#they’re nice enough i don’t wanna be judgey but like

[beehop]

i joined a rec kickball league in like idk an attempt to make friends and the team i got placed in honestly had the weirdest vibes

[kthynes]

jingle balls

18+

You get very merry with Lloyd.

word count: ~890

warnings: course language. Christmas fluff! Husband for Hire AU (masterlist coming soon!)

This has not been beta’d - mistakes are my own

“This is silly.” Lloyd throws his arms in the air, appearing in nothing but a fleece Christmas onesie that barely reaches his ankles. He stands in the middle of the living room, grumpy as can be.

“It’s cute and festive. Turn around.” You do a finger roll and he obeys your order, giving you a taut 360 along with a great view of his ass. “Hmm…”

“I’m getting zero circulation to my balls, y’know that?” He cups his front and readjusts himself, kicking his legs apart as he does.

“I think there’s a front snap closure…” You sympathize in a daze while shoving handfuls of caramel corn into your mouth.

“Oh good, I can let my wang out for Cujo and anyone else to see.”

“Gross.” You finally snap into realization and Lloyd drops himself next to you on the couch, dunking his hand in the popcorn bowl.

“Why’re we doing all this, sweets?”

“It’s the holiday season. Why not do all this?” You strategically lean into him, his one arm slung on top of the couch as you angle your phone up in position. “Smile for the camera, Hany.”

He smiles. You’re elated. The selfie is candid where you’re looking up at him, mouthing the word ‘smile’ at the final click. It’s sweet, endearing enough to hold onto and Lloyd is equally reverent on it as well.

“I like this one. Send it to me.” He nudges while bringing his attention back to the TV. You smile and nod, pocketing your phone for the rest of the night.

“So this is it? This all you wanted from me?” He motions to the decorated tree, half empty mugs of hot cocoa and packs of beer. An unfinished game of Scrabble and Cujo who peacefully slumbered in front of the crackling fireplace.

“Pretty much.” Your head moves against his chest, fussing to find a comfortable spot, for him to be closer than he already is.

“You good?” Lloyd makes a face and you look up at him, piercing him with a judgey gaze.

“All my exes thought they were too good to celebrate Christmas, they weren’t about the kitschy traditions and galore.”

“And you think I’m spirited like that?”

“I think my pretend boo could just pretend for once.” You harp on sardonically. “Yeah?”

“By literal means.” Lloyd snickers as he snakes an arm around and draws you in closer, shuffling right into his next question. “So how many ex boyfriends are we talking about here?”

“Well you already know about Alistair…”

“Redhead with a temper?” He confirms and you sigh. “He’s an unforgettable dude.”

“The ones that came after him were a multitude. But I don’t wanna talk about them.” You dismiss.

“OK, just remind me whenever they’re around.” He grins from ear to ear, one that’s earnest of him and his diabolics.

“So that you can deal with them?” You gawk.

“Yeah.” He exasperates. You playfully thwart him for that. He’s smitten by the action itself, throwing his head back in deep laughter.

“They’re not my problem anymore. Don’t be that guy.”

“Which one are we talking about?” He lulls and you give him a doe eyed look.

“We’re not going there.”

“Why not? I can tell you about my exes.”

“You dated a whole platoon!”

“Yeah from a sorority.” He answers as if it made the situation any better. “Now if I could go back…”

“Oh all those Ashley’s.” You croon up in his face.

“They were something alright.” He comments while looking ahead. You smelled really nice, nice enough for his hand to fall from the top of the couch to your hip, pulling you in a smidge closer.

“Couldn’t stand them.” You huff, trying to focus on the movie. “They came after me in college because you were around.”

“You know, we could’ve easily dated back then.” Lloyd considers while taking a sip of his beer. He says this in hopes that it would change the current trajectory. But it doesn’t. Sadly.

“No we couldn’t have. You worked for my father and I wasn’t allowed to see you. Literally and romantically.” During your college years, your father deployed one of his men to watch over you. Lloyd was assigned and when he was your guy, all the girls wanted him too. It was hard to make sense of the ordeal when, for the longest time, you had no idea you were being watched.

“It was weird how Tany always asked about you too.”

Tany was your old roommate. Her phrasing would be: ‘where’s gel back?’ You assumed she was talking about stationary.

“That’s cause we fucked on the rare occasion.” Lloyd harmonizes a good memory with a nasty grin on his face, telling of a time.

“In our dorm?”

“And everywhere else.” He sneakily says into the beer spout.

“Ew!”

“Look, not everyone was holding it out like you, alright?” He reminds you of a private conversation you had with your then roommate about saving yourself for marriage. He had the unsaid opportunity to hear you out but paid no mind to it till now.

“I’m not wrong for doing so.” You defend.

Lloyd’s face changes, slighting some concern but not enough to press you on about it. Instead he simply nods and points the remote towards the TV.

“We should get back to watching the movie.” He’s lighthearted and smiles. “The best part is coming up.”

You smile wobbly, reminding yourself that this, you and him, was temporary. You’re not supposed to fully confide in this man. You weren’t supposed to let go.