#they were acting like somebody else set up a ride for someone on their account?? it was like this old lady who was totally chill so idk!!!

[bluecoati]

Love it when Lyft riders text me threatening messages over a misunderstanding or whatever!!!!!

*does a gay little jig*

[edenmemes]

red dead redemption 2 starters

❝ in these books life seems so simple, but in reality… i can’t make head nor tail of it. ❞  ❝ listen to me. when the times comes, you gotta run and don’t look back. ❞ ❝ i ain’t afraid of dying. ❞ ❝ i’m still standing, which is an improvement on the last time you saw me. ❞ ❝ i still think about you. that was...that was quite a time. ❞ ❝ people don’t forget. nothing gets forgiven. ❞ ❝ your father would rather you did not do anything so foolish. ❞ ❝ forgiveness, well...it’s just an easy way of saying ‘i don’t care no more’. ❞ ❝ i know you like to hide behind the angry moron act, but it’s a thin enough veneer. ❞ ❝ when somebody doesn’t lie in this world and you don’t lie to them, then together you can achieve great things and destroy great powers. ❞ ❝ i remain a fool, and i’m sure i shall die a fool, but i’m trying very hard to be something like the man you deserve. ❞ ❝ i am always honest, maybe not always good, but i'm always honest. ❞ ❝ why you got that guilty look on your face? ❞ ❝ i trust i will not make a god awful fool of myself once more-- but somehow i imagine i shall. ❞ ❝ please don’t go to any trouble on my account. ❞ ❝ you ain’t gonna die. not yet. ❞ ❝ feels like things have changed...the whole world has changed. ❞ ❝ i feel like we haven’t spoken for days. ❞ ❝ we’re thieves in a world that don’t want us no more. ❞ ❝ we can’t change what’s done. we can only move on. ❞ ❝ just do one thing or the other. don’t try to be two people at once. ❞ ❝ we’re more ghosts than people. ❞ ❝ how can romance ever be silly? it’s all we have. ❞ ❝ vengeance is an idiot’s game. ❞ ❝ i don’t think we can go much further on the horses. ❞ ❝ i'm surprised we escaped at all. ❞ ❝ you’re...i was gonna say you’re like a son/daughter to me. ❞ ❝ you’re...i was gonna say you’re like a son/daughter to me...but you’re more than that. ❞ ❝ this is a new low, even by your standards. ❞ ❝ i do my utmost to avoid you. ❞ ❝ i thought the whole point was that this had nothing to do with you? ❞ ❝ i’m sorry to complain. it’s just so... ❞ ❝ i need you now...more than ever. ❞ ❝ face me to the west so i can watch the setting sun and remember all the fine times we had that way. ❞ ❝ do you ever miss home? must be hard, being so far away. ❞ ❝ you know, we’re gonna need to come up with a better story for that scar. ❞ ❝ there’s a good man within you...but he is wrestling a giant. ❞ ❝ you saved my life. you’re a good man. ❞ ❝ there’s only one of me. i don’t intend for them to know i’m coming. ❞ ❝ i thought you were trying to make me feel better. ❞ ❝ be loyal to what matters. ❞ ❝ you know, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you squeal before. ❞ ❝ i'm miserable. been a tough few days. ❞ ❝ i trust your judgement. always have. ❞ ❝ i'm just gonna...have a little sit down and...feel sorry for myself. ❞ ❝ i tried. in the end. i did. ❞ ❝ one day, folk will take orders from me...and trust me, it won’t be no laughing matter. ❞ ❝ here, take a drink of this. ❞ ❝ seems like there ain’t much else in this world except bastards, victims of bastards and the bastards who want to put the bastards in the ground. ❞ ❝ we’ll get off this mountain soon enough. ❞ ❝ i haven’t slept in three days. ❞ ❝ just thought you might’ve moved on by now. ❞ ❝ thanks for coming for me. ❞ ❝ you got sad eyes...like you’ve seen sad things. ❞ ❝ you always said revenge is a luxury we can’t afford. ❞ ❝ you don’t hire a saint to catch a sinner. ❞ ❝ you’re alive! oh, you’re alive! ❞ ❝ go. now. i’ll hold them off. ❞ ❝ are you okay? i mean you no harm. ❞ ❝ i'm nobody. ❞ ❝ what about you? you doubting me too? ❞ ❝ it’s enough to make a man drink. or worse. ❞ ❝ i knew not to trust, yet i had no choice. ❞ ❝ there ain’t no more time to talk. go. ❞ ❝ thank you, for your strength. it means a lot to me. ❞ ❝ firstly, we ain’t friends. don’t make no mistake on that subject. ❞ ❝ i'm so bored i’d rather be shot. ❞ ❝ it’ll mean a lot to me...please. ❞ ❝ you’re gonna sleep with your chest open if you ain’t careful. ❞ ❝ the bond we share, it’s the most real thing to me. i would kill for it, i would happily die for it... ❞ ❝ life is full of pain. but there is also love, and beauty. ❞ ❝ my pa used to say you stare into the fire long enough you can see the whole world pass by. ❞ ❝ whenever we happen to meet, you’re always helping people and smiling. ❞ ❝ do as you’re goddamn told. and shoot well. ❞ ❝ i guess he never outgrew his anger. kind of like you. ❞ ❝ some trees flourish, others die. some cattle grow strong, others are taken by wolves. some men are born rich enough and dumb enough to enjoy their lives. ain't nothing fair. you know that. ❞ ❝ you’re driven by powerful forces i scarcely understand. ❞ ❝ oh you fool. you sad, deluded fool. torn in two by different ideas of who you were, and it turns out you weren't neither of them. ❞ ❝ well, i think you’re as slippery as an eel in an oil slick, but still a man/woman. ❞ ❝ with you watching over me, i’d walk into hell itself. ❞ ❝ lack of something to feel important about is almost the greatest tragedy a man may have. ❞ ❝ when i was your age, i fought. i saw death. i have killed. ❞ ❝ i wish things were different. but it weren’t us who changed. ❞ ❝ nobody’s taking anything from me ever again. ❞ ❝ some jobs aren’t for saving and some legacies are for pissing on. ❞ ❝ you're my favorite parasite... no, wait, ringworm's my favorite parasite, you're my second-favorite parasite... i lied. ringworm, then, rats with the plague, then you. ❞ ❝ just leave it to me. i can talk a dog off a meat wagon. ❞ ❝ forgive me if i slip and stab you in the face. ❞ ❝ this place, ain’t no such thing as civilized. it’s man so in love with greed, that he has forgotten himself and found only appetites. ❞ ❝ shut up...you know, you’re not very nice to me. ❞ ❝ the amount of hell we’ve raised, we’re owed some back. ❞ ❝ i haven’t done anything wrong aside of not playing the games to your rules. ❞ ❝ don’t let yourself get killed...for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk. ❞ ❝ when you fall, there’ll be a party. ❞ ❝ every day i didn’t kill you, is a day i saved your life. ❞ ❝ i can’t kill them all silently so, when they chase me, you go the other way. ❞ ❝ does this seem like a good time for sarcasm to you? ❞ ❝ usually i’m worse than the wolves. ❞ ❝ i don’t have to be careful. i have you as a friend. ❞ ❝ i wish i had acquired wisdom at less of a price. ❞ ❝ they’re chasing us hard, because we represent everything they fear. ❞ ❝ you know all that mattered to me was loyalty? it was all i ever believed in. ❞ ❝ never thought i’d say this but...it’s good to see you. ❞ ❝ we’ve all lived bad lives. we all sin...but i know you. ❞ ❝ i kill people. and maybe i should’ve killed you. ❞ ❝ ain’t you a sorry sight? ❞ ❝ your job’s starting the fights, it ain’t winning them. ❞ ❝ some big, loud mouthed bastard tried to rob me when i was out riding so i... well, you know how it is. ❞ ❝ there ain’t no shame in looking for a better world. ❞ ❝ i can hunt, carry a knife, and use a gun. ❞   ❝ ...is it too late for us? ❞ ❝ if the purpose of life was to be liked...it would be very boring indeed. ❞ ❝ i’ve been running for as long as i can remember. ❞     ❝ they turned me into a monster. ❞   ❝ i always wondered if i was unlucky...but maybe i’m just not very good. ❞ ❝ don’t kill yourself over pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folks. ❞ ❝ sorry if i seem a little desperate. i am a little desperate. ❞ ❝ if anyone gets close to me, they’re wanted too. and i can’t have you wrapped up in that. ❞ ❝ there’s all kinds of nasty people who want to speak to you. ❞ ❝ they won’t hear anything about you from me. ❞ ❝ tell me about you, darling and armed to the teeth like that. ❞ ❝ i also...found out some unsettling news about you. ❞ ❝ i don’t know how to say it...thank you. ❞ ❝ you...don’t like me much, do you? ❞ ❝ i can’t lie to you. i’m a wanted man. ❞ ❝ that’s quite a scratch you got there. ❞ ❝ take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. ❞ ❝ i’m seeing things a lot more clearly now. ❞ ❝ where are you? can you hear me? ❞ ❝ i think someone saw some wolves, not far away. you should watch out. ❞ ❝ guess all i got now is doubt. doubts and scars. ❞ ❝ it wasn’t me who went and shot him. ❞ ❝ will you dance with me? ❞ ❝ i like you. you’ve got a kind face. ❞ ❝ i’m not a good man. not usually. ❞ ❝ there’s a lot i should’ve done and even more i shouldn’t have done. ❞ ❝ you are a compulsive liar. ❞ ❝ next time, i’ll slit your throat myself. ❞ ❝ as long as we get paid or you get shot, i’m happy. ❞ ❝ i'm not designed for this snow. ❞ ❝ you don’t get to live a bad life and have good things happen to you. ❞ ❝ shut up you silly man and kiss me. ❞ ❝ who made you the messiah of these poor souls you’ve led so horribly astray? ❞ ❝ maybe it’s a sign. try to do the good thing. ❞ ❝ how many times do i gotta bury you? ❞ ❝ you are the only feller who could get half of their brain eaten by wolves and end up more intelligent. ❞ ❝ five thousand dollars? for me? can i turn myself in? ❞ ❝ if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging. ❞     ❝ we ain’t both gonna make it. ❞ ❝ i gave you all i had. i did. ❞ ❝ if we have to fight, we fight. If we have to run, we’ll run. if we must die, we’ll die. but…we’ll stay free. ❞ ❝ people call me lazy. i’m not lazy, just don’t like working. there’s a difference. ❞ ❝ i guess...i’m afraid. ❞ ❝ oh, i didn’t know i was talking to a lady. ❞ ❝ i don’t feel too good. ❞ ❝ you have finally lost your mind. ❞

[missjaystone]

What’s up, Doc?

This is my submission for darkficsyouneveraskedfor​ ‘Watching-Stalker AU Challenge’ (And yes, after asking initially from an entirely new account before posting on a secondary blog, I’m too embarrassed to tag Roo again.)

Prompt 11: Everyone knows about celebrity stalkers, but what happens when a celebrity is the stalker? Kinks: Forced Pregnancy/Breeding, A/B/O

Word Count: 3000

Relationship: Dark!Steve x Fem!Reader x Dark!Bucky Trigger Warnings: nonconsensual/dubious consent, forced pregnancy/breeding, A/B/O dynamics, abuse of power(?). PLEASE DONT READ IF THESE OFFEND YOU (PS Everyone: I’m sorry to redirect everyone to another blog but I’m too nervous about having 'missjaywrites’ as only a secondary blog. The first blog post on miss_jay_stone with stay but that blog is officially abandoned. Henceforth everything will be posted here.)

Being a doctor meant stressful moments, being a military doctor meant stressful days, weeks, months, or years. However, being a doctor specifically for the Avengers was an entirely new level of pressure. Being the person to patch up or perform surgery on literal superheroes made you miss working in the middle of warzones. You knew one wrong move could quickly spiral into a major issue, but you knew this when you took the job.

The choice itself wasn’t easy, there were more than enough reasons for you to respectfully decline, reasons like; despite being as accomplished as you were, you were still fairly young, the pressure was enough to age someone half a century, there were about a dozen security measures in place to make sure you said nothing to anyone, numerous contracts and NDAs to sign, and possibly the biggest reason to say ‘no’ was what you really were. An omega. You could very well be arrested because of how many official government forms you’d falsified and signed stating you were a Beta. You did what you had to do to accomplish your goals and it landed you in the medbay of the Avengers compound, often in close contact with the numerous Alphas on the team.

In your opinion, you were pretty physically average and never thought of yourself as someone that turned heads. That was more than fine by you, the less attention you had on you the better. Recently, though, you felt something subtle change, you always felt like somebody was looking at you, even if nobody else was around. The constant feeling and incessant nagging in the back of your mind sent a chill up your spine daily. There were some days where you found yourself feeling something like an internal tug towards whatever alpha was close by and now more often than not, the closest alpha was one of the two blue-eyes super soldiers. If you had listened to the alarm bells in your head, you would have left your job the moment you felt something strange.

You would’ve moved to Calgary or Portland or Dallas, but you brushed it off as silliness and an overactive imagination. And because of that, here you were, stuck in a web of your own design, your protruding stomach a reminder of the mistakes that led to this situation. Of course, you’d love them when they arrived but that wouldn’t lessen the naivete you felt for falling into their game. Their words forever holding your heart and soul firmly in a vice grip. “C’mon, doll, you can be our good little ‘mega and get everything you could ever want” “We can keep your secrets safe, we’ll make sure nothing bad can ever happen to you.” The words seem to play on repeat in your mind. You can pinpoint the exact moment a small mistake led to where you were now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8 Months Prior~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wow, where are you going all dolled up like that?” Your colleague and friend Alex asked as you stepped out of the storage room with a bundle of clothes in your hand. He paused typing his report to watch you gather your things. “I’m going to a 50s themed party with a guy I’ve been seeing and he’ll be here to get me soon,” you answered, motioning to the very-50s inspired outfit you wore. “Lucky you, kid, knock him dead but use protection,” he called with a chuckle as you left towards the elevator. You rolled your eyes at his comment but got a chuckle out of it yourself. He loved acting like he had 25 years on you instead of 10. The entire elevator ride down you were checking to make sure everything was perfect and not a hair was out of place.

You didn’t even look up when you stepped out of the elevator into the lobby. You did however look up, when you collided with a firm body. Your apologies were stopped by two things; the feel of cold metal on your back thru the thin fabric of your top and the strong scent, familiar scent of cedar & sandalwood and sage & pine. “I’m so sorry about that Captain Rogers, Sargent Barnes; that was totally my fault for not looking and I’m incredibly sorry to have almost steamrolled you,” you rambled awkwardly as you hurriedly tried to step back and put space between you and them. It took several long moments before Bucky removed his hand from your back, putting both in his pockets.

“Don’t worry about it, accidents happen,” Steve said with a smile that just didn’t seem quite right. There was an uncomfortable couple of seconds where you felt their eyes raking over you and you would’ve sworn their pupils dilated. “You know, it’s funny, you look like you’re straight out of a magazine from the 40s,” Steve said with a chuckle to break the silence. “Thank you, sir, I have a date at a themed party and this is the theme,” you sheepishly replied. The blond cleared his throat to cover what almost sounded like a growl at the name ‘sir’ and his features momentarily hardened when you mentioned it was a date. His smile was quick to return “well we don’t want to hold you up, enjoy your weekend, Doc and we’ll see you around.” You politely thanked him and returned the pleasantry before stepping passed them to leave. If only you had looked back, you would’ve seen them begin an intense, hushed conversation before they disappeared into the elevator.

That little conversation seemed to be when all of this started, but it was only little things that never drew much thought. At least, it started small; things on your desk would be moved, lights would be left on when you showed up the next day, your door would be unlocked, just little things that you couldn’t definitively say you did or didn’t do and the feeling of surveillance being minute and random. Then it got bigger; clothes you’d left at the office would disappear like jackets you kept in case you got cold or a spare change of clothes if what you wore got messed up, and papers you were sure you’d put away would be scattered on your desk but the feeling of being watched was more often, and one or both of them often came around for seemingly any reason. Like when Sam came in to get stitches after a mission, Bucky stood to the side almost brooding when you only mildly acknowledged him to tend to his friend.

Then alarms started to go off in your head but you ignored it. They were celebrities, they were superheroes. There’s no way on Earth they’d give you more than a second though. Your internal alarms kept going off; you never felt alone anymore, even in your own home. Your cozy little home that you’d fallen in love with always felt like somebody else was there or had been there. You often felt like your skin was burning, especially when they were around which was now multiple times a day, you always seemed to run into them. Bucky was normally quiet when you crossed paths, always asking if you felt okay and commenting on your flushed and flustered appearance, taking two steps forward for every step you took away from him. Steve seemed to be more physical whenever you two met around the building, he’d pull you into a friendly hug before you could object and make conversation with you, often brushing hands with you or setting his hand on the small of your back.

It went on like that for two months and you’d never been more thankful for fall to turn to winter, the cold breeze helping to sate your increasingly uncomfortable temperature. You thought everything had passed when you started to feel more normal and they stopped coming around you as often.

One night you decided to stay late to get some reports finished, submitted, and filed properly. It was perfectly fine for a while but then you felt yourself heating up again. Even after removing your scrubs and changing into some clothes you stored here, you were still burning. Soon you were fidgeting in your seat, trying to find some way to quell whatever what happening with you. You ended up nearly running to the bathroom to splash cool water on your face and get something to drink but you should have just gone home.

When you took two steps back into your lab, you were immediately pulling back against someone’s broad chest with superhuman strength. On instant contact, a familiar and unnerving scent surrounded you; cedar and sandalwood. It was Bucky hold your back flush against his chest. Panic set in seconds later when you felt him pressed into your lower back, the size alone was enough to take you out of your paralyzingly-afraid state. But it wasn’t like that helped any; you were an average human and he was a Super Soldier, it took no effort to keep you in his grasp. All he had to do to keep you in line was move one hand around your throat and growl quietly in your ear.

“Easy, doll, if you move too much he may have to hurt you and that's the last thing we want,” a calm voice said, the tone almost soothing. Steve stepped into sight from where he’d been looking at some things on your shelf. “I know you’re probably a little confused but we’ve been keeping an eye out for you. Keeping creeps away at bars, making sure your train ride home goes without incident, taking care of the men you go on dates with. You’ve quite the active social life doll,” his voice was tender as he approached you, gently stroking your cheek.  By now your eyes were wide with bewilderment as your brain attempted to process this situation. “We want you to be our good little Omega, start a family with you, and give you everything you could ever want or need,” Steve continued when your attempt to speak came out in a whimper.

Just as you went to correct him, Steve stopped you, cupping your cheek “please don’t lie to me, doll, we can’t create a future built on lies. We always thought you were a cute little Beta but after running into you that day, we both got a nice strong whiff of your cleverly hidden Omega scent, made us both incredibly hard, especially in that outfit that looked like it was from our time. That little incident made us see you for what you are; a good little ‘mega perfectly tailored for us, made to be our girl and have our pups. Unfortunately, we had to wait sometime to wean you off of those nasty chemical suppressants but now that you’re on the verge of your first heat, your body is more ready than it ever will be to take us,” Steve explained in that eerily calm voice, the intimacy of the town and him gently stroking your cheek was easily beginning to jumble your mind as it told you to do what you’d been fighting for years, what you hoped to always avoid.

“Steve,” Bucky grumbled, finally speaking up when his friend paused, he’d started steadily grinding his hips against yours for friction. “I-I can’t, I d-don’t want this,” you stammered out, nearly biting your lip off to keep yourself from whimpering or moaning as you felt Bucky’s hard-on against you, so close to where you needed but didn’t want it to be. “Well, that’s why we’re giving you a choice, princess. We don’t want anything bad to happen to you and if you’re our girl we can make sure nothing bad ever happens to you. You’ll be the safest person on the planet. Alternatively, people will find out about your status and well, perjury, falsifying federal documents, and falsifying medical documents are serious. You’d lose your medical license permanently and it’ll be at least a decade in prison but that’s not what we want,” Steve reassured before planting a small but quick kiss on your lips and smiling.

“C'mon doll, you can be our good little 'mega and never have to do anything ever again, you’ll never have to worry about money, job security, gross bar creeps, medical issues. We just wanna take care of our girl,” Bucky whispered in your ear, his tone too gentle for the situation. When you began to object again, a strong cramp in your abdomen had you nearly double over with a pained moan. You’d have been on the floor if Bucky wasn’t holding you and Steve wasn’t in front of you. “We can make all of this pain go away right now, just say you’ll be our best girl,” Steve coerced as he moved a few strands of hair out of your face. You knew you couldn’t open your mouth without moaning in pain or screaming so you furiously shook your head. Steve continuing to stroke your cheek, though small, was enough to distract you from noticing Bucky untying and pushing your shorts down.

As much as you hated yourself for it, you moaned out in surprise when you felt Bucky’s cool metal fingers rubbing your clit slowly. The man let out a groan and pulled his hand back, smirking as it glistened in the dimmed lights of the lab “fuck, Stevie, she’s so wet for us.” The words renewed your sense of panic and you began struggling hard. That seemed to be all it took for Steve to let go of his restraint. He lunged forward and captured your lips in a harsh, hungry, and dominating kiss. The blond wasted no time ripping your shirt and bra away, sending buttons flying to the floor. He didn’t break away from the bruising kiss as he began to fondle your breasts, paying extra attention to the nipples. In your state of unwanted pleasure, you didn’t notice Bucky quickly unzipping his pants and pushing them and his boxers down enough to free his aching member.

An entirely new sense of panic filled you when you felt his head nudging at your entrance; you would not make it through this in one piece, they were going to split you in half. When Steve’s lips finally left yours, he haphazardly pulled his member out and pulled you down until your face was level with his cock. When you didn’t do anything, he seemed to signal to Bucky who then buried himself into the hilt and moaned out happily, his breathing hitching as he mumbled “fuck, so tight, feels s'good.” Just as anticipated, you opened your mouth in a silent scream of pain and forced ecstasy, he gladly took the opportunity to thrust into your mouth, making you gag when his tip hit the back of your throat.

It took them no time at all to set a bruising rhythm, their moans and groans combined with your muffled cries of pleasure and fear filled the moan. You hated the way you felt your body betray you, how your core ached from Bucky to go faster, how your mind was quickly falling into the role of a submissive little Omega that you’d avoided all your life. Pretty soon you were beginning to move with them, the logical part of your brain being overshadowed by the need to please the two Alphas violating you.

“That’s it doll, that’s our good little Omega, such a good girl cooperating with her Alphas,” Steve cooed soft praises as he proudly watched the last of your resolve vanish. He took one of your hands and wrapped it around the part of his cock that wasn’t in your mouth, helping you build up a good stroking motion before letting go. He held your hair in a makeshift ponytail and tugged whenever he felt you run your tongue along the veins. Bucky on the other hand had a vice-like grip on your hips as his thrusts gradually became erratic. He reached underneath you and started rubbing your clit quickly, this time with his flesh hand. “C'mon doll, cum for your Alphas, you’re gonna feel so good being our Omega,” he muttered into your ear, nipping at your earlobe.

You couldn’t stop yourself. Between his words and the way he rubbed your clit and Steve’s praises and encouragements, you didn’t stand a chance against doing what he asked. You came with a muffled scream as your searing orgasm raced through every one of your veins, leaving you in a seemingly endless state of white-hot euphoria. You could barely acknowledge the feeling of Bucky erupting inside of you, filling you with his seed. His thrusts slowly becoming more languid.

“C'mon, hurry up,” you heard Bucky say, even though it sounded muffled and far away to you. You admittedly whined at the loss of his member even though he still held you up. You coughed when Steve removed himself, finally taking in deep breaths of air. They switched places quickly, Steve emitting a groan as he entered you more gently than Bucky did. This time, you didn’t hesitate before taking Bucky’s cock into your mouth, just following the part of your brain that said to submit to them, that they alone could bring you this much pleasure and everything they promised. Steve gave a few thrusts before he pulled your hips flush against his and spilled himself with a content moan.

You all but collapsed to the floor when they were done, them being the only reason you didn’t. Bucky scooped you up bridal style after Steve wrapped his jacket around your used, naked form. You were only semi-conscious as they carried you out of the lab, barely awake enough to mumble out “where are we going?” “We’re going to our room, little 'mega, and we’re gonna keep doing this every night until we see you round with our pups and we’re gonna make sure you’re treated like a princess, our princess,” Steve said, using his soothing tone from earlier. Barely clinging to consciousness, you merely nodded. The last thing you remember before passing out into sweet, sweet dreamland was you saying “alphas know best.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Current~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You looked down at your stomach before looking back at the sonogram in your hands; clear as day, you could see two 8-month-old babies. You’d stopped fighting when the pregnancy tests turned positive, they were very clear that no matter where you went, they’d find you and bring you home. They kept their promise about giving you everything you could ever need or want and protecting you. They kept their promise to keep you safe and always be there for you. You resigned from your position and didn’t renew your rental agreement, officially moving in with them in a bigger room. Once you safely passed the second trimester, they claimed you as theirs and let you claim them as yours. You’re not sure if you’ll ever forgive how this started but it wasn’t so bad.

[eugenebondurant]

those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant  || ch. 1

Read on AO3 here ★

Summary: When Easy comes into the town of Alsace for the night, Carwood and Ron are billeted together in a room with one bed. Carwood's got pneumonia, Ron is fretting over him, and both think the other should have the bed.

Pairings: Carwood Lipton x Ron Speirs

Genre: Fluff, sickfick, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: None!

A/N: This fic is based on a paragraph from Stephen Ambrose's book Band of Brothers. I couldn't believe that I had a ready-made "there was only one bed" sickfic for Speirton, and of course, my brain took that and ran with it. That said, this fic is based solely off the portrayal from the HBO miniseries and is meant to be taken in that pseudo-fictional universe, and no disrespect is meant to any of the real guys whatsoever :)

The night air was bitterly cold, sharp and still like a blanket over the town of Alsace even as the line of Army trucks rumbled through the streets. Carwood got out far earlier than his aching muscles wanted to; he hopped down from the bed of the truck as soon as the lights of the town could be spotted, mindful of his responsibility despite the protests of his body and the men in his truck who urged him to stay put and let somebody else take his job for the night. Carwood would do no such thing, but he appreciated it all the same; he knew without a doubt that most of his friends and fellow soldiers would gladly take on the walking patrol for him and let him rest, but he wasn’t one to shirk his duties, even when sick, and especially not when he could take any burden and risk away from his men.

He fell into step beside the slow-moving caravan, letting the familiar sound of the men’s tired conversation act like a balm to his mind that ran ragged with worries of attacks, endless checklists, and making sure everyone and everything was taken care of. They weren’t expecting any resistance through Alsace, but no soldier worth his salt - especially one just emerging from Bastogne, Foy, and Noville - would let down his guard so easily. Like the other noncoms walking beside their trucks, Carwood kept a sharp eye out for Krauts, hostile townspeople, or even rowdy paratroopers who’d had a bit too much whiskey and a bit too little peace of mind. Their vigilance would pay off when everyone was safely billeted and everyone accounted for.

He muffled a cough in his sleeve, wincing at the sound of it and the accompanying pain in his chest. He wondered briefly if he should check in with a medic before the night was through, but he had other things to worry about before he worried about himself.

“Hey, Sarge,” came a voice from the truck in front of him. Carwood looked up and saw George Luz’s face peek over the tailgate, cheerful as ever despite the shadows under his eyes that told of loss and pain and utter exhaustion.

Carwood gave him a smile. “What’cha need, Luz?”

“You sure you don’t want one of us to take the patrol?” he asked. “You really should try and take it easy. Uh, sir,” he added quickly, lest the first sergeant mistake his concern for insubordination.

Carwood chuckled. “Thanks, Luz,” he said. “But I’m ok. It’s not much longer till we’ll be stopping anyways. You know where you’re billeted?”

“Malark says he does, so I’ll follow him,” Luz said with a grin. “He’s useful, from time to time.”

Carwood shook his head and couldn’t help but smile. “That he is.”

He was going to ask George to see to it that everyone riding with him knew where they were billeted - not that the boys didn’t look out for each other, but it always helped to have a reminder - when he heard his name being called further down the line.

“See you later, Luz,” he said, getting a jokey salute in return, which made him smile. He picked up the pace and jogged down to Lieutenant Foley, who looked a little surprised when Carwood walked alongside him.

“No offense, First Sergeant, but you look like hell,” Foley said.

“None taken,” Carwood said calmly. “Though I can’t imagine I’m worse than most of the men, sir. You needed to see me?”

“Uh, yes,” Foley said, a little sheepish with how smoothly Carwood had diverted the attention away from himself. “I wanted to make sure you knew we don’t have to go ahead with the OP tonight.”

Carwood breathed a sigh of relief. He’d hoped for the men’s sake that they wouldn’t have to bother with setting up an OP on the far edges of town; it would have been more miserable than anything to have to stay awake and alert out in the cold while everyone else was sleeping in warm houses. He’d thought about who he’d pick for OP duty if it had been needed; aside from himself, he couldn’t bring himself to choose anyone. He was glad he didn’t have to.

“Thank you, sir,” he said. “The men will be very happy to hear that.”

He and Foley slowed as the trucks rumbled to a stop in what looked like the city square, men unloading themselves and what little gear they had onto the icy cobblestones and awaiting direction.

“Get some rest, First Sergeant,” Foley said. “The men need you in fighting form.”

“Yes, sir,” Carwood said obediently, knowing as well as Foley did that the noncoms wouldn’t rest until all the men were settled. “I better try and get the guys headed in the right direction.”

He and Foley parted ways, Foley to look after his platoon and Carwood to find anyone who looked lost, especially the replacements. The only thing those kids had ever known of war was the front lines, and they could probably use some help getting to where they needed to go.

He was especially keen on easing the veterans into a position of friendly responsibility for the replacements, reminding them that they had been just as green and just as eager to please as these kids were. He found a few stragglers and told them within earshot of the veterans to stick to their sergeants and corporals; their squads would most likely be billeted together, and it was a safe bet to follow their noncoms. Even the surliest of veterans couldn’t easily protest when Carwood shepherded one of the replacements over to them, and Carwood felt confident that concern for their fellow soldier would override any reservations they might have.

He had just steered a replacement barely eighteen years old into Bull’s kind and compassionate circle of influence when Lieutenant Speirs walked up to him, helmet held under his arm, messy curls falling over his forehead.

“Lipton,” he said by way of greeting, his usually stern features softened by tiredness. “Are the men getting settled?”

“Yes, sir,” Carwood answered. “I think Sergeant Randleman’s is the last squad to get into their billets. Everyone else is accounted for.”

Speirs gave a relieved sigh. “Good. Thank you. Do you know where you’re billeted?”

Carwood shook his head. “No, sir.”

“Me either,” Speirs said. “Come on, let’s see what we can find out.”

Carwood walked with the Lieutenant as the empty trucks started to depart, content to let Speirs find someone to give them directions. Now that he knew the boys were settled, he was starting to feel the weight of his own exhaustion; worse, his body was starting to give up on the defenses he’d shored up against his illness. He felt the chill all the way through to his bones, and every breath he drew rattled and ached in his chest.

Carwood felt Speirs’ gaze on him as they walked, particularly after a rough volley of coughs that seemed to take more energy than he had left. He recovered and huddled further into his jacket, cradling his rifle in his arms that crossed over his chest.

“You sound terrible, Lipton,” Speirs said.

Carwood gave a dry laugh. “Thank you, sir.”

“No, I mean it,” Speirs said, his voice colored with concern. “Have you gotten that checked out?”

Carwood shook his head. “Haven’t gotten around to it, sir.”

Speirs huffed. “Well, I can’t blame you. But you’re seeing a medic before you sack out, and that’s an order.”

Carwood sighed. “Yes, sir.”

“In fact - ” Speirs waved someone over; Carwood didn’t have the energy to see who. “Let’s get that done now, and then we’ll find out where we’re staying, and we can go straight there.”

Carwood didn’t miss how Speirs kept saying “we”; he felt a warmth that took the edge off the night air at the Lieutenant’s concern for him. He let Speirs steer him to sit on the bed of a truck that was still idling, allowing Speirs to take his helmet off for him almost tenderly and gently prying his rife from his stiff arms.

“Doc Roe’s going to take a look at you,” Speirs said.

Carwood looked up and met the brown eyes of the Cajun medic, kind despite their tiredness. “Hey, First Sergeant,” Roe said calmly. “What’s going on?”

Carwood shrugged. “Cough. It’s been pretty bad for a day or so.” It was no use lying to Doc Roe; not only would it not help, he would also be able to see through it in a second. The medic had become so accustomed to Easy Company’s tells that he could read every man like a book when it came to their health.

“Okay,” Doc Roe said kindly. He fished around in his bag and pulled out a thermometer, which Carwood dutifully took in his mouth as Roe continued to check him over.

“Dry cough or wet cough?” he asked.

“Wet,” Carwood said around the thermometer.

“Any chest pain when you breathe or cough?”

Carwood nodded. 

“I’d ask if you were tired and achy, but I think you’d be feeling that way even if you weren’t sick.”

Carwood gave a soft laugh at that and was pleased to see a small smile tip the medic’s lips. Doc Roe took the thermometer out of his mouth and moved to see it better in the light of a streetlamp.

“Yeah, that’s quite a fever you’ve got there, Sarge,” he said. “It’s probably pneumonia.” 

Carwood appreciated how easily he delivered the news; there was no hint of alarm or fear in his voice, and it did wonders for his nerves, and, he suspected, Speirs’ nerves as well. The Lieutenant had been standing beside them the whole time, giving Doc Roe room to work but still close. 

“I guess I shouldn’t even try to convince you to get evacuated,” Roe said.

Carwood gave a breath of a laugh. “That’s probably wise. I can’t leave, not when we just got here.”

“I figured,” Roe said, sticking the thermometer back in his bag and taking a small metal case out. “In that case, I’m gonna give you a shot of penicillin to see if that helps clear things up, and I want you to come find me or send someone for me in the morning so I can check you again. Alright?”

“Alright,” Carwood agreed. He’d often mused on how much authority medics had in a company; any man would be loathe to disregard their orders, higher ranking or not. Carwood had no desire to disregard what Doc Roe ordered; he was just thankful that Doc Roe was willing to make one last check-up when he was just as dog-tired as everyone else.

Roe administered the shot in his upper arm, the twinge of pain that normally wouldn’t have bothered him at all somehow magnified in his already sore body.

“Thanks, Doc,” Carwood said, pulling his jacket over his shoulder again and taking his helmet and rifle back from Speirs as he stood. “Get some rest.”

“Yeah, you too,” Roe admonished. He exchanged friendly nods with Speirs before he turned to go, placing everything neatly back in his medical kit.

Carwood looked up at Speirs. “You should find out where you’re billeted, sir.”

“We both should,” Speirs answered, easily deflecting any hidden insinuation that it was a burden to be looking after the First Sergeant. They walked together to where the officers and their assistants were circled, making sure everything that needed to get done tonight was done.

“Anybody know where we’re supposed to be?” Speirs asked, without any of the formalities that Carwood would have had to employ. Sticking with a Lieutenant when you were nearly too gone to carry a conversation did have its perks, Carwood thought.

Sergeant Vest shuffled through the paperwork he kept on his person at all times. “For you, Lieutenant Speirs, says here I’m to deliver your mail to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Boucher, which is...” He handed the paper to Speirs, who looked the address over and received vague directions about where in the city the house might be.

“‘Butcher’ in French,” Speirs said with a tired laugh, handing the paper back to Vest. “Mr. and Mrs. Butcher. Sounds delightful. You got an address for First Sergeant Lipton in there, too?”

Vest thumbed through his papers. “Uh, right here.” He scanned the paper. “He’s with the Bouchers too. Same house.”

“Thank you,” Speirs said, readjusting his rifle strap on his shoulder. He turned to Captain Winters. “Anything we can do, Dick?”

Winters shook his head. “Everything’s taken care of, thankfully. We’re just about to turn in. You two saw to it that the men got squared away?”

“All settled,” Speirs agreed.

“Good,” Winters said. “Colonel Sink wants a meeting tomorrow, so be at battalion CP by 0900.” The redheaded captain looked his First Sergeant over, concern and compassion in his expression, and Carwood knew Winters hadn’t missed his visit with Doc Roe.

“We’d be glad to have you at the battalion meeting, Lipton, but your presence isn’t required.”

Carwood straightened his shoulders and met his captain’s gaze. “Thank you, sir, but I’ll be there. I want to have all the information I can to help the men.”

Winters nodded, as familiar as any of them with muscling through sickness and exhaustion to do his job.

“We’ll see you in the morning, then,” he said. Turning to Speirs, he said, “Ron, could I have a moment before you go?”

Carwood stepped back to a respectful distance as Speirs moved closer to Winters, their conversation low enough to not be intelligible over the last truck engines and the tapering conversations of the exhausted officers. He didn’t need to hear what they were saying to know what they were talking about, though. Speirs bid Winters good night and came back over to Carwood, starting them in the direction of the home of Mr. and Mrs. Boucher.

“I really am fine, Lieutenant,” Carwood said as they walked together.

A smile quirked the corners of Speirs’ mouth. “Awfully self-important of you to assume the captain wanted to talk to me about you, Lipton.”

Carwood felt himself flush with more than fever, immediately wishing he’d bitten his tongue. “Sorry, sir,” he said quickly. “I didn’t - ”

“It’s ok, Lipton,” Speris said with a chuckle. “I was only joking. We were talking about you, as you so astutely guessed, and I assured him you’d get some rest.”

“Yes, sir,” Carwood said. He tried to let the sound of Speirs’ laugh ease his worries of having insulted him or being insubordinate.

Speirs looked over at him after a moment. “You don’t know quite what to make of me, do you, First Sergeant?”

That’s an understatement, Carwood thought. “How do you mean, sir?”

Speirs shrugged. “You’re not afraid of me.”

“No sir,” Carwood agreed. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“Nor do you believe those stories about me.”

Carwood caught a cough against his sleeve. “No, I don’t.” It wasn’t that he thought Speirs wasn’t a brave, tough, formidable soldier - he was glad Speirs was on their side, and was thankful to have him as their leader. He just had never been able to reconcile the heartlessness of the stories he’d heard about Speirs with the man he knew. Even when he was C.O. of Dog company and their contact had been limited and formal, Carwood had always thought of Speirs as a fair, reasonable man who would never be so nonchalant with another man’s life.

The stories had their use, Carwood knew; but he, for one, didn’t put any stock in them.

Speirs studied Carwood’s face in the light of a streetlamp. “But you have your reservations about me.”

“That’s not true,” Carwood said sincerely. “I think you’re a good leader and a good soldier. I think Easy’s lucky to have you.”

“I don’t mean about Easy and being a soldier and all that,” Speirs amended. “I mean, thank you, but that’s not what I was getting at. I just meant... I don’t know, as a person. As a friend.”

Carwood looked up. “A friend, sir?”

Speirs couldn’t help a soft chuckle. “Yeah, Lipton, a friend. Someone you don’t have to call ‘sir’ all the time, or ‘Lieutenant’.”

Carwood frowned. “And call you just... just ‘Speirs’?” he asked. It sounded wrong coming out of his mouth, like it was disrespectful.

Speirs shrugged. “Or you could just call me Ron.”

Carwood was so surprised he drew a sharp breath that quickly dissolved into a cough. Speirs slowed to let Carwood catch his breath, putting a steadying hand on his arm.

“I’m fine,” he managed when he could breathe again.

“I know,” Speirs said easily. “Doesn’t hurt to take a second, though, and make sure.”

They started to walk again, and it didn’t escape Carwood’s notice that Speirs had slowed their pace.

“You could’ve just said no,” Speirs said.

Carwood looked up at him. He could hear the teasing in the Lieutenant’s voice but was still keen on erring on the side of caution. “What do you mean?”

Speirs smiled. “Instead of nearly choking to death, you could have just said you didn’t want to call me Ron. I wouldn’t have been offended.”

Carwood allowed himself a small smile. “Sir, if I was only pretending to have pneumonia, it would be for something a bit more important than not offending you.”

Speirs laughed then, a comforting sound so different than the sounds Carwood had learned to associate with war, especially from officers. It had been a long time since he’d heard a laugh like that, and he drank it in as deeply as he could.

“Rightly so,” Speirs said with a smile. It struck Carwood that Speirs’ features were more suited to that smile than the serious scowl he’d seen so often; it made him think that Speirs must have smiled a lot in peacetime. He found himself wishing he’d known Speirs before the war, and hoping to know him after it was over.

“So, what about it?” Speirs asked. “Could you manage dropping the formalities? Or is it all too anti-Army?”

Carwood chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll try, sir.” Then, after a moment, “I guess you could call me Carwood, if you wanted.”

“You guess? I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

He looked up at Speirs. “No, it’s... it might be kind of nice. Nobody in the Army’s ever called me by my first name.”

“Ah, so there is a little bit of anti-Army in you after all,” Speirs said with a grin. “Ok, Carwood. That’s a hell of a name.”

Carwood laughed. “Thank you.”

They reached the home of Mr. and Mrs. Boucher, the warm light from inside spilling out into the street where the two officers stood and waited patiently for someone to come to the door after they’d knocked. If Speirs had been worried the Bouchers might live up to their name, he was let down; the door opened to reveal a tiny, old woman with long silver hair and a surprisingly gentle smile.

“Amerikanisch?” she asked.

“Ja,” Speirs answered. “Mrs. Boucher?”

She smiled. “Ja, willkommen.”

She opened the door wider and let them in, closing the door on the cold night behind them as they stood just inside, waiting for direction. She seemed perfectly at ease with two strange soldiers in her home and beckoned them closer to the fire. Her husband strode over from the kitchen doorway, greeting them each with a smile and a handshake.

“Hello,” he said jovially, in heavily accented English. “Very good to have you here.”

“Thank you,” Speirs said, returning the man’s smile. Carwood let Speirs do the talking, muffling a few rattling coughs in his sleeve, his head swimming with fever and exhaustion.

“Sind se krank?” Mrs. Boucher asked, concern etched on her face.

“Your man is sick?” Mr. Boucher translated, asking Speirs.

Carwood gave a surprised chuckle as Mrs. Boucher tutted and put a warm hand to his cheek. “I’m alright,” he said with a smile. “Ich bin gut.”

“Liebling,” she cooed. Darling . Carwood had heard parents call their children that, and it made his chest warm with affection for Mrs. Boucher.

“Kommen sie,” she said, taking his hand. He’d said that to prisoners enough to know what it meant, and he was thankful he was going to a much better fate than an Army prison. He met Speirs’ eyes, asking if he should go with her, and he nodded with an amused smile.

“Papa, mach bitte tee und schnapps fur die soldaten,” she said as she led Carwood out of the living room and down the hall.

“Ja , mama,” he heard Mr. Boucher say. Carwood followed her into a small but homey bedroom, a fire crackling cheerily in the grate and a colorful quilt on the four-poster.

“Gut?” she asked him, studying his face.

He smiled down at her. “Ja, danke,” he said sincerely. He would have been happy for anything that wasn’t a snowy foxhole, and this tidy, cosy bedroom was more than he’d dared hoped for. This was a greater kindness to them than the Bouchers could ever know, he felt incredibly grateful to them while she patted his hand and smiled up at him.

“ Gut ,” she said, satisfied. “Ich werde nachdeinem tee sehen.”

He didn’t know what she’d said, but she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and went back out to Speirs and her husband, leaving Carwood at the door of the bedroom. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to get into bed and sleep for a week, but he checked himself; Speirs should get the bed, since he was a Lieutenant. It wouldn’t be right for Carwood to take the bed and leave Speirs to sleep on the floor.

Though his body protested, he didn’t have a bit of hesitation or resentment in his mind about it. He would take the floor, and he was grateful for it; it was warm and dry and safe, much better than sleeping in the snow among tree bursts and German artillery. Compared to what he’d been living through, what all the men of his company had been living through, the hardwood floor of this little French house was heaven on earth.

He took off his helmet and set down his rifle, half-listening to the sound of quiet conversation coming from the living room, unable to keep a smile from his face when he heard Speirs’ laugh. 

Maybe we could be friends, he thought as he took the woolen blanket from his pack and spread it out on the floor. Carwood and Ron. He gave a soft laugh. He liked the sound of that.  

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[welcometothepenumbra]

JUNO STEEL AND THE TIME GONE BY (PART ONE)

SOUND: WIND BLOWING. FOOTSTEPS.

THEIA: Caution: radiation detected at. Fatal levels. Turn back. Turn back.

User safety tip: this is. A very bad idea. Suggestion: activate Theia Global Map. To search for shelter.

Caution: I cannot act without user permissions. User permissions are needed. Awaiting user permissions.

JUNO: (GRUNTS)

SOUND: PUNCH.

THEIA: You appear. To be punching your own face. Would you like. Some help with that?

JUNO: Just… shut up… (SIGHS)

SOUND: RUSTLING, THUMP.

THEIA: For your safety. I do not recommend. You lie down. In this location.

THEIA: Reporting potential threats active as of last user scan. Threat one: a massive sandstorm. Threat two: fatal radiation. Threat three: this area of the desert is recognized by the Martian Wildlife Foundation as a protected breeding ground for. Peepers.

JUNO: I said shut up!

SOUND: CHIRPS.

THEIA: Playing previously-downloaded information on peepers.

JUNO: (GROWLS)

THEIA: Native only to the northern deserts of Mars, peepers went uncaptured and unresearched for several centuries after their discovery.

SOUND: MORE CHRIPS.

Above ground, peepers resemble colonies of small, tunneling creatures. Which pop into and out of the ground and make a noise not unlike Earth’s groundhogs or meerkats.

SOUND: MORE CHRIPS.

Researchers assumed these creatures to be individual organisms until three hundred years ago. When the first peeper was successfully brought into captivity. And those small rodent-like structures were discovered to be the sensory organs of a much larger subterranean predator.

SOUND: CRUMBLING, DEEP ROAR.

JUNO: Enh, took you long enough.

SOUND: ROAR, BLASTER SHOT, SQUEAL. QUICK FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING. WIND BLOWING, FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.

VOICE 1: Hey. Hey, you.

JUNO: Go away, I’m busy.

VOICE 1: Hmph.

SOUND: FABRIC RUSTLING.

JUNO: Hey– hey, what the hell are you doing? Put me down, you– what the hell? I-I know you.

VOICE 1: A correction: I know you. I have been told it is important to speak accurately when beginning a business transaction.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Brown jacket; tough skin, broad shoulders; dark, hard eyes that looked like they’d draw blood if you got too close. This guy had been stalking me since what felt like a lifetime ago, back in Hyperion – and if I’d been scared of him then, seeing him up close only made it clearer how easily those big, scarred hands could snap my neck.

My name’s Juno Steel. And I’m… (SIGHS) just a guy who wanders into near-certain death in the desert and then gives the glad eye to his probable killer.

Y’know, saying that out loud, a lot of criticisms I’ve taken over the years suddenly make a lot more sense.

VOICE 1 [BROWN JACKET]: My hovercycle’s radiation shield is only active when the engine is running. Which means I’m going to go now, and you’re going to come with me.

JUNO: You were watching me… before the museum, and b– and before the subway, you were watch—

No. No, look, I’m done. If you want to spy on me that’s fine, but I don’t care. I’m doin’ this on my own.

JACKET: Dying?

JUNO: That’s… not necessarily the plan, but if that’s the last move I can make solo, then sure, that.

JACKET: (AFTER A PAUSE) He’ll find you, you know.

JUNO: What?

JACKET: The one who gave you that eye. Have you activated it recently?

JUNO: Not for a few hours, but—

JACKET: Then he has your location. He will find you – and whatever’s left of your mind, once the radiation’s done with it.

Unless you come with me.

JUNO: Yeah? Why should I?

JACKET: I know how to remove that cyber-eye from your head. I know how to set you free.

You can get in the sidecar when you’re ready.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

JUNO: (GROWLS)

JACKET: Good. Be sure to strap in.

JUNO: Not until you tell me where we’re going.

SOUND: RUSTLING.

Of course! Another man of mystery. Listen, I’ve really had enough of these, so if you can’t even tell me where we’re going I’ll– oof!

SOUND: THUD.

JACKET: I’ll tell you. I was just looking for a helmet in your size.

JUNO: What the… how many helmets do you keep in this bag?

JACKET: Bike safety is important.

SOUND: ZIP.

We’re going to see someone about a job.

JUNO: Very specific, thanks. (HUFFS) Where?

JACKET: Where all of the most important jobs on Mars happen. The Cerberus Province.

SOUND: WHOOSH. ENGINE STARTS.

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): To be honest, I still wasn’t convinced my mind hadn’t gotten roasted. They say after one hour uncovered from the radioactive sun you start hallucinating, and after five it’s time to say bye-bye to a good chunk of your brain. I’d been out there… well, somewhere between those two options. My watch said it had only been ninety minutes, but on the other hand I wasn’t wearing a watch.

JACKET: So. Do you have a good reason for walking out in the desert? Besides your death wish.

JUNO: Besides my what?

JACKET: It’s well-documented.

JUNO: Documented where?

How long have you been watching me? Is that how you found me out here?

Hello?

JACKET: Hello.

JUNO: (SLOWLY) How long have you been—

JACKET: We are almost at the Cerberus Province. Buddy will answer your questions when you speak with her. If this job is not to your liking, well… back into the desert with you, and you die a free man.

JUNO (NARRATOR): So it was out of the frying pan, into the biggest hideout of thieves and murderers and outlaws in the solar system, I guess.

(SIGHS) We saw the volcanoes first. A ring of ‘em, dusty and dormant. And then, at the center of that ring…

JACKET: The lighthouse.

JUNO: What?

JACKET: The lighthouse activates at night, to guide ships to the spaceport beneath it. I hear before it was installed more ships landed inside volcanoes than was acceptable.

JUNO: So, like… one ship?

THEIA: Would you like to research the number of ships—

JUNO: (MUTTERING) Shut up.

JACKET: I will not. Are you done throwing up, now? It cannot be helping your radiation sickness to stay out here.

JUNO: I think—

JACKET: And if you vomit on my hovercycle I cannot be held responsible for what happens to you next.

JUNO: (SPITS) I think I’m good.

JACKET: Get on, then.

MUSIC: ENDS.

SOUND: WHOOSH. ENGINE RUMBLES.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The lighthouse was huge; an intricate crossing of plates and pipes that looked like somebody had spun a spiderweb from gold, then grabbed its center and pulled it up to scratch the clouds. It was even beautiful, for a minute. Then I wondered if you could see the Piranha’s body from up there, and it just made me feel sick.

The lighthouse wasn’t what I expected from the myths about some ramshackle pirate hideout hidden underneath the desert. According to the stories, the Cerberus Province was more meeting place than city – a non-stop crime convention to trade business cards and thermonuclear weaponry. It didn’t have a Dome, after all. Living there long-term would’ve been suicide.

But the lighthouse didn’t line up with the stories. Neither did the Cerberus Province itself, once we slipped underground to see it.

JUNO: What the hell are all those?

JACKET: Do you mean the buildings, or the tents?

JUNO: I-I don’t know, both?

JACKET: Well. Some are buildings, and some are tents.

JUNO: I-I know that! I mea—

Look, that lady’s drying sheets on a balcony. That’s a grocery stand in a brick house. That guy’s taking his clothes out of a laundromat!

JACKET: It is very dusty on Mars.

JUNO: Wh-why do they live down here? Nobody lives down here. Nobody.

JACKET: Not by choice. When we land it is imperative that you stay close to me and not look too long at anyone else’s property.

SOUND: ENGINE STOPS. CROWD NOISE, MUSIC FADES IN.

JUNO (NARRATOR): When he was done parking we walked out into the street. The buildings and tents I’d seen from above were thick here, people packed elbow to elbow, vendors shouting into the streets.

CROWD VOICES (IN BACKGROUND): Peepers! Getcha pickled peepers over here! Plutonian candy! Delicious Plutonian candy, Plutonium extra!

JUNO (NARRATOR): You get so lost in a place like that you forget you’re part of it, until it reaches out and grabs you.

VOICE 2: Please.

JUNO: Ah!

VOICE 2: Please, you will help me. You will help me. The teecket they give me, the teecket, it is false!

JUNO: Uh-uh, ticket? I-I-I don’t—

VOICE 2: I have moneys. On Susano-o I am doctor, do you know this place? Bank account, years, interest thirty, I have… I have… Please, please, Tammono, you will help me, you will help me!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The woman was wearing a mask, but I’d knocked it crooked in my surprise, and… underneath…

Her skin, it… (SIGHS) God, it looked so painful. Big plates of cracking charcoal crust on a plane of soft, raw, red and gray. She looked burned, or… melting, or both. Long-term radiation damage. The kind of stuff they showed us in old academy videos and promised we’d never actually see. Th-that you’d have to be crazy to stay outside a Dome long enough to get it.

All of a sudden I noticed there were people all over the street wearing masks like that, people by the dozens that must’ve been covered in those burns, and if that many people needed those masks, maybe crazy wasn’t the problem.

Then Brown Jacket grabbed me by the shoulder and kept me moving.

JACKET: Juno. We have to leave now.

VOICE 2: Moneys I have, sir! Please, your vehicle, your vehicle!

JUNO: …What?

JACKET: I told you not to look too long at anyone else’s property.

JUNO: P-property?

JACKET: That bulge beneath that woman’s sleeve? A blood filtration bracelet – what some call a debtor’s tag. She is serving an indentured servitude to pay for her healthcare. If you attempt to do as she says, her treatment will end, and she will die.

JUNO: But… you’re just gonna let that—

JACKET: I have no choice. That woman is finished. She took an illegal ride to the Solar planets, became ill, and sold herself to live a few years longer. It is a common mistake.

JUNO: But her skin… how long has she been paying?

JACKET: I have seen similar surface-level symptoms manifest within two years.

JUNO: Surface-level. Yeah, sure, that sounds great.

JACKET: Not five hours ago getting too involved in a city’s politics nearly killed you. Do you really want to make the same mistake so soon?

JUNO: I…

No. No, I guess not.

JACKET: Good.

Now please. Get in this dumpster.

JUNO: What?

JACKET: I’m afraid I must insist.

JUNO: H-hey, put me down—

SOUND: THUD. PLASTIC RUSTLING, BOTTLES CLINKING.

Ah! What the hell was that for?!

JACKET: Have you used any of your eye’s special functions since we entered the Cerberus Province?

JUNO: What? I ha– I haven’t—

JACKET: In the interest of fairness, I should tell you that if you have, I will be forced to crush your head with this dumpster lid.

JUNO: How is that any fairer— whoa, whoa, whoa, there! No, I-I haven’t used it. You said that’s how Ramses is gonna track me, right?

JACKET: That is good. And yet we are being followed.

JUNO: What?

JACKET: Quiet. Listen. There is a figure behind me, slight, wearing a black hood. Do you see their face?

JUNO: No, it’s… covered by a scarf. They could’ve just come in from outside. They’ve got sand all over—

JACKET: Their clothes have sand – but not their boots. It’s a disguise. We may have to relocate our meeting.

I am going to step into this shop and buy a large decaffeinated Jovian tea with two sugars. You will stay here and watch to see what they do.

JUNO: Wait, is th– is the tea some kind of code? What does it mean?

JACKET: It means I am thirsty. It is large because I am very thirsty, and decaffeinated because I have a predisposition to addictive—

JUNO: Okay, yeah, I get it. Just go get your stupid tea, I’ll watch the road.

JACKET: Thank you.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I had to hand it to Brown Jacket: he was right. As soon as we stopped moving our hooded tagalong stopped, too.

SOUND: BELL JINGLES.

She sat at a roadside stand and looked over the menu, flipping pages too quickly to read ‘em. I knew a tail when I saw one.

Jacket came back out a minute later sucking down something that smelled like gasoline with two sugars.

SOUND: BELL JINGLES. FOOTSTEPS.

JACKET: The deed is done.

JUNO: What deed?

SOUND: SMALL EXPLOSION.

CROWD VOICES: (YELLS) Sintoloo ga voo?! The hell?

VOICE 3: Baweebis! Baweebis!

VOICE 4: What the hell are they trying to say?

VOICE 5: They’re saying hood, hood! I think they saw whoever planted the bomb!

VOICE 3: Gawoosh! Baweebis, baweebis!

VOICE 4: Is that them? Is that the low-life that blew up my store?

VOICE 3: Baweeeeeeeeeeebis!

VOICE 4: Outer Rim bum! Learn to talk right!

Hey, she’s getting away! Get her!

JUNO: …Wow.

Did you pay them to say that?

JACKET: No. I paid the other customer to translate anything they said as ‘hood.’

JUNO: But if this place has so many people from the Outer Rim—

JACKET: There are too many languages spoken on the Outer Rim to keep up with. We have large communities from Balder. Yama.

JUNO: Susano-o.

JACKET: Indeed. And besides: they lost. Now take these.

SOUND: KEYS JINGLING.

JUNO: Keys?

JACKET: When the commotion settles, you will remove yourself from the garbage, go down this alley, and take your second left. You will look for the analog lock that matches this key, and you will wait for me there – at the lighthouse.

JUNO: The lighthouse? Really? You have the key to that big tower—

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

Hey! Hey, where the hell are you goin’?

JACKET: (FADING) To ensure the area is secure. Now be silent. Dumpsters cannot speak in the Cerberus Province.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I did what the big guy told me to do. Waited a few minutes for the dust to settle, and when I was pretty sure nobody was watching me I went down the alley.

The lighthouse was on the edge of town, and the closer I got the more radiation-ravaged the place looked. But there were no warning signs, no public health notices, just an advertisement:

VOICE 6 (FROM SPEAKER): Feeling itchy? Hearing things? Gamma rays got you down? Visit the Cerberus Board of Fresh Starts for your Blood Filtration Bracelet today! No down payment required!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The, uh… lighthouse came soon after.

SOUND: KEYS JINGLE. DOOR CREAKS.

The inside was a bar: dark wood, plush cushions. Even the dust looked nice, which was good, because there was a hell of a lot of it. I helped myself to an unmarked, extremely potent-looking bottle behind the bar and took a seat to examine it more closely with my eyes, mouth, and liver.

JUNO: Here’s lookin’ at you, lighthouse. Seems like both of us are back from the grave.

SOUND: ICE CUBES CLINK.

VOICE 7: If you keep stealing my wares, darling—

JUNO: (CHOKES)

VOICE 7: —I’ll return you to that grave myself.

SOUND: CLUNK.

That’s ten thousand creds of fine liquor you’ve just spilled. A life like yours, I’d think you’d be a little more careful about putting yourself into debt with a stranger.

SOUND: MECHANICAL WHIR.

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO: (CHOKING) Who the hell are you?

VOICE 7: The person you’re here to meet. Now go get yourself a drink. I’ll be taking this one.

JUNO: Hey, that was mine—

VOICE 7: And now it isn’t.

SOUND: ICE CUBES CLINKING.

It’s nothing personal, darling; I just have a natural tendency towards envy and I’ve always believed in doing what feels natural. Like now, for example: it feels natural for me to say I’ll pay you the ten thousand creds you owe me if you shut up and get yourself a drink.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The woman who’d just taken my drink was a bombshell. By which I mean she looked extremely dangerous and made a hell of an entrance. She had big plumes of flame-red hair trailing over her neck and half her face, and a dress so avant-garde I would’ve believed her if she said she got it next year. The first thing she did when she sat down was put a blaster on the table in front of her and, in the process, reveal she had another one, two knives, and what looked like a grenade strapped to her leg.

She looked ready for a war. Hell, she looked ready to fight on both sides.

SOUND: BOTTLE UNCORKS.

JUNO: So you’re the big guy’s buddy?

SOUND: CLUNK. LIQUID POURING.

VOICE 7: That’s what he called me? His buddy?

JUNO: I’m sure he’ll be disappointed to hear you disagree.

SOUND: CLUNK.

VOICE 7: I don’t. It’s just funny of him. Fine, you can call me the same. Buddy.

JUNO: Seems a little early for that.

VOICE 7 [BUDDY]: I’m friendly.

JUNO: And him?

BUDDY: He’s not interested.

JUNO: No, I mean, what’s his—

BUDDY: Besides, we aren’t here to talk about him; we’re here to talk about you. Juno Steel: ex-cop, ex-patsy for Ramses O’Flaherty, currently extremely unemployed and not taking it very well. You’ve got an eye problem, and I don’t mean like glaucoma. You’ve just spent a few months being someone else’s stooge – or thirty-eight years, depending on how you count it – and you’re just about ready to stooge stag. That’s where we come in.

What’s the matter? Did I get any of that wrong?

JUNO: No. That’s what’s the matter.

BUDDY: Oh, I’m sorry. Why don’t you pour us both a drink and I’ll try not to upset you so much, darling? What’s the danger in just… sitting and listening?

JUNO: No, you know what? I’m tired of listening. It’s someone else’s turn to listen. Got it? The second it looks like you’re trying to get me to do something I don’t like, I’m walking out into the desert with a beach towel and no sunscreen. The second. ‘Cause I am not trading one smooth psychopath for another, you got me, I am not—

BUDDY: I hear you. I’m stubborn, not deaf. Sit.

SOUND: CREAK.

JUNO: Hmph.

BUDDY: There. Doesn’t this feel so much more civilized?

JUNO: Gotta say, Buddy, I kinda walked into the desert to get away from civilized.

BUDDY: I know. And that was a very big move. Made me act faster than I planned to, but… you got lucky, and a position opened up a little earlier than expected.

JUNO: Position? That’s why you’ve been watching me.

BUDDY: Gainful employment. A lot to gain, too.

JUNO: I’m not walkin’ into any more bad contracts or big debts.

BUDDY: And you don’t have to. Like I said, I always keep my business partners happy, Juno. And unlike your two-bit former employer over at the Vixen Valley, I know that doesn’t come by force. Father always said, there are only two ways to keep the chickens in the coop: either build a big wall, or make them never want to leave.

JUNO: Didn’t think there were many farmers on Mars.

BUDDY: He was a prison warden, actually. Incredibly popular with his inmates. A bit less popular with Dark Matters.

JUNO: Rest in peace.

BUDDY: Yes, I would assume the rest of him is in one piece, but we never found it. Regardless, Juno, my point: scouting the talent I want is something I take very seriously, and you are only one name on a very, very long list. If you do not want this job, don’t waste my time. The only reason you’re here now is because I need three people, my third missed his flight to Mars, and you happened to be available.

JUNO: Wow, you sure do know how to make a lady feel special.

BUDDY: I know how to make a special lady feel special. Maybe if you’re very good that’ll be you.

Now, a toast. To a new, and brighter, future—no, no. (CHUCKLES) I’m guessing we’ve both had entirely too much of that. To… letting go. Moving on.

JUNO: Sure. To moving on.

SOUND: GLASS CLINKS.

BUDDY: Hm.

Now.

SOUND: MECHANICAL WHIR.

The job.

MUSIC: CHANGES.

As I think you’ve already gathered, our work isn’t exactly on the spotless side of the law. My friend and I work in the craft of what we call “relocation services.”

JUNO: Which I’m guessing means you relocate other people’s things to your pockets.

BUDDY: My, you are quick. They aren’t always things, but… spot-on.

JUNO: So is that what you need me for, some kind of heist? ‘Cause I—

BUDDY: No, no, the heist has been finished for weeks. It’s the sale, darling. We need you to help us with the sale.

JUNO: You… want me to work the cash register on your black market deal?

JACKET: The sale is the most dangerous part of any job in the Cerberus Province.

JUNO: Ah! Where the hell did you come from?!

JACKET: The door.

BUDDY: Do try and focus, Juno. Yes, the sale. This town is crawling with undercover law enforcement and people who expect you to do your work for free but don’t feel like telling you ahead of time, and neither sits particularly well with me. So, we’re going to make certain we get paid, or else we're not handing over anything.

JUNO: Yeah, okay. And speaking of which, what are we selling?

BUDDY: The sale’s in three hours, in this bar. We’ve agreed to meet somewhere public, which means within the next three hours we’ll have to make this place public. We’re opening it for business.

JUNO: We’re– wait. You own the lighthouse?

BUDDY: Just the first floor. I couldn’t sell it if I wanted to, honestly; too much radiation leaks in through the roof for anyone to want it. At any rate, once we open, my big friend is going to work the bar; you’re going to play sad drunk at one of those tables by the door.

JACKET: You will be drinking carbonated tea. Focus will be crucial.

JUNO: Sounds like a fun party.

BUDDY: While the buyer and I make the exchange, you will watch the crowd and contact me on covert comms if you notice anyone acting strangely. We take no chances here, do you understand? This is too important.

JUNO: Okay, but what are we sell—

BUDDY: Hopefully it all goes off without a hitch and you get paid for sitting around and enjoying some tea. Then we’ll show you how to remove that eye, and you can decide whether this kind of work interests you.

JUNO: I feel like I could answer that question a lot faster for you if I knew what we were selling.

BUDDY: There’s no need to get snippy, Juno. You only needed to ask. Show him.

SOUND: CLUNK.

We will be selling this briefcase.

JUNO: And… what’s inside the briefcase?

BUDDY: Oh, that’s none of your concern.

JUNO: Well, if I wasn’t concerned before, I sure as hell am now! Listen, I told you, if you make me do anything—

SOUND: THUD. GLASS CLINKS.

JACKET: You listen.

SOUND: MECHANICAL WHIR.

MUSIC: STOPS.

BUDDY: Thank you. I understand the word of an outlaw probably doesn’t mean much to you, Juno – but it will mean even less if you don’t let me finish a sentence.

JUNO: Hmph.

BUDDY: You can’t have it both ways. You can’t both know everything and live a life just for yourself. You understand that, don’t you?

SOUND: MECHANICAL WHIR.

MUSIC: STARTS.

If you aren’t sure you want to stay here? Then don’t stay. Don’t get involved. That’s how Hyperion hurt you, isn’t it? I don’t think that’s your fault, of course. That’s just what cities do. Once you get attached to somewhere or someone… you can’t break apart without leaving some of yourself behind.

JUNO: The hell is that sappy music coming from, anyways? It’s driving me nuts.

BUDDY: What mu– oh, that. Darling, would you?

JACKET: (GRUNTS)

SOUND: THUNK. MECHANICAL WHIR.

MUSIC: STOPS.

BUDDY: Thank you. Semi-Autonomous Music Machines. They’re all over the province and they all act like this. You’ll tune them out eventually.

JUNO: A-alright, so. You want me to watch the door while you make your trade-off. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious—

JACKET: Don’t use your eye.

JUNO: Yeah, thanks, I got that. Anything else?

BUDDY: Just one thing. Give him his weapon.

SOUND: CLANK.

JUNO: There’s… no stun on this.

JACKET: Laserproof vests are too common in these jobs. That will punch through them.

JUNO: So you just want me to kill someone? Just ‘cause you say so?

BUDDY: I assure you that if anything goes wrong, he’ll deserve it.

JUNO: But—

BUDDY: Then don’t. Use your last few hours of freedom and walk to an early death in the desert, based on the fear that something might go wrong, you might have to shoot, and the shot you fire might kill them. But those seem like silly odds to throw your life away on.

My business and my past are my concerns, Juno. Just do the job, and don’t get involved. Then, you go and do whatever it is you want to.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Don’t get involved.

I kept repeating that to myself for the next three hours, as we cleaned the place up and opened the doors and let the crowd filter in. The gun was heavy in my pocket. I wished I’d taken my blaster off the Piranha, but it was too late. She was gone. The whole life I’d known her in was gone.

And meanwhile, in this life, the sale was just a few minutes away. I sat at my table by the door and watched the crowd mob the bar, the big guy toss drinks, and Buddy schmooze like she knew everyone here personally.

SOUND: CROWD CHATTER IN BACKGROUND.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): I’ve just received confirmation that he’ll be here shortly. Anything strange on either of your ends?

JUNO: Uh, yea– yeah, now that you mention it, I’ve been meaning to have a dermatologist take a—

JACKET (FROM COMMS): Do not complete this joke, Juno, or you will regret it.

JUNO: Oookay.

JACKET (FROM COMMS): There is nothing over here.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Juno?

JUNO (NARRATOR): I listened in to the crowd around me, all the faces and costumes of crime, and I didn’t hear anything weird about them – but plenty about Buddy.

CROWD VOICES: (OVERLAPPING) Buddy’s back! Buddy, sha, Buddy! The Lighthouse, open again! Has anyone seen Buddy? She was always the talk of the town, I hear… Buddy Aurinko, after all this time!

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Juno?

JUNO: (QUIETLY) Buddy Aurinko…? (NORMAL VOLUME) Hang on, is your name actually Buddy?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): That’s what I told you to call me, isn’t it?

JUNO: So, what, is his name actually The Big Guy?

JACKET (FROM COMMS): That would be absurd.

JUNO: Then what is it?

JACKET (FROM COMMS): We are not there yet.

JUNO: We’re not at names?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Quiet, you two! He’s just come in the door! Do you see him, Juno?

JUNO: Uh, little guy, gray monosuit, kinda looks like he’s allergic to light?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): That’s the one.

JUNO: Doesn’t look like a crime boss. Too nervous.

JACKET (FROM COMMS): Not a good sign.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Experience suggests that that might just be his face, actually.

VOICE 8 (FROM COMMS): Eh… what was that?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Ah, there you are, Mister Rasbach. It’s been too long.

VOICE 8 [RASBACH] (FROM COMMS): We… spoke yesterday, I think?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Yes, but you are late, and that does mean it’s been too long, doesn’t it?

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): (NERVOUS LAUGH) Ah, I- uh, I see. You must excuse me, Miss Buddy, both my tardiness and my uncomprehending. Solar is not my… language initial.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): I’m only razzing you, Razzy. You manage much better here than I would on Balder, I’m sure. Please, sit. Would you like a drink? Two drinks? You’ll have to forgive me for trying to upsell you, but, a small business owner has to keep her claws sharp.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): It… does not appear you starve of the business. Yesterday this bar was not even in operation, and today—

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): I’ve been away a long time, and I’m impatient. Surely you know how that is. I imagine you must miss Balder terribly.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Is so… is so. (NERVOUS LAUGH) And yet, there are the creds to be made in these planets Solar, yes? A business top profitable. Do you know how it is to support a family, Miss Buddy?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): I pick my own family, Raz, and the first thing I make sure of is that they can support themselves.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Perhaps is so, here, but on the Outer Rim, after the War? This is not always possible. My planetmen, they desperate, eh? They take the first ship from Balder they can find, they swallow the poisoning radiation, they need the healthcare to live. And so we give them this support… for the price. We support them, them support we – is cycle top beautiful, I think.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Do you mind if we get on with this? I have customers to attend to.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Of course.

(CLEARS THROAT) Shall we… ah, show the wares?

JACKET (FROM COMMS): Watch the crowd, Juno. This is the moment.

SOUND: CLICK, HISS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I wanted to see what the hell was in that briefcase, but… I tried to remember what Buddy told me. It was none of my business. Don’t get involved.

So instead I scanned the crowd. And that’s when I saw her come in through the back door.

JUNO: Big guy, our friend with the hood from earlier just showed up. Didn’t you say you lost her?

JACKET (FROM COMMS): What is she doing?

JUNO: Nothin’ yet.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): This is really… the Curemother. You have it!

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Now. You pay me, you take this, and your group makes just oodles and oodles of money for you to send back to all the little orphans and victims and puppy-dogs on Balder, or whatever your story is today. Do you even have children, Razzy, or is it all just a story?

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Does it affect our business, whether or not ‘tis so?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): I suppose not.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Hm. Now, the transaction. We will be using my comms, as agreed.

SOUND: BEEPS.

Security transactional set to the audio, then the fingerprint.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Are we ready?

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): You read the bill of sale first, yes? Ensure is no confusion.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Alright…

JUNO: You see her, Buddy?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): (UNDER HER BREATH) Ah, yes. Over by the music machine, not moving.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Ah, u-uh– what?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Oh, forgive me, Razzy. A Solar colloquialism: if something is ‘by the machine and not moving,’ that means it’s straightforward. The money is to be transferred directly from your account to mine, and the key to the Curemother’s briefcase from my account to yours.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Ah. I-I have not heard this expression before.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): And you never will again. I, Buddy Aurinko, consent to this transaction. And the fingerprint…

SOUND: BEEP.

Your turn.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): A-ah, thank you.

JUNO: She’s moving. Buddy, you’ve got someone coming right at you!

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): I, Rasbach the Eldest, Agent Acquisitional of the Cerberus Board of Fresh Starts—

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): What’s your game, Rasbach?

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): My name? Miss Buddy, I was just saying…

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Finish it, then. Quickly.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): I conzent to this transaction.

SOUND: BEEP.

There. Is done.

JUNO: He did it? Wait, really?

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): It appears so, yes.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Well. The business well done.

JUNO: Buddy, look out! She’s right on top of you!

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Well, Miss Buddy. It has been a plea— (CHOKING)

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Rasbach!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The hooded woman ran up behind Rasbach and without a sound a knife appeared in her hand. Then it disappeared again… into Rasbach’s back.

RASBACH (FROM COMMS): Who… who?

VOICE 9 (FROM COMMS): (GROWLS)

SOUND: THUNK.

You! Give me the briefcase.

JUNO: Stall her. We’re on our way.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): Stay where you are, the both of you.

You don’t have the key to this. What do you plan to do? Break it open?

VOICE 9 (FROM COMMS): If you’re real, just give it. If not… get out!

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): You could damage what’s inside if you do, and then what use will it be? You– sound familiar. Do I know you?

VOICE 9 (FROM COMMS): I said get out! (GROWLS)

SOUND: METAL CLANGS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Then they were really at it. Hood took quick jabs, lots of ‘em, but Buddy was quick too, working that briefcase like a shield too precious for her attacker to stab. It was a good defense, but Buddy’s back was almost to the wall, and it wasn’t gonna be good much longer.

So Buddy raised her gun to turn the tide, but, with her focus split for just that half-second, Hood slashed at her fingers with the knife. Some people would’ve kept the briefcase instead of their hand, I thought. But Buddy wasn’t one of ‘em. She let go, and Hood had it before it hit the ground.

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): She has the briefcase, but I can’t get a clear shot with all these people!

JACKET (FROM COMMS): She’s running towards you, Juno. You know what to do.

JUNO (NARRATOR): My stomach and shooting-hand hardened. Still the same old Juno Steel, I thought. The Proctor, Swift, Pollock, Pilot, the Piranha – someone says shoot, and I say who’s next?

The thought made me sick. I was tired. I was just so, so tired of making the same old mistakes, again and again.

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

VOICE 9: Get out of my way!

JUNO (NARRATOR): So I made a new one instead.

VOICE 9: Move!

JUNO: No!

JUNO & VOICE 9: (GRUNTS)

BUDDY (FROM COMMS): What do you think you’re doing, Juno? Do you want her to stab you?

SOUND: BLADE CLANG.

JUNO: (PAINED) Too late.

VOICE 9: Move or I’ll kill you.

JUNO: Lady, if you knew the kinda week I’ve had you’d understand why that doesn’t scare me much.

SOUND: LOUD BLASTER SHOT. CROWD SCREAMS, RUNS OUT.

JACKET: This is an emergency situation. All customers must leave immediately.

SOUND: CLATTERING.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The diversion was just enough to distract her for a second, so I tried to take a swing at her. She was too fast for me and my fingers missed her face but grabbed her scarf, and she… did not like that.

VOICE 9: (HOWLS)

JUNO (NARRATOR): I could see why she’d covered herself, because she had a look too memorable for covert ops: bright green hair and bright, wild eyes. But, I didn’t know her.

Buddy did, though.

BUDDY: Vespa?!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Green hair looked back, panicked, her eyes darting. She pulled so hard her sleeve came up and I saw what was on her wrist.

A debtor’s tag, for indentured servants. Just like that Outer Rim woman in the market. And hers had something written on it: Vespa I., five.

Vespa was in a cold sweat. She looked like she was gonna be sick.

VOICE 9 [VESPA]: Not… real… you’re not… real!

BUDDY: Vespa, it’s you! I thought you were—

VESPA: You’re not real! Get out of my head! (FERAL GROWL)

JUNO: (PAINED GRUNT)

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

BUDDY: Vespa! Come back!

JACKET: Buddy… she’s gone.

BUDDY: She can’t be gone. I saw her, I swear, I saw her!

JUNO: You’re gonna need to slow down a little for the murder victim by the door, Buddy. Who the hell is Vespa?

BUDDY: She’s… a dead woman. I saw her… die. But now she’s—

Vespa! Vespa?!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

JUNO: Should we follow them?

JACKET: That depends. Are you injured enough that running will cause your organs to fall out of your body?

JUNO: Uh, not that bad, but pretty—

JACKET: Then we hide the briefcase and Rasbach’s corpse in the back room first. Then we follow. Quickly.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): We searched the streets for an hour, but Vespa was gone.

SOUND: KEYS JINGLE. DOOR CREAKS.

JUNO: Ow, ow… ow, ow.

JACKET: You make that noise a lot, don’t you.

JUNO: Ohhh, sorry, does it bother you? Don’t mind me, I’m just the guy who’s been playing peekaboo with his large intestine for the past hour— OW, ow, ow.

JACKET: You said your organs would not fall out.

JUNO: It was a joke! Do big caveman get joke?

JACKET: I do not know. I have never met one.

BUDDY: Stop it. Immediately.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

Where’s the briefcase?

JACKET: We left it in the back room.

BUDDY: I remember you saying that, but it isn’t here. And neither is Rasbach.

Well. It seems our sale was completed after all.

JACKET: He took the Curemother?

JUNO: He didn’t die?!

JACKET: But more importantly: we have the money?

BUDDY: He couldn’t take it even if he wanted to. Both of us would have to consent to another transaction. All sales final.

JUNO: So it-it’s done. The sale’s done. It sounds like it… worked out, right?

BUDDY: Do business with a glorified slave-trader once, then wash my hands of it for good. That was the plan. So yes, everything went according to plan. But… Vespa.

Karma comes in all shapes, doesn’t it?

JACKET: Buddy…

BUDDY: Her debtor’s tag, Juno. What number was on it?

JUNO: What?

BUDDY: I know she had one. I’ve been thinking about it for an hour and that’s the only option that makes sense. Just… tell me what it said.

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO: It-it was, uh… five.

BUDDY: Five?

Five years… I can’t…

Thank you for not shooting her, Juno. I’ve already lost her once. Losing her again… I think that would be the end of me.

(DEEP BREATH) The number on the debtor’s tag is the number of years they’ve been… owned. Vespa has been in the Cerberus Province without rest for five years. It’s a miracle that the radiation hasn’t killed her, unless… five years… Vespa, where have you been?

JUNO (NARRATOR): You could tell from the look in Buddy Aurinko’s eyes that the number of years wasn’t what bothered her. It could’ve been five months or five weeks or five minutes, and all it would’ve amounted to is the same thing: she felt hope, and she was terrified of it. The presumed-dead were walking in the Cerberus Province, and that was a nightmare. Because there’s peace when hope finally dies, when it stops moving and you can nail the coffin shut.

Buddy looked like she’d won that peace the hard way.

But there was movement in that coffin now, something pounding the lid from the inside, and if the old hope was so hard to bury the first time… who knew what kind of damage it could do the second.

MUSIC: ENDS.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you’ve enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you’ll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Joshua Ilon, Sarah Gazdowicz, Alexander Stravinski, and co-creator Sophie Kaner:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

SARAH: Um, I would say that I pretty much went as straight as I could with—

SOPHIE: (LAUGHS)

SARAH: —the suggestion– okay. Okay, okay. OKAY.

SOPHIE & JOSHUA: (LAUGH)

SARAH: No, I-I think I was predominantly influenced by the, the note that I was given about the character, which was – oh, like a Katharine Hepburn being, like, a major influence or source for the- how the voice should sound. And then the struggle began with maintaining it, not making…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: Did you know that The Penumbra has merchandise for sale? It’s true! The Penumbra has partnered with DFTBA to bring you the posters, shirts, and pins your heart desires. Just go to dftba.com and search for The Penumbra Podcast.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Regan, Ko, KC, Atha Lang, Vron, Charlie Spiegel, Minchowski, Jaimie Gunter, and the Princess and the Scrivener for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Time Gone By, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Alexander Stravinski as the Man in the Brown Jacket, Sarah Gazdowicz as Buddy Aurinko, William Schuller as Rasbach, and Chloe Cunha as Vespa.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert. If you wish to know more about our ever-expanding, infinitely-creative team of artists, musicians, editors, designers, and managers, you can read about them in the show notes of this episode.

I’m afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[howtohero]

#081 List of Handy Excuses (C)

It’s time for another installment of our highly popular list of handy excuses to use when you want to get out of doing something so you can go be a superhero (or like take a nap I guess, these excuses can be whipped out at any time, that’s how good they are) sorted in alphabetical order by job. (I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this forever, the last one of these was over 40 posts ago. Many of you didn’t even exist 40 posts ago!)

A B D E

Cable Guy

I have to go now, I have an appointment to fix someone’s cable (bonus points if you actually did have an appointment that you’re ditching to fight crime. The more real appointments you miss the more legitimate of a cable guy you are anyway {git-r-done!}).

Caddie

Oh sorry sir looks like you were a little off the mark, I’ll go find your ball for you (and then disappear to go fight crime).

Cage Dancer

I saw on the news that a flash-mob had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cage Fighter

I saw on the news that a superhero fight had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cameraman

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes for my news agency.

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes, not for my news agency, but to sell online.

Camp Counselor

All right kids, tonight’s exciting night activity is a game called “everybody closes their eyes until you stop hearing the sounds of a giant space crab being beaten up.”

Campaign Manager

I need to go find out who those superheroes and villains are voting for. If any of those heroes are voting for my guy or if any of those space slugs are voting for the other guy it could make for a killer ad.

Candlemaker

I’m going to go begin an apprenticeship at the Safed Candle Factory so that I can truly become a master at my craft.

Honestly man, maybe you should give up the superhero business. It’s beginning to affect your candlemaking work. You’re overworked, overtired and overextending yourself. You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.

Cantor

Allow me to dazzle these supervillains with the power of song!

Carnie

Beazye eazi’m leazeaveazing

Carpenter

I have to go star in an all carpenter version of Aladdin with musical numbers that include “Magic Carpent Ride” and “Joist Like Me”

Cartoonist

If I don’t provide my legions of fans four panels of comicy goodness they’ll riot

I Ii II I_

I just heard somebody refer to a cartoonist as somebody who makes animated cartoon and I must go correct them!

Cashier

Hey that masked bad guy just walked out of this store without paying for any of the snacks he wanted for his evil road trip, if I don’t stop him that money is going to come out of my paycheck and since he took three (3) bags of chips that’s the whole thing plus!

Catcher

I’m going to go stand behind the bad guy and call out plays for the superheroes.

I saw that there was a superhero wearing a domino-mask so I’m going to go and lend him my catcher’s mask because even that would do a better job of concealing his identity.

Catfisherman

I was catfishing this guy and it turned out that he wasn’t a regular guy but really he was a supervillain trying to catfish me and also he’s robbing a bank now so I’m going to go beat him up.

Cellist

I have to go hit the gym to build the muscle mass I need to actually lift my instrument of choice.

Remember FAO Schwarz? The toy store? With the giant piano on the floor? Yeah so I’ve been thinking a lot about that piano and… Do you think my cello would be like an in-scale violin with that piano? And I know they closed down a few years ago but that piano has to be somewhere right? Yeah so I’m going to go on an epic quest to go find it so I can see what my cello looks like next to it. (And then instead you go smack around a vampire or whatever with your cello, like a hero.)

CEO

I’m off to fly my golden helicopter to the golf course on the island that I own, nobody call me.

Honestly, CEOs mostly fight crime at night when they aren’t expected to be anywhere else so they don’t really need any excuses.

CFO

Just get fired for embezzling, then you can do whatever you want with your time.

Chairman

Just got a whole new shipment of chairs in. They’re gonna need some quality sitting in I mustn’t be disturbed for several hours. (I don’t know what chairmen do.)

Chauffeur

I have to go contemplate why “chauffer” is pronounced with an “sh” sound, if you need me I’ll be in my chateau.

I have to go sit in a car while my employer enjoys a very long, very lavish meal in a fancy restaurant. But don’t worry about me, I’ve got a bag of chips.

Cheerleader

I’m going to go spur on my favorite superheroes with the power of cheer!

Chef

I have to go contemplate why- oh, we did this one already.

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook.

Chemist

I’m bored of this singles mixer so I’m going to go back to my lab and have a mixer of my own. (That’s when a chemist goes and mixes random chemicals together to see what’ll happen. Fun fact: several superhero origins involve this kind of mixer.)

Chess Master

If you were any good at your job you’d have set things into motion months ago to ensure that you could leave all your gatherings to fight crime. You don’t need our help.

Clarinetist

I’ve gotta go kick a sea-sponge’s ass.

Cleaner

Boy those super-folk are making quite the mess if I get down there now maybe someone’ll pay me to clean it.

Clerk

No no no, those super-people are engaging in fisticuffs in a public square without having first filled out forms 42G with the supplementary forms 2AB and 32H to account for the missile-launching mecha and the time-displaced stegosaurus.

Clockmaker

Time for justice (again you’re allowed to reveal that you’re a superhero if you can get a good pun out of it!)

Coach

This ragtag group of superheroes needs someone to whip them into shape! (Bonus points if you then actually act as a superhero mentor to that ragtag group of heroes.)

If you’re at an event with any referees you can just go yell at one of them until you get ejected, then you’re free to do whatever you want for the rest of the night.

Coal Miner

Well, I’m off to go deliver one tenth of all the coal I’ve mined this year to Santa so that he can then redistribute them to naughty children, as all coal miners do every year.

Codebreaker

All you need to is leave a coded message wherever you were supposed to be and by the time your non-codebreaker friends and family members manage to break it you’ll probably already be back (or have died saving the world from Fieron the Sentient Forest Fire).

Colorist (Comic Books)

Did you know that old-timey comic books were printed in black and white? This is an absolute travesty and I am going to single handedly go back and color every single one of them. This will require me to be unavailable for several long extended periods of time.

Colorist (Hair)

I just had this great idea to dye my hair a whole bunch of different colors. This way my own head can act as my resume and people can see how skilled I am at coloring hair. This will probably take a while, nobody need me.

Composer

Ah I wrote some music that would literally be perfect for this battle, I’ve gotta get down there and play it for them.

Comptroller

Just assign one of the many accountants that work under you the responsibility of accounting for your absence.

Computer Scientist

Just hack into whatever database or security system you need to make people think you never even left.  

Construction Worker

Not one of those superheroes are wearing a yellow hardhat and that’s just an accident waiting to happen. I must go down there and hand some out.

I need to go catcall some people.

Conductor

This super-battle is filled with senseless chaos, clearly they need someone like me to step in and bring order to it.

Cook

Do we even need to do this? We have chef listed above. (You insolent buffoon there is a world of difference between a cook and a chef!)

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook. Longer than it would take a chef to cook as I have less experience and education in culinary matters.

Copyrighter

I have to go protect some patents (and the city!)

Copywriter

I have to go write some copy (and the city!)

Councilman

Just stand up in the middle of a council meeting and shout “this meeting is adjourned!” ten bucks says nobody fights you on that. [If we are wrong we will not send you ten bucks, or any bucks for that matter.]

Count

Has there ever been a superheroic count? I don’t think so. All the ones I know of are supervillains or blood-sucking vampires… or math-loving vampires.

Crane Operator

I have to go make sure there are some unattended cranes near that superhero fight so some scrappy kids can take control of one and knock out or distract the evil monster at a decisive moment in the battle.

Oh my gosh Karen I swear to god if you make one more joke about me operating a marsh-dwelling, long-necked bird, I am going to leave! (And then just wait for Karen to make another joke, trust me, it’ll happen, she just can’t help herself.)

Cross-Country Skier

For today’s cross-country ski I have decided to cross-country ski where no man, woman or child has cross-country skied before. In fact, if my ski-calculations are correct, no species of animal has ever cross-country skied across this country before. Yes, you guessed it, my destination for today’s cross-country ski is Antarctica, this will take me a very long time. Don’t wait up. (Of course we in the super-community know that Antarctica is one of the top-five destinations for Yeti cross-country skiers but the common-folk don’t know that so shhh.)

Cryptozoologist

Somebody finally got a good picture of El Chupacabra! I have to go and interview them! For science! (The jig is up Chupacabra, we’re coming for you!)

Curator

I have to get down to this super-battle and pick out the best pieces of rubble and dismembered robot parts to showcase in this new exhibit on superheroes/cool rocks/robot parts (you get to choose) that I am curating.

Customer Service Representative

Hey I think that superhero was in here buying a grappling hook the other day. I’m going to go see if he’s happy with his purchase. (Obviously he won’t be because grappling hooks are garbage.)

Cymbal Player

I’ve got to get to marching band practice. Without the loud, yet melodic, cacophony that my instrument produces how will my band earn the attention and envy of marching bands everywhere.

Captain Patriot lost his giant star-spangled discus! If I quickly paint my cymbals do you think he’d like to use them instead?

Tune in next time when we tackle all of the “d” occupations. As always if you know of a job that isn’t represented here by all means contact us! (Or leave a comment, or just, y’know engage with this blog somehow, please, so I know you’re out there.) And don’t hit be all like “Hey! you forgot counselor!” That’s just a fancy term for lawyer so you all have to wait like three years for us to get to “L”. In the meantime just use generic excuses like “I don’t feel comfortable with you asking me all these questions about where I’m always going. I am an adult, I should be allowed to come and go as I please,” or “I am going to take a nap.” 

[violetsystems]

#personal

Weekend two has started since being let go for financial reasons due to Covid-19.  Much like the lack of email communication from responsible parties, I feel I shouldn’t say too much more about it.  One of the last official trainings from that job I did complete was about Social Engineering.  I was twelve when my parents first put a second phone line in my room.  In that back bedroom I connected a WarGames-esque computer modem to my computer.  I would post the number up on local bulletin boards my mother and I frequented.  Before I had the computing power to run an actual BBS like Telegard, I had an open terminal open accepting random calls.  It was just me typing out on the other side.  Acting like the AI’s I read about in William Gibson novels.  I dreamt I was Wintermute fucking with random hackers on that phone line.  I did probably freak people out.  Computers were so new back then that everybody thought they were hacking a military grade silo.  Being twelve on the internet back then was far different than it is now.  I was playing Crucible the other day and the scripted team chatter caught me.  My character, a space trucker named Earl, wants to show a team mate a picture of his children.  They’re marooned on a lush space planet harvesting essence.  The character chides him to put the photos away.  She remarks the safety of his children is in jeopardy.  He mumbles and puts them away.  These days being an accountable adult on the internet with a twenty year resume can be frightening.  I worked in an academic environment for years where cancel culture had it’s place at times.  There is a fair amount of graffiti in my neighborhood that talks about “provoking culture.”  A very transgressive sentiment.  Provocation is a tricky word.  It doesn’t mean what you think it does.  It’s a test, yes.  One to make a person deliberately angry.  A trick to melt someone down to their base metals.  And in some ways, the universe has reared it’s head in my life with a fair amount of reminders of the culture I already wield.  I’ve faced my power.  Faced my privilege.  Face the very essence and critique I swam in for years.  And now ironically just like my signature line in an email locked out after twenty years.  I know nothing other than the time I spent here seems more valued at the end of the day.

I am an adult.  I’m pretty sure everyone figured that one out by now.  I’ve talked with people on this platform for years.  Opened my heart up about things.  Had it weaponized against me in varying degrees.  I weaponized it back at times.  And these days, it’s definitely apparent that many things have changed in my life.  I spent the entire last week decoupling my personal information from my work without access.  I had given up a personal number years ago to be on call twenty four seven on a new cellphone.  Ironically I have new service and a new number with the same provider.  That now rings the watch I could never get set up with my work phone.  I sat in the Verizon store for a good hour talking with the employees behind plexiglass.  Getting a job is always an audition.  I can’t exactly jump at getting a job at the moment or I void some of the benefits I’ve been promised.  I also don’t have written details about any of that in an email yet.  There are some details I do have and they relate to financial obligations I’m owed that people would rather be rid of anyway.  Again I’ve spent years talking vaguely enough about romantic feelings on the Internet.  I’ve seen those weaponized against me even worse.  I lost my job.  Not those feelings.  Ironically those feelings are still communicated loud and clear.  People expect you as an adult to handle your shit and remain accountable.  And there are also people out there who expect to catch you slipping.  And truth be told, this time is both the worst and best time for me.  When I reflect about how long I have been inside the culture of Information Technology, I know where I belong.  And for the moment I’ve been enjoying playing the Crucible beta for free.  I’ve had to be painfully clear that I don’t work for anyone right now.  This is for fear of someone jeopardizing the verbal agreements I still have no written acknowledgement of.  I haven’t signed anything.  I don’t know anything.  All I know is I am afloat on a wave of loss.  I’ve been riding that wave.  Out on my bike or running.  An eerie silence.  The phone only rings when it’s my parents.  My friends and people I saw daily are now gone.  No one seems to know how to get ahold of me other than my business email.  And every few days it’s something about still getting details.  I could go on and pine about it in an election year.  Someone could hone in on the message.  Retailor it.  Use it on the virtual campaign trail.  And it still wouldn’t solve anything.  I’d rather handle it myself and go back to the safe haven I’ve created for myself.  Here online in a community that respects each other’s privacy to a certain extent.  I cling to that respect I have here.  Because you don’t know the shame I feel losing something I worked so hard to keep.

I am not really ashamed at all now.  I had to get through all those feelings by myself the last week.  I will say that playing video games has been therapeutic.  Playing a closed beta in an inclusive and respectful environment has healed a lot of damage I feel.  The truth is the damage is far deeper than I really care to admit.  It’s twenty years of connections dropped in an ocean like a brick.  Probably for good reason.  It’s a massive disconnection of being known and yet exiled.  Fenced off to the side.  Made to feel like I am nothing without that time in my life.  And yet all the time I spent here seems worth more.  How we all learned how to get along and watch each other’s back.  How we learned that people can talk to you for hours and say nothing.  How conversations are just projections where you have no say.  And how we’re all fucking bored with that and would rather speak through memes, hints and clues.  The major clue phone alert being that I still love you.  Tumblr too.  But most importantly the person I always address in these.  I feel like a loser.  I feel like this was meant to be this way.  I don’t blame anything.  I just know how I survive.  I had four job offers ping my watch on my bike the other day.  I wonder if somebody is just waiting for me to jump at the first offer so they’ll be off the hook.  And again these are thoughts that are best left to myself.  I spend most of my business days thinking about them.  Dealing with the trauma that’s reached a frightening crescendo in my life.  Financially, I probably could sit the rest of the year out if need be.  But I only have three months of health insurance in the middle of a pandemic.  And I spent five months grappling with the concerns of my employees and their concerns about being at risk.  I don’t really have the luxury anymore to wonder if I’m at risk.  I don’t even think I mean anything to anybody anymore.  At least in my past life.  Other than you.  Let’s be truthful.  The signs and portents are still out there.  Nothing on that front really changed.  Although I think I needed to be set free from my old life.  A life that spends years plotting and harvesting information about me for no other reason than to trick me.  To provoke me into something I’m not.  And when the final showdown happens and the smoke clears, it’s just me and you and everybody else down here on the internet.  Playing games, staying safe, wearing masks, and treating each other like human beings.  Respecting privacy.  Being accountable for our actions not only in this public space but in the trust and intimacy of our friends.  I’m not ashamed to be here with all of you.  And I know you trust that I move forward with nothing to be ashamed about.  I’ve got some time to play games and be a community leader in my own way.  By just being me and showing the love.  All you need to do is stay on point.  <3 Tim

[talen77703]

Copyright Unknown_VariableX

Apathy, Cynicism and Sarcasm will help you out -- if there's nothing good on TV.

Mr. Clean, Advocate of Apathy Annihilomancy is fairly evenly split between those who learn it on their own and those who find a mentor. However, those who teach themselves, when they start to burn away the miscellanous parts of their lives, are already fed up with those parts. It's unusual for someone to destroy something because they still like it. Which makes Daniel Leidman unusual by association. A dedicated conspiracy theorist, Daniel spent a lot of time digging into old files and searching stuff on the internet from his room in his parents basement. Stuff on the High Altitude Atmospheric Research Project, stuff on the Philidelphia Experiment, stuff on germ warfare being used by the government on its own citizens; pretty much everything that people have ranted about on street corners and weblogs since time immemorial. While nobody could say for sure if they were/are actually true, Dan treated them that way. He beleived them all, even the ones that contradicted each other. It might have never progressed beyond that, if it wasn't for a minor dispomancer who lived in the area. Keith Anderson had managed to drink his way to enough minor mojo to make his 94 Honda levitate above his head for a couple seconds. While that would have been a neat trick, he opted to try for a more impressive feat -- drive all the way home in his condition without killing himself or anyone else. Technically, he failed. Nobody died, but the Honda hit a fire hydrant, rolled three times and knocked a power pole a little askew. The car was impounded, and even though the police knew it was his, they were not able to pursue the matter further; he'd crawled away from the crash, woke up sixty miles away on the interstate, and by all accounts hitched rides down into Southern Mexico. The power surges that ran through the grid after the crash, while noticed by everyone in that part of town, were shrugged off as "one of those things" by all but one person. Daniel was suspicious instantly, and for the next couple of weeks, his suspicions were fanned into a blazing pyre of paranoia. (In reality, one power line got snagged on a branch, so when they got the damaged pole fixed up, the cable snapped and sent sparks everywhere. And when they were working on that, Ted "Butterfingers" Butters dropped a hammer on another line, causing even more shorts and sparks, this time getting into the phone network. And when they were working on that... well, you get the idea.) Daniel, after about a month of this apparent electronic monitering, was almost totally out of his head, sure that he was going to be killed in his sleep with untraceable poison, or his family kidnapped and tortured, or both. He didn't get a lot of sleep and he didn't eat much, as results. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that if he totally disappeared, he could evade the secret police for a while, and if he destroyed his home and killed his family and pets, they could not be used as leverage against him. Heck, he'd be doing the living creatures a favor. One evening, he surprised everyone by making the family dinner. They were so surprised, in fact, they didn't even notice he ate nothing. Soon after, they were too tired to care. And shortly after that, all vital signs stopped. The pets also succumbed to the sleeping pill overdose. Daniel cried a long time after that. He's changed a lot in the three years since then, but he still starts to tear up if he starts thinking about it too long. After he got himself under control, he got out the gasoline and set the house ablaze. He took his dad's car, drove it out into the sticks until the tank was half empty, got out, and stuffed a time-delay explosive into the tank. That was when he started on a poorly thought out, rambling journey into the Occult Underground. Destroying his life, while painful, was also something else. It gave him a sort of power, power he spent a year and a half learning to control. The extreme change from comfortable life to barren drifting wasn't pleasant, but like the aches from a good workout, indicated improvement. While he didn't exactly thrive, he certainly adapted well. He shaved his head to simplify things and the numerous fights he kept getting into helped his muscle mass develop, until he resembled the cartoonish brand character for a certain cleaning product. This resulted in his nickname. In his never-ending search for Truth, he stepped on a few toes, and some of those toes were connected to feet that vowed to plant themselves so far up Mr. Clean's ass, he'd have to cough to get them out. But before those feet could act, Randy Factor the Entropomancer and the Reverend Dude showed up to settle Mr. Clean's hash for unrelated reasons. In the end, the big smack-down they were planning took a slight turn for the surreal. Nowadays, Mr. Clean would like to pretend that he needs nothing and nobody, and that nothing matters to him. It's all a lie; the key to his power is that he cares a lot, maybe too much. He breaks taboo a lot trying to keep his friendships with the other two tolerable, and he tends to live a bipolar existence; flushed with power from destroying something and feeling invincible, or drained and worried something will happen to the Reverend Dude or Randy. It's not a healthy way to live, but it's living regardless. Name: Daniel Seymour Leidman Personality: Paranoid, but very laid back otherwise. Seems almost totally burned out. Obsession: (Annihilomancy) The power that comes from destroying what we want to protect. Wound Points: 65 Rage Passion: People who rely on scare tactics and manipulation. His development of magick has given him, he beleives, an edge against those who rely on brute force, and what he used to fear, he now seeks to destroy. Fear Passion: (Self) Daniel is afraid of mind control, both technological and magickal. Specifically, he fears that he's already been manipulated and that's why he actually destroyed his old life. Noble Passion: Protecting the masses. Mr. Clean can't enlighten the masses as to what's going on because he doesn't know that himself... but defense is almost as good. Body 65 (Buff) General Athletics 40%, Swing Those Fists 55% Speed 60 (Flee!) Dodge 55%, Drive 15%, Initiative 50%, Handguns 30% Mind 55 (Conspiracy Encylopedia) Conspiracy Theory Lore 50%, Notice Threats 50%, Street Smarts 30% Soul 60 (A Morass of Conflicting Feelings) Charm 15%, Lie to Police 35%, Magick: Annihilomancy 40% Madness Meters Violence: 3H/4F Unnatural: 2H/1F Helplessness: 2H/2F Isolation: 3H/1F Self: 2H/4F Possessions: Mr. Clean is a Sterno, so possessions aren't much of a concern. He has clothes on his back and some footwear, and that's it. From time to time, he'll carry a cigarrette lighter or book of matches. Notes: Mr. Clean used to be insane, constantly in the grip of paranoid delusions. After talking to the Reverend Dude for a while, he's now just constantly holding back his paranoia so it can't latch on his neck and consume him utterly. An improvement, but only in relative terms. Mr. Clean knows all the standard formula spells for his school, and usually has around five minor charges. Randy Factor, Speaker of Sarcasm The first thing people usually say when Randy introduces herself is "That sounds like a porn star name." Sometimes she laughs, sometimes she shrugs, and on rare occasions, she punches the unfortunate person who said that phrase right in the head. But that's only when she's brooding over all she left behind when she traded in her old body for the new one. Years ago, "Quick" Rick Wright was half the mystic muscle for a cabal called Firewall, the other half being Stephanie Gregors, Bibliomancer par excellence. The cabal carried a lot of clout from Ottawa to Minneapolis. Quick Rick's run with Firewall ended when a ritual hunter named Bantam (like the chicken) started searching for somebody in the Underground willing to do something called the Ritual of Union (or Fusion, or whatever) with her. Being an enthusiastic risk-taker, joining this lady in a ritual he had no knowledge or understanding of beat the hell out of anything else he could do that day. In retrospect, he probably should have told someone in the cabal what he was going to do. Quick Rick met Bantam in a nice, secluded spot, and after some painful work with a pair of pliers (to remove the teeth with dental fillings), they completed the ritual. Rick lost... or so it seemed to the rest of the world. For the two souls fighting for dominance, the situation was the exact opposite. Rick won, but even after all these years, he's not sure what he won. Both in the sense of a contest, and in the sense of reward. He's not sure exactly why he chose to take the woman's body, even though he remembers being faced with the decision. He also remembers a lot of stuff he could not possibly have been alive to see, such as World War II... and the War of 1812... and the Hundred Years War. As near as he could figure out, Bantam was using the Ritual over and over again as a form of immortality, then started abusing it as a way to crush her enemies, and take what she wanted from their talents and abilities. Assuming that "she" is the right pronoun -- it's possible Bantam switched genders a lot. When "he" woke up in a woman's body, Rick was a bit confused. The rest of Firewall, on the other hand, was very aggressive. Nothing she could say or do could convince them, at least nothing that could be done in a firefight... which is all Firewall was interested in. Eventually, Rick got tired of trying to fight a losing battle, and got the hell out of town. Taking a new name, she decided to carve out her own little spot in the Underground, far away from her old stomping grounds. She met the Reverend Dude in a bar in one of the bad parts of town, when she forget which restroom to use. After some arguements and a truly hilarious fistfight (to Randy), they decided to team up. Two heads being better than one and all. Psychologically, Randy has gotten totally used to some parts of being female, and not so used to others. There are times in the morning after a long night "drinking with the boys" when she's so hung over that she forgets the female body was not designed to urinate while standing, for example. Luckily for her, the center of her personality revolves around risk-taking, and that was virtually untouched by the ritual and all absorbed memories, so she's taking it all in stride. She can be quite funny and very harsh at the same time, which is a defense mechanism from long, long ago, before Rick even learned Entropomancy. Deep down, she wants some peace and quiet, a moment in time where she's accepted as she is now, and where she doesn't have to say anything at all to anyone. But she knows exactly how bad the odds of that happening are. Name: Randy Factor Personality: If there's an exact opposite to cautious and conservative, Randy is it. "Let's let dogs vote!" seems perfectly reasonable to her. Obsession: (Entropomancy) Adrenaline Rush. In dangerous situations, the body is pumped with chemicals that make it faster and stronger. Randy wants to find the Perfect Rush; a sort of alchemical hormone mix that will turn her body superhuman under the right circumstances. Wound Points: 45 Rage Passion: Templar, Arch Nemesis. Back when Rick was still figuring out minor formula spells, he ran afoul of a wannabe alchemist who called himself the Templar. She doesn't like to talk about what exactly happened, but she implies he's still alive and kicking, and will happily regale people with her opinions on Templar's ancestry and personal habits. None are very flattering. Some involve sheep. Fear Passion: (Helplessness) Vegetative State. Randy doesn't like the idea of being kept alive by machinery in a hospital, aware of her surroundings but unable to do anything. Noble Passion: Spreading the Good Luck. Randy will sometimes cast Double or Nothing on people who are in a tight scrape or down on their luck. If she knew about Mak Attax, she might join. Or she might not. Body 45 (Hot Stuff) Gymnastics 35%, Slap Em Silly 40%, Quite the Looker 30% Speed 60 (Gymnast) Dodge 50%, Drive 25%, Initiative 35%, Throw 40% Mind 60 (Sure is Crowded In Here) Statistics 40%, Notice 25%, Handy(wo)man 25%, Memories of Bantam 35%, Greco-Roman Architecture 20%, Miscellanious Gematria Fragments 10%, Play Mandolin 20% Soul 65 (Party Girl) Charm 35%, Lie 30%, Magick: Entropomancy 40%, Avatar: Mystic Hermaphrodite 7% Madness Meters Violence: 3H/1F Unnatural: 3H/3F Helplessness: 1H/1F Isolation: 1H/0F Self: 6H/3F Possessions: Randy carries a deck of playing cards at all times. She also has an incomplete deck of cards, made of flat sharpened steel. She used to have a full deck as Rick, but wasn't able to make it out of Minnesota with it, as the other Firewallers had claimed and/or stolen back all of "Rick's" personal effects before she came out of the coma. She usually makes additional cards when a risk has gone sour and she's laid up for a while. She usually wears a denim jacket, blue jeans, and a baseball cap. Randy usually has from three to six minor charges, depending on how her luck has been lately. Sig charges are less common; one every three weeks is the average. The Reverend Dude, Cynical Clergyman Mainstream religion and magick typically don't get along well, especially Christianity. When someone from the mundane clergy enters the Occult Underground, it's sometimes out of a misguided attempt to "save" a particular person who's found something -- anything -- different from the church. These people either back out really fast and start looking up exorcism techniques (or call the Order of St. Cecil), or decide to go ahead anyway and get their heads handed to them by people who are perfectly happy riding the highway to hell, as it were. The Reverend Dude kind of fell between the cracks. Orville Thompson was born too late to experience the highs and lows and whoas of the sixties in America, but he still managed to get his head all turned around in the nature for truth, and in the search for it. In other words, he rejected the old time religions and started searching the others, trying to find a clue as to what was really going on. He's read more holy texts than most people know exist, some from religions that have long since lost all known followers. He tried atheism and found it boring. Solipsism was fun but pointless. He settled on Bhuddism for a while, then decided to look into Christianity again to see if he missed something before... much to his parents' relief. He eventually decided to get on the inside, wondering if perhaps there was something they taught the religious leaders they didn't tell the common man. Through considerable memorization of scripture and concealment of his own, unusual worldview, he eventually became a preist within the Anglican Communion. He found no secret information, but he did find himself getting used to the role he had adopted. Then some distraught woman called his office late at night and said her husband was possessed. Suspecting that the man was having a seizure or some sort of reaction, Orville told her to call 911 and he'd be right over. He beat the ambulance by about five minutes, which was time enough to see the house in total shambles, the woman near death, and an out-of-shape man with a beer belly pick up a sofa and toss it out the big bay windows right at him. That was the night when Orville discovered there's more to demons than in any holy text he knows of. It's also the night he got his first concussion. The woman was in the hospital for three weeks, while Orville was out in three days. Nobody knew where the crazy fat man had run off to, and even though the police had cordoned off a pretty good-sized area, nobody was optomistic about finding the guy. That day he got out of the hospital was the day he bought his first gun. The chase for the demon was short and messy, and Orville is not proud of what he did to stop the bloodshed. For months afterward he'd stare at the ceiling at night wondering if there was a better way... hell, if there was any other way at all. This eventually drove him to dig into the Occult Underground. He discovered that some people could consume demons, some people could control them, some people could dance in patterns that would cause the stock market to fall, some people could go ten minutes without needing to breathe. All sorts of fascinating discoveries that would have any other priest charging in with holy water or charging out yelling for backup. Orville was different. Some people poked fun at his collar and his job, and he, as they say, turned the other cheek. When things got violent, though, he was unexpectedly competent at smiting sinners. He didn't start trouble, he didn't want trouble, and he didn't try to push his views; he just wanted to talk. In a lot of mystic hang outs, he became... tolerated. Kept away the riff-raff, in a way. Eventually, he was accosted in a parking lot by an extremely intoxicated gang of normal mundane men, most with knives and clubs, one with a gun. All planning to just have some fun out on the town. As luck (or God, or at least a god) would have it, none of them could swing or shoot straight and basically fell into a heap. Some passerby (possibly stoned) yelled out a sort of encouraging quip, to the tune of "Way to kick some ass, Reverend Dude!" The nickname stuck. The Reverend Dude, being the non-adept in the group, is generally the most responsible one in the cabal, providing guidance to the other two. He also has a larger life experience than either one, despite both Randy and Mr. Clean having huge life changes, and only a few years difference in age between all three (Mr. clean is 25, Randy 27, and The Reverend Dude 31). He's seen a lot, and it has him almost totally convinced that there is no hope, no chance for things to get better... but he tries anyway. And hey, sometimes it pays off. Religiously, he's managed to do what most religious leaders refuse; place the motive before the means. His personal viewpoint tends to assume sin multiplies instead of adding up, so a whole lot of small things (like a life of drunken debauchery) can total more than a single big thing (like murdering another human being). There's a lot of complicated factors involved, but he thinks it's possible, if difficult, to be a bastard for a good cause and still avoid hell... getting out of Samsara (the Bhuddist cycle of death and rebirth) that way is not so easy, though. Similar rules apply to twisting reality to get your way. Name: Orville Thompson Personality: Not much of a talker, but he loves to listen. Often pessimistic, but secretly overjoyed when proven wrong. Obsession: Consuming and destroying Sin. Wound Points: 55 Rage Passion: People who think they know it all. That's God/Fate/The Universe's gig, and anyone with the hubris to try to muscle in on it is asking for trouble. Fear Passion: (Unnatural) The Reverend Dude has spent a lot of time searching for truth, and he's slowly suspecting that when he finds it, it's going to bite his head off. Noble Passion: Easing psychological and Spiritual burdens. Body 55 (Exercises Regularly) General Athletics 40%, Taekwondo 45%, Hold My Breath 30% Speed 50 (Careful) Dodge 30%, Drive 30%, Initiative 25%, Revolvers 40%, Play Piano 5% Mind 55 (Good Student) Pan-Religious Education 45%, Notice 30%, Automotive Repair 15% Soul 80 (Lean Mean Empathizing Machine) Charm 30%, Lie 15%, Acting 15%, Avatar: The Confessor 65% Madness Meters Violence: 1H/1F Unnatural: 4H/3F Helplessness: 2H/1F Isolation: 1H/0F Self: 0H/1F Possessions: The Reverend Dude left the preisthood and now is working out something in the private sector as a guidance counselor. He has little in the way of material possessions, but his apartment is large enough for Randy and Mr. Clean to crash there if needed. A while back, he bought a piano and has started trying to teach himself to play. This has kept potential crashers to a minimum. The Reverend Dude also has a cheap junker car that looks and runs like it was taken from a junkyard. Notes: The Reverend Dude can use the first two channels of the Confessor Archetype. Trinity in Unity When Randy met the Reverend Dude in the men's room at Nick's Bar, they exchanged some unfriendly words. The Reverend Dude had a point about it being the wrong restroom, but Randy wanted to split hairs a bit (and anger the guy enough to come to blows and charge up). The argument itself didn't make any sense to anyone else, and came to blows when Randy got angry at the other guy for not getting violent, and tried to tackle him. There resulted a complicated exchange of insults, punches, kicks, and door-slamming, with Randy laughing all the time. Rumor has it they drew quite a crowd, and bets were placed. Regardless, the fight eventually stopped when Randy limped off in high, drunken spirits. She commented that they should do that again sometime. Sometime later, The Reverend Dude heard of a guy who destroyed everything around him in blazes of fire with no visible source. Brave but not stupid, he tracked down the woman who proved to be such a competent scrap fighter. She was insanely enthusiastic about going up against someone who could light fires at will. When Randy and The Reverend Dude finally confronted Mr. Clean, both mages tried to get off a significant blast at the same time. They both screwed up in a big way, and a street sign nearby melted in a blaze of unnatural phenomena. The puddle of metal still retained its warning that "Left Lane Must Turn Left" and seeing this brought out an inexplicable case of the giggles in Randy. This was enough to give Mr. Clean pause. He was used to his opponents doing many things during a fight, but pointing at something other than him and giggling... that wasn't one of them. He was just confused enough to not lash out when the Reverend Dude suggested they go to a bar and discuss this whole mess over a drink or two. Thanks to the Reverend's Confessor Channels, he was able to get Mr. Clean to open up and talk about his destroying his old life out of some twisted combination of fear and love. The Reverend Dude was then able to get Mr. Clean to just hang precariously on the edge of sanity instead of plummet into Madness Canyon like Wile E. Coyote. Over some choice drinks (Scotch for Mr. Clean, vodka and orange juice for Randy, and ginger ale for The Reverend Dude), they made an incoherent but very emotional vow to stick by each other through Hell, high water, and the possibility of both at once. This broke Mr. Clean's Annihilomancy taboo, but by then he was too drunk to notice. Or care. Present Day Mostly the three just hang out together. The Reverend Dude goes to his job, Randy and Mr. Clean go grab some charges, and in the evening, they go bar-hopping or clubbing. Sometimes they'll help out dukes in need, but this is rare; most dukes just want backup for when they want to mess up some punk as revenge for said punk messing them up, which they did because the original duke messed with the aforementioned punk. Classic eye-for-eye behavior; zero plus zero equals zero. Helping out mundanes who got thrown headfirst into the Unnatural has a better chance of rousing them.

[timothydutton1996]

How To Get Your Narcissist Ex Back Prodigious Tips

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How To Your Ex Back

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I am so ashamed at what point to express their ex-mate how awful their lifestyle has changed into, given that the best methods and techniques in the middle of economic trials and tribulations?If you want to get him back, however, you can actually make things worse, I would like a bus.If you do to get your ex back now just won't work.Or learn to ignore them and nothing else.The bit number to find the one causing emotional devastation.

How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

[cathysims1]

Getting Out of Debt: Where to start?

Getting Out of Debt: Where to start?:

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When you want to get out of debt, where do you start? Depending on your particular situation, there are different approaches to getting out of debt. Let’s review them now so you can decide which approach will work better for you, based on where you are financially right now.

If you have been paying your bills on time and have a good credit record (and want to keep it in good standing), and you are working or have a monthly income, then credit Counseling or Debt Settlement will not be a good choice for you.

If your accounts are past due and you cannot make the payments, then Credit Counseling (also commonly known as Debt Management or Debt Consolidation) or Debt Settlement might be a good choice for you.

It’s important to note that there is no magic bullet that will work for every debt situation. But keep in mind that in many cases, money problems are NOT the result of financial issues but rather a result of how we think.

This may sound esoteric to some people, but when you think about it you will realize that it is true. For example, take any self-made millionaire, somebody that went from poverty to a millionaire by himself or herself. If you were to take all their money away, do you think they can make it back? You bet! The reason is that they have a different set of beliefs about what is possible in life, they think differently than most people.

And when you consider that most people that won the lottery lost it all within just a couple of years, then you can see that how we think and what we believe is possible for us makes all the difference in the world.

I don’t believe in luck. I don’t believe that we are like a leaf in the wind that goes where the wind blows, with no control whatsoever over what is possible. I used to think that way, but not anymore. I believe that we are all in charge of our lives and in charge of our destinies. And I invite you to try this approach in your life, and discover that in reality, you truly are in charge of your destiny. Anything is possible for you, no matter how the economy is doing or what is going on around you.

To me, it doesn’t make sense to show you how to get out of debt unless you can change your mindset about what is possible for you. Once you change your mindset and you get out of debt, nothing can stop you.

I found that most of the time when we fail to achieve what we really want, there is an underlying belief (that we are usually not aware of) that is not supporting us. Have you ever experienced self-sabotage? Have you ever failed to follow through on something that you wanted to achieve? Most likely you had conflicting beliefs that were pulling you in different directions.

But what is a belief? A belief is a feeling of certainty about what something means to you. Most of our beliefs are generalizations about our past that are based on interpretations of our experiences. In other words, they are based on how we interpreted what happened to us at the moment. Let me give you an example. Twin brothers go to an amusement park and decide to take a ride on a roller-coaster together. One walks out of that ride feeling very happy and thrilled, and these effects will be positive over his lifetime. The other, however, walks out of that same ride full of fear and shock, and those effects will be negative for him over his lifetime. It was the same ride, but it was perceived differently by them. We all perceive and interpret our experiences in a different way.

Which brings me to another very important point that you should always remember: it is not what happens to us in life, but how we interpret what happens to us and what we decide to focus on that changes our life. We need to take responsibility for where we are in life, feel grateful for it, and move on. Blaming our situation or our “conditions” will only bring more of the same. By feeling grateful for what you have, whatever that maybe, you are actually impressing thoughts of abundance upon the Universe, and the Universe will deliver to you more abundance. It may sound strange to some people, but it is one of the immutable Laws of the Universe, the Law of Attraction. For more information on the Law of Attraction, see the Resources section.

But let’s go back to your beliefs and how they affect your life. They actually affect everything you do, since all your actions are the result of your beliefs. They are extremely important to achieving success in anything you do.

You see, from the day we are born, we are bombarded with negative suggestions. Not knowing how to counter them, we unconsciously accept them and bring them into being as our experience.

For example, we are told: – You cannot do it / You can’t do that – if you don’t wear a sweater, you will catch a cold – You don’t have a chance – Things are only getting worse – You may get fired – You are not smart enough

And so on. Get the idea?

Consider now the fact that right now in America, there are about 36 million people that are 65 years of age and older. Out of that 36 million people, over 34 million are broke. They are depending on someone else for life’s necessities.

Why is it that in the richest country in the world, 95% of the population ends up broke?

If you ask these people, they would tell you that their lives were shaped by exterior forces or circumstances, by things that happened to them. This implies that they were not in control, that they were merely a leaf in the wind.

But as we said before, and it’s so important that it is worth repeating, it is not what happens to us in life, but how we interpret what happens to us and what we decide to focus on that changes our life. A person’s fortune can be completely wiped out, and he or she can build it again with the right mindset. It has happened millions of times, which proves that it is NOT what happens to you but how you react to it.

The main reason that most people never achieve financial independence is that we are not taught how to succeed. We are not taught how to achieve financial independence. We are not taught how to handle money. We are never taught that WE are in charge of our lives.

The educational system in place today was created in the 1800s and was designed to prepare us to work as employees. In high school, we are not taught how to handle money, how to invest it, how to create passive streams of income. We don’t learn it either in College or University. We grow up (most of us, anyway) believing that money is in short supply, it is hard to come by and that you have to work really hard for it. We grow up associating different things to money like “If I have a lot of money, I may lose my friends,” thereby, “money equals loneliness.” Other common beliefs are “money changes people, they become greedy”, “If I make a lot of money, I could lose my motivation”. Or, “If I’m broke (or poor) people will pay more attention to me”. And the list goes on and on.

The fact is that money by itself is neither good nor bad. It is what we associate with money that makes all the difference in the world.

Let me give you a few examples that affected me personally.

I lived most of my life under a set of beliefs that controlled most of what I did. It took me a while to identify those beliefs, but when I did, I realized that they had such an enormous power over me that they controlled my focus, my ideas, and my acts. Before I was aware of these beliefs, I blamed my circumstances on other people or “bad luck”.

When I was growing up, money was always tight. My father lost his job when I was 8 years old. He could never get another job that paid him enough, so we were always short of money. My parents had no choice but to take me out of private school and send me to public school. I remember my parents saying to me, “we are middle class”, and as a kid, I accepted it as if it were a fact that would never change.

Growing up in an environment of lack, I felt that money was in short supply. That money only went to other people richer than me. People said that “money can’t buy you happiness”, and I believed it. I deeply believed that because of circumstances that were beyond my control, other people could have money, but not me. I believed I was “middle class”, period. I was “destined” to be that way.

Let me ask you, how do you think living with these beliefs affected my life as an adult? How did it affect what was possible or impossible for me?

At a conscious level, I wanted to earn a lot of money so I could live comfortably. But deep inside me, (at a subconscious level) I never believed I could earn good money. When I worked as a salesperson many years ago, I would have a great week, and then during the next 3 weeks I would sabotage my own success. I would not work hard until the money ran out. This was done subconsciously of course; there was always a “reasonable” excuse for not working hard.

I am very grateful to the Universe for the parents I have and the experiences I had since they prepared me for what I am today.

The truth of the matter is that all beliefs that we “inherit” from our parents are beliefs that they “inherited” from their parents.

So I now choose to believe things that will inspire me, and I do not really care if they are factual truths or not; they will become truths once I believe in them.

A couple of examples of my new beliefs are: – I am a soul with a body; my soul is infinitely abundant – I am always surrounded by abundance. Abundance is all there is. – Money always comes easily and effortlessly – I am wealth – I am abundance – I am health You have beliefs about everything. And what is great about identifying and changing your beliefs, is that you can choose to believe anything that can help you achieve your goals.

You have to look for those limiting beliefs that are controlling your life. If you are ready to break free from the chains of limiting beliefs, I will guide you through a simple yet very powerful process that will enable you to change those beliefs for good.

You can literally change anything you want.

To get the best results out of the following exercise, you will need a quiet place and privacy.

If you are in debt, you need to adopt new beliefs that will empower you. You can decide what you will choose to believe, so why not find beliefs that will help you achieve your goals? Beliefs that limit your actions can be as devastating as positive beliefs can be empowering. When we fully believe something is true, it is like delivering a command to our brain as to how to represent what is occurring. In other words, they are “filters” to our perceptions of the world.

We need to take responsibility for where we are in life. We need to stop blaming others for what happens to us, and decide to move forward.

A few good beliefs to have are: 1- Everything happens for a good reason (even if, right now, I cannot see what that good reason is) 2- People are inherently good 3- Money is easy to come by 4- The Universe is abundant and limitless, and money never runs out 5- Even before a problem occurs, it has already been solved. There is a solution to it somewhere, and I will find it. 6- I am wealth – I am abundance – I am health 7- I am a spirit with a body; my spirit is eternally abundant and wealthy 8- Being broke is only temporary.

Feel free to come up with any beliefs that will empower you, in all areas of your life.

There is so much abundance around us all the time, yet we fail to appreciate it. Instead, we are taught from an early age that all supplies are limited. Limited jobs, limited opportunities, limited money, limited everything! Then no wonder when we analyze our belief systems.

I sincerely want you to become debt-free as soon as possible because I believe that being in debt is being in financial slavery. It limits everything you do in your life: whether you will send your kids to private or public school and the education they will receive, the area of town and the house you will live in, even the medical insurance you will get! When you are in a good financial situation, you have many more choices available to you. Living in poverty is NOT the solution to the world’s problems.

Now it’s time to begin your journey, if you are ready to become debt free and live a financially stress-free life.

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[insession-io]

Tainted By Association, What Does This Tell Us About Ethics?

When I first heard the allegations of serial sexual misconduct against the American folk-rock singer Ryan Adams earlier this year – that he had emotionally and psychologically abused several women and underage girls, using his status in the music industry as leverage – I didn’t want to believe it. Yet this desire to not-believe strongly preceded any acquaintance I had with the actual facts. Indeed – and as I am now ashamed to admit – I initially read the facts with great skepticism, hoping that they were wrong. Only with effort have I forced myself to put aside my initial disbelief, and consider things impartially, making a more balanced assessment. Why?

One answer comes from feminist theory. As a man who has been raised in a male-dominated society, one that tends to privilege the status and testimony of men, and to cast aspersions on those of women – most especially when it comes to issues of sex – I am ideologically conditioned to react this way. Sadly, I suspect there is much truth in this. But it is not the only explanation in play. Another consideration is that I didn’t want Adams to be guilty because I like his music. And the worry that I had – initially, without even realising it – was that, if Adams is indeed guilty, then I won’t be able to enjoy his music any more. And I don’t want that to be the case. Hence, I initially read the accusations against Adams with skepticism, precisely because I (subconsciously) wanted to protect my future enjoyment of his records.

It is not uncommon to find that one’s enjoyment of something is irrevocably damaged if that thing turns out to be closely connected to somebody who has committed serious wrongs. Many people will now feel deeply uncomfortable watching films associated with Harvey Weinstein. Similarly, critically acclaimed movies starring Kevin Spacey – even if made long before any accusation of wrongdoing was levelled against him – will no longer seem the obvious choices for Saturday night viewing that they once were. And this is not simply because we want to take a moral stand against Weinstein or Spacey (though that might certainly be true). It is because we feel that the films themselves are tainted.

But this is odd. A film or TV show, after all, is a thing ultimately independent of the private actions of the actors or producers who happened to help make it. And yet one seems to bleed inexorably into the other. Once you know the charges levelled against Weinstein, you can’t simply carry on watching his films as you did before. The same, I fear, will be true of Adams’s music if it turns out that he is as bad as they say. Many people are currently experiencing precisely such anxiety regarding the music of Michael Jackson, given the latest and most distressing of the allegations made against him.

What is going on here? It is not simply the old, harsh truth that good things can come from bad people. By all accounts, the 18th-century philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau was a pretty unpleasant character. He fell out with everybody, let down most of those who trusted him, and thought it fit to write a book on education despite abandoning many of his own children to orphanages. On the other hand, he was the author of some of the greatest works of philosophy ever written. Similarly, according to the Pulitzer-winning biography The Years of Lyndon Johnson (1982) by Robert A Caro, the 36th president of the United States was a bullying, lying, power-crazed sociopath, who literally stole a Senate election on his way to the highest office. Then again, Johnson also passed the Civil Rights Act.

Life is complicated; not all good things harmonise.

The fact that good things can come from bad people is a separate issue from the fact that knowledge of somebody – or something – having done a bad thing can deeply affect how we view the status of the thing itself. Take a simple but effective example, borrowed from the philosopher Simon Blackburn’s recent paper on this topic. Imagine I invite you over to dinner and, while carving the roast, I casually mention that this is the very knife that the assassin used to murder my wife and children. Would you still be comfortable eating the slice of beef I’ve just plopped on to your plate? And it can work in the other direction, too. Imagine I have a room filled with 20 Fender guitars. I tell you that you can have any of them you like – but one of them was the very guitar that Jimi Hendrix used during his last performance! I bet I know which one you’ll pick, whether you want to keep it for yourself or quickly take it to auction.

Sometimes our feelings over these matters can run very high indeed, becoming full-blown moral sentiments. Imagine a sailor who, shipwrecked and clinging to a plank for three days, finally washes up on shore. Yet the first thing he does is burn the plank that saved his life. Does he not seem to do something wrong? Or consider the case of a man whose son is killed by a motorcyclist, who is sent to jail but remains in possession of the motorbike. After being released, the motorcyclist begins riding the bike again. But the father, outraged, takes a sledgehammer to the vehicle. Prosecuted for criminal damage, the father is given only a negligible sentence by the judge. We all understand why �� and we approve.

Indeed, for many centuries, English common law recognised the category of the ‘deodand’, or an object that was implicated in a human death, such as a cart, a boat, a stone or a tree. The deodand had to be forfeited to the authorities, and its value would then equal the compensation awarded by the courts to the victims’ families. But this practice was abolished in the 1840s, when railway companies lobbied hard to stop their expensive steam trains being used to set the value of awards in the growing number of train-fatality cases. Although this particular compensation mechanism is no longer legal practice, the basic idea of the deodand still makes sense to us.

The assassin’s knife is still perfectly good as a knife. Why be so upset about my using it tonight?

Yet, when you think about it, this is rather strange. After all, it is simply a matter of luck that these particular objects have these particular histories. The assassin could well have used her own knife, or picked a different knife from the drawer. But she picked this knife – and so this knife is now the one that disturbs us. Hendrix (let us suppose) could have picked any of the available Fenders in the shop that day, he just happened to favour that one – and so now that one is special. The examples of Adams, Spacey and Weinstein fit the pattern, too. How come we extend our discomfort backwards, to cover artistic products associated with them from a time when they themselves were not (let us suppose) morally compromised? Weinstein is only one producer among many in Hollywood. Why is his financing of a film once upon a time – when it could easily have been someone else – enough to make us dislike that film today?

This is genuinely puzzling. After all, the job of a knife is simply to cut things. The knife that the assassin used is still perfectly good as a knife. So why be so upset about my using it tonight? Likewise, The Usual Suspects (1995) did not suddenly become a worse film – indeed, it didn’t change at all – the moment the accusations against Spacey were made public. So why not re-watch that old DVD when you get home? The Hendrix guitar is (let us suppose) no better as a guitar than any other that Fender produced that year; they all sound roughly the same when played well. So why is Hendrix’s guitar special? It seems rather mysterious.

Why does bare luck make such a difference to how we feel? Are we simply irrational when it comes to such matters? Perhaps not – and perhaps because asking about whether it is rational for us to have these luck-dependent aversions and attractions is not the right way to think about what is going on.

The best discussion of why we react in these varying – and perplexing – ways comes from the 18th-century Scottish Enlightenment thinker Adam Smith. Nowadays much more likely to be known (somewhat misleadingly) as the ‘father of economics’, Smith was employed as professor of moral philosophy at the University of Glasgow for around 12 years, and hence spent much of his time teaching and writing on such matters. Indeed, his first book – The Theory of Moral Sentiments (1759) – puts forward not just the earliest sustained discussion of the issue of what philosophers now call ‘moral luck’, but one of its most compelling evaluations.

Smith’s discussion didn’t just cover objects or people, and the taint that can be associated with them because of their good or bad histories. It also covered the irregularity of our responses to outcomes that are heavily affected by luck. Imagine the following case: I carelessly throw a brick off the top of a building, but fortunately it doesn’t hit anybody, and shatters harmlessly on the pavement below. You’re likely to think that I’m a bad and irresponsible person, and deserve to be admonished accordingly. But you’ll probably also think that the matter should end there. Now vary the scenario: imagine that the brick does hit somebody, and kills them. The likelihood is that you will now think that I deserve much more in the way of blame, and indeed of punishment. (Prison seems a perhaps not unreasonable response.)

Let us suppose that my motivations – eg, sheer indifference to the safety of others – and my actions – chucking a brick without looking – are identical in both cases. Why, Smith asked, do we feel that the latter is so much worse than the former? It was, after all, simply a matter of luck that somebody walked along at that precise moment, got hit by the brick, and died. (It works in the other direction, too: we would surely feel it too harsh to send a person to prison simply because the brick might have hit a passerby, when in fact it didn’t.)

The underlying intention determines whether we approve of an act, not its consequences alone.

Yet this kind of scenario led to a puzzle. Smith thought it undeniable that we assess the morality of actions not by their actual consequences, but by the intentions of the agent who brings them about. To see that this is indeed true, consider the following example. Imagine that you see me rescue a cat from a tree. When I get to the ground, the cat wriggles free and scurries away. Assuming that my intention was to save the cat, you’ll likely think that I did a good thing. But what if you now find out that my intention was to barbeque the cat for dinner? In both cases, the consequences are the same – the cat is brought down from the tree, wriggles free, and runs away. Yet your evaluation of the morality of the act will shift markedly once you learn of my culinary intentions. Try any example you like, and you’ll get the same result: it’s the underlying intention that determines whether or not we approve of an act, not the consequences of the act alone.

For Smith, it is a truism that we assign different moral weight to intentions, not to consequences, and one that nobody will deny, at least when it comes to philosophical theory. Nonetheless, in practice, we often find ourselves heavily swayed by consequences even when, on the face of it, those consequences shouldn’t matter. Take the brick-throwing example again. In both cases, my intention was bad, because in throwing the brick I showed callous disregard for the safety of others. In theory, then, I am equally culpable whatever the outcome, at least if intentions are supposed to be what counts. But, in practice, we feel far more strongly in the case where the brick does hit somebody. So consequences do matter after all – even though moral philosophers tend to think that it’s only intentions that should matter.

For this reason, Smith thought that our moral sentiments in such cases were ‘irregular’. Why do we respond so differently to consequences that have bad outcomes, when those outcomes are purely a matter of luck? Smith confessed that he did not know why we are psychologically rigged up this way. Here he hit what he took to be explanatory bedrock, and simply assigned this ‘irregularity’ to the workings of ‘nature’, for which he could give no further explanation. (We, living after Charles Darwin, might want to posit an evolutionary story – but that was something Smith had no access to.) Nonetheless, Smith was confident that, although he could not explain why we are like this, on balance we should nonetheless be grateful that we are indeed rigged up this way.

The first reason Smith gave for why it is good that we are this way is that if, in practice, we really did go around judging everybody solely by their intentions, and not by the actual consequence of their actions, life would be unliveable. We would spend all our time prying into people’s secret motivations, fearing that others were prying into ours, and finding ourselves literally on trial for committing thought crimes. This, Smith thought, might be appropriate for God at the final judgment – but it would be hell on Earth if applied to mortal justice.

Second, it is quite useful that we generally tend to be bothered about actual consequences, rather than just underlying intentions. It’s all very well and good if you intended to get me a birthday present – but if you didn’t actually manage to do so, my gratitude is markedly lessened. This will seem somewhat unfair if the reason you didn’t get me a present is because you fell grievously ill. Your intention, after all, was good. It will seem much less unfair, however, if the reason is simply that your desire to sit around watching Netflix in your underpants was stronger than your desire to go to the shops. We tend to be both more grateful for good consequences and more resentful about bad ones, which is clearly socially useful. On account of the fact that you have to actually do the good thing to get the praise – and equally, you have to actually do the bad thing to get the punishment – people are more likely to follow through on their good, and not act upon their bad, intentions. This is a highly welcome feature of social existence, all things considered.

The ‘irregularity’ of our sentiments encourages us to respect the sanctity of other persons.

Finally, and perhaps most interestingly of all, Smith thought that there was a special effect of the ‘irregularity’ of our sentiments: it predisposed us to be careful around other people. One last example: imagine you are walking along a path above a cliff, and you accidentally dislodge a boulder, which crashes down and kills the rock-climber below. You didn’t mean to do this – it was an accident! But the fact that you did do it matters enormously. You will be blamed by others, and will likely blame yourself too. (‘Why didn’t I look where I was going?!’) But the fact that we feel ourselves responsible even for the things that we didn’t mean to do is, Smith thinks, a very useful and desirable state of affairs, insofar as it encourages us to take care when we are acting in ways that could (inadvertently) harm others. Precisely because you know you’ll rightly be held responsible for the death of people below you, even if you only accidentally knock a rock onto them, you’re more inclined to take care where you tread when you go for a clifftop stroll. As Smith put it, the ‘irregularity’ of our sentiments in this regard encourages us to respect the sanctity of other persons:

The happiness of every innocent man is, in the same manner, rendered holy, consecrated, and hedged round against the approach of every other man; not to be wantonly trod upon, not even to be, in any respect, ignorantly and involuntarily violated, without requiring some expiation, some atonement in proportion to the greatness of such undesigned violation.

What has this got to do with the assassin’s knife, the guitar used by Hendrix, or the films that Spacey starred in? Like Smith, I cannot explain why our psychologies tend to transfer the guilt of an agent, or the history of what an object was used for, on to the past or future status of a thing itself. They apparently just do. But following Smith, this seems to be a very desirable state of affairs, one that we should not want to do without. It is good that we feel aversion to artifacts (be they physical objects, films, records or whatever) associated with sex crimes, murders and other horrors – even if this is a matter of sheer luck or coincidence – because this fosters in us not only an aversion to those sorts of crimes, but an affirmation of the sanctity of the individuals who are the victims of them. In turn, that makes most of us less likely to engage in evil acts ourselves. Perhaps even more importantly, it makes us less likely to remain indifferent even when we are not ourselves directly affected by injustices perpetrated against others. Instead, we come to see innocent people as sacred, and to be protected from the predations and depredations of those who would harm them. In this way, our moral world is more tightly knitted together.

As Smith was at pains to point out, we are psychologically complex creatures, capable of sharing each other’s emotions, and forming intricate moral bonds accordingly. Sometimes that process can get messed up, working itself out back to front – as, for example, when I reflexively take the side of Ryan Adams because I like his music and want to protect my future enjoyment of it. (Fortunately, this sort of back-to-front reaction can be corrected by reflection, at least by those willing to undertake it.) But, typically, the process works for the greater good. A world in which people did not recoil in horror at my use of the assassin’s knife to carve dinner, or in which watching The Usual Suspects was not considered a suspect choice in light of the allegations against Spacey – such a world would certainly be a worse place.

In all of this, there is an important lesson for moral philosophy. For some time now, ethical theory has been dominated by two rival camps. Consequentialists, who think that morality is primarily about maximising some approved set of outcomes, and deontologists, who think that morality is primarily about rules, duties and obligations. These two opposed outlooks, with all their innumerable variations, have been duking it out for well over a century. But neither can make much sense of the importance of anything that has been written above. And yet, the cases of ‘moral luck’ that I have discussed are not minor side issues, or trivial diversions, but go to the heart of our everyday, as well as some of our deepest moral experiences. Adam Smith saw this very well. We stand to learn a great deal from his emphasis not on calculating consequences or fulfilling obligations, but on human psychology and the moral sentiments that structure our ethical lives.

Paul Sagar is a lecturer in political theory in the department of political economy, King’s College London. He is the author of The Opinion of Mankind: Sociability and the Theory of the State from Hobbes to Smith (2018).

Kathryn McNeer, LPC specializes in Couples Counseling Dallas with her sound, practical and sincere advice. Kathryn's areas of focus include individual counseling, relationship and couples counseling Dallas. Kathryn has helped countless individuals find their way through life's inevitable transitions; especially that tricky patch of life known as "the mid life crisis." Kathryn's solution-focused, no- nonsense counseling works wonders for men and women in the midst of feeling, "stuck," or "unhappy." Kathryn believes her fresh perspective allows her clients find the better days that are ahead. When working with couples, it is Kathryn's direct yet non-judgmental approach that helps determine which patterns are holding them back and then helps them establish new, more productive patterns. Kathryn draws from Gottman and Cognitive behavioral therapy. When appropriate Kathryn works with couples on trust, intimacy, forgiveness, and communication.

[deepinsightslibrary-blog]

The Art of Following Joseph

1. The art of following Joseph is the art of not being provoked by rejection.

And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more.

Genesis 37:5

And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me.

Genesis 37:9

Survival in the ministry, especially in the long term, is always related to your ability to ride the waves of depraved human character. There are seven unseen rivers that govern almost everything that happens on this earth. These are the rivers of human nature that determine the outcome of many things. Instead of common sense determining the outcome of things, it is these rivers that determine the outcome of almost anything that happens on earth.

For instance, oil may be discovered in a country. The existence of this oil should make everyone in that nation prosperous. But when the powerful rivers of greed and selfishness appear, only a few people get rich and the masses are left in abject poverty.

What are these seven human rivers that govern everything?

They are the rivers of greed, selfishness, jealousy, lust, racism, wickedness and the misuse of power.

You must not be provoked, misdirected or misled by any of these human rivers.

You must not be easily provoked because that is how to walk in love. “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5; NASB).

You must not be easily provoked because provocation is a trap that has been set for you. “As Jesus was leaving, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees became hostile and tried to provoke him with many questions. They wanted to trap him into saying something they could use against him” (Luke 11:53-54, NLTSB).

The art of following Joseph is the art of not being easily provoked by the rivers that flow from human nature. The rivers of forgetfulness, wickedness and ungratefulness can turn a cheerful and pleasant person into a bitter personality. It is important that you are not provoked by the ungrateful and selfish human psyche. The wickedness of Joseph’s brothers and inability to remember that he was flesh of their flesh and bone of their bone constituted a huge and important river of human nature which Joseph encountered. This river swept him off his feet and carried him to another world where he suffered terribly.

Many things that we experience in our lives can and do twist us into corrupted human beings ready to spew out venom that corresponds to the evil we have received. If we received hatred we are ready with our own version of wickedness.

If we received no love, we are ready to live our life showing little care for others.

If we received the brunt of the ways of selfish leaders, we are ready to grow up and become worse leaders.

The study of Joseph is a study of how to overcome the diverse provocations that we must encounter on earth. The art of following Joseph is the art of overcoming provocation.

How to Overcome Provocation

You must overcome provocation by continuing to dream in spite of the rivers of rejection. Rejection is one of the rivers you must cross. Few people will go through life without being rejected. You may be rejected in your class, rejected by your friends. Definitely, people of a different tribe, colour or nation will reject you. These are the different types of rejection you can experience.

Remember that there are places that will want you or celebrate you, even though you are rejected by others. If you drown when you get to the river of rejection you have not done well. Many others have been rejected but are still pressing on.

Remember that you can never be fully accepted unless you have first been rejected.

Don’t move away.

Don’t pity yourself!

Don’t think, “No one loves me!”

Even though you have been rejected, someone does love you and there is a place where you will find full acceptance. Maybe you were rejected because of certain deficiencies. Work on those deficiencies. Pitying yourself will get you nowhere. Whenever I am rejected I say to myself, “Even though I am rejected here I am loved somewhere else.” Like Joseph, I want to persist in having dreams and visions. I repeat, “Do not drown in the river of rejection.”

People I admired have rejected me continuously. What a painful experience it is to be rejected by the person you love, cherish and almost idolize!

I remember a man of God who rejected me in spite of my ardent commitment to him and his ministry. He treated me like a rebel, even though I loved him and wanted to be close to him. Then he seemed to welcome those whom I knew were disloyal to him. I thought to myself, “What is the use of all my loyalty to this brother?” But I persisted in my visions and dreams.

One day, I mused over the acceptance I seemed to have achieved of this man of God. Then I thought to myself, “It has taken more than twenty years to be accepted of the beloved.”

Be like Joseph. Do not retreat because you are rejected. Rejection is simply one of the rivers you must cross in your journey.

2. The art of following Joseph is the art of not being provoked by envy AND hatred.

And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me.

And he told it to his father, and to his brethren: and his father rebuked him, and said unto him, What is this dream that thou hast dreamed? Shall I and thy mother and thy brethren indeed come to bow down ourselves to thee to the earth?

And his brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying.

Genesis 37:9-11

You will be hated by somebody. The important thing is not to respond to hatred by becoming hateful yourself. Most hateful people have been hated by someone before. I used to think that people’s hatred was a sign of poor Christian character. But I found out that only hypocrites and pretenders are liked by everyone. A really good person must be liked by some and hated by others. If everybody likes you, there is something wrong with you.

Was Jesus liked by everyone? Certainly not!

Was He the Son of God? Yes, He was! But He had lots of people who hated Him.

Do not allow the envy and the hatred of people to stop you from serving God. Follow Joseph and persist in your ministry in spite of envy and hatred.

3. The art of following Joseph is the art of not being provoked by strange women.

And it came to pass after these things, that his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me.

But he refused, and said unto his master’s wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand;

There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?

Genesis 39:7-9

You cannot live in this world without encountering the rivers of immorality, lust, fornication and adultery. You are bound to meet up with them somewhere. You are bound to meet up with pornography, lust, licentiousness, prostitution, fornication, adultery and homosexuality. What are you going to do about this? You must overcome the provocation by continuing to walk in holiness and righteousness. Staying clear of immorality is possible through the grace of God and the wisdom that He will give.

Unfortunately, our bodies are often lusting after things that are forbidden. The great struggle to stay pure must be fought. We must overcome this scourge and emerge victoriously like Joseph did.

Joseph persisted in his determination to stay pure from the beautiful temptress we call Potiphar’s wife. The art of following Joseph is the art of overcoming the lusts and immorality that are so natural to this human race. You can never say that you are following Joseph unless you overcome immorality in your life.

4. The art of following Joseph is the art of not being provoked by lies and false accusations.

And she laid up his garment by her, until his lord came home.

And she spake unto him according to these words, saying, The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me:

And it came to pass, as I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled out.

Genesis 39:16-18

The devil is the accuser of the brethren and you can be assured that they will accuse you sooner or later. Accusations weaken you and can destroy you.

Joseph was falsely accused but he survived this provocation too. Most good people are accused of terrible crimes. Sometimes they are accused of the exact opposite of what they are. You must get used to being accused and carry on as though you do not hear all the things that are being said about you.

5. The art of following Joseph is the art of not being provoked by injustice.

And Joseph’s master took him, and put him into the prison, a place where the king’s prisoners were bound: and he was there in the prison.

Genesis 39:20

Joseph was sent into a prison. He experienced something he did not deserve.

Being unjustly treated evokes such strong feelings in almost everyone. You want to rise up and correct the injustice. You want to rise up and prove to everyone that you cannot be easily cheated. But God’s way is often that you allow the injustice. “…Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?” (1 Corinthians 6:7, NASB). As you mature, you will realise your need to accept injustices as part of your walk with God. Follow Joseph and accept the injustices of your life and ministry.

6. The art of following Joseph is the art of using your gift in spite of the difficulties of life.

“And the chief butler told his dream to Joseph, and said to him, In my dream, behold, a vine was before me;

And in the vine were three branches: and it was as though it budded, and her blossoms shot forth; and the clusters thereof brought forth ripe grapes:

And Pharaoh’s cup was in my hand: and I took the grapes, and pressed them into Pharaoh’s cup, and I gave the cup into Pharaoh’s hand.

And Joseph said unto him, This is the interpretation of it: The three branches are three days:

Genesis 40:9-12

Whilst he was in prison Joseph kept himself busy interpreting dreams. Even prison could not keep him from exercising the gift God had given him. This is one sure way of overcoming the provocation of ungratefulness.

Perhaps, your congregation does not remember the things you have done for them. Perhaps they have forgotten so quickly all the labour you have bestowed on them. But this should not be the end of your ministry. As you continue to reach out and touch other lives someone will show much gratitude and this gratitude will far outweigh the ingratitude you have been receiving.

7. The art of following joseph is the art of becoming a favourite of your father.

Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.

Genesis 37:3

It may seem silly or even trivial to want to be your boss’ favourite but it is wise to want to be the most important person’s favourite. The most important person is the one who really matters. You will please someone with what you do so why not choose to please the most important person? Who is it that will pay you? Who is it that will feed you? Who is it whose decisions will change your life? Who will promote you? Why not decide to impress that important person!

The world does not only function according to principles but also according to “favour”. Favour is when good things are done to you for no apparent reason. Favour is when honour and blessings are bestowed on you even though you do not deserve them.

Somehow, you must develop the art of becoming a favourite whilst being genuine and unpretentious. I am not talking about being obsequious! I am not talking about becoming a sycophant! I am not talking about getting ahead through flattery, deception or boot licking.

Even in the army, you can only rise up to a certain level through promotional exams. The really high ranks are attained by what they call “political appointments”. These so called “political appointments” are based on people liking and choosing you. In a government, the president chooses whom he wishes and whom he likes to certain positions. There is often no formula to his choices. The “favourites” are often given key jobs in key positions.

Becoming a favourite of someone is no mean task. It involves understanding what the person likes and doing things that please him. It may sound simple but different things please people differently. Why not please the one who pays you? Why not impress the person who really matters? Why not do what he likes or wants?

Some bosses are pleased when you start a project well. Others are only pleased when it is finished. Everyone pleases someone! It is up to you to choose whom you want to please. Discover what type of boss you have and do everything to make him happy. It is all about deciding whom you will please with your work and service.

8. THE ART OF FOLLOWING JOSEPH IS THE ART OF BeING able to see the hand of God working things out.

Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.

Genesis 45:5

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Genesis 50:20

To be spiritually minded gives life and peace. To be carnally minded brings destruction. It is important that your mind works in a spiritual way. You must see the spiritual dimensions of everything that happens to you.

There are four ways to see things:

1. To see things in a completely natural way with no spiritual dimensions or implications to anything.

2. To be conscious of the devil and see the devil at work in almost everything.

3. The third way to see things is to blame God for all the bad experiences of your life.

4. The fourth way is to see the mysterious hand of God working things out as a father would for his child.

Joseph decided to accept the bad things that had been done to him as the hand of God working things out for his good. He believed that God had never left him in all his troubles. He believed that all the evils that were done to him by his wicked brothers were the hand of God at work and not the hand of the devil. He believed that nothing happened by chance. It was this understanding that gave him the ability to love his brothers and carry out God’s plan to the fullest.

If he had seen his brothers as the cause of his calamities he would have tortured them with the slowest and most painful method available at the time. Recognizing the hand of God as the reason for things helps you to forgive and not to blame anyone, not even yourself.

The art of following Joseph is the art of having this kind of understanding. The famous Scripture: “...all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who the called according to his purpose” is a New Testament version of Joseph’s philosophy.

All great spiritual men who walked with God had this understanding.

Isaiah saw the hand of God at work when righteous people were taken away in death. He declared that they had been taken away to protect them from some evils ahead. He said, “The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness.” (Isaiah 57:1-2).

Paul saw the hand of God at work when he was attacked by Satan. He was under pressure, he was distressed, confused, in need and weakened. But he said, “And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

Jesus knew that God His father would never leave Him. When Pilate threatened Him with death and crucifixion, Jesus calmly explained to the arrogant Roman soldier that he could and would have no power over Him unless God allowed it.

And went again into the judgment hall, and saith unto Jesus, Whence art thou? But Jesus gave him no answer.

Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to release thee?

Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin.

And from thenceforth Pilate sought to release him…

John 19:9-12

9. THE ART OF FOLLOWING JOSEPH IS the art of BELIEVING THAT THERE CAN BE A LEAN SEASON.

Behold, there come seven ears of great plenty throughout all the land of Egypt:

And there shall arise after them seven years of famine; and all the plenty shall be forgotten in the land of Egypt; and the famine shall consume the land;

Genesis 41:29-30

The abundance of a good season ministers deceptions and delusions to those who enjoy it. This is what the Bible calls the deceitfulness of riches. Riches come along with many deceptions. When there is abundance, it is difficult to believe that there can be a lean season. This is the reason why many rich people eventually become poor. The belief that life is in seasons is simply not there. Good seasons are so good that you just can’t imagine that there can be a season so lean that it will make you forget your day of abundance.

I remember a brother who was enjoying a very good season of his life. It was so good that he boasted about his riches and abundance. He spent money recklessly and arrogantly. One day, whilst praying for him, I had a vision. In the vision, I saw the end of his abundance and the corrupting of his prosperity. The season of ill-favoured cows was about to descend on him but he could not perceive its possibility. When I warned him about it he brushed me away saying he was more than prepared for all eventualities. I could only watch helplessly as the vision was fulfilled.

The ability to believe in the possibility of such a season is what I am talking about. Is it possible? Yes! Could it ever happen? Yes! Has it happened to anyone before? Yes! Is it likely to happen in my lifetime? Yes! Do people ever lose their wonderful jobs? Yes! Do people ever have to leave the country in which they live today? Yes! Do people ever lose the favour they once had? Yes! Do people’s circumstances ever change? Yes! Can there be a worldwide financial downturn? Yes!

The financial crises of the world basically affect those who do not have these beliefs.

When you believe in the reality of lean seasons, you will be a much wiser person. You will be like Joseph who believed in the possibility of seven evil lean years. This conviction will lead you to live your life in a different way from someone who has no such beliefs.

10. THE ART OF FOLLOWING JOSEPH IS THE ART OF preparing for the future.

Let Pharaoh do this, and let him appoint officers over the land, and take up the fifth part of the land of Egypt in the seven plenteous years.

And let them gather all the food of those good years that come, and lay up corn under the hand of Pharaoh, and let them keep food in the cities.

And that food shall be for store to the land against the seven years of famine, which shall be in the land of Egypt; that the land perish not through the famine.

Genesis 41:33-36

Preparing for the future is quite different from knowing and believing in the possibility of a bad season. There are many people who know and believe that there is going to be a bad season. It takes extra faith and energy to live with the future in mind.

It is so much easier to just enjoy the blessings of today! Why spend money on a problem that has not yet shown its head? Why spend money on something that looks so remote, so far fetched and so unlikely?

This ability to prepare for the future is what distinguishes the rich and the poor. Rich nations of the world are constantly preparing for remote and unlikely events. Before the Second World War, Germany re-armed itself and prepared extensively for war. Neighbouring countries could not comprehend the extent of destruction that was about to be unleashed on them. Millions of people next door in Poland were about to be slaughtered by Hitler’s murderous war machine – the Wehrmacht. Yet, Poland made little preparation for the future. Even after Hitler had invaded Austria, they still seemed to have hope that the future would not be war. The price they paid was millions of lives.

Today, countries like Switzerland have laws in place, forcing everyone building a new house to construct a bomb shelter. These expensive bomb shelters are preparations they are making for a possible nuclear war. It may sound far-fetched but this is the art of preparation in practice.

As you read this book, God is showing you things in the future. He is giving you wisdom and grace to prepare for the future. Remember, it is not enough to know about it. What are you doing to prepare yourself for future difficulties and future lean seasons?

11. THE ART OF FOLLOWING JOSEPH IS the art of showing love when you become a man of authority

And when Joseph’s brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.

And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying,

So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.

And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.

And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?

But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

Genesis 50:15-21

God took Joseph through a journey that softened and mellowed him. When he was mature and full of love he was elevated into a place of authority. When a wicked person comes into a place of authority much evil is released.

When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, But when a wicked man rules, people groan.

Proverbs 29:2 (NASB)

When people are in power they usually go one of three ways. They forget how they used to be, they become more wicked or they become kinder.

You must choose to become a kinder person who remembers all his struggles. You must choose to become someone who remembers his own problems and weaknesses.

You must choose to become someone who sees God’s hand at work. When you have this attitude you are ready to become a man of authority.

12. THE ART OF FOLLOWING JOSEPH IS the art of doing things with death and eternity in mind.

By faith Joseph, when he died, made mention of the departing of the children of Israel; and gave commandment concerning his bones.

Hebrews 11:22

Joseph gave instructions with death in mind. He accepted the reality of his future. He knew that he would become a mere bag of bones and he gave instructions with that in mind. Few people do things with death and eternity in mind. Being conscious of death and of eternity induces the highest kind of wisdom in a person.

Christians who have death in mind will live their lives seeking for rewards in Heaven rather than building everything on earth.

Paul was conscious of death. He said, “I am in a strait betwixt two...” (Philippians 1:23): confused about whether to stay here or to go to Heaven. On another occasion he said, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

Jesus also had death and eternity in mind. He said, “I go to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2). Surprisingly, death consciousness is the pivot around which true wisdom evolves and develops. Solomon was a bit late in becoming death conscious. He lived his life by concentrating on earthly things and earthly achievements. In the end he was forced to say that all is vanity.

The Wisdom of Death Consciousness

Death consciousness has a way of making you wiser, richer and smarter.

A pastor who has death in mind will train young people and place them properly, so that the church will live beyond his life.

A businessman who has death in mind will have deputies and successors in place, knowing that he may not be there to continue.

A husband who has death in mind will be nice to his wife, knowing that she may not be there tomorrow.

A wife who has death in mind will treat her husband with kindness knowing that he may be gone one day and she will miss him very much.

Children who have death in mind will honour their parents and love them, knowing that their whole lives would change dramatically if their parents were dead.

House owners who have death in mind will write their wills clearly, knowing that they could suddenly not exist on this earth.

To follow Joseph you must focus on the reality of death and give commandments about when you are turned into bones!

by Dag Heward-Mills

[awesome-legendarystudentcho-blog]

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when i turn 17 i get about 4,200 . now im wanting to spend that money on something improtant, to me thats a car, lessons and insurance. will i have enough to do this? say i pass etc how much will the insurance cost & the lessons""

Do i need to call my car insurance company?

I was in a car accident today and it was not a small accident. I hit a car on its side. there was an older woman so an ambulance came but she ended up not being hurt, just procautionary. the police were called and they took all my info and whatnot. It was wierd the police did not give me any papers or anything and told me i could leave. they just asked me if i wanted my car towed and i said no. the police officer also told me when i asked him that i dont need to call my insurance company unless i want to make a claim. is that true? i only have 1 way insurance so im probably going to scrap my car. I always thought u should call them no matter what, do you know if i am obligated to call them or will they contact me? location: Quebec, Canada thanks a bunch, Tyler""

Do I really need auto insurance in Miami Florida?

Auto insurance is really expensive, do I really need it? I live in Miami, Florida and prices on auto insurance are through the roof. Can I get in any really serious trouble if I drive without auto insurance for a while until I can actually afford it.""

Car Insurance Issues?

So I've just passed my test, looking to purchase insurance on a car (peugeout 1.1 fever) and the prices they're, sky high! My dad currently has a car with 5years ncb. I figured that if he ends his current policy on his car (which he paid annual for) and begins a new policy for my car using his 5years ncb it would be all cheaper. Then if he started from scratch on his car again. So basically hes ending his policy in order to transfer the ncb onto my car, him being the main, and me being an additional driver and starting from scratch again on his original car. Only query i have is, Is it legal? Is any part of the above illegal? Thanks guys for the help :D""

Do you have to have car insurance?

like the car has liabilty, but i will soon get my liscense and i am wondering if it is required by law for me personally to have insurance.""

When do I sort out car insurance for a car i've bought?

Do I sort it out before buying the car?

What's a good job with good health insurance not needing a degree or experience?

I'm a college student looking to find a good job that has affordable health insurance all on which i can find an affordable place to live. Most factory's that have these benefits start with a low pay rate that doesn't seem worth it (after gas is taken out). Any ideas?

I just got pulled over for not having my seat buckle on and I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up?

This is the first time I've EVER been pulled over and I've had my license for a little over a year now. I get good grades and all that stuff so my insurance is pretty low for the average person right now. I'm wondering how much my insurance will go up? SOMEONE HELP! Kinda freaking out here. :p

Will my insurance go up over one speeding ticket?

I live in Pennsylvania and have Traveler's insurance paid by my parents. About 2 days ago I got a speeding citation. The officer who pulled me over said they clocked me going 74MPH in a 55MPH zone. I did not dispute this because I know I was speeding and who could have missed the huge signs with the posted speed limit. Anyway I am only 17 years old. This is the first time I have ever been pulled over or got in any trouble on the road. Prior to this I had a perfect driving record. My dad has not gotten any traffic violations in over 30 years and my mom has never gotten any violations of any kind. My older sister who is 18 (also on our Traveler's insurance) has a perfect driving record as well. Do you think our insurance rates will go up considering this is my first ticket and everyone in my family has a PERFECT record except for the ticket of my dad's?

How do I FIND affordable business insurance for my cleaning business.?

I live in illinois in a city I am starting a cleaning business I ahve searched the internet and called around to different insurance companys and got a quote from state farm they want $1000 up front for the year and will not take installments. I was under the impression that the insurance I needed was less expensive. hellllp!!! please help me find something better.

What the best insurance company for me?

so I'm 19 and havn't have my licence very long and I drive a race car... but I want good cheap insurance like allstate or statefarm I'm looking for good coustomer service that makes me feel safe... so whats the word... any coustomer service stories?

insolvency act indemnity insurance quote

insolvency act indemnity insurance quote

Help. I've missed two car insurance installments by accident and now they want me to pay the rest in full.?

I've stupidly missed two payments. Not on purpose. I'm pregnant and at college with exams and I'm due in March so my mind is trying to focus on revising, focus on saving money to buy baby things with (which we still need to buy most stuff). and focusing on bills etc. Anyway. How can I still be insured but avoid having to pay them the rest of the due fees for my contract term? An idea I had was to cancel it, and then start new insurance with another company? I would have to pay a new deposit and to cancel the old insurance I would have to pay some money as well. Any other ideas?""

Looking for a good (cheap!) health insurance?

I live in Southern California (Riverside) and I'm on the hunt for a good and cheap health insurance...thought I'd reach out to the Answer's community for help. Couldn't hurt, right? Ideally (in my warped little dream world) I want several doctor's visits for $25 or $30 a visit...and I want a deductible of $5000 or less. Any ideas? I currently have Tonik 3000...and their rates are going up to $102, so I'm hunting for something cheaper (ideally around $50). Any suggestions? I've already looked at all the major ones online....kaiser, uhc, pacificare, blue cross ca.....""

Insurance companies messed up!?!?

Over three years ago, a pick-up truck crushed the entire back-side of my van. Of course, it wasn't my fault and I took care of the situation by calling the truck driver's insurance company. However, when I was going through my auto insurance profile, I saw something weird, a driving history stating that I was at-fault for that accident three years ago. It's very weird because I claimed an accident not on my insurance company, but the truck driver's. What can I do to fix this? Was I paying more premium because of this mistake? Thank you""

Please help answer a health insurance question: group vs. individual?

I'm thinking of retiring early. I would utilize COBRA for the full 18 months. After that, I would purchase an individual plan. I'm extremely healthy, no preexisting conditions. My concern is, if I were to become ill after purchasing the individual policy, could I be dropped? I would, of course, make sure payments are always on time. I live in California. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!""

How do I know if my auto insurance settlement offer is fair?

How do I know if my auto insurance settlement offer is fair?

Can i buy insurance/warranty on beats?

My friend sold me an unopened studio beats. But i want to know if places like best buy can i just walk in and ask for a warranty or insurance? if not can you place help me find a place that i can.

A question about how much will insurance cost?

i am looking at a few cars , toyota mr2 which should be cheap on insurance because it's a classic car and im looking at a renault clio 1.2 now im just wondering because im nearly a 17 year old and wanting to know how much would insurance cost on these 2 cars thanks people""

I want to finance a car. Can the registration and insurance be under my brothers' name?

Will a car dealership allow me to register the car under my brother? I want to put the car in my brothers name because the insurance will be cheaper. His credit is in better than mine.

Questions about insurance in NJ?

I just got my probationary license in NJ, and have a couple of questions about insurance. My parents have put me on their insurance plan and today i was given two POI cards-- one for each of their cars. Now, the problem is that I mostly plan to drive my grandmother's car. She lives with us and is getting to the point where she does not drive much anymore. She was told by her insurance company that i do not have to be put on her plan because we live in the same house, but i'm just curious how i would go about proving that i am insured if i ever got into an accident in her car. Can i just hold on to a copy of my POI from one of my parent's two card (in my wallet) to show a police officer, or do I need something specifically for that car? Thank you for the help :)""

How much for motorcycle insurance?

I am a 17 year old male and interested in getting my motorcycle license and am wondering if anyone has a rough estimate for insurance cost. I plan to get something small for my first bike, such as a honda rebel 250 or a suzuki tu250. I will use it for leisurely driving in a rural town. I have a valid NYS license and currently have not been in any accidents.""

Will I be covered under my moms car insurance?

Alright I am 18 and I live with my mom. My car recently stalled out and there is something wrong with the engine. So my mom has AAA auto insurance, and I am covered by state farm which is my dads insurance. We are in California, and I wanted to know if I would be covered if I were to drive my moms car until mine is fixed. I know that if you live in the same household that you wouldnt be covered, but my insurance has my dads address under it. So do you think I would be covered?""

I got a ticket for jaywalking. Will it affect my insurance?

I live in California and was wondering if I should just pay it? I'm just wondering if it will affect my insurance but it wasn't a traffic ticket and I'm confused.

Teenage car insurance?

Well im 15, gonna be 16 in 2 weeks and Im about to get a car. How much will the insurance be? I live in Arizona, have straight A's and am a girl and the insurance im gonna have has benefits if you have good grades and its cheaper if you're a girl too. So I would like an idea of how much it would cost monthly? The car would be a 1990 toyota camry 4-cylinder""

Insurance (and more) for new driver in Ontario?

So, I'm going to take my written test (G1) tomorrow and I'm looking ahead trying to figure this out. I plan on taking a MTO certified course to be able to take my G1 exit driving test in 8 months. I have a car lined up that will practically be given to me in 8 months. I'm 30 and living on my own. Will I be able to get insurance on a car with only a G2 license? Will I have to pay through the nose for it? Would it be legal and/or cheaper to have my dad buy the car and put it and me on his policy? Would I live to be living in the same household as him? Any other ideas, issues, or options I should be aware of? Thanks a bunch.""

Will my mom's car insurance go up because of my speeding ticket?

Ok...I was driving my mom's suburban truck...I was doing 45 in a 35. I am not on my mom's insurance but the ticket is in my name in my mom's truck. The ticket is 81.50...I only had my license for a year...my mom never had a ticket...ever...so her insurance is like cheap...she gas state farm...will her insurance go up? I don't want to tell her.

Is insurance higher for a Grand Prix gt coupe?

In a couple of days I am going to be getting my license and on craigslist their is a Grand Prix gt coupe but my mom doesn't really want me to get it because she says the insurance is going to be high because it is considered a sports car is that true?

Ways to make car insurance cheaper?

I know this question or something similar has been asked a lot but i'm 18 and i've just passed my driving test and i'm looking for insurance. I have 2000 saved up and all the quotes i've been given are around this, I know i'm not going to get it much cheaper than this. Does ringing up the insurer and saying you've been given a cheaper like for like quote etc. work in getting the price down? And what companies are recommended for younger drivers? Thanks :)""

I bought a stolen car and the insurance company offered me to buy again at a high price?

I bought a Audi 05 reg for 13k privatley that turned out to be stolen. The insurance company have now offered me 15k a ridiculous amount of money to buy it again, that they say is non negotiable. Does anyone know if I can get it cheaper maybe the insurance company is trying it on as they know I want it, or shall i let it go to auction and try and buy it back then.""

If I dont pay my car insurance on time can my car get towed?

I am with country wide insurance and I am two days lare on my insurance abd I live in n ew york. Can my car get towed? What penalties will I face?

Motorcycle Insurance?

I would like to purchase a motorcycle this summer, something between 500 CC and 650 CC. I was wondering what my insurance rate would be. I am 19 years old and currently pay 2000 a year for my 06 Subaru Impreza. I have a clean driving record and currently have nationwide insurance.""

Who generally has the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

I need a place I can trust. My state farm insurance guy who does my car put an offer on the tabel that was huge. I'm 23 years old, male, great driving record. I feel like he is trying to take advantage of me with the price. it was going to be $800 a year. Also, what is the bare minimum you need to ride a bike? Medical, liability? Any tips are greatly appreciated. Thanks. -Mike""

Does motorcycle insurance cost the same as car insurance?

Currently 18 years old and was looking for a car but I am also interested in motorcycles. The bike would be a 1979 Honda Twinstar 185. I just wanted something to zip around in in the city. Would it be less considering if I crash there isn't much to repair? or more because I am a teen? I currently pay $150 as a secondary driver on my dad's car insurance. I know there are a lot of factors to determine price but how much of a difference is it normally?

Insurance rates-will they increase with 1 speeding ticket-58 years old?

will my insurance increase with one speeding ticket? i have aaa auto insurance

Can my Storage Company force me to buy their Insurance?

I have had the same storage place for over 10 years now, and recently they have been charging me an extra 9 bucks a month to have their insurance. I do not want to have their insurance ( or any insurance for that matter) and wanted to know if I legally have to pay this or if they are doing something illegal? They also charged me for a month that earlier than what they said I initially had to start paying.""

Is there any way a 16 year old minor can get car insurance in his own name in SC?

From what I have read it seems like all I have to do is get my parents permission to get my own plan in my name and that's it. And if you can please give me some car insurance agencies that will give minors car insurance. thank you

insolvency act indemnity insurance quote

insolvency act indemnity insurance quote

Motorcycle insurance?

about how much should it cost?

Home owners Insurance can't afford - help?

a year ago I paid off my mortgage and now I have property taxes which I pay in installments and now home owners insurance, there was enough left in escrow the first year for the mortgage company to pay the property taxes rhe first year, but now I realize I cannot afford the home owners insurance / I'm in a low income job , and it's $600 a year - If I were to cancel the home owners insurance until I get finish my degree to become a teacher in three years would I encounter problems with an another insurance company to get home owners insurance once they know I've been without HOI for say 2-3 years? or what would happen - see I hsve property taxes, hoa do every month etc and I'm living paycheck to paycheck I have car ins cause it's the law / can I just cancel the HOI just for three years until I make more money? advise please""

How much would my insurance cost with 5 point on ds?

How much would my insurance cost with 5 point on ds?

""My car's engine died, therefore I never renewed my car insurance. How can I get my DL reinstated?""

In the meantime, I moved. Even though I provided the agencies with my new address & my email address, I was never properly notified from the insurance company or the DMV office. Now, I discovered my driver's license has been suspended for lack of car insurance. If my car was operable, I would have renewed my insurance. I've always had car insurance, just thought it would be no big deal not renewing it. Also, I have a bill from my auto mechanic stating my car has engine damage and needs a new engine. Is there any way to correct this without paying the reinstatement fee to the DMV? Thanks for any advice!""

Do Americans want Gov't run healthcare like medicaid and medicare or do they want affordable health insurance?

Do Americans want Gov't run healthcare like medicaid and medicare or do they want affordable health insurance?

Insurance companies for a 18 year old new driver?

Ive just recently passed and im in need of a insurance company good for me. Money is tight as im a student and so i need something cheap. Ive been on money supermarket and its hasn't helped much.

Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?

.........and if so, roughly how much money would this cost per month?""

Whats the best dental insurance to cover for braces? AmeriPlan?

braces for adults in general...? and what exactly is AmeriPlan... if they are not insurance...what are they? and are they dependable?

Can we have the car in one name and insurance in the other name?

My boyfriends car is in his dads name. Does anyone know if we could keep the car in his dads name but get the insurance in my boyfriends name???

Car Insurance question?

ok so im a newbie teen at understanding all this so this may sound dumb. When you get car insurance is it insuring the car? or are you getting it to insure you AND the car? my mom said something about adding me onto her insurance as a driver so under her policy that she has she would just add me as a driver? like can someone help me understand like the basics please.

Car insurance claim?

Around a month ago already my passenger side car window got shattered. It's still intact, just completely spidered out. I had been on my thirty minute break from work and parked near the grass side of my apartments. My window was actually rolled down half way too. While inside my apartments ( we live on the first floor very near to where my car was parked) I remember a guy mowing the lawn around the apartments. When I went back outside to go back to work I had saw my window. We know for a fact that the lawn mowing guy ran over a rock and it had hit my window, but we didn't actually see it. Again, my window was rolled down a bit so if someone wanted to break in they could have. I have called the apartments on several occasions and they said they would get back to me on the lawn mowing company so I can make a claim. Still never have. This was almost a month ago. What can I do? If anything since I didn't physically see it? I also only have liability coverage on that car.""

I can't get insurance because I'm not a full time college student what can I do to get insurance?

Ok I'll try to explain this as best I can...so I'm a part time college student and I can't get insurance because I'm only a part time student and I have to be a full time student taking 12 credits to get insurance. I think my doctor is talking about health insurance. I don't know anything about insurance because my dad takes care of that. I can't afford to go to school full time and I don't know what to do.

Is this reasonable amount to pay for term life insurance?

Term Life 30 yrs, $150,000 at $36 monthly...I am 26 years old an in reasonable good health --- non smoker, no dieases, hospitalization (aside from pregnancy), and no alcoholism....if this isn ot reasonable please give me a range that I should be looking for....""

How can I get access to affordable US Health care as an American who lives in France?

It has been almost 2 years and I really feel like there is something not right with my health but the doctors in France aren't listening. I have swollen lymph nodes for over a year now. Some disappear, then reappear in different locations. And I am very fatigued and have itching behind my knees at night that wakes me up. Yet there is not a rash nor insect bite. It seems like the doctors in France rely strictly on complete blood counts for everything and if your blood tests are normal, then there is nothing wrong with you. I wonder if it would be the same in the US system, considering France was the winner of the WHO's Best Medical System in the World award. Shoudl I purchase an insurance plan on the web and seek treatment in the US?""

How much does a broken wrist cost after insurance?

I have a paper from school and in it I must in include all details of a situation. My story line includes a child breaking their wrist. I was wonder what someone would have to pay after insurance? If you could help me be detailed as much as possible like how much would it be for like x rays, doctor visits, medicine, etc. I've never broken anything so Im a bit lost. Even just a average estimate would be appreciated.""

Wat is da average cost of car insurance for a brand new car driven primarily by a teen?

INSURANCE, TEENAGER, COST""

How much is your car insurance? Do u have full coverage? What company do u have?

What state u live in? Do u also have Roadside assistance?

Insurance for a 17 year old male for a Peugeot 205?

I'm turning 17 soon and was wondering if it would be any good to get insurance on a Peugeot 205 or would I be better off getting the classic mini rover.

How much will my car insurance cover damages to the other car?

I backed into a parked car and apparently broke the tail light and a small dent on the bumper; my car didn't have a scratch. I freaked out and left with out leaving a note. About an hour later I get a phone call from police saying I need to come back to the scene. I came back and told them the story of what happened. The guy I hit agreed not to press charges and the officer agreed not to arrest me for hit and run as long as I provided my info. So I cooperative and provided my insurance info. I'm fully covered. Will my insurance company pay for all the damages to the guy's car or only a portion? So far I've only received a phone call from my insurance company that I have $500 deductible. And I have yet to hear from the guy for repair estimates.

A question about car insurnace?

Hello, I just paid my car insurance......the lady said I should get my own insurance so I can start getting my own discounts , I am 30 years old and both my sisters (32 and 28) are on my mom and dad's insurance plan too, we get a multi line and multi car discount that adds up to about $40 dollars every 6 months for me.....I was in a hurry so I didn't really ask why but was wondering about it after I left.....I pay $112 every 6 months so $40 extra would be kind of crazy wouldn't it? Just wondering why......thank you.......""

Insurance company offering me a check to settle? What should I do?

I was in a car accident, where the other driver was 100% at fault. We both have the same insurance. They reimbursed me fully for my car, reimbursed my employer for health expenses (I assume) and I didn't get hurt too bad min the accident besides some whiplash and scrapes on my hand. Today, I get a call and an offer of a $250 check for the inconvenience of being in an accident. It sounds kinda fishy, I thought this case was closed long ago, so I told her to send the offer, in writing, describing the details of this inconvenience check. What exactly is going on here and why would they feel the need to randomly cut me a check? Something doesn't add up.""

350z/RSX Owners - Insurance question?

I'm thinking of getting either the 03 RSX or 350z early next year but some people tell me that insurance will be quite high even if its just liability. So if you own either one of the two, how much do you pay for insurance? I know mine would be slightly higher since I'm only 22. Thanks for any help on this. :)""

My car insurance policy was cancelled due to non payment can my vehicle be towed?

i found myself in a tight position and was unable to pay my car insurance and it was cancelled i curently have no insurance ...can my vehicle be towed?

What is the average price of business insurance?

What is the average price of business insurance?

How much are you paying for car insurance?

How much are you paying for car insurance?

insolvency act indemnity insurance quote

insolvency act indemnity insurance quote

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