#they’re so fucking negative abt everything it’s insane

[moviestarmartini]

i’ve had such wasteful interactions with people i once considered friends and after hanging out with my best friend today my heart just feels whole 🥹🤍

[dreamertrilogys]

going into instagram comments is crazy it’s like seeing into a (much MUCH) worse alternate reality like You ppl live such unfathomably terrible lives to me….

[annikuh]

just found an old Jax fic that I never finished but has insane potential.

some guy flirts with Jax at a tavern, & their lonely little ass is falling for it and invites him up to their room. it turns out the dude’s got a nepherit fetish (og monsterfucker) & the way they react is so interestinggggg.

(under the cut bc im niceys)

bc he’s just coming onto them like crazy, begging them to feel their cold skin & Jax has no fucking clue what his deal is, yet they’re still obeying him the whole time.

& that reaction is crazy sad. so not only are they a people pleaser, but they’re also just so lonely they’d do some shit like this, just to get some nice attention. they aren’t getting off to it; they aren’t dominant & they don’t like praise or worship during sex. they don’t want to hurt this guy whose only crime is being a freak, either—there’s no justification for it in their mind. but they’re gonna give in bc they just want someone to like them more than they care about any of these other things.

it’s ALSO crazy the way they ditch their own beliefs too. Jax is constantly trying to dispel nepherit stereotypes, like it’s at the core of who they are, yet they go against it so heavy. they’re willing to beat the hell out of this guy and play out the stereotypes, of course, but they totally use their stigma the opposite way when they mention how dangerous nepherits are in the first screenshot.

like obviously I get why they’d say that, but at that moment he’s just flirting weird & they’re so quick to ditch their whole personal mission and fall back on the stereotypes they carry just because they’re scared.

AAAAAAAAND (bc he has to weasel his way into everything) that really reminds me of how Panathir weaponizes the stereotypes to protect himself too, AND how he always thinks people are trying to kill him no matter what. bc again, Oswy is just flirting with Jax & bc they don’t get why he would be, they’re immediately like “he must be trying to kill me.”

Jax trying to protect themself using these negative beliefs abt themself, and trying to convince the other person to believe things abt themself they don’t like—it reminds me of this moment Panathir has in a whole different story

like it’s so stupid bc he doesn’t want people to think he’s crazy, nor does Jax want people to think they’re dangerous, but bc they feel backed into a corner (even when the threat is just in their heads), they both double down on these things. it’s like acknowledging these things is an attempt to fool the other person’s “malicious plans.” like ‘I know what people really think about me, so you’re not gonna fool me’

counterintuitive, but they’re not the most sane nepherits.

ANYWAY I’d like to play around with this more someday. Cool concept.

[divinemackerel]

Amphi if fundy DID start growing horns like how you were thinking abt what would his reaction to em be? (Im assuming they’d start becoming a little too noticeable to ignore by around nlm)

To be honest, I think his reaction would be like- panic. Not fear, but panic. A lot of my thoughts about cFundy aren’t super- I don’t know how to put them into words but I think he does have an unhealthy attachment to Schlatt, as a person and as an idol, but having that visualized or having a connect between him and Schlatt visualized makes him uncomfortable, especially with how everyone fucking hates Schlatt (I mean, just look at his funeral lol).

I think it would push Fundy further into self isolating because he would assume when people are staring at him, they’re thinking the worst.

I also think he would at first try to hide his horns under his hat but then they grow past it and curl around his head like ram horns and his old helmets don’t fit on right anymore and it just makes him feel even more frantic.

I think he and Tubbo both develop this awful feeling that whenever someone looks at them they’re likening them to Schlatt, and it’d just be another way they’re connected (BECAUSE THEY ARE I NEED PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND HOW TUBBO AND FUNDY ARE TWO LIKE- THEY WALK HAVE GONE THROUGH SO MUCH OF THE SAME SHIT, it literally makes me insane /neg and /pos but also pisses me off bc imo it leads to Fundy getting totally sidelined at times bc Tubbo is one of the fandom favs. Tubbo and Fundy have such potential but its like- only in fanon at this point sadly.)

They never talk about it though, and I think at some point Fundy tries to like- get rid of the horns, but like every other thing he has at that point that he’s accidentally picked up from people (you could really have fun with that hc tbh, i love it sm, great way to visual also him feeling like shit is making him outcast or whatever, idk how to word it) they’re too much a part of him, too long to saw back without it being painful.

I don’t think he accepts it as part of himself though (he shouldn’t), but one day the annoyance just becomes background noise, along with everything else.

I think if Fundy ever got over his unhealthy attachments and stuff, the parts he’s picked up would disappear, but he’d always be a fox guy.

[megablade]

so like c!george has been having these dreams that seep into reality right? to the point where he can't tell what's a dream and what's reality and the Red Banquet further encouraged that I think because he kept looking around and he didn't seem overly alarmed by the fact that he might die sacrificed too the egg by what once was one of his best friends. What if like one day he's visiting dream in prison and like he decides to help him escape because he misses him and he's feeling nostalgic abt the past? except its not a fucking dream and he accidentally released one of the most dangerous persons on the server-one who's insane might I add.

Like if all the dreams he has involved his old friends somehow up till the red banquet, he might think it was also a dream because Quacktiy seemed concerned about him and 'obviously' if his old friends seem to care about him in the slightest it means it must be a dream right? cuz he's always alone when he wakes up right? and if it's a dream, why the hell wouldn't he release his best friend that he clearly misses and whom he wishes was still sane and present in his life? but it's not a dream and now sapnap and quackity will probably hate him bc they think he betrayed them, and the entirety of the server will have a free pass to kill him(and take his 3 lives) according to Sam's waivers.

the angst like holy sh*t

the angst potential for c!george (especially with new his sleeping development) is genuinely astronomical... i think that cc!george’s friendship with the feral boys makes for a very unique situation in a lore perspective. even in roleplay, george seems to stick to his close friends no matter what they’re doing in the lore (ie c!george still being close to c!dream despite dream having a bad rep across the entire server, c!george continuing to live in kinoko kingdom), but c!quackity’s relationship with c!dream is very negative, and c!sapnap’s relationship with c!dream is strained at best.

so IF something happens that makes c!george a c!dream apologist (y’know. like breaking him out of prison in a sleep-induced haze), his relationship with them, as well as the rest of the server, will crumble just as you said... like not even something as extreme as that, i feel like if c!george even voices his desire to have c!dream back, people WILL ostracize him. if c!george hears that c!quackity has been torturing c!dream, he WILL be upset (maybe even rightfully so because torture... bad) and i feel like there is definitely going to be rifts formed once everything comes to a head with c!dream... it’s going to be absolutely bonkers my friend

[smutty-ki113r]

I only showed him the one u sent before. I screenshot ur answers and then look at it when i switch. but I'll show him the other two.

well for me it's just that only my recent ex was actually nice and loving. before him; every single one of them told me; I was either boring or annoying and always made me feel like everything was my fault. so yeah. I am actually pretty confident now but I struggle with those negative thoughts still.

well it's like not the same phone? it's a copy...I can't post or look at posts. only gallery, notes and yt works (but also only for watching videos and listening to music). so i usually screenshot what I want to show them. idk if it's like that for everyone. but i just can't concentrate without music or videos in the background; i think that's why i have it.

yeah toby does talk about masky lmao. also abt hoodie. he offered to introduce me but I am scared lol; they r intimidating ngl

AW OMG tysm! well egg (first mythical oc) can fly since he got wings. she makes clothing and can communicate via telepathy. she's genderfluid btw :> and can also heal minor injuries with ✨magic✨. dusty is my boiiiii💕 i love him sm. he can create a void with his mouth or teleport; with or without others by his side. he uses ultrasound, since he is blind. big cuddle puppy. and then we have (dr.prof.mr.) newton nugget; he is a doctor and can scan u for any like irregularities and heal u. will give u free top surgery (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

why would writing be different?? it's still an original character lol. and also...u don't understand. i am super attached to my oc's too!! i even daydream abt being in a poly relationship with two of them-

send me the thing, I wanna read it bestie! :>>>

DUDE ILYSM u r beginning to be such a big part of my happieness and ngl it's kinda scary since I have a fear of loosing ppl I love... but anyways... *virtual hug* u r awesome and perfect the way u r! thank u for being so supportive.

-🃏

Damn it’s a copy???!! Insane man, WAIT SO YOU SC ALL MY FICS LIKE PAGE BY PAGE??? Awww i also love music but I can’t concentrate with it cause I jam out too hard. IF I SAW MASKY I WOULD PROBABLY CRY and stand in a corner. I think he would be confused but id just start sobbing into the corner.

Bro egg sounds so cool- i wish i had magic. The only magic i have is writing smut, god is cruel. ACTUALLY FUCK THAT ITS THE BEST POWER EVER. Dusty sounds awesome too! I want free top surgery. I WANT ONE. Please please PLEASE. Yeahhhhh you’re right they are my oc’s, im not really attracted to them. Just like they’re my kids and i see them as my entire life. TFUTYLGIUOHIP*Y&TYUFTK

I’ll post my piece!! Ngl i feel like a tinder profile. BEN PLEASE SWIPE RIGHT- haoshgpuahgpu but anyway- you aren’t boring, or annoying in any way. The people that told you that are shits and never knew you well enough to care, you never deserved that. I’ve had people tell me that too, one guy said I was an “emotional burden” and another told me I was boring him. But he plays basketball 💀 so he had no room to talk, my friend literally says he looks like a mango 🥭. If you ever wanna talk about that stuff im here ya know, you can always dm me too. I tend to hold on to the past cause trauma hit me HARD, but imma do a burn ceremony today so I can let go ✨. I have huuuuugggeggeeee abandonment issues, comes with the borderline, so I understand. YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY! *hugs you back* muah muah! Ill always be supportive!!

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[rontra]

do you have any recommendations on how to like. Take In Umineko. I think it looks really cool and I’d like to get into it, but there’s a lot of things that are confusing (like all of the different games, the manga, the anime, ect.) and I’m not really sure where to start watching/reading it. Do you have any advice on where the best place to start is?

HOH BABY NOW THIS IS A GOOD ASK

Basically, a lot of this depends on you and how you prefer to take in media. People are different after all; some people like reading long novels, some prefer comics, u know! So let’s just go over all the avenues and how to get at them, and the rest is up to you!

I’m gonna make this post very long. VERY VERY LONG. IM SO FUCKn SORyr

First, I’ll talk abt what umineko is; then I’ll discuss the various media; finally, at the end, I’ll write down what I typically recommend to newcomers! SCROLL REALLY FAST TO THE HEADERS IF U HAVE NO TIME FOR MY RAMBLING LOL

So…here we goooo

READING UMINEKO: UNTANGLING THE WEB

OR: what the fuck is umineko and why do you want me to read it, diesel?

Since this is a general To Whom It May Concern post: Umineko no Naku Koro ni (Or Umineko: When They Cry, alternatively When The Seagulls Cry) is a murder mystery/fantasy/metafiction visual novel published between 2007 and 2011. I know “murder mystery” and “metafiction” sound pretty boring when you combine them, but trust me–Umineko’s unlike anything you’ve seen, and defies explanation. Still, I’m here to do my best!

Umineko is about a rich and complicated family, and their annual family conference–and the year it goes super duper badly. On an isolated island, in the middle of a typhoon, tragedy befalls the family–on a massive scale! Someone is killing them–all of them–and the only answer that seems to be rising is–

“Beatrice did it.”

But Beatrice isn’t supposed to really exist. Not for real!! No one by that name is on the island. It’s just a story! She’s made up–Beatrice is a legend. A witch who has lived for a thousand years–who loaned the family patriarch ten tons of gold, an insane amount of wealth, in exchange for his soul. Now she’s collecting on that loan, taking everything back, with interest–the lives of the family included.

Is the culprit a human, or not? Does the witch exist, or not?Is the culprit one of the 18 people? Does a 19th person exist? Or…?And, most importantly–when the typhoon passes, will anyone remain alive on the island?

[YouTube: Umineko opening]

I’d super-recommend Umineko if you enjoy: strong characterization, a solidly built mystery (with plenty of smaller mysteries to try your brain with along the way ;) ), complex and nuanced characters, hype magic fights, Logic-Based Combat(???), deep discussions of trauma and its consequences, large casts of characters, Genre Fuckery, coping, Meta™, and milfs Complex Lore

I would, however, NOT recommend Umineko if you are triggered by/can’t stomach reading about: body horror, gore, death, trauma, child abuse, bullying, discussion of suicide, discussion of sexual assault, etc (you can message me for a more complete list of warnings; I’m happy to provide super-specific ones if there’s something specific you’re concerned about, or even give you specific scenes to watch out for. I kept this vague on purpose, but if you message me off anon or via DMs here or at @aceyasu, I’ll be happy to answer anything!)

Overall it’s a pretty dark, emotional story, with a lot of Themes™–but it’s also full of love and genuine heartfelt Feelings. I don’t think any story has touched me the way Umineko has! Of course, everyone’s experience is very unique to them, but I think Umineko has something for everyone (provided, of course, that we’re taking into account the content warnings and excluding people who can’t/don’t want to encounter those things!). The characters, music, story and message–it all has a lot of heart and it all is very important to me as an individual. Obviously no media is flawless, but I think Umineko’s good outweighs its bad…YMMV though of course :p

Also, hype magic fights.

OKAY WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY

Umineko’s story is told over 8 arcs–styled as “episodes”. I use “arc” and “episode” sort of interchangeably! Specific ones I just call “EP#” though. All you really need to know though is there’s 8 of them, of varying length, and you have to read them all for the full story.

Thankfully they’re numbered, am i right?? HAFDmgkdfmg

Each episode has its own focus within the overarching narrative and comes with its own fun mysteries and harrowing developments just for you! yay! But basically, the important thing is that they’re divided into the Question Arcs (1-4) and Answer Arcs (5-8).

Sometimes, to make things confusing, the Answer Arcs are also called “Core Arcs” or “Chiru”. I will use “Answer Arcs” here, but if you encounter those two elsewhere, that’s what they are. :p

ACTUALLY EXPERIENCING UMINEKO

(now that im done YAPPING)

The anime

Generally viewed as a poor product. It’s a bad adaption that fails as a standalone, too, because of the amount of important scenes that are missing. Don’t watch the anime first if you really want to get into Umineko. It’s a fun watch once you know how it’s supposed to go, though :p Covers the Question Arcs only, ends with EP4–so even if it was good, it would only be half the story… press f to pay respects. The opening fuckin slaps though, and all the VAs are solid.

The manga

Each Episode has its own manga adaption, usually done by a different artist (with exception of EP1, EP3, and EP8, which are all by the same artist). Generally solid; gets the most important parts. For people who want to get through quicker, the manga helps a lot.

The primary cost is that a lot of characterization doesn’t get to shine AS bright, as there’s simply no time to get into the nooks and crannies (still a great cast, though). However, the art is usually fantastic–since the artist changes every EP, it’s easy to deal with even if you don’t like a specific one’s style. It’ll be gone by next Episode!

A lot of moments get punched up by the more visual format of the manga. You really get a better sense of the characters interacting physically with one another! You do, however, run into the Scanlation Problem…..

I know, I know–most people, when given the option to, don’t want to pay for things. So when given the choice between fan scanlations and the official release, a lot of people would choose the scanlations. And they’re fine…for the most part…except for the parts that aren’t. Some parts (notably in the Answer Arcs) are…bad. Really bad. Even I can’t really understand it sometimes, despite knowing this story inside out… LOL

If you’re good at parsing Scanlation SNAFU or can’t afford/don’t want to buy it, you can find Umineko on MOST manga hosts! I don’t know which you prefer so I’m not gonna link ‘em hahahafkgmfh I usually use Manga Rock but that’s because I usually am reading on my phone and I like their app. The episodes are all numbered, so it’s pretty easy to find your way around!

On the other hand, if you have a hard time understanding poor translations, reading inconsistent typesetting/fonts, or simply Can afford it/prefer buying media, the manga is being officially released in English by YenPress! As is standard nowadays, you can get them in both physical volumes and digital e-books! However, YenPress’ release is currently ongoing–the first volume of EP8 is slated to release in March.

[YenPress link]

The visual novel

Ah, here we are–the head honcho himself…! This is the original version of Umineko. These are the ones we call “games”, and why we sometimes say u “play” Umineko, but. Really. It’s just reading. They’re kinetic novels. Its literally just reading. So I don’t know why we complicate things like that.

(“if she an .exe, shes a game”, I guess… xD)

This is where the characterization and voice of Umineko really shines! The style is often simple to read, sometimes even comically casual, but it cuts deep when it wants to. Even really simple lines can have a really strong impact–it’s a really pleasant style to read, IMO…pretty easy to understand most of the time, but emotionally resonant all the same!

Reading the VN is somewhat of an undertaking, because of the amount of hours required…It’s a far longer read. Depending on your reading speed and whether or not you pause to think/talk about things as you read, people clock in 100-200 hours to finish it.

But, on the upside–because it has so much more time than the manga, the VN can really get deep into the characters, their dynamics, and their inner conflicts. You really get a deep sense for everyone’s character and it makes most of the cast feel fleshed-out enough that you appreciate all of them to some extent (whether positive or negative :P)

Oh, actually–the original Umineko branded itself a “Sound Novel”….as opposed to a Visual Novel, where the emphasis is on, uh–Visuals–Umineko leans more heavily on audio to create its atmosphere. And the music? Fuckin rips!! The Umineko soundtrack is huge and has tons of absolute bangers. It’s easy to see why it decided to market itself as a Sound Novel rather than a visual novel–the graphics of the original PC version are simple, but the atmospheric sound effects and BGM really shines.

Here’s some enticing tracks to pique yr interest (be careful about the comments/etc though, there’s Definitely spoilers in there xD)[worldenddominator] [dead angle] [dir] [system0] [hope]

The VN nowadays is split into the two halves; if you get EP4, it’ll include 1-3 as well, essentially. Picking up Question Arcs (or EP4) and Answer Arcs (or EP8) gives u the whole 8 episodes. Easy peasy! Because we live in the future now, and retroactive inclusion of past games is just convenient!

There is an official English release now, which is a brand new luxury. It’s even on Steam! Wow! That’s the easiest way to get your paws on the hands-on experience. The translation has been slightly updated as well! Also, they added a new set of toggle-able graphics that are…um…I mean they’re certainly new…#BarelyContainedOpinionAlert

If you don’t want to pay or can’t afford it…uhhh….I used to have torrent links but they’re all dead. :T still, you can probably just find them, if you know your way around torrents. For the translation, you’ll have to either get a pre-patched version of the game, or use the translation group’s instructions to patch it yourself. 

If you can’t do either of those, or just don’t really have a preference, or…any number of reasons, you can also find all the games fully recorded and uploaded to YouTube (with or without commentary)!

As for the links, I’ve got them right h–

Wait–oh, sh–the graphics are bad?!? You think the graphics are bad? Or you think plain reading is boring? Y-you can’t understand what the background image in this scene is even supposed to be? Ah…the post-2007 struggle….

The visual novel, Part Deux: AH, THE JPEGS edition

OKAY SO I SPLIT THIS APART BECAUSE IT*S IMPORTANT

If you wanna spruce up your VN-reading experience, here’s the thing: they ported the game to PS3, with brand new graphics and–get this–full voice acting. Wow! There’s even CGs now…Jeez!

These are NOT the same graphics as the new ones from the official English release! That’s important!

SO, if you wanna spruce up the graphics a bit, or you enjoy voice acting with your novels, you can do that! People took apart the PS3 games and made patches for the PC version to enjoy the new graphics and voices. And now it’s available for the Steam version as well!

[SPRITE COMPARISON: ORIGINAL PC | PS3 | STEAM]You pick your favorite!

ALSO VOICE ACTING! WOW!! Remember how I said the anime got two things right and they were the OP and the voice cast?

SAME CAST, BABEY!!!! They are all excellent and do a wonderful job! It can really add some more interest if you struggle with staying focused on “plain” reading.

Okay so NOW the links:

You’ll have to dig up torrents yourself if you want those, bc its 6am and I’m too sleepy to… uzu

QUESTION ARCS[Physical Eng release] or [Steam page] +[PS3 PATCH]

ANSWER ARCS[Physical Eng release] or [Steam page] +[PS3 PATCH]

YOUTUBE[Non-commentated, with PS3 patch] you can find more just by searching but this one looks good to me :p

RONTRA OPINIONS / SUGGESTIONS

Personally, I favor the VN for most scenes, but the manga for my light casual reading. Y’know? The VN can be pretty…um…dense, at times.

Ironically, I think EP1 itself might be the biggest hurdle for total first-timers. It’s definitely paced as a “part 1 of 8″ for the first solid portion! By which I mean, it really takes its time establishing the cast and their individual situations. Which isn’t a bad thing–especially in the overarching scope of how long the story is–but if you aren’t sure about the premise, format, or if you’ll enjoy Umineko at all, it can be sort of…challenging.

It all really depends on the individual–things like attention span, investment, and personal preferences, imo. Some people just don’t enjoy reading that much text at once! And that’s fine! Some people love it and that’s fine! Some people think the intro is too long, some people think it’s intriguing from the start. Some really like watching character building, and some prefer to see action happening. Either way is fine, so it’s really up to you!

Usually, if someone isn’t sure, I suggest they try EP1 in manga form first, just to see if the general premise entices them; it’s fully possible to jump back and do the VN if you decide you like it! It sacrifices some characterization in exchange for exploring the main premise a little faster.

Similarly, if you just can’t get into the VN–you can read the entire thing with manga too, if you favor action over the deepest character lore. It’s still a good time and a good experience!

Though, in EP1′s favor–if you ARE sure about it, and are able to dedicate your attention to the first 10-13 hours of set-up, EP1 has one of the most rewarding escalations I’ve encountered! If you are able to sit and read a fairly long-winded introduction, you are rewarded with the most buck wild Popping Off you can imagine.

So there’s nothing wrong with jumping right in there with the VN, if you enjoy reading!

However, if you do find that the VN is dragging too much for you, you can go in reverse too–and finish EP1 by manga, then decide if you want to jump back to the VN or not. I promise, the novels pick up the pace too–it’s just getting all the introductions down that can be daunting, when the initial cast size is a staggering 18 people (plus the LORE has to be established too)!!

Just for you–if you want to get into Umineko, but struggle with EP1, I’ll offer my private archive of YenPress manga rips for EP1–read the manga, official english translation, for free thanks to your dealer friend, rontra,You will have to message me about it, though–off anon or via DMs, here or at @aceyasu.

My favorite setups when I play by myself are either Original PC Graphics + Voice Acting, or Full PS3 Patch. I personally really like the original PC graphics, but I understand some people think they’re kinda…um…Rough, to say the least xD PS3 graphics are a close second for me though.

I don’t really like the steam version’s new sprites. Some people don’t mind them, so it’s up to you what you prefer, but I think they don’t really convey the feeling as well as their counterparts sometimes… :/

But hey, everyone’s got their own opinions!

I also prefer the EP8 manga to the EP8 VN. If I have control over someone’s first playthrough, I always push over to the manga for EP8! In my opinion, it’s a rare instance where the adaption is better than its original. People have different opinions on this, of course, but since this section is My Opinions Central, that’s my opinioooon!!! :D

SO BASICALLY MY OWN PERSONAL PREFERRED STRUCTURE IS

->TRY EP1 (jump over to manga if struggling; if enjoyed manga ep1 until the end, hop back into the VN at EP2 and come back to EP1 if you want to later)

EP2-EP7 VN

EP8 MANGA(EP8 VN if desired afterwards, once the dust settles)

But you’re free to do what you want, of course. ;9

And then after that there’s some spinoffs that I didn’t talk about because that’s a post for another time. (There’s a fighting game! It’s packed full of spoilers.)

AFTERWORD

All in all, Umineko is…big. its very very big. it has a huge cast (the final count comes out to like, almost 70 characters!) and a huge story. and huge feelings.

The manga and the VN are the main avenues of getting into it. It’s easier than it looks at a glance; and yet, more daunting than it seems…

If you have the time and energy to pour hours of your time into it, Umineko is a super worthwhile story that tackles genuinely difficult material with a delicate but honest hand.

It clowns up sometimes and stumbles over its own demographic–see: Weird Vaguely Unpleasant Anime-brand Sex Comedy that springs up a lot in EP1, some in EP2, and then largely disappears save for a few dumb jokes here and there–but overall is a solidly built and solidly delivered story about trauma, love, loss, and getting your family ritual-murdered by a thousand-year-old witch who may or may not be real.

And if you have any questions at all (or just wanna talk Umineko), you can send an ask or IM me here or at @aceyasu–you can ask for my Discord too if you wanna really get into it. Or DM me on twitter! I’m happy to answer any question or elaborate on anything you’re confused about. I tried to go over this post quickly, so if I was too vague on something, feel free to ask!

The same of course applies to content warnings; if there’s something specific you’re worried about, I can answer it for you, whether it’s “does [specific thing] happen/appear” or “how much of [thing] is there, i can handle a little bit”! Anything! Of course I want people to read my favorite, but I also more than that want u all to be safe.

I’m very sorry that this post is literally three thousand words long. Umineko’s been my special interest for almost ten whole years. I get chatty! But hopefully my passion shines through and gets you excited!!!

LOVE, A BIG NERD

[jibootaes]

hello i am here for the *cough cough* bts ask shit-thing :)))) so um like 2, 4, 6❗❗❗❗❗, 8, 9, 10, 14, 15, 16❗❗❗❗ (i enjoy to see you suffer cc: ), 21, 23❗❗❗, 24, 25❗❗, 26, 28❗, and 29 - love you, aoibheee

kassy i know for a fact that you’ve given me hard questions i sware,,,, anyWAY THANK U BABE HERE WE GO

2. describe is detail the moment where you fell in love with your bias(es)?

wHOOO so here we go lads strap yourselves in this is gonna be a wild ride. sooo, as u maybe know kass i was v deeply in love with the piece of food we call googie (jungkook that lil shit) @ first bc this boy was my first introduction to bangtan. he was the first person that caught my attention (the first vid i watched was dope so yeah he was in a police uniform and he just looked so good i literally pointed @ the screen and was like “YOU”) he was just go good-looking and charismatic an d fuck the slut was cute ok. the first pics i saw of him did not help with my utter infatuation like seriously look how could u not fall in love:

so yeah my infatuation with jungkook was not short lived but dUN DUN DUN HELLO BIAS WRECKER

taehyung slid into my dms abt two months after i had discovered bangtan anD THEN THE FATEFUL SHIP TAEKOOK,,, he was literally not there one second and i was having a peaceful relationship w kookie and then fuckiNG BAM here’s this cute lil peach with the prettiest smile ive ever seen and a laugh i would like to be played @ my funeral and literally the best personality and voice ive ever seen or heard like please taehyung if you’re reading this pls marry me bb

so yeah now taehyung is my ultimate bias of all of kpop im just so in love with him. everything abt him just makes me want to pick him up and eat him like please taehyung jUST I LOVE U. i hope this answers the question lol im just all over the place bc i love him sm :(((( well the moment i fell in love w him was p much when i was rewatching the boy in luv and war of hormone mvs and i just stared rlly hard @ him and was like?? yes thank u?? ill explain more in the next question lmaO

4. the moment you knew you wanted to commit to them 

anYWAY yeah i had a brief tussle between jk and tae, many arguments in my head but like i specifically remember the moment i decided taehyung was my bias- i was sitting up in my bed and it was abt 11 pm and i was looking @ the boy in luv music mv for like probably the seven hundredth time and he just appeared w his cute orange hair and his deep voice and i just snapped inside and everything inside me melted idk i jUST LOVE MY BOY TAEHYUNG KASS U KNOW THIS

all his awkward and endearing moments definitely made me fall for him even more, especially in the early days of knowing bangtan. i watched all the “v vs. awkward moments” like over and over and i just new that i was head over heels for him even tho i was trying to deny it bc i was adamant for jk to be my ult bias for a while lol 

one of the moments specifically!! the one where they’ve won a cruise ship and the presenters are trying to tell him whats happened and hes just so confused and blank anD SO FUCKING CUTE and hes just like?? u wot m8?? and like the presenter’s like “cruise.. travel.. hAPPY” anD HE’S JUST LIKE “WOW” o my god i love him so much dont evennnnn

6. favourite kimdaily and why?

GIRL WHAT YOU TRYNA DO THIS IS HARD,,, so ummmmmmmm dear god whICH ONE

probs this one?? its just his outfit is so cute and i love those trousers on him and namjoon!! in!! beanies!! and a pink one @ that!! i fucking agree!! and wow hes so pretty in shirts like that and just everything in this pic = perfection,, im probably missing so many kimdailys but this is the one that came to mind so ye!! i love namjoon!! whatta boY!!

(this one’s also iconic,, minions who? i only know namjoon. legends only.)

8. favourite eatjin moment and why?

oml def that time jk joined in and they were making noises and doing “interpretive dance” to say how the “food made them feel” and they just went so insane that namjoon heard them and like came into the room and they stopped immediately and sat there lookin innocent while namjoon was like “what’s going on?” and jin was like “nothin dear go away ur hearing things” i sWARE THESE BOYS IM SO :’)

9. how did you feel when yoongi released his mixtape?

does this explain? but no seriously that boy set me on fire that shit was so gooD and he deserved all the praise he got for his hard work and perseverance!! i love min yoongi :(

10. when did you realise that you’re in too deep?

i think it was the moment i watched bangtan bombs and interviews with no eng subs and just smiled so wide and laughed my ass off with them even though i had no idea what the hell they were talking abt?? and also when anyone asked me what i would want for christmas for for my birthday or anything like that and it was literally just like “buy me bangtan merch please”. o and when i forced my my mum and my grandpa to watch three whole episodes of eatjin. i loved it. 

14. top 5 ‘you’re lame but i love you anyway’ moments?

1. uhhhh so basically all of american hustle life lol but specifically that one moment where taehyung is trying to get across the room while namjoon is having an interview on one side of it, and he just fucking fails @ everything and breaks lights and trips and when he tries to slide back across the room on a fucking skateboard he falls of too and trips again and just namjoon was sO DONE i loved it even tho tae is the lamest person i swear 

2. the interview where jin confirmed namjin by telling everyone that namjoon was his celebrity crush, resulting in an awkward dude hug :’)

3. when jin said he rapped just like jay-z and yoongi just fUCKING LOST IT LMAO

4. “win. lose. at the end of the day i still have this face so who’s the real winner here?”

5. when jk sang to that dude on american hustle life and the guy said “i like your voice” and jk replied “yeah, i like you” and the rest of bangtan reacted like it was the fucking best thing in the world oml i lov my idiots 

15. the very first moment where you felt their sincere passion for music?

i mean, i always knew they really did love what they were doing, it was apparent just through how they express themselves and how invested they are in getting the music and performances just right.. but i guess it was really during the start of the wings era when i realised how much effort and time and heart that namjoon and yoongi and all of the members put into the lyrics and the whole album. what really hit me was how namjoon told us abt how they all just sat with jk and cried, and how the lyrics of begin really showed his feelings. along with all the lyrics from the wings album, especially their solo songs. it really gave me that feeling of knowing that they completely loved what they were doing and loved it enough to write about their own heartfelt experiences.

16. when was the moment when you felt ‘aw, kook is all grown up now~’?

KASSANDRA I SWEA-

?? why would u make me do this 

21. what was the reason the you believed that they would make it big one day? 

i think it’s always just their sincerity and hard work and pure talent that got them where they are. they’ve worked and grafted so hard to get to this level, but it was clear to see at the start of their career how much raw talent there was there, either with their fucking lit dancing and different style of music, there’s just something so attractive abt bangtan that you just can’t deny. they are DIFFERENT and i think that’s why so many people love them. also they’re huge dorks and i love them sm :(( also!! their music videos.. damn son. if you want just one reason out of many, there’s one. captivating storylines, amazing music, beautiful boys, beautiful dancing. need i say much more?

23. how did they impact on your life positively?

um, where do i begin??? ok so, first off, i’ve made new friends since discovering bangtan, interent and irl! they have such a huge fanbase its hard not to run into a few people you connect with. also, they have always, ALWAYS made me smile everyday since i found them around a year ago… yes hello i am that sappy stan trademark but like!! my boys!! sunshines of my life!! their music always makes me feel better, i love listening to it until i can sleep at night,, i have found my soulmate too?? mr. kim taehyung?? whatta man?? also a certain min yoongi has made my cry thoughtful, sincere tears with a lot of his lyrics.. i find this positive bc he opened my eyes up to a lot actually? his and namjoon’s lyrics are always hard hitting on a lot of down-to-earth, normal subjects like school and everyday problems. also i’ve found many more posters to fill up my walls with so thats good!! they make me feel all fuzzy ok, i love them :’)

24. were their negatives in stanning them? if there was/were, what were they?

well, there are no negatives that affect me personally really.. i mean i’ve gotten some teasing and stick @ school for like something that’s not essentially “normal”. i mean, i’m from a tiny, tiny town in rural ireland so?? please fourteen year old white boys?? give me your opinions?? bc i need them so much?? tell me how weird it is to listen to korean songs and how i dont know what they’re saying and how shit they are even tho you have never even layed eyes upon them?? :/ it’s really nothing tho, my love for bangtan outshines any hate that i’ve ever received lol 

25. what kind of role do you wish to see taehyung act as?

BITCH DONT GET ME STARTED I,,,, so i really want to see him a modern day, possibly bad boy, moterbike riding, leather jacket wearing, cocky ass motherfucker,, please i dont care what type of drama it is really i just need to live out my biker!tae fantasies,, just give me a tae that i can make head canons out of with amazing gifs for backup!! just let my baby boy act his heart out :(((((((((((((((( WITHOUT GETTING MURDERED IM LOOKING @ U HWARANG U FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING I SWEAR IM STILL SO UPSET ???

26. a song of your choice that you wish for any of them to cover?

im sorry im a sinning man but i want to hear taehyung sing strange love by halsey in his sultry, deep voice so i can die peacefully. also?? tae singing death of a bachelor by panic! at the disco?? kill me?? 

28. most touching/sentimental moment of them

i think just the whole mama 2016 awards? bc they won artist of the year and jk and yoongi and jin just broke down in tears and all i could think abt was how hard they’ve worked and all they’ve been through and how they’ve been dreaming and hoping abt a day like this… and backstage, when namjoon pulled yoongi into that hug… dont even… 

29. the proudest moment of them so far

um??? when they fucking literally blasted through the charts with spring day and the whole ynwa album?? stan legends only please?? they’ve gotten so far, everything just makes me proud :(( MY BBY GOOGIE GRADUATED TOO IM

ok dude that’s everything thank u for reading this long monster ;) LOVE YOU TOO KASSY

[vinilsoup]

ok so this is a vent post caus is 2am and i woke up in pain, and im sad. Under the read more bc probably will be negative

My whole life has been a big mess. My parents were old and had an overly anxious kid (me), my mom had depression and treated me as an equal and not as a fucking child and i didnt have maturity to deal with her problems, and i started showing signs of depression really early. But instead of getting me into theraphy they put me into meds, and they always blamed me for my bad behaviator once I hit like 10 yo but like they only listened to me and my problems if i made a big deal abt it otherwise it was brushed off. They always complained to me that people said I was spoiled and it was true and somehow it was my fault and not theirs. I always felt that if I never had been born they would be happier, bc I only caused trouble and didn’t exactly knew what I did wrong. If they were in a good mood, they wouldn’t even be mad, but if I did the same thing in a bad day it was suddently a big deal.

That would have been enought to traumatize me for a long time, but idk i guess i pissed off some god or something in a past life bc I literally had to see my mother suffer a long and painful death at a hospital when I was 14. I was very close to her and the only reason I didn’t started trying to kill myself earlier is bc she was able to calm me down always, not sure how. From her death foward my life goes to complete shit. Had only one person i was able to get close to after that, and it was a pretty toxic friendship for both of us(nowadays its my best friend but i cant deny the bad past). I was also very very lonely, didnt get along with my father bc my mom used to paint him as a monster to me and i still believed that and ended up blaming him for her death which i feel really bad abt bc he was literelly depressed after her death. He told me multiple times I was the reason he was still alive, the worst part is that my mom used to say the same thing for me while I was growing up. So when she died I literally felt I had no reason to be alive anymore. 

Oh yeah and I was born into the mormon church lmao and when my mom died i started to slowly stop going to the church activities and they got mad at me bc of it like ???? when I decided to stop going, the bishop came into my house without calling, just showed at the door, and told me even if I kept following the church rules,I would still not get to heaven bc I wasn’t going every sunday.  I had told him before that i still believed it but I didn’t feel like going anymore bc I got home depressed every time I stepped into that church. After that, I wasnt able to pray for about a year bc i was terrified god would tell me to go back to the church and i didn’t want that to happen. I felt like I was going to go to hell if god was real, bc i really used to believe the mormon shit.

When things started to get better, when me and my dad started getting along and I had finally found good doctors to help me with my suicidal tendendcies (I literally tried to kill myself every month for like 2 years), my dad died. I had just turned 18. I have several issues because of trauma. I can’t trust people, I always think they’re with me bc I agree with everything and people will hate me if I don’t. I still have a lot of trouble with sexual themes bc of the mormon, i feel like i can’t slight inconvenience people or they will hate me, i feel responsable for other people hapiness, and still am not able to find I reason I want to live, I always think to live for other people, I care too much about what other people think, I’m overly sensitive, I can’t stand up for myself without feeling I’m wrong, and usually I have a panic attack if I have to stabilish boundaries with someone who disrespects me. I don’t know how to fix this. I’m trying, but its so hard to not be afraid of other people.

The good part is that I stopped trying to kill myself every month, but it still happens ocasionally. But its still very hard to me to believe things will get better, like from the beginning my life wasnt easy, and it only got harder, I absolutely still feel like my mental illness is my fault and I’m not trying hard enought to ‘beat it”. Its just so unfair, I am not able to be dependable on other people bc i feel like i can’t, i feel like i can’t be a burden and i always isolate myself. I’ve been in quarantine completely alone the last 5 months, and don’t have money to go see my family, and they seem like they don’t want me to go see them anyway. I live far from all my friends. I know this is a very bad thing but sometimes my friends tell me about their problems and I can’t take it seriously after all I’ve been thought. I try to, bc  i know what is like to not have you problems be taken seriously bc people think its not a big deal. Im very sensitive and never had my feelings taken seriously.

Like, Im supposed to believe it gets better?? It was always been hard, and I havent been able to actually enjoy life. Life was always painful and unkind to me. I had a friend who said he enjoyed life and I remember thinking he was insane, I didn’t understand, I thought life was shitty to everyone, but then I saw it wasn’t. Some people are happy. Some people don’t even have big problems. I never saw that friend of mine complain about anything. I feel bad about it bc i remember getting genuinely angry abt it, and I shouldnt be angry that other people have a good life, but I genuinely don’t understand why some people are so happy and in the other hand some people are so miserable. And I know I don’t have it that bad. It could be worse.

I’ve been dealing with my mental health my whole life, but most of the time I feel like I’m too broken to be fixed. That I never will have a life that makes me feel that being alive is worth it, because to me being alive feels like a sacrifice, it always felt. I’m scared, what if I’m never able to move foward? I don’t know if I have the strenght to fix by myself everything I have been throught. Ever since I was a kid I always said that I didn’t asked to be born and it stands to this day. I still feel responsible for my unhapiness, but I didnt ask to be me. I feel like if i was another person, id be able to deal better with all of this. 

I know its a very negative point of view, but right now its how i feel. I’m just tired, very tired.