#they're a problematic couple

[a-whump-muffin]

bad apple!! (1)

I’ve finally finished enough of this new bbu story to show the world!

bad apple!! is the story of a former trainee and former handler, both on the run from WRU for the last eight years. This piece focuses on their unconventional relationship, and the very real concern the people around them have regarding it…

CW: box boy universe, condescending and unhelpful caretaking, references to violence, murder, and self-harm

---

“You couldn’t have possibly chosen him of your own free will.”

Nate despises those words.

“No,” he says each time, barely able to stop himself from snapping. If he’s too defensive, they’ll dismiss him without a second thought. He suffocates the anger stirring in his chest before it crawls up his throat, each and every time. “I know exactly who I fell in love with.”

He can never find the words to convince them. In their eyes, they only see a broken man who had been a boy when his entire life was stolen from him. In their eyes, Nate will never be fully in control of his own fate. The memories that were stolen from him will never return and the pain he suffered while collared like an animal will always cloud his decisions.

It’s the most infuriating part of the pet liberation movement. No matter the pretty words they use, they clearly don’t see him as their equal. The rescues don’t always understand, either.

However, Nate can understand their concerns. He has grown used to deflecting them. He is used to having to prove his own competence. What he hates, and can’t forgive as easily, is when people like Stefan say those words where Roy can hear them.

“I don’t need people telling me who to love,” Nate says with a hint of scorn.

“That’s the point,” Stefan tries to convince him. “The handlers do it on purpose. They make themselves the center of your world, make you willing to do anything and everything to please them. You know how this works. Just think about it for a second!”

Nate shakes his head. If he had anything in his hands, he would have thrown it across the room in frustration. It’s not fair that he has to swallow his anger until it burns. 

He doesn’t know how to explain that he fell in love with Roy at his worst, long before he ever saw a glimpse of his gentle and considerate side. He fell in love with the man who didn’t so much as flinch when his colleague bled out in front of him, who is willing to dirty his hands again and again to earn their freedom.

Roy, who was supposed to destroy every last part of him but reminded him of the man he killed long after his name and memories were wiped from his head. He didn’t remind him as a form of punishment.

“Remember you killed someone,” he’d whispered at least once a day, out of sight of the surveillance cameras and too soft for his voice to be picked up. “Hold onto that feeling. And, one day, when you need it most…

“Don’t hesitate.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Nate says, finally irritated enough by the baseless accusations. He tries to keep his voice level. “You don’t know Roy. Yes, Roy, not ‘the handler’. He has a name, too.”

“You-”

“No, you listen to me.” Nate’s voice turns cold enough to startle, and Stefan has the sense to be wary.

He is reminded of something else Roy once told him, before they ran, before running was even a possibility.

“You and I, we’re not so different.” Roy was always quiet when he said those words. A distant, troubled look would cloud his eyes. He would never elaborate. Later, Nate knew what he meant without being told.

“Roy has risked more than you know to keep everyone safe.” Nate takes a deep breath. He is sick to his stomach with the knowledge that Roy can hear everything they’re saying. “He’s done some awful things in the past, and what he does now can’t make up for it. But he’s not asking for your, or anyone else’s, forgiveness. Who I choose to love, and choose to forgive, is my own business.”

Nate doesn’t let Stefan have the last word. He stalks away before the man can respond, effectively ending the conversation. He probably hasn’t convinced him in the slightest, but Nate feels better for having said it

He heads straight for the room he has been sharing with Roy, who treats it like solitary confinement. No one is forcing him to stay, but it’s also unbearably awkward for everyone involved when he shows his face around the common areas.

Nate finds him sitting against the wall next to the door.

“You heard all that,” Nate says apologetically, leaning down to tug Roy to his feet and off the floor. He follows without protest. Nate avoids his hands, which might still be sensitive from the night before when he scrubbed so hard he made himself bleed.

“He’s not entirely wrong.” Roy’s voice is soft but not uncertain, just a little tired. Nate makes him sit on the edge of the futon and stares until they meet each other’s eyes.

“Don’t say that,” Nate says, heart heavy with regret and affection towards this man who has probably defied all of his expectations for a life partner. He is sure that the boy he was would never have imagined himself with a guy like Roy. “Like I said, no one has a right to tell me who to love. Not even you.”

Roy’s eyes flicker with a bit of warmth. His lips twitch upwards in a half smile. He winds his fingers between Nate’s, and he sees now that Roy has been picking at the bandages. It’s a nervous habit, but Nate is relieved to see that Roy is comfortable enough to let him see it.

“Alright,” Roy says mildly. “I won’t argue with you.”

Nate rolls his eyes.

“I love you of my own free will,” he insists, careful not to squeeze his hands too hard. “I don’t appreciate people telling me that what we have isn’t real.”

He knows it’s real, not only because of his own feelings on the matter or the way Roy leans in to capture his lips in a kiss filled with just enough heat to steal his breath away.

The bandages are rough under his fingers. He traces the frayed edges gently with his thumbs.

If Roy didn’t love him, he wouldn’t tear himself apart doing all these jobs he hates. Roy became a handler to escape the family business. He had wanted a “normal” life - or as close to one as he could get.

Nate took that away from him. 

“They’re your family,” he’d said, once, when he’d had enough of seeing Roy’s hands tremble long after he came back from one of those jobs. Like every other time, he refused to explain why it left him so shaken. “Won’t they understand if you need a break? Or want to do something else?”

“Everything has a price,” Roy had said, as if it was an unshakable truth. “It’s just a matter of how much you’re willing to pay for what you want.”

Roy isn’t a good person. His family is probably way worse. 

Still, Nate doesn’t believe that they’re as uncaring and cruel to their own as Roy makes them out to be. He has overheard Roy’s conversations with his older brother and the light banter between them doesn’t sound like they don’t care about each other. His brother knows about Nate, and even asks about him sometimes. 

Roy reads into every remark and question his brother makes as a threat. Nate doesn’t know if it’s true or if Roy is just being paranoid.

The other pet lib members think he’s a ticking time bomb. That might very well be the case, but Nate knows he is more of a threat to himself than anyone else. 

“Don’t listen to them,” Nate reiterates. “I know what I want.”

[horreurscopes]

watching death note and house of the dragon simultaneously earlier this year did something permanent to my galaxy brain

[ineed-to-sleep]

Well you see they're just very good friends

[tennessoui]

In the Counseling AU fic, I wonder how long it takes the Senate to get used to Anakin Skywalker running through the corridors and spying on Obi-Wan behind potted plants because 'Obi-Wan felt sad this morning'. Like, oh, the Jedi hiding behind the couch? No worries, that's just the one that stalks the shorter one. At first we thought it was a Jedi mating ritual, but it's married to the Senator from Naboo so now we think it just got hit on the head too many times in the war, bless its heart.

the senate: hey can you control your jedi please. also we asked for one jedi. why did you send over two jedi.

the jedi council: no we sent over one jedi.

the senate: no there's two here. like. all the time. being disruptive. arguing with each other and crying on each other and being weird about each other. like all the time.

the jedi council: oh apologies, we see the confusion. that's the first jedi's emotional support jedi. they're not allowed to be separated or Bad Things Happen

the senate: we would like to politely yet firmly return the other jedi. we only need the one jedi and we would like to keep kenobi as he is very polite.

the jedi council: oh no, no, sorry they're inseparable. must be purchased together. thank you for your business! :)

[sherlock-is-ace]

I'm sick of reboots, I'm tired of spinoffs, I don't care for remakes... For the love of God, just make new stuff!!

[longsightmyth]

Inside of me (and... outside of me, see also the blog) there's a rant about pretending you're smarter than someone shipping feylin while the feylin shipper acknowledges the issues in the relationship, especially later, but uncritically shipping feysand and defending the actions of rhysand while ignoring that tamlin and rhysand do exactly the same things

But honestly @bookishfeylin has probably said it more succinctly somewhere so go look at her stuff

[iftitah]

okay quick

[nikatyler]

It's been far too long since I've last thrown something vaguely 80s glam metal coded on Tyler

[hislittleraincloud]

I'm binging through a show and there's this couple that the audience is meant to like because they're so wholesome and I'm just like

ugh

If a couple isn't problematic in some way, I just don't care for them. Give me terrible people or give me death!

[mercuriart]

hmmm i want to be. a little bit controversial. but i fear this is the no nuance no critical thinking webbed site. and i don't want to start discourse on this account. ill just. tags.

[mieczyhale]

"if you have to cite the dictionary you've already lost"

??? ?? ? ?? ? ?

that doesn't..... alright

[raelish644]

it would def rip a hole in the space time continuum

sanders sides is the one fandom where you actually kinda don’t want the ship to become canon

[skleechtheleech]

decided to remove a few things from both my worldbuilding lore and the beginning bit of the prologue, so if the prologue looks different to what it used to be when i first posted it that's why 👍

[gentleoverdrive]

[June/1 of 3] We'll Start Again!

I think it's fine to have a thing that we like but it either has quote-unquote "problematic" elements or it was made by shitheads. For example, I still really love a lot of movies written and/or directed by Paul Schrader despite the fact he's become (or maybe always was in spirit? lol) a facebook uncle. ---- I still love a lot of Deftones' music despite the fact that they were pricks to Sergio Vega behind the scenes and Stef Carpenter is/was (apparently still is) an anti-vaxxer + flat-earther. Same goes for Fear Factory and Dino being very prone to butting heads with people + being more than a bit controlling (I've heard that he's mellowed out considerably now that he's older) ---- At the same time, it's also fine to disown media or people that you loved but that the creator/performers proved shitty beyond repair and it has tainted your perception of the piece of media, like it happened with a lot of people and Lostprophets (tw: SA, CSA) me with Radiohead, etc. ---- Just... like, remember that people can be flawed, and shitty; hell, sometimes your tastes just change, and it's fine. You can like something even if it came at the expense of horrible circumstances/people making it. Or you can stop liking it if it's a dealbreaker. Again, this isn't me chastising anybody, it's just about you knowing when to think about a thing and how not to waste time or energy on something that, truth be told, rarely is ever worth it. ---- Does that make a little bit of sense? Is this just another fucking writing exercise without any rhyme, reason or purpose? Who knows. Be excellent to yourselves and one another. Laterz!

[kittyhalk]

so I finished gideon the ninth

[burinazar]

This is a bit aside from the actual topic but the way this poll is set up, with "the two on top" and "the three on top' as options distinct from simply voting for the second or third choice, implies something really funny to me.

It means that hypothetically the only reason you would vote for the second option is if you thought 4-6 years was okay but 1-3 years wasn't okay (because otherwise, you'd be expected to pick 'the two options on top' to cover both ranges, instead of picking '4-6 years'.) Likewise, if you voted option three it would be because you thought 7-10 years was okay but 1-6 years wasn't (because otherwise, you would pick 'all three options on top'). That's very funny. I have to assume people voting for those options didn't interpret the poll as such, because there's no way there are people saying "ugh, I can do a four year age gap but a three year one, no!!!"

As to the actual topic, gotta shout out one of the best replies on here being the one from @chiisana-sukima saying "If what you're worried about is what kind of fictional age gap your current friends would judge you for though, unfortunately no one can answer that except those friends. And that is entirely about their maturity."

Note from Anon:

“Please say your opinion in the tags! I’m asking cuz I have two oc ships and I’m afraid that the age differences might be a problem, the first is a 28 year old x a 31 year old the other is a 41 year old x a 46 year old.”

-submit your poll!-