#they tried to race them once and Vanessa had to run in and stop them in a panic lmao

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I’ve realised that Roxy is probably very experienced with forklifts given how many there are dotted around her Raceway and various other places. You can’t tell me she wouldn’t fuck around and find out with them at least once lmao

[ther3allyra]

hii ^^ since you're taking Vanessa requests could you do Vanessa and reader who's really introverted and shy? like reader always tries to avoid eye contact and all 😭?

im sorry if that was a little hard to read but yeah feel free to ignore if you dont want to do it!

Please look at me.

Vanessa Shelly x Reader

Summary: Your extremely shy and have an obvious crush on the blonde police officer, maybe once she makes a move you’ll gain some confidence

Warnings: N/A

Word count: 918

A/N: HII lovely! Thank you for this request I absolutely loved writing this, apologise for this being later than I intended but school was busy, it’s also a little on the shorter side so I hope you don’t mind. Enjoy<3

You sat in the office bored, you longed for the time Vanessa would show up to spend time with you, not that you’d even be able to talk to her I mean the only words you e ever managed to speak to her was ‘Hi’ and ‘Y/N’. Most of the time it was a simple nod or a quick smile you’d give her before looking away shyly rubbing your arm. You longed for the moment you would be able to talk to her, hug her, kiss her. To say the least you had a HUGE crush on her, and you wanted to do something about it but couldn’t.

As you sat watching the monster screen you saw a car pull up just to the side, the vehicle almost staying out of view from the security camera hanging over the entrance door. Standing up quickly with such excitement that you flung open the office door and ran for the entrance, stopping suddenly in your tracks. The jingle of keys. Keys? Vanessa doesn’t have keys but you didn’t have much time to think before you had an Abby running straight for you.

‘Y/N!!!’ She squealed with delight, as you opened your arms bringing her in for a big hug. You look up to see your older brother Mike just closing the door, it must’ve been a double shift with him, had you forgotten?. You looked from Abby who was still giving you a big hug and giggling to Mike, back to Abby, and then back to Mike again mouthing the words ‘what is she doing here?’

Mike took a step forward as your little sister jumped out of your arms, saying something of ‘be right back’ and ‘saying hi to friends’. ‘I couldn’t find a babysitter, Max isn’t answering the phone’ Mike shrug at you, you honestly couldn’t feel to guilty as the night dragged on a little even though it was 3:46Am and you knew you couldn’t actually afford a proper babysitter, that’s why once you were old enough you started working here with your older brother.

As the night dragged itself along you longed wished Vanessa would turn up, maybe she would maybe she wouldn’t?, again it wasn’t as if you could talk to her which you so desperately wanted to do that it was obvious. Abby was busy trying to play a claw machine as Freddy and Mike stood next to her, to say the least it didn’t look as if the animatronic and your brother liked each other very much but both you and Abby hand gotten along great with all of them, you having the closest bond with Foxy. FOXY! You could ask his opinion on how you could talk to Vanessa, he couldn’t exactly speak but the amount you talk about her on the nights she usually calls he could tell you liked her very much. You looked around for the animatronic and once you saw him near the front door you ran for him.

‘Foxy!’ You called as you skidded to a halt near him, your breath catches in your throat as you realised Vanessa had actually turned up, she was most likely talking to the fox animatronic. You snuck a glance up at her and noticed both her and foxy staring at you so you stared down at the floor, your cheeks heating up a tad. You tried your best to avoid eye contact with her but you so desperately wanted to be with her. But now? You felt your heart race and you stood in your place.

‘Y/N?, are you ok?’ She questioned looking at you up and down in your spot, all you could do was nod and let out a simple ‘mhm’, not wanting to move, hoping the ground would open up and swallow you then and there to save you from the embarrassment.

The entire place was silent until Mike had popped up, he probably left Abby with the other animatronics. ‘Hey Ness!’ He smiled approaching you and Vanessa, the ground shook a little as Foxy had walked away. Mike ruffled the top of your hair as you glanced at him. You were so deep in thought you hadn’t noticed the conversation, and mikes watch beeping 6Am. It was 6Am and you hadn’t even spoken to Vanessa!!. Mike walked away to go and grab Abby as she’d most likely fallen asleep on one of the animatronics.

‘I have to go, but it was nice seeing you again Y/N!’ She smiled, but before she left she stepped forward embracing you in her arms. ‘Maybe next time you look at me, huh?’ She smiled and gave you a small kiss on the cheek, before stepping back giving you a smile and walking to her car.

She hugged you, SHE LITERALLY HUGGED YOU!! You got so excited, even the small kiss on the cheek there was some interaction between you and there was a glimmer of hope that you’d gain more confidence next time, and even more hope there was a chance she’d like you back. You followed Mike who was carrying Abby in his arms out to both of your guys car, you waved bye to Mike as he strapped Abby in, getting into your own car. You watched as Vanessa’s car drove by as she honked at you not long followed after Mike’s. You’d probably go grab some breakfast before going back to to Mike, and that’s what you decided to do, extremely happy with how the shift went.

[herwritingartcowboy]

Haii!! I love your writing so much >< May I request a Black Bulls x Black Bull Reader fanfiction where the reader is a scaredy cat, and she overcomes her fear and saves them all in a mission?

Fandom: Black Bulls

Character(s): Black Bulls

Warning(s):

Readers Gender: Gn

Since you were small everyone would call you a "scaredy cat" and it bothered you. But that didn't stop you from wanting to become a magic knight as you still wanted to help people.

The black bulls understood your predicament and would try to help you the best they could. In fights sometimes you would freeze like grimoar wasn't stick and you couldn't get nothing out of your mouth. You would always apologize but the black bulls never held it against you but you always felt guilty because you know you can help so you have been trying your hardest to get over your fears.

The black bulls were all sent on a mission about some attack and believing that they may be from the diamond kingdom. You, Grey, Gauche, Gordon, Finral, Charmy and Vanessa were helping locals to escape. But once everyone was at a safe and through Finrals portal you can all tell that the fight was getting crazy and closer. You and everyone were getting ready for the attacks coming your way but when you saw the multiple diamond mages and their magic your body had a flight or fight mode, while the others were fighting you were flight. You had tried to do long range attacks as to not get too close but can still help, while your mind and heart are racing.

But you didn't know what happened just a minute ago everyone was fine but the group of attackers had a mage surprise attack them, their magic being some time slowing magic, and Asta was out.

The attackers noticed you as they all started to walk towards as they taunted you, "What a pretty little thing. It excites me to hurt that pretty face" "Just look at them, they are just shaking in fear".

It was true you started to back up, walking backwards as your eyes darted around as you saw your friends trying to get out of time slowing spell as Asta was shouting for you to run and for them not to hurt you.

When you look at all your friends seeing them covered in cuts and blood it starts to make your blood boil and before you know it you start to attack the mages. Your battle went long enough for Asta to get back up and free everyone. Now making you fight alongside your friends.

When you all came back everyone cheered as they all felt proud of you. "You were amazing out there Y/n!" "It was about time but yeah you were great out there" "Come on Y/n fight me and don't hold yourself back". Asta, Noelle, and Luck said getting into your face as you laughed rubbing the back of your neck "Thanks guys but I'm not sure I can do that again any time soon", you said till you felt a muscular hand on your shoulder while you turned to see it was your captain Yami.

"I see you are making progress kids make sure you keep up the good work", Yami said as you smiled. The rest of the day you all ate and that night you can say you felt good with yourself. You may still be somewhat of a scaredy cat but that won't stop you from making sure your friends are safe, because they are your family.

[vampirelova92]

The Substitute Vol 5.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Media Storm .2

July•

Anai E.

For the rest of the afternoon Anai focused on arts and crafts activities for the kids and Malikai joined in on playing Xbox until it was lunchtime. It was fun for her to watch every coming moment of the many ways Mayson and Malikai were bonding.

"You're pretty good at Fortnite dad, it came out while you were sleeping." Mayson told Malikai who smiled at his statement.

"Did it? I've actually always been good at video games, you didn't get your gift from your mom." Malikai told him as they turned the console off hearing Anai announce that lunch was ready.

"That makes a lot of sense, mom is definitely not a gamer." Mayson retorted as he followed his dad to the dining room table.

"Exactly." Malikai agreed.

"I saw you last night by the way." Mayson told him making Malikai stop in his tracks and he ran into the back of him from the abrupt halt of his feet.

"What?" Malikai turned around looking down at him with his eyes wide.

"Don't worry I won't tell mom you snuck in last night." Mayson whispered moving around him to continue out the living room towards the dining room.

His heart racing suddenly Malikai could've sworn he was careful last night but not careful enough to get by his clever son, "Shit."

Once everyone sat at the table with chicken sandwiches and plain chips in front of them talk about what the rest of the day included was going to be.

"I've always wanted to build a treehouse in the backyard." Mayson mentioned before biting down on his sandwich.

"Mayson." Ana's eyed him, "We've already talked about that, trying to bring it up because your father's here."

Malikai looked between them both chewing his food in silence, while Vanessa kept her eyes down at her plate with a smile.

"That's because he is finally here ma and we can get a second opinion on that I won't get hurt if dad helps Kenneth and I." Mayson argued back.

The statement made Malikai smile to himself but knew that Anai being stubborn, would take it as a defiance to her authority so he said nothing.

"I don't care if your father was sitting here or not. The answer is no Mayson, and for talkback you can go spend the next two hours in your room. No TV, phone, Xbox or Nintendo, got it?" Anai turned her head to the side at him surprised at his behavior suddenly.

"If he was sitting here or not?" Mayson looked at his mother with anger and hurt, "It's been or not for seven years, I've lost my appetite I'll go to my room now."

"Mayson!" Anai yelled watching him leave from the table to run upstairs.

"Nai." Malikai placed his hand on her arm as she tried to stand up and go after Mayson, "I'll go."

~

Kaylee A.

Tapping her emerald green gel polished nails on her black marble kitchen counter in frustration while Jasmine along with Andrea laughed while sitting at her dining room table sipping on margaritas Kaylee took a huge huff, "Are y'all serious right now?"

"It's honestly all I can do with the irony of how her ass ending up treating Joe. In the end I just think she's being petty as hell." Jasmine shook her head while picking her phone up off the table to unlock and scroll on her social apps.

"I agree, like you literally broke up with him and hooked up with his brother, now you want to be jealous because he's happy with another woman?" Andrea shook her head, "That girl need to focus on her own damn relationship before she lose the other damn brother."

"Riiight!" Jasmine laughed raising her glass to clink it against Andrea's.

"So y'all advice is..? Because she's part of our friend group." Kaylee walked out her kitchen to sit down at the table with them.

"Joe isn't the same guy he was seven years ago, point blank period and guess who obviously notices it now the most?" Jasmine asked looking over at Kaylee with a grim look.

"Wow." Andrea shook her head taking another sip of her drink.

"If he's who you choose, fuck it she had her chance to choose on waiting until he was ready to be serious about an actual relationship...or.." Jasmine trailed off looking over at Andrea.

"Fuck his brother?" Andrea asked like that was the right answer seriously then she busted out laughing.

"Yerp aha!" Jasmine laughed pointing at Andrea.

"I can't with ya'll." Kaylee shook her head laying her head on her hand while closing her eyes.

"Fuck how she feels, she can't respect your blossoming relationship with Joe because for whatever reason she doesn't want him to be happy screw that." Jasmine shook her head, "Why aren't you drinking?"

"I'm about to make one right now after what you just said." Kaylee sighed standing up to go back into her kitchen.

"We haven't been in touch with each other forever, I don't need Erica's usual drama bullshit when it comes to the guys in her life she screws up with." Jasmine spoke raising her glass to take another sip.

"What are we even suppose to be doing tonight?" Kaylee asked while pouring Jasmines brand that had been doing very well.

"Bryce said something about hitting up a new club that opened downtown, trying to reign anyone in that wants to go." Jasmine nodded, "Pretty sure Joe will ask if you want to go at any second. That is if you guys don't already have plans."

"No." Kaylee shook her head coming to sit back down, "I haven't seen him since the Fourth of July party Myla had on Thursday."

"Wait you've at least talked to him since then right?" Andrea asked sitting up in her chair, "I'm Bi and Joe is a hot piece of ass."

"Tell me again how this all went down at the party again because it's just an unfucking-believable story." Jasmine took another sip of her drink leaning back in her chair.

Taking a deep breath Kaylee shook her head, "She basically must've seen us talking and me thinking we're cool told her about getting to trying to get to know him and she said that I was breaking girl code."

"Girl code? Kaylee no, fuck that, mutual friends with this person that you barely know and just hang with because Anai does." Jasmine defended.

"I agree." Andrea nodded, "Like I said don't ruin whatever bond you've created over that girl, I wouldn't."

"Hell no." Jasmine added in, "Joe is a good guy."

"Thanks y'all, are we still going to this outing though?" Kaylee asked taking a sip of her margarita.

"Mhm, let's do it man." Jasmine finished her glass, "Dre and I already brought with us what we're wearing."

"Okay I'll go search in my closet for something." Kaylee stood up taking her drink with her.

"Hell yeah and we shall be judges of your 'fuck you bitch the boy is mine' outfit." Dre laughed following behind them to head upstairs to Kaylee's bedroom.

"Dre you've had too many of those." Jasmine laughed, "Going to be sleep before we even leave out."

Kaylee phone rang showing Joe's name across her screen making her stop in her tracks once she was in her walk in closet, "Shit."

"What?" Jasmine asked sitting on her bed.

"He's calling." Kaylee told them.

"Answer!" They both yelled in unison.

Kaylee laughed at them answering the phone and stepping back deeper into her closet after closing the door, "Hey."

"Hey, where you been hiding woman?" Joe asked like he wasn't trying to sound like he didn't care.

"I just been home honestly, hanging with Jasmine and Dre today. What's up?" Kaylee asked sitting down on the black stool that was in front of her full body mirror.

"I want to see you." Joe told her, "What you doing tonight?"

"Um, as far as going out nothing really." Kaylee smiled missing hearing his voice.

"There's this club that Bryce want to check out, you want to meet me there? Pretty sure Jasmine already know about it." Joe explained.

"I'd love to meet you there J." Kaylee told him softly biting down on her bottom lip.

"Alright see you soon." Joe spoke with a spark in his voice.

"Okay, bye." Kaylee smiled feeling her heart pound in her chest.

"Bye."

Ending the call, Kaylee closed her eyes placing the top tip of her phone to her chin.

"Bitch let's get to it!" Jasmine yelled from her bedroom making her and Dre laugh in sync.

~

Anai E.

Standing over the sink two hours later to clean up after having banana splits for a midday dessert, Anai noticed Mayson putting his white ceramic plate with his spoon on the counter with a sullen face as he looked to the floor. Malikai leaned against the nearby wall watching him after they ate their dessert together upstairs during their talk.

"I'm sorry mom." Mayson spoke slowly looking up, to place his light brown eyes on Anai's face.

"I forgive you Mayson. Go play with Nessa outside with what daylight y'all have left, I will discuss with your father more about this tree house." Anai placed her black dish rag in the sink.

"Yes mama." Mayson replied before turning around to look at his dad, "Thanks dad."

Malikai nodded at him watching as he ran outside to go find Vanessa with a satisfied look taking a deep sigh he went to sit at the dining room table.

"Whatever you said to him, thanks. He's definitely growing into..." Anai trailed off shaking her head. Feeling her phone vibrate in her lap she unlocked it to see the notification.

Jazz🙄: hey going to a new club tonight, you and Kai down to go? 5:05PM

Anai: nah, we're babysitting this weekend. Ken had to go out of town. 5:06PM

"A different person than the sweet little boy you remember a year ago?" Malikai smiled looking over at her.

"He doesn't even want me to hold his hand anymore." Anai crossed her arms over her chest looking out to the backyard.

"Believe me he does still just not in the way it started. Promise no one will have to take a trip to the ER when treehouses start going into construction in backyards." Malikai chuckled while sliding his phone out of his front hoodie pouch.

Anai walked over to him raising her right hand his way only outstretching her pinky finger, "I have your word?"

Looking from his phone to her hand Malikai smiled at it that she still did the same thing years later before raising his hand to hers, "Yes dork."

"It's like I'm slowly starting to deal with a preteen way too early." Anai slipped her hand out of Malikai's biting her bottom lip.

"I was the same at his age." Malikai informed her with a smirk placing his hand back in his lap.

"Going zero to one hundred million when you don't get your way?" Anai asked sitting down in the next chair at the table by him.

Malikai licked over his bottom lip before answering with, "I know you're not talking right now, he don't just get it from me."

"Yeah right, more from you than me. The sun is slowly setting again." Anai mentioned putting her sights back on the view outside.

"Hm, so you say." Malikai kept his gaze back down at his phone, biting inside his jaw on what he was reading suddenly standing to his feet out his chair, "Nai..."

Instantly his phone started ringing showing that his assistant Rebecca was calling him, "Fuck..."

Looking back at him Anai was confused watching him walk off to answer the call as well as Mayson and Vanessa running back to the patio entrance of the backyard.

"Mom what's the plan for tonight?" Mayson asked first, then looked at Malikai walking away to the front door.

"Yeah I'm actually hungry again." Vanessa took her hair out of her ponytail to retie it over again.

"Um, movie slash pizza night and no phones." Anai suggested looking over at Malikai who still had his back turned walking into the front living area.

"Seriously mom?" Mayson pouted up at her.

"Yes it's important that while spending time together we keep our attention on us and not on them so cough 'em up." Anai reached out both her hands to them waiting hoping that whatever broke in the media suddenly blew over by tomorrow.

"Okay..." They both said a little sadly handing over their phones.

"Go take your baths while I order the pizza." Anai told them while putting their phones down on the table.

While the kids watched the decision of Marvel movie night and ate pizza in the family room, Anai popped popcorn in the kitchen on the stove.

"Hey." Malikai walked up looking from the stove to her with a calm look.

"Everything ok?" Anai asked with the fact he had been outside in the driveway on the phone for almost over an hour.

"Yeah my team is currently doing everything possible to get media headlines under control. It's leaked through some unknown source, and we're trying to find where it came from." Malikai explained looking towards the family room.

"No phones rule for the rest of the night." Anai told him while shaking her big black pot as the kernels inside started to cook faster.

"Understood, that includes me?" Malikai asked with a smile her way.

"You're excluded being the center of trying to get this under control the best way how with your team." Anai looked over at him, "Mr. CEO."

"I won't know more until the morning." Malikai leaned on the counter with his back crossing his arms over his chest.

"Okay, just keep me updated." Anai turned the knobs on her gas stove off to pour the popcorn in separate plastic red bowls on the counter.

"I will." Malikai picked up one of the red bowls popping some popcorn in his mouth, "Let's focus on the important things right now."

"I'll try." Anai sighed picking up two more bowls off the counter following behind him to go watch the movie with the kids.

Into the third Iron Man movie Anai noticed Vanessa sleep leaning on her arm while Mayson was doing the same to Malikai it made her smile looking over at them.

"They are zonked." Malakai lowly spoke rubbing his right eye with the back of his hand, "I got 'em."

"You're sure?" Anai asked watching him pick up Mayson in his arms before scooping up Vanessa next.

"Mhm you can relax mom of two for the past seven years." Malikai muttered with a small smile headed towards the stairs to put the kids in bed.

Leaning back on the sofa Anai used the remote to cut the TV off before closing her eyes, as much as she was glad for the distraction of movie night the thought of someone leaking things about Malikai's family to the media started taking over her mind. Over the years she thought about only the enemies that she's met or knew of that would want to hurt Malikai. Including Ebony into that mix only made the pool of people bigger, with knowing how she was. It made her wonder if Ebony was even trying to do what she can to find out who the source of the leak was.

Opening her eyes she took a deep sigh staring at the ceiling before standing off the couch to clean up popcorn that fell on it and the floor, "Bastards I swear."

"This has been a fun weekend." Malikai came back downstairs to help clean up, "Only eleven thirty two."

"Babysitting isn't all that bad when you have help, I'm glad you're here. Mayson is having the best summer he could possibly ask for just so you know." Anai smiled over at him.

"Same for me, I look forward to every future summer being just as fun." Malikai folded blankets while Anai brought the bowls filled with empty capri sun pouches in them.

"Me too." Anai agreed while starting to wash the bowls in the sink, "Have you heard anything from your-"

"No phones for the night remember?" Malikai asked leaning against the counter watching Anai.

"I said that rule didn't apply to you just for the simple fact that-"

"Not every headline is going to be fully eradicated probably until tomorrow afternoon. Meaning I don't need to be on my phone looking at the shit I already know regardless. My phone is off for the rest of the night till nine in the AM, it's okay I'm not worrying about it. You shouldn't either okay?" Malikai gave a sincere look that he was sure of his words.

"Alright." Anai shook her head continuing to wash the last bowl.

"I'm going to go ahead and head upstairs to lay down alright?" He started to walk out the kitchen.

"Yeah see you in a bit." Anai replied ringing out the dish rag and putting dried dishes away.

Once the kitchen was cleaned for good Anai turned off lights and headed upstairs to her room. Opening her door she didn't see Malikai nowhere in sight.

"Where is he?" Anai asked herself looking back down the hall.

Going back past the kids room to the guest room tiptoeing, she grabbed the golden doorknob opening the black door to see Malikai lying on the bed of a dark blue comforter on his stomach with his head on a pillow faced away from her still fully clothed.

"What are you doing in here?" Anai asked turning on the light looking around the room.

"Lying down like a normal human would do after a long day of looking after kids." He replied a little muffled from the pillow he was using.

"I get that by why are you doing that in here and not in my room?" Anai asked confused turning on the second light switch walking more in the room, closing the door behind her.

"The way you strong handled me earlier, almost busting my knee open on the counter before the kids saw us only hugging gave me the hint I need. So I'm in here." Malikai responded, "Can you turn the light back off."

"They're sleep now," Anai giggled, "Get up, come on."

"Mm mm, they might wake up and I don't need you pushing me off the damn bed next." Malikai answered not moving his body an inch, laying like a log.

"Kai." Anai poked his left side with a finger, "Seriously I'm not going to push you off the bed."

"You're not going to just lay and go to sleep either if I do come." Malikai countered.

"I'll lock my door." Anai laughed at him and his silliness, but she really wasn't playing either. Climbing on top of him she sat on his back leaning down to put her mouth on his right ear softly biting it, "Kai..."

"Remember earlier about zero to a trillion in not getting what you want?" Malikai asked with his eyes closed.

"Oh my gosh, we said a hundred million." Anai corrected him.

"I know the trillion for you, biting my ear because you know it turns me on." Malikai told her smiling on his pillow with his eyes still closed.

"It's been over a week." Anai spoke on his ear before licking behind it softly from the top down to the diamond in his earlobe.

"Anai Ericsson." Malikai groaned, "Get off me."

"No, I meant what I said about missing you and I just got off of my six days of mother nature." Anai whined in his ear squeezing the sides of his torso with her thighs.

"You have plenty of vibrators that I have personally bought you." Malikai replied with a serious tone that sounded like he was struggling to maintain.

Anai sucked her teeth at him climbing off top of him, "Do you truly forgive me? Or are you making excuse right now?"

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden? Seriously?" Malikai spoke on his pillow.

"What other reason would you not want to lay in bed with me Malikai?" Anai asked starting to feel like all her efforts to try and apologize wasn't enough.

Malikai laughed into his pillow as she grabbed another pillow off the bed hitting the back of his head with it, "You're being absurd and going to wake the kids up."

"Whatever." Anai groaned leaving out the room not turning the light out and closing the door.

Going back to her room she changed into an all black XL tshirt only and got in her bed laying on her side horny and irritated, "Childish asshole."

Five minutes later in the darkness she heard her bedroom door open and close then the lock clicked making her smile as she felt her covers being pulled back the smell of him invading her nostrils sliding in bed next to her.

"We're going to sleep." Malikai whispered in her right ear once he was fully intertwined with her body under her sheets.

"Kai." Anai begged with her eyes still closed, feeling by his body warmth that he only had his boxers on his body.

"What?" He asked holding her closer to him.

"Whispering in my ear and feeling your dick rub against my right ass cheek, no we're not." Anai said trying to turn her body towards him but his hold on her was strong.

"Shhhh." Malikai softly spoke on her ear, "That's because it's been a week just be still."

Using her mouth she used her teeth to softly bite down on the skin of his arm before licking it, "I can't."

"Nai..." Malikai breathed on the back of her neck, "I came in here so you wouldn't be mad at me."

"And..?" Anai pressed.

"Because you're my beloved. Now sleep please." Malikai sighed deeply feeling Anai moving her backside against him.

"And what?" Anai asked more lowly and sensually.

"It's obvious we can't sleep without being with each other anymore." He answered.

"Then why you locked the door?" Anai asked smiling on his warm strong arm before looking back at him as his head laid on her pillow.

"Because..."

"Because....?"

"I told you, I'm not trying to get pushed off the fuckin' bed."

"How can I push you when you're holding me tightly like this where I can't even move?"

"Go to sleep."

"Put me to sleep, then I will."

"Nai."

"Kai."

Turning slowly a little after a few minutes from his grip loosening on her, Anai connected her lips to Malikai's pushing her tongue past his lips "You forgive me?"

Reciprocating her kiss he pushed his tongue back against hers as she tried to move her body to move atop of his, "Yeah."

Not thinking about it Anai moved her face closer biting down on his bottom then top lip. Gripping her arms tightly he pushed her back down on the bed to lay on her stomach.

Leaning his mouth on her ear keeping his grip on her he grumbled, "You've always enjoyed trying to tell me what to do though."

Anai smiled biting her bottom lip, "I'm not I just-"

Her words halted by his hand easing its way slowly down her back by his fingertips got caught in her throat.

"Yes you are." Malikai whispered continuing his hand down her backside squeezing her ass cheeks before popping them hard with a slap.

The contact made Anai moan into her pillow feeling herself become more deeply aroused than she already was by his sudden forcefulness, "Kai."

"Hush, you asked for it." He spoke on her ear sliding a finger deep into her warm wet folds making her groan into her pillow.

"Baby." She moaned not having anywhere to run with his weight on top of her slipping inside another finger pumping slowly three times before pulling them out.

"Let's see just how much you can take Nai." Malikai kissed the back of her neck holding down her legs with his as he eased his fingers back towards the center of her vaginal opening and rectum area moving his fingertips in small circular motions.

The sensation was foreign never being touched before in that specific area Anai bit down on her pillow, "Shit."

"Take it..." He bit the back of her shoulder speeding up his fingertips against her sensitive flesh.

Biting harder down on her pillow moving her hips left to right as the sensation slowly built and filled in her body fully, Anai felt her legs going numb as Malikai continued his gentle grip of caressing both her cheeks repeatedly before going back to the same stimulated spot.

"Yes." She moaned out making him cover her mouth with his other hand, poking her ass out more towards the sensation.

"You like that?" He asked smiling on her cheek as she drew closer and closer to her peak, "Make you rethink trying anal?"

"Don't fuckin' push it." Anai groaned becoming lost in the pleasure of his hand on her skin, going faster and faster.

"Push?" Malikai chuckled sliding one of his fingertips against the opening of her rectum setting her over the edge.

"Oh fuck." She cried into the pillow coming down from the climax of her orgasm not believing what just happened. Slowly catching her breath she looked over at Malikai laying his head on her pillow with a look of passion in the darkness.

"Tired yet?" Malikai asked kissing the back of her right shoulder.

"No, I want to feel you." Anai turned her head to look his way leaning over to lean her face against his, softly kissing his lips.

Malikai leaned back as she climbed on top of him slowly. Moving his hands to her hips he swiped his thumbs slowly back and forth across her skin as she leaned up to take off her shirt, he moved his right hand up to her piercing in her navel feeling the diamond with his fingertips that was a solid reminder of their promise. Anai grabbed his hands to grip both her breasts as she moved the front of his boxers down for his fully erect nine inches to spring free upward.

Malikai looked up at Anai biting his bottom lip as she looked back down at him, "I love you."

"I want you." Anai whispered slowly easing her body to align with his length, sliding down it easily with how slick her sex was from the orgasm she just had.

"I want you," He responded back in a soft tone inhaling then exhaling out as Anai clenched her world around him without warning, "Shit Nai."

"Let's see how long you can take it now jerk." Anai grinned down at him moving her hips to start a rhythm like she was using a hoola hoop, "Like I've already told you, I do it because only I can."

"Fuck you." Malikai gripped her hips tightly closing his eyes making Anai laugh gently at him.

~

The next morning Anai rolled in her covers feeling in her sheets for Malikai but didn't feel his warmth at all making her open her eyes in panic from the past horrible feeling of not feeling him. Raising up out of bed seeing it was no sunlight coming through her blinds, it was obviously going to be another cloudy day with a chance of some rain. Looking at her phone after grabbing it off her bedside dresser she saw the time on her screen read eight nineteen.

Going to her bathroom door after fixing her tshirt she opened the door seeing Malikai sitting on the floor next to the toilet with his eyes closed and like all the blood was slowly draining from his face, "Malikai?"

Slowly opening his eyes, the grey stare on her lit up a bit as a smile broke across his lips, "Hey Nai, far cry from the intimidating Calculus professor you once knew huh?"

"Oh my gosh, what's going on? What hurts?" Anai dropped to the floor grabbing his face into her hands trying to stay calm.

"I'm alright." Malikai grabbed her wrists, "I swear."

"Kai." Anai felt her eyes filling with tears in being worried, "Do we need to go to the hospital? I can call Dr. Roman and.."

Suddenly she moved her legs she started to try and get up but Malikai held her with his hands to sit fully back down, "I'm alright, nausea...it's just a side effect of the medicine I'm taking so I won't need to go to the hospital love. Please."

"Are you telling me the truth?" She asked looking into his eyes that turned serious.

"Yes." He shook his head, "Calm down, I'm okay."

Taking a relieving breath Anai felt tears starting to fall again from her eyes as she laid her head on his chest letting him hold her close as she felt herself not being able to control her body to stop crying, "Is it because we had sex?"

"No. It's okay baby." Malikai spoke softly chuckling kissing the side of her head.

"Do you want some water?" Anai asked raising her head up off his chest, seeing he was slowly starting to look back normal after throwing up.

"Yes." Malikai took a deep breath, "Let's get up before the kids come up out of curiousness."

"They're already up?" Anai asked helping him stand up.

"Yeah, left them downstairs watching spongebob before I felt a wave nausea." He replied bending down to wash out his mouth in the sink.

Anai leaned against the wall of the bathroom behind him watching as he brushed his teeth and gargled some Listerine mouth wash, "Have you been a low-key super dad all this time?"

 "No," Malikai wiped his mouth with a wash cloth on the sink smiling at Anai through the mirror, "I just know what time they wake up."

"And you're wrong Kai, you still intimidate me to this day, thirteen years later." Anai sighed looking him over, making him look back at her before turning back to the sink.

"Sure I do."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Anai asked again leaning up off the wall to wrap her arms around his waist.

Raising his arms to wrap around her body into a hug he nodded softly, "Swear I'm alright, you'll be the first to know if I'm not okay?"

"Okay." Anai closed her eyes wanting to hug him just a little bit longer before joining the kids downstairs.

~

Sitting on the couch watching TV with the kids Anai couldn't help but look over at Malikai sitting on the couch with Mayson out of worry.

Making eye contact with her, he made a funny face her way sticking his tongue out at her mouthing 'I'm still here.'

Smiling a little Anai nodded at him softly whispering, "I know."

Malikai's phone vibrated on his lap making him immediately raise it to his ear, "Wassup T?"

Trying to ignore that he was on the phone, Anai waited until he showed he needed to get up to talk about whatever was going on.

"Okay, lemme up Mace." He tapped his shoulder to stand up  and walk out of the living room.

Anai watched him as he went to the back patio of the yard, closing the patio doors behind him, "Mama?"

Looking back to Mayson, she gave a smile small, "Yes Mayson?"

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Yes babe. Why what's wrong?" Anai asked him.

"It's just that you haven't given us back our phones and Vanessa keeps complaining about it to me but won't say anything." He told her.

"Hey." Vanessa mugged him from her side of the couch she shared with Anai across the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry y'all. I'll go get them now okay?" Anai stood up not even realizing that she still had their technology, not just their phones.

Walking to the backyard patio doors in the kitchen, she cracked one of them slowly once grabbing one of the door handles to make sure it was even alright to give the kids back access to internet.

"How long ago?" Malikai asked on his phone sounding not alert in his tone but a bit of sadness, "Oh my God."

Anai's heart raced suddenly hoping they weren't going to have to leave the country from how distressed he sounded.

"Okay, yeah no I'll be more than happy to do that tomorrow morning." Malikai spoke last before hanging up his call.

"Kai..?" Anai gently called out to him making him spin around at the sound of her voice.

"Yes?" He slid his phone down into the black sweatpants that Anai noticed he wasn't wearing yesterday. She figured he must be having James and his team bring him clothes the past two days.

"The kids are asking about their phones." Anai told him, opening the door more while leaning on it.

"Um, it's fine. Things just got a lot more complicated anyways." Malikai nodded taking a slow breath.

"What happened?" Anai whispered biting her bottom lip.

Looking her over he crossed his arms across his chest, "Jalia is dead, they think it could be murder."

"What?" Anai couldn't stop her jaw dropping down before she realized it, then clenched tightly in disbelief. All in all she never could respect how the woman was hell bent on breaking her and Malikai apart but she'd never wish death on her.

The front door opened suddenly with Kenneth coming in suitcase and extra bags in tow, "Hey everyone I'm back."

~

Summer W.

"What the fuck!?" Summer yelled while currently at the Townsend estate, learning the federal investigative bureau had no leads on her friends murder.

People in all black suits, FBI jackets stormed in and out on phones talking to each other working on finding out if Jalia possibly died at the estate.

"I don't think this is the end but just the start of problems." Detective Willis told Summer.

"What do you mean?" Summer was confused feeling more tears that wanted to fall from her eyes in not being able to process the death of a longtime friend.

"Whoever did this, has left a note saying specifically that and might be trying to target your friends Summer." He told her, "It's imperative that they all are warned."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[dangerousnbeautiful]

Breakdown

Pairing : Eddie Munson x OC! Vanessa Henderson

Summary : Vanny makes Eddie dinner at the hideout, and when she goes to the kitchen to clean up afterwards he follows her. What happens when Eddie has enough of the tension between them?

Warnings : Master Kink, Sexual Threatening, and Orgasm Denial

She had stood to clear the plates after they had finished eating, and when she had got to the kitchen she started to run the water. Eddie suddenly stood behind her in the tiny kitchen. He turned her around, too close for comfort, his hand burning through the cotton of her t-shirt. She looked from his hand on her shoulder up to his darkening eyes.

His gaze changed, the focus no longer on her face but somehow on her mouth. His breathing quickened. So did hers. Great. Now she couldn't look away from his mouth. Such firm lips, so full and pretty yet masculine. Weird.

To her surprise, her nipples hardened. Then the sexy jerk rubbed a thick, callused finger over her lips. She sucked in a breath. "Shit. Okay, we're just gonna do this once because I can't fucking wait another minute wondering."

She licked her lips, and his eyes narrowed. "Wondering what?" She asked, sounding weak, feeling like a limp noodle under his strong hands.

"What you taste like." He lowered his face slowly, taking his time and giving her every chance to pull away.

"Damn it, you're taking too long," she groaned and yanked him down to her. The first taste of him knocked her world off its axis. He tasted sweet, a mixture of cherries and man and sex combining to send her heart into a race it might not finish. He groaned and lifted her in his arms, their mouths still melded, the full-body hug turning her on like a drug. He set her on the counter, his hands clasped on either side of her hips, and angled himself between her legs.

For the life of her she couldn't think about anything but how well Eddie would fit there, as if he'd been made just for her. The breadth of him overwhelmed her, and she clung to his shoulders, dizzy and wanting and afraid to fall off one hell of a ride.

He moaned her name, making her shiver, and deepend the kiss. Starved for oxygen, she pushed at his chest, and he backed away, giving her the space she needed to stare up at him.

She froze at the look of carnal need on his face; she'd never seen sucha a beautiful man in her life. Then Eddie was kissing her again, gripping her hips and twisting her skirt under those big hands.

She wanted more, to feel him closer. But try as she might, tugging at his shoulders, he refused to budge. All that strength and power... She shivered under the onslaught of desire.

He slipped his tongue into her mouth, and the sly press of his tongue reminded her body of where he'd do even more good. She felt weak and strong and needier than she knew how to handle, aching between her legs with a ferocity that startled her.

Eddie ripped his mouth away and stared down at her in shock, panting. "Fuck. You're a menace." Then he stormed out of the kitchen.

She landed on the floor with wobbly legs and tried to follow him but made it no further than the wall in the hallway. After an embrassing moment, she steadied herself and saw him halfway out the front door before he stopped, realizing he had forgotten his jacket.

"Motherfucker." He muttered as he grabbed his jacket off the rack and put it on as he glared at her. "That's it. Never again. And stop looking at me like that, or I'll fuck you right here in the goddamn living room."

Vanny could only stare at him, not sure what to say to that. Please? No? How many times do you think you're good for?

Eddie swore again then walked right up to her and took her face in his hands. His touch was gentle, so at odds with the fierceness in his gaze. He kissed her, the touch light, wrought with an emotion that made no sense. This time she pulled back, so confused... and freakin' on fire to have him. 'Wh-What?"

"Yeah. That's what I'm sayin'." He blew out a breath and let her go, taking a step back. "We should never do this again." She nodded, knowing that she should accept his decision even if she was quietly regretting the choice not to protest. "This never happened. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She said trying to catch her breathe and then she felt she felt another shiver down her spine.

"Yes, what?" He said sternly glaring at her debating with himself whether he should really leave or fuck her into the ground right here and now.

She blushed slightly and then tried to compose herself yet again. "Yes, master." She said softly.

"We're friends. I'm your D&D game master. That's all." He seemed to have trouble taking his gaze from her eyes, as she nodded, staring holes right through her. "Might be a good thing to stay away from tomorrow's campaign meeting, just for a breather."

"Yeah." She breathed deeply, searching for something to calm her and not finding it. "So, get out. I have stuff to do." He shoved his hands in his pockets, drawing her attention there, and she made the mistake of looking at the massive bulge straining his fly. She swallowed audibly.

"Cut it out." He groaned. "I can't help it. I have to go." Before he walked out the door completely he paused and looked over his shoulder at her with a huge grin that did something funny to her insides. Her heart started hammering even harder. "You're not allowed to cum tonight Vanny. Do you understand?"

Her breathe hitched as she nodded, "Yes, Master." And with her acceptance he left for the boat house; leaving her alone with her arousal that was stronger than she expected it to be.

Taglist: @paranoidmunson @the-valkyrie-writes @goldenbrownanddistasteful @gag-me-munson @choke-me-eddie @joeschains

[the-black-bulls]

For the 2 ships or friendships ask:

—For friendships how about Gordon, Gauche, & Grey vs. Magna, Asta, & Noelle?

—For ships, Finral x Finesse vs. Finral x Vanessa, I guess? (I personally like them both so I understand if you don’t feel too strongly one way or the other on that one 😅)

Cheers!! 💖

Hi there, thank you for the double asks!

(send me two ships or friendships and I'll pick one)

Gordon, Gauche, & Grey vs. Magna, Asta, & Noelle

this is hard because both are great trios with established moments, but nostalgia is one of my weaknesses and I'm even weaker for my man magna's big brother vibes!!

HCs bonus: 

Gordon, Gauche & Grey:

much to gauche's annoyance, the trio does in fact visit the agrippa house at least once every two months, mostly because the granny is senile beyond help and really believes gauche is her dead husband.

gordon and grey have a weekly drink making competition and will constantly ask gauche to be their judge and taste-tester.

library is their favorite place to hang out because it’s quiet and peaceful most of the day.

Magna, Asta & Noelle:

magna tried to teach asta and noelle how to ride a broom but had to stop at some point after noelle nearly killed them both.

noelle will often crash at the silva castle with asta and magna by her side for absolutely no reason, she just feels powerful showing her brothers around.

sometimes magna will enter broom racing contests and ask them to cheer for him because as a senior he always gets pumped up when they watch him.

Finral x Finesse vs. Finral x Vanessa

this is an easy one, finral and vanessa have better chemistry and I'm not a big fan of finral returning to his abusive father, but also I found finral’s silliness with vanessa is more entertaining than his smitteness with finesse, I’m cool with both ships however.

HCs bonus: 

Finral x Finesse:

in my ideal conclusion for this ship, finesse will run away and live with finral in the black bulls mansion.

they're way so smitten and lovesick with each other, but are even more passionate about langris in platonic way.

if they ever had kids, I see them with two girls who reflect finral's relationship with langris but with actual loving parents.

Finral x Vanessa:

they're the exact kind of couple who'll have matched shirts and matched hairstyles and matched makeups.

they don't shy away from showing affection in front of everyone, it's not rare to spot them making out in the squad's favorite sofa.

if they ever had kids, I see them with a boy & girl twin who idolize the witch queen, and one adopted witch who idolizes langris.

[spookyboywhump]

Hi my special talent is posting the first parts of things before the second is finished but it was getting too long anyway so here’s the first half

This isn’t an official part of the bad timeline, it’s more like, an au of an au :3c

CW: Bad Timeline, Pet whump, dehumanization, (nonsexual) noncon touching, drugged whumpee, burning, knife whump, electrocution, whumpee put on display

***

“If you behave yourself, I’ll give you a gift at the end of this.” Nicholas said, leaned down to whisper in his ear. Another insufferable party, another uncomfortable outfit, another gift he knew he would hate. Instead of replying he simply grit his teeth, staring straight ahead as the man stood up straight, slipping an arm around his waist as he led him into the room.

His stomach dropped at what he saw when they stepped inside.

He was used to the crowd of well dressed people, and the dogs they brought with them. The party itself wasn’t out of the ordinary, no, what caught his attention was the person in the middle of the room, as though he were a centerpiece. He knelt on a small platform, clearly rigged up just for this event. He was shirtless, his arms were bound behind his back, wrists tied to his ankles, and a rope from the back of his collar tied to an anchor on the platform forced him to sit up straight. He was muzzled, and he was blindfolded, and he was Zander.

Nicholas slapped his hand over his mouth before he could cry out, his arm around his waist tightening to keep him from running. He struggled desperately, shouting behind his hand, but he wasn’t stronger than Nicholas, eventually he went limp in his arms, tears welling up in his eyes.

“I said behave.” He warned him. “He can’t hear you anyway, even if you could approach him it wouldn’t make any difference. His ears are plugged and he’s drugged to ensure he won’t try to move.” He said, finally removing his hand. “If you want to see him after this, you won’t disobey me.”

“You’re a fucking monster.” Wren hissed at him, trying to pry his arm off of him.

“How sweet of you to say.” He smiled at him, only making him angrier, and pulled him along, making sure he could see Zander, but not get a chance to go near him. He watched him like a hawk, desperate for any chance to get away, to do something to help him, and his heartbeat picked up when somebody, a stranger, stepped up to him, running a hand through his hair, roughly tugging on it and tilting his head to the side.

“H-hey- they- they can’t- they can’t do that, right?” Wren looked up at Nicholas, drawing his attention away from the conversation he was having.

“Hm?” He paused, looking to see what was going on before saying, “Of course they can. He’s not a decoration, love. He’s the entertainment.” He said it matter of factly, and Wren watched in horror as the man took a lighter from his pocket, flicking it on and bringing the flame to Zander’s throat. He could hear his muffled scream from across the room, followed by laughter from the onlookers.

“N-no! Please- please don’t let them hurt him!” He cried.

“Quiet down pet, unless you don’t want any time alone with him.” Nicholas sighed. “He’ll be fine, they’ve been warned not to kill him. If something is too much then I’ll put a stop to it.”

“Please… just let him go, he- he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t be here…”

“No, he shouldn’t. He’s only a temporary gift for you after all. Now quiet.” He ordered, giving him a stern look before going back to his conversation. Wren knew he had to obey, he couldn’t lose even a second of his promised time with him.

***

The drugs kept him still. They didn’t numb him, and they didn’t keep him quiet.

Zander had woken up already bound and blindfolded, unable to even hear. There had been moments where he tried to struggle, as he was tied in a sitting position, but a familiar prick to his neck was all the warning he had before he could no longer move. He didn’t know where he was, what had happened, and though his thoughts were racing and his heart was pounding, all of his panic was bottled up and trapped inside him, only released in slow breaths through his nose, the leather muzzle keeping his mouth shut tight, teeth biting down on the bit inside.

He’d been burned first with the flame directly. After that came the cigarette burns, one after another. They were a familiar sensation, one that left him whining and whimpering. The cold flat of a blade was pressed beneath his chin, tilting his head up, the point dug into his skin. It was trailed lightly down his throat, he hissed in pain as cuts were made over his collarbones, blood running down his bare chest. They weren’t the only cuts made though, slashes across his arms, his chest, he began to fear that after all this time, Vanessa had finally gotten her hands on him.

At some point something was dug into his ribs, he didn’t know what until an electric shock coursed through his body, causing him to shriek. It felt like it lasted forever, he was left panting for breath once it ended, making him lightheaded.

Make it stop. Please please make it stop. This is all just a bad dream, I need to wake up.

It wasn’t a bad dream though. It was all too real, all too painful. He had no choice but to endure it, and pray he got out of it alive.

***

Wren thought the party would last all night. Nicholas made sure he didn’t get near Zander once, not enough to even give him a reassuring touch. It killed him to just watch people torment him, to watch him react, hear his screams, with none of the struggling or swearing that he was used to. Though he couldn’t see his face or read his expression, somehow he knew that he wasn’t his usual stubborn, angry self, instead, he was scared. Sometimes Nicholas would stop just to watch the show, seeming pleased when Wren couldn’t look any longer, turning his head to hide his face against his chest.

Eventually, it did come to an end though, and he was being led out of the room, but Zander was still there, and Wren immediately looked up to Nicholas.

“Wait- wait you promised I could see him!” He cried. “I-I was good, I thought I was good! Please-���

“Love, calm down.” Nicholas stopped, taking a moment to let go of his waist, instead gently cupping his face with his hands. “You were so good for me, you will see him. You need to give him time though, otherwise he may still be too drugged up to even make the visit worth it, understand?” He said softly, and Wren nodded, blinking back tears. He knew he needed to keep quiet and just obey him for the time being, which he was more than willing to do if it meant he’d get to see Zander, even if only for a moment.

[heyheyloki]

Loving Is (Not) Easy [1]

Summary: Sometimes the best thing you can do is take it head on and wait.

Spencer Reid x M!Reader

Word Count: 4876

1. Sometimes, you need to wait.

The first time you met Doctor Spencer Reid was one that you wished happened under different circumstances. Although, if it did happen different, you highly doubt things would turn out like the way they have. You probably would never be living with him, never be able to be your true self, and never have found the man you want to love for the rest of your life. But, with any love story there will be always things in the way. Your enemy just happened to be time.

Around six months ago was the first time you saw him. He was literally your light in the darkness. He had saved you from a hell you couldn't escape for fifteen years. Over and over again you would wake up in that small room and the devil and his partner would strip you of yourself. They took everything they could from you, yet he was the one to give it all back.

It was around winter, the seasons turning as the green grass began to be dominated by the white fluffy snow. You were never really able to see it though. They wouldn't let you. The only time you got to see the outside was when they would remove the nails from the sheets that blacked-out the window from your eyes. You suppose you could always just try to tear the fabric down, but they would never let you back up in your room without your hands damaged. Too damaged to even touch anything. It stung.

You always believed that your life was supposed to be this way. That you would eventually die before you could even figure out how long you’ve been in this place. Before you could even know how old you actually were. Birthdays, time, those things were long in the first three years up here. After that, everything was such a blur that you barely tried to pay attention to it anymore. You believed in so many things, positive things, and yet as the time went on negative thoughts crawled inside your mind. You would never be able to experience love, or even get a job and normal social life. Something you have been deprived up ever since you came out to them about something personal. Something they thought was filthy and disgusting.

You thought for such a long while that it was your fault, and you still did to this day. Maybe if you had read the signs more you would have noticed. But what young boy notices that stuff? What young boy would think their parents are capable of such acts because of their sexuality?

You never tried to scream. Your mother always told you that if you scream then you’ll get punished. You never tried to learn what that punishment would be. Although, one day the pain was just too unbearable that you let out noise. Your parents didn't like it much. But how can you not scream as they cut open your skin? 

Even with the punishment. Even with the beatings. You think the only thing that saved your life was your scream. You only thank those who heard it, the neighbors. They were the ones who brought him to you. And you thank them every day of your life for it.

It was normal day at the BAU section of the FBI in Quantico, Virginia. The team there had received a case from the police in Denver, Colorado about a possible abusive household. Normally, things like this would be handled by the police only. Although, this case was proving to be more and more gruesome than they ever thought possible.

The team had collected in the conference room, the board lit up with two pictures. One of a man and the other a woman. They looked to be completely normal, normal people anyone would pass at any time of the day.

"Nicolás and Vanessa Perez are a married couple in the Denver area of Colorado." A woman known as JJ stated. She had short blond hair and fair skin. Each of those at the table had a conflicted look on their faces, especially since she didn't show any pictures of them as bloody corpses.

"What's so special about them?" Agent Aaron Hotchner, leader of the team asked.

"Well, they aren't dead for one. Although, neighbors have heard screams coming from the house." She said, her thumb clicking on a button on the remote she carried. A small window of video popped up and immediately began to play. It was focused on the ground, a sidewalk. Even so with not being able to see anyone, the bloodcurdling screams of a male was present in all of their ears. Screams that called out in the darkness when monsters are visible. Screams that should never be made possible. But, it was. Those types of voices were signs of clear distress and pain rather than fear. And everyone in the room knew that.

Once it ended, a couple of people let out a deep sigh. Their hearts speeding up for just one moment before putting back up the shield that helped them do this job.

"Do we know who that was?" Doctor Spencer Reid, the youngest of the agents asked.

"No one had any idea up until a few days ago when a neighbor took this picture." JJ said as she put up a somewhat blurred image of a young individual looking out the window of what looked to be an upstairs room or attic.

"We have any idea who the kid is?" Derek Morgan asked.

"No one can get an ID on him." JJ informed the team. Although, just as she believed they would hurry to Denver, Colorado, Hotchner asked, "I understand the severity of the situation but why did the police need us on this case?"

"Well," JJ muttered. Her thumb clicking a button once more as ten pictures of young woman popped up on screen. The youngest at eighteen while the oldest ranging up to her thirties. "All these woman have been going missing in the area where the screaming can be heard. Police there believe it is this couple kidnapping these young woman, but they have no proof."

"Wait, but the one in the picture there is obviously a young man." Emily Prentiss stared clearly for everyone to hear.

"Yeah, that does seem to be the case." Spencer Reid agreed, his hazel hues keeping on the blurred picture of the young man.

"Either way, I don't like the odds that boy has." Hotchner said, picking up himself and the items he owned from the circular table as he and his team moved out. The screams they all heard from that video echoing non-stop in their minds.

2. Don’t Make A Sound

 When they all reached the police station cops were running back and forth as commotion ensued the place. They looked around at the panic before picking up the pace to the one who calls the shots, the Chief.

"What's going on?" Special Agent David Rossi asked. He and his team watched as the police chief turned to them just after he hung up the phone. Some determination deep within his eyes, or perhaps anger.

"We just got another report of screams coming from the same house." He quickly stated. "I'm about to go visit the home again, you all are free to tag along."

Everyone quickly agreed, however, Hotchner was quick to leave JJ and Reid at the station to start up a profile for the unsubs. Meanwhile, everyone else traveled to the most unsuspecting home in the most unsuspecting neighborhood. It was one of those neighborhoods that would be in an ad back in the day that promoted the American Dream to foreigners. The clean cut green grass, the perfect two story home, and of course, the whit picket fence. When the team came up to the house and knocked on the door the woman answered first. She stared at them with narrowed eyes as she scanned all of the badges they whipped out for her to see.

"Mrs Perez? We have a few questions for you. May we come in?" Derek asked with the deep and silky voice that attract woman left and right.

"Sure," she stuttered. Her fingers scrunched against her thin scarf that hung loosely around her neck as she stepped aside for them. Each one that entered her home allowed another squeeze at her scarf.

As the officer and members from the FBI looked around the home, they noticed nothing out of the ordinary. It was a typically normal home with a normal living room, kitchen, even bedroom. When they all sat down in the living room to talk, Derek couldn't help but notice a door that looked to lead up to an attic. One that would have to be pulled down from the sealing. Thing was though, it had a lock. He kept it in mind as others began to question her. Rossi looking around at the picture of her and her husband along a table, as well as several items that indicated she was religious.

"Where is your husband, Mrs Perez?" Rossi asked. He stared at the back of her head for a moment before going back to the pictures when he heard her reply, "The store, we needed more food."

"Ma'am, we've been getting several reports now of screams coming from your house. Mind telling us what that's all about?" The officer asked, his brows furrowed more the longer he stared at her.

"I have no idea. It's just me and my husband, you see. We don't bother anyone." She stated calmly. Although, even with her calm demeanor, something about this woman irked Derek to his very core. He could feel it in his gut that something was wrong, and almost on some god-given luck a few noises--like footsteps--came from above. Everyone was quick to get a look up, their minds racing. However, when they looked back at the woman on instinct she said, "We have a raccoons nest up there."

"Better get them out soon, raccoons tend to carry all kinds of illnesses." Rossi said in a manner that was almost read as sarcastic, like he wasn't buying any of it. Although, even with the timid questioning, things began to heat up at an exponential rate when he saw a photo of a small boy. In the picture it was easy to say he was a cute kid. Smooth skin, full lips, gorgeous colored orbs, and healthy looking hair. The kinda features for a male that would mature into god-like looks.

"This your son?" Rossi asked. He held the photo up for her to get a look at when she turned her body around.

"Yes. His name is [Name], a sweet boy." She sugared, something about her honeyed words clawed at Rossi.

"So, where is he now?" He asked, walking up to the group once he set the photo down. He watched as she grabbed a hold of her necklace, a cross, as she said, "I sent him away. Boys like those detectives, they get a lot of attention."

"What kind of attention?" Prentiss asked, her arms folded over her chest.

"Attention one boy should not be getting from another." She hissed out. Her hatred now clear for everyone to see. Her dark eyes scanned the room before her voice became strong, more stern. "How would you feel if your son was kissing other boys?"

"I wouldn't care." Hotchner quickly stated, his own eyes burning with hatred as well. However, his hate was targeted somewhere different. "What did you do to him?"

She stared at Hotchner for a moment. Her eyes twisting into something that made his stomach turn at what she could have done to her own son. Then, a moment later, she raised her chin and said, "Somewhere better. Somewhere where he can learn god's will and fix his devil like face."

After the interrogation at the Perez house, the team went back to the station where Reid had been fixing up a board that helped him classify the unsubs.

"Whatcha got, pretty boy?" Derek asked with a small smirk. He saw Reid turn around with a sorta mocking face for a split second before getting into his findings.

"The only connection I could find between the missing woman was that they are all between the ages of eighteen and twenty, not only that but after about a week they are discarded and replaced." Reid started out saying, thoughts now running through his family's minds when he said, "It was almost like they were defective to them in some way."

Derek was the first to speak his mind, even if he didn’t like the conclusion he and many others were coming up with only after meeting the wife once. “When we went there, she went on about sending her son to a ‘better place’ where he can ‘fix himself’. If her and her husband have him and are taking these women, is it a stretch to say that they’re taking these women for him?”

“Well, why would they be doing that?” JJ asked. “I mean, you guys said that it sounded like their son was homosexual.”

“He can still be.” Rossi said, “but the parents think they can fix his sexuality by forcing these women onto him and when they don’t..”

“They’re killed and replaced,” Hotchner finished, his eyes scanning the board before saying aloud, “let’s go give the profile.”

3. Escape Never Looked So Easy

You’ve known this place most of your life and for the longest time you could remember a new girl coming to visit you every week. No, visit isn't the right word. More so forced to see you. You knew what was going on as you got older and you knew the first thing you had to do was help these women in anyway you could. Over and over again you have failed in ways that no one would ever understand. However, you were determined to help this one. You had too. Not only for a lofty sense of justice and pity, but since it was also your chance. She could help. Go to the police. The FBI are here now, they will help you.

"It'll be okay, I promise." You whispered to a scared woman who hugged her knees in her chest. The tears down her face wouldn't stop, staining her pale cheeks. Her wobbly eyes gazed up at you, staring at every possible scar that they left on your face.

"How do you do it?" Her brittle voice asked. Her head leaned to the side as her eyes narrowed and brows furrowed.

It was weird to be asked such a question, but not an uncommon one. They all ask it eventually, and you guess at some point in time you found the answer.

"I.. learned to adapt." You muttered out, your own head leaning downward as you stared at the rotting wooden floorboards. It was quiet for a moment, but you could still feel her eyes curiously watching you. Searching you.

"H-How long have you been up here?" She stuttered, almost scared to know the answer.

This time it was your turn to mirror her look of confusion. You could always tell when it was night and day, when the seasons chance, but you never have been able to count the years that have gone by. That was always the hard part.

"Don't know," You uttered, your voice soft and vulnerable. "All my life, I suppose."

Looking back, all you remember is this place. This way of living. You truly believe the only thing that kept you from believing this was okay in anyway was the books your father sneaks to you. He ended up doing it for as long as you could remember, but after some time whenever she would leave the house he would come up here. He'd teach you things, tend to my wounds, even apologize.

One time, he even tried to help you escape. A while ago, after they put up the tarp so the neighbors couldn't see you from the attic, he left the nails very loose in the wooden boards along the wall. It was easy for you to take it off without making too much noise. The jump down wasn't much given how it's only a two story home and the land would be in some bushes, but she tends to be more concerned with locking you away from the world. Father said it was so you don't 'act on the devil's desires'.

That sentence never did make sense to you. As much as you believe in your own intelligence, you could never wrap your head around it. After all, how would you be acting on the 'devil's desires' when she calls you the devil in disguise. Wouldn't it just be your own desires then? And even so, what's so wrong about desires? That's what makes an individual, otherwise wouldn't we all just be the same?

Father told you it started off with my looks. She believes you’re not their child, and he predicts that's how she can act so monstrous towards you. She apparently used to tell him about how the devil is supposed to be depicted as a handsome man, one with radiant features and charism so he can make others sin. She was always scared of you, of how you would look when you grew older. But, the moment she caught you innocently giving a kiss to a boy, she snapped.

She tells your father that they are ridding great evil from the world. Not so much about protecting you, fixing you. But more about protecting other people, helping other people. She used to call priests all the time when you were younger, but they stopped coming after some time. Your father thinks it has something to do with the fact that she didn't want the priests to see the scars on your face.

The first one she placed on you was on your left bottom lip. It drags from your lip to a little on your chin. It's noticeable, that's for a sure, as well as jagged. Over time, the cuts got smoother. The latest was under your right eye. It was curved to match my eye socket as well as wide more in the middle before riding off. All the other scars just happened to be on your body. Chest, back, legs, arms. She wanted to make sure that you were no longer the devil she imagined. After all, if your face was no longer sinful, if your handsome features were cut up, who would think of you as even the least bit attractive?

You only snapped out of your own thoughts when the girl across from you tapped on your shoulder. Your eyes quickly met hers that were filled with some kinda new strength while you felt wetness stream down your face.

"We're gonna get outta here. Both of us." She said to you. It was the first time someone had offered to take you with them. The first time that they didn't just care about their own escape. Although, you never blamed them.

"Y-Yeah," You stuttered, your voice cracking the longer she stared at you.

However, you decided at this point it would be best to just focus on her. She was more in danger than you were, so, you told her a plan. One that was full proof as long as that woman is out of the house.

"I can't take the tarp down, nevertheless open the window with my hands." You informed her. She guided her eyes to your shaky hands that where riddled with scars and bruises. Some cuts open with dried blood the only thing keeping the wound shut. "They haven't hurt you like they have me yet. So, it's up to you."

"How will I know she's gone?" The girl asked.

"She will be soon. This is the time of the day that she goes out for more supplies. It will take her at least twenty minutes." You informed her. Your head dropping for a second before saying softly, "Get back here with those FBI guys before then."

"Why?" She asked curiously.

You never did answer that question. It was your least favorite of all questions, especially when the answer most of the times is so easy to figure out.

4. God Sent Me An Angel

Fifteen minutes. That's how long she's been gone for. As much as you hope she would bring those people back, you wouldn't blame her if she just ran for the hills. Something like this, it would scare a lot of normal people. Though when does something scary turn into another person's normal? After time? You suppose that could be one answer; maybe even the only answer.

You think it was in a book you read stated that faith could be something of salvation and yet could lead someone onto the highway to hell. You truly believe that is where she will go after she dies, and you do hope that she realizes the truth. The single truth that you are not the devil in disguise. That you are not a sinner. That you are not Satan himself.

It was so quiet, quiet enough to hear your own breathing as it entered through your nose and out your mouth. Your breath laid still in the air, visible by the cool air that surrounded the attic. There wasn’t a heater in there, so the temperature was determined by the weather on the outside. 

One minute. Two minutes. You felt like you had started counting the seconds, lost so much in your head that you didn’t hear anything until the sound of clanking wood rang loud in your ear drums, infecting your brain.

You whipped your head around and stared blankly at the only exit or entrance of this hell besides the now broken window. Although, you had heard the sound so many times before that it was normal, most of the time you wouldn't even go to look. But this time you wanted to see, you wanted to look to see if the true devil was going to look you in the eyes or maybe perhaps it would be an angel himself.

However, you heard no sirens. Heard no new voices or those of those men before. So, the moment you saw the light shine from the house into the attic, you knew you would be staring into the eyes of the devil. And you did.

You knew the moment you saw the disembodied look on her face that my fate was sealed with a bloody end. Perhaps now your suffering can end, maybe now you can actually get some peace.

"Get over here, boy!" She yelled, her words like poison. Yet you hoped in that moment that when she wrapped her hand around your wrist that you would be let to your salvation. Maybe when you die you would see the pretty stars, the beautiful moon that somehow gave you a sense of hope in that dark and cold attic.

Her grip was solid and terrifying, although the fear you had for that woman died a long time ago when she started to slash your face. You couldn't see your father for miles, you had just assumed in that moment that perhaps she killed him as well, just like with all the other woman before. The ones you failed to save but each made a vow to, one they wanted you to keep before they met their end.

It wasn't until you both went into the kitchen and found yourself in the spot that she makes a mess with your body that you felt something. It wasn't so much fear or anger, but more so hope. It was the hope that this never ending nightmare would finally come to a close, that you would finally wake up.

"Sirens.." You muttered to yourself, your voice soft like that of a childs. You watched as her face contorted in fear when some men began to pound on the door and claim to be with the FBI.

When the door was busted down she pulled you close to her and held an object close to your neck, yet before it all she managed to grab the nearest bag and place it over your face. Essentially, even to the end she would rather hide me from them all entirely. With your vision gone, all you had was sound and touch to go one.

"Put the knife down!" You heard a man yell. You could remember him as one of the men that came here the other day.

"Mrs. Perez, let the boy go." A soft voice spoke. You couldn't explain why it was silky and not as deep as the other but gave you a sense of calmness. You could tell you would be fine in that moment, and believed it more than the entire universe.

"I'm not letting such evil into the world! None of you understand! He's the devil himself!" She screamed, the knife's sharp edges more prominent against your neck. You didn't make a sound though. You thought maybe you could get punished if you did.

"Why do you believe that?" The man with the calming voice asked. You could tell he was trying to calm her down to let you go.

Her firm grasp on your shoulder suddenly grew tighter, you believed she could shatter your bones if she really wanted to. "Everything about him. He's a sinner, he makes other people sin." She whispered, "He doesn't look like me or my husband."

"You think he's the devil because of his looks?" He asked.

It was silent for a second before she uttered, "I know he is because of his looks. I tried, I tried so hard to make it so he wouldn't make others sin. So he wouldn't spread such evil into this world."

"Why don't you tell me all about it after you hand him over?" He asked. You could tell all of his words were lies. "If.. If he's in custody with the FBI then he won't be able to spread the evil you speak off."

"Could I.. get rid of him?" She muttered. It was quiet, so quiet that all you could hear was your own breathing until you felt the hand on you shoulder slowly loosen. The knife around your neck moved around and before you knew it you could feel a pair of gentle hands on your upper arms.

You could hear the shuffling next to you and the jiggle of metal as they cuffed the woman next to you. It wasn't until you heard those footsteps echo off into the distance that the one in front of you asked, "Are you alright?"

You only nodded. It wasn't that you had an issue with talking or something, you just didn't want to at the moment.

"I'm gonna take this off, okay?" He asked. Your mind guessed he was taller than you and looked up an inch in turn. It was the first time that someone asked permission to do something to you.

You nodded again and once you did the crinkling the bag ran loud into your ears as the darkness you saw turned into light. When you opened your eyes, you stared at the man in front of you. He was young, maybe in his early or mid 20s. His chestnut hair was on the longer side and did this cute thing were it got curly on the ends. It reached down to his jaw that was sharp. He had pale skin, and had these eyes anyone could get lost in. They were sweet, something you haven't seen in anyone but those woman and your father at times.

The both of you stared at one another for an extended period of time. While you admired the man's features, you thought perhaps he was in shock at how hideous you look. Between the scars and such, you wouldn't be surprised if he thought that. However, the more you looked into his eyes, the more the idea of disgust was pushed from your mind. It was like that emotion wasn't even present as he stared at you.

Though, when he snapped out of his daze, he looked back on his game.

"Hey, there," he uttered calmly. "My name's Spencer Reid. I'm with the FBI, you're gonna be okay, you understand?"

You nodded your head again. You could tell he probably thought you were mute or something so when he started to move away you said aloud, "[Name]."

He was quick to move his head around back at you. The expression on his face was one of shock. He was truly baffled you were speaking, which made you almost retract. Although, I didn't.

"What was that?" He asked in confirmation.

"[Name]." You said more firmly, my natural deeper tone coming through. "That’s my name, since we’re sharing."

This time it was his turn to nod his head a bit, but at the same time, he smiled. It was softer and showed no teeth, but a smile nonetheless. It somehow softened you a tad, almost made you feel vulnerable to an extent. However you knew that it probably had something to die with the fact that he saved your life.

"We're gonna take you somewhere safe. Is that okay with you?" He asked. The second time someone has asked your permission. It truly felt wonderful. It was almost like you mattered, like your feelings were valid.

"Sure," you said. It was at this moment that your turning point would occur and you would be be allowed the freedom to do what you pleased. Something you were deprived of for over fifteen years.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

The Hard Things

Doing the right thing is never easy. Calum and Freya have a lot going for them. But what happens when fear gets in the way.

Inspired by I Follow Rivers by Marika Hackman and Starting Line by Luke Hemmings.

Calum X Black Female OC.

I cried once writing this. 7.4k words. Angst. Just angst and sarcasm.

@notinthesameguey is personally responsible for this. So blame her.

The Hard Things--Alternative Ending

Masterlist (on semi hiatus)

___________________________________

If Freya were going to be honest, she would admit that the second she saw Calum and his friends walk into the building she knew things were going to be bad. But Freya’s not being honest. Because being honest would almost include admitting just how too easy it was that day. How if those particular sequences of events hadn’t happened that specifically, then she wouldn’t be here--trying not to watch the quiver in his chin or the way he blinks rapidly. Then she wouldn’t be trying to forget the way his voice quakes.

But they did happen in that particular order. On a Thursday afternoon, he and his friends walked through the door. And here, here at this part, it’s easy to be honest.

Honestly, she is staring--way too hard and way too long at the rag-tag gaggle of people, but especially the man pulling up the rear of the group with a bright red hat snug on his head and covering his eyes, though not even the brim can hide the plump full lips pulled up into a tiny grin at something that must’ve been said. Because another guy, this one fairer-skinned in a hat too and a baggy t-shirt is also laughing. And of course, this group would enter just as Tre stepped away to check on the lanes already throwing. Vanessa wasn’t too far from the desk, but she was trying to help some parents figure out when they could schedule an event for someone’s birthday in the coming weeks.

This only leaves Freya as the only person available right now until rounds were completed to handle any new patrons. With a glance down to the clock on the computer, she could see that a couple more folks would be coming back to the front at any point. But clearly, that point wouldn’t come quick enough.

“Hi,” Freya greets flicking her gaze back up to the group with a quick smile. It’s the training. The fact that more than once she’d been told that customers liked her, especially the way she gave instructions but she needed to smile more. And if this weren’t the job keeping her afloat during her time of getting her degree, in addition to the administrative desk work she did at the university, she would leave here in a heartbeat. Possibly even in the blink of an eye. Whichever was faster.

“Hey! We were hoping you had a couple of lanes for us.”

Freya counts the head. “Just you seven?”

The guy that spoke initially turns the man in the back with the bright red hat on. “Still no word from her?”

The guy shrugs. “Don’t sweat it.” And Freya clings to every syllable. The almost sleepy drawl to his voice lined with a twinge of an accent. She can’t place it at first. But all of them share slight variations in it. The man in the red hat’s voice is low but smooth.

“Yeah just the seven of us,” a taller man pipes in.

“Okay, we can only have two people throwing on a lane at a time. I can put you on neighboring ones but we’ve got very strict rules about how many people can throw at a time.”

There’s a murmur amongst the group but eventually, it comes back to Freya that they’re okay with it. She runs down the safety rules, the forms they have to form out, and checks their IDs. She notices the man with the red hat’s name is Calum and though she knows she shouldn’t, she tries to commit it to memory. It won’t last long. She forgets names all too fast, but she never forgets a face.

“Nessa, watch the desk for me!” Freya calls out as she collects the cases with the axes and directs the party to their lanes. There’s a table for convening and a separate for the axes to rest. “Alright,” she starts with a quick whistle to settle the group. They get chatty but are quick to turn their attention back to her. “I don’t want to kick anyone out, but I will. So one last recap of the rules.”

When Freya finishes, she has the entire group repeat the rules back to her. When they return it to her all correctly, she smiles. “I appreciate y’all already. There are several range officers. They monitor carefully from several posts,” and she points them out as she speaks. “The shift rotates out in an hour. Meaning you’ll have to pause let the old shift go and let the new shift jump in. You’ll hear beeps to signal you to stop and start. If you have any other questions or concerns, you can find me at the front or a range officer. And we’ll be happy to help. Let’s keep all fingers, toes, extremities, and eyeballs intact and we can have a great day together. Enjoy.”

Usually, in her safety spills and best way to throw, Freya makes sure to keep eye contact with everyone in the group. However, she places a purposeful gaze on Calum when she tells them to enjoy. It’s reckless--she knows that. A little flirting hasn’t hurt her. Besides, she knows the moment she walks away, he’ll forget about her. They always did and she likes it like that. Flirty enough to keep good reviews, but never too flirty to insinuate anything more.

In her departure, Freya feels eyes on her, lasting longer than usual. And maybe she put more emphasis behind the swish of her hips and maybe she hoped it was Calum watching her walk away. But she doesn’t dare turn around. No matter how much she hopes in a fleeting second that maybe she had flirted just a little too much, Freya does not turn around to confirm or deny anything.

Back at the front desk, Freya takes a look at the cameras. Anyone at the front can see the lanes too--it’s for safety when you have live blades. Her gaze travels over each one though just out of the corner of her eye she catches the bright red hat. A few guys clasp him on the back but she can’t hear whatever else is said. The rest of the afternoon goes by slowly. As people leave, few come in to replace them. The weekend will be busier--it always in. And Freya knows that soon too, once the afternoon becomes evening things will pick up just a little.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here. Everything okay?”

Freya barely sees who it is talking before they’re out of the door. Calum, phone pressed to his ear. She watches him for a beat as he paces near the front windows of the establishment. Her gaze doesn’t linger long before something on the floor catches her eye. She sees it’s black and square. When she gets closer it looks like a wallet. Clearly used and loved by the creases in it. She glances back up to Calum to see him still on the phone and peeks at the ID just to make sure who it belongs to.

With the blank stare of Calum’s ID photo looking up at her, Freya takes it back behind the desk. She’ll wait until he gets off the phone. A minute or two later, the door chimes again with Calum reentering.

“Hey, you dropped this,” she calls out, stepping out from the desk to hold out the wallet.

Calum pats his pockets and a split second panic causes his eyes to go wide. “Oh shit, thanks. I-I didn’t even realize it fell out of my pocket.”

“No worries. Just glad to get it back to you.” Calum takes it and slips it into his pocket, hands patting the outside to make doubly sure it’s secure. “You guys doing okay back there?

“Yeah, we’re good. Though I think somehow the girls are kicking our asses.”

Freya smiles with a small tuft of laughter escaping her. “It’s power and finesse. You can tear down brick buildings but if you don’t get the release right so it’s not twirling over the axis too many times, you’ll come up with nothing.”

“So says the expert?”

Her cheeks heat for a second at the raised eyebrow Calum gives her. Running her tongue over her teeth to hide the smile, Freya nods. “Yeah, I’ve thrown an axe or two in my lifetime. So I guess that counts as me being an expert.”

Calum laughs. Whether it’s at her or not, Freya’s not sure. But she likes the sound of it. “Tell me what else the expert suggests.”

A moment passes where Freya’s watching his gaze. Wondering if an anime glint will twinkle over his brown eyes because it’s a smooth delivery. Smoother than some of the stuff she’s done. There’s no way he’s fucking real.

Freya takes a half step back, slipping through the threshold that separates the front desk from the main lobby and the hallway to the back where the lanes are set up. “This expert suggests that you try her advice and impress all your friends.”

“More finesse. In the wrist, right?”

“In the wrist.”

A shy smile is shared between the two of them. It borders telling everything and saying nothing at all, borders on giving away on how much Calum might’ve considered concocting a ruse just to get her attention and how much he did backtrack on his plan because it was his sister calling and that shocked him. The smile borders on Freya twirling the Havana twists around her finger and her rolling her eyes at Calum’s thinly veiled attempts at flirting.

Both of them are saved by the front door chiming and Freya gives a nod to Calum before turning her attention to the person now entering. But Calum watches the way she leans into the counter and smiles down at the small child standing next to their parent. “Oh my god, you’re getting so big,” Freya comments and then walks back around to settle next to them.

“No, Fre, I’m not bigger dan yesterday,” the kid responds.

“Huh, could’ve fooled me. Your dad will be out in just a second. Shift change had to wait for one more person. Anything cool happen at school today?”

Calum leaves then, though he can catch the small boy gush about the races he won at recess. It’s probably crazy of him to try and find some sort of way to come back here again soon, but Calum’s already trying to put together an excuse.

When Calum heads back to the front with the group, laughing at Michael’s utter disgust at the way the last few throws went, he does look for Freya. A girl with red hair is sitting at the desk instead. And though a little bit of disappoints settles into his stomach because he wanted to tell her how well her advice worked, he finds himself resolved and it wouldn’t be broken.

******

Calum told himself whatever Freya had to say during this talk wouldn’t break him. Hell, if he were honest, he didn’t think it would go like this. “You know, I used to say I was no good for people all the time,” Calum laughs. He sniffs hard and wipes his noses on the back of his nose. “It was a clean get-away line.”

“I’m not giving you a get-away line. I’m giving you the truth,” Freya returns.

“No, I’m-I’m not saying you’re giving me bullshit. You’re setting a boundary and a good one at that. I respect it. I’m just saying the irony. The same thing I used to tell others is coming back my way.”

“Karma’s a bitch.”

“I don’t regret it.” Calum shakes his head, not because he’s lying. But to emphasize his point.

*****

Calum doesn’t regret going to the Yelp, Facebook, or Instagram page of the business to see if she had liked it or appeared anywhere on their social media. And luck would have it, he manages to find her. The owners like to show off their employees. Their preferred form of employee appreciation appears, in Calum’s investigation, to be a quick bio of new employees along with a video of them throwing. He nearly misses Freya’s post because of his quick scrolls. The bottom of the page comes up quicker than the app could handle and just as the new page loads that he notices it. The thick twists and black lipstick sitting on her cool dark brown skin.

He doesn’t regret it when he followed the account that was tagged, or the message he sent her from his finsta, or the messages they exchanged for a few days. And he for damn sure can’t find himself to regret it when he came back to the place a couple of weeks later to see if Freya was working.

There’s no regret when she smiles at him and laughs. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to test your theory yet again. It worked last time. But I want to make sure that it wasn’t beginner’s luck.”

“You doubt me. You dare doubt me? I’m offended.”

Calum laughs briefly as he leans into the counter of the front desk. “It’s more like I’m testing a theory. Making sure the results can be recreated.”

“Oh, I promise you my results are valid.” She reaches out for his ID and every so gently their fingers brush. Calum can’t tell if that’s intentional or not, but it doesn’t the slight shiver that runs down his spine. “So just you today, huh?” Freya continues on, grabbing a clipboard, some forms, and a pen.

“Just me.”

“Rest of your friends scared.” Her gaze falls to the stack she’s gathering, checking something off on the top page and then sliding the ID back to Calum.

“They’d probably laugh at me if they knew I was here.”

“Laugh at you?”

“Tell me--why do you think I’m here?”

A moment passes between them. Though it takes up more like several seconds, time feels froze as Freya studies his face. Calum wants to reach up and readjust his hat out of a nervous habit. He wants to take it back. But more than anything, he wants to know if he has a shot. If it’s worth really pursuing.

“I think you’re here to test a theory. Maybe, just maybe you’re here because of Vanessa too,” she smiles as it says. Like she knows that isn’t the truth but she doesn’t want to give into Calum.

And while it’s not the answer he was hoping for, Calum takes it. She wants to play a game and he can be down for that.

*****

She wants to reach out for his hands. They sit next to each other in the lounge chairs Calum keeps lined around his pool. But Freya thinks twice about it. The bulbs dangle above them casting an amber hue onto the water, a stark contrast to the twilight pressing evening closer to night’s full darkness. Freya does regret it. She regrets not leaving her teasing response just to testing a theory. She knew what Calum was fishing for, what he was hoping to confirm when he came back by himself.

Maybe it was just where she was then. Then she thought she could give more. Now she realizes she can’t. She likes it when she’s dating someone and they can decide on a random Sunday for errand runs. She likes having them around. And not that Calum wouldn’t be around. Tours didn’t happen all the time. But they did run long. And who the hell knows where she’d be in eight months after she graduated. Her life wasn’t stable--she wasn’t tied to the West Coast like Calum was.

Her life was full of variables. Ones that she didn’t really plan on trying to solve until closer to Christmas in the spring right before graduation. And she didn’t want to give Calum any more false hope. It wasn’t set in stone that she’d be staying in LA and it wasn’t set in stone that she could handle the long departures. Calum deserved someone that was more sure of themselves.

“I think having regrets is no good anyway,” Freya says, finally breaking the long silence between them. “Having them doesn’t change what happened anyway.” But that doesn’t change the fact that you still regret this, Freya thinks to herself.

“I used to believe love could overcome any obstacle.”

Freya turns to look to Calum and catches thhe way the stubble on his chin from the few weeks he’s gone without shaving halos just a little in the lights. “Used to? The right person, the right love--”

Calum shakes his head. “Now I think people loving me means that they love themselves and they can tell me what they want or need. No guessing. No games.”

“Still sounds a lot of a hell lot like overcoming obstacles.”

“But it’s not a dream. It’s tangible. It’s not me daydreaming up in the clouds. It’s me--right here. Right now. Knowing seeing what it means more than anything else that all the shit I was thinking of as a kid really needed just to be put on the ground level for me.”

“What-what do you mean?”

“I mean as much as it fucking sucks that you’re telling me no, I know you’re doing it for the right reasons. I-there’s like this thing with me. I watch people. I don’t walk into a room of strangers and become the center of attention. I don’t like people all that much, but I care. You know? I care about the people I put into my life and I want them to do well and succeed. I want what’s best for them. It’s not always easy to want that, but innately, I do, I think. Deep down I want what’s good for people. And maybe love is doing the hard things, you know.”

He pauses. Freya watches the way he drops his head, fingers threading through the curls. She keeps quiet. There’s something more, something deeper to the words. “And you’re doing the hard thing. Whether it’s for me or not is debatable,” Calum continues. “But I think love is doing the hard things.”

“You said that having some space was important to you. And while I understand that, like you do need to be your own person in a relationship--”

“Your reasons or how you want to justify it to yourself for me isn’t something I need. You already said that you know what you expect and like out a relationship and that the touring would be too hard for you. Set boundaries for you. What good does it do to justify it to me?”

“So you know I’m not being an asshole, Calum. For fuck sake.”

“No, no, I-shit. I didn’t mean it like that. I meant--who are boundaries really for? What do they do?”

“I guess they do protect the person making them. But I’m not trying to be an asshole to you. I swear.”

Calum looks up from the cement of his background lining the pool to the glossy sheen coating Freya’s eyes. They’re black in the settling night. But Calum knows they’re more like a medium brown--dark enough to get lost in them, but when they catch the light just right, they can feel like an enchanting spell sucking him in.

“Freya, you are a sarcastic son of a bitch. But an asshole to those that don’t deserve it, never.”

She sucks on her teeth, swatting at his bicep. “Take that back.”

Calum leans onto his left elbow, closing the gap between them just a little. A smile lifts his lips gently. “Never.”

“We’ve both been burned. Is it bad I didn’t want that again?”

“No. I used to say love is a scam. So I don’t think I’m necessarily the poster boy for relationships.”

“But admit it, you hoped this was the one so you wouldn’t be the odd man out.” His brows furrow at her comment. Freya gives him a soft smile. “Two of the guys are engaged. But all three of them are in a relationship.”

He sighs, gazing dropping from her face. “Maybe I was hoping so. Is it bad of me to want to be in love?”

“No. I told some kids that my boyfriend was Shermar Moore,” Freya admits with a laugh. “I was working at a summer camp and one girl saw his picture on my phone. It was my lockscreen for the longest time. So I just went with it. Well, I was spurred in part because of Drew who was a fucking creep and wouldn’t leave me alone. But I did fantasize about it. Dream of being in love with some famous and the limelight. Shit at that point, I hadn’t even dated anyone either. So another part of it was a desire too.”

“Is that part of it too? Worried about what trolls and whatever will say?”

“Oh, no one who doesn’t know shit about it can make me get outside myself.” Freya laughs but reclines into the cushions of the chair. “But maybe it’s a little bit of it. That’s too many voices talking all about you. It’s a lot of noise and some of it has to bleed through you know. Even if you’re careful and you work not to take it in, some does, right?”

“I don’t think humans were created to be able to handle that much criticism or even love and adoration. Our brains can’t handle it. So yeah, a little bit seeps in. But you keep that door closed as much as you can. You talk to people that also get it. Fuck, you even get a therapist.”

“Or a dog,” Freya says before turning her head to watch Duke laying inside next to the back door.

“And a dog,” Calum corrects.

“Excuse me, you get a therapist and a dog.”

“Tell me something.”

“I’m listening,” Freya returns, looking back to Calum.

“Before you go tonight, tell me the thing you’re going to cherish between us.”

“Will you do the same?” Calum nods at the question but doesn’t respond verbally as he gazes at her.

“Do you want to answer now?”

“Are you leaving now?”

“I-I didn’t think you wanted me to stay.”

“I want you to stay as long as you feel comfortable. And then when you leave, the parting thing we have is the good, the best of us.”

“What if I stay until dawn?”

“Then you stay until dawn. Though, I think it’s safe to say both of us will pass out by 3 AM.”

“That was the most ridiculous thing I think I’ve ever done,” Freya laughs. Remembering the same she spent a Friday night after a shift at Calum’s place. He had a birthday party on Saturday along with a vet appointment with Duke. And then Sunday, Freya had we weekly lunch with her friends that she couldn’t miss. So Calum asked her if she wanted dinner Friday night at his place. Which she said yes to, but then it turned into them doing a movie marathon. Which then turned into Calum betting her that he could stay up longer than her. But they ultimately passed out around 3 in the morning on Calum’s couch.

“Thankfully, I did not miss Duke’s vet appointment that time,” Calum tacks on.

“Yeah, no thanks to me waking you up half an hour before it.”

“That darlin’ is what I call details.”

“No, I call that a very important fact,” Freya defends sitting up. “Duke would’ve been late twice if not for me.”

Calum giggles at her incredulous look. She always got heated fast, though she knew when it was serious things and when it wasn’t. “It wasn’t him paying for the visit.”

“So you ought to kiss the ground I’m standing on right now because you didn’t have to pay anything like a cancellation fee.”

“You’re not standing on any ground right-” the sentence doesn’t get the wind to complete itself when Calum watches her stand up. “Or maybe you are standing up.”

Freya hears him, but she gazes up to the sky. Trying to look past the twinkle of his backyard lights. There’s not much to see due to the light pollution. But the sounds capture her attention next. His neighborhood’s almost been mostly quiet. But with the twinge of the summer’s heat fading, Freya can hear the last bit of people outside. A dog barks into the night and there’s the crunch only tires on gravel and asphalt can give. There’s a hum in the night that Freya can feel in her bones.

It’s hard not to fall in love with the sounds of the night. It’s hard not to romanticize this, how possibly if things were different she could find herself at some point always standing in the middle of this backyard listening to the sounds of the night, having Calum beside her or maybe Duke when he’s gone and just letting herself go to the buzz. In all honesty, Freya craved stability. Always having something to come back was her dream. But in that dream it was a partner who would be there for every dinner. A shared space that was full with both of their presences.

“When you think about coming home what’s there?” Freya asks. “Like, in ten years, what’s in your home when you walk inside?”

Calum closes his eyes, bringing the picture to his mind’s eye. “Like, the truth of what I see?”

“The truth,” Freya confirms.

“Two kids, a dog for sure. Maybe two. A wife. A lot of laughs. Being knocked over with hugs. Maybe a movie that hasn’t quite been paused catches my ears. Maybe it’s summer and my mum’s over too. Because she wants to be around the kids as much as possible. And my sister--she comes over when she can too. So we have to figure out what to cook because it’s a family dinner night. I’m mostly likely in Australia. But I could be somewhere else. Just not LA. I don’t think I could have kids here.”

“That sounds lovely, Calum.”

“But I am scared. My parents divorced. What if it doesn’t work out?”

“That wasn’t your fault. And if we heal from our trauma before having kids then maybe some of our fears won’t come to reality.”

“And if it does.”

“Then we know the boogeyman is real and sometimes we can do our best but things that are meant to happen will still happen.”

“Your parents are divorced too, right?” Calum remembers her mentioning a distinction between her mother’s house and her father’s house. But she hadn’t outright stated that her parents were divorced, just alluded to it.

“Yeah. My dad remarried. He seems happy.”

“What about you? If you closed your eyes and thought about yourself in 10 years, where are you?”

“I technically asked what do you see in your home when you walk inside 10 years from now.”

“Oh, come off it,” Calum laughs, throwing a dismissive wave her way.

“But,” she giggles and then closes her eyes. The breeze blows across her face and she lifts her chin up to catch as much of it as she can. Then she speaks, “I don’t know. Home’s full of the people I love. And I feel stable. I’m not worried about what I’m going to do weeks from now when something inevitably has to change. Because nothing’s going to change. Or at least, I’m not anticipating change. I think that’s what I’m sick of. I’m sick of dealing with change and constantly moving around and not knowing what the next year is going to look like. I’m tired of looking over my shoulder and planning. I just want to be still.”

“You did the whole back and forth between houses, huh?”

“Yeah. I always felt like I was playing two versions of myself when I was younger. I had to be one way around my mother and one way around my father and according to my therapist, the constant games of charade fucked me up a little.”

“How often did you go between their houses?”

“Every weekend.”

Calum sucks in air through his teeth, “Yikes. Yeah, no wonder you want stability.”

“Oh, thank you Dr. Hood. Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Well this is a question so it’s not something you don’t know, but is the thought of me being gone for months at a time remind you of that? Like, you’d have to be one way while I was here and then another way when I was gone?”

Freya shrugs. But it’s right on the nose. “I’d have to learn to be with you and then be without you. And all I have are switches. No dimmers. I’m either on or I’m off. And I-I’m working on it. But I’ve got a long way to go.”

Calum scoffs, whispering mostly to himself. “All I have are switches. No dimmers.” It’s not a taunt to her. It’s not him blowing her concern off. It’s recognition that colors his tone. It’s the sigh when hearing something that connects so deeply it takes all the oxygen from lungs with it.

“And I swear to Christ, Calum, if you make a Lowe’s or Home Depot joke, I will extract your ankles from you right here right now.”

“Extract? What the hell?” Calum laughs.

“Broken ankles heal,” Freya returns with a smirk. Her face is lit mostly from above due to continued standing position but Calum catches the way her lips move.

“Remind me to really never piss you off. Between your ability to throw axes and the time you told me about putting ham on a girl’s car, I don’t think I want that kind of trouble in my life.”

“I only put the ham on the car because my friend was heartbroken and she was a cunt for cheating.”

“Yeah, see that’s what I mean,” Calum points out, his index finger swirling in a circle in front of her.

“I could’ve slashed her tires too.”

“I think ruining her paint job was more than enough.”

Freya places her hands on her hips, looking down at Calum. “I’ve got some anger issues too. Did I mention that?”

They laugh but Calum recovers first to speak. “I hadn’t noticed it before. Thank you for telling me that. But in all seriousness, Freya, the boundaries you have make sense. I hope you continue with therapy as well,” he states with a giggle. “But it’s not easy to look back at yourself and realize ‘Oh shit, maybe I don’t want that thing again because that actually fucking hurt’. And do something about it. That takes a lot of strength.”

“Thanks, Calum. And I will continue with this therapist for the rest of the school year because it’s free. Shoutout to some universities for having really accessible mental health resources.”

Freya finally sits, facing Calum. He keeps his gaze averted. But it doesn’t bother her. “What’s the intention behind telling me I can stay as long as I want? Is it to get me to change my mind? Just earlier both of us were near tears and now we’re walking down memory lane. Sharing things we hadn’t shared yet.”

“I want as much of you as I can get before you’re gone. Selfish, right?” The tears are back, she can hear them in his voice.

“No. A bit of your masochism showing, certainly.”

“You ever know something’s bad for you, but you want it anyway? You want the pain anyway?”

“I mean considering both of us are littered tattoos, pain’s not something we’re too worried about.”

Calum wishes he didn’t laugh, not even the short burst of laughter. “Someone’s coping with humor.”

“Someone’s self flagellating.”

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t want you to go. But I don’t want you to hurt yourself either.”

“Maybe love is doing the hard things. You said that yourself.”

Calum swallows hard and his voice only comes out in a whisper. “I know I did.”

Freya blinks away the blur of tears. But as soon as they clear, more replace them. Her voice is tight as she speaks. “Doing the hard things suck though. Don’t think this is easy.”

“It’s because it’s the hard thing,” Calum returns. He wants to smile and manages to get a small one but he knows. Freya’s going to leave. She won’t stay.

“My favorite thing,” she starts and Calum exhales hard. There it is--the confirmation. The sentence gets caught in her throat so she pauses to clear it, work the tears down to at least speak. God, why couldn’t it have been easy. “My favorite thing between us, about us, whatever you want to label it as, is that we could also be honest. And even if it was burning waffles or ducking paps to watch a movie for an anime that you had no idea anything about because I wanted to go desperately and you had to Google a summary during the previews, we were always honest with each other.”

“I want to put it out there that you only told me that it was for an anime as I was buying the tickets. So I had zero time to prepare beforehand.”

“I told you the name of it the Monday before we saw it.”

“And admittedly, I forget it the second after you said it.”

“Fair enough, Calum. Fair enough.”

Calum spins in the chair and takes her hand. The first time they’ve touched today. Normally, Freya was more than happy to give out hugs but when Calum opened the front door, she have a half smile and stepped inside. If he could go back to earlier, he’d tell himself that was the first sign.

His thumb passes gently over the butterfly on her left hand. “The thing I’m going to cherish is that you made me feel sixteen again. My entire life changed at sixteen and I felt pretty invincible. I was also scared and excited. I was going to be in a band, like a one with lots of records and I don’t know--I only had that dream to believe in because I damn sure did not have a back up. It was before the downs. And I don’t regret the hard times either. But you’re the first person in a long time that gave me those butterflies. Assumed I was just never going to feel them again and I wasn’t a good person before, not as good as I could’ve been. But you gave me something to be good for again. Getting your text made my whole fucking day. And you-god, you cared about so many things. I bought books you recommended and couldn’t wait to talk about them with you. I remembered the kind of person I want to be. So thank you. For making me feel sixteen again in the cheesiest way possible but also in the best way possible too. That things are worth giving a shit for and that we can let people in and it won’t always burn.”

“Just a little sting.”

Calum nods. “Just a little sting.”

Freya brings his hands to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to the right one. Her sniffle is loud amongst the hum of the night. “If it weren’t for the fact that my eyeliner is tattooed to my face it would probably be running. I’m sorry it has to hurt at all. But-but I’m hopeful.”

“Hopeful?”

“Hopeful that we’ll get what we need out of life.”

He nods again, watching the tears track down her cheek. “We will.”

Her hands gently slip back out of his grasp and she uses the back of her wrist to press under her nose. The tremors shake her hands, so she shakes them before standing. Calum cranes his neck up, words about to fall from his lips. But she cups his cheek and smiles at him. “Don’t. There’s nothing else to say.”

It happens just as he blinks. He sighs, eyes closing to steel himself. Because there’s always so much else to say. And then her lips are pressing to his forehead. It last long enough for Calum to take hold of her thighs instinctively want to pull her in closer to him.

Then she’s gone. His hand slides down the rough denim and Freya’s walking to the edge of the backdoor. Duke picks up his head but doesn’t move much else. “Oh yeah, you don’t need to move. You know everyone comes to you, huh?” She gives him a few pats and scratches. “I’ll send you something for your adoption day, okay, love? And you might hate wearing it or you might love eating it. But be on the lookout for the mailman. He’ll have something from me.”

Calum doesn’t say anything as she says her goodbyes to Duke. She kisses the top of his head too and he thinks she might’ve whispered something else but he’s not certain from his spot on the chair. The swish of the tassels on Freya’s jeans signal her and the click of her heeled boots tell Calum she’s walking farther from him. The latch in the fence clicks and the wood around the hinges creak as she presses into the door. There’s a soft thud as the door shuts and then Calum can’t hear anything over the cough he uses to try and cover the tightness in his chest, can’t see anything in the blurry vision of his tears

She’s just gone.

******

When the front door bell sounds, Calum doesn’t think much of it. It could be a package or someone selling something. So he pushes up from the kitchen table and heads to the door. There on his porch is a light blue box with white bones on it. The subscription box that Calum gets already came. But then he notices an index card with a handwritten address on it. He picks it up. Right there in the return address is Freya’s name. He sucks in a breath and then looks to see who it’s addressed to: Duke Hood + Calum.

“Duke,” Calum calls out, stepping back inside to the house. He closes the door with his foot. The click of paws let him know the old man’s heard his call. “A little early birthday present has arrived just for you.”

He walks deeper into the living room and sets the box on the coffee table. Inside holds an olive green harness, treats, and a card. Calum laughs as Duke presses his snout against the bag of treats. “Alright, alright. I get it.”

Duke happily munches on one of the chews from the bag and Calum opens the card. A different letter slips out into his lap. He can see the ink and lettering pressing through to the other side. His heart hammers, but he forces himself to turn back to the card. “Dear Duke,” Calum pauses to see if Duke responds but his investigation continues on the treat. “I mean, fair enough.” Calum continues to read the card written by Freya, “Even though only the universe knows your true birthday, this card, harness, and bag of treats is meant to mark you sticking it out with your pops for yet another year. To spare you the grumps about a very cute hawaiin shirt I, instead, got a badass harness. Now you’ll be the coolest guy on the block. Happy Birthday/Adoption Day. With Love, Fre.”

Duke, done with the treat, looks to Calum and settles next in front of his folded legs. “Oh, so much work eating a treat.”

But Calum reaches down to gently pats at his tummy. The front of the car is cute, Calum finally recognizes. A cartoon white dog is drawn on it with large pink glasses against a yellow background. There’s no telling where she found it at. Calum looks down to the handwritten letter on printer paper. What would Freya possibly have to say?

Calum hadn’t had the guts to press send on any of the texts he drafted in the three months since they last talked. He wasn’t sure if he could. He is sure that if Freya hadn’t wanted anything to do with him, she would’ve said so, and she wouln’t have sent this box for Duke. His fingers tremble as he unfolds the letter.

Calum,

I figured you heard me tell Duke he was going to get a gift. And I knew I couldn’t not deliver on my promise to him. But I do apologize if it crosses any line. Please let me know too--if it crossed any boundaries.

I hope you’re well. Congrats on the latest album too.

With Love,

Freya.

P.S. I saw you a couple times drafting a text to me but never seeing one go through. And if you’re asking why I hadn’t sent a text either, know it was fear too. And me not being sure if keeping it open like that between us would only do more harm than good. So I’m sorry. But I am here, in the sense that to the best of my capacities, I can try to be here.

*****

Her bag’s slipping off her shoulders but she finally gets the key into the lock and gets her front door open. She sighs as she falls into the ugly blue apartment door and all but flings herself into her place. The stack of mail in her hands barely makes it to the edge of the kitchen counter too. It was just one of those days and Freya couldn’t be mad at herself. Everyone had days like this.

Putting her keys up and getting her backpack next to the couch, she settles into the stools at the kitchen counter to sort through the mail. One’s a bill from the dentist she visited a few weeks back. The one thing her student health insurance didn’t cover. But she couldn’t complain.

There are few junk flyers that she immediately tosses. And it’s her name scrawled in a almost all caps that catches her eyes before she even gets finished with the rest of the pile. In the top corner for the return address she catches the name: Calum Hood + Duke

“Mail from Duke, what a surprise.”

But the real surprise is Calum’s name. It’s just a plain white envelope with a stamp and the city mark it was mailed from. Freya pops it open and sees a sheet of legal pad paper folded up.

Freya,

Thank you for Duke’s gift. The chews are a hit. The harness is much appreciated for our walks. Though, I think they’re more like walks for me. And Duke gets a little exercise in before he tuckers out. But I don’t fault him. No lines were crossed. So no need to worry about that.

I think I like the idea of mailing letters more than I do like texting. But I understand. Doing the hard thing sucks. It always has and always will. Do what you need to for yourself.

Thank you. I wouldn’t normally do this. But there’s a couple songs--they’re about you. I wanted to give you a warning before you listen to it. If you listen to it, I guess I should say.

Best of luck with your last year of school. You’ll have that Master’s in no time and then maybe soon you can take over the Library of Congress like all your evil plans have laid out. (I know, I know. Not what your Library Studies degree does. But I still think you should.)

With Love,

Cal

Freya chuckles at the Library of Congress comment. She picks up her phone and finds Calum’s thread. It’s easy to want to tell him that she can’t take over the Library of Congress and that she’s glad the treats went over well and that the harness was really more of an accessory to make sure Duke looks like a badass.

But she knows--she knows the ease got her into a pickle before. It’s why she stopped things before they got more serious. But was fear going to always predict what she was going to do in her life? Maybe the ease of things was a sign to continue. But if what if things got too far? WOuld be able to handle Calum being gone? Would she inevitably get her heart broken? And sure no amount of contemplation can predict things like this, but she did want to play with that risk no matter how fucking easy it was in the moment.

With a frustrated sigh, Freya drops her face into the forearms. Her phone is still in her grip with the movement. “It’s never fucking easy is it!” she shouts into her apartment.

There’s silence that engulfs her but it gives no response.

[trashyswitch]

All Aboard the Pizzaplex!

It's closing night of the opening day at Pizzaplex. Vanessa had been hired to keep guard over the place to make sure no thieves get in and rob them. But Vanessa would wind up getting quite distracted on her first night...And the deep voice in her head (who's lurking in hopes of doing crime) is only adding to the distractions.

{Words written in this format} represent Glitchtrap. This fanfic was suggested by an anonymous user. So, I hope you enjoy the fanfic! Sorry it took a bit.

Vanessa was keeping guard over Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzaplex. It was such a large building...It’s strange that they only hired one security guard for the entire restaurant. And inconvenient for her. Vanessa had to be on the run as much as possible to make sure she was thoroughly checking the entire side of the building. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t pay much. But it is a pretty place to look at and it did get her out of the house.

Vanessa walked herself towards Roxanne’s Raceway and checked around there to make sure no one was hiding in the dark. The neon lights looked pretty cool on the surface, but it also distracted from what could be hiding in the darkness. That was one thing Vanessa found difficult. Everything is covered in bright, neon lights but none of the lights actually revealed anything hidden within the dark. Hence why she had her flashlight.

Vanessa had started to walk closer to the race track, when an animatronic with deep, red eyes showed up behind her. Vanessa immediately noticed the red eye lights reflecting off the metal. She widened her eyes and turned right around. The animatronic let out an ear-bleeding robotic scream and grabbed her!

Terrified and filled with adrenaline, Vanessa dropped her flashlight and screamed as well!

The robotic screaming quickly stopped and was replaced by autotuned laughter. Vanessa had placed her hand on her chest as she breathed heavily, and let out a sigh of relief. They’re not going rogue...They’re just being evil.

Vanessa growled. “What was that for?! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Vanessa reacted, hitting the animatronic in the shoulder. “Which one are you anyway?” She asked, waving her now-injured hand.

“You don’t recognize me?!” The animatronic asked, before moving their face into the bright pink light. The light revealed it to be Roxanne Wolf. Her flowy grey hair rested itself onto her back as she knelt down to put Vanessa down. “Can’t handle a little scare once in a while?” Roxanne asked, showing off her claws.

Vanessa crossed her arms. “Not when it’s a robot doing it.” Vanessa replied bluntly.

“Aren’t you supposed to be keeping an eye on thieves?” Roxanne asked. “Huuuman thieves?” She over-exaggerated the word ‘human’ to emphasize that not just robots will go rogue.

Vanessa softened her expression. “Fine...humans can give people heart attacks too.” Vanessa replied.

{Damn right.} a deep voice inside of Vanessa’s brain, told her.

“That’s right!” Roxanne pushed Vanessa’s security hat down. “It’s been decades since robots were predicted to take over the human race. So stop being such a traditionalist!” Roxanne declared. “We’re not that hard to live with, are we?”

Vanessa fixed her hat. Then, she made a ‘well…’ kind of face and rocked her head side to side, meaning ‘you kinda are but you’re kinda not’.

Roxanne hummed. “Well, Monty’s pretty hard to live with. But the rest of us are nice! We were made for children, after all!” Roxanne told her.

{Yeah, made for killing children...} the deep voice added.

Those words didn’t exactly help her…

“So: was it fun seeing me scream and freak out?” Vanessa asked.

“Well, yeah! Very fun, in fact! Even the simplest things can scare people.” Roxanne admitted, curling and wiggling her fingers.

Vanessa’s eyes widened as an uncontrollable and childish smile grew onto her lips. The wiggling fingers took her right back to when her Mom would tickle and tease her. It surprised her, and always kept her in a giddy mood. Even the wiggling fingers would completely change her mood into adrenaline-filled excitement.

“Oh! So you DO like being scared!” Roxanne teased. “A bit of an adrenaline junkie?” She asked.

Vanessa nodded. “Yeah.”

Roxanne giggled and turned her eyes red for a moment. “Peek-a-boo.” She said in a monotone voice.

Vanessa widened her eyes and stared at Roxanne, growing nervous. “C-Come on Roxanne...You-you can’t get someone t-twice.” She tried to say.

Roxanne turned her neck slowly, and purposefully twitched her neck to the right. She scraped her foot on the ground, making a loud metal sound as she stared into Vanessa’s soul. “Play with me Vanny.”

Vanessa widened her eyes. DID SHE JUST SAY VANNY?!

{SHIT- SHE KNOWS. RUN!} The deep voice shouted to her.

Vanessa shrieked and immediately took off running. Vanessa yelped as the sounds of clanging metal and moving artificial joints filled the echoey kids mall. How did she figure out?! She hasn’t even been suspected, let alone caught! She continued sprinting around the mall and skidded to a halt in front of the ball pit.

“Come play with me Vanny! Let’s PLAY!” Roxanne suggested.

Feeling cornered and unable to do anything else, Vanessa took a headstart and jumped to try and get over the ballpit. But the ball pit was just so wide, that she wasn’t even close to making it to the other side. Vanessa fell feet first into the ballpit. When her feet touched, she got herself up and started ‘running’ through the endless plastic balls in the pit pool. Roxanne ran up to the ball pit next and grabbed a rope. With unbelievable percision that only robots possessed, Roxanne threw the life buey right around her body.

“NO!” She shouted, trying to remove the buey. But Roxanne pulled more and picked her up under the arms. “Gotcha!” She yelled. “I scaaaared you again!” Roxanne declared with a laugh.

“Put me down! That was so uncalled for!” Vanessa yelled. “And why Vanny as a nickname?” She asked, growing slightly nervous.

“Oh!” Roxanne looked at her own fingernails and flipped her own hair. “I took the name Danny, and used the 1st letter of your name! Vanny!” Roxanne explained.

Suddenly, Roxanne widened her eyes and looked at Vanessa closer with suspicious eyes. “Also, did you just say ‘uncalled for’?” Roxanne asked, placing her hand on her chin. “You were practically begging for it! You got very excited when I wiggled my fingers.” Roxanne said out loud.

Vanessa bit her lip and finally gave Roxanne an awkward, rough smile.

“Saaaay...Have you heard of the tickle monster? Maybe even met them?” Roxanne asked with a smirk.

{...You’ve got to be kidding me…} The deep reacted.

Vanessa giggled a little nervously. “Yehehehes, I hahave.” Vanessa replied.

“How about Roxanne the tickle monster?” She asked curiously with a raised eyebrow.

Oh no...Oh NO! PLEASE NO!

...Actually, please yes. It’s been years.

{What even is my life…} The deep voice muttered. {Out of all the people- You?!}

Vanessa yelped and kicked her feet as Roxanne’s pointy green fingertips dug into her upper ribs and armpits. She threw her head back with a big smile and let out a fit of laughter. “aAAAHAHAHAHA! WAHAHAIT, WHAHAHAHAT?!” She yelled.

“Now fear the mighty power of Roxanne the tickle monster!”

{........Oh...} The deep voice muttered.

“But yes! Don’t you know that Roxanne Wolf has nails built right into her fingers?” Roxanne showed off her thin, green fingernails proudly. “And they’re perfect for turning into the tickle monster!” Roxanne teased as she started up tickling with both hands again.

Vanessa twisted and turned around to try and get out of her grip. But the tickling was weakening her muscles. She was losing control of her body parts the longer she was tickled, thanks to the wolf-shaped robot that is Roxanne Wolf.

“CUHUHUT IHIHIT OHOHOUT! LEHEHEHET MEHEHE GOHOHOHO!” She begged.

“Now now, there’s no need to be so loud and fussy.” She reassured her. “Just sit back, relax, and enjoy your first of many tickle attacks.” Roxanne suggested.

Vanessa didn’t know what to do! On one hand, she wanted to be put down and go back to her job. But on the other hand…

Tickles didn’t seem like that bad of an idea right now…

Roxanne wrapped her one arm under Vanessa’s armpits and started lifting up her shirt a bit. Vanessa squeaked and giggled, shaking her head. “Nahahat thehere! Ihit’s vehery tihihicklihish thehere!” Vanessa begged.

“Really? Well I have some sad news for you:” Roxanne poked her belly button, making Vanessa squeak and kick. “I’m a rebel wolf~”

Roxanne shoved her hand under Vanessa’s belly and tickled around and in her belly button. Vanessa hung her head and kicked her legs outwards while she cackled up a storm.

Another pair of footsteps soon could be heard. “I hear laughter! Where’s it coming from?”

{Great...now you’re luring more animatronics over…} The voice muttered in her head.

“It’s Cackly Becky over here! She’s the source of the cutest laughter we’ve heard from any adult!” Roxanne replied.

WOW! Hey Freddy! Look at this chick!” Monty yelled.

“Monty, I’ve seen Chica before!” Freddy yelled back.

“No! Not Chica the chick, a security guard chick!” Monty grabbed the nametag and read it. “Vanessa!”

Freddy walked over with his microphone in his hand. “Oh! Pony girl! I see her all the time!” Freddy told them.

“I’ve never seen this bad babe around at all.” Monty admitted.

Roxanne frowned as she gave Vanessa a break and flipped her upside down. “She’s not bad. I’m bad.” Roxanne corrected as Vanessa’s slip-on shoe clapped against the ground. “This lady here in my claws, is a goody-two toes.” Roxanne teased as she gave Vanessa’s toes a little tickle.

Vanessa squeaked and giggled. “NOHOHOhohoho! Nahahahat myhyhyhy feheheheeheheheeeeet!” she pleaded.

“Ey lookie here! A senstive babe~” Monty teased, leaning over on his knees to get a better look at Vanessa.

{And people complained I was disgusting…} the deep voice muttered in Vanessa’s head.

Roxanne stopped tickling Vanessa for a moment and pushed Monty a few feet backwards with her foot. “You’re disgusting. You’re gonna be turned into gator soup if you treat any lady like that.” Roxanne spat.

Freddy looked over at Roxanne with a smirk. “You missed the pit.” Freddy mentioned. With a simple push, Monty stumbled backwards and fell right into the ballpit. Vanessa widened her eyes and dropped her jaw. She was SO gonna lose her job…

Monty popped out of the ballpit pool, gagging. He coughed up about 5 plastic balls. “That almost made me malfunction!”

“Nohow wahahait-”

“Your existance almost made me malfunction!” Roxanne shot back.

“EEEEEHEHEHEHE! FREHEHEDDYHYHYHY NAHAHAHAHAHA!” She cackled and laughed.

Roxanne and Monty looked down to where the new bout of laughter was coming from: Freddy was kneeling down in front of Roxanne, poking and scratching Vanessa’s belly button. Vanessa was giggling and pushing his hand away with no success.

“Kitchy kitchy koo!” He poked the belly button. “You click, then she laughs! Click, and laugh! Boop and gaggle! Beep, wiggle and cackle!” Freddy teased.

“BAHAHAHAHAHA! TOOHOHOHOHO TIHIHIHICKLIHIHIHISH!” She yelled to him.

“Too ticklish? Is there such thing as too ticklish? If so, how can I know?” Freddy asked.

“LAHAHAHAHA- *snort* LAHAHAHAUGHTEHEHEHEHER!” She yelled back.

“Your laughter?” Freddy clarified. He thought for a moment. “But...your laughter doesn’t change. How do I find out it’s too much based on something that doesn’t change?” Freddy asked.

Vanessa grabbed Freddy’s hand and tried to move it to her side. “HEHEHEHERE. TRYHYHYHYHY!” She told him.

Freddy looked at where his hand was located now and smiled. “Okay! If you say so!” Freddy started tickling her sides next. Vanessa squeaked and fell into a fit of high-pitched giggles. “Ooooooh! It DOES change! How interesting!”

“Ihihihi knohohohow!” Vanessa reacted with him.

Freddy moved to squeezing her hips next. “eeEEEEHEHEHEHEHE!” Vanessa’s laughter grew squeaky and moved up and down quite a bit.

{Your ticklishness is gonna be a problem in the future...I hope you know that.} The deep voice mentioned.

“Wow! Your laughter changes a lot like emotions do!” Freddy reacted, making the connection.

{Wow...In the 2060’s, animatronics can make connections. Who would’ve thought?}

“SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUHUHUP!” Vanessa yelled to the stupid criminal voice in her head.

Freddy’s smile dropped. “I...But why?” Freddy asked, sounding almost hurt.

{Don’t fall for it. He’s a robot. He can’t actually feel emotions. He’s just imitating human emotions and getting real reactions from you through fake-}

“Don’t stop.” Vanessa blurted out. Freddy blinked and tilted his head. “I...Sorry, I don’t want you to shut up. And I don’t want you to stop either.” Vanessa admitted.

Freddy smiled and went back to tickling her sides. “Okay. Thank you for telling me.” Freddy replied.

“Now THAT’S bravery!” Roxanne declared as she started tickling her toes again.

Vanessa giggled and danced her arms around upside down. She was loving it! The toes were such an evil spot to go for too! Roxanne had to tickle the middle of her foot sometimes to open up the toes. For whatever reason, that actually worked. Why? Who knows!

{Woooow...Look at you! Being all honest, and showing your vulnerable side to the animatronics that express fake emotions! Fan-frickin-tastic.}

Vanessa snickered to herself. The guy can’t even properly swear. What a fucking coward.

{...I can swear...Ass.}

Vanessa just about guffawed out loud at that. That’s it?! This man’s gotten SUPER soft. Must be all that programming turning his broken brain into mush.

{...If it weren’t for me using your body to continue doing the thing I crave so much...You would be my first.}

Vanessa giggled at both the foot tickles and at the deep voice. He’s all talk and no action. He’ll claim he’s ‘waiting for the perfect moment to strike’, but he’s really just not doing anything besides haunting her mind. Hence why he’s attempting to tolerate the one-sided tickle fight that was happening between Freddy, Roxanne and Vanessa.

...If he was so smart, maybe he wouldn’t have considered Vanessa as an option back in the VR game...

[puckluck28]

A Merry Upstead Christmas!

This one is for my lovely Chicago PD Secret Santa recipient @upsteadhc for the prompt: “any prompt from an angst or fluff list” so I figured what’s better than an Upstead pregnancy oneshot. A little bit of angst, a little bit of fluff, I hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season!

*The prompts I’ve used are highlighted in bold. 

For Better or For Worse, Even When Pregnant

Hailey glanced at their front from her spot on the couch in their dimly lit living room before checking the time on her phone for what felt like the hundredth time. At reading the numbers that read 1:28 AM plastered over her background that was a photo of her and Jay from their gender reveal party a few months ago, she sighed and took another sip from her now semi-cold tea. Fighting the urge to close her eyes with each passing moment, she’d been hoping for a voice mail, a quick text, something, anything that would give her enough relief so she could at least attempt to sleep, but there was nothing, and the wait was driving her crazy. Since their last call, there was an uncomfortable feeling eating at her insides, something in the pit of her stomach that had been growing for a few days, and she knew it wasn’t just her nerves growing from being only a week away from her due date. She’d gotten this same feeling a few times in the past few years, and she prayed to God that this time wasn’t like those other times. 

Where the hell are you, Jay?

The unit had caught a big case a week ago: a dead pregnant girl that led the team to an international human and child trafficking ring smuggling young girls from all around the world into the States, forcing them to get pregnant, and selling the babies to God knows what kind of people. It was an understatement to say it was a rough case, even for Intelligence’s standards, and from the limited information Hailey knew about it from her lunch dates with Jay at the precinct, and the occasional calls and visits from Kim and Vanessa so Hailey wouldn’t actually lose her mind staying at home, it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park to solve. 

On a regular night, Hailey wouldn’t worry about Jay staying late to go over evidence or to work on paperwork, especially while they were working a new case, but this time felt different. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about the way Jay had been especially quiet at home the past few days, those days that he had actually made it home before Hailey went to bed. It was almost as if he had been trying to avoid her, and successfully so. Then there were his texts: one word answers after taking forever to respond, that was if he responded. It wasn’t like she was expecting immediate responses or constant texting either. She knew that whenever a big case, especially something this big hit, it was all hands on deck with no room for distraction, but she at least expected a response, any response, when she asked if he’d be coming home for dinner, or if he was okay.

Now, having been partners with Jay for seven years, dated for two of those and married for one, Hailey could tell when a case, or someone, was irking him. So when he had started acting a little off the first time, she had given it to the combination of the caseload and having to work with a new partner now that she was officially on maternity leave, and done with desk duty, as per Voight and Platt’s orders. Jay’d been looking to find something to complain about his new partner from the day Voight had brought in Detective Aiden Thomas, a freshly minted detective from narcotics, as Hailey’s temporary replacement. Whether it was the way the young detective tabbed evidence files or the way he sipped his coffee during stakeouts, Jay found an excuse to text her, whining about being stuck with the new kid. So when the texts got more staggered and eventually stopped, Hailey had started getting suspicious and when she hit absolute radio silence the entire day that day, with no luck during the night either, Hailey knew it was time to call in back-up.

Around 10:00pm or so, Will had been the first person on her call list, not wanting to alert anyone on the team just yet if the older Halstead could reassure her enough to get that sleep she oh so craved. It also helped that she knew that Will was on call that night, him having shared his work schedule with Hailey since she was so close to her due date and who knew where Jay would be if she went into labor. Unlike his younger brother, Will had picked up Hailey’s call in two short rings. “Hailey? What’s up? Are you okay? Is it the baby?” He had asked in doctor mode. 

“Yea, we’re good. I was calling to see if you heard anything from Jay today?”

“Jay? He was here this morning to talk to an injured suspect but that’s about it.”

“Did you realize anything off with him?”

“Not that I could tell. He and his new partner were in and out. I didn’t even see them leaving.” Hailey sighed in defeat at her brother-in-law’s response. She had really hoped he would say something that would ease her growing nerves. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yea, yea things are fine.” Hailey took a deep breath. “I just haven’t heard from him the whole day and he hasn’t come home yet and…” Her voice trailed off as her words died.

“I can-”

“No, that’s alright.” She cut him off, turning down his offer. “I don’t want him to worry if they are working.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, knowing Jay, he’ll think I’m in labor or something and freak out.” She attempted at a joke to hide her worry. 

“You know, it would teach him not to ignore his pregnant wife.” That even earned a soft chuckle from Hailey.

“Thanks, Will. It’s not even that late, I’m sure it’s just me being paranoid.” She tried brushing it off. “You know how much I love staying home all day.”

“Don’t I know it?” Will went along even though he knew that for Hailey to be calling him, she must have a good reason to worry. “You and Jay are the worst people at enjoying doing nothing.”

“Yea, I’m ready to go back to work once your niece finally graces us with her presence.” She told him, her hands instinctively rubbing her 38, almost 39, week along belly at the thought of finally getting to meet her baby.

“I’d be careful wishing on that this close to your due date, Hailey. It might happen any day now.” He jokingly warned her, hoping he was providing some comfort with this distraction.

“I think it’s safe to say when it happens, you’ll be one of the first ones to know. I guess the first one to know if it happens during this call.” Hailey responded, though the only thing she could think of as silence fell was what she’d do if she were to go into labor now and Jay was nowhere to be found.

“Regardless, you know I’m here if you need me.” Will broke the silence.

“Thanks, Will. I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Alright, but seriously, call me if you need anything. I’ll be up all night.”

“I will. Thanks, again. Good luck with your shift.”

“Any time. Now stop worrying about that knucklehead and try to get some sleep.” Will jokingly ordered and with a mumble of agreement, Hailey hung up. Sleep… She really hoped she’d be able to get a little bit of it that night.

She’d given him about an hour after calling Will, called and texted a few times, but when those had gone unanswered once again, she’d moved to the next person on her list and called Kim, really hoping that they were really just working late and she wasn’t waking her up. “Hey, Hails, everything okay?” Like Will, Kim picked up the call in a few rings. It was almost as if everyone who knew Hailey was on call to answer her calls except for her husband. 

“Hey, sorry I’m calling so late. Am I interrupting anything?”

“No, no, actually Kev just came back from a coffee run so I was taking a break.” Kim answered, followed by a yawn. 

“Case wearing you down?”

“It’s a bad one. We found two of our suspects, who of course didn’t go down without a fight. One of them took a bullet to the knee so we are waiting for Med to release him into our custody when he’s done and the other’s downstairs.” Another yawn. “But looks like it’s gonna be a rough night. Well, I guess morning.”

“Everyone okay?” Hailey asked after hearing that their suspect had put up a fight. If he had gotten shot, it meant that he had started the shooting, and her heart started racing thinking all the worst case scenarios. Surely she would have been notified if something serious had happened to Jay, but with the way he had been so distant lately, maybe that had been it: he had gotten injured and was avoiding her calls. 

“Everyone’s good, came out without a scratch.” Hailey released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Hey, is everything okay with you?” Kim asked upon hearing Hailey’s loud exhale of breath. “Oh my god are you in labor?”

“No, everything’s good here. No baby just yet.” She answered quickly, getting that out of the way. “I was calling to see if Jay’s around. I’ve tried calling him a few times but his phone kept going to voicemail, but I guess you guys are busy so I’ll let you go.”

“Ummm, Hails, Jay left a while ago.”

“Oh?” Kim’s answer took Hailey by surprise, an unpleasant one. She lost her train of thoughts and stuttered as she tried finding the words to ask her next question. “Did he- umm, did he say where he was going?”

“No, sorry. We all figured he was gonna go home and get some sleep. It’s been a rough day for him.”

“What happened? Is he okay?” It felt weird to not know that Jay’d had a rough day. It felt weird being the one to ask what was happening with him. 

“One of the suspects we caught turned out to be ex-military. Someone Jay knew back in the day.” Kim told her. “I think Jay was hoping the lead would turn out to be bogus since his name came up a few days ago but…” The rest was obvious. Finding out an old buddy involved in such a disgusting case must have taken a toll on him, and understandably so. What Hailey couldn’t figure out was why he hadn’t talked to her about it, and the question hurt her more than she thought it would. “Jay must have gone on a drive or something. I’m sure he’s on his way home though.” 

“Yea, yea, you’re right. I’ve probably just been losing my mind from having to stay home.” She tried laughing it off again, just like she had done it with Will, but this new found

“Oh, tell me about it! A few days is enough to drive you insane.” Kim commented, as bittersweet it was, remembering having to stay back during her short lived pregnancy so many years ago. 

“Oh yea.” Hailey tried acting her usual chipper self but the fake smile plastered on her face failed to reach her voice. “Anyway, I should let you enjoy your break.”

“You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yea, yea, everything’s fine. I’m getting pretty tired anyway and you guys are busy.” She added a fake yawn to her sentence which made Kim yawn as well. “Thanks for the conversation.”

“You want one of us to drop by? I know Kevin’s about to head home for a quick nap and-”

“No, that’s fine.” Hailey cut her friend off before she could finish the sentence. “It’s pretty late.”

“Alright, well Adam, V and I are gonna be staying here tonight if you need anything. Just give us a call, alright?”

“Thanks, Kim. I really appreciate it. Enjoy your break and good luck!”

“Good night, Hails.” The line went dead, leaving Hailey to her thoughts, wondering where her husband was, worst case scenarios running through her head. The last time he had gone awol, he’d gotten kidnapped, shot and almost died. She couldn’t go through that again. Not now. Not when they were about to have it all. With tears in her eyes, Hailey swore he would never forgive Jay if he left them alone.

About another hour or so later, the clock almost hitting three in the morning, Hailey was just about ready to give up, go to bed. She was exhausted, achy, and really, all she wanted was to know that Jay was safe. They could deal with this, whatever it was, in the morning. Hell she didn't even care if it meant that he’d continue avoiding her, and she’d have to wobble to the precinct in her pajamas. That being said, she knew sleep was her enemy tonight and the moment she would decide to go to bed, the oh so tempting sleep that had been trying to pull her into dreamland would disappear the moment her head’d hit the pillow. Not that sleep was really an option with their daughter kicking up a storm in her belly either.

“It’s okay, munchkin.” Hailey rubbed the spot she kept feeling the kicks. “It’s all gonna be okay.” Realizing she had no tea left, she threw her blankets off and stood up to stretch. If she was going to stay up, she needed to keep herself otherwise occupied. “Let’s get mommy some tea and you some of those cookies you crave so much.”

Hailey was about to head to the kitchen to get herself another cup of tea and get a snack when the sound of the door opening startled her. Her head instinctively turned towards the source of the noise, and watched frozen as Jay’s silent silhouette moved in the foyer. She held her breath as her eyes followed his every move: The way he snuck into his own house, the way he took his jacket and shoes off as quietly as possible, thinking Hailey was already asleep, the way he tiptoed further into the dark house.  Watching his arm reach for living room light switch, Hailey prepared herself to face their current situation, and when the lights turned on, bringing the couple face to face, a loud silence surrounded them. “Hails? Why are you awake? Everything okay? Is it the baby?” Jay listed his questions, alarmed. 

“Yea, yea we are fine but I guess I should be the one asking you that.” Hailey shot back, needing him to know that what happened today was NOT okay. “What’s going on, Jay?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine.” He gave her his staple bullshit of an answer as he walked further in and towards her in the living room. “Just a long day at work.”

“Well, I know for a fact you’re not “fine”, so wanna try again?” Hailey crossed her arms over her chest, her words stopping him on his tracks to walk over to greet her.

“I-” He started but seemed to be at a loss of words. 

“Jay, I’m worried about you.” She cut him off at the realization that he needed a push before he’d really open up. “You haven’t picked up your phone or answered any of my texts and I had to find out from Kim that you had a rough day. What’s going on?”

“Hails, I’m just really tired and just want to go to sleep.” He was hiding behind an excuse, but at least it was an honest one, and Hailey considered that a good start.

“Alright, if that’s what you want, we can go to bed. I’m glad you’re safely home.” She told him with a flat yet soft tone. She didn’t want to discourage him from opening up, but his actions had terrified and hurt her, and she couldn’t just pretend that it was all fine now that he was home. “But we are gonna talk about this, Jay.” She added, letting him know he wasn’t off the hook. “What happened today, the radio silence… The last time that happened, I almost lost you and the thought of losing you, especially while I can’t even be out there,” The memory of what Angela Nelson put them through hitting her straight in the pregnancy hormones and feelings, she could feel tears welling in her eyes, but she wouldn’t cry. She refused to. “It, it terrified me,” She looked down her body in an attempt to avoid his eyes and blink away the tears as she protectively put both her hands on her bulging belly. “It terrified us.” She sighed. “We, we have to talk about it.”

“I can’t do anything right, can I?” Jay muttered more to himself than Hailey, disappointed in himself. He knew he was in the wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed Hailey away, but this case, these past few days, then what happened in the morning… It had brought up so many painful memories, so much rage, so much fear that he simply hadn’t known where to start. “You must hate me for what I put you through today, huh?”

“I don’t hate you, Jay. I will never hate you.” Hailey’s voice softened. “But I hate that after all this, you’re still trying to lie to me.”

“Hails…”

“Yes, Jay?”

“This case has been terrifying.” He started to confess. “When we found that pregnant girl, the way her body was left behind, all I could think of was you and what I would do if I found you like that.” He was finally opening up. “Then we found out that one of the suspects is an old army buddy of mine and when we interviewed him today…” He shook his head, the memory of the interrogation room replaying in his mind and he collapsed on the couch in defeat. “He looked me in the eyes and said “You’d make pretty babies. Should consider changing careers.” with the smuggest smile, and Hailey, the things I wanted to do to him for bringing our kid into it… And then all my anger turned into this fear of failing you and Aislyn and, God, Hailey, it paralyzed me. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Jay,” She got it. She really did, but the silence and distance had hurt. “Holding everything in doesn’t help you know.” She told him as she walked over to take a seat next to him and put a supportive hand on his back. “Why didn’t you tell me what was happening?”

“I know I should have.” He looked at her with tear sheathed eyes, his greens tired and broken. “I mean I know I could have come to you. I trust you more than I ever trust myself, but I didn’t want to worry you especially with how close you are to your due date. It felt like by burdening you with my worries, I’d be failing you two before we even became parents.”

“I understand, Jay, but not knowing what was going on with you and having to call our friends and family only to find out from Kim that you’ve been having a rough time with this case worried me so much. I felt like an outsider and not your wife and best friend.” She took a deep breath, giving Jay some time to process her words. “Your worries and fears and rage will never be a burden on me, Jay. We said for better or for worse when we said I do. Being pregnant doesn’t change that.”

“God, I love you and I’m so damn sorry.” Jay pulled Hailey into his body and apologized with a broken voice upon realizing how much he had hurt her. The last thing he wanted to do had been to hurt her, but he realized trying to not be a burden was more hurtful to their partnership than anything. “I promise I’ll do better.”

“I know you will.” Hailey snuggled into his embrace before turning in his arms to be able to look him in the eyes again. “I love you, Jay.” She cupped his cheek in her one hand, and grabbed and guided his hand to rest over her belly with her other. “We love you. Unconditionally. Just remember that the next time you feel overwhelmed and I’m not there.” Feeling their daughter’s kicks under their palms, Jay leaned down to press a kiss on her lips; a kiss meant to seal his promise, to show his love, to give them both hope that they were stronger for facing their challenges. 

Their last few days had really taken a toll on both of them, but with everything out in the open now, and promises of love and hope had been made, they knew they could tackle anything as long as they trusted in each other, even when they didn’t trust themselves. 

So when they finally got into bed, tightly holding one another close, their daughter’s soft movements between them, they finally got the relieved rest they had been needing that day.

- @puckluck28

[stardancerluv]

At War

Part 5a

Summary: The war is heating up.

Feeling a shift in the bed you let yourself wake up, today was not a day for sleeping in. Gloved finger tips brushed your hair aside. Blinking you looked and saw Roman sitting on the edge of the bed. He was already dressed for the day, his aftershave tickled your nose.

“I made you some tea.”

You sat up near him, you saw your mug sitting on your nightstand. Grabbing it you blew on the surface of the hot liquid. “When did you come to bed?”

“Late.” His mouth was that grim line again, he no longer looked soft.

You took a sip of your tea. “Should I get ready and join you in your office?”

“Yes, I want to keep you close by.”

“Ok.” You had a thought. You were not used to any of this. “Has she tried anything?”

He nodded. “There was a brief encounter but my men handled them.”

You put a hand over his that rested on the bed. “I hope this will be over soon.”

He turned his hand over and squeezed yours. He looked at you. “When she stops playing games and just attacks, it will be.”

You knew he liked running his club and this was a nuisance. “Have you heard from anyone else?”

He inhaled. “They are apparently on my side but don’t want to fight.”

“You will have to remember that when they come knocking.”

He squeezed your hand, the one side of his mouth curled up for a moment, “I like the way you think.”

******

You wrapped your hair up into a loose bun and then dressed as if for a day in your studio. You leaned against the marble, you missed that moment where you had caught Roman fast asleep.

Pushing, yourself off the counter you went and grabbed a drawing pad and a case of your drawing materials. Opening, the door of Roman’s office he was on the phone, you nodded at Victor was standing near him. You went silently over to the sofa, tucking one leg under you, you opened your drawing pad.

In between, biting down on a pencil or pen it was much easier sketching there then you had thought it would be.

An elaborate bookcase was taking shape when you felt hair pins being pulled from your hair. Looking up, you smiled.

*****

You kept on surprising him. What had blessed him with you? Your idea last night and now that passing remark, he was glad you were his.

He looked at you as you sat drawing on the sofa. They curve of your throat, the look of determination.

He could still feel as you had pressed a kiss to his lips as he slept. He had stirred when you turned. Truthfully, he had not minded. After seeing your bravery and you not flinching at his anger, he cared for you all the more. Honestly, he had grown to love you. But he would never be one to say it.

He looked over at Zsasz. “Go see if the men need anything. Grab food, whatever. Tell them I’ll be around shortly.”

“Sure thing boss.”

He looked over and finally pushed himself away from his desk. Going over to you, he glanced down at what you were working on. He liked it.

With adept fingers he pulled some of the pins you used to hold your hair in place. Your eyes met his.

“Hi lovely girl.” He whispered.

He loved the reactions he could pull from you. The way you brought a hand to your face, blushing and smiling.

“Hi Roman.”

He smiled. “You’ve managed to sketch in here.”

You nodded but then sighed as he let his hand drift up your neck and stopped at your hair line.

“I was, but I’m glad...” He squeezed gently.

“Glad about what baby?”

“You’ve distracted me.”

Gently, he moved his thumb. “How am I do that?”

“Your hand. It feels good.” You breathed.

“Mm, I’m glad. Your lips had felt good when I was trying to sleep earlier.” He loved the little o your lips formed. “I enjoyed waking to the feel of them but I’d like to feel them again, come here.”

Reluctantly, he let go of you. But watching you get up and come to him was worth it. You drew close enough that there was barely a breath between the two of you.

“Where you would like my lips, Roman?”

He felt your breath followed by your lips on his throat above his collar. He didn’t move as he felt you go up on your tip toes, your lips grazed his jaw he inhaled.

“Or perhaps here.” Your body moved slowly down his torso, grabbing his hand. It was the hand where his watch didn’t rest, you brushed aside his glove. When your eyes met his, they were twinkling. Moving just so you kissed the soft part of his wrist.

“Baby.” He breathed, his heart begun to be faster. “Let’s not start what we can’t finish.”

“Then just know I’ll be here waiting.”

He smirked. “I like the sound of that, kiss me for good luck.”

“Happily.”

It was soft and deep, he deepened it as held you closer to him.

“Roman, she’s here.”

Everything in him froze and distantly he felt your body stiffen. He pulled back, he met your eyes. “Stay here.”

He couldn’t read your expression but he didn’t have time.

“Alright. She wants a fight, a fight she will get.”

He went to the bedroom, practically tore his suit-jacket off. He heard something but didn’t pay attention. He could not get distracted. Slipping on his holster, he made sure his guns were loaded and ready.

Coming, out he slipped on his suit jacket back on.

“Zsasz, I don’t care.” You shouted.

“I will lock you up.” He shouted back.

Roman, knew what was going on now. He easily grabbed you, walked with you until, you were against the wall. You had put up a struggle but he easily held you.

“Now fucking listen.” He shouted. His heart raced so hard it, distantly he guessed it was because he cared so much. His blood was rushing through him and pounding in his head. “They easily killed Vanessa thinking it was you. They don’t fucking care.” He inhaled, he saw the tears. “Now stay fucking up here or I will have Zsasz, lock you up!”

He felt you tremble. “Ok.” You said softly.

“Good.” He bellowed, taking one last look at you; your eyes were watery but the tears didn’t fall. “Good.” He whispered and let you go.

He walked away with each step he realized just how much you were part of his life. Rounding a corner, he entered the private part of the penthouse, he punched in the code, then opening the door he walked in. His eyes fell onto his mask, his face for all of this.

His fingertips lightly touched the black marble, the coolness of it reached him through his gloves. He pulled it over his face. Time for action.

*****

You began to pace once Roman and Victor went down in the elevator. You wanted to stay up there but a part of you felt like you should help.

You stopped and you smelled something very odd. You felt a hand cover your mouth and nose. You barely breathed and everything went black.

@darling-i-read-it @spn-obsessed-dean @vintagemichelle91 @xxxeatyourh3artoutxxx @ewanfuckingmcgregor @zodiyack @angel98624 @frenchgirlinlondon @nebulastarr @emyliabernstein @thepeachreads @itsknife2meetu @omghappilyuniquebouquetlove @nomnomnomnamja @poe-kadot26 @top-rumbelle-fan @babydoll97 @hazel-nuss @vcat55 @feelthemadnessinside @rosionis @queenofgotham800 @brookisbi @peachthatdrinkslemonade @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @starwarsslytherin @proffesionalclown @chogisss @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @shantellorraine @xxinvisiblexx @pooshnulooshnu @speedypartyducksuitcase @blondekel77 @saphic-susperia @drarrylov3r @i-cant-hear-you16 @deadlymistress24 @yesqueenofthelight

[maggyoutthere]

| Red, Purple and Orange

This blog is now just me re-uploading stuff from my Amino accounts. More stuff from that AHIT Au I have. Spooky stuff with the Moonjumper. Also legit one of the things I'm the most proud of writing? Like ever?? I'm never repeating this again so hhh I wanna save it-

Anyways a few tws because this is a bit spooky. Nothing gory or unnerving happens but I know some people don't like just scary stuff in general so that's your warning

(this used to be divided in 2 parts but eh who needs that)

-

Red, purple and orange.

The whole manor was covered by them. Both inside and outside. Vivid warm colors embraced the whole building as if it was a strong loving hug from a long lost friend. It made the house itself warm. Red, purple and orange. These colors painted the empty dusty hallways as the house remained silent... or as silent as it could. The wooden floors and doors still creaked if touched, and the water running through the old pipes inside the walls made them rustle. The yellow light from outside created bridges of light as it entered through the windows. It had been a very very long time since something like that happened. Red, purple and orange. These colors painted the dusty and... not so empty hallways.

Hat Kid ran through the hallways of the manor. She giggled happily as her little feet thumped through the old wooden floors of the house, her yellow rubber boots squeaking as she ran. She'd put her yellow cape away since the weather started getting hotter. She'd never experienced something like this happening in Subcon. The cold Winter was over and Spring was rolling in with its warm sun and change of scenery. The kid had never seen the Subcon Forest so colorful. It was either always restricted to its ghostly dark purples or its ice-cold blues.

The trees were the most mesmerizing thing to look at. She'd never seen such colorful things. Their leafs were red, purple and orange. The tall trees towering over her and the entire village no longer seemed threatening or even scary. They looked like they'd come right out of a fairytale! The best part was that, when the sun was bright enough, like on that day, the leafs would reflect their colors on whatever was down below. As much as she loved the winter months she spent with her BFF and Vanessa, she couldn't fake it: she was absolutely amazed by this change of scenery.

A little after last year's Christmas, in the middle of January, Vanessa finally got the courage to give Hat Kid her very own Christmas gift. She felt bad for not giving the kid anything back on that day. And after the beautiful gift she'd given to her auntie... it didn't matter what it was. The point was that she found someone who she could trust. This little child who one day invaded her house, looking for some "time piece" thingy that Vanessa didn't even knew was there, had now become the closest she could call a friend.

On a cold winter morning, Vanessa woke up Hat Kid to a wonderful breakfast in bed and a small present. The queen explained to her the whole thing and offered her the shiny box. Still nomming on a freshly baked cookie, she teared through the wrapping paper, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. Inside the box was a small porcelain figure of a duck. Vanessa pulled it out of the box and showed Hat Kid the little key that was under it, as well as two wood wheels by its side. The queen turned the key a few times and set the toy down as Hat Kid watched, intrigued. The duck suddenly started moving, racing around the room! It went under the kid's bed and then around a few other toys scattered around the floor. The queen laughed as Hat Kid immediately jumped out of bed and started chasing the toy not just around the room, but around the whole manor, waking up everyone with her loud childish laughter.

Now, she was doing exactly the same, but not still in her pajamas. The brownish duck, with it's shiny yellow beak and shiny black eyes, raced down the corridors with the kid following right behind it. For some reason, some hallways were still pretty dark, even with all the light coming in from the windows. It's as if the light couldn't reflect on anything inside the manor, leaving the illuminated bits clear as day and, the rest of the manor, still pitch black. Like an immense dark void with only a few illuminated patches of floor scattered around, far away from eachother. If she wasn't careful enough, she could trip on things that were hidden in the dark, where she couldn't see them.

Red, purple and orange. The little duck turned the corner on one of the intersections and went to the left, away from the edge of the manor and into its inner corridors. There were no windows there. No light at all. Hat Kid felt hesitant, as if she knew she shouldn't even be there. But it was just a house, in fact, it was almost HER house now. She'd gotten so used to the peeled wallpaper and overall spooky vibe of the manor that it wasn't even scary anymore. And yet, she still felt like something was wrong. The hallway was completely dark, only the edge of the doorframe was visible. She couldn't tell where it led to. Her toy was going full speed into that corridor though. She couldn't lose her precious toy!

She took a deep breath, put on her determined expression and ran into the dark void. Her little feet still thumping loudly as she tried to listen for the squeaky sound of her toy as it echoed inside the corridor.

Red, purple, orange... and pitch black

-

Black.

She'd been running for a good few seconds now. Just straight forward. No looking back. That little toy of hers HAD to be somewhere around there. She could still hear it moving up ahead. She'd never really realised how fragile that thing probably was until now. I mean, it's porcelain! On wheels! A little crash or bump into some piece of furniture or even a wall might cause it to at least crack.

Hat Kid was finally starting to get legitimately worried. Where even was she? She'd sure never seen these parts of the manor. That was the only thing she still didn't feel familiar about the house: its layout. The manor played tricks on people, even on Vanessa, and she'd been living there for a very long time. Sure, it was big if seen from the outside, but once you'd step inside, you'd be bound to get lost if you didn't stay close to the windows. The inner corridors of the house were never blocked off. No warnings, no spooky tale about never going there, nothing. It was just common sense, something everybody around her knew, a rule that'd been taught by someone who not even time could remember by now. "Don't venture too deep into the manor. Don't go in the inner corridors of the house."

For some reason, she never really felt intrigued about it until now. Deep down, she knew she shouldn't go there. There didn't need to be any explanation or lesson to be taught. It was like one of those gut feelings; when, just by looking at something, you can tell it means danger. It makes you anxious. Not exactly scared, but unnerved, shaken. Like a primal fear of the darkness and the unknown. Suddenly, she snapped out of her train of thought. She thought she'd seen something. In the distance. What was that? Something was shining...

At the end of the dark void, she saw a light. There was another corridor there! An illuminated one! Oh thank goodness! She didn't knew how much longer she could've run for. She sprinted out of the corridor and back into the comforting light she left behind a few minutes ago.

Red, purple and orange.

The familiar sight immediately made her feel safe again. She was fine, everything was okay. She was still at home, nothing bad happened. Hat Kid leaned with her back against the wall behind her and took a deep breath. She then looked down and saw her toy next to her feet! It had probably reached the other end of the hallway and bumped into a wall. She crouched and picked it up.

After inspecting the toy for a few seconds, she could happily assure herself that it didn't had any cracks. She sighed in relief, turned the key on the toy's belly and dropped it. It creaked a little and speeded off down the new illuminated hallway. Hat Kid laughed and went back to her old self, chasing the toy again.

For a few minutes, it was like that whole incident was just a dream. The scary dark inner corridors of the manor seemed more like a nightmare than a memory now. It was just something that happened. She concluded that's just what it was: scary. The Subcon Forest was scary at first as well, but Hat Kid ended up getting used to it. The same applies to the manor that went from a haunted house to a home. But even those had somewhat of a "comforting" feeling to them. Subcon was dark, but Snatcher's "treehouse" was almost as cozy and bright as her own bedroom back in her ship. Vanessa's manor, despite being in bad shape, gained the feeling of an old home. It felt like a place you would go to spend the holidays or summer break. It had its charm and handful of funny secrets.

However, that corridor didn't share that house's same aesthetic. It felt odd, out-of-place. Maybe it was just too dark to even see anything at all, but just being there creeped her out. For some reason, she was fearing for her life, but there was nothing there that could hurt her. Well, not that she would be able to see it if it was there anyways. Now that she thought about it, what if there was something there? Something watching her? Something waiting? Something cruel, or even vile. Something...

Her train of thought was, yet again, interrupted by something outside of her own thoughts. She felt something. In the air. She could smell something. It was strong enough to pull her back into reality. The smell of something acid and bitter filled her tiny nose as she stopped on her tracks and covered her mouth and nostrils. What the peck WAS that?! It was so disgusting, so repugnant, enough to make her eyes tear up.

Red, purple and orange.

Her little toy slowed down and stopped right in front of her, just a few feet away. It stood still right in the middle of the long red carpet that covered the old wooden floor, illuminated by a window on the right side of the corridor. That stink was coming from somewhere near the toy, Hat Kid was sure of that. That same feeling came back. The primal fear of the darkness and the unknown. She had to get out of there. Something bad was going to happen. She just knew it. She had to get out of there now!

With the bit of bravery she had left, and with a free hand that wasn't covering her nose, she reached to grab her toy and run away as fast as possible. Then, out of the darkness, something quickly snatched her toy and pulled it into the black. Hat Kid jumped back. What... what was that?! What was happening? Was someone toying with her? Playing tricks on her? Was this Snatcher's doing? He sure loved to scare the kid, but she thought everyone was too busy doing their royal duties to play with her. She'd never seen her BFF using something like what she saw. What pulled her toy were a few shiny red ribbons. No, strings. Red strings, just quickly flowing and cutting through the air, fast enough for the kid's reflexes.

Hat Kid grasped her stomach. She felt like she was gonna throw up from the frightening atmosphere and the nauseous smell. Screw that toy. Vanessa would understand. She just needed to get out of there. She just needed to talk to someone who might know what was actually happening. The light from outside no longer seemed so inviting anymore. It was getting dark outside. The colors became cold and gained a certain blue-ish hue.

- Auntie! Auntie Ness! Help me! - the kid yelled as she lifted her head, hoping to make the sound somehow louder. And, as she did, she saw what was causing that smell.

Red, purple and orange

And yet...

she wished it was all black.

[hotpinkstaples]

Damn there’s a lot to cover so it’ll be in a few parts I’m anon bc I think ur cool and I want us to be on good terms but I’m not sure yet if we can disagree politely ;(

I got to disagree with you on some parts like Julius callously just straight up collecting ppl like Pokémon. He simply selected people who he thought had cool magic and a potential to be good warriors. He is both childish and ambitious. Simple as that.

He knew he had to create a strong squad so he could be WK one day and he did it in the nicest way possible. He helped Yami become more acquainted with the language and culture and made him a strong knight. He did the same thing for William. He showed kindness and respect when William had none and helped with his insecurities. William knew that realistically speaking, not everyone is going to accept his visage as graciously as Julius so he was content with at least one person(whom he regarded highly) knowing and accepting him. Giving someone a purpose and the will to live not a bad thing yk?

But at the same time, he achieved his goal to be Wizard King without stepping on anyone.

Though I have to agree that he flopped as WK to achieve what he wanted.

So I will preface this with four things:

Really, I am just a Siberian sheep farmer, and thus you are welcome to post a dissenting opinion at any time. I do not bite!! The rest of your asks are under the cut. :D

I have never read the light novels.

My knowledge is 75% anime, 25% manga. I started the anime and watched all the way to the beginning of the Heart mini-arc. Then I stopped and read the manga from where the anime stopped. Therefore, I only have knowledge of the story through the anime up to volume 23. Volumes 23 onwards, I’ve been manga-exclusive until recently, now that the anime is adapting from the manga.

I am a crackhead.

So for the Pokemon part, I was referring to Yami, but like... How you describe Julius is exactly how I’d imagine a Pokemon trainer. He’s a forty-year-old man and his passion in life is to look at shiny magic things, and that’s OK! Julius is an eccentric man, and there’s never anything wrong about being passionate about the things you love.

But at the same time, Julius’ passion is also one of his primary weapons because he did recruit William and Yami specifically because they had interesting/rare magic, and despite how passionate he is about magic, they were recruited for the military. They were also, arguably, at their most vulnerable when Julius came along. Yami was poor, illiterate in the Clover language, and not ashamed to walk off with a stranger for a simple meal, whereas William was basically the Clover equivalent of weird lil forest boy. Now, do I think Julius recruited them because he planned to take over the world? Absolutely not! But he did manage to recruit them into a system he would, eventually, go on to oversee, so it’s very difficult for me to view Julius as some flighty old man just asking cool magic people to join him when he’s shown to be one of the sharpest and coldest people in the room, and intelligent enough to forecast what power he needs to be able to leverage in order to maintain control.

And I agree - he’s ineffective as a leader, and incompetent at his job in general. However, I don’t think his incompetency is just because his head is in the clouds about magic. I think it’s also because of his privileged birth, his aimlessness in life before Zara came along, etc. In any other world, Julius would probably be your favorite archeologist living off daddy’s trust fund, but he’s not that. He’s the head of a military force and the face of a nation, and I truly believe he’s failed both.

As for toxic loyalty.... I would have to disagree. I think superficially Yami is just a dude going about his day, squatting in Mr. Legolant’s house with his Pokemon, but I don’t think Yami is so dumb that he doesn’t recognize how much he’s despised for being a migrant. You’re right, he doesn’t have to be a beacon of change for any other immigrants, but I think it depoliticizes his character and does an overall disservice to his narrative when race/species conflict, class conflict, and genocide are all key themes in the story. You’re right, Yami doesn’t give a fuck most of the time because he’s just not interested in social justice or bringing any meaningful impact to Clover politics, but it’s because he doesn’t give a fuck is the problem. Yami’s complacent in upholding Julius’ institution, just like William is complacent in Patolli’s acts of terror, because regardless of how Yami feels, he’s part of a larger military complex seeking to uphold the Crown, a crown Julius controls as leader of the military.

And I heavily disagree that William wasn’t focused on equality, discrimination, and all that jazz. William’s grimore was not dedicated to Julius pre-elf reincarnation. If it was, William’s struggle in deciding between Patolli and Julius would never have existed because Patolli would have either been contained and or exorcised before it got to the point that it did. More than that, William’s betrayal runs far deeper than the moment he receded to let Patolli chop off Fuegoleon’s arm and put him in a coma. No - William’s betrayal was a decade’s worth of actively building a squadron of bodies that would be fit to hold the souls of the elves once the reincarnation began. I’d argue that William implicitly chose Patolli from the start, even if he explicitly made the case that he didn’t really have a choice. In addition, William was aiding and abetting a terrorist whose entire motivation hinges on the genocide of his people. Sorry to say, but I can’t agree that William didn’t have these things in mind when he was making his choices.

For Fuegoleon and Nozel, I won’t argue they’re seeking to fulfill political ambitions. It’s true! They want the Crown because they want the power and can strive for it due to their position on the hierarchy.

As for overthinking Yami’s behavior... I like to overthink. Lemme tell you why. Yami being aware of Charlotte’s feelings aint the problem, and neither is his him getting into fights with Jack. No, the issue is Yami has a habit of collecting people like Pokemon when people shouldn’t be treated as such!

I make jokes that Yami never got management training, but lemme expand - he hired an ex-con, a mage whose true visage he didn’t learn about until the Underwater Sea Temple arc, an alcoholic with mommy issues, an anxiety-ridden taxi with daddy and brother issues, etc., basically all of the members have some kind of issue that stems from trauma/violence/etc and Yami just invites them to his squad like, literally, it’s a halfway house. Now, the people he recruits are grateful and all, but they’re all fucked up! Every one of them, except Asta.

And that’s why I say Asta was the wake-up call Yami needed, and the character that will drive Yami’s development, because Asta has something Yami doesn’t have - and that’s clarity. Asta’s history, his rise to power, his ambition, all of that hinges on a childhood raised with love and warmth even if he was born with what the kingdom could view as a disability (ie. no magic). Asta knows what he wants because his goals benefit more than just him. Asta wants it for Hage, for his adoptive father, and for his foster family. Asta has his eyes on the prize because his circumstances allowed for him to keep his eyes on the prize.

Yami does not have that level clarity in his life. You said it yourself - Yami isn’t the type to sweat the political stuff, he’s living because he can, and he surpasses his limits because he wants to and not because he has to. He leaves his squad to his business, and he expects them to get their shit together when necessary, but besides that, it’s hands-off.

And that’s where the issue is! Yami is detached from his own squad emotionally. Part of the reason why it’s easy to parentify Yami as the team dad because it’s assumed his detachment is a regular shounen-dad trait, not present but he loves you anyway. I don’t think that’s the case with Yami. I think it runs deeper than that, and part of the reason why Yami can’t bond with his own teammates and actually lead the squad is because he’s overcompensating for his own insecurities and inability to have a clear and necessary vision for his future.

The few times Yami has had to surpass his limits is when he’s had to protect his squad, people who are mentally ill and generally incompetent themselves, and it’s because Yami knows he’s the only one capable of doing it. And that’s a problem! Yami doesn’t offer them the tools to get better mentally and physically. It’s not even a joke anymore because Henry has tried murder-suicide twice in order to win a battle, and it’s for Yami. Before Asta, the Black Bulls were a fractured mess of people with Yami holding them together for dear life, but with Asta, they were able to see life beyond the comforts of the Black Bulls den. Vanessa and Finral faced their traumatic pasts. Grey finally found the courage to enhance her magic. Henry finally came out of the attic. In a way, the Black Bulls are also toxically loyal to Yami because Yami? He’s not a good leader either! Now, is that Yami’s fault? No, but he is responsible for the health and wellbeing of his squad, and his kidnapping by Zenon was testament that he’d ultimately failed in the only real responsibility he’s ever had. Maybe that’s overthinking Yami’s character and motivations, but I think that’s fine.

As for the civil war, that’s just something I would love to see because Bleach never did a Rukongai civil war when we were ripe for it. It’s pure self-indulgence! Of course I know neither Fuegoleon nor Nozel will start a civil war, but I like to think something will, and sometimes I think it will be Asta’s trial... and sometimes I think it will be something completely outta left field, but the concept fascinates me because much of the story is predicated on the ongoing issues of social and political injustice, race/species conflict, even if it’s all fluffed up with cool character designs. Now, a lot of why I want to see Black Clover attempt a civil war is because I hold Tabata to a standard simply because he claims his work is Berserk but for babies. Now, I never thought such a concept would come to light, but as a Berserk stan... I just wanna see if he’s worth his mettle! I think there’s a lot in the story that’s ripe for inter-Clover conflict, but I also understand his limitations. Yes, because it’s shounen, he can’t expand on certain themes, but like, he teases it well enough that it makes it, quite frankly, annoying as heck when he doesn’t pull through. Perhaps it’s my own fault for holding him to the standard, but like, if you gon say you gon write bootleg Berserk, then write bootleg Berserk!!!

I digress. Now, if a civil war were to begin, I honestly think it would be one mainly driven by what happens to Asta post-Spade. If Damnatio turns around and paints him as a hero for having saved the kingdom, then there won’t be any need for a civil war because uwu Asta will become Wizard King and do policy change from the top-down (trickle-down social and poltical justice).

But if Asta were to be charged and jailed anyway, just so he could take the fall for the amount of destruction that’s about to go down, then it doesn’t make sense for there not to be a civil war. Because once Asta goes down, who’s gonna become Wizard King? Yuno? The guy whose birthright is the Spade throne? Even if Yuno remains a Clover citizen, the chances of him becoming Wizard King are next to null because his parentage would be viewed as a conflict of interest.

So really, it’s not a question of who starts the war, but what propels the issue. We already know that in the context of the story, kin punishment exists, so if Asta has to take the fall, who’s to say his family won’t take it too? That the family in Hage and Yuno won’t have to bear the brunt of the blame in order to bring “peace” to the nation.

I’d like Tabata to go the route of a civil war because then he’d be forced to show that the issues in Clover run way deeper than just Augustus and the nobility. It’s their caste-like social structure, lack of infrastructure and resources for the people living in the “outer” areas, their discriminatory practices towards those of lower birth, racism, etc.

But again, that entirely depends on if Tabata wants to tell such a tale, or if he prefers Asta take the assimilationist route, save the day, and become the uwu hero. He can! It’s an easy way to frame things, and mirrors Lumiere’s Big Battle well enough, but I think a war would also be great so that it can really put Asta in a position to exercise his brain in the face of absolute loss, and spark hope from nothing. Asta is my favorite of the new generation of Shounen Jump protags because he has a level of potential I just don’t see in others. He has a drive, but he also has critical thinking skills, and he has a support system when shit gets real. I want to see Asta feel the weight of decisions beyond his control, so that he can experience decision-making from a place of true helplessness, which I honestly think will help him see that there’s more to the dream of being Wizard King than just climbing the ranks. It’s advocating for real change. It’s not only knowing how to empower the people, but also being able to actively challenge injustice in every form. It’s not full-on anarchy like Liebe, but it’s not just assimilationist politicking he was doing earlier. I think with a civil war, Asta will understand that there’s more to his world than just magic, and that he, as a non-magic person, can make change that doesn’t hinge on him following the rule of the law, because the laws have to change, and they can’t change when Asta’s forty and finally Wizard King, they have to happen now. A civil war will expose a lot of the underpinning issues and offer the cast a change to work through them! Also, it makes for good conflict uwu.

But that’s entirely my opinion!!! I’m a HUGE fan of historical political thrillers. Absolutely LOVE that shit. I wanna see it in Black Clover because selfishly, it would make me happy!!

[slusheeduck]

Binding Resolution

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3]

Chapter 4

              The walk to the village is a decent one, but much easier than the last time you went to the manor. After all, there’s no ice blocks, no spirit boxes, no broken bridge to vault over; you and the Prince just walk down a pretty path, carefully tying off the Dwellers’ letters as you go. (You do take a moment to look for Snatcher’s future house, but all you see is a giant tree. You wonder how he manages to hollow it if he’s a ghost, then wonder if it’ll ever actually need to be hollowed if you manage to save him. Not…that you’re 100% sure you will, but it pays to be positive.)

              “Penny for your thoughts, kiddo?” the Prince asks abruptly, managing to tie off his last letter and tuck it under his arm. “Do you even have pennies where you’re from?”

              You stare at him. You’ve never heard of a “penny” in your entire life.

              “I didn’t think so. Besides, you’ve got an awfully expressive face anyway, so I bet I can guess.” He holds out his hand, offering to take the letter you’ve been struggling with for the past few minutes. “You’re wondering why I’m with Vanessa when she gets…like that.”

              You stay quiet, waiting for him to continue. You’re sure he will; he’s not Snatcher, but he’s still Snatcher (if that makes sense? You’re not sure it does, and you’re glad you don’t have to explain it.) And, of course, he does.

              “Well, clearly I’m staying for the inevitable glut of power I’ll have when I’m crowned king.” You roll your eyes, and he smiles. “Good, you’re catching on. But yeah, that’s a joke. I don’t even want to be king over the whole land or anything; I’m more than happy with my forest. Here, let’s switch. You hold the finished letters, I tie the rest.” You swap loads; you can barely see over all the letters stacked in your arms.

As you struggle to keep a hold of the letters, you freeze as you feel your hat plucked from your head. The last time this happened in Subcon, you had exploding potions and minions chucked at you. Just as your heart starts to race, though, you feel something else plopped down on your head—much smaller and a little heavier. Carefully, you reach up one hand to touch it—metal. Did the Prince put his crown on you? You look up, and judging by the way he’s adjusting your hat on his head, you think he did.

              “What? I’m a sucker for a good hat. And I thought every little girl dreams of being a princess, which you are so long as you wear that.”

              You roll your eyes again.

              “Not into princesses, huh? Well, too bad. As long as you’re on my turf, what I say goes. And I say I get to wear your hat until we finish delivering the mail.”

              You smirk and tap the crown on your head. The Prince stops, then sighs.

              “I did say you were a princess with that on, didn’t I? And I could concede that and give you your hat back. Or I could remind you that you have stubby little arms that are currently full of an entire village’s worth of letters, and you wouldn’t be able to get it back if you tried.”

              Unfortunately, he has a point. You can’t reach your umbrella with all these letters in your arms, and dropping them might get them squished. And that’d just be mean. You sigh, adjusting the crown. Yeah, he’s definitely still Snatcher without being Snatcher.

              Except this one, weirdly, feels like an actual friend, not just a contractually obliged one.

              “Annnyway,” he says, tying off the last letter and tossing it at the first house you pass, “you want to know about me and Vanessa, and there’s no more hats to steal, so I guess I gotta quit stalling. Just chuck the letters at the houses you see, by the way, they’ll get them.”

You nod and start tossing the letters; you’ve done this before, so your aim is amazing.

“The truth is…I wasn’t her first pick. I wasn’t even a pick, as far as I know. She had some…childhood sweetheart or something. They were engaged, and then he just up and disappeared. Left her completely devastated. But the future queen has to get married, right? So her mom arranges a back-up with the next highest ranking unmarried man in the land, and that’s me.” He chuckles as he tosses a letter at a nearby Dweller, waving as they thank him profusely. “Let me tell ya, kiddo, nothing’s weirder than coming home from school for the summer and finding out you have a fiancée. Anyway, I expected for us to be one of those usual arranged marriage situations—you don’t actually care that much about each other, but you get along well enough to run a country. But then we met and…” He looks up at the sky, letting out a long breath. “I can’t explain it. Meeting her eyes was like…like someone had just plugged a socket into me. The whole world lit up. And then we got to talking and…look, you just…you caught her at a really bad time. Because she is so loving and headstrong and passionate. And…part of the problem is that her passion gets a little…intense.”

              You frown. Again, you’re no relationship expert, but freaking out over having someone love bacon seems a little more than “intense.” The Prince quickly shakes his head.

              “Look, when things are good between us, they are so, so good. She’s absolutely who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just…wish she was a little less jealous.” He tosses another letter to a Dweller, smiling as they hop up and down in excitement. “And thinking about what’ll happen to the forest when it’s in her control…” He shakes his head. “Jeez, what am I doing? You don’t want to hear about all this relationship junk, you’re just a kid.”

              You’re about to tell him that actually you are very interested in this particular relationship junk, because it might give you an idea of how to keep things from going sour. But instead, the Prince crouches down beside you and points up to a tree with a little door at the very top.

              “Instead, let’s talk about that last letter you got. I bet you your hat that you can’t get it all the way up there.”

              You should turn the conversation back around. But…that’d mean turning down a challenge, and you’re very competitive. You’ll bring it up after you get your hat back.

              You scramble up the tree easy as anything—in fact, it’s a little shorter than it is in the present, so you don’t even need a grappling hook. You get right on up to the door and gently slip the letter through the mail slot. You turn around to give the Prince the smuggest face you can.

              You really, really need to start paying more attention in Subcon. Because that turn shifts your footing just a tad, and the branch your standing on isn’t quite as thick as you think it is. And down you go.

              “Kid!”

              Lucky for you, you still have your backpack, and falling from high places is something you’re very used to now. Whipping out your umbrella and opening it is second nature by this point, and the last fourth of your fall is spent floating down gently before lightly landing on your feet in front of the Prince, who looks like he’s the one who had a thirty-foot fall. He lets out a nervous laugh and shakes his head.

              “Real…real efficient way of getting down, kid. Also real efficient way of giving the people around you heart attacks.”

              As he regains his composure, you hold out your hand in a silent demand for your hat.

              “What? Oh, the bet.” He shakes his head, then takes off the hat. He pauses, looking it over before smirking. “You know, private bets aren’t legally binding. So technically, I don’t have to give you anything.” As you open your mouth to argue, he chuckles and holds out your hat. “Lucky for you, I’m a man of my word. And besides, if you can look death right in the eyes like that, you deserve it.”

              You take the hat with a relieved sigh, popping it back on your head as the Prince picks his crown up from the ground. He dusts it off, then nods back up toward the path.

              “Well, our work’s done here, so it’s time to head back, I’d say.” He grins, tapping your hat before leading the way back to the path. “We make a pretty good team, don’t we, kiddo?”

              You smile as you follow him. Before your time jump, you would have never said that. Ever! But now…well, now, you kinda do make a good team, huh?

              All the more reason to keep him from becoming Snatcher in the future.

~

              The walk back to the Manor is a leisurely one, and the Prince chatters the whole way about where you could spend the night now that Vanessa’s back in her room.

              “We have a parlor with a pool table…maybe we could pop a mattress on it? You’re tiny enough that it should be pretty comfortable. Or maybe a little cot in the piano room? Oh, don’t worry, no one in the house plays, so it’s not like you’ll get woken up by it or anything. Ugh, I wanted to renovate the dungeon into a guest room—oh, yeah, we have a dungeon. Of course I don’t use it, that’s barbaric.—but the budget this year just was not having it. I guess if you don’t mind sleeping in a cell it’d be doable…”

              You’re not really listening. Instead, you’re considering your options. You still have that Time Piece in your bag, so you really can go forward at any time. And you have to, eventually—and you have to clean up the Time Rifts, and putting it off will just mean you have to do it later. But…at your core, you’re a fixer. You fixed up Rumbi. You fixed up your ship. Some birds even yelled at you about fixing the Bird Awards! So something in you just won’t let you leave until you fix whatever goes wrong here.

              But who knows how long it could be before then? Staying an extra couple days is doable, but what if they don’t break up for years? No one told you what could happen if someone chooses to stay in the past.

              You look up at the Prince, still chattering. Still alive and happy and genuinely nice, even with his weird, Snatcher-y sense of humor.

              Could you really live with yourself if you let him become what he does in the future? He’ll lose everything, and now you’ll lose a friend.

              You can’t do that. You have to stay.

              “Oh! The attic! I’m sure we have some old bed things up there, and it’s actually pretty cozy once you dust a little. When we get inside, I’ll…” The Prince suddenly trails off and slows his pace. You look up at him curiously, then up ahead.

              The manor’s in view, and standing on the porch is Queen Vanessa. Her arms are crossed, her entire body is rigid, and the air seems to have a chill in it as she stares hard at the two of you, obviously furious. The Prince holds out his hand, stopping you as he watches her. His face is composed, but his dark eyes are darting around at nothing in particular; it looks like he’s strategizing.

              The air is horribly tense. You think both of them are waiting for the other to move first, so for several minutes, they simply stand and stare at each other across the courtyard. Finally, the Prince inhales deeply, then lets out a long, slow breath. He takes a smooth step in front of you, and you can hear the put-on smile in his voice as he says, “Darling!”

              “You were supposed to be here when I woke up.”

              You shiver. This isn’t like her explosion at brunch. Her voice is quiet, full of rage but so quiet. It nearly sounds the way she did as she chased you through the manor.

              “I’m sorry, my love, I honestly thought you’d sleep longer. We had a little bit of a snafu ourselves, but we…”

              “You BROKE your PROMISE.”

              The Prince’s show of cheeriness drops, and he starts to step back before glancing back to see you. He swallows, then lifts his head.

              “I know. And I am so sorry, Vanessa. I’ll do what I can to make it up to you.”

              You peek around the Prince’s legs to look at Vanessa. For one moment, her eyes lock onto you. They’re still blue, but there’s so much rage and hatred in them that you’re just as frightened as you were when you met the blood red ones in the manor. It takes every bit of bravery you have not to immediately hide behind him again, but you don’t want her to think you’re afraid of her. Even if you really, really are.

              Finally, her gaze shifts back to the Prince’s. Then, through her teeth, she hisses, “Talk to me in the parlor. Alone.”

              He nods. “Of course, my princess.” He stays put as she turns and sweeps back inside, then lets out a sigh as he hits his forehead with the heel of his hand.

              “Stupid. I should know she never sleeps well after a trip,” he whispers to himself, then sighs before crouching down beside you. “Listen, kid, when we get inside, why don’t you go look for a room you like? The parlor…isn’t the best anyway.” He stands up and taps on your hat. “And put this in a safe place. Never know when someone’s gonna snatch it off ya.”

              The two of you walk into the manor. You can’t help but notice the Prince looks a little sick, but he quickly shakes it off and puts on a composed face. You wonder if that’s a royal thing or a grown-up thing, and you kind of hope it’s the first one, because you can’t ever imagine pretending like nothing’s wrong when clearly there’s a lot wrong. He glances down, noticing you’re still there.

              “Go on, kid, shoo. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

              You nod, starting to slowly walk toward the stairs. When you reach the bottom one, he finally goes into the parlor and shuts the door. You, of course, run back to the door as quickly as possible. The keyhole’s too small to see out of, but if you press your ear to it, you can hear everything crystal clear.

              “You lied to me.”

              “I didn’t lie, my love, it was a mistake.”

              “And how many more mistakes am I going to have to endure, hm? Am I going to have to listen to excuses like this when we’re married? Am I going to…going to have to constantly worry about where you are?”

              “Vanessa, I told you where I was. If you were really worried, you could have come out to the village with the two of us.”

              Vanessa muttered something you couldn’t quite make out, but given the noise the Prince makes, it can’t be all that good.

              “You cannot be serious.”

              “I am.”

              “For God’s sake, Vanessa, she’s a child.”

              “She has ruined this entire surprise I had for you! WE were supposed to spend the day together! WE are the ones getting married, but you’ve spent every waking moment with HER instead of ME!”

              “She’s lost!” the Prince snaps. “You should have seen her when she showed up, the poor thing could barely walk. She still hasn’t said a word this whole time she’s been here.” He huffs. “I’m just trying to get her back home.”

              “Oh, so playing mailman with her today was getting her home? Setting up brunch for her was getting her home?”

              “My god, am I not allowed to distract a little girl from getting scared?”

              “Not like this!” Vanessa shrieks. She takes a few deep breaths, then adds in a very low voice, “I want her gone. Immediately.”

              “Don’t be ridiculous, Vanessa.”

              “I am very serious. I want her out of here as quickly as possible, and I don’t want you seeing her ever again.”

              You feel your heart start to race. This is bad. This is really, horribly bad. If the Prince kicks you out, then it’s all over—he’s going to end up as Snatcher. Maybe he’ll say no. Maybe he’ll break up with her! Anything to buy you a little more time to fix things.

              You hear him let out an irritated sigh. “No. This is stupid. I love you, Vanessa, and I’m sorry that your surprise hasn’t worked out the way you planned. I’m sorry I broke my promise, and I will do anything to make it up to you. But getting this worked up over a lost little girl…it’s a new low for you.”

              You let out a sigh of relief. He did it, he stood up to her. You have some extra time.

              But then you hear a giggle. A not very nice sounding one.

              “Ohhh, my prince, my prince. You remember what happened with my last fiancé?”

              “I’m not like him. I’ll stay.”

              “He said the same thing. And then he disappeared.”

              “I’m not like him, Vanessa.”

              “You’ve heard the rumors, haven’t you? About how he might have disappeared. About how it might not have been his choice to be hardly more than a memory now?”

              This time, the Prince’s voice falters as he repeats, “I-I’ll stay.”

              “Oh, yes you will. I know you will, my princey-wincy.” Her voice lowers to a whisper, so quiet you have to mash your entire face against the door to hear. “But don’t test me like this. Rumors are just rumors, but I’d hate for you to find out if any of it was true.”

              There’s a very, very long silence that follows. You hear a small “smack,” like a kiss on the cheek, and Vanessa sweetly asks, “Well?”

               Another silence. Then, the Prince takes a long, shaking breath. “I’ll get her out of here. Right away.”

              “There we go. That’s all I ask for, my love. And now we’ll have the whole night to ourselves, just the two of us!”

              You lean against the door, feeling your heart sink in your chest. This is so much worse than you thought. Is fixing it even possible at this point?

              No. You can still do this. Anything is fixable.

              It has to be. [Chapter 5]

[missjanjie]

Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) | (2/?)

Title: Hold Me Tighter (Even Closer) Summary: A sequel to Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa are back at NYU, but with new and improved positions. Brooke’s ready to start her career as a professor when, as fate would have it, she realizes her TA, Jackie, might have the hots for a student named Jan. The couple just might see it as a sign to give two new girls the love story they found in the same place. Word Count: ~3k (this chapter) / ~6.1k (total) Relationship(s): Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo), Jankie (Jan Sport/Jackie Cox) Rating: E

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Jackie stood in the center of her apartment, hands on her hips, and exhaling deeply. She had spent the past few hours cleaning the place from top to bottom. Had it been a bit over the top? Perhaps, but she felt like she would be better off being too thorough than not enough. Maybe it wasn’t the first impression Jan would have of her, but it was one that would count.

She checked the time on her phone – she had finished with ten minutes to spare. Regardless of anything else, she was pretty proud of what she had accomplished, and she probably could put off cleaning for a couple weeks now. Who knew all she needed was just the right bit of motivation? With the time she had left, she poured herself a glass of wine. She earned it. Beyond that, she needed it.

A few moments later, there was a knock at the door and Jackie narrowly avoided spilling what was left of her wine as she set it down on the counter and raced to open the door. “Hey Jan,” she greeted casually, as if she hadn’t nearly tripped over herself to race to the door.

“Hi Jackie,” Jan chirped as she walked in, unaware of what had transpired, nor did she pick up on the fact that Jackie seemed slightly out of breath. “Okay,” she prompted, setting a purple folder on the table, “I’m ready for audition prep 101 with Miss Cox.”

Jackie picked up the folder, hand lingering on the counter while she decided whether or not to grab the glass as well. She settled against it, leading Jan into the living room. “So, how many songs do you have it narrowed down to?”

“I got it down to three,” she replied, waiting for Jackie to open the folder to see the pieces of sheet music as well as a few typed up monologues. “I have a couple tried and true ones, and one that’s a little new to me, but I think it fits the vibe of the show better.”

“Smart thinking,” Jackie praised, looking at the sheet music. “Who are you auditioning for again?”

“I thought it over, and I’m gonna go for Veronica. It’s kind of out of my comfort zone, but that’s what excites me about it, you know? If there was ever a chance to break out of what I usually do, this would be it,” Jan explained. “So, if that narrows it down any further…”

“Oh, it only leaves one option,” Jackie said simply. “‘Everything Else’ is the only one with the right energy, the other ones are too… cute, too lighthearted.” She handed Jan the sheet music.

Jan nodded and took the paper. “I trust you implicitly.”

“At your own risk.” Jackie chuckled. “Will you sing for me? I’d like to hear you go through your number, see if anything needs to be tweaked,” she told her, but she also just really wanted to hear her sing. Jan seemed so bright and confident, she was eager to know where that came from.

And Jan seemed more than willing to oblige. “Of course, I have the music on my phone, if you have a speaker or something that I can plug into.”

Jackie nodded and helped Jan get set up. “I want you to run through the whole thing, that way we can pick out the best section for your sixteen bars,” she explained. She sat down on her couch, looking as Jan stood in front of her, the student taking a few preparatory breaths.

And then Jan started singing, and everything made sense for Jackie - why Jan was in this program, why she exuded such a positive confidence. Her voice was immaculate, it captivated Jackie’s attention even more than their first meeting. And she must have shown her approval, because Jan seemed excited by her expression once she’d finished the song.

“So that was good?” Jan asked, eyes bright and hopeful.

“Perfect, are you sure you even need my help?” Jackie teased. “Here, I’m gonna highlight the bars on the sheet music,” she said, standing up and motioning her over to the dining room table.

Jan moved to stand right behind Jackie, perched up on her tiptoes to rest her chin on her shoulder, hand resting on her waist. “I’m excited about this. I wish you could be in the room or something, like a good luck charm.”

Jackie let out a soft chuckle. “You think I’m a good luck charm?”

She shrugged and smiled. “I dunno, I feel a good energy with you. Like, your presence is warm and calming. It’s a good balance, considering my default is the same as a person that took half a bottle of caffeine pills.”

That brought a slight blush to Jackie’s cheeks. She turned, giving her a hug, one she wanted more than she would ever let on. “Well, that’s very kind of you to say.”

“You smell nice,” Jan observed before Jackie pulled back from the hug.

“Oh, thank you.” Jackie grinned, doing her damndest not to get flustered. “Um, do you want something to drink? I was having a glass of wine myself,” she said, already walking over to her glass.

“I’m not twenty-one, but I won’t tell if you won’t,” she hummed.

Jackie chuckled, pouring Jan a glass as well. “I’m from Canada; it’s eighteen there, so we can play by my rules.” She winked.

Jan’s brow rose as she accepted the glass. “Oh, so you’re the boss here?” she asked as she took a sip.

“This is my house,” she pointed out with a light laugh. “Ergo, my rules.”

“Oh, we’re using our fancy adverbs now. Point taken,” Jan teased, then held her glass up. “Cheers!”

Jackie grinned, clinking their glasses and taking a sip. And for a moment, everything was calm and relaxed, but then there was a sudden, loud crack of thunder that made them both jump. They both looked out the window and saw that rain was pouring down as if it were a storm of biblical proportions.

“Shit, it’s really coming down hard out there,” Jan observed. “Wasn’t even raining when I got here.”

“I can’t let you go back out there,” Jackie shook her head. “You can stay here at least until the rain lets up, I don’t mind if you crash here if it doesn’t,” she offered.

Jan let out a small sigh of relief. “Yeah, if you don’t mind, of course,” she replied, as if she hadn’t been hoping for the offer. “It’ll be fun, we can get wine drunk and watch bad reality TV.”

Jackie started to open her mouth to agree, then paused. “Have you eaten yet? You should definitely have some dinner if you’re going to keep drinking,” she said, setting her glass down so she could go and rifle through her fridge. “I have leftover sushi if you want, or I can make sandwiches or something.”

Something about the naturally kind and doting demeanor Jackie had instantly put Jan at ease. It made her feel warm and comfortable, like they had known each other for years without the awkward pretenses that sometimes came with meeting someone new. “Whatever’s easier. I’m not a picky eater.” She shrugged.

While Jackie decided on the sushi and got that out, Jan was pouring herself another glass of wine, and topped Jackie’s glass off as well. “Thank you,” she hummed when Jackie handed her the plate, setting it on the table and sitting down to eat. “Y’know, everyone always says that sushi never tastes as good on the second day, but like, they’re just snobs. It’s totally just as good. Or maybe my standards are low, whatever.”

Jackie giggled softly as she listened. She didn’t know if it was the alcohol that made Jan ramble like that, or if that was just part of her personality. Either way, she thought it was adorable, and sat next to her as she hung onto her every word. “I think leftovers are underrated as a whole,” she agreed.

“You get me.” Jan beamed, one hand over her heart and the other on Jackie’s shoulder.

She bit down on her lip, not knowing how loud the laugh that nearly escaped would’ve been, and put her hand on top of Jan’s. “I try,” she cooed, then stood up. “Come on, let’s go watch TV,” she said and moved them to the couch, then topped off their glasses.

Jan sat down next to Jackie, as close as she could physically be without sitting on her lap. In her defense, this was always how she’d get after a couple of drinks – touchy-feely, flirty, and yes, even more talkative than normal, as demonstrated by the tangent she went off on about the show they were watching.

And Jackie wasn’t exactly complaining – especially about the touchy-feely part. The alcohol was affecting her as well; the part of her brain that was constantly plagued with overthinking and worry was always the first to go once she started to get tipsy, and neither of them had stopped drinking as they continued half-watching TV.

“God, you’re so pretty,” she said, not realizing it was out loud.

Not that it would’ve been a problem, as Jan just seemed to appreciate the compliment. “Aw, thank you! I think you’re super pretty too.”

“Do you really?”

Jan scoffed. “Of course I do. I thought you were hot since I first saw you,” she said, tossing her ponytail off her shoulder as she picked her glass back up.

“This is news to me,” Jackie admitted as she had more to drink as well.

“That’s why I’m telling you, duh,” she giggled, then turned to better face her. “Your hair is so nice and thick and shiny,” she observed, immediately going to play with it, running her hands through it and twirling pieces around her fingers.

Jackie let out a content sigh as Jan’s fingers wove through her hair. “Careful,” she warned, “this is practically foreplay for me.”

Jan smirked, her arms draping around Jackie’s neck. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, but neither of them would’ve been able to say who initiated the kiss, just that one second they weren’t kissing, and the next second they were. They could still taste the wine one each other’s lips as they let the deep, languid kiss continue.

Jackie pulled Jan onto her lap, arms wrapping around her waist. She trailed her lips along Jan’s jaw and down her neck, starting by just kissing and nipping along the expanse of skin before leaving a mark just where her neck met her collarbone. Her hands moved up and down Jan’s body, starting to push up her shirt.

Jan was a bit more direct, swiftly undoing the buttons on Jackie’s blouse and slipping it off her shoulders. Their lips reconnected in another heated kiss, and she gripped Jackie’s hair with one hand while the other pushed her bra up and palmed over her breast.

That gave Jackie enough reason to follow her lead, pulling Jan’s shirt off and pulling her close, their bodies flush up against each other. She unhooked her bra soon after, tossing it aside and letting her hands explore Jan’s bare torso.

The way Jackie’s hands felt against her body sent goosebumps all over Jan’s skin. Jackie’s hands were smooth and warm and made her arch into each touch. She started to grind against Jackie as well, straddling her thigh to better do so.

Jackie was fairly certain that she had never seen anything hotter than Jan grinding on her thigh, or heard anything hotter than the little whimpers and whines she let out. It landed on top of Jan’s sheet music, pushing a couple pages onto the floor, but neither of them noticed in the slightest.

Any sense of control or inhibition that Jan had entered Jackie’s apartment with had long since gone out the window. She tossed her head back, letting out sharp, breathy moans as she continued to grind on Jackie’s thigh with more and more fervor and desire.

Jackie caressed Jan’s body, hands moving up and down her sides, memorizing every curve with her fingertips. She pressed open-mouthed kisses between her breasts, down to her stomach as far as she could reach, eyes flicking up to watch the expression of relaxed pleasure on Jan’s face.

“Oh fuck, fuck,” Jan’s voice was higher, more strained, and it wasn’t long before she realized she was chasing the orgasm that was rapidly approaching. Her hips were bucking more erratically and she was grabbing onto Jackie wherever she could.

“That’s it, come for me,” Jackie cooed, kissing and sucking at Jan’s neck as she held her through her orgasm. And once she felt Jan let herself go limp in her arms, she scooped her up and carried her into bed.

They laid in bed quietly, nothing but the sounds of thunder and rain hammering against the windows to be heard. It was calm, but with the distant tinge of anxiety because neither of them knew what to say. What was there to say after that?

Jackie turned to face Jan, hoping the words would come to her. But to her relief, Jan had passed out. And Jackie had to admit, she looked just as beautiful asleep.

------

Jan was the first to wake up the next morning, groggy and disoriented, but not quite hungover. She wasn’t sure how she should feel about waking up topless in Jackie’s bed – guilty? Confused? Stressed? It wasn’t that she regretted it, but she was afraid that it would complicate what was supposed to be a friendship at most.

Time was ticking away before Jackie would wake up, and Jan needed to decide what she wanted to do, and quickly. She pushed herself out of bed and went into the other room to get dressed. As she went back into the bedroom, she noticed that Jackie had personalized stationary on her desk (because of course she did). Jan decided that leaving a note and bailing was the best option - it was more personal than a text and she was still able to avoid confrontation.

Hi Jackie!

Sorry to run out on you like this, I had to get somewhere in a rush. But I had a great time with you last night, and I’ll see you in class on Monday. :)

Jan ♥

Jan wondered if the heart was too much, but decided it would be worse to erase it, so she left it on Jackie’s nightstand and quietly left. And she kept her fast pace, making it back to her dorm in record time. The second she got back to her dorm, she flopped onto her bed and screamed into her pillow.

“Rough night?” Lemon asked as she casually looked over at her disheveled and distressed roommate. “Not like you to spend it elsewhere.”

“Got caught in the storm, stayed with a friend,” she mumbled as she sat up.

Lemon arched her brow. “You get hickies from your friends often?”

Jan’s eyes widened as she turned to look in the mirror. Sure enough, there were multiple visible bruises littering her neck. “Oh, fuck me.”

“Looks like someone already did.”

“We didn’t have sex!” she insisted, unable to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. “I mean, even by lesbian standards, it wasn’t sex. We weren’t even naked.”

Lemon continued to look at Jan as if she were insisting the Earth was flat. “First of all, as a lesbian, I have no fucking idea what ‘lesbian standards’ are and I don’t want to know. Second, Even if it wasn’t ‘technically’ sex, it was enough to get you all worked up like this.”

Jan groaned and laid on her back. “It just shouldn’t have happened… It was my TA, Lem.”

“Damn, you gonna get some extra credit at least?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know why I tell you things,” she murmured, reaching for her phone. She knew telling Gigi wouldn’t be any easier, but it wasn’t exactly something she would be able to keep as a secret.

And when Jan did meet up with Gigi, she wasn’t dreading the confession any less. They sat in a booth at a nearby diner, placing a brunch order before she decided she needed to just rip the bandage off. “I spent the night with Jackie.”

Gigi nearly spit her coffee out at that. “You did? Why? What happened? Don’t you skip any fucking details, Sport.”

Jan chewed on her lip. “The storm was really bad, so we decided I’d just stay there. Then we had some wine… well, a lot of wine. And we… We didn’t fuck, per sé, but things got very heated.”

“That would explain why you’re wearing a scarf in seventy degree weather.” she nodded as if she were making an astute observation. “So what happened when you guys woke up?”

Jan’s gaze drifted down to the table. “I woke up before she did, left her a note and went back to my dorm while she was asleep.”

Gigi looked at her friend like she was ready to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. But instead she just asked, “Are you fucking stupid?”

To which Jan shrugged and replied, “Maybe.” There was a brief pause as they received their meals. “But can you be specific as to why, though?”

“This was literally a sign that you guys have a connection, at least a physical one. The least you could’ve done is talk to her, how’s she going to take it as anything other than you not being interested, and don’t you try and act like you’re not.”

“I’m not not interested,” Jan conceded. “I just… It shouldn’t have happened like this, you know? I went over there to practice for my audition, not to dry hump her fucking thigh.”

Gigi did her best to listen and be the supportive friend that Jan clearly needed. “Look, you can’t un-fuck up how you handled that,” she started. “We just need to figure out where to go from here.”

Jan nodded in agreement as she picked at her food. Where did she go from here? Her heart said back to Jackie, but her brain said into a coma, ideally.