#they want you to say company obviously. well they say dont lie but i absolutely will on every question thsts how it goes

[dragpinkman]

applying to cvs is harder than the fucking army jesus

[purplekiwis]

OMG YES! Damaged goods blurb! Can you do a fluff one where one of them is sick with seasonal flu and the other has to take care of them, but they're being stubborn about it because that's just what they do and how they are 🤧

Okay, okay... here she is! It's a bit meh I think, but I hope you like it! 🥰

*

Harry is sick and grumpy, and Y/N takes care of him (from the Damaged Goods AU)

Harry feels miserable.

He’s worse than miserable, really,

because he has a cold… or is it the flu?! He has never known to spot the differences between the two, but he recognized all of the early signs, of course...

As per usual, it started with nothing but a sore throat one morning when he woke up, that ended up lingering throughout the whole day, then came a headache, and the tiredness, and the chills…

It wasn’t so unbearable at first… but the symptoms only kept getting worse and worse as the hours went by, to the point of leaving him with no choice but to skip his classes in favor of staying in bed… suffering.

The worst part about it? He wasn’t even suffering at home – where his mom could be taking her lips to his forehead every so often to see if he had a fever, and bringing him bowls of soup and fruit cubes on that same familiar bedtray that had accompanied him throughout all his periods of sickness.

Mom would also be making sure he stayed hydrated and took his medicine in time... which by the way, he wasn’t taking any. Logically speaking, Harry knew he should have gone to a pharmacy by now, to get something to make him feel better, but how? When he couldn't even muster the will to get up and go downstairs to fill the empty water bottle perched on his nightstand.

He couldn’t move.

Every single inch of his body hurt.

And now he was starting to get shivery under his bedclothes... for fucks sake.

If only he had Pepper, his spaniel mutt puppy, around to snuggle and keep his body cozy and warm like a hot water bag... then perhaps Harry would've been in a better mood. Yeah, definitely. Pepper would've let him bury his snotty face into its soft fur, and not even think to complain if its owner left a puddle of guck all over said fur.

But well, Pepper isn't there.

And being sick sucks.

Especially because Harry really wants some cuddles... and it hasn't been helping his case whatsoever that in this trying day of illness, his mind has done nothing but think of Y/N.

Pondering over what outfit she must have worn that day and what she might be up to while he’s laying there on his deathbed. He also wonders if she has noticed his absence, and if so… if she’s worried about him.

He huffs once he checks his phone again and realizes there are still no messages from her. She doesn’t have to check on him. He knows that, but he can't help that he likes to be cared for sometimes… and as it turns out illness has a tendency to turn him into a big, needy baby... who really wants to have Y/N taking care of him. It would be so good. She could play with his hair the way he likes, give him forehead kisses, hold his hand…

Harry sighs out loud. Her company would be even better than Pepper's, he believes... although Harry isn't so sure Y/N would enjoy having his snot on her as much as his trusty pup would, but that’s beside the point.

It’s even more beside the point because he knows she's not coming to see him.

She’s mad at him, he recalls now. Stupidly so, if he's allowed to think that - he did nothing wrong, after all. She asked him for a “brutally honest opinion” on a design work she was doing for one of her classes, and he simply gave her what she asked for, plain as that. But of course, then she didn’t like what he had to say and got sulky. Just girls being girls, he guesses…

Harry should've known better than to think that would stop her from coming to see him, though. His girl was a little box of surprises, after all... a true master in the art of keeping him on his toes.

She showed up only half an hour after she was done with her classes... softly knocking on his door before poking her head inside with a smile, only for her jaw to drop in shock at the absolute misery that oozed from his pores.

“Y/N…” His voice cracked sickly, almost comically. Harry could have laughed at it if he wasn't so utterly lethargic. “What- what are you doing here?”

“Well, what do you think?” The girl huffed, shutting the bedroom door behind her and heading towards the end of the bed to get a good look at him, hands on her hips. “Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Here I was, going about my day thinking you had slept in for being a bum, only to find out through your friends that you were unwell.”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek, trying to hide his downright amusement at her worried state. Y/N was worried about him? Well then, perhaps her irritation had passed and she had forgiven him… which meant maybe he’d get to have those cuddles he wanted so bad. “I thought you were mad at me?” He poked, eyebrows arching teasingly the best they could with the little energy the muscles on his face could muster.

“Well, I was and am now even more.” She punctuated. “But I still care, obviously. How am I supposed to leave you by yourself when you look like that?” She put down the bag she was holding at the edge of the bed and kneeled next to it on the floor.

“Look like what?” He frowned again. “All snotty and gross?”

“Precisely… and an awful lot like Rudolph the reindeer as well.” Y/N added, with a soft pat to the tip of his swollen, red nose.

Harry smiled at that, right before his eyes fell on the bag over his bed. “Did you go to the store to get those creepy sheet masks you wanted?”

“Huh?” She muttured confused, before noticing where he was looking at. “Oh no, um… these are just some things I got for you. Just vitamins and those gummies for when you have a sore throat, and also uh…” Y/N's cheeks went a little hot. “I got some chicken soup from the buffet restaurant as well, you know… the one next to the drug store. I thought it might do you good…”

“You went to get all that stuff for me?” Harry asked, Y/N hummed happily in confirmation, her eyes gleaming with tenderness. “Y/N... you shouldn't have. That shit is so expensive, and I'm fine, really. It's just a cold. You dont have to worry, let alone take care of me.”

“No offence, but I think I do.” The girl challenged his statement, picking up the halfway used toilet paper roll placed on his nightstand. “For a start, you shouldn’t even be using this to blow your nose. It’ll only irritate your skin and make it more sore.”

Harry rolled his eyes playfully. “That’s such a mum thing to say…” He grumbled in attempt to mask the fact that the secret big, needy baby in him was loving every single bit of the mom talk, and the same applies to when Y/N clicked her tongue chastisingly once he stubbornly snatched the roll off her hand and pulled out some more paper.

She took the chance that he had moved his arm to move a bit closer, sitting on the edge of the bed next to his pillow. “Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better?” She asked, lovingly running her digits through his unwashed curls. They felt a little waxy and knotty in her hands, but she didn’t mind it in the slightest. She just wanted to make him feel better in any way she could. So she kept playing with his hair, scratching at the roots and combing her fingers through his strands just the way she knew he reveled in - only breaking contact once she was almost certain that he had fallen asleep on her... However, as soon as Y/N began to pull her hand away to check her phone, Harry let out a whine and bumped his forehead against her wrist, in a silent request for her to keep going. “You're such a baby sometimes…” Y/N whispered, proceeding to fulfill his wish.

“Mhm... your baby.” He sighed happily.

Y/N smiled to herself at the state of pure bliss Harry was in. So utterly distracted by the slow puffy nature of his breaths, that she almost didnt notice that his droopy eyes had opened and were now fixed on her. He cleared his throat painfully. “Y/N... can I have one of those gummies you got? My throat hurts and I really want to try one.”

Y/N let out a tiny chuckle at the pleading tone he'd used, nodding as she got up to grab the bottle from the bag. She threw it at him playfully to catch midair, knowing that his reflexes were outstanding. “Ohh these seem nice. I love lemon and honey flavored shit.” He told her whilst inspecting the label.

“Yeah?” Y/N couldn’t help but to grin, feeling quite proud of herself for picking the right flavor. But her smile quickly melted into an expression of concern once she watched Harry crack open the bottle and carelessly throw a bunch of gummies into his mouth. “Harry! What are you- that’s not candy! You can’t eat them by the handful!”

“Oi, chill out… it’s just gummies. What wrong could it do?” He asked as he blithely chewed them. Words coming out garbled since he was speaking in between a mouthful.

“Oh, I don't know, perhaps there could be anesthetics in them... but who knows? It was just a thought.” Y/N ironized.

“Really?” He made a wry face similar to hers, inspecting the label closer. “Do you think we can get high on this shit?” He smirked, still chewing as he rolled the container around to check the ingredients in the back. “Cause I'm not gonna lie, that sounds like a pretty good afternoon plan to me...” He half joked, cracking the bottle open again and dropping a couple more gummies in his palm.

Y/N heaved at the suggestion. “I think it’s more likely that you get a terrible bellyache, and we end up in the ER...”

“You really think so?” Harry asked teasingly, taking another gummy to his mouth.

“Okay, that's enough. Give me that.” Y/N demanded, pushing for him to pass the container, but all he did was shake his head with a mischievous, defiant smirk. The girl rolled her eyes at him. “You know what? Fine.” She shrugged. “Eat as many as you want. Can't wait to watch you shit the bed once those anesthetics give you a loose bottom.”

He chuckled at the warning, amused. “If you’re so bothered, why don’t you come get them from me?” He questioned, but before he could prepare himself Y/N jumped on the bed to try and take the bottle away from his hands, what forced him to abruptly sit up and hold it over his head just so she couldn’t reach it from where she sat. “That was... real cute. Is that all you got, hm?”

Y/N huffed and crawled over his legs until she was practically on his lap. Seeing right through his facade once he happily handed off the gummies without putting up a fight and wrapped his arms around her middle to pull her in for a hug instead. “You must think you're so sly, don't you?” She mumbled in question, going back to petting his hair. “If you wanted a cuddle, you could’ve just said so… I don't mind your germs.”

“I was trying to behave to avoid getting you sick, actually…”

“Yeah right...” Y/N grumbled, dropping her head on his shoulder for a moment. “But I guess, since you've already passed me the germs and all... might as well just give me a kiss, no?” She proposed shyly, waiting for Harry to make the move. He did, pulling away slightly and placing his lips in hers softly. “Mm, more.” She pouted.

“Greedy.” He joshed, pecking the girl's lips again, and again... and once more for good measure. The damage was already done, after all... they might as well just keep doing it. “I feel disgusting, though. If I knew you were coming, I would’ve at least taken a shower and brushed my teeth. Can’t believe you still want to kiss me when I am like this.”

Y/N scratched at the frizzy hairs of his nape. “I promise you don't smell or look nearly as bad as you think you do… and you taste like lemon and honey so, that’s nice.” Harry distrustfully scrunched up his nose at her allegation, sniffing up some in the process before his digits rushed to grab some more toilet paper. He took it to his nose, blowing noisily. “Alright, snotty boy…” Y/N laughed, swiftly crawling off his lap. “How about I go downstairs to plate up our soup while you pick a movie for us to watch as we eat? It can be one of those “guy movies” and all, I promise I won't complain... today only, cause I'm giving you privilege for being sick.”

His eyes strayed towards you with interest, the lower half of his face still covered behind the poorly ripped toilet paper sheets. “I was actually thinking more like a musical or a pixar movie, maybe?”

“God, Harry.” Y/N gasped in awe. “I swear I've never felt more attracted to you in my life. Snot and everything.”

[rek1s-headband]

if it's okay with you, could I request headcanons for reki and langa with a shy s/o?

A/N: Thanks for the request! Hope you enjoy:)

With a shy s/o

Characters: Reki Kyan, Langa Hasegawa x gn! reader

Warnings: none!

Reki

Absolutely loves it

It’s a real comfort to him. Being the upbeat, talkative person that he is, he appreciates having someone there to just listen to him, to just take everything in instead of questioning him on it

Would be like your bodyguard in public. If he feels you’re getting uncomfortable while you’re both around a lot of new people, he’ll either offer to take you around and introduce you to them so you feel better, or take you outside for a breather

Always asking if you’re comfortable going places when he knows a lot of people will be there

Sometimes he can be a bit blind to stressful situations. Being the extrovert he is, he’s a lot more comfortable being around new people, talking and making passing comments with ease. But one tug of his arm or a quiet glance his way and he’s springing into action, holding you close and asking what he can do to make you feel better

Eases you into things. He’s always going to make sure you gradually get used to new places, and will never leave your side

The pair of you met at S. he was racing in a beef against your friend, and you were there to support him. The two of them were on good terms of course, it was just a friendly race

He saw you chatting to him after the race, and he was honestly blown away by how gorgeous you were. He found himself staring, admiring your quiet smile, talking in a hushed voice. He wondered why you weren’t talking louder, it wasn’t exactly a library out here after all.

Langa flicked his temple after a minute or two, saying “if you’re gonna keep ogling them like a creep, you might as well go say hi.” He could feel himself glowing with embarrassment, but before he knew it he was shaking off his nerves and walking right over to you

He called out to your friend, giving him a high five as he began to talk about the race. You stayed relatively quiet, glancing at your phone occasionally and looking around. This threw Reki for a loop, surely you had something to say about the race? Confident as he was, he didn’t feel like starting a conversation without your friend hopefully introducing him first.

Just as he expected, your friend pulled you over, introducing you to Reki. You gave him a smile and a quiet “hello” before going back to your phone. Reki was a bit disappointed, but he didn’t let it show. Soon after, your friend announced he needed to go talk to his friend, and he’d leave you two to chat for a few minutes. You watched him leave with pleading eyes, begging him not to leave you with this complete stranger

There was a silence between you two for a minute or so, but Reki soon broke the silence. “So how did you find the race? Did you like it?” The words were already spilling out, and you felt yourself get embarrassed. What were you supposed to say??

“Yeah, it was..good.” You were mentally kicking yourself, wishing you could say more, but your brain was turning to mush in its attempt to converse with this new person. It didn’t help that he was, well, cute. Like, really cute. His hair was held back with a headband, but a lot of it still managed to escape, his fluffy locks obscuring his vision. You found yourself staring, and only snapped out of it when he waved a gentle hand in front of your face.

“Nothing else? What did you think of my skating? Was I good? Did I look cool?” He was ducking his head down to the part of the ground you were staring at, looking up at you with big eyes. He wasn’t used to talking to such quiet people, but hey, it was something he could get used to. To him, there was something quite endearing about your small smiles and wide eyes, simply taking in the world around you. You reminded him of Langa when he first met him, one-word replies and big eyes. He grinned, hoping you’d warm up to him like Langa did

He began to worry you didn’t want to talk to him when you didn’t respond, but a grin quickly spread across his face when he realised you were blushing. Reki’s mind was going into overdrive as your eyes widened, throwing your hands over your face.

“No! I mean- you were really cool, I liked that trick you did in the middle...” your voice quietened again when Reki dramatically let out a gasp, collapsing to his knees and holding a hand out to you. Your face was practically crimson at this point, frantically looking around, wishing for your friend to materialise and rescue you. You turned back to Reki, about to ask him what he was doing, when he suddenly spoke up.

“THEY SPEAK!!” He shot you another smile. “And here I was under the impression you just stood there and looked pretty.” You felt your face grow impossibly redder, but you surprised even yourself when you let out a loud laugh. Reki looked at you with wide eyes, and he could feel his grin grow even wider. You pulled him off the ground, looking around, still half mortified from his display. You tried to let go of his hand once you picked him up, but he just held it even tighter, his face inches from yours.

“So what I’m hearing is that you liked my skating?” You tried to look away from him, but you could feel yourself getting lost in his amber eyes. Taking the record for the worlds worst timing, your friend came back with a drink in his hand, apologising for how long he took before his eyes landed on the pair of you. To any bystander, the two of you looked quite intimate. Hand in hand, faces inches away from meeting

You pushed away from Reki, resembling a tomato as you waved your hands, telling your friend it wasn’t what it looked like, that you were just talking. You turned to Reki for backup, but you were met with someone who could only be described as though they were on airplane mode. A giddy grin on his face, and a small blush creeping across his face, he quietly ran a hand through his messy hair while giggling. This only worsened your case, turning around to your friend to hide in his shoulder.

Of course, Reki magically ended up with your number by the end of the night, and you were bombarded with texts before you could even set foot outside the doors of S

Langa

Unlike Reki, he’s slightly more versed in the art of silence. You can always guarantee a bit of a brain break when you’re with Langa, just enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence

As for Langa, he appreciates having someone who doesn’t expect him to be keeping up with them talking a mile a minute. Of course, he loves listening to peoples’ endless babbling too, he just likes to be a bit more active in the conversation sometimes, which you make easy with your quieter demeanour, leaving more space in between your sentences for him to give input

He is glued to your hip in public. Mumbling sweet nothings in your ear as you walk along the streets, he’ll quietly talk about random things he finds strange or funny about the things he sees around him, keeping you in gentle company so you dont feel stressed

At any social gatherings with a lot of people, he’s rubbing circles in your hand, making sure you’re not uncomfortable with the people around you. If at any point he sees you begin to get restless, he’ll excuse the oar of you and take you for a walk, or even just to get a glass of water

The two of you met at the skate park. He’d been practicing with Reki when he saw you walk in with one or two of your friends, shifting from foot to foot as you scanned the park, checking to eye who was there. When your eyes landed on him, you were surprised to see he was looking straight back at you. Embarrassed, you looked away. Suddenly the floor was looking quite appealing to you.

Slightly agape, Langa’s mouth quickly turned into a little pout. You didn’t even smile...Of course, you didn’t even know him, but why did he suddenly feel like he really wanted you to?

Reki watched his friend’s mind spin, a little grin settling on his face. Did little Langa here have a crush? The cogs were already turning in his head, thinking of ways to make the pair of you interact. Not to mention, he wouldn’t mind getting cozy with your friends while you two talked...

“Langaaaa, you should really go talk to them yknow.” Langa almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned his head away from you, a look of panic spreading over his face while he stammered out that Reki had it all wrong, that he just wanted to see who’d come into the park. Reki tutted, putting his hand in his chin. He mumbled about how Langa shouldn’t lie, that it was normal to find people hot, which earned him a smack into the back of his skull

Somewhere during the play fight, the two heard a flurry of hello’s being exchanged, and they looked over to where you had been standing. Your friends were now talking to who Langa assumed were more of your friends, and watched as you trailed a little behind, carrying your skateboard awkwardly and not really knowing what to do with yourself. It became apparent to Langa that these new people weren’t friends of yours, and he felt his heart ache as he watched you stand a few feet back, glancing around and at your phone.

Reki saw how Langa stared at you, and before long he was dragging Langa up, and over in your direction. “Come on prince Langa, save your damsel in distress.” Langas brain went jdskhvmhcb as he thought of just what he was supposed to say to you, and hoped Reki would just do the talking. But to his distress, Reki gave him one last push and ran back to where the pair had been sitting. Langa looked back with a face that could only be described as “fuck you, seriously go fuck yourself.” As as he turned back around, he was met with your big eyes and a look of curiosity

He took a deep breath, taking a second to compose himself, and he took a stab at introducing himself

“Uh..hi” he mentally kicked himself, obviously that wasn’t going to do anything?? He was pleasantly surprised when you gave him a smile and a small “hello” in return. This was enough for him to regain his confidence, making another attempt at conversation

“Ok so..I saw you standing here and, uh, I was wondering if you were alright. You just seemed kind of lost.” He gave you a soft smile, giving his shoulders a little shrug as if to say well there you have it. “I’m Langa, by the way.” You looked up at him as he spoke, and Jesus, he could feel himself staring at you again. There was no denying you were incredibly attractive, and from up close it was just amplified. He was brought back to reality when you laughed, and his face lit up when he realised you were going to actually talk to him.

“Well, thank you for your concern, I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do with myself honestly.” You let out a quiet sign, giving him a soft smile before continuing. “It’s my first time here, and my other friends have been here before, they’ve gone over to their friends, and I didn’t really want to interrupt. I still dont exactly know how to ride this thing yet either,” you motioned to the board in your hand, “so you can imagine my predicament.” Langa looked down at you with a smile, quietly laughing before attempting to talk

“Well, if you want, I can give you a few pointers.” You gave him a look of concern, waving your hands around. “Oh no, its fine, you’re with your friend, I wouldn’t want to butt in-“ your rambling was cut short when he grabbed your hand, and you felt your face heat up.

“You’re not interrupting anything. Let me just grab my board and we can start.” He brought you over to Reki, who was acting completely oblivious to what had been going on, even though he was the evil bastard who set the two of you up. He looked up with a smile, handing Langa his board and offering you some food with a wink in both of your directions. He chuckled as he watched Langa lead you away, getting up and grabbing his board, deciding that while your friends were there he might as well attempt to impress them.

“Keep yourself a bit more balanced.” Langa instructed you from atop your board “you wont fall off as much then.” You were glowing from embarrassment, feeling like all eyes were on you as you failed to stand on the board without shaking. You mumbled about how it was easier said than done, sighing as you got off the board again. Langa nudged you to stand onto it again, this time his hands wandered to your waist. If you weren’t crimson before, you were now. Langa quickly realised how suggestive this looked, looking up at you with a panicked expression

“Uh-Not like that! I just..to keep the board still!” He was now redder than you, if that was somehow possible. In an attempt to stabilise yourself, you put your hands over his on your waist, which you soon realised only worsened the situation. You were both a stumbling, red mess within seconds. Reki watched from the sidelines, amused by your ministrations.

After a while, you started to get used to the board, but even after you got comfortable Langa’s arms never left your waist. You had been practicing with him for well over an hour now, and your friends were ready to leave. With giggles and nudges they made their way over to the pair of you, before shouting your name and scaring the shit out of the two of you.

As you got off your board and got ready to leave, Langa grabbed your hand. Your face flushing red once more, you turned to him questionably

“Um.. I had a lot of fun today, would you maybe want to do it again sometime?” Your friends jumped up and down behind you as the pair of you exchanged numbers and a quick hug. Blushing as you linked arms with your friend, you gave Langa one last smile before leaving the park

Maybe you were glad your friends dragged you here today after all

[traincat]

if you dont mind i would love to hear your thoughts on how and why peter seems to be more fulfilled by lower paying jobs (i.e photography, teaching) rather than by high paying jobs in STEM

(Sorry for the wait, anon! I did get this first ask, as you can see, it’s just that sometimes I tend to hoard asks that I want to give long in-depth answers to and then they get buried.)

So I think to best answer this the first thing we have to do is look at Peter’s 616 employment history -- what jobs he’s had when and for approximately how long. So here we have a more or less definitive list -- I may have skipped over a few minor jobs that aren’t important in the long run of the character history, but for the most part this is accurate. For the sake of brevity I am not going to count things he’s done as Spider-Man that have earned him money, like a brief bodyguard stint or his occasional time with the Avengers, because this is really more about his identity as Peter Parker and how his civilian employment plays into his life as Spider-Man than about his life as Spider-Man.

Works for the Daily Bugle on and off, through a variety of positions from part time to salaried, from the age of 15 onwards. Primarily a photographer. How good of a photographer Peter actually is varies from writer to writer, but he remains unmatched in his ability to get certain shots ranging from ones of Spider-Man (duh) to particularly high risk environments (different duh). He also briefly worked for rival newspaper the Daily Globe, the Bugle’s main competitor. His position as a full time newspaper photographer is his most well known (and most consistent) job.

A TA in grad school at Empire State University. At this point in time he labeled himself as having “the wrong temperament” for teaching -- and I would personally say I think his stints teaching college are much less engaging than high school.

Published author. His book, Webs, a collection of his Spider-Man photography, was a major bestseller that sent him on a book tour around the country. I hesitated sticking this on here because it’s very tied into his work with the Bugle -- and he was still working for the Bugle when the book was published -- but I figured it was worth including for the novelty of the fact that Peter’s technically a best selling author/artist.

Peter worked as a scientist at Galannan Alternative Research for Immunization Development (GARID) in Portland after his clone Ben Reilly took over the identity of Spider-Man. Although often overlooked in discussions of Peter’s job history, I think his stint at GARID is important in part because it illustrates how much of Peter’s time being Spider-Man took up and how a job with flexible hours was necessary for that balancing act. When he was working at GARID, Peter wasn’t Spider-Man, so it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a position at a laboratory. 

I mean granted the GARID job didn’t last long and there was sort of a whole big mutated monster case going on with it but you know. Anyway he pretty quickly moved back to New York and started working for the Bugle again.

Peter’s next major job at a lab comes in another period where he’s supposed to have quit being Spider-Man. (Which he did, very temporarily, and then he very much didn’t. Anyway, you’re seeing the pattern here.) He briefly worked at Tricorp, a private brain trust. This is a really short-lived position, even as Peter’s science gigs go, because -- Spider-Man.

At this point things get dicey employment-wise as Peter heads into a weird period of canon where Mary Jane was presumed dead. She wasn’t! But everyone thought she was. It was weird. When MJ came back (and promptly left for LA, not that I blame her), Peter exited this period of limbo by becoming a science teacher at his old school, Midtown High. This is the main career, beside news photography, that I think he really shines in.

Civil War/One More Day/Brand New Day hit and completely tank the direction of Spider-Man history. Peter’s marriage is erased by the devil and also he’s not a high school teacher anymore, for some reason, even though nobody remembers he’s Spider-Man anymore which is the reason he initially lost the Midtown High job. Make it make sense. Anyway, in Marvel’s desperate scramble to take Spider-Man back to the unmarried basics, as if they even got new readers that way, Peter returned to photography. When Dexter Bennett bought the Bugle out from under JJJ while JJJ was sick, Peter began working for the newly minted “DB” as a tabloid photographer. It wasn’t great.

He also briefly at some point in here worked at a comic book store for like five minutes. Mostly he complained about people who read comic books and made jokes about how he doesn’t get along with the X-Men. 

Under Slott’s run, Peter began working at Horizon Labs. Slott had a pretty major problem with Peter’s genius not being “recognized enough” and constantly had him inventing new things, showing off, etc. 

Horizon Lab became Parker Industries under Otto Octavius when he bodyjacked Peter during Superior Spider-Man and made himself CEO. When Peter got his body back, he was still CEO. It was bad but Peter did tank the company on purpose so that Otto and also nazis couldn’t get their hands on it, which was sort of fun. 

Peter went back to work for the Bugle, but as their science editor, because Slott was still in charge and there was some weird commentary about photography not being an adult job. Which I think is pretty weird in a medium that’s very dependent on visual art. But okay.

Then Peter got fired because he was busted for plagiarism of Otto Octavius’ work... that Otto did himself... while he was in Peter’s body... and Peter couldn’t reveal this because then he’d have to explain... and maybe I hate comics. 

In MC2 he becomes a forensic scientist! I really like this for him actually. I think it combines his interests and experiences in a very thoughtful way. But I do want to note it’s after a Spider-Man career ending injury, so again there’s not a real conflict there between his work as Spider-Man and a career.

Peter I think is an especially interesting case in how his character ties into his employment history because one of the first things he does in his story is figure out how to make money, and he does this because the Parkers don’t have any. If Ben and May were comfortable -- even comfortable enough that their teenaged nephew was unaware of financial pressures -- Spider-Man’s story would be completely different. But Peter immediately feels he pressure to use his new powers to earn money, at first with brute strength. And what he says he’s going to do with his earnings is that he’s going to take care of Ben and May:

(Amazing Fantasy #15) So the concept of Peter as someone who is very aware of financial pressure and who is pretty explicitly linking money to support is present from the absolute beginning. But at the same time, there’s a kind of selfishness presented in him here -- he’s only going to take care of Ben and May. They’re the only ones he cares about here, because as he’s stated they’re the only ones who have ever “been kind” to him. Peter at the beginning of his story is very rooted in his anger and his bitterness, and it takes him losing Uncle Ben -- because it wasn’t Peter’s “job” to stop the burglar -- to get him to the point where he starts to be able to see beyond that.

Ben’s death also heightens the Parker’s financial pressures -- Ben is the primary earner in the household. (Aunt May in the original context of the early 1960s was most likely a homemaker, and as an older woman especially she wouldn’t be expected to have a job. But even moving the timescale up to a point where she would be expected as a woman to hold down a job, it’s important to note that early in Spider-Man canon Aunt May is depicted as being in very poor physical health.) While it’s not clear in the initial Spider-Man stories what Ben did, it’s clear that with his death whatever income the Parkers had coming in abruptly stops:

(ASM #1) This sets in concrete one of the central conflicts Peter and May have -- both of them lie to protect the other. Peter feigns being an ordinary boy in order to protect May from the stress of his secret life as Spider-Man, worried that she wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the danger he regularly puts himself in. But this is a learned behavior, and here we see that he most likely learned it from May: she doesn’t want him to worry about the very deep financial troubles they’re obviously in, so she pawns her jewelry, and she stresses to him the importance of his education. Again I have to note that there are some pretty significant social differences between the 1960s and today in regards to this story -- Betty Brant, for example, notes that she had to drop out of school and become a secretary because of her own family’s financial problems, something she’s ashamed of. So early Spider-Man is very rooted in money, class, education, and how those things intersect. I think it should be noted that the only early Spider-Man characters who are financially well-off are Liz, Gwen, and Harry. (We don’t know anything about Flash’s financial situation in early Spider-Man comics but retroactively we know his family situation is not well-off.) In high school, Liz’s father is a bigshot who owns a dining club, but later on the Allans experience financial hardship with Liz quite literally being on the streets when Peter reunites with her when he’s in college. Harry’s father is a rich businessman, but from the beginning he’s depicted as emotionally negligent, caring more about money than spending time with his son:

(ASM #40) “After all... I had a business to care of! Money was the most important thing of all! I had to get rich! I needed wealth... for that was the key to power!” So right away you have this link between wealth, corruption, and negligence. Norman’s pursuit of wealth is his given reason for his neglect of Harry. Later on we’d learn that Norman’s father was also abusive and that that abuse formed Norman’s ideas about power and wealth. (Spider-Man! It’s about cycles of abuse!) There’s a very contrast between Norman’s attitudes here and the Parkers loving (but poor) household. Gwen is the only exception here -- she and her father are depicted as comfortable, most likely edging into wealthy, although on nowhere the level the Osborns have been elevated to. But compared to Peter, Flash, and Mary Jane especially -- all from poor households, with MJ and Flash’s fathers both being abusive -- Gwen’s home situation is the picture of stability, both in terms of economic status and in terms of her loving and very present father.

My goal in outlining all of this isn’t to say that Spider-Man’s message is definitively “money is bad” because I don’t think it is. I think as a series Spider-Man is very aware of the comfort that money can provide. But I think there is a frequent message about excess in Spider-Man -- excess power, excess wealth. As Norman says above, in his eyes, money is the key to power. With great power, comes great responsibility. In Norman hoarding and abusing his wealth, he abuses his power. If he provides for Harry, it is solely through money -- there is no love or devotion in Norman’s money-focused world. And I think that’s important when you look at where Peter starts in his story, before Uncle Ben’s death. He’s going to use his powers to make a lot of money and he’s going to provide for Ben and May but he’s not going to care about the world outside of that. I think one of the interesting things about Peter -- and this is where Slott’s run especially fails the character -- is that he’s not interesting in getting rich. He’d like to be comfortable, for sure -- he’d like to have enough money to not have worry about it, to not have the need to hustle impede what he can do as Spider-Man, to be able to take care of his family. (And there’s some machismo stuff linked in here for him too -- in the early days of their marriage the fact that Mary Jane earns much more than him is something he struggles with.) But he doesn’t care about being rich. He doesn’t care about the money; he cares about the support that the money would bring. 

That feels like a simple statement but I think it’s actually a really big distinction, especially when you’re analyzing a character. And I think it’s because Peter understands that value that it makes him so empathetic to others who have financial struggles. One of my favorite short self-contained Spider-Man stories is called Windfall, from Marvel Fanfare #42, where a mixup with a check embroils Peter in the personal affairs of a bank teller, a young single mother who is fired from her job ultimately because she refused the advances of her boss. Peter gets her her job back -- through blackmailing the boss for his other sexual affairs, which some people might think is immoral of him, but I think really speaks to Peter’s understanding of how the greater world works, and what he’s prepared to do to get bigger justice. But more importantly he uses his own money to pay the young woman’s rent, and he does it in a way where she never even knows it’s him. Because he understands her situation, the way someone who had grown up comfortable never could. And that understanding I think puts him a place where it’s more important for him to both keep that understanding and maintain that ability to act relatively freely, in the way that bigger, more prestigious positions in scientific fields might restrict him. There’s a reason he keeps getting fired from these scientific positions and it’s not that he can’t get them, because we can see from his employment history very clearly that he can. It’s because the freedom to act as Spider-Man and what he can do as Spider-Man is ultimately more important to him.

And while high school teacher is my number one favorite profession Peter has ever had, I think that his position as a newspaper photographer is also very important to the character’s history, in part because the Bugle is such a big part of his life and the connections he’s made but also because the Daily Bugle itself is important. I think it’s interesting to note that two of the biggest superheroes of all time from both of the big companies -- Spider-Man from Marvel and Superman from DC -- have had long running journalism jobs, Peter as a photographer and Clark as a reporter. I don’t think I really have to go into a whole thing about how good journalists are so important and why it matters that we have these incredibly famous mythic figures that are positioned in the roll of journalists specifically. But I do think it is important to Peter that he’s put in that position as someone who cares about uncovering the truth. So ultimately I think what I mean when I say Peter is more fulfilled by his jobs as a photojournalist and as a high school teacher than by his comparatively more high paying stints working as a scientist in a lab is that Peter gets the most fulfillment out of careers where he can actively see, day by day, that what he’s doing is helping people, and that it’s a very direct line from him to the people he’s helping. His efforts can’t be twisted, they can’t be used for other purposes the way they can within a larger organization. He has a line of control in what he can do to help other people. It’s like how Spider-Man functions best as a street level hero: what he does best is saving and helping individual people, on a case by case basis. And you can turn around and demonstrate that in his civilian life best in jobs where he gets to directly interact with people. And ultimately to Peter making that difference is more important than a better salary.

(Marvel Knights Spider-Man #9)

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello 👋🏼, sorry if I’m bothering u but ever since the recent chapters of BNHA I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Todoroki family. Not many of my friends are into this anime and I just couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you because I need to let this out.

[SPOILER ALERT 🚨!!! IF U DONT READ THE MANGA THEN U CAN JUST IGNORE THIS]

First of all:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

(I’m still screaming as I write because the backstories RUINED me.)

Poor Touya having this horrible obsession over heroics and having his father acknowledge him but ever since his quirk started reacting against his body the whole family got negatively affected by it.

Rei and Enji wanted to stop at two kids but with Touya’s sudden disadvantage and the latter’s craving for power, Natsuo and later on Shouto was born (the youngest getting titled as the perfect heir from the moment he was born). I got torn seeing Touya’s eyes succumb to absolute madness at the birth of his younger brothers.

What scared me the most was how when it was just Touya and Fuyumi, the two hardly interacted despite being only a year apart in age. Touya claimed that ‘girls just don’t get it’ this small foreshadowing was later brought to light in the most recent chapter where he once again rejects Fuyumi’s company in favour of ranting to only Natsuo and where he disregards his own mother— another ‘girl’ that doesn’t understand his obsession passion for surpassing All Might and someone who plays along to the acts of those stronger than them. Touya saw his mother as a weak person who had no choice but to marry for the sake of her family and have custom children. Little Touya firmly believed his very existence depended on getting acknowledged my his father and defeating All Might but it sadly didn’t come true😭😭

Also..... LOOK AT THE BABIES!!!! They’re all so CUTE!!!

Chubby Fuyumi!!!

Natsuo with a running nose

And Baby Shouto with a meme like face since the day he was born🤣🤣🤣🤣

So ADORABLE!

And another thing. FUYUMI WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN I THOUGHT TO HAVE STARTED ACTING LIKE A SECOND MOTHER TO HER BROTHERS!! Look at the way she defended Natsuo when Touya went on a rampage and tried to attack Touya! And during moments when Enji and Rei fought the two most notable heroes were Shouto and Fuyumi; the former fighting on the frontlines to face his father while the latter stood behind to once again care for her remaining family that though weren’t involved in the fight, they still needed emotional support to get through it.😭

I AM SO SORRY TO BE GETTING TO THIS SO LATE ANON BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

TW: Spoilers, Brief Mention of Child Abuse (Physical, Emotional and Mental), General Fandom Wank

So, like, SO MUCH HAPPENED in those chapters and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALMOST ALL OF IT! There’s obviously all the things you mentioned above that were just amazing to see and learn! I know that a majority of the fandom has been absolutely livid about the reveals involving Touya being drastically different than what fandom thought they were all this time, but I think it honestly highlights how smart Horikoshi’s writing really is.

In Shoto, we see the effects of physical and mental abuse on a child, and how easily he could have ended up going down a troubling road much like Touya. Shoto’s saving grace is facing off against Deku in the Sports Festival, giving him an outside perspective and makes him realize that he can choose to be better, but that doesn’t just magically fix all of Shoto’s problems. Shoto still struggles with his feelings towards his Father and how he is perceived by simply being Endeavor’s son. We see that in the Provisional License Arc, where Shoto is so thoroughly rattled by Inasa. It’s even further pushed through how Shoto struggles with his feelings about Endeavor trying to better and whether or not he should forgive him. I feel like Shoto’s arc is incredibly strong and that his struggles are very realistic, which is why people love him so much. This whole concept is another thing I could rant about but I’m going to leave it here.

Meanwhile, with Touya, we see the effects of mental and emotional abuse on a child and how it can completely destroy them. I think people that act like Horokoshi “down played” and “ret-conned” Endeavor as a character to make him more sympathetic/ redeemable or that he’s simply writing Touya as “always being a bad seed” are missing the mark. This is, admittedly, something you see a lot when it comes to victims of abuse in the real world as well; the idea that if you weren’t physically or sexually abused on top of emotional or mental abuse, your abuse is somehow less “valid.” Now I’ve seen more voices speaking out against this mentality - which is relieving and positive - but it’s still a problem. The way Touya was abused is no less valid or scarring to himself as a person as what Shoto has been through was. Touya and Enji clearly had a deep bond as father and son. Hell, the fact that Enji is sobbing and saying he “can’t fight his own son” in regards to Touya, but clearly had less issue training Shoto until he got ill or passed out says a lot.

Touya was put on an incredibly high pedestal by Enji’s constant praise and attention. He was the apple of his father’s eye until the limitations of his Quirk were discovered. Enji had filled his head with promises and goals for what his future would be, essentially selling him what turned out to be a lie. We see Rei herself tell Enji that Touya “knows you expect something out of the kids.” Touya’s whole life up until that point was being told of all the great he would someday accomplish, and equating that to being deserving of his Father’s love, attention and affection.

And then he couldn’t live up to that expectation. And then his parents had two more kids following that revelation. The idea that Touya doesn’t realize that Natsuo and Shoto were meant to be his replacements - unbroken models that “deserved” Enji’s love - is clearly not missed by him. It’s evident in the way he looks at Natsuo after he’s born. He sees this as a sign that he is no longer deserving - no longer worthy - of love or support from the parent he absolutely adores.

We see this mostly from Enji and Rei’s perspectives, so we know the reasons they did it, but it’s clear they didn’t stop to think about the way this would be interpreted by Touya himself. This whole matter is only worsened by the fact that Enji refuses to make sacrifices for the sake of his oldest son. He pushes Touya to live a life outside of Pro Heroics while Enji himself refuses to do the same, thus setting a positive example and showing solidarity with his son. He instead pushes him away and distances himself, loses himself in focusing on Natuso and, once his Quirk turns out to not be what he wants, Shoto. Touya continues to push himself despite his limits in a desperate bid for Enji to look at him the way he used to; with pride and love. 

What caused the fire that “killed” Touya? His anguish over being neglected and abandoned - left unloved - by his father yet again. It’s clear that Touya’s mental health is in need of some real focus that he has never gotten - due to both his parents negligence as well as the fact that mental health is highly stigmatized in Japanese society - and pairing that with the emotional and mental abuse he suffered at Enji’s hands broke him.

So many people are claiming Horikoshi is trying to make Enji “more redeemable”, but how do you get that? Enji abused Rei, his own wife, physically and emotionally and mentally until she had a psychotic breakdown, hurt their youngest child, and then robbed her the right to mother her children further by having her locked up in a psych ward for the next decade or so; built their oldest son, Touya, up only to then emotionally and mentally abuse him to the point he damn near killed himself in a frantic bid to garner Enji’s support only to return years later completely unhinged and looking to murder his entire family out of spite; neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo to the care of each other and hired help; alienated Shoto, his youngest son, from his siblings for his entire formative years, physically and mentally and emotionally abused him, groomed him to accomplish a task he never wanted, put him through such extensive physical training that Shoto would get sick or pass out.

Enji was a shitty father. He has a long ass road to continue walking if he ever wants redemption. The fact he didn't physically hit Touya doesn’t mean that Enji didn’t abuse his son and it doesn’t make Touya any less of a victim.

* End TodoFam Rant*

On a slightly lighter note, I also like all the information with Hawks’ past and all the parallels we’re seeing develop!

I’ve rambled briefly about this in other places the Huwumi discord but I want to expound upon this a bit more here.

I feel like Touya/ Dabi and Keigo/ Hawks are meant to be parallels to one another.

Back to back, we had proper name claims by these two characters. We had Dabi reveal his true identity as Todoroki Touya and then we have Hawks choosing to abandon his hero name to instead step up to fight as Takami Keigo.

I feel like “Dabi” was always a mask, of sorts. Dabi is typically pretty calm, cool, composed with the occasional bites of snark and cruelty. Meanwhile, we see Touya emoting and moving in a manner more akin to himself as a child, dancing about in manic delight over revealing his true identity and intentions. The pair of them are two drastically different people when you stop and look at it. “Dabi” was the mask he wore to gain ground to enact his revenge, and now that he is there? Now Touya can burn everything tethered to it down to ground.

Meanwhile, we have "Hawks” as he was forced to become as per the Hero Public Safety Commission. We had it revealed quite a while back that Hawks was a man of many faces, jumping from laid-back and chill to serious and focused quite frequently. “Hawks” is the presentation for the public and the Commission, groomed to be the perfect little canary in the mine that was Pro Heroics. The reveal of his true heritage, however, is not the killing blow Touya wanted it to be. Instead, it allows Keigo, the one who wanted to be a Hero to help people, the chance to truly dedicate himself to that. In being freed from the cage of “Hawks”, he is given the change to really soar as Keigo.

Now, I feel that “Dabi” and “Hawks” are most certainly parts of Touya and Keigo as well, respectively. Even though those titles were masks, they were masks made from parts of the men who wear them. I think what we’ll see going forward is the true elements of those masks bleeding back into the whole, and seeing the truest forms of each character.

For better or for worse. 

[moonvains]

How would you feel about writing a Nagito x fem!Reader where he has Hanahaki over her? I’d prefer angst with a happy ending but that’s up to you

Nagito x Fem! Reader - Hanahaki Disease

‘How would you feel about writing a Nagito x fem!reader where he has Hanahaki over her? I’d prefer angst with a happy ending but thats up to you’

Hello Anon !! I absolutely love this request, I feel like theres so much I can do with it y’know? I added my own twist that is very, very angsty, and made me cry once or twice. but hopefully, this happy ending will work in some ways - Mod Mikan

Italics = Flashbacks/Past

Standard = Present Tense

TW for accidental overdose scene and seizures

TW for emetophobia, goes without saying since I’m writing a hanahaki plot!

-----

It started with the hiccups, small breathy hitches in his chest, that felt like collapsed buildings and porcelain shards, it stung his throat. Nagito, most very naive, thought almost nothing of it at first. That changed, when he sat heaving and coughing over the fancy porcelain toilet at hopes peak.

As he sat there on his knees, sweat dripping from his head, a pain in his cheek and sticky palms wiped onto his dress pants, he cursed himself with his luck.

It could be worse, just a stomach bug, my luck has obviously changed..

That is what he thought, or maybe wanted to think. A thought deeply embedded into his frail mind every time there is a mild convenience burdening his way. Its just my luck.

Though, as he looked up, green eyes glossing over what would usually be a nasty sight of a quick snack.

Nagito saw flowers, ethereal, magenta roses, dainty petunias and elegant dandelions, floating in the water below him, almost as if they were dancing.

Once again, his breath hitched, though he wasn’t sure if it was from whatever this was. This wasn’t his luck, this wasn’t despair, this wasn’t hope. This was plain, lonely, one sided symptoms of something so delicate, something so sad.

Nagito met you on a summer day, a cool breeze blowing, his hair stuck to his lips like glue. Ultimate luck he guessed. The rest wasn’t important, it was forgotten, and it was irrelevant and it was stupid.

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

Nagito was stupid from the moment he ran into you, from the moment he brushed his lips against yours, and from the moment he looked into your eyes. he was stupid.

Stupid to think he, a disappointment, a burden, would ever be graced with something as angelic, gentle and kindhearted as you. He was right, he was really stupid.

It all made sense after you were taken away. The words still rang in his head, quite frequently

Nagito yawned, for a day where he had almost nothing to do, he was quite sleepy. He sat in class 1-A, it was Friday “study” period for class 77-B. Usually you would sit next to him or sleep on his shoulder, or maybe play video games with Chiaki. Though this time you were sick with a bad case of the flu, and he was bored shitless. He blew his hair off his face, only to watch it float back down, then he’d blow it up again.

This went on for about 15 minutes until he got a call, he wishes he didn’t get it, though knows if he didn’t pick up, it would’ve been worse.

“Nagito.. I think I messed up”, your words were slurred, hiccuping and teary.

He knew immediately something bad had happened, he would tell in the way his stomach dropped, and the uneasy anxiousness took over his body.

“Can you please come back to my house, its only me here, I need help”.

Nagito didn’t have to think twice, he ran to your house in a sprint. he didn’t know what was going on, nor what had taken place. Though with the urgency in your house, and the way you sounded off the edge of reality, he knew it was bad.

He didn’t think it would be this bad, he didn’t think it would be his fault, But it was, thats how luck works.

He walked into your house, door unlocked, the air smelt musty and there was silence apart from a dripping tap and muffled crying, it’s not hard to guess which one he went running too.

He ran into the living room to find you on the floor in a ball, your lips were blue, skin pale and eyes wider than they’d ever been before.

“Please just help me”, you sobbed. “I didn’t mean to do this”

Nagito clenched his fists while he sat, flashbacks of what happened circled through his mind. the bathroom floor was cold but his hands felt hot. He didn’t want to admit it, but this was a long time coming.

Hanahaki disease, one sided love huh? I guess it is one sided to love someone nonexistent. What hurt the most is that there was no recovering, the cure stems from the love being returned. There is no love from six feet underground, only worms, maggots and empty promises.

Eyes clenched shut, Nagito held your hair back as you expelled whatever was left in your stomach, he hated that you were in pain, there was yet to be an explanation of what was happening. Walking in only to find his lover sprawled out of the floor, crying slurred nothings before vomiting all over the carpet.

“I..I”

“Speak slowly my love, whats happened?’

“I took a handful of those herbal flu pills you left out on the counter this morning, I figured because they were plant based ”

Thats right, Nagito thought, he left his medication on the counter this morning after staying the night.

his medication on the counter

not herbal pills

a handful of Prozac 50mg capsules

he felt his heart stop

his mind searched for the side affect panel on the pamphlet when he first started taking them

strange dreams, dry mouth, decreased appetite

he remembered the second page

signs of overdose:

dilated pupils, seizures, nausea and vomiting, respiratory issues, fast heart rate and oh my god what the fuck have I done

Mind racing, hands trembling, Nagito held you close, there wasn’t time to explain, thats it, there wasn't time. His hands fumbled for his phone, holding sobs back listening to the operator instruct him to position your barely conscious body into a position seizure friendly.

Cries and mumbled words of “what have i done” escaped from his mouth as he laid you on your side, his school bag under your head and floor cleared from anything potentially dangerous. He sat there, on the floor, holding his chest sobbing, waiting for the ambulance

(Authors note ! DONT use this as a guide to help someone having a seizure or overdose, this is simply from some googling and own personal experiences, if you suspect someone you know is in danger, get a trsuted adult or medical professional)

Luck is a tricky thing, bad luck, good luck, there is a spectrum. Usually someone lives out their life on a scaled ratio of luck, some have unfortunate luck, some have spectacular luck. Though there are the unfortunate few that lie on the sidelines. Their luck a forceful rollercoaster of up and downs, tragedies and utter miracles.

The past couple of months in Nagitos life was a tragedy, who knew the dip of the rollercoaster could cost him so very much of what made him whole.  

As he sat there, the cold tile floor providing comfort for his aching palms, he remembered the paramedics, pathetically inserting a needle in your arm and calling it a day.

“We couldn’t save her, our deepest apologies”

He was angry, he knew you were gone from the moment your eyes rolled back and you lost control of your muscles, he could only sit there and scream.

But if they tried? At least do you decency? Not just act like you were another statistic is their salary, a teenager making a stupid decision.

Your parents were called, the room cleaned, and you were gone, that was it. The relationship you and Nagito held for two years crumbled. gone, as simple as that.

The white haired boy turned up to school the next day, face hollowed out with utter despair, eyes puffy and hair matted. He simply couldn’t deal with being alone, god knows what would’ve happened.

He reluctantly walked into homeroom, Miss Yukizome stationed at her desk with her almost programmed smile “Goodmorning Komaeda! I’m so glad youre joining us for another wonderful day!”

Another wonderful day? Another wonderful day watching the love of your life dying on her living room floor, loosing all control of her body and all you can do is sit there and tell her you love her, praying to all gods above she can hear it? Or Another wonderful day of crying and screaming yourself to sleep? ripping and smashing all the memories you have together in a pile because thats better than sleeping in a comfortable bed knowing she is on a plate of steel in the morgue?

Nagito kept his thoughts to himself, god knows he would probably get sent to a psychiatry institution if he spoke what was really on his mind.

With that, he sat down, eyes at the blank blackboard, fingers tapping at his desk, holding back tears that were already cried.

“Komaeda, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Teruteru exclaimed as he entered the classroom

“I wish I had”

He put his head on his desk, talking he couldn’t make out among his classmates filled his ears, he wanted quiet, ‘I wonder if she got quiet?’

Was there an afterlife? Or just a void of empty words and unfinished business. he wouldn’t know unless he experiences it himself, sooner or later.

“Okay class, try and get in some work today okay! I know you can do it” Miss Yukizome sung.

“Komaeda, can you get out of y/n’s seat, she should be coming in soon, hm?”

He didn’t even realise he was sitting in her seat, he was used to sitting at her desk with her, helping her with her work, playing with her hair and just enjoying the company of each other.

“No”, Nagito replied, fast and cold. It was strange for him to act this way, sure, he had a very valid excuse. Though it was unknown territory for the rest of the class.

“Oh no, has she still got that nasty flu? I hope you don’t catch it my dear boy”.

“No”, again, the same, the class had quieted down, he was usually so cheery, so full of hope and adoration for every single one of them.

“Well send my love to her, It’ll be great to see her again when I can” She smiled, completely oblivious.

“You can, the 18th, its an open casket’, Nagito grinned at her, a grin of something so far away from happiness, it reminded Yukizome of a clown, so creepy, yet so theoretically happy.

Everyones faces dropped

Nagito got up from the bathroom floor, this had happened weeks ago, but felt like minutes ago. He waited, and eventually, it stopped.

He walked back to class, the heels of his shoes tapping the hardwood floor of the hall leading up to his classroom. he entered solemnly, like he has every day since then.

Everyones faces dropped

Yet again.

Nagito knew what they were staring at, he didn’t want to address it, but he knew.

On his cheek grew a rose, sprouting at the top of his lip to the bottom of his cheekbone. For such a tragic disease, it was quite beautiful.

For such a tragic event, it felt so beautiful

God okay this was sad and a bit quick, I really did try to do a happy ending, though sometimes, for stories like this, I think it is a little to cliché, Stay safe everyone ! I hope you like this <3

[nctloveclub]

mamihlapinatapai

– pairing: mark lee x reader

– genre: angst!

– words: 2.25k

– a/n: its been a while since ive posted but i hope you like it :D i hope to get back into writing after putting it off for so long :(

(n.) a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something they both desire but which neither wants to begin

you and mark were best friends, but the two of you haven't known each other long

like usually best friends have known each other since their childhood but you and mark had met in your second year of high school !

it wasn't anything extraordinary just simple. he ended up coming to class late and he had picked the seat next to you.

it was strange at first because it was like ??? ummm who ??? my friend usually sits there ???? (but they were home sick that day oooooh)

so the next day mark sits in the same seat next to you and when you're friend walks in they give you a look and you just shrug

they give you a wink and just sit in the seat in front of you

then that's when mark actually starts talking to you

hes a little shy at first just introducing himself to you and you do the same

at lunch mark ends up finding you and sits across from you

not gonna lie the air is a little awkward but two of you take the lunch period to actually talk and get to know each other

you find out that you had actually went to the same middle school but just in different friend crowds

the conversation was just simple

that's a word that would describe yours' and mark's relationship: simple

he was a breath of fresh air

he was something new, someone who you got along with

over the course of the year, the two of you had actually gotten closer and mark had actually befriended your other friend

"sorry i took your seat...."

your friend just looks at him and laughs, "dude its fine it's just a seat. if anything im glad you helped my little y/n get out of their shell."

you send a playful glare at your friend's way and continue the conversation you had with mark

eventually, your third year of high school has begun and the both of you are extremely close, like no one can separate the two of you

youre sad when you find out mark and you only share the same lunch period, having the same classes but different periods

"it's alright, i'll see you at lunch." he smiles and you nod, mark walking you to your first period

you dread your first day, making small talk with the people around you but you don't mind, impatiently waiting till lunch starts

you and mark immediately meet up, looking for a place to sit in the crowded cafeteria

you sit in a somewhat secluded area, there are still tables surrounding you but it's mostly away from the crowd

the two of you catch up and talk about how your first day has been going

soon enough lunch ends and mark's walking you to your 6th period

the day comes to an end and mark is waiting for you at the front of school, waiting to walk you home

"you know you don't have to walk me, you literally live in the opposite direction." you say as the two of you begin your walk

"i know, i do it because i want to." he replies nonchalantly and for the first time you feel something in your stomach

you feel butterflies in your stomach when mark walks you to your doorstep and they intensify when he gives you a hug before leaving

you watch as mark walks in the direction of his home and cant but wonder what the hell you were feeling

the school year continues to go on and everyday feels like a routine

mark walks you to school and first period, the day goes on, you meet at lunch and he walks you home

but as everyday passes, you cant help but feel more butterflies creep in your stomach as you see mark or when he holds your hand

what you didnt know was that mark had felt the same way, he had started to feel nervous around you, that he couldn’t think straight around you, you made his heart race and his face heat up

he started to become more affectionate towards you, holding your hand more often and wrapping his arm around you casually and also occasionally giving you forehead kisses

mark was just the sweetest boy ever and you couldn't believe that he really was your best friend, he made you feel like you were in a movie, that you were a protagonist in a love novel

he made you feel like you were on clouds and that whenever you were with him you felt like home

it took time for you to fully realize that you had fallen in love with your best friend

mark had also started to pick up on the fact that you were constantly blushing around him and he made you nervous

he felt a weight lifted off his chest, that maybe you reciprocated the feelings he had for you* but as they say, all good things must come to an end eventually

mark had told you that he wanted to become an idol, that music was his passion and something he wanted to pursue

of course you were supportive of him, you wanted to give the whole world to him

you always gave him words of encouragement and praised him for his talent

"remember me when you're famous mark." you say to him one day

"come on y/n, i'll never forget you. besides who said im gonna be famous one day, what if i don't end up making it anywhere?"

your eyes gape at him. "'mark are you serious? of course you're gonna be famous. you're one if the most talented people i know. if anyone were to become famous it would be you, you deserve it. you've worked so hard to achieve your dreams and you're an amazing rapper.

dont ever undermine yourself mark. and if anything, i'll always be here for you. i'll always be here to support you"

mark almost starts crying at your words and he can see the look the in your eyes that meant you meant every word you said

he didn't know what he did in his past life to deserve you but he's glad that he was able to meet you that fateful day

so mark begins his own training, starting to write songs, practice singing and dancing to become an idol

he tells you at lunch one day that a kpop company was gonna be holding global auditions next week and that he's gonna try

you're obviously excited for him and tell him to not worry and that he's gonna make it, that the company would be an absolute fool to not recruit him

then next week comes and mark misses a day of because of auditions

you don't mind, sending him a quick message telling him good luck !!! you got this dude :D

_also you'll be fine stop worrying :_p

the next day mark is back at school and he's anxiously waiting for the company to contact him to see if he made it to the second round

you notice it and reassure him that he'll be fine

but he looks at you and you notice that there's also something else on his mind, you don't question him yet though. he doesn't seem in the right head space

"mark what's wrong?" you ask as mark walks you home

your hand is intertwined in his, and he’s looking down on the sidewalk,

he looks up at you, "what do you mean?"

"at lunch, you seemed pretty anxious about the audition, but something else seemed off about you."

"well yeah im nervous. i think im gonna make it though, the audition was fine." he tells you and your brows furrow

"then whats the problem?" you ask, your voice more quiet

"the company is based in korea. i mean you already knew that but still. if i make it to second and end up passing it, i'll be moving to korea to become an idol." mark explains and your heart stops for a bit

the realization has sunk in your head

all this time you've been encouraging mark and letting him live out his dream but you never realized that you were gonna end up losing him

you feel your eyes start to water and you look up at him, already looking back at you

"dont cry, please." he tells you softly, bringing you into a hug, "i dont want to lose you but i can't hold you back." you whisper into his chest

"but what about us?" he asks, his voice sad

that question was hung in the air, what was gonna happen to you and mark?

you had come to fact that you were in love with him but this was his dream

maybe you could be selfish once, to tell him to stay, to try and pursue a career here, at home

but that wouldn't be fair to mark, this was something he dreamed about, you wouldn't allow yourself be the reason he stayed home

"nothing is gonna happen to us, i'll still be here to support you, even if you're thousands of miles away, i'll always be here for you."

the rest of the walk to your house was quiet, mark having attached you to his side and he didnt seem to plan to let you go anytime soon

when you arrived at your house, mark held you into his arms and his eyes looked into yours

you noticed the gleam in them, full of sadness and longing

you felt your mind screaming at you, to make the first move, to show mark how much you love him before it's too late

but you couldn't bring yourself to do it, it'd be too selfish

mark felt the same emotional turmoil

he wanted to hold you in his arms and just spend the rest of his life with you

he could see the sadness in your eyes and he realized what he would truly be giving up to achieve his dreams

his mind wanted him to just confess his love there, to just cup your cheeks and press his lips to yours

as the two of you gazed into each others eyes, you both came to the realization that you were both feeling the same thing

but the two of you couldn't bring yourself to do it, and with that you separated

mark had finally let go of your waist and you both moved away

you walk into your home and mark went to his

the next day mark tells you he made it to the second round and you give him a smile

a smile mark can see right through

he knows how heartbroken you feel and the pain you feel

he just wished he wasnt the cause of it

the school year is coming to an end and you'll become a senior

mark had ended up passing the second audition and he and his family would be moving to korea

the day he told you, you broke into tears

tears of joy and happiness but also of pain

you were beyond ecstatic for him, he was finally gonna achieve his dream of becoming an idol

but he was leaving, and you wouldnt know if he was ever gonna come back

the school year ends and mark tells you that he'll be moving to korea next week, where he'll be training and starting his senior year

you dread the next couple days

you and mark are inseparable, spending all the time you can before he goes

time goes by quick, one minute the two of you are having a movie night in your living room and the next you're saying your goodbyes at the airport

"i'm sorry y/n" mark tells you

"for what"

"for leaving."

"hey don't be sorry for that, you're pursuing something thats gonna make you happy and that's all i ever want from you, for you to be happy." you say, tears falling from your eyes

mark starts to cry at your words, his thumbs moving to wipe away your tears, which actually make them fall harder

he brings you into a hug and you look up at him and stare into his eyes one last time

the eyes that always made you happy, the eyes that always looked at you in adoration,

the eyes that always made you feel at home

the two can feel the longing the other holds, but you both can't bring yourself to do it

as the two of you continue to hug until mark has to leave you whisper the three words you've yearned to tell him

"i love you." you say, looking right into his eyes

"i love you too."

you hear mark's parents call for him, telling him that they have to board soon

the two of you finally separate and you're full on crying

mark begins to walk off before turning around and giving you one last smile, one you return through your tears

you watch as mark board and you wait and watch as his plane leaves, officially separating you from the boy you love

mark looks out the plane window, watching as the airport begins to get smaller and smaller

he lets out a sigh and feels his heart ache

you take out your phone and text mark, knowing he'll see it when he lands

i love you, dont forget me when you're famous ;)

"oh how could i ever forget you"

[lov3nerdstuff]

There's always tomorrow

* Tom Hiddleston x reader * -> friendship/platonic

Parts: Oneshot

Words: 6.6k

Warnings: Tom’s a teacher and you’re a student, but you’re just friends!

Summary: You are a brilliant student, in your last year of high school, but you don't have any friends but your books. Thus you secretly spend your lunch breaks alone in a forbidden hallway, until one certain teacher takes notice of you. Yet he doesn't kick you out and instead sits down with you to talk. Soon you find that sometimes, the most unlikely friendships are the best ones indeed.

Request: Hi! I dont want to be a bother but i have a fic idea I would love to see your take on since your such an amazing writer. Here's the idea: tom works as a teacher in high school and R is this shy and introverted student who doesn't have many friends and she always sits alone and reads at lunch so tom decides to sit with her and they developed some kind of friendship? Just platonic since I imagine the R underage but I would love whatever you decide💜💙💚 -> @lady-of-lies (hope you like this, dear 💗✨)

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It was Friday. Thanks goodness that at least this purgatory of a week was slowly coming to an end. It wasn't like you didn't enjoy going to school, really… You loved learning, loved the pleasures of knowledge with a burning passion. And that exactly was the problem. You loved learning, while almost everyone else in your grade just thought of school as a menace that would finally be over in a few months. They deemed you weird, for studying hard, for getting good grades, for enjoying it.

To you, the only two problems in high school were, one, that you had absolutely no friend and thus spent most time by yourself, and two, that they didn't nearly teach you enough and thus left you bored and done with your tasks after five minutes of class.

In perspective, the second problem bothered you way more than the first one. Not having friends was fine, you weren't the boldest person anyway, finding yourself uncomfortable in social situations more often than not. Thus you were left only talking to your classmates when you really had to, finding no interest in those dull creatures outside of the occasional mandatory group project. They were all about partying, gossiping, who had been sleeping with whom… You found no remote interest in that. There were more important things to talk about, more meaningful conversations to be had, and as long as no one was able to give you just that you were fine not talking at all.

So on this Friday noon, just like every day since you had started going to this school last year, you found yourself sitting on the ground in a small hallway at lunchtime, equipped with a book and a sandwich and an apple you'd brought from home. Sure, you could've just taken a seat in the cafeteria… your life wasn't a movie, there were no bullies and cheerleaders, no inseparable groups of friends who excluded everyone, no real need to sit alone on the ground.

But you cherished this time of solitude, of being in the solemn company of the only sane person in this building: yourself. That is also why you had chosen the most desolate part of the entire school to have your lunch by yourself. Usually no one showed up here, in the backstage area of the large auditorium that was occasionally used for the drama and literature classes.

Really, most students didn't even seem to know that this part of school existed in the first place. It was a tiny world in itself, only a couple hallways with storage rooms and workshops and such. Only accessible through a small door in the back of the auditorium, which to be honest you weren't supposed to go into by yourself. But for the one year you'd been going to this school, you had not run into anyone at all while coming here every single day at lunch.

Smiling contently to yourself, you took a bite of your sandwich and allowed yourself a break from existence by letting your book swallow you into its comforting world of imagination.

You were granted exactly thirty minutes of silence and solitude before gente yet swift footsteps drew your mind back to the real world, immediately instilling a sense of panic in your mind. The automatic lights flickered to life once the cause of the noise walked into your part of the hallway and your eyes narrowed at the sudden brightness. Oh no… being caught here would only mean trouble, and you seriously weren't in the mood for that, not when you had only a few more classes left. Yet, panic and fear made you unable to move, working against the natural instinct of flight. All you could do was watch the approaching figure with wide eyes, fingers tightly gripping onto the book in your lap.

"You're not supposed to be in here, are you?" A smooth voice spoke to you, finally making you snap out of your frozen stare. The man currently standing in front of you didn't look like a teacher at all… but you'd seen him in the hallways between classes a few times. You didn't know his name, nor what he taught.

"I…" You started, wide eyes fixed on his as you felt incredibly small. He was tall, REALLY tall, intimidating since you were cowering on the ground, staring up at him like he was some ethereal creature, a manifestation of universal goodness. And he was smiling at you kindly with a subtle hint of amusement.

"You…?" He spoke again, and his curls seemed to form a halo of light around his head as they glowed in the brightness of the overhead lamps.

"I'm not supposed to be in here." You simply said.

"And yet you are." He chuckled, frowning at you a little. "How did you even get in here?"

"There's a door. One can walk through it." You blurted out without thinking, confusion and panic making your mind dizzy.

The man in front of you let out an obviously unintentional snort, before biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing and continue to look somewhat stern at you. It wasn't working all too well. "Thank you for the information, I was well aware of the door indeed. What I was wondering about was what made you walk through that door today."

"Habit?" You tried, still not averting your eyes from his as you felt utterly unable to rise to your feet.

"And before you made a habit of coming here?"

"An inherently curious nature?" You replied in the same uncertain voice.

The man just smiled down at you in the most amused expression you had seen all week, crossing his arms in front of his chest as if debating with himself what to do or ask next.

"How long have you been coming here?" He finally asked, more curious than scolding really.

"A little over a year." You admitted, blushing a deep shade of crimson as you looked back down to the book in your lap. Darn, you really couldn't have told him that. But you found it somehow impossible to lie to him, even if you didn't yet know who he was.

"And you've never run into anyone telling you that it's not allowed for students to be back here?" He frowned, moving to lean against the wall opposite to you and that at least made him seem a little less towering, but no less ethereal.

"I've never run into anyone back here at all." You shrugged, feeling a little less panicked now that there were a few feet between you. "That's the point of me being here in the first place."

"To hide?"

"To find solitude in this chaotic place of inevitable social and intellectual boredom." You replied quickly, once more before thinking. Yet once you realized what you'd just said you started apologizing immediately. "Sorry! I… I didn't mean… It's just..."

"No, it's fine. I think I know what you mean." He mused, shrugging. "Most students don't take interest in their classes, at least not in high school."

"See, that's not what I meant at all." You sighed, frowning to yourself. Should you really be having this conversation with a teacher? You were probably boring his mind out, but he'd asked after all and as long as he wasn't making you return to the busy school hallways you'd be good talking to him here.

So you crossed your legs beneath yourself and placed your book on your backpack. "I find great interest in most of my classes' topics. I love delving into the gain of knowledge, broadening my horizon in a way. In any way, really. But you see, most classes have a rather shallow approach to their contents. I do see that it's not entirely possible to make the classes any more in-depth, as most people will struggle to even understand the basic concepts… But if the students are expected to understand and accept that classes are made for the majority of people, not for the marginal groups, I also expected the teachers to understand that I will feel bored after having understood the lessons' content after two minutes, if I didn't know it even before class time started in the first place."

Once you were finished with your little rant, the man looked at you in sincere surprise for a moment, but you were honestly so surprised with yourself that you found yourself blushing all the more, and looking back down to the ground. "Sorry, I really shouldn't have said that…"

"Don't apologise for having an opinion." He replied calmly, encouragingly almost. "You have every right to say what you think, especially since I asked about it. I'm just a little surprised, that is all."

You peaked back up at him carefully, doubtful of what he must be thinking of you now. Honestly, you weren't someone to ever talk to a teacher this rudely. You would think to yourself how ridiculous the mistakes were that they were making most of the time, but you would keep it solemnly to yourself.

"So you're coming here to read during the lunch break?" He asked after a moment of silence, drawing you back from your troubled thoughts.

"Yeah." You replied softly, finding it oddly easy and pleasant to talk to him.

"Shouldn't you be sitting in the cafeteria with your friends? Spending a little time with your classmates away from studying?" He inquired further and you found yourself inclined to answer.

"No, I'm fairly good on my own. I can't really find any interest in their conversations and I'd rather spend my energy reading than pretending to care. And I'm not studying, just reading for fun." You gave him a half smile, watching how he casually leaned against the wall with a curious expression.

"You're reading Hamlet for fun?" He rose an eyebrow at you in amusement. "Not that I'd be judging…"

"Yes...?" You gave back reluctantly. "Isn't that something normal people do? Consuming literature for the sake of entertainment?"

"They do, but I'm afraid most people wouldn't deem Shakespeare very entertaining." He laughed, shaking his head to himself and you blushed again, looking at your book and then at your feet, which felt increasingly numb from being crossed for too long.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He said quickly, without the previous amusement. "I love Shakespeare too, his works are truly remarkable. The way he revolutionized the use of language…"

"I know! I love all the small neologisms that we don't even notice today because our modern words are based on them. Reading his works is so much fun in its entirety, both for the content and the art of wording itself!" You said excitedly, yet again feeling your cheeks heat up at the rather passionate outburst. "Sorry, that was just me geeking out a little…"

He smiled widely at that, then frowned a little. "Why aren't you taking literature classes?"

"How do you know I don't?" You asked right back.

"Because I teach them all." He laughed, still trying to keep from smiling all too brightly. "I would know if you were in any of my classes. I teach literature, English and drama, even though most people don't believe those are separate classes."

"Oh, so that's why I don't know you…" You mused, chewing on your bottom lip. "I switched schools before the beginning of last year, so I've only been here a year and the little bit of this started one… But I won't be here for much longer."

"Why not?"

"It's my last year." You smiled with a sigh. "I'm looking forward to a challenge, for once, when I go to college."

"And that keeps you from taking my literature class?" He asked with a small smile.

"Of course not…" You shook your head, blushing yet again. The reason why you hadn't taken literature indeed wasn't really something you wanted to share with him.

"Anyway, I'm Mr. Hiddleston. Since we've not had the pleasure before..." He said lightly, obviously noticing your discomfort with the previous question and you were beyond thankful that he'd let it go.

"I'm Y/n." You gave him a small smile in return. "Nice to meet you. I think I've actually heard about you before."

"You have?" He laughed, eyes bright and curious and you felt yourself blushing yet again. Couldn't you keep your stupid mouth shut?

"Uuh, I've just overhead a few classmates talking about your English class, I think…" You finally managed to say, and given that it was the truth you felt a little less embarrassed.

"Well, I hope you've only heard good things then." He smiled and for a moment you looked at each other in complete uncertainty of what to say. "Lunch break is almost over…" He finally commented, looking at his watch with a frown.

"Too bad." You sighed, packing up your empty lunchbox and your book. "Lunch is my favorite subject. It's usually more productive than any of my classes."

He laughed at that, shaking his head to himself as he stood upright once again. "I'm sorry for interrupting your reading time with my questions."

"Please don't be, I enjoyed talking to you. It was nice not being alone for once. Which admittedly is a rare thing for me." Your mouth was faster than your brain again, and you felt flustered but frowned a little nonetheless as you rose to your feet. "I mean… wouldn't you have kicked me out anyway? I mean students aren't allowed to be in here."

"Students aren't allowed to be in here ALONE. You weren't alone. I was here. Don't see a problem." He smiled easily as you both sauntered towards the exit and through the auditorium. Why was he being so nice to you? Usually teachers didn't miss any opportunity to demonstrate their power over the students, leave alone talk to them if they didn't have to… Mr. Hiddleston was different. A good different, you thought.

"Y/n…" He said as you both stepped back into the main hallway. "I must inform you that you may not go back in there by yourself, and so on and so forth. Do you understand?"

"I do understand, but I cannot promise you that I will listen to it." You said sincerely, surprised yet again at your honesty. What by all gods were you even doing here, talking to a teacher like that?

He suppressed another grin, looking at the ground for a short moment before his eyes were back with yours. "Have a lovely weekend. I'll see you on Monday." With one last amused smile he turned around and sauntered down the hallway, probably heading to his next class while you were left frowning to yourself as you went on to yours. Only in the middle of class your mind suddenly hit the pause button for the outside world: why would he see you on Monday?

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The weekend went by in a blur, you finished Hamlet and another random book and sooner than expected it was Monday morning. But really… Monday always came sooner than expected. Equipped with a new read you went on to school, suffering through the first few classes. If only they would at least try to make things interesting… you'd asked for some further tasks once you'd been done early yet again, but the answer was always the same: be happy that you're done and stay at your seat in silence. No reading, no phone, no drawing… nothing but sitting and staring out of the window.

However during the last class before lunch, you honestly wished yourself back to staring out of the window. It was history, a subject you actually did find interest in as it served as a good basis for many other things (like literature, music, arts, sociology��). Unfortunately today it was time for yet another group project, making you feel sick almost immediately. You just hated group projects… they always ended up the same: you had to do all the work by yourself and the others got credit for it. And that already was the best outcome of all possible scenarios.

Again, it was the same old. People had formed groups already, and as always no one wanted to work with you (stupid of them, you thought… they weren't even smart enough to see that you could, and would, help them to a better grade). But unlike the other times, your teacher was having enough of your suggestion to just work by yourself and forced you upon a group of three people, who all seemed to despise the idea just as much as you did. Once class was over, you quickly packed up your things and made for the door as quickly as possible. Unfortunately you didn't get all too far before the voices of your new group members reached your ears, bearing the usual insults and complaints which could be accurately summed up as 'Fuck off Y/n'.

God, why did people have to be so cruel… You hadn't done anything at all but getting good grades without much effort. How was that supposed to be your fault? It wasn't like you had chosen to be this way really…

Feeling equally sad and angry you made your way towards the auditorium, crossing it with quick steps and walking through the backdoor into your own realm of solitude. With a long sigh you carelessly dropped your backpack on the floor and sat down next to it, hugging your knees to your chest. You didn't want to cry, really… only sulk in peace. And sulking you did, for exactly thirty minutes until you heard the now familiar footsteps approaching you.

"I know, I'm not supposed to be here." You groaned, hiding your face as you rested your forehead on your knees. "Just tell me to go and we'll get it over with."

"Why would I tell you to go?" Mr. Hiddleston's calm voice wrapped around your troubled mind like a liquid soothing cold applied to a scorching burn.

"Because it's what teachers do." You sighed to yourself, still not looking at him. "You make life insufferable as a hobby."

"Now, I think you're doing me injustice." He spoke with a smile that you could clearly hear in his voice. "I didn't come here to make you leave."

Now you finally lifted your head and looked at the man standing on the opposite wall. As your eyes met his, he offered you a kind smile. "May I?" He motioning to the space on the ground opposite to you.

You nodded. Whatever reason he had to spend his precious lunch time with you, you were honestly glad for some NICE company for once. Really, you didn't even know him all that well, he was still a teacher after all, but his presence was calming and he was interesting enough of a person to talk to. You couldn't predict a single thing he did or said, and that intrigued you. He seemed like a man with a brain.

"I'm sorry." You finally said, resting your chin on your knees and blushing ever so slightly as your mind allowed other emotions than sadness and anger. "I insulted your profession, that wasn't right. Being mad at individuals doesn't justify generalization, nor impoliteness."

"Very true indeed. And I accept your apology, we all have a bad day sometimes. Also, I unintentionally insulted you on Friday, so I think we're even now." He replied in the same calm his features showed as he rested his forearms on his propped up knees.

"You insulted me?" You frowned, voice small and reflecting your tiredness. "I hadn't noticed."

"I assumed you were an average student. Lazy, shallow, indifferent." He shrugged and your lips formed the tiniest of smiles. "We all have prejudices, Y/n… Classification is natural thing. However what defines us as a person is how we let those prejudices affect our behavior and how aware we are of having them in the first place."

You sighed, nodding in agreement. "You're right… I still didn't mean to behave so hostile."

"Defense and coping mechanisms." He replied with a half smile. "You were clearly hurt by something or someone and thus lashed out at the weakest subject in reach, in this case... me. It's not rocket science really… I understand. We're all good."

You couldn't help but frown at the man in front of you. He was smarter than any of your other teachers and it left you wondering why someone like him would be sitting on the floor with a student. Yet, questioning him would've been just rude and thus you decided on finding out when the time had come.

"What's gotten you so upset, if I may ask?" He inquired politely, leaning his head against the wall as he watched you curiously.

"You know Miss Jones, right?" You sighed, mirroring his sitting position more or less intentionally. "She forced me to work on a project with people who absolutely despise me to their very core."

"I can hardly believe that someone would actually despise you." He replied, frowning a little. "You seem like a very capable young woman, I would have assumed people wanting to work with you were piling up on your doorstep."

You smiled sadly, somewhat flattered by the subtle compliment. "Well, then you assumed wrong. To me at least 'go work alone if you're so smart' doesn't really sound like people want to work with me. Neither does the ever so charming 'fuck off nerd'..."

"People really say that to you?" He frowned deeply, an almost sad expression making his sharp jawline stand out even more.

"All the time, actually…" You sighed, playing with the loose strings of your ripped jeans. "It's not that bad really. They can't hurt me anymore. I'm only so upset because I would have preferred to work alone."

"And Miss Jones wouldn't let you?"

"No… She said it was an important part of my education to learn to work with other people. Which is just ironic if you ask me…"

"Why is it ironic?" He asked curiously, obviously interested in your thoughts for real and not just out of politeness. That actually felt nice… not even your parents were SERIOUSLY interested in your opinion on things.

"It's ironic because I enjoy working with people, I'm good at it even. But I refuse to believe that working with people who put in zero effort and who don't own a single shred of basic human decency is 'preparing me for a realistic work environment'." You snorted, shaking your head at the stupid remark your teacher had given you. "I expect my equals to meet me with respect when working, even if we don't get along personally. Or at least to care about the project."

"I think you're right to do so." He shrugged. "I mean as a teacher I'm supposed to tell you now how valuable this experience is, and how you should try to work through your differences with your group, or even motivate you to find friends and such, but honestly… I totally agree with you. They're indifferent idiots, likely to maybe get a minor degree and eventually end up as chess pieces to brilliant minds like yours."

You rose an eyebrow at his comment, unable to keep the small smirk off your lips. "Well, that was honest."

He returned a slightly flustered smile, shrugging yet again. "You were honest with me and I intend to return the favor. I'm not your teacher after all, only A teacher."

"True." You smiled back. "And since the school year is already a few weeks in, it's safe to say that you won't ever be."

"I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing…" He mused, frowning to himself in contemplation. "I think I would've enjoyed hearing your thoughts and opinions in class."

"I would say it's a very good thing indeed!" You replied immediately. "The confinements of a classroom, of a predetermined social structure are rather counterproductive for a valuable conversation. I don't think we could, or would be talking like this if I was in your classes indeed. And you can always hear my thoughts and opinions… You do right now, after all."

"Okay, you convinced me. It is a good thing we met like this. Even though you probably don't enjoy me intruding the solitude of your lunch break." He chuckled, stretching out his incredibly long legs across the hallway to sit more comfortably.

"Oh, I don't mind at all! I mean I don't understand why you would willingly spend your time with me back here, but I most certainly appreciate the company. Most people don't really bother talking to me… it's nice having some who understands what I'm saying for once." You smiled, feeling both flustered and flattered. Having him here with you was nice indeed… it made you feel less lonely, less like you were the only one of your kind.

"Honestly, I thought I was here because I couldn't let you be back here alone, because of the rules. But I reconsidered that, and now I assume I'm here simply because I don't want you to be alone, to feel alone. And I find myself enjoying your company." He smiled calmly, and you were honestly surprised that you didn't feel flustered. Only… happy.

"I enjoy your company too..." You gave him another half smile, your voice quiet but certain.

"Whew, what a relief!" He laughed, smiling at you in sincere amusement, maybe even a little irony. "Even though I disturbed your reading time?"

"Yeah… you cheered me up, after all." You chuckled too, finding that you relaxed more and more in the time you spent with him.

"Good." He said contently. "Not feeling sad about the group project and your classmates anymore?"

"Nope. Only annoyed, honestly… I don't want them to ruin my good grade." You shrugged, pausing for a second before you spoke on. "That must sound really arrogant of me to say… I'm sorry."

"It's not arrogant at all. I understand you, more than you realize probably. I used to be like that in school too, you know… It's not easy. And I can't promise you anything, but for me at least things got better in college." His voice was so encouraging and kind that you found yourself feeling surprisingly calm, content even.

"Thank you." You smiled, openly and honestly. "For being here, and talking to me… For everything, I guess."

"You're always welcome." He smiled back, sighing. Only when he looked at his watch, his eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise. "Fuck… class time started ten minutes ago!"

"Oh no…" You groaned in as little despair as possible. "I'm so sorry!"

"Nonsense, you don't have to be sorry!" He replied as you both hurriedly rose to your feet and made for the exit. "Time flies when you're having fun..."

"I hope Mr. Peterson doesn't kill me for being late…" You mused as you stepped into the hallway.

"Math or physics?" He asked with the ever present curiosity that by now reminded you so much of your own that you couldn't help but smile.

"Math." You sighed. "I hate being late, even though I know most of the things we're talking about already."

"I'm gonna show you to your class."

"You really don't have to, I mean I'm sure you have a class to attend to yourself…"

"Nah, it's alright. I'll be in less trouble than you, so the least I can do now is apologizing to Mr. Peterson for causing you to be late."

With that you both quickly made your way to your classroom, your skin prickling in both anxiety and excitement. And indeed, as you opened the door and quickly made for your seat with a deep crimson on your cheeks, you saw Mr. Hiddleston moving to say a few quiet words to your maths teacher before turning back around to leave, giving you a very subtle thumbs up and a small smile before disappearing out of the door.

_______________

For the remainder of the week and also the next two, Mr. Hiddleston would come by for the last ten minutes of your lunch break, sitting down with you in the hallway of your secret backstage world. You'd talk about your classes, his classes, the books you were reading… all kinds of things really, and you found yourself enjoying those conversations immensely. He was such an interesting person, a bright and brilliant mind full of ideas and fascinating thoughts, and somehow he seemed to see something similar in you.

However after three weeks of coming by only for the last bit of your break, something started to change. Every day, he would come a little earlier while you were actually waiting for him from the very first moment. Somehow this lunch break ritual had become your solemn reason to look forward to every new day, and you couldn't really bring yourself to mind it at all.

Eventually, after a while of him showing up earlier and earlier, he arrived mere minutes after you did and you spent the entire break talking about absolutely everything that came to your minds. Maybe it was due to your meeting space, or maybe due to whatever else, but somehow both of you seemed to grow increasingly fond of each other while growing increasingly less aware of the fact that you were still teacher and student. But it didn't matter, as long as you were just two people enjoying talking to each other. Some days you would be talking the entire time, some days he would bring a book and you'd both read together in comfortable silence, sitting across from each other in the hallway.

You talked about literature quite a lot, and about philosophy and society… each conversation as meaningful and yet as entertaining and light as you could only wish for.

Things were going really well, and by the time the Christmas break rolled around, you were certain that you had finally found one true friend in school, and in general. Even if he was a teacher and probably about twenty years older than you, but you honestly couldn't bring yourself to care.

On Wednesday night before the Christmas break, you finally decided that you would at least try to make a small attempt at showing him how much you appreciated your time together, how much you'd grown to value your friendship (even though you found yourself wondering if HE would consider you a friend in return). You wanted to give him a Christmas present. Nothing extraordinary, or special… only something he would appreciate.

What did he enjoy most? Literature, most definitely. Discussions, thoughts, emotions... You'd grown to know him quite well by now, to know some of the depths of his mind. But you also knew that he already owned probably every single piece of literature you could offer him. Maybe… no, that probably was just silly, wasn't it? But really… was it? The idea definitely stayed with you, and on Thursday morning you just followed instinct and went along with it.

When you dropped down in your hallway, placing your backpack next to you, you could already hear the door being opened and the same familiar footsteps approaching.

"Hey Y/n..." He greeted you with a smile, walking down the short hallway towards you. "How was art class?"

"Gosh, I think that the teacher forgets sometimes that we're adults too. She made us craft Christmas cards for our families… Maybe someone should tell her that in modern times, families expect good grades and perfect college applications for Christmas." You snorted, watching how he sat down in his usual place opposite from you with a small grin.

"I don't think your family has anything to worry about." He chuckled, looking at you with a sparkle in his eyes that didn't cease to amaze you.

"Yeah, I have my application written already." You chuckled, smirking at him in amusement.

"You never told me where you want to apply…"

"Cambridge." You shrugged, smiling. "It's one of the best universities in the world. Really hard to get into."

"I'm sure you will get in with ease." He sighed. "If they spend a single minute talking to you, they will know just how extraordinary you are. Brilliant, really."

"You flatter me way too much." You chuckled, shaking your head. "Anyway…" With that you opened your backpack and pulled out a medium sized box, opening the lid with a grin to reveal a bright bunch of baked goods. "I made cookies yesterday afternoon!"

"Those look really tasty." He smiled. "What would Christmas be without some biscuits?"

"These are cookies! That's different." You laughed, knowing full well that he knew the difference indeed. He enjoyed teasing you way too much, but honestly… you enjoyed it too. "Come here now and try one, at least!"

His eyes widened a tiny bit, and he looked rather reluctant for a short moment, before pointing to the space next to you on the ground with a small gesture. "You… Uh, may I?"

"Of course." You replied calmly, with a bright smile, and a moment later he was sitting next to you, looking the tiniest bit flustered but content.

"I didn't know if it would make you uncomfortable to sit next to me." He shrugged a little, taking one of the cookies out of the box you were holding out to him.

"I'm not uncomfortable at all! I actually…" You felt your cheeks heat up for the first time in weeks while talking to him, and it made you stop in your sentence.

"You what?" He asked calmly, encouragingly and with the kindest expression as he leaned his head against the wall behind you, looking at you in curiosity.

"I consider you my friend." You finally brought out, feeling a little more embarrassed than you would've liked. Maybe he would think you're silly now, but just like you had noticed on the very first day… you couldn't lie to him.

"And that's making you blush?" He inquired in amusement.

"Well, I feel a little silly for expecting you, for wishing for you to befriend me too." You shrugged. "I'm sure you have more interesting acquaintances than me."

"I consider you to be my friend, Y/n…" He replied calmly. "I wouldn't be sitting here with you every day if I didn't."

You inevitably had to smile at that, looking down at the cookies in your lap. "Having a friend is amazing… Even if our friendship is a little…"

"Unusual?"

"Unlikely." You chuckled. "But no less real."

"Well… cheers to true words." He laughed, picking up another cookie from the box and happily munching away on it.

Slowly the box with the cookies grew emptier as the lunch break progressed, both of you talking about your plans for the Christmas holidays. Only when it was time for both of you to go back to your classes, when he moved to rise to his feet, you stopped him.

"Wait a second, I… I have something for you. A Christmas present, of sorts." You smiled, putting the empty cookie box into your backpack and instead taking out a neatly wrapped present. "It's really nothing special, but I thought you might find some joy in it."

His eyes lit up ever so slightly as he took the small gift out of your hands, gently, looking down at it with a soft smile. "I… thank you. Would you prefer me to open it now or on Christmas?"

"Oh, I really don't mind whatever you choose. You can just go ahead and open it, really… Like I said, it's nothing special."

"It is special to me, just because it is a gift from you." He gave you a sincere, wider smile before looking back at the present in his lap. "I'll open it now."

Carefully he unwrapped it and his smile broadened even more as his eyes fell upon the book in his hands.

"I know, giving a book to a literature teacher isn't the most creative idea, and I'm most certain that you have read it already, as it's truly amazing, but… literature just is what you love most. And you always seemed to enjoy my thoughts and ideas and random snippets of information." You spoke before he could. "So… I'm giving you my own copy of High-Rise, as it's one of my absolute favorites. I annotated it, put some papers and sticky notes in between the pages… with every thought and idea I had, every connection I could draw and every oh so little snippet of my thoughts."

The way he smiled at you then reminded you of the first day you had met… he was this ethereal creature, a being made of bright light and warmth. And more intelligence than healthy, probably.

"It's one of my all time favorites too." He replied quietly, yet with so much adoration and happiness that you couldn't help but grin. "This is one of the most amazing presents anyone has ever given to me and I cannot thank you enough."

"You're very welcome." You replied happily. "I hope you enjoy my thoughts."

"I know I will." He turned to you, smiling. "But unfortunately, very unfortunately, we have to go to class now."

"There's always tomorrow." You smiled as both of you rose to your feet, making your way to class indeed.

When you sat down in your hallway on Friday noon, you honestly felt sad that this would be the last day for two weeks you got to talk to Mr. Hiddleston. Not only because he was your (only) friend, but also because he, and your conversations, really were the only things that were able to keep your mind entertained and busy. You'd miss him.

Yet once he showed up and you got talking, you quickly felt a lot better. Just like you always did. Finally, shortly before classes started and you would have to say goodbye to each other, he placed a small and neatly wrapped gift in your lap with a bright smile. “I thought I’d return the favor… Your present really did make me very happy and I dearly hope this will do the same for you.”

Your eyes widened a little and your slips formed a smile on their own account. "Thank you so much! That's very sweet of you, but you really didn't have to…"

"Oh, I wanted to give this to you anyway. I had planned it for a while now, but your present yesterday… made me reconsider yet again." He grinned. "Do open it, please."

With an excited smile you unwrapped your present, also finding a book, but one you hadn't read yet. That alone made you grin; of course he would give you a book too… You loved literature after all probably just as much as he did.

"This is another one of my favorites…" He smiled, sitting next to you once more. Even without the cookies, somehow you'd just sat down next to each other today without questioning it. "The Night Manager… It's a fascinating read, John le Carré has an amazing style of writing. Have you read it?"

"I actually haven't, no… but I will after Christmas break!" You smirked.

"I planned on giving you this book just like that, but I absolutely loved your idea… So here's my own, annotated version." He smiled brightly. "I've had it since college."

You flipped open the first page, careful not to lose any of the papers tugged into the book. Then you smiled so bright that no Christmas lights could have compared to you. On the first page it read 'To Y/n, in hopes that we will continue to have these conversations in person for many years to come. Your friend, Tom.'

______________________________

General tag list:

@its-remy-not-ratatouille @wegingerangelica @thidls12333 @tomstoobeautiful @dreary-skies-stuff @averyhill4445 @wiczer @lotus-eyedindiangoddess @theweirdlunatic @caretheunicorn @kthemarsian @lady-of-lies @sadly-falling-through-wonderland @strawberrysandcream @noplacelikehome77 @beenthroughalot

If you'd like to be added to the general tag list, let me know in the comments 💗✨💚 hope you guys enjoy this!

[literalbuzzkill]

Below I'm gonna vent so y'all can ignore that XD

I'm basically making this post as a timestamp/reminder for myself about Covid2020 and what I had to deal with during it (even though it's still a relentlessly ongoing problem, as of Jan2021, yikes)

Below is my personal experience in switching from working everyday as an essential retail worker to now a stay at home unemployed/leave of absense person. Don't feel bad about not reading it, it's long, boring, and I can't really expect anyone to actually be interested because the struggle is real and who wants to be reminded of the grim reality we can't currently escape? XD

[The Start:]

I was still working retail up until a few months ago because most people left. And being short staffed already before covid at my store, things became an even worse unmanageable nightmare because they started to work the remaining staff to death because no one really knew what to do which sucked and everyone was rightfully afraid of what was happening all around them, plus everyone internally was hoping that this would all blow over in a decent amount of time and we could all return to normal and never speak of it again. Considering Covid started around late January/early February in 2019 and today's date (for my future reference) is Jan 4th 2021, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it certainly has not blown over in a decent amount of time like originally hoped for. Oof.

I was a closer but because of covid my job turned into 'every position at the store and everything/anything that you can possibly get done'. All the stuff from morning team, mid shift, and nightshift rolled into one. Cashiering, phone calls, cleaning, ship from store, backroom, covering multiple breaks, and every department on hardlines salesfloor,

(I did everything except for guest services, food service, clothing, and hr)

you name it XD because most people abandoned ship and Yeeted (which I dont blame them for, t'was a big mood) our store did not hire replacements until literally a few months ago. After I left. Nice.

We were not getting paid any extra, having to stay late, running around with an unending unfinishable list, having to deal with rude customers and cranky bosses, full 8+hour shifts having to wear a mask (even in the break room, and sometimes missing breaks all together because of the large work load) Another problem, my job did not supply masks, proper cleaning supplies, gloves etc to us until an unacceptable amount of time had passed since the start of the virus. Now I didn't expect them to be stocked and fully prepared immediately, obviously.

It was also pretty frustrating getting reprimanded by customers when supplies were low everywhere and some things necessary for existing safely could not be bought anywhere due to high demand, which was only natural, but some people actually acted like it was our personal fault for the store for being sold out of things like hand sanitizer, masks, gloves, toilet paper, and even accused us for holding it in the back for ourselves (which wasnt the case, customers are top priority at our store so the workers usually got nothing to take home or buy, even if we had pulled it from the truck or stocked it ourselves.)

Aside from the excessive draining from normal retail where we already suffer from Karen's and the often unpleasant general public, the Rona made the daily grind even more intense, as if we already thought it couldn't get any worse.

Straying away from that for a second, personal lives were now also affected greatly. Added on top of this new fear/caution/lifestyle was not being able to see my fiance or his family for months because they are all at very high risk. (Unfortunately I am too, but I really needed the paycheck so I thought I had to keep working until the inevitable, which was not looked forward to, but as long as I was potentially exposed with my job we all had to be apart unless I decided to quit and risk not having enough money to pay my bills or survive.)

(Side note for context: My fiance and I have been very lucky enough to see eachother almost every day for 4 years. Surprisingly we have not gotten sick of eachother yet and kept up with that regularity. And though we are engaged, we dont live together, but we do only live 15 minutes away so we just drive over to eachother everyday. Anyway, point being that going months without seeing him at all killed me internally hardcore. This was before zoom was popular and we were not about to resort to Skype. His parents are older and closer to me than my own family and were not comfortable with any form of in-person visits so we usually just did phone calls.)

And eventually I gave up,

I made it halfway through this pandemic working everyday, not seeing the only people I considered family, and I couldn't do it anymore. It literally didn't feel human.

Not to mention this did not help whatsoever with my pre-existing problems, bad depression, anxiety, ptsd, Self h, etc... it was all just getting way too out of hand with more stress piling up daily and taking too big a toll on me to the point where I couldn't deal with my regular lifestyle anymore. I needed a break and a change to severely turn myself around.

So a few months ago I finally went on leave of absence and it was the hardest thing for me to do but honestly the best thing I did. Because everything was so uncertain and I worried about how helpful unemployment would be towards my bills, if I'd lose my job for being gone too long due to an open ended leave of absense for the sake of my health/safety, and honestly I loved my job and my coworkers, but many of them had already left so at that point it became easier for me to leave.

I'm currently making more on unemployment than my job was paying my bi-weekly and doing leagues better mentally, emotionally, and physically, than before when I thought I could last the whole time working through covid hoping I wouldn't catch it and probably die because my health is not 100% gucci in the first place. I was too stubborn to quit until I got to a breaking point and then realised that putting my health/life on the line when I'm at risk during a pandemic for literally no reason other than feeling bad for my one really kind boss (who ended up leaving for a better job anyway right after I left)

in my brain the whole time I figured "eh if I die then I die" but there was a major upside to saying "you know what, fuck this" and leaving.

I've gotten to take up hobbies and do things that I've wanted to do for like 10 years, I improved my financial situation, bought my dream car(A 2004Crossfire), got engaged to the love of my life, had more time to read, write, learn, create, help my fiance record his first official music video, support smaller businesses, get back in better physical health, regain stability, and a new respect for life, health, friends, family, acts of kindness, and how easy things used to be before covid and how it was unintentionally taken for granted.

Not gonna lie, at first I was pretty mad that people on unemployment made more than essential workers, but I also knew that it wasn't their fault for their personal situations or reasonings for needing it. The problem was mainly that many Companies/jobs could have done more, treated essential workers better, given more help, compensated financially, offered forms of protectionagaint the virus, or done literally anything extra at all to help employees who were struggling or who stay to continue working there during a terrible pandemic, and some companies/jobs have done good things for their workers in response of the outbreak which is awesome.

Workers should absolutely be compensated for their extra efforts, time, and pleasant attitude in this difficult time, and treated better than they are. Some things should 1000% be different but some things in this world are still a work in progress.

And also, for people with health issues that are at risk but working anyway for whatever reason, there shouldn't be any shame felt for taking care of yourself or by the people who have to go on unemployment, those who can't work, lost their jobs, need help or a break, or just can't do it anymore, because it hits hard when you realise that even though your effort is important and you're doing your best, playing an important role in society, you could also be risking your health/life or even possibly someone you live withs, for a company that will replace you pretty easily if you're suddenly gone.

I worked at my store for 4 years, was extremely hard working and did everything and anything I could to stay as long as I could during this, but I realised that I'd rather not risk myself and be treated how I was.

Ultimately, the sad reality is that covid has some people forgetting that humans (whether working or not) are humans too that can die or fail at any time given the current circumstances. Some situations are unavoidable like a pandemic, but we can do our best with whatever reality we meet, whether it's being essential the whole way through like some are able, and knowing your health well enough to be able to judge what's best for you individually for now.

but regardless making sure you're not taking yourself for granted in the process.

I'm lucky enough to not have gotten covid yet, and I hope it stays that way.

If your job isnt doing what it can for you in this time, dont be too stubborn about staying

Its not worth risking yourself for your job honestly, and I really hope peoples jobs do as much as they can for those they employ.

If you aren't working, do something with your time that you'll remember (safe things obviously) and if you are still working keep up the awesome progress, stay safe, and be blessed. ❤

[bardanameeks]

Telling the best friend the news

Who: @doveportdanam​ and @averclar​ - mentions of Charles

When: 29th January 2020

Notes: Dana talks to Avery, more likes breaks down about the news of her being pregnant. 

Avery

Avery was worried about Dana and how she was doing. She made sure that Chase brought her homework, since she figured it would take a while to talk to Dana. "Alright, got everything bug?" She asked as she glanced down at Chase, saw her nodded. "Will dad be here?" Avery let out a breath as she heard Chase's question. "You know, Im not sure, but if he is, still make sure you do your homework, okay?" She smoothed down her hair and knocked once they were in front of the door.

Dana

Dana was in a bit of a messy state right now, she was not getting used to the idea that her life was about to change and she didn’t want it too. She wanted a drink but couldn’t have any. She was glad Avery was coming over so she could have some company. As she heard the door, she got up and opened the door to see Avery standing there, “Hey!” She said smiling at the two of them.

Avery

Both Chase and Avery smiled at Dana. "Hey, thank you for letting us come over, I told Chase that she needs to do her homework while we, uh, get caught up." She grinned before Chase nodded. "Yeah, she promised me some more of my cake, too." Avery shrugged a bit. "Are you alone or is Eoin here, too?" Chase looked at Avery and then at Dana.

Dana

Dana had been locked in her room for ages and she knew she should get out but she didn’t want to. “Of course. Okay, that’s totally fine.” She smiled for a moment and laughed a little, “Well I am sure you’ll be getting your work done in no time.” She said looking at the girl and smiled shaking her head, “I don’t think he’s in I haven’t heard from him but I’ve kinda been in my room every day after work the last few days.”

Avery

Avery bit down on her bottom lip, remembering that he wanted her to stay the night last night but didnt want to say anything to Dana. "He's probably in his own little bubble." Avery said as she nodded. "That's also a mood, I know that I've been in that situation. For a little bit." She cleared her throat. "Can we come in?"

Dana

Dana stood there and looked at the girl for a moment as she ran a hand through her hair for a moment, “probably.” She stared as she moved aside, “come on in, sorry.” She stated as she smiled as she let them in the closed the door.

Avery

Avery nodded a bit. "Yeah..." She said softly, thankful that she didnt stay the night prior. "You're good." She waved off the apology and let Chase go in first then walked in behind the girl. "Alright, go and get set up at the table while Dana and I talked." Chase nodded as she headed to the kitchen table before she grabbed herself a snack. "Also, I found these." Avery said as she handed Dana her own ziploc of cookies. "I forgot I made more the other night. So, you can definitely hide those." She shrugged off her coat and hung it up on the coat rack. "So, what's up? What's going on?" Avery asked once Chase had her headphones on and looked at the other girl.

Dana

Dana stood there and smiled a little looking at the girl, she would love to agree things were going well for her but they weren't. As she watched Chase walk into the kitchen she looked at her friend and she wanted to hug the girl but she just knew she would end up crying all night if she did that. "Well thank you so much i absolutely love them." She smiled as she looked at the girl, "What do you mean? I mean things are just a bit not normal right now I guess..." She sighed, "I just got some news that I wasn't expecting."

Avery

Avery nodded a bit. "You're welcome and good, worked hard on them." She offered her a small smile. She made an oh face when Dana mentioned that she got some news. "I'm sorry to hear that, Dana. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Dana

Dana looked over at the girl and nodded,  she shrugged, it’s not that she should be ashamed she just didn’t know what she was doing. “Avery, it’s just I never expected to be in this position right now..” she said as she took a seat on the sofa, “Avery, I’m pregnant.”

Avery

Avery furrowed her brows as she followed Dana to the sofa and sat on the coffee table instead. She rose her eyebrows as she looked at Dana when she told her. "H-How many tests did you take?" She asked as she leaned forward and grabbed the girl's hands. "If anything, I'm here for you, okay?"

Dana

Dana glances over at the girl and ran a hand through her hair, “around about 4 to be sure. I’m going to book a doctors appointment soon.” She sighed looking over at the girl for a moment as a tear ran down her face, “thank you. I just don’t know what to do. Charlie is the dad.” She sighed

Avery

Avery moved over to sit by her and rubbed her back. "Okay and good, I was about to suggest that. If anything, I can go with you?" She offered. She nodded, knowing that this was definitely life changing. "You're welcome and I get that, I do. Oh. Were you guys at your guys' New Year's Eve party together? Or did I dreamt that?"(edited)January 30, 2020

Dana

Dana sat there trying to hold back her tears, she wasn't ready for all this, she knew some people wanted kids but that wasn't in her current plan,  "I mean I was going to go on my own but thank you for offering." She said smiling a little, "Well kind of, yeah we were and then we went off to the bar to see what it was like and well then we got very very drunk and slept together." She sighed.

Avery

Avery offered a small smile when she heard her and rubbed her back some more. "You're welcome, let me know when and I'll be there." She said softly. "Ooooh, I see. No judgment here."January 31, 2020

Dana

Dana sat there looked over at her, "Well I will let you know if I want someone to come to the doctors with me but I think I will be fine though." She sighed knowing that was a lie, "Avery, what am I meant to do, I never expected this. And I always thought I would be with someone I love when I fell pregnant."

Avery

Avery nodded. "Of course." She said softly, listened to the girl and let out a sigh as she shrugged a bit. "Sometimes things like this happens. Yeah, it throws a wrench in your plans but maybe, you could be in love with Charlie? I'm not sure."

Dana

Dana sat there, she felt fear running through her body for a moment, "I guess." She laughed a little as she ran a hand through her hair, "I can't be in love with Charlie, I am not in love with him and doubt I will be. He's my boss after all." She stated

Avery

Avery nodded slightly when she spoke and rubbed her back. "Do you want me to make you a cuppa?" She asked softly as she looked at the other girl and realized what she said. 'A cup of tea?"February 23, 2020

Dana

Dana looked over at the girl for a moment and laughed a little, "As mich as I would love a glass of wine, I can't, so yes a tea would be great thank you."

Avery

"Of course and I would definitely drink your glass of wine in a heartbeat but I'm pretty sure you guys dont have any wine at the moment." Avery replied with a soft smile as she gotten up and grabbed the kettle once she was in the kitchen. She filled the water, turned on the burner and waited as the water started to heat up. "What kind of tea do you want? I'm sure you guys have a variety of all kinds."

Dana

Dana smiled and laughed, "I mean I don't think we do." She laughed a little looking at her for a moment, "Just normal tea will do for me thank you." She smiled talking quietly.

Avery

"You're welcome for that, by the way." Avery said as she grabbed a normal tea for Dana and a mint for her, the flavor grew onto her. She grabbed two glasses and pulled the kettle off of the burner when it started to whistle, filled the cups with water. She headed back into the living room and carefully handed Dana her cup once the tea bags were in the cup. "Obviously be careful since its hot."

Dana

Dana sat there trying to not get lost in her own thoughts, but she genuinely couldn't help it. She looked over as the girl returned and she smiled, "Of course, well thank you." She smiled looking over at the girl.

Avery

Avery nodded as she sat down and blew into hers before she took a sip. "Of course, that's what friends are for, right?" She said with a soft smile when she looked at Dana.

Dana

Dana smiled looking over at the girl and nodded, "Well you are amazing and I am very lucky to have you in my life." She smiled for a moment.

Avery

Avery returned the smile and nodded a bit. "I'm very lucky to have you in my life too."

[woildismyerster]

Can you write anything with davey? I love how you characterize him!

Y/N:  i need a favor

Davey:  Sure, what’s up?

Y/N:  you just agreed.  no backing out now

Davey:  Y/N.

Y/N:  meet me behind the school

Y/N:  bring a box

“Davey is my best friend,” you cooed into your arms.  “If you like me, you’ll like him by proxy.  Probably.  Hopefully.”

To say that liking you was the same as liking Davey was a stretch, but Davey was winsome.  He would be fine as long as he didn’t do anything stupid.

“And there he is,” you said, grinning at him while he approached.  His eyes were already on what you were holding.  “The life of the party.  The VIP.  The man of the—”

“That’s a cat,” Davey said, voice going up at the end as though it was a question.

“Well spotted.”

“It looks dead,” he said, nothing questioning about it.

“It isn’t.”

It did look it, though.  The kitten was small, patchy, and buzzing with flies.  If it hadn’t been walking when you found it, you probably would have assumed the same thing.  It had settled into your arms without too much of a fuss, which was probably a universal sign that this was supposed to be the Salem to your Sabrina Spellman.

Davey looked at you, then at the box.  “You can’t seriously want to keep that thing.”

You balked.  “Somebody has to take care of it.  Why not me?”

“Because your parents don’t want ‘anymore living things’ in their house,” he pointed out.  “Because you have nowhere to hide a cat, especially if it needs special care.”

“You already agreed to help,” you said with a grin.  “No take-backs.”

“You’re the devil.”

“Irrelevant.”

He groaned.  “My parents will kill me.”

“Suitable.  A life for a life.”  You held the cat out to him, hoping that maybe there was a scrap of empathy in him somewhere.  “C’mon, Davey.  The cat needs help.  I’ll do all the work; I just need a place for him to stay.”

“You can’t do all the work,” Davey said, “when it’s at my house.”

“I’ll come over all the time,” you said eagerly.  “So much you’ll get tired of me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he said, a strange look on his face.  Maybe it was suspicion.  Maybe he was just thinking it through, imagining how he’d have to change his schedule to fit this in.  “I could never get tired of you.”

“Please?”

“I don’t even like cats,” he said, defeated.  He held out the box so you could settle the kitten in.

“You don’t have to like cats—just the one,” you said, scooping up the box and setting off toward Davey’s apartment.

Davey:  If I touch him, I’ll probably get a horrible disease and die.

Y/N:  dont touch him then

Davey:  This is all on you.

“I feel like a mom,” you crooned.

“The mom of a gremlin, maybe,” Davey said.  He’d locked the cat in a cage, both for his own sake and the cat’s.  He’d read online that the cat needed a chance to get used to it’s surroundings, so he’d been trying to help it chill out in private.  “Or like the queen that gave birth to the Minotaur.”

“Don’t talk about your son that way.”

He snorted.  “Believe me, I’d remember fathering this beast.”

You winked at him, and he went a little pink.

“Not like that, you cretin.”  He sat on the floor with you in front of the cage, crossing his legs.  “We could always give him to a shelter, you know.  To people who know what they’re doing.”

“We’ll take him to the vet tomorrow, and we’ll know what we’re doing after that.”

He sighed.  “You want to keep him.”

“Of course I do.  He’s perfect.”

“He has fleas.”

“He has feelings too, Dave, so watch your mouth.”  You bumped your shoulder against his to soften the words, and he bumped back.  “I want him.  There’s no good reason; I just do.  Please help.”

“Sure, sure.  You know I will,” he sighed.

You grinned, laying your head against his shoulder.  “Isn’t our son beautiful?”

“If you say so, dear,” he said.  After a second, he laid his cheek against your head.  Even through your hair, you could feel how warm his skin was.  Maybe it was just warm in the room.

You weren’t sure there had ever been so many people in Davey’s room before, but cats were a siren call that no rational human could ignore.  None of your friends were rational—aside from Davey, perhaps, but even he had succumbed.

“We took him to the vet,” he told anybody within earshot.  “They gave us a food plan, and he has roundworm—”

“You’re killing the magic, Dave,” Jack said.  “Don’t.”

It had taken a few days for the kitten to get comfortable in his new home, and even longer to reach a point where he didn’t lose his mind around new people.  Your squad had been hankering to see him for ages, but Davey had been adamant about keeping the stressors to a minimum.

“I dunno, guys,” Elmer said.  “I just watched The Haunting of Hill House, and you saw what happened to the kittens they took in—”

“We aren’t kids,” you said.  “Between Davey and I, we can keep one cat alive.  The vet mapped it all out.”

“There are probably other scary movies with bad cats,” Race said.  He grinned, running his fingers along the length of the cat’s head.  “Look out, Davey, the end of days is near.”

“The Black Cat, by Edgar Allan Poe,” Romeo said.

“Lucifer,” Albert said.  “‘Cinderella’ didn’t play around.”

“Mrs. Norris,” Crutchie said.  He hadn’t stopped smiling since he first saw the cat, and the cat seemed to like Crutchie just as much.  No surprise there.

“Or,” you cut in, shooting a sidelong glance at an exhausted Davey, “this cat is gonna be like Crookshanks.  That’d be pretty cool.”

“Not gonna lie, Y/N,” Davey whispered later.  “This is harder than I expected.”

You grimaced.  You’d trust Davey with a cat before anybody else, but you’d never intended to inconvenience him.  “I can ask somebody else to hang onto him, if you want.”

“No,” Davey said hurriedly.  “No, it’s fine, I’ve got it.  I just hadn’t realized how much that would take, before.”

“I could come over more,” you offered.  “Bribe you with snacks.”

He smiled, shooting a look at the shoelace the kitten was chewing.  “That would be nice.”

You grinned back, warming up to the idea.  It was always nice coming to Davey’s house.  There was always good food, and anyplace with Davey obviously had good company.  “You really will get tired of me, now.”

“Impossible,” he said.

Cat NAME POLL RESULTS:

Muffin Man - 2 votes

Name him Davey so we can replace Davey Jacobs with a better model - 8 votes

Jean Ralphio - 4 votes

Dat Ho - 7 votes

Wilson (Jesus, guys, a normal name) - 1 votes

Tom Hanks - 2 votes

“We aren’t naming the cat ‘Davey,’” Davey the Human said.

“That attitude is exactly why we wanted to get rid of you in the first place,” Race said.

“Use the second place name.”

You grinned.  “You know, I thought that ‘Dat Ho’ had a nice ring to it.”

Davey’s glare was withering.  “I should stop hanging out with you guys.  How hard could it possibly be to pick a nice name?  I’m even willing to use a pun at this point.”

Davey the Cat walked across Race’s backpack, claws scritching against the fabric.  He slipped, hit the floor, and proceeded to act as though nothing had happened.

“He even looks a little like you,” you said.  “Fitting to share a name, isn’t it?”

Race threw an arm over Davey’s shoulders.  “It’s a compliment.  Bask in it.”

Les sometimes sent you pictures of Davey with the cat.  They would read together, or Davey would stay up two hours later than usual because he didn’t dare wake the cat up by standing.

You took a screenshot every single time.  After a while, you started setting them as lockscreens on your phone.  You had no good explanation when people asked about it.

“Y/N?”  Davey rubbed his thumb over his lip while he looked at the chess board.  “Are you going to the fridge?”

“Yeah.”

“If you get some cheese, you can give a little to the cat.”

You grinned.  “You give him cheese?”

“Davey the Cat loves cheese,” he said, shrugging.  “Might as well let him treat himself.”

“You’ve gone soft,” you said.  The cat was sitting on the table, looking at that game board with as much interest as Davey was.  Seeing it made you feel a little soft, too.

“I still don’t like cats,” he said.

“Just the one, huh?”

Davey said nothing.  He rubbed the cat’s head, and the cat leaned into the touch.

You showed Jack and Race a picture of Davey with the cat, waiting for their faces to light up.  They smiled, but didn’t seem as taken with it as you were.

“I was surprised when Davey took the cat,” Jack commented on the way to class.  “He’s so whipped.”

“What do you mean?”

“Whipped,” Race said, dragging out the word.  “You know, when somebody does absolutely anything their lover says.  Davey’d jump off a cliff if you smiled at him while you asked him to.  Actually, letting the cat in his house is probably crazier than that.”

“Davey isn’t whipped,” you said.  “He’s just nice.”

“So’s Crutchie, and he would have at least asked his parents before saying yes.”

“Jack, Davey is your best friend.  You know that he doesn’t do anything if he doesn’t think it’s a good idea,” you said.

“Of course it seemed like a good idea.  You told him you’d hang out with him more if he did what you asked.”

You cringed.  “I didn’t say it like that.  He wanted the cat.”

“Davey didn’t want the cat,” Jack snorted.

“He literally told you that he doesn’t like cats,” Race said.  “You need to listen better.”

You scowled at them.  “Davey wouldn’t have taken Davey the Cat in if he didn’t sort of want him, a little bit.”

“He didn’t want the cat,” Jack said, as though you would only understand him if he spoke slowly.  “He just wanted to make you happy.”

“I call BS.”

Jack put his hands on your shoulders.  “Listen to me.  Davey thinks you’re great, and wants to make all of your dreams come true, yada yada yada.  You needed help with the cat.  He could help with the cat.  That’s all there is to it.”

“Please,” you said.  “This is Davey we’re talking about.”

“Exactly.  Why would Davey do something if he didn’t want to?  Because what you wanted mattered more than what he wanted.  It isn’t rocket science.”

It sure felt like rocket science.  Actually, rocket science would probably have made more sense.

So, maybe had taken in a cat because you asked him to.  That wasn’t so crazy, right?

It was a little crazy.

The real problem, the big thing that plagued your mind for days, was the guilt.  You should never have asked him in the first place.  When he hadn’t seemed interested, you should have backed off.  Here he was, stuck with a cat, because he maybe sort of probably would have done anything to make you happy.

You called Jack one night, hoping that talking about it without seeing him might make it easier to ask questions.

“Has he ever told you that he liked me?”

“No,” Jack said immediately.  “Davey’s not really like that, you know.  He’s not really chatty, and he really doesn’t tell people things if he doesn’t want everybody knowing them.”

You knew that, of course.  “What makes you think that he did this because he’s whipped, then?”

“Y/N, don’t be an idiot.  You have eyes.  You know how he is.  If he didn’t want the cat, it was for you.  If he had you come over to help, it was because he wanted you over.  He can take care of a cat on his own.  He likes you.”

You hugged your pillow.  “Okay.”

Jack yawned.  “Is that it?  Can I go to bed?”

“One more question.  Why did I ask Davey to take the cat in the first place?  I knew that Davey didn’t really like cats.”

“Don’t get mad at me for saying so,” Jack said, “but we all assumed that it was because you like Davey back.”

“Oh.”

“Looks, it’s just—it’s always the two of you.  It always has been.  I’m not saying that you guys can’t be regular friends, but I’m not sure that either of you would be good at that.  Not with each other.”

“Davey,” you said.

“Y/N.”  He carefully peeled his string cheese to each strip was around the same size.  

“You don’t have to keep Davey the Cat anymore,” you said.  “Crutchie offered to take him on.”

Davey blinked at you, surprised.  His hands dropped a little, his snack forgotten.  “Oh.”

“You didn’t want him,” you said.

“I know.”

“Now things can go back to normal.”  You didn’t want Davey to be unhappy because he thought it was better for you.  You weren’t sure what to think of Davey liking you—or the possibility (certainty) that you liked him back—but you could try to make life easier for him, at the very least.  “You can have evenings to yourself again, now that I won’t be coming around.”

“Oh,” Davey repeated.  There was no emotion on his face at all.

You grinned, a little too large to be real.  “You were probably getting tired of me, after all.”

“I wasn’t,” he croaked.  The emotion was there now, and you wished you’d talked to him before talking to Crutchie.  “I really wasn’t.”

“You’ll be happier once everything is back the way it was,” you tried.

“I’m not sure that’s true.”

You winced.  “Look, I know that this was all for me.  You don’t have to do this anymore.”

He went a little pink.  “That’s ridiculous.”

“I talked to Jack—”

“Never listen to Jack.  He’s had too much paint water to drink to be sane”

You half smiled.  “Maybe, but he knows you pretty well.”

“No,” Davey said.

“Yes.”

“Maybe.”

“So,” you continued, “I’m going to make this right.”

“I want the cat,” Davey said forcefully.

“What?”

“I want the cat.  I like the way my life is, now.  I like Davey the Cat.  I like having you over.  I like that I’m your lockscreen, and I like coparenting, and I like—”

You kissed him, and everything else was far away.  Sure, you were conscious of everything happening around you.  You heard his food hit the floor.  You heard cars honking outside, and the light tapping of rain against the window.  You were aware of many things, but none of them mattered as much as Davey’s hands going to your waist, or the sharp inhale right before he started kissing you back.

“I, ah, really like coparenting with you,” you said after pulling back.

Davey smiled, baffled.  “Okay.”

“I’ll tell Crutchie that you’ve changed your mind about the cat.”

“Okay,” he said again.  His hands were still on your sides.  “What—why’d you—”

“I’m just not tired of you yet,” you said.

Davey was grinning, still confused but incredibly happy.  “I’m so confused right now.”

You kissed him again.  That would illuminate some things.

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod, @albertdasillva, @broadwayandbookblog, @races-erster, @simplyvictoria-93, @theapexpredatorr, @paigedapotato

[emeraldbabygirl]

Can I just..WIG

Groups and soloists that have been snatching my pants lately cause my wigs have been gone and ever since they started comin for my real hair I don’t have much left. I might include a few pics uwu

CLC

Oh My Girl

Twice

BlackPink

Jennie

Weki Meki

Lee Hi

Hyorin

Ladies’ Code

EXID

WJSN

Tweety

Girlkind’s JK

Hashtag

Saturday

N.Tic

Dreamnote

fromis_9

Their recent comebacks have me beyond shooketh. Like, CLC’s Me mv, and monthly choreographies like, wow. Oh My Girl’s SSFWL is so beautiful and I just, people were saying Kill This Love was bad but naw bitch that was everything. I loved Jennie’s opening and Jisoo’s part ugh slay queen. Hyorin, I only have Paradise by her and I was not paying attention to her I will admit but You Know Better is just beautiful. Lee Hi’s No One mv with B.I ugh, fucking wig. I didn’t think I would like Fancy but I’m in love with it. I legit couldn’t stop smiling, they all looked gorgeous and Chaeyoung’s lil “Fancy woo” IS FUCKING ADORBS. Ladies’ Code slayed my being. The retro vibe, just fuck me up. I’m so proud of them, they’ve been through a lot and they still out here killing the game. Stan Ladies’ Code, they are beautiful ladies full of talent and crackhead culture. EXID, another comeback I didn’t think I would like but Junghwa FUCKING SLAYED THAT ERA OH MY LORD YAAAASSS. WEKI MEKI BITCH..

IM SO PICKY PICKY PICKY

IM SO PICKY PICKY PICKY

LIKE IT

DONT LIKE IT

LOVE IT

DONT WANT IT

WEKI MEKI

IM SO PICKY

WJSN I haven’t even watched the mv, only the teaser but I know that it’s a damn summer bop and ever since Sistar disbanded I’ve been upset that there’s only 3 seasons left but then BAM! WJSN saves summer and my multi-stanning ass is crying and quaking. Jennie..Jennie Jennie Jennie. I screamed when I watched the Solo mv. She slayed and she looked amazing and I’d eat Froot Loops our her ass no lie™️. Saturday is doing amazing, their comeback for WiFi fucking slaps and if you aren’t stanning Saturday then what are you doing with your life? Sion did a cover of Rockabye and Friends by Anne Marie and let me tell you

A SIS POPPED OFF

The duality of this tiny queen is a concept, a look, we stan, we’re shook.

Hashtag’s Freesm mv, first of all being under the same company as Noir you know they’re talented, stan Noir btw, and those ladies popped the fuck off. I would hand them my pants on a silver platter. Girlkind’s JK has a solo out called Split I believe and hunny was snatchin more than just wigs. Tweety’s Bad Boy mv, THE GIRL ROCK BAND THAT EVERYONE WANTS. Dreamnote’s Hakuna Matata, to quote someone, “a bubBLEGUM BOp” fromis_9’s Love Bomb? YES YES YES YES AND MORE YES. N.Tic Once Again mv is really great and these blind bitches sayin it was a bad debut like, y’all can eat my ass that shit was a pure mothafuckin banger. Just like Do You Now Who I Am? A bop as well. Obviously they improved on their dancing and singing skills but a smashing debut. And Jion is a fairy Istg and they’ve added another member and posted on their insta some photos so I’m hoping for a comeback. Ugh I’m excited bis. I absolutely love these mvs, these groups really snapped and I stan my whole broke ass. I don’t know what it is but I’m in love. It must be the stylists and directors and the managers, choreographers just, PIECES OF ART BIS. FUCKING ART. The outfits are everything, their hairstyles and colors, the song, the sound, the raps, the dances I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THEM. So these groups literally own my ass now. And Oh My Girl really stepping up with their majestic comebacks. And honestly ever since CLC comeback with Hobgoblin it’s been a badass, wig snatching trip. And I didn’t like Hobgoblin at first cause I loved their cute stuff but they own the badass tough concept and they own my ass. I’m lookin at you Seungyeun.

As a bonus I just want to say that the official YouTube channels for both Tweety and Favorite are, I don’t know if it’s the company/manager doing it or the girls themselves but they be heartin your comments on the YouTube and Tweety hearted mine today and I screamed when I got the notif. They also reply back to some of the comments and thank the fans and if that ain’t a reason to stan than I’ve got nothin.

So in conclusion stan these groups for wig snatching content. Also found my wig. Jion took it. He looks better than me in it

[minblush]

I hope you dont mind me asking but what is right wing? Is it like the conservative side

japanese right wing ideology is kinda specific and has been on the rise, it’s tied with radical nationalism and japan’s imperialistic history, which is a topic very sensitive to koreans because they suffered greatly because of japan (the issue of comfort women) etc, current japanese right wing ideology is re-writing history and trying to suppress the knowledge of atrocities japan has committed in favor of blind patriotism (monuments for imperial war criminals, propagation of the rising sun flag which is to east asian countries equivalent to the swastika, removing mentions of war crimes from history books), that’s why korean fans are mad and hurt, and others are also worried about it impacting the image of bangtan in korea

Anonymous said:apparently japanese fans are also really mad so this was undoubtedly the dumbest decision ever bang pd can fucking choke

i haven’t seen as many reactions from them so i can’t comment on that fully, but stupid decision it really was.. can’t get out of my head that bang pd literally said he admires the world view of that man.. what the fuck

Anonymous said:If bts has the amount of artistic freedom and get to make the choices like they say they do there are seven members surely they can stand up and say hey I won’t work with this producer…. I know we don’t know 100% how it all works and what is going on but if they can’t do that then a. They don’t have the freedom they say they do or b. They don’t have the integrity or awareness/right stance on social issues like they make out they do…

you are exactly right

Anonymous said:But not going to lie yoongis work is nice

yes i agree

Anonymous said:Do u think bts need to gives some sort of feedback or something on how toxic the fandom has become?? Do u think its necessary for an artist to respond? Just want to hear your opinion about it. (And i know its not ideal for artist to do that, they basically saying to some of the fans that theyre wrong etc etc, and it will definitely hurt their ego) sooo despite that do u think they actually need to?

do they need to? obviously not because they can keep going just fine without it, should they? would it help? yes, i believe so. i don’t think artists are responsible for what their fans do, but if something you could say would make a difference for the better, then why not? majority of fans adore bts like gods and blindly believe everything they say, were they to speak up it might influence a very good portion of them

Anonymous said:I agree with your post so much I literally love bts to bits but also like,,, I don’t know how to say it you said it better than me but specially with the ‘saying things about any real substance’ not to get too deep but I’ve suffered with bipolar and ADHD my life was absolute shit when I was 18 years old and songs like sea are really genius impactful, I love them and they help me but they’re never the FACE of their album which is disappointing since we hold them up to THAT standard

yes exactly, i’ve had songs that were very meaningful to me as well, but they are getting further and further away from these songs being the focus and instead we keep getting issues like this and i’m just so tired

Anonymous said:I’m so sorry but being an old crusty ass man and defending obvious sexual abuse and harassment because it gets his sick dick hard is the most vile thing I’ve ever seen. I love bts but If they keep this dude on the album I am not touching that shit it can flop hopefully for all I care lmao

same… like really it’s more important to bang pd to get the media buzz than having any integrity.. ugh

w0n-rabbit said:Hi there!! I hope yoi dont mind me bothering but I have been following youre bolg for quite some time now and I have always valued your opinion on all the issues happening because well I like the way you voice them out and your honesty is 😶 quite charming. On a different note, I find it extremely hard to support BTS right now. I mean was a huge fan at first but became less and less of one solely because of the fandom and now this. Sorry to bombard you like this 😶

hi you’re not bothering me at all! thank you for sharing your thoughts as well and for thinking nice things about me (dakjsd i disagree but i appreciate it ofc

Anonymous said:Hey so I’ve been reading your replies and it kinda opened my eyes a bit but I was just wondering on where you stand? Like are you still a fan of bts or you just don’t agree with bighit?

i don’t know anymore honestly, i’ve been continuously disappointed and hurt by things surrounding them for a long time now and the negatives have been outweighing the positives.. i still am fond of the boys and the their group dynamic and the song that meant to me a lot before still do now.. it’s just hard? how can i call myself a fan when this all is what they stand for now? when the company’s priorities are so skewed and painful? so i don’t know, i am still fond of them as people though

[green-eyeddragonfanfiction]

Valentine’s Day Countdown: Day 4

Valentine’s Day Countdown Collection

Day 4 of my Valentine’s Day Fanfic Countdown. If you’re interested in seeing your story/ship get written by me, found out more here!

So, without any further ado, here are the two requests that made today’s cut:

1) Loki Laufeyson x Reader 2) College!Peter Parker x Reader

Anonymous asked green-eyeddragonfanfiction: For your valentine thingymajig(i like this word)  Can you do a reader x loki where the reader has infiltrated the avengers compound as an avenger but she's (could be he as well i dont really care). The avengers find out and get all butt-hurt but loki believes in her and hes the first to trust her again. Also whats the difference between an imagine, a one-shot, and a drabble?

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader Warnings: swearing, angst, betrayal Word Count: ~1,163 A/N: yasss Loki. Also, sorry for the delay on these. I made poor life decisions yesterday.

One year, three months, sixteen days, ten hours, thirty-five minutes, and four seconds.

That’s how long it took Earth’s mightiest heroes to realize you weren’t all you appeared to be.

Even with all of Stark’s money and a few of the best spies this world had ever seen, it took them months to sniff you out.

Which is why you now found yourself in a high-security cell in the basement of the Avengers compound in upstate New York.

“Just tell us who sent you, (Y/N).”

The Captain’s voice drew you from your reverie. You stared at those piercing blue eyes through the thick wall of glass. All traces of the shy, kind man you’d come to know were replaced by the cold, hard exterior of Captain America. Still, he didn’t have what it took to break you.

The red head next to him... she might be a different story.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” you muttered, turning away from them on the rock-like cot in your room. Everything was a sterile white that already had you itching to punch something. Too clean. Too neat.

“Just tell us what we need to know, (Y/N). This doesn’t have to end this way,” Natasha said persuasively, voice as smooth as silk.

As though she wouldn’t slit your throat the second you looked at Steve sideways now.

Can’t tell you. Too dangerous. They’ll kill you. Tear you all to pieces... go through anyone to get to you.

When you didn’t speak- or even move- Steve let out a long sigh. “C’mon, Nat. We’re wasting our time here,” Steve said coldly. You could imagine the disappointed, betrayed look on his face in crystal-clear detail. It made your heart plummet to your stomach.

You weren’t supposed to develop feelings for your marks, but this ragtag group of idiots had grown on you like no other. Eventually, you realized you hated deceiving them. You wanted to stop. Wanted them to find you out so you could stop the charade.

Catch me. I can’t stop. They won’t let me. Catch me. Lock me away where the sun doesn’t shine. I can’t keep doing this.

“Well... you look like shit.”

You went still. You knew that voice nearly as well as your own.

“What do you want, Loki?” you asked, trying to sound as detached as possible. Getting close to Loki hadn’t been part of your plan. He was dangerous. Deadly.

And had enough suspicion surrounding him that he’d cast doubt on any near him, too.

That didn’t stop you from falling in love with him, though. He was a complicated man with enough twists and turns in his soul to keep your guessing for the rest of your life.

You liked it. He was adventure, wild and dangerous. A promise of fun and mischief. Simple in his complexity.

Not bad on the eyes, either.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, sounding nothing more than politely curious.

You snorted. “You don’t have any right to judge me,” you said scathingly.

Run. Away from me. Go. Before you make things worse for yourself.

You could practically see him regarding you as he thought. “No, I suppose I don’t... and I’m not. But I am curious.”

You spun to face him, unable to keep your composure any longer. “What do you want me to say, Loki? That I’m sorry? That I didn’t mean it? That it’s all some big misunderstanding? Well, I’m not going to fucking say it. Any of it,” you spat. He didn’t so much as twitch.

His next words made your breath catch in your throat. “What of us, then? Was that all a lie, too?” he asked, regarding you coolly. He was so deathly still that you knew he was struggling with his emotions.

You set your jaw and took a deep breath which you exhaled through your nose. “You don’t mean anything to me, Loki. You never did. I was just using you to throw suspicion off of myself,” you said as you glared at him.

It felt like you were being stabbed in the heart as you spoke. Your mind was racing.

Buy it. Believe it. Don’t attach yourself to me. Not when you’re just beginning to build bridges with everyone else. Save yourself like you always do, you fool.

There, in the back of your mind, was a smaller voice, I love you. Please, don’t leave me alone. Please. I beg of you.

You turned away and pulled your knees to your chest. “Goodbye, Loki. Don’t come back. I don’t want to see your face again.”

You didn’t hear him leave, but he was always a quiet one. Moving around undetected by even Natasha and Bucky seemed to be a special skill of his. You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and check; the sight of the room on the other side of the glass being empty where just a moment before Loki had been... now that might break you.

So when a pair of lean muscular arms wrapped themselves around your waist, you couldn’t help the sob that escaped your chest.

“Please don’t lie to me, love...” he murmured, breath tickling your ear. You leaned back into his chest and let the tears flow down your cheeks. It was all too much, and you felt your resolve crumble away in that instant.

“I’m sorry, Loki. I’m so sorry. Please... please, I can’t- I can’t lose you. Not you,” you choked out between hiccuping sobs.

He ran his fingers through your hair and placed a kiss to your temple. “I’m not going anywhere, Dove,” he whispered. At that, you managed to calm down a bit, although tears still flowed freely down your cheeks. “Please talk to us. Talk to me... so I can drive my knives through the hearts of anyone who’s ever tried to manipulate or hurt you,” he said, voice somehow both endearing and deadly.

You snorted and wiped your tears from your face before you turned to him. You were wearing an amused smile and the sight made the corners of Loki’s own lips turn upwards. “I love you, Loki Laufeyson. And that’s the truth,” you whispered as you rested your forehead against his and ran your fingers through his long black hair.

His bright grey eyes locked onto you, sparkling with mischief and emotion as he spoke. “I love you, too. And if you ever tell anyone how sappy you make me, I’ll be forced to kill you to save face,” he joked.

You let out a short huff of laughter which he shared, a deep rumble of a chuckle in his chest. “Duly noted, my God of Mischief.”

His grin turned a little more feral and you felt a thrill of anticipation run through you. “I do so love when you call me that.”

“God of Mischief?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He truly was one for all the pomp and circumstance.

He smiled and shook his head. “Yours.”

sheerioasteroidpanda said to green-eyeddragonfanfiction: Okay so, for your valentines day thingy Could you do a College! Peter Parker x Reader and it be fluffy af Like maybe reader is super close to Bucky (like shes constantly hugging him and makes him give her piggy back rides idk) and Peter thinks that they are actually dating but then Bucky asks if she has plans for Valentines and reader gets all sad because she doesn't and Peter panics and asks her out in front of Bucky. IDK I just love you and I feel like Spidy doesn't get enough love sometimes

Pairing: College!Peter Parker x Reader Warnings: None... I think. Word Count: ~1,337 A/N: Obviously an AU a few years in the future where Peter is in college and therefore 18+

Peter watched as you passed through the kitchen in a whirlwind, grabbing food and coffee while juggling your backpack and coat. His homework lay forgotten on the table in front of him, too distracted by your very presence to bother giving it any attention.

“You should really sit down and eat, Doll,” Bucky said with a frown from his spot at the kitchen island. Beside him, Steve nodded in agreement.

You barely even flinched at the request as you shoved a piece of toast in your mouth. “Can’t, Buck. I’m late,” you said hurriedly. Peter frowned when you slung an arm around him and placed a kiss to his cheek before giving Steve a hug and dashing for the door.

You paused at the doorway and turned to look at Peter, whose heart immediately began thumping loudly in his chest at your sudden attention. “See you in class later, Peter?” you asked, giving him a tentative smile. Peter nodded eagerly, his voice having spontaneously left him the moment you looked at him. You smiled at him. “Cool.”

And then you ran out the door.

Bucky and Steve had watched the entire thing and when Peter finally looked back at them with a goofy grin on his face he felt himself pale dangerously at the look on Bucky’s face.

He looked murderous.

Which, for an assassin with a metal arm, meant he was absolutely fucking terrifying.

“I’m just gonna- I’ll go study in my room,” he said, quickly gathering his books up and making a hasty exit, books teetering dangerously in his arms.

“Bucky...” Peter heard Steve say chastizingly, but Peter practically ran to his room and didn’t overhear anything said between them after that.

The clock hit 12:50pm and your professor dismissed the class. You and Peter stood up and gathered your things, chatting absently as you moved. You made it out of the building and towards the parking lot slowly, enjoying each other’s company. Peter was sure if Bucky saw the two of you together he’d punch his lights out.

Finally, he asked that question he’d been dreading. Why he wanted to hurt himself like that was beyond him. “So... you have plans with Bucky later?”

You thought about it for a second and even pulled out your phone to check. “No... why?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, cause... cause it’s Valentine’s Day,” Peter said, gaze glued to the ground.

You sounded good and confused now. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Peter’s gaze flew upwards to your face, but he quickly looked away nervously. “Well, he’s your boyfriend, so-”

“What?” you stopped in your tracks, face unreadable.

“Bucky’s your boyfriend, so I’m sure you guys are doing something tonight... right?”

You stared blankly at him for a second before wordlessly pulling out your phone and typing something Peter couldn’t quite see without straining his neck quite obviously. You shoved your phone back into your pocket and looked up at him and Peter tried very hard to look like he hadn’t just been trying to sneak a peek at your phone.

“Peter, Bucky’s not my boyfriend,” you said, deadpan.

“What? But you always hug him and give him kisses and you used to ask him to give you piggy back rides and-”

“Peter,” you cut across him. He instantly snapped his mouth shut and stared at you in confusion. “Bucky’s not my boyfriend. He’s my grand uncle.”

Peter’s eyes widened comically and you had to bite back a laugh. “He- You- What?” he asked, flabbergasted.

You laughed at that. “My Grandma Rebecca is his sister. We’re family.”

Peter’s mouth opened and closed a few times and you made a mental note of how he looked like a fish out of water. “So... not dating?”

You made a face. “Ew. No. Even if we weren’t related he’s over a hundred years old. I mean even if you count biological years he’s still got like ten years on me.”

Peter frowned and looked at the ground. “Oh.”

You peered at him, head tilted slightly. “Why do you ask?”

Peter went beet red. “No reason.”

You paused before plastering a smile on your face. “Oh, alright then. Let’s get back to base, yeah? Before Tony sends Steve and Natasha after us.”

Peter nodded and avoided your gaze. After a moment, his head shot back up, confused expression on his face. “Hey, what did you send on your phone a minute ago?” he asked curiously.

The grin on your face reminded him violently of Natasha and the glint in your eyes reminded him of Bucky. “Oh, I told the group chat you thought Bucky was my boyfriend.”

Peter went tomato red again as he pulled out his phone. Sure enough, the group chat had exploded with messages and he saw quite a few witty, sarcastic ones from Tony, Clint, and Sam. He supposed it was a blessing Loki didn’t have a phone.

“Stupid. Coward. Idiot.” Peter thumped his head lightly against his desk with each word. He paused his berating of himself when he heard the scuffle outside his door.

“Buck, come on- you can’t just-”

But Steve’s protests apparently didn’t stop Bucky because a second later he kicked the door open, six feet of muscle and anger blocking the light from the hallway.

Peter gulped loudly. “Uh, hi, Sergeant Barnes. Captain Rogers. Can... can I help you?” he squeaked.

Bucky stalked forward and stopped barely and inch from Peter who’d reflexively stood up in case he had to defend himself. “Fix it,” Bucky spat.

“Wha- I don’t-”

“Fix it!” Bucky hissed again. This close, Peter could feel his breath on his face.

Steve sighed; Peter could just barely spot a broad shoulder and the top of Steve’s blond head past Bucky. “Bucky, you gotta use your words.”

Bucky took a deep breath and took a half step back. “She’s sad. (Y/N). I can’t fix it. Not this. Already tried. Grow a pair and ask her out,” he said, glaring down his nose at Peter.

“Wait, what? You... want me to ask her out?” he asked, utterly caught off guard.

Bucky scoffed. “Hell no. But you make her happy. I see the way you look at each other. I’m not blind.”

“She likes me?” Peter asked, the words sounding foreign in his mouth even though he’d been wishing for them to be true for months. Years, even.

“Go ask her yourself and find out, punk,” Bucky said as he crossed his arms.

Peter nodded, mind going a million miles per hour, and moved to step around Bucky’s large frame, but his metal hand shot out and stopped him in his tracks. “If you hurt her, I want you to know- in no uncertain terms- you’ll regret it. I won’t go into details. I don’t need to. Just know I’m a man of my word,” Bucky said darkly. Steve sighed and shook his head, burying his face in his hands in exasperation.

Peter gulped and nodded. “I understand, Sergeant Barnes, sir.”

Bucky gave him one last glance before he removed his hand and nodded. “Then go.”

Peter didn’t need to be told twice. He bolted from the room, eager to leave The Winter Soldier behind.

He found you in minutes, knowing the places you liked to frequent off the top of his head. When you saw him rush into the room you smiled, though one of your brows was lifted in confusion. Even from this far away, Peter could tell you’d been crying recently. Your eyes were still a little puffy and red.

“Hey, Peter... what’s up?” you asked casually.

“DoyouwannagoonadatewithmeforValentine’sDay?” he asked, words blurring together in his haste to get them out.

You stared at him blankly, nod understanding. “Sorry... what?”

“You. Me. Valentine’s Day?” he asked haltingly, finer speech eluding him under your gaze.

But you finally seemed to understand, wide grin lighting your face up; one Peter instantly found himself mimicking as his heart soared. “Yeah, Peter. I’d love to be your Valentine.”

[beholdagay]

fitting in, growing up, my negative thinking, the mind vs the heart, taking on anxiety with lilly singh, deceit, and virgil (sorry for all the questions, you absolutely do not have to answer all of them if you don’t want to. i honestly just really like asking people questions and getting to know them.)

Heya! Dont worry about it! I love answering questions so you're good :PFitting In: What’s your Hogwarts House?I am a proud Hufflepuff! Which comes off as a shock to many people. Personally I don't see how I qualify as a Hufflepuff but I don't question it because I love being one and giving Hufflehugs!Growing Up: What’s one random fact about your childhood? Well... As a child I would cry everytime I lost a pencil, pen, rubber etc. because I thought my parents would be mad XD Tbfh it has stayed with me so now everytime I lose something, no matter how miniscule, I get upset. Thankfully I don't cry about it anymore though XDMy NEGATIVE Thinking: What’s a negative mindset you find yourself falling into? Oh boy so... I focus on only the negative aspects of my life and filter out the positives, I internalise my feelings, I blame myself for everything bad that occurs in my life, and that's just to name a few XDTHE MIND vs. THE HEART: When you make decisions, do you think with your head or your heartI'd like to say my heart, keywords LIKE TO, but I actually think I think with my head. I don't tend to follow my heart in general, I'm strictly logical (or perhaps I'm illogical XD)Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!!: What’s one way you deal with anxietyHaha what's this "dealing" you're talking about. Who? I don't know her. XD No but in all fairness whenever I feel anxious or am having an anxiety attack I either text my online friends (plus my amazing datemate @thelogicalanxiouscreativeheart, and my irl friend, Naomi) or I just try to relax by turning on cartoons, using my adult colouring book, cuddle into my Hogwarts house pillows and fluffy blanket and sometimes get a warm drink like hot chocolate or milk. Doesn't always work but it's the one that works the best out of the ones I've tried out.Deceit: What’s the most recent lie you’ve told? Ooh Hard one. You see I don't like to lie to my friends and I don't talk to my parents long enough to lie XD It was probably when I was talking to my friends about kinks and I lied about what I'm not into XD They're all pretty vanilla people, they wouldn't be able to comprehend half of what I like :pVirgil: What’s a tough obstacle you’ve had to overcome and how did you defeat it?Damn, another hard one. Well for the last 2 weeks I was forced to find a place to volunteer in. I have severe social anxiety though and I have a real fear of rejection so I've been dreading and putting off making phonecalls to the businesses. My parents weren't a great source of comfort or help, they'd just yell and say that I have to learn how to do things on my own. Luckily I have my amazing best friend, Naomi, there for me who took the time to stand by me and give me silent support. She calmed me down and walked around the town with me, staying out late after school, just to keep me company and give me that boost of confidence to ask the managers about it. She's been a great help and I'm happy to have her in my life. She helped me overcome (or at least partly overcome) my fear of rejection. Some people rejected my offer and I didn't immediately start crying! Yay me! Obviously I still have a LONG way to go but as long as I have her I think I'll be fine. So to conclude this long rant XD I didn't exactly overcome this obstacle and I surely didn't do it alone, but I'm on the right track now.ANYWAY! Damn this was long XD I should probably write shorter answers... nah that won't happen. I tried to answer this as fast and as best as I could though :PTHANK YOU FRIENDO!

[motorcyclegirlfriends]

I mean not rehash but i was never under the impression that the cast had any issue with the ships themselves. Its the people who behave wildly and bully the cast, who associate with certain ships, that sparked the awfulness, thats what they have issue with. But yea back to the point, i dont think Katie is lying or just doing damage control. I think she honestly wants to reassure people that the cast isnt defined by one shitty moment. And i mean she would know, she constantly raves about them

Yeah I’ve said similarly so often my followers are probably tired of it, lol.

This is the second time Katie has said something like this—the first being “I only said what everyone thinks” when thanked for saying what she said at SDCC—but the fandom has a bad habit of interpreting everything a fave says to mean only exactly what they want them to think.

When the “I only said what everyone thinks” was said, people interpreted it as “Everyone can see that Kara and Lena have romantic subtext” which is not something she said at SDCC (in fact, she said the opposite— that it was a surprise to her).

When I posted the quote,

“When I meet people who ship Lena and Kara, I’m not going to—and I know nobody else on the show is going to—deny them that.”

—Katie Mcgrath, casually reassuring us of where the rest of the cast stands

—which is rather obviously me saying “Katie is saying that the cast doesn’t have anything against Supercorp,” people somehow missed that point, as well. Like, not only what Katie’s point was, but what my really obvious goal in posting it was.

So there’s a lot of misinterpretation.

But what’s worse to me is when something is impossible to misinterpret and so instead, people say that it’s, of course, not how they really feel.

For instance—people who understood what my quote post was about writing in the tags a narrative that prevents Katie from actually directly meaning what she said such as, “She probably gave them a talking to.” 

In a way, another example is when Katie laughed along to Jeremy’s “They’re only friends!” Because people could not conceive of it being anything other than obviously homophobic to everyone (even though it, you know, was not actually homophobic), they made up a whole story about how Katie was uncomfortable the whole time. That it was nervous laughter, despite it really obviously being genuine.

(This escalated to an entire fictional story about the cast at sdcc, which included Katie and Odette apparently hating the rest of the cast. A narrative that gets increasingly hard to tell the more nice things they freely say about their coworkers and the more they are all shown to really enjoy each other’s company. 

…and yet, if you try hard enough, it can still all be written off as if they’re just somehow putting on a show.)

Another example of this is the reaction to Chyler and Caity saying that Sanvers and Nyssara ending wasn’t the writer’s fault, but just something that happened because of the circumstances. 

Posts cycled immediately about how they had to say that, even if they didn’t mean it. When like… there was absolutely no reason for them to defend the writers if they didn’t want to. They could have easily avoided that. In fact, it was obvious that Caity made a point to bring it up when she would forget to mention it at one point or another.

The truth is, if they agreed that something shitty was going on with the ending of these relationships, they simply wouldn’t have made that video.

Listen, it’s fine to disagree with your faves. In fact, I encourage it. It lends itself to healthy boundaries.

But you’re not doing them any favors by saying that they didn’t really mean what they said or did.

You’re silencing them.

You’re putting words in their mouth, even when they pointedly are saying the opposite.

It’s one thing if the meaning is unclear—though the fact that there’s such rampant misinterpretation of meaning in the fandom is an issue—but it’s another to know the impression that they are trying to give and saying that it’s a lie.

If you truly respect your fave, try to understand that they are capable of disagreeing with you.