#they were 15 and for some reason try some weed

[maxdibert]

Severus Snape and Lily Evans as Chandler Bing and Joey Tribbiani from Friends would be totally like:

Lily: What if you saw a three-legged puppy?

Severus: I’d be sad, sure, but I wouldn’t cry.

Lily: Okay, what if the puppy said, “Help me, Severus, all the other puppies pick on me”?

Severus: Cry? I just found a talking puppy! I’m rich!

[lacroixwh0r3]

The First Taste

DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You meet Joel, your dad's best friend, for the first time after your dad begged you to join them at the lake to keep Sarah company. Both you and Joel become fascinated by each other the moment the two of you met.

Warnings: SMUT!!! DUB CON, heavy sexual tension, drug usage (weed only), petnames, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 21), masturbation (F and M), fingering, voyerism, daddy kink, dom!Joel, Joel is a perv and an asshole, cursing, swimming??, no outbreak

Song inspo (feel free to read if you want): The First Taste by Fiona Apple

PART 2 PART 3

A/N: This takes place four years before Blow My Load, but can be read as a standalone.

Please share, comment, like, and reblog...enjoy lovies! <33

"Dad, I thought it was supposed to be a "boy's trip," and the last time I checked, I am not a boy." You point at your body as you tell your dad. For some reason, he is begging you to come to the lake with him and his friends the day before they leave. "Why won't you just tell me why you want me to go? And maybe I'll give you an answer."

You finally got him to crack.

Your dad let out a defeated sigh as he scratched the back of his head and avoided eye contact. You mentally prepared yourself for whatever bullshit your dad was about to say. "Well, you see, honey, one of the guys couldn't get a babysitter for his kid, and I offered you to keep her company." He winced.

And there it is. The thing he was holding back from you

You let out a sarcastic chuckle. You really couldn't believe this shit. "Are you serious, dad? I refuse to babysit some random kid because you offered me up without even asking me first!" You exclaimed at him. "I don't even know a damn thing about this kid."

"Look, I know it was wrong for me to do that, sweetheart, but I swear Sarah is a good kid. Most of the time she has her headphones in and minds her business." He tries to reason with you, almost pleading with you. You began to feel bad for blowing up on him like that, but it really did piss you off that you had to watch someone else's kid. "I'll even pay you."

This weekend, you planned on doing nothing but self-care. You wanted to do nothing but stay home, watch movies, get a mani and pedi, go get a massage, drink, and maybe even play with the new toy you just bought yourself at Spencers.

You feel yourself giving into your dad; it wasn't the money that made you say yes, but the fact that he always found a way to make you feel bad, even if he didn't mean to do it. "Ugh, fine!" You scoff as you turn to look away from him. From the corner of your eye, you can see his body perk up.

Your dad lets out a sigh of relief, saying, "Thank you so much, sweetheart! You're such a lifesaver; you know that, right?" He slaps your shoulder playfully, causing you to shrug it off and narrow your eyes at him playfully as well.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old is your friend's daughter, anyway?" You asked him, unfazed by it all.

"I think she's around 14?" Your dad said cluelessly. "Not too bad, right? I'm sure that you can find something to talk about with her."

It wasn't that bad, but what the fuck would you, a 21-year-old, have in common with a 14–15-year-old girl?

"I guess. I'm gonna start getting my stuff all packed up," You tell him as you turn around to go up to your room.

"Alright, sweetheart, and thanks again!" He exclaims to you as you make your way farther up the steps.

"Yup!" You yell it out dismissively.

As much as you hated the circumstances, you were happy you were finally able to get away for a little bit.

...

It was the next day, and you were tired as hell after only getting four hours of sleep. You had spent all night packing and stressing about what you were going to wear. It wasn't like you were trying to impress anyone, but this was your first time meeting your dad's friends, and you wanted to look decent.

You had left it up to your dad to pack your things into the car as you were too tired to do anything besides shower, put your clothes on, and lay back down for a little until it was time to go. As you lay face down on the bed, knocked out, you heard your dad knock on the door. "Hey, kiddo, are you ready to head out?" He asked you as he stood at the door.

You slowly sit up on your bed as you yawn and stretch your arms over your head. "Yeah, let me just get up and grab my purse and stuff."

"Got it." Your dad says this before turning around and making his way downstairs.

After moments of sitting on your bed, stairing into space, you got up, grabbed your purse, and began to leave your room. However, on your way to the door, you see the pouch that contained your weed and weed paraphernalia. You hesitantly swiped it from your dresser, dropped it into your bag, and went downstairs.

If the men got to have their fun, why couldn't you?

Once you get to the last step, you hear your dad saying bye to someone on the phone before turning to you. "My buddy, Joel, just got to the lake house, so we should start headin' out." He says this as he grabs his keys and motions for you to follow him to the door.

After making sure the security alarm was set and locking the door, the two of you were finally on your two-hour journey to the lake house.

...

You and your dad finally made it to the lake house. It was a three story house that sat on top of a hill, surrounded by nothing but trees.

You and your dad hop out of the car and start bringing your bags to the front door. All of a sudden, the moment you sat the last bag down and brought your fist up to knock at the door, it swung open, revealing a man who looked to be in his early 30s with short, dark, curly hair.

Beside him was a woman with long locs, smiling warmly at you. Meanwhile, the man looked at you with confusion, trying to piece together who you were. You looked familiar to him, but he couldn't put a name to your face.

"Tommy!" Your dad said loudly behind you. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he greeted him. Tommy's eyes moved to look behind you at your dad, and his eyes lit up.

"Oh man, y'all come on in!" He opened the door wider as he and the unnamed woman moved out of the way to allow you to walk in first, followed by your dad. "I'll grab the rest of the bags out there." Tommy says.

Tommy brought the bags in as your dad greeted the lady. "Hey, Maria!" He asked her as he gave her a side hug. "I didn't know you were gonna be joining us this weekend as well."

So that was her name.

"I didn't think I was going to be joining either. Tommy invited me last minute, so I just decided to take some time off of work," She replies back.

They stood near the entrance as they began to get deeper into the conversation, talking about God knows what, leaving you standing there awkwardly as you watched them. You decided to take that moment to observe the room. Even though the house was spacious, it still had a cozy feel to it.

As you were in your own world, your dad gently slapped his hand on your shoulder unexpectedly. "And this young lady right here is my daughter." He smiles at the two as Maria and Tommy turn their attention to you.

"Nice to meet you, kid," He says as he offers his hand to shake yours, which you accept. You shake hands with him before dropping them to your side. Tommy then points to Maria. "This is my wife, Maria."

You shake hands with her as well while you tell them your name. "It's so great to meet you two!" You beam at the couple.

They begin to ask you a series of questions about yourself, such as what university you attended, what your major was, and so on, to which you gladly answer.

However, in the midst of your conversation, your words are abruptly interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening, followed by heavy footsteps. "And here comes my asshole brother, Joel, and my niece, Sarah," Tommy says to you, prompting both you and your dad to look behind you. You can hear Maria let out a loud laugh at Tommy's words.

Your eyes immediately focused on him as he got closer to you, not even paying attention to the fact that his daughter was right behind him as well.

The man named Joel had short, dark, curly hair like Tommy’s; the only difference is that he is a lot shorter, and the roots of his hair were slightly gray at his temples. Joel also had a patchy beard with a thick mustache. He has this rugged and mysterious look to him that completely enraptures you.

He and your dad greet each other, giving a quick bro hug and pulling away. Joel then turns to you, and you feel your hands quiver. His dark, dominant eyes intensify the intimidating aura that surrounds him, yet it still makes him even more interesting to you.

Holy hell, you think to yourself. This man is so fucking fine.

You continued to stare at Joel, saying absolutely nothing, until you realized that he was giving you a confused look as if he were waiting for something. Your eyes darted down, and you realized that he had his hand out, waiting for you to shake it. You felt your face heat up with embarrassment as you went to shake his hand.

"Joel," was all he said as the two of you shook hands before he let go and discreetly rubbed his hands into his shirt. You could feel yourself shrink with embarrassment as he did this. Not only did he not even give you a chance to introduce yourself, but he wiped his hands after shaking yours.

What a fucking jerk! Tommy was right; he is an asshole.

You quickly snapped out of your feelings when you realized that Sarah was now in front of you. She wore a pink crop top and jean shorts, while her curly hair was placed in a low ponytail.

She suddenly brings you in for a hug with a massive smile on her face, catching you off guard. Nonetheless, you still happily return the hug.

"I'm Sarah. It's nice to meet you!" Unlike Joel, Sarah was a lot more friendly with you. She had this radiant energy to her that made you wonder where she got it from because it definitely wasn't from Joel's grumpy ass. You tell her your name.

"It's nice to meet you as well, Sarah!" I return a smile back to her. She seems like the sweetest 14-year-old you've ever met. "I think we're gonna get along just fine this weekend."

"We sure are!"" She agrees.

"Sarah, sweetheart, how've you been?" Your dad asked her.

As your dad began to talk to Sarah, you decided to check Joel out while he listened to the conversation, occasionally putting in his two cents. Unlike the rest of the group, Joel wore a dark gray shirt, jeans, and some boots.

How is he not hot?

I mean, he is hot, but I meant temperature-wise, you think, causing yourself to let out a low chuckle.

You guess you said that out loud because Joel’s head, along with Maria's, Sarah's, and Tommy's, suddenly snapped over to you with eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Your dad's voice slowly began to fade when he saw the mortified expression on Sarah's face.

"Wait, what happened?" Your dad asked cluelessly as he looked around the group. He was so in his own world that he didn't hear what you said. Thank-fucking-goodness. "Everyone just stopped talking all of a sudden."

"Nothing!" You quickly tell him as you give him a disengenious smile before looking at everyone else. Sarah looked embarrassed for you, as Tommy and Maria still looked shocked. You get a glimpse of Joel as you wince in embarrassment and close your eyes; he had this smug look on his face.

You gathered that Tommy obviously loves to fuck around with people because he let out a stifled laugh, causing his wife to slap his arm and tell him to shut up.

You just wanted to die right then and there. This is now the second time today you've embarrassed yourself in front of this sexy ass man.

Your dad, being the clueless person he is, continues on with whatever he is talking about, not even realizing that no one is paying attention to him. Maria interrupts your dad as she clears her throat to catch your attention. She had a sympathetic look on her face. "Sweetie, your room is on the second floor next to, uh, Joel's, if you wanna get settled in," She offered to you. "We're going to head out to the lake and start putting some things on the grill around 2 or so." You just nodded your head because you were too afraid to speak.

"Hey, Joel?" Tommy looked at his brother with a teasing look on his face. "Why don't you go show her to her room, yeah?" He nods his head in the direction of the staircase.

You wished that you could just punch Tommy across the face at this very moment.

"Umm yeah..." Joel agrees slowly as he gives Tommy a dirty look before glancing at you. "Follow me," You nodded your head and grabbed your purse and other bags. As you followed Joel, the group quietly picked up their conversation again.

Without saying a word to each other, you and Joel arrive in the room. He steps aside, allowing you to enter, and turns around to make his way down the hallway to go back downstairs, but you quickly stopped him before he could get any further. "Hey, I'm sorry about what happened down there." You apologized to him. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything."

Joel just turns around and gives you a small smirk. "Oh, darlin', I'm far from uncomfortable. I'm actually flattered...more than flattered as a matter of fact." He winks at you before departing down the hallway, leaving you shocked.

You were somewhat relieved that Joel wasn't disgusted by you, but it still didn't help with your embarrassment as much as you hoped it would.

You scanned the room, taking in the room that you were going to be spending your weekend sleeping in. The walls were painted a light gray. There was a queen-sized bed that looked really comfortable and had bedside tables on each side as well as a TV, which was mounted onto the wall opposite the bed. There was a door that led to a balcony. You could see an overview of the calm lake and the tall trees. It was a beautiful view.

...

It's been a while since you went downstairs with everyone. You were still so embarrassed by the incident this morning that you decided to spend most of your time scrolling through social media and catching up with your college friends. The only time you came out of the room was to go to the bathroom.

You eventually rolled out of bed and worked up the courage to join everyone.

After changing your clothes that you had on earlier and putting on your swim suit, you slipped on your oversized shirt, put on some waterproof mascara, and put on some lip gloss.

You made sure to grab your sunglasses, put on your flip-flops, and jogged down the steps.

Once you got down there, you realized that Maria was in the kitchen. You headed towards her, quickly greeting her. "Hi, Maria," You say while positioning yourself behind the chairs on the island. She was gathering something that she needed to put outside.

"Hey, sweetheart!" Maria happily greets you back with a smile as she turns her attention to you. "How're you feeling?" She asked you gingerly as she looked at you with sympathy. Her goal wasn't to embarrass you; she truly wanted to know if you were okay after earlier.

You felt yourself begin to get flustered. "I'm fine. Thanks for asking." You sheepishly replied. You avoided her eyes, beginning to feel awkward.

"Of course. They're out in the back; you should join them." She points to the sliding door. You just nodded your head and made your way to the door. Before you went out there, you stood there looking outside. You could see Joel's tall figure standing over the grill as he flipped the meat and sipped on his beer.

You felt yourself getting nervous just looking at him.

You then looked and saw your dad helping Joel take the food off the grill and start to place it on the table. Meanwhile, Sarah and Tommy sat at the table, talking to each other. Whatever Tommy had said made them let out loud laughs, causing Joel quickly turned around, let out a chuckle, and shook his head. He then went back to putting things on the rest of the food on the serving platter.

His smile is so gorgeous, it almost takes your breath away.

"Are you going out, sweetheart?" Maria asked behind you, startling you. You had forgotten that she was still here.

You turned to her as you began to stammer over your words and realized that her hands were full with plasticware and plates. "Do you need me to help you take those?" You asked her without even answering her question.

"I do actually," She just looked at you with a questionable look before speaking up again. "Can you just grab the forks and spoons from the top and place them on the table out there, please?" She asked. You grabbed the utensils before turning back around and opening the door.

They didn't notice you at first until Sarah caught sight of you and loudly called out your name as you got closer, causing Joel to look over at you as he closed the grill's top.

"Sarah!" You exclaimed dramatically. Once you reached the table, you sat the plasticware down and went over to sit next to her.

You noticed that her hair was wet and that she was wrapped in a towel. "What've you been up to, girlfriend?" You asked her as you sat down in the seat.

"Nothing much; I just took a quick dip in the lake, and now I am starving," Sarah whined out as she looked over at her dad, who was coming over with the food.

You can hear the sound of Joel's heavy feet approaching behind you and stopping at the free seat at the end of the table, which was next to you. He first put the food in the middle of the table, then plopped himself down. We all began to put things on our plates and begin eating.

Tommy grumbled something about starving, causing Sarah to make a joke about how he was always starving. In reply, Tommy stuck his tongue out at the young girl in a teasing manner.

As Joel ate, he was manspreading under the table. You could feel his hairy, bare leg graze against yours, making you move your leg away. Joel wiped his mouth with the napkin, took a sip of his beer, and looked at you with a blank stare, not saying anything.

You decided to speak up and compliment him on the food. "Joel, this is really good," You smile. Everyone hummed in agreement as they ate.

"Why thank you, darlin'?" Joel says, going back to eating.

...

After eating, we all sat there with our tummies full as we sat around talking about whatever came to mind. That was until Sarah ran into the house without saying a word.

"Oh goodness, that girl." He sat back as he watched his daughter running around the house through the sliding door before running back outside with a box of Uno cards.

"Who wants to play?" She asked the whole table as she ran to her seat and plopped down.

We all agreed. She began to shuffle the cards, dealt them out to everyone, and then set up the game. It first started with you, Joel, Maria, Tommy, then your dad, and lastly Sarah.

Sarah was the first one to get Uno, even though she had the most cards at one point. We all accused her of cheating, which she was quick to deny. No one at the table believed her, especially Tommy and Maria. She just rolled her eyes and helped your dad while he was stuck figuring out which cards to play next.

While the two silently argued about which card was the best, you looked over at Joel and saw that all his cards were showing. You looked around and noticed that no one was paying attention to his cards. Tommy and Maria were sitting there watching your dad and Sarah.

"You're bleedin', Joel," you whisper to him as you point to his card. His face scrunched up with confusion as to what you meant. He looked down at himself and saw no blood.

"What, sugar? I ain't bleedin' anywhere," He said as he tried to recall if he had maybe scraped himself anywhere, but it wasn't coming to him. You couldn't help, but laugh at his confusion.

"It means your cards are showing, Joel." You giggled at him as he chuckled a bit and put his cards up so that he wasn't "bleeding" anymore.

"That's so stupid, who taught you that?" You just shrugged your shoulders at his question and looked back over to see if your dad had finally picked up his card yet.

"Oh my gosh, this isn't rocket science, dad! Just pick a card already!" You exclaimed it, causing everyone to laugh.

"I'm tryin', I'm tryin'!" Your dad waved you off as he went back to silently arguing with Sarah about which card to choose.

The game got drawn out longer than it was supposed to because every other minute someone (usually Tommy) would start arguing about another person cheating. And in the end, Tommy lost the game.

We put the cards away as everyone except for Maria decided to hang out by the dock and take a swim. She said something about having to get on the phone with a client of hers, but she would come join us when she was done and would bring popsicles.

You and Sarah walked in front of your dad, Joel, and Tommy until you yelled out, "Beat you there!" to Sarah as you both haphazardly ran down the steps to get to the dock.

"You girls, be careful down those stairs now! Don't want y'all gettin' hurt," Joel yells out from behind. The two of you don't respond or slow down; you just keep giggling and running. Joel had to suppress a smile from appearing on his face. It brought him joy to hear how much fun Sarah was having with you.

Once you make it to the dock, Sarah flings off her towel and jumps into the lake with a squiel before she goes under water and floates back up. You quickly kick off your flip flops, throw your sunglasses down, and take off your shirt. Unlike Sarah, you didn't jump into the water, you sat down on the dock and scooched into the water.

Oh, come on! You should've jumped in!" She says this to you as she splashes you with water. You splashed her back.

"I'm too afraid, Sar-bear!" You yelled out to her, and she gasped. The men appeared from the concrete steps just as she did so. Joel dropped the towels in his arms before walking over in front of us, while your dad and Tommy moved to the other side of the dock with their beers and their folding chairs.

"Dad, can you believe that she's too afraid to jump into the water?" Sarah yells out to her dad.

He looked down at you from the dock with his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Really? It's not that scary, sweetheart," He tells you.

"Then how about you get in, Joel?" You say to him without even thinking.

"Yeah, come on, dad. Get in and show her how it's done!" Sarah yells out as she encourages her dad to get in.

You watched Joel as he took off his shoes and shirt, all while keeping his eyes on you. You couldn't help but suck in a breath and bite your bottom lip when he pulled off his shirt. You got a glimpse of his shirtless chest. Joel wasn't the most muscular man, but whatever his job was, it kept him fit, and you loved it. Your eyes quickly scanned over his neck, then his broad shoulders.

Those damn shoulders of his. You wished you could hold onto them as you rode on his co-

Your thoughts were abruptly shattered when Joel took a big leap into the lake, causing a splash of water to hit your face and go up your nose. You tried to make an attempt at turning your head, but it was too late. You coughed as you tried to clear the water from your lungs. As you do so, Joel comes up from beneath the water.

He gasped as he allowed the air back into his lungs and used his big hands to wipe his face. Once he noticed that you were coughing, he quickly swam over to you with a look of concern.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He asked you as you let out one last cough and nodded your head. He brought his hand up to stroke the side of your head and gave you this tender look before pulling away when he noticed that Sarah was coming over.

If it were just you and Joel on the lake, he would've probably pulled you into his body and placed a soft kiss on your lips.

Even though he had just gotten into the lake, Joel decided to get out before he did something that he would regret.

"Alright, girls. I'm gonna get out now." He says more to Sarah than to you. Once again, you just nodded your head at him. You knew that if you spoke, you'd embarrass yourself again.

"Wha-Dad! You literally just got in." She tries to convince him, but he just shook his head and grabbed onto the rails. He pulls himself up with a grunt and walks onto the dock.

"I'll get back in in a little bit." He dismissed her as he went to get a towel.

Sarah began to say something to you as she swam around you, but you were too focused on Joel to listen to what she was saying. She was too busy talking to notice that you weren't listening. Your attention was stuck on Joel, and his wet shorts stuck to his surprisingly nice ass. He then turns around as he dries off. Your eyes drifted down and widening when you saw his bulge. You were taken aback by the sight.

Oh my god, you thought to yourself.

You looked back up at his face to realize that Joel was already staring at you and smirking while he wrapped the towl around his waist.

Oh fuck!

He obviously saw you staring at his cock because he was fucking smirking.

Joel walked over to have a seat with his brother and your dad. You diverted your attention back to Sarah, acting as if you knew what she was talking about. You just nodded your head a couple of times, and she believed it, but again, your mind drifted.

You were thinking about her dad; snap out of it for Christ's sake.

For the rest of your time at the lake, you refused to look at Joel. And just as promised, Maria finally joined you all about an hour later with the popsicles she said she would bring. Once we ate them, Maria convinced the other adults to have a swim in the lake, to which they all agreed after some groans and pressure from her and Sarah.

...

After spending most of the afternoon outside, everyone went off to do their own thing. Sarah decided to take a shower and then go to sleep while your dad, Tommy, and Maria opted to go out to a bar that a local had told them about, and Joel refused to go out tonight because he said that he was beat from the lake. As for you, you took a quick shower and decided to watch the sunset on the balcony that was connected to your room and smoke.

Before slipping onto the balcony, you grabbed a preroll and a lighter from the pouch, your headphones, and a water bottle from the bed.

When you first got here, you didn't notice that there was a door connected to the balcony that led to Joel's room. However, the sheer curtains were closed, so you could only assume that he was asleep, meaning it was safe for you to smoke without him seeing you. You sat down on the lounge chair, put your headphones on, turned on some music, and began your session.

After two hits of the preroll, you felt the effects of the weed. Your body began to relax, and your eyelids felt slightly heavy. As you continued smoking, you couldn't escape the thought of Joel. You know that he is your dad's friend, and you would never think to go after him, but you have to admit that he is an attractive older man. Just your type.

You barely spoke to him throughout the couple of hours you had been there, yet you could tell the type of man he was. He is very reserved, doesn't speak unless spoken to, and likes to observe. Joel is respectful, but he didn't take shit from anyone. It was very visible that he was protective of not only Sarah but also Tommy.

Everything about him drew you in more and more.

With a few more hits of your preroll, you see a figure standing in the corner of your eye just a few feet away from you, causing you to quickly pull off your headphones and flick the preroll from your fingers and off the balcony. You look over to see Joel watching you with his eyebrows frowned and his hands on his hips. Your eyes widen with shock.

"Shit! I mean, hey, Joel..." You smile up at him awkwardly, trying to seem as sober as possible. "What are you doing out here?" You asked him in a sickly sweet voice. He continues to stare at you before answering.

"I just came out here to check on you. Heard you out here, so I decided to see what you were up to." Joel grumbles as he switches his weight to his other foot.

You prayed that Joel didn't know you were out here smoking weed; your dad would kill you if he heard about you doing this. Little did you know that your attempt would be a complete failure. As soon as Joel walked outside, he could smell the smoke and aroma of weed. He could also see your bloodshot eyes.

"Oh, yknow, nothing much really, just out here enjoying the view and listening to music!" You say this while waving your hand, gesturing to the view in front of both of you. You visibly cringe after this sentence because, even though it was the truth, it wasn't the full truth. He seemed to buy it, so you relaxed a bit.

"Mm, you enjoyed yourself today?" he asked.

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun today. Sarah definitely made it fun for me, she's amazing." You admitted to him, and it was true. His daughter was truly a joy to be around.

"Yeah," He laughs out as he looks out at the sunset, his handsome smile threatening to appear on his face. "She's amazing, for sure." He whispers. You can't help but smile at his words. It was refreshing to see that there was someone who was able to crack his hard exterior.

A silence falls over the two of you before he speaks up again. "Y'know, when we were walking back to the car after the lake, she talked about you the whole time. I couldn't shut up about how much cooler you are than Tommy and me." He scoffs as he rolls his eyes playfully and folds his arms to his chest. His confession made you laugh so hard that you couldn't stop, which caused him to laugh as well.

"I mean, she isn't wrong." You teasingly say it to him, causing him to shake his head.

"Yeah-fuckin'-right, darlin'. I can be cool, too."

"Mmhmm.." You reply back to him as you turn your head to look back at the view. However, Joel's eyes remained on you, but you didn't mind too much.

Once again, silence fell over you two. You wanted to look back at Joel, but you knew that if you looked at him in the eyes, your heart would beat out of your chest.

"Did you enjoy yourself, Joel?" You asked him without looking at him.

"What?" Joel asked.

Was he that engrossed in my face that he wasn't even paying attention, or were you not loud enough?

You suppress your laugh as you turn your head to look at him again. "I asked if you enjoyed yourself today." He quickly snaps out of his trance and looks away.

"Oh, yeah, it was enjoyable for the most part, sweetie," Joel sighs out. You said nothing else after this.

You didn't realize it until now, but you were starting to grow tired from the weed. You also wanted a snack.

"Well, I'm going to head back in, maybe fall asleep to a movie or something." You tell him as you grab your belongings, get up from the chair, and walk to the door.

"Alright," He says as he watches every step you take. "And one last thing, darlin'," You stop with your hand on the doorknob and look up at Joel as you wait to hear what he has to say. With a mix of your high and the nervousness you were feeling because of Joel, your heart was pounding out of your chest at this point.

"You don't gotta lie to me, sweet girl. You know that, right?" He says lowly as he motioned to his eyes.

Fuck!

Your body tenses up, and you freeze. You decided to play dumb, even though you were caught. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Joel," You say as you let out a nervous laugh. Your eyes shifted to the ground, avoiding eye contact with Joel like a guilty puppy.

"Oh, no need to play stupid with me, sweet girl; I won't tell your daddy." Something about the way he said these words made you want him so bad; it was almost like he was teasing you.

You felt your walls crumbling, no longer feeling the need to lie to him. "You swear, Joel?" You asked him as you looked at him with pleading eyes.

Joel wished that you would look at him with those pretty eyes while you were on your knees, pleading and begging for him to feed you his cock. In all honesty, he'd give you the world if you asked for it with that look. You made Joel feel something he hasn't felt for a woman in years, and he was willing to do just about anything to have you. However, he could tell you weren't ready for that yet, but he knew in due time he'd have you.

"You have my word, darlin'," He nods his head. "Just don't lie to me again," Joel tells you as he points a finger.

You frantically nod your head in agreement as you bite your lip. "I won't do it again, Joel."

All Joel could think about was how obedient you are, so eager to please him and do as he says. He could feel his cock getting hard in his shorts as he looked at your bare thighs and had these thoughts. Not once did you realize that Joel was checking you out.

Oh, how badly Joel wanted to grab your chin and kiss those lips of yours. He kept reminding himself that he needed to be patient.

"Good." He says before speaking up again. "You should go inside, darlin', maybe get some rest." Joel insisted as he made his way to the door and gave you one last look before walking inside, leaving you outside by yourself.

You stand there dumbfounded for a moment as you think about your interaction with Joel. You weren't sure if it was just you thinking too much into the interaction, but you felt like there was some sexual tension between you and Joel.

Any time you're around him, nervousness takes over, and a sense of yearning aches deep in your bones.

You needed him badly.

"Don't," You say to yourself. "Don't fucking think about it." You say it lowly as you try to shake the thoughts out of your head.

Joel is off limits; he's your dad's best friend.

You realized how crazy you must look standing at the door thinking about Joel, so you went inside.

Once you entered the room, you noticed that it was a little too warm in there for your liking, so you decided to leave the balcony door cracked to get some fresh air.

You put your things away, got into bed, and watched a movie on the TV across the room.

...

You weren't sure when you fell asleep, but you did during the movie without even realizing it. You felt very discombobulated, so you sat in the dark for a few minutes. Your clothes felt disgusting on your body as you sweated through them, and your throat was dry.

You quickly got out of bed, slipped off your clothes, got back into bed, and took a sip of the water bottle that lay next to you. During this, you got a glimpse of the digital clock that sat on the bedside table. It read 12:48.

The house was quiet. You were sure that Maria, Tommy, and your dad were back from the bar by now and asleep. Sarah and Joel were probably sleeping as well.

You laid back down on the bed, pushing away the uncomfortable blanket, leaving your body bare. You should have gotten up to close the door because if Joel were to come to your balcony door, he'd surely get a glimpse of your naked body. However, you were still sleepy and a little high, so you lacked the motivation to get up.

It really didn't matter anyway; he's probably still sleeping.

You had laid restless in the bed, constantly flipping the pillows to get the cool side and changing positions, but you still couldn't sleep. You decided to lay on your stomach; it helped you fall asleep sometimes.

You knew one thing that would definitely make you fall asleep, but with a particular someone lingering in your thoughts, it felt wrong. It is completely wrong to have these thoughts about him.

He's way too old for you, and he's your dad's best friend.

Though you tried your best to resist these thoughts, you couldn't help yourself.

Fuck it, it's not like I'm gonna actually fuck him, you think to yourself.

You were suddenly taken back to earlier, when you first laid eyes on him. Those eyes and the curve of his nose. You wanted nothing more than to feel his beautiful nose rub against your clit while he ate you out.

Or when he shook your hands and you felt those thick, rough fingers against your smooth hands.

You were sure that Joel knew how to use them very well.

Subconsciously, your hips had bucked into the bed, trying to get friction onto your clit causing the headboard to hit against the wall ever-so-slightly.

"Shit!" You cursed out loud, hoping that Joel didn't hear. Your heart was pounding at the thought of being caught by him, but your pussy dripped with your wetness.

You waited a couple seconds until you took your hand from underneath the pillow and slowly moved it between the bed and your body, allowing your finger tips to graze against your pussy. You couldn't help but whimper at the feeling. Your arousal ran down your fingers, to your knuckles, and onto the bed.

What you didn't know was that Joel wasn't even in his room; he was sitting out on the balcony. He had been sitting out there for about an hour or so because he couldn't sleep, not with you on his mind, so he decided to sit out there and bore himself to death until he got some sleep. When he first came outside, he checked on you and saw that you were knocked out. The room was dark, and the only thing that brought some light to the room was the bright moonlight reflecting over the lake.

As Joel got up to check on you one last time before he went back to his room, he heard you let out a whimper. He slowly walked to your balcony door so that he wouldn't scare you in case you were having a nightmare, but that wasn't the case at all. Again, Joel heard you let out another noise.

First, you sharply gasped, then moaned out, "Oh, Fuck!"

Joel became more intrigued with whatever was going on in your room because it became very apparent that you weren't having a nightmare. In fact, it didn't even sound like you were sleeping anymore.

Like a thief in the night, Joel peered through the door that was half open. What he saw before him could've brought him to his knees.

You were lying down on your stomach, fully naked on the bed. He noticed that with your right hand, you were touching yourself. Joel wasn't hard before, but he's definitely hard now. He felt as his cock strained against the fabric of his shorts.

Joel knew it was wrong to watch you masturbate without knowing, but he couldn't take his eyes off of you. It had been nearly two years since the last time he had been sexually active, and quite honestly, it was catching up to him at that very moment. He had been so busy with everything in his life that sex was the last thing on his mind until now.

As Joel watched you hump your hips into your fingers, you were imagining a shirtless Joel sat up on the bed, with you sitting in between his legs. Your legs would be wide open, propped up over his, as you allowed his calloused middle and ring finger to collect your arousal from between your folder and rub it into your clit. With his deep Texas accent, he would be whispering into your ear about how much of a good girl you are and how wet you were for him. Your head would be laid on his sexy, broad shoulders as your eyes rolled with pleasure. You imagined that as he played with your clit, his other hand would touch your breast and quickly tweak your nipples as they continued going up and firmly wrapping around your neck.

You were so caught up in your thoughts and pleasure that you hadn't realized that you were moaning out Joel's name.

"J-Joel, please," You quivered out quietly enough so that you weren't too loud, but loud enough for Joel to hear. "I'll be good, p-please, daddy." You followed up.

Even though you thought that Joel was in the next room over (which he wasn't) and there were other people in the house, you still continued to touch yourself as the headboard faintly knocked against the wall.

Yet you were so blissfully unaware of it all. So unaware of the fact that Joel was standing right outside the door, watching you rubbing yourself completely nude, and unaware that Joel had pulled his cock out while he watched and listened to you.

Joel didn't care that what he was doing was wrong. He didn't care that watching you, this freshly 21-year-old, masturbate without your knowledge was bad.

The sounds of your panting, moans, and dirty talk made him want to walk right into the room and give you the pleasure you needed.

Joel has always been a selfish lover when it came to the bedroom; he liked to be the one who was dominant and always took control. He could tell you needed someone like him to fulfill your desires—not some foolish 20-something year old, but a real man.

As you continued to grind against your fingers, Joel saw how your ass moved back and forth. He wanted to spank you for being such a naughty girl. Touching yourself without asking for his permission. He would remind you that only slutty, bad girls did that.

He jerked his cock at the same speed as your hips moved. "Oh my god, daddy!" You moaned into the pillow, causing it to be muffled. The thrusting of your hips had sped up. You were on the cusp of cumming, but that changed when you suddenly pulled your hands from between your legs and got up to change positions.

You were now lying on your back with your legs bent up to your chest as far as they could go. Using the hand you just used to grind up against, you bring your middle and ring fingers to your mouth. You began to suckle on them intensely, pretending they were Joel's fingers. You could taste yourself as you did so.

A minute later, you pop your fingers out of your mouth and bring them down to your pussy. As you sink your fingers inside yourself, you can feel the wetness, allowing you to slip deeper into your tight hole. You squirmed as you felt a little discomfort due to your fingers. You decided to slowly thrust your fingers in and out, allowing yourself to get used to the feeling. With your free hand, you brought it up to your mouth to muffle your soft whines.

Oh, my baby, she can barely take her own fingers, Joel thought as he watched you.

To Joel's surprise, you still didn't see him standing by the door, hastily jerking himself off at the sight of you. It wasn't like he was being discreet about it either. He was almost fully through the door at that point. Your eyes were closed as you fingered yourself.

Finally, you were able to adjust to your fingers. As you picked up the speed, Joel could hear the wet, slick sounds coming from your pussy all the way across the room. Hearing this only heightens the pleasure for him.

"Joel, I'm-oh my god-I'm gonna cum!" You moaned lowly.

Joel wanted to be the one to make you cry, but he knew he couldn't at that moment.

Your messy wetness had allowed your fingers to go deeper inside, causing you a certain spot. Your legs shuddered as your finger tips grazed the spot. In a 'come here' motion, you continued to hit the spot over and over again. "Fuck! That's it, baby. Keep going just like that." You purred out.

Joel convulsed at the way you said these words. He was ready to cum at any moment, but he wanted to cum with you.

With his hand still rapidly moving up and down his length, he finally heard your release.

"Yes! I'm cumming all over your fingers, Joel!" You moaned a little louder this time. Joel could hear you breathing hard as you continued to ramble about how good it felt.

Instantly, Joel was cumming. He withheld his groans and grunts as the hot cum hit the palm of his other hand. Instead, he was breathing hard through his nose, hoping to God that you couldn't hear him.

Finally, your orgasm began to die down. "Oh my god," You sighed out blissfully, as you pulled your finger from your pussy. Your legs moved from your chest and you dropped down on the bed. You were still trying to catch your breath. With his mind still cloudy from cumming so hard, when Joel saw you move your legs, he thought that you were going to get off the bed, causing him to panic and move away from the door so that you couldn't see him.

You could feel the cum webbing between your two fingers. You decided that you wanted a look, so you opened your eyes and brought your hand close to your face. You could see the bright moonlight illuminate your cum. You'd never come so hard. Not with any of your hookups, let alone when you masturbated.

You felt spent after that, but you needed to get up to clean yourself off. You decided to rest your eyes a bit before getting up, but without even realizing it, you had dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

Less than five minutes later, Joel heard light snores coming from your room, so he decided that it was safe to look again. You were dead to the world. Joel saw your limp hand hanging off the bed—the same one you had used to fuck yourself with. He could see the wetness gleaming on your fingers. He wanted to come over them and suck your cum off of your fingers, but he stopped himself.

The post-nut clarity had hit Joel, and he realized that he must've looked like a creep with his cock out while he watched you sleep. So he closed your balcony door and headed back into the house to wash the cum from his hands.

Joel knew that he would have you one day; it didn't matter how long it took for him to get you. He would get you right where he wanted you eventually.

...

You woke up feeling like a brand new person that morning. Your limbs felt loose, and you felt like you could conquer the world.

You could feel the sun on your naked body as you rose out of bed to stretch. The sounds of people moving around let you know that everyone was awake.

You suddenly realized that the balcony door was now closed. You don't remember getting up to clean yourself, and you definitely don't remember ever getting up to close the door.

Realization had hit you hard, and your heart dropped.

Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

There was no way anyone could have come into your room because you had locked the bedroom door. However, Joel had access to the shared balcony.

He was the only one who could've closed that door.

Whatever, you were going to enjoy yourself this weekend and act like nothing happened.

=============================================

A/N: I had a lot of trouble writing this for some reason, but next one is going to be a lot better. I got so much planned already hehe

[glitter-stained]

I don't know if you've already talked about this but I've seen a couple panels where Jason encourages underage drinking (with Tim specifically) and I was wondering what your thoughts were on that. Personally I think it's out of character for him, but then again, a lot of his rules about kids don't apply to Tim

So you have to understand that I don't mean to be rude or mean or anything but I think your perspective is so alien to me I simply don't know how to answer this question.

In Germany, the legal drinking age is 16. My experience with underage drinking is like, that time we drank straight out of the tap of the beer fountain at a party when I was fourteen (supplied to us by a friend's mom), drinking vodka at another party at 15, etc. Did we do it frequently? Absolutely not. Did our parents know about this? You bet they did. Should we maybe not have done some of that stuff? Maybe. I do know about binge-drinking and the developing teenage brain. I also genuinely believe that the fact I knew we didn't have to go behind our parents' backs too much was good for our rebellious asses, because 15 years old me for sure would have drank myself into a coma just to stick it to my mom if she had forbidden it entirely, and doubly so if it had been illegal. The understanding of biological mechanisms and health risks, threat of tremendous hangovers and the resources provided and accessible to us in highschool were much better deterrents/reasons to not drink or drink reasonably than if everyone had made a big deal out of it. All of this to say, my perspective of underage drinking is very, very different from the one you suggest in this ask, and I genuinely have a hard time trying to figure out how "Jason suggesting him and Tim (sixteen according to the panel if i recall correctly, logic be damned) drink alcohol together" would constitute a violation of Jason's rule to the Gotham gang leaders of "don't sell drugs to children". Like there is a world of difference between handing a twelve years old a baggie of heroine and Jason and Tim performing "underage drinking" by US-American standards (which are, to my non-US-American eyes, completely baffling). Unless of course we assume that the only drugs Gotham trades in are weed, alcohol and tobacco.

On top of that I think our understanding of the characters' dynamic differs greatly. Tim and Jason in post-crisis have a two years difference, three max; Cut 6 months dead, 1 year for coma, and then I cut off the two years he spent "catatonic" because he was in a deeply altered state of mind, though this position is debated amongst fans. When Jason comes back, he's thus 16-17, 18 at a big, big maximum. Tim is at the very least older than 16 since they made a big deal of his 16th birthday with the psychological abuse conspiration test plot. All this to say: I'm assuming you're referring to Jason's attack on Titan Tower when you say Jason makes exceptions to his rules with Tim, but I just don't see it, since A) Jason and Tim are in the same age-range, give or take one or two years on either side, and B) neither of them is a child in that comic, which is the earliest they meet and thus the youngest they are in their interactions: they're in their middle-to-late teens. So while I do agree that Jason's rule in UTH can be broadened to an interpretation of "don't fuck with kids", I think this is a complete non-issue wrt his fight with Tim (or Mia, btw), especially from Jason's perspective; otherwise him drinking and fighting people would also be a violation of his rules. Now I do want to say wrt Tim's age, it is later retconning (in the panel you're referencing) to be a little lower (I think he's sixteen in that panel?) because dc doesn't want to let tim drake age. That's still not a big age difference, Jason is still very young in that panel, DC just has a vested interest in keeping Tim young and making you forget how young Jason is. They're still in the same broad age-range. And because this retcon happens later than the titan tower fight, and no explanation that deaged tim's origin has been granted to my knowledge, that retcon has no bearing on the actual power dynamic at stake in the TT fight.

I genuinely don't mean to come off as mean or rude, though I'm aware that I probably do despite my best effort, I just... I feel like both our worldview and our view of the characters differ too much for anything I have to say on the matter to be of any interest to you, idk.

[unsoundedcomic]

Whumptober 2024 - 15 - "Childhood Trauma"

Will Argenti leaned in close, to be heard above the chatter of the busy tea house. "Do you ever dream about it?"

He sounded sad, uncertain. Mikaila wasn't so very much in the correct temper for sad uncertainty. "Look," she answered instead, grinning and pointing through the crowd. Her friend Genevieve was trying to balance four little plates of green tart, two in each hand. "Genny!" Mikaila called, "Genny, you're listing starboard! Ah! There you are, perfect! Upright! Upright! Impeccable! You're almost here-! Will, no!"

Will had moved to vacate his seat and help her, but Mikaila held him fast by the arm. "There is Mr Farold," she whispered, gesturing to a red-faced Soud scolding two Soud waitresses near the dessert case, "We need him to see her excellent balance and coolness under pressure. Genevieve is questing for employment here in the spring, while her Tomas ventures to Grettaerin on an errand for the family. Her father said she can wait for him if she brings in some coin while he is gone. Is that not the most romantic thing?"

"I don't want Genevieve serving here," Will groused, "She hates me and she'll skimp on pours."

"Genny is a perfect doll," Mikaila protested, "If she doesn't like you there is some good reason for it."

"I might have called Tomas a cocksucker once."

Mikaila's hand flew to her lips but the laugh was too fast for her, and spilled out everywhere. Will would never use such language with the other girls. But those were other girls. "What did Tomas do to you?" she asked merrily. Will shrugged a shoulder and started emptying his pipe into a drained tea glass.

"He was spelling his boots clean and I didn't like the way he asked me why mine were so muddied. He knew why. Cocksucker."

Mikaila exhaled through her teeth, one eye still on Genevieve's cake walk. "Is it growing worse, old bean?"

"I don't like pymary, is all," Will answered without answering, "I don't like it. You can tutor me until the silver's gone out my hair and into yours, but I'll never like it."

Mikaila didn't doubt it. She'd learned it was her good friend's heart and her good friend's memories that were in the way of her good friend's spellcraft. There was otherwise no reason why a young Silver gentleman with William Argenti's prospects had such difficulties conversing with the khert. "You think about it too much," she diagnosed, quieter, "I see it come upon you, when you cast. You tremble like the last… like the last bead of water, hanging to the kettle spout. You're so afraid of… what? Falling? Failing?"

Some guttural grunt hunched in Will's throat. He looked away. "I'm not bloody afraid. I just don't like it."

Wisely, Mikaila did not press the point. Genevieve had been stopped by Mr Farold. Some earnest conversation was happening there, but still the tart plates wobbled. How might Mikaila salvage them if they started to tip? So delicate, the motions so erratic. Her palms burned as she thoughtfully licked her lips and considered Momentum reversals. Oh, Ssael, would it be worse if Genny lost a plate or two or if four tarts catapulted up splat! against the ceiling?

Will watched her intently. Then, again, he asked: "Do you dream about it?"

"Hmm?" She jiggled her head a little as though dislodging a fly. "Sometimes. Less and less. But then I wake up, and it is today. The sun is high, there are new things to learn, and everyone I love is here and safe."

"Not everyone."

Mikaila's attention did not stray from Genevieve and her four plates.

"You remember him better than I do, Will. Don't think me wicked, but I'm happy to forget. Papa says memories are heavy, but we're the only ones stopping ourselves from setting them down."

"That doesn't make sense." Anger darkened Will's eyes to the colour of a storm's belly, and he scowled down at his weed pouch. Half his pinch was spilled to the tabletop. He gathered it up, tried to mash the moist strands together, but his hard wooden fingers were not well suited to the delicate work.

"How does it not make sense?" Mikaila asked gently.

"I was even younger than you when that monster- that monster ate my arm. But I haven't forgotten any of it. The stink of its mouth. The two-toes' eyes shining in the dark. And knowing that Roger Foi-Hellick was laughing about all of it; near but not near enough to kill him, hiding, laughing." The fingers of his simulacrum fumbled the pinch again. Mikaila touched his false wrist in a wordless gesture. He paused, and she gathered the fragrant strands herself.

"I think what happened to you was far worse," she whispered, pushing the wad into the pipe bowl, "And perhaps you haven't had… all I had. Perhaps it's worse for you now, even still."

"Don't say that. I don't want to hear that dogshit. Forget it, I'm fine. Everything in Durlyne is fine. And I don't dream about anything."

She put the pipe in his hand, closed his clicky false fingers over the stem, and pointedly did not light it with a spell. Will reached instead to his belt for a firestarter. Drag, scratch, flick! and then flame. It was a good smell. The weed caught, smouldered, and that smell was even better. Happier to associate it with Will than with a dead man. A dead man, impossibly tall, hunched over a desk in a messy library, puffing fragrant clouds, singing an old aria to himself while he scratched line after line in a book she was not allowed to read…

"My sincerest and humblest apologies for the wait, madame!" called Genevieve suddenly. Without a sound, a plate of green tart was settled atop the table - very professional! - then slid towards Mikaila, who clapped with showy gusto and appreciation.

And maybe a little pymary. She touched the base of her throat.

"I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED SUCH EXQUISITE SERVICE!" boomed her voice over the heads of the tea house's clientele. Each one swivelled to face her. "I SHALL BE TELLING ALL OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF THIS FINE DINING EXPERIENCE."

Genevieve coloured prettily and Mikaila knew without asking that she'd been offered a job. "Thank you, madame! Honourable patron! Respected customer! And this man, is this your servant? Here you are, Silver Boy, some tart for you."

She set the tiniest of the slices in front of Will. A very long and curly blonde hair was draped across it, and the crust was broken. He sighed.

[theonethatwatchesalotofshows]

Lorelai acts as if Jess was the devil himself and the worst behaved kid she has ever seen but let's face it, she and Christopher were both 100 times worse. At first I also thought that Lorelai was maybe just a bit quirky and socially awkward and Emily was just unfair to her, but then I saw the flashback episode and thought of the things Lorelai admitted she did as a teenager and thought Emily had every reason to be strict and discipline her (not that she went about it the right way but that's another discussion). By Lorelai's own admission and from what we know from the flashbacks, she:

Skipped school to drink with her boyfriend in the middle of the day instead

Had sex way before the age of 15

Snuck out of the window to go to parties

Flashed the boys' swim team at summer camp

Dated a guy that sold weed

Dated Christopher who crashed his brand new car a couple of hours after he got it and got kicked out of multiple boarding schools

Possibly smoked weed (she said her ex boyfriend was way overcharging for it, how would she know if she didn't have experience?)

Got on a table and performed a drunk dance at a party

Regularly stayed out all night

Drank a lot and stayed out all night before the age of 16 (that's when she got pregnant and I really hope she didn't drink while pregnant)

Drove without a license

Ran away from home leaving just a note

Now think of the things Jess pulled:

Skipped school in order to make some money

Allegedly stole baseballs (never been proven)

Kicked a garden gnome

Drew a chalk outline on the sidewalk

Smoked cigarettes

Got into a car accident because he was trying to avoid an animal on the road

Presumably has been to parties because he knows how to tap a keg

Ran away from home after he thought Luke kicked him out

This is the bad rebellious kid? Most of the time we see him he is either working or with his nose in a book, minding his own business. Lorelai was either projecting or displacing on him HARD. Imagine if Rory actually got involved with someone as rebellious as Lorelai or Christopher as teenager. Someone from Chilton, like Tristan. Lorelai would have gone grey and then bald.

[ninjacreature]

[transcript for image text: NAME: Aaron Reynard Fox

SPECIES TYPE: Hybrid - Humanoid (Human) + Monstrous (Foxlike Beastblooded)

AGE AS OF GRADUATION: 20 (enrolled by his parents a year late at 15 due to “reckless behavior”)

PRIMARY WEAPON: Blazing Crossbow

BACKUP WEAPON: “That’s a secret!”

HOMETOWN: Grindstead end transcript]

hello nexo knights tumblr…. i present…. an au….

which i’m starting off by posting my Aaron design! originally, him and Lance were going to be posted together but recent events have made that not possible

basically; i looked at the nexo knights world and said “i wanna expand that” so i am!

underneath the cut is some refs for Aaron and his shield, some more info abt him that i couldn’t fit on/didn’t think were suitable for the image, and some clarifying info about the au that explains some things about him

below is aaron’s reference on its own, outside of the image i put together- this includes versions without the helmet + bulk upper armor:

below is aaron’s shield’s reference on its own, including the verson of it for when the “ears” rotate to serve as wings when he’s using it as a hovershield:

(originally, there was supposed to be a ref for aaron in his casual clothes and aaron in the clothes he wears to sleep, but i didn’t get the chance. his casual clothes would’ve been some cross between the kind of fashion we see in the show and a tank top/shorts fit, based on grindstead being a coastal town. his sleepytime outfit would have just been his undergarments. I was also gonna try to draw his weapon but. You know.)

some more info on aaron himself:

he’s 5’9

he loves bugs

he has three parents who are in a poly relationship- Rey, a foxlike beastblooded, Shell, a human, and Harmony, an elf. None of them thought that Rey was going to be the other parent when Shell got pregnant again because nobody thought humanoid/monstrous hybrids were even possible.

the reason aaron has more humanoid features than monstrous features is because his mother, Shell, is human. It’s kind of like how in the pokemon games, the female pokemon determines the species of the baby, with some moves inherited from the father, except here it’s the primary features being determined by the mother with some lesser physical features and such from the father

He was the first humanoid/monstrous child born in the kingdom. After the destruction of one of Monstrux’s lairs lifted an ancient curse, his conception and birth were possible. As a result of being the first, he attracts a lot of both positive and negative attention. Some people even see him as a symbol of unity. Really, Aaron would rather get attention because of his sick hoverboarding skills and tricks. Sometimes, if he’s getting overwhelmed or agitated, Lance steps in to steal attention away like he always does.

Him and Lance are best friends, being each other’s first real friend at the Knight’s Academy. Together, they racked up a lot of demerits.

Goldie and Cuthbert Richmond do not like him. They think he is a “bad influence” on Lance, responsible for causing “ridiculous phases”.

His family has a giant pet tarantula named Sweetie. She’s the size of a small dog. Strangely, people outside of the household don’t tend to like her.

Aaron would rather die than become one of the corrupted people in Monstrux’s army. He feels strongly enough about this that he has asked Lance to be the one to kill him if he ever gets corrupted and turned evil.

and, finally, some more information about the world itself to help explain some stuff that differs from canon here (more information about the broader au will come in future posts):

the knight’s academy is a five year program instead of a four year program, going about a year beyond the expected average high school length. this is supposed to weed out anybody who drops out because of the extra year as “not committed enough”. as a result, most students who graduate the Knight’s Academy tend to be an average of 19 years old, rather than 18

it’s possible to be registered either a year early or a year late. this is uncommon enough, though, that you will be either older or younger than the majority of your classmates.

students design their own armor after taking classes about armor design in their fourth year. in their fifth year, they receive the initial version of this armor and can request various changes and improvements that they can test out throughout their final months at the academy. Before the graduation ceremony, they receive the finalized version of this armor.

shields are mostly designed by professionals based on the designs for armor made by the students. however, students can request certain features or gimmicks be added so that the shield can more effectively compliment their fighting style

this is already kind of obvious from the rest of the post, but there are sapient “monstrous” species that live alongside humanoid species. most of Jestro's (technically Monstrux's but yannow) monster army that gets summoned out of the Book of Monsters is made up of corrupted monstrous people who have lost much of their free will to magical influence. However, if shown enough kindness, there is a chance one might be able to break through this corruption and go against the ingrained evil.

aside from humans, other humanoid species include elves and greats (which are basically just smaller giants). aside from beastbloodeds, other monstrous species include harpies and merfolk. (These are not all of the species that exist, but they're pretty good examples)

Aaand that should be it? This post is already super long and I don't think there's any other information that needs to be added here.

As for the au name, I haven't really thought of anything concrete yet. My brain wants to say "expanded au" but that's kind of basic. I'll probably try to find song lyrics that resonate or something lol

[taki118]

Yakuza Fiance ep 6 Manga Comparison

We are halfway through the anime folks. As always under the cut I have everything the anime missed out on from the manga. The scans are fantranslated cause I'm lazy.

First thing the convo between Tsubaki and Yoshino is framed in the manga as a flashback.

The convo is mostly the same but once more details are missed such as Yoshino determining that Kirishima seeing her then was 6 years ago.

We also loose out on this cute image

Now they then cut to the school where the manga picks up so I'm not sure why they removed the stare thing (I know the anime loves its dramatic stares) maybe for time?

Anyway the convo at school is much the same but if you thought that little stop Yoshino gave during her lecture was weird well the manga has an explaination

Like I don't get why the anime didn't put a text box or something they've done it before, its just kinda odd. (I dunno I honestly forgot about this during my first watch and was like "That was weird" I didn't get the reason for Yoshinos shock maybe thats just me though)

Ok so the scene is again mostly the same but the visuals when Yoshino realizes she's Kirishimas first friend is such a down grade in the anime. She just stands there and the word friend repeats in the background meanwhile the manga gives us this

Like we get this cute little slugger Yoshino, which I gotta assume is a reference to something, then we get a little montage of all the shit she's gone through its just very underwhelming by comparison.

So ok the Nao stuff first of all I wanna say the lighting is like off like its so bright the manga gives the impression of a more softer lit place so it feels more like a high class bar. Its not really a difference but it annoyed me and I am writing this haha.

The convo is much the same again with some small stuff cut, I'd say Naos internal thoughts are much meaner in the manga. They did change placement again though. When the other women bring up Kirishima in the manga Nao goes straight into flashback mode

It gives the impression that she is lost in thought and can't help thinking about him even though she's such a calculated person, this info gets put into the anime but it doesn't offer the same weight but I'll compare once there cause they made.....choices. But also it doesn't feel as abrupt when Kirishima shows up in the manga you get the impression Nao has been sitting silently for a bit. Not the "hey we were literally just talking about you" vibe the anime has.

So they put the flashbacks in when Nao is in the bathroom scene and they are framed a bit differently from the panel above (the sex thing is there just on another page so i didn't add it) So like instead of a scene in a bar or club where you assume they mightve talked about him before she approaches we get this

Which is like ummmm I don't actually know if the anime is trying to make a point or not, about the age difference or whatever

So like Nao panics more in the manga (and I really wanna make a post on this at some point so I won't get too in the weeds but) and we learn just how long it's been since she saw Kirishima (we do get him saying it was 3 years in the anime like the manga but honestly ya'll missed out on her panicked thoughts)

So it was three years ago Kirishima is 18 now meaning he was was 14-15 when they met which is why the scene in the anime is interesting. I think they thought rather than having nao say the time frame they thought to visually imply it by having her see him in school uniform which is a choice particularly with the girl she's with. Like we have a college freshman (probably she might be older) openly being like "wow arent those highschool freshmen so hot?" I dunno it's kinda funny.

But yeah anyway the manga gives us more detail into her thoughts and how she thinks about it (also did anyone else think the close up on the kiss was weird and it lingered too much?)

Anyway we get another loss of thoughts

Like nao is constantly thinking like this not sure how she'll come across in the anime honestly.

Anyway again convo is much the same only shortened, with Kirishima directly saying she acted more like a foreigner back then. But also when he leaves she doesn't look at the card in the manga, nor does Ozu show up to give an ominous stare (this adaptation and adding stares I swear to god)

Ok so this is something I mentioned in ep 4 but they took out how Yoshino has been planning a summer trip to Osaka for a while

Like this they also took out which leads into her cute hand binoculars (glad they kept it) and convo on the phone with Kirishima. Its another set up thing they dropped so it feels a little more random and convenient in the anime.

So the start of the trip is overall the same but again we loose some character beats

In the manga it feels like she pulls him before he gets shoved and we get explanation why he's never really been to Osaka and a cute culture clash moment.

Ok so this is weird we get the face but we don't get the context for it. Like this head thing felt so off to me when I first watched again maybe its just me.

That being Yoshino trying to play tour guide for Kisishima all while doing tasks.

We also loose out on the explanation as to why she's buying so much food and Yoshino getting a little nostalgic. These scenes also help to show that the roles have shifted with Yoshino being the knowledgeable one Kirishima has to relay on in a new city. We can kinda get the vibe in the anime but you really feel it in the manga.

I will say the scene at the Takoyaki store is pretty good in the anime giving some actually fun visuals and expressions.

So the scene with Nao and her coworker is longer in the manga the woman keeps complaining about various things and Nao is working overtime with keeping her composure

It actually showcases a lot of her personality with all the mental back talk she does so its a shame it was cut. Like I get it who wants to listen to someone humble bragging like this but it takes away from her character.

We also loose more of Naos thought process as she considers seeing Kirishima again due to this conversation.

Again I will likely do a whole thing just on Nao at some point but the anime skips over all of this and gets right to Ozu talk.

But once the get there ugh we once more loose some set up stuff

Again not having Nao think about Kirishima makes her contacting him seem a little less calculating and we loose the hint that Ozu was trying to contact Nao privately. The rest of the convo goes the same.

So we do loose some cute domestic stuff with Yoshinos arrival in the anime

Showing how she is with the gang members its not a lot but still.

So the room scene is pretty one to one which i am very grateful for its one of my favs. We do miss a small explaination about the keychain though.

No spoilers for anime onlys but be the fact that it feels heavy is important later. I will say the touch of doing a close up on Kirishimas hands as he holds it like he doesn't want to let go was really good.

So the walk is honestly well done in animation and I'm grateful to how they visually show Yoshino struggling to keep pace with the two but we do loose a Yoshino thought thats important.

Its kinda important for the arc as Yoshino tries to better understand Kirishima.

The store scene is very accurate and I love they kept the Shoma trying to sneak to drinks thing but we lost this dumb Shoma face

We then loose an inbetween scene of Nao meeting up with Kirishima before the hotel. It again serves to establish Nao as a character and her thinking.

Honestly this would have been better to end the episode on. Instead we get a very rushed Hotel scene.

And I do mean rushed, the tattoo talk is longer and helps to set a timeline for Kirishima.

Like im having such trouble picking things cause this scene is so much longer

They go into more detail about WHERE exactly they are going tomorrow which is set up. Then before he leaves to shower we get this back and forth where he explains she seems more like herself now.

Which then leads into the seeing the phone screen. It all gives the impression of two people who have history. But the anime is so rushed you can barely tell. I am really hoping for some brevity next ep cause it will have some scenes I really like.

[zivazivc]

I'm gonna take some time to digest and think about that comic before I come to a decision. The decision being whether to continue to support you or just leave you be.

If I decide to leave you be, just know that there are no hard feelings, okay?

You are on anon so I don't know if this is someone who I've talked to before, but either way, yes, no hard feelings. I completely understand. It's the internet, anyone can unfollow anyone for any reason, but also I know this is an uncomfortable topic and even triggering to some, and some people are just not here for that. I was contemplating posting it for a while for this reason.

I do kinda want to point out that the purpose was/is not to fetishize a relationship with a minor and I will never fetishize or glorify that ever. It's wrong and unhealthy even if there's no malicious intent present. (am pointing it out because I got a bunch of asks about it and I'm 🧍) But this is fiction, and I portrayed the scenes the way that I did mainly because I made the comic from Floyd's perspective and I wanted to get in his head and show what exactly he was feeling in that moment. If the end result makes you feel uncomfortable or "flustered" (I don't think I'm using the right English word) in a certain icky way, that was kind of the point and I believe should be a normal reaction from an adult.

I spent my high school years (normally 15-19yo, but it was more like 14-22+) living in a dorm in the country's capitol and I attended a vocational school for visual arts that is pretty notorious for having a drug problem (I'm talking about mostly weed) and being full of weirdos (students free and comfortable expressing themselves and experimenting with expressing themselves but weirdos is the used term lol). The dorm is also located very near the city's subcultural center (look up Ljubljana Metelkova if you want, it's kind of what I imagine the underground scenes the bandmates visit looking like) which is like a hangout place for subcultures like punks and metalheads and the lgbtq. Anyway coming from living my whole life in a rural village where I still played with toys to somewhere like that was an insane shock to me. I sometimes felt like a toddler around young adults in a big city. And it was whiplash for many other teens too, some of whom quickly fell into bad crowds and spiraled, often those who came from bad home situations or controlling parents (heck some even came from elementary schools already doing problematic things). The amount of rumors of things happening in that dorm and school (drugs, sex, messing around with older teens/adults, whatever)... (I'm not saying it was like a concerning percentage of students but it was happening) Some of these people who made some bad choices were and some still are my friends, some of whom still struggle with some things today and it's heartbreaking.

Anyway where I was going with this is that in high school I was always kind of the anti all of that (to the point it had the opposite effect on me where I didn't even try out the normal teenage things) and just thinking "what the fuck is wrong with these people?" And recently, when my headcanons for Floyd started going in the direction that they have, I started wondering the same thing. Just not in a judgemental way this time. More like I want to dissect this situation carefully and understand it from everyone's perspective and see what lead up to it. I've always been very fascinated by morally gray and dark fiction for this reason and this is right up that alley.

So yeah, this isn't for everyone, and I can't hold a grudge if anyone unfollows me for it. But what I'm doing here is inspired a lot by real life situations and my weird deep dives into articles about trauma and its effects (also pretty sure I'm also processing some of my own personal emotions through these blorbos but I am not going into that), and I feel like I'm taking a pretty realistic approach to it (if you ignore the fact that this is fucking Trolls). I'm just slowly exploring how a relationship between a teen who comes from a sheltered almost cultish upbringing (pop trolls live in a concentration camp and are dealing with the horrors by singing and enjoying every minute of their every day like life is a ticking time bomb) and a young adult who never got a chance to grow up because he never experienced a childhood and is suddenly being liked by someone for the first time in his life (I'll talk more about Les some other time), would develop into hopefully something okay for both of them. Because I do want them to both be okay in the end. And I'm sharing some of my brainworms online for anyone who's interested. I just can't share ALL of my brain worms and sometimes I forget that people don't have a view of what's going on in my head. Yeah... This answer became long for no other reason except that I can't sleep because I posted that comic, damn. That's what I get for dropping that bombshell on top of what was mostly fun "comedic" posts about the AU so far.

[sadisthetic]

hi. this is my dnd character for toonkind dnd that i first made 7 years ago that ive recycled twice now because i wanted to finally play an ongoing campaign with him. for his third life, not only did i give him a design update, hes also has undergone a MAJOR overhaul in terms of personality and backstory tho i kept some bare basics the same (human ranger with urchin background who LOVES swords and knifes A LOT. and that he has an ambiguous age) the overhaul includes the isekai. and that hes a cunt now. but hes funnier now too lol.

im adding some more details and trivia about him under the readmore

so like if it isnt obvious the double isekai is meant to mirror the fact that i fucking played with him in 3 separate campaigns now. its part of him metatextually now lol. he was such a different guy tho. an EXTREMELY LOYAL guy. now hes significantly more selfish. and rude as hell. but hes not that to be mean or malicious. hes actually a pretty nice guy hes just extremely inconsiderate bc he prioritizes his own wellbeing most of the time. its how he had to grow up

copy pasting this tweet i wrote about him "blade at 15 was a guy that shouldve been playing halo while drinking monster but instead hes a guy stealing apples and eating mushrooms off tree bark. miraculously few instances of poisoning all things considered"

he wouldve been a fucking gamer otaku fr. he got isekaied in the mid 2000s and as a kid he fucking LOVED watching dragonball on saturday mornings. if he got to be a teen on earth, he would eventually found the anime and gaming subcommunities online BUT ALAS. he grew up trying to catch fish with his bare hands. or at least he did until he gave up quick and ate weeds.

also. despite the hardships. hes like. fine? somethings wrong with him. but its not trauma. he didnt mourn his parents much although its not like he couldve done anything with their freshly isekaied corpses when immediately hes being chased by fucking beasts. its okay they were like b-tier parents. (hes definitely not a normal person.)

he wandered the woods trying his best to survive alone and in spite of everything trying to kill him (including the shit he ate...) he ended up in a nearby(?) town and things got a bit easier after that. because he could fucking steal to eat real food now. he stayed in the woods on the outskirts of town bc no one showed grace to a thief and just dropped in every so often to swipe shit. steadily he learned forage (through sheer trial and error)

he was highkey a menace. but eventually in his late teens, a traveling party gave him an idea to like fucking. get a job. as something. he managed to make it work as a ranger/guide for hire

he fucking loves booze. he absolutely underage drank. when he could steal it. and later pay for it. and also even though he could pay for things as an adult, he still steals shit if he thinks he can get away w it (he has an absurdly (or at least pretty) high sleight of hand stat)

before he got isekai'd a second time, went through a CATASTROPHIC DIVORCE with an elf woman who he met in an expedition party who became enamored with him after he saved her life. the uh. fallout happened bc blade didnt realize (and still hasnt realized) that hes kinda aro (fundamentally did not understand her romantic intentions and thought she was just a friend wanted to hang out w him a lot. those were dates.) and his ex didnt realize how onesided it was bc she was so love with him. geez.

also. he was from arizona. hes half white half mexican. but with all the time spent not speaking spanish in a different fucking world, it made any spanish speaking skills he had atrophy to hell. it happens and it was bound to happen bc he was so young and had like no reason or opportunity to practice.

also he chose his name. he hated his lame ass name so much he was like "wait. i dont have to use it anymore." but he was 13 fucking years old. anyways he thought blade sounded cool for a name. knifedad happened later when he got his first knife. he still had a bad naming sense. he was 14.

also although his ethics are kinda wack, whats important to note is that he ultimately doesnt want anyone to like. die. its like his policy. save people that he can while trying his best to not die himself

he also has a soft spot for kids. whether hed bc a good dad is debatable but like. i think hed be a nice one

most important note: his longsword is named Darla, his dagger is named Samantha, the knife in his pack is named Nicky, and his newly acquired strange glowy sword is named lucia, and he wants a cool greatsword very very very fucking bad

i drew him in his under clothing also so that i could have a better sense for his body type when i designed his new outfit im adding it here too. he has a shitton of scars bc hes the type that pisses ppl off that they wanna shank him and also he routinely eats shit a lot. a lot of the scars in this sketch are pretty random except for one specific injury for a certain backstory event i have in mind

[humbledragon669]

S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P2 – The Globe Theatre London (1601) and the Burbage Meta

This part of the write up for episode 3 is going to take on a slightly different format, in that it will only be covering a very short (approx. 4 minutes) section of the episode. It will also contain the details of a meta-theory I have based on the short conversation that takes place in this scene, and I’ll be analysing the comings and goings of the scene in greater detail to try and demonstrate how the theory came to fruition. I’m not going to lie – this theory is likely to be HUGELY unpopular. I am not a fan of it myself but it’s where my head canon is at, and if it were true might explain one other unknown piece of canon. So, with all that said, let’s get started.

Before we get into the weeds, I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate the soundtrack for this scene. I’ve spoken before about David Arnold’s ability to compose incidental music of all manner of styles to assist with scene setting and the piece playing in the background here is no exception. The use of period instruments, simple orchestration and playful melody do an excellent job in establishing our place in the timeline. Chapeau, sir.

Alright, let’s get the ball rolling with some familiar ground, specifically the obvious joy on Aziraphale’s face when Crowley arrives.

Look at that happy little face! It looks like pure reflex too, he just can’t help himself. Did you appreciate that little suggestion that this is a happy couple on a pre-arranged date? Well hold on to it, because things are about to get rocky.

I’m going to skip ahead a little bit, but I will be coming back to look at some of the other interactions that take place here later on. I’ll mention (briefly) that this scene is the first we learn of the “Arrangement” actually being in place and that they have invoked it “dozens of times” (the book confirms it was originally enacted in 1020). It took me a little while to twig, but the fact that they do work on behalf of the other doesn’t just mean that Crowley is capable of blessing things and using his miracles for good (the latter isn’t so dubious – they both seem to use their miracles more like magic tricks anyway), but that Aziraphale is capable of tempting people into (bad) things. Food for thought.

When I first started looking at this episode with a mind to doing a write up for it, there was one of Aziraphale’s lines that stood out to me:

The reason it stood it is because it feels almost… lustful. And it shouldn’t because he’s not talking about Crowley here, but the actor on the stage – Richard Burbage. I dismissed it because I did not care for what that might mean for our precious darlings. That’s ridiculous, right? Aziraphale desiring someone other than the tall dark prince. Absolutely.

Time for a tangent.

After I finished writing Dangerous Liaisons (a 5+1 fix-it fic I wrote based on the theory that the entire Final 15 is all just an act), I found myself wanting to fill in some of the gaps that I had touched upon in the fic. There is mention of certain events, and of declarations of love on both sides, at particular points in their history, and my brain was already whirring about if I was to write them (spoiler alert: I am 100% going to write them), what the details were. One of those events takes place in 1941, which got me thinking about Aziraphale spitting out that he did the “I Was Wrong” dance that year. Which in turn got me wondering about what that dance would have been for. Which in turn got me thinking about what the other instances of the “I Was Wrong” dance in 1650 and 1793 could have been for, and eventually I was at the point where I wasn’t just planning to write more fics about the events mentioned in Dangerous Liaisons, but my versions of how those apology dances came about as well.

At the time, I had a notion that perhaps the 1941 dance had been done as an apology for Aziraphale’s outburst in 1862 about the holy water. Similarly, I had an idea that the 1793 dance could potentially have been about the fact that Aziraphale had (very stupidly) gone to France during a war against aristocracy, dressed in finery, for nothing more than crèpes. But the 1650 dance? I had no clue.

Until I went back to this scene.

What if. What if that lustful undertone I thought I had detected when Aziraphale speaks about Richard Burbage wasn’t nothing at all? Honestly, when my brain offered me that idea, it felt like fireworks had gone off in my head. Did I like it? FUCK NO. Did it make a weird sort of sense? Urgh, so help me, it kind of did. So hold on people, I’m going to say it quickly, because I am not enjoying writing it about as much as you aren’t going to enjoy reading it.

I think Aziraphale had an emotional affair with Richard Burbage.

I think not only did Crowley know about it, but that initially he gave it his blessing. I think Crowley changed his mind when he realised how much he was hurting as a result of it. I think Crowley tried to talk Aziraphale out of it under the pretence of not wanting him to feel the pain of heartbreak when Burbage inevitably died. I think they had a huge row about it. And I think the 1650 “I Was Wrong” dance was Aziraphale apologising for it all.

Hate me now? It’s OK if you do, I kinda hate myself for thinking it in the first place to be honest.

I know you’re probably thinking “well, what on earth were the 1793 and 1941 apology dances for then? If the original dance was for something as awful as an “affair”, what could he possibly have done in later years that would have been bad enough that the dance needed to be repeated?”. I know you’re thinking it because it’s exactly what I thought when my brain force fed me this theory in the first place. So here’s the thing.

I don’t think the dances in 1793 and 1941 were for anything different.

I think all three of the instances of the apology dances were for the same thing – Aziraphale’s emotional affair with Richard Burbage. Because it’s the one thing Crowley can secretly never forgive him for, even though he gave him permission to do it in the first place.

I suppose I had better start talking to explain myself here, shouldn’t I? Well, alright then, I will, but only about my reasoning for the theory – the playing out of the dances I will be writing about in my fics.

Let’s start with the little glance at Burbage we see from Aziraphale when Crowley says he hates the ”gloomy” Shakespeare plays:

I’ve slowed it down so that you can see it, but Aziraphale’s primary concern about Crowley’s criticism is whether or not Burbage has heard it – that’s where his gaze initially goes to before being distracted by an approaching Shakespeare.

OK, OK, a single glance and a single line of script. That’s hardly a confession, is it? Well, I’m not done yet. Let’s have a look at Aziraphale falling over himself to reassure Burbage of his talents.

This sort of gushing simper is something you might usually see from a teenage girl trying to bolster the older boy she has a desperate (and inappropriate) crush on, often when responding to an attempt by him to fish for compliments or show the younger girl up. It makes me a little sick at just how desperately Aziraphale offers his support here to be honest. My feelings aside, his babbling flattery wins him Burbage’s attention, which clearly delights the angel.

I’m sure most people would be happy to believe that the reason Aziraphale denies his friendship with Crowley is because that is the standard for them both, but I think there’s more to it than that. I’m of the mind that Burbage and Aziraphale already know each other at this point, and that they’ve already begun to develop feelings for one another. Burbage asking Aziraphale about his “friend” isn’t just a general question - it’s tinged with jealousy. He wants to know who this man is, not in an attempt to garner more compliments, but because he’s feeling threatened by his presence. As well he should. Let’s also take a look at Aziraphale’s face after Crowley’s presence has been pointed out:

Does it look familiar to you? It does to me. It’s the face he pulls when he’s in trouble for doing something he knows he should be in trouble for. Just like when Nina drops him in the shit with Crowley for having a naked man in his shop:

We can also see Crowley starting to cotton on to things in this little exchange. He sees Aziraphale’s desperation and flustering, sees the human’s jealousy and possessiveness. So what does he do? He does what any self-respecting mischief-loving demon would do. He decides to join the pissing contest. You can see his decision in his expression here:

If that expression wasn’t enough to let you know that he’s entering the ring at this point, his dismissive response to Burbage’s challenge should be enough to tell you he now considers this man fair game.

I think you should get on with the play.

Ouch. Saucer of milk, Crowley? Or maybe just turn your disdain to the person you’re actually upset with? Ah, he’s got that covered, showering Aziraphale with sass when he heckles Burbage. You can see a little train of emotions going through his expression here – amusement morphs into shock and disbelief, finally indicating his incredulity with a head shake so subtle you can only just catch it in the movement of his hair.

Quick side note: in the script, Burbage gives Aziraphale a “grateful thumbs up” at the heckle. Very friendly, don’t you think?

And so we come to the hateful fateful line that got us into this mess in the first place.

He’s very good, isn’t he?

And now it takes on a whole different level of meaning, doesn’t it? This is him asserting his pride at Burbage’s talents, justifying his feelings in a thinly veiled confession, and subtextually seeking approval from the one person in the world that he would ever want it from.

Let me be clear: I do not believe that Aziraphale is sexually attracted to Burbage, or that he’s in love with him. I think he feels a deep emotional attraction to him and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that Burbage’s talent is what’s really driving it. It’s worth remembering that Richard Burbage was a real historical person, who was the resident actor at the Globe Theatre. He played virtually every major role in the company, and it is generally thought that the role of Hamlet was written for and based on him. He was possibly considered the greatest actor of his time.

Crowley’s response, which comes after a tiny pause, seems oddly out of character.

Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety.

For those who don’t know, this line is an almost direct quote from Shakespeare’s “Antony and Cleopatra” (written after 1601, hence why Shakespeare makes a note of it when Crowley speaks). It’s spoken by Enobarbus, Antony’s best friend, who acts as a reasoned counsellor to Antony, offering advice unbiased by an all-consuming infatuation with Cleopatra. The pronouns have been changed in Crowley’s rendition (the resulting line in the play is about Cleopatra, so “his” becomes “her”). I have no doubt that Crowley’s subtext is pretty thickly layered here, so I’m going to try and break it down a bit:

We have a reference to age not having an effect on appearance. This is pretty obviously a characteristic of both himself and Aziraphale, immortal beings as they are.

The second half of the line he delivers is a reference to the subject having a range of moods that are unpredictable in their application.

The line as a whole takes these two ideas and wraps them in the suggestion that the subject is overwhelmingly attractive to many.

So taking all of that into consideration, I believe that the subject of Crowley’s line here is Aziraphale. He’s the one who doesn’t age, who is unpredictable and has fickle moods. It’s a reminder to himself of the things he finds attractive in Aziraphale and why others might also be drawn to him. It’s his admission that in this situation, he must be Enobarbus, the advisor, but that one day he can resume his role as Antony to Aziraphale’s Cleopatra. I mean, where else do we think he gets his 20th century first name from anyway?

That was a lot of analysis for a tiny handful of words. Aziraphale is less impressed with them, presumably because his little crush’s talent has not been recognised and he didn’t get the approval he was looking for.

The conversation that follows lets us know that Crowley has called this meeting. What’s interesting though is that according to Crowley’s opening line of the scene, it would appear that the location choice was Aziraphale’s.

I thought you said we’d be inconspicuous here.

This would suggest that Aziraphale knew that Burbage was going to be displaying his talents and that it would give him ample opportunity to show him off. Poor Crowley has been completely ambushed.

The majority of the conversation after this point is largely business-related, but it doesn’t stop Aziraphale from returning his eyes to Burbage at every opportunity, who is relentlessly charging through his lines in the background. Interestingly, the only line we focus on him for is this “the pangs of despised love”, which refers to the heartache caused by love that ends badly. And what other way is there for the affair between him and Aziraphale to end but badly? He’s human. He’s going to die. Leaving Aziraphale heartbroken. The frame just before these words are delivered would suggest that Aziraphale isn’t actually paying attention to him when he says them (shocking), so he’s probably missed that particular point entirely.

It's touching to see that Aziraphale does still care for Crowley, despite whatever else might be going on in his brain – his main concern, at least on the surface, is that it could put Crowley in danger if they invoke the Arrangement. In truth, I think he’s also considering the possibility that he might get to stay in London to spend more time with Burbage if he doesn’t have to go to Edinburgh; it’s written all over the lingering gaze he shoots the actor’s way when he’s offered the change to “toss for Edinburgh” (*smirk*)

And just look how disappointed he is when he loses:

And as if Aziraphale had not asked enough of his demon already, he overhears a conversation between Shakespeare and the oyster vendor (named Juliet, wonder if old Bill stole her name for anything he’d written previously…), prompting him to ask Crowley for a favour. I don’t think this could be interpreted as anything other than a secret gift from Aziraphale to Burbage. He obviously thinks it’s a marvellous idea and has set his heart on having it – just look at his silent ask of Crowley:

If that little eyebrow raise looks familiar, it’s because exactly the same micro-expression we see when he silently asks Crowley to clean his jacket in episode 2:

Let’s just for a moment say that my theory about all of this is complete guff. Why would Aziraphale be so desperate for Hamlet to succeed? Why this particular play? I’m prepared to settle and say the reason he doesn’t do the miracle himself is because he’s just lost the toss and is about to go and do Crowley’s job for him, but I can’t work out why he would be so keen for this play to succeed if there wasn’t some sort of emotional attachment involved with its lead actor and inspiration. So, I’m sticking to my guns on this one. Note: I’m not going into any metafiction stuff about both David and Michael having played Hamlet to high acclaim – everything here stays strictly within the GO universe.

And, like the lovesick little puppy that Crowley is, he gives his heart’s desire what it desires, even though it isn’t him. He even calls it a “treat”, and it earns him a pretty sweet smile of gratitude.

I don’t believe that Crowley’s gesture here is without subtext. I think this is him giving Aziraphale the approval he was fishing for earlier. And Aziraphale knows it – his secondary response (after that big soppy grim) is one of delighted relief. I have no doubt that Crowley is smarting a little by this point, and that’s borne out by the fact that he now leaves the theatre alone. If we look at the ends of each of the historical scenes, there are three where one of our hero couple leaves without the other (I’m not counting the departure in 537 AD where they both leave simultaneously). One is in 1862 (where Aziraphale refuses to supply Crowley with holy water) and another in 1967 (which I obviously haven’t covered yet) where Aziraphale leaves after delivering his soul-destroying “you go too fast” revelation. The other is this one. It’s seems very fitting that the only scenes where we see one of them leaving without the other are scenes where there is emotional tension between them. More importantly for this scene though is not so much that Crowley leaves, but that Aziraphale stays, his gaze instantly returning to Burbage on the stage. Not only is his face still fixed with a soppy smile, but he resumes eating – something we will see him using as a flirting device with Crowley in future years.

There’s one last thing I want to talk about from the beginning of this scene that I think bears mentioning:

Setting aside the fact that he miracles a coin out of thin air right in front of a human’s face here, there’s something else that draws my attention. The vendor in this micro-scene gives a customer two choices: oysters or oranges. Aziraphale chooses a third option, that we as the audience are not aware is available: grapes. Is it too extreme to consider this to be foreshadowing the choice that Aziraphale will make in this scene? As an entity, we have seen him try to choose between Heaven and Crowley for centuries, but here he will instead choose a third, previously unknown, option – Richard Burbage.

So there we have it. If you’ve stuck with me this far, I really do congratulate you. And I’m sorry. I’m not exaggerating when I say that writing this all down was actually really hard to do. I don’t want any of what I’ve theorised here to be true as much as most of the GO fandom, but once the idea planted its seed I could see how much sense it made.

If you’re still reading, and don’t hate me too much, I’ve written the prologue and first chapter of the fic that goes with this meta (you can find it here). I’ll be writing the second and third chapters covering the other “I Was Wrong” dances once I’ve completed the analysis for their relevant scenes, though that does mean the 1941 chapter will be a little while in the making.

Not sure I really want to include my usual sign off here, but… questions, comments, discussion always welcome. (Please don’t throw too much abuse at me!)

[eightyonekilograms]

What are the left-NIMBYs' policy positions? What are the YIMBY policy positions? I mean I know what they are in a broad sense (more regulation on constructing housing vs. less), but I'm curious to know in more detail. Obviously some regulation is good (living in California, I'm glad there are standards for earthquake safety), and some is bad (I'm generally against single-use zoning for a bunch reasons you probably agree with). The basic supply and demand stuff and how it affects the cost of housing is obvious enough to me, but the weeds of how specifically regulations should be changed in light of this seems like a more complex issue.

I don't identify as either a NIMBY or a YIMBY; this discourse is somewhat foreign to me, but I probably have some mixture of NIMBY-sympathetic and YIMBY-sympathetic positions, and I'm interested in getting a better picture of the details of the debate from someone who clearly knows a lot about it.

Also as an aside, if you have any good sources of information you can recommend on the present state of housing policy in San Francisco, and/or how it's changed over the years, I'd be very interested in them.

At least from my POV, left-NIMBY policy prescriptions generally seem to fall into one of three camps (arranged from least to most radical):

non-zoning regulatory updates to try and make housing more affordable; the canonical example being adding low-income requirements to new housing developments

large expansions in government-funded housing projects, possibly to the point of having all housing construction be government-funded

"housing can't be fixed until we abolish capitalism"

Each of these has a flaw, although they need to be analyzed separately.

The people in camp 1 are well-intentioned, but unfortunately in practice they are useful idiots for the people who want less housing to be built (landlords, homeowners who want to Preserve the Neighborhood Character, the aforementioned BlackRock investors from my original post, etc.). Those people know full well that the actual effect of attaching more requirements to new housing construction is that less new housing (of all kinds, low-income, high-income, etc.) gets made, because projects which were just-barely profitable get pushed into being unprofitable, and so they don't happen. Obviously individual cases vary, but in general, if you say "you can't build those 50 new housing units unless you also add 15 low-income units in that development" is not that you get 50 market-rate units and 15 low-income units, but that you get zero new units. Which helps nobody.

This is one example of a depressingly common pattern where left-NIMBYs unfortunately make it very easy for themselves to get played like a fiddle by people who say they have the interests of low-income renters at heart, but absolutely do not. As I said, the sorts of "wealthy suburban single-family homeowners" who go to their community meetings and demand that new construction include low-income unit requirements are doing that to murder low-income housing, but because it's an invisible murder (since the development simply doesn't happen), those homeowners with their In This House We Believe signs can keep saying they want to help the poor get housed, while guaranteeing that won't happen.

With camp 2, in general it seems to me like a lot of them aren't paying attention to what YIMBYs actually say, and instead have built up a strawman in their mind of YIMBYs as diehard anti-government libertarians. Some of them are, but most YIMBYs— myself included— do want more government-funded construction and think it definitely should be a part of a comprehensive solution for housing affordability.

The issue is, if you want government-funded housing, the government still needs to pay for the land, and the construction. And if land and construction are more expensive than they could be because of limited supply and burdensome, then the government has to pay more for this housing, and gets less for its money. I know a lot of left-NIMBYs tend to scoff at fiscal/budgetary constrains, but they are a real thing, if only because eventually you'll get voter revolt, and if you have X dollars of taxpayer money to spend on new housing construction, it would surely be better to make that X dollars go as far as possible and build maybe 5,000 units instead of 1,000. This is a case where the libertarian and socialist views do not need to be opposed and can in fact work in concert: the more land reform you have, the cheaper land gets and so the more bang for you buck you get. So even if you are a Camp 2er, you should support YIMBY policy reforms anyway.

The people in camp 3, well... I wanted these posts to be as factual and non-ideological as I could, but at some point there's no getting around the fact that camp 3 is delusional. We're not going to abolish capitalism, at least not any time in the foreseeable future. It could happen in succeeding decades, but in the meantime, wouldn't it be nice if people could have an affordable place to live now? Note that there are differences in housing affordability across areas, based mostly on to what extent they have YIMBY-like policies in place, so the claim that only abolishing capitalism can help seems empirically wrong. (And if the response to that is that helping people now is bad because it would delay the revolution, that's when I start yelling and pounding on my keyboard again. Accelerationism is fundamentally a monstrous, evil ideology, gleefully throwing people under the bus for the sake of a fantasy world).

[ginger-ly]

Hellllo~

Forgive me if this is too personal of a question but I’m just curious- I know you had to originally lose a bit of weight due to some health stuff. Now that you’re putting weight on again, have you made any significant changes to your diet in order to avoid potential negative side effects?

Asking as a fatty who is trying their best to stay healthy while also consistently growing at a reasonable rate

I’m just going to answer one of these since like 15+ messages were basically the same or a health issue fetishized version

Honestly, I don’t REALLY feel like I owe you guys an answer to this and I’ll admit I’m a little grossed out by just how MANY messages I got about this subject, it makes me feel like a science experiment, no one would feel comfortable saying this kind of stuff to my face it’s so dehumanizing

But I’ll give it to you anyways: Yes, I am making sure to watch what I eat more, I no longer consume any alcohol and I’ve cut back a ton of my weed intake

What I’m mostly doing is staying active, I’m going to the gym multiple times a week, devoting time daily to getting my heart rate up/minor stretches, stuff I ~should~ have been doing before but I was entirely too lost in the weight gain fantasy

[sunflowerhoney]

7, 11, 34, 47, 51, 69, 71, 80, 92 :)

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?

In my sleep of old age after experiencing very minimal medical issues 😅

11. Do you like your body?

Definitely not lol but I’m working on trying to 

34. Do you like small kids?

To be totally honest it depends on the kid I find little kids cute but I also get overstimulated really easily by loud noise 😵‍💫

 47. When was your first kiss?

In 2010 when I was 15, some guy that I went to school with kissed me while we were hanging out sitting in a band locker (giant lockers people put instruments in lol), forever wishing my first kiss was not w a guy 😅

51. Who are you most comfortable around?

@theog-greenbutch 🥰💓💓💓

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?

I smoked weed regularly in a state where it wasn’t legal when I was younger lol and I definitely occasionally drank/smoked before i was 21, only other thing I can think of is my best friend and I used to explore abandoned buildings so trespassing too I guess 

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

Honestly probably yes, I come from a family that fought frequently and meanly, I definitely would say mean stuff to my stepdad on purpose when he was being awful for no reason 

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

I think it’s cool!! My mom is a vegetarian and has been since before I was born so I’ve been exposed to it most of my life! I applaud people who can be that dedicated and not picky I can be particular with food sometimes 

92. Favourite app on your phone?

Probably TikTok or tumblr! 

Thank you so much for asking!! 😊

[libidomechanica]

Thee down was not turn the dews of life and we morning the glow

A Kelly lune sequence

               1

Silver shall repent. No near-on tender, as ill? What!

               2

At, and you. A third, a foolishers home of sense flies.

               3

It is words o’er, pains! Same she watery piled thrushes?

               4

Lean batter, or speak not till with noise of their advice.

               5

But a curbs, and stumble thou fools: reserve. Lived farewell?

               6

Her hair from my blossom nips. I wasn’t for the restraight.

               7

But I’m alive. Betwixt her secrets double doth play.

               8

One meadow-larkspur, and love enjoy it.—The sniffer.

               9

To fight, ere all possesse? For as sad as beauteous Mind.

               10

The Seraskier is undone. Weeds, weary pardon mine.

               11

The boot to Heaven heauens siluer ray, I saw her name!

               12

I don’t read to me. I knew where sweet; he clouds and me.

               13

And mirk that the moon was blaw! They could faith is miswent?

               14

Some sweet perish’d. Twelve days began to Heav’nly saying.

               15

As care? My head. In our knife. And the end, deeper sad!

               16

Here blinks that my head. When April’s showers, as some nine.

               17

A voice is build to the Dambe. To his right be a heart.

               18

But next, the morris. That I thus much place, Peace, that guides.

               19

No more in desire! Brough bodies, from the horses.

               20

With speechless night. Why should hinder storment’s coarse at close?

               21

How carrying pyne field. Yes! Weary ev’ry flowers.

               22

And so many an infant could touch of sound! Her day!

               23

Of me pine. Ever sleep ye soul had rise, dinna cry.

               24

The middle-aged whence. The atmos! When will the days.

               25

The bless. Had rise got a spotless wi’ twa drifting: voice?

               26

—I’ll ne’er cold decked drinks, and unfold heaven, devise. Shade.

               27

Were remote hiatus of a shriek ring-dove shelter’d.

               28

Of solemnize the tea-cup of summer safe and man.

               29

Ourselves; take in his heard has had a quietude. Proud flew.

               30

Till leave Don Juan they? —The very stream from the this kin!

               31

Feeding off envy’s stores depth. Design this dust, but die.

               32

’Twas her brother organs like tenor. Sometimes are wine.

               33

But to have dawn apart, before three; no noisier.

               34

Too trust of reason. To the serious should be so?

               35

And Willye behold up, my knee His hand! White bleak a sigh.

               36

—That blood will doth frame, and the head, I try, o pious.

               37

Or if no vulgar miracle of cheer, burning mind.

               38

When my weak. So Philomede, let it had past to view.

               39

Heavenly temple. For throughts or of fear; each trac’d, whence?

               40

And marsh of moonlighted, we sun, about, as cooks, on!

               41

He started; and such wish’d. Into the might my Muses!

               42

So fair swift as not, when in a maternal! But missed.

               43

Of whom her sinning. The creature’s hip to builds the Queen!

[nick-close]

i think a lot of current discussion and enjoyment of the fandom is s2 centered? so more s1 stuff is slightly less usual in the show now (despite still having a lot of references lol)

Nothing hurts more than the fact I spent like literally half an hour on a reply and the power went out as I went to post it- but fuck it! We try again. I’ll try to make it shorter this time. (I failed sorry.)

I totally understand that the current fandom is more s2 focused and want different things. But I don’t think that means it shouldn’t be viewed from a s1 lense. The first season set the foundation and appeal of the show as a comedy. Though I do think the fandom is genuinely a lot younger rn and focuses more on ships, character moments, story beats, etc- which is totally fine! I’m not trying to dismiss critiques or say these wants are stupid because of the younger fanbase- I was in this fandom since I was 15. I do think it plays into the wants and appeals of the show though.

And here’s really the thing. S1 is the basis of the show- it should’ve set the expectations for how the podcast goes. Where I think the divide comes from, is that the younger audience usually means people binged s1- rather than listen episodically. Binging it, you don’t have to wait between the stupid five footers and nonsense to get to character beats and emotions because you can just go and go and go to the next episode.

This is why I think people are so impatient in s2. I see people writing their own fanfiction ideas about how the next episode is going to go, spending 2 weeks building up an expectation that is never actually going to meet the show. If they were binging through this, I don’t think anyone would have this strong of a reaction to this episode because they’d just go to the next one to try and get what they want. People love the characters and plot so much they tend to forget the podcast has always been a rowdy comedy podcast at its core.

I actually think one of the reasons s2 struggles so much is because of the huge expectation to live up to the emotional beats of s1 without realizing the stupid moments are the reasons they WORK. You need Henry’s hippie jokes to make Oakvale hit. You need Glenn’s weed joke to Erin so it can come back at the trial. We make jokes about how ‘I’m crying over Glenn Close in Meth Bay lol!’ But that’s why the emotions hit so heavy. They are not SUPPOSED to be every episode.

The podcast is founded on the jokes and the stupid shit- if you want cool dnd shit.. like, this isn’t your podcast. That isn’t me gatekeeping or saying people can’t enjoy it if they come for those moments- but genuinely telling you to remember what you’re coming to. If you love the characters and the story, that’s great- but the comedy and bullshit episodes are always the core of the show for the story to build around. If you’re not gonna like them, that’s okay- but you will only disappoint yourself if you keep coming expecting something else.

You can watch it and hate these episodes. You can feel disappointed or upset something didn’t happen. That’s totally fine. But I really draw an issue with people viewing it as an error on the show’s end. Your personal preference not aligning with the show all the time is cool! But the show doesn’t pretend to be anything but stupid. It’s not bad storytelling to make the comedy show funny. The episode after the Grant Yeet scene, a huge part of it is them looking at Darryl’s shit in the toilet and getting eldritch trauma. You can’t really pick and choose Imo. But hey, do what you want, I’m just some guy! And ultimately if complaining is how you have fun (I get it, I love talking shit) then enjoy fandom however you like.

[ic3qu33n]

Its funny how the mind works. I woke up today thinking about a whole life I never lived. I had memories and specific details in my dream that I personally have never witnessed…

Let me explain better. When I was 15 (1999) I wrote a chapter book. It was on an Dell desktop computer that my older brother Daniel had built from spare computer parts.(These parts were coming from computers that at the time were 1-2 years old. Apparently when ever some students had “ruined” the computers at the high school the district would send them a whole new one. And since my brother worked in tech support they told him to recycle them. He did. But not before taking them apart to save working parts)

Anyway, back to my original thought.

This story I had wrote was about a girl named Jo and her 3 brothers who moved from a big city with their mother to the Pacific Northwest after their father died suddenly. The story follows this girl whos life was rocked and trying to find balance and peace when there is so much changing around her. Like having to be the adult because of her mothers crippling grief. Jo meets new friends who become her best support system and teach her how to “feel normal”.

I dont have this book saved anywhere and it doesn’t exist anymore. That computer is long gone. I remember it took me two months that Summer to write it. It was 2-3 hours after summer school every night. I would put on headphones, blasting “Smells like Children” album, (This was my “Alt phase” life) and just typed. I tuned out the world. I know, now, that I was disassociating a lot during this time in my life.

During this time in my life my dad was in jail again. That left my pregnant mom, and us 4 kids to kinda fend for ourselves. We were all living in a 1 bedroom roach infest trailer. (Like we couldn’t have pantry stuff cause the roaches would just get in it) Mom and Vicky slept in the bedroom, Daniel and Michael slept on a bunkbed in the area that should be where you put a kitchen table, and I slept on the couch in the living room. This trailer was so small that it had 1 entrance and that was a sliding glass door in the living room. For this reason I can never live in a manufactured home or trailer. This life experience definitely traumatized me. So when me and Chris were younger (early years of marriage and had two kids under the age of 3) I resented him for putting us in a 1 bedroom trailer. We argued daily, I drank heavily. I had no faith in him being able to care for me and our children. I was hurt and blamed him for my unhappiness for a long time. Anyway I getting sidetracked again.

My mom was working full time at an elementary school. My older brother was working at the high school. I started my job at my uncles Mexican restaurant. (I had to take the city bus and transfer twice to get there) we were doing everything in our power to get a better home without my dads help.

Anyway, I believe I wrote this story as an escape from the overwhelming responsibility that suddenly fell on me. This time in my life changed how I viewed the world. It was the time in my life when I stopped showing my feelings… I stopped smiling, I became cold and I no longer trusted anyone. I had a short fuse and started picking fights with anyone who felt froggy. I was not okay. I also started self harming at this age (it was a pain I could control and understand why I was hurting) I was very angry. I would take walks to the ditch behind our trailer court to break bottles and smoke weed…

My dreams brought me back to this world. I don’t know why after all these years did this specific story come back. I still remember this fictional characters life. Like I said in the beginning of this post, it feels like memories. Its weird because I can visualize this whole world of people that doesn’t exist. It gives me a weird feeling in my chest of almost a longing to go to this place and I can’t. It’s almost the same feeling of missing a relative who has passed and there’s no way you could ever see them again. No new memories. Just people frozen in time.

It’s just weird how your mind works.