#they’re wild and crazy and I wish them the best

[vvitchering]

I’m rewatching snw and something that bugged me a little the first watch is actually just making me laugh this time. In ep 1 when Spock and T’pring are out having dinner and start kissing (with their mouths!!!in public!!! On Vulcan!!! lewd!!!!!!) and another Vulcan comes over and is like “can y’all NOT” This isn’t snw ignoring Vulcan cultural norms as I thought it might be at first. This is snw stating that Spock and T’pring are absolute sexy deviant menaces and the other Vulcans are actually sick of them being gross in public and keep politely asking them to Stop 😂

[hrrtshape]

✶ THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU’RE DOUBTING SHIFTING.

𖥻  SPACE. just.. HELLO ?? we are literally a speck of dust in a ginormous cosmic playground that we can’t even fully explore because we’re too busy figuring out if cats can vibe to beethoven or if that godforsaken dress is white or blue. you think THIS is the only reality? somewhere out there, there’s a planet where the sky is pink, dogs talk, and you’re riding unicorns. shifting is NOT a crazy concept.

𖥻 DINOSAURS. THEY. WERE. REAL. like actual dragons without wings, stomping around, acting like they owned the place. if THAT can exist, why not shifting ? you think the universe peaked at “giant chickens with teeth”? no way. reality is way too wild for limits.

𖥻 DÉJÀ VU. EXPLAIN IT WITHOUT THE MULTIVERSE. I DARE YOU. why do we randomly feel like we’ve been here before, done this before, or even said this before? because we HAVE. somewhere, somewhen, sometime. you’re already living proof of infinite realities brushing shoulders.

𖥻 QUANTUM PHYSICS (4 da nerdies). scientists out here with their schrödinger’s cats and double-slit experiments proving that reality isn’t fixed. it’s ALL probabilities until you observe it.

𖥻 YOU'RE HUMAN. our brains are INSANE. dreams? lucid dreams? daydreaming? thinking of a time and feeling like you just tasted it? if your brain can already do ALL THAT, shifting is just another level. literally just....closing your eyes and opening them in another place.

𖥻 YOU'RE ALREADY DOING IT. every time you daydream or even think “what if,” you’re stepping closer to a version of yourself in another reality. you're peeking through the multiverse’s window. shifting is just diving in instead of peeking.

𖥻 YOUR DESIRES EXIST. if you can imagine it, it exists somewhere. that’s not wishful thinking; that’s logic. where do ideas come from if not from infinite possibilities? you’re not just dreaming—you’re remembering. nothing goes by you without a purpose. if it found you, it was supposed to !!!!!!!

𖥻 THE MANDELA EFFECT. remember when pikachu definitely had a black tail tip, or when the berenstain bears were called the berenSTEIN bears? reality’s already glitchy as fuck. shifting? just another glitch—but YOU’RE IN CONTROL.

𖥻 FAIRYTALES HAD TO COME FROM SOMEWHERE. you think someone just WOKE UP and said, “dragons, magic castles, enchanted forests!” no. no. no. those stories? they’re just whispers from realities where that’s NORMAL. you’re not making it up—you’re tuning in. experiencing it. liviiiiiiiing it.

𖥻 TIME IS FAKE. i said it. not to get too conspiratorial on my tumblr blog, but what even IS time? a straight line? a wibbly-wobbly thingy? we made clocks, but the universe? the universe is, like, “what is a ‘tuesday’?” shifting doesn’t care about time; it’s above all that silly nonsense. and so are you.

𖥻 PARALLEL UNIVERSE ARE A THING ('n' SCIENCE effing SAID SO). quantum mechanics already told us there’s an infinite number of realities where every possibility plays out. in one of them, you’re already living your best life. shifting is just YOU popping in to say hi to THAT version of you.

𖥻 REALITY IS (lowkey) BORING WITHOUT BELIEF. why settle for “this is it. this is my life. a 9-5 job. a life which i barely live out” when the multiverse is basically screaming, “come explore!!” ? you’re a creator. you’re a wanderer.

𖥻 "I FEEL IT" IS ENOUGH. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. if you can close your eyes and feel that DR, the love, the magic, the LIFE—you’re already there. the multiverse doesn’t need proof; it needs belief. so don't let idiots with half a brain on tik tok tell you that you're wrong, when you're so, so, so, so, SOOOO close to BEING THERE and living your best life.

𖥻 finally, LITERALLY, WHY NOT ?  life’s already bananas. people thought flying was impossible, and now we’re out here booking ryanair flights to halfway across the world. people said sex with robots isn't true, and kim k is already siting on a robot's lap. people said the government cannot be stupid, and elon musk is already part of it. shifting is just the next “impossible” (and not to be cheeky...but the word literally has 'i'm possible' in it) thing that YOU are proving possible.

so. girl. dude. diva. bro. go shift.

[madcapberry]

i would love to know ur dickhelena thoughts that might be controversial actually… i recently finished a bunch of huntress reading so she’s been on my mind a lot

Idk maybe the most controversial thing is how much I care about the two of them as a pair. I think their friendship is more compelling than Dick and Babs as a relationship or Helena and Babs (whatever tf you’d call what they have going on). And I just wish that we’d gotten more of Dick and Helena together, I feel like their dynamic had so much meat to it. There was so much to dig into that was never full explored. And I think leaning into it would have been good for the development of BOTH of them as characters.

I’m not saying I think they should be a couple, but it makes me sad that nobody seems to care about them as a pair. There are so many Dick Grayson fans and I feel like a large portion of them barely know who Helena is. And Helena fans generally don’t seem to give a fuck about Dick (correct me if I’m wrong, that’s just based on my observations… also fair enough). But they make such interesting foils and you could do so many different stories with the two of them and their opposing viewpoints. And it’s always more interesting than pairing Helena up with Batman because Dick and Helena actually seem to care about each other on a human level and they have this unnamable tension between them that I think works so so so well.

The dynamic I’m talking about is pretty contained to the 90s through to 2011. Dick and Helena’s dynamic in Grayson is fun but it also feels like both of them (but especially Helena) are completely different characters there. And to be completely honest I don’t know a lot about what their relationship looks like since Rebirth.

What I wanted from them was for their relationship/friendship/working partnership to get the breathing room to stretch and grow. I wanted it to be painful and sweet and difficult. I wanted their chemistry, their similarities, and their camaraderie to MEAN SOMETHING!! And it was pushed aside by people like Chuck Dixon who were very very keen on pushing Dick and Barbara as a power couple (Nothing against Babs, I absolutely adore her. Really don’t like DickBabs tho) I also think a lot of writers at the time disliked Helena so they did their best to make it seem like she meant nothing to their precious Nightwing.

I think they work better as friends than as a couple. They’re both quite uncompromising characters with core values that don’t line up. It could be interesting to explore a romantic relationship between them, but anytime that’s been done it just feels… off to me. I don’t mind the sometimes sexual aspect of their relationship, it works for me sometimes, but at other times I do think it feels a little bit forced (Devin Grayson why is Helena randomly shoving her tongue down his throat). Anyway.

Dick can’t love certain parts of her, (her willingness to kill bad people). Helena can’t love certain parts of him (his rigidity, to put it lightly). And I think what they both need is a kind of freedom they’ll never be able to find in each other. It’s crazy because both of these characters have a sort of wild and free personality at times but neither of them are free. Helena is bound by the memory of the slaughter of her family, her old mob ties, her guilt, her compassion and hatred in equal measures, her religion, Batman and Gotham. Dick is bound by his love for Bruce, the shoes he has to fill, the version of himself he needs to live up to, the version of himself Bruce imagines is real, the weight of all the people who rely on him etc.

There’s this dedication and commitment and fervor at the core of both of them and they’re both orphans and they’ve both experienced so much violence and they both have a chip on their shoulder about Batman and yet they have so much to argue over it’s GREAT!!!!

Anyways love them a lot ok byeee!

[wardenparker]

Down the Rabbit Hole - ch 3

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

When Jack accidentally shoots a civilian on a mission he takes on not only the guilt of the man’s death, but inherits his soulmate as well. To you, it’s a dream job with more perks than you can imagine - but for Jack it’s a nightmarish complication. Even more so when he starts to develop feelings.    

Rating: General audiences, but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 16.3k Warnings: *Blanket warnings - mentions of deceased spouse, a lot of food and alcohol consumption, family recipes, age gap, cursing.* Flirting, discussions of deceased soulmates. Not too many warnings for this one, although Jack and shopping is a personal fantasy of mine. Summary:  A party and a day out together give you some time to get to know Jack a little bit better. Notes: Sorry for the post delay this week, everyone, but thank you all for being so supportive. Health is a struggle but fiction is a beautiful escape.

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14 ~ Ch 15 ~ Epilogue

Jack eyes Champ, frowning slightly at the older man as he shoots him a grin across the room. He's been cagey lately, smirking at him like he knows a secret that he won't tell Jack. Something that he knows drives the senior agent crazy. Instead of walking across the room and demanding he tell him what is on his mind, Jack turns towards you. Watching as you meet Ginger's soulmate, Gabriella.

Just a little get together, Diana had said when she called you, smiling down the phone as she issued the invitation. To celebrate! Well, Diana’s idea of small was two or three dozen people - all Statesman employees and their families - gathered at the Rogers’ house for a weekend barbecue. It seems like the whirlwind of introductions may never stop, but this bright and happy woman named Gabriella and the two children that she seems to be an expert at wrangling just put you at ease. Introducing yourself seems a little redundant since this is a party to welcome you specifically, but the kids don’t care - just as kids tend not to. They wave hello and ask their mother if they can go play with the other kids, and are off like a shot the instant they get a ‘yes’.

“They’re sweet,” you say, smiling despite how much you miss your niece and nephew. It’s only been five days since you saw them last, but that’s the longest you’ve gone without seeing them ever.

"They are wild." Gabriella corrects you with a laugh, looking after her kids with the fondness of a parent of someone well accustomed to their antics. "But they promised to behave under threat of torture."

“I wish that worked on my nephew.” When she pats the arm of the chair beside her, you sit down gratefully. Deciding to dress up for this party shouldn’t have included heels, that’s your own fault. “When my niece is finally old enough to be his sidekick, everyone’s going to be in trouble.”

"Menaces, huh?" She chuckles and sips her spiked lemonade before she shrugs, keeping an eye on her own troublemakers. "That just means they will have each other's backs when they are older."

“I hope so.” They have good examples to follow, at least, with how close you are to your siblings. Even if you’re not physically close to each other anymore. “So…this is what counts as a ‘little’ get together around here?” Diana had poured you a spiked lemonade a few moments ago, and you’d added peach nectar as your fruit flavor of choice from the bar of fruit flavored syrups and liqueurs by the large bar set up in the kitchen counter. It’s the best lemonade you’ve ever had in your life.

"Any excuse to have a party is Diana's reason for living." Gabriella jokes, motioning to where she is fluttering around talking to people with the largest smile on her face. Her husband ambles behind her, much slower in pace as he allows her to do as she pleases with a fond smile on his own face and a whiskey in his hand.

“A woman after my own heart,” you laugh, looking over in time to see a young man maybe a few years younger than yourself receive an enthusiastic kiss to his cheek and be shooed inside with lipstick on his cheek. “Their son?” It’s not exactly a stretch to guess. He has Champ’s stance and his mother’s thick head of hair.

"Bobby." She confirms with a nod. "He’s back home for a bit after being overseas for the last two years."

“Something fun, I hope.” But you won’t pry, enjoying the easy atmosphere on this sunny afternoon.

"Oh yeah, he's been traveling for Statesman and has been a little homesick." She murmurs, aware that you aren't aware of the real reason for international travel from some of the Statesman employees. Her wife had filled her in before the party.

“I like that it’s a family operation.” Turning back to Gabriella, you take a sip of your lemonade and smile. “Do you mind if I ask how long you’ve been here?” You don’t know their story - her and Astrid - but as the newest arrival to what Champ and Diana jovially call ‘the Statesman family’ you feel like you want to know everything.

Gabriella smiles, looking over at Astrid with stars in her eyes. “We found each other about seven years ago. Damn lucky honestly. What with–” She bites her lip, knowing she shouldn’t say the real reason. “Astrid doesn’t have any scars.”

“I noticed that a lot of people don’t seem to have tattoos, either.” It’s just a vague observation, but coming from the culinary world where so many of your coworkers have large pieces or even whole sleeves, it surprises you. “I guess I’m alone in that one.”

“Yeah.” Gabriella gives a slightly nervous chuckle. “There’s actually an incentive to have them removed here. You should look into it. If you want, of course.” If she could get you to remove the tattoos without any suspicion, Jack would be in the clear.

“Why would I want to do that?” Your left hand moves protectively to cover your right elbow, and you think back to your contract to make sure you haven't glazed over anything. There had certainly been a dress code portion of the employee handbook, but nothing about tattoos or piercings. Not even a note on ‘acceptable’ hair colors.

“I meant no offense.” She immediately back pedals and gives a small smile. “I’ve just known plenty of people here who have decided they don't want their tattoos anymore. People change what they once liked…you know.”

“Oh, sure.” That’s true, certainly, and you relax a little. “I guess that’s fair. I just can’t see a single reason I would want to get rid of mine. I just made sure to get it in a place that I could cover, ya know? Just in case. Some fine dining restaurants don’t like to have them showing.”

“Of course.” She bobbles her head quickly, not wanting to alienate you with a thoughtless comment. She wasn’t supposed to know that you are Jack’s soulmate but Astrid had let it slip. “I know all about the ‘professional’ world. I was in the corporate rat race before I found Astrid.”

“Then that makes you a much braver woman than I.” You laugh and sit back in your chair. “I don’t know how you survived it, honestly.” All that corporate nonsense does nothing for you and it never has - no part of your extraordinary life is ever going to revolve around file numbers.

“Oh I’m much happier now with our little house to keep and our kids to wrangle.” She promises. “And just listening to Astrid talk about work gives me all the adventure I could ever want.”

“It’s not that little.” No, you see their house in the walk to work every morning now, and it certainly isn’t petite like yours is. Not that you need more than that for just you and the Dormouse. “You’ve got your slice of heaven, I think. It’s kind of…” You shrug, figuring you’re probably over sharing, but it’s always coming out of your mouth. “Kind of what I always wanted. That idyllic family life.”

“I never knew I wanted it.” Gabriella has no problem admitting that she had never imagined domestic bliss or being a stay-at-home mom when she was climbing the corporate ladder. “Now, I couldn’t imagine anything else.”

“I wouldn’t give up my career for anything.” Anybody who asked you to would be in for a rude awakening. “But a family? That’s…that’s still the dream.” Even with your soulmate, the idea of finding someone isn’t ridiculous. Plenty of people do it every day…right?

“I understand.” Gabriella looks over to where her youngest has spotted Jack and is currently climbing up his leg. Jack smiles and laughs as he swings the boy up onto his shoulders, but there is the underlying sadness underneath. “Sometimes the dreams are all you have.”

“Sometimes they are.” Too lost in your own melancholy overlong losing your soulmate, you don’t see Gabriella’s eyes move to Jack with her son. You don’t even notice Astrid and Tex step up onto the porch together.

“Well, look at you.” Tex whistles as he looks you up and down. “Ain’t you pretty as a picture? You having fun?”

“Hey you.” The sound of his voice is familiar - one of the only things that is familiar around here - and you perk up a little to see two familiar faces. “You made it.” To be honest, you didn’t really know who Diana had invited, but you figured it was a good chance that Tex would be here considering he had been your flight companion and part of your testing team. He seems to be involved in everything the same way Jack is.

“Damn near didn’t.” Tequila admits. “Amsterda—” He cuts off abruptly and shakes his head. “I mean, an armadillo managed to get into one of the storage houses.” He covers his slip up with a mile wide grin. “But I made it.”

“Is that why I haven’t seen you in days?” You pop up from your seat to give him a hug and choose not to say anything about the fact that he was definitely about to say something else. “Because of an armadillo?”

“Tricky suckers.” He huffs, giving you an extra squeeze before he lets go of you. Gabriella sends Astrid a pointed look and then glances at Tequila.

“If I find one in my garden, I’m calling you.” It’s barely a threat, and you don’t have a proper garden yet, but you’ll get there eventually.

“You can call me even if you don’t.” Tex tells you, making Astrid clear her throat and capture everyone’s attention. “Should we get something to eat?” She asks when your head turns towards her.

“Lead the way.” Champ seems to have deputized his son to help him look after the large grill on the other side of the yard, and Jack is nearby with a drink in hand when the four of you approach together.

Astrid and Gabriella whisper together ahead of you as you make your way towards the tables laden down with sides and desserts. None of them yours yet, but a potluck off all those who wanted to contribute.

“I wish Diana hadn’t insisted on just being a guest.” Walking beside Tex, you look over at the table of various desserts with affection. Sweets are what you do, after all. “I would have made a couple of cakes to bring.”

"You aren't supposed to bring food to your own shindig." Jack huffs, walking up toward the group and nods towards you. "It's not how it's done here in the south, sugar."

“I guess I have a few things to learn.” You half step forward to offer him a hug, having left things on a good note after your night at the bar earlier in the week, but you’re not still quite sure what Jack thinks of you and you don’t want to make things weird - so instead you end up just stepping forward awkwardly and looking like your arms don’t work properly. “How have you been, Jack?”

He knows that you are expecting a hug and doesn't know quite how to ask for one. It's slightly awkward, especially since Jack just came back from the funeral of your former soulmate. It had taken a couple of days for his family to be notified and then another week for the body to be shipped back to his hometown. Jack hadn't introduced himself, just stood off a respectful distance while the man he had taken a future from had been lowered into the ground. "As good as I can be." He tells you, looping his arm around you and squeezing you to his side in a friendly manner, although his hand is lower than appropriate on your waist.

“I hope nothing’s wrong?” The side hug is a little awkward but there’s warmth to it - or at least there is to you. It wouldn’t be the first time you imagined that someone enjoyed your company more than they actually did. “Sweets can solve any myriad of problems, you know.”

"Nothing that a party with everyone I care about can't fix." Jack hums, a flash of pain that seems bittersweet and vague for Abigail not being here is almost as a reflex now. He suppresses it and grins. "But I'm eager for another sample of your cakes."

“I’m going to start working on the menu next week,” you tell everyone, chest absolutely bursting with pride. “So I’m going to need everybody to stop by the kitchen a couple of times to try out what I’ll be baking. As many times as you want to come by, I’d love to get the feedback.”

"Everyday." The promise pops out of his lips before he could ever even think about not speaking.

Not expecting such an immediate and earnest response, you practically beam. “Then I’ll start with cakes. By the end of the week you’ll never want to go near buttercream again.”

"Don't tell him that." Tequila rolls his eyes and shoulder checks Jack playfully. "This man keeps bags of candy in his desk all the time."

“Oh yeah?” You raise an eyebrow at Jack and smirk. “What’s your favorite?” Sometimes the smallest thing can be a big inspiration, so you’re never going to shy away from asking the question.

Jack frowns at Tequila for ratting him out and huffs. "I like Snickers." He admits with a modest shrug of his shoulders.

“Noted.” The urge to do something in Jack’s honor on your menu is seemingly expanding far beyond his affinity for your tea sandwiches, but on the outside all you do is smile. You haven’t had a crush like this in ages, and it doesn’t help that you’re nursing one for Tex at the same time.

"I like Zero bars." Tex adds, his brows lifted hopefully as he pushes his hands into his pockets. He really likes you, drawn to you in a way he hasn't felt before and he wants to ask you out.

“Which are, arguably, a white chocolate version of a Snickers.” It starts to turn your wheels even more, wondering if you can’t do something with caramel and peanuts that uses two types of chocolate.

"I keep telling you that." Jack smirks at Tex and shakes his head. "Boy doesn't know anything."

“It just means they can work well together.” Completely oblivious to any undertones in the conversation, you just shrug your shoulders and let your wheels grind on a recipe idea while the group of you moves up along the picnic tables to get something to eat.

Tequila frowns at Jack but he doesn’t feel guilty. The boy needs to sniff around somewhere else. It’s obvious you aren’t interested and you’re grieving your soulmate.

“What in the hell is going on?” Ginger whispers, hiding in Jack’s ear as Gabriella and Tequila whisk you toward one end of the tables to the immense batch of tamales that Ginger’s wife made for the occasion.

“What are you talking about?” Jack asks, feigning ignorance. “We’re at a party. That’s what’s going on.”

“You and Tequila.” She fixes him with a frown and pushes her glasses up on her nose a little. “You’re not normally this subtle, I’ll give you that. But it’s like watching peacocks.”

“Peacocks?” Jack frowns and looks over at where you and Tequila have your heads together over the table and there are the sounds of laughter. “You’re imagining things.” He scoffs. “Nobody’s actin’ like a peacock. Just bein’ friendly to the girl.”

“Jack.” Ginger frowns. She wears her cover for her friends on her sleeve and makes no apologies for it. “I know you might not…all things considered, I get it. Not saying anything to her. But please tell me that you told him?”

“Sure I did.” Jack nods, rolling his eyes. “Showed him the damn tattoos the day Champ benched me.”

“But you’re sure he knows it’s her?” She asks, searching his face with concern. When he rolls his eyes, her eyes pinch shut immediately. “It’s February, Jack. It might be warm enough for a backyard barbecue, but we’re all still wearing long sleeves.”

“Come on Ging– he went to pick her up.” Jack scoffs. “Don’t you think Champ told him that he was on an escort mission for my supposed soulmate?

“Honestly?” She shrugs, biting the inside of her lip while she thinks. “I think Champ told as few people as possible. So maybe he didn’t.” There is nothing supposed about you, but this isn’t the moment for that argument.

“Don’t see why it matters.” Liar. The voice in his head screams it but Jack just ignores it and forges ahead. “They are friendly. End of story.”

“If you say so.” The last thing she wants is to start an argument, so she’ll let it go for now. But Ginger knows Jack and Tequila and she knows their habits - and you’re getting at least one request for a date for Valentine’s Day next week. She just doesn’t know which one of them will be first.

Jack is happy she’s willing to drop it. Uncomfortable with the conversation, although he does side eye Tequila before he dismisses it. It’s not like he has a claim over you even if it was true. You aren’t his soulmate and there’s no way he’s yours. Not when his heart died years ago.

It takes two full plates before you’re finally stuffed, sitting in the afternoon sun in Champ’s backyard as most of the party has migrated indoors in anticipation of that same sun setting. There are still a few stragglers outside and you’re happy to be one of them - enjoying the sun’s rays while they’re still there to beat down on you. It’s been a lively afternoon and you’ve met a lot of very nice people, but stealing a few minutes alone has been nice, too.

Jack notices you off alone, nursing his beer as he watches you. Wondering what you think about this place, everyone here. He huffs to himself and stands, closing the gap between the two of you with no clue as to why. “Appreciating the silence or wantin’ some company?” He asks, knowing that if you want to be alone he’ll respect that.

“I wouldn’t say no to company.” Shifting to one side on the little bench you’ve been occupying, you make room for him to sit. You’ve always come to the conclusion that it would take a hell of a lot for you to say no to Jack.

He tries to tell himself that he shouldn’t be so pleased that you accepted his presence, but that doesn’t stop the quiet pride filling his chest. “No regrets so far?” He asks, looking over the party. Champ would have found something to make you stay, but he’s curious as to you wanting to be here. “Get your stuff easy enough?”

“I’m planning on running out tomorrow for a few things, but honestly the house is great.” It’s not like you owned that much to begin with, and the house came fully furnished. You’re just going to go wandering around housewares stores tomorrow to pick up some personal touches and to try some local restaurants while you’re out. “Everybody’s been so nice. Astrid actually sent flowers after I settled in, and Champ’s given me a key to the restaurant so I can be in the kitchen whenever I want. It’s all…pretty perfect.”

Jack knows that Champ might have put a tracker in the keys that he gave you. But he doesn’t like the idea of you going to town without some protection. “Want some company? Tomorrow?” Jack hears the edge to his voice and scolds himself for acting like an idiot. “I mean, I’ve got some errands to run and you can put whatever you buy into the back of the Bronco.” He tells himself that he’s responsible, at least until your tattoo on his skin goes away. Still convinced it’s the universe’s idea of a sick joke.

“You wouldn’t mind?” It’s not flirting, you remind yourself, although your heart does seem to pick up speed a little at the offer. “I mean…I was going to have lunch out while I was picking things up. So…my treat? As a thank you for driving?”

It’s his immediate reaction to protest. To remind you that his daddy would box his ears, but he catches your eyes. Pride. He’s more than a little familiar with the trait and he sees that you aren’t one to just expect someone to go and do. That you need to contribute to the outing. So he nods. “If you want, I can take you to my favorite country kitchen.” He offers. “They do a buffet of all the things folks love around here. Give you a feel for the area.”

“I’d love that.” It’s exactly the kind of thing you were hoping to find for yourself, but doing it with him sounds infinitely better. “Most of what I know about Southern cooking comes from my grandma, so I definitely want to try as many local places as I can.”

“Best food ever, although, come hungry.” He warns you. “They will be asking why you aren’t going back for thirds.”

“You’re assuming I wouldn’t happily eat thirds,” you laugh, amused by his serious tone. “I’ll go back every week if it’s that good.”

“Have you ever had cornbread so thin it’s like a pancake and fried until it’s crispy on the edges?” Jack asks you with a grin.

“We have something like that at home.” Johnnycakes are a New England classic, and you fell in love with the quick and tasty cornmeal pancakes during culinary school. “But I can’t wait to try the Southern version.” It sounds like it would be perfect for a caviar service if the tea room ever got that fancy…

“That with a piece of catfish fried to perfection is just like momma used to make.” He confides, winking at you playfully.

“Sounds like heaven.” One of these days you really have to stop shivering whenever he winks at you. But it won’t be today.

“That sounds like a plan.” Jack hates shopping, but he’s not going to let you go out to town by yourself. Or with Tequila, although he knows the boy is leaving on another mission.

“I haven’t lived on my own for a while, so there’s just some finishing touches I don’t have,” you explain, wondering why you feel the need to actually explain yourself at all. It just sort of…compels itself out of your mouth.

“Oh?” It almost startles him how quickly he focuses on that. “Lived with a lover?” He asks. “Statesman will let you bring someone to live with you if you’re trying the long distance thing. It doesn’t work - trust me.”

“I know it doesn’t.” While you didn’t really have any intention of talking about it today, there’s a Nudging feeling inside you that just wants to spill everything to Jack. To lay yourself proverbially bare and let this whole new beginning at Statesman be made of honesty instead of hiding pieces of yourself away. “I—a few years ago, I was with this person. Someone I thought was really going to last, ya know? I mean it wasn’t my soulmate but we had been together for years. Anyway…they got offered a job in New York. And we had all these plans for me to drive down to them and visit on off days and to make things work and they just…” You sigh, hating that everything that happened with your ex still hurts so badly. “It only took them two weeks to find someone else. So I left the apartment we’d been living in with our other friend and moved back in with my family. My little sister had just given birth to my nephew and every pair of hands that could help was welcome.” Rubbing your eyes, you huff ruefully and shrug your shoulders. “Sorry if that’s oversharing, I guess.”

“It’s not.” Jack wants to reach out and hug you, and that’s exactly why he doesn’t. He doesn’t deserve to comfort you and he doesn’t trust himself to not try. “Whoever they were, they were an idiot.” He can’t imagine just finding someone else. Not when you claim to love them. It’s why he’s been very careful to make sure that what he did have was very surface level physical pleasure. He hasn’t had an intimate connection since Abigail. Not real intimacy.

“They’re somebody else’s problem now.” If you wanted to, you could probably argue to yourself that Jack moved closer with this small moment of comfort, but you don’t want to tease yourself like that. You do like him, but it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t see you as more than a potential friend, so you don’t want to push anything. “I appreciate that.”

"Hopefully they step on Legos in the dark for the rest of their life." Jack jokes.

“You are cruel.” It draws a laugh from you anyway, a grateful feeling from being supported in a moment of emotional need. Things like this are easy with Jack - no matter how nervous you may get from your little crush, the softest moments are always easy. “But…on point, honestly. A lifetime of barefoot Lego steps would be pretty suitable.”

He laughs and feels like the moment is light and easy with you. Letting it settle over him like a soft blanket.

“Oh…” The memory hits you immediately and out of nowhere, as you sit in a moment of comfortable silence with Jack. “Tomorrow…I was going to go dress shopping, also. I completely forgot. So…if that doesn’t exactly sound like fun for you, I’ll totally get it.” It would be a disappointment to not spend the day with Jack now that you’ve made the plan, but you can’t imagine that womens’ clothes shopping holds any great appeal for him.

“I don’t mind going dress shoppin’.” Jack shrugs. “You know that it could be fun.” He hums, unable to resist imagining you in a sleek and sexy dress.

“I said yes to this wedding invitation ages ago and I just…haven't had any time to prepare.” The impulse to continue to explain yourself is obviously strong. “The plan was just to ignore my plus one and drive down to Boston on the day, but now it’ll be a flight and a hotel and all kinds of craziness and I—” You shrug. “They’re family, so I can’t just not go. So…I have to find a dress.”

“Wedding huh?” He relaxes slightly and shrugs. “You don’t have to ignore the plus one, I’m sure someone would love to go to a wedding.”

“Well, I’m friendly with about six people at the moment, and four of them are married couples.” Hope flames so strong in your chest that you’re sure he must see it. Maybe misinterpreted as a flash of desperation, but that isn’t it. You’re just…so fucking drawn to him. “So unless you or Tex is willing, I’ll just hang out with my siblings that night like I’ve been planning.”

“When and where is this little shindig happening?” Jack asks, smirking as he imagines perching you on his arm for a wedding and seeing how the rest of your family is. Even though the thought confuses him.

“The Whitney Hotel in Boston, a week from today.” Hope. It flares bright and beautiful in your whole body but you try not to look too much like a fawning schoolgirl. Without knowing how old Jack is, you would guess that he had about ten years on you, and you don’t want to come across as immature when you’re just being sincere.

Instantly, it’s like a bucket of ice water has been poured over his head. Except it’s no team celebration for winning a playoff or prank by Tequila. It’s the horror of realizing that you would have met the man you were supposed to be with if Jack hadn’t been there two weeks ago. Guilt curls in Jack’s stomach and the barbecue and baked beans he had eaten along with about a fourth of the dessert table threatens to make a reappearance. “Sounds- sounds good, sugar.” Jack manages to croak as he leaps ungracefully to his feet. “Excuse me.” He can’t even tip his hat towards you before he is rushing across the yard like the hounds of hell are after him.

******

“I miss you guys.” Hours later, on the phone with your sister, you still haven’t quite shaken the unease left behind by Jack’s abrupt exit from the party. Everyone has started going their separate ways by evening time and you had come home with the intention of starting to write out a shopping list for tomorrow, only to be interrupted by a call from Eliza. “How are my little prince and princess doing?”

“Missing their favorite aunt.” She huffs, even though she’s laughing down the phone. “Driving me crazy and asking when they are going to see you again.”

“At Cassie’s wedding.” You promise, shifting the phone in your hand as you look out into your backyard from the bedroom window seat. “I’m not skipping out on my family just because I moved.”

“I felt like you weren’t going to miss it.” She agrees, happy to hear it. “Have you found your dress already?”

“I’m going shopping tomorrow.” Obviously not with her, like you had been planning, but you’re still going to get it done. Even if Jack backs out of coming with you after leaving the party on such a weird note, you still need to go. “I need a couple more things for the house, so tomorrow is going to be dresses and housewares.”

“I’m so excited to see you.” She huffs, even though it’s only been a couple of days. “Are you settling in okay? I’m just amazed that the job comes with housing.”

“It’s like a little company town out here. There’s a whole neighborhood of full time employees and we all have these cute little houses and manicured yards. And the guest room is open any time you want to come visit.” Other places might have made it suspect or oppressive, but Statesman seemed to thrive on being a family company. “The owner even threw a little welcome party this afternoon. Backyard barbecue, amazing drinks, lots of people just hanging out and kids playing. I met most of the higher ups.”

“It sounds amazing. Friendly atmosphere plus booze?” She laughs. “Tell me the men are handsome.”

“I—” You laugh before you can stop yourself, glancing out the window again into the backyard of the house next door - owned by a woman you met today who works in HR. “Yeah. I’m not even going to be coy about it. Some of these men are stunning.”

“Really?” She knows you can hear the wicked grin on her face through the phone. “Tell me allllllll about them. I need a little cowboy in my life.” She laughs again, well aware she’s never even really interacted with one before but you are in the thick of them apparently.

“So…there are two that stick out.” The only person in the world who knows all your stupid relationship and crush bullshit is your sister. She’s been your best friend for your whole life and never wavered. “They both work security, and they’re…” This time when you laugh it’s a slightly embarrassed sound. “They’re really close friends. So I’m trying not to rock any boats by showing interest.”

“Let me guess, there is one of them that’s older and you like that one best?” She knows her sister better than anyone and whether you want to admit it or not, you have an eye for older men.

“Shut up.” There’s no heat whatsoever behind the scolding and you end up laughing at yourself, appreciating that Eliza isn’t beating around the bush with you. “There is, but if you meet him you have to swear not to embarrass me.”

“Ohhhh, I can meet him?” She asks evilly. “Are you bringing him to the wedding?”

“Maybe.” A part of you instantly wishes you hadn’t said anything, but you know that Eliza always has the best advice. “I don’t know. He offered to go shopping with me tomorrow and come to the wedding but then immediately got weird about it and I don’t know what to think. I’m getting super mixed signals from him.”

“Why do you think he got weird about it? Most men get weird about the wedding part, but you said he basically agreed to go with you, right?” She asks.

“He offered, I didn’t even really ask.” The kids in the yard next door are cackling, laughing as they play with their dog, and you watch them so that you don’t relocate to the living room windows downstairs - which gives you a view of Jack’s house. “It’s like…remember I told you I went to a bar earlier in the week and cleaned up some bikers at a pool game?” At the time, you hadn’t exactly told her the entire story.

“Yeah?” On her end of the phone, she ticks her eyebrow up curiously. “Did you go with old handsome?”

“He’s not old!” You both laugh anyway. “But yes. I went with Jack.” There is a longer-than-necessary pause while you debate with yourself, but you end up shrugging your shoulders. “He calls me ‘sugar’, but I really don’t think I should be reading too much into that because even my boss uses nicknames with literally everyone. It’s just a Southern thing.”

“But he wants to go shopping with you?” She reminds you. “Most men hate shopping.”

“It’s not like I’m gonna let him into the dressing room.” You protest, although you immediately think that if he made a move, you probably would.

“Sure you wouldn’t.” Clearly not believing your bullshit, she laughs. “Maybe he has something weird about the date? A Valentine’s Day wedding is very sappy.”

“Maybe. I really don’t know. And I don’t want to pry, ya know? Because as much as I get mixed signals from Jack, Tex has been nothing but sweet.” Talking it out will help, you tell yourself. It absolutely is not just going to pave the way for further frustration…

“But you don’t really want sweet.” She guesses. “Do you? You’ve always been attracted to the troublemakers.”

“I’m pretty sure they’re both trouble.” Another laugh bubbles out of you and you shake your head. “Remember the guy that came back on the jet with me to help me pack? That was Tex.”

“Oh he was cute, you mean the other one is even better looking? You better bring his ass to the wedding.” She huffs. “Bring both of them.”

“You want me to just strut into our cousin’s wedding with a cowboy in either arm?” God…your whole family would just lose their minds…

“Fuck…a girl can dream can’t she?” Your sister giggles. “I’ll be living vicariously through you.”

“Oh please.” Rolling your eyes is a useless gesture because she can’t see you, but you’re sure she can hear it in your voice. “Is having a surgeon for a husband not enough of a bragging right anymore?” You adore her husband - They’ve been together since high school and discovered their soulmate status after she graduated - but that doesn’t mean you won’t tease her. “Picture perfect kids, a successful husband, and your own amazing career aren’t doing the trick these days?”

“Nope.” She has zero shame and you know it. “I want to hear how hot cowboy sex is.”

When you huff at her it’s supposed to be indignant, but it comes out completely agonized. “If I ever have any, I promise I’ll let you know. But I genuinely doubt I have an actual chance.”

“Please, you’re gorgeous and it sounds like both of them are sniffing around.” She teases. “They want your sugar.”

“I never should have told you that,” you groan, knowing it will probably never die now.

“Hell no, you should save a horse and ride a cowboy.” She laughs and loves how you are sounding better. She knows about your loss of a soulmate and how much it has affected you.

“Oookay.” Snickering, you let out a sigh that is actually more like a half-groan and wipe one hand down your face. “Tell the kids I love them, will you? I’m going to see if I can get some sleep. I think I ate my body weight in barbecue today and it’s catching up with me.”

“I will, okay. I love you,” As much as she misses you, it’s best that you have a fresh start and it sounds like Kentucky is a good place for you.

“I love you, too.” Faintly on the other end, you can hear your mother’s dog barking and laugh softly. The sounds of home are absolute comfort and you do miss it. But this is the right place for you to be right now. “I’ll try to text you a sneaky picture of Jack tomorrow.”

“You better.” She warns you with a cackle. “Otherwise I’m going to embarrass you when he comes to the wedding.”

“If.” The nagging feeling you have that he doesn’t want to go is very real, but there’s nothing you can do about it. He either will or he won’t, and that’s that. “I’ll talk to you later in the week.” Another round of goodbyes is murmured before you hang up, and you sit in the window seat a while longer before dragging yourself to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

******

Jack feels like an ass. No– he is an ass. Actin’ like a fucking pup who had been scolded as he shot across the lawn and away from you. There’s nothing coincidental about where your little wedding is being held and he knows that artistically culinary talented you would have made your way to the kitchens even if they were off limits. He just knows it. Now, he’s watching your house like a damned stalker. Wanting to still keep his promises even though you might slam the door in his face. Spending most of the night up, hearing Abigail’s voice in his head, chewing him a new one for not apologizing for his behavior earlier. As soon as he sees movement, Jack is out the door. His jeaned legs eating up the distance between your house and his, ready to go if you're still wanting, and ready to apologize and just let you use his Bronco if you’re not.

Up, showered, and dressed after a night of lousy sleep and bad dreams, you drag yourself downstairs to make a cup of coffee. This coffeemaker is going to be the first thing you replace, you’ve decided, because you can finally afford a fancy espresso machine like you’ve always wanted. Kitchen gadgets are happening today, and it’s going to be a good time. Whether you go alone or otherwise, you tell yourself. Not knowing what the hell happened with Jack yesterday, you’re not assuming you’ll see him. Until your doorbell rings. Hopefully that’s just Jack holding up his promise to come with you, and not some random coworker wondering if you’ll be coming to church with them.

Shuffling on your small porch, Jack adjusts his hat before he swipes it off his head altogether. Nervous as a teenager going to his first dance, Jack rolls his eyes at himself. He just needs to relax, but for some reason he can't. He doesn't like the idea of you being mad at him. His stomach flips as he hears you walking towards the door.

The door swings open without a single creak, and you bite the inside of your lip when you see him standing there on your porch. “Morning, Jack,” you murmur, stepping aside to let him in. Whether this is an excuse not to come out today or an explanation for his departure last night, you have to admit that you’re just glad to see him. It means you probably didn’t do some unknown mysterious horrible thing to make him hate you - which is definitely what every dream you had last night was about.

Your neutral greeting gives him a smidgeon of hope and feels tension draining away in minute amounts. "Sugar, I-" He steps inside and huffs. "I need to apologize for leavin' so quickly yesterday." He turns and stares at you with a repentant expression on his face. "After makin' a fool of myself, I realized we didn't set our plans for today in concrete and while you might not even want the addition of my presence to your outing, I didn't want to be even more of an asshole and not show up." He manages to rattle this off in one breath and stops to inhale. "However, if you're wishin' to not be in my company, I at least want to offer the use of my bronco to you, since that had been a main sellin' point of the day." Offering for someone to drive Betsy is unheard of, but he's pulling his keys out of his leather jacket to extend them to you if you want.

Verbose. Jack Daniels is a verbose man, who can and will turn any four word sentence into four paragraphs. But you don’t hate that - it flies in the face of ‘quick’ communication like texting or shouting across a kitchen. It’s kind of nice, actually, when you’re not generally upset. “Did I say something wrong?” You finally ask, looking from his keys up to the sincere expression of reticence on his face. “Or did I do something to make you leave?”

"No." Jack assures you quickly, shaking his head and wondering how the hell he could possibly explain. "It was all me, sugar. All me and I apologize for worryin' you. It was never- I feel nearly sick at the idea of makin' you think that you had done anything." He's going to just pray you don't ask him for details.

“But everything’s okay?” If it wasn’t you, then it likely was something personal, and he seems like a fairly private person. A conclusion that’s only being reinforced by the fact that he hasn’t actually explained what happened. You decide, though, that you’ve only known the man a week and he doesn’t owe you his life story, so a sincere apology is enough.

"Right as rain, sugar." He manages to paint on a half grin, rocking forward towards you and there is a magnetism that he feels, like he's being drawn to you. "Does this mean you might still want me to squire you around town?" It's old fashioned and a little a lot flirty, but it feels right.

“Do you want a cup of coffee before we go?” Closing the front door is the silent signal that you want him to stay, and you can feel relief coursing through you that he seems to want to do this. The last thing you would ever want to do is drag him along unwillingly.

"If you're havin' one. If not, we can always swing by the best little coffee shop in town." Jack offers, not wanting to inconvenience you.

“We could do that.” Instead of retreating back into the kitchen, you reach for your jacket and purse instead. “A new coffee maker is on the list of things we’re picking up today.”

Jack chuckles as looks at your standard Mr. Coffee maker that was left in the cabins. "Doesn't quite do it for you?" He guesses, figuring you drink those fancy coffees with art made from the foam.

“My very first job was as a barista in a bakery in the town where I grew up,” you tell him. Keys, phone, purse, jacket, you’ve got everything you need so you open the door again and move to set the alarm via the panel on the wall. “I started drinking espresso and never looked back.”

"Figured." He gives a small chuckle and waits for you patiently, his hand moving to the small of your back when the two of you set out of the cabin and you close the door behind you. "Have you set up your biometric lock yet?" He asks, noticing that you are using the fob for the door.

“Not yet.” Keys go into your purse and you close your eyes momentarily against the warmth of his hand at your back. “Someone is coming tomorrow morning to set it up. Then I’ll lock myself in the kitchen at the restaurant and bake cakes all day.”

"What kind of cakes?" Jack immediately starts drooling, imagining what you might make. His sweet tooth is happy at the prospect.

“Well everybody seemed to like the coconut cake, so I think I’ll leave that recipe alone.” He opens the door of the Bronco for you and you slide in, loving that Kentucky in February is warm enough for an open air drive. “I think I’ll work on the red velvet or a hummingbird cake first. Try to nail down the classics.”

"Diana will adore you if you make her a fancy red velvet." Jack promises you as the two of you get situated in the truck and he turns the engine over. "And Champ will adore you for his wife being happy."

“They’re very sweet together.” The older couple have been nothing but lovely and welcoming to you, and you’re grateful for it. “And I wouldn’t dare open a tea room in the south without red velvet cake on the menu.”

"Maybe one of those scone thingys." Jack rolls his eyes. "She's always talkin' about how no one makes scones here."

"I can do scones." Any suggestions he has are more than welcome, as they give you a pretty good idea of what people in the area are actually looking to eat and that helps you focus your energy while you're putting together your menu. "Scones. Tea sandwiches. Maybe tartlets or quiches. I have way too many ideas."

"Was this always your dream?" He asks, pulling onto the main road and heading towards town. It's in the opposite direction of the bar he had taken you to the first time, but it's amusing to think that he has been showing you all the area himself.

"For my career?" You glance at him as he drives, recognizing the placid look of contentment there. He likes to drive, and you file that away in the back of your mind. "I mean, I did have a pretty decent stretch of time as a kid where I wanted to be a princess, and then about a month in middle school when I decided that I wanted to build a time machine, but...yeah. I pretty much always knew I wanted to be a chef. The debate was savory or pastry, and obviously pastry won."

"You're good at both." He promises you with a chuckle, enjoying the sass that seems to come naturally to you. "A princess, huh?" He looks over at you with a grin. "You know that job title comes with a high chance of being stuck in a tower, right?"

"Yeah, but traditionally it also comes with a handsome prince and really good clothes, so nine-year-old me was okay with it." When he laughs softly you grin, glad to see the tension between you has dissipated. "What about you? Was CEO of an international distillery always on your radar?"

"Definitely not." Jack shakes his head and drums his fingers on the steering wheel. "Smaller plans. Much smaller." He thinks about all the dreams him and Abigail had talked about, laying in the dark and holding onto one another. "Just a happy life, family, you know - the normal stuff."

"Not everything happens early in life. Sometimes the best things are worth waiting for." Obviously he never got his wish - or at least he hasn't yet - and you frown slightly. Surely he hasn't had any shortage of offers? He must be waiting for his soulmate, and you can't blame him for that.

"Yeah." It's better to agree instead of laying out his own sob story. He knows it would make you soft, probably make you want to comfort him and although he's enough of a man to appreciate the ways women love to comfort widowers - he can't do that with you. He's already doing more than he needs. He should be maintaining some distance but he can't quite stay away.

"It's none of my business." You know that, and can recognize it, but there's something about Jack that just continues to draw you like a magnet. "But if you ever want to talk about it...you very literally know where I live."

"I appreciate it, sugar." He does, he really does but he doesn't want to talk about that right now. Not when the day is turning out to be a beautiful one.

The drive turns back to pleasanter topics and Jack lets you play with the radio, laughing when you settle on a classic rock station just before he pulls into the parking lot of his little coffee shop. There are plenty of chains around - Louisville is a city after all - but Jack prefers this little place to Starbucks or - according to him - just about any place else.

“The corporate places are okay- don’t get me wrong, but you can’t get that hankering for something unusual and bring in what you need and have them make it for you like you can here.” He offers, opening the door onto the small coffee shop.

The smell is brilliant, hitting you in the face all at once, and you inhale almost greedily. Whatever sweets they're doing here, they're baking fresh. It washes over you and makes you eager to get up to the counter to see what they're working with. "What's your favorite?" You ask Jack, seeing a fairly standard bar menu when it comes to coffee drinks, but a plethora of tea options and syrups for flavor.

Jack grins at you, sure that you’re going to give him a dirty look. “Plain black coffee.”

"I can't believe you don't drink sweet coffee with the way you go after desserts." Is it teasing? Probably. But it's still a surprise.

“The bitterness of the coffee enhances the sweets.” Jack argues, huffing slightly. “I will have some of that syrup in a coffee if I’m not having a pastry with it, but that’s rare.”

"You know you don't have to defend that to me." You nudge him a little as the two of you step into line. "I always put a little coffee in my chocolate things. It amps up the flavor so much."

“Well then you should know.” He grins, eyes greedy as they roam over the case. Trying to see what they have for today. “They change pastries daily.”

"How often do you come in here?" It must be a lot, judging from the way the baristas call their hellos to him by name, and the cup of coffee already waiting for him at the counter when the two of you finally make it to the front of the line.

"It's my go to spot when I'm in town." He admits, shooting the girls behind the counter a wink and a nod for the coffee. "I'll take one of those sausage, maple and blueberry crumb cakes." He tells the one waiting for his pastry order. "They look good."

"Could I have one of the tomato, leek, and goat cheese quiches?" You ask, when the girl nods to Jack and asks you for your order right away. "And a café au lait of whatever your single origin coffee in today." The cashier dutifully types everything in, gets your milk preference, and gets everything moving. "Is it even worth my offering to pay?" You ask Jack, slightly smirking at how you had to bargain to even get him to allow you to pay for lunch when you planned out today.

"Nope." Jack shakes his head and his own wallet comes out. "I don't think you understand how badly my daddy would whoop my ass." He chuckles.

"Thank you for breakfast, then." If it's something he feels strongly about, then you'll learn to pick your battles. He's sure as hell not paying for any of your shopping today. "I wouldn't want your daddy to appear out of nowhere just because I'm stubborn."

"He'd be coming from the grave, so don't put it past him." Jack jokes, shuffling down the line and collecting his cup while you wait for the pastries and your own coffee. "Man could probably convince Satan himself to open the gates of hell to let him come back to whoop me."

You snort, laughing as you bring over plates of warm pastries and your oversized coffee to the table he has chosen. "Sounds like our fathers would have gotten along," you admit ruefully. "I love my dad but he is a ballbuster of the highest degree."

"Something about a father that does that." He murmurs, remembering his own pride at learning he was going to be papa. It had been the proudest seven months of his life.

"Yeah, I noticed that with my brother-in-law." Everything looks amazing, and you hum happily over the first sip of your coffee. Sweet and creamy but not overpowering the natural flavors of the coffee. You might have to see if this shop is interested in partnering, so you can use their coffee in the restaurant.

Jack is damn thankful that you didn't pick up on the momentary flash of pain, maybe he hid it well enough. Instead of saying anything else about it, he just ticks a brow up. "So? Whadya think?"

He had to ask while you have food in your mouth? You roll your eyes at him for a second but grin, nodding as you finish chewing the perfect first bite. Choosing not to say anything about the dark clouds in his eyes was apparently a good choice - you're just desperate not to do anything to rock the boat between you. "It's sooo good," you groan after a second, laughing at your own exaggerated reaction.

"Try some of mine." He offers, nudging a piece of his crumb cake with scrambled sausage, fresh blueberries and dots of real maple syrup over towards you along with his plain coffee.

Immediately offering him the same, you both try each others' breakfasts and hum happily. Whatever this place is using for their house coffee blend, it works gorgeously with maple. You'll have to remember that if they agree to a partnership. "So everything is good here? That's the vibe I'm getting?"

"Eh." Jack shrugs. "I don't like some of their stuff. Their cookies are a little too crumbly. I like 'em soft and chewy."

"How do you feel about shortbread?" The question comes with a raised eyebrow as you switch breakfasts again and file away Jack's cookie preferences. You're still not sure why you're so invested in making sure that everything you make is going to be to his taste, but it feels important that it is.

"Only if they have a sweet jam on top or sandwiched between layers." Jack admits, giving a small shrug.

"You realize that you have been all of my menu consults so far?" You ask him, thoroughly enjoying your breakfast and trying not to look too embarrassed or eager about that fact. "I ought to just call the place Jack's."

The joke makes him grin, contemplating it seriously for a moment before he shakes his head. "You don't have to take all my advice, sugar. I just like what you're offerin'."

"I'm sure I'll make something that doesn't suit you but everyone else likes, and that's fine." It's an inevitability of your career. Not everyone is going to like every single item on the menu. But that's why having multiple testers is important. "Champ's giving me three months to get the place up and running. He wants to have it ready for the summer tourist season, so I'll be asking for plenty more opinions before that time comes."

"I'm sure it will be amazing." Jack praises honestly. "You seem like you have a passion for makin' people happy and their belt tighter."

"Hopefully." The sting is unexpected - how the thought that smacks you out of nowhere is wondering whether or not your soulmate would have liked your baking. "Hopefully."

Jack sees the way your mood shifts, and he knows it's because of him. From what he can tell, you had been looking forward to a future with your soulmate and he's taken that from you. Guilt settles on him and suddenly, he's not hungry anymore.

An uneasy silence settles between you and you know it's your fault, the thick melancholy hanging over your shoulders making you blurt out and unasked for explanation. "My soulmate died," you tell him, not able to actually look him in the eye but staring into your coffee instead. "Less than two weeks ago. So I'm sorry if I get...awkward sometimes. I never met them or anything, it's just...it's hard to adjust to."

His stomach drops and he opens his mouth to confess. To take the look of sadness off your face and replace it with anger. Maybe it would help you. Help you focus on something else, direct your emotions on hating him. His lips part and the words are on the tip of his tongue. "I'm sorry," is what comes out instead. "I know how you feel, losing someone - I mean."

"Did you--?" Your fingers squeeze into fists on the table, curling in on yourself to try to keep from crying in public. Jack is the first person beyond your immediate family that you've told, and saying the words out loud again makes you ache. "Your soulmate?"

He figures it's safe. That if you know he's lost a soulmate you wouldn't think he has your marks on his body. After all, he's never heard of another set of soulmates in real life. It's always that hopeful whisper. "Yeah." He admits, frowning slightly and reaching out for your hands to cover them with his before he realizes he's doing it. "Her and- and our little boy."

"Oh my god..." Immediately feeling mortified, your fingers open to squeeze his instead of letting your nails bite into your palm. "I'm so sorry. Here I am getting upset about someone I never even met and you...you lost both of them. Shit, Jack."

"It was a long time ago." Jack offers, not wanting you to feel even worse than you do. "You just- it's different. You are allowed to grieve, sugar."

"I think it's part of why I took this job," you admit, feeling all the thoughts you've been keeping a lid on come bubbling to the surface. "A new start, ya know? A brand new life. I have no idea what it would have been like if I had known them, but I'm willing to bet anything that I wouldn't be working at Statesman if I had." Something makes you absolutely certain of it, in fact, and that's almost comforting. Everything in this new life is something you'll choose for yourself.

Jack's nodding covers the way that he swallows, knowing that you had no choice in this. The ink on his skin makes sure that you would end up at Statesman. He can only hope that you are happy here. "Statesman was my fresh start." He tells you honestly.

“And look how well you’ve done for yourself.” The smile on your face might actually be pride, except you have no claim over him in any kind of way that would justify that feeling. “All the way to CEO. I don’t think that it’s…any kind of exaggeration at all…to think that she’d be so proud of you.”

He tells himself that you are trying to be nice. Smiling weakly and giving a small shrug. "Hopefully so."

“Well,” you shrug, sensing that the topic isn’t exactly comforting to him, and pick up your coffee again. “I would be, if I were your soulmate.”

Jack closes his eyes and gives a soft chuckle. "If I were your soulmate, you'd hate me, sugar." He tells you, knowing that the secret he keeps from you would completely change your thoughts on him.

“I doubt it.” There are very few people on earth that you actually hate, and you can’t imagine a single thing he could ever do to cause that kind of reaction from you. “But I guess we’ll never know.”

"Yeah." That was true because he knew that no one was going to tell you. You would be happy and safe here at Statesman, maybe meet someone and fall in love with them, never aware that Jack is your soulmate. He frowns deeply at that thought and takes a sip of his coffee as he wonders why he hates that idea.

******

Dragging him around Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma ends up being a fully entertaining morning after an awkward breakfast. The shiny kitchen appliances and soft, fluffy throw pillows and blankets that end up in his Bronco pile up, punctuated with scented candles, a few decor pieces, and a beautiful full set of dishes and glasses for your table. The house stuff is easy, earns you a little teasing here and there, and is done before you know it.

"Where to now, sugar?" Jack asks, raising a brow at everything that is packed in the back. "Your dress or you want some more knick knacks?" He is in an indulgent mood and the slight bickering you had entertained him with had showcased how funny you are.

“Seems like dress time. I think I can put off more knick-knacks for another day.” You laugh and roll your eyes at him playfully. Jack had ragged on you the entire time you were in Bath & Body Works picking out scented candles, just as bad as the search for decor items in Pottery Barn. “You keep teasing me and I’m gonna make you buy me flowers for my new vase.”

"Aww, sugar, now you've gone and ruined my housewarming gift." He huffs, scowling at you playfully. He hadn't really been thinking about getting you flowers, but now that you mention it - it seems like a fine idea. "I'll get you the best ragweed Kentucky has to offer."

“If you do, you’ll lose taste testing privileges.” That is a very real threat, since your allergies affect your senses of smell and taste fairly dramatically. Allergies have cost you more than one exam grade in culinary school.

"No ragweed. Check." Jack drolls, just to make you laugh as he guides the Bronco towards some boutique that the women folk went to. Ginger had designed several outfits for formal affairs off what she had seen there.

“This is fancy.” When he pulls up in front of the building you can see into the big picture windows. Ladies sitting on settees with glasses of champagne that is probably cava - just as delicious at a third of the price - and women in crisp suits toting beautiful gowns in and out of dressing rooms.

"Hopefully you can find something beautiful here." He tells you. "They dress a lot of people around here for fancy things."

“Statesman people for fancy Statesman things?” You both climb out of the truck and he leads you to the door, giving you the feeling once more that all his gentlemanly behavior is just how he is with women and has nothing to do with you. Which is fine. It is. You’re just trying to talk your crush down off that ledge before you do or say something stupid. “I’m sure I’ll find something.” But your credit card will be laid respectfully to rest after today for a very long time.

"Sometimes." Jack grins. "We get a hell of a discount here."

“Now you’re talking my language.” The grin you shoot him is broad, morphing into something infinitely more amused when the woman behind the counter recognizes him immediately. “Mr. Daniels!” She practically purrs. “What can we do for you on this beautiful day?”

"Now Stephanie..." Jack turns and introduces you to the shop owner. "This here is our newest Statesman employee and she's lookin' for a dress." He tells her. "And of course, your shop was the first and only one I could recommend to her."

“Oh, you’re too kind.” She titters, downright blushing like he’s just outright flirted. It makes your stomach twist in something awful like jealousy. “My dear, what occasion do you need to be dressed for?”

“Um…a formal wedding.” You know you should have taken care of this ages ago, but if you’re honest with yourself you had just figured you would raid your sister’s closet and called it a day. She has plenty of nice things. “Black tie optional, the invitation said.”

"Black tie." She purses her lips and cuts her eyes over at Jack playfully. "I'm assuming you're attending and wearing the velvet Tom Ford we tailored to you with the black stetson?" She asks, tapping her finger to chin thoughtfully. "We will get a bow tie and pocket square that matches the color of the dress we find her." She decides.

“I really appreciate the help.” That’s undeniable. Clearly you hadn’t managed to get this done just by walking through a mall. “The, uh…the wedding colors are pink and white…if that helps? Obviously no one wears white to a wedding but I guess no pink, either?”

"Red is a no-no." She hums and her eyes light up as she thinks of a dress. "What about a blush champagne colored dress?" She offers. "I have a new design I just got in and it would look magnificent with your coloring."

"That sounds like a good place to start." You nod gratefully and let her whisk the pair of you over to one of the smaller sitting areas beside a dressing room. As soon as she disappears down a hallway another young woman appears with drinks and all but winks at Jack when she hands his over.

Jack winks back at her and nods in appreciation of the drink before he turns to you. "What do you think of this place?" He asks, looking around at it like he hasn't been there a hundred times.

"I have a feeling I'm nowhere near the first woman you've brought here for a dress." It's just an observation, and you try very hard not to sound sour about it, but your stomach is churning as you set your drink down on the small table beside you. "It's nice. They obviously take pride in their business."

"Well, I've brought Astrid, Gabriella, Diana when she wanted to surprise Champ." Jack ticks off names playfully, aware that's not how you meant it, but it's kind of rewarding to see the tinge of jealousy in your eyes.

"I do...appreciate you doing this." There is absolutely no reason to be jealous. Just because you have a stupid crush on the man does not mean he owes you anything. "I know it's a big ask, this whole weekend away thing. Even more so because we really just met."

He gives you a smile, shoving down the worries and insecurities under the veneer of confidence. "It's not a big deal, we'll go and drink, dance, have some canapés and you'll tell me who is the family black sheep and I'll make friends with them."

You snort, shaking your head at him and reaching for your drink as an anchor. "You already have," you tell him honestly. "I'm her."

"Now why would you be the black sheep?" Jack huffs, shaking his head at the mere thought.

"It's more like my family are the black sheep family out of the whole extended group." Having very independent and capable parents with strong opinions had meant that you and your siblings turned out just as independent and opinionated. "But my siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles and all of that...even my parents...they all have really incredible success stories in their education and careers, and everyone in my family has married their soulmate. No one is even going to believe that the restaurant is real. They all turned up their noses when I chose pastry in culinary school. Apparently bakers can't be celebrity chefs, and if I'm not a celebrity chef then I'm nobody." You shrug, long having since given up on gaining the approval of your extended family. "My parents and my siblings are great. And that's really all I care about."

"Ahhhh." Jack nods as he settles back in his chair. "I bet you would blow their fifty dollar socks off when you get your tea room set up. Have you come up with a name yet?"

"I'm still debating." One sip from your glass proves that you were right about the theory that it was cava to save money, but it's still a lovely glass of bubbly. "An Alice in Wonderland reference probably won't mesh with the general feeling around Statesman, so I might name it after my grandmother."

Jack gives a small shrug. "You could always call it The Rabbit-Hole and use the Red Rabbit Burrow blend they are working on marketing for." He tells you, thinking about the new line that is about to come out.

You stare, mouth open, and a hollow laugh sticks in your throat while your brain vaguely short circuits. If you had known about this new blend, you would already have the name down on the paperwork. "I could kiss you." Is the declaration that comes out of your mouth instead, gratitude and giddy glee reaching all the way to your toes. "Jack, that's perfect!"

It's on the tip of his tongue to take you up on that offer, watching your eyes light up with delight and joy. Making you seem even more beautiful than you normally are. "It's going to be launching in about five months." He tells you with an offhand shrug. "I can get you a few gallons to sample and experiment with if you want."

"That would be amazing." You're already itching to get your hands on it, wondering what the tasting notes will be like and what you can pair it with. "The Rabbit-Hole." Humming happily, you barely manage to keep your little wiggling happy dance under wraps when the woman - Stephanie - comes back with a handful of dresses.

Jack takes your glass of champagne from you and smirks. “Go play with the dresses and pretend you're a princess, sugar.” He winks and motions you off.

The large handful of dresses that Stephanie has reappeared with are grand and sparkling in tone of gold, champagne, and rose that will obviously compliment a pink-themed wedding but not upstage it. She seems to have picked out a style she likes for you - glamorous and evoking a bombshell look that would guarantee that the first person anyone in the room looks at after the bride, will be you. "These are stunning," you breathe, letting your fingers graze the sequins on the first dress on the rack. "I've never worn anything like them. But...I guess after today I won't be able to say that."

“Try them all on.” Jack encourages you. “We don’t have anywhere else to be.”

He's right, of course. The only other plan you have today is to have dinner together, so you disappear into the fitting room to swap your clothes for the first dress that might wind up in your closet by the end of the afternoon. The cut is flattering and the color is brilliant, but it doesn't quite feel right in some amorphous way that you can't quite put your finger on. Still, you step out to show Jack and see what he has to say.

Jack whistles and his eyes drag up and down your body. “Damn, sugar.” He huffs. “How do you like it?”

You can't help preening a little, even though you're sure he would compliment absolutely anyone he was with the same way. "It's nice, but I don't think it's quite right. I do love the color, though."

“Well then I guess we can mark that off the list.” Jack smirks. “Next one sugar.”

The next two dresses are nixed - one by you and one by Jack, who insists that the skirt doesn't fall right and you just end up smiling and nodding because you're trying not to spontaneously combust from him paying so much attention to your figure. When you go back into the dressing room, you skip the next one that Stephanie had chosen for you and go straight to the last, sighing over the flowers embroidered all over the dress and its accompanying sheer cape. The rose coloured fabric is darker than the Barbie-pink you know your cousin has chosen and the purple and gold accents make it fascinating to watch shimmer. It's gorgeous and the price tag makes you wince, but you have to try it on.

When you step out of the dressing room, Jack immediately stands and sweeps his hat off his head as he stares. “This- this is the one, sugar.” His body tells him that he really likes the way you look and he motions towards the mirror. “What do you think?”

"It's amazing." His reaction doesn't hurt either, and you turn to face the wall-sized mirror beside your dressing room. The cape falling around your shoulders is the closest to being a princess you'll ever come, and you glance at Jack over your shoulder as you watch your reflection. "It's so comfortable," you admit, laughing that that is so exciting to you when you're wearing such a gorgeous piece of art.

“So this is the one? Yeah?” Jack waits for you to nod and then turns to Stephanie. “Does there need to be any alterations?”

"A slight hem, depending on what shoes your friend will be wearing." Stephanie smiles, making sure to stay polite. "Oh...I guess I do need shoes, don't I?" Turning around in place, you look between them both. "I'm not too steady on high high heels, but...can a hem be done this week? The purchase is...sort of last minute." "I can have it done by mid week for you." Stephanie assures you, stepping forward to inspect the dress on your body and make sure she's correct that nothing more needs to be done. "We do have some heels here, if you would like to look. Gold will work well, or we can dye a fabric pair to match the gown if you prefer."

Jack chuckles. “Go check the shoes out, sugar.” As much as he doesn’t ‘shop’, he’s enjoying himself. Enjoying learning things about you. Maybe it’s crazy, he doesn’t know, but he looks at it like he’s taking care of you. Making you happy.

With a few very careful steps, you get down from the little platform that your dressing room was on and follow the saleswoman around the corner to a large display of heels in nearly two dozen shapes, styles, and heights. There are so many that it’s a bit overwhelming, but your eyes settle on a pair with intricate caging and open toes that will strap onto your feet and hopefully not move an inch all night. Something worth putting up with high heels for. “What about these?” You ask out loud, almost afraid to see this price tag on top of the dress.

Stephanie chuckles, actually chuckles and admires the boldness of your choice. “They are statement pieces, aren’t they?” She reaches for the shoes and pulls them off the display. “They are gorgeous and actually probably some of the more comfortable heels. Let me get your size and we will see how they look?”

“Thank you.” Your fingers subtly stroke the fabric of the dress as she retrieves your shoe size from the back and you walk back to where Jack is waiting.

Jack looks up, still in awe of the way the dress looks on you and gives you a smile. “Are they dying shoes or did you find some?”

“I saw a nice gold pair. Hopefully they have my size.” There’s only a moment of hesitation before you go back into the dressing room, retrieving your cell phone from your pants pocket to bring it out to him. “Would you…mind taking a picture? I…it’s silly. I just really want to show my sister.”

“One without the shoes and one with?” Jack guesses with an indulgent and slightly naughty grin. “I never have a problem taking a picture of a beautiful woman, sugar.”

Stephanie returns with the shoes while your face is still burning from Jack’s compliments. Absolutely no part of this is what you figured today would be like. You had pictures hunting through the dress department at Dillard’s quickly so as not to bore Jack, coming up with something passable but unremarkable. This is an altogether opposite experience to that - and definitely the closest to being a princess that you’ve ever felt.

Jack hums as Stephanie brings the shoes over and you sit down on one of those little poofy circle things women love. Standing, he moves over to you. “Let me help you put them on, sugar.” He murmurs silkily as he drops down to one knee in front of you and takes the shoes from the other woman.

It’s a damn Cinderella moment and all you can do is sit, frozen, trying not to react to the strength and gentleness of Jack’s large hands working the delicate straps on the heels. It’s not that you have a foot fetish, or anything even akin to it. It’s the warm way your skin tingles under his touch and the absolute intimacy of helping someone get dressed that have you holding your breath while Stephanie makes her unnoticed escape. You two clearly ought to be left alone.

He’s never thought of a foot as pretty. Never given them much thought beyond walking and laughing then Abigail had stuck her feet in his lap and demanded foot rubs for carrying his boy. He had acquiesced every time willingly. Now he keeps his fingers light as they move, sliding across your skin or holding your heel while he slips the heels on and buckles the straps.

It’s soft. Gentle. And you have no fucking clue why having him help you with your shoes has you in the verge of tears but here you are. Once they’re in place you shift slightly on the pouf, not sure that you want to break the spell of whatever the hell was just happening, but you need to see if the damn things are actually going to work for you. “Would you…?” You hold your hands out to him awkwardly, asking for help up.

“Of course, sugar.” Jack stands and dusts off his pants before he offers his hand to you with a wink and a slightly embellished flourish. “A Princess should not stand on her own.”

The way you huff is quiet - almost mournful but more like boarding indignant as he helps you to stand and just keeps you in front of him like this. Looking you over like it’s his privilege instead of a right. “If you treat the women you’ve just made friends with like this,” you observe, trying to shake off how special it makes you feel. “I don’t understand how somebody hasn’t snatched you up since being single.” You shrug, a little gesture but an honest one. “That’s just to say…your wife was a very lucky woman.”

“No sugar, I was the lucky one.” He promises, shoving down the wave of sadness and bitterness so he can concentrate on you. You deserve to feel beautiful at this moment. “Remember, manners maketh man.”

“Not in a dress shop, I hope.” A little smile crosses your lips, remembering he had said the same thing before taking those bikers to task a week ago. “And…it’s possible for you both to have been lucky. That’s—that’s what finding a soulmate is. At least…that’s what it seems like.”

It slips out, the dreaded words he hated for so long. “Maybe you will be lucky and have another soulmate.” He murmurs, knowing that according to the universe - you do.

You’ve heard those words before. From your father and brother, mostly, and you paint on the patient smile that you offered both of them when they said it. “Second soulmates are a fairy tale,” you remind him gently. “They don’t happen in real life. I’ll— I’ll just be glad if I ever find somebody willing to put up with my own specific brand of weird bullshit. That’s the dream now.” Companionship, not true love. That’s the best that you’ll dare to hope for.

He sees the brittleness in your smile because he has been far less kind with those words spoken to him. “I know.” He murmurs. “We just have to say it, right? It’s almost required.”

“Right.” You nod, stepping away from him before you say something incredibly stupid, and move back to the mirror to see the dress with these shoes on. It’s a spectacular combination and your smile softens, wondering what your soulmate would have thought of this kind of glamor.

Jack takes the picture you asked for and hands you back the phone. “Excuse me for a moment, sugar. Too much champagne, and I need to use the facilities.” He steps away, disappearing from the private dressing room.

******

“Mr. Daniels.” Stephanie’s head pops up from the front desk in surprise when she spots him, looking like he’s slinked away from where he was supposed to be. “Did you require assistance?”

“Sure can, darlin’.” Jack pulls out his wallet and lays down his credit card. “Everything she wants goes on this card. Tell her that it’s on the Statesman account and she’ll be billed at a heavy discount.” He requests, needing to buy that dress for you for some strange reason.

“You don’t want her to know it’s a gift?” She asks, head tilting slightly like she’s intrigued at the request.

“No.” Jack shakes his head adamantly. “This is a secret between you and me.” He makes it seem more charming with a wink and a flash of a flirty smile.

“Alright.” She’s damn well not going to question it. Not when she makes a commission. “Shall I encourage your friend to peruse our jewelry and clutches to complete the outfit, or would you prefer to keep the purchase small?”

“Whatever she wants.” Jack reiterates. Perhaps some of it is that underlying guilt that springs up around you, but this is mostly to make sure you look amazing at an event where your family will be.

“Very good.” Offering him a nod, she enters his credit card information into the purchase order under your name and hands it back with a smile. “If it’s not overstepping, the two of you do make a very sweet couple.”

“I wouldn’t be good for her.” Jack murmurs as he shoves his wallet back into his back pocket and sighs. “Now to actually use the bathroom.”

When Jack does return several minutes later, you are changed back into your own clothes and pour over a small display of gold earrings with Stephanie. “Hey!” Your smile is wide and true, eyes lighting up when you see him. “For a second there I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m harder to shake than a tic on a dog’s ass, sugar.” Jack jokes, just to make you giggle at his inappropriate comeback.

“Noted,” you snicker, even more amused because Stephanie looks so horrified. “I swear I’m almost done here, and then we can get dinner.”

“Take your time, sugar. The decorations make the cake more delicious.” Jack muses.

“He says to a baker.” This time you throw him a wink, deciding that playful things are just that much more fun today. It doesn’t matter that he’s just being kind, whereas you would willingly and easily drag him into that dressing room to find out exactly how much of that cocky attitude actually comes from his cock.

Grinning, he can’t help the way that his cock twitches in his jeans. You are a sexy woman and even more so when you are playful. He likes that in a woman. “So go on and pick out your doodads.” He motions towards the display case. “Gotta work up an appetite.”

Doodads. You shake your head, feeling the action be much more affectionate than you meant for it to be, and turn back to the case of jewelry in various colors, tones, and styles. The earrings you end up picking are simple but beautiful sparkling gold stud, and a nearby soft fabric clutch in gorgeous metallic gold. Stephanie tries directing you to other pieces like elaborate bracelets, but you just end up wrapping your hand around the simple gold cuff you wear every day on your wrist. It was a gift from your sister and you haven't skipped wearing it a day in the three years since she gave it to you. "I think this is plenty," you announce, when you really understand that she isn't going to stop pushing. It's fine - she probably works on commission and you're making her a lot of money today. But you're not replacing the bracelet your sister gave you for any reason. "Dress, shoes, earrings, and a purse. That's more than I expected to do today, anyway."

“Alright.” Stephanie wants to tell you to spend more money. She knows Jack Daniels can afford it, but you aren’t supposed to know. “I don’t think with the heels you need any hemming, so would you like to take the dress with you now?”

“Please.” The placid smile on your face belies how excited you actually are about the dress - it’s just your credit card bill you’re dreading. “I really appreciate all your help today. I would have been lost on my own.”

“I love helping people dress for special occasions.” Stephanie tells you brightly and scans all the items, wrapping them up and putting them in a boutique bag before pulling out a garment bag for the dress.

“My cousin’s wedding is sure to be memorable.” That’s just the sort of person she is - a very big personality that should never be silenced. You shift your purse off your arm at the counter, digging for your wallet to hand over your credit card.

“That’s great.” Stephanie zips up the dress and smiles at you as she pushes the bag forward. “Well, I hope you enjoy it and have a great rest of your day.”

"I--um..." Standing there with your credit card out, you tilt your head and furrow your brow at the shop employee. "I haven't paid yet," you remind her gently.

“Don’t worry about that.” She waves away your card with a smile. “It’s been put on Statesman’s account.” She explains breezily. “It will be billed to you, at a heavy discount.”

"Oh." Vaguely wondering how many local businesses Statesman simply has an account at, you put your card away and give the woman a slightly dazed nod as you accept the bags she has packed for you. "Well-I...thank you, again."

Jack winks at Stephanie and nods at her politely before taking your bags. “Are we ready, sugar?”

"We're ready." This whole we and sugar business is the kind of thing that makes you feel like a schoolgirl - like you're going to go home tonight and call your sister from bed while you kick your legs and gleefully recall every detail of every interaction. And fuck - who knows - maybe you will. He's been wonderful today. Completely relieving you of any worry you had last night. "Time for dinner?"

“Only if you are ready for the best collards and cornbread you’ve ever stuffed in your sweet lookin’ little mouth.” The urge to compliment you is just too much. Depending on what he says, he gets a sassy comeback or you turn charmingly shy. Both are perfect in Jack’s book.

The eyebrow you raise in his direction is matched by a smirk, and you can’t help yourself. He’s getting more outlandish in his comments and it’s either a Southern thing that you just don’t have up in New England, or he might actually be flirting. “Been thinking about my mouth today, have you?”

“It’s a nice mouth.” Jack opens the door to the shop and lets you proceed him. “The day a man doesn’t think about a mouth that is sassy and sweet, sour and sugary, well - it’s the day they put him in the ground.”

You practically gasp at the admission, taking the garment bag with your gown and carefully arranging it amongst all the other boxes and bags in the back of the Bronco when you get outside. “So you’ve actually been flirting with me and I’m the idiot who just caught on?”

Jack shuffles, looking for the world like a man who’s gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar. He had been flirting and he hadn’t even realized it, the feeling so natural with you. Jack Daniels claims to be a born flirt, but ninety percent of it is an act. He hadn’t been acting with you. “Yes?” He asks, slightly worried that it might offend, given what you had said earlier.

He sounds worried, and you almost round the car to press a kiss to his cheek right there. But since the two of you had a short but legitimate conversation this morning about your dead soulmates, you decide not to push it and to just move with the flow of teasing. He seems to like it, and you have to admit to loving finding out that this man returns your attraction. “Good,” you hum, instead of doing anything sappy or too forward. “Keep it up.”

Jack’s grin is slow and he winks at you after he hops into the Bronco again, defying the need for the door. “Bossy lady.” He teases as he turns the key and the engine roars to life. “Easiest order ever, sugar.”

“I just know what I like, that’s all.” The victorious grin that overtakes your face settles there and stays as he pulls out onto the main road. You know what you like and you like him - right from the first second you saw him. It’s just that simple.

Jack drives you about five miles from the dress shop. The outside of the restaurant doesn’t look appealing, it’s the same facade of any strip mall in anywhere U.S.A. For Jack, that was part of the charm. Looks were deceiving. “Here we are, sugar.”

The outside looks like nothing at all, but through the glass windows you can see a line at the cafeteria counter that goes almost to the door. “Looks like we’re just in time for the dinner rush,” you shoot him a grin. “Perfect. Everything will be fresh.”

“Get two scoops of the collards or you’ll be waiting on a new pan.” Jack warns you, smirking as he opens the door and the scent of the buffet wafts out.

“Oh my god it smells like heaven.” The second you’re through the door you’re salivating, eagerly hopping into line with Jack at your side. “It smells like my grandmother’s house in here.”

“Your grandma cooked like this?” Jack asks, arching an eyebrow at you doubtfully.

“You think my coconut cake story was a lie?” You challenge him, grin twisting into the corner of your lips. “Grandma Jane was born and raised in Virginia. She only moved north after my older brother was born. According to her, being a long-distance granny simply was not an option.”

“Well then, let’s see if they cook as good as Grandma Jane from Virginia.” Jack teases, sending you a wink as the two of you get in line.

The building is absolutely packed to the gills, busy employees and happy customers all buzzing with their own energies. You and Jack slowly make your way up to the front of the line where regulars are being greeted by name, and you grin when one very maternal woman behind the counter lights up at the sight of him - this man seems to make an impression wherever he goes.

"Miss Mary, how are you doin' today?" Jack coos as he shuffles forward with you, a grin on his face and he sweeps his hat off his head and snatches her hand to kiss it playfully.

“Always missin’ you, Jack,” the woman laughs, swatting at him ineffectually and obviously enjoying this ritual playful flirtation. “You been in New York again? We ain’t seen you in a dog’s age.”

"No ma'am." Jack shakes his head mournfully. "Work pulled me farther away than New York, otherwise you know I would be flyin' down to sample your famous biscuits." He motions towards you and introduces you to the older woman. "Just had to show our newest Statesman member the best damn home cookin' around."

“Well, welcome, honey!” She shifts her attention to you with a beaming smile. “What is it you’re doin’ over there at the distillery, sweetheart?” “I’m a chef, actually.” You flash her a grin as if you’re both guilty of the same crime. “Brand new to the area, and I asked Jack to show me his favorite place. So here we are.”

"Oh well, I don't know if our cookin' 'ill be up to your standards, but let me know what you think." She looks impressed at the fact that you are a chef, as if running a wildly successful restaurant doesn't qualify her for the same thing. "Sweet Jack here was one of my first customers and sometimes he can be a little biased."

“I haven’t had real Southern cooking in about three years, so I’m excited to dig in.” You tell the woman honestly, making sure not to react to the inquisitive look on Jack’s face that you’re sure you’ll be answering for later. “I’m sure Jack’s bias is completely earned.”

Mary flusters, looking extremely pleased and flattered as she shoos you past. "Well you just enjoy and tell me all about it, you hear?" She demands, motioning you towards the drink station. "Get the sweet tea, honey. It's the real star of the show."

“I’m under orders, I guess. Not that anyone needs to encourage me to drink more sweet tea.” Turning to Jack as you move down the line together, you can see the question still in his eyes. “My grandmother died three years ago,” you explain. “There’s nowhere to get good Southern food in New Hampshire, and…cooking it myself hurt a little too much. Made me miss her too much. So I haven’t made anything except her coconut cake since the funeral.”

"I'm sorry, sugar." Jack knows about loss that just cripples you. He's lived with it for so long, he's functioning. At least as much as he could with his heart ripped out of his chest.

“Thank you.” It’s not ‘okay’, so you won’t say so even off-handedly, but you do slip the thin gold band from your wrist and show him the words written inside: Beautiful girl, you can do hard things. “My little sister had these made a few months later. It’s what she always used to tell us when we were worried or scared. So…she’s still with me. I know it’s not the same as losing your wife and son, but…I get what it feels like. Being so sad you can’t even open your eyes in the morning. I know that feeling.”

Jack stares at the phrase, his own eyes pricking with tears and he nods. "Loving someone is a curse sometimes, as much as it is a privilege."

“It is.” You nod and slip the band back on your wrist. “But that doesn’t mean we should stop. It just means the next person should be worth loving.”

Jack can't comment on that. Not when he's vowed to never love someone again. His own tea in hand, it's a silent perusal for a table, one set up in a small corner and he points to it. Unsure of if you will like it. He knows the silence is his fault, but how could he tell someone that he is wearing their tattoo that loving someone else wasn't in the cards for him.

It’s telling, the way chatty and openly flirtatious Jack clams up at your point of view, and you follow him to the table with a flash of melancholy in your understanding. He’s the kind of man who will simply never let go. No one will ever take his wife’s place and anyone that’s drawn his eye since is just a distraction. And for the life of you, you can’t understand why that makes your chest feel hollow and empty the way it does.

He hates that he's put a pall over the outing and once the teas are set down, he reaches for your hand. "Sorry, sugar." He murmurs softly. "It's just— it's hard to talk about. I don't mean to make you feel bad."

“Oh, I’m fine.” Lying through your teeth is what you are, but you smile for him anyway and squeeze his hand. “I think I went too long without eating, that’s all. It can affect my mood. Nothing to worry about.” Swallowing the lump squeezing your heart, you manage to find his eyes. “You can always talk to me. If you want to, I mean.”

"I appreciate that." He does, but he can't. Not without giving away the real issue. It's like your tattoo is burning and he rubs his arm absentmindedly. "Why don't we get you some grub and we can talk about less haunting things?"

“Sure.” You find yourself nodding around him quite a lot, content to be led by him through this new world you’re navigating. After all, you do like him. And Jack’s never given you a single reason not to trust him. “That sounds like a plan.”

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[thejujvtsupost]

Can you plz do a geto surguru x sorcerer reader story maybe a bit angst like from him leaving and the reader heartbroken but doesn't care and joins him cuz she loves him, something of that sort? I'm not picky I just wish for my of geto surguru 😭🥺

He Left You // From Afar

Hiiii anon I’ve got a drabble for you! I struggle with Geto angst of any kind especially from his defection era because he really just needs a hug and some counseling but I did my best 💗

Notes: F!reader, angst, reader is a sorcerer, established relationship, light stalking, comfort??, don’t be like them they’re both a little crazy making wild choices, Geto doesn’t start a cult- he just leaves the jujutsu world behind, We live in a river in Egypt bc none of that is canon forgive me.🥴

Geto leaves overnight and thus leaves you behind. You were suffering too, you were depressed too, and he had the audacity to leave you and Gojo- his supposed best friend- behind. You hated him for it.

For months you were bitter from the abandonment and his defection. No news of his whereabouts, zero contact. He left you.

Geto couldn’t stay. He couldn’t watch his friends be exploited and killed too young. Just like Haibara, sent out alone on a mission he had no business being involved in.

He couldn’t stay but he couldn’t completely leave either. Unbeknownst to you, he was hiding but never too far.

Of course he couldn’t leave you behind truly. You held his heart, and after two months, he cracked and started looking after you.

From afar. Far enough that you wouldn’t pick up on his energy, far enough that you wouldn’t be reminded of his abandonment.

It hurt to stay away but he made his bed to lie in. That’s what he told himself every time he was tempted to reach out to you or Satoru. He let your graduation pass by and soon your lives were moving forward without him.

But you… eighteen months after he left- he returned.

He returned to your apartment and waited for you to come home from the stupid date he spotted you on. You were wearing that little red dress he loved so much on you to meet with some other man.

Fine, he would admit that he was jealous. Leaving meant he couldn’t keep you. But you were still his. Still his doll, his love.

And his love was unlocking her door while bidding her date farewell. At least he was a gentleman.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” This was the first time in eighteen months you laid eyes on him. You were furious.

“How did you even- what. No. Get out. Now.” Your voice was already cracking.

God he missed you so badly, the fire in your eyes was captivating even if he was on the receiving end. “You’re dating?”

“Are you stalking me or something? That’s not your business, you left me. You left me and I was alone- not even a breakup text-” the tears started flowing freely, your heart couldn’t take it.

“I’ve been checking on you every so often, wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Do I fucking look okay to you?” You left him standing in the living room, a man wasn’t going to prevent you from being comfortable in your own apartment.

“Gorgeous actually.” He followed you, only waiting outside your bedroom door so you could change. He at least had the civility to not cross your boundaries. You hated that you were blushing so easily.

Once into your comfortable clothes, you slam the door open and cross the hall into your bathroom to remove your makeup before it could stain your face further.

Of course he followed you, taking a moment to lean against the door frame and admire you closer than he had in over a year.

Then his arms were snaking around your waist from behind. “But you should know you’re always gorgeous.” He continued his thought from a few minutes prior. He knew he couldn’t sway you with a few compliments but that wasn’t going to stop him from telling the truth.

You were paralyzed and unable to meet his gaze in the mirror, you could easily push him away and you didn’t want to. You hated that he still felt like home.

You hated that you turned around and were relaxing into his embrace, spiraling down into sobs when he held you tighter against him and rubbed his hand down your back in a soothing manner. “I hate you so much. You can’t pop in and out of my life Suguru, I won’t let you break me again. I can’t handle it.”

“I want you to come with me, doll. I didn’t want to leave you behind but I couldn’t stay there- I just couldn’t.” He started choking up, “I’ve been off the grid in a cabin, come with me? Please?”

Could you actually just leave like he did? Your friends, job, entire life? All to be with Suguru?

“I won’t cut all contact.”

“You don’t have to, phones exist.”

“And I’m not giving up Netflix or the internet.”

“I live in a cabin, not the wilderness doll.” This wasn’t a laughing matter but he couldn’t help but be fond of your stubbornness. “I have power and internet.”

Could you really leave everything behind?

Yeah. Yeah, you could.

Thinking of making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open! <3

[pixeldistractions]

Only bring what you can carry, he said. So Maria packed as little as she could imagine and she still couldn’t carry all of that. Never mind that Johanna was too small to pull her own suitcase.

They’d be back in December to decide what to do with the rest of the house. They had until the end of her lease in February to decide. That was for the best maybe. Maria was under no illusions about Jordan’s track record of indecisiveness, and if she intended to bind herself to that runaway train, she would do it mindfully. It was wild and unhinged and completely instinctual, but also, Maria had never felt so adult, making this decision for herself and her little girl. They all might have their opinions, but nobody could tell her what to do. And she didn’t feel wrong for it, no matter what a runaway train he might be. For a man who had so little in the way of monetary possessions, she never felt more protected than in his arms. If he said they would be okay, then she would believe him.

Knock, knock. Lou was at the door.

Lou made a face at the disarray of semi-packed suitcases on the floor. “So you’re really doing it?”

Maria didn’t answer that question.

“How am I gonna stop by to see you after work?”

“Guess you’ll have to get on a train,” Maria said with as snotty a tone as she could muster.

She went back to the floor to continue her packing, but she didn’t end up moving a single thing.

“I know how you feel,” Maria said. “I really do. A lot has happened since, but when he first told me, I was heartbroken. It’s like, this whole person is part of your life for so long, and then they decide to just go? I guess that’s what I’m doing too, isn’t it? It’s pretty shitty, I know it is. But people can’t stand still around you forever. People change and grow and move, and you can move with them or let them go. But we’ll be back. And you’re single and child-free and not broke. You can visit us, too. You should travel more, there’s a whole world to see. And you’re welcome with us any time. We’re still family.”

“God, you’re so sappy,” Lou said, wiping her eyes. “Why is my face leaking?”

“Aw, I love you too.”

Lou came to sit on the floor next to piles of folded laundry and unmarked boxes. Her nose tickled with dust.

“Please don’t tell Mom and Dad yet,” Maria begged. “Give me a week or two?”

“Don’t you think they’ll notice when you don’t need them to watch JoJo while you work?”

“I was going to bring JoJo out to see Jordan next month,” Maria said. “I’ll just say we went early.” 

“They’re going to miss her. They’ll be sad.”

“I don’t know about sad,” Maria said. “Mom thinks I’m a burden.”

“She never said that.”

“She doesn’t have to say it. She would never. Joseph died a war hero, so she so can’t say it because she doesn’t want to look bad. But I know she wished I never got married and knocked up and widowed at twenty-one in the first place, then she wouldn’t be honor bound to help me. She thinks I’m a wreck. She already raised her children, and she never wanted to help raise a grandchild, too. Well, now she doesn’t have to worry about us anymore.”

“Well, damn, sis. I don’t know about all that, but she’s still gonna worry, for sure! Just like, don’t get knocked up again.” 

“Ha ha,” Maria snarked.

“I’m serious,” Lou said. “There was a birth control recall! You need to refill it.”

“Oh.” 

“Okay.” Lou took a breath and sat up tall. Lawyer mode activated. “So you need to bring JoJo’s birth certificate, and Joseph’s death certificate, too. Did you put a hold on your mail? Do you want to give me a key to check up on things? Put travel alerts on your credit cards. Auto pay your rent while your gone. Pay your own way, and keep your money separate from his. Holy shit, you crazy fool. What the fuck are you gonna do in Nevada?”

Maria grinned. “I don’t know yet. I have no idea!”

“Thank you,” Maria said, ambushing her with a hug. Having her sister’s blessing meant the world to her, even if she never listened to a damn thing her sister ever said.

— from “boxes and squares #4.5: home is wherever you are, part 3” (9/11)

story notes: I always felt Maria had a little tension with her parents. She’s not as close to them as Lou is, or as close as she is to Lou. So now we know why?

Next ->

[remythologise]

You win as always I just started watching IWTV hope it won’t disappoint but I trust you completely after Black Sails.

Do you have the list of the things you would force people to watch if you could?

This is such a delightful ask thank you so much!! I look forward to hearing your thoughts when you finish season 2!!!

It’s definitely a harder question because I do force people to watch it based on their tastes (i.e. I have forced my Tumblr besties to watch at least three different movies released in 2011 for gay subtext as the main recommendation factor but would not do this to my work colleagues)… HOWEVER!!! Based on broad factors of what I HAVE in the past forced my friends/loved ones to watch these are the winners…

ROMANCE/ROM-COM Crash Landing on You This is the best rom com ever made.* Nothing has ever brought my mom AND dad to laughter, tears, and had them BOTH proclaim ‘5 stars’. I cannot recommend this show strongly enough to anyone who has remotely liked a single rom com, ever.**

COMEDY Galavant Niche audience of people who love fantasy and musicals includes ME motherfucker!

Honourable mention: Deadloch, Utopia (AU), Derry Girls This is really just a series of non-American comedies I would recommend to people if they hadn’t seen it. Deadloch specifically I am SHOCKED and APPALLED more people on Tumblr are not on top of and AM continually threatening my friends with a gun to watch it, or else!!

HORROR Hannibal and IWTV Both absolutely all-time must watches but only for people that would be into that sort of thing (sickos with taste) and not look at me weirdly afterwards for recommending it.

CRIME/THRILLERS The Devil Judge and Beyond Evil Crazy how these two shows came out at like, the same time, were both so similar in terms of the Wildly Gay Subtextual Leads Dynamic and so good. And they (were) both on Netflix!! Beyond Evil is definitely more refined BUT The Devil Judge is also so good and wild and such camp fun… you couldn’t go wrong with either if you enjoy having a fun gay time, particularly not if you like shows just to the left of Hannibal/IWTV.

FANTASY  Word of Honour and The Untamed These are not all-timers because they are ‘objectively well-made’ they are all timers because I shake my friends by the shoulders and yell "I had the absolute most fun gay fantasy romance time watching them and you will too!"

HISTORICAL Spartacus and Black Sails Everyone talks about Black Sails on this website but not enough people talk about how Spartacus walked so Black Sails could run. Much more extreme R-rated and/or triggering content in Spartacus though so I do understand. Nevertheless something I do end up recommending to my male friends a lot (and they love it!!).

SCI-FI  Dark REALLY tough category and I didn’t love the ending of this show but decided to pick based on what I'd recommend to the most people on balance. Don't look up spoilers!

For All Mankind Ok I haven’t even finished season 3 of this show so I can’t properly endorse it in full confidence and I’m also biased because I’m currently watching it, but. I simply love to see the BSG showrunner do what he does best: make television. About People, Politics and Situations In Space!

Honourable mention: The OA, In the Flesh and Sense8 These are my ‘wish they weren’t cancelled’*** and I don’t know if I would inflict on people while incomplete. However I just think what they were aiming for was so so unique and good that maybe they’re worth watching anyway!! (***I know Sense8 had the consolation prize movie but it was so rushed and nothing that like. To Me. It doesn't count.)

ANIME Shin Sekai Yori This is definitely the all-time anime I recommend to absolutely everyone. Ignore the middling animation and don’t look up spoilers, the end has one of the most existential ‘reframes the narrative’ plot twists of all time.

Yuri on Ice Speaking of plot twists that reframe the narrative… YOI is an obvious answer but it’s also correct!!! IT WAS BORN TO MAKE HISTORY!!!

FILMS The Handmaiden Limiting myself to ONE film to keep things a little briefer (sorry about the long post!) it was still an easy choice and literally do force my friends to watch it the second I know they haven’t seen it. No spoilers but it’s the IWTV of cinema to me.

*When Harry Met Sally Is of course also the best rom com ever made for its medium and I would be remiss not to include that here as well!

[ultratradmalewife]

So, I’ve been seeing one particular Buddie fan trying to use HenRen against the BuckTommy shippers now, because apparently they now care that Aisha and Tracey don’t get joint interviews (which is crazy and I agree, but they’re bringing it up for the wrong reasons). Anyways, I don’t want to start something and I don’t want to use our lesbian queens for malice, but since I’m new here and HenRen is my favorite 911 couple I propose we start a HenRen playlist full of sapphic queer and nonbinary artists. I’ll start with some of my favorites:

That chorus just reminds me so much of their first meeting, and how Chimney matched them together so perfectly. It wasn’t love at first sight, and it wasn’t even the best first impression, but they couldn’t stop thinking about each other afterwards, and ahhh! I love them so much.

This song is honestly a little more somber, but still hopeful, and it reminds me mostly of Hen. Before meeting Karen she was in a bad relationship, but she’s never the type to give up on herself, and she found herself where she needed to be. I’m so proud of her.

This song just reminds me so much of their first meeting too. Karen came in hot and Hen was there for it, and the fact that we still got to see the wild side of Karen when they chased down the woman who stole their credit cards. It’s just so fresh to see older gay couples remain so youthful and from the point of the episode, Karen deserves it. (Also, in no point am I calling Karen a mean character like the song suggest, but from Hen’s perspective this song makes sense).

This song just reminds me of their not so happy time when Hen cheated, but it fits them so well from both perspectives (first Karen, Second Hen), and we all saw they got their happy ending that they deserve.

This one doesn’t need explanation, really… they’re just everything for each other.

This song just reminds me of Hen. Every queer child has the fear of how their parents would react to their sexuality, and Hen didn’t seem to have the easiest time with both parents, but her mother didn’t leave her side and although it took some time they got to the place where Mrs. Toni loves and is so proud of her daughter.

This song just speaks to me about how they’re always there for their friends and found family. It’s not necessarily a sapphic song, but it’s them.

This final song is one of my personal favorites. Joy is a blessing of an artist and I’m so glad I found her music this decade. This song reminds me not just of their relationship and how much work they had to put into making it perfect for them, but also about how they went beyond that love and offered it to kids who needed parents, regardless if it was a temporary situation or permanent, they were there to share it. I love them so much. ❤️❤️

These are all the songs I want to share for now, but please I’d love to see anybody share some of their favorites.,

[blues-valentine]

So I couldn’t care less about Hailey Bieber or Selena and any of this drama perpetuated by TikTok but it’s insane the amount of support Selena Gomez gets when she has history of being a drama instigator and has constantly weaponized her fanbase to hurt and bully women online. Hailey is just another one of the countless women [mostly models] she has encouraged narratives about for the internet to tear them apart, it happened with Sofia Richie, Barbara Palvin and every other women that is somehow involved with Justin Bieber. She’s not a victim. She’s been long enough in this industry to know how her fandom operates. But it’s easier to rally behind her because she has the nostalgia persona attached to her narrative.

People dismissing the fact she’s been following and commenting on TikTok’s focused on hating Hailey and hyping these theories for months is wild and it shows you how easy it is to manipulate the audience. It’s not crazy to think this is some PR situation due to Hailey’s growing popularity in the beauty space. I think it’s crazy her whole label is "treat people with kindness" when she always lights the fire and pretends she’s doing everything in her power to tune it down and only “speaks” for others when the damage has been done. She has some clear insecurity problems going on with her and she seeks that validation from the internet. She knew exactly what she was doing when she said “she wishes she looked like Bella Hadid” because she knew her deranged fandom would bring up her plastic surgeries — her talking about one of her exes ex girlfriend was premeditated and there’s a reason her only friend in the industry is Taylor Swift who operates with the same self victimize narrative.

All of her behavior has been so calculated it’s actually impressive. The hate Hailey has been getting is not normal. You people don’t treat men like this. It’s too late for Selena to claim to be the bigger person. She was on TikTok a few weeks thanking her fandom and claiming they’re “the best” while she had women being dragged to moon and back online. It’s very easy to see the issue here and I won’t be surprised she’s due to release music or some product soon. The desire to glorify these celebrities that don’t care about you and self insert into these delusions is so scary to me. Genuinely scary.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hi Kiko! This year has been moving really fast. It's Mardi Gras season for me right now! We are on spring break as a result and I'm trying to get a bunch of work done for my prospectus so I can hopefully be ABD by next month. I'm also currently working through a back injury that I've been managing since 2020- finally got the okay to start lifting light weights again :) And I'm spending my first Valentine's Day in three years single. I'm loving myself more than my ex ever did, so I'm actually really fucking grateful. Got myself chocolates and I'm getting takeout from my favorite restaurant tonight (they have gumbo soup dumplings and matcha cheesecake. It's amazing). A year ago, I thought my whole world was ending. I was in the process of realizing my engagement was falling apart and my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. I was diagnosed with chronic illnesses and told I'd never not be in pain again. And while there are still rough days, I'm in less pain than I was most of last semester. I'm learning to really treasure my time with just myself and my cat. My parents and I are getting to spend time together just the three of us. And I got a cool shirt that kind of looks like the one you posted about Rinko wearing in Gokudō, soooo I'll be wearing that to my next cosplay convention :) Your stories genuinely helped me survive last year. I am so grateful I stumbled upon this little corner of the internet, and as odd as it may sound, I try to channel Rinko on my bad days. It gets me through. We're here to help get you through, too, love! Sending so much love and a metaphysical king cake your way! <3 Rai

RAI!! HELLO!!!

Mardi Gras is WILD but so fun lol

HAPPY SPRING BREAK AND GOOD LUCK ON WORK!!! ABD ALREADY?? Amazing. You’ll do amazing. I just know it. My best friend is in that boat now and it’s crazy to think about. (Especially since she’s literally growing a human inside her, too.)

I’m so, so, SO HAPPY for you that you’re loving yourself and building a better life for yourself separate from your toxic ex. BUYING ALL THE CHOCOLATES. YES. GUMBO IS ALSO INCREDIBLE.

I love that your life is already better than a year ago. I hate that you had to go through so much, but it’s beautiful how you were able to find your strength to get through it all and come out even better! 💕

I’m so grateful and humbled that Another Level and Rinko helped you. They helped me too. They saved me. This little corner helped save me. Realizing that something I created could actually make any kind of difference really did save me from despair because I believed nothing I did was worth anything and would never amount to anything.

Rinko is so fun and beautiful and strong and I’ve realized that many of my favorite of her traits are ones I wished I could have. Her courage specifically. Her courage in the face of so much misery and hardship and choosing to still be the person who loves and cares and is kind. I think that’s one reason people loved her so much. She’s not stupidly or obliviously nice. She sees and hears and feels the pain and anger and bitterness but still chooses to not let them define who she is. She knows that there’s enough hatred in the world without her adding to it. She’s not perfect, she makes mistakes and she gets angry and she sometimes lets those drive her, but at the end of the day, she still doesn’t let them define her entirely. They’re just part of her existing as a human.

Rinko is a beautifully messy human, just like the rest of us. We’re all messy and emotional and imperfect, but without those things, life would be boring and empty.

I started writing this days ago and I had to save it to my drafts because I wanted to dedicate enough attention to it because messages like these really do pull me out of the darkness. Life has been kicking my ass so hard. Everyone around me keeps saying I’m doing so well and handling things in the best way possible, but that in itself is so exhausting. I’m exhausted. To be perfectly honest, I feel so, so fragile. But I know that’s a sign of my strength because I get up every morning and keep going even when it feels too heavy.

Rai, you are a beautiful human who is doing so incredible and you are so strong for working to be better for you. I’m proud of you and I’m proud to consider you a friend 💕

Also, I’ve been working on lil chibi designs for myself because I want to use them to order a custom case for my new earbuds and I will share one of the lil Gojo chibis I’ve been making.

Admittedly, writing has been difficult lately. I’m in the mood to write angst but I can’t figure out what it would be and I also want to write the Valentine’s Day blurb so badly. I’ll get it done eventually, I promise.

[msgexymunson]

Oh my, there’s far too much choice for that WIP ask game, how on earth am I supposed to choose?!?!

OF COURSE I want some FF goodness (best series ever), but I’m not going to, and I’ll wait it out like a good girl… So instead I’m going to ask for either Midwest Monster or Scream For Me (or both, if that’s even allowed 🤭🫣), and if they’re both already taken then Professor Quinn is hovering very close (extremely close) behind 😆

Kittie 💋

Full disclosure, I went to take a snippet of the fic and ended up reading it all and falling into a 'what next' hole.

Couldn't pick a best bit, I'm like 6k in and not near the smut yet. Its my werewolf Eddie fic, and this is the beginning...

Mid West Monster - Intro

Eddie doesn't know how he got out of the Upside Down. All he remembers are throbbing flashbacks of those weird bat creatures sinking their teeth into him and the blood bubbling in his chest. The wet feeling of his life essence as it drained through all the bites, and the tears falling from Dustin's cheeks as he stared down at him hopelessly. He knew he was going to die. 

Darkness.

The next thing he knew, he was naked, lying on the floor of his trailer. His trailer; not that frightening, vine infested dark mirror. The place looked like a hurricane had ripped through it. The furniture was in splinters in the living room, mugs had been smashed, and hats ripped off of hooks. There were huge gashes in the very walls of the trailer itself, some so deep he could see daylight shining through them. 

He remembered looking down at his body, expecting to see horror and mutilation, a deadly game of tic tac toe played on his torso; but instead what he saw made him gasp in shock. There was blood, yes, but it was dried and crusted, flaking away at a fingertip touch. Underneath, a few light scars were all that remained of his apparent near death encounter. They looked decades old. As he had showered the blood and grime away, he noticed his body looked different, felt different under his fingers. His physique was toned, broader and more defined. He had a six pack without even having to clench and really try. His er… his manhood was bigger, thicker and somehow heavier. And he was definitely hairier.

The scars had all but disappeared a couple of weeks later, same with the murder allegations. Since Vecna's defeat and Hopper's return, all the carnage had been explained away, leaving Eddie to live a normal life. 

The only problem was, he was anything but normal. 

His hearing was incredible, listening to conversations halfway across a noisy Summer school classroom with no difficulties. He was stronger, faster, and so aware of his surroundings sometimes it was just downright painful. Dustin had tried to get him to go to the arcade a few days ago but it was just too much input for his heightened senses and he had to high tail it out of there. 

The biggest change of all though? His sense of smell. 

It felt as if he'd lived his whole life breathing in a gas mask with a pillow across his face and it had suddenly been removed. They were luminous scents, filling his nose with such strength that it was almost better than seeing. The grass, flowers, the path of an unseen wild animal. And the people! Oh God, the people. Everyone was a trail of smell, an orchestra  of aromas, some more distinct than others but all unique in some way.

Yesterday he could smell Uncle Wayne so strongly; a thick cloud of cigarettes, oil and metal from the plant, sandalwood, and, well, the words did not exist for all the rest. It smelled like a comforting, hazy navy blue, which he knows would only make sense to him. He'd even said 'hey' over his shoulder whilst he was sitting on the couch. The crazy thing was, Wayne had walked into their new trailer a few minutes later. 

There was something else too. Eddie's head felt… full. Not of information, he only wished he could get some answers right about now, but another presence. Someone, something was there, other than him. He often wondered if he was just losing his mind, trauma coming out in weird and wacky ways, but as soon as those thoughts came he dismissed them. There was enough evidence to show that he had changed. 

Eddie shuffles into the Summer school classroom, hunched over. He's grown at least a couple inches; that and his broader frame as well as his trademark metalhead look basically made him a moving target. For once in his life, he's trying desperately to not draw attention to himself. 

Jock dickheads will always be jock dickheads though, even when they're retaking English classes. Some 'mouth breather', as Mike would say, a brute of a boy in a letterman jacket and a blonde buzzcut, sticks his foot out and trips him up. Eddie's new lightning reflexes stop him from crashing to the floor, grabbing the edge of the desk at the last minute. 

He's about to just drop it, let it go, until he hears "watch your step, Freak." 

Bite him. 

The thought rings loud and clear in his brain. It's more than a thought though, it's a voice. It's not his, the cadence is different, voice deeper and husky, almost a growl. 

Eddie is shaken to his core, frozen on the spot. Every hair on his body feels like it's standing on end, hackles raising. He blinks the thought away; he doesn't have hackles. 

Standing up, he releases his hold on the desk. Four deep fingernail patterns are etched into the wood. 

This is too much. He turns on his heel and practically jogs to the restroom to splash water in his face. 

What the fuck was that? 

Eddie stares in the mirror, water droplets in his bangs coalescing and mingling to drip down his nose and chin. There's stubble on his jaw even though he shaved this morning. 

He's staring into his own eyes, seeking answers. Then it happens again. 

We should have bit him. 

"What the- who are you? What are you?" 

The mysterious voice doesn't answer; but there's a growl deep in his skull. Squeezing his eyes shut, he pinches the bridge of his nose until it stops. 

Fuck this. 

Eddie leaves school, racing toward his van. Mrs O'Donnells class can wait.

[asbealthgn]

when love's shadow stood up and left the room

instead of working on any of my wips i decided to write this angsty little ficlet based on wild horses ii by first aid kit (i saw them last night and wept)

“Where are we going?” Eddie asked an hour ago when Steve pulled out of the parking lot of their too-small apartment. It’s been a while since Steve has found the cramped space charming. Romantic. Now it’s just suffocating. 

Steve is driving them towards the mountains. He’s not sure why exactly. It seems like the kind of thing they would have done at the start of their relationship. Back when they were spontaneous. Before they started having careers instead of jobs, before the bills started piling up, before Steve started dreading coming home. Maybe it’s still possible to capture some of how they used to be. 

Except the sunset has passed and Steve doesn’t really know what the hell they’re doing. He saw the night turn and now it all feels futile. Played out. How can a lifetime fit in an hour?

The sky opens up and the rain comes down, turning the road to a river.

“You shouldn’t be driving in these conditions,” Eddie says. It could be a genuine concern; Steve’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be. But it sounds more patronizing than anything.

“I’m fine,” he says. 

Eddie points out a sign for a motel, barely visible in the shower. “Pull off here.”

It’s not worth the argument. Steve gets off at the exit, pulling into the motel parking lot. Eddie gets them a room and then lugs both their bags up the stairs. Steve wishes he didn’t feel the need to always carry his shit for him. He’s perfectly capable. 

The walls of their room are paper-thin. Steve can hear a TV going in the room to the right and a baby crying in the room to the left. But at least the place is almost charming, with floral linens on the bed. It’s a small comfort as he gets under the covers and clicks on the lamp on the nightstand. Eddie turns the overhead light off and gets in on the other side of the bed. 

Not touching.

Steve opens the drawer, seeing the Bible there. He shuts the drawer again quickly. No need for the reminder of his parents and their cries for his everlasting soul when he ran off with a man. Sometimes he wonders what his life would be now if he’d followed the path they wanted for him. Would he be any happier if he’d married a woman and had kids and settled in at the end of a cul-de-sac? Would he have been haunted by the same monotony?

The next day is clear and beautiful after the rain. They pass a canyon as Eddie fiddles with the radio. He eventually puts in a Rolling Stones CD. Steve feels a prickle of annoyance when he hears Wild Horses that only gets amplified when Eddie says, “This is the best version of this song.”

Did he put it on just to annoy Steve? It’s a tired argument at this point, repeated so many times that it’s almost not worth saying. But Steve says it anyway, like lines in a play he wishes would just reach the end of its run already. “I prefer Gram Parsons’.”

“You’re crazy,” Eddie says. Right on cue.

They stop at a diner for lunch. Eddie flirts shamelessly with the waitress, all winks and smiles. Steve doesn’t even care. 

Eddie takes over driving after lunch, insisting Steve’s straining himself too much. So Steve gets in the passenger seat and watches Eddie watching the road. Where does he go in these moments? Do the same thoughts run through his head about what life would be without each other? Miserable and free. 

Funny how it’s these days that Steve feels he sees Eddie the most clearly. After so many years together through infatuation and love and passion and closeness and distance and apathy. It’s only now that he can barely muster anything for the man next to him that he feels he knows him best. 

Eddie plays Wild Horses again. The Rolling Stones version. 

“I hate who we’ve become,” Eddie says. Spoken like an absolute. 

Steve can’t think of anything to say in response. What is there to dispute? There’s no denying that they’re not what they once were. Something died somewhere along the way between them. And Steve doesn’t see how there’s anything he could have done to change it. He hasn’t even tried. 

But what does he do? He can’t let Eddie slide through his hands. He doesn’t want to lose him, not when he’s the only person Steve was ever truly in love with. 

They’ve built a life together, even if the life is just this.

[lewisvinga]

I am so glad that I’m not the only one who is pissed off with the Carlos fans. I literally have been so afraid to speak out about it because they are literally crazy. They will attack you just because you said Carlos hair doesn’t look fluffy. I thought that the Italian men who were fans of Charles Leclerc Were wild, but the Carlos fans are even crazier. Like, Ferrari is not going to regret giving you Carlos up. It’s a team, and this is a competitive sport. They do this so often that they are used to people leaving the team and going to win somewhere else.

They’re not going to specifically beg Carlos to say just because he’s won twice and one of those wins were practically handed to him due to Max’s car. just because he won once fair and square and the other one was practically given to him on a silver platter, doesn’t mean that Ferrari is going to cry and get on their hands and knees, and beg for him to stay just because he won.

No wonder people call the tifosi the most delusional, fan base. And those saying people who are crying about Carlos leaving and saying they’re going to regret it and stuff are the same people who call Lewis Hamilton crymilton 😭

Like, I really like Carlos and Charles, but their fanbase makes me want to hate them. Same thing with the Daniel Ricciardo fans. I remember someone telling you about the racism and hatred Yuki was facing after Bahrain. I remember someone telling you about how the stands were acting like Daniel has never done anything wrong in his entire life.

Both men are extremely beautiful and talented, but their fans make people hate the drivers themselves. People say that, “if you were a real fan, you wouldn’t let the fans put you off.”

How are you supposed to not be affected by the fans when they are being so toxic? When they ruin the entire experience for you? Make it make sense

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have ADHD in autism because when I hyper focus on something, I cannot get out of it no matter how hard I try

And rn that’s f1 😭

you explained it PERFECTLY😭😭😭😭

like i really like carlos, don’t get me wrong that’s a fellow madridista 🤞 but the carlos fans saying that ferrari is gonna regret it after he what?? won 2 races only because red bulls car wasn’t working?

he’s talented don’t get me wrong, but if anyone else was starting right behind max would’ve won the race , ( anyone with a good car that is bc we all know merc is shitty asf rn but i think charles or the mclarens could’ve won🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

same w daniel fans, i saw so many ppl being racist to yuki over bahrain on twt n it was insane

like they’re attractive and have showcased their talents before, but damn some fans make me so annoyed 😭😭

f1 feels like a kpop fandom icl, bc stg on f1twt you can’t criticize ANYONE but on fbtwt everyone gets criticized for anything even the best players but no one gets as upset as f1twt

(although some criticisms on fbtwt are just wrong bc ppl do tend to get racist but saying a player has been in a bad spot doesn’t get ppl upset like saying something slightly negative abt drivers 😭)

[richincolor]

[Images are the covers for Gloria Buenrostro is Not My Girlfriend, Permanent Record, and When You Wish Upon a Lantern]

On the Job

This week I visited a bookstore and there were young people skipping through the store making lively instagram posts while they were working. It struck me that they would be awesome characters in a young adult novel and I would totally read that. Here are a dozen titles that feature young people hard at work. Of course the list begins with a story that takes place in a bookstore.

This is All Your Fault by Aminah Mae Safi Feiwel & Friends

Rinn Olivera is finally going to tell her longtime crush AJ that she’s in love with him.

Daniella Korres writes poetry for her own account, but nobody knows it’s her.

Imogen Azar is just trying to make it through the day.

When Rinn, Daniella, and Imogen clock into work at Wild Nights Bookstore on the first day of summer, they’re expecting the hours to drift by the way they always do. Instead, they have to deal with the news that the bookstore is closing. Before the day is out, there’ll be shaved heads, a diva author, and a very large shipment of Air Jordans to contend with.

And it will take all three of them working together if they have any chance to save Wild Nights Bookstore.

The Boy in the Black Suit by Jason Reynolds Atheneum Books for Young Readers [K. Imani's Review]

Just when seventeen-year-old Matt thinks he can’t handle one more piece of terrible news, he meets a girl who’s dealt with a lot more—and who just might be able to clue him in on how to rise up when life keeps knocking him down—in this wry, gritty novel from the author of When I Was the Greatest.

Matt wears a black suit every day. No, not because his mom died—although she did, and it sucks. But he wears the suit for his gig at the local funeral home, which pays way better than the Cluck Bucket, and he needs the income since his dad can’t handle the bills (or anything, really) on his own. So while Dad’s snagging bottles of whiskey, Matt’s snagging fifteen bucks an hour. Not bad. But everything else? Not good. Then Matt meets Lovey. She’s got a crazy name, and she’s been through more crazy than he can imagine. Yet Lovey never cries. She’s tough. Really tough. Tough in the way Matt wishes he could be. Which is maybe why he’s drawn to her, and definitely why he can’t seem to shake her. Because there’s nothing more hopeful than finding a person who understands your loneliness—and who can maybe even help take it away.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern by Gloria Chao Viking

Liya and Kai had been best friends since they were little kids, but all that changed when a humiliating incident sparked The Biggest Misunderstanding Of All Time—and they haven’t spoken since.

Then Liya discovers her family’s wishing lantern store is struggling, and she decides to resume a tradition she had with her beloved late grandmother: secretly fulfilling the wishes people write on the lanterns they send into the sky. It may boost sales and save the store, but she can’t do it alone . . . and Kai is the only one who cares enough to help.

While working on their covert missions, Liya and Kai rekindle their friendship—and maybe more. But when their feuding families and their changing futures threaten to tear them apart again, can they find a way to make their own wishes come true?

Café Con Lychee by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books [Audrey's Review]

Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?

Darius the Great Deserves Better (Darius The Great #2) by Adib Khorram Dial Books for Young Readers

In this companion to the award-winning Darius the Great Is Not Okay, Darius suddenly has it all: a boyfriend, an internship, a spot on the soccer team. It’s everything he’s ever wanted–but what if he deserves better?

Darius Kellner is having a bit of a year. Since his trip to Iran this past spring, a lot has changed. He’s getting along with his dad, and his best friend Sohrab is only a Skype call away. Between his first boyfriend, Landon, his varsity soccer practices, and his internship at his favorite tea shop, Darius is feeling pretty okay. Like he finally knows what it means to be Darius Kellner.

Then, of course, everything changes. Darius’s grandmothers are in town for a long visit while his dad is gone on business, and Darius isn’t sure whether they even like him. The internship isn’t what Darius thought it would be, and now he doesn’t know about turning tea into his career. He was sure he liked Landon, but when he starts hanging out with Chip–soccer teammate and best friend of Trent Bolger, epic bully–well, he’s just not so sure about Landon anymore, either.

Darius thought he knew exactly who he was and what he wanted, but maybe he was wrong. Maybe he deserves better.

K-pop Confidential by Stephan Lee Point [Crystal's Review]

Candace Park knows a lot about playing a role. For most of her life, she's been playing the role of the quiet Korean girl who takes all AP classes and plays a classical instrument, keeping her dreams of stardom-and her obsession with SLK, K-pop's top boyband-to herself. She doesn't see how a regular girl like her could possibly become one of those K-pop goddesses she sees on YouTube. Even though she can sing. Like, really sing.

So when Candace secretly enters a global audition held by SLK's music label, the last thing she expects is to actually get a coveted spot in their trainee program. And convincing her strict parents to let her to go is all but impossible ... although it's nothing compared to what comes next.

Under the strict supervision of her instructors at the label's headquarters in Seoul, Candace must perfect her performance skills to within an inch of her life, learn to speak Korean fluently, and navigate the complex hierarchies of her fellow trainees, all while following the strict rules of the industry. Rule number one? NO DATING, which becomes impossible to follow when she meets a dreamy boy trainee. And in the all-out battle to debut, Candace is in danger of planting herself in the middle of a scandal lighting up the K-pop fandom around the world.

If she doesn't have what it takes to become a perfect, hair-flipping K-pop idol, what will that mean for her family, who have sacrificed everything to give her the chance? And is a spot in the most hyped K-pop girl group of all time really worth risking her friendships, her future, and everything she believes in?

A Pho Love Story by Loan Le Simon Pulse

If Bao Nguyen had to describe himself, he’d say he was a rock. Steady and strong, but not particularly interesting. His grades are average, his social status unremarkable. He works at his parents’ pho restaurant, and even there, he is his parents’ fifth favorite employee. Not ideal.

If Linh Mai had to describe herself, she’d say she was a firecracker. Stable when unlit, but full of potential for joy and spark and fire. She loves art and dreams pursuing a career in it. The only problem? Her parents rely on her in ways they’re not willing to admit, including working practically full-time at her family’s pho restaurant.

For years, the Mais and the Nguyens have been at odds, having owned competing, neighboring phở restaurants. Bao and Linh, who’ve avoided each other for most of their lives, both suspect that the feud stems from feelings much deeper than friendly competition.

But then a chance encounter brings Linh and Bao together despite their best efforts and sparks fly, leading them both to wonder what took so long for them to connect. But then, of course, they immediately remember.

Can Linh and Bao find love in the midst of feuding families and complicated histories?

Permanent Record by Mary H.K. Choi Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers [Crystal's Review]

After a year of college, Pablo is working at his local twenty-four-hour deli, selling overpriced snacks to brownstone yuppies. He’s dodging calls from the student loan office and he has no idea what his next move is.

Leanna Smart’s life so far has been nothing but success. Age eight: Disney Mouseketeer; Age fifteen: first #1 single on the US pop chart; Age seventeen, *tenth* #1 single; and now, at Age nineteen…life is a queasy blur of private planes, weird hotel rooms, and strangers asking for selfies on the street.

When Leanna and Pab randomly meet at 4:00 a.m. in the middle of a snowstorm in Brooklyn, they both know they can’t be together forever. So, they keep things on the down-low and off Instagram for as long as they can. But it takes about three seconds before the world finds out…

The Way You Make Me Feel by Maurene Goo Farrar, Straus and Giroux [Jessica's Review]

Clara Shin lives for pranks and disruption. When she takes one joke too far, her dad sentences her to a summer working on his food truck, the KoBra, alongside her uptight classmate Rose Carver. Not the carefree summer Clara had imagined. But maybe Rose isn’t so bad. Maybe the boy named Hamlet (yes, Hamlet) crushing on her is pretty cute. Maybe Clara actually feels invested in her dad’s business. What if taking this summer seriously means that Clara has to leave her old self behind?

Symptoms of a Heartbreak by Sona Charaipotra Imprint [K. Iman's Review]

The youngest doctor in America, an Indian-American teen makes her rounds―and falls head over heels―in the contemporary romantic comedy Symptoms of a Heartbreak.

Fresh from med school, sixteen-year-old medical prodigy Saira arrives for her first day at her new job: treating children with cancer. She’s always had to balance family and friendships with her celebrity as the Girl Genius―but she’s never had to prove herself to skeptical adult co-workers while adjusting to real life-and-death stakes. And working in the same hospital as her mother certainly isn’t making things any easier.

But life gets complicated when Saira finds herself falling in love with a patient: a cute teen boy who’s been diagnosed with cancer. And when she risks her brand new career to try to improve his chances, it could cost her everything.

It turns out “heartbreak” is the one thing she still doesn’t know how to treat.

In her solo debut, Sona Charaipotra brings us a compelling #ownvoices protagonist who’s not afraid to chase what she wants. Symptoms of a Heartbreak goes from romantic comedy highs to tearjerker lows and is the ultimate cure-all for young adult readers needing an infusion of something heartfelt.

The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam’s Sons [Crystal's Review]

Atlanta, 1890: By day, seventeen-year-old Jo Kuan works as a lady’s maid for the cruel daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Atlanta. But by night, Jo moonlights as the pseudonymous author of a newspaper advice column for the genteel Southern lady, “Dear Miss Sweetie.” When her column becomes wildly popular, she uses the power of the pen to address some of society’s ills, but she’s not prepared for the backlash that follows when her column challenges fixed ideas about race and gender.

While her opponents clamor to uncover the secret identity of Miss Sweetie, a mysterious letter sets Jo off on a search for her own past and the parents who abandoned her as a baby. But when her efforts put her in the crosshairs of Atlanta’s most notorious criminal, Jo must decide whether she, a girl used to living in the shadows, is ready to step into the light. With prose that is witty, insightful, and at times heartbreaking, Stacey Lee masterfully crafts an extraordinary social drama set in the New South.

[paradigmsofbrittaperry]

idk if I can express how much life I have lived since I was last active on here. like I had stories before, but they were all mostly from high school. now, I’ve spent the last two years as a mostly single woman with her own apartment, doing and teaching band, working and going to school, stumbling into all sorts of crazy shit. I almost got tricked into working for a scammy marketing agency run by a former NFL player. I *did* work for a company that monograms cheap shit that had “wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere” painted on the bathroom walls. two of my best friends asked me to set them up with each other - the catch being that I used to be deeply horribly in love with one of them (and both parties knew about this) - and yet I *did* because they asked nicely and they’re still together to this day. I went to a Wild Party show and attended the afterparty they held in their hotel’s bar and the guitarist bought me a drink. I WAS THERE IN THE NISSAN STADIUM FOR THE SPEAK NOW (TAYLOR’S VERSION) ANNOUNCEMENT. I dated a 24 year old when I was 20 and it was terrible and I had to teach him that there’s more to giving hickeys than just fucking biting. when we made out for the first time, half of our friends were asleep in my living room and I was just staring up at my popcorn ceiling, wondering where I’d gone so wrong in life so as to end up laying in my bed with a 24 year old man biting my neck, and yet I STILL DATED HIM AFTER THAT. I dated another guy who told me before we were officially dating that he hoped we would never break up and offhandedly mentioned marriage and kids a handful of times. I try to make good dating decisions but they always tend to blow up in my face. PSA to 18-20 year olds, don’t date 24 year olds. if they’re 24 with a whole ass 9 to 5 job and can’t find someone who’s in the same stage of life as them who wants to be with them, then they’re probably severely emotionally stunted. they should *at least* want to be with someone who can also legally drink. this post went off the rails but the point is that 2020 Bri was sitting here dreaming and fantasizing about what life would be like when she could get back out in the real world and live on her own. 2023 Bri has had many amazing and incredible experiences that she wouldn’t trade for anything, but also wishes that her life would switch out of sitcom mode from time to time.

[henrike-does-writing-sometimes]

The Realm of Mirrors Trilogy, In which a group of childhood friends discover the dark secrets hiding within the wall of the old castle in their hometown. Secrets which they’re more involved in than what they ever could’ve imagined.

Current Stage - Slowly but surely working through the first draft Genre - Low fantasy  Setting - The fictional city of Grimmvik, located on the west coast of Sweden Books - A shattered heirloom | A reflection of malice | A youthful demise

Synopsis - The old is swarmed in mysteries. Some are meant to be found, some to be forgotten. And some we wish would’ve stayed hidden. 

Returning back to his hometown Emil is finally reunited with his childhood friends, and although they never lost contact it feels incredible to be back together. With no limit on their time, meaning their new adventures are about to be spectacular. Although not even their wildest child-like imagination could’ve predicted what was about to come.

Grimmvik’s castle, now a beating heart of history and the arts, seems to be infested with ghosts and strange mirrors that act on their own. Strange things only they seem to be able to see are just a handful of the many unexplainable things that have started to happen. 

The answers are found within the castle itself, revealing the dark past of its prime and the horrors lurking within its dungeons. A shrine for an old mirror rests deep below their feet, whispering for them to come; once again calling for a dreaded history to repeat itself. 

Main Characters -

Emil Nimuel-Noreen: Adventure seeker and fun lover, not the brightest but he does his best. His head is up in the clouds more often than not. He has an easy time making friends and works very well in social situations. Longs to be and do something great and to change the world for the better. Might have gotten more than he bargained for. 

Tess Lundell: The seemingly most responsible in the group, though she doesn’t mind breaking a few rules now and again. She loves the arts, painting and poetry to be specific, and can often be found far away in daydreams. She has an easy time finding beauty in mundane things and can spend hours being lost in oil paintings and shiny rocks.

Ida Brolin: Intelligent but reckless, does dumb things for the fun of it. Or because she’s simply curious, something she’s mainly driven by. Although she maintains a professional and calm demeanor most of the time, she has a wild and chaotic imagination and is not one to keep her crazy ideas to herself. Nor does she fear testing her many theories. 

Astrid Ryu: Smug bastard but also baby. Is a major tease and actively encourages their friends’ dumbassery, they’re also the cause most of the time. They adore the unexplainable and unsolved mysteries, a firm believer in Mothman and cryptids of the like. Tends to throw away logic to have fun with “fake” sightings. Isn’t one to get aggressive but will cut a bitch if they have to. 

Jake Castner: The unofficial leader of the group and professional himbo. While not too comfortable taking the lead he falls into the role naturally being the most observant of the group. He’s most in his element when he’s designing and building, something he’s been doing for most of his life. Whether miniature figurines or lego sets of all kinds. 

Tindra Hellberg: Huge literature nerd, likes to dissect different works to find hidden meanings and symbolism. Which she has an easy time with, given her tendency to connect things that might not even be connected. She may not believe in them, but she really enjoys conspiracy theories and will often ramble about the possibilities of them being true.  

Themes - Dark Academia | Morality | Sacrifice | Death | Repeating cycles | Rituals | Tragedy | Bittersweet end | Humanity | Loss of innocence

Main Theme - Shatter me : Lindsey Stirling

Warnings - Violence | Death | Death of one (1) animal | Body horror | Gore | Abuse | More May Be Added

What I Got To Offer ? ANGST, diverse cast (LGBTQ+, ethnicity, etc.), friends sharing a brain cell, healthy relationships both romantic and platonic, mirror based magic system, fucked up and morally questionable mentors

Tags - wip : Realm of Mirrors | RoM Playlist

: Taglist - @waysofink​​ @metanoiamorii @fiercely-raging-writer @zonnemaagd @writing-is-a-martial-art @writing-with-l @chazzawrites @vacantgodling :

Let me know if you want to be added !