#they’re humanformers here

[nauti-ca]

i will be posting about my rarepair on main. thank u.

[ironladders]

this is a girlscream appreciation post

[artsy-hobbitses]

More Humanformers content coming your way!  This time I really wanted to pin down Baby!Springer to feature in a bunch of Prowl bits (Principled Bastard Man is taking centre stage again thanks to his prominence in the @represent-zine continuity cover I’m working on, keep an eye out for it!).

Baby’s tiger plush is a gift from Prowl who:

Calls them hǔ zǐ (tiger cub) as a nickname, not realising it’s the same nickname his old handler he doesn’t remember  used to call him (thus passing down the love from her the institute which commissioned him thought they had Mnemosurgeried out of him)

Realises that like him in his youth, Springer has nothing to call their own, and whatever they were given had a Purpose, ie. Puzzles and IQ/dexterity devices given to them as part of their training under Tarantulas, so he gives them something entirely their own which has No Purpose outside of being a companion and source of comfort on nights where he and Kup are away on missions (It’s baby’s favourite toy after they get over the novelty/bemusement of it being Not Useful, but Nice and Cozy and a good listener!).

[trashhole]

SEND ME GAY ROBOT DOODLE REQUESTS!!!!! (Happy pride)

A little bait gift for the starbee community

Life is being homophobic to me so I’m opening requests/asks for some tf ships for pride month, ships consist of:

- starbee (these will be prioritized, sorry I love starbee)

- scavengers (except krok, nickel, or cons4eva because idk how to draw them)

- redferno (?)

- simpatico

- possibly soundrod (idk they’re hard to draw)

I’m open to other ships too but I might not draw them if it’s none of the above or something I deeply dislike (no megastar or bumbleop sorry). I’ll draw humanformers too but they’re going to be lesbian because I don’t like drawing men (don’t come at me, I had to draw barren old men all year). I’ll draw anything on the lgbt spectrum so if you want something platonic for qpp or aroace relationships go ahead. I’m pretty open minded so if you have anything I haven’t stated here just shoot me a DM.

You can send an ask, reblog this, or dm me for your request , whatever is the easiest for you, please don’t be shy I’m desperate for requests.

Please send requests please please please please-

[soundchet-archive]

Masterpost!

Hello!! Welcome to the Storage Bin ❤️ all curated by yours truly, @redsea8me for your Soundchet needs (even tho I’m literally doing this all for myself lol) feel free to submit anything about these two!! Everything is welcome here, and feel free to tag me in soundchet stuff so it can make its way here!! Also, if you have any requests or questions for me, I’d be happy to answer them!

‼️Important Note!! NSFW content will be shown on this blog!!‼️

Everything here will be tagged accordingly, depending on what continuity, what type of post it is and such (a lot of it is going to be my own stuff lol)

Underneath the cut is a big masterlist of fics I have dug up, excluding what’s on Ao3, feel free to inform me of any others that might be out there

This will be updated whenever I find something, and when I’m able I’ll add new links to pdf versions just in case something happens and the old links no longer work

FFN

Adjustment of Plans - G1, Partly NSFW, posted 2010 (I got so scared I lost this one bc it’s no longer available on FFN but I have it saved!!)

Split - TFP, NSFW, posted 2013 (Zenophrenic, mentioned on the page used to be on Tumblr but I can no longer find their account, they may still be on DeviantArt, I’m hoping to find their art) (saved)

Do What You Have To - G1 (I believe, though it might be the movies) PG, posted 2011 (saved)

Revenge - TFP, PG, posted 2013 (saved)

Run For A Fall - TFP, PG, posted 2013 (saved)

The Bad Touch - G1, NSFW Humanformers edition, posted 2007 (saved)

Medic Fever - TFP, NSFW featuring multiple ships, posted 2012 (multi ship Ratchet fic, Soundchet is the section titled Sparkling Treatise)

LiveJournal

Echos - G1, NSFW, posted 2009

A Good Yarn - G1, PG, posted 2012

No Need to Say Goodbye - G1, PG, posted 2011

(Currently looking for an unfinished TFP fic, will be updated when I find it)

Wordpress

Training Session - TFP, Fade to Black NSFW, posted 2016 (this author also has two other Soundchet fics on Wordpress, but they’re up on Ao3 as well so I didn’t feel inclined to link them)

DeviantArt

Betrayed - TFP, Some NSFW, posted 2014 (this is a part of a longstanding series, and under Betta132 account you can find all of it under the Soundwave Series segment, the first chap of Betrayed is linked here bc it’s when the Soundchet shipping actually becomes apparent in the series)

[drill-teeth-art]

This might seem a bit out of the blue but do any of your humanformers have skin conditions or acne of any kind?

I have both and I don’t really see much of my particular condition represented much in media and I just decided to check here because your designs vary so much and they’re so inclusive too.

It’s fine if you don’t want to answer this by the way I sit really love your art

Thank you for reaching out omg! Here are a couple examples! Blitzwing here has plaque psoriasis. Flare ups come and go pretty frequently for them, so they’re used to usually having noticeable scaly patches. And Frenzy has acne, and they think it’s cute as fuck on them!

Thank you again for your interest and asking. I’m glad you felt comfortable enough asking! And I hope you do get to see good representation of the condition you have because everyone deserves to see good representation of their experiences. Have a great day/night!

[tiesthatbind-tf]

I’ve been wanting to ask about your Humanformer Soundwave and the rest of their “Cassettes” and what kind of relationship they have with all of them

We’ve seen Ravage and Laserbeak (and we know that they have a familial relationship)

I’ve also seen a reference drawing of Rumble and Frenzy, mentions of Buzzsaw and even Glit, but I’ve been curious about the rest of the “cassettes”. Them being: Enemy, Flipsides, Garboil, Squawktalk, Sundor, Wingthing, “Cassette”!RatBat, Howlback, Beastbox, Overkill, and Slugfest

(I’ve asked this on the other account but after seeing this one, I was unsure whether or not I needed to ask specifically here)

Hello hello! I did see your earlier ask a while back but it’s been buried under a pile of other asks now—very sorry!— but thank you for resending it here! Lore questions would indeed be better directed here so it’s clear of the personal natter on my Main haha.

Regarding your question, all of them—except for RatBat—are currently alive in the universe, but are not all Decepticons. They’re more aligned with Soundwave that’s they are with the Decepticon agenda at the end of the day.

The gist of it is that they were part of a project by RatBat (back then a senator) to create Beastmen in adulthood/force the mutations rather than rely on prenatal genetic editing of Cold Constructs to get the results they want.

When Soundwave found out about this and were EXTREMELY PO’ed about it (They got permission from Megatron to deal with RatBat personally), a fight happened at RatBat’s lab and RatBat became a accidental victim of the same tech he was bankrolling, and became a Beastman as well.

Soundwave freed the others who were locked there for testing and told them that since RatBat is personally responsible for what happened to them, that they had more right to decide on his fate than Soundwave did, and Soundwave left RatBat to their mercies (or lack thereof) while they collected data on the experiments to destroy.

RatBat did not survive their trial by mob justice and after it was over, Soundwave offered to bring them to the Decepticons; Some agreed, others wanted to make their own way in the world, but all still answer to Soundwave’s call for aid whenever it comes in.

I believe one of my mutuals is working with Howlback and Beastbox! The rest are side characters currently with no development yet, though people are free to pick them up and play with them in this sandbox!

[mochifiction]

Is the Transformers Earthspark brainrot back? Mhm. Will I be doing humanformers designs for ALL the Terrans? Yes. Is it because I’m Black and Filipino and want to show the differences in multiracial individual appearances and how they’re all beautiful? Also yes. So, here is Nightshade! I love incorporating my cultural attire in designs of characters, so I went a little nuts here for Nightshade. They are wearing the infamous Filipiniana bolero with its butterfly sleeves. I also included a salakot, which varies in designs from what I remember. I feel like Nightshade would deeply treasure and study their cultural heritage and history, and do whatever they can to display their culture with deep pride. I also definitely believe Nightshade would be the best at Tinikling out of all the Maltos-

[postapocalyptic-cryptic]

@autobotjazzweek day one! “Behind the visor.” Even though it’s humanformers, I hope the part that fits the prompt got across

Jazz sinks down into Soundwave’s couch with a sigh. As soon as she’s done getting comfortable, Ravage is on her, smelling her face and hair carefully before settling down in her lap to knead the blanket and, wherever they’re uncovered, Jazz’s thighs. Jazz pets him, gives him a scritch under the chin, and he starts to purr. She smiles.

Soundwave comes into the living room carrying the two promised mugs of tea. They set them on the coffee table before leaning down and taking Jazz’s face in both hands. She closes her eyes and lets them pull her into a quick, gentle kiss. They take a moment after to run their thumbs along the dark circles she knows are under her eyes. She opens them to see Soundwave’s default blank expression, worry betrayed by the tiny line between their eyebrows.

“Jazz: works too hard,” they admonish. “Soundwave does not enjoy seeing you like this.”

The couch sinks a bit under Soundwave’s weight, drawing them together. Jazz leans against Soundwave’s shoulder and closes her eyes again. She’s tired, and the warmth and familiarity of Soundwave’s apartment isn’t helping. “Mm.”

“University: second to health, happiness. Second to taking care of yourself.” Soundwave puts a hand on the side of her head. They draw her closer and scratch lightly at her scalp as she buries her face in their sweater, breathing in the scent of them and letting the last thoughts of deadlines and theses and unbalanced equations and glitching code slip from her mind. Ravage purrs louder.

Before she knows it, she’s falling asleep to the tune of the circles drawn on her scalp and Soundwave’s soft, steady breathing. It’s nice here, in their apartment. Safe, and no one ever demands anything of her. There is no guilt in falling asleep on Soundwave’s shoulder. She’s not missing anything that can’t be fixed by remaking her cup of tea later. Maybe Soundwave had the right idea with the whole not going to university thing. They certainly seem calmer than Jazz.

“No more thinking,” Soundwave says into Jazz’s hair. “Jazz: go to sleep.”

“Roger that,” she murmurs.

[m0thisonfire]

Blog Masterlist and Rundown:

Where I reblog memes and art, and post my art and stories too-

—

Ao3 link- I post fanfiction on Tumblr from time to time, but you can find most of my stories on my Ao3 account!

—

Sideblogs:

cr0ssingmoth for all my Levi thirsting and Aot oc tormenting needs.

—

Current hyper fixation: Afk Arena/Journey

—

Tags and characters-

I mostly reblog memes and such, but you can find my art under the ‘m0th draws’ tag! My writing should be under ‘m0thwrites’ if you want to see some drabbles I haven’t posted to Ao3

The characters I mainly write for right now are from Tfa and a bit of Tfp, and that includes ocs and self inserts for them too!

The main s/i is Faux Pas, and is her main tag!

The lesser ones are listed under the name Grey! Tfa or Tfp Grey have their own little niche that pops up here and there, no definitive tag yet-

The two Tranformers that currently occupy my mind 24/7 are Prowl and Starscream, so expect to find *a lot* about them on this blog- and by alot, that includes a ship for them. You can find it under the Ninjastar tag!

The lesser known ocs I talk about once in a blue moon is Devanii Hellfrost and Sybil Jorther. The only lore you’re getting of those two is from tags and obscure Tumblr reblogs, but they’re here too.

Syvanii stories:

Damned if I do, Damned if I don't

—

My current brain worm is my OC Caramele! You can find him under his name and 'the ringmaster' tag!

—

Another tag worth mentioning is the comms tag! Every now and then I get wonderful commissions that definitely need to be checked out! The artists are phenomenal and I do love the pieces they were kind enough to work on!

Status on asks-

Always open. I may take a while to respond due to work and gathering my courage, but I encourage questions and asks. Just expect awkward response in the beginning since, of course, I am not yet used to asks-

Current aus I have I feel are worth mentioning- (more likely to be added)

The Faux Pas au. Everything is the same except for the fact Faux Pas exists in the Tfaverse and is there to solely cause problems and go through problems.

Holoform/Humanformers au. Human Error if it actually happened, but Meltdown, Blackaracnia, and Soundwave are the main causes. All Cybertronians on earth turn into humans and is essentially a huge slice of life sitcom. Focused primarily around Starscream and his redemption arc.

Bounty-22 au. A work in progress, but Cybertronians and humans living in cowboy times. Prowl-centric in a way, him exploring the Wild West looking for vengeance and an artifact while traveling with an outlaw he doesn’t know is an outlaw. (The outlaw is Starscream, the best and worst liar in the west. I just really love Starscream, okay? But never fear, Lockdown plays a huge part in this au too. Because you can’t have cowboys without Lockdown.)

Zombies/Last of Us au. Yes, that’s right. Softbody robots and horrors beyond imagining. Another work in progress, but based around survival and zombies. No, none of the main cast die, I love them too much for that, they deserve their little community during the apocalypse.

Dead Space Au: A newly recruited Tfa Autobot Starscream replaces Isaac Clarke in the events of Dead Space. If you know Dead Space, you know he’s fucked mentally and physically. If you don’t know Dead Space, space zombies and serious fucked up shit. The Thing level horror. Know he is not coming out unscathed.

Tfa Ninjastar Twilight au: Exactly what it sounds like. The werewolves don’t exist here, and Starscream is the human in place of Bella. Takes no shit and runs most of the show because he’s Starscream. Meyer has no power here. I’m highjacking the lore and making all the characters suffer.

[hibiscera]

Who would win in a fight: ProwlBulk or CrowMoth

Oh ProwlBulk, no question.

Aside from the fact that they’re Giant Robots, Prowl has a huge advantage with his formal training AND processor over matter. Drury is an inventor at least, so he could do a decent enough job countering them. But what’s Scarecrow gonna do? Use fear toxin on machines he doesn’t know anything about? Jon won’t last a minute.

However. I DO have a humanformers superhero AU where the fight may be more even… I mean ProwlBulk would still probably win! Prowl’s an alien with shadow based abilities AND he has his formal training. And Bulkhead of course has super strength!

But fear toxin would be effective here… not sure how much on Prowl since he’s an alien, but Bulkhead would be at a big disadvantage from that. Drury’s also a much stronger contender here now, with his super enhanced strength and moth abilities. He might be able to give Prowl a good challenge!

Also like. I do believe Prowl would sheer force his way through fear toxin effects. 😭 He’s that kind of guy.

[whatudottu]

I’ve been rotating humanformer Skyquake and Starscream around in my head quite often, so I decided to pick myself up by the bootstraps and force myself into outfit design, so that there’s at least the brief mention that Decepticons (and Autobots but they’re not here) have an ‘on-duty’ fit.

Heheh, I think I like making seeker wings into capes/shawls/whatever it is I’ve done- and I wanted to keep the rest of the outfit looking like an actual uniform, and something where Skyquake isn’t walking around with a half unbuttoned shirt in serious company.

doesn’t make him suddenly understand how to make a neat, even tie but what are you gonna do? suffer like i did lmao-

[bluekat12345]

TFA AU: Humanformers

This was actually an AU I’ve thought about for a while, but was hesitant to share because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to explain it well. My writings on my AUs tend to disorganized already, so I wanted to wait to I could properly explain this AU idea before sharing. I think I can explain now, but in case you still don’t understand it, don’t be afraid to ask, and I’ll answer the best I can.

Humanformers

As the title hints, this is an AU where our beloved Autobots are humans.

In this AU, the main Autobots start out as humans, but gain the ability to turn into giant robots thanks to the Allspark.

However, in this AU, the bots they turn into had lives of their own on Cybertron. I wouldn’t really call this a reincarnation thing, more like they main characters were given the ability to transform into Autobots that had died.

I actually got inspiration from Steven Universe, mainly how Steven inherits his mother’s abilities after giving up her physical form for him to be born, but he inherits her problems as well and most of his enemies think he’s his mother when they first encounter him.

So that’s a major theme in this AU, the characters often have to deal with the consequences of their predecessors’ actions.

They’re basically Superheroes in this AU, more than they already are in the show. Meaning, they actually keep their identity a secret from others, with only Sari knowing their identity at first. Maybe Isaac Sumdac and Captain Fanzone later on.

And they basically look like their human forms from Human Error. It was there so might as well use it.

You know how in other TF shows, the main group are experienced and respected heroes? I’m going to use that here. While the crew in this AU basically have the same personalities as the canon, their predecessors’, the bots they turn into, were indeed those experienced and respected warriors. So while Decepticons and Autobots are expecting skilled heroes, what they really get is a bunch of rookies who have no idea what they’re doing or what’s really going on.

Characters

Optimus Prime: Orion Fanzone. That’s right, for this AU, he’ll be son of Captain Fanzone. He is a recent college graduate who just starts working at Sumdac Industries. While Fanzone isn’t too fond of machines, Orion would be pretty okay with them. He, of course, would be the reluctant leader of this team. At first, he would be pleased to be able to help people and be a hero, but he would be the most negatively effected by his predecessor’s past.

Prowl: Pierce Roberts. He’s a park ranger in this AU, which I thinks makes sense, since he loves nature in the show. I imagine him being least effected by his predecessor's past, and would even be sympathetic to what his predecessor went through, and the one who deals with having to deal with his predecessor’s past the best.

Ratchet: Rowen O’Donnell. A doctor, a veteran, and family friend to Captain Fanzone and Orion. He, at first, would want nothing to do with all of this, but would more or less be convinced to do so by Orion. Aside from Pierce, he would be more understanding to his predecessor's past, since, as a veteran himself, he can empathize with what his predecessor went through.

Bulkhead: Benjamin ‘Ben’ Hudson. A college student who is an art major. He would have a love-hate feeling for his new abilities. He would enjoy smashing things and would be pretty fun, but he would hate how much damage his accidently causes. He’ll learn to be more carefully and how to use his new abilities for his art.

Bumblebee: Barry Baker. A high school senior. I wanted to keep him as the youngest, but not too young. He would be the most excited about being able to turn into a giant robot and would, at first, be irresponsible with his new powers, but he would mature over time and learn that he can’t just play around with his power. ‘With Great Power comes Great Responsibility’.

Story

In this AU, during the Great War between the Autobots and Decepticons over the Allspark, there was a finally battle between Megatron and Second-in-Command Optimus Prime, Top Medic Ratchet, Master Cyberninja Prowl, Wrecker Bulkhead, and Scout Bumblebee.

However, while the Autobots are victorious, Optimus Prime and his team did not survive, and their ship and the Allspark was lost. Many assumed the team killed Megatron, but Starscream had a hand in Megatron’s demise.

And as we know, Megatron and the ship would fall to Earth, with the ship falling to Lake Erie and Megatron being found by Isaac Sumdac.

The only thing that would remain of the original team would a shard of each of their sparks. And those shards would somehow find a way to the new team, and those shards would allow them to transform.

Eventually, the team would find a way to each other. For now, I imagine them all coming together during that monster attack during part 2 of the first episode “Transform and Roll Out!”

I imagine they had transformed at least once before the events of that episode, but that would be the first time they would’ve done so together. They’re fighting and teamwork would be sloppy and uncoordinated at first, but they would manage to get the job done and save Sari.

Shortly after their victory, the Allspark would call them to it, and wanting answers, the group would follow, with Sari being brought by Barry in secret.

But of course, they wouldn’t really get any answers as the Allspark is a very cryptic item. But it would still give Sari her key, which can still allow her to heal the crew in their robot forms and use it on other machines.

Sari would be the one who suggests they become superheroes. Barry and Ben would be quick to agree, Orion and Pierce would hesitate at first, but eventually agree, and Rowen would be “No, I’m too old for this.” Orion would eventually convince him to join.

So overall, the show would be about them being Superheroes, with only Sari knowing their identity and aiding them in whatever way she can.

But like a lot of superhero stories, it doesn’t take long before their secret lives as heroes start affecting their civilian lives, both in good and bad ways.

And it gets worse when Decepticons come after them, wanting to kill them for reasons the team doesn’t understand and thinking their someone else. Starscream would be the first, wanting to take the Allspark from them and gloating at how he killed Megatron, and they don’t even know what the heck he’s talking about.

Of course, as more Decepticons attack the team for things they didn’t really do and how the pressure of keep their superhero lives a secret would take a toll on each of the members. And it would get worse when the Elite Guard arrive, believing that their fallen heroes had returned, only for it to be just a bunch of humans turning into them.

There would be moments where each of the members would try to quit and try to return to their ordinary lives because it becomes too much for them. But they would eventually returning to being heroes, despite the difficulties.

Eventually, they would learn to not let the pasts and sins of their predecessors affect them too much, and sometimes, they may even be able to fix or at least make peace and bring closure for those past problems, showing that while they are rough around the edges, they much just be better than their predecessors.

Extra

When Sari is forced to leave her home, Orion is the one who becomes her temporary guardian.

None of them live at the Warehouse. Its more of an unofficial team base where they meet up and try to practice their new abilities.

They would still be able to turn into vehicles, but only in Cybertronian forms and that’s not something they do often, only when they need to get somewhere faster.

They don’t go by their Cybertronian names or really call themselves Autobots. They’re only called by those names when Decepticons or other Autobots call them that, thinking that they’re someone else. And soon, human civilians call them that.

Also, I was thinking, as a way for the main group to learn more about their predecessors’ pasts, The Allspark would allow to tap into their memories so the current team can get a better understanding of who these bots were.

Megatron would be the only one to really know that team are not the bots he faced in the past, and would at first consider them minor inconveniences.

I think this is the biggest AU post I’ve done so far. As you can probably tell, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. If I wasn’t already procrastinating with my two current fics, I’d probably write a fic about this AU.

[artsy-hobbitses]

Who are the most likely of your Humanformers to find out they had a kid years after they’re born? (Excluding Prowl because Springer, technically, counts, but I would argue that it doesn’t because Prowl did not actually DO anything regarding his conception)

Sideswipe, Thundercracker and Jazz have actually had flings/one night stands here and there in the past, so there is likelihood for either of them.

Starscream was actually a manwhore, but as he’s a CC, it’s highly unlikely he’d have a kid running around from his rendezvous.

[seehowsupplethespineis]

Prime Hips Don’t Lie

(This is set in our Humanformers Wildbreak AU. Basically, this AU vaguely follows post-war IDW in the TFP universe. Starscream becomes president. Knock Out adopts Wildbreak. Optimus is a tired grandpa. That’s basically all you need to know for this story. If you want more information, here’s a convenient rundown Drawing Entity typed up a while back.)

(Summary: A lot is riding on this break-in. Optimus getting stuck in a window is a complication Starscream could really do without.)

(Warnings: Minor injury...that’s about it)

(Note: This story is the result of a joke between Drawing Entity and I that got way out of hand. In fact, they’re the one that suggested the line that is now the title. This fic is purely meant for a good laugh, which I hope it brings you!)

It was far too dark out to be sneaking around like this. Every other step, Starscream found his heeled shoes tripping over a curb or stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk. Heels probably weren’t the way to go for breaking and entering but he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything else. So, stepping carefully, he trekked onward, muttering curses under his breath.

“What was that?”

Starscream had almost forgotten Optimus was with him. For someone so large, the Prime was surprisingly stealthy. It was honestly a bit spooky.

“Nothing,” he snapped, “I’ll just be glad when we’ve retrieved that stupid speech.”

A low hum was the only response he got. The president sighed and rounded on the Prime.

“Is the written speech really that necessary? Can’t I just wing it?”

He received a stern look in response. Optimus’s disapproving glare wasn’t at all threatening - unlike Megatron’s - but it still served to make Starscream shut up. Something about it radiated an almost paternal disappointment. Starscream wasn’t sure why it was so effective.

“It is an important speech, Starscream,” Optimus admonished, “Every Autobot and Decepticon will hear it. If you inadvertently say something that could be misconstrued as offensive to either side, the unrest will only worsen.”

Starscream glanced away, telling himself it wasn’t because of the dad glare. The Prime was right, of course. He’d just wanted to complain.

“Yes, yes, I’m well aware,” he sighed loudly, “Let’s just get this over with. And remember- they cannot see us.”

Optimus shook his head, “I do not see why-”

“I brought you along solely as a lookout, Prime,” he growled, “I do not require your commentary.”

“But there is no need for all this stealth,” Optimus continued, as if his president hadn’t spoken, “If we explain the situation-”

Starscream cut him off, “I hardly command enough respect in there as it is. If they find out I forgot my very important speech that I convinced them I wouldn’t forget, I’ll be done for.”

“I am certain that is not true,” Optimus stated reassuringly.

Starscream rolled his eyes, “Yes, well, you don’t know them like I do. They’re vicious,” he shivered, “Also, I cannot afford to lose this bet.”

He didn’t have to look to know the Prime was frowning, “What bet?”

“It doesn’t concern you,” he snapped, impatiently waving away the question, “Besides, we’re here.”

Optimus followed his gaze to the structure in question. It stood out amongst the others surrounding it- a stark red beacon in the dark. Starscream led the way round back. He’d already planned how he’d get in: a window located about five feet off the ground. However, he had not planned for the bush blocking his way. Somehow, that detail had slipped his mind.

He considered his options. Stepping forward, he attempted to open the window from afar. Even with the tool he’d brought to pry it open, his arm was too short to reach. Huffing in frustration, he settled back.

“Now may we simply knock?” Optimus asked. Glancing his way, Starscream suddenly thought of a better idea than forging through the foliage. As the former Decepticon commander looked him up and down, the Prime frowned, until realization dawned on him. A small sigh escaped him.

“Must I?”

Grinning, Starscream thrust the tool into his hand, “Your president commands it.”

Looking very tired all of a sudden, Optimus held the tool limply and trudged toward the window. As Starscream had anticipated, the Prime had no trouble reaching to jimmy open the window. In fact, he seemed quite adept at it. It brought to mind how stealthy he had moved before.

“New plan,” Starscream proclaimed in a whisper, “You go in. I’ll be lookout.”

Optimus turned to frown at him, “I did not agree to that.”

“Oh, come on,” the president waved a hand in exasperation, “You’re obviously suited to this. You have a better chance at not being caught.”

It was subtle, but Optimus seemed to bristle at Starscream’s words, drawing himself up ever so slightly.

“Why would I be ‘suited to this’?” he asked, sounding just a touch offended, “I am no criminal.”

Starscream resisted a sigh, “Of course that’s what you choose to focus on. Look, you yourself have stated the importance of this speech. Is light breaking and entering really so criminal compared with the sabotage of continued stability on Cybertron?”

His eyes widened pleadingly as he blinked up at the Prime. Optimus glanced from him, to the window, and finally up at the night sky.

“If you would just-” he began.

“This is the only way!” Starscream cried in a loud whisper, “Now obey your president!”

With as much authority as he could muster, he jabbed a finger at the window. Optimus dragged his gaze back down to him. Starscream nearly caved at the steeliness he saw there. Just when he was about to crack, Optimus heaved a  sigh.

“If there is, indeed, no other way,” he mumbled as he set the tool on the ground and gripped the window sill. Starscream stifled a sigh of relief.

“I left it in the couch cushions,” he informed the Prime, who did not respond.

With the bushes snagging at his shirt, Optimus awkwardly shuffled forward, torso halfway buried in the leaves. Still gripping the sill, he pulled himself up. The window was narrow, so he had to twist himself sideways to fit his shoulders through. For a moment, it seemed he might be too big. It was with a small grunt that he finally managed to force his upper body inside. Starscream would have applauded if they weren’t trying to be quiet.

This was going to work! Optimus would be in and out in no time and Starscream would be able to prove himself a competent leader. No bets would be lost anytime in the near future!

Of course, just as things started to go well, they took a turn for the utter worst.

As Optimus struggled to fit the rest of his body through, the window pane came falling back down. It landed solidly on the Prime’s side, causing him to drop his precarious sideways position. Starscream could only watch as Optimus’s hips became wedged in the narrow space. For his part, Optimus only gave a monotone “Ouch.”

“Come on, keep going!” Starscream hissed.

After some brief moments of toil, it was clear the Prime wasn’t going anywhere. He said something that was muffled by the glass. Taking the plunge, Starscream waded laboriously through the bushes until he could push up on the window pane. Optimus strained to catch a glimpse of him.

“I appear to be stuck,” he stated simply.

That was Starscream’s cue to panic.

“How can you be stuck?!” He looked to Optimus’s sides. It was a wonder the wall hadn’t cracked with how tightly his hips were squeezed in. Actually, on closer inspection, he could see web-like fissures in the plaster. Releasing the window pane, Starscream tried yanking desperately at the Prime’s shirt, then his legs, putting his full weight behind the effort. It was futile.

“Please, stop,” Optimus grunted, “This is uncomfortable enough as is.”

Letting one Prime leg flop back to the ground, Starscream threw his hands up, “What else am I supposed to do?!”

Before Optimus could respond, the window pane crashed back down on him.

“Ouch.”

Starscream buried his face in his hands. After literal decades of war, Optimus Prime - leader of the Autobots and bearer of the Matrix of Leadership - was finally at his mercy. The Starscream of those war torn years would have rejoiced in this victory. The Starscream of now wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Not only was he not going to get his speech and possibly start a civil war, but he was also responsible for sidelining the literal most important person (aside from himself) on all of Cybertron! Worst of all, he was definitely losing that bet.

That - more than anything - drove Starscream into action. 

He marched forward once again. The bush clung greedily to his pants and coat, but he powered through in order to thrust the window pane up as high as it could go. His hands fluttered nervously over the rigid Prime before settling on his lower back.

Optimus stiffened, “What are you-”

“You want to get unstuck, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then hold still!” Inhaling sharply, Starscream lunged forward. Optimus’s muscles tensed beneath him as Starscream scurried over his back. He tried to move as quickly yet gracefully as possible, but found himself tumbling clumsily to the floor anyway. Heart pounding, Starscream remained completely still until he was certain no one had heard. Then, he shakily pulled himself to his feet, using a counter just beneath the window that he hadn’t noticed before.

Propped up on his elbows, the Prime looked up at Starscream with narrowed eyes, “Your knees are pointy,” he stated matter-of-factly.

Starscream scowled as he dragged the window pane back down without hurting Optimus (though he briefly considered slamming it down after the comment).

“I could just leave you here, you know?”

It was a clear bluff; if Starscream left the Prime stuck, he’d surely be found later, and the true reason for this night’s break-in would come to light. Still, Optimus couldn’t exactly afford to take the risk, so he shut up.

“That’s what I thought,” Starscream huffed as he spun around. Stepping gingerly, he swiftly made his way to where he’d left his speech. He sighed in relief when he saw it was where he’d left it: wedged between the couch cushions; he’d had to shove it in there when a certain pair of curious eyes happened upon him. The speech was supposed to have been completed days ago and - with the dreaded bet looming over his head - he couldn’t afford to be found frantically finishing it. Luckily, he hadn’t been found out, and so he slowly pulled the crumpled papers free and hurried back the way he came.

Optimus seemed strangely patient given the circumstances; but for a finger tapping silently at the counter, there was no indication that he was upset in any way. If their roles were reversed, Starscream knew he’d behave the exact opposite.

Setting the speech on the counter, Starscream reluctantly held out his hands.

“Come on,” he murmured, “We don’t have all night.”

After a moment spent considering the offered hands, Optimus slowly reached out and took his wrists. His large hands completely swallowed the president’s bony wrists; despite that, his hold was surprisingly gentle.

Not wasting another second, Starscream tightened his grip on Optimus and heaved. As before, the Prime didn’t budge. Starscream strained against him, even planting a heeled boot on the side of the counter for purchase. Eventually, he let go and stumbled back.

“Gah,” he breathed in frustration, “Why are your hips so deceptively big?!”

Optimus pressed his elbows back on the counter and glanced up at him, a frown marring his features.

“My hips do not lie, Starscream,” he stated primly. Whatever Starscream had been about to say completely fled his mind. All he could do was stare in disbelief. There was no way he’d heard that correctly, was there?

“Did…” he paused to collect himself, “Did you just-”

“Primus, I wish I’d recorded that!”

A high-pitched yelp escaped Starscream as he spun around, nearly toppling over as his heel skated over the smooth floor. Dread seized his heart as he caught sight of the person who’d spoken. He was partially in shadow, but Starscream could still make out that familiar, smug grin. With a sinking sensation, he realized he was doomed.

“Settle down there, Screamer,” The lights flicked on, revealing Knock Out leaning in the doorway, “I should be the one panicking. After all, you broke into my home.”

Starscream’s mouth went dry. After several embarrassing attempts, he managed to speak.

“How- How long have you been there?”

“Long enough,” the medic turned to Optimus, “I take it our dear president roped you into whatever this is?��

Optimus seemed reluctant to agree, likely out of a wish not to be unkind. Unfortunately, his silence was answer enough.

Knock Out nodded, “I see. Why, pray tell, have you broken into my home?”

Without thinking, Starscream’s gaze flicked to the speech on the counter. He ruthlessly cursed himself when Knock Out followed his gaze. Something bright and terrible ignited in the medic’s eyes. Starscream felt the sudden urge to scramble back over Optimus and flee, though he knew that would only delay the inevitable.

Knock Out strolled past his president and scooped up the speech with deliberate slowness, “What’s this?”

Starscream’s hands curled into fists, “You know what it is!”

“Do I?” the medic made a show of examining the papers, “Oh, so I do.”

“Just say it!” Starscream snapped, “I’ve no need for this pantomime!”

“But I do,” Knock Out grinned evilly and casually called back over his shoulder, “Wildbreak, it’s safe to come down, honey! The Prime and president just stopped by for an unconventional visit!”

It was then that Starscream noticed something gleaming in the shadows where Knock Out had been. He recognized the arc of the medic’s saw.

“Were you going to kill us?!” he cried shrilly.

Knock Out waved the question away, “Only if you were actual intruders. Lucky for you, both your voices are incredibly recognizable.”

“So if we hadn’t spoken, you’d have killed us?!”

“Hush, Screamer. These hysterics ill-befit a man of your standing.”

Starscream spluttered wordlessly as Wildbreak cautiously stepped into the room. Touseled dark hair shaded the boy’s drawn eyebrows. It struck Starscream that it was the middle of the night and yet Knock Out looked as put together as ever. Evidently, the boy hadn’t learned his father’s secret.

“Uncle Starscream? O-Optimus?” Wildbreak stared in bewilderment at the Prime’s predicament, “What are you doing?”

Optimus looked more than a little embarrassed as the boy oggled him. Starscream crossed his arms and glared.

“I came for my speech, okay?! I forgot my speech!”

Wildbreak’s eyes widened. Glancing up at his dad, the two shared a glance that could only be described as ecstatic.

“You lost the bet!” Wildbreak cried, all traces of unease evaporating.

“What was this bet?” Optimus broke in suddenly.

Knock Out gestured theatrically toward Starscream, “Care to fill him in?”

Exhaling loudly, the president explained as quickly as he could.

“These two have been pestering me about my supposed ‘incompetence’ for weeks, so I bet them that I wouldn’t forget something critical this week,” his shoulders slumped as he mumbled, “It seemed easy to win at the time…”

“You know what that means?” The malicious glint in Wildbreak’s eye far too closely resembled his father’s. Starscream felt as if he were being attacked on two fronts.

“Yes, I know what it means!!!” He had no choice but to resign himself to his fate. A bet was a bet, and he had lost. The consequence was too terrible to think about. Fortunately, a convenient distraction lay in the window beside him.

He waved an impatient hand at Optimus, “Will one of you help me free the Prime? I take it you don’t want him as a permanent wall ornament?”

“Speak for yourself,” Knock Out purred and was rewarded with a bashful head duck from the Prime. Grinning triumpantly, the medic took hold of one Prime hand while Starscream seized the other. Wildbreak hurried to lift the window pane as his father and uncle began counting. On three, they both pulled with all the strength they could muster. Expecting the same resistance as before, Starscream was not prepared for the Prime to instantly break free. Neither was he, it seemed, as he couldn’t prevent himself from collapsing on top of his rescuers. The breath rushed right out of Starscream the moment he hit the floor. Wheezing, he watched blearily as Optimus hastened to stand.

“My sincerest apologies,” The Prime stooped to help a limp Starscream to his feet while Wildbreak assisted his dad, “Have I injured either of you?”

The concern in his voice surprised the president, though by now it shouldn’t; as a Prime, Optimus was duty-bound to care for others, even former enemies. Still - at least for Starscream - old instincts died hard.

He shrugged out of Optimus’s grip, stumbling only slightly, “I’m fine,” he gasped.

Knock Out smoothed a hand over his hair, which somehow brought it back to its usual immaculate state, “Aside from a bruised spine? Aces.”

Optimus glanced over them briefly before nodding to himself. He rolled his shoulders back experimentally, assessing his own injuries.

“Thank you,” he breathed, massaging a spot on his back, “I was beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic.”

Wildbreak spoke before the former Decepticons could respond, “I think you broke the plaster!”

Starscream squinted at where the boy was pointing. Sure enough, bits of plaster had broken off from the inside of the window. There were hints of it on Optimus’s pants.

“Woah,” Knock Out breathed, “Prime hips really don’t lie.”

Optimus self-consciously lifted his hands to his hips before wincing and pulling away.

“Perhaps,” he agreed, “But they would still appreciate some ice.”

“I’ll get it!” Wildbreak dashed out of the room. Knock Out watched after him for a few moments before rounding on Starscream once again.

“You’re going to do it, right? A bet’s a bet.”

Starscream wanted to glare, but all he could manage was a defeated eye roll.

“Yes.”

A grin split across Knock Out’s face. It was the widest Starscream had ever seen on him.

“Perfect.”

Hundreds of Cybertronians flocked to hear their president speak. Still more would tune in to the live coverage. All eyes now turned to him.

That alone didn’t worry Starscream too much; he quite liked being the center of attention. What he found so frightening was that he’d be walking to the podium and delivering the speech whilst completely exposed.

“Oh for…” Knock Out dragged a hand down his face, “You’re not naked, Starscream!”

“I might as well be!” the president cried as he glared at Knock Out. They were at eye-level, which Starscream found incredibly disturbing. He should be leering down at him right now.

“They are only shoes,” Optimus said unhelpfully.

“Easy for you to say!” Starscream hissed, “You’re built like a…like a…a Prime!”

Optimus looked puzzled, “I am a Prime.”

Starscream threw his hands up in exasperation, “Oh, really?” he exclaimed with mock surprise, “I didn’t know that!”

The Prime seemed still more confused and Starscream resisted the urge to smack him, instead opting to continue his rant.

“They are not merely shoes! They are meant to serve as a statement of power!” He gestured down at his feet, “Nothing about these communicate power!”

“Oh, come on,” Knock Out huffed dismissively, “You’re the president. You already have all the power. The heels are just you being, well, you.”

Starscream snarled at him as he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. How did people walk like this? He felt so…flat, not to mention short. Every step felt like it jarred his whole body.

“I have faith in you,” Optimus broke in, drawing Starscream from his resentful thoughts, “With or without your customary footwear, I know you will earn the respect of our people. You have already proven yourself.”

Starscream knew he was correct. He was still inclined to feel bitter.

“You did this to me,” he growled at Knock Out, who smiled innocently back.

“Yes, I did. Now are you going to continue complaining or are you going to go be president?”

“It’s time, boss!” Starscream barely spared Rattrap a glance as his assistant called to him. Sighing in frustration, he spun around, snatching his speech from Rattrap’s wiry fingers.

“Let’s get this over with,” he muttered as he stomped onto the stage.

[cirilee]

With how clingy Knockout and Starscream are towards each other in your comics, I wouldn't be surprised if one day Breakdown would found them recharging being all cuddled up.

Ahhh!!

i have a headcanon for my humanformers that after Breakdown's death (u_u poor BD), well after that KO doesn't return to his and BD's shared room, and just stays overnight with Starscream every day, which goes unquestioned by both, it just happens.

at first its to get drunk and pass out on the floor (KO lament's BD's death, Starscream laments his general life circumstances). but after a while they manage to land on the sofa Starscream sleeps in.

they are too stupid to make it "official" by getting an actual bed that's big enough for two. the implications!

so Starscream just modifies the sofa they sleep on, to make it suitable for two (buying lots of pillows, and blankets "all decorative of course"), until it becomes their little hangout den where they also gossip.

(its what they're sitting in here:

which is why they got used to being near each other, even got a little clingy over the years, where they unconsciously touch one another, or seek out the other's touch when they're stressed.

but it's not like they're in love or anything !!

they just like to share essential information in a convenient place every day, all cuddled up in blankets with tea and crumpets and KO's lifestyle magazines all over the floor.