#they’re exes but not bitter abt it lol

[be-afraid-ofart]

Some of my characters in the Hades style :)

[aureatchi]

REV GO CRAZY i wanna hear abt ur stories plot hehe <33 (btw UGH UR SO LUCKY U HAVE WORLD LIT AS A CLASS LIKE HELLOOOOO !??!?!??!)

LMAO sorry this is so late, tht assignment drained me sm tht as soon as i was done, i never wanted to speak of it again (¬_¬)ﾉ but we got 100 on it so i feel a bit less bitter now…

tw mention suicide, noone acc does it, it was js framed to cover up a murder

the story centers around a group of uni students (all friends) who travelled to egypt during their summer break !! it opens up w/ a shakespeare quote from antony and cleopatra (i’ll come back to this later; yes ofc i had to add shakespeare) & the beginning line is one of the main character’s journal entries, opening up to a tragedy tht js took place…one of the friends was found dead in his tent (they’re in the desert camping.) he was first found by his bsf who wanted to watch the sunrise w/ him tht morning along w/ two other things: a suicide note & a small knife. before finding the knife, the friends first thought he was bitten by a poisonous snake bcz it appeared there were snakebites on his neck, but he acc js “stabbed himself there twice”. so the police officer there declares he died by self-infliction, but immediately after, her walki-talki awakes, saying tht one of cleopatra the great’s artifacts was stolen from a museum. coincidentally, it was only ~an hour before the victim’s supposed death, & the students had visited tht museum earlier tht day too. so now obv, everyone believes there had to b something more.

basically it’s js a parallel between cleopatra & the murder LOL bcz what’s reverie w/out historical detail :’) so a few ex. cleopatra made a poisonous snake asp bite her & tht’s how the victim died (was murdered), and cleopatra was known to b very intelligent, cunning, and deceptive. spoiler alert the murderer is the main character writing the journal entry in the beginning, & i made it in a way where it was “unreliable narrator” LOL. so she represents cleopatra, murdered her friend bcz he caught her stealing the artifact, & she wanted the artifact bcz it supposedly had the coordinates to where she was buried & main character wanted to make tht discovery herself lol. the story ends in a very bsd azure messenger way LMAOO LIKE ACC, the victim’s bsf shoots her in grief & anger after her explanation and admitting, there’s a final shakespeare quote to tie it off, & yeah…

it’s super messy…LOL i promise i write sm better than this but yeah tht’s the summary !!

[gas-station-chai]

VS the World AU: Some notes on a few of Jack's exes that I had laying around

Benji:

Jack met Benji when he was in college and dating Jerry. Jerry had dragged him into this camping club/cult thing (he didn’t know it was an extension of the cult at the time) and brought him along for a “quick hike through the forest,” where Jack quickly got lost/separated from the group (it was a good thing, too. Jack thinks if he stayed with them, he might’ve been sacrificed or something).

Benji, who had been camping out in that forest for the past week, found him at the bottom of a cliff with a broken leg and quickly (begrudgingly) took him back to his spot to fix him up (meet cute idea: “Haha thanks for saving my life and shoving my broken bone back into my body. I’m sorry I thought you were a bear when you first showed up and threw a rock at your face”) 

They kept in touch after that. B kept visiting him in the hospital to check up on him, and Jack eventually broke things off with Jerry and used Benji as a rebound (which he’s a little salty about, but doesn’t take it to heart too badly. 

They probably broke up when Jack realized what an ass he was being to Benj for using him like that. Their relationship didn’t really change much throughout the entire thing tbh. Neither of them were very touchy/romantic/communicative with each other in the first place. True neutral relationship (in Jack's eyes, that is)

"I do really like the idea tho that Benji took it a lot more seriously than Jack was aware of. like Benji wasn't a super touchy feely or romantic person but he did really like jack, and he loved that jack was similar. he liked having someone he could protect and care for, and also someone who seemed to rely on him without being too needy.

and then things ended, and Jack made the right choice but Benji is still bitter." -Xavier

Rosa:

They’re way too cute together (both romantically and platonically). Probably met in high school, she helped him with Spanish classes and he helped her with literature classes, and they started dating from there <888 in the present whenever they talk/meet she still quizzes him on Spanish to see if he still remembers her lessons. He doesn’t, but he tries <8

There’s probably still romantic feelings there for each other but, Rosa’s the one who broke things off because of the whole “Dark God” thing (guardian angel type thing? Family religion? She’s still a conduit somehow for supernatural shit) to keep Jack safe. Jack was reluctant at first but for some reason Shhhhh really hates him so it didn’t take that much convincing for him to stay away from her

Rosa’s technically not even in the Evil Exes club, it’s just Shhhhh. She’s just there along for the ride lol

Tony’s a jealous loser abt their relationship (can he tell they still like each other or does he not like them being friends still?) and Rosa can see it. She’s really polite to him in front of Jack but she’s very clearly trying to hint to him, “Seriously? This guy?” with her eyes. Ofc Jack is immune to nonverbal communication and she knows that, but Tony doesn’t, so it only pisses him off more. (Xavier note: "the world needs more subtly petty/bitchy rosa and i am THRIVING HAHA")

Jack doesn’t help with the way he’s asking him not to hurt her too badly. “SHE’S ATTACKING ME WITH PLANTS, JACK. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE”

JACK JUST LIKE "HEY I'M ACTUALLY STILL FRIENDS WITH HER PLEASE BE NICE" "JACK I AM FIGHTING FOR MY FUCKING LIFE OUT HERE." (-X)

Jerry:

Jerry counts as Jack's 6th ex despite having met him before Benji due to the fact that they kept dating off and on again for a while (with Jerry being a rebound between a few exes)

Pre-cult Jerry had long hair and got it lopped off about a month after he joined the Mathmetists, so Jack associates his short hair with this fucked up, brainwashed version of his (ex)boyfriend. 

After the first few on-and-off breakups/getting back together's, Jerry realized this and started growing it out again. He stopped wearing the uniform around him, too; started dressing in his old clothes (the terrible fashion sense ones) whenever he hung out with jack. 

Ofc, Jack saw it as a sort of "recovery" and they started dating... again. Jerry keeps acting like the old him (funny, spontaneous, flirty), but sneaking in tidbits and quotes of their beliefs into normal conversations. Jack tries to ignore it.

Jerry's smarter than he looks, he knows what he’s doing here: He’s lowering Jack’s guard. But he can't help but get excited at the idea of Jack joining him in this important mission, so he ends up pouring too much cult-stuff onto Jack all at once. Jack realizes that Jerry’s still into the whole “destroying the world” thing and breaks it off with him again. The cycle repeats multiple times 😔 

Jerry might be hellbent on convincing Jack to end the world’s suffering with him, but he’s still a sweetheart. He’d never force him into this, that’s why he keeps trying to talk jack into it. (Jack has his number and every social media he has blocked, but Jerry somehow keeps reaching him through alts and new numbers)

[baddiedaddy7]

🤍☾✨𝑀𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑆𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑠✨☽🤍

Aries Moon🦖

stands up for friends. honest. can be mean/ungrateful to their moms though😒. fun. periods may cause these folks migraines/headaches. may also make them more grouchy. usually very social. may like quick food like tv dinners, ramen noodles, etc. or “sport” drinks like gatorade. may also like general fast food(mcdonald’s, wendy’s, etc). may react to things first with anger. not really good to depend on emotionally. probably the least emotional out of all the fire moons. confident. rude/inconsiderate. music tastes may be rock, music w/screaming or just loud in general, rap, music that gets you jumping around/dancing lol. bold, but also acts 3😭.

Taurus Moon🪵

eats their emotions away. distant. down to earth. laidback. hard headed for no reason🙄. during period should take showers/baths with all fancy stuff like bubbles and soaps lol. wants food more than usual. might prefer sweets over savory. when i think of this placement i think of dark wine, or just “sensual” food in general like strawberries. romantic food. eats slowly, and may stay full for awhile. probably likes rnb, jazz, or classical music. songs focused on romance. usually emotionally stable. mom may be stable and sensible, but distant or not too warm. kind.

Gemini Moon🦋

loves taking quizzes, and personality tests. overthinks more than usual on period, or thinks of the past more than usual. very agitated lol. flows aren’t consistent, one day it’s heavy, then it’s light lol. has a new crush every other day, unless you’re mysterious😏. our daily schedule is talk abt useless things/gossip, go on some type of technology, have a mood swing/mental breakdown, then be all happy again 2 minutes later. eats snacks through out the day. fast eater, or doesn’t stay full for too long. more than likely to have anxiety or fidget a lot. we love us some aqua, virgo, and sag moons🥰. intelligent. usually talented in some way. copes through humor. restless. never boring/very interesting. likes all types of music esp edm, 80s/90s music, pop, and rap. lots of rappers are gemini moons. the most emotional air moon. charming. versatile. forgets easily, cause there’s so much information in our heads.

Cancer Moon🦢

mood swings galore. defensive. great listeners. will write you a paragraph. always there for family and friends, and great ppl to go to when you’re sad. emotional beings, and overly sensitive. periods may make you want to just sleep and eat. nipples may get delicate, and stomach may get puffed up. may prefer home cooked meals, but may also go out every now then. likes music associated with how they are feeling at the moment, so may like a few genres of music, it just depends on their mood. playlists/specific artists for every feeling lol. loyal, and very reliable. romantic. warm, i love these ppl😭. most emotional water moon.

Leo Moon🦁

good vibess. very funny, and charming. warm, but can be shallow. may love to party. enthusiastic. wants to be catered to during period. over dramatic. either lives fancy food, or junk food lol. might like both. likes pop music. probably also likes soul or rnb. probably plays music on speakers/very loudly. guys here are annoying but in a charming way. can be bossy. may also have selfish tendencies. most emotional fire moon.

Virgo Moon🌱

notices all the little details. observant. freaks out over the littlest things. silly, sometimes. cries in private. reliable. straight up. very caring, and honestly this placement is underrated. when in a bad mood tho, can be nit picky/over critical. probably gets muscle aches during period. also more worrisome during period. usually eats healthy, like low calorie foods. fruits may be the only thing they eat as snacks. smoothie lovers. another placement that likes all/a lot of music genres. sweet, and always thinks of others. most emotional earth moon.

Libra Moon🌸

unbiased. very jealous when it comes to love. friendly. very shallow. usually loyal. indecisive. wants to be around S/O or friend during period. indulges in lavishness during period. may “balance out” how they eat, for example:if they eat something too sweet they’ll eat something savory to balance the taste lol. also likes sensual foods. rnb, sexual songs, pop, and songs focused on relationships and sex are probably your go to’s. diplomatic. makes either good lovers or shitty no in between😬 the least emotional air moon

Scorpio Moon🥀

lies abt the stupidest things. reliable. the petty/bitter ex/ex bsf😂. values privacy, and doesn’t trust easily. chill. can be funny. periods can be rather strong lol. more sensitive during this time. not rlly picky abt food, or zealous abt it. might like “dark” music. bands. sexual music, or taboo. probably likes eminem lol(hes hella explicit in some songs😭). these folks are intuitive, and can be charming in a mysterious way. assholes sometimes tho lol. the least emotional water moon

Sagittarius Moons🐸

shit talkers😂. funny. these ppl are just vibes. most likely smokes. honest. inconsiderate. probably wants to be left alone on their period. definitely can’t just stay in the house during their period tho(unless they’re binge watching tv & eating snacks lol). not rlly picky. probably likes foreign food more than anything. thai takeout, may eat at an indian place, etc. probably likes music in languages they don’t even understand/foreign music. also probably rlly likes rap and pop. crackhead energy, just like gem moons lol. unreliable, but always down to have a good time

Capricorn Moon🪨

standoffish. reliable. too serious. loyal. focused on work/school. cold. go getter. more negative, and sad when their on their periods. stresses out easily. may not really care much for food. eats a normal amount. may be picky w/food. likes their food natural. may like old school music. “boring” music like classical lmao, or just instrumentals. disciplined. the least emotional earth moon

Aquarius Moon🐳

very chill. zealous abt society. cares deeply abt friends, and may prefer them over family. likely to be an activists. may have quite a few online friends. actually can give good advice. can be aloof too tho lol. may sleep less during periods. unpredictable cycles. may like “weird” combinations of food, fries and ice cream, nutella and pickles lmao, etc. likes to try new foods. either loved or hates mainstream music. probably prefers disco or edm music lol. charming ppl tbh. open minded, but also erratic/all over the place.

Pisces Moon🐛

forgives rather easily lol. loving. the victim mentality does need to go tho💀. great listeners. creative in one way or the other. you’re out of energy when it’s that time. might have weird dreams on their periods lol. may love junk/unhealthy food. appetite increases OR decreases when anxious. loves seafood or maybe hates it lol. more than likely has a sweet tooth. likes all types of music, and probably has lots of playlists. intuitive. always thinks of others, but can be overly sensitive.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

I feel like harries project their anger that they have for Harry on to Louis lol and because they’re bitter ex larries

I never understand these asks. I stopped stanning Harry about a year ago & love coming to this page. I've sent in several asks myself & agree w probably a good 75% of the ones I read.

But I have to be honest. A lot of the harries I still follow, never talk about Louis. Actually, they don't talk about any of the 1d guys besides Harry. Maybe Niall occasionally. And the few people I follow that are ex larries - I still see them post things abt Louis. Maybe not as often as they do Harry, bust still. I never see anyone bash Louis. I don't understand what the point would be.

Is it possible that there are a few Louis stans here that just don't like Harry (and I get it) & that's where some of these asks are generated from?

One more thing - I've sent in several asks about Harry's dishonestly. I picked up on it years ago when no one would listen to me. But one thing I can say is, harries are pretty good at calling him out. I just saw a post with Harry saying he's pretty strict on tour & doesn't like to drink & then in the next frame he's taking a shot at his own concert. Everyone knows he is a liar. harries included.

If Harries know he’s a liar, why are they here freaking out about us discussing him taking the shot and his hypocrisy?

[midoriima]

Hi! Congrats on 150!! I’m here for a Tokyo revengers matchup >:)

To start off, my pronouns are she/her and though I’m pansexual, i lean a bit more towards guys.

As for personality, I’m a bit goal-oriented, because I have a fear of failure. I’m confident, to a point where sometimes it gets narcissistic (I’m out here thinking I’m the absolute shit. Unironically), but I usually only do that as a joke. I love humour and try my best to be funny and playful sometimes. Though im introverted and prefer to be around a few people of choice, I can handle crowds and I tend to be a bit loud/excited in certain social settings. People often mistake me for an extrovert. Im a bit studious, and I love to be right so I’ll always bullshit my way through arguments or debates just so I can win them. I’m also a little arrogant and my sense of empathy/sympathy is incredibly low. It’s hard for me to even befriend people who are sensitive because I’ll accidentally hurt them and then not understand why it would even hurt them. (A psychologist once told me that I could potentially break my lover if they were a sensitive person yikes).

As for appearance, I stand at about 5’6. Im pretty strong and it shows lol. Im a brunette with brown eyes (yes ik very unique). My hair is about shoulder-length and I usually don’t care for it much, so it’s not the smoothest you’d ever see. I don’t exactly put a lot of importance on the physical appearance other than watching my weight and a very minimal skin routine because I personally don’t see the use (I am indeed a lazy person in this aspect rip).

I don’t have many hobbies aside from the gym. It’s like my main sport and so I like it a lot. Other things I like are cats, spending time alone, disney movies and talking with my close friends. In another person, I like a nice sense of humour, a certain level of independency (clingy is ok tho. Clingy is GOOD tho if they’re independent), and someone who shares a few values or opinions with me. I also like someone who’s somewhat motivated and won’t simply sit around moping abt what they could have done but didn’t. That’s one of my pet-peeves. I kinda like my men to have their shit together to a certain degree.

In dislikes, ironically, I don’t like people who think they’re all that but can’t back that fact up. I also don’t like car guys. I don’t like guys who are dependent.

So I think that’s it!! Again, congrats on 150!! I’m looking forward to seeing you get 300 followers!!

MITSVYASWIFE: HI OMFG TYSM FOR JOINING MY EVENT???? also, we're soooo much alike it's crazy?? also, coming from an (ex??)omnisexual if you like all but have a preference, you could be omni but that's rly up to you :)) ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS 😭😭

I pair you up with...

i feel like you two would be like that pair that everyone didn't see happening at first but then people start saying things like, "stay with him forever" like that.

you and i are very alike so i can understand the "confident, to a point where it sometimes gets narcissistic" part. when i start acting like that, i start saying things like "ugh i'm so hot" or "i'm better than you guys" (as a joke, but half not if it's directed to guys LMAO) so if ever it's like that in your case, mitsuya would hype you up like crazzzyyyyy!!

you and mitsuya could be walking past a group of dumbass boys who think bringing down girls for male validation is cool but then you'll say something that's the opposite of what they said then start hyping yourself up and mitsuya would join in, then they'd walk away feeling bitter about it LMAO this is a constant scenario in my head-

anyways, aside from that, mitsuya definitely thinks you're cool for being able to hit the gym or even like it. i think he's okay with it but will definitely not go to the gym unless he's there solely for the treadmill. but seeing you doing your thing around the gym? maybe he should put more work in his workout and try to impress you 🤔

i also feel like mitsuya would be the type to like tall women but just doesn't want them to be taller than him?? LMAOO i'm pretty sure you're both the same height and i kind of think he'll see that as a competition and start getting serious about his height lengthening workout to grow at least 2 inches taller than you.

if you were to tell him, "i don't like car guys" he'd definitely agree with that?? like you're just chatting and all, then you'll being that up out of the blue and he'll exclaim an, "OHH!!! YEAH ME TOO?!"

i just feel like mitsuya understands you a ton??

anyways let's move on to other hcs 😁

dates. dates. dates. mitsuya will definitely see a whole day with you as a date and make it feel like it. first, early morning, going out on a stroll or a jog! next is breakfast at a cute cafe! for lunch will definitely be somewhere where you can do fun activities? from sports or to anywhere with board games. like a beach resto! or a place like this!

you could dine in there and i'm pretty sure there were board games there? anyways, after dining in, you'd play a little before doing something else! for dinner would be somewhere with a bonfire, especially in colder weather/seasons!

i also feel like mitsuya would be the type to spend the midnight with you as well. it could be driving around the city, talking, watching a movie, or photography that late. this causes his mum to smack his head for being out so late and worrying his sisters LMAOO

[abelromanov]

its me bri again i dnt kno my limits dnt lk at me bye. anywhomst this muse is very very new bt i have ? most of his background n personality figured out methinks so give this a Cheeky Like if u want 2 plot!!!

『BRENTON THWAITES ❙ CISMALE 』 ⟿ looks like ABEL ROMANOV is here for HIS SENIOR year as a PRE-MEDICINE student. HE is 24 years old & known to be ARDENT, CONSIDERATE, RIGID & AGGRESSIVE. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ bri. 22. est. she/they.

stats.

name: abel camille romanov.

age: twenty four.

gender identity: cis-male.

pronouns: he/him.

sexuality: bisexual.

birthday: december 3rd.

star sign: sagittarius.

myer-briggs: estj.

year of study: senior.

major: pre-medicine.

occupation: n/a.

place of birth: stratford, connecticut.

religion: catholic.

about.

second child 2 senator vaughn and philanthropist adelaide, younger brother of cain!! the romanov’s r quite well known fr their All American n Lavish lifestyle which can b read all abt HERE in cain’s intro yeehaw! (im lazy)

growing up abel worshiped cain he was the cool older brother who cld do it all n still maintain the lifestyle he wanted/their parents expected n abel wanted nothing more than to follow in his footsteps

he tried his best to keep up, did everything cain did, but his grades were always just a bit lower, or his form was always just a bit off, he always felt second fiddle, like it was his role in life as the second child

abel ignored it the best he could for most of his life but he started to notice a different side of cain that he didn’t show their family and a side that :/ abel didn’t like or know at all that was quite vile and this was when some resentment started to form bc their parents thought of cain as their Golden Child n didnt see what was going on behind the scenes whereas abel tried his best to be genuinely good if he could help it

by the time he got to radcliffe, things were starting to look up a bit, his already rly gd grades were managing to improve, he was on a bunch of teams, and the coach was saying it was looking good for him to become captain of the soccer team by his sophomore year

bt bc i hate my muses obviously this was not going to happen?

though things were looking up abel was still subconsciously trying to impress his family, his siblings, the people around him, wearing himself out until he was stretched far too thin, and he paid for it with one wrong move during a soccer game that had his knee popping out of place and shattering

it was really really really bad, he was in a cast for a few months bc it needed several surgeries, obviously sports were permanently out of his future, he still walks with a limp in his right leg to this day

this sent abel into a really bad depressive spiral sighs that he didn’t really talk to anyone about cause he’d trained himself at that point to just keep things to himself and never reveal his emotions so that no one could catch him vulnerable or have an upper hand on him

however this was the final nudge he needed to really become his Own Person after realizing it’d gone too far and he’d gotten too bad (on medication now to regulate when he gets out of control/starts to get bad again bc it does happen from time to time)

told his parents fk ur money! n moved out of perkins so that he could become an RA in moris, started joining different teams tht he thought wld b more fun (radio, chess, etc.), starting to distance himself from his siblings a lot too

this was when he rly started to loosen up a lot too he was . a very Boring Lame man before frankly bt got into the world of Parties n made way more friends than he ever did trying to uphold the family image

is still . quite stiff around the edges to this day tho, thinks everything through and has like daily planners he writes down his entire days in to the Second old habits die hard its jst how he functions at this point

had another rly rly bad depressive episode when cain went missing bt like everything he does? he internalized it baybee!

when cain came back tho their parents encouraged him to move into moris so abel cld keep an eye on him n it made abel :/ another reason fr resentment in his eyes (he still loves his brother hes jst . bad at vocalizing how he feels so it makes him bitter)

has been with several ppl bc hes kinda desperate fr approval/fr ppl to need him so hes been quite a good bf in the past bt his incapability to properly open up has put a real Damper on things

likes to think hes in perfect control of his emotions bt explodes a lot bc hes bottled things up fr years

thts all . i can think of now ok bye<3

connections.

exes???? he wld have a Few methinks

fwb’s/past hookups/ur regular old Spice

he’s never been with a guy before bt as u can see in his stats he Is bi as i cannot play Straights so mayhaps someone who Opens His Eyes

ppl he has a crush on............. bt wld never say anything abt it . in his current Frivolously Unemotionally Emotional state

students in moris tht drive him fkin insane or on the other hand students tht he has a sibling like relationship with n is rly protective over etc.

family friends/ppl he grew up with?? or ppl who knew him before he separated himself from his family a bit n knew him as a diff guy n is like ‘omg wtf lol’ now

obvs . some friends Bleathe

enemies?? ppl who he got annoyed with n jst lost it on bc it was a wrong place wrong time Situation.

thts all i can think of rn very basic bt teehee

[bellamysgriffin]

dana watches lucifer (2x11)

yo guys i’m back and i’m vvv happy to be liveblogging again

it feels so weird to be watching without my dad guys he’s driving my sister to oklahoma but usually we watch together

anyway

this clip of chloe saying her speech at the courtroom on the previously on - LIKE I NEED REMINDING 

it’s making me emotional and the ep hasn’t even started yet

pls tell me they kiss i want them to so badly 

my cat is strangling me with her love rn and i’m.... trying to type

“i hate ketchup” that’s so romantic

ARE YOU KIDDING I HATE MYSELF THEY WERE SO CLOSE

“i’m glad she showed up she kept me from making a big mistake” I’M SUING FOX AND THE WRITERS WHAT THE HELL

trixie is back i missed her

“they’re a wonderfully scrumptious start to your day”

ok now i’m imagining maze and trixie grocery shopping

trixie Knows and ships deckerstar

trixie KNOWS

MAZE I MISSED YOU SO MUCH MY FAVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

i missed that whole scene by squealing abt maze lol 

maze craves validation bc she wanted chloe to be happy

aw chloe maze tried so hard don’t tell her that

it’s ok chloe i forgive you

CHARLOTTE no 

i’m already mad at her

my tv is glitching so y’all better provide some quality gifs

“it’s about chloe” and then instantly he turns into Protective Boyfriend™

ok charlotte ships deckerstar too and she’s back on the good list

she was nvr really off it i have a weakness for lucifer women

“you don’t have to prove anything to me” that was something very nice said very harshly

“not in a fun way” 

“not the slut police and i mean you not her” DAMN I LOVE CHLOE

hmmm that was a good plan while it lasted but

“jana! always with the tragic timing”

oh my god is lucifer a murder suspect again

“maybe she’d still be alive” and already he’s feeling guilty jesus i just want him to be h a p p y

also where is ella i want her on my screen right now

“ditch the loser from lux. that’s terrible, she was seeing someone else from lux?

maze is proud of herself dan leave her alone

my cat is back and ready to prevent the typing

danikeen - is that their brotp name?

ppl need to stop yelling at maze right now ok

i like his white suit a lot

her fun is being with her daughter aww

ok lucifer is actively pursuing a relationship and i - i’m emotional

“she’s spoken for” “haha no i’m not”

this guy is a dog and i hate him

ok i need linda and ella and amenadiel to cleanse my soul from that dick

“you two are a lot alike” how DARE YOU

ANOTHER murder??? things are heating up and i like it

“pretty sure you didn’t sleep with this guy” “actually ur wrong” OH MY GOD IT’S CHRISTMAS

“you’ll need a much bigger notepad”

this parade of lovely women with the song hot pants in the background is my aesthetic

“bit of a dry spell these last few months” ik this is a joke .... but that’s probably bc that’s when he met chloe js

dan don’t you dare things are complicated enough

“the best night of my life” in a bunch of different inflections is possibly the best scene in this show to date

also i love how they included a guy

and his explanations to dan omg this is hilarious

chloe is SO JEALOUS

OH MY GOD I’M SCREAMING AND CRYING 

NOT OUT LOUD BUT JUST TRUST ME

ok now lucifer is sad so um.... cue character growth?

oh good more charlotte shipping deckerstar i love it

it’s still so weird that chloe thinks charlotte is lucifers ex

“last thing i need is a step-dan” “you say some really weird things man” i love their dynamic

LINDA

LINDA

LINDA

OK I’M GOOD BACK TO COMMENTARY

LINDA

SORRY 

also linda and maze in the same scene????. christmas confirmed.

“you want me to stab this friend of yours” ok i love how maze is oblivious but also she’s Ready to Fight for linda and i’m just..... wow that’s beautiful

“that’s human” “i’m a demon” “i actually think ur more human than a lot of ppl i know” what kinda romantic bs is this??? i love it

“ur saying i’m awesome” “i’m saying that u need to say ur awesome” 

“yes ur awesome” “hell yeah i am” I LOVE MAZE SO MUCH I’M DEAD

“i can describe her aura” it’s me

“i told you someone cared” i’m laughing lucifer is the best 

god i missed this show

i’m gonna save this in my drafts before my computer freezes and erases the whole post again

ok i’m back

OFC CHLOE IS ON THE WALL

ok suki is who i would be if i ever met him i would just scream and shut the door oh my god

“gay best friend for now” i’m laughing

suki is hot it’s true

WHERE IS ELLA THOUGH

“do not leave town” “and abandon lucifer?” god me

AMENADIEL IS BACK

oh i forgot he’s being rude to lucifer

i forgot charlotte was still bad oh myg od

i’m a fake fan i’m sry guys

i still love them both though

if ever there was a time for ella to show up it would be now just saying

ok and she’s not there

lucifer is such a doofus i’m laughing so hard chloe is so scared

i just fast forwarded and there’s like three clones of a guy petting a robot dog and i just -

“i wanna build a cat sanctuary” god is this me

“no one wants to hear about your feline meet cute” that’s wrong i would sell my left kidney to hear about his cat

“i’m in” i love maze i just do i just i could watch her eat bread for three hours

“no. because i’m awesome” I LOVE HOW LINDA SUPPORTED MAZE SO MUCH THAT SHE REALLY CHANGED MAZE’S ATTITUDE I LOVE STRONG FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS

“because self worth comes from within bitches” DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

my cat is back and obscuring my vision hang on a sec

ik that as you read this ur not waiting but i just want you to know that i had to wait for my cat to stop knocking my laptop over

her name is sylvester mcmonkey mcbean anyway

can deckerstar kiss already 

amenadiel :’)

i kinda just want their pure brotherly love i don’t like the conspiring behind lucifer’s back

my cat and i compromised

ok i dig this jazzy piano music but for a sec i thought it was gonna be heart and soul and i was gonna die that’s my favorite deckerstar scene ever

maze looks so hot w o w

“if we were strangers you’d be hitting on me” maze is so smart dan you can learn from her

i do like him better now 

oh my god i’m laughing so hard

“self worth comes from within dan” i love maze so much she’s trying so hard to help

i’m gonna scream

oh my g o d i love her so much i’m laughing

“you and me? not happening” he looks so hurt i am so sad chloe let him IN

MAZE IS SO HOT WHEN SHE’S MURDERING

aw poor jim

OH MY GOD WE’RE ONE EPISODE IN AND ALREADY LUCIFER HAS A GUN TO HIS HEAD CAN’T WE JUST RELAX FOR A SECOND AND LET HIM BE HAPPY GOD

already chloe is shook and scared bc she loves him so much

now lucifer is intrigued hm and so am i

LUCIFER STANDING UP FOR WOMEN IS MY AESTHETIC I LOVE THESE LITTLE MOMENTS

oh now he’s all “hey man we can work something out” 

AW LUCIFER THINKS HE’S A GOOD PERSON

oh 

i should have seen where that was going

I JUST WANTED LUCIFER TO LOVE HIMSELF THAT’S ALL I WANTED

i guess we’re not there yet

that was badass tho

i was just thinking that we must have missed something about the package

who are these people

OH NO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO CHLOE IN THE TRAILER I’M SCREAMING

were we supposed to recognize those things

lucifer is having an ocean contemplation shot is this the bachelor orr

“really” she says not disappointed at all 

HONESTLY I’M BITTER RIGHT NOW I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA KEEP GIVING US SLOW BURN BUT LIKE AW

one step forward two steps back i guess

“you deserve someone worthy of you and that’s not me” I’M CRYING THAT’S NOT TRUE BB

“that’s not what i’m saying” “i know that’s what i’m saying” WHY DOES HE LOVE TO SUFFER WHAT THE HELL I’M SAD

LUCIFER THERE IS NO ONE BETTER THAN YOU

oh my god he’s just listing why he loves her

her middle name is jane?? this is cute

“ur special and i’m.... i’m not worth it” OH GOD YES YOU ARE

OBH MNYUIAHGREJKL;

AKJSDLFPOJIA UW0AOW J

WHAT OAIEKLW;’

IJJAIOWEFJO9

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

I’M TAKING A PIC AND PUTTING IT ONAERF[

MY WALL I WAS GONNA SAY AND THEN THEY KISSED AGAIN

OWEFIAJKML;

I’M SCREAMING AND HYPERVENTILATING WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING I’VE EVER SEEN 

IT WAS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL PECK AND THEN SHE LEANS IN AGAIN AND CUT TO TRAILER AND I JUST

ASJFDLKj[wuhiol;nkl

it really is christmas guys :’)

i don’t know what to say i love thioajefkls;d’

YES WE JSUT GOT A DECKERSTAR KISS AND THEN WE GOT LIKE FIVE MORE IN THE TRAILER IT’S CHIRAMTMIOAL;’

i love you guys i love this show i’m signing off and watching the bachelor which is never going to be this romantic :’)