#they’re totally not another version of aphrodite guys

[notesbyaphrodite]

BRIDGEYYY

I just realised, I never posted this

Anyways, Bridgette design yippee <333

[sarafangirlart]

Did Kaos even explain why the three humans “destined to destroy Zeus/the Gods” are specifically Eurydice, Caeneus and Ariadne? Because if they really wanted a “we hate the gods” story shouldn’t the chosen three be. severely wronged or abandoned by the gods / the fates?

Like Oedipus? Lamia? Cassandra? Daphne? Arachne? Callisto? Hell I’d even watch a smackdown of Clytemnestra vs Artemis or Menelaus and Helen vs Aphrodite any time then watch a whole other boring show following the same bad story tropes.

They don’t really explain it no, but I was so eager for it to be over I likely missed it, this show seems surprising hesitant to show the more gruesome side of mythology, if they adapted the story that Caeneus was raped by Poseidon and they show how angry and miserable he is about it I would’ve totally been on board, tho someone mentioned that considering the current social environment is especially hostile towards trans ppl nowadays, having someone transition after assault could be bad “pr” so to speak, tho I don’t think we should bend a knee to transphobes/terfs and make representation that’s more palatable and presentable, human experience is messy and we shouldn’t shy away from that in an attempt to make bigots less hostile towards minorities bc they will always be hostile.

If they show Eurydice being angry about Aristaeus not facing any consequences for trying to assault her I’d understand that too mythology Eurydice has zero beef with Hera, but she could feel resentment towards Aristaeus and by extension Apollo (since he’d likely defend his son), gods rarely face consequences for assaulting mortals, Euripides’s Ion tackles that subject way better than all of these “Gods bad” modern retelling (tho I wish Creusa didn’t forgive Apollo bc that mf didn’t even have the balls to show his face).

Instead of Ariadne, who usually gets a happy ending and becomes a goddess herself, how about going with Apemosyne? Another Cretan princess. Her story is extremely depressing, she’s screwed over by a god and her own family, considering that half the show takes place in the underworld she’d fit right in. Considering she’ll be “coworkers” with Hermes it would especially suck for her. But considering that Dionysus is made to be one of the “good ones” even tho in mythology he brainwashed women into slaughtering their families, they’d probably portray Hermes as such too, since he’s usually simply the comic relief in adaptations anyway.

That’s another thing, they water down the gods who are supposed to be good guys and make the “bad guy” worse, in this version Hades never kidnapped Persephone that’s just propaganda in universe. The Fates and Furies are goddesses but in this show they’re against the gods bc of that meander water thing? Don’t they drink it too?

I think they realized that their hesitancy means that they won’t be showing us bad things the gods actually did and so they make up random bullshit like Hera owning tongueless priestesses and Zeus killing a kitten. Cassandra is in the show but she’s more of an exposition machine tho it’s hinted she’ll play a bigger role in season 2, but why couldn’t she be one of the three humans destined to destroy Zeus? Why aren’t any of the Trojans destined to destroy Zeus? Why do they have to be saved by Greeks? Sure Zeus in mythology had a soft spot for them but he still planned the destruction of their city (could be a decent metaphor for an abuser who says that they love their victim while still abusing them imo) but Kaos Zeus doesn’t have that goodwill towards the Trojans so why not have them rightfully take him down? In the final episode Andromache and Ariadne team up and agree to fight against Olympus, tho that reminds me of Acrisius in the Clash of the Titans remake being more of a dumb dumb than he is in the myths and started a war against Mount Olympus only to unsurprisingly fail.

I really dislike how the Trojans are portrayed in the show, clearly they are supposed to be allegory for modern middle eastern refugees in Europe yet all the main Trojan characters are played by white actors. They have such a racially diverse cast but they seem uninterested in actually representing the diversity of the Mediterranean and mythology as a whole.

[themyskira]

Wonder Woman #48

Previously in What If Wonder Woman But Men???: Earth is being invaded by +~teh D4rK g0dz~+!! They’re an iteration of the Olympian gods from the Dark Multiverse. This means they’re suuuuuper dark and gritty and edgy (i.e. they’re into murdering and subjugation) and have suuuuuper dark and gritty and edgy backstories (i.e. with excessive fridging, slut-shaming and violence).

The reason they’re attacking now is that Diana accidentally summoned them by making a very big and very vague wish while in contact with a magical wishing device, and then forgot all about it.

Last issue, Diana was lured away from Earth by a nakedly obvious distraction so that the Dark Gods could launch their invasion behind her back. This time, we see how Jason managed while she was gone. (In essence: he fails to have any effect on the invaders, but he does discover that his armour gives him a handy infodump power. This entire issue is a waste of space.)

Meanwhile Wonder Woman, our alleged title character, appears in a grand total of one page. Two, if we’re generous and count an unnecessary recap panel.

The panel in question, included here because WHERE THE FUCK IS HER RIBCAGE.

Diana disappears, leaving Jason to fight them monologue at us all on his own.

He calls on the magic of his armour — which, remember, enables him to access ALL THE POWERS OF ALL THE GREEK GODS, but only one at a time because let’s not be greedy.

I want to talk about the armour for a bit, because it comes into play, the more we learn about it, the more utterly half-baked it’s looking.

As of issue #47, we know that the armour was created by Zeus as a weapon against the coming Dark Gods, to be wielded by ‘Earth’s greatest hero’. In a plot snag that only remotely works if every single one of the Greek gods is not only sexist but a complete dunce, the Olympians thought the ‘greatest hero’ in question was Jason and gave the armour to him.

The idea behind the armour seems to be that it allows the wearer to hit the Dark Gods with the combined power of all the Olympians, dealing a greater blow than any one could strike individually. That would make sense. Except that the only stated limitation of the armour explicitly prevents the wearer from doing this: they can only use a single power at a time.

Which means that the benefit afforded by the armour isn’t actually all that great. The Olympians would do better to fight the Dark Gods as a group. Or perhaps appoint a champion who already carries a divinely powerful item and the blessings of many gods. Say, the strength of the earth from Demeter, wisdom from Athena, a hunter’s eye and unity with beasts from Artemis, sisterhood with fire from Hestia, speed and flight from Hermes OH WAIT.

What’s more, the actual powers bestowed by the armour are absurdly ill-defined. In theory, the wearer can draw upon any of the abilities of any of the gods. In practice, that has meant that Jason leans almost exclusively on the Speed of Hermes and the Wisdom of Athena (and oh, friends, we’ll get to that one), with the occasional Strength, I Guess?? and Managed To Hit Something One Time And Claimed He’d Used A Marksmanship Power.

What are the actual powers and limitations of this thing? Can he use the power of Poseidon to cause earthquakes? The power of Dionysus to induce a drunken frenzy in people? The power of Aphrodite to make people fall in love? The power of Hephaestus to forge cool stuff? The power of Demeter to govern the changing of the seasons? The power of Hera to be a petty jealous ass?

Part of the problem with the concept of the armour is that it assumes that the Greek gods have discrete and clearly differentiated powers. It treats them like a team of superheroes as opposed to, you know, gods, with many and varied domains and associations.

Another problem becomes apparent here as Jason summons what he calls “the Wisdom of Athena”, but could more accurately be described as “the Infodump of the Lazy Writer”. This power doesn’t gift Jason with superior insight, understanding, judgement or strategic thinking — it just enables him to instantly know key pieces of plot-relevant information so that Robinson doesn’t have to go to the effort of folding them organically into the story.

This is how Jason learns the identities and domains of the Dark Gods and, hooboy, if you thought ol’ Khrysanthemum the Grimdark Love Deity was embarrassing, get a load of these guys.

ROLL CALL!

“Mob God, goddess of Chaos. And order, too— the “order” of mob rule. The order of a riot.”

MOBGOB! Horns, feathers, plate mail metal bustier and hoodie make for a confused sense of fashion, but the ripped fingerless gloves let you know she’s edgy™.

Literally just a shit version of the Greek goddess Eris.

“The God With No Name. God of doubt. God of nothing.”

THE HORSE WITH NO NAME! Too lazy to get a proper Halloween costume; thinks nobody can tell he just threw a couple of dirty sheets over his regular clothes. We can tell, Horse. We can tell.

Would crap his dacks in the face of the primordial void of Khaos or the gaping jaws of Tartarus.

“Savage Fire, goddess of war. Not war for some ideal or common good. War for power. War for profit. War for blood.”

SEXY SATAN LADY! Crotch is literally on fire. May want to get tested for UTI because that looks painful. Unclear how flaming-dominatrix-in-a-Halloween-mask getup is thematically connected to war domain.

Bro, you do realise that bloodlust, violence, destruction and slaughter in war is literally Ares’ entire deal?

The fourth Dark God — King Best, whose name sounds like a Melania Trump initiative — remains inside his floating statue, apparently biding his time while the other three take it in turns to attack.

Bear in mind, Jason is completely isolated and overwhelmed at this moment, and there’s no better opportunity for the Dark Gods to crush him into a pulp and feed him to King Be Best (he absorbs people’s power or something, it’s a thing, we’ll get to it). But no, they have to softball it by each waiting in turn to attack Jason while delivering some stilted line or other, aka the exact thing Robinson was poking fun at Jack Kirby for six-odd issues ago.

Sexy Satan Lady sets a bunch of flaming bats on Jason. I get the feeling she’s really not all that on board with the war portfolio. Like, she auditioned for the part of Lucifer, got cast as a war goddess instead, and now she just keeps trying to shoehorn hellfire and brimstone into everything.

Mobgob harnesses the power of the mob and uses it to… make a bunch of people jump off a skyscraper. This provides the Dark Gods with their second opportunity to incinerate Jason, as he scrambles to catch everybody before they hit the ground, but instead the Horse With No Name waits politely until all civilians have been delivered to safety before making his move.

Jason: To me, Polly! Jason [VO]: Named my spear after Mom — discovered another of its powers, too — it can appear and disappear out of nowhere if I will it to.

Oh, get fuuuuuuucked.

Jason has spent pretty much his entire life resenting Hippolyta, and now he loves her and named his magic spear after her because James Robinson told us so (yet again, abusing narration boxes for an infodump). And, by the way, how many super-special magical gifts does Jason friggin need?

But mostly what pisses me off here is that Jason’s weapon — a divine polearm with a feminine name that comes to the wielder when summoned with the words “to me” — is basically just Artemis’ ‘Mistress’.

Also, if you take another look at that panel of Jason, you’ll notice that as he summons his spear he is also diving out of the way of the Horse’s murderblast, allowing three innocent civilians to be horrifically killed in his stead. Cool hero.

(No idea how noxious green murderblasts fit in with Mister Ed’s doubt-and-nothing domain, either, but it’s clear that none of the Dark Gods are particularly married to their areas of patronage.)

Jason throws the spear at the Horse, who disappears, and Sexy Satan Lady tags in, attacking him in the form of a pterodactyl made of fire.

Supergirl shows up and decks her. This makes Kara dizzy, because something something magic, and so rather than pay attention to what Sexy Satan Lady is doing or who she might be endangering, Jason swoops right in to help the swooning Supergirl.

Wait, why isn’t Supergirl still in the Dark Gods’ thrall? I thought their very approach was intoxicating and frenzy-inducing to people? Particularly those, like Kara, who have ambivalent relationships with their own divinities? Have we dropped that plot thread?

Jason: Where did you come from—? Glad you did, but— Kara: Those insane gods possessed me, using their energy like I said—

That… does not explain anything.

After a couple of panels, Jason realises he’s forgetting something important. “Wait, what are we doing talking—? Should be looking— those ‘insane gods’ are still here.” But they’re not any more, because all of them except King Be Best’s flying stone statue have fucked off. Great heroing, guys!

Welp, out of sight, out of mind: Jason goes right on back to pointless talk.

“This armour is a gift from my father, Zeus. It allows me the powers of the gods — only one power at a time, but still — Athena’s wisdom allows me to know some things… but my inexperience and stupidity don’t always tell me the best way to act upon it.”

This is where it becomes clear that Robinson is confusing ‘wisdom’ for ‘knowledge’. Athena isn’t the goddess of Knowing Shit, she’s a goddess of strategy, innovation, crafty thought and good counsel. In other words, blessed with the wisdom of Athena, you might not have all the answers, but you can assess what you do know with clear and discerning eyes and judge the best course of action, a.k.a. the complete opposite of what Jason is saying.

Jason and Kara only remember that they’re supposed to be stopping supervillains from taking over the world when Steve radios in to tell them that the Dark Gods are taking over the world.

“They appeared in different parts of the world, sowing madness. Their very presence creates worshippers who then fight or become insane in some way.”

If that’s the case, how did Supergirl break free?

Once again, this is the kind of threat that could potentially be very effective, both in terms of building up the villains as a truly terrifying force and in terms of presenting Diana (remember her?) with a serious challenge in which the civilians she’s trying to save are trying just as hard to kill both her and each other.

And once again, Robinson delivers it in off-panel exposition, rendering it all kind of toothless.

The Justice League shows up and Jason fills them in. Somehow he now magically knows that Diana and the Star Sapphires are fighting another Dark God, I guess because his armour told him so. He also knows that the reason King Best & Less has yet to stir is that he’s waiting for something — though it’s not clear what that something is.

Because the Justice League are pros, they immediately decide that the best thing to do is to all fly right up to the super-dangerous floating murderstatue and stare at it curiously.

Supergirl: The way he’s firing those rays reminds me of the dead New Gods on the Source Wall.

oh good. Please, do talk to me more about some crossover event that I’m never going to read.

Jason: Gods? Funny, I never dreamed I’d hear that term as much as I have.

YOU ARE A DEMI-GOD, YOU FUCKING DUNCE. YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY IS GODS. HALF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE GODS.

Aquaman: Yes, old, New, Dark. Lots of gods.

I’m so glad we climbed halfway up the Big Bad’s nostrils to have this chat.

It’s at this exact moment that Bestie stops firing his eye lasers and eats the Justice League, which is no more than anybody in this book deserves. Or at least, he absorbs them or eats their energy or something. According to Jason’s useless power of infodump, he needed their power to animate his giant stone form.

Which really raises the question of why he needs a giant stone form. I’m sure it must be fun getting to trample the city and swat drones out of the sky like you’re Godzilla, but when it’s been established that you could be using your powers to induce frenzied levels of devotion and bend everybody to your will… stomping about in a giant rock suit that takes seven of the world’s greatest superheroes just to fuel seems kind of inefficient?

King B swats Jason out of the air, and then we get four pages of Best stomping on buildings while Steve tells us that the world is ending.

“The world’s gone mad. The Dark Gods are defeating everyone — armed forces, superheroes — those whom they haven’t possessed.”

Again, you’re not selling this. You expect me to believe that these dudes are an Apocalypse-level threat, but aside from Be Best eating the Justice League (we already know they’ll be fine), all I’ve seen of them is three rejects in unconvincing costumes making a half-hearted attempt to kill Jason before buggering off. Ten minutes later, I’m supposed to buy that they’ve crushed the world’s armed forces, beaten every hero and brought the entire world to its knees, all offscreen?

Best Buy tries to incinerate Jason; unfortunately Diana arrives in the nick of time to save him, and thus ends another entirely unnecessary issue.

(Oh yeah, and it turns out the big guy in the last issue wasn’t a floaty-stone-statue-Megazord, it was just Be Best. Pity; at least a Megazord might have been slightly more fun.)

[takaraphoenix]

purplesparklyinkpad replied to your post “I know how much you despise (Nooooo I totally didn't have to google...”

Ok Ima say one thing Percy was BARELY IN this series. He made a smol cameo in book 3. It's 99%Norse. But Annabeth being his cousin does make a few cameos.

*heaves a very deep sigh*

It’s not the fact that Percy is in it. It’s the fact that he’s used as a prop.

This is literal book-form clickbait.

“Magnus CHASE” - and that was all that was revealed about this book for months before any kind of synopsis or plot were released. Simply a “Maybe preorder it right away, because looklooklook it says Chase just like Annabeth CHASE and where there’s Annabeth, there is her boyfriend!!!”. Literally the first couple theories about what the heck this book even could be about were next gen. Magnus Chase, son of Percy and Annabeth - oh, we must buy for OTP and also why would he take his mother’s last name?

Clickbait.

The fact that Magnus and Annabeth are cousins is completely unnecessary. He could have written about “Magnus Hunt” and have no relations, no ties, to the PJatO series and it would still work. Nothing fundamentally makes it necessary to drag Annabeth and Percy into this, aside from the fact that they’re used as clickbait to make Percy Jackson fans buy the book and read it because they have hope.

THIS is what is fundamentally wrong with that.

It’s not like I hate reading about Percy, heck, I adore the boy. But that Riordan continues to create those vastly different approaches to how the gods work, that does not correlate to one another;

Greeks are totally modern and not the least bit Ancient Greek and they sire kids. Egyptians... possess them because they need hosts and they DON’T sire kids. Romans don’t even get their own pantheon they are just another form of the Greeks, which would be okay if it didn’t break the lore Riordan created, because unlike the Greek form they are not modern but Ancient Roman which leads to the logical conclusion that the PJatO gods are not Greek but American just like back when the Greek gods had moved on to Rome and then became Roman, so the Roman gods now moved on to the US and became American, but instead of taking this then logical approach, he pretends that the American version are the Greeks, while the Romans are real proper ancient Romans and that’s just where his world-building falls apart. And now he adds another pantheon, gee, great.

Not to mention: All of those fundamentally European - and that one African - pantheons moved to the fucking United States of Allthethings. Newsflash: America is not actually the center of the universe. A shocker, I know.

Europe. Still a thing that exists. A thing that exists and is not completely useless and disconnected.

I can let you get away with one pantheon going to the US because you want your home to be the center of the universe you’re creating. But if you then literally create a New Rome and drag a total of four pantheons to the US, it’s getting pathetic.

He should have - if he would have had the foresight of planning to use all those pantheons - gone with the logical conclusion of giving them their “main quarters” in their country of origin, at the very least. I’m not saying “move Camp Half-Blood to Athens”, I’m saying “Move Olympus to Greece“. Sure, they could have a camp in the US where you could center your plot, but why would all those pantheons seriously move to the United States? It’s getting way too ridiculous anf self-centered at this point.

I don’t want to read something that drags Norse mythology all the way to the US to glorify the United State’s importance again. I’m kind of tired of that. Over the past years, I’ve grown more and more tired of those kind of things with every mass shooting, bad decision on how to handle LGBT people and that guy who now moved into the White House. No. The USA are past the point of being the progressive, glorified center of the universe.

I’m not saying Europe is the solution to all the problems and I am also not saying “put them into Germany because I wanna have them here!!!”, heck I’m not even saying “Put them where they would be most logical. Like, Hera and Aphrodite chilling in Scandinavia because those guys know how to respect love and marriage”, but I am saying give them back to where they belong.

So, to sum it up: I don’t want to be clickbaited into reading something because clearly the author was too insecure about his story to let it stand on its own and needed to use the household name as a crutch to get it going and I am really very tired of Riordan’s American-centered narrative.

[9r7g5h]

headcanon game: aprodite

Headcanon A: what I think realistically

Aphrodite actually spends a lot of her free time at different academies and public forums to learn. Even though she plays up the dumb blonde act, she shows herself to be incredibly intelligent and that the act is exactly that, an act. People expect her to be this vapid little cloud of love, so that’s what she plays herself as. But she actually spends a ton of time reading, learning, to the point where she’s probably on par with Athena in terms of intelligence. There’s just more power in keeping it under wraps. Plus, she’s probably not the best at expressing her more intelligent side, so she just does whatever seems most fun at the moment. 

Also, I feel like Aphrodite’s one of the few gods that can cross into another’s territory. She probably makes friends all over the place, will just pop off to some far off land to hang with the gods there, and it’s always a fun time for everyone involved. 

Headcanon B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Aphrodite plays it chill and cool, but secretly? Secretly, every other god on Olympus is fucking terrified of her. 

Because I prefer the version of the myth where Aphrodite is a Titan- born from the ocean when Uranus’ cut off penis was thrown into its depths, she ruled along side all of the other Titans. However, she turned away from them and joined the gods when the gods rose up against the Titans, when they were case into the depths of Tartarus. She older than almost any of the other gods, and far more powerful too. 

Because she controls love, passion, love, devotion- she controls it all. And if she decided that “Hey, Zeus, you know what? You no longer love mortals, you’re now head over heels in love with pigeons”? There’s literally nothing Zeus could do. He would just be in love with pigeons, and would go about siring a bunch of demi-birbs. 

Sure, Ares is her balance, but she’s so much stronger than he is. Love is shown, time and again, to win out over hatred. If Aphrodite decided to turn Ares into some love-sick fool who’s fallen in love with a rock, then Ares is having sex with a rock. No if, ands, or buts about it (well, maybe one butt), it’s happening. 

So every god thanks themselves on a daily basis that Aphrodite has no desire to rule over Olympus. Because if she did, Zeus would just up and give the throne to her, just please don’t make him sleep with a bird. 

Headcanon C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Aphrodite never had a friend before. She’s had her family, and she’s probably friendly with gods from other cultures, but she’s never had that person she really connects with. The person she just wants to hang out with, even if it’s in complete silence, because she just enjoys being in their presence. The person she would send random memes to at two in the morning if they were living in present times, just because she knows they’ll get a kick out of them. The person she loves so much that isn’t family or a lover, but could easily be counted as a sister. 

Until Gabrielle. Aphrodite and Gabrielle, despite their rocky start, are amazing friends- and Aphrodite’s first. 

Which is why, after Gabrielle dies, Aphrodite goes to her in every single life, disguised as a mortal, and offers her friendship. Because she wants her friend back. But rarely does it work, because while the soul might be the same, the circumstances are different. Sometimes the reincarnation turns Aphrodite away, sometimes they try to seduce her, sometimes they become friends, yes, but not the way Aphrodite wants. It’s just not the same. 

So the first time the reincarnation remembers who she is, remembers her past as Gabrielle? Aphrodite appears, holding her breathe, and waits to see what the reincarnation says. 

And bursts into tears when she just smiles this great, amazing smile and asks Aphrodite what took her so long to get there. 

Because Aphrodite’s found her friend again, and even though it’ll probably be another dozen lifetimes before a reincarnation remembers their previous life as Gabrielle, those that do are the ones Aphrodite lives for.  

Headcanon D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

Aphrodite’s been shipping Xena and Gabrielle since the Fates first told her about them, four hundred years ago. They’re literally soulmates- the perfect incarnation of every single type of love to ever exist, all rolled into one. Soulmates like that don’t exist often, maybe only once every hundred generations or so, rarer even. So Aphrodite’s been following their story like a soap opera. 

And when Xena died in Japa, and it seems like Gabrielle’s going to have to travel alone? 

Fuck that shit, no one cancels her favorite love fest without her say so. 

So she just poofs into Heaven (because if the reporter guy could do it, so can she) and she just boxes Michael about the ears until he agrees to go talk to The Light about possibly giving Xena’s soul to Aphrodite. He goes and talks to The Light (”Sire, please, the pink one scares me.”), and The Light agrees to give Xena’s soul to her. It can’t give Xena her body back, that’s something Aphrodite will have to figure out, but it can release her soul. 

Well, most of it. She does have to be reborn into the Mother of Peace, but The Light basically splits off a chunk of Xena’s Light Side (making it harder to fight against her darkness, but what else is new?) and figures that will do for the next life, at least until Xena fully dies and goes to join her. Also, there’s a lot of good Xena can do still in the mortal realm, so the Light allows it. 

Remember how Aphrodite has all those other godly friends, outside of Olympus? Well, she just pops Xena’s soul into a locket or something, and then she goes around chatting up some of the other gods, trying to get some help on making Xena a new body. Eventually she’s able to get a god of death to spill the deets, and using Xena’s ashes and some other nargly ingredients, creates a body for her! It takes a while, perhaps a few years (like, three, maybe four, no longer than five), but eventually Aphrodite opens the locket and pours Xena’s soul into her new body, which fits quite nicely! Aphrodite is quite the artist, and while it might not be 100% accurate (the scar is on the wrong boob, Xena’s sure her hair wasn’t that thick when she died, why do I have a birthmark shaped like a heart on my ass?), it’s clearly Xena. 

Aphrodite then poofs Xena into an area nearby where Gabrielle is helping out some villagers against a marauding army, gives her a horse and her armor (which Aphrodite totally went and got after FIN. If she wasn’t gong to eventually give it back to Xena, it was totally going to be a collectible one day, duh!) and quickly poofs back into her room on Olympus to watch the drama unfold. 

(Gabrielle accuses her of being an illusion or some kind of trick by a demon/evil god, they fight, Xena catches the chakram, Gabrielle realizes it is Xena, they finish taking down the warlord, passionate kisses on the battlefield, they accept the thanks of the villagers, Xena tells Gabrielle everything that happened in the privacy of their own room at the inn, passionate reunion sex (“Xena, when did you get a birthmark shaped like a heart on your ass?”), crying as they realize they are truly together again, laughter at them both being sappy, and the beginning of another 50 year plot arc that Aphrodite can’t wait to watch every second of).