#they'd learn stuff like keeping their house clean too

[karineverse]

Do you think Ink would make a house after he got kids so they could learn what having a home is like

[barbaricjester]

Ok since youre asking for anons- have you had anymore thoughts on the Living Shack au? I love that concept and need more- will you make a fic of it?

Make a fic of it- probably not. At least, not one that is wholly focused on the shack being alive? I'd make it more of a subplot, or just a quirky thing in the background. The massive post I made already is more or less in the vein of a fic I'd make anyways. If you want to, though, feel free! I'd love to read that!

As for any more thoughts, absolutely. So many. Mostly just disjointed headcanons and ideas, but here you go:

Bill hates the Shack. Absolutely loathes it for several reasons, that range from the Shack impeding him being able to get into places (via locking its doors, refusing to let him open cabinets or drawers, etc), to a lowkey jealousy that it's another eldritch entity that Ford likes.

The Shack's ability to conjure things isn't limitless- when it magically "creates" blankets or cookie mix or what have you, it's more of a teleportation thing. It extends itself into its connection to the valley itself and takes that item from elsewhere. It tries to only take things from places they won't be missed, such as stores and the like, and sometimes it puts stuff back, but not always.

Unlike with Ford, where the Shack had to gradually warm up to him, it didn't have that with Stan. It bore witness to his early days after Ford fell into the portal, and in amorphous scope of emotions that it has, it pitied him. If anything, it became more protective of Stan than it ever had of Ford.

The Shack does not like being dirty. It is also perfectly capable of cleaning itself up. It fussed at Ford though, and made him do it, if only to make him take a break from studying. It cleaned itself for Stan, though, and cleaned after the twins, at first, until Stan asked it not to so they'd learn to pick up after themselves.

The Shack is... amused, by Waddles. It often conjures treats for the pig, and always opens its doors whenever the pig needs outside. It will also flatten its stairs into a ramp for him to get upstairs, which is much easier for the little chubby swine than hopping up the steps.

A few times, in the early days, Stan would be late or short on payments for the bills when the Mystery Shack was still taking off. Ford had generators, of course, but Stan didn't always keep up with them. When the power or water would be turned off by companies, strangely, there would still be plenty of both.

I mentioned it doodles on itself when its windows fog, but it does the same on mirrors after they steam up from showers. Many times, Dipper has stepped out of a shower to see words of encouragement scrawled in the fog, complimenting his singing or appearance- it actually kind of helps him with his confidence.

While the Shack doesn't have a voice, it talks to Stan. It groans, creaks, shuts doors or cabinets or windows- Stan has gotten pretty good at interpreting it. It helped a lot in the early days, giving him someone to talk to in his isolation. They also argue a lot.

Once, Wendy was in her hiding spot on the roof, crying, and she heard the roof trapdoor slam. When she went to look, she found a bowl of ice cream, a blanket, and one of her favorite magazines. She's pretty sure Soos left them for her in a quiet effort to comfort her.

When Soos and Abuelita move into the Shack, it absolutely adores Abuelita. Not only is she meticulous about cleaning, but she makes delicious meals that the Shack can?? kinda smell?? It has no nose, but what house wouldn't like to smell like a homecooked meal for a family? It makes sure her spice cabinet is always tidy, and helps the old lady with the stairs, rearranging her things so they're never far from her.

Melody is another person that catches on to the Shack's sentience, but she thinks Soos knows too so she never brings it up.

The Shack hates Gompers. Absolutely hates him. He won't stop chewing on its baseboards, and while the Shack doesn't exactly feel pain, it could do without the constant itching that it can't scratch.

The Shack is more or less always conscious of what happens within its walls, but its not always paying attention. It can shift its focus away from certain rooms for a time, which is handy when a young couple is living together, or there is a loud, messy party being thrown; it'll shut its consciousness down like a hibernation, and sometimes get sassy with Stan when the party was particularly crazy (such as the events of Scaryoke).

I'm also having thoughts now of a post-canon, post-theraprism Living Shack AU, and how it handles Bill being back. Miiight make a post about that another day, if anyone is interested!

[until-another-one-comes]

Do you have any headcanons on what the neighbour’s hobbies are? What do they do in their free time?

Not for all of them ofc but at the top of my head:

- Izaack likes to read and go out drinking with friends

- Arnold works on his books and is also obviously an avid reader. He loves mysteries and classics (or uh, whats considered as classics for the 50s ig...) and horror. He also keeps a journal.

- Margarette crochets and knits and does little sewing projects in her free time. She gifts the neighbors hand-made scarves and gloves during winter. She bakes sometimes too

- Rafftellyn and Lois usually go to each others houses to gossip and have tea when they don't have housework. For some reason I also feel like they'd both be in the town council?

- Angus goes out of his house a lot. No one knows what the fuck he does during those times... besides that he goes out drinking with Izaack a lot or sometimes with Francis and/or Steven. Also can be seen smoking outside the apartment.

- Steven builds plane models and listens to rock bands on the radio while working on them. Also I kind of want to give him a guitar that he's slowly trying to learn how to play.

- Alf and Mclooy sometimes hang out together and reminiscent about their younger selves (I hc they grew up together and known each other the longest) while smoking.

- Selenne is trying to learn how to sew from Margarette while Elenois is trying to learn how to bake from Nacha.

- Francis is the type to not really have a hobby and kind of just do whatever to pass the time. For some reason I HC he doesn't really like watching TV and prefers the radio or newspaper. I feel like when he's not working or resting he does a lot of random stuff to distract himself like cleaning the house 2-3 times a week or help out the neighbors with whatever.

- Mia paints and does tutoring for any of her students that need it. Anastacha regularly goes over to her house so she can help her with homework.

- Afton loves doing puzzles and sudokus and word search. Anything that simulates his brains, he'll love it. Has a shit ton of books on amy range of subjects. Thats also how she and Mia met and bond over cuz they're both nerds

I feel like because of the doppelganger threats, everyones' lives get severely disrupted and while they're still able to go out and do things like their work and school and grocery shopping, a lot of activities are avoided and most people tend to not go outside too much if they can help it. I can see stuff like Nacha telling Anastacha not to go out and play too much on her own and activities like sports or going to the theaters are avoided. Its just a lot of mess but everyone do their best to carry on with their lives as normally as possible

[digenerate-trash]

HIM! Okay! He's got issues, but it's okay, we all do in this town-

I would LOVE his opinions on every LI if you don't mind going into details! I love learning about PCs! Go into as much detail as you want!

Robin - Robin and Clove are close of course they are they live in the same orphanage and go to school together. they're friends and even though Clove has no issue with Robin having a crush on him he's not interested in her romanticly at all. which is a little sad but their friendship remains strong though out that. Robin is the only orphan to share their electronics and games so Clove has not only taken on their debt but spends a lot of their time making sure Robin never gets into danger on his watch.

Whitney - Clove is head over heels for this bastard. constantly trying to impress him by being at his beck and call. a strong believer in the phrase "boys are only mean to you because they like you" which has led to some very strange issues with not only Whitney but his friends as well. would probably do everything shy of murder if he asked

Kylar - really wants to be /just/ friends with Kylar they're interesting sensitive smart and an artist so of course Clove would get along with them the issue is when Kylar is around Clove cant spend time with his other friends (and Whitney) because of the jealousy issue and because of the violent streak yet. usually, he'll put aside a day or two to spend with Kylar so they don't go totally off the rails.

Sydney - Sydney and Clove are study buddies mostly but it's obvious to everyone but them that theirs a mutual crush going on. Sydney is always willing to help with math which is the only subject Clove really has some major issues with. In return, Clove helps Sydney and Sirris set up their shop and helps out regularly around the library. will always take the blame for stolen books or anything else that Whitney steals.

Alex - Clove and Alex never really meet sadly. but that's only because Clove has a crippling fear of leaving the relative safety of the town. better to face the beast you know than something completely unknown. though Alex is exactly the kind of person that Clove could grow close to. with a real work ethic and a strong moral sense and Clove not being afraid of hard work. Alex and Clove would get along and probably end up forming a lasting relationship.

Eden- the crippling fear of the unknown keeps Clove firmly inside the town. but if CLove was to be carted off to Eden Id imagine there be a lot of strain on the relationship since everything that Eden does from the collar to the insatiable sex drive would remind them of Whitney they'd probably be miserable as Eden tries to cart them into being the perfect housewife even though Clove would rather physically die then have children or house keep for the rest of their life since they're in their twenties and their wild streak has just barely begun.

Avery - Avery has a strange appeal to Clove but there's an issue, Avery is too clean he's too polite he's too much for Clove. Clove can barely stand this attitude that everything needs to be perfect when they're together. this pisses off Avery because imagine getting rejected by a snot-nosed orphan boy who crossdresses! like Avery is probably the best thing to happen to this bastard and they keep skipping out on dates to hang out with a disheveled blonde. Clove only agrees to dates if they're desperate for the cash. and he thinks he or Robin could be in danger. and on those dates, he's the most well-behaved.

Hope this little insight into Clove is good!! if anyone has any more questions I'm so happy to answer stuff about my Pc!!

[elslittlestories]

How I feel being in a relationship with Tech would really be like

Disclaimer : I held absolutely no grudges against writers describing Tech's romantic behavior a little too neurotypical to my taste.

Once Tech figures he likes you too, you'll become his new l'hyperfixation. He'll study you and gathered as much data as he can without actually have to ask any questions. If you have a friend or relative that loves to tell stories about you, they'd be Tech primary source of information.

In the first weeks, maybe months of your relationship, he might spend a LOT of time with you. He enjoys your company but mostly, he's looking for more data! He wants to know everything about you, from your favorite ice-cream flavor to your piloting skills (if you have any)

If one of your passions peeks his interest, Tech will also hyperfocus on that (side quest!!) . You might end up spending hours talking about the subject together, which is great. Until he becomes more knowledgeable than you and starts correcting you with his usual bluntness. I hope you're not too susceptible...!

He'll make a list of things you've talked about and rely on it when looking for gifts ideas. You might get a bunch of stuff you wouldn't have bought for yourself, since Tech can't really tell the difference between small talk and something you actually like a lot.

There most likely won't be much sweet talk and romantic metaphor coming from Tech. Don't try telling him you love him to the moon and back (or whatever the Star Wars equivalent is) and don't expect him to do it neither. Subtle allusions to cuddles will lead you nowhere. If you want a kiss, grab his by the neck or just ask for it! He'll do the same to you.

If one day he feels comfortable telling you he loves you, it won't be a serenade. You'll have to learn how to read the emotions behind his words. Maybe he'll tilt his head a certain way, or he'll squeeze your hand or your thigh but it will be a simple 'I love you'.

If forced to it, he might ramble about why he loves you. It'll be messy, sometime incoherent like starting a sentence but changing his mind midway and going a complete opposite direction. It's cute, though.

He won't celebrate any anniversary and will most likely forget your birthday. He'll k ow the dates, but when the day comes, he won't connect the dots. Partly because his brain doesn't work like that, partly because this kind of stuff means nothing to him. If you ask him to take you on a date or do something special for the occasion, he will do it gladly though, as a chance to spend time with you. But to him it'll be just another Tuesday.

As time passes by, his hyperfocus on you will pass and this is when it might become difficult to maintain the relationship. Tech will still love you, but there'll be another fixation on his mind that he will dedicate a lot of time to. Which will lead to less time together...He'll come home late, forget about date nights, and might not listen to you as much, even intterupt you to infodump.

His gifts might become even more random. Or he'll buy you stuff related to his l'hyperfixation and might have trouble understanding why you don't find it fascinating.

He most probably won't be of any help with chores from day one. He'll do the dishes with you if it means keeping up with your conversation, but don't expect him to clean the floor on his own. If you confront him about it (rightly so!), he'll offer to pay for a house keeper. To avoid further fights, you might consider it seriously!

Tech's definition of a cuddle is him sitting on the couch with his data pad and you laying against him. He'll play with your hair and trace lines on your skin, which feels great, but the actual hugs makes him too uncomfortable.

He'll only initiate hugs in three occasions : when you cry, when you two reunite after spending a few days appart and when making out.

You might feel left out as time goes by, but getting him back to you will only take a good communication. Tech loves you, he just doesn't feel the need to show it as much as you'd want him to. Maintaining a relationship with someone like him takes work, from both of you, and a lot af talking. Chances are you're overanalyzing that thing he said or the reason with he forgot you were going out tonight. Talk to him ❤️

He'll die for you. Literally.

This is way too long but I can't help but give you these too extra treats 🙃

No cute couple photograph. The man doesn't know how to smile on picture and will look either like a retarded or a serial killer.

He'll. comment. the. movie. He'll suggest theories (mostly right so he's basically spoiling the damn movie) and point at plot holes. If it's too scientifically inaccurate, he might just leave.

[i-may-be-paranoid]

had a breakdown over putting on clean bedsheets which turned into a breakdown about being invisibly disabled which turned into a breakdown about the various small seemingly-normal-at-the-time ways my mother fucked me up and inadvertently taught me that 1) I was responsible for her emotional reactions to me even as a kid so it was on me to keep her from yelling at me and 2) the only way to avoid pain/conflict was to never be vulnerable or talk about things that actually mattered to me

some examples:

when she noticed I particularly liked a food she would remove it from the pantry and lock it in her closet so she could dole it out as a reward for doing what she wanted. I caught on to this and stopped talking about my favorite snacks or eating too many of them in front of my parents. this worked too well and they stopped buying more because they thought I didn't like them anymore. I should mention this is about several different foods over a long period of time

any time I asked for something I wanted, she said "yes - if you're good." this would, of course, be her answer forever no matter how "good" I was, until I finally realized that it was just a carrot on a stick and "yes, if you're good" just meant "no" and resolved to get what I wanted on my own (or as my parents liked to put it, "behind our backs"). I had minor success in getting her to quantify "being good" into a concrete set of requirements, but even still, I once asked her point-blank if "if you're good" just meant "when I feel like it," and she said yes. she has some pretty mask-off moments when she's angry. I still hate the word "incentive"

this one's pretty much just a Thing Parents Do, but it's worth mentioning - whenever we fought, she always went straight to taking away my phone (or at least remotely disabling my internet connection and all the apps except for the factory defaults on it). y'know, my sole connection to my friends and the world outside my house. as a young trans guy living with transphobic parents, this was particularly distressing

speaking of my phone, the same parental controls vpn they'd installed on it to do the above also allowed them to see every search term, every website I visited, in real time. and, of course, they could block websites (or, if I had broken their trust recently, block everything that wasn't explicitly whitelisted). goodbye, trevorspace. goodbye, google plus. they could see my texts, too. sometimes my mom would randomly take my phone and when I got it back a couple of contacts would be mysteriously missing (two that spring to mind are my sole irl trans friend at the time, who my parents thought had somehow retroactively transed my gender even though we really only became closer friends when we came out to each other, and the trans lifeline. yeah the suicide hotline). actually, that's how my parents found out I was trans! they caught me taking selfies, something I never did (therefore making it suspicious behavior), and went through my photos and found a ton of trans pride graphics. I had felt confident for once because I was binding with two boho bandeaus, packing with a sock, and hiding most of my hair in a beanie. I was going to come out to them the next week, on my thirteenth birthday. probably would've just ruined my birthday in hindsight

I could rant about my parents' transphobia for days, but I'd rather not. I've done that before and I'm too tired to do it again. this post is mainly just a way of documenting abusive behaviors for next time I tell myself it "wasn't that bad". anyway my mom would regularly rifle through my physical belongings too. I learned not to hide important things in my room

and speaking of my room she would sometimes remove my bedroom and/or bathroom doors for taking too long in the shower and stuff like that. and I had to earn it back by - you guessed it - Being Good™

oh also I should probably mention those times she screamed "you have no privacy" or (at a slightly later date) "we own you" in my face over and over again even when I started crying and begging her to stop. for the crime of complaining that I felt like my privacy was being violated. after a week or so, I felt like I'd cooled down enough to tell her that when she'd yelled "you have no privacy" at me, I felt really hurt. because that's what I was supposed to do, right? that's the diplomatical format they'd told me to voice my complaints in. this led to a second "you have no privacy" incident, same as the first. after one of these incidents, dad was there to mediate, which meant that instead of another screaming match there was a pointless semantic argument over whether she was really yelling "in my face" and exactly what the distance between her and the edge of my bed had been. at least there were no tape measures involved though lol

this brings me to the whole blaming-fights-on-me thing. most fights sprung from either a disagreement between my mother and I about something important (such as my own identity or what I thought was fair) or my struggles to do things my peers could do just fine due to my adhd. I was so bad at getting ready for things on time. even now, on medication, I struggle with daily hygiene. this was very frustrating for my mother, and she often ended up yelling at me. she could say some very unkind things "in the heat of the moment", as she would say. if I yelled back, I was punished. when I tried to express how deeply her words hurt me in an attempt to repair our relationship and get closure and reassurance… she took it personally and the fight started all over again. and I was punished again. this would sometimes result in a chain of related fights over a period of weeks. eventually, my parents told me that if I didn't want to start a fight, I should structure my complaints like so: "when you did x, I felt y." such language would avoid making anyone feel accused or defensive, they said. it made no difference. I used the correct format, shit went down anyway, I was told I should've used the correct format if I didn't want to start a fight, and so on

my therapist at the time (girl I miss u also sorry my mom fired you for trying to convince her to accept my transness) suggested that, when my mother raised her voice at me, I should remain outwardly emotionless and resist the urge to talk back to her or raise my own voice, and see what happens. I tried it once and she called me "a psychopath and a sociopath" for not yelling back. can't win

things really only calmed down because I concluded that asserting myself wasn't worth it. it was safer to go back into the closet and keep my head down for four more years until I was legally my very own person. my mom once said she knew me better than I knew myself. I could only laugh. it's not that I gave up completely, though - I just stopped openly rebelling. I figured out (limited, but lifesaving) ways around the parental controls. I visited trevorspace on my laggy old ipod that wouldn't stay logged in to let my friends there know that I was alive, but wouldn't be able to talk to them anymore. I stole it back a couple times when my mom found and confiscated it. there eventually came a point where her reaction to its suddenly disappearing from her drawer outweighed having it back, but by then the parental controls had become so buggy that I could almost have a normal internet experience. after I turned 18, I finally convinced my parents to allow me to remove it for good (I'd long since figured out that it had a digital tamper alarm). I'm still dependent on them, but I don't have to be secretive anymore, which feels weird. sometimes I boast to them about the extent of the freedom I'd carved out "behind their backs" just for some spiteful pleasure. I think they already knew about most of my exploits with the vpn, they just couldn't do much about it. but I don't tell them everything - I don't want them spying on my online accounts again, and I want to still have a few tricks up my sleeve if things somehow get bad again. they still make me apologize, but it's not like the aftermath of a fight. wow I'm getting off topic

alright so there's also how my mom dealt with my self-harm addiction: not well. she made me promise to stop, and when she discovered that I didn't, she got pissed. she kept telling me how I'd promised her, how betrayed she felt, how could I do this to her… and I was the one who was bleeding. I just felt worse so I (this is becoming repetitive) got better at hiding. funny thing is, almost every time I cut was to calm down after she yelled at me!

another victim-blaming anecdote - one time in 2018-19, I was drying off after a long shower. this consisted of wrapping myself in a towel and sitting on the toilet lid to zone out for half an hour. I had nothing to do that night except climb into bed. what I did not know was that mom was waiting impatiently for me to come out so she could give me my nightly meds. she became more and more frustrated, and ended up berating me through the door. the quote that stuck with me was "even a 2-year-old could get this done faster," which, when I type it out, actually doesn't sound all that scathing. dad came in soon after that. I tried to make them aware of how hurt she had made me feel, I even used the special Fight-Preventing Format, but I was completely ignored in favor of calls to come out of the bathroom and the occasional phone-confiscation threat. I repeated myself a few times, and eventually, she told me that if I didn't want to be insulted, I should've finished drying off sooner. dad was here for all of this and agreed with her. this helped me to realize how complicit the "mediator" was in all this shit. at some point I started crying, and I'd made it clear that I wasn't going to come out while they were out there - which prompted my mother to stage whisper to my father (so loudly I could hear it through the door) her catchphrase at the time: "she's just being manipulative." this did not make me feel any more cooperative

I can't believe I forgot to mention the gaslighting! every time I tried to bring up a time she'd said something that hurt me - even a day later! - she'd act all shocked and say she couldn't imagine ever saying something like that and act like just because she didn't remember it must not have been real. this eventually led me to believe that I was subconsciously making up reasons to hate her, because there were no real reasons to hate her, and I wanted to hate her in the first place because I was actually evil and she was perfect and good. needless to say, this bred a lot of self-loathing. and then an Incident would happen and I would be lucid for like a day and then slip right back into the cognitive dissonance. this happened for about a year when I was 14. I only found out the truth because I found a transcript of one of those fights from directly after it had happened in a google hangouts conversation (with the aforementioned trans friend) that my mom thought I'd deleted but I'd really just archived it. I had also tried to record our fights in the past, but the vpn that took away apps and internet also took the camera function with it. it was practically an abuser's toolkit. anyway this made me feel worse because if she could convince me that I was lying, she could convince anyone, so no one would ever believe me if I told them. instead of having a healthy, balanced worldview about it or something, I just flipped the old one on its head - she was the manipulator trying to control my life and mold me into the child she wanted, and I was the victim struggling to fight back. I'm glad I grew out of that. being so openly full of ire for her just made me look like a brat, and it was no way to live anyhow. I understand now that she genuinely loves me - and that it's exactly that love and worry for me that drove her to do things that hurt me. she thought she was doing what was best for me. unfortunately she didn't think to listen to my opinion or like see me as a full individual separate from herself

ftr her memory is genuinely kinda shitty because of her own adhd but it was awfully consistent in forgetting all the times she's emotionally scarred me. man this post was gonna be a lot shorter but then I started Remembering more Things. there's still more I've thought of but then forgotten while writing something else tho

hold on now I remember. last year she straight-up told me that all this time when I had said I didn't understand something that was "so simple, everyone understands it" she thought I was lying for the express purpose of pissing her off. this… explains a lot

overall I feel like she had an idea of what I should be like and she feels personally slighted whenever I remind her that I'm not the child she wanted

there's more but it's almost 3am and I am so tired I am barely able to type. do you love the color of the vent post

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Gremlin update October 31st 2024

I should be doing these properly again and keeping them shorter T~T

Short for real this time.

3:00 pm

Should have better chronicled the kidney problems in a blog post tbh. [remember me, you do not tolerate loratadine well, it turns out, and can't take a vitamin or a cokey cola daily! Your kidneys are a little slow sometimes and it causes gout and the blood phosphorus/calcium issue and bone pain+ cardiac bullshit]

Last week I did the groceries on Monday and then slept pretty much all week until I had to go out last Monday for another grocery run.

Both times now I have come down with cold symptoms almost immediately after getting home and cleared them within 24 hours.

Not allergy symptoms, decidedly cold, decidedly how I respond to viruses.

I think what's happening is my immune system has reversed to what it used to do when I was a teen and young adult.

Someone would be sick around me and then with no incubation period, like a day, max, I'd be sick with the same thing for another day and then fine. They'd try to argue it couldn't have been the same thing and that I got a "24 hour flu" out of thin air and that somehow I'd get sick with what they had in a week or two... I never did. It was enough of a pattern from puberty onward, and I don't socialize enough at all, to somehow not see the decided pattern. If you stay in your house with zero contact for a month, are around one sick person once and fall ill the next day, it becomes pretty clear how you got it.

I have always been pretty sure this relates to the autoimmune and having excessive allergies and hair trigger immune responses, dialed past 11. Like there is no "incubation" period because my immune system is freaking out over very little virus really immediately, almost like I'm allergic to viruses and not having to take time to learn they are a threat. And because it was so immediate, it was over fast too.

In more recent years after being exposed to something that acted like hanta virus after cleaning up after deer mice, my immune system kept having that same -new- response to every virus I was exposed to, be it cold or flu, so that my upper lungs would fill with congestion so I couldn't fucking breathe and sleep at the same time, but my lungs underneath the band of congestion were clear so doctors wouldn't help me. It was terrible. It became life threatening for me to catch any cold or flu virus at all and no one would help. Like I could not breathe unless I sat awake for 2-3 days and forced the air into my lungs. I understand why people die of that.

And then I almost died of corona virus and the knock-on autoimmune attacks and organ damage. I have been having flare-ups of symptoms in my heart, lungs, liver and kidneys every time I have been re-exposed to corona even just a tiny bit [not enough for corona symptoms or to qualify in any measurable way as re-infection] and which autoimmune symptoms I was experiencing, and how hard, have massively shifted [Pots lets up, thyroid better-ish, seem to have dermatomyositis and kidney involvement now?]. I can't be vaccinated because of this and because I am pretty sure the stroke-like symptoms I got after my last infection were from blood clots and I am certain I am one of the people who would respond to the vaccine with those rare blood clot problems.

But there might be a silver lining here, to having my immune system "reset" about a bunch of stuff.

My body seems to have forgotten the "congest the top of the lungs until we are being squeezed by an elastic band and can only breathe through concerted conscious effort" response... Which might be good actually. Not that I am being exposed to colds and flus with the corona precautions, but imagine responding that way to a virus that's ever-present and super air-born. Yikes.

So, seemingly, the virus levels are at such an all time high that I think even an hour in the grocery store, with 2 masks that seal to my face, first thing Monday morning at open, was somehow enough to expose me to enough virus to set off my very eager and angry immune system.

But instead of being slammed with a bunch of autoimmune symptoms [other than my eyelids peeling horridly again] I have "had a cold" for a day each and then been fine. At leas in the short term, no idea what long term effects this is having. My eyelids keep peeling. My immune system is NOT PLEASED, also not murdering any particular organ too quickly, but definitely not pleased [my skin is getting older looking again?? the wrinkles had reversed but now there's this softness like when skin sags a little??].

And I expected to spend this week even more exhausted and unable to cook or clean much, but by yesterday I was cooking for myself again. It's technically just barely Thursday and I am optimistic about getting some serious cleaning done in time to recover for Monday.

I still can't breathe freely outside my apartment but this is a good sign for my survival if I keep doing what I am doing... And nothing goes wrong...

...

So the smell. The smell I thought was coming from my bedding? That really kind of manly stress sweat smell I was blaming on sweat that was not getting washed often enough out of the bedding? I should have realized was not my bedding on account of the lack of old crayon skin oil smell [meaning the oil isn't old]...

It's just my armpits. Between showers. They just smell like that now.

Whatever hormonal shift is happening at 36 and onward that shrank the breast tumours to nothing... Is making me smell like a man. A stressed man.

I mean yes, I have PCOS but I also have suspected I have a partial androgen insensitivity , and maybe some more complicated hormone disorder, after a very weird puberty and a lot of hair compared to my mother and sister, who also get cysts [My poor sister also has PCOS is actually diagnosed, but still can't grow eyebrows and never got any height out of it :(]... My main problem was the cysts, really. I wish I had kept the voice I was starting to develop at like 14 [it got freakishly deep for a week]...

But I am way too young for menopause! So either my left ovary was hard to find in the last scan -if they found it- because it has murdered itself and the cyst they found on the right did a lot of damage... And it's all a cysts thing... Or something else is causing a massive hormonal overhaul.

I mean on one hand gender euphoria. On the other, I still don't have facial hair and now I smell like an unfamiliar man -_-

I'll get used to it.

Despite this though, I still have yet more baby hairs filling in on my scalp. Whatever was causing the extreme hair loss doesn't seem to have been a shift in hormones as much as maybe my organ health?

Well if your doctor won't let you transition maybe your body will just miracle itself more masculine?

I'm waiting for my finger and toe hair to grow back in. Where is my darker lip hair?

~*~

November 1st

2:15 am

On basically a nocturnal schedule for however long that lasts. Today did not look hopeful but then I ate some sugary jellies, and some steak and some more mango rice and now I have done half the cleaning I had been putting off each day for like 2-3 months. The cleaning I have been struggling to do most of or past of since my last big blog post because of how sick I got.

Floor is 90% clean, it just needs re-sweeping after it dries, dishes are done except some cat dishes, laundry is down to one load. And I need to clean out the litter boxes so everything can go out later this morning.

Then I will be caught up on the "for now" organizing, the cleaning/chores and be on a good schedule for at least finishing fall groceries before December.

So long as I don't get sick I will be good. I can hibernate in here for winter and get to more downsizing after I recover some.

~*~

4:00 am

Litter boxes cleaned out, toilet cleaned, bathroom floor wiped down once... Think I might finish up the dishes. Then all I really have to do is laundry, or keeping up really because there's just my current clothes and current dishes etc now, while I am finishing the groceries.

I have also showered. My hair has grown in just enough to be how I like it.

I'll need to move a couple bins of tools soon so I can put the jar and canned goods away where they go for winter.

~*~

5:10 am

Well I did the last dishes again, set the laundry to agitate again, etc...

If I get more pep in me before Monday I might just get the freezers up onto their new casters so I can easily wheel them around to clean under them and between them.

I don't want to push it this year to doing more than one grocery run in a week due to high virus levels. My body is going to have a full week to recover in between and even some vitamins, because I really can't risk actually getting re-infected.

And on the bright side that means if I have any energy left on the 6 other days of the week I can use it to stay caught up and start chipping away at other problems.

Now I just have to stay awake until at least 9 ish with a belly full of rice and steak, but on the bright side the kitchen being entirely clean means I'm way more likely to cook for myself properly.

~*~

5:40 am

I paid my rent and bills too, but my phone battery ran down to 1% from 9 while I was doing it despite that it shows as plugged in and charging. It has shown as charging for hours now but instead of gaining any charge it just keeps losing power. The screen is dying inside, it's possible I will have to rush out to replace it. I can't be without a phone.

Okay, I say that like I say "I can't just move out to the woods because even if I had room to grow food for myself I would still need to be close to doctors and a hospital"... But really when have they helped? How often does even calling ambulance accomplish anything for me, really? Have I not shown the capacity to walk a city away on occasion if I need to?

Whatever the point is I can't leave myself without the capacity to make an emergency call.

Stupid thing is sitting here at 1% refusing to take a charge, but at least I got my rent paid before it died completely and left me without a way to contact my landlord?

I figured I'd need a new phone in the coming year, but it looks like I might need a new phone in time for my birthday.

~*~

November 3rd

1:50 am

I was almost very sad when I thought it was already Smonday, but it's still just Satunday U.U

Don't know if I am doing my shopping Monday or Tuesday mornings for a while. I want to avoid the end of the week or doing them more than once a week or on days I already don't feel well. There's also remembrance day on the 11th and the store might not have regular hours.

I've been using a calendar for ONCE in my life for the past half year, which hasn't amounted to much but it has made me not go out when the stores are closed since I started leaving the calendar up next to my head.

I still have the kind of ADHD where I won't remember to look at the calendar unprompted but the fear of getting there only to realize the shops are closed seems to be external prodding enough. Now.

I still want to get 3 grocery runs and a $tore trip in this month.

The phone is good. This phone is the experience I should have been having in early 2020 when I was forced to replace my phone last time only to have it break within 2-3 days due to infuriating fucking circumstances and sabotage. This phone is my birthday present IG.

IG my only complaint is a game I got used to playing on android is actually an ipad game that I think isn't bothering to support android users anymore. It says it does but it isn't int he app store?

I got the last load of backed up laundry done and hanging now and the first of 2-3 loads collected from around the apartment for stuff due to be washed is in. I am thinking one more load for my current clothes towels and 2 robes and then another for all my sheets.

At some point I am going to cut my giant duvet into quarters that can be washed separately. I'll hem the new edges and if I want it to be a full blanket again I can sew it back together later, for now the concern is having it be washable in my apartment, because I use it folded in quarters as a mattress topper.

Not to jinx it but other than the tidy stack of too much stuff in the middle of my apartment and the global plague, everything is going well enough and according to plan? Ig.

~*~ November 4th

11:00 am

Slept till my noon-ish, and get out a bit earlier that usual, got to the store 5 minutes before open and was done by around 20 minutes after opening. Had to have done good on the not being exposed to much virus that way deal. Bought an obscene amount of canned goods. Only had one bag to put away in the fridge or freezer.

Now I am set up to spend the week here organizing and spot cleaning a bit more and getting the can put away, and not having to deal with something like having to run out again before I am ready because of some situation with my phone.

I can take my leisurely time with the next load of laundry and have my clothes dry for next week. The store didn't have special hours posted. I forgot to ask staff but I am assuming they have normal hours. I should try calling. I might put that trip off till Muesday, just so I don't risk getting there literal hours before they open. Got 2 trips left and then one $tore trip and then it's hibernation time.

~*~

November 10th

Eugh, I don't want to do more groceries T~T

I got my canned goods put away and the tool buckets at least moved out of the way to put them in there. I keep tool buckets in there over the summer to keep pumpkin out of my storage space under the bed.

I have 1-2 more grocery trips to complete and a dollarstore run and a walmart trip, and then I am done for the year. Probably not doing the groceries this week till Tuesday so I can just skip remembrance day with it's uncertain hours.

If I manage to get the rest of what I need in one trip I'll be done by the end of November, if not then the first week of December. I will have to take some money back out of savings, but only 1k this time, and like last winter I'll be putting all my money after rent and bills back into savings all winter.

I can't wait to get back to focusing on downsizing. I want it done so bad. My fingers are itching to throw some stuff away even, after spending all year thinking about it.

I also started writing another fic to get back into practice before I decide what to write on stream. This time it's x-men with "werewolves", but like the werewolves are all original people/characters, not existing characters [so overdone, leave Logan and the fuzzy boys and the changeling alone, let them be the ones experiencing a werewolf in their lives]. Again it's something I am probably writing for personal emotional processing and might never post. If I do post it, it'll be after I read all the comics ever to make sure the characterization is more on point than from just watching the shows and reading some of the comics because the movie characterization is largely not what I am going with. I did watch all the different cartoon series so far though, even the really short-lived stuff and re-watching evolution which I also consider an outlier. Are there x-men novels? I'd like to see those too tbh.

I don't know what the next fic or fiction is that I'll work on to post publicly. I don't have enough shame to stop me from posting the personal stuff, but I also don't get the sense that it would appeal to anyone except me anyway.

I think I am back on a daytime schedule because I have been sleeping most of the day but also until 4 am and I just need to be awake for a bit because even if I am tired, sleeping this much is starting to make me feel insane.

~*~

November 12th

10:40 am

I tried to do a big enough trip this time to not have to go back for groceries again, and I fucking... A front wheel on the cart snapped off.

My tomatoes also fell out and spilled everywhere like 4 different times, including in the store where other people helped pick them up. Like yeah I'm going to be washing them in soap regardless and probably blanching them in boiling hot water as I do with produce these days, but they were fucking married to bailing on repeat. The floor, floor, the sidewalk, the sidewalk, the floor again.

How did I get the cart the rest of the way home? Supported half the wight so I could roll it on the back wheels. FML

Now I am just hoping I can get replacement wheels at walmart online

I still need corn starch, salt, poppy seeds and baking soda for the winter but like, not so desperately as to need another grocery trip, since they will probably* be at walmart or the dollarstore and if not, fuck it.

Just fuck it, I do not care.

~*~

November 25th 2024

Okay. So...

I did the dollarstore trip on my birthday and was fucking reminded that I can't be carrying 200$ worth of shopping home in bags, JFCOAC like that wasn't obvious.

Then my mom texted me that the photos of ID aren't enough unless I sign and witness a form and she still needed my SIN. I re-researched what can actually be done with someone's sin and decided to give it to her for her pension forms, but -as I did not want it sitting in the text convo for all to see forever more- I anticipated that phone call going bleakly.

I felt bad putting it off because I know my mother is an anxious person, I anticipated her being pissed at me for not handling it right away, or for having peculiar boundaries/instructions about it [call me with the papers in hand and only write it there]... But mostly I felt bad because I thought she'd probably be stressing about getting the forms in on time the entire bloody way...

And then it the fuck occurred to me that the only reason I was putting it off was because my mother had made me so anxious about talking to her on the phone that I was putting off important legal documentation that I had already made a decision about for half a week... And that it was probably on her, and not my place to feel bad about it.

Whatever, she did as expected and used the call as an excuse to just strike up conversation, but she didn't nag at me or blame me for anything, she was just her usual self on calls... Overlooks the significance of anything I manage to get in edgewise, tells me about her life without leaving me room to tell her about mine, and then "has to go"... She at least acknowledged that it was up to me whether I wanted to call her back again, as I had only broken the no contact to give her what she needed for her cpp.

Tbh I'm kind of pissed she waited till my birthday to "oh by the way I still need your sin because nothing else will do despite what the website says" She should know by now that this kind of security relevant decision stresses me out, and that I'd be stressed about having to talk to her, and -particularly- that I'd be anticipating the usual tantrum I get when something happens in her life and I don't fix it fast enough for her liking. Maybe wait till after my birthday? Maybe tell me the week before? It's like the one day a year I'm almost guaranteed to have plans WITH MYSELF alone at home where I don't want to be stressed out. [I decided a long time ago that birthday is ME day, okay? It's self care day. I don't have friends irl to get pissed about that.]

She's moved out somewhere rural near where the rest of the family lives. Apparently prices are even higher there [7-8$ for butter as opposed to 5-6$]. Apparently my dad helped her move. So glad they can all cooperate and help her instead of leaving me to do it all. She got what she wanted, I think she's living with my sister. She kept harping on about wanting to live with one of us, and just wouldn't accept that it wouldn't be me. I hope they don't tear into each other.

...

Today I did the walmart run but apparently my bank lied about my daily spending limit being lifted, because I had to put one credit card back. I still have one to finish my shopping online, and I got a pot for cheaper in the store... But if I anticipate needing to spend more that 500$ this winter, I need to go back for another later this week.

Other than that I am good. Good and tucked in for the season. Hopefully till May since I got a later start on winter this year.

Thinking I might take some walks after January out to local geographical features that everyone else will have abandoned for winter, for fresh air, but I am not sure if that will make my ankle injury come back, it doesn't like me walking in the cold. I don't usually leave my house for about 5-6 months at all, but maybe I'll stick my head out this time.

Might have also found a service that will pick up "donations" of an unspecified variety at my door, so that might really help me downsize over winter without having to go anywhere.

Met a Raven on my way out from the store, it was making a noise from the roof that I thought was one of the gentler bird deterring noises, but it sounded way too close. Was a raven right over head. I imitated the call and we had a nice little chat for a hot minute. So my week is made, my month, whatever the universe says happy birthday. Love big black bird. Had no seeds on me :(

I want to go back to sleep.

At least when I get back from walks my apartment doesn't smell bad so much as vaguely like food.

This does solve the whole "I need to be at home for deliveries, but I have to leave to buy supplies" that was left over after the last episode. I can get the other card and then chill here and order whatever I need to all winter. I did have to take 1k out to get the cards, but I can put it back in like a week, I just did not want to be shopping on black friday and cyber monday weekend etc... With that exception I haven't had to dip into savings to do my fall shopping this year, and I only had 3 or so cans left from last year and a few bottles of condiments. I have now frozen the condiments till I need them, and will use up those few cans first. That means that last year's 'winter' shopping actually reduced costs through the whole next year, and I have a fall season to check all my canned goods and actually switch out everything I have on reserve and/or actually keep track of what I actually need. Nothing has gone bad o me yet.

So ig I have one more errand and then I am taking a moth to clean and chill out, and then I get back to sweeping organization and downsizing and see how far I get by spring.

Then this list:

Glue the one drawer from the dresser that pulled apart [because 1-2 drawers were never glued by me to begin with because they *seemed* to be holding in one piece too well] & put the pulls on it

Get the electronics tote organized and downsized

Call the electronics disposal service

Get the things I am giving away gone and out of the apartment

make ramp [for spring, haha, late]

Re-upholster arm chair

remake cat stand into cat stand/window bench

remake plant rack

shelf over sink

Re-downsize 'out' stack of totes

Fall groceries 2024

[billg00n]

🪷 What's your self-insert or F/O like? Do you think they'd be seen as naturally compatible? -folgers-offical

im a bit more awake now

their dynamic is kind of like "guy who was insane turning normal x guy who looks normal that is actually a little fucked up"

my bill is a post-theraprism bill, so he's less deranged, yknow? he's like "wow, that was really bad. i sure learned my lesson! also i should find someone who is normal to keep me in line- hey, that janitor looks like a pretty average joe!"

g00n, themselves, are still dealing with the knowledge that they essentially pulled their own "euclydia incident," and has been trying to hide that from bill (he already knows. its bill, come on) nothing happened actually. aside from that, theyre very good at hiding how goddamn weird they are. theyre like... the most normal guy in the world.

bill teaches g00n how to let their anger out through pretend violence instead of vengeful violence. for example, if g00n is pissed, bills like "hey! next time you're cleaning something, pretend you're damning a small civilization to it's death!" or "pretend you're the dangerous thing in the woods outside your house!"

g00n teaches bill how to deal with his mischievous impulses by stealing (ethically)(thats also why he dresses like a street magician that scams people). sees something he wants thats he thinks is way too overpriced? its going in his pockets. he wants to see how shitty a movie is? he'll walk right in; he doesnt give a shit, tickets are over priced anyways. overhears g00n complaining about a $60 game having $30 dlc that adds next to nothing? and theres no available crack for it???? he'll find a way

so i guess uh..... they cant make each other worse

plus, theyre apparently jus' kinda really cute together??? ill have to post my art n stuff, i keep forgetting to do that.

[sleepyselkiesims]

Part 49

Time for yet another family trip to the library!!

You know the drill by now.

As a child, Attina had gone skateboarding with Aunt Janelle. Now, it was Snow White's turn!

You're doing great!

As a study spot, the library made homework significantly quicker and easier, so for most of the kids it wasn't a fun trip.

The dad of the house managed both fun and work assignments! And from a place he could keep an eye on his kids!

Um.... Hi? Totally didn't think this random blonde kid was one of mine... even though mine specifically wear winter hats to fake-match the movie.

Why does this random librarian look more like Attina's dad than her actual dad.

Whatever Snow White was trying to explain to Moss, it was not as interesting as the sims behind them who could've easily been part of the Queen family as well.

Ah, now that sure is familiar!

Lark ditched the homework to detail plans about how she and her alien friend were going to take over the planet. Christopher tried to explain that aliens do better at world domination when they've learned lots of stuff.

CHRIS NO YOU PHYSICALLY CANNOT!! WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE BE STOPPED!!

Then came the cue that it was time to leave! From the only person who hadn't done homework...

Actually, Moss hadn't even brought his homework book. But he seemed to be working through something emotionally, so the benevolent god let it slide.

To everyone's shock, Sage got an invite to Lia's house! You know, Lia Landgraab?

Sage did not in fact remember Lia Landgrab, as she hadn't been paying attention at the time. She wasn't sure what they'd talked about before, but maybe if she acted like they were close good friends it would be ok!

Yep, great job, Sage.

Oh, wait that actually worked!

Aaaahhh, I think I see why Lia called Sage here, and where this is going...

Oop, never mind! Chris' dad senses were tingling.

Back home, Sage's twin, Thyme, was trying to get her start as a simfluencer.

But man was it hard to look good when you had six siblings hogging the bathrooms and yelling that you take too long.

And then mama commandeers the kitchen, and you gotta make sure she actually follows the recipe 'cause you're a bit of a perfectionist, so uhh... good luck with the simfluencer career.

Snow was halfway through cleaning up after herself, when a familiar crackling noise from long ago reached her ears...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[andrxsmartys]

Andy smiled at his wife. He had liked her from the first moment he saw her. He had wanted to become friends with her. It was a blessing that she was friends with Lucy because she was always around the Hewitt clan since the grandmother's were friends. "At that point he basically was my father." Andy's tone was melancholy. To say he missed his dad and grandfather was an understatement. "I was very guarded back then. I still am. But not with you. You broke down that wall a long time ago. I always felt like I could trust you. I don't know why that was but it just was." He kissed her finger. "You are my favorite person. I never want anyone else."

"Our boy definitely has some of you in him too. Even if it does manifest more in his personality than anything. He's got your giant heart and your optimism." He smiled at his wife at hearing her admit it won't do any good to stress about the opinions of others. "Questa è la mia ragazza. Non preoccuparti di lei o delle sue opinioni. Ehi, ho un'idea, vuoi ascoltarla?"

"Baby, it's partially my fault that you're having the emotions. How unfair would it be to get you pregnant, which only heightens your emotions, and then ne annoyed by it? That would be as bad as me getting annoyed at your cravings." He could also mention the many trips to the bathroom, the way she tossed and turned, and wore his clothes. But it was all short lived. Well, except the clothes. And to be completely honest, he loved her too much to ever be annoyed by her sweet little quirks, pregnancy related or not. "I will talk to him. I'm about to ban him from doing the dishes all together with how he won't listen to me about putting the mugs away. I know he's just trying to help. But there are other ways he can be helpful, like cleaning the bathrooms since he keeps leaving stuff on the floors."

He laughed and shook his head. "No not right away. He waited a couple days. I'm sure he was talking to Nana and Mami about what to include and if I was ready. You know there was e a whole family meeting. They were probably trying to decide whether to include JC too." He was about to admit something he'd never admitted to his wife in the years they'd been together. "So, about that. Pops mainly just covered the basics of how it's done. But he did tell me that it's necessary to make sure that the wokaht is happy. He said that every woman expressed that happiness in a different way. Some sigh, some make noise. So anyway, I turned to the good old library and hit up the Cosmo magazines to get ideas for things to do. You know back then if we'd searched for it it would've just turned up porn." So while their first time had been good, he couldn't completely say it was the talk pops gave him. Instead it was the talk and then the hours of research. As they continued to have make out sessions he would try some of the new tricks he was learning in the touch department to start to get an idea of what she liked and what she didn't.

"Mind-blowing is an accurate description. I'm glad that we learned with each other and that we didn't take what we learned with each other to a different venue." He wasn't kidding when he said he never wanted another woman. His wife was his absolute perfect match. He'd learned with her and he didn't want to then go find a different flavor to try." He shook his head. "That poor tree house. I can build one here. Could be a fun project for me a Gael. We could work on it in the garage over the winter and then put it up on the tree when it thaws out. Would give him a place that is just his when the babies arrive. And we can decorate his for Christmas, Dia de los muertos, his birthday, and any other holiday but he's not allowed to take a girl in there for a long time." Knowing how they'd used the treehouse he didn't want his son's doing the same for a long time.

"Do you want me to check right now or after naptime?" He was excited to see what the gifts were but he didn't want to leave her side of she didn't want him to. He knew she'd see the childlike excitement on his face as he tried to figure out what she'd bought him.

"You know, most would think that was a joke but it's not. There was always a pull to each other. When we first met there was something there. It was innocent at first because we didn't know anything else but I swear seeing you in the yard with that long ass hair of yours in your pops arms who I thought was your dad at the time, I found you interesting. Just like I did luce when I first met her. You had an aura about you. Warm yet distant but it wasn't like you'd be standoffish." The memory washed over and made a smile appear on her face. "We promised forever and there's no way either of us are breaking that. You're stuck with us." Her nose scrunched up a little as she gave hid chin another kiss and index finger went to his slight dimple. "I love how you love and I've been absolutely and insanely in love with you ever since."

She laughed and covered her mouth with his shoulder but he could tell her by her body shaking that the comment had tickled her. "But mine are artificially slapped on with mascara. You boys have it naturally." She looked down to their son and caressed his hair. "Just like our baby has your long eyelashes." Blinking her eyes and the tears away she listened to his words and nodded. He knew how rein her back in and see the good side of something. Gave her something positive to focus on. "hai ragione, tesoro. Lo so e lo yogi è ancora in un mondo delirante, quindi immagino che mi sia divertito a buttare giù qualcun altro. ci è voluto molto tempo prima che le ragazze arrivassero e so che stressarsi non è d'aiuto. non possiamo permetterci di stressarci ulteriormente."

She nudged and nuzzled into his thumb and closed her eyes. Andy had provided her a sense of serenity ever since she was little. Every touch, gentle caress was made with love. A gesture she knew he always wanted to convey to her. "I love you too. Thank you for dealing with my emotions and not letting them annoy you. Can we also possibly do something about jc and the plates placement and for him not to dry the plates right after washing them. Two things that have irked me lately and I know it's not the pregnancy since he did that when we lived together. Please."

She giggled and nodded. "I was so serious. I had claimed you right then and there but I didn't know he gave you the talk right that day. As soon as I left? Glad you didn't let the disgusting parts of sex turn you off. Though that was a hell of a talk if you came out of the gate hitting all the spots immediately." There was something in the water when it came to men in this family. Every woman had a mind blowing experience they kept stored in their memory.

"We were but we learned together. Went through it together and didn't let the awkward take over because it got so much better. Mind blowing even. I miss your treehouse. Wish we'd have one here. My favorite was when we decorated it with Christmas lights. Shared our first everything there. Glad that one date was a thumbs down. Can't imagine not having you to myself." While snuggling she remembered something. "Oh! You need to check out the closet. There's a present for you. I know it's early for your birthday. Its not for another two months but this one is a special gift."

[lifesfeelings]

Roommates PT. II

So, my last post just kinda ended up being a post of trying to keep any semblance of my confidence lol! but there's also a lot more to these roommates so far. First, I want to say that I generally kinda like them though. I bashed them a lot, and there is some other bad, but generally they seem like decent guys so far. When the two engineers get together they just talk two each other and about how they're "so nerdy" but individually or if its one of the engineers and the stats roommate, it's been pretty cool. and I thought they'd shame me for being such a heavy smoker and drinker because they all said they don't do any of that, but so far? They've been pretty cool. My favorite so far will drink a beer like every night or other night, and me, him, and the stats major all went outside and shared a bowl last night! So, idk? They're kind pretentious but smoking with them felt like a first step and it felt like nice bonding here in this first week together haha! Another bad thing though? They're shit at cleaning anything, but I also think it's really too early to tell. The state of the house was an unfair assessment (which I'll get into in my next post), and the stats major seems to be good about keeping up with dishes and stuff too, so hopefully it won't be as bad as I think. Idk. I think I just have adjusting to do. Living at home, I think I just was used to everything being mine and stuff, but now I'm getting used to sharing a space with someone that's not my family and it's bizarre. Like they want to share everything that we buy (like detergent and stuff) and buy communal groceries, but I'm finding it hard. I feel like a five year old trying to learn how to share lol! It's just hard because I want to buy the groceries that I want to eat. It's kinda just selfishness and I need to just learn how to live with roommates, but I just feel like most things aren't shareable and I want to buy the groceries I want to eat and be able to eat the whole thing if I want, ya know? Idk, sharing groceries is just a bizarre concept to me. I just feel like I've been bad at and been having a hard time with assimilating into a group with these three...

09.08.2023

[latenightartist-author]

A Lovely Nightmare 

Chapter 2

Pairing: NBC Hannibal Lector x Reader

Summary: Y/n was a consultant with the FBI she was an informant. she learned a little about a lot. She Is asked to consult on The Chesapeake Ripper case when she was targeted by a copy-cat of the ripper. Will introduces her to Doctor Lecter. They become intrigued by each-other. Soon after meeting Dr. Lecter the copy-cat ripper makes an attempt to kill her and puts her in the hospital. Jack suggest she stay with Dr. Lecter and everything goes down hill for Y/n.

WARNING: Murder, Blood, implied cannibalism, gun shots, abuse, alcohol, violence, language, and assault

Chapter 2: Dinner

Y/n set the silverware and plates on the table in Hannibal's dining room. Once a month Y/n and Hannibal would have dinner together they would switch who makes dinner this month it was Hannibal's turn. They had started this routine shortly after Y/n stopped being his 'patient' The night would always go she showed up at his office before he'd leave on a Friday. They'd go to either her apartment or his house.

If it was her apartment it would be a meal like a casserole or something she couldn't screw up. Hannibal would offer to help but she would hand him a champagne glass and let him pick whatever wine, champagne, or other drink he wanted. He'd set the table and they'd eat and talk about the month.

if it was his house it was an elegant dinner. They'd go to his house and as soon as she was inside he'd take her coat and hang it up then start on dinner while Y/n sets the table then she'd come in the kitchen and he'd give her a wine glass that usually contained water or whatever wine she picked. He'd finish making dinner and they'd eat and talk.

Now normally when Hannibal cooked he would serve the type of meat in his diet to his guests but he never had with Y/n. Hannibal didn't have many friends but she was one of the few. He knew she was former CIA and that the FBI didn't like her so part of keeping her around was insurance. He knew if the FBI or CIA were looking into him they'd go to her first then she'd tell him about it.

Tonight Hannibal was making spaghetti. Y/n came into the kitchen and sat at the island where he was cutting up some parsley looking stuff. Hannibal reached behind him and handed a wine glass to her. Y/n smiled at him as she took the glass.

"You didn't want Will knowing we know each other." He sated not looking up from his work, "Is there a reason for that?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"After everything the FBI put you through I suppose not I just find it odd," Hannibal glanced at her, "You're working with them again?"

"Yes, Jack wants my help on the Chesapeake Ripper case. I doubt it will ever be solved. He's very clever and clean. Jack thinks I can help because Will can think like a serial killer and I-" she stopped remembering she had said that to Zeller and may have scared him.

"You can kill like one," Hannibal said finishing her thought. Hannibal stirred the pasta, "Have you run into Agent Holsin again yet?" Agent Holsin was an FBI agent that Y/n had dated years ago. She had broken up with him though Hannibal's advice. Y/n looked at her drink.

"No. I'm too sober to think about him right now. No one in the FBI or CIA knows about that so if Jack calls on you for help don't bring it up."

Hannibal nodded as he finished making the spaghetti. He brought it out to the table along with a bottle of vodka. Y/n followed him with a small basket of garlic bread. He set the food down then pulled out Y/n's chair for her.

"So, You are looking for this copycat tomorrow?"

"Yeah I gave to go ask some sex workers if they've ever seen anyone hanging around that is odd. Aside from the creepy customers they have. Enough about my depressing call to action. Will is your patient?"

"Yes and no. Jack wants me to keep an eye on will and assess his mental state."

"So it's more of so he doesn't become Fredricks patient type of thing?"

"yes...you just call Dr. Chilton by his first name." Hannibal and Dr. Chilton were colleagues. They got along most of the time but not when it came to Y/n. Now Hannibal wasn't jealous by any means he just didn't like the thought that the general administrator for Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane was basically Y/n psychiatrist at this point. In all reality Y/n just saw Fredrick as a friend who assesses the murderous mentally unstable.

Y/n looked at Hannibal over her wine glass seeing the look of disapproval in his eyes. She knew that when it came to her they didn't get along. every time the three were together she would attempt to get her boys, as she called them, to just relax. Fredrick and her were not as close as she had Hannibal believe but she found the irritation the belief caused very amusing.

"Hannibal, he is my friend not my doctor. Plus if your concerned they'll lock me up just know if they were gonna send me to that place they would have years ago."

After they had eaten and y/n helped him clean up. She headed out to her car and drove home for the night. In the morning she headed down to the area of town most of the night girls were in. She asked the any of the sex workers willing to talk to her if they had seen anything most described a law enforcement type of man but she expected that. Too many cops she knew condemned these people but after the sun went down could be caught enjoying their 'company.'

While Y/n was questioning the sex workers she was unaware that the copycat was watching her from the top of an apartment building. She had his full attention and interest but didn't know it yet. She would very soon though...

[tg-headcanons]

yooo whats up, pls tell me more about how Naki fares with being a part of the Tsukiyama fam. Something tells me he'd be less than good at it, especially with manners. They'd be like "who let this fucking raccoon with immaculate eyeshadow into our upper-cass family?"

This bastard is gonna have the biggest culture shock

Shuu’s family never had any doubts that his partner would be extraordinary, whether by place in society or sheer wit, so you can imagine their surprise when he brings home fucking Naki

When he first arrives at their mansion to get to know the family, they think he’s a fine gentleman, look at his makeup and little suit. This lasts exactly five seconds before he tries to climb a large house plant and brings the whole thing down

He’s the opposite of refined. He may dress in a suit, but that’s because it’s his only clothes. His eyeshadow is made of magazine ink, he mispronounced everyone’s names, and he eats savagely even for a ghoul. The Tsukiyamas are some of the few ghouls who learn to use utensils, so Mirumo assumed he’d be using his hands like most, but that was giving him too much credit because he just held the meat in place and ripped at it like a wild animal

The servants are confused, Kanae is confused, his father is confused. Once they all got Naki distracted with a laser pointer, Mirumo and Kanae called Shuu into a room to basically ask “is this your man? Are you sure?” He insists that yes, he’s sure, he’s the one. Kanae was surprised that Mirumo didn’t push back. He knows the man wants his son the be happy but come on, this guy?

They tried their best to refine Naki, they really did. The servants tried to get him some new clothes but he tried to stab one when the texture was bad. They tried to get him to speak a few words of French but he mispronounced them painfully. The best they could do was teach him to read very slowly, eat with his hands instead of his face, and stop pronouncing Kanae’s name as “Connor.” Kanae still doesn’t like him much, but has been asked to stop threatening him for his weird behaviors since it keeps almost escalating to fights

There are some things he does take to. He likes to be clean so he’s well kept, he likes to do makeup and now has actually makeup, not just stuff he made out of garbage, and will usually listen when Shuu tells him it do something with minimal complaining

He absolutely vibes with Chie though. He does so much crazy bullshit that she can photograph, and she he lives off of the praise she gives him for being a good subject. She also likes that he has no filter and will tell her anything, anything, about Shuu that she can make fun of him for

[inafieldofdaisies]

Crazy Love (2022) | 크레이지 러브

it's RANT TIME again

(Possible spoilers ahead if you haven't seen the episodes that are out, but I need to vent my frustration with the show & its writing)

The plot: Crazy Love tells the love story of Noh Go-jin (Kim Jae-wook), the CEO of GOTOP which is South Korea top math institute, pretending to have amnesia after receiving death threats, and Lee Shin-ah (Krystal Jung), Go-jin's introvert and quiet secretary, who doesn't have much time left. Shin-ah later pretends to be the fiancé of Go-jin knowing he has amnesia.

NOTE: These are my thoughts up to Episode 8, I might do a follow-up if things get better or (I hope not) worse.

I'm gonna start by saying, I actually like Lee Shin-ah as a character, the moment she told off Noh Go-jin at his house (onions and all) was epic (bonus points for the potatoes scene), I love all the scenes with her family and her best friend. I like her development as a whole, how she slowly accepted her "fate" and tried to make amends. The scenes with her father legit made me cry.

The fact the show went in the "wrong diagnosis" direction didn't shock me at all, though I still don't know how to feel about it (regarding her realizing stuff, the watcher being hit with the emotional aspect of it all and then Shin-ah being told: "oops, wrong patient, sorry, you're gonna live"). I generally avoid watching heartbreaking shows with sad endings, but I'm starting to think it might have worked for this one, instead of doing the obvious "ah, someone messed up", now you're in big trouble for thinking you're dy!ing.

What keeps truly bugging me is... Go-jin's character.

It's so infuriating how petty and annoying he acts like 98% of the time, 1% is flashbacks of his tragic past, the rest consist of poor attempts to show he "cares" and "feels a feeling". I'm so over tragic past being used as an excuse for douchey, abusive and unredeemable behaviour, especially when his "baggage" and current actions contradict themselves. So many characters have tragic backstories and they don't pull such childish moves.

Things that stuck out to me as contradictions or just being so frustrating:

Example 1: Go-jin tells the audience at a presentation that he has tragic past, how he almost died of hunger, how his grandma took care of him after he became an orphan ---> Go-jin proceeds to throw away food like it's a sport ---> us being shown how they had no food when he was young with g-ma ---> Go-jin throws away some more food (wanting to throw away potatoes because they'd make his ride to town uncomfy and "dirty" his car - pls, there was NO DIRT, you drama llama), then makes Shin-ah run around and cook for him multiple meals which he then gives up on without eating.

You'd think he would appreciate food more considering his childhood trauma, at least stop wasting perfectly fine food, ffs...

Example 2: Comparing global warming & Earth going to hell (animals dy!ng, people starving, temps raising with 1 degree) to HIS COFFEE being at the wrong temperature with 1 degree. Like please. There's narcissistic and then there is this...

Example 3: Go-jin seeming completely oblivious as to why people might want him dead, not realizing how he behaves takes a tow on all of his employees. At least have him be self-aware he's a douche.

Example 4: Go-jin sh!ts on Shin-ah efforts to become a teacher & humiliates her in front of an auditorium full of people when his ex literally met him when she was learning to become one too.

Example 5: Go-jin literally started as a cleaner, he worked hard to have a successful company, now that he's on top he doesn't greet the cleaning lady & doormen at his building and bullies Shin-ah for fun.

Example 6: Why he started to hate Shin-ah initially according to him (that was just wow...): she came to her first day of work and interrupted his READING. (like Lord, really dude, really?) He's so mad about it, he remembers the exact time down to the seconds. Psychotic much.

Example 7: Blackmailing Shin-ah into staying his secretary/being his housekeeper (*cough* slave) by threatening to make sure her hard-working father (a man that gave him his treasured potatoes and was nothing but nice to him) loses his farm, SAYING HOW HE'S OLD SO THAT STRESS MIGHT KILL HIM so she should warn him ahead of time. (but guys, he has tragic past...) Saying a father should pay for his daughter's faults. Telling her things would end bloody if she reveals he's faking everything while he plays detective.

Example 8: Dancing out of happiness he's bullying Shin-ah successfully (yeah, after #7 and 8, I don't care how much he's gonna end up "falling in love" with her, there should be a limit to the awfulness coming from a HERO).

Example 9: Go-jin realizing Shin-ah must have been scared after losing her mom when she was young. (shocker, dude, shocker) And how the parallels between his childhood and hers didn't make a difference in how he treats her so far.

Example 10: Blaming Shin-ah for him eating a ton of onions because he was too dedicated to playing detective and refused to break character.

I get they wanted to have a hero that's bossy, a perfectionist, yada yada. You can still write a character like that without making him as unlikable as possible and only throwing breadcrumbs of him "attempting" to not be a heartless weirdo.

*the amount of times I thought she should have given him more toilet water to drink. One glass doesn't seem enough of revenge after seeing the stuff he pulls later on.*

I had such high hopes for this drama, but I'm almost at my limit of seeing a hero use the heroine as his personal doormat 24/7.

[undergrounddweller89]

(look you don't have to like this, I'm not expecting anyone to, I just needed to write and if there's the possibility that even one person was hoping I'd write more and enjoys it then that's cool, just don't be a dick about it, it's more house mate au stuff, don't hope for continuity by that I mean it's just all over the place and nothing makes sense , just expect what ever came to my head at the time lol)

Walter was sat at his work table, fiddling with one of his new devices working on to perfect it, no I can't think of anything specific so I'll let you fill in that with your imagination.

The day had been long, his lab assistant Timothy Lawrence (Yea that Timothy if you know him because reasons) had been pretty quiet but done as told so at least that made it easier.

He was tired as the day had gone on his mood had sunk, what was he doing teasing Killian like that, honestly spanking him with the hair brush, he knew some of the things Killian had been up to.

But it was more likely a sign of marking territory or just because he had needs right and it was exciting to do things where you shouldn't.

The blade he was handling slipped and ran across the pad of his index finger, he hissed in pain, seeing the blood smear under the blue latex, pooling to drip, focusing on the red colour he hadn't even noticed Timothy running to fetch the first aid kit.

Pulling his gloves off he discarded them and popped open the box that had been set on the table.

"Thanks Timmy."

Walter smiled a little as he tended to his finger, he hated how the skin felt parting every time he flexed his finger.

Cleaning up and applying what was needed, thankful it wouldn't need stitches.

He wondered what Killian was up to, watching TV, reading maybe, did he eat, did he have enough to drink, was he in a depressive mood, was he mad that hed spanked him, he really should send a message.

Pulling his phone from his lab pocket he texted him.

'Hope you're day has been good, hope you're well, sorry if I upset you this morning.'

He shifted and rubbed a shoulder, he didn't realise how stiff his back had gone, being in charge of a division meant he'd somewhat lost track of self care making sure to do his stretches.

Timothy stood here watching his boss, lot better than the last one, this one was kind and genuine, always looking out for people, honestly Beckett made him feel safe and relaxed, he wasn't looking for anything serious but even he could see that furrowed bow and the lean that spelt hey I'm exhausted let me die.

Walking around and behind him he slowly massaged his shoulders, they were small and rather petite for someone Walter's age but it was more lean muscle and just body build, he just hadn't seen many men like Walter where he'd come from, he was rather pretty.

Walter had considered telling him to stop but when his fingers pressed into that one perfect spot in his shoulder blades he melted, ooooh that just felt so damn good and shit when was the last time he'd had contact, had someone be closer to him...he liked Killian...wondered if they could be more, but he didn't believe for one second that they could be lovers or bed fellows for one moment...not that he wouldn't be interested in finding out but Killian had been there a month, like he wasn't going to make him uncomfortable and feel like that the only way he could stay was if he dated him.

(I keep forgetting times or how many days set shrugs just don't expect like decent continuity, I write these because I need to just write things and moments)

Walter leaned forward arms folded and face buried in them

"Sorry sir, am I doing that badly?"

Timothy's enquired nervously, his hands going still.

"No, please don't stop, I literally didn't realise how stiff I was, you have good hands, I'm just so tired Timothy, I could really use it if you don't mind that is."

"Not at all sir."

Tim smiled happy to know he was helping, yes much nicer than his last boss, Walter was smart but he was also fragile, like him he loved his mother and when he'd heard Walters mother had died when he was small he wanted to scoop him up and just hug him.

A talk with Lance at one point and he'd learned that was a natural reaction for anyone with a heart around Walter who didn't have their head up their ass.

Which had practically been the last tech department Beckett had worked in, that totally wasn't cool that they'd done that to such a brilliant mind, it was so much fun working on items that didn't kill people and actually helped them!

Walter was imagining the fingers loosening the knots in his back were Killian, wondered what that would feel like with those pretty metal claws, but he never forgot it was Timothy, after all Timothy deserved more respect than that.

Looking over his shoulder at him, auburn hair flopping off to one side, Tim's hands on his waist he noticed the subtle blush.

"You wanna go grab some dinner or something in a minute there's a corner café I know, makes steak sandwiches and baked potatoes with a perfect crispy skin, a warm meal sounds pretty nice don't you think?"

Tim in the angle he was in was trying not to think about how suggestive this looked, he would absolutely lean down and kiss Walter if he thought it was an option, it really was a casual thing he felt, but Walter just looked so pretty and like he needed someone to carry him right now.

Continuing to rub his back Timothy nodded

"Yeah that sounds pretty nice actually."

---

At home Killian had found plenty to do, he'd read, watched tv, all in Walters bed of course, just to feel close to him as he could, he did wonder after handling himself, if Walter could see him as anything more than a friend, someone more than a few passing jokes between the other...turning his head and taking in his scent as he buried his face into a pillow again, looking forward to seeing those blue eyes...he should really get out of Walter's bed and get the covers washed.

Beckett brought comfort to his mind after his years of suffering, the sunrise after the storm.

He'd talked to Lovey, wondering if she could understand him, she was surprisingly responsive to his rambling as he worked on his arm, updating the tech and keeping up with maintenence.

Living here with Walter and slowly working past things with Lance and seeing he had genuinely started changes of his own, it made it easier with how Walter talked about him on the job, that he considered all options before violence and discussed the situations with him...it was good to know Beckett had helped Lance to.

He was glad to know Walter's field partner was a good one, though his lab partner, this Timothy Lawrence seemed to be pretty chummy didn't he, he'd seen a picture, thick brown hair, heterochromia eyes, blue and green to be exact and a chiseled jaw, in other words a damn pretty boy and he didn't want him around Walter.

He huffed folding his arms, yes he was jealous he was going to be pouty, before his injury he had thick black hair and had been known to be a very handsome man, now he looked like he'd been put through a grinder when he took off his holo mask and this Timothy Lawrence just had to be Walter's lab partner, he'd be around him alot and-

His phone buzzed, it'd been put on the side table and he read the text that'd come through and there was another one.

'Going out to dinner with Timothy, don't know what time I'll be back, have fun you probably need a break from me anyway lol 😂'

Killian's eye twitched, he nearly threw the damn phone, but how would he explain that, honestly he couldn't, Tristan sighed, shoulders drooping a little and answered his questions

'It's been a relaxing day, did work on the arm, Lovey' s surprisingly easy to talk to, watched a little television but perhaps you could suggest something to watch, it's rather hard deciding with all these options and no Walter you didn't upset me, though you left in a hurry, you do not need to avoid me. You're not a bother. Are you alright?'

'I'm so happy you're warming up to her! That's awesome! Also it's good you have time to relax, ten years of hectic stress you're more than overdue! I...well I was more embarrassed than anything, I reacted on instinct, last boyfriend liked that well that's probably more than you needed to know, but yeah I'll help you pick something to watch see you later!'

Last boyfriend? Spanking, Walter had, he had...Killian shifted well the blankets were starting to tent, the idea of being put over Walters petite lap and being told he was a very bad man came to mind.

He liked it.

A lot.

He looked at his phone as it pinged again.

'And god damn it, make sure you eat something for dinner, don't just go picking out the cupboard!'

Killian snickered and replied

'Yes Daddy, I'll make sure to eat something.'

After sending the text he realised what he'd written and wished he could take back that text, wincing as he managed to look at the response

'Behave, eat dinner or I'll put you over my knee young man.'

Killian stared and stared at that answer, he knew Walter was just teasing but, his cheeks were warm and he was...was he blushing.

----

"You all set to go Timothy?"

Walter smiled, his back was feeling a hundred times better after Timothy had dug into the knots, it wasn't a surprise that he was good with his hands, you had to have nimble ones to work with the tech they used here.

"Yeah, just coming boss!"

He pulled his satchel over his shoulder after pulling on his old brown leather jacket

"Please Timothy don't call me that, call me daddy."

Walter laughed at how silly that sounded

"I'm sorry, pfffft don't call me that god please, no, Walter's just fine."

Tim had paused a moment a slight fear he might have a streak like his last boss after all but that laugh was too warm and giggly and just shook his head with a smile

"Wouldn't dream of it Walter, you're more of a kitten anyway."

Timmy felt his insides tighten a little and there was that hint of Jack Dna surfacing.

"So shall we go?"

Beckett enquired looking up at him, huh he kinda looked like Killian, just a little.

"Ready when you are."

And with that they were off.

(Alright end of this ramble, Timothy has been thrown in because I needed the gasp drama of prolongation and shit and didn't have the energy to create an oc and honestly I'll mash anything from anywhere if it's convenient bleh)

[joshua-flipping-washington]

EllieDina Week- Day 3: Trouble.

Oh boy, this came out much more different than I was expecting. But I hope it reads alright! I'm late as always, apologies.

Rating: Teens and up.

Warnings: Pregnancy talk, nothing too serious. Just thought I'd add that as a warning.

●°○•

After the events that carried out in Seattle, Abby leaving Ellie and Dina battered and bloody on the floor of the theater. Ellie's mind, though her head was pounding with a vengeance. Was only focused on getting to Dina, on making sure that she was alright.

Ellie rolled onto her side with painstaking effort, managing to push herself up onto her knees. She crawls over to Dina, the arm that Abby had broken hanging uselessly at her side. " Dina. " Ellie says in a frantic tone, her voice is thick with emotion and she can taste her own blood as it coats her throat.

Ellie carefully pulls Dina close with the arm that isn't injured, she knows that she shouldn't move her because of the arrow in her shoulder, or the fact that Abby had beat her within an inch of her life. Tears fill Ellie's dull green eyes as she holds Dina close to her chest. " Babe… You're alright. Come on, wake up… Please, I just need you to be okay. "

Ellie's eyes flicker down to stare at Dina's chest, it is faintly rising and falling as she inhales and exhales. She let's out a soft breath of relief at knowing Dina was still breathing,pressing a gentle kiss to Dina's bloody temple.

Ellie's heart ached at knowing that if it hadn't have been for the boy with Abby, Dina could be dead right now. Just like Jesse and Tommy were. They both would be alive right now if it wasn't for Ellie, it was the same with everyone in her life that she cared about. Riley, Tess, Sam, Henry and… Joel. They all ended up getting killed because of her.

She refused to let that happen to Dina, she was going to make sure that she made it. Ellie was going to keep her safe, to the best of her abilities. She was in fact, only human after all.

《 》

It had been about seven months since they had left Seattle, one of the biggest shocks they'd had was finding out that Tommy was in fact, still alive. He was royally fucked, though- In terms of mobility. But he was learning to get along just fine with the help of Maria, and his good friend whiskey.

Ellie and Dina had moved to the outskirts of Jackson, into a small two-story farm house just like Dina had mentioned way back when, on their first day in Seattle. It had a huge yard, which some of the guys from Jackson helped Ellie fence in. And a decent sized barn for their sheep, most of which had comical or pun-y names.

Dina was standing in the kitchen in front of the sink, washing the left over dishes from the night before. Ellie was notoriously known for leaving the dishes soaking over night in the sink, not liking to deal with them in the moment. She hummed softly to herself as she scrubbed a plate, a fond smile making it's way onto her face as Ellie enters the room.

Ellie stepped up behind Dina, and gently wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. Her hands rested lightly on the growing bump of Dina's stomach, she was already almost eight months along. Ellie pressed a tender kiss to the side of Dina's head, slowly trailing butterfly kisses down her neck. " Babe, why don't you come and relax upstairs with me for a bit? The doctor did say for you to start taking it easy. "

Dina laughed softly as Ellie pressed close to her, hands resting gently on her baby bump as she wrapped her arms around her. Dina craned her neck slightly as Ellie kissed softly along her neck. But then came the one thing Dina had really began to hate hearing. She sighed heavily, giving a good natured roll of her eyes. " Ellie, I'm fine. Besides, if I didn't do these dishes, they'd just sit here until we have more from dinner tonight, and you know it. "

Ellie snorted sheepishly and she nuzzled her face into the crook of Dina's neck, her breath tickling the other girls skin as she spoke. " Yeah, I can't even lie about it. You know me too well, but come on. How about- I finish off these dishes, and you go upstairs and rest. You've been on your feet all afternoon, Dina. "

Dina let out a reluctant sigh, but as she did she set down the rag she'd been using to clean the dishes with. She turned around in Ellie's embrace and couldn't help but smile at the loving look on Ellie's face. " Alright- I relent, I'll try and relax for a bit. You are such a sap, you do know that, right? "

Ellie couldn't even feign mock hurt at the comment, she knew that it was true. She leaned forward and pressed a loving kiss to Dina's lips. " I know, but only a sap for you, babe. Now go- I got this. " Ellie released Dina of her embrace, and gently shooed a laughing Dina out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

Dina was more thankful than she was letting on as she walked up the stairs, she had started to feel the beginning of a headache ebbing it's way in. Being pregnant was more of an experience than she could even imagine, turns out you feel gross a lot, your hormones are all over the place, your back aches and because of the baby pressing down on your bladder- You had to pee almost all the time. And pregnancy brain was definitely real.

Dina entered their bedroom and immediately kicked off her boots, relief washing over her as she sank down onto the mattress. " Okay, maybe Ellie was right about relaxing. Yeah, what do you think, huh? " She said softly as she gently rubbed her hand over her stomach, she smiled happily at the light bump against her hand. " I can't wait to meet you, little one. "

Her brown eyes widened slightly at the sudden tightening feeling of her abdomen, she knew that she shouldn't panic, but that was her minds first instinct. " No, no- I'm not ready to meet you yet, it's too early. " She said with a whimper, and then immediately called out for Ellie.

Dina's tone had enough of a panicked edge to it as she called out to Ellie, that she had dropped the final plate she'd been washing on the kitchen floor with a crash, rushing up the stairs and to their room without a second thought. She stood in the doorway, eyes wide with confusion and fear. " Dina? Dina, what's wrong? "

Dina was sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes are closed and her hand is resting on her stomach. She opens her eyes with a shuddering laugh, tears glistening on the surface. " I don't know if it's just because I'm panicking, but swear I just had a contraction. "

Ellie stepped into the room and stopped in front of Dina, gently cupping her face. Her eyes were filled with concern, but then the things the doctor had told them and the stuff she'd read in one of the pregnancy books came flooding back to her. " Babe, it's okay. Come on, sit with me. Let's wait and see if the feeling comes back, or gets more intense or close together. "

Dina gave a small nod of her head, moving up towards the middle of the bed. Her mind still racing, the unshed tears threatening to fall. Ellie climbed up onto the bed, and gently pulled Dina into her lap. She gently brushed her fingers through Dina's curls, humming softly. " Just tell me what you feel, I'm thinking it might just be Braxton-Hicks. "

Dina and Ellie sat there for thirty minutes, the tightening coming and going, getting weaker as time went on. " I think that they are done now… " Dina placed her head in her hands, and laughed in disbelief. " I can't believe I forgot that can happen, and I'm the one who's pregnant. "

Ellie kissed Dina's shoulder and gently rubbed her back. " Hey, you have a literal human being growing inside of you. I think you are allowed to forget a thing or two. "

Dina smiled softly at how sweet Ellie could be, when she wanted to be. " Well, I'm glad to have you by my side. I was… Seriously freaking out at the thought of having this baby early. " She turned her torso slightly and pressed her lips to Ellie's.

They soon went to sleep, holding each other close. Dina feeling more at ease knowing that Ellie had her back.