#they'd probably be happy to just have a non-life-threatening problem for once

[bitemedotmp3]

‘  i don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.  ’

"Bite me! I said I was sorry!" shouts Uzi, on her hands and knees. With a pair of long rubber gloves, one of her arms is submerged elbow-deep in a bucket of soapy water, and the other wields a bristly scrub that she drags back and forth across the tile in a futile motion.

"I just don't see why you had to leave the oil can open," snaps Mika, pouring detergent into her own bucket. "Oil doesn't go in the kitchen!"

"The kitchen's for food, and that's my food!" Uzi slams the scrub down, splashing bubbles onto her visor. "You're being... racist? Something like that."

"No, I'm being reasonably upset that you spilled a bottle of drone oil on the floor! It's... it's dirty, if it got on any food I'd have to throw it out!" Mika draws an arm across her brow, sighing. "At least it didn't get on my clothes..."

"Humans cook with oil all the time, why is this such a big deal?"

Mika kneels back on her feet, dunking her sponge into the bucket. "It's not the same. That's cooking oil, you can eat it. Your oil is for engines. Listen, if I spilled a bottle of... of olive oil in your room, you wouldn't be happy, would you?"

Uzi thinks back to the time she spilled oil on one of her old hoodies, instantly transforming it from a nice article of clothing into a piece of garbage. Or, robo-god forbid, imagine if she got it on her hair. She still doesn't have any replacement wigs in this city yet, and if someone saw her bald she'd have to find out if worker drones had a self-destruct function tucked away somewhere.

"I guess not," she says, frowning. "Fine, fine, you win. I don't care enough to fight about it, anyways."

"That's surprising, coming from you. You were yelling about the Sailor Moon remake the other day," says Mika, laughing.

"Crystal didn't need to exist! The original was fine!" shouts Uzi. "Clearly, I only fight about important things!"

"Like anime."

"Like anime!"

Mika laughs again, and Uzi huffs. A short silence ensues as the two girls work at the oil stains, and Mika marvels at how much cleaner it all looks.

"I think we're almost done, Uzi. Uzi?" she looks back to see her housemate, head lowered to the floor, making slurping sounds-

"A-are you drinking the oil off the floor?" she asks, eyes wide.

Uzi snaps upright, a neon purple blush on her visor. "N-no! Maybe! Bite me! I'm not gonna let it to go waste, I paid for it!"

"But it's mixed with water and soap now, there's no way it's okay for you to drink."

"No, over here it's okay. Haven't washed this part yet."

"Well, maybe you should! Because the sooner we're done, the sooner you can... I don't know, watch more anime, I guess."

"Whatever, mom."

The two lapse back into silence, grumbling at each other in their thoughts. Both are so focused on cleaning that neither of them notice V enter the room, drawn to that delicious smell. But when she sees both Uzi and Mika furiously scrubbing at a greasy, black stain on the ground, she backs away without saying a word. She used to work as a maid for rich assholes, she's had enough of cleaning for one life.

[trashcatsnark]

I'm glad you liked my AU, I was kinda nervous that I'm bothering you ':D 1. V is of course allowed to stay with the Aldecaldos with no problems, since they're already a part of the family, but Johnny is only allowed to stay if he 1. will work on jobs with them to earn his keep 2. will do different chores around the camp 3. will behave; he starts a fight or something like that and he's out. Johnny is determined to be on his best behavior so that he's allowed to stay and look after V. After what they've been through together, he couldn't bear to be split from them again, especially not over something so stupid like starting a brawl. 2. He doesn't really socialise much, he's too focused on V. Aldecaldos tolerate him, but he can feel that they are a bit uneasy around him, and he can't really blame them, he's a man who died 50 years ago and was brought back to life, not exactly something you see every day (though I'd imagine they'd warm up to eachother after a post-gig bonfire, with Johnny showing off his guitar chops). 3. Johnny and V live in the same van, of course. Graciously donated by the Aldecaldos, it's their new home and mode of transport when the caravan moves. It's a bit small, but it's managable and slowly starts to fill out with different trinkets, items, postcards and photos from their travels. They usually sit on the steps in the mornings and sometimes look at the starry sky on the roof in the evenings. 4. If V feels good enough to leave the van, Johnny is always near, like a shadow. Just a local oddity, a merc who died and came back to life twice and a world-famous terrorist rockerboy that now watches over them in pretty much complete silence and a permanent scowl on his face, nbd. 5. Johnny usually keeps his hair tied, partially because it's more practical and he hates having a swety neck, and partially because it fucks with his facial features and he's harder to recognise by bystanders like cashiers. 6. V is in no condition to drive, so Johnn usually does it when the caravan has to move. V either chats with him to keep him company, reads him books or screamsheets out loud or does crossword puzzles with him. 7. Johnny sometimes missess the fact that he can no longer feel what V is feeling, mostly because it would make the whole "caretaking" thing much easier for him, just letting him know what V needs without words. Now he actually has to guess or ask, and he doesn't know which is harder. He looks at V and feels like he should be able to do more for them, but he has no idea what that more would actually be.

Firstly, never worry about bothering, I absolutely adore how many asks and messages I’ve been getting lately! I may be slow to reply sometimes but I’m honestly just am really happy to see people wanting to read my dumbass replies, if anything I worry about giving bad replies since I am the “queen of fuckups” as Johnny has so elegantly dubbed me and my V before. 

Ahhhh, I love it so much, firstly I love bitchface Johnny always lurking over V because he’s a protective heathen. V just has to be like, yeah, no he’s really a sweetie though...well, okay no he’s kinda an asshole, but like he’s my asshole so it’s fine.  And the rule of Johnny, please behave, and he’d try so hard but you know there’s a part of him that’s always like that son of a bitch looked at V the wrong way and i want to punch him but god damn it, i cannot and will sit here consumed with internal rage for the rest of the night 

Also ponytail Johnny owns my whole soul. my V wakes up to him in sweatpants and hair in a ponytail once and is like shit I died and gone to heaven. I like to imagine if anyone still is ever like wait... “are you Johnny Silverhand?” he just gives a completely vague non-committal response of like “who knows.” (I also love ideas of him being like Tony Hawk in that he’s never fully recognized or people assuming he’s some fanatic who just runs around dressed like Johnny Silverhand like Elvis Imposters or him more often being confused for Keanu Reeves since he exists in universe) 

Johnny pulling a here’s Wonderwall at the campfire just for the joke of it, sometimes when he’s in a really good mood he’ll take requests (tho mostly just V’s, if anyone really for sure wants to hear him play something specific they know to ask V to ask for it) 

Living in a van, I imagine it majorllllly reminds Johnny of band days, touring, he’ll tell V all his stories of living in a van with Kerry, Henry, Denny, and Nancy for months at time. Having to listen to Henry and Denny fight the entire damn time, nearly puking when they’d had to listen to the two make up. Nancy losing her mind trying to reign in her feral children of bandmates, at times just choosing to drive instead of stay in the bus because you can handle so much. Kerry constantly stealing Johnny’s pants. Johnny bringing people back to the bus and later getting yelled at because he inevitably left...evidence of it on something that didn’t belong to him. (sometimes accidentally and other times, well, Kerry deserved it) Having to share a bathroom with them all and threatening to piss on Kerry’s bed if he didn’t hurry it the fuck up.  He has a billion stories, that he knows V already knows, but they still wanna hear em, so why not. 

I also fucking live for Johnny and V just hating the fact they aren’t linked the way they were before. They actually have to talk, god the horror. I definitely imagine  my Johnny and V following the separation occasionally find themselves having to tell the other person “we have to use our big girl/boy/person words, now” They’ll catch the other staring off into the distance and be like “you just were trying to talk to me through your mind rn werent you?” or V will be thinking things to Johnny and be like “why are you ignoring me???? wAIT I HAVE TO TALK” They feel this distance that they never knew existed before. 

I know in your AU V probably wouldn’t be up for it, but when they would be or any V and Johnny with nomads verse;  part of me feels like Johnny would be torn on wanting to pilot the Basilisk with V. Because half of him is worried about the claustrophobia of it, he hates cramped dark, closed in places. But fuck fuck fuck, he wants that neurological link with V. He wants it. And if they do it, he’ll feel so at peace that he finally has his person back in the deepest sense of it, that he forgets all about being stuck in that coffin.  

I also majorly think, while not as severe as the one between the twins in the beat on the brat fights; they don’t wanna be the same person. But they do want some form of neural synchronization implants. I imagine they might have something where they can read each others minds, it do be the future, just something that lets them always feel connected. Vik looks at them like they’re stupid, you fought to be separated and now you just wanna climb back into each other’s head.