#they would team up just to kick gabe's shit in and i might just write a ficlet where they do

[nerditudes]

my ocs mirac.ulous lady.bug aus be like

Spidey: Holder of the Spider Miraculous. Civilian identity is "Mr. Ken" a new literature teacher at Dupont. He's very-- flamboyant. All about creativity, telling students to follow their passion and dreams. His Miraculous allows him to create any object at will-- including ones made up. He's in his early 40s but is surprisingly spry when transformed. His civilian form uses a cane covered in stickers.

Shiva: Doesn't actually have a Miraculous. In fact, he's literally just a werewolf. When his cortisol levels rise, he transforms into a 7ft tall bipedal wolf. His lycanthropy can't be transferred via biting, but that doesn't stop folks from thinking he's an akumatized civilian. He's an old friend of Jagg.ed St.one and a minor celebrity back in the states. He was briefly a film actor, mainly in musicals.

[iballisticcatt]

Old and New Friends

Note: Some of this writing is not my own.  rainbows-fanfics let me have a draft and create this. Thanks!

Louis’ POV

It had been a bit over a year since the Delta. Violet had started to get social again and Willy ended up making a prosthetic for Clementine. Life had been good, great even. I was in the piano room, playing away anything I could remember or any sheet music I found before the other music room burnt down. The door creaked open and scared me, making me jump and scream like a girl. Clementine came in laughing.

“That scream was amazing Louis,” Clementine chuckled, “Do it again!”

I became defensive but playful, “I was in the middle of playing piano when that door decided to creak in the middle of me playing!” 

Clem made her way over to the bench and sat down on my left, putting her head on my shoulder.

“I was thinking back to that card game we played when I first got here. You remember when I talked about that baseball player I met?” Clem seemed to be a bit brighter than usual as she spoke.

I responded, clawing into my memory to see if I could recollect, “Very, very vaguely.”

“Well, I was wondering if we could take a trip down there, the wars going on in the area are sure to have died down by this point, and Javi would be glad to see me. It’s where Richmond used to be, It’s called New Richmond, It is pretty far from here, but we can make good time if we find a car. It’s 300 miles from here to there. It should be about a week’s walk from here.” Clementine seemed excited at the prospect of seeing these people again, how could I say no to a face like that?

“Sounds like a hard trip, but I’m in. Who’s coming with us?” 

Clem smirked and looked right into my eyes, “Just us.”

That was unexpected, to say the least, but I was all for it. I nodded and smiled at the thought of being alone with her for so long. We both got up and went outside and explained the idea to everyone. Clem did most of the talking while I sat there and looked dumb. The idea eventually passed through and everyone helped us pack, we were going to head out in two days.

The two days passed, and with several goodbyes from A.J and Violet hugging me out of nowhere, we were off. Those days on the road were harder than I had ever expected, it only made me feel more guilty for leaving Clem and A.J to die in the forest, before the Delta. They were also some of the best. The cuddle sessions were amazing by the fire each day as one of us was on watch while the other slept. Seven days on the road and we finally arrived at gates with spikes on the ends of it and a control platform above it. As I first saw the gate, my mind forced me to blurt out, “This gives off medal music vibes to me.” Clem chuckled and said simply, “That’s kinda the point, don’t you think?” I replied quickly, “Yep.” As we approached the gates we saw a boy in an orange beanie, tallish, and holding an AK-47. 

Clem yelled out at the boy, “GUESS WHO’S BACK GABE?”

The boy jumped and looked at us, gun raised, then lowered it after looking a bit longer.

“Clementine? Is that seriously you?” The boy seemed shocked and happy

“In the flesh.”

The gates opened as Gabe came out and approached, I was walking beside Clem as the boy came and eyed me.

“Who are you?” He asked, strength in his voice.

“I am Louis, Clem’s boyfriend, she wanted me to meet you and Javier. I’ve heard about you guys from her.” I replied with strength above his own, subconsciously asserting my dominance over him.

His face dropped a bit at this realization. The face he made confused me a bit, but I brushed it off as Gabe spoke, “Well Clem, You are always welcome here to New Richmond, so let’s come in and find Kate and Javi, I’m sure they will be as glad to see you as I am and meet a new face.”

We were guided through the gates and a clang followed as they shut, seeming to trap us here. I hoped they wouldn’t kill us, I was sure they wouldn’t though. We followed a road down through the city, the buildings tall and unlike something I had seen since I was ten. We stopped in front of an apartment complex, the building standing tall with a raven or a crow standing in the front. We entered the building and climbed a flight of stairs before arriving at a door.

“Well, here is their apartment, I need to go back and get on watch, have fun.”

I quipped and smirked, “We certainly will!”

Clem looked at me and turned bright red, “Louis!” 

I just chuckled and knocked on the door three times. We waited for a second before the door opened and a tall man with black, moppy hair and a beard opened the door.

“Guess who’s back?”

“Clementine?”

A woman’s voice came from inside the house, “Wait, are you talking to Clementine? Is she back?”

The man, whom I assumed to be Javier, called back and said excitedly, “Yeah, it is! I can’t believe it! Wait, who is this?”

Clem responded, warmness in her voice, “Javi, this is my boyfriend Louis! Been with him a year and I adore him, I brought him along to meet you guys.”

Javier eyed me before sticking his hand out, I took it in kind, giving a firm grip to return his own. 

“Well come on in, Kate can’t wait to see you, Clem!” Javi seemed to be ultra excited, it had been a while since they had seen another. 

The one I assumed to be Kate stood up, her bangs split into thirds on her head with a braid in the back. She hugged Clementineshe was caring before eying me.

“Who might you be?” Kate seemed slightly concerned at my presence, her protective mode seemingly kicking in.

I replied, trying to defuse the tension, “I, am Louis, Clementine’s boyfriend.” I laid a kiss on Clem’s forehead as Kate relaxed a bit.

Javier spoke up, “Well, the last time I saw Clem she had the personality of an aggressive rock.”

I laughed, too long for Clementine’s liking. 

“I can’t imagine her like anything else but a teddy bear!” I replied between laughs and wheezes. Man, I like this guy already. 

A knock came back to the door, Three taps. Javi moved over to the door and there stood Gabe.

Gabe spoke, “My watch shift just ended, figured I’d hang out with you guys.” 

Javi looked over at Clem, “Well Clem, Kate and I would like to show you some of the newer things here in New Richmond,” Javi turned to face me, “You sure you’ll be okay with Gabe here?”

I replied with humor, “Of course, I have to be on my best behavior for my teddy bear here!”

Clementine punched my arm and chuckled. 

Kate entered the room, “We’ll get going, see you guys in a bit.”

They left without another word, stranding me with Gabe. We turned to face each other and I gave him an honest grin, nodding once in his direction. He smiled and awkwardly copied the gesture. We were then left in silence, our eye contact slipping as neither of us dared to start talking. I twiddled my thumbs under the table as I thought of what to say.

"So..." I whistled under my breath. "You're an old friend of Clem's?"

He looked surprised as I started speaking, but nodded in regards to the question. "Yeah, you could say that."

"How do you know her?" I pressed.

This may be awkward, but I was least getting to know him some more. I felt that was appropriate to do in this time frame until Clem got back. Gabe looked startled before going quiet, staring at the table and messing with his cuticles in thought. He looked up and shrugged, not bothering to make eye contact with me.

"Clementine helped us with overrunning the New Frontier. I helped her with some things and Javi said we made a great team together. Whether it was taking out walkers or playing a card game. She was just nice to be around."

I arched my eyebrow in interest. "Card games?"

"Oh, yeah, I, uh, taught her one." He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again. "I think it was euchre."

"How about you and I play one, then?" I offered, grabbing the deck out of my usual pocket and holding it in my hands. "While we wait for them to get back, of course."

His eyes lit up. A good sign. "Shit? You carry a deck around with you, too?"

"You bet! Never know when the opportunity is gonna' come. I find that card games help lighten the mood." I dealt him a pile. "How about we play...war? Easy and shouldn't take that long."

"You seem to have a lot of confidence," He commented as he took his pile. I shrugged.

We started by focusing on the game first, easing into it by dealing with our cards. We had the same rank right out of the bat and, after turning them over, I found Gabe had the higher cards. I winched watching him take them and tuck them under his pile. Not a great start on my end, but I was sure I'd be doing better as the game progressed. We did a couple more rounds before I decided to speak again, clearing my throat.

"You said Clem was fun to be around with. Why's that?" His eyes looked into mine. They were too tense, so I followed it with a joke. "Didn't she, like, scare you? She has this aura about her, doesn't she? Freaked me out when I first met her."

"Oh, yeah." He gave a pitiful laugh. "I thought she hated me. Didn't think she'd ever talk to me."

"Right?" I laughed along. "I thought she'd stab me in my sleep when I first met her."

"She's intimidating, but I think that's why I liked her, you know? She's...interesting, once you get to know her."

He wore a shy smile as he flipped his card. I didn't say anything about it, not even when I won the round and took the cards. Gabe was right, after all. Clementine was a tough shell to crack, but when you got to know her, she was caring. To those, she liked, anyway. I admired her toughness as much as the next guy, and as much as it fazed me, I still didn't let it stop me from flirting with her.

"You're pretty good," He told me. I nodded back to him.

"You, too."

"So, Louis, uh..." He drummed his fingers against the table. "How do you know Clem? How did you guys meet exactly?"

"I think it was about a year ago. My friend, Marlon, found her and A.J. in a car crash near our boarding school. They treated Clem, but A.J. was a lot to handle without her there. He didn't exactly warm up to us at first. He was giving my friend Ruby a lot of issues. He even bit her on the hand just because she walked up from behind him."

"Oh, shit." Gabe cringed. I nodded and followed with a shrug.

"Yeah, well, I calmed him down by playing the piano. I don't know how long it was until Clem came into the room and met with him again. When she told me her name, I couldn't help it." A shit-eating grin grew on my face. "When she asked for another song, I sang her 'Oh My Darlin' Clementine'."

"How did she feel about that? She'd have punched me."

"She told me she loved that song. So I kept playing. I thought it would get on her nerves but it didn't. Not like that's an issue; I've found other ways to get under her skin."

I saw I had won the round and collected my share. By this point, we were getting closer to the end of the game. I was winning right now; Gabe's pile got smaller while we were talking. I grinned as we flipped over our next set of cards, hoping to get this meaningless victory just so I'd have something to talk about later. I noticed Gabe's sudden silence and glanced up. He was staring at his cards, a troubled expression on his face.

"Sorry, I meant to go easy but my cards were just too good." I rubbed my hand along my coat conceitedly.

He looked up in surprise. How do I manage to keep startling him just by talking? Either that or he was spacing out a lot. "O-Oh, uh, I was just...thinking."

"Well, then. Penny for your thoughts? They're not back yet and, as good as I am at winning, the game isn't exactly over just yet."

"Yeah." He chuckled nervously, watching as I won the round again. "I, uh...I was just wondering something. Like, um, how you and Clem are...together." His hesitation made me quirk an eyebrow. "The last time I saw her, she was really serious and kind of, well, hard at times. You're the exact opposite. How did she...fall for you, exactly?"

My eyes widened in surprise. I wasn't sure how to respond to that question. Juggling the card box in my hand, I thought about it seriously for a moment. "Well, I guess making her laugh a lot helped."

"How do you do that, though? It was hard just to get her to smile when I last with her." His frown deepened. "But you do it so easily...you don't even have to say anything and she still smiles."

"Heh." My chest warmed at that. "I don't know, honestly. It's usually me making a stupid joke and just hoping someone will laugh. If she finds it funny, she'll laugh."

His look didn't change. "Yeah. That makes sense."

It grew tense as we ended the game, all the cards in my pile. I expected to feel triumphant for winning, but the look on his face made me feel guilty for naturally doing so good at the game. I knitted my eyebrows together as I stuffed the cards back in, wondering what went wrong in our conversation. As I closed the lid and slid it back in my pocket, I faced him again.

"Well, that was fun! We should play another after dinner." It encouraged me to see him nod slightly. "I'm sure Clem will want to join, too."

He perked up. "Really?"

I wondered why he reacted that way so quickly. Before I question anything about it, we heard footsteps coming. Gabe smiled looking past me and stood from his seat, moving faster than I could get off of the bench. The door opened as we saw Clem, Kate, and Javier coming in. They were smiling, but I could tell just from the look on Clementine's face that there was something important. Gabe greeted them and I followed behind, slipping my hand into Clem's.

"You guys are back quicker than I thought," Gabe commented.

"Everyone's doing their job. We just checked in on things. We saw Jesus too." Javi explained. "What have you and Louis been up to?"

"We played a short game of war."

"And I won. Naturally." I added. Clem shoved my side as she rolled her eyes. I noticed Gabe watching us intently through the corner of my eye. As I turned, he faced his uncle.

"I can help you get everyone for dinner. And set things up."

"Thanks, Gabriel." 

Dinner was a blur, everything blends together when everyone is laughing. The next day Clementine and I left, giving our goodbyes. I was sad to go, Gabe was a cool dude, but that’s just how it goes. Seven days later and A.J tackles Clementine and then me. We were home.

[bugaboosandbees]

Rally to the Queen

Okay. I know that I shouldn’t be starting anything else new, and I definitely won’t start actually writing this until I finish with my Reine Ruse AU, but I ended up getting so attached to my Bee!Kagami design (and so salty about Onichan!Kagami) that I ended up with a whole slew of headcanons about a post-Riposte Bee!Kagami Kagaminette AU.

I call it Rally to the Queen.

Here’s what goes down.

This takes place immediately after Riposte.

Marinette still feels really bad about judging the point wrong. She talks to Adrien to ask how Kagami is doing. He says that he thinks that she’s okay now, but Kagami was totally exhibiting some behaviors that he recognized as the son of a largely absent parent with absurd standards. He doesn’t have the time he’d like to have to check in on Kagami, so he also tells Marinette that it sounded like Kagami was under a lot of pressure at home and was afraid of her mother judging her for losing the fight.

Marinette, of course, feels terrible and her patented Dupain-Cheng-family we-must-adopt-everyone genes kick in, so she decides to track down Kagami’s home address to apologize formally and to make sure that Kagami’s mom knows what really went down.

When she gets there, she’s flustered and awkward as usual but good-hearted and although Kagami’s mom initially is not thrilled about the weird intrusion, she doesn’t hate Marinette.

Since she’s there, she and Kagami end up chatting either that day or some other time. Marinette mentions that she’s looking forward to trying out for the fencing team again the following year to learn aside Adrien and Kagami.

Kagami realizes that she took the only spot on the team. She’s not the sort to feel bad about this and wouldn’t normally, but Marinette was being so kind and she’d actually tried to stand up to her mother for her, so she offers to give her fencing lessons. (Maybe she covers it up as extra practice for her as she’s not really much of a touchy-feely person.)

Anyway, Marinette starts going to Kagami’s house once a week for fencing practice. She always brings fresh baked goods. I don’t think Kagami has many friends, especially with how intense we’ve seen her family to be and being so new to Paris, so she might not really know how to deal with Marinette’s brand of friendship at first.

They become really good friends. I actually think they really would if they spent any sort of time together in canon without misunderstandings and Adrien and sometimes somewhat suspect writing in the way. They are both determined, powerful young women with hearts of steel and an unstoppable drive towards something that they’re very passionate about. They’re both straightforward and value honesty and dislike liars. They would be an UNSTOPPABLE team.

I don’t think Sapotis happens in this AU. There’s no salt against Alya here, but I think it would be reasonable for Marinette avoid giving a miraculous to her best friend no matter how much she’d like to share being superheroes with her. This is because Alya is shown in season one especially to be very adamant about revealing Ladybug’s identity. This was even the main goal of her akumatized form, Lady Wifi. Marinette loves Alya deeply, but I think that there would be reasonable doubt there about whether or not Alya would be able to keep her own secret or if she would use her position as a sometimes-superhero to discover more about Ladybug. We’ve seen in canon that Marinette obviously hates lying to her best friend, so I think it’s reasonable to think that she wouldn’t manufacture a situation where she had to do so even more.

Also, even though Anasai technically took place before Queen’s Battle, just go with me here and assume it didn’t and that Style Queen was the first akuma that Ladybug needed help with. We know that she picked the Bee miraculous in Style Queen and, as Marinette is good friends with Kagami already in this AU, she definitely sees how much this miraculous would play to her friend’s strengths. They also fence together all the time, so Marinette knows how Kagami fights and wouldn’t have to learn a new teammate’s style in the middle of an already complicated fight. Since Kagami isn’t Alya, she wouldn’t already be at the Effiel tower and wouldn’t be turned to glitter by Style Queen, so Marinette would be able to safely get the Bee miraculous to her.

Ladybug and Mitsubachi are a deadly combination. Style Queen never stood a chance. Everything goes pretty smoothly and Ladybug is able to get the Bee miraculous back from Kagami without incident. (That being said, Marinette is a flustered bi mess and totally fumbled once or twice in the fight because damn, Kagami makes a deadly and attractive superhero.)

And because I’m a sucker for redeeming Chloe I am physically incapable of leaving her out of this AU. Oops, lol. Without Queen Bee, the Queen’s Battle arc would definitely have some pretty substantial changes. Chloe’s mom would still be being pretty awful and Chloe wouldn’t have gotten her hands on the Bee miraculous. She’d still have to be upset enough to get akumatized over her mom (so Gabe wouldn’t give up being Hawkmoth (also, he’d have only just learned that the Guardian was in Paris so that might be another incentive)) but she wouldn’t become Queen Wasp because she was never Queen Bee in the first place.

Instead, she becomes a different sort of version of @imthepunchlord ‘s Princess Amour akumanette concept. She just really wants to be loved. Maybe instead of having a Chat Noir “knight” as the akumanette had, some ladybug merch of her’s would hold the akuma and turn into a version of Ladybug that would help and protect and validate Chloe as her knight. After LB beats this akuma, she has an honest talk with Chloe that night because she could see that Chloe was really struggling and, despite their very checkered past couldn’t help but wanting to help.

Ladybug gives Chloe some advice and Chloe does her level best to live up to it in her day to day life. It’s a long hard road and it doesn’t come easily, but every once in awhile Ladybug will drop by and knowing that her heroine is proud of her gives Chloe the push she needs to change for the better.

I should also mention that I’m switching the places of the fox and peacock miraculouses in this AU. If we’re still working with the headcanon that Mr. and Mrs. Agreste used the miraculouses that Gabe has, it makes sense that they’d have the butterfly because everything we’ve been lead to believe indicates that it was a good fit for Mrs. Agreste. That being said, what we know of the Peacock makes no effing sense for Gabe. He’s creative, crafty, and not above playing dirty. That man is a fox through and through, you can’t change my mind. Therefore, Fu has the peacock and the fox is the damaged miraculous sitting in the Agreste safe.

This is relevant, I promise.

So, Ladybug and Chat Noir have worked with Mitsubachi quite a few times. She fits pretty effortlessly into the team dynamic but is definitely with Ladybug in taking the job super seriously and not always being down with Chat’s attitude.

Kagami and Marinette are still hanging out. Kagami is falling for Marinette and Marinette is falling for Kagami, but Marinette had confided in Kagami earlier about her crush on Adrien, so Kagami thinks that Mari is still in love with Adrien and Marinette doesn’t think Kagami would be interested in her, so there’s an awful lot of mutual pining going on.

Hawkmoth is escalating and Fu approves of Kagami after testing her himself, so she gets the Bee miraculous on a permanent basis.

With the extra help, it’s a while before Ladybug’s lucky charm calls for another hero, but, when it does, she needs the peacock. Maybe she was going for Alya with this one, but, being the Ladyblogger, Alya has already gotten herself into the conflict and trapped by the akuma. As she’s looking around, Ladybug spots (lol, get it?) Chloe trying to get Sabrina and some other people to safety, consequently getting trapped or something. She goes to save Chloe, and when Chloe thanks her, she starts to wonder. Chloe has taken a good, hard look at herself and really improved in the past few months. She’s not perfect yet, but no one is. And, you know what? Getting the Ladybug miraculous went a long way towards making her a better Marinette. Mind made up, she offers the Peacock to Chloe and a new hero appears. (I’m thinking of naming Chloe’s peacock form Tirisi or Vindex -- Greek or Latin for (roughly) defender/protector/champion. See my rant on why the peacock miraculous’ powers make sense for my reasoning.)

Chloe gives the miraculous back when Ladybug asks and keeps working to improve herself so that her heroine might someday trust her again. (She loved being able to have the power and agency to connect with and help others -- she really loved feeling strong enough to save others and is starting to feel more confident that she can save herself.) She doesn’t spill her identity and becomes a reliable second-string hero when Ladybug’s lucky charm demands her presence.

Eventually turtle!Sabrina will also come into this AU because she really, really deserves her own character development. (And @mystery-vixen ‘ s design and art and @pyrepyro ‘s art for Turtle!Sabrina is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen in my life.) Maybe it’s some sort of Anasasi situation where Chloe’s in trouble and Sabrina is doing her level best to rescue her as a civilian, idk. (For turtle!Sabrina I was thinking Bouclier or Jadeite, unless you guys have ideas?)

Anyway, eventually, everyone has their miraculouses permanently. (This probably happens after Gabe and Natalie break out the fox.) Endgame is Kagaminette and Chlobrina, two sets of deadly wlw protecting Paris along with the bi disaster Chat Noir who is 100% willing to THROW THE FUCK DOWN with anyone who doesn’t respect the ladies of the superhero team. Chat Noir totally gets along with the whole squad, by the way. Between the four of them, the ladies are great friends and life coaches to our cat boi and help him work through what unhealthy attitudes he has in a respectful and caring way. They adopt him and are always hugging Chat or even just lightly resting a hand on his shoulder since they discovered he was touch-starved. (Especially Ladybug and Tirisi. All four would cut a bitch for that boy, but they’re the most touchy-feely.)

(Eventually snake!Luka joins the squad and he and Chat Noir get together and it’s just a giant group of badass queer superheroes kicking ass and protecting Paris.)

They eventually beat Hawkmoth and Adrien and Luka become the next Guardians (They’d do a great job, fight me). Marinette and Kagami are too busy for that anyway. They got married and Marinette started the world’s most successful fashion line while Kagami set some sort of ridiculous record for the number of gold medals a single person can win in fencing. Chloe and Sabrina get married and (because of Chloe) end up adopting a ridiculous amount of kids that they care for and love unconditionally.

Happily Ever After and The End. :)

Thanks for listening to my rant!

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Love Potion Extravaganza Ch. 4

Some one sided Alonsonaomi, more Gabela and well Naomi is the only sane man left. The songs I used were, It was a shit show, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b-tAiOVMYFY, Let’s have intercourse https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Ex9gyOmp0 and a snippet of Love makes the world brand new https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb8HEb9kZcg.

Carla’s mind snapped to attention, “Cute? I am giving myself and you think it’s cute?!”

“You are younger than me. And a malvago. And a danger to everyone in the kingdom. Why would I ever take you?” Gabe gave a small smirk at seeing her infuriated reaction.

“Because-because I am hot!” Carla cried then paused, “And I love you.”

“No you don’t.” Gabe spat.

“Yes I do.” Carla lied through her teeth, “I told you, my parents thought I was a burden. They’ve poisoned the waterways with a love potion and they gave it to me too so I would be too distracted to join them. That’s why I came to you. I was going to tell you but I once I saw you looking so..” She moaned.

Gabe narrowed his eyes at her but she just looked at him innocently. As if she really had been abandoned and was under a love spell directed towards him. He had to give her credit for sticking with such a ridiculous lie.

“Fine, I’ll play your little “love spell” game.” Gabe grabbed her wrist again in an iron grip and began to walk her outside. “Since you made your big declaration of “love” I guess I will have to reject you.”

“Huh?” Carla looked at him confusedly and uselessly tried to squirm out of his grasp when he started to sing in a deep clear baritone. “You love me, yes And I'll confess...

The thought of staying is so enticing.

And when you speak

My knees get weak

I can't believe what I'm sacrificing.” Suddenly Carla was very aware of all the Avaloran citizens that were staring at them. The Captain of the Guard dragging the highly-sought after malvago through the streets and singing a break up song to her. “But let's get real

We know the deal

So darling let's not tiptoe.”

She looked at Gabe and he just smiled proudly at her with mock-sympathy. Oh yes all those melty feelings were dead and gone. This was so humiliating. “This thing we have...

It’s not just bad

It would be a shit show.”  

“I get it. Will you stop?” Carla hissed trying to desperately plant her heels into the ground but Gabe just gave her a quick jerk that sent her tripping over her feet.

“We can't undo, can't make amends

Dysfunction would be our lingua franca”

Gabe leaned down to whisper her in her ear, “You chose to seduce the wrong guard. Besides, attempting a strip tease in song about how evil you are? Know your audience.”

“There's 'hard to get', then there's neglect

To say it's fate, you'd have to be a bit slow

Not to be crass

But it would sucked ass

And it would be a shit show.”

Gabe got tired of Carla’s futile squirming around and picked her up in a fireman’s carry leaving her no choice but to accept defeat. Carla’s face burned and she cursed her stupid idea to leave her tamborita and malvago robes in the janitor's closet of the restaurant.

“We have chemistry, of course, but that's a formula for divorce

A play about pieces of feces is what we are together!”

Several of Gabe’s comrades started clapping and cheering him on after his long note and it took all of Carla’s willpower not to bury her face in her hands. She had some dignity-ish, she would face their jeers with a glare. “Oh, what the hell, let's get a hotel

'Cause life is short and we're not getting any younger

But after sex, what happens next

I mean in the long run, not just fatigue and hunger?

And when you say that I should stay

That's exactly when I should split

Though I won't forget, I won't regret”

Gabe suddenly put her down into a low dip with the most obnoxious smirk directed at her mortification. She wanted to slap him so badly but with all these guards around her it would probably be best to obey. But still...this jerk! “This beautiful, heart stopping

Breathtaking, life-changing....”

Without any preclude, he dropped her flat on the ground like a sack of potatoes and she banged her head against the hard dirt.

“What the hell?” Carla groaned, rubbing her throbbing head but Gabe didn’t answer. She looked to see where he was staring. At the center of Avalor City’s square was the fountain which was being showered with sparkles and magicked-up jaquins. Dancing upon the fountain’s edges were Matato and Elena and Manuel and Valentina as an adoring crowd “awwww”ed and “ooohhh”ed over them.

She looked back at Gabe who had the look of an absolutely heartbroken man. His jaw went slack, his eye were wide and almost uncomprehending of the scene in front of him yet he was probably seeing it so vividly his heart was breaking into pieces over and over.

“Dumps you and goes for the wizard” Carla smiled, seeing a chance for her to escape, “That’s gotta hurt.”

She dove between his legs and kicked, knocking him over. She heards the other guards yelling for someone to stop her but she blended easily in the crowd and was gone. She needed to get her tamborita back and make sure everyone was under the spell of love.

“Gabe!” Naomi cried, pushing through the crowd to see Carla escape everyone’s grasps. Again. What was with people today?

“They’re- they’re together.” Gabe ignored Naomi’s frustrated look pointing a finger at the crown princess and her wizard king.

“Yes, they are. That doesn’t matter. You let Carla get away.” Naomi scolded but Gabe just lied back on the ground as if the world was too much for him to handle right now. “Elena’s with him? But she said she didn’t like anyone.” Gabe continued muttering to himself.

“Gabe listen to me” Naomi pulled him back up to sitting position, “Carla gave both of them a drink and they basically started making out. I think she gave them a love potion.”

“Heh she did say that her parents poisoned the waters with a love potion but she’s lying. Like how she lied that she was in love with me.” Gabe sighed.

Naomi gasped as a lightbulb went off in her head, “That explains everything! Gabe! Carla wasn’t lying about the love potion, that’s why everyone is acting nuts. Come on, let’s go to Mateo’s workshop, maybe he has something to fix this.”

Gabe laid down on the ground again, “I can’t. My heart hurts.”

Naomi looked at the fallen guard and weighed her options. Dragging him all the way to the palace could take too much time, but on the other hand she could use a partner. But...

She made a decision. She’d have to do this solo. She pushed Rico off his horse and rode off to the palace. It was like the horse understood the urgency of the situation and ran double-time to get to the palace. At the doors was a familiar carriage. On the steps Prince Alonso was pacing impatiently and Olivia sat forlornly waiting.

“Hi guys.” Naomi waved, rubbing the horse down from it’s hurried trek.

“Hi Naomi!” Olivia answered brightly, “Do you know where everyone is? I’m here for my lesson with Mateo and I’ve been knocking on the door but no one has opened up.”

Naomi nodded understandingly. Olivia had recently come by the palace more often since her school had a week off for spring vacation and Alonso must be here for trade meeting.

“I don’t know why anyone in the palace isn’t opening up but Mateo and Elena are in the Via Mercado. There’s a slight problem.” Naomi looked up to include Alonso into the conversation when his face stopped her in her tracks.

Alonso’s eyes were glazed over and a silly smile spread across his face, he pursed and unpursed his lips as if he was preparing to do a smolder. It was the same weird look Manuel had when he looked at Valentina. It was the same smile Mateo and Elena had before kissing each other. And it was aimed at her!

“Holy crap!” Naomi squeaked under her breath.

Alonso slowly ambled down the steps, smoothing back his hair and began to sing, ”Unfortunately, I want to have sex with you.

I don't know what happened

Maybe you lost some weight.”

Naomi’s horror that Alonso’s love was aimed at her faded away to disgust. They had only met one time, the morning after the Festival of Friendship. He was okay enough. A bit too full of himself since he would pause whenever he saw his reflection. But this? Who was he to judge her weight? And him singing like having sex her would be such a chore.. He would be lucky to have her! “For some reason, you're now on the top of my to-do list

Let's get this over with

So I can focus on other tasks.”

As Alonso leaned in for a kiss,she slapped him but he continued undeterred. He grabbed her and lifted her high in the air and roughly put her down on the ground again. She fell over his foot and a sharp pain went to her ankle. Rubbing it she glared at him but he was preoccupied with executing a standard ballet pas de deux with an imaginary partner. “Let's have intercourse!

Just pretend I'm seducing you.

Come on, let's quickly have intercourse

So I can move on with my life

My busy life.”

“What?” Olivia looked at the egotistical prince in horror and her eyes were so wide, Naomi thought her glasses would fall off.

“Oh my Lord, Olivia! Cover your ears. Run!” Naomi reached to cover Olivia’s ears herself but Alonso grabbed her by the waist and included her into his little ballet dance. “You and I are both highly intelligent people.

Although I'm in much better physical shape.”

Alonso kissed his muscles at this line and Naomi rolled her eyes. This was painful on so many levels. “Once we do it, it'll be like

Well, that's what that was like

And you'll hopefully go back to seeming weird to me.”

Alright, we meet for one morning and you write me off as weird. I don’t do anything weird! Okay I guess he might have found it weird when I lectured him on the best knots to use on a schooner but that was just a really important topic he needed to hear. The guy thought schooners could run on only a team of rowers. What kind of schooner would ever-

Naomi’s mental reverie was brought to sudden halt when she felt Alonso nibble on her neck. She shrieked, wiggling out of his grasp and fell back on her butt, hurriedly wiping the area where she still felt his lips. “But right now let's have intercourse

I mean, obviously you want to, too.”

“No way buddy! Not in your lifetime.” Naomi protested.

“Just super quickly have intercourse

You could use the exercise.”

Naomi growled at that last line until she saw Alonso leaping towards her. Before she could scramble out of Alonso’s grande jete path, he picked her up again while doing an arabesque. “Sometimes my body wants things that my mind does not.

My body wants things that make my mind go "Uh, body, what?"

We're animals, it's unfortunate

So come on, let's contortion it.”

Naomi looked down to see Olivia was obediently covering her ears and closing her eyes which Naomi sighed in relief. There was really no need for her to know these things and be scarred for life. Especially with Alonso singing about it. His version of intercourse was so not romantic.

“I won't be back to normal till

I see what your nipples look like!”

Naomi instinctively covered her chest, blushing from the top of her head to her toes. How dare he sing about her nipples! How dare he even think about them especially after he called her heavy.

“They're probably straightforward nipples

But I won't know for sure.”

“You will never know” Naomi vowed inside her head, thinking of some creative things to do to his nipples if he tried to take off his shirt in front of her. She wondered if royal princes ever had purple nurple. She would be happy to give him one.

“Until we stop wasting time talking 'bout it

And we super quickly

It'll only take a second

Have intercourse.”

Naomi got off his lap. “No way, Alonso. Hit the road!”

Alonso chuckled, “Naomi, there’s no need to play hard to get. Come on. Look at me and look at you. This is a chance of a lifetime.”

“Can I open my eyes now?” Olivia yelled out questioningly, ears still covered.

Naomi remembered why she had come. The love potion. This was all because of the love potion. Even Alonso’s obnoxious behavior. She had to bring everyone back to normal and maybe Olivia could help her too with her limited wizard magic.

But how would she do that with Alonso hanging around?

“Well..” Naomi said sweetly, “We shouldn’t have intercourse in Elena’s palace that would be rude. How about you go to the Via Mercado and gets us a room. Okay?”

“I’ll get us the best suite in all of Avalor. You’re in for the time of your life!” Alonso promised and gave her a brief albeit forceful kiss before jumping into his carriage and riding off singing, “The skyball's doing its shine-thing. The moving air is so sweet.” His voice drifted away as he sped off but the two girls were able to hear his elated shout, “Love makes the world brand new!”

“More like love makes the world turn cuckoo” Naomi muttered to herself as she went over to Olivia and gently uncovered her eyes, “Olivia, I’m gonna need your help with a big magical problem.”

[lwbluedice]

Masterpost for my Stories and Ocs!!!

A spoilerfree list of most of my Ocs and stories (reuploaded here on my main blog)

Includes:

- Name of the story and state it’s in

- short summary/facts

- Character names

If you want more information abt any of them(like a description or a pic) or abt the stories, just message me/ ask me!  Also feel free to ask me to draw them ( for example in the color scheme thing or sth)!

Note: The stories are all written in german so if you don’t speak that language i can’t send you the original documents but i can try summing them up for you!

I bet this is not everything and i will add stuff but yeah!!!!

Hotaru (first draft is finished)

- Abt two men that are linked through a surgery called “synchronisation”, which basically connects their minds and bodies, so they are forced to work as a team. Ea is an ex-soldier and Cain was a hacker, but due to the fact that they can’t stand each other, they also didn’t share their pasts with each other. To pay someone to unlink them, they become bounty hunters and kidnap the girl Ai and her robot Subaru, which is one of the old military robots, called Hotarus (high technologised, operating, transforming, artificial intelligence, ranger units). They are connected to a human ranger and can transform into what the ranger wants them to transform into.

The Hotaru headquarters exploded 10 years ago and since then the Hotarus are super rare on the black market.

The two men plan on selling both the girl and her robot and let’s just say it all doesn’t work out that well.

Ai Hoshino

Ea

Cain Bishop

Subaru

Dr. Chandra Natarajan

10 A

10 B

and other synced pairs

George Watton

Asha Watton

Elaine Bishop

Christopher Bishop

Haruto Hoshino

Shiori Hoshino

The Pleiades. A Hotaru Unit.

Atlas/ Emmett Hunter

Maia/ Ilya Neverwinter

Elektra/ Hailey Gray

Taygete/ Daiyu Ghou

Alcyone/ Charlotte Gryffith)

Caelano/ Sora Aurora River

Merope/ Imogen Harrington

Sterope/ Elizabeth Bresley

Additional Characters for the (maybe Sequel) in which the grown up Ai will try to find out who attacked the Hotaru Headquarters

- Skya

The day the world turned white ( first draft is finished, working on it)

To stop global warming some scientists basically caused a new ice age. On the long run this might be very effective but the former countries, now sectors, are hit by strong ice storms, called snow white. To stay safe huge bunkers, the Safe Cities, were built and the local fauna and flora were stored in Arks, to preserve them.

Usually an alarm sounds before all citizens are brought into the SCs, but this time Reese and her best friend Yuki dont manage to get to the vehicles on time and are left behind. They seek shelter in a private bunker outside of town that Yuki found out about recently. Suddenly a group of boys their age knocks on the door, because they were also left behind and followed the girls.

Al, the brothers Eli and Isaac, Gil and Henry become the new bunker-mates and the group has to survive one year in the bunker, until the storm is over.

( I have a blog for this story, just search for The day the world turned white! There are pics and some posts for example abt which patronus/spirit animal the charas have!)

Reese/ Therese Wells

Al/ Alexander Glover

Yuki Sarah Brooke

Eli Green

Isaac Green

Gil de Santos

Henry Summers

The Sun will always rise (The sequel, probably forever unfinished)

About a group of rebels, the Sun Children, that are sworn enemies to the government and its ways to cope with Snow White.

Takes place abt one/two years after Tdtwtw.

Lucy and Aidan are kicked out of an underground organisation that stays in the cities underground system during the storm phases and the two wander around in the snow until Michael and Rin pick them up and bring them to the Sun Children. From looking into the snow directly to maneuver, Lucy has turned snowblind.

Yeah the plot is… not 100% existent.

Characters:

Lucy

Aidan

Michael

Kate

Gil

Bo

Finya

Rin

The XII Games ( First book is finished, i started the second one, unfinished)

A story abt spaceships that let slaves fight in games, if they win a certain number they are “free”. Cassidy makes it and is sold to a women, Trisha, that takes her home onto her home planet, where Cassidy lives a nice life and learns abt her heritage. One year later she meets Tobias again and she and Trisha are brought to a planet that is basically the universes capital. Cassidy has to take a more important role in the uproar of a war, than she ever imagined.( The cast members are mostly human looking but are other, non human, races)

Cass (Cassidy ) E’ Alandril

Tobias

On the slave ship:

Neala

Sam ( Samuel)

On Anterra:

Trisha  Willowrish

Max ( Maxwell)  E’ Alyndral

Lukas

Tori

Khorr

Keri

Wil

Quinna

On the Space sparrow:

Zach ( Zacharyas) Gryaan

Benj ( Benjamin) Bottledom

Rashka Hyrelian

Oreadh Urunna'ur

Butcher

Kagrim

Kyluur

Irian Ashcott

On Capital Estellar:

Galea ( Galeandrih Fiyur’ Ihal)

Iyal

Wren Fawell

Luasia  

Luminor the Shining

Fallen Angels ( A trilogy, one and a half books were finished, reconcepted)

We don’t talk abt this but it was one of my first stories i truly wrote.

Abt fallen angels saving the world or sth. It’s super clichee and just ugh.

The newer version would cancel some charas and make it abt rebalancing Darkness and Light in the worlds. With a more diverse cast and also different magical races. And a way less creepy Adam.

Eve/Evelyn White

Adam

Peregrine/Perry

Ray/Raven

Sera

Colin

Robin

Raphael

Ky/ Kyron

Gabe/Gabriel Frost

Bree/ Gabriella Frost

Indigo ( haven’t written it yet and i don’t know if i ever will, but have drawn stuff. I lowkey wanna see this as a comic)

A story abt a clan of shapeshifters, called Indigos. They are basically human that can shift into dolphins and their clan lives on an island near Australia. Its a modern story and the gang consisting of our local gay dolphin girl Keerie, her cousins Akash and Arjuun (younger brother, older sis), and Ky ( adopted as a child, japanese heritage, a different breed of dolphin idk) lives their “normal lives” with lots of shenenigans and drama.

Some day Keerie falls in love with Navy, the daughter of the owner of the local Aquapark (that the clan suspect also does illegal stuff like snatching wild animals).

Keerie

Arjuun

Akash

Ky

Navy

“Neo Alcatraz” ( reworks of a very old story)

To put it simply, there is a pack of scientists that bionically enhance children and send them off to different countries to basically be local superheroes. Our gang was kinda left behind bc the countries rather took the newer, better versions and here they are now, a bunch of supernatural teens facing the (not so) everyday struggles of life.

Atalanta

Chi

Callie

Lee

Victor/Konrad

Gemsona (just art)

Larimar

- has water powers and her backstory bases on my private/old Squads life story and a lot of me thinking of drawing music videos for her but never doing it

Anthea (art and headcanons)

- my Dnd Oc

The Bender Girls ( art and headcanons)

- basically some Avatar the last Airbender Ocs i made once

Daiyu

Hotaru

Yura

Sündenfall / Sinfall (short story)

A short story i wrote for a competition which is basically every crime series but magic.

Harvey is immortal, he dies and is revived, and solves crimes through it. Paige is basically his assistant and the case they are on is abt a person that kills magical beings and “arranges” the victims fitting to the seven sins.

Ilya Winter

Harvey

Paige

Delphi

Sphinx

The concept charas, that had a different storyline ( they were basically a team of magical beings that would solve cases… rather unconventional.) I considered reworking them into the new Fallen Angels concept:

Ilya

Harvey

Timothy

Worth mentioning:

Project Alpha (script, some art):

The script for a shortfilm i once made with my friends. A school class has a plane crash and only a few students survive, they all embody a different character archetype (the sunshine, the soziopath, the smart one etc.) They try to survive and are put through weird psychological mind experiments like the trolley problem.

To be honest, the concept had and still has a lot of potential and we just hadn’t the opportunities to rly set it the way we anticipated. The shooting day was super fun, though! Still laughing about the outtakes

Astral Chronicles (some art and a few chapters, unfinished)

A story Idea i still like but probably wont write like this because of copyright problems. Its basically a giant Crossover.

Its abt people who have an Astral( mostly a literature figure) they embody when they are dreaming. Their body stays in bed and is vulnerable but the Astral can basivally run around and has special powers. If the Astral dies, the person wakes up but i think when the body dies the person dies too? idk.

The Protagonist embodies Alice and there are also the White Rabbit, Peter Pan, Tinkerbell usw.

There was also some kind of conflict? I dont remember.

If i would ever rewrite it the Astrals would be embodiments of the Zodiac signs.

(does this even fit?)

The Fanfiction thing i wrote abt Peter Pan/ Jack Frost

- like i have tons of short drabbles and the start of a fanfiction and honestly i liked the ideas i had a lot

The ones we better not talk abt:

Part Hunter

Basically there was a being named eternity/aeterna that was shattered into oarts (like in TRC)

and chosen ones have to reclaim them.

The ones that basically die are turned into guardians, like Time and Space ( they had animal companions they were fused with i guess)

Melody is the current part hunter and has a tragic love story, her animal is a tiny horse thing??????

Idk

basically a long story in which i used my dreams as base for the episodes

The nameless story

Actually super interesting but too many charas and a too tiny will to draw action scenes or write them.

Like its based around a super popular game in huge spheres/buildings and the teams wear some anti gravity outfits and shoes and can walk on the walls and shit and can basically attack using elements/illusion/ conjure monsters idk.

And the main team had an opponent team that basically specialized in the 25272 other elements and some day they just fused teams idk.

There also was some prophecy shit abt the anchors, ppl that can control all elements the same???? Idk

Element guardians

- basically four teens that control the elements and do shit together

- at some point i gave all of them dragons

- still thinking abt this sometimes

- The originals:

Luna: the shameless self insert , earth, pony girl, bland blonde i think

Katy: Air, best friend, bubbly

Dan: The jock. Fire

Nick: The emo. Water

At some point Katy became Skye and Dan and Nick got other names but yeah-

Talent Academy

The story thats basically a ripoff of Alice academy. Like a school with hierachie between the students and ranks and shit and different houses and the students have powers IDK

If you read through all of this, bless you for showing interest in my stories ;) And hey, if you want me to rant about any of them, just send me an ask or a message!!!

[gyromitra-esculenta]

Crackverse 9: Old Soldiers

For dear waifu @drift-ed that bugged me about crack enough. The ugly-ass sweaters are mentioned only in passing, Jack and Sombra bond over, and there is a mention of Smurf tits and weaponized tennis tables. Masterlist:  Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5Part 6 Part 7 Xmas New Year Part 8 Soulmate AU

It was all peachy and dandy until the goon decided to pull a gun on Jack. Jack didn’t like having guns pointed at him.

“Grumps, uh…” Sombra switched to a private-private channel. “Shouldn’t we, like, call an ambulance, or something?”

“Anonymous tip-off. Done five minutes ago.”

“But… he just went up to him five minutes ago?”

“Yes.”

“Madre de Dios, does that happen that often!?”

“Have I ever told you about the Paris Table Incident? That one got recorded.”

“You’re an evil, evil man. I know I shouldn’t, I will regret it, but I’m going to look that up right now.”

*

“It was like watching a beautiful hyper-train wreck. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t take my eyes off. It wasn’t a publicity stunt?”

“No.”

“That was real?”

“We tried to pull it off the web.”

“Whoever titled it ‘Five easy steps to disable bastion unit with a tennis table’ was a goddamn marketing genius.”

“Yep.”

“Why the tennis table though?”

“It was on hand.”

“And, grumps, you willingly share the bed with that thing? Respeto.”

“As long as I don’t cheat on him.”

“Good abuelo doesn’t know about your boyfriends then.”

“…shit.” To be perfectly frank, Gabriel admitted, he had forgotten that little detail himself.

“Are you both done fucking around? I’m fucking boiling,” pinged at the other private channel.

*

Keeping Hakim occupied enough to not notice a human bulldozer going through his ‘security’ wasn’t that hard. Keeping himself from snorting out loud when Sombra sent him a picture of an almost literal pile of bodies of said ‘security’ was a challenge.

“Well…” And that poor bastard who just lost half of his teeth on the other side of the wall. “Keep at it. Once you set a trap you never know what will fall into it.”

“Hilarious,” Jack grumbled on the line. “Your plans fucking suck. Where the fuck are you?”

“Of which we have a perfect example just now,” Gabriel rolled his eyes behind his mask and when Sombra finally let the feed go through he ghosted away to the sound of Hakim’s indignant squawk at the sight of his ‘security’ properly disposed of. Or virtually annihilated. It was time to start the show. “Right here, Jack.”

The following scream of pain was indisputably deserving of an Oscar, Gabriel thought.

*

Winston harrumphed lightly at the sight of D.Va and Tracer dancing to the song Lucio was in the act of composing at the moment. Was that Beethoven he heard in the background?

“Winston, luv, watcha want?” Lena giggled at him, waving her hands erratically in the air.

“Oh, yes, did Soldier tell you anything about, hm, a trip to Egypt?”

“Sure, luv, he’s getting his mum.”

Winston’s left eyelid twitched nervously when he thought about exactly what potential female specimen could have spawned the man in question. Sure, he was capable and useful, certainly resourceful and knowledgeable about combat operations, but the temper. God, the temper and the mouth on him…

“His mother?”

“To be exact,” Lucio nodded, “he was more like ‘mommy won’t be hiding for much longer now’.”

“Our own grandma, imagine that!” Hana high-fived Tracer.

“Holy shit,” Jesse let the camera fall to the couch beside him, eyes wide, meeting the questioning gaze of the other three people and one genetically modified gorilla in the room. “I just, uh, remembered, I was supposed to buy Genji the return ticket. Be right back!”

*

“You motherfucking arsehole! You fucking shot me!”

“Jackie, baby, we agreed on that,” Gabriel had a creeping feeling of suspicion tugging at the back of his mind that maybe, maybe, he, unbeknownst to himself, did manage to botch something up.

“We fucking agreed on the fucking lower back!”

“That’s not much of a difference, baby?”

“Gabriel,” it was the full name now and the warning edge he hadn’t heard since forever in Jack’s voice. He… was definitely in serious trouble here. “I’m not fucking wearing fucking armor on my ass!”

Shit. There it was.

“Jackie…”

“Well, you should, anciano,” Sombra yet again invaded the ‘private’ channel, she was worse than Pharaoh’s ants. “To protect your assets.”

The deafening silence on the other side of the comm could have only meant one of the two outcomes possible – and neither of them was any good, honestly. Gabriel readied for screams, or to duck behind a cover under a barrage of pulse fire because, if the universe worked properly – and it usually did regarding its capability to screw him over – Jack was somewhere with a good vantage point. And just behind Gabriel’s position.

“You know, that was actually pretty good, chica,” Jack chuckled.

“I know, I was sitting on it for days, abuelo.”

Well, Gabriel certainly had not expected that, and neither had he expected the silent dread welling up in his gut at the sudden realization that if they teamed up… No, he was better off not even trying to think about it.

*

“Genji, code red, y’all not going to fucking believe it!” Jesse almost screamed into the phone while pacing on the roof of the watchpoint.

“I’m not believing it already because I’m looking right now at a pair of Smurf tits.”

Jesse stopped and reconsidered.

“What?”

“Smurf tits.”

“…why?” This was a question Jesse was almost afraid to ask.

“Check your mail, I forwarded it.”

“…dude, answer me first, are these Smurf tits of the Papa Smurf banging Smurfette variety, or just regular Smurf tits variety?” Jesse formulated his words with some modicum of care while propping the phone on his arm and navigating the datapad’s menu awkwardly.

“Regular Smurf tits variety,” Genji confirmed with the accompaniment of a baby crying in the background.

“Huh. I got two.” Few fast swipes and Jesse had to sit down. “Okay, one, what’s with the ankle biter? Two, did she really write out the accent? Three, why did she mailbomb our server?”

“One, I’m flying coach, because someone forgot to buy me a ticket. Two, yes. Three, heck if I know.”

“Dude, I’m sorry, my condolences. I’m coming to pick ya up.”

*

Kicking in doors was never regarded as a subtle method of an entrance to a safehouse, but, considering, Gabriel had nothing in particular against it at that very moment, not when the whole 'lower back' dispute just blew over miraculously. The privacy thing notwithstanding, he should thank Sombra for her horrific puns she and Jack seemed to bond over - even if the very idea of that happening made his skin crawl uncomfortably. Maybe another of those atrocious sweaters would do, and getting Jack out of one shouldn't be a problem at all.

“I'm taking it out of your fucking ass,” the man in question mumbled in between the kisses and generous groping.

“Of course, Jackie,” Gabriel went for another kiss when a strange whistling sound caught his attention, along with a pinprick in his neck. He swatted at it dislodging something metallic.

“Haven't I told you, boys, not to ever try to trick the trickster?”

Jack's eyes rolled back and he went down like a literal sack of bricks.

“...fuck,” Gabriel managed to mutter before he joined him on the floor.

*

Gabriel had to honestly admit he felt properly and thoroughly chastised for being an unreasonable melodramatic moron with no imagination whatsoever, and he couldn’t fault Ana for quietly announcing the whole list of reasons why she was so, so disappointed with both of them. The mention of her having to remove the buckshot by hand had him wincing, really.

But now, they sat with the tea slowly getting cold, mesmerized by the spectacle taking place on the opposite side of the table.

Said spectacle laid sprawled on the couch and giggled menacingly while slapping his own face. Gabriel was thankful for the nanite metabolism that got rid of the cocktail fast and painless.

“Remind me that if there ever is a choice between sedating him, and shooting this stupid head of his off, there is no choice.” Ana shuddered.

“Yeah. This is easily the second scariest thing I’ve seen in my life,” Gabriel agreed. Jack mumbled something while almost putting two fingers in his eye and drifted away into the realm of sleep, again.

“I’m afraid to ask what was actually the scariest one,” Ana took a sip.

“I…” Gabriel faltered, returning for a second to the gut-wrenching horror when… No, it was better to leave it in the past. “I’d rather not say,” he added sourly.

“I see,” Ana patted his arm calmly, sighing. “At least now you are both all right. More or less.”

“So, how did you figure it out?”

“Gabe,” she rolled her eye, “you’re both bad enough on your own, but together, you are two biggest dramatic fucks I’ve ever known in my life. ‘I know your every move before you even think it’? I might even feel a little bit insulted.”

“Fair point.” Gabriel almost dropped the cup when Jack chose this exact moment to jerk awake, laugh manically, and then roll off the couch and land with a loud thud on the floor. One pale hand slowly rose in the air.

“Papi…!” Jack whined from under the table.

*

“…and conzidering ze dating-zess-pool of Talon has ze collaborative iq of pond zcum…” Lucio suspended his dramatic reading of Widowmaker’s e-mail to wave at Jesse and Genji. “…I turn to you in ze hope of alleviating zis issue…”

“What the fuck y’all doing?”

“Cowboy, good you’re here,” Hana zeroed on Jesse, her smile putting most of the known species of shark to shame. “We’ve reached a group decision you are going to take one for the team. If she gets laid, maybe she’s going to be less of a bitch to deal with!”

“Are y’all fucking daft!? Genji?”

“Oh. No, you’re on your own, McCree,” the cyborg took a step back. “After all, you forgot to buy me the return ticket.”

“You’re going bowling Saturday night, luv, the lane’s booked!” Tracer gleefully declared while handing him reservation details.

[jessejackreyes]

Infatuation and Allergies

So this is from a prompt/head cannon by @randomdraggon I don’t know how to link on mobile. Anyway, it’s longer than I was going for with my short writings but I finished it pretty quickly and am looking for more prompts for short works for Overwatch pairings if anyone has them.

Infatuation and Allergies

Jesse was fucked, not that it was anything new, but still it was worth repeating. Commander Reyes had been in a bad mood and of course the cowboy couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t just irritated or angry, something had him legitimately upset. So what does he do? He went out and bought the man a bunch of wildflowers to try to make the super soldier feel better.

It was stupid, but they smelled wonderful and he hoped that they would brighten up his office and his day. Gabe worked too long and too hard as it was already, the least McCree could do was to try to help alleviate a bit of that stress with some cheer. And, if he still held onto the old crush he had on his commander the past few years, well nobody had to know that was a part of the reason. It’s not like he was getting the man a bouquet of red roses. Jesse McCree may not always be the smartest guy in the room, but even he wasn’t stupid enough to try something that forward.

It was easier than he had feared to lose his nerve on the way to meet the man, but luckily he had a plan b just in case. All he had to do was sneak into the commander’s office while he was out for any number of reasons and leave the flowers in a vase on the man’s desk with a note and retreat before the man returned. The note was unsigned, it merely read ‘I hope these brighten up your day.’

Breaking into his superior’s office used to be a nerve wracking experience that would leave the cowboy paranoid for the rest of the day at least. Today however, he felt lighter than air after having done so. The thought of Reyes returning to find a face of colorful and wonderful smelling flowers to brighten his dreary mood raised the younger agents own spirits considerably. There wasn’t a damn thing that could dampen his mood, at least until he found himself in the mess hall that night.

That was when he saw it. The vase of flowers he had snuck into Gabriel’s room had been thrown into the trash in the communal mess hall. He tried not to let it show, but the silent rejection hurt far more than he would ever admit. Those soaring spirits fell, hard and fast. The cowboy hadn’t felt this lost and hurt since Reyes dragged him kicking and screaming out of Deadlock almost six years ago. Without even realizing it McCree had lost track of time, snapping back into focus when a familiar voice startled him.

“Jesse!” The strike commander’s voice pulled him back to reality and he had to stifle a groan. He was not in the mood to handle other people right now, especially not Jack. The man was always to good at picking up on McCree’s moods and always wanted to help. “You look like shit kid,” Jesse found that he couldn’t return the man’s playful grin.

“Sorry sir. Bad day,” Was all he could bring himself to say. He shrugged and tried to keep moving, away from the blonde. If he could make it to his room he would be safe.

“Come with me Jesse!” The strike commander’s tone was hard and commanding suddenly. He wanted to scream It was the voice he used that demanded obedience. McCree had even seen it work on Reyes from time to time, no one but Jack Morrison could do that. It really meant that there was no getting out of this without dealing with whatever Morrison wanted.

It took the cowboy several minutes to realize that Jack wasn’t leading him to his office, they were nearing the commander’s private quarters instead. That was new, he could count on one hand the number of times he had seen any commander’s room. He had figured he was in trouble, now he wasn’t so sure and that just made him even more nous than before.

Eventually they went inside. Jack had a big room, that was the first thing the younger agent thought as they passed the threshold. It was decorated with pictures more than anything else. He took the seat he was offered as Morrison left the room briefly in, leaving Jesse to free to scan around the room. Most of the pictures were of their team members and their families, Jack was in many, but nowhere near all of them. The man looked like he loved the company and the memories. Jesse’s confusion as to what he was doing here redoubled when the blonde returned handing him a beer.

“Thank ya kindly,” He drawled taking the proffered drink. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he wasn’t going to question not being in trouble and drinking with his boss. Jack indeed joined him, the two of them drinking in silence for a few minutes. It was a pleasant change. Jesse hadn’t spent any amount of time just relaxing the commander Morrison in years, they were both busy. Hell he barely got to see Ana and Fareeha these days.

“So, you left Reyes some flowers today?” The accusation hung heavily in the air. The blonde’s voice was soft, but it had McCree on edge. Jack did not respond well to lies, even still Jesse was tempted.

“Yes sir,” He slumped defeated at the admission.

“Allergies,”

“Huh?”

“He’s allergic. That’s why he threw them away,” The blonde explained softly. “Even as a super soldier he never got over it, just handles it better than he used to. Shame too, he actually likes flowers,”

“Shit, so I got him sick?” Now the cowboy was worried Reyes was going to think he was trying to mess with him or something.

“Nah he’s fine. If you’re trying to brighten his day chocolates work wonders. He’ll never admit it but he’s got a huge sweet tooth,”

“Why are you giving me advice,”

“One, I like you. Two, we’ve tried to help, maybe you’ll be able to cheer him up. Three, He likes you,” Jesse wished he had more control then and there, because he couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot at the thought.

“Any idea where I can find some chocolates?” Jesse asked quickly, deflecting the attention away from his grin and the burning in his face.

“I’ve got a nice box of Swiss chocolates,” The cowboy raised an eyebrow. “What? You didn’t think I called you here without a plan did you?” He quickly retrieved the sweets, still cold from the refrigerator. “I’ve also got a sweet tooth, but this is a good cause.”

“Thanks Jack!” Jesse jumped out of his seat excitedly. “Sorry to run, but I’ve got a great idea to go with these chocolates and I gotta run,”

“Good luck Jesse!” The blonde called after him with a soft smile on his lips as the man in the Stetson dashed down the hallway like a bat outta hell.

His best friend in this place should be around here somewhere. He needed Genji’s help for the second part of this gift/apology. Eventually, he found the cyborg in the middle of one of his checkups. He ambushed the other man as soon as he stepped out of Angela’s clutches.

“I need your help Genji,” He said way too fast.

“What’s wrong?” The cyborg asked both annoyed and concerned.

“I need you to help me make some of those pretty paper flowers like you showed me a while back,”

“Why?” The ninja asked, at least slightly confused.

“Because I messed up and I need to apologize but he’s allergic to real flowers and this is the next best thing I could think of,” McCree was sure that Genji would likely make fun of him, but as long as he helped him it wouldn’t matter too much.

“Okay, I don’t have the best selection of paper right now, but come on I’m sure we can get something vaguely respectable still. I mean we have to try real hard to impress the commander,” Jesse rolled his eyes, he could feel the eyebrow wiggle that the cyborg must have been doing underneath his mask. If that was as far as the teasing went this was going to be easy.

Jesse had to wait until dinner that evening for his commander to leave his office again before he could sneak back in and set his second plan in motion. When his commander got back he would find a nice box of Swiss chocolate in the midst of a pseudo bouquet of brilliant, and not so brilliant paper flowers. His note this time read ‘Sorry about the flowers. Didn’t know they would be a problem. Hope you like these ones a might better. -McCree’

He would never have found the nerve to sign his name if Jack hadn’t mentioned that Gabe liked him too, at least he hoped the strike commander meant it like that. He hoped it wasn’t too forward, I mean it was just a feel better gift after all. It was no big deal. The next morning he caught a glance of the man smiling that hard, barely there smile he wore when he was in a good mood, eating a bit of sweet chocolate. Jesse nearly melted on the spot. Yeah, he was so very fucked alright.

[allthislove]

I don’t understand how people can take their siblings for granted.

I have 4 siblings. Two of them are half-siblings, from my mom’s first marriage, but they’ve always just been my brother and sister. I love them all, but I also feel blessed that I still have them all, and that our relationships with each other are all good.

I understand that isn’t the case, for some siblings. Siblings fight for different reasons, and sibling relationships can even be abusive. But, a wonderful person I know lost her sister this year, not too long ago, and it really got me thinking about how important these relationships can be. God, these people who have been there with you for most of your life, or most of their life, who you probably grew up with, who will probably stay in your life for the rest of your life... I mean.... it’s a relationship unlike any other. And, sure, not everyone is friends with their siblings. I understand that. What I can’t understand is purposefully being antagonistic to your sibling. Especially your baby sibling.

Which is why I’m writing this blog. One of my older brother’s friends... he’s absolutely shut out his baby sister. And I mean BABY sister. Like, this man is 31. His little sister just turned 17, and he hasn’t really been in her life since she was 15. And it’s really taken a toll on her. 

Let me tell you about this grown ass, piece of shit of a man. Although, caveat, it might not entirely be his fault? His wife seems to be a big factor, and honestly, there are a lot of abuse red flags coming from her, so....

Anyway, their family has been friends with my family for as long as I can remember. His mom is one of my mom’s best friends, and I still see his mom and sister often. My mom is his baby sister’s godmother, so the girl is my godsister. She’s pretty, sweet, adorable, smart, athletic... and get this: she’s even leaning towards going to the SAME UNIVERSITY that her piece of shit older brother graduated from. (I’m probably going to call him a piece of shit a lot, forgive me. I mean, he was a big part of my life, and I knew him well, growing up, and I am really angry with him for this.)

So, for the purposes of this story, I’m going to give all parties fake names. 

His mom: Maria, Him: Barry, Baby sister: Kayla, Wife: Vanessa, his children: Barry Jr. and Bonnie. 

Barry met Vanessa in college. She was his first serious girlfriend, and their relationship was sort of volatile. I mean, kicking him out of apartments, getting restraining orders against him, that type of thing. I don’t know Vanessa, and I had never been involved in their life, so I can’t say if Barry truly did anything to deserve being kicked out and having restraining orders against him. At the time, I assumed he did. I usually side with the women. So while my Mom and Maria were discussing the situation (sometimes I’d be around), I was usually like “But, what did Barry do?” 

So, a few years into this match made in hell, Vanessa ends up pregnant. Barry’s all excited, and so is Maria. I’m like “... isn’t this the same bitch that he’s always getting into it with?” But it’s not my business, so I just give a congratulations, and let them be happy. Barry Jr. is born, and Barry and Vanessa live together, and all of this bs. Barry’s got a degree, but he’s sort of... one of those guys that’s never really got it together? So, he’s starting all these strange businesses and they keep failing, but every time he does, Maria and her husband (not Barry’s father; Barry’s father passed away when he was a baby) loan Barry money for the business. Anyway, Barry starts this black haircare business, and of course, it’s not doing great, but Maria LOVES her son. He’s the apple of her eye, can do no wrong. And Barry IS a really nice, earnest guy, so there’s no reason for her not to except that he’s bad at business. 

Then, of course, Barry and Vanessa get into it, again. Vanessa kicks him out of their apartment, and Maria takes Barry in. Vanessa gets all indignant, and is like “YOU CAN’T SEE BARRY JR!” and Barry, of course, is emotional about that, so they try to fight it. Maria is supporting him 100%, and even helps him take Vanessa to court. It’s a stupid, pointless court battle, and eventually doesn’t even matter, because Vanessa takes Barry back. They move in together again. Meanwhile, Barry’s failed another business and Maria and her husband lost money.

Then, Barry and Vanessa decide to get married. Everyone is like “...” because Vanessa is always like kicking him out and getting restraining orders and trying to keep him from seeing his son, and it’s literally a shit relationship, but they’re getting married. My brother is one of Barry’s best friends, and they have a group of friends from high school, that they’re like all besties and have been besties ever since. There’s four of em. My brother, Barry, Mike (fake name), and Gabe (fake name). Mike and Gabe are both already married (to lovely women who compliment them), and they decide to talk to Barry. They urge him not to marry Vanessa, because the relationship is too volatile, and it won’t be good for him or Vanessa, and certainly not for Barry Jr. But Barry, naturally, gets angry and is like “Anyone who doesn’t come to my wedding is out of my life.”

So, the wedding rolls around, and Mike and Gabe both refuse to go, but my brother goes because he’s like “I’m the only one of Barry’s friends that will be there to support him” or whatever. My brother is super nice and just wanted to be on his friend’s team. And Maria and Kayla both go, too, because, well, Barry is Maria’s only son, and Kayla’s only brother. And they get married, and it’s okay, for a while. And Barry made good on his promise to cut Mike and Gabe from his life, which Mike and Gabe both shrugged off. Because, whatever. (BTW, Mike’s kids were playmates to Barry Jr., so Barry also took them away from his child for no reason.)

But uh oh... Vanessa’s not done. She had a problem with Maria because Maria, understandably, is cautious about her, after the years of drama she’s been through with Barry. So, Maria tries to keep up a relationship, babysit her grandson Barry Jr, all of that, but Vanessa feels insulted by the fact that Maria doesn’t like her. I’m sure they’d exchanged words, and things hadn’t been pretty, because the relationship has been volatile for a long time. Meanwhile, some complicated stuff about Barry borrowing money from Maria’s brother (his uncle) arises, and that gets ugly. So, apparently, Vanessa starts convincing Barry that his mother is not in his corner, and should be out of their life. Meanwhile, if you knew Maria and Barry and closely as my family did, you’d be like WTF??? Because Barry was Maria’s WHOLE WORLD. And he was such a  Mama’s Boy, when he was a kid and teenager. To even suggest that Maria was not in his corner is crazy.

I mean, I spent the night at their house. I was always over there, and Barry was always over our house, because our families are super close and our moms are STILL BEST FRIENDS. And my older brother is still one of Barry’s closer friends (although they don’t talk much, these days, either.... which is again why I said Vanessa gives me abuser red flags. Isolating people from their friends and family? A sign of abuse.)

So, Vanessa is pregnant, again, and she’s also convinced Barry that his mother is against him and shouldn’t be in their lives. And, get this, Barry AGREES, and they stop talking to Maria.

And Vanessa gives birth to their baby girl, Bonnie, and Maria doesn’t even get to see her. Barry doesn’t even bother to tell her that Bonnie was born; she had to hear from other people.

So, I bet you’re wondering how Kayla got in the middle of this, right?

Well, young Kayla, at the time 15 years old, calls her brother because their mother is heartbroken and in tears. And she basically says to him “how dare you treat our mother like this!” and accuses him of abandoning their family. Mind you, Barry had been the sun and moon to both of them. He treated Kayla like she was golden, when she was a baby and a little girl. 

And Barry says “This is adult business, you wouldn’t understand.” So, Kayla tells him off, because he has taken Barry Jr and Bonnie away from not only her mother, but Kayla herself, and for no reason other than that Vanessa doesn’t like Maria.

And Barry, in his adult, 29-year-old wisdom, being mature and manly and all of that, tells his baby sister, 15, over the phone “You’re dead to me. Lose my number.”

Those exact words.

You’re dead to me. Lose my number. Kayla was broken, and has been crushed ever since.

She had her sweet 16, and was hoping her brother would come. He never showed up. A few days later, she got a generic birthday card in the mail, callously signed “From The Johnsons” (meaning Barry, Vanessa, and the two kids.) She actually got physically sick, and she was so angry she put the card back in the mailbox and had it sent back to them. 

This year, last month, she turned 17. She got no card from them, this time. She got nothing.

When you mention Barry to her, she pretends she doesn’t know who you’re talking about. She frequently comments on how she has no brother.

And yet, this week, she went on a college tour of the same university he graduated from. 

Kayla loves her ADULT brother, and he abandoned her for his stupid fuck of an abusive, manipulative wife.

By the way, Bonnie is 2, and Maria and Kayla have never met her.

I met her, once, when I was being a Disney princess as a birthday party that she was invited to. I had no idea she was their child until Barry came up to me and said hi. I said to him “Tell your mom I said ‘hi’!” and he lied to my face, with a big smile and said “Oh, I will!” 

I’m angry with him, but I also recognize that this is Vanessa and that she’s probably emotionally abusive. I don’t think she hits him, or that he hits her (although, IDK what was up with all those retraining orders and whatnot. Could’ve just been a manipulation tactic, considering they stopped after she got the ring.) I do think she’s emotionally abusive and manipulative. I don’t care if my spouse didn’t get along with my parents; NOBODY would stop me from seeing my family, and certainly would not keep me from letting MY KIDS see THEIR GRANDPARENTS, AUNTS, AND UNCLES. 

The only thing that would keep my kids from seeing their grandparents is if I knew those grandparents were abusing them. And I know for a fact that Maria isn’t abusive, because she took care of me as a small child. I ate, slept, bathed at her house. She is the sweetest woman, barely even yells. She doesn’t hit her kids. She cooks healthy meals and provides treats. She’s jovial and fun and a joy to be around.

I would say you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, except I’d been behind their closed doors so much, I practically lived there. 

So, for Barry to pull away from Maria, based mostly on the fact that Maria and Vanessa don’t get along, is nuts, to me. I wish I WOULD abandon my mother for my wife. That sounds crazytown, to me. But even if I did...

I would never, in a million years, tell my 15-year-old baby sister “you’re dead to me. Lose my number.”

It doesn’t even make sense to say that to someone. Someone who looked up to you, and followed you around, and loved you unconditionally. Kayla worshipped Barry. He was everything, to her, when she was small. 

I don’t actually have a moral, or a conclusion... I’m just really angry that he’s done this to her. To his baby sister. It’s bad enough to do it to your mom, but your BABY SISTER?

I haven’t seen Barry since I learned all of this was happening (when I saw him at that birthday party, Maria hadn’t told me any of this was going down. Bonnie was maybe a year old, or just about to be a year old. Maria never disparages Barry around me, and still talks about him fondly. The poor woman loves that doofus, asshole piece of shit.) If I see him again before he reconciles with his family, I’m pretty sure I’ma cuss his ass out.

I’ve just been wanting to vent about it for the past year or so. 

I actually learned all of this was happening BECAUSE I saw Barry, Vanessa, and Bonnie at that birthday party. It was last summer, I think. I told my mom that I saw Bonnie at the party and she’s adorable, and she told me I had seen her before Maria had. Then, when I talked to Maria, she told me that Barry wasn’t letting her see the kids. I didn’t know what happened between Barry and Kayla until my mom told me after Maria had vented to her about it. Maria doesn’t know what to do, but she wants her son back, most of all.

Kayla, I think, is the most hurt by it. Her, and Barry Jr., who is maybe 6 or 7 and misses his granny and auntie, because he remembers being with them. Barry even lied to him that Maria moved away and that’s why he doesn’t see her, anymore. It’s all very sick, and Barry needs help, and Vanessa is a demon.

IDK. What do y’all think?