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northernjulian · 8 years ago

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"Lucidity Roses"

LUCIDITY ROSES ルシディ・ローゼズ

Dedicated to:

This poem, project, and visual representation of mental growth & beauty is dedicated to someone I miss dearly and think about everyday. My best friend Jaedin A. She helped me get through everything. From my first heartbreak, to my first day of suicide watch in the hospital. She was there. From crying over being abused in a relationship to crying over being locked in a hospital room. She was there. As I write this dedication with tears falling down my face like that day let it be known that I would not be here today. Mentally, and physically if it weren’t for this person. It’s nothing simple like I got an injury and she stopped the bleeding therefore she “saved my life” shit. It’s more like I couldn’t find my own injury but she stopped it from hurting by just being there with me. No matter the situation. Whether it was when I was 1,500+ miles away or just inches away she helped me push through everything that would’ve broken me. Thank you so much for existing in my era. Xox

This piece is heavily inspired by Jenny Holzers ‘Truisms’ poem. Her diverse yet obvious stanzas created beauty by the things we see and hear everyday. Basic knowledge formed together to create a intricate puzzle like piece that allows the mind to gain an insightful view. Thank you Jenny. Alongside being dedicated to my best friend Jaedin it is dedicated to those who did me wrong. Sorry to kill your vibes but no one can bring me down no matter how long they try. With all love and no hate <3 -Julian

WARNING

This is art. This is real. This is raw. I speak my mind and express everything I see and understand. This ain’t some politics-free Facebook post. Not wanting to argument with family members shit. I’ve been blocked by family members for the things I’ve said. My aunt blocked me after posting pro-black lives matter messages on my Facebook. Apparently not wanting to see my half blood brother on the news is too offensive. Wanting justice for innocent people was “too much”. Putting bad cops in the system they avoid was “too excessive”. If you can’t respect my existence or my families and friends then fuck you. This country has been hypocritical since the day it was founded, but overtime new laws and such have been put into the system yet they still treat us like the cameras ain’t recording, like the wounds ain’t showing, like the pain ain’t growing. So realize that this piece isn’t some school assembly script. This is raw and uncut like Trumps Twitter minus the fact that I’m not a damn idiot. Also while reading this piece you have to be in touch with the other side. By that I mean you have to be relaxed and at peace. Plug in headphones, white noise machine, open the window, do what you gotta do to be ready to see instead of just read. It’s like a deep song with curse words in it. You can’t listen for the words, you have to listen for the meaning. If Van Gogh painted Starry Night in an art class no one would fully appreciate it for the way it was meant to be. Art is three dimensional and up. It can be seen from many sides. Although all of them can be justified, when the artist explains what his two dimensional view of the piece is you gotta just sit back in amazement. The whole time I was writing this I had that mindset. This my canvas mindset. Knowing that each stroke on the white surface has to be better than the last. So here is my piece. My canvas. I hope you enjoy and understand.

Here is “Lucidity Roses”

— america is the biggest terrorist threat not isis all lives matter movement is a fictional movement anatomy is important for love astrology isn’t a science arian advantages are my disadvantages america escaped tyrannical governments only to become one abortion isn’t murder amendments have been broken atheists are people not afraid of death aberrant people are the future able bodied people are the most lazy abolish our current government abrasive people are common absolutism is always a bad idea abstemious people are annoying absorption of countries kills cultures acquaintance is a rude way of saying relationship adeptness is underrated altruism is key for humanity apathy controls our motivations astronomy is observable and beautiful amassing is dangerous anonymity people keep the truth alive aflame is the best way to describe America right now aptitude lovers are real aridity is rising

beautiful mornings happen everyday borders don’t stop shit branding runs capitalism blue lives matter is equal to all lives matters blue people don’t exist bernie should’ve won bravery comes in many forms bruce becoming caitlin was important for this generation baby boomers blame everything on anyone younger bombs are never precise boys don’t cry, men do tho bitches aren’t women bad bitch isn’t a compliment babies show us life in it’s pure form baptism doesn’t save every child of god baptism didn’t keep me holy bottles ease the pain boredom is a first world problem bacteria is everywhere germaphobes being called something besides your name is great blonde was album of the year black lives matter buying expensive things have repercussions baffling is trumps best and only skill burning the flag doesn’t help anything basketball is the best sport

crying in the rain feels good creativity is the key to a new world conspiracy theories aren’t reality cherry blossoms are natures physical form of love condolences are appreciated cancer can be stopped censorship stops art ceasefires never truly cease fire cultures are not to be mocked colors all have meaning codes control our superficial social media currently waiting for closure classical mythologies were once religions civilizations never disappear fully cobain was murdered ceasar once ruled the world callisto needs to be explored carbon dioxide emissions are real cherokee are the toughest natives christmas is definitely the most wonderful time chickenpox in america wasn’t an accident cold war was the scariest war columbus didn’t find shit captain avery was a genius camo clothes are never out of fashion crucifixion is over the top

dark nights only make brighter days death penalty is overpriced depression is real denying science and facts gave us trump don’t argue with science devil dances to inner city anthems death lurking in my thoughts lately da vinci was the closest thing to perfection drake runs our generation dogs are impossible to hate divinity is possible in our form diamonds are perfection doomsayers don’t enjoy their life dormant volcanoes are relatable dancing is art dinosaurs exist despite being held back we succeeded desperate people are the most sick different place this planet is nowadays dying is overrated dust shows authenticity dyed my hair for this rebirth defense is a form of offense dreams mean something doing thangs for myself deities exist in us

“every night fucks everyday up” emptiness is a curse everyone is beautiful in their own way exercise is a reliable stress reliever eagles are sacred earth deserves better easter island disappeared electromagnetism control our sense of direction extinct species show how precious life is endorphins are off in my mind epicenter disasters happen in our minds too egyptians had the smarts of unearthly creatures einstein got sad over things he didn’t understand too errors in our ways are to be fixed not ignored effective ways to love vary on the person elsewhere exist on our minds equality is bullshitted in our world eventually everything falls endings are emotionally exhausting efforts mean everything egos are killed by assholes education isn’t always important for a better world eternal life happens when you love life ethnic cleansing still happens today ethics are not negotiable eyes perceive more than the physical

fuck trump by the way fires burn inside flowers are unreal football is a life damaging sport “faults break into pieces” freezing points are breaking points futura is a great font fonts are key pieces for expression focusing isn’t something gained through pills fallacies run our political system futuristic ideas were once sci-fi ideas finding love is very important fire was once considered magic freedom isn’t real in america fresh fruits are being created as if they were artificial for the last time the earth isn’t flat fascism exist in our america fuel exist in many forms feminism is needed for this generation fake love is true evil false prophets are average humans fables are more than just cute fake news doesn’t exist only inaccurate news faithfulness isn’t difficult when you aren’t an asshole fanatics are just passionate, not crazy feedback is appreciated

guys can be pretty too generalization is the key to all problems global warming is real great barrier reef is almost gone gothic art is the realist art gambling is the currency form of lust geniuses exist in many fields generosity can go a long way geometry is the simplest form of math ghost exist giggles are always nice glaciers are separating glaring is rude girls glisten glitter beauty is magical goddesses are women goals should always be pursued go all out with anything you get some time for yourself gain respect towards those who hurt from things you can’t see great wall didn’t stop the mongols good people exist gasoline isn’t worth killing people over goodnight messages mean a lot good morning messages mean more gestures mean more than words

hells exist beyond our minds health care should always be free heavens exist in our minds hesitation kills motivation highly favorable people were once underrated homophobia isn’t real, being an asshole is homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality hogs represent rich people houses aren’t homes unless they’re made into one home is where the love is highlights of life are everything without a price high beams on a dark road how do some people live with themselves? hidden in plain sight things are extraordinary hello starts every conversation height is superficial hierarchy only worked for the pharaohs hire the unfavored heels shouldn’t be a beauty standard heavens gate is no different from christianity heavens gate is a religion hashtag save our girls happiness has me believing i made heaven harassment is cruel to humanity hardly anything is real anymore help is never too far away

i feel like pablo making my own art i’m just human isis doesn’t represent islam imperialism is the reason rome fell imperialism is the reason we shall fall immigrants made america i’m sad as shit when i’m alone i can also be happy as shit when i’m alone i see race i just don’t care about it internet is overrated and superficial inferior things are not always the problem invasion of foreign countries is never reasonable ice cream is good for the soul ignorance isn’t a bliss illogical facts are “alternative facts” illumination of the mind is inspiring imagination is the only drug we need islam has no relation to terrorism impossible is only a word infuriating people lead to a dumber generation infallible beliefs are close minded inhabiting foreign lands ruined cultures informing is not insulting innovation is suppressed in our world instincts are always right intelligence is uncommon

jim jones was the furthest thing from the messiah jesus was brown jean-michel basquait was our van gogh just kidding isn’t an excuse for your assholeness jealousy ruins more relationships than actual issues jewels aren’t worth the killing judges have sympathy journalists can be bias joy is a great feeling justice is failing in america judging others is natural jungles need protection jades are the perfect shade of green jewelry is a classism statement journey around the world if you can jump into new things don’t be scared jokes keep the sadness at bay jumble things are sometimes more beautiful than neat things jaunts are good for you jigsaws relate to our lives justifying racism is impossible judaism is the most neglected religion join the cause jackson was killed by a doctor jerichos’ horn is heard all around world just wondering if i’ll make it in life

keep thinking positive things and they will happen killing for peace is a hypocritical phenomenon kings never end happily ever after kind people are the most beautiful keep your family close knowing isn’t always understanding kkk is a terrorist organization kids bring the family together kanye is a smart man keep yourself your number one priority kissing is just as addictive as drugs kahlo is the best artist ever karma will get you kaitlin lives forever keep the bullshit away kaleidoscopes sparked my creativity kd betrayed his team keep it real keep the faith kepler telescope watches the heavens kepler-452b is our last resort kgb tactics are still in use kick back and get dreamin killing the innocent happens too often killing by accident happens too kidnapping is the worst crime against humanity

loving and sex are two different things legends never live life is a clusterfuck love doesn’t have a gender loneliness craves company lying is an insult to ones morality les brown motivates me lucidity roses is my canvas lucidity roses is life lust for life losing is better than not trying living shouldn’t be bordered by rules lying is an insult to yourself leaving incompetent people isn’t wrong or bad loving those who others don’t is perfect let go every once and awhile laws shouldn’t be bribed lawyers shouldn’t defend sick people lurking gets us hurt lies formed history last night stories are the best lately i’ve been feeling sad lyrics always have deeper meanings last doesn’t always mean something bad lines divide us like paper layoffs are necessary for a new world

majorities blame their problems on minorities mind over matter meditation is a mental workout mental injuries are worse than physical ones make america united again make your dreams a reality men don’t understand motherhood motherhood is a connection like no other “my eyes had a gleam once” my intentions are always good, my actions aren’t always tho meddling in others relationships is disrespectful mexico is a beautiful country manipulated by our politicians managing friendships is tiring morgues show us life after death minerals are running low mindsets vary on time sets marrying just to cheat is unacceptable and wrong mothers are responsible for our nurture vs nature thinking missing people who hurt you is ass-backwards “might've” has no meaning in the present masculinization insults the free spirits makaveli escaped to cuba magna carta is the way of the people mask show more than the person behind it medications should be free mcdonalds runs america

nothing happens for a reason nights with the person you love is better than anything nothing is as intimate as love never have i or will i say “president trump” narcissism got me through my depression nihilism is the truest religion ‘no more parties in la’ nobody pray for me! no means no never think about the past names always deserve a deeper meaning narrow minded people are ruining our country nikes is perfect natural beauty is the perfect form of art news stations are almost always biased nirvana is close by.. nagging gets you nowhere nowadays people aren’t living in the now newcomers deserve respect newcomers deserve recognition nazism is still active in america north is the main direction never love someone you wouldn’t wanna wake up with narcotics control the banks nasa deserves better never judge something you don’t understand

our system is corroded ousting exposes jealousy outfits describe our personalities overnight love is the best ocean needs protection oceans display vibes omitting happiness is brighter than any rays omega is more dominant than alpha order is tyrannical orgasms vary oracles saw illusions odd problems can become the most dangerous ones mental state is a number one priority oak is the most refreshing wood obligate yourself to everything you love oblivion exist only if you open the portal to it oblivious people are the loudest only illegal humans are those who manipulate the public our greatest internal struggle is wanting what we give old white people should have no say on racial issues obliterating countries doesn’t solve problems obnoxious people are common occasional personal days are necessary off days are the worst days offer yourself to the ones you love old times are gone, forget them

past civilizations were more advanced than current ones peoples temple was a suicide group political corruption runs our system police gotta stop killing us pro-black isn’t anti-white philosophies vary on mindsets philosophers were once seen as irrelevant picassos’ rose period is my life season political parties are for small minded people politics separated my family permafrost love is gonna be a visual perfect people only exist when you become in love with someone pesticides are just as bad for humans than bugs push through the tough shit pulling someone closer is a form of intimacy purple is a sexual color purest forms of intimacy are decided by lovers please love someone before you leave this planet peaceful protest are always manipulated by fox news party whenever you can for however long you can pretty isn’t a girl only word panama was split for financial reasons peaks are the top of our lives pastor keeps the followers with hope paparazzi got no respect please don’t stop living

quit slut shaming sexually active people quit calling every female a bitch quality over quantity all the time questions without answers are possible quiet people are a blessing quotes were unappreciated at their time qualm thoughts are stressful quantum mechanics are the future qualified people can still be stupid queens don’t need kings quickly doing things is sloppy quicksand is the physical metaphor of depression quilts are comfortable canvases quixotic love is the best love quizzing us on things we don’t know is irrational quotation marks aren’t needed for the words you say quran isn’t evil quran is equal to the beautiful quarantining sad people is cruel quarantined orcas need to be freed #fuckseaworld quite a few good things in life we don’t appreciate quitting is never the answer quit fucking with people who don’t care for you queer isn’t an insult question everything you don’t understand quasars represent underdogs

reverse racism isn’t real respect your elders those who respect you roses show more beauty than we can comprehend “respect existence or expect resistance” rest in peace selena respect for women shouldn’t be gained through knowing one remember the good days every chance you get real friends make time for you release week was dope reality is distorted raw art is the truth we need ranting proves you can think random compliments are the best compliments reading puts you in another world reducing stress is impossible in our world refusing facts isn’t always because ignorance remember that you matter runaway with the person you love runaway is also a perfect song, thanx kanye roses are red roses aren’t dead riding with your friends is peaceful reintroducing people is lovely radiation levels are unnatural radical ideas are barbaric rapist don’t deserve a casket

“special shoutout to the icon dynasty slip and slide records” science is the forerunner of every subject self control is a uncommon blessing support planned parenthood support stem cell research sexism is at an all time high sadness has me believing i belong in a sanitarium sexual fantasies are normal scientist don’t lie, politicians do stop being scared secrets are esoteric seducing has to be wanted school makes me feel stupid sadness dissipates when we begin to live smoking kills shea made me sad shan made me happy strong people exist satanist aren’t bad people say no to *bad* drugs seeing old friends is refreshing sad and mad emotions ruin lives safe sex is rare saints were once sinners sinners were once saints see what i’m saying?

tranquility is achieved through our minds the meaning of life is happiness thank you for the inspiration frank o. tupac is still alive for me the world is ours taste of lips is a drug the only thing we need is love tattoos tell stories that words can’t “to die without leaving a corpse..” thank the universe or your deity everyday “torture is barbaric” the day is as only as bright as you make it tired is a real excuse for not doing things trading your soul for something always ends bad trendsetters aren’t original treat everyone you meet with respect trying to educate the ignorant is pointless tattoos at a young age show defiance tattoos don’t look gross when you get older tips are small but meaningful today is the beginning of a new life. timid people are usually the brightest tacky clothes are fun tell people how special they are tell your deepest secrets to no one take it easy

uncles’ are usually pieces of shit..lookin at you lencho using someone for sex is inhumane ultimately what defines us is our actions, not words u is the saddest song ever umbrellas are cliché understanding someone helps them get better unfortunately we can’t stop time under pressure we can sprout unite the world together again unlikely doesn’t mean impossible unless you’re dead nothing can stop you unusual organisms see us as unusual too urges can be handled uplift everyones spirits unnamed sources are the realist sources untruth the lies using the system to beat it is smart unnecessary comments don’t have to be necessary upload your experiences update your friends as much as possible urgent care is a sad place universe is in us us is nice to say uttering words isn’t always the best idea urban legends are fun to read about until we stop fighting we’ll never start loving

violins are the most beautiful instrument vibrant things give me happiness videotapes are ancient versatile mindsets are necessary very important people are not strangers with money vikings found america vivid dreams are future scenes vaccines don’t cause autism voice your opinion no matter where you live volume never seems loud enough version one is draft like vintage art is overrated verbal abuse is the worst versions show both sides view life differently vote based off personality not political party valleys are scary versace is godlike voices are deceiving vaults are examples of paranoia vice versa situations are just normal situations very good people are always unheard of veterans shouldn’t be veterans venture into the wild visit family as much as you can versus the world

would trump let jesus in our country? women deserve better “wishing things away is not effective” quote jenny we face the inner struggle of the penitent and impenitent thief war on drugs is a waste of time and money wes lang is the descendant of basquait women can hurt men too whiners can’t be choosers winning is just as scary as losing wearing all black is beautiful wanting what you can’t have is cruel would you like you? wishing for the best holds back the best watching people be themselves is interesting why do they keep killing us? when’s tranquility gonna reach us welcome new people like family weddings are a form of art why questions will never be answered why are we here? why do we battle things we can’t see? why do good things happen to bad people? why do bad things happen to good people? why is there a why if it can’t be answered? willpower is yours winning is the only option

xenophobia is wrong not matter how trump puts it xenophile is a lover for high class things xerophytic people are the strong yet depressed humans xanax are for those sad people xeriscape was created for another dustbowl xerothermic weather isn’t normal xenobiotic compounds are even antihuman xerophile organisms are relatable xenogeny is the creation and start of life xat have spiritual energies xenocide is happening to our own species xenoepist think you’re a xenoepist xenomorphs exist xeronisus happens when you don’t love that person xickovit of this country xox means a lot to me x’ing out the bad people like tic-tac-toe xanthippe was the opposite of socrates xenial countries are declining xenocracy founded america xenophobia is runs our country right now xenophobic is like homophobic, so it’s not real xanax are bad for you xenophiles need to know their boundaries x marks the spot xoxo

you don’t have to be in love to make love yelling should only be for sports events years pass like the seasons year-round happiness is important yikes at our country yearbooks shouldn’t be the only time we appreciate each other yearning is a sin but an understandable one yearlong relationships are rare yellow is the most vibrant color y chromosome organisms have no right over double x organisms y chromosome doesn’t excuse being disrespectful yellowstone is gonna explode soon yes is all you need to hear for consent ying yang symbol is life in simple terms yogism is the purest philosophy you can’t expect the unexpected your only priority is you you’ll never know what someone else is going through you are loved you are noticed you are always on someones mind you deserve better you can succeed you can inspire you will be happy you are you

zenith empires eventually fell zero was created by the mayans zodiac signs are bullshit zygotes show us how related we are zeal mindsets are important for our generation zelo was nikes brother zeal mindsets can be dangerous zero first world problems are important zuckerberg made billions off our generation zirconia isn’t diamond zero hour is the best time of the day zeta is an unearthly letter zev (zero emission vehicles) were the future zigzagging down a dark road zika needs to be defeated. zionism fucked over jerusalem zodiac killer was found zoos’ need to be more natural zebra stripes are mesmerizing zealous juries can free the criminals zaddy turns no one on zoning people out is risky zombies is who our voting system was built for zoetropes still amaze me zero stars show in the daytime zero people can talk shit about me now —

Everything in this project has meaning. Everything. I would stay up til the early hours of the morning just thinking and trying to tell my story while correlating it with symbols and clues. Notice how there is every letter in the alphabet on here twenty six times? That was a tribute to Holzers style she had on “Truisms”. Notice how every letter is lowercased? Also a tribute to Holzer. The cover art, hand drawn by the way, the cover is a skull with three roses coming out of it. Those three roses represent the three loves of my life. From best to worst going left to right. The words above them show what they gave and introduced me to. Love, lust, and lorn. All of these things are apart of life. The three emotions we all are controlled by in life. The three things that can break us from ourselves. That’s why the skull is there. After all those things I had to endure I felt nothing but dead inside. On the outside it was visible too. From the days my mother would ask me what’s wrong to the days I would break down at school. It was visible. I seemed dead on the inside. They say nothing is as dry as the bone, but I found a way to push through. My rebirth allowed me to show the world I am still here. After my battles with love a rose grew, after my battles with lust a rose grew, and even after being beat down and almost held away from the light that helped me grow, a rose grew from lorn. I am still recovering from these three things. The roses vary in stages because of this. Lorn was the most impactful on me hence why the rose is the smallest of the three. It is taking time to heal from these things, but I am reborn. Three things that have claimed my last three years. From the day after middle school ended where I was in my room all day crying because I never took a chance at shit to the first day of suicide watch. These are my past lessons. This is my life. Thank you all for allowing me to fully expose this. I hope that this can inspire you to become the best you. I hope this can inspire you that no matter how crazy, lonely, and heartbroken you feel you’re never alone on this crazy ride we call life. Thank you very much. Xoxo -Julian

P.S – Three is my lucky number

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