if I wanted to talk about the stupid grey sweater? I guess, maybe, because in my head he didn't want photos in that sweater? Nah... I guess it's because I'm more and more impressed by the kind of person Harry is and I guess I wanted it archived. Whatever.

So! People made the connection of this sweater to Louis wearing a very similar one at a show in Dublin on May 24 2014.

I was on the fence, because the light grey on the sweater looked darker, but then on photos with a lot of light it looked like the same grey on Harry's sweater, because even if it's a shitty photo, it seems like there was a lot of light in that parking lot. I was ready to CLOWN!

Then I was like... well, it does look longer on Harry than on Louis, so that doesn't make much sense, but I was still in very much clown mode.

Then on August 23 2014 Louis met some fans somewhere in Dallas late at night, and that's when my brain reminded me of Harry's sweater on the 12th.

Yes, let's appreciate Louis' perfect silly face. How he manages to look this extremely cute is beyond me. Also, his hair. And his pants.

ENOUGH SIMPING.

Ehem, the sweater. SO! Now it looks even shorter on Louis, but it IS the same sweater he wore on stage some 3 months ago, I'm 99.28% sure. Yes, it's probably been washed several times so my made-up crack story from the beginning of the post might not be that far-fetched.

I clowned and clowned and was already claiming this was the same fucking sweater. It belonged to Louis and Harry borrowed it. Yes. Again, hence my crack story from the beginning. So I started making this post to be like "lalala this is cute it's a silly sweater, it might be the same one, or it might be a very similar one but i think it's the same one, because they're disgusting and share everything lalala".

Then this photo from the morning of August 13 2014 jumped at me:

There are two huge letters on the back of the sweater. And...

Yeah. No big ass letters on Louis' sweater.

I'm pretty confident Harry is the person wearing the sweater on that photo and not the person with the white shirt, but we will never know for sure unless we somehow get better pics.

Now, according to this post, they think the sweater is from Soul Cycle. I couldn't find any image from the back, so I'm not sure if it would have had those letters. Or maaaybe the sweater he wore the first time was actually Louis' and then this one was his... LMAO. Nah, nah, I'm not that terrible. I'm gonna for debunking this.

So there it is, not the same sweater, but the same viiiibes. ✌️

P.S.: I love debunking stuff, it's my passion. However, I really did not want to debunk this one, but then it just laid out itself in front of me, so fiiine, I guess it's debunked. Bye.

[lu-undy]

Sniper is a lone man, talks very little even asa kid. When we gets hurt he doesn't say anything, he doesnt whine, he doesn't want to be a bother. But his back hurts a lot. Sniper (tries to) ignores the pain as always, but Spy notices. And he tries to convince Sniper to let him give him a massage because the pain is affecting his job. So yeah, just a massage, a professional one. But Spy's hands touch just the right places, and the ambience is amazing, and maybe that massage has a happy ending❤️🐑

Funny you mention that! I have already written it in one of my fics ^^ But here is something completely different from what I already wrote in the past, I hope you’ll enjoy it! :D

The tall man grumbled. 

He wished the windowsills were higher so that he didn't have to spend his day slouched that way. He sometimes would sit on a wooden crate but that would end up giving him a sore bottom. Everyday, for every battle, the choice was there: sore bottom or back pain?

That day, he had gone for back pain with a side of slight headache, the former causing the latter. 

Sniper took his shots, his jaw clenching and his shoulder contracting more than was necessary to compensate for the pain in his back. He reloaded and shot again. The cycles of reloads and shots spiralling for the entire duration of the match, along with his pain growing and his posture degrading.

After the battles, he went back to spawn and put his rifle in his locker. It needed a good clean but he just wanted a hot shower and a nap, or maybe just lying down for a while. He put his hand on his shoulder and tried massaging himself but of course, it was to no avail. A massage only works if one is completely resting while someone else did the job. 

Had he been back home, he would have asked his mother. But she was thousands of miles away and he knew that calling her wouldn't help. 

Sniper walked back through the base.

Nah, it wouldn't help. She would worry from far away and he didn't want to be a bother for anyone and especially not his dear mother. What about his father then? Nah, he would get told off for sure. 

"Told ya, gunman's no proper job, son. And you'll get hurt."

"Dad, it's only back pain…" 

"Does it hurt or not? It does! And is it because of shootin'? Yeah it is! So the point stands." 

He opened his van's door and shook his head as if to shake away his father's voice that echoed in the walls of his mind. This entire discussion had rolled in his head as if he had it for real. 

Sniper threw his hat and sleeveless jacket away before sinking on his couch. Oh it was an old, worn out thing that couldn't possibly be less comfortable. He wouldn't usually mind but he twisted his back left and right, trying to find a position that would hurt him the least. 

"Bugger…" 

He unbuttoned his polo shirt and slid a hand behind his back. It hurt… The pain growing stronger and weaker under the waves of his hand.

Knock, knock. 

He raised his eyes to the door. Sniper hadn't heard anyone come to the door, which immediately gave away the identity of his visitor. He rose from the couch and, his hand still behind his back, he opened the door. 

"Hey, Spy, what d'you want?" He asked. 

The Australian watched as his colleague's face went from his usual suave smile to something else, something between distress and rage.

"Bonjour first maybe? And I'm sorry to interrupt, I shall come back later." The French accent was strong, not too much, but thicker than usual.

"What do you think you're interruptin'?" Sniper asked, confused.

"Well, look at you! Your shirt is open, your hair is completely disorganised, you are not even wearing your hat or your glasses!" 

The tone of the Frenchman's voice had grown louder and louder as he spoke. By the end of his sentence, he sounded irritated. Sniper's eyes snapped wide. Why was Spy being so pissed off?

"W-wait, what?!"

The Frenchman sighed and lowered his head. 

"Nevermind, Sniper, nevermind. Forget it. Forget… me."

He turned on his heels and walked away, shoving his hands in his pockets angrily.

"Spy, wait!" 

The Frenchman turned to face him.

"Non, Sniper. I'm going back to my room. See you, maybe."

"Ugh, bugger…" 

As if his day wasn't bad enough, he had to give the wrong impression and piss off his only friend… Sniper grumbled and fell deep in thoughts. 

Need to apologise and tell him… 

The Australian went to the Frenchman's room and knocked. 

There was a moment before Spy opened.

"And you have the nerve to come to my door?" Spy asked.

"Spook, there was no one with me, I was alone! Can I come in and explain now, please!?" 

Spy lowered his head and opened his door wider, as if to invite Sniper in. He entered and the Frenchman shut the door after him.

"What the-?! You're the one expectin' someone!" Sniper exclaimed his arms extended towards the unusual object standing in the room. 

Spy had all the lights off apart from the flames of the fireplace and… some candles? Sniper looked around him. The Frenchman had put candles here and there and there was a gentle smell in the air… It smelled like a forest, fresh trees and leaves. But the most bizarre thing was the physiotherapy table there in the middle of it all.

"Indeed I was expecting someone. And he arrived." Spy answered, very calmly, with a smile.

"Well, as someone said, if I'm botherin' ya in the middle of somethin', I might as well leave…"

"Non." 

Spy stood between the Australian and the door. 

"You imbécile, I was waiting for you." 

"What?!" Sniper was utterly confused. "What the bloody hell's all this?!" 

"It's to relieve you. I do believe your back is killing you."

"How did-mh!?" Spy had put his index finger on his colleague's lips. 

"Had I gone to your van and just asked you to come, you would have said you were too tired and you would have refused. So I had to think of another way to make you come out of your den of a camper van." Spy explained with a smirk and Sniper's eyebrows shot up. 

"Now, don't make me get angry for real this time and go to my bathroom. You'll find a pair of shorts that I might have borrowed from your van. Put them on and come back here, lie down on the table."

Spy released his finger on his friend's lips and nodded his head towards his bathroom. Sniper thought he was hallucinating or dreaming. What the bloody hell was all that?!

He did obey though, in a brain-dead way. He went to the Frenchman's bathroom and found his old pair of grey short on the edge of the sink. He closed the door and slipped them on. When he came back, the Frenchman was waiting. He had removed his jacket and vest, his tie had gone too and he had opened the first few buttons of his shirt as well as rolled up his sleeves. 

Sniper looked at the physio bed and back at his colleague. Spy's eyes were riveted on the bed. He had noticed how prude his friend was and how he wrapped his arms around himself and hunched his back, as if it hid his bare chest and back. 

"Where did you ever find this…?" 

"I borrowed it from Medic."

"You nicked it from Medic?" 

"I intend to give it back. So it's a loan that he might not be completely aware of. Now, please, lay down." 

"Roight…" 

Sniper had gone too far to refuse. He lied on his stomach. 

"Bien, put your arms along your chest, that's it, very good. Now, my hands are a bit cold but they will warm up, bear with me for a while."

"Alroight…"

"Shush, you close your eyes and don't think about anything." 

"Spy?" 

"What did I just say, Bushman?"

"Can you lock yer door though…?" 

Spy sighed with a smile. 

"Fine." The Frenchman moved to the door and locked it. He came back and removed his socks. 

"Why the hell…?"

"And to think that you are the least sociable of us. Now you never stop talking…" Spy said. "But to answer you, I cannot proceed if my feet are not in contact with the ground." 

Sniper heard the noise of some liquid being squeezed between Spy's hands and then he felt them on his back. 

"When you massage someone, you are not just running your hands on someone's body. You are in a way taking the tension from that person, onto you, in your palms and your fingers. But all this strain, you have to throw it somewhere. I do believe it circulates through my body and I'm giving it away to the ground through my feet and the wooden floor." 

Spy's voice was soothing Sniper. 

"Also, I do hope you like the smell. I didn't have kangaroo and desert scented candles, but I thought that fresh forest would do."

"Spy… Your hands…" 

"They're getting warmer now with the friction." 

"No… They're… bloody… good…" 

Spy smiled. 

"Let me know where it hurts."

"Top, go all the way up."

Spy slid his hands left and right from his friend's spine, his feet anchored in the floor and his eyes closed. 

"Shoulder blades… please… and shoulders…"

"Fine." 

Spy took more oil in his hands and went for it. The Australian grunted and moaned under the Frenchman's efficient hands. He felt like some dough being rolled and kneaded. He had no idea Spy could be that skilled with his hands. Sniper was waving and rolling in his mind, his eyes closed, the smell of the candles and of the oil gently washing him from the inside. 

And it lasted a long time, in silence. Spy thought that after the racket of the battlefield, the solitary hunter that Sniper was would appreciate some peace and quiet.

"Spy…?"

"Hm?" 

"Talk…"

"What do you want me to say?" 

"Any… Thing… Just… Talk…" 

Spy's smile widened. His friend sounded so different. 

"Well, I can start by asking you if you don't mind turning on your back."

"Five… More… Minutes…"

Had Spy not been used to keeping his emotions for himself, he would have chuckled at least. 

"Fine." 

His hands traced circles and loops, his palms pressed, his fingers following closely. 

"Oooh… Spy… How…?" 

"Sshh… Just enjoy." He whispered. 

He kneaded his back slowly, paying attention to not neglect a single muscle. All of them were massaged and accounted for. Spy bent to Sniper's ear:

"I want to see your face now, mon beau." 

Sniper's eyes snapped open. He turned on his back and saw Spy upside down, bending above his head and smiling. 

"What's that mean?" The Australian asked. 

"What?" Spy put a bit of oil in the middle of his palm and rubbed his hands together. He put his hands on his friend's collarbones and massaged down. 

"Mon beau?" Sniper repeated with a twisted accent. 

As Spy pushed his hand down Sniper's chest, his back slowly bent down until his mouth ended up next to the Australian's ear. He whispered:

"Literally, my handsome one." 

Sniper's eyes popped wide open and his heart accelerated. His friend's hands on his naked chest didn't help and the Australian turned red as a brick. 

"Breathe slowly, I can feel your heart pounding." 

Spy's hands were working wonders on Sniper's chest and stomach, such that his entire body had no choice but to indeed relax. 

When the Frenchman finished with the torso, his fingers moved to the Australian's face. Sniper looked at him, still seeing him upside down, with questioning eyes. 

"Close your eyes." Spy whispered. 

"I-I can't." 

Their faces were a few inches apart. 

"Yes, you can, just trust me." 

Sniper took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt Spy's fingers on his chin, his cheeks, below his eyes, his temples and his brow. He repeated the motion for entire minutes without tiring, sometimes spending more time on Sniper's cheeks, next to his both hideous and attractive sideburns… 

Spy moved around the table and slowed the movements down. Sniper felt that something was going on. He opened his eyes. The Frenchman's face was above the Australian's. Their eyes locked. 

Sniper saw Spy's eyes. They were half-closed and blinked very slowly, the long dark eyelashes brushing the air like the wings of a butterfly. 

"Thank you." Sniper whispered. He didn't want to break the silence too hard. 

"It is my pleasure…" Spy brushed his friend's cheek down and stopped next to his mouth. 

"You're the weirdest bloke I've ever met. Stealin' this bed, puttin' on a show with the candles, the smell, and the comedy you played back at my van…"

"Qu'est-ce je ne ferais pas par amour?" 

[What wouldn't I do out of love?]

"What's that mean?" 

Spy ignored Sniper's question and his fingertips moved closer to his lips. The Australian smiled and lifted his hand to put it on top of the Frenchman's. 

"I'm sorry I can't say it in French but uh…"

"If you can't say it, make me understand it… Show me…"

Sniper's fingers laced between his friend's and his heart beat fast. He put his other hand behind the Frenchman's neck and pulled him in closer.

The Frenchman rolled his eyes up when Sniper's lips touched his. All he had wanted was to help the poor man who was too shy to ask for anything. But now the Australian was saying thanks, and maybe something else…?

[seminalstudy]

Hey everyone! I recently completed my first semester of college with a full course load (18 credits) and all As, and I thought I could share some of the things that have (and haven't) worked for me these last few months. This is just going to be on dorm life, but I'll probably do some on organization and school work in the future. I do go to a pretty small school so my experiences may not be applicable to everyone, but I hope somethings on this list may help!

Roommates can be pretty hit or miss, and if it's the latter, talk to your resident assistant! My first roommate was nice enough but we had very different ways of living. I had become closer friends with one of my suitemates so we talked with our RA and managed to switch with little issue. If you're not satisfied with your roommate situation, it won't get better, so get help!

A great habit to get into is making your bed every morning. If you're rushing to a morning class, at least make it once you get back to your dorm. Your room can be spotless, but a messy bed can ruin the effect. A made bed will also make it less likely for you to get back in bed when you should be doing something more productive!

Make sure you talk with your roommates/suitemates about shared living spaces - when the bathroom gets cleaned, where everyone gets to store their stuff, etc. This will prevent future conflict if sorted out early in the year!

Leave your door open as much as possible! I know a lot of people recommend this, but it's really amazing how many people will stop by and chat, I've made a couple good friends because of doing this (plus it helps keep the room cooler if your window is open in the summer because the air can circulate).

A Keurig and/or a hot water boiler are really useful. Coffee shops on campus can get expensive even with the flex cash, and it's really nice to make a cup of tea at the end of a long day.

Fairy lights are your friend. My roommate and I hate the harsh, fluorescent lights the college gave us, so we picked up 5-6 strands of white lights and swooped them from wall to wall across the ceiling. They illuminate the room with warm light and make it really cute! We're a little extra sometimes but a couple of strands can go a long way.

Pillows are a must have. Whether your bed is on the floor or lofted like mine, they make the room so much more inviting and your bed way comfier!

You don't need a TV or a microwave, but the latter is useful. TVs just take up precious storage space and it's honestly easier to stream shows on your phone or laptop. Microwaves are super useful, but lots of people have them, so you can just make friends with other people on your floor - most of the people I know are really chill about letting others use theirs.

Get some shower shoes, please. I fortunately don't have floor wide communal bathrooms, but I do share a shower with three other people, and that floor is a breeding ground for bacteria.

On that note, make sure the bathroom gets cleaned at least once a week. Shower, toilet, sinks, the works. This really helps reduce the likelihood of getting sick, which can really cut down on your productivity. I really like Clorox or Lysol wipes - they can be used on practically anything!

It's also important to wipe down surfaces in your room every 1-2 weeks, plus it makes your room smell better!

College vacuums are nasty and smell bad, so it's a good idea to pick up at least a small hand-held vacuum to clean up your area each week. You'd be surprised how much can accumulate on the floor.

This one's optional, but a cute, durable rug can really make your room nicer. I got mine from Home Depot for around $40 which is a bit of an investment, but it's so much nicer than the old college carpet.

Lofting your bed(s) really does save space. I've grown up with a loft so the small under space for my desk and shelves isn't a problem for me. My current bedframe doesn't allow you to raise it up, but if yours does and you have enough floor space for your other furniture, that can be even more precious storage space.

Open your window shades! It's nice to get natural light, and if you get enough, you can even keep little plants on your window sill!

Some RAs put in more effort than others, but make an effort to go to floor or building wide events, you might have a great time. These are often on weeknights, so they're a nice break from studying.

Beware of air freshener. Yes, college dorms often don't smell great, but you will quickly be desensitized to the scents you choose, so it can start to smell too strong to others. I like using linen spray, it keeps your sheets and room smelling fresh but isn't too overpowering.

Make your desk area your own. My roommate and I are different in that she loves to be minimalist, whereas I love cozy clutter. I have lots of pictures and art of family, friends, and home on my walls and shelves whereas she has everything in neat containers or drawers, and a single tapestry on the wall. Do whatever makes you happy.

Your room should ultimately be the place where you can chill after a long day, so try not to do as much of your studying there. It's nice to get out and go to the library or a new coffeeshop for work so your room can just be for relaxing in. However, your room should still be set up in a way where you can be productive - especially during finals or when the weather is too bad to go out in.

This one applies to me mostly, but you don't need to bring all of your stationary and notebooks with you. There's not necessarily going to be enough room for it all. I'm still working on this, but you probably don't need eight sets of pens for college.

Invest in a speaker or speakers if you haven't already. I've made my room super homey, and one of the biggest ways is by having music almost always playing - not necessarily loudly but just enough that I'm not sitting in silence all the time.

It may be tempting to stock your mini fridge with ice cream and microwave meals but try to fill it with other things! Frozen berries, yogurt, chia or flax seeds, milk (or almond milk if you're lactose intolerant like me), some water bottles or cans of pop. It's nice to be able to reach for a healthy snack without having to trek over to the dining hall or campus store.

Decorating your dorm for the season or holiday can be really fun and a nice break from studying. My roommate and I hung tons of ornaments from the ceiling for Christmas which looked really cute, and we decorate our door for each month. It can be a bit time consuming, but it's just a fun thing to consider.

Take time at least once a week just to tidy up. Wash dishes, put laundry away, file papers, vacuum. For me, cleaning up helps reboot my brain, and I find myself to be way more productive with a clean area.

Those soft fleece blankets are really great for cuddling in when you're sick, tired, it's your time of the month, etc. (I have two but you probably just need one)

Don't do you laundry over the weekend unless you've gotten up early. Everyone does it then, so try to find a free morning or afternoon during the week to do it.

On that note, a drying rack is super useful. You can save money by not putting your clothes through a drying cycle, and just let them air dry. This also makes your room smell good!

I live in Michigan so summers get hot and winters are freezing. Fans (plural) are a must have if your dorm has no AC, I have a desk fan and a tall room fan. Blankets and warm pjs and slippers really help in getting through the cold season.

Make friends with someone who has a car on campus if you don't have one! This can be really useful especially for late night trips to Meijer.

At the end of the day, your dorm should be your happy place. Keep it clean, well stocked, and cute, and your college experience will be even better!

I hope some of these tips were useful! Keep an eye out for the next post in this series, and good luck in the new year to all of you!

-B