#they wanna shit on the younger gen so bad and victimize them for feeling old self inflicted

[vicontheinternet]

What gets me is when older gens/parents get online and angrily respond to someone questions abt how things used to work like maybe because yall didn't teach them shit. How do you expect them to know just spontaneously have knowledge of how things works when they were kids or before they were born. Or the millennials who wanna be old so bad and be condescending "most ppl under-" miss me with that bs

[sn0tcl0wn]

"all you have to do is hold on until you're a legal adult" lmao dude im almost 25 and im still stuck with my parents. stop acting like everyone can just leave at 18 and that isn't a form of privilege. like what about those of us with no friends and no one outside of our families? we get left to the wayside by the ones who assume we can just leave whenever we want because no one ever bothers to help us. we're the ones that get lumped in with the immature parasites who want to stay home because we have no skills or abilities we can utilize and get out. please stop telling kids they can just leave at 18 as a blanket statement. many actually can't. most kids in abusive homes cannot just leave, specifically survivors of religious abuse. there is an entire population of people who got pulled out of school (if they ever went to begin with) and had their heads filled with lies, were indoctrinated, and raised to fit in specific boxes (in my case; traditional housewife) thus making it very difficult for us to do anything with ourselves when we do inevitably leave. we always end up back with our families and in the same or similar toxic situations even if it's not the cult like ones. and of course i say religious but literally any form of childhood abuse that results in complete isolation will make it much harder to leave than just heading off to college or moving out at 18.

do not hold on to the idea that you can just leave at 18. if you end up where im at you'll be drowning in self loathing and regrets because you couldn't do it. instead just stick to more vague affirmations like "i'll be out some day", "nothing is permanent", "a long time isn't forever", etc. giving yourself set dates and times to get out of a situation and putting numbers to shit does nothing but put unnecessary pressure on you. i ended up having all my hard work pushed back because the people i tried to escape sabotaged my entire life and left me for dead causing me to first go to my dad who just genuinely had no idea what to do with me and now my mother who's toxic as all hell and has no idea how badly i was abused causing her to respond to my symptoms and stuntedness with hostility or bitter annoyance. rushing to get out at 18 made me the family disappointment because i wasn't ready and my abusers still had too much control. but i was always told 18 was that golden age when you can just Leave. it isn't. especially not for anyone in the younger millennial/gen z range because the economy is trash. stop letting people in their late 30s and older tell you you can just leave at 18. they're from a different world and honestly? everyone who gets away from abuse and toxicity at 18/19 probably weren't isolated and had somewhere or someone to lean on to some degree.

if you're someone who has no one and you're in the 16 age range, do not bet on just two more years. hope and work for it but do not look at people who can do it and automatically think you're gonna be ready if you haven't even been allowed to go to school. the isolation is enough to make you unready for most situations and many times people like us go back because we need to. do not put yourself in a position where you need to go back. work so that you never need to go back at all ever again but be patient because 18 is in no way ready if you're an isolated person like me. and there are a lot more of us who slip thru the cracks every day than anyone knows or wants to admit.

stop making these blanket statements about just leaving at 18 if you weren't 13 or under in 2008 and especially in a discussion about toxic and abusive families because most of us can't afford it to begin with and many people in emotionally abusive situations are victims of some form of brainwashing or extreme, forced isolation that results in mental problems, stunted development and social skills, and will often have to go back by age 20 because they left too soon thanks to that advice.

and if you want a better solution then how about we as a fuckin society start cracking down on these families and stop putting the responsibility to not be hurt anymore on literal kids who just recently have legal rights as adults, eh? how about we don't just fuckin ignore it when a kid gets pulled outta school and falls off the face of the planet like so many oft do? take people in without making them feel like burdens. just don't let kids fuckin slip through the cracks man. my life never needed to be this way but no one gave a shit about me outside of my fucked up family until college where people still would not help me get out of that house officially and for good. no one would help me with anything period because i should have known that. it's the apathy and willful ignorance of others that truly causes us to be harmed to such extreme degrees. stop telling kids they can get out at 18 unless you personally intend on bringing them in if and when shit hits the fan or are willing to sit and explain basic adulting shit to someone in their 20s without being annoyed. if you can't or won't do those things then you can't go around telling 16 year olds they only have two more years because you're creating another generation of disenchanted and virtually homeless twenty-somethings. especially now. this isolation shit is gonna last like a year or two if the influenza comparisons are right. these kids wont be able to move out at 18 unless they're taken care of. period. use your fucking head and think about current reality instead of looking back 18 years and saying "well it worked for me". like honestly fuck you.

and to those who are stuck like me, i love you and we will be okay. this sucks so fucking much but we're still alive so we can make it to where we all wanna be in the end. it's never too late to do anything for yourself and it's never shameful to take your time or go back to your abusers when you have nowhere else to go. they made it like that on purpose and no matter how it feels it's not your fault. if you're like me and went back to less bad but still toxic family, you didn't make a mistake, you just tried taking a responsible route when being faced with homelessness and got screwed. this is not your fault and you will overcome and get out just like you got out of the last one. it's so easy to hate oneself like this especially seeing people so flippantly act like 18 is the golden age of stability and maturity where we can leave home and live as an adult. this isn't the 1950s, we don't live in that world anymore. if you're alive right now and you still have the urge to leave, then you're doing just fine and it won't ever be too late for you until you die or, worse, choose complacence. just work towards a better future and don't beat yourself up when that future isn't tomorrow or go putting time limits on milestones and escape plans. it helps no one but those who want to use it as ammo when you come back in need. and many of us often do. ain't no shame in it but the shame society and its constructs put on us. you're still a kid and you're gonna be okay even if you're not ready yet. it'll happen, trust me.

i just really felt the need to get this off my chest because i never want anyone else to cry every birthday past their 18th because they "should be on (their) own by now" and i am so sick of everyone putting that age on this weird pedestal. i also don't want anyone who was in a cult like situation to feel ashamed or helpless when that happens or when they have no choice but to go back. but mostly i want people to be more fucking mindful of what they say regarding things like moving out at 18, especially if they're over 30. we need to undo the harm the "leave at 18" mindset has done as well as make an active effort to actually stop or at least help people get away from abuse and make sure no one ends up like me. i have no reason to hate myself and yet, because everyone loves shoving it in my face how supposedly easy it is, i do. let's not do this to gen z kids, guys. like please do not do this to them. i want everyone right the fuck now to realize that they're all isolated very much like i was and the ones in bad situations will come out a lot like me.

[faresramettas]

160219: skam italia x gay center event (part 1)

it’s going to be really hard for me to recap everything that happened yesterday, so i’m going to split this in two parts: one dedicated to the conference and one to the moment when we actually met them and took pictures etc. i’m sure all the things i’m going to report were already said yesterday in tweets and stuff but i wanted to have a place to write them all down cause my memory is so bad. warning: this got long.

the conference 

first of all, kudos to the gay center’s staff. so many people came they couldn’t fit them all in the conference room, so they decided to have a second shorter session so that no one would go home disappointed. they also said that afterwards we’d be able to take selfies and meet pietro, rocco and federico

spoiler alert: pietro, rocco and federico are literal angels. so sweet, funny, honest, humble, intelligent and well-spoken. ludovico bessegato is confident, smart and a savage. he dragged the whole fandom and yet we still love him cause he’s a genius

as soon as ludovico stepped on stage he made it clear that this was not an event about skam only and to please respect that. he said that they wouldn’t talk about season 3 and not to ask about it, and that’s why no info came out

the conference started with a presentation of the gay center. their representative introduced the work they do with the gay help line and talked about really heartbreaking cases of lgbt youth (12 and 14 year olds) who called to report violence from their own families. it was really hard to hear. they showed statistics of discrimination in italy and other data. their point was that skam s2 shows a positive reality where martino is able to come out to his friends and live his truth and his love, but unfortunately we have to be aware that these terrible realities exist too, especially in this country

the skam section started with a question to ludovico about his choice to include the voice messages in the first scene of s2. we watched that scene. he said he knew he wanted to do it from the start but recording and adding the voice messages was the last thing they did, one week before the release of the first clip. he came to the gay center in rome and met the young people and recorded the messages with them (i’m sorry, i’m not sure this is accurate) and he was moved to tears. that’s when he realized how important what they were doing with this season was. he said it was important for him, before showing the easiness of two people who can be together without external hardships, to start the season with the voice messages, as a reminder that these realities also exist

the host asked what was the most important thing for him, what he felt more responsible showing, and ludovico said for him it was the reaction of a group of heterosexual friends to one of their friends coming out. without dramatizing it or simplifying it too much. so the coming out with gio was the hardest scene cause there was a lot of weight on it. giovanni also had to be worthy of the moment. i loved this part: he said for him it was fundamental that giovanni touched martino right after his coming out, because it shows that nothing has changed between them, that they can still have a physical friendship, because so many times this doesn’t happen, straight friends pull back from/become less physical with their gay friends. their friendship not only hasn’t changed but is made more precious now

ludovico researched stuff like the gay street and grindr by experimenting them himself. he went to the gay street in rome and had a mission to get hit on (and he was lmao) and who did he meet that night? ROCCO, who went to the audition the morning after! incredible, he said he didn’t know rocco’s sexual orientation or anything but because he had seen him at the gay street he knew he could help give his input to the series, and of course pietro was precious as well to help with the representation

we watched the coming out scene and it was federico’s turn for questions (you could hear he had a cold, bb), the host asked him about how he felt/prepared for it and he said he felt a lot of pressure but he basically let martino lead him, he trusted his character that he had worked so hard on day after day and he also leaned on ludovico tersigni and bessegato. he hopes as many people as possible can relate to that scene, see themselves in it and live it

federico said the series enlighted him and made him reflect on lgbt themes and problems. he was never one to use homophobic slurs to follow the logic of the “pack” but it’s a thing, when you’re 15 or 16 you think you have to conform to what your friends say and do even if it’s harmful but this is why we have to spread awareness (”bisogna evitare il grigiume dell’uniformità” - we have to avoid the greyness of uniformity, he’s such a poet)

special mention to federico’s beautiful sweater, apparently he bought it in oslo, that sweater made his shoulders look even broader and it’s my new religion 

we watched the milan uramaki/wedding proposal scene and BITCH I HAD NEVER REWATCHED THAT PART CAUSE IT HURTS i swear we were all holding our breaths. that’s when the host asked rocco about gay marriage and he said italy is very late but at least we have civil unions now and it’s been hard fought for. it’s important to talk about gay marriage not so much for younger gens but for older generations. discriminations are always present so you can’t relax even when you reach a goal, you have to fight for the next one

when asked how he pictures his wedding, rocco said marriage is very far in the future for him, but whoever it’s going to be with his wedding is going to be very normal (”everyone naked is not a bad idea tho”) and y’all already know this part, he said he’s a person who’s experimented a lot and he HATES LABELS, for himself and for others (so maybe don’t call him pan king, u know what i’m saying). he’s experimented a lot and tried to figure out what he likes and he likes a little bit of everything (ME PIACE NPO DE TUTTO. i was there. i was there when he said that. iconic) he understands the need for labels cause they can help you identify yourself and give a sense of belonging but there’s also the risk that they can be too limiting

we watched fili’s speech and fede blew a kiss to pietro??? my heart

EMMA STA A ROSICA’ - cit pietro turano (emma is jealous af)

at this point besse DRAGGED US TO HELL AND BACK he said the fandom gets mad at emma and when characters say things that are wrong but it’s hypocritical (cause it’s a realistic show, no?)

he dragged the tumblr sjw politically correctness of fandom and something about how we all say we accept and love everyone but then WE are the first who feel the need to put labels on people and people in boxes. he said IT’S COOL TO HAVE NOORA’S QUOTE IN YOUR BIOS BUT DO ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY STICK TO ITS MEANING? YOU’RE THE FIRST WHO AREN’T KIND smth like that i swear i was a bit stunned

he also really didn’t like how everyone spoiled scenes and clips, ruining the experience for everyone while also creating false expectations, cause we expect things to happen and get mad if they don’t (ngl as a person who hasn’t watched the og i was like yeah tell em). idk, basically at the end of the speech all i got is that he’s an emma apologist

pietro said so many amazing things, like that when we have that moment of awareness, when we realize we are victims of behavioral schemes, prejudices and stereotypes deeply rooted in society, that’s when we can change the world. idk he’s seriously such a well-spoken smart person and he’s only 22

he also said in a video i have posted here that positive lgbt representations in tv shows/films are SO important for young people cause they need to see that there’s a positive reality out there for them too, that gay characters aren’t only the psychos, the ones who kill themselves or suffer

host dragged ludo for not including a beyonce song in the gay season but he said we can expect satisfactions from fili in s3

fede took the gay test and ludo told him the answers to get the totally hetero results, but when ludo took the test his result was Not totally hetero

rocco knows he looks like edward cullen, actually it was his first girlfriend when he was like 14 and before twilight was a thing that told him that he looked like cedric diggory aka rob pattinson. when twilight happened it all went downhill. the vampire outfit in the halloween clip was Not Casual. actually they had a line when someone told nico he looked like edward but it didn’t make the cut

fede said the hardest scenes, not because he couldn’t get in character but because of the expectations and pressures were the ones with mamma rametta (<333) and the coming out with gio. but the scene he hated the most was the i wanna be yours scene cause he said he went cross-eyed (è venuta di merda - it came out like shit)

host asked who’s top and bottom and they all laughed about it don’t worry (although i know someone asked again in the second session? and they said they switch idk, whatever)

at the end there was not a lot of time for questions but as soon as the host asked if we had any i IMMEDIATELY shot my hand up cause i thought i would regret it if i didn’t ask. so i stood up and pietro came to give me the mic (<33333333) and I WAS SO NERVOUS but i thanked them for all their work and then i asked rocco how he felt representing a character that’s not only lgbt but suffers from a mi, that he did a WONDERFUL job doing it because he helped so many people who suffer from bpd/mi to identify with niccolò (i accidentally said multiple personality disorder instead of borderline and i am so embarrassed but i swear. i couldn’t. think. i apologized too) if he felt he had more responsibility and if he could talk about the milan scene. he said he did feel a double responsibility and an additional pressure because henrik holm already did a splendid job, but he dealt with it like any other role, worked on the character like any other and tried to do it justice. he didn’t treat it differently. the milan scene was hard cause it was the very last one they did but they also had so much fun. he told us about bessegato pranking him and making him yell TABBBBASCOOOOO when he was running around naked in milan

i feel like i should mention that in the second session rocco said federico is a really good kisser (”bacia da dio” literally means “kisses like a god”)

that’s all i have and sorry this was so long. the conference was truly incredible. but meeting them afterwards was even more so and that’ll be part 2