#they work to rebuild this house whenever it gets destroyed and the same goes for them as people

[coffeeisfortheresponsible]

listen i know this is like. definitely not true but ykw idc. headcanon that wu and garmadon helped build the monastery as kids

[amintyworld]

My Official Dream SMPsona: Flower

(I heard some of you guys wanted to see this, and this was pretty fun to make. Ask box is open, I’d love to talk about her more. I’ll have to work at drawing her later this week, so be on the lookout for that! Anyway, hope you enjoy! - Minty)

------------------------------

Name: Flower

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight Demisexual

Joined: September 22, 2020

Current Cannon Lives: 2/3

Alignment: Neutral Good

Fighting: Only skilled with a bow/crossbow, otherwise is absolutely terrible at PVP.

Look: Short brown hair, dark blue eyes, pale skin, black framed glasses, dark blue sweatshirt with black leggings and blue sneakers. Either wearing a light pink flower crown or a random flower in her hair.

-------------------------------

Quotes:

“I am NOT weak! Don’t you ever DARE call me weak!”

“You know what they say, Tubbo: Tomorrow is always another day, and it’ll probably be a better one.”

“I help because… because… because I want to. I need to. So many people are hurting, and I… I just didn’t want to add to that. If so much bad happened, we need a little good to balance, don’t we?”

“My name is Flower and I speak for the trees!”

“These are my cat babies, hurt them and you die.”

“STOP! Just… just stop, stop it please, I...I dunno what to choose, I don’t… I don’t want to choose, don’t MAKE me choose!”

“You deserve a grave, Ghostbur. Everyone deserves to be remembered, no matter what. It’s not about what they did while they were alive, they were people. They deserve to be remembered as a person. A person who tried.”

“You know Philza Minecraft, you’re pretty cool.”

-----------------------------------

Fun Facts / Headcanons:

Extremely Indecisive, especially when it comes to joining a group because she doesn’t want to hurt any of her friends. She always wants to make the right decision, but as the choices turn more grey she can get stressed and put pressure on herself, always worried about doing something wrong that sometimes she’ll go into a full panic attack. This can lead to frustration when she seems to just be helping all of them instead of just choosing one.

Always ready to help and lend materials to others whenever they need.

Has a cat named Rose and another named Lavender, is self-proclaimed ‘Cat-Mom’.

Loves giving gifts to anyone at any time for whatever reason - she loves making others happy, as well as giving others something to remember her by when she’s gone.

Made the land around her house a nature preserve and went to court over the matter when someone chopped down her birch tree.

Has a book full of inspirational quotes that she sometimes uses in conversation.

Is often called “weak” for her PvP skills by Schlatt, Dream, and a few times even Techno, which got under her skin all too quickly, leading her to desperately try to constantly prove them wrong, getting angry and upset when it doesn’t work. This leads to many of them picking on her and pushing her around since she can’t exactly fight back.

Always sees the good in everyone, even some of the darkest villains, which many say is naive. She sees people like Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream - as people hurting and in need of help. Of course, she doesn’t try to excuse what they’ve done, but she doesn’t like when people call them evil or monsters, because to her they’re not. Everyone has good inside of them, they’ve just lost that part of themselves, even ignoring it.

She lives by the golden rule and didn’t like when people celebrated Schlatt’s death or Tommy’s and made no gravestone for Wilbur. Treat people the way you want to be treated - do you want people to celebrate your death, or to never memorialize you or even give you a proper burial?

When her friends and allies turn against her, she’s never mad at them. Just disappointed in what they let themselves become, and holds no ill-will toward any of them.

After the Manburg v Pogtopia War, seeing all the heartbreak, destruction, and hurt that was caused she committed herself to spread a bit of happiness around, to bring it all back to balance and help people recover - planting flowers around New L’manburg, helping Phil settle in as well as helping to rebuild.

She grows closer with Phil and Tubbo during this time - Phil appreciated her kind spirit and help, which he said he’d repay tenfold, and Tubbo liked her support and help to rebuild, especially when he was forced to exile Tommy, she reminded her Dream put them in a tough spot, that there wasn’t much of a choice.

She turned her protected lands into a healing garden and invited any who needed it to visit - she added a bench swing and a small pond.

She once followed Phil to find Techno, and the two panicked, Technoblade almost killing her before Phil stepped in, vouching for her. She promised not to say anything if it would put them more at ease. When questioned by Technoblade on her intentions, her answer was pretty simple: “Look, I don’t really understand why you did what you did. You hurt a lot of people and caused a lot of pain. But I don’t feel like it’s my place to judge you, I don’t know the story and I don’t think it’s my story to know. I’m glad you’re okay, Technoblade.”

When she goes against the Butcher Army, Quackity pushes her around, asking what she thinks she’s going to do against four people with netherite armor and axes. She tries to fight but as always she gets beat up pretty badly. Finally, she just turns to look at Tubbo. “Look at what you’re doing, Tubbo. Please, this isn’t the way.” When they go toward Phil, she steps in front to protect him as the tensions rise and she loses a cannon life by Quackity after he gets so mad at her protests he snaps and gets rid of her.

After he escapes she goes to meet Technoblade in secret, asking for training. She realized that if she was going to do any good, she needed to get stronger. They make a deal for him to train her, but in return, she’ll have to be his eyes in New L’manburg in order to help out Phil. She agrees.

She continues to train as the days pass and eventually she helps Phil escape and get back to the safety of Techno’s house. The training continues when Techno has the time.

When both her teacher and her close friend side with Dream to destroy her home, she tells them that she won’t stop them or betray them, but she needed to protect her home, that her friends needed her. When Technoblade insisted that this was a betrayal, she reminded him that it wasn’t, that for the longest time she supported him and helped him even though she didn’t always agree with him, and now she’s asking that he does the same. She gives them some gapples and a couple of potions. “I’ll see you both on the other side. I’m sorry. Just… be careful, and do what you have to do.”

She moves her stuff just in case, knowing her friends, and cries with the others over the destruction of her home. When Phil finds her after, wanting to talk after his interaction with Ghostbur, she tells him that it isn’t the best time right now, trying to force a smile. “Hey, look - I’m happy for you, Phil. I’m happy that you succeeded, I just need a bit more than a minute, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow.”

She gives both Tubbo and Tommy on the Final Confrontation Day each a cookie and wishes them the best of luck, and was there, willing to risk another life to protect Tommy and Tubbo and stop Dream from causing more hurt and destruction than he already has.

[the-hidden-writer]

Lucidity

A WandaVision oneshot (SPOILERS!) Words: 1,623

Summary: When White Vision leaves WestView and discovers that Tony Stark is dead, he starts to realise that he is very different to who he used to be, but isn't sure how.

Read on AO3! (check reblog for link)

Lucidity

He is Vision.

That was the one clear thought in his mind. It pierced through the stitches of the (now unfamiliar) mismatched coding, giving him clarity and yet confusing him at the same time. The overwhelming instinct to destroy The Vision and Wanda Maximoff slowly began to recede, leaving behind only the memory of an order and a small urge to comply.

It would be wrong to terminate Wanda Maximoff, would it not? He recalled telling her that he loved her. Loved ones do not harm each other, do they?

(“I love you,” he grits out, as her magic finally manages to penetrate the stone. The tiny sliver or relief overpowers the immense agony he is in and he releases the breath he has been holding, drinking in her features one last time before squeezing his eyes shut to embrace his fate. The last thing he knows is pain beyond imagination as she destroys all that he is.)

Or perhaps they do, depending on the circumstances. He felt like he should know the answer. He did not.

As the last of his new programming was broken apart, the order itself did not leave him.

Terminate Wanda Maximoff. Neutralise The Vision.

But he was The Vision. So… he must destroy himself, correct? That was the logical thing to do. So then why was he feeling hesitant to do so?

He flew straight upwards to set about to accomplish this, surpassing the strange red barrier of Wanda’s creation until he was far above it. Since the sky was clear that day, from his perspective he could see that it was hexagonal. He then angled his body so that he was upside down, decreased his density to more closely match that of a human’s, and let gravity do the work.

Eyes closed, he started to fall.

(“Mr Stark, there is something I have been meaning to ask of you.” Tony turns to him in surprise, but that surprise quickly morphs into that odd, warm expression he wears whenever he talks to him. He tells him to continue, so he does. “I have discovered that… that you and Dr Banner have programmed me in such a way that I am unable to bring harm to myself.” Tony’s eyes widen and there is an unspoken question which he does not answer. “I was wondering if you could change that. If I were to be corrupted in some way, I want to be able to stop myself before I hurt others.” The reasons he goes on to detail are perfectly logical, but he does not understand the heartbreak written on Tony’s face.)

He stops himself just as he is about to enter Wanda’s domain.

Life review is a phenomenon encountered by those having a near-death experience where it is said that their life “flashes before their eyes”. Not once did Vision ever think he himself would experience it. He did not when he was being killed by Wanda, he did not when he was being killed by Thanos. So it stands to reason that he should not in this situation, either. And yet he did.

Countless vague memories of Tony Stark. Much clearer memories of the destruction of Ultron and Sokovia. Of stolen moments with Wanda Maximoff. Of the mind stone communicating with him. Of Thanos.

He no longer had the mind stone. Wanda Maximoff was somewhere beneath him that very moment, appearing to fight a witch. The last he saw of Tony Stark was when he was on a news broadcast somewhere in New York. The last he saw of Thanos was when his hand was clawing through his skull in Wakanda.

He tried to access the Internet to find their whereabouts, but rather jarringly realised that he was completely cut-off. Unlike his memories that had simply been blocked from him, connecting to the Internet was now something he was physically unable to do.

He grimaced. That could prove to be a problem.

A problem that Tony Stark could fix. As the world appeared to be in no immediate danger, he could only assume that Thanos was not currently a threat. Once his disarranged mind had been mended, he would then go to Wakanda to assess the situation. Until then, he had to find Tony Stark.

Being restricted from using the Internet felt akin to the loss of a limb, which is why it took him a few moments to search through his memories and decide that the most rational place to start looking would be the Avengers Compound.

(“I never thought I would share a house with Tony Stark.” Wanda tells him after he asks her if there is a difference between a house and a home. “But I’ve always thought of a house as just where you live. A home is the people and memories attached to it.” He is still confused. He supposes that the Avengers Compound is his house, but is it truly his home if he has never lived anywhere else? Wanda seems to sense his doubt, as she always does, and she takes his hand comfortingly. “Vision… I think this our home now.”)

And so he began his flight, as fast as could, to New York.

~-.-~

The Compound had been destroyed.

Where the New Avengers Facility had once been were acres of flattened forest. From where he was hovering, he could see the teems of teams of people, all hard at work completing various tasks. Some were clearing the remainder of rubble, others were attempting to rebuild the facility from the nothing that was left, and, perhaps the most curiously, in the middle of it all there was a large group of journalists surrounding a small monument.

What had happened?

Unlike the rest of the facility, that mysterious monument was the only thing that appeared to be fully built. In an attempt to better understand the situation, Vision moved closer and partially phased into a tree to privately see it more clearly.

He waited for the crowds to move in such a way that he would be able to see what was written on the metal pillar, and when he could finally read it he felt his whole body tense.

(“Listen V, it’s my will and I get to decide who’s on it. Clue’s in the name.” He tries to argue but Tony interrupts him. “Nope, not gonna hear any of your ‘ohh but I’m not human’ bullshit. I had JARVIS down to inherit a bunch of stuff before this, and- yes, I know you’re not him, this is just to prove a point.” He listens in silence, still disagreeing with Tony’s decision. The man’s voice takes on a solemn tone. “I want you to have this much because believe it or not you’re like a son to me, Vision.” All of a sudden, all of his questions regarding his and Mr Stark’s relationship are cleared up. Having Tony say it himself helps it all make sense. Their bond had grown to be more than just inventor and creation. It was that of a father and son. “And I’m gonna treat you like one, even on my will, alright?”)

Tony Stark was dead. Anthony Edward Stark was… dead. If the words on the plaque of red and gold were to be believed, he sacrificed himself to save the universe on October 17th, 2023.

2023? He had lost 5 years?

Vision had felt different since the moment he was rebooted. It was not an unpleasant feeling. Just… different. And that difference had not been more noticeable to him than it was in that moment.

This was because a part of him (the JARVIS part of him) was stunned with disbelief. Then that disbelief was gradually replaced with other sensations. It was as if the voice in his head (he was uncertain if the voice belonged to him or JARVIS) was screaming in the confusion of what could have happened, the guilt of not being there to prevent it and protect him, and the overwhelming grief of losing the closest thing he had to a family member. His father. Sir.

But that’s all it was: a voice in his head. Outwardly…

He felt nothing.

He absentmindedly wondered if that should worry him.

With the knowledge that Tony Stark was dead and therefore could not help him, Vision decided to find someone who could. As far as he knew, Dr Banner was still missing and he was strangely hesitant to seek out the help of Shuri. So perhaps he could attempt to help himself?

No, stay! Stay and ask these people what happened! Ask if they need help! Find the other Avengers! Find out how Mr Stark died!

He left New York.

He had the memories of who he had been. He was not the same. Using those differences he could try and piece together an explanation. The world did not need saving at present, which meant that Thanos had most likely been defeated. And as Vision had nobody and now nowhere to go to, he would just have to wait until the world needed him.

(“Just so we’re absolutely clear,” the man says, “you are to terminate Wanda Maximoff and neutralize The Vision by any means necessary. She’ll be powerful, so be careful. And The Vision will match you for every move you make. After that, you report back to me and wait for your next orders, understood?”

“Understood.” He affirms, and for the smallest of moments his voice sounds wrong.)

Yes, he will wait. He will be useful again. They will need him- who? Humanity or those that weaponised him? Who was the old Vision loyal to? Is he truly Vision anymore? Why doesn’t he care?- and until they do… he will wait.

[qqueenofhades]

Question for you. When you have time. And if you want. I know things are busy for you. What do you mean by end stage capitalism? Thanks.

Aha. I am sorry that this has been sitting in my inbox for a while, since I’ve been busy and doing stressful things and not sure how to answer this in a way that wouldn’t immediately turn into a pages-long rant. Nothing to do with you, of course, but just because I have 800 things to say on this topic, none of them complimentary, which I’ll try to condense down briefly. Ish.

In sum, end-stage capitalism is at the root of everything that’s wrong with the world today, more or less. It’s the state of being that exists when the economic system of capitalism, i.e. the exchange of money for goods and services, has become so runaway, so unregulated, so elevated to the level of unchallengeable dogma in the Western world (especially after the Cold War and decades of hysteria about the “scourge of communism”) and so embedded on every level of the social and political fabric that it is no longer sustainable but also can’t be destroyed without taking everything else down. Nobody wants to be the actual generation that lives through the fall of capitalism, because it’s going to be cataclysmic on every level, but also… we can’t go on like this. So that’s a fun paradox. The current world order is so drastically, unimaginably, ridiculously and wildly unequal, privileging the tiny elite of the ultra-rich over the rest of the planet, because of hypercapitalism. This really got going in the early 1980s when Ronald Reagan, still generally worshiped as a political hero on both the left and right sides of the American political establishment (even liberals tiptoe around criticizing Saint Ronnie), set into motion a program of slashing business and environment regulations, reducing or eliminating taxes on the super wealthy, and introducing the concept of “trickle-down” or “supply-side” economics. In short, the principle holds that if you make it as easy as possible for rich people to become EVEN MORE RICH, and remove all irksome regulations or restrictions on the Church of the Free Market, they will benevolently redistribute this largess to the little people. To say the very least, this….does not happen. Ever.

Since the 1980s, in short, we have had thirty years of unrestricted, runaway capitalism that eventually propelled us into the financial crisis of 2008, after multiple smaller crises, where the full extent of this philosophy became apparent…. and nobody really did anything about it. You can google statistics about how the price of everything has skyrocketed since about the 1970s, when you could put yourself through college on one part-time job, graduate with no student debt, and be assured of a job for the next 30 years, and how baby boomers (who are responsible for wrecking the economy) insist that millennials are “just lazy” or “killing [insert x industry]”. This is because we have NO GODDAMN MONEY, graduate thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt (if we can even afford college in the first place), are lucky if we find a job that pays us more than $10 an hour, and often have to string together several part-time and frangible jobs that offer absolutely nothing in the way of security, benefits, or long-term saving potential. This is why millennials at large don’t have kids, buy houses, or have any savings (or any of the traditional “adult” milestones). We just don’t have the money for it.

Even more, capitalism has taken over our mindsets to the point where it is, as I said, at the root of everything that’s wrong with the world. Climate change? Won’t be fixed because the ruling classes are making money from the current system, and if you really want to give yourself an aneurysm, google the profiteers who can’t wait for the environment/society to collapse because they’ll make MORE money off it. This is known as “disaster capitalism” and is what the US has done to other countries for decades. (I also recommend The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein.) This obviously directly contributes to the War on Terror, the current global instability, the reason Dick Cheney, Halliburton, Blackwater, and other private-security contractors made a mint from blowing up Iraq and paying themselves to rebuild it, and then the resultant rise of al-Qaeda, ISIS, and other extremist reactionary groups. The bombing produces (often brown and Muslim) refugees and immigrants, Western countries won’t take them in, right-wing politicians make hay out of Threats To Our Way of Life ™, and the circle goes on. Gun control? Can’t happen because a) American white supremacy is too deeply tied to its paranoid right to have as many guns as it wants and to destroy the Other at any time, and b) the NRA pays senators by the gigabucks to make sure it doesn’t. (And we all know what an absolute goddamn CLUSTERFUCK the topic of big money and American politics is in the first place. It’s just… a nightmare in every direction.)

Meanwhile, end-stage capitalism has also systematically assigned value to society and to individuals depending entirely on their prospects for monetization. Someone who can’t work, or who doesn’t work the “right” job, is thus assigned less value as a human (see all the right-wing screaming about people who “don’t deserve” to have any kind of social and financial assistance or subsidized food and medicine if they won’t “help themselves”). This is how we get to situations where we have the ads that I kept seeing in London the other month: apps where you could share your leftover food, or rent out your own car, or collectively rent an apartment, or whatever else. Because apparently if you live in London in 2019, there is no expectation that you will be able to have your own food, car, or apartment. You have to crowdsource it. (See also: people having to beg strangers on the internet for money for food or medical bills, and strangers on the internet doing more to help that person than the whole system and/or the person’s employment or living situation.) There is nothing inherently wrong with capitalism as an economic theory. Exchanging money for goods and services is understandable and it works. But when it has run out of control to this degree, when the people who suffer the most under it fiercely defend it (see the working-class white people absolutely convinced that the reason for their problems is Those Damn Job Stealing Immigrants), when it only works for the interests of a few uber-privileged few and is actively killing everyone else… yeah.

Let’s put it this way. You will likely have heard of the two fatal crashes of Boeing 737 Max airplanes in recent months: the Lion Air crash in October 2018 and the Ethiopian Airlines crash in March 2019. Together, they killed 346 people. After these crashes, it turned out that the same malfunctioning system was responsible for both, and that Boeing had known of the problem before the Max went on the market. But because they needed to make (even more) money and compete with their rivals, Airbus, they had sent the planes ahead anyway, with unclear and confusing instruction to pilots about how to deal with it, and generally not acknowledging the problem and insisting (as they still do) that the plane was safe, even though it’s been grounded worldwide since March. There are also concerns that the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is too deep in Boeing’s pocket to provide an impartial ruling (and America was the last country to ground the plane), and other countries’ aviation safety bodies have announced that they aren’t just going to take the FAA’s word for it whenever they decide that the Max is safe. This almost never happens, since usually international regulatory bodies, especially in aviation, will accept each other’s standards. But because of Boeing’s need for Even More Money, they put a plane on the market and into commercial passenger service that they knew had problems, and the FAA essentially let them do that and isn’t entirely trusted to ensure that they won’t do it again. Because…. value for the shareholders. Or something. This is the extreme example of what I mean when I say that end-stage capitalism is actively killing people.

It is also doing so on longer-term and more pernicious everyday levels. See above where people can’t afford their basic expenses even on several jobs, see the insulin price-gouging in the US (and the big pharma efforts in general to make drugs and healthcare as expensive as possible), see the way any kind of welfare or social assistance is framed as “lazy” or “bad” or “socialist,” see the way that people are basically only allowed to survive if they can pay for it, and the way that circle is becoming smaller and smaller. The American public is also fed enduring folk “wisdom” about “money doesn’t buy happiness,” the belief that poverty serves to build character or as an example of virtue, or so on, to make them feel proud of being poor/deprived/that they’re doing a good thing by actively supporting this system that is responsible for their own suffering. And yet for example, the Nordic countries (while obviously having other problems of their own) maintain the Scandinavian welfare model, which pays for college and healthcare, provides for individual stipends/basic income, allows generous leave for parenthood, emphasises a unionised workplace, and otherwise prescribes a mix of capitalism, social democracy, and social mobility. All the Nordic countries rank highly for human development, overall happiness, and other measurements of social success. But especially in America, any suggestion of “socialism” is treated like heresy, and unions are a dirty word. That is changing, but…slowly.

In short: the economic overlords have never done anything to give power, money, or anything at all to the working class without being repeatedly and explicitly forced, they have no good will or desire to treat the poor like humans (see: Amazon) or anything at all that doesn’t increase their already incomprehensible profit margins. The pursuit of more money that cannot possibly be spent in one human lifetime, that is accumulated, used to make laws for itself, and never paid in taxes to fund improvements or services for everyone else, lies at the root of pretty much every problem you can name in the world right now, is deeply, deeply evil, and I do not use that word lightly.

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Serendipity (C.B) | Chapter 8

Summary: Serendipity: (n) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Popular youtuber Isabella Hart, known as Bella to her audience, bends over backwards to separate her youtube life from her private life. Known for her overall clean content and her bubbly attitude, Isabella has a wild side to her that only those inside the youtube community know about. When Bella meets Colby during one of the trap house parties she finally meets someone she can be her genuine self with. When trouble arises after their meeting, will Bella be able to hand the pressure or will she destroy her relationship with Colby as well as herself in the process. [This starts in 2018]

Written: 2019

Word Count: 3,216

Warnings: swearing, mention of sexual abuse

(I  put a **trigger warning** right before the triggering part of the chapter and **trigger warning over** at the end of that part so you can read around it)

Serendipity Masterlist

"Colby, just drop it okay." I finish chopping the potatoes for our lunch and place them in a bowl.

"But Isabella, it's—"

"I don't want to talk about it; not now, not ever. End of discussion. Now either help me cook our lunch or get out of my kitchen." Colby sighs before leaving. It's probably better for him to not be around me while I'm holding a knife.

Colby came over to my apartment so we can have a lunch date. I had Colby setting up the living room when my phone went off. He picked it up to bring to me when he saw a message from my mom asking if I would have dinner with her and my brothers. When he brought it up I immediately shot it down which sparked the current argument. In our five months of dating, I haven't talked about my family, and frankly, I don't want to. Thinking about it now, I feel bad. Colby and his family are close and he doesn't understand my family problems because I haven't told him. Whenever he asks I just give vague answers.

I sigh and dry my hands on my apron before walking into the living room where Colby is still setting up. He's busy fixing blankets around my couches, which he pushed together, to notice that I walked in.

"Look, I'm sorry for snapping. Things with my family are complicated and it's better if I don't go." Colby stops and turns around.

"Well, what if I went with you?" I stare at Colby for a second. I never wanted to Colby to meet my parents. Not because I'm ashamed of him, but because I'm ashamed of them and I don't want him to know how messed up I really am.

"I'll talk to my mom and I'll think about it. But I don't think it's a good idea."

"If it's as bad as you think it'll be then we can bail. I'll fake a medical emergency." Colby fakes a heart attack and falls backward in the couch bed he made. I roll my eyes and open my phone to the message my mom sent me.

"Calm down before you actually hurt yourself. Come help me in the kitchen when you're done in here." I respond to my mom asking for more details before walking back to finished cooking. While I work on the burgers and fries I instruct Colby to make the milkshakes. Eventually, I stopped him before he poured too much milk and made him wash the dishes and set out the special trays.

"Did you go out and buy these cups and trays to make it look like we were actually eating at a diner?" Colby asks as he puts together his burger.

"Of course, I did it because I'm extra and for the aesthetic. You should have known what you were getting into when you asked me to be your girlfriend." I put the pot and pan in the sink and go plate out food.

"Is it too late to take that back?" I fake gasp and smack Colby's arm.

"I'm kidding!" He yells as he picks up our food and takes it to the living room. I pick up our shakes and follow him.

"We're going on Friday by the way." I don't let Colby respond and press play on the movie he chose.

****

Maybe this was a bad idea. Right now I'm sat in the passenger seat of my own car, staring at the house I grew up in. I haven't been here since I ran away last year. I feel like I'm asleep, unable to move and the house is a sleep paralysis demon waiting to swallow me up. I talked to my mother and she told me that it was safe. That it would only be her and my brothers. That she and my father separated a few months ago and in the process of divorce. That she wanted to apologize in person and rebuild our relationship. Despite those reassurances, part of me is still terrified to go back.

I asked Colby to drive because I'm too nervous to get behind the wheel. I told him that we were using my car because I didn't want to trust his car as an escape method. With my luck, his car would break down when I needed to leave.

I eventually muster up the courage to get out of the car. My heart pounds as Colby and I stand at the front door waiting for someone to open it. The door opens to reveal one of my brothers.

"Benji, hey, it's so good to see you! Benji, this is my boyfriend, Colby Brock. Colby, this is my second oldest brother, Benjamin." Colby and Benji shake hands and introduce themselves to each other. I walk further into the house and run into my oldest brother.

"Hey Joey, meet Colby. Colbs, meet the oldest of all three Hart kids." I let Joey and Colby introduce themselves and I go to give Benji a hug. In all honesty, Benji is the only person I missed in the whole family, besides my grandmother. I look around the house and not much has changed. All the pictures that had my father are gone.

"Mom is in the kitchen cooking." He tells me. I nod and grab Colby's hand and lead him to the kitchen.

We get to the kitchen and I look at my mother as she prepares what smells like her famous spaghetti. I can't help but have a small smile. It's almost like walking into the past. She stops cooking and turns around and sees me. She smiles big and engulfs me in a hug. I awkwardly hug her back. All of this feels foreign; mom cooking happily in the kitchen and her giving me affection. The last time any of that happened was when I was 14.

"Hi mom, this is Colby. Colby, meet my mother." I managed to wiggle out of her grip. Colby goes in for a handshake but my mother traps him in a hug as well.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Hart, you have a lovely home." She lets go of Colby and looks him up and down with a grin.

"You found yourself a good one. Nice to meet you too. Both of you should go sit in the living room. I'll be there in a second." She pushes us out of the kitchen and back into the living room where my brothers are talking. Colby and I join them on the couch.

"So Joey, where's Danielle?" I ask to make conversation.

"She at our firm working on a career-changing case that I had to miss out on because mom insisted that I was her for the prodigal daughter's return feast." He has on the same 'you ruined my life' look that he's had on his face probably since the day he found out he was going to have a little sister.

"Hey, maybe when Benji is done with medical school you can have him surgically remove the stick that is wedged so far up your ass?"

"Isabella..."

"Joseph..."

"So, Colby, what do you do?" Benji quickly changes the conversation. If I didn't know any better I would think that Benji is the oldest.

"Same as Isabella, I make youtube videos for a living. I have a duo channel with my best friend from Kansas where we do a lot of exploration videos and haunted videos. On my main channel, I post more a bunch of random things." I like seeing the twinkle in Colby's eye when he talks about his job.

The conversation keeps going on between the four of us as my mom brings out a tray with drinks and appetizers. She sets them down on the coffee table and joins us.

"Isabella, what are you doing now?" My mother asks.

"Well, like Colby said earlier, I'm still making videos. I travel quite a bit for work. But I'm mostly in school right now. I'm double majoring in English and business management and triple minoring in finance, dance, and music. I have scholarships and grants that pay for most of my tuition. I cover the rest with my youtube and art money. I have my own little side business where I sell my art as well." I kind of wanted to show my mom how well I'm doing without her. To brag that I'm fine on my own.

"She's always busy, we had to work in time for us to spend time together in our schedules," Colby adds. He intertwined his fingers in mine.

"Colby is always traveling for work and is equally as busy. Half of our dates are just us working in the same room together when we can. Perks of working in the same industry as the person you're seeing. You get it, right Joey?" Joey just nods and sips his drink.

We have a conversation for a little bit longer before my mother disappeared into the kitchen. I follow her in to help. Colby seems to be getting along just fine with my brothers.

I help my mom prepare the salad and placing the food into fancy serving dishes. We work together in silence like old times.

"Isabella, I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you all those years. I should have listened and believed you. I chose my husband over my children and I treated you poorly because of it. I was wondering if we could start over?" I stop pouring the meat sauce into the bowl and scan my mom's face. Part of me doesn't trust her. Another part of me wants to.

"We can try, but it's going to take a while for things to feel normal to me." I finish pouring the meat sauce and put the dirty dishes in the sink.

"I'm happy to hear that. Why don't you go wash up and I'll have the boys help me set the table." I nod my head and walk upstairs to the bathroom. I could use the one downstairs but I want to see my old room.

I quickly wash my hands and go to the end of the hallway where my room was. I open the door to find it almost exactly how I left it. The walls are still pink with purple butterflies. When I moved out I took all of my clothes and everything of importance. I took all my old art and pictures and put them in the box. To be honest, the only things I left were my furniture and the tv. I took off all the bedding and folded it nicely on my bed with a note explaining why I left. The bed is made with my old bedding. My dresser has little broken things that I didn't even bother consider taking. My closet is empty except for the stuffed animals that I couldn't take with me. I find my old beat up Piglet plushie. It's not even bright pink anymore. He's faded and dirty. You can see all the places where my mom had to repair him.

"You used to take that thing everywhere you went." My blood freezes at the sound of the voice. Hearing that voice, in this room especially, after so long still scares me. I don't want to turn around but I do anyway.

"D-dad? What are you..." Tears well up in my eyes when I see his face. It takes me a second to register what is going on.

"Did you miss me? I missed you, princess." He walks closer and strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. I drop Piglet and push his hand away. I run past him and head straight downstairs.

"Colby, we're leaving!" I grab my jacket and bag from the couch.

"Why, what happened?" Colby comes out of the dining room and grabs his jacket questioningly. I told him earlier that when I said we're leaving, we're leaving.

"I'll talk about it later, but I can't be in this house anymore." Colby studies my face and grabs my hand.

"What's going on?" My mom comes out of the dining room and innocently looks at Colby and I. It makes me sick.

I keep my distance and look at my mom in the eyes.

"I should be asking you that. You lied. You said that he wasn't here, but I ran into him upstairs. Why did you lie? Why have this whole charade?" My fists are balled up in anger but I keep looking back at the stairs in terror.

"I knew you wouldn't come unless I told you he was out of the house."

"So you lied? Why? Why did you want me to come over?"

She uncomfortably looks around the room. She looks at anything that isn't me. Finally, her wandering eyes land on me. They're as cold and heartless as I remember. This is the versos of my mom that I remember. The version she has been since I was 14.

"We're struggling a bit financially. Your brothers are helping out a bit but it's not enough. I was going to ask you for money." She doesn't break her eye contact with me.

"Un-fucking-believable. I would help you, but after everything, I can't. Let's go Colby." Colby and I walk back to my car and leave.

****

Except for the music, the ride is quiet. Colby doesn't push for details, he lets me be alone with my thoughts and I'm thankful for that. I stare out the window so Colby doesn't see me crying, but I know that he knows I am. He holds my hands as he drives, only letting go when he needs both hands but immediately puts it back when he's done. I watch as all the familiar buildings that I grew up around pass me by in a blur like they did the day I left.

Colby stops the car in a Panera Bread parking lot. I know Panera isn't Colby's favorite place in the world, it's mine. But I think he brought me here to try to cheer me up. I don't think this a problem that Panera can fix. But I sit up and clean my face before joining Colby. When we get inside Colby orders our food, I get the same thing every time we eat here so he knows my order by heart. When I was messing around on his phone a few days ago I found a little notes file that had what I get from every place we eat at. He's too good to me. Who am I kidding? He's too good for me.

Colby finds us a little table away from everyone and leaves me alone to get your drinks. I stopped crying but every inch of me wants to. Colby comes back and places a lemonade in front of me. He holds my hand but doesn't force me to talk.

"I'm sorry for pushing you to go to your mom's house. I didn't know how bad it was." Colby says.

"It's not your fault my parents are horrible people. I should have known my mom wouldn't change. I'm sorry for dragging you into the family drama."

"You know what? Forget your family. I'm your family now. And the trap house too."

"You can't date me and be my family. That's a bit like incest in a way."

"Well, I am from Kansas." I can't help but laugh at Colby's joke.

"Ah, there it is. There's the smile I know and love." Colby smiles at me and makes me blush.

"Okay you dork, I get it." I like him so much it hurts.

"Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to if you don't want to." I look down for a second. I've never told anyone this. If I tell Colby, that could change things.

**TRIGGER WARNING**

"No, it's fine. I should talk about it. I just won't go too into details. For as long as I could remember, my dad would... do things to me and make me return the favor. It's got significantly worse when I hit puberty. He would always tell me that nobody would believe me and that if I told my brothers and I would get taken away and things would be worse for all three of us. I believed him so I kept quiet about it. Until I was 14, two years after things escalated. I told my mom but she didn't believe me. She got the entire family to turn against me. My mom accused me of lying to ruin our family's reputation. I was treated like a pariah at family gatherings. I would just stay in my room or go out. My grandmother, bless her heart, believed me but she was too old to take me in or do anything to stop it. So when she died she left me all of her money. Which made everyone on my mom's side of the family hate me more. Everything she had was given to me and if it could be sold she arranged for that to happen and the money given to me. The only thing was that I had to be 18. I knew that I had to get out of that house. So when I turned 16 I got as many part-time jobs as I could while getting paid a little bit from youtube. I save up to move out and on the morning of my 18th birthday, I left. I hadn't been back until today."

**TRIGGER WARNING OVER**

"I would have never guessed..."

"Yeah. That would also explain the whole party girl slut thing I have going for me. That started when I was 16 and first started getting popular on YouTube. It was a distraction and a way to numb everything. I was a real train wreck before I met you. I calmed down a bit. If you had met me a few months before then this, our relationship, would probably not even be a thing. I might have just hooked up with you and severed all ties. That's how bad I was." Our conversation pauses for a moment as the server brings our food.

"That's a lot of heavy shit that you kept bottled up. I understand why you didn't tell me before. Just so you know, none of what you just told me is going to change the way I feel about you. What happened to you doesn't make you a horrible person. You didn't deserve it and they deserve all the bad karma that they're going to get. You know what? You amaze me. Even when you were in that shitty situation you managed to spread nothing but positivity on your channel."

"Don't worry, there are a lot of depressing journal entries that disprove that statement. Anyway, now you know everything that you need to know about me." Colby places his hand on mine.

"I'm glad you're feeling comfortable enough to open up to me."

And like that, everything in our world was fine again. In fact, things were even better. Not just with Colby but every aspect of my life was improved. I wasn't carrying the unnecessary weight of my family drama on my shoulders anymore.

[nukagalreacts]

For the Anonymous who requested companions reacting to a Sole who loves to collect flowers!!

(Had a lot of fun typing this up, sorry it’s a little late! Hope you enjoy and yes I purposely left Gage out of this one) 

Hancock: Thinks it’s a cute and interesting quirk that Sole adores decorating the state house with flowers and wearing them in their hair all the time. Honestly it makes for a fun time to be high and look at all the bright colors swirling in and out around him. Sole even tells him stories about how they use to own a little flower shop that was once their pride and joy. He ask them about it all the time because he loves seeing them smile and enjoy the memories of happier times. His favorite part though was when they would both get really high and Sole would end up making tons of flower accessories from flower crowns, necklaces and even belts, which Hancock lost his mind at and gave Sole a big smooch.

Dogmeat: At first the sweet pooch doesn’t understand what Sole is doing when she starts picking flowers and he thinks the flowers are for him to eat. He playfully leaps around Sole barking and trying to bite the flowers while Sole just laughs holding the flowers out of reach gently telling Dogmeat these aren’t for him. Dogmeat whines a little and pouts while he spends the rest of the time watching his master collect the flowers. He gets excited again when a while later Sole walks towards him smiling and holding something in their hands, he wags his tail happily and sits up patiently waiting. Sole is saying something and then placing a flower crown around Dogmeats ears. Dogmeat has no idea what just happened but Sole is gushing over him and giving him lot’s of pets which makes him the happiest good boy ever!

Strong: Literally destroys all of the flowers and makes Sole pretty upset! Sole tries to calmly explain to Strong that this is a hobby of there’s and they would really appreciate it if Strong would stop smashing all of the flowers! The super mutant doesn’t understand why Sole enjoys something so weak that disintegrates so easily in his fist. Sole at one point attempts to put a flower crown on Strongs head but he refuses to wear it saying it makes him look puny and weak. Sole opts for keeping Strong as far away as possible from any of their flowers.

Codsworth: Was happy to assist his master in this hobby of theirs since he already helped them frequently all those years ago. The Mr.Handy even helped rebuild the greenhouse Sole had kept in the backyard so they could not only grow food but flowers as well. Codsworth would attend to the greenhouse regularly making sure all plants were properly watered and trimmed.The robot was always sure to bring in a fresh bouquet of flowers to add to the many vases Sole kept around the house. When Sole made him a flower crown he was over the moon and proudly wore his masters creation where ever he went!

Cait: Doesn’t do soft or delicate things and isn’t sure what to make of Sole’s obsession with collecting flowers at first, except be confused. They would both be walking somewhere and Sole would get all excited running over to a patch of colorful flowers talking about how good they would look inside their house back in Sanctuary. Cait would just roll her eyes and tell Sole they didn’t have time for that kind of crap, which she quickly realized hurt Sole’s feelings. Cait felt really shitty after saying that so she apologized and asked Sole if she could make something for her, which Sole happily obliged. Now Cait proudly sports a fiery red flower crown every time she travels the Commonwealth with Sole.

Piper: Is super into watching Sole work with flowers, especially when Sole presses and preserves the flowers in pages of a notebook, each one with its name and a description of it. She even had Sole teach her how to do this so she could add to Sole’s collection and use her fancy penmanship! Piper even suggest they should make a business out of selling the flowers because she thinks Diamond city people could use some more pops of color in there lives and homes. Sole is hesitant at first but with encouragement from Piper they decided to give it a shot, and Piper lets them work out of her office. After a few weeks business is surprisingly good with flower crowns being a popular item among the residents.

Nick: Dwells on the old Nick’s memories of how he would bring flowers home to his wife all the time, and how much she loved them always earning him a kiss. The memories are bittersweet and make him a little sad, but with Sole’s love for flowers it makes for happier new memories. He doesn’t mind either when Sole insist on bringing some life into his office and Sole starts putting flowers on every available surface. One day while Sole is putting some flowers into a vase on Ellie’s desk they recall how much they loved it when their old spouse would surprise them with a bouquet of flowers after a day of work. The next evening Sole is surprised with a large bouquet with her name on it waiting on her desk in the detective agency. It earned Nick quit a kiss that he stored as a memory to revisit again and again whenever Sole was away.

Curie(Synth): Really only looks at plants from a medical usefulness perspective, because flowers where not something that was common in the vault. So she is curious and soaks up everything Sole teaches and shows her about flowers, constantly asking questions and wondering how flowers were before the fallout. Her and Sole even make a trip to Greentop Nursery to get tips and tricks on caring for different plants, it’s pretty adorable to see Curie actually take physical notes in a little notebook she carries around. Curie eventually learns that giving someone flowers can be used as a romantic gesture and goes out of her way to bring Sole flowers all the time, making Sole giddy as a school girl.

MacCready: He very much remembers the sentiment of giving flowers to a loved one, when he got the chance he would bring some home to lucy. He loved seeing little similarities between Sole and Lucy and was more than happy to play along with Soles interest in flowers. The only time it got a bit annoying was when he would find flowers wrapped around his sniper rifle before going out on a mission with Sole, later he would find it funny though. Sole even tucked a little flower on to his hat, and Mac would never admit it but he really loved having it and thinks it brings him good luck. What really made his day though was when you suggested sending flowers along with the cure for his son Duncan’s disease, it made him cry to be honest just how sweet Sole was.

Danse: Spent his whole life with the brotherhood it was all power armor, guns, blood, and sweat there was no time for things like flowers! The fact that Sole loved flowers so much but was this rough person who fit right in with the other soldiers baffled him to no end. They would both be in power armor stomping around the Commonwealth and Sole would suddenly bounce off in another direction yelling about needing the flowers they just spotted. Danse would have to remind them they were on a mission and didn’t have time for such nonsense, Sole would give him big puppy dog eyes saying it would only take a second. Danse couldn’t resist and would agree secretly enjoying how happy Sole would get. He even keeps a flower Sole gifted him secretly tucked away in his power armor as a way of always feeling close to Sole.

Deacon: Is with Sole 100% on loving flowers and thinks it’s super cute how Sole always tries to make people happy by giving them flowers all the time. He even helps them completely re-decorate the Railroad HQ with an overwhelming amount of flower prints and live plants and bright colors. It annoys the shit out of most of the other agents but Deacon defends both your actions by telling everyone the benefits of plants in the work environment. It delights Sole to no end that Deacon plays along with this and is even more happier when he agrees to wear matching flower crowns with them! At one point as a prank Deacon dresses up as a green shrub and manges to make half the agents piss themselves as he scares the daylights out of them when they return to HQ.

Preston: Finds your interest in flowers cute and refreshing from the usual stress and violence he has to face everyday along with Sole. He is also happy to see Sole having something that relaxes them from the constant burden of being General of the Minutemen. Whenever Sole isn’t helping the people of the Commonwealth achieve some impossible task they are in the private garden they set up behind the house them and Preston share. Preston even loves helping Sole out with the garden as a nice change of pace from having his laser musket in his hands all the time. His favorite part though is watching Sole give away the flowers they worked so hard to grow to the people who now call Sanctuary home without expecting anything in return except a warm smile.

X6-88: Accepts Sole’s love for flowers because he understands that having hobbies and interest is healthy for humans, and it's his job to make sure Sole is healthy and happy. He would never admit it but he likes following Sole down to the institutes greenhouse area and watching them work among the synths. Sole goes out of their way no matter how busy they are to pop into the greenhouse every day and constantly ask questions about the different plants that they have growing. Sometimes X6 has to come remind Sole that they need to sleep and eat because certain days Sole spends countless hours researching and working not even aware how much time goes by. X6 hates when Sole begs to go out into the Commonwealth to pick flowers themselves, and he reminds them that the Institute has whatever they need. Sole just argues that it’s not the same and keeps asking until he finally gives in and accompanies them on the ridiculous endeavor.

[doomednarrative]

Odd numbered questions

Since you didn’t give me a character, I answered them all for Rhys. (This is really really long so every question after the first is under a read more.)

1. What does their bedroom look like?

Post Helios crashing, all of the Handsome Jack posters have been removed and torn up. I like to think that Rhys has his own room in the Helios remains camp so that he can visit Vaughn and the others whenever he wants to, and I think this room would actually be kinda bare, if only because of the lack of resources available to decorate with. If they’re able to find any paint maybe he’d paint it the Altas colors since he’s now the Atlas CEO, but other than that there’s not much there besides a bed and nightstand and a closet for his clothes. (Later down the line in my vision for post game story, he basically just moves into Vaughn’s room and that’s a bit more decorated.)

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

Rhys is definitely Not the exercise type (despite Vaughn’s best effort to get his twig of a best friend/boyfriend to put on some muscle), but he’s at least taken to going on daily walks when he can either around the camp or outside of it for a bit. Keeps the fresh ideas flowing and at least keeps him on guard.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

It depends on his mental health most days honestly. For appearances alone if he’s got a day full of important CEO duties, he’ll always make the effort to get dressed up and look very presentable for the time that he’s at work. When he gets home tho, if it’s a bad mental health day, that all goes out the door when he steps foot in his room and can decompress. If he’s Really bad mentally, sometimes Vaughn has to step in and remind Rhys to do some things so he doesn’t fall into bad habits permanently.

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

I feel like Rhys is the type who would probably enjoy drawing in his spare time. He doesn’t get to do  it often since he’s a CEO with a lot of duties there and he likes hanging out with his friends a lot, but when he does get to, its more loose doodling and more often than not used as a stress relief. He might have some negative thoughts about wasting time when there’s more important things to do, but he also knows that sometimes he Has to separate himself from his work, both for his own mental health and because Vaughn or Fiona will Make Him take some time off if he won’t do it himself.

9. Makeup?

Considering I headcanon Rhys as trans, I’m gonna say that makeup isn’t really his thing. Though he has been known to wear just a bit of eyeliner from time to time when the mood strikes. (He sucks at applying it tho and asks Fiona to help him whenever he does wear it.)

11. Intellectual pursuits?

After pulling out all his cybernetics on his own and fucking up some stuff internally by doing so, Rhys started collecting as much reading material in any and all forms about cybernetics and how to build and maintain and install them as he could. He’s become a lot more knowledgeable about the topic since having to do so to save his own arm and eye, and he plans to use that knowledge to help out the people of Pandora later on in the future through the use of Atlas tech. (His own cybernetics still aren’t the best because he jury-rigged them in the beginning when he was kinda desperate and not at full mental capacity, and his fine motor control suffers because of this, but he’s constantly working on the tech to improve it. He’s no expert in the field, at least when it comes to self application, but he’s trying his best.)

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

If he had to put a label on it, Rhys would probably say that he’s pansexual, leaning more towards men. In terms of what he thinks in general about orientations though? He really couldn’t give two shits. People are who they are and like who they like and he’s not one to judge for any of that. It’s honestly one of the furthest things from his mind a lot of the time.

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

(This one I actually don’t have an answer for, but when I think of one, I will post it.)

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Rhys has two modes of dress: Fully suited kickass CEO, or oversized shirts with the sleeve possibly ripped off for his cybernetic arm with baggy sweatpants. He’s either at the top of his fashion game or he gives no two shits either way.

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Depends when you’re asking. Pre him and Vaughn getting together, probably about all the shit he regrets with Jack and Helios crashing and all the people he’s killed and horrible things he did in the name of his job on Hyperion. Post him and Vaughn getting together when they start sharing a room and sleeping in the same bed? He tries to focus more on the now, on being lucky that he’s still alive after Jack tried to kill him and that he still has his friends and that they’re here together.

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Honestly, people being nice to him and not calling him a dumbass is his major turn on. Turn offs is a longer list but the top of that list is people degrading him and only seeing him as a klutz and not someone they can take seriously.

23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Rhys is chaotically organized, much to his friends and potential future employee’s dismay. I headcanon him as having ADHD, so some of it definitely comes from that. The other part though comes from the fact that he just has his own ways of doing things that don’t make sense to anyone except him (and sometimes Vaughn.) He’s never lost any important documents or the like, but he’s more prone to losing certain articles of clothing (except for his socks, he’s careful with those) and other more personal items. He can’t count the number of times he’s misplaced his stun baton when he really needed it.

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Married to Vaughn while being a successful CEO for Atlas and actually making decent strides at improving life on Pandora for All it’s inhabitants and basically doing the Opposite of what he would have been doing on Helios if he were still there.

27. What is their biggest regret?

He has a Lot of regrets that plague his conscious constantly for a long time, but plugging that goddamn ID Drive of Nakayama’s into his data port is one of the Biggest ones. So much shit wouldn’t have happened if he had never done that and hadn’t let Jack get deep into his systems.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Rhys is the one who runs around screaming (most times) until someone gives him instructions on what to do. He does have times though if he’s able to be level headed enough that he can make a solid plan to solve the problem as well.

31. Most prized possession?

The ECHOeye implant where Jack’s AI is held captive. (if you had him keep it and not destroy it that is, which I did.) It’s not prized for the fact that it’s important to him or that he misses Jack or anything like that. It’s prized because he knows if He has the implant, no one else can get ahold of Jack but him. And keeping Jack in the implant means that he’s suffering alone in there by himself which Rhys feels is what he deserves. (He keeps the implant in a bio-encrypted lock deep down in his office’s vaults at Atlas. No one except him knows that it’s even stored there.)

33. Concept of home and family?

His friends are his family. Vaughn, Fiona, Sasha, LB, Gortys, heck even Athena and Janey and August, he considers them all his family to some degree, with Vaughn being the closest out of all of them. And as far as a home goes, that’s just wherever they all happen to be together in his mind.

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

As mentioned earlier, Rhys enjoys doodling at times but sometimes considers it a waste when he knows he has more important things he could be doing with his time.

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Absolutely more emotional. He goes with whatever his heart tells him is right every single time, which doesn’t always have the best results.

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Rhys used to play guitar a bit in college, but once he got to Hyperion that hobby died very quickly. Somehow, Fiona found out this fact (most likely through Vaughn since Rhys never talks about it) and gave Rhys a slightly used guitar she was able to pawn off of someone one day as a gift. She claims it was just to get him out of everyones hair but really, it was just her being nice. Rhys has since then been slowly learning how to play again and likes to pull it out and play by himself when he’s too low on energy to be social. (If he’s too drained for even that, then a nap will normally suffice for a recharge as well. Preferably one with Vaughn, but those are few and far between since he’s got people to look after.)

41. How misanthropic are they?

Rhys is normally a pretty social person and generally enjoys society, but at times, he does tend to withdraw from people and isolate himself after the Helios incident. It’s not for the fact of hating people or society in general, it’s more the fact that he spent so much time alone after defeating Jack and while rebuilding Atlas that sometimes, being around people is just too much and he needs some time alone. He gets better with this as the years go by, but in the beginning he’ll sometimes go two or three days alone before interacting with people again. (His friends worry the first few times this happens, especially Vaughn, but they come to understand his reasoning after he actually takes the time to explain his absences to them. Vaughn is sometimes allowed to see him during those times though because he’s Vaughn and he knows how to just be around Rhys naturally and do his own work without making Rhys talk or interact much.)

43.How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

It’s canon that Rhys went to college, but as far as actually finishing and what degrees he got, I’d say he got his bachelors and no further than that, unless he was doing his own independent studying on his own, which he might have done to push himself forward at Hyperion. Rhys is all for self education, he’s constantly doing that himself when it comes to running Atlas and learning what he needs to do to be a successful CEO there.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

Don’t think Rhys is much for superstitions or the occult. He doesn’t really Need to be when things like Vault Monsters exist in real life for him.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Vaughn is definitely his ideal person. He compliments Rhys in a lot of different ways, they have a lot of history from being best friends for so long, and they get each other on a deeper level. Vaughn has always been important to Rhys throughout their whole journey from college to Hyperion to the now. And after seeing how Vaughn grew as a person during the time they were separated, he really came to appreciate him as he was and is. Vaughns is his best bro after all, and bros gotta stick together.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

If he remembers to use his robotic arm to fight, then Rhys might actually stand a chance at least to not be knocked out during a fist fight. But if not, he’s extremely weak and will be beat to shit. He really has no style for physical fights other than “Throw my fist and see if it hurts them.”

[classyfoxdestiny]

ASK ANU: 'My husband doesn't love me'

ASK ANU: 'My husband doesn't love me'

Is your relationship causing you stress?

Are you feeling lonely, helpless, indecisive?

You are not alone!

As part of an initiative to help Rediff readers, mind/life coach, NLP trainer and mental health guru Anu Krishna wants you to talk about your problems.

Every week, Anu will answer your queries, address your concerns and offer expert advice on how you can take control of your life.

Dear readers, if you have a question for Anu, please e-mail it to getahead@rediff.co.in (Subject: Ask ANU) for her advice.

Meanwhile, here’s the unedited excerpt from Anu’s latest offline session with readers:

A: Dear Anu It’s been 3 years since I had my break up with my girlfriend.

We parted our ways on good terms but till date I miss her. Every time I feel like I should text her or call her but I don’t I just divert myself.

From past three weeks this thing is increasing I don’t know what to do should I contact her or not.

And I can’t discuss this thing with anyone I never told my friends about this relationship and I don’t want to.

Please help me out ma’am tell me what should I do .

ANU: Dear Anonymous, you can do one of two things. Either call her/text her and know what she feels about your relationship and whether she considers it as one.

If she does, see how both of you can rebuild it.

If she has moved on, then it’s obvious to move on as well. Easier said than done, I know.

But if you weigh what you lose by being in a zone of misery and anxiety versus what you can do and be when you move on, I guess it’s obvious what you must choose for yourself.

Start with initially distracting yourself from the phone into things that matter.

Do simple things; any repair in the house that you have put off or any course that you have been procrastinating about.

This is the time to start deeply focusing into something that will give you a sense of achievement that will enable you to have a better feeling from within.

Slowly, start to increase the level of difficulty of these tasks and soon, though you might still remember her, it will not be through pain or anguish but more a good memory.

Start now and always make sure you are surrounded by friends who pull you when you feel that ‘down’ moment.

Do remember, there was a reason why the two of you parted.

Honour and respect that reason and move on if that’s what is necessary for your peace of mind.

My best wishes to you!

HS: I don’t know how to start but things are not good in my life.

I lost my father 3 months back which still does not go out of my head.

I met a girl recently and developed some sort of feelings for her but she is not at all interested in me which made me more sad as I feel as I am just not good enough.

Due to my professional work I am not living with my family and their tensions extra.

I have zero friends who talk regularly to me or ask about me.

I have a thin body so people body shame me and it decreases my morale and confidence.

Profession is also not going as good I thought due to relationship issues with my manager.

Everything is making me more sad and lonely.

Please give me something to cheer. Don’t want to live life like this.. I am writing this with a heavy heart.

ANU: Dear HS, I am truly sorry for your loss; the passing away of a loved one is never easy on anyone.

Now let’s focus on what you might be bothered by. See, if you are going to depend on the external environment to increase your confidence or self-esteem, then you are setting yourself up for a rude disappointment.

Your state of mind is your choice which is the one that dictates how you perceive the environment around you.

If you wake every morning feeling sorry for yourself, do you think you are going to perform well at work?

Shying away from a social life just because you are body shamed pushes you back into an unfavorable state of mind where you shut away even a few ‘good’ people.

Why deprive yourself of the little joys just because some people measure you by how you look?

What do you get by giving into that drama that these people have created?

More agony, I presume! And then the loop goes on and on…

Do check a few inspiring videos on how people have overcome body shaming and take a leaf out of it and start living for who you are; people start respecting you when you respect yourself first.

Well, romantic feelings sometimes may not be reciprocated; but you feel sad because you already are in a self-pity mode; what if your mind space was stronger?

A rejection from a girl, would have still been fine and would have been easy to move on.

Sorry, I need to be honest and show you the mirror, rather than just cheer you up. Get up, stand tall, show up. Show Up, no matter what!

Respect yourself for who you are…you are your best Ally…Now, I want you to dust yourself off of all the feelings that are not useful and Show Up and Take Charge…watch how things change…

Best wishes and simply Show Up…You can do this…

RG:I have been in a relationship for 12 years when I married the man I love.

It is now 6 years of marriage and we have a kid. When I was pregnant my husband was in a relationship with another woman.

When my kid was 2.5 years old I came know about the relationship and I am destroyed.

My husband asked me not to leave him and since I didn’t get any support from my family I stayed. Now I am still not able to overcome the situation.

I know he doesn’t love me though he says he does.

I don’t know why I am with him, he is trying to maintain our relation but there is nothing like before.

I don’t feel the same way. I even don’t know whether I still love him or not.

ANU: Dear RG, I am going to assume that you want the marriage to work and my suggestions below are based on this assumption.

It’s time to get an independent person involved who will help in giving an impersonal view. This could be an elder member of the family or a Marriage Therapist.

What this person will help with is reevaluate your marriage, put things into perspective, clarify all your doubts.

Obviously, you have your doubts on whether he loves you or not after being cheated upon! But no amount of asking is going to convince you…that’s why it’s imperative for both of you involve a person who can guide you through this process of rebuilding your marriage in trust and love.

In the meantime, what I might suggest for you is: Remind yourself everyday as to why you married him and what he has brought forth to your life.

This helps you be in a sane space on a daily basis which also help you care for the toddler who needs a lot of care and love as well.

Spend time with friends that don’t just gossip and bad-mouth but can genuinely nourish you; you need this nourishment now.

Pick up a hobby and indulge in it; it helps not just distract you but also give you a ‘feel-good’ emotion and makes you have little moments of joy.

Of course, after you visit the expert, the choice of continuing in the marriage or not, rests with the two of you…choose wisely.

All the best!

GN: My name is Gatima, I’m 36 years old and a housewife.

I’m married from past 10 years and it was a love marriage.

I was bought up in metro cities like Delhi and Mumbai. I married to a guy from Goa and a shipy (merchant navy).

I was working when I got married but I left immediately because I wanted to sail with my husband, initial years were good. I have one boy who is 5 now .

We used to fight all d time but initially we used to understand each other and patch up fast , but from last one year our fights increased so much and we stop talking for even months.

My husband has lots of complaints from me and always blames me for every fight.

I’m feeling so guilty. I always curse myself and ask God why he made me so bad person.

Whenever we fight, all other family members cut off communication with me.

Although I am surrounded by so many I’m alone.

I cry most of time but now my eyes have dried and there are no tears.

I hate myself and my life. I cannot face the mirror for days bcoz I hate myself.

I am living for my 5 year old son. But I’m very depressed and have PCOD .

I don’t get sleep plus I get migraine attacks.

ANU: Dear GN, The past year has been different for different people; marriages have been rebuilt, new marriages have taken place, divorces have happened…relationships have gone through a huge transitions, in short.

Of course, not to undermine what you are experiencing right now!

Conflicts, arguments, debates are common in a marriage…but they can be worked upon as long as both of you want the same thing and want to stick around in the marriage.

What according to you has changed now when you say that things used to easily resolve earlier and now that doesn’t happen? What has caused this?

When you say, he complains and blames you, how does he do that? Does he actually say it aloud or are you interpreting it?

These questions get you closer to the truth of the matter at hand.

It takes two people to create a conflict, of course the phase of life or whatever the phase he is in, maybe he finds it convenient to blame you.

So why do play the role of the victim when you are not actually one?

And Yes, he may not be justified in what he is doing and throwing it all on you. But if simply being in this pool of misery has achieved anything, it has made you a victim…

If you want to feel better or change something about this situation, wake up NOW…do something, do anything; support or no support from anyone!

A small change in the way you perceive things and act for yourself can change your physical well-being as well.

PCOS/Migraine can be an indirect result of the anxiety and stress that you are carrying inside you.

Start focusing on what you are eating and if you are exercising enough…these can help a great deal in keeping PCOS/Migraine under control.

What you think is what you become…so keep your son also in mind and get yourself out of this misery or find an expert who can help you. You want this for yourself and your son, don’t you?

My best wishes are with you!

KS:My name is ‘X’ and I belong to a middle class family.

Right now, I am 46 and my marriage was solemnised about 10 yrs back.

It was a totally arranged marriage would like to state here that I didn’t like the girl or her appearance right from the start.

I am a teacher by profession and my mother wanted her would be daughter- in law to have a similar background that is like that of a teacher.

Initially, I was hesitant to marry this girl selected by my parents, but then I consented to the marriage thinking that whatever my elders and my parents had thought about my future would be the correct decision related to my life.

Moreover, everybody had started to say that the girl would suit me. But right from the 1st day of marriage, I started resenting the relationship.

Nothing happened between us on the 1st night of marriage.

The girl didn’t have any specific faults, but somehow she didn’t appear to be attractive at all for me.

The colour of her skin was dark, maybe I wanted a fair skinned girl.

Finally, the situation came to such an extent that she, in collusion with her family, lodged a false case of domestic violence against us because they felt that the girl was unfairly neglected by me.

They also wanted to derive unfair financial gain at my parents and my cost.

The case continued for 7 years and ultimately we won it. And now, after many years, I have once again started to feel that I should marry even though I am of advanced age.

I want a partner who is attractive, beautiful and above all, who is so matured in her outlook that after marriage, we will not even care for any petty issues and not fight over silly matters.

I am also taking the help of Shaadi.com in this matter through all the attractive membership schemes launched by them.

Now, at this juncture, I really need your advice as to whether I should proceed forward and take this step at my age.

This is moreso because as a life partner, I want an elite kind of girl who is far above the kind of girl which we see in most common middle-class societies.

I do not want to disclose my name.

ANU: Dear KS, before you proceed on this journey of finding a life partner for yourself, it is time to rework your strong beliefs on appearance, skin colour etc.

What went wrong with your first marriage maybe anybody’s guess, but there’s no judging here!

Not that, you were coerced into it; you fully know you always had the option of saying you didn’t want to marry the girl.

Yet, you went ahead convincing yourself that your family knew what they were doing for you.

The unfair financial gain that they wanted might have been a direct result of the unfair treatment from you towards their daughter.

Did that occur to you?

You say you want a life partner who will not rake up petty issues and be matured as well, don’t you feel that is what she will expect from you as well?

Since I don’t have the details, it would be unfair of me to presume anymore on this.

It was to simply turn your head towards how your old-fashioned thinking might step into your next marriage as well?

How would you feel if on the first night in your next marriage, your wife comments on your physical appearance or your performance in bed?

Are you going to walk around with a high self-esteem even after that?

Let’s now lead you to a place that can make it a beautiful experience for you…

So much has changed and I truly wish that you look at your spouse for what she can add into your life instead of harping on what she doesn’t possess?

I mean, as humans the flaws that we walk around, if it were pointed to us on a daily basis, it would depress us to a point that we may end up feeling that we are not good enough.

What I would suggest after having worked with couples over years helping them rebuild their marriages is to change your way of thinking and embrace the next person for who she is once you know your initial check boxes have been ticked that might involve matching value systems.

This helps in rooting your marriage on a strong foundation; rain or storm, the two of you will be smiling and holding hands to walk the journey together.

Wishing you a beautiful life!

TT: Dear Anu, I would like to discuss about a problem in my married life with you.

Me and my husband had a love marriage 21 years ago.

Before our marriage also my husband had many relationships and affairs but since he was very true about everything and he promised to change things, we married.

Though, our family was a happy one and we have two grown up kids also, everything seems OK from outside. But actually, my husband has had many affairs after our marriage also.

He has never left his habit of impressing females around him, it may be his colleagues or some common friends etc.. and I always come across some or the other female in his life.

Some of the affairs have been so serious that they even went ahead and spent days and nights together.

Every time, I discover some affair, he admits his mistake and tells me to move on, but he never believes in correcting his mistakes and either continues with the affair or finds a new partner.

I have lost all trust in him but since I am not earning and have two grown up kids and also love him a lot, can’t think of separation.

I have tried confronting him though but he gets angry always and blames me for spoiling our family life and not moving on.

Also, would like to accept that he is very supportive in family matters, loves his family a lot, is very dedicated to his work and to his kids, he is very empathetic towards people, helps everyone but needs his own space too.

I am completely confused about what should I do.

I am unable to trust him for anything and we keep arguing over smallest things.

Hope you will reply to me. Thanks.

ANU: Dear TT, I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Since you want to continue in the marriage, that choice is something I presume that has emerged after a lot of thought and I respect it.

The way this marriage will work is communicate clearly to him that his philandering ways have to stop as it is affecting you and the marriage.

If this doesn’t work, he seriously needs help in dealing with this…sometimes people don’t realise that they are jeopardizing their marriages.

I am not defending him but simply stating that sometimes people get themselves into a trap of not so useful situations and quite don’t know how to get out of it.

Also, what he might gain from so many extra marital relationships is something that he needs to find in other ways rather than swaying outside of the marriage.

This requires him to work with an expert as he will most likely not yield to your requests like in the past. Mere talking will not be enough; he possibly needs intensive therapy.

This will help him reunite with his family that he loves so much and he can be around completely without having to seek pleasure outside eroding the foundation of marriage.

As he seems to get better, it’s time for you to live your life as well, right?

What is it that you haven’t done in years? What is it that you gave up after marriage or after having kids?

What excites you enough for you to step up for yourself and create your own happiness? Simply DO THAT.

This will help you get back on your feet; who knows you might discover something that actually may end up becoming a money generator as well!

I wish you the best!

. Source link

[angelcorebabyowo]

Link:

Chapter name: 5 years old

Chapters: 1/?

Tw: Child death, Somewhat restraints of a child, burning

Chapter description: Remus is five years old whenever he accidentally kills his best friend

Remus is five years old when he first meets a boy named Logan.

-------------

Remus is normally a pretty emotional kid, and even now, as he looks down upon the still and partially melted and mangled body of his once best friend he is still emotional. The world seems to be spinning around him and no matter what he does he can't seem to will his legs to move. He can't seem to do anything but scream, cry and feel things as he crumbles to the ground, shaking his friend and only making the situation worse by causing, even more, burns on the already scorched corpse. He stays like that for another few minutes before the teachers finally come over and have to drag Remus away as he still kicks and screams. As he gets dragged away he can hear some of his peers whispering but can't make out what they were saying over the noise him his ears and well the whole screaming. 

He eventually calms down by the time that he's dragged out to the front of the school, now softly crying still trying to figure out what was happening. He can hear the siren of police and ambulances and while normally he would perk up and try to see them he doesn't even bother to look up, doesn't even bother to open his eyes again instead, he winces and tries to escape again but with the teachers holding his arms in a way that it was nearly impossible for him to move around all that much.

He can hear it turn into the parking lot and stop right in front of them. He felt himself move from the teacher's arms to the backseat and get buckled in. The car started moving and Remus still didn't open his eyes but noticed that the farther from the school he got the noise of sirens seemed to leave as well. How come?

"You're in a lot of trouble bud." The voice of his dad says softly whenever the car stops at a red light he jumps completely not expecting that at all. Sure the second he got in the car he had a suspicion but he didn't think it would've been true or anything.  "Not with the law, at least not right now but with literally everyone...What happened?"

That's when Remus broke down again, he knew his dad knew and was only asking to hear his side but he couldn't take it at the moment, it was already too much and his head was hurting and everything was just Too. Much. He could feel the bubbling in his skin making him full-on scream at the feeling of it, which made his dad swerve slightly but quickly regain control of the weel. .

Remus undergoes the next 10 minutes of the car ride with his dad trying to distract him from the subject at hand, one they'll eventually have to talk about but at the moment Remus couldn't even think about his friend without his emotions spiking up and it causing the acid to leak more onto his hands causing painful blisters.

They should go to the hospital, they should go somewhere with someone who knows what to do but the next thing Remus knows is that he's in the driveway and being picked up and brought inside and laid gently on this bed. His dad is seated on the edge of it and gently applies some sort of burn cream to the area before gently wrapping it in a few gauze bandages before sighing softly and telling Remus to take a nap. And Remus happily agrees, he was tired and just needed to clear his head entirely. 

It stays that way for a while, Remus says in his room, his dad comes in to help change the bandages or to bring him something to eat, and then he goes right back to sleep as if he doesn't exist to anyone outside of the room. He can sometimes catch the news from the crack in the door and on a few rare occasions can hear his friend's name and it all comes flooding back to him at once and violently. The screaming, the pleading, the way their glassed-over eyes looked up at him as they laid still on the grass. Every time it happens he throws up a little in his mouth and can feel his hands start to burn to the point that they burn through the bedsheets. 

The door doesn't stay open much after that and the news even less. 

Somedays his older brother, Roman, will come and sit at the edge of the bed and rant about his day but will mostly just leave whenever Remus doesn't even seem to acknowledge his presence at all but instead curls more under the blanket. But somedays he stays and continues to talk despite the silence o the other end, he understood that Remus wouldn't even try to talk to someone right now but he still wanted him to know that someone was there for him. 

After a month Remus is about closer to his old self than he had been this entire time, he's talking a bit more and is even active and leaving his room daily and hanging out with the family. Roman is ecstatic as they go back to playing and while it's not the same, Remus still refuses to use his hand's so Roman fixes the stuff to his wrist or just changes the games completely, it feels as good as it ever did.

Today Roman wanted to hang out with some friends at the park and brought Remus along just to give the kid some fresh air, so that's what they did and the second they got there Remus ran over to a tree he used to climb and sat underneath it getting his lose jeans covered in dirt already despite it not even being a few minutes. His brother rolled his eyes and said a soft stranger danger warning before going off to find his friends. Remus didn't even want to be here so he was content with just making little piles in the dirt while trying to keep the bandages clean. 

"Um excuse me, that's my tree!" a soft and nasally voice says which makes Remus look up at a kid who seemed to be around his age. He was wearing a somewhat oversized dark blue sweater and black shorts with rain boots, his glasses didn't even seem to fit him seeing as every second he adjusted them. he was carrying a portable bug-catching kit in the unoccupied hand. "Please move?"

"I was here first!" Remus says quickly with a huff before looking back down and building up a small pile even more. He was still nervous around people, definitely people his age  (One of the main reasons he didn't like going outside). While his mind normally ran in circles when talking to someone, it didn't do it with this kid, it was still clear and he was able to keep control. Plus, why was this kid even talking to him, haven't they seen his face on the news a while ago? Remus was dangerous and everyone in the small town knew it, why didn't this kid seem to care?

The other kid huffed and crossed his arms before sitting right next to Remus and just stared at him for a second before shrugging and going on with his own business of searching for something in the dirt. "What doin'?" The kid asks and Remus turns to face him with a confused look before sighing softly and answering. 

"Dirt," Remus says looking back down at his dirt pile and saw Logan picking up ants that were trying to climb into it. 

"What with dirt?" 

"Pile."

"Why?"

"I really like it it's calming." 

"Have you tried to destroy the pile then put back?" Logan asks setting his kit in the dirt right at the base of the tree and starts to help make the pile bigger, still flicking the ants away but letting other insects run right in. 

Remus tilts his head in confusion again and shrugs before standing up and kicking the dirt onto the tree with a small smile and even a laugh, it was pretty fun, he'd have to give them credit there. He goes back to sit down and starts to push the dirt into the pile again "Remus, my name" he whispers thinking that it would be best to get his name out there

"I'm Logan" The kid, Logan, says helping to rebuild the pile as well "And I know, Roman talks lot about you. Look like Roman, like a lot."

"You know Roman?" Remus asks confused for the 3rd time in less than an hour.

"He's my older brother's friend...When he come over he talk a lot about you!" Logan says quickly with a nod and Remus almost feels relief flush through him for some reason. Logan stands up quickly and brushes off his shorts "Well calling for me." he says before Remus even hears someone calling for the other.

"Bye!" Remus says with a wide wave and winced slightly when Logan looked at his hand but the other boy just shrugged. 

"Bye-bye!" He says before running off. 

That wasn't the last time Remus saw Logan though, they met up at the park or at one of there houses, and each day it seemed as if they had gotten closer and closer, and while Remus was still cautious about touching Logan he was happy to at least have another friend to hand out with.

[detergeorp]

Remus Lupin

A 7th year. A lion. A halfblood. [Luke Newberry, played by Ellie.]

The Story:

Everybody knows the story of the man, brokenhearted and lost, turning to self loathing in place of his friends, and drowning himself in unending loneliness. Everbody knows how he takes strength from the presence of other people, bringing himself to full posture in crowded rooms, holding himself to a higher standard. Everybody knows how he lost everyone, and had to rebuild it all. Everybody knows the story of the man and the wolf, one and the same. Not everybody knows how it begins. (Not everybody knows how it’s begun to change.)

Remus John Lupin is the half-blood child of Hope Howell and Lyall Lupin. Their love story begins in Cardiff, in a forest, where a Boggart has taken the shape of a man Hope knows only too well, her ex-boyfriend, and as she screams, Lyall comes running. He saves her, although she knows, months later, that he did not save her life, but her soul, but she doesn’t care. Her fondness for him has grown into love, and when they get married, there is a Boggart cake-topper on their cake, and when Lyall sees it, he laughs and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. (After all, Hope’s always been the sentimental sort.) It’s just over a year after, on March 10, 1960, that Remus is born.

Remus grows up happy, healthy and safe. His mother quits her job at the insurance company she’d worked at for seven years, and his father gets a job at the Ministry, closer to home. For the first five years, he is raised by loving parents without a care in the world. He listens to the old fairy tales his mother reads to him and revels in the magic of the stories his father tells him, he falls off his first broom into the sofa and careens into the door whenever his father leaves for work. His first five years on this earth are saturated in happiness, in joy and in light. It seems like nothing can destroy it, until one day, Lyall gives a speech in the Wizengamot, and everything changes.

Fenrir Greyback, a terrible man who seems ageless, attacks a nearly five year old Remus Lupin not even two days before his birthday. Lyall, a wizard of prodigious skill, repels Greyback as soon as he discovers the horror, but nothing could be done: Remus Lupin, his son, was a werewolf. A creature that Lyall had claimed to despise, proclaiming them to be “soulless, evil, deserving of nothing but death.” The next six years of Remus Lupin’s life are shadowed by loneliness: childhood friendships are diminished, and with every passing day, Hope and Lyall despair more and more about the lack of a cure for lycanthropy.

Remus? Remus understands nothing but the pain, and the fear, and being alone. He has the love of his parents, but he has no friends. He is not allowed that luxury, not allowed out of the house to interact with the other kids in the village, not the first one, nor the next, nor any of the ones after that. You see, as time goes by, the villagers begin to suspect that there is something terribly wrong with the Lupin boy at the end of the road, but with each realisation, the Lupin’s leave, leaving nothing but empty rooms, and walls and floors with scratchmarks and bloodstains. (The blood is his own, and the wounds remain fresh for days until they heal: not even dittany can help.)

He loses his mind every full moon, and when he comes to himself, he cannot help but wonder what he’s destroyed this time. A wall, the windows, the door. At ten years old, he is capable of destroying all those things, and the spells that Lyall must cast are complex, and take hours, and Hope can do nothing but wait. She can do nothing but wonder if her son will be safe the next full moon, if he will be contained in that room, if the next full moon is the one when he kills someone. (She cannot stomach the fact she thinks these things when she looks at his face, ashen and scarred, because he’s just a child, and all he has known for years is pain, self loathing and loneliness.)

Lyall doesn’t think he’ll be able to go to Hogwarts, and quietly shelves away all thoughts of getting him dress robes in Diagon Alley, when he shuffles along with Remus at his side, gathering the books they’d need and Remus’s first wand (these purchases are without fanfare, and Remus can do nothing other than watch his father,) and some food for the family Owl. They hide themselves away as often as they can, Lyall attempting to begin to teach Remus, fuelled by love but not understanding that Remus, with every passing day, feels all hope dwindling of a normal life. (Who was Remus kidding? His life was never normal. At least, that’s what he tells himself whenever he thinks of those few months.)

It’s a scramble to lock the door, when their visitor arrives - he’s unexpected, but not unfamiliar, and it’s all Lyall can do to not drop the groceries when he realised it was Albus Dumbledore. The admission that he knows what Greyback has done to their son wasn’t shocking - Dumbledore has eyes and ears everywhere, it seems, and Lyall wasn’t unfamiliar to being made aware of such a fact. The fact that Remus would be able to attend Hogwarts after all was such a relief to Hope that she nearly fainted on the spot. It wasn’t so easy to believe for Lyall, however. He was worried, scared for his son, scared of what the other kids might think, if they ever found out.

Remus is even more terrified than Lyall is. He’s only known his parents, only known the revolving homes they call their own. He doesn’t know anything other than them, and he doesn’t really want to - if he does, then that means everybody else is unsafe. Remus Lupin isn’t stupid - he knows what his dad thought about werewolves, and though that opinion has changed, he knows that he is a burden on his father. This feeling is one that he knows will not go away, and he attributes it to shame. To guilt. If only he’d been asleep in another room, then this would’ve never happened. If only he’d been able to persuade his father to stay home that day, then this would’ve never happened. But it did.

There was never any real normalcy in the Lupin household. Never. The homes they lived in were filled with guilt, on Lyall’s part, and a vain hope that things would work out, on Hope’s part, and anger and pain and hurt on Remus’s part. The Lupin family lived by the hour, ready to pack up at a moment’s notice, and this didn’t change when Remus began to pack for Hogwarts. He rationed everything, to make it so much easier for his parents if they happened to need to move when he came home for the holidays. It was easy enough to do this - it wasn’t easy enough to ignore the pain that his own father was going to be searching for a cure for who Remus was for the rest of his life. Everything would forever be upside down, seen through broken glass, when it came to their relationship. (The love, that was still there, but the trust was shattered, and Lyall could barely look at Remus without registering his own guilt.)

Hogwarts was the first real home Remus remembered, despite everything. He’d been alone for the first half of the train ride, before he stumbled along a compartment with only two other inhabitants. It was by chance that Remus Lupin, tired and in need of rest, entered that compartment that day, dressed in half-shabby robes, and asked if he could take a seat. Some would say that it was fate. (Remus would say that it was just luck, that he met Sirius and James that day.) They, along with Peter Pettigrew, were the first friends that he ever made. They were like brothers, before long, but they didn’t know who Remus really was. They never could. They could never know, because he had to keep them safe, from the monster that he was, and after every full moon, he moved into the hospital wing, and never said a word about it - always claiming that he had the same illness his mother had, not knowing that his mother really was ill, and wouldn’t survive.

Being sorted into Gryffindor was the happiest day of Remus’s life. Everything that he was, was validated. The side to this boy that was brand new, that was newly shaped and realised, was born. Kind, courageous, intelligent. There wasn’t a cowardly bone in Remus Lupin’s body, and he was proud to have proved it, in such an elementary way. But, living as a Gryffindor? That meant everything. It meant more than most other kids would know, meaning more than many others understood. He had a new family. He had brothers, people who cared about him, people who didn’t look at him and start thinking about how to cure the person that he was, now, to return the person that he was, the person that could never come back because a thing like lycanthropy, it changes people.

When the boys found out Remus’s secret, or, rather, worked it out themselves, Remus wanted Dumbledore to send him back home. Nobody else could know, and he refused to listen to reason - he refused to listen to his friends, for weeks, until they cornered him when he was scrambling out of bed three hours earlier than they usually did, and told him that it didn’t matter. That he was their best friend, that he was still their Remus. (It tore Remus apart to see them so upfront about something that he had hidden for so long, but he swore to them, that he’d never hide it away from them. And so, the Marauders weathered the first of many storms together.) Losing the boys for as little time as he did, when he’d only known them for a year, felt as if he had lost his limbs. He had lost everything, the support system that he never realized that he had.

The boys becoming an Animagus took three months. Of course, that didn’t include the years of research he had no idea about until it was done. Finding out what they’d done for him left Remus more than speechless. He had always wondered if that was possible - with the introduction of the boys into his life, he had been the one with all the words, the one that always knew what to say to placate the others, to placate everyone around him - but, this. This was greater to him than anything. For the first time in his life, Remus wouldn’t be alone. Not truly. He would have them. Through every danger, and hardship, this was their way of showing him that he would never lose them. He would never be without them. And so, when he cried for weeks, it wasn’t a surprise to him. They did that, so they could be with him. So they could be with the him that wasn’t really him but it didn’t matter, because he was Remus, he was Moony, no matter what, to them. He didn’t need to understand it. He just needed to feel it. And for the first time, he did.

The only time this feeling wavered, over the many years, of his cowardice in the face of telling his friends when they were doing the wrong thing, was in fifth year. Sirius had tried to get Snape into the Shrieking Shack after Remus had been transformed, and he had succeeded, and Snape only survived because James forced him to safety. The fact that Sirius thought it was a laugh - that broke Remus. It broke all of Remus’s trust in him. To be used as nothing more than a weapon by someone he loved? That was unthinkable, and only reinforced the fact that he believed he was a monster. (And, oh, the hilarity of it all - that James Potter saved Severus Snape’s life, not even weeks after hanging him up by his trousers for calling Lily Evans a mudblood…) Remus didn’t sleep in the dorm for two weeks. He refused.

It took time. It took weeks, for their relationship to grow into the friendly one that it had been before. Sirius had thought it would have been funny to see what would happen to Snape. Remus didn’t. Remus would never. Remus was sick for weeks, at the thought of what he could have done, on what he would’ve done if James hadn’t done what he did. Still, as time went by, the Marauders healed: the incident was planted beneath a bridge, and left there, never to be thought of again except without the deepest of remorse. His friends - his brothers - they were his humanity. They were the parts of him that were human, the extensions of himself, when he thought of himself as little more than a monster, when the periods of self loathing grew too much that Remus could barely be trusted alone.

(It is this trait that he despises within himself. His inability to stand up to his friends, because of his love for them, because of his fear of rejection, when they have made it clear that he is more than safe with them, because that could all wash away within an instance, a snapshot of time when things go tumbling to ash. It is his easy forgiveness of Sirius that he ignores, that he compartmentalizes, and moves on from, but it is his self loathing which clouds his judgement at the best and worst of times - that stops him from agreeing to be President of the Duelling Club (although the position is thrust onto his shoulders anyway,) that stops him from being too happy about being a Prefect.)

Hogwarts. In one fell swoop, it goes from a castle to ruins. It goes from a home, to a ghostly memory of a place that was once so loved. The happiness that Remus had built fractures. It cleaves in two, so broken that the pieces can never fit back together. There’s nothing that Remus can do. The broken boy, unable to help his mother, unable to save the castle that had become home - more of a home than home ever was? It’s a tragic story, timeless, in some degree, but Remus cannot stomach it. It burns in him, like something foul. This is no longer his place. No longer his home.

His friends weren’t phased by the fact that he refused to go back to the place he had called home as a child. His mother had died in that place - killed by a muggle illness neither he nor his father could cure - but his father remained. His father, what? His father, the coward? His father, the man who couldn’t love him the same as a werewolf? They accepted him with open arms. James let him sleep on his couch for weeks - Sirius, too, on the other. He lived with Peter and his mother for a few weeks, as well, but after a while, the feeling of being a burden grew into a beast he could no longer manage.

So Remus fled, as one does. As Remus has always known to do. He’s a monster, not fit for civilized society, at least that’s what Snape says. He moves on from the idea of returning to Hogwarts. The devastation ripples through him like the bite had, years ago, when he was unable to fathom what it meant for the rest of his life. He found his own place in the world - visiting his mother’s grave, sleeping on the streets, eating and living off whatever money he could scrounge together. Finding Marigold was like finding a safe-haven in the middle of a storm.

Holyhead. That’s where he was when she found him. She’d lived there all her life, she explained, a hand on his back. She knew what his scars meant (and didn’t his blood run cold at that), she knew what he was hiding. But she didn’t tell anyone. She knew, because she had some friends, too, going through the same thing. And this is where it began. Finding Greyback at the end of the symbolic rainbow was anything other than a pleasant surprise. Greyback was the one responsible for turning them all, for turning Remus. Months, he spent at Greyback’s side, until word reached him that he could go back to Hogwarts. That several of them would be going with him. Jefferson. Marigold. Emerson.

Returning back to Hogwarts is like walking through a dream. The place once felt safe, but it felt like a dangerous illusion to him. An illusion of happiness, of stability. He knew that things were not the way that everyone expected. He knew better than anyone that life didn’t go the way that anyone wanted, that anyone prayed. After all, he’d spent years of his life praying for a cure, praying for something to change what he was. Joining Lily’s ‘study group’ was the beginning of a chain reaction that felt like it could never end. 

A folie à deux. That’s what this state of life was, and that’s the way this state of life will always be, from the outside, even though it’s so much worse from within.

The Night of the Attack:

What were you doing? James had tasked you with organizing the get-together, finding a place, sourcing the food and making sure the Firewhiskey was just the right level of diluted. The music was loud, and the people even louder, and even you had to admit, the company wasn’t half bad. 

What happened? The attack. You’d left before the others, stumbling out with your hand around another’s wrist. You’d been about to leave them outside of their common room when you heard it, and your blood ran cold. The deranged laughter, the spells. There was only one thing that could’ve meant, and it all came tumbling down around you.

And since? The couches of your friends were your beds, the warmth of their hospitality dimming as days went by, until you’d had enough. You refused their money, and up and left. You disappeared weeks later. There was no reason for you to believe there was a place left for you at Hogwarts, with the Marauders, so you tried to move on. You’d found people that were like you, tainted, broken, monsters.

And now? The castle - once your home - feels too haunted. The castle feels like your bones - hollow and cracking. You join Lily’s study group, to try and pretend like you’re the same Remus you’ve always been, but something is different with you, and you know they can all sense it. You don’t want to feel like the monster anymore. You want to feel whole. You just don’t know if there’s a way that you can, anymore.

The Connections

James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew; fellow Marauders, best friends Alice Johnson, Emerson Dunlap, Marigold Thompson; new friends, lived with over the year, has mixed feelings about Jefferson Gibbon; lived with over the year, distrusts, is wary of Amelia Bones; has feelings for, was with on the night of the attack, worries about her Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline Vance; treats like siblings

Characters ll Plot ll Rules ll App Form ll Submit ll Main

[opedguy]

Hamas War with Israel More Likely

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), July 15, 2017.--Growing more likely each day the Gaza Strip spirals into disarray, its Hamas rulers have no one to blame but themselves, despite turning their ire onto Israel.  When Hamas ran out of cash in 2014, they started a war with Israel July 8, 2014, using the Gaza strip as cannon fodder for an expected Israeli assault.  Back then, Hamas ruler Ismail Haniyeh, now Hamas’ official leader in exile replacing Khaled Meshaal, ordered Hamas military wing Izz ad-din al Qassam Brigades to open fire, shooting thousands of rockets into Israel.  Haniyeh knew Israel would respond with devastating force, leveling a good part of the already dilapidated Gaza Strip. Haniyeh’s motive was clear:  Let Israel devastate Gaza, allowing for a multi-billion-dollar donors’ conference from largely sympathetic Gulf State countries. Pledged $6 billion, no one really knows what happened to all the cash.

            What’s known today is that Gaza has so little cash and infrastructure, residents can expect power only a few hours a day in the blistering Gaza heat.  “What’s needed to happen has not happened, and the indicators are accelerating instead of slowing down,” said Robert Piper, U.N. Coordinator for Humanitarian Aid and Development Activities in the so-called occupied territories.  Gaza hasn’t been occupied since the late Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon pulled Israel out of Gaza Sept. 12, 2005. After winning elections in Gaza in Jan. 25, 2006, it didn’t take long for Hamas to take over Gaza Jun 14, 2007 from the Ramallah-based Palestine Liberation Organization [PLO], leaving Palestinians divided between Hamas and the PLO.  Watching Hamas run Gaza into the ground, there’s little PLO Chairman Mahmoud Abbas can do.  PLO finds itself helpless against Hamas’ al Qassam Brigades.

            Gaza’s 2.2 million residents live in intolerable conditions, largely blamed by Hamas on Israel, whipping up unending hatred, promising eventual victory over Israel. Yet every time Hamas “goes to war,” the Gaza Strip is pounded into the Stone Age, watching its residential neighborhoods and infrastructure destroyed.  When Hamas runs out of cash, it’s time to start firing rockets at Israel, hoping for more devastation to justify hefty donations from wealthy Arab Gulf States. ‘In a nutshell, Gaza continues to de-develop in front of our eyes,” said Piper.  “Many of the problems stem from the Hamas takeover of Gaza 10 years ago, Israel and Egypt’s blockade of Gaza and the Palestinian Authority’s recent reduction of electricity to Gaza to pressure rival Hamas,” reports NPR’s Daniel Estrin.  Israel and Egypt maintain a blockade because of Hamas weapons’ smuggling into the Gaza Strip.

            Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sissi and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu have watched Hamas squander donors’ cash on weapons’ buys, ignoring the promise of residential and commercial infrastructure rebuilding.  Offering proof that Hamas repeats the same cycle of running Gaza into the ground, it then starts another war with Israel.  Hamas spokesman Fawzi Bahhoum called on Palestinians to attack Israeli military and civilians for Israel closing down Temple Mount.  Two Israeli policemen were gunned down July 13 near the al-Aqsa Mosque and Western Wall.  Netanyahu immediately called for a closure of Temple Mount, prompting Palestinians calls for more violence.  In both Gaza and the West Bank, PLO Chairman Mahmoud Abbas and Gaza’s Ismail Haniyeh routinely call for Palestinians to attack Israeli civilians, police and military personnel whenever possible.

            When President Trump’s Son-in-Law and White House advisor Jared Kushner met with Abbas June 22, he quickly found out that Abbas considers any act of terror against Israel a right of ”resistance.” “The people of the United States are heartbroken that terrorists brutally gunned down two Israeli police officers,” said White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer.  “There must be zero tolerance for terrorism.  It is incompatible with achieving peace and we must condemn it in the strongest terms, defeat it, and eradicate it,” outlining the new Trump Doctrine.  Not since former President George W. Bush did the U.S. reject the Palestinian’s right to slaughter innocents out of “resistance.”  With Abbas and Haniyeh promoting terror to achieve political ambitions, it’s non-starter with the Trump White House.  Prospects for Mideast peace don’t look good with Palestinians practicing terrorism.

            Running Gaza into the ground Trump’s brief foray into Midest peace has all but ended.  Before any work can be done on a two-state solution, Hamas and the PLO must embrace the new White House terror policy.  Insisting that killing Israeli civilians continues Palestinians’ right-of-resistance will get Palestinians nowhere with the Trump administration. Calling for a new uprising to target Israeli army and West Bank settlers, Barhoum exposes Palestinians ongoing war with Israel.  As Hamas diverts attention away from corruption and incompetence in Gaza, the Trump White grows more wary of Mideast peace.  Watching Hamas destroy the Gaza Strip, Israel braces for what looks like another destructive war.  “It is profoundly unjust and inhuman to put Gaza’s civilians through such an ordeal,” said the U.N.’s report on Gaza. Yet Hamas continues to put cash over Gaza’s well being.

About the Author

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.