#they still cant bring themself to believe in a better future just a now worth fighting for
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Unit swap au making me feel things. Specifically Mafuyu. Stupid motherfucker who cares too much abt everything all the time
#rat rambles#sekai posting#unit swap au#also thinking abt a potebtial even with mafuyu and mizuki since mafuyu's words were the fibal nail in the coffin for mizuki back then#mafuyu basically pulled out the this wont last so whats the point card on mizuki and it fucked them up rly badly#because mafuyu specifically targeted their relationship with kanade who had just stopped talking to them#and before that kanade was the one person mizuki thought would always be with them#and mafuyu knew how targeted and cruel they were being but was desperate to stop mizuki from changing their mind#and as the group started to reconnect it came back to them like a truck. mizuki was even still clearly very effected by it.#but they dont know what to do about it. they cant like unsay it and they have no idea how to reasure mizuki when mafuyu themself is still#unsure abt their future themself#they still cant bring themself to believe in a better future just a now worth fighting for#its just them being like ok what would ena say. and then them just rendering an image of ena bonking them on the head and being like ok idk#and ena is seperately trying her best to support mizuki too but mafuyu can tell mizuki still sees them as a reminder and as not wrong#and thats what drives mafuyu crazy because they both think mizuki is wrong but also cant bring themself to believe theyre wrong#like they were wrong to say it but they rly struggle to challenge the belief itself even if they arent acting on it#basically they dont want mizuki to not believe in their future but they dont know how to callenge it since they also dont fully#and theyve convinced themself that this is their responsibility now which isnt helping#old habits die hard#honestly they and canon kanade are interesting to compare to me because of how similar yet vastly different they are#the main difference is that kanade is more fueled by self loathing#and also kanade defines her worth by her ability to 'save' others while unit swap mafuyu believes it is their duty to save those they see#as below them not necesarily in a theyre lesser sense but more like they feel the need to be the hero#kanade sees herself as a servant and mafuyu sees themself as the only thing that can do anything abt the hurt ppl they care abt#I also wanna think more abt unit swap kanade abd canon mafuyu similaritirs ahd differebces#cause like unit swap kanade has a lot more directed anger at those around her and shes a lot more aware of it and hates herself for it#mafuyu has anger. but they dont rly internalise it a lot#unit swap kanade super does and shes decided its because shes just inherently a horrible person who doesnt deserve to be angry#mafuyu is fighting to feel better but has no idea how. unit swap kanade puts every ounce of energy into feeling worse cause she cany fathom#doing anythinh else
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