#they're all a lot more nasty than you portray them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
youdontknowhowtodiequietly · 2 months ago
Text
y'know what? we need more vicious/violent kevin in fics. like, he's quite violent in the books. he literally got into brawls with seth on multiple occasions. he's abrasive and rude and insensitive, he's definitely got into one fight with all of the og foxes (except renee) like it's inevitable. pls give me more violent kevin, feral kevin. he was raised a raven ffs
140 notes · View notes
regheart · 6 months ago
Note
From one old men yaoi shipper to another… I notice that a lot of marauders and wolfstar works tend to portray Sirius as kinda mean towards Remus, where tenderness, kindness, and understanding normally come from James. It’s either that or Sirius being completely devoted and in ride or die love with Remus. Do you think Sirius could deliver tender moments and more sincere exchanges with Remus (romantic or platonic)? Or was their relationship not like that?
well, there are two moments in the book that come to mind in terms of portraying how sirius feels about remus
first, is when they meet again at the shrieking shack at the end of PoA. remus is the one whose feelings are easier to read, because so far we've known him pretty much for who he is, while sirius has yet to prove himself innocent
Then Lupin spoke in an odd voice, a voice that shook with some suppressed emotion.
“Where is he, Sirius?”
[...]
Lupin was lowering his wand, gazing fixedly at Black. The professor walked to Black’s side, seized his hand, pulled him to his feet so that Crookshanks fell to the floor, and embraced Black like a brother.
and, you see, the really cool thing about the ending of the book is that sirius was willing to show up, kill peter and probably run off again. harry is the most important person in his life, but at this moment he has no hopes of building any sort of relationship with him. remus is the one who calms him down and helps him see the bigger picture (before harry does the same to both of them), and obviously there's the narrative factor of needing to come clear about a lot of information and keeping the action as easy to understand as possible, but sirius stands on the back for the big part of remus' story
it is obvious, from the start, that they've had their differences, but they fall back swiftly into easy camaraderie as soon as they reunite and you can't do that if there was never any trust, love (however you want to see it) and companionship before
“Ready, Sirius?” said Lupin.
Black had already retrieved Snape’s wand from the bed. He approached Lupin and the struggling rat, and his wet eyes suddenly seemed to be burning in his face.
“Together?” he said quietly.
“I think so,” said Lupin, holding Scabbers tightly in one hand and his wand in the other. “On the count of three. One — two — THREE!”
we are lead to believe that james and sirius were equals — equally brilliant, equally confident, equally brave — while remus and peter were excluded from that. but looking at the way adult remus interacts with sirius, and how he's included in the joke after their owls, his participation on creating the marauders map and the general propensity to mischief, he was their friend and it's frustrating when people completely overlook that because his role in their friendship (and the main things that distinguish him from peter, his loyalty and the capacity to stand oh his own*) is no demerit to whatever the other two have and his magical skill and his intelligence is not erased because it manifests differently
everyone and their mother has this scene memorized but i'll post it again
Tumblr media
the second thing is how sirius speaks of remus in OotP, which is more than one moment but i think it shows how he tends to act towards him as a friend
i. when they're talking about prefects
“No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”
“I think Dumbledore might have hoped that I would be able to exercise some control over my best friends,” said Lupin. “I need scarcely say that I failed dismally.”
ii. sirius comforting harry about umbridge
“Yes, but the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters,” said Sirius with a wry smile. “I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though — you should hear Remus talk about her.”
iii. discussing SWM
“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much,” he said fairly, looking at Lupin, but Lupin shook his head.
“Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape?” he said. “Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?”
“Yeah, well,” said Sirius, “you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes.... That was something...”
in these three scenes we see sirius bringing up remus in conversation, even when isn't present, and including what he thinks is relevant and positive, half of the time with remus assuming his own failings after sirius cuts him some slack
now, it could be argued that the compliments in each case are condescending (as if saying remus was nice! and also uncool), but i think they show acknowledgement of something remus was probably proud of (being a prefect, at that time) and sense of fairness that he feels he should point out (being less of an idiot), and remus confesses to his share of guilt
the fact that they are living together, hanging out, discussing werewolf legislation from two years ago, suggests closeness and comfort in spending time together. i see both the joining forces to murder our traitorous friend and the casual relationship as a reflection and a continuation of the friendship they had during the first war. once they take down the obstacle of believing each other the spy, they trust each other completely and they share similar experiences and understandings of that time, more similar than any other pair in the order
i understand that people believe they don't understand each other (no one fully does, get it together), and i see this particularly in how sirius tends to soak into his own sorrow once he is there and not realize how others may feel similar to him (when harry says he wishes he could stay with sirius, even if it were in grimmauld place, and not with the dursleys, sirius replies that fighting dementors is exciting which is not at all what harry is complaining about), and remus is so used to suffocating his own wishes and complaints that he can also fail in providing comfort to others because he can endure making himself miserable
and that is reflected on the prank and how sirius speaks of it, and remus prioritizing dumbledore's orders over sirius' well being
but this specific issues are what make their mid-30s relationship compelling to me, not at the cost of their shared history and knowledge of each other's worst traits and mutual forgiveness and unspoken tenderness and aligned morals and politics and internal jokes and shared secrets and willingness to try again and make it work this time
*remus lives a miserable life, but he lives a life nonetheless, he has multiple jobs, he makes right decisions and wrong decisions, he is a valuable member of the order and a friend to multiple people, peter was a servent to other death eaters. do we really need to argue on this?
**not referring back to anything but while i do think james was more aware of other people's feelings and had a better response to them, i don't think he was particularly kind, in the broad sense of the word, not until they were older, and i don't think it was impossible for sirius to have emotional awareness and responsibility, just that his upbringing made it difficult for him to have acceptance and understanding as his default reaction to anything, so this is something he probably had to work on himself and be conscious of his own acts of kindness
67 notes · View notes
takealookatmycrabclaw · 29 days ago
Note
in 2020-22, i recall that the sasi fandom would prop itself up as a super accepting, wholesome community, but I would see so much vitriol whenever someone *rightfully* called out racism among the fans. i'm not black, but i am a poc, and it always rubbed me the wrong way. i think it clashed with the fandom's image of "wholesomeness".
there was one time when I got some nasty responses. i'd made a post about usually portraying only roman and remus as latino felt like it came from the latin lover/sexualized stereotypes of latino men, and i got some anon hate about it. idk, i've noticed that fandoms in general are very hostile when someone points out racism in them.
Thats because the Fandom is so full of white queer people. White queer people tend not to treat poc as equal for some damn reason. I think that since they're white, they have the privilege of viewing oppression as a twisted for of validation. And/or they're playing a game of oppression Olympics at all times so when they notice you're slightly more oppressed than them, they use it against you. Idk that's just my experience tho.
Sorry you received hate for your very valid opinion. I can see how others might disagree but I don't understand how they can be hateful. Just weird asf. There's a lot of microaggressions in the sasi community that don't get acknowledged but you'll be sworn off a discord server for using all caps.
I remember a while ago there was this person who headcannoned Logan as Asian- which is fine- but some people asked why and they said "it's because he's smart and stuff" which is just so ???? They didnt even specify what Asian country he would be from like Japanese or Chinese or whatever. No. It was just Asian. And I felt like I was going crazy because that's so...it's weird.
24 notes · View notes
velvetvexations · 2 months ago
Note
this is venting i'm just. aedjhfdalkjdhklajhdlkjh fucking youtuber drama bit me bit me bit me & it's related to the Tumblr Discourse Hell
there's a trans woman who has youtube videos and my primary association with her up to this point has been "brilliant." incredibly smart person. she's been accused of SA by three other much larger youtubers and the way i found out about it was because she released a video where she just categorically denied the allegations and read "Hot Allostatic Load" about a trans woman who was predator-jacketed in portland and how dangerous it is to accuse trans women of SA. and this was. immediately suspicious to me in a way i felt nasty about because it is dangerous and trans women are unfairly treated as predators for innocuous actions but it was like. the same type of "marginalized people are incapable of harm/facing consequences for doing harm bc too dangerous" thing that has been. so so toxic here. so she says that they're false and she has MOUNTAINS of evidence but she's being evicted and will deal with this/make a real public response in her own time. i don't even know what's alleged, just that something is and her only response is "I am a trans woman, you can't accuse me." so i'm like. this is weird and i'm just gonna avoid it until something is more clear. like even knowing what the allegations are for example bc the only place to see them is a locked patreon post.
so she releases this other video that's just a long stream of her talking and it's a lot more of the same & she uses the phrase "crying rape" and threatens to release the full complete discord logs of all her conversations with all of the people involved and still does not name any of the accusations and says it's because they're just trying to destroy her career. and now the victims release a link to the google doc statement about her because of the videos and it's just damning. like she proved several of their points by continuing the same behavior in her response to the allegations. very missing missing reasons. like i watched her thing first with no exposure to any statements by the victims and when she was like "we were So Much Closer than [victim] would admit to ANYONE," i'm like. maybe she didn't "admit" it because she did not feel intimate with you and you wouldn't accept it. your defense sounds like a consistent boundary issue to me, and ope i go look and that is exactly what [victim] said.
and it's like. i hate everything about this and i hate that my initial suspicions were correct and i hate that this is now A Thing like instead of hearing a trans woman say "i've been falsely/unfairly accused due to systemic biases, please interact with this situation with a greater degree of care," i have to be like. fucking suspicious!
i am sorry to essentially notify you that bad things are happening elsewhere in the world it's just. fuck! why is this spreading! why is this a thing now!
Timely, these past few days TRFs have especially gotten a bug up their ass about the few times I've said transbian separatism has a slight chance of going the way it went the last time that was attempted.
Should you tread lightly when trans women are accused of something? Yes, absolutely. Trans women ARE portrayed as predators in a cruel and malicious way on a regular basis. Be careful. Be patient. Verify to the best of your ability what's happening.
But, speaking as a trans woman who was harassed for years as a result of being groomed by an adult from an early age and was pedojacketed just a couple months ago with threats to get me blacklisted from publishing:
EVERYONE has the capacity to do harm
28 notes · View notes
beifong-brainrot · 4 months ago
Note
Hi again, this is the third question (with several options), sorry. And it's mostly related to the brothers of fire and earth, they had a lot of potential, like the Beifong family.
But I have a lot of ideas for AUs in my head.
1)Dark Avatar Bolin (A bit comical, the Great spirit chaos and darkness is trapped inside a 16 year old earthbender/lavabender) Maybe imagine that Mako and Bolin's ancestor who lived 10,000 years ago merged with Vaatu during a Harmonic Convergence and it was passed down from generation to generation. And released inside Bolin during another Harmonic Convergence (Mako will have heart failure due to stress lol)
2)Avatar!Mako When he gets caught by the White Lotus, he doesn't want to let go of his little brother. He has serious anger issues, the first Avatar who has a relative to take care of.
3) Mako accidentally injures his younger brother
4) Mako and Bolin are adopted by the Beifong family. Either Lin or Su.
(You answer one, I have too many ideas, sorry)
Nah bitch I'm answering them all bcs those are all cool ideas.
1.
actually Bolin as a Dark Avatar would be really interesting. Since we don't really seem to have a framework for what a Dark Avatar is meant to do other than Unalaq, who was still just following his own agenda. Like, how much control would Vaatu have over Bolin's actions. Would he be able to possess Bo when he's, for example in the Avatar State? Or would it be more like:
youtube
Though if we're giving Vaatu a more nuanced storyline, I can see him being a more sympathetic character. Where in canon he was portrayed as basically just the evil version of Raava, he could just be seen as a spirit of chaos and change, which spurrs on evolution and development, and of "darker" urges like anger, which are still important to humans in moderation.
I honestly think it would be very interesting to see Bolin containing that type of energy because he's kind of a pushover and is pretty resistant to change.
So seeing him perhaps learn from Vaatu to stand up for himself, express negative emotions, become independent and more self assured would be a very fun arc to follow.
I also wonder how being trapped 24/7 with Bolin's bubbly ass would affect Vaatu I think he'd either go insane or he'd get a redemption arc. I can see Vaatu becoming increasingly attached to Bolin, starting off with a bit of a "we share this body so I'm gonna put you in the Avatar State when you're in danger" type of thing to genuine attachment and caring.
Tumblr media
2.
Honestly poor Mako I think he would just have a heart attack at 20 at this rate. Though he would be an interesting Avatar to follow, especially that while he is a kind person, his main concern is keeping himself and Bolin safe. I can also see him bearing a bit of a "why should I save Republic Citu or smth they let me and my bro be homeless" type of inner conflict.
I also really like the idea of Lin being the one to teach him earthbending lol. Lin sees this broody teen avatar and decides she has to protect him lol
Bolin would probably be more hyped about this than Mako lol. He'd be Mako's biggest supporter all the time Mako is just like "oh god how am I gonna fit this into my schedule".
Tumblr media
3.
I honestly have thought of this concept before a couple times. I think usually Mako is very careful around Bolin, but I can see a high stress situation making him slip up. In a darker tineline, where they get more involved with the triads, I can see the triad members making the brothers spar and train against each other, which could result in one of them getting hurt. In Republic City Hustle we saw that Mako was more willing to go along with triad shenanigans than Bolin, so I can see him being pushed if there's something on the line. Like they're not allowed ro eat if they don't fight or smth.
Though I think Mako would feel so guilty however he hurt Bolin. Like I already think he has trauma around firebending since his parents were killed by a firebender, so injuring his own brother might give him a nasty case of Jeong Jeong syndrome and selth loathing.
I can totally see Bolin trying to brush it off to not worry Mako, but Mako would still hate himself.
Tumblr media
4.
I've kinda thought about the boys getting adopted by Lin and Su. Maybe not in terms of actual adoption but kinda in more of a ward situation.
The concept of Lin arresting Mako and Bolin for some minor crime and realising they have nowhere to go, so she takes them in for a little, just until she finds a family to take them in. But there being two of them, being older and having criminal pasts, they might nor be to easy to get adopted.
So they live with Lin and she ends up getting attached, despite herself.
I think Mako is probably very distrustful of her at first, and thry argue a lot, but grow to trust each other and have a begrudging respect for one another, which later becomes actual affection.
And I feel like the moment little Bolin learns that Lin is a Beifong he would just, like, Grab onto her leg and not let go. Like he immediately is very affectionate and friendly and Lin is just baffled. I think she's mildly annoyed, but also with Bolin being a child, she might have an easier time believeing he's genuine.
Tumblr media
Now, the boys being 'adopted' by Suyin would take a bit of narrative managing, since Suyin lives in Zaofu, but if for exame she was in Republic City for business or something and found two kids eating out of a dumpster, I would not put it past Su to go "mine now ☺️" and just fucking take them home and give them motherly love or smth.
With how different Zaofu is from RC, it would be interesting to see the boys adapt to it. And we can have a childhood friends/growing up together weilin Au which is always very nice. Tbh I think they'd hate each other as kids at first.
I csn see Bolin being a little more self assured in this AU, since Suyin seems like a very reassuring person. And if metalbending truly is tied to mindset, I could see Bolin metalbending in this AU.
I think Mako might actually get along better with Baatar Sr. He could just chill in the man's study while Baatar works and that would help him acclimate to the situation lol.
Tumblr media
The bending bros being raised in Zaofu alongside Kuvira and the Baby Beifongs is actually a very interesting AU I might have to get back to you on that lol.
12 notes · View notes
stupidlittlespirit · 29 days ago
Note
I just wanted to say that out of all the nasty stuff I've read, Spores was one of the most realistic. I was tired of characters just being like animals in the heat when this kind of stuff is written- I mean c'mooooooon, even my virgin ass knows that real intimacy and the intimacy that the media portrays is very different, so your fic was a breath of fresh air for me. I think what happens between Ford and the reader is more awkward than hot and I think that's great! Intimacy doesn't always have to be comfortable. You gave them emotion and life and now I'm giving you a pair of kisses on your eyelids respectfully and digitally. mwah. mwah.
Oh thank you so much!!
I mean, real sex is awkward and sticky and funny, and it can be as gross as it can be fun. It's never going to be a smooth flowing, novel-perfect, porn-set ready affair and if it is, I think you miss out on a lot of the personal aspects that can make it more enjoyable.
When I write, I have little to no interest in the actual ins and outs (heh) or visceral motions of having sex; I'm much more focused on the emotionality of the act, the reactions of the parties, and the feelings attached. Those feelings aren't always going to be hot or sexy, and that's okay! They don't have to be! For me, my fantasy is in the bond between the characters, not the thing that they're doing, if that makes sense?
idk
but thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed it and that you enjoyed the characterisations :) Means a lot <3
16 notes · View notes
yuseirra · 4 months ago
Text
Hikaru Kamiki's character-analysis collection
160 is going to be a pretty powerful chapter. If my judgment and theories, interpretations about this character flops eventually, it will. But until that happens, I feel I can hold out quite a bit.
Maybe I can call myself an expert on this particular character because...there are so many others who excel with other characters already and I wouldn't be able to beat them to it, but with his case, I may have a chance because he's had very little screen time and the way he acts is very ambiguous and confusing. I put in a lot of effort into understanding his character along with Ai's because I wanted to determine just what kind of relationship they had (154 was so intriguing. that chapter didn't have to be like that but it was), and to do that, you need to get a decent grasp of each of those two characters. I make fanworks, so I HAVE to portray them, and I've drawn way over 200+ pieces of art with them in it, with most of them being comics with expressions and dialogues. So I think it's safe to say I have an idea of just what they're like, may it be all debunked in the end, but at least for the time being. I'm pretty sure though. If I didn't know what I signed myself into, I wouldn't have spent my effort and time in the first place!
So, here goes! If you don't think he's an unforgivable psychopath and a nasty liar who's coerced Ryosuke into stab Ai and kill his daughter and did serial murder for "his own sake"<whatever that's supposed to be, or wish he'd turn out to be something more complex than just a flat-out villain, If you want to know why Ai wants to "help" him, then this analysis may help you. It's going to help me too. I'm just revisiting what I've written about him, there is a mention of what takes place in 160, a little, too.
Oh before anything, Mephisto and Fatal is HIS SONG. With that as the baseline, everything just..starts clicking. That's how I started to realize just what this guy's going to be.
(translated through Chatgpt~~I CAN'T write this whole thing twice hhhghh)
I think I have a pretty accurate grasp when it comes to understanding emotions.
As for the latest chapter's developments (which will be released today), if we take all of Kamiki's words as the truth and compare them to previous chapters, there aren't many contradictions. If we closely analyze the things this character says, it turns out they haven't really done anything significant, nor are there many things to hold them accountable for. Even the words they say to Aqua might not be as mocking or provocative as initially thought. If you believe things as they are, it all fits in quite neatly.
Since around July, I've been piecing together the fragments we've been given, analyzing the character's psychology multiple times, and I was really accurate in predicting what they would do.
In reality, they haven’t done anything, and they've never tried to harm anyone. Nino and Ryosuke went to the hospital and killed Goro, while Kamiki only meant to send a bouquet of flowers. If what he claims is correct, he was even happy upon sending them, he didn't even try to "scare Ai". (I'd been screaming about that in the top of my lungs for so long and oh am I so relieved. I want to say I TOLD YOU SO! But with the whole chapter being so. Yeah. the way it is, I can't even be happy about it. )And I was right about all of it. I’ve gotten so many things right… though, to be fair, there wasn’t really any other way it could have played out.
The testimony? It really might be exactly as it is, and there’s a good chance none of it was a lie.
If the character’s actions, as depicted in the movie arc, and the occasional glimpses of their behavior weren't false, then their behavior integrates with that.
If we trust Aqua’s interpretation, the real question becomes: Why? Why would this character act the way they did? We have no idea about their motive. Why would they have gone to such lengths, spending years scheming? The motive is the most important issue here. Why? For what reason? There’s a lack of rationale. Ryosuke and Nino approached them first, so from the moment they met, they probably didn’t have a plan to use them, nor do we understand what they gained from it. And while it’s said that they sparked a flame of madness, the reasoning behind that is too weak. The actions taken don’t have the drive to escalate into something like murder. Showing a toothbrush leads to murder? Suggesting to turn themselves in leads to attempted murder? This feels like something that couldn't have happened without divine intervention. If they intended that effect, the actions taken to achieve it were far too weak. The behavior escalates unpredictably and drastically. It's almost like they were cursed. Honestly, I think Kamiki is cursed. “Fatal” is indeed his song. The lyrics about life being twisted because of the stars appear in that song, and I think the songs in the anime help fill in the most important pieces of this character.
The "motive."
The last expression in Chapter 159—every time I look at it, I become more convinced it’s a sad expression. If you cover their mouth, you can clearly see it.
This character smiles when they're going through a hard time. And they don’t get angry at all, to an almost abnormal degree. I think that’s what confuses people about this character.
When people say unfair or harsh things to them, or even when they’re being bullied or questioned, they don't fight back. They just endure it. Their expression falters for a moment, but then they pull themselves together and smile again.
This not only leads to misunderstandings, but it also makes you wonder if this character is really responsible for anything. It unintentionally makes people push responsibility onto them.
That behavior resurfaces in this chapter, too. If Aqua’s accusations have any basis, then Kamiki deserves to hear those things. But if not, then once again, they’re just enduring it as always.
Even as a child, Kamiki couldn’t defend themselves, so another child(Ai) had to step in and fight against the adult who was bullying them. They’re a character who’s too soft to stand up for themselves. It’s unclear whether that’s because they have a large threshold for patience, or if they’re just shy—it seems to be a bit of both. But they’ve endured more than most people would be able to.
I’ve been pointing out these patterns as I’ve been following the story. It’s an incredibly consistent behavioral pattern.
This is just a small part of it.
In terms of their behavior, Kamiki barely seems to experience anger. And it’s usually anger that drives strong actions or causes someone to affect others. This character doesn’t have that, which is why all their actions seem almost passive. I think they’re incredibly sad and in despair. But they don’t show the slightest sign of anger, even in situations where they should. That’s why I don’t think they could have harmed Ai or killed anyone. It’s beyond just being kind; it’s like there’s a deficiency, or they have the mental fortitude of a saint or a god.
When Ai asked Kamiki to come see their children, I don’t think Kamiki was entirely hopeless. It wasn’t a bad thing, after all. But in the end, Ai dies. Good things never happen to this person. Even when something good does happen, it disappears before they can fully enjoy it. Yet, despite that, they’re still so kind. Have we ever seen them get angry at someone? Not at all. They face people with a smile and remain polite, despite everything. Considering all that’s happened, it wouldn’t be surprising if they’d gone insane, but they don’t come off that way. They just seem truly depressed and hurt (yes, but I still think they might have killed Yura, so let’s wait and see how the truth unfolds).
Looking at how Kamiki acts, there’s something almost powerless about them. They’re too agreeable, never speaking up for themselves, and often at a loss for words. And this isn’t a one-time thing; it’s been consistent since they first appeared.
When they asked Ai, “You love me, right? You won’t leave me, right?” and Ai responded, “I don’t know,” Kamiki’s reaction was to go outside, cry in the rain. When Airi gaslit them with some absurd nonsense, their face just froze in despair. When Ai said something harsh and dumped them, Kamiki couldn’t say anything. Even 15 years later, when watching the video, they couldn’t say anything and just curled up while reaching out toward Ai. It’s been so consistent that I realized this character really has no ability to defend themselves. In any given situation, they just take all the blame and accept it as their fault.
This character experienced horrific things even from a very young age, and rather than thinking, “I don’t like this,” they thought, “People like me when I do this, so this must be the right thing to do.” With that kind of mindset, they’ve been knocked around here and there, internalizing every negative judgment about themselves, becoming almost self-destructive.
For this reason, I think there’s a less than 2% chance that this character would do something as aggressive as sending Ryosuke to Ai in an attack. Even four years after the breakup? I imagine this character would have just cried alone after receiving a phone call. I really think they would’ve gone off and cried in agony... but somehow let the address slip, which led to Ai’s death. And then they think, “I have to save Ai no matter what,” which ties things together. That theory fits perfectly with the songs and their personality. As for why Kamiki ended up with such a personality—it all lines up.
Going over the information we’ve been given, I wonder if this character even has it in them to hate anyone. People with a normal mentality would obviously hold grudges against certain people, but Kamiki doesn’t show any signs of that. They seem to internalize everything as their fault and just suffer. They’re remarkably gentle. When you remove the assumptions that they harmed Ai, killed Yura, or committed serial murders, Kamiki comes across as kind...
I doubt they were ever truly angry. I don’t think Kamiki can get angry or even knows how to. Instead, I think they were just thinking, “What’s going on?” When they found out Ai raised the kids on her own, they probably thought, “Am I really that untrustworthy? She really didn’t want to be with someone like me, huh?” They would have been heartbroken, just like the “disappointment” mentioned in Chapter 158. They couldn’t be with her. But they don’t seem like the type to resent Ai for that. If they had to blame someone, they’d blame themselves for being untrustworthy.
It seems their natural inclination is to beat themselves up rather than others. They can’t stand up for themselves, and whenever something goes wrong, they immediately think, “I must be to blame.” (They’re similar to Aqua, but worse because their self-esteem is even lower.) Ai’s words could have made them angry, and they would have been justified in being upset, but they couldn’t even do that.
Their reaction in Chapter 155, when they couldn’t say a word, lines up perfectly with this. From Kamiki’s perspective, Ai lied to them for over ten years, and now he’s saying he’s going to do something for Ai. This behavior has been consistent throughout. Even after 15 years, they’re still acting like this. Either they’ve always been this way, or this is how they’ve always acted when it comes to Ai (though, judging from their actions, I’d say it’s a general tendency).
Kamiki loved someone who never loved them back, to the point where they’d say, “I truly loved Ai, from the bottom of my heart. (She's)the girl I was willing to sacrifice my life for” If someone believed that the person they loved never loved them back, yet they still genuinely loved them enough to say, “I loved them to the point of giving my life for them”—well, that’s a pretty miserable state of mind, don’t you think? But even in such a state, it seems like they continued to do things for Ai. Since they thought Ai didn’t like them, they likely went on without considering themselves much, probably with the mindset of, “I don’t care if I die.”
Because of this, when this character says things like “It’s my fault” or “I did it,” I think those statements are a bit unreliable to believe at face value. It feels like they're saying Nino’s actions were their own fault because they wanted to blame themselves for everything, or because they couldn’t forgive themselves. I could be wrong, but regarding Yura, there’s a decent chance that they’re less responsible than expected, and I’d say there’s about a 50% chance they didn’t kill anyone at all. Originally, this isn’t a character who would harm others.
As for the page where Kamiki tells Aqua that he wanted to scare Ai—well, I think 80% of what he says there is a lie. The only part I believe to be true is when he admits to giving Ryosuke the address, and that he didn’t expect Ryosuke to kill her—probably an accident or unintended consequence. The reasoning Kamiki gives for his actions is ridiculous and foolish. There are countless ways to make someone feel despair, and it goes without saying that doing so is wrong. Plus, there’s no guarantee it would even work, and it’s not practical from the start. In short, it’s an action with a very low probability of achieving the desired result. That’s why I keep speculating that this situation doesn’t make sense. I think most fans would have the same thought about Kamiki’s statement, like, “How could he not have known what would happen?” Right? I don’t think this was Kamiki’s doing from the start. Any rational person would feel that way, and Kamiki doesn’t seem like a crazy person. Nino, on the other hand, might be a bit irrational, but I don’t think Kamiki is! That’s why I’m convinced that Nino was responsible, especially since she appeared on the scene.
↑I got this right. If this chapter is correct, the flashback in Chapter 154 was indeed false, and Kamiki’s self-blaming testimonies can’t be trusted.
I’ve said this many times before. And I was right about a lot of things. I was right about how Kamiki had no reason to kill Gorou, so it was Nino and Ryosuke who did it.
For Aqua’s argument to be convincing, he needs to present a valid reason or proof as to why his father acted the way he did.
Last time, I analyzed the motivations behind the actions of the characters in this manga, and for Kamiki, at least as far as the story has shown, his current goal (according to his own thoughts) is to do “something for Ai.”
When you look at the relationship between this character and Ai, there’s no other driving force that could push him to act. What Kamiki thinks is important for Ai is what drives him.
This idea is reflected in the songs “Mephisto” and “FATAL.”
According to Chapter 158, the emotions he’s experiencing are desire, disappointment, and despair.
Among these three emotions, “desire” is the only one that can drive someone to act. The other two make a person shrink back or become rigid.
These three emotions appear strongly and consistently in both “FATAL” and “Mephisto.” I’m good at reading emotions.
And the “desire” depicted in those two songs is the emotion of wanting to meet and see someone again, right?
In Chapter 160, the person that stands for the description of: “someone who desires love” is none other than Kamiki himself.
Ai wanted to give love, and Kamiki wanted to receive love. That’s Kamiki’s “desire.” It can’t be anything else. Wanting to harm Ai? Wanting to harm Ruby? No, that’s not it. Kamiki has the desire to meet Ai again and be loved by her.
So, what actions will this character take based on that desire? If we follow that thread, I think we’ll find the answer in the end. That's the key to understanding everything about him, his major drive.
12 notes · View notes
mermaidsirennikita · 1 year ago
Note
No but for real can we TALK about how there is some genuinely offensive shit re: the Romani in Kleypas's book that gets a pass, but the in-character stupid line stuff gets cut bc it's the 21st century or whatever. Like I generally like her books, but if there's something to update that should be it!
Yeeeeah dude it really bugs me, ESPECIALLY because I feel like there's really zero excuse. Beyond just "educate yourself Lisa" ... she's aware that her books have "race issues". Because the incident that I'm pretty sure helped kick this off was Hello Stranger getting called out for a racist passage. Her oldest books (which she's essentially let go out of print) have been critiqued re: race. While there are some complex intersections re: race and ethnicity at play with Cam and Kev, I still feel like the fact that she's aware that her books aren't perfect re: race means she has to know those aspects are problematic.
I knew Seduce Me at Sunrise had edits to the moment when Kev kidnaps Win.... and though that's honestly one of my favorite moments in the book, I though maybe the edits were meant to be downplay the kidnapping as Kev's Mystical Rom Dude Ritual moment. Which I don't remember being HUGE in the act itself, but in dialogue, etc. But no! I was just basically taking away the aspects of "ravishing". Which is fucking stupid, lmao. Because in no way could you read the line about "she was going to be ravished" and interpret it as "Kev is going to rape Win". Why? Because we are in Win's head when that happens, and she is literally like "FUCKING FINALLY".
(Personally, I think Lisa unintentionally wrote Win as having a bit of a rape fantasy/CNC fetish vibe, and like... that's fine. People don't like to talk about it, but rape fantasies are among the most common fantasies for women to have, and it is fine, and it is one reason why a lot of people like old school romances, dark romance etc.)
But all the weird shit wherein, for example, Cam will be all "YOU ENGLISH DON'T UNDERSTAND, WE ROM DO NOT VIEW A HOUSE AS HOME" when like, the a good chunk of series revolves around the Hathaways basically doing a massive home reno in which Cam and Kev are both quite invested lmao, stays. The weird asides about Kev's hot-blooded Rom nature stay. (And might I add, lol... Kev seemed a lot more disconnected from that stuff, and one thing I dislike a good bit is that him shedding his inhibitions with Win and letting loose is like, aligned with him letting this Rom aspect of his personality that he'd been denying... free. The shedding of Kev's sexual inhibitions are aligned with his heritage, because in these books Lisa basically uses Roma to suggest "wild, untamed sexuality". And after his own book, Kev is significantly more involved in Cam's "let us help these unknowing English people with our mystical ways" stuff than he was before. Because now that he's fucking Win nasty the way he always wanted, he's like... more... Rom....? I love Kev and Win, but I hate that.)
Lisa is by no means the only historical romance writer who's done this. I think there's a grand tradition in historical writers working around the aughts especially where you get the vibe that they're like "well, I want to acknowledge that poc existed back then, and I want to portray them positively" but they also don't want to invest in deep characterization or push their (let us be real, often racist) readership too far... So it'll be like "here's the hero's best friend, a former slave!" "here's the hero's half-brother, also a former slave because their dad owned a plantation!" (Read a Tessa Dare book that did this, and I can absolutely see what she was going for, but it didn't come off well.) I love Jennifer Ashley's Mackenzie books. I LOATHE The Seduction of Elliot McBride because she tried to incorporate India into the narrative by having the hero like, live there in the past as a colonizer, and be all "India is amazing, here are my friends because I like Indian people more than white people now" (which, woof, but very common at this time) but lmao his buddies were his employees? And also his illegitimate daughter whose Indian mother was DEAD? Like, come on dude.
(Still not quite as bad as the Kerrigan Byrne book wherein the hero is a literal former war criminal whose big kindness was taking the lone survivor of a village he massacred home and making him his valet. But still.)
And I mean, this does continue, which in some ways I view more harshly because there has been years for feedback and critique to accumulate so more recently working authors should know better. Like the Evie Dunmore "hero has a Plot Important Dancing Shiva tattoo except that isn't actually Shiva in any way, shape, or form and also let's throw in a predatory villainous gay man for good measure" book.
And I'm not saying that Lisa's work is as egregious as those examples. I'm not. But none of the above examples are going back and revising their work in minute detail, while missing the most problematic aspects of the work lol.
I'll also be real and add that another huge reason why these edits suck is that... Nobody is saying you can't edit your work. Authors can and should be able to do that. But... It sucks when people don't know that they're buying what is essentially an abridged version of your book, especially when the edits are heavy, as they are with certain books. Someone could've read your book 10 years ago and when they buy it on Kindle now because they finally have an e-reader, they should be able to know outright that they're buying a different version.
12 notes · View notes
gor3sigil · 23 days ago
Note
I've been invested in the queer community since I was a kid but recently I've been depressed and losing a lot of faith (not in queerness itself or rights movements as a concept, rather the semantic identity politics culture surrounding it at the moment). "Believing in transandrophobia is inherently transmisogynistic", "all men technically experience misogyny but they aren't the main targets so who cares, and no you can't call it misandry, because that's misogynistic" "talking about your experience with your assigned sex is bioessentialism and internalized transphobia"
Like I really can't fathom anymore that even in the queer community we are putting people in boxes and oh my god the boxes are getting so much tighter. Less defined but portrayed as more inherent. I can't do this anymore I just want to die. I'm sorry for sending you this I think its an anonymous cry for help
I totally understand why you feel like this but please, believe me when I say that community is still possible. Lately I've been helping out in IRL spaces and I find it a lot more bearable than online spaces, because people are real. They're not in this competition where you have to theorize and put the maximum random words you don't actually know how to use or what they mean in a sentence, they're spontaneous and conversation is easier.
By all means it isn't perfect. I still struggle to make my points heard and there's nasty people everywhere, but it helps. I also find that helping and getting involved in local communities that aren't LGBTQ help too, because you realise that some people really do not care. And you get to bond with them differently. Trying to balance queer spaces and other spaces has helped me a lot. But I know it's hard as hell, and I've been doing it for 2 months while I've been locked up in my flat for years before gathering the strength to go out there.
While I saw and still see dumb online takes polluate queer spaces IRL, there's places and people who are more understanding.
Please take care. I swear you're not alone.
4 notes · View notes
sydney-the-faithful · 1 year ago
Text
((Random Thoughts I've had while characterizing Sydney on this Blog:
While Pure Sydney stutters a lot in game, I refrain from doing so in my posts bc I think they'd portray themself more clearly through text. They type like they're writing a school assignment. Overly formal, other than the fact they excessively use ellipses or filler words (um/uh/etc.)
Not really an emoji or kaomoji user. They stick with basic emoticons. This is mainly inspired by their bodywriting scenes. Book Criminal >:( || Book Criminal <3
Less receptive to outright flirting and real horny shit than they would be with physical touch & subtle flirting. The more obvious and nasty it gets, the more intense their knee-jerk "ick" reaction will be. Keep in mind that our little Syd is shy. Even if they're interested in an offer, they're prooobably not likely to take it up when they know all their friends and followers will know about it ;3
My advice for corrupting them frfr would be to send an in-character scenario instead of just a message so you can technically have a "private" 1-on-1 interaction with them🤭
Anyway that's all I have to say, I'll get back to replying now HAHHHFHFH. This definitely isn't just me tempting yall to send in stuff that I can put in #sydney_scenarios instead of #sydney_speaks ahhahaha noooo ofc not....))
15 notes · View notes
Note
hello i want to send some of those drawing prompts in but i know nothing about your ocs. would you mind telling me a little about them? general personality traits, theme song (if they had one), role, and whatever else you'd like :>
owo!!!!!! :D okay SO i have multiple different stories (many many many) but I'll elaborate on the two that are currently most in my mind (apart from the animal-centric one, #taira, which wouldn't work with those drawing prompts)
Um. Putting this under a read more because it's getting long. Gonna copy-paste the under-the-cut stuff into a reblog to my backup sideblog, tho, just in case. Trigger tags are for the second story, and only because they're mentioned as part of it but definitely not in detail.
#adira - the tag goes for both the story as a whole and the main character. in summary my beloved girl discovers the Bible (dystopia which has wiped out Christianity in that location and no internet so very localised an controlled) and has a crisis of faith while working everything out. that's the first book. it develops, but yeah. most of these characters start out in their early/mid teens. may be referencing later events because this series is likely to end up covering at minimum a decade of their lives to a greater or lesser degree.
Adira - has a temper (classic redhead), passionate and intense about many things, somewhat arrogant, very determined to figure out the truth of the world, somewhat a self insert (has ended up completely accidentally very visually similar to me xD ) . I don't know her theme song. She's the main character. I love her so much. I can talk endlessly about her but also I'm kinda mixed up atm with reading over past drafts and how she was portrayed then and how that'll change.
Tom - ALSO has a temper (ends up with significant anger issues/tendency to violence that require a lot of work to get over and nearly destroys his marriage), physically disabled (details to be worked out), has a bunch of health issues, significant self-hatred and attendant mental problems, tendency towards obsession, side B bi. Dunno if he has a theme song as I've found yet. He's a supporting/secondaryish/main character. Becomes one of Adira's closest friends and has a significant role in the first book. Has a nasty history that honestly has ended up more like grooming than anything else (he the victim). Is driven by determination and an iron will that will carry him almost beyond the point of endurance. I love this dude sm. Also he's possibly half Indian? Not certain yet tho. But yeah, I got a lot to figure out about his character. Incidentally he and Adira end up married (and yeah their relationship tips into toxic territory for a while before he gets pulled up short and forced to rebuild it; not entirely his fault but definitely mostly). Obviously I need to work on that bit too but since that's plenty beyond the first book I'm more working on setting up foreshadowing and his character so that he'll develop into that sort. (I love him but he Sure Has Issues.)
Emily - uhhhh she's not particularly fleshed out yet xD She's Adira's adopted sister, but they're not especially close anymore (they grow closer over the course of the books, and were friends as small children). I had an idea for her and then I kinda a) realised it didn't fit with the rest of it and b) yoinked the best bits of her character for a different story which I'll expand on once I've done with these ones xD Anyway, she is good and kind and sweet and gentle and I love her. Her only real faults are rather Jane-Bennet-ish at present, and also that she's too ready to agree unquestioningly with those she trusts. In later books she goes through a crisis of faith and quite literally nearly dies as a result (there's a fun bit in there where the other characters on the scene realise that they don't know if the danger she ended up in was accidental or deliberate (it was accidental) and others go through Many Emotions as a result; they're all in a hard spot at that point with varying mental challenges). I found a theme song for her once but I can't remember what it was. She's a side/secondary character.
Dorothy - Adira and Emily's mother. She's somewhat similar to her daughter, but without some of the emotion to drive her. Pretty cool and calculating, but with a great warmth underneath. She's repressed her emotion for years and years in a mildly abusive family situation (her husband Theo is horrible and I despise him). She helps Adira to figure things out, with the help of a friend she introduces Adira to (Mr Saunders). I feel like I don't have a great handle on her character specifically, just Vibes.
Mr Saunders - he's ended up being a main character of the short story collection I call on here #suh, because two of the five stories (including the longest, at 23k) deal with him as a main character. (That short story collection is to be self-published in ??? once I finish editing it. his stories are tagged #story:wcb and #story:preacher (tho I'm not sure the latter has anything tagged as yet.) Anyway I've got it professionally edited I just need to go through that and then one more round of edits and then it's formatting and printing timeee.) Anyway, he's old and slow and very very gentle and kind. Like Dorothy, there are depths to him. But he loves deeply and has been hurt and yet those hurts slip off him like water. I love him so much and wish I could meet him in real life. He's the only one at the start of the story who is already currently Christian (in secret tho, and his ending is... I have Thoughts on that), though he's introduced mid-story. He's v important to Adira's development.
Neil - this dude has been severely depressed for YEARS okay he's my darling even tho it's mostly his own fault. Originally heavily inspired by Loukanos from S. J. Knight's A Time To series (fantastic 10000/10 would recommend, especially the first book). He's a doctor. He's Emily's biological uncle, her only remaining biological family. He has terrible hurt in his past, and he dwells on it and grows rancid over it. Incredibly bitter and lashes out. Not sure when he's gonna be introduced in-story, I know by what time I need him in the book but I dunno when he'll be introduced. He also has trauma/resentment around Christianity that he has to work through. I need to flesh him out better.
Giselle - we only learn her name closer to the end, when she and the story part ways. Her tag is #the evil spychologist. Not a typo, and for a good reason. Anyway, I adore writing her scenes and interactions with Adira. Shows how much I love writing stories where the main character is aware that they're being manipulated. Her character as herself isn't particularly apparent (she may show up later in the books or she may not) she's more a front for the evil government.
Those are the only main characters I can think of at this instant, but other side characters include Rosalind (kind of love interest for Tom at one point, it's complicated), Elton (can i punch his face can i PLEASE punch his face), Merry (either Adira or Emily's friend from <extracurricular>), Sandra (Dorothy's friend w a family), Rick (the resident Good Atheist), [name] (I forgot her name rn but she was Adira's friend from IMI, becomes an archivist like Dorothy and later meets Adira again. looked conservative and quiet and happy and whatnot in school and when she meets her again she's sporting a smart blue haircut, incredible heels and long sleeves...), and not to forget the twins Adira and Tom unexpectedly adopt with zero notice in like the fifth book xD their names are Faith and Hope. There's also another Faith (hehe spoilers but I love her sm).
oh crumbs I forgot Tom's entire family. Anyway there are a bunch of them. Alison (mother), can't remember his dad's name, and the kidlings are in no particular order Norah, Elizabeth, Katy, Rufus, Andy (he's importanter), Rufus's twin uhhhh can't remember his name, I think that's all the kiddos. I named each of the girls after a character I love lol.
ANYWAY I think that's all the summary of that particular series. moving on to the other which has a much smaller cast and is very character-driven
#vaniah - this tag goes for both the focal character and the story. Basically a story of healing from trauma, partly using the vehicle of an arranged marriage to handle it. It's very strongly Christian, both main characters are Christians and their faith is the only thing that holds them through everything, especially Vaniah.
Vaniah - my boy is Traumatised. Partly this is his own fault/perceived as his fault bc he was pressured into things and feels later that he should've said no, and he deals with incredible guilt and self-hatred. It's an extremely dark story with a lot of dark themes (graphic on-page self harm at least once as well as description of scarring, lots of discussion of suicidal ideation, potential suicide attempt, mentions of alcoholism and a couple of instances of my boy being Quite Drunk, some level of mentions of adult themes and slightly suggestive content, though that especially I will handle as carefully as I'm able). However! there is light hearted stuff in there too and ultimately it's a story of hope and rising from rock bottom. Vaniah loves butterflies and will infodump for as long as anyone wants about them (and other things). I dont really know how to talk about his character because for most of it he's SO consumed with self hatred to a greater or lesser extent. I don't know, I'm not selling this very well xD Alexandra has done fanart of a scene from this story and I'm still obsessed with it.
Emily - I know she has the same name as in Adira's story. These were originally connected, and now she's different. I'm still using this name but that will change in time (possibly to Amelie? idk). She deals with an eating disorder which Vaniah also helps her with. She's sweet and very gentle but has strong feelings. Vaniah perceives her as very pure and innocent, though this in fact is not quite true. She's been through somewhat herself, and her hope and faith are more out of determination than come easy.
I could ramble on about these two forever but I have somewhat done so before probably (you could check the tags. the tag #emily does cover both Emilies tho)
Side characters include: Ben (Emily's brother), Camilla (his wife), [name] (Vaniah's sister), uhhhhh there are probbably more I'm forgetting rn
Please ask me for any details or clarification or ask about anything to do with anything! :D
11 notes · View notes
wordsandrobots · 1 year ago
Note
For the writer asks: 7, 27, 40! Thank you!
7. What is your deepest joy about writing?
The same joy I get from any creative act: that of seeing something come into existence.
There's something incredible about taking an idea, fleshing it out and giving it a presence in the world. Be it writing, drawing, baking, building, whatever -- it's just wonderfully satisfying. I tend to do a lot of stuff in my head before I go to the keyboard (planning, scripting, feeling out the words) so it's always exciting to get to the point of actually doing. Because then it's there, on the page, more than just an image in my head.
And that's magic.
27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?
Heh.
When I was starting on my Iron-Blooded Orphans fan-fic spree (is it still a spree at this point?), I decided I needed a new villain, on account of the previous lower-level villains in the show meeting various ignoble fates and also because no one really filled the niche I was creating. I wanted someone who appeared nice, reasonable and even sympathetic on the surface (that is, showed sympathy to others) but who, not very deeply underneath, only ultimately cared about seeing their work completed.
(I explain this straight-up two chapters into them appearing in the story; it's not remotely a spoiler as I never intended to portray them *as* what they appeared to be on the surface.)
Additionally, I drew on ideas around assimilation and integration as a key part of their deal. They deliberately cultivated an 'acceptable' persona in the face of institutional elitism to get the power required to achieve their goals. There's a whole mass of reasons that plays on my mind generally (short version: I'm English) but I thought that, in context of this show, it would be an interesting thing to explore.
And you'd think they'd stress me out because I decided to make them non-binary and emphasise how deliberately appearing exactly androgynous was part a deeply performative and manipulative personality, as a means of stressing the way hierarchical organisations both allow space for people to game the system by playing into the signifiers of 'properness' and enforce those signifiers as the barrier to entry, and oh gods and muses I hope I haven't accidentally dropped into bad tropes about queer people, they can be bastards too, argh, argh, doubt, doubt, look they're not the only NB in my story, their gender isn't why they're like this I swear!
Except then I decided to write an entire fic from their point of view.
Writing close third person for a character whose view of the world is extremely cynical and selfish while also trying to convey to the reader that it is wrong is, when you do it for 10,000 words straight, rather exhausting! It's not just that they're a nasty piece of work. I *like* writing villains, especially the horrible ones; it's fun to show why the villainy makes sense from the other side. But *this* villain and this specific brand of 'I am always right, my goal is all that matters, anyone who disagrees is an idiot' was actively taxing to write.
Maybe it was the length, maybe it was the ways it struck closer to home in the middle of the giant robot fiction, maybe it was simply that their brand of betrayal and self-aggrandisement is ultimately kind of miserable. All I can say is, by the time I finished Of Obsessions and Erotemes, I was kind of burnt out. Constructing their headspace took a toll like nobody else I've ever written.
I'd do it all over again, obviously.
40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.
Argh, no, poetry, my one weakness!!!
OK, one of my weaknesses!!!
But in seriousness, me and poetry are ships in the night. I have known some lovely poets and been awed by their ability with words, but I've never really sought it out, so what I do know is mostly thunderingly obvious snatches of my ambient culture.
However, and though I suspect it's not entirely in the spirit of the question, for a poem about which I can say, this matters to me, Sassoon's The General sits somewhere near the heart of the great swell of anger I feel whenever we get to Poppy Fanaticism Season over here in Blighty. The fecklessness and callousness of our leaders during World War One has a through-line to the present that my own writing is likely always going to be in conversation with.
"Good-morning, good-morning!" the General said When we met him last week on our way to the line Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of 'em dead, And we're cursing his staff for incompetent swine. “He's a cheery old card,” grunted Harry to Jack As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack. But he did for them both by his plan of attack.
The General [Siegfried Sassoon]
For an ask game
3 notes · View notes
grokebaby · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
@parasite-core
Hmmmmmm my oc of choice uhhh (<- is fatally indecisive)
Let's go with Delilah bc she deserves a bit more spotlight!!
(BTW for any future asks please send the question itself as well, ty!! /nm)
2 = What's your oc's orientation + their thoughts about it?
Delilah is an ace lesbian!! I like to think she'd be very gentle and tender if she were to get into a relationship but it's really hard to get close to her and she has little time anyways to focus on her personal life. She loves being an aunt though! I think nearly all the people close to her are allosexual so by comparison she might feel a bit isolated sometimes and lacking someone to talk and relate with about asexuality. That, and the Pride district demons tend to be really invasive or crass if they feel like throwing nasty comments so it's something Delilah has to keep close to her. She has thick skin yeah and doesn't think of herself as the type to need lots of support but it can definitely frustrate her that her aceness is really invisible in her day to day life. Obviously Deirdre and Lassi for example are very supportive to her but they're both kinda slutty so they wouldn't have common ground with her on that, which I can say from experience can feel really isolating. Obviously not saying aces can't be slutty but Delilah herself is sex neutral to averse, leaning more on the latter usually.
She's not terribly interested in dating though and/or has given up things like that due to her profession but Her identity as a butch lesbian is meaningful to her especially since she's a trans woman, so it's definitely been a journey for her. It's hard to put exactly into words rn but ykno how your orientation still affects your personal life and feelings about other people even if you weren't actively on the dating scene? That's true for Delilah as well. I sometimes think she might also be gray or demiromantic as well but regardless, having a partner isn't relevant to her life situation rn and I don't think she could see herself trying to seek one anyway anytime soon. She's content with having her family and (very very) few friends. She's very introverted.
5 = how did you figure out your oc's identity?
Uhh I think it all came soon after I figured out her being a trans woman? I kinda simultaneously decided both she and Xerxes should be trans bc fuck yeah!!!! Lesbian was just bc. Vibes. And butch women go brrr and she had the perfect vibe to be that but her being ace does have some deeper thought behind it. Since she is a butch transbian I kinda wanted some spot of her character to be subversive and I know there's a bit of a gross stereotype around both trans and butch women that portrays them as inherently more sexual and perverse (glances hatefully at terfs), so I wanted to make her ace. I know and see the infantilism often aimed at ace people and I think we need more hardass cool ace characters. Obviously you don't wanna go too far in the other direction and imply asexuality makes someone cold and jaded but you get the point I'm trying to make with this (Tangent: wow I'm just realizing the dumbass shit ace people have to put up with, simultaneously being portrayed as innocent baby beans and also socially awkward cold jerks. Aphobia is a hell of a thing we just can't win can we)
Anyway.
Since she has an overall air of being strong and intimidating, and people could make assumptions about her sexuality based on that, I wanted to do something different there. I personally think aceness adds more interesting depth to her character as opposed to if she were allosexual. I feel like it all ties into an interesting complexity with her strong exterior and soft interior that I just really like. Queer women by beloved
Besides all that, I tend to lean towards making more aro than ace characters since I'm personally more aro than ace, so ykno, wanted to balance it out
Wanna Send me more?
10 notes · View notes
lemonhemlock · 2 years ago
Note
I think a lot of folks are genuinely afraid of helaemond becoming good/fluffy/Romantic (with a capital R) canon incest with a dose of angst.
They can ship helaegon (and aegond) because they're in a way unsalvagable drab incest on first sight that deals with the heavier/unpleasant themes of incest in a more direct fashion and the other is... Yaoi aha. Like aegond is never going to be canonTM, partially due to homophobia, like folks just ain't ready for the nasty bro on bro action on an HBO show quiet yet, and even if it was portrayed, it would be two brothers committing sexual violence on each other and not making love, which passes the "is this Incest Problematized enough for my taste?" test. Folks know Helaegon is perceived Bad, and both, but especially Aegond, will remain silly fandom activities, while Helaemond has a pretty good shot at becoming canon and Romantic - like there is a reason a lot of helaemond shippers are into the naerys/aemon of it all. For a lot of folks it's not that they can't stand incest explored in fiction at all, they just have a limit to the tone and the way it's explored, which is very fair but why not admit to it and mute/block instead of getting into these silly fights. Hell, as a helaemond shipper I've muted and blocked plenty of other helaemond shippers myself bcs I found their takes/portrayals unpleasant or just tiring/lame. But like helaemond has 500 fics, of course, there's going to be shit I don't care for.
I'm very sympathetic to those folks bcs a lot of them seem open about being survivors of incest, and as one myself I went through a phase of finding Romantic/Erotic incest unacceptable to write/portray/consume, but I got over it because I simply can't control what others will create, only what I chose to see, and actually Romantic/Erotic incest is fun! and it's all much more complicated than just this portrayal bad this portrayal good.
But I do think its also just a lot of simple "my ship is better than ur ship" in a veneer of Calvinistic pseudo-critical fictional incest-aversed internet beef where folks are trolls and snivelling assholes to each other.
The funny bit is I really got into helaegon chuz seeing their portrayal on hotd was harrowing and the first thing my mind went to wasn't "OHHH this is 100% unsalvagable I guess let's just skip very fast over it to when Aegon gets set on fire and Helaena kills herself because incest BAD" it was "well there HAD to be nice moments between them, a little windows of a pleasant conversation or a touch that didn't make both recoil and want to vomit 🤔" and to some even this line of thoughts will be read as dangerous Romanticizing/Fetishising/Deproblematicizing of Incest but honestly it mostly comes from a place of hopefulness, but also I'm a sucker for the eroticized aesthetic of hetro gothicstwinnage where both are the same height. "We have nothing in common" yes you do sit your shortass down.
My final take is learn to mute/block/curate your space, fuck shit all and let Aegon ON SCREEN fuck his entire family in varying degrees of Romanticized and Deconstructed but now I'm going to get accusations of misogyny and rape apologism bcs I'm centring the experience of the fictional anti-christ in the Incest Chronicles🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ gotta blast!
This is such an interesting insight into what might actually be going on in people's minds, thank you for sending this. I'm sure my visitors will enjoy reading your thoughts.
People being afraid of helaemond because it's the one ship presented in a positive light is something that never really crossed my mind before. To me it's more like having a small reprieve from all the darkness before the hard-hitting horror really takes over the story. It's true that helaemond can be depicted as really fluffly, but, as a counter-argument, it's still impossible to escape the fact that it's shrouded in angst. For those "fearing" it because they're against the romanticisation, there's really no true way these two can get an ending that's not tinged with some kind of sadness.
But, in any case, like you said, I don't really find that line of thought necessarily helpful - more that it tends to lead to policing and moralisation and finger-wagging that inevitably will end up looking silly.
I can't really speak on this topic with authority, because my experience is limited to fandom discourse, but I've seen survivors of incest and other kinds of sexual abuse willing to explore these topics in the safe confines of fiction in a variety of tones. So, as far as my approach to these sensitive topics, I wouldn't feel comfortable to regulate the way they choose to express and process their obviously very complex thoughts on the matter. It would feel very hypocritical and out of place for me to do that, hence why I don't resonate with the frequent moral dogpilling. It's important to keep in mind that no real life people are harmed by someone writing fiction.
I think that, as long as we remain respectful and enforce our boundaries when necessary, there's a very clear divide between what's acceptable in fiction and what's desirable in reality. Personally, I never found those lines blurring as a result of my fiction consumption, even though my tastes tend to run darker. Not to say this means one should be comfortable with everything all of the time, but being mindful of one's own triggers also means acknowledging that others' thresholds may vary. And having an honest conversation with yourself on whether or not those are actual triggers or you're just really enjoying some kind of power trip here and the fandom social currency it might earn you. Paradoxically speaking, the people crossing the fiction-reality divide are the ones choosing to engage in harassment and bullying and hypocritical exclusion behaviour on behalf of fictional characters' honours, not the ones making two fake people kiss in la la land.
That being said, us freaks will not rest until we'll make brocest a thing! Slowly but surely, they'll run out of ways to shock the public eventually and will have to give in to us. 😅
11 notes · View notes
llycaons · 2 years ago
Text
ep14 (pt1): oh boy romantic montage time
Tumblr media
wwx as a teenager is genuinely more compassionate than he's portrayed as
Tumblr media
aw shit mention of the oath
Tumblr media
I've often been confused by this sequence. if they showed wwx actually entering the shell instead of suddenly cutting to him inside this big red cavern, I think it would have made more sense
also I've often complained that animals don't have large rooms in their bodies like that but I just realized....oh yeah it's an ancient twisted monster. animal biology need not apply so 🤡
honestly I found this fight scene very drawn-out and uninteresting. the special effects for the fight were somewhat awkward and I was kind of bored. this was good though
Tumblr media
wyb does 'devastated' very well
I'm kind of missing the donhua ngl. I like cql the best but the donghua was just so focused and clever and creative with the story
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
wwx is all kinds of fucked up after this fight....not just from his concerning readiness to die but probably also from connecting with this cursed fucking sword. he seems really out of it, and seems to be in a drowsy sort of honesty when he's like 'oh lan zhan...I didn't think I'd be able to meet you again' which is a very...nitimate thing to say? bc later when lwj gives him spiritual energy and he's a little more himself
Tumblr media Tumblr media
he sees lwj all lit up and helping him and he starts complaining about how 'boring' it is. face your feelings, wwx! stop avoiding them! you think lwj is beautiful and unique and special and you like him a lot!
it's also. I feel like wwx doesn't feel like he even has the right to have an attachment outside of the jiangs? in some scenes he's really enthusiastic about himself and lwj being partners but in others he hastily denies it in order to smooth things over with jc, so jc doesn't feel abandoned. oof. we'll get to that
Tumblr media Tumblr media
okay the top one is the viki and the bottom one is the youtube version which I remember! why are the translations the opposite of each other! also the youtube version is literally higher quality im so mad
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
god damn I love the lyrics to wuji. they almost don't matter, since they never come up after this and they're not relevant to the song's significance within the narrative, but they're perfect. it's about the struggles of a lifetime, about grief and joy, the ups and downs of being in the world, of reputation lost and gained. vague and poetic, and achingly relevant. that last line about sharing a tune together at the horizon....that's the finale, isn't it? just beautifully put together and a powerful reflection of the story itself, wwx's rise and fall and the pains and joys he's going to face. cannot believe a 16 yr old wrote that. tho if it was anyone, it would be lwj wouldn't it
Tumblr media
lwj is ALWAYS the one leaving without saying goodbye! no wonder wwx lost faith! in this context the gusu situation is a little urgent but like. he couldn't have left a note?
I've read a few fics where they sleep together in the cave and 1. nasty and 2. that would make him just leaving after so much worse 😭 I do not endorse the first time cave sex headcanon. I still don't think it would realistically happen until ep 43. too early here, and after sunshot wwx is terrified of anyone touching him because they'll be able to tell he's lost his core. so as fun as angsty sunshot hookups are, I simply cannot see it. tho that would technically also be a factor in ep43, I don't think wwx cares as much by then if lwj knows
Tumblr media
aw shit good job jzx
jc is yelling at wwx AGAIN and complaining about not being recognized for his efforts. my dude he just woke up from a week-long fevered sleep chill out. also can jzx stop crowding him? it's like these idiots have no idea how to treat sick people ALSO. why did jc have to run for help? they had a ton of people there. couldn't they have removed the boulders themselves? huh, maybe the wens were hanging around and all they could do was flee
Tumblr media
wwx and ljw have such main character energy that wen chao KNEW they stayed behind to kill the false xuanwu...okay
Tumblr media
the shidis are learning archery and jyl is just...standing there. okay! couldn't have had her like, reading or doing crafts. nope. just standing there. probably looking out for her returning brothers but like. come on
Tumblr media
I really love that jfm personally goes to teach the little disciples. he's gentle and encouraging, and provides a reassuring and secure presence, and I'm sure his students love him. despite his flaws I'm very fond of him esp here
Tumblr media
oh wwx, fainting again. first of many
Tumblr media
this detail is legit so freaking cute. and wwx's warm smile upon seeing it and knowing he's home 🥰 this supports my 'wwx is a hopeless romantic' agenda. I did laugh when the donghua gave one of them huge boobs but the wx subtext in that show was so potent I can't really accuse them of straightwashing. more evidence for him being bi is all
Tumblr media
good for you, jc
Tumblr media
see, here he's trying to make jc feel better by calling lwj boring and jc just - lashes out. wwx tries this entire scene to deflect praise onto jc and diminish his accomplishments and to support jc and jc just treats him like shit. no wonder their relationship is so terrible later if jc treats him like this just bc he's mad. can't he see that wwx has no more control over this situation than jc does? he's just the acceptable target in jc's eyes bc jc can't be mad at his parents!
Tumblr media
like wen chao was trying to murder mm and string up her body to attract the monster which they were going to be expected to fight without weapons. what the fuck was he supposed to do? and he's not even the one who started the fight! AND if he hadn't stayed behind, how could everyone else has escaped? I didn't see jc offering any other solutions! jesus
Tumblr media
it sucks that jfm is implying that jc doesn't have the right temperament to lead the clan, but he's literally the only person in authority to push back against jc's treatment of wwx this arc. and he's literally right that you shouldn't speak from anger. it's not what a leader should do, it's not fair or just, it doesn't allow you to speak wisely or carefully, and it's not something that will lead anywhere good. but after this arc all jc does is lead from anger and bitterness!
it's also so twisted that wwx feels responsible for this and tries to defend jc as 'he's just mad and venting' which he says is fine here but later in the story he bitterly complains about. like I know he loves and misses LP as an adult but this entire situation was absolutely noxious for everyone involved. ppl talk about jyl being parentified but wwx felt obligated to do the same for jc as well and put aside all his own needs and emotions for jc's as soon as this shit starts up. he acts like the undeserving servant as soon as he feels like he needs to I feel dizzy
6 notes · View notes
nonclassyparty · 2 years ago
Note
Joining in to add this
Just because a man is transparent about the things he does doesn't mean hes not a manipulative asshole. This man literally played both girls and yeosang's feelings but I just find it funny how he gets excused by the things he did because he was "transparent" like I need you niggas to be serious. Let's face it, y'all siding with the male lead more because well obviously he's being played/portrayed by an idol you like which in this case is San but if this was an ordinary nigga, y'all would not be riding this hard for him.
Both mc and Sr!San did terrible things but idk 😐 the man gets a pass all the time with the excuse that he's transparent like even some of y'all anons keep saying y'all would fold for him again because hes hot doesn't matter if he's toxic lol
meanwhile this is how y'all are with the female mc: "her going through traumatic events growing up doesn't excuse her nasty behavior towards boyoung and it's her fault for chosing to sleep with the man even though he was transparent" like y'all keep bringing that one scene up where she embarrassed that poor girl but none of y'all ever wanna addressed how shitty it was for that man to immediately sleep with someone else when he just broke up with his gf or the way he's been taking advantage of yeosang his bff the entire time they've been friends because he knows he's got feelings for him or when he let everybody know of mcs drug problem
omg we're going back to the san vs the country of nonclassypartyvania case? 😭😭
those are all valid points btw but i'll tell you right now that there are more people on your side than on san's and everything you mentioned that people never addressed has definitely been brought up multiple times before (altho san never played boyoung!) 😭 so if anybody is getting excused that's y/n bc readers have BEEN on san's ass 😭
the whole time i'm just trying to even out the playing field here bc both san AND y/n have been on their shitty behavior but one is considered a bad person while the other is not. so just like u think readers excuse san (altho i'm telling everyone to stand up when they say they'd fold if they were y/n) bc they're biased and can't look at him objectively, a lot of other readers excuse y/n bc they can't detach themselves from her inner thoughts and look at her objectively bc we see EVERYTHING through her eyes so immediately we lean more towards her being poor little meow meow bc we empathize with her.
idk how to say this... there are no sides here, they're both morally grey characters and if you call either one of them bad people then that's just an opinion led by personal feelings which is totally okay of course but it's not objective
8 notes · View notes