#they’d listen to it. they’d like it so mych

[currently-tired]

Lights Out by msi.

Edward Hyde.

god bless.

[softzhongli]

summary: a closer look at the most exclusive group chat in all teyvat. we have two oblivious idiots in love, two horny bastards afraid of their feelings, a grumpy cat and his sunshine boyfriend and one very single and tired girl... among many many others warnings: swearing, probably some angst info: crack fic, multi-chaptered, social media au, not much difference they just have phones lmao pairings: childe x kaeya // xiao x venti // zhongli x diluc + lumine and other characters requests: open posted: 26/02/2022 a/n: uuuuhuuu let’s gooo! ya’ll ready for some childe angst? let’s give kaeya a quick break and focus on the other owner of the one (1) braincell they share together and make it as messy as possible for them! can i get a hell yeah!? okay, listen there really is sth wrong with me because i had so mych fun writing this you have no idea asdfghjkl >> if you wanna talk or sth hmu here on tumblr or on discord (itskxnga#8629) or in genshin (eu // uid: 736495790)*

*pls do i need friends in the game T^T someone pls add me and let me visit ur serenitea pot cuz i’m stuck on a task T^T

PREV II MASTERLIST II NEXT

Childe was confused.

He was simply confused.

How in the world did it happen? They were going so strong. It was so good and fun and... amazing. 

He wanted to blame the alcohol but no one made him drink as much as he did on that dreadful night of Lumine’s birthday. And yeah, he probably wouldn’t confess if not for the alcohol making him forget anything that wasn’t Kaeya and how beautiful he looked. He was just too weak and even though, in hindsight, it was a horrible decision, a small part of him was actually happy he got it out of his chest.

What was definitely the biggest mistake, was running away next morning and now after all this time he knew that for sure. Because if he stayed they’d have to talk and he’d know if Kaeya even remembered the confession. He figured that was the case and that Kaeya wasn’t feeling good about it because they did not talk since then and Childe didn’t even want to think of another reason if he was wrong. 

But still if Kaeya did know, there were a few details that just didn’t add up for Childe because... was Kaeya truly that disgusted by his feelings that he had to basically cut him out of his life? Yeah, they were still in the same chat with everyone and they did talk but it seemed like it was never to each other and that fact made Childe really sad. 

The only reason why Childe would even think Kaeya was disgusted by the confession was because of what was told to him. Childe wasn’t really proud of himself for doing so but he wasn’t in Mondstadt and because of that he couldn't possibly know what was going on with Kaeya so he did the only thing he could think of in the moment and asked for help. Not Zhongli, not Lumine, not even seemingly the closest one to Kaeya - Diluc. Some of the Fatui members were heading out to Mondstadt and as soon as Childe heard about it he knew it was the perfect opportunity. So he innocently asked them to pay some special attention to Kaeya and how he looks and behaves if they were to see him.

And they did.

But now Childe wished they maybe didn’t because it certainly did not help to ease his mind. It was said to him that one night Kaeya was seen leaving Diluc’s tavern with a smile on his face. His eyes were a little red but they just assumed it was probably from drinking. Hs stopped and leaned his back against the wall for a second before chuckling, hiding something in his pocket and then walking away.

It made no sense to Childe. He was out here agonizing about what he has done and Kaeya was completely fine? But then why didn’t he reach out to him? It’s not like Childe was the one to always initiate the contact. From what impression Kaeya always gave him he felt like they were both equally eager to meet or text throughout the day. Also there were definitely days when Childe felt like Kaeya was almost desperate to have some sort of contact with him and if Childe was being honest, he loved that. It made him feel so good inside.

So yeah, the only conclusion Childe was able to form after hearing what they told him was that Kaeya indeed remembered Childe’s confession and was so uncomfortable and disgusted by it that the only option for him was to never speak to Childe ever again.

Some small part of him knew it was unlikely. How could Kaeya be disgusted when they were having sex for months now? But Childe was quick to silence that part of himself with thinking that having sex with someone and actually loving them are two different things. And they don’t always go hand in hand. Sex is just sex and Kaeya could’ve picked anyone in his place with how beautiful he was both in looks and personality-wise. Childe probably wasn’t special and it was as simple as that.

He knew every single one of his friends would say it was just plain dumb and foolish but he clearly wasn’t thinking straight in that moment. How could he when he managed to break his own heart by thinking all of this?

Eventually, he did talk to Zhongli - mainly because he was his closest friend in Liyue and probably the closest friend in general, but also because he knew Zhongli was always in some way in contact with Diluc since they were practically married without the actual marriage part, and maybe he’d be able to get some more information about Kaeya. 

Anything that could help mend his braking heart just a little.

Zhongli didn’t say anything and Childe did see that coming. He didn’t want to put himself or Diluc between them and Childe understood it. It wasn’t something someone else could solve. He knew if he wanted answers he had to talk to Kaeya and ask the questions. But it was too hard and the answers he was sure he’d get were too hurtful to even think about so he just smiled, fighting back the tears and thanked Zhongli for his time, assuring him he’s gonna be fine.

He probably won’t but it’s not something he should burden others with. It was his mess. He was the one to ruin everything before it even began and he was the only one who could do something about it. He didn’t even want to use the word “fix” because he already convinced himself there was no way to fix it. Yeah, maybe he did gave up but what else was he supposed to do when the only person he loved was disgusted by his love? He felt like even apologizing wouldn’t be good enough because he wasn’t good enough in the end. But Kaeya deserved at least that. 

So now he just needed some time to think and then apologize and ultimately leave Kaeya alone.

[princebete]

Sept 8th probably September 15th...

Is my official last day on the floor at my salonical spalonicals aka clinic hours working at a salon to qualify for my license as an an ADVANCED STUDIES esthetician ( more about that in a second huehuehueh)

So ive been through a lot and learned a lot about a dying education institution. Instructors and educators leaving left and right... some on their own accord and others are being fired for not having their educators license and lying about it (hmm) ...and the fafsa lady left so the Iowa financial director has been making weekly visits to talk to students about what they owe out of pocket

Some students having been told that they owe nothing, by mistake of the last person who left are finding that they owe hundreds to thousands.... WEEKS before boards. WEEKS before our contract end date....

My out of pocket expenses ended up being less than anticipated which is great, but still... i asked them “ are you certain i owe this amount?”

I had them confirm it and screen shot the text

I brought a check in with that amount ( not my money btw my bf parents are loaning me funds until i can pay back.... but it wont be until my student loans are under control. It’s okay. 👌)

Turned out the amount confirmed was over by like a couple hundred .... 🙄

Asked them to absolutely confirm once more for sure.... and we finally came to a final number which was practically a whole thousand less than before.... 🙄

( Seriously? This isnt just a number... it’s hours worked. Life time that cannot be returned. Get organized and get the fucking numbers right.... ) ugh these people 😑 they BAFFLE me.

Going to uni made me think the world was a bit more intelligent than this, i get to this place and I am so shocked by what i see. If they just implemented some of the stuff from uni, they’d be so mych better off... honestly...

Also i record EVERYTHING now. I cant trust my instructors at all. And none of them are on the same level of understanding.... they don’t communicate or remember or listen.. it is the most frustrating part of this place and it’s the reason none of these girls respect anyone.

Last night I had my final and so now my class is going to begin board prep. Basically, a practice practical and then the following week we do it. Im not all that nervous for the practical, in fact i cant wait to get it over with. Sept 4th will be the day we have it.... and hopefully ill be close to my hours to go take state boards at a separate facility and be officially licensed.

After this is over, and my grades check out....

Ill be smooth sailing till i hit 600 clocked hours and bim bam boom done.

A month from today ill be free and i can get out of this hell and back to actual life. Like my whole 27 year old summer is basically gone.this has been 6 months of nonstop week after week of schooling without a school break.

Im so so read—-

So in the mean time im still lurking here.

Sorry i couldnt be around as your prince this summer, it’s been too stressful to write. But once this is done with I can start looking forward to just working and living which includes tumblr.

Thanks for hanging out and stickin by//