#they started saying that four years ago. sixth grade was seven years ago.

[the-lincyclopedia]

Reading tag game! Tagged by @newtsoftheworldunite (thanks for the tag, love). Tagging @jonsaremembers, @polestarneighbor, @cricketnationrise, and anyone else who wants to play!

Last book I read: A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. I loved it SO much. It's about a trans woman who is presumed dead in the Napoleonic Wars and takes the opportunity to start living as herself, and now she's meeting her childhood best friend for the first time since they got separated in battle two years ago. He doesn't know she's transitioned, and he's wracked by guilt about her supposed death. The queer rep and disability rep really resonated with me, and Alexis Hall's romances have a tendency to be exactly what I want.

Book I recommend: The Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner. Truly the series of all time. The layers! I have so much trouble explaining to people what it's about, but here goes: it's classified as YA fantasy, but it's pushing the bounds of both YA and fantasy. The main character starts out as a teenager but is very much an adult for most of the series. It's secondary world, but the fantasy elements come in the form of interventions from the gods, not spell-casting. Anyway, some of the books have quest vibes while others are more about court politics and intrigue, but what I love most is how much the characters come to love each other, and also how many well-set-up twists there are.

Book I couldn't put down: I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston! I got super burnt out on reading by overworking myself in school, and it took like four years to get back to the point where I could read for more than about 20 pages at once, and the book that finally broke through for me was I Kissed Shara Wheeler. It's a delightfully queer YA romance with an extremely well-developed ensemble cast, and it earns its ending in a way I really hadn't expected. Plus, this is probably the smartest, most hardworking cast of high schoolers I've seen in a YA book, and that made me feel very seen.

Book I've read twice: I'm gonna say King of Shadows by Susan Cooper, which I've actually read more like seven or eight times. It's about a child actor in 1999 who's acting at the reconstructed Globe Theatre in London and gets yanked back in time 400 years to act with Shakespeare at the original Globe in 1599. It was my introduction to Shakespeare when I read it for the first time at age 12, and I read A Midsummer Night's Dream by myself because of it. The book has a lot to say about parental-type relationships between adults and kids, as well as about grief and healing. I love it a lot.

A book on my TBR: When Women Ruled the World by Kara Cooney. It's about the female pharoahs of ancient Egypt, and I got it when an ancient Egypt exhibit came to my local art museum several years ago, and I still haven't read it. The topic is particularly interesting to me because I played one of those female pharoahs, Hatshepsut, in a play my best friend wrote in sixth grade. I'm hoping to read it in the next few weeks.

A book I have put down: Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall. As I mentioned, Alexis Hall's romances often really hook me! But this one started with Rosaline lying about basically her entire life to one of the love interests, and it was heading toward a love triangle, so I DNFed about 30 pages in. I was really glad I got it from the library and didn't buy it.

A book on my wish list: I'm honestly trying to get rid of some books because I'm about to move! I wasn't a big book buyer until a couple years ago, anyway, and I'm not sure I like that I've become more likely to buy books recently. I want to get back into a library habit.

A favourite book from childhood: I loved the Dear America series in late elementary/early middle school and read basically nothing else for my entire fifth grade year. I honestly still think about those books almost every day, and there are lines I can still quote from memory. My favorite is probably Where Have All the Flowers Gone? The Diary of Molly MacKenzie Flaherty, Boston, Massachusetts, 1968. It's about a teenage girl whose brother is serving in Vietnam, and it has a companion book in the My Name Is America series (the series with boys' fictional diaries) from her brother's perspective.

A book I would give a friend: The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. Pratchett is popular for a reason, and I loved starting my Discworld adventures with the Tiffany Aching series. Tiffany is only nine years old in the first book, and she is so much like I remember being at that age, angry and underestimated and clever and determined. I love watching her grow up, but I love where she starts, too.

A book of poetry or lyrics I own: I own very little poetry, and I don't really read it, but I do own a collection of Shakespeare's sonnets that my partner gave me, which is good because I'm trying to write more sonnets about my partner than Shakespeare wrote, total.

A non-fiction book I own: Lingo by Gaston Dorren. It's a collection of essays about 60 European languages, one essay per language. I used to fancy myself a linguist, and I had a great time learning about a whole bunch of languages in bite-sized chunks from this book.

Currently reading: The Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray. I'm a sucker for classic lit spinoffs, and so far I'm enjoying the way the author is basically rolling around in Austen's work in sheer giddiness.

Planning on reading next: Probably When Women Ruled the World, mentioned above, but after that, maybe The Daughter of Sherlock Holmes by Leonard Goldberg. As I said: classic lit spinoffs.

[amandamgsblog]

Chapter 1 - College and First Impressions

"I'm tired. I want to go out of here".

Amanda's POV

7:30 in the morning and I'm woken up by a loud knock on the door:

— Amanda, wake up! Half past seven! Have you forgotten that today is your first day at college?

— I'm comiiiing! - I wake up and stretch out on the bed. - I shiver when she knocks on the door, it's like she's going to burst in…

Hi, how are you? Yes, you're the one behind the screen. I'm Amanda, I'm eighteen and today, unfortunately, I'm starting college. I graduated from school two months ago, but in an attempt to “not waste my time doing nothing”, as my mother always says, she forced me to choose a course in a short time.

I chose Languages and Literature because I love Portuguese, especially grammar, and English too. I've always liked literature. I hope it works out, because I discarded all the other courses because I thought they didn't suit me at all. ~cof Exact Sciences and Biology cof ~

I go into the kitchen, kiss my mother on the cheek and get the food from the fridge. Me, my mother and my sister, who is ten years older than me, live in an apartment. My parents split up soon after I was born, but they lived together in the same house until I was ten. Then they each moved into their own apartment. Oh, and there are my pets!

Shakira (yes, because of the singer) and Lola are my cockatiels, and Tião is our parrot. I've always loved animals, but I have a passion for birds. I don't know what I'd do without mine…

— Excited? - My mother, Melissa, asks.

— No… - I look back at my plate. — Mom, I don't even know if it's going to work out. Isn't it better if I wait a year?

— We've already talked… - She's serious. - I didn't raise you practically alone so you wouldn't have a job.

She's always been overprotective when it comes to me… She had a complication during my pregnancy and I had to be rushed out when she was at the fifth month of pregnancy. I was born prematurely, weighing just over 21.1 oz, and because of the lack of oxygen at birth, I have some problems with my speech and walking. But compared to what I was born with, I'm a thousand times better.

I roll my eyes and speak with fear:

— You know how insecure I am… What if the bullying comes back?

When I was a little kid, about four years old, there were jokes like “gee, don't you run?” or “what about that strange thing on your leg?”, which was my boot that helped me walk, or the worst: “You speak too quietly.”

I remembered at that moment the laughter I received. With the lack of oxygen at birth, my brain stopped working and affected the entire left side of my body, where the damage was most severe, and the right side too, to a much lesser degree. But I'm glad I can move. My left vocal cord hardly moves at all, so all the work is left to the right. The result: my voice is much lower and hoarser than that of the average person, even though I've had various treatments over the years. But it could be worse, right?

My arm and leg muscles have also been affected: I have much less strength than “normal” people and have difficulty walking on my left side. Then, when I played or ran, the children would talk… But we were children, so I didn't even know what was happening. Everything got worse when I changed schools in sixth grade. I fell for a boy, he found out and started making fun of me. It was my fault, too, because I couldn't deal with my feelings when I found out that he hated me, in actually and that he was dating several girls. I begged him to date me and he threatened to record it and put it on the internet. Both he and I were idiots…

From the eighth grade to the senior year of high school, I liked other boys afterwards, but for a short time and with little intensity. Nothing happened either, so I completely forgot about those boys. I remembered all this and started to cry. I hope I don't fall in love for a long time yet…

I took the cockatiels on my lap and gave them a piece of my bread.

Starving… It's like there's no food.

— Daughter, don't let anyone get to you like this. You're going to start college! - She smiles. - People are much more mature.

— In theory, mom.

I finished my breakfast and put the plate in the kitchen. I was going to walk down the corridor as usual, but…

SPARROWS!!!

The morning screams.

My parrot is Tião, or “green ball”, as I sometimes call it. Ever since the cockatiels arrived ten years ago, he's had a habit of shouting “sparrow” when it sees them. That's because my mother and I call them “sparrow”, because of the way they run around the house when they come out of their cage and because they're small.

He always gives a few shrieks during the day which, to be honest, I still haven't got used to. Even after fourteen years.

— You pay me, Tião! I won't give you any more of my bread either. - I huffed and went to my room to get ready. I hope it was VERY worth getting out of bed today…

A few hours later…

I've just arrived at the college I'm going to study at. My God, it's GIANT in here!!! I'M GOING TO GET LOST HERE!

Huum… Geography, no. History, Pedagogy, Languages and Literature!

I found it. Building 6… There's no map here?! Oh, the signs. This is building 1, just go straight ahead and you'll find 6… Easy… I found my name on the list. I walked down a corridor and found my classroom.

Room 115. You can do it, just go in.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. My jaw hit the floor. I've never seen a classroom this big! There must be sixty people in here! I've got an hour and a half to go, there's no one in the room yet and all this stress and lunchtime digestion is making me sleepy…

SNOOZE TIME!!!

I ran to the table in front of me and fell asleep.

Ross' POV

8:00 and my alarm goes off. Droga (Crap).

What's up? My name is Ross. And, yes, people here can't pronounce it properly, haha… My story is a bit complicated to understand, but here we go:

My parents, Stormie and Mark, are American and lived in rural Colorado. At the age of thirty, they had already been married for five years and wanted to move to a different place: Brazil.

Belo Horizonte, the capital of Minas Gerais state, to be specific.

They learned a language they didn't know, Portuguese, perfectly, and learned about the culture of the country and of the state. The whole neighborhood is in love with them.

They always spent holidays and birthdays in Littleton, my hometown. On one of these trips there, they stayed for just two days at my maternal grandparents' house, because my mother started to go into labor. So everyone stayed at my grandparents' for a month until I grew up a bit and we went back to Brazil.

Throughout my childhood, I followed my parents on trips. Not that I minded, it's really nice… During my teens, I stopped going as much because school wouldn't let me. Now I'm going to college and that's another reason why I have to wake up today…

— Morning. - I smiled at my family, who were having breakfast together, as usual.

— Hi, son. - My parents reply. — Excited about college today?

— Yes, dad. It's going to be great… I've always liked Literature, and then I'll be able to study texts from here and from United States at the same time and in a much deeper way. Who knows, maybe I'll be a teacher in the future?

— You will, hun. We're so proud of you. - My mother hugs me. We finish ourbreakfast and I go to get ready. I arrive at the college and I'm startled by the size.

I'm going to be lost here… Great, Ross, you can't even look up for a map!

I wander around the main courtyard, which is huge, until I meet some friends from school, Pedro and Artur.

They show me where my building is and they invite me to the cafeteria. We talk about these two months: the vacations, who in the class is dating and who is single, the courses, how the teachers at school are doing.

— Guys, even with forty-five minutes to go, I'd better go. It was good to catch up with you…

— It was great too, brother! Let's not lose touch. - Pedro says.

— Yeah! And this week there's a freshman party in the nightclubs around the college, they say lots of hot girls are going to these parties… Who knows, maybe our Rossy Bossy will get a one night stand? - Artie squeezes my cheeks tightly and says the nickname my mother gave me when I was little. — I can find you someone from Accounting and Pedro, someone from Business Administration.

— Won't you change…? And take your hand off my cheeks, Artie! I still can't believe you think girls are your sex toys and not people with feelings!

I'm impressed by the level of the conversation. Even though I was the youngest among them, a few months apart, I always acted like an older brother.

— Chatoooo… (You boriinnng...)- They both hum.

— At least I want to lose something so important to me together with someone I love deeply, knowing that she feels the same way about me, and when we look each other straight in the eye, I'll see a little bit of Heaven…

Okay, I've thought too much.

— HAHAHAHA! - That's great! — What heavy drugs are you on, bro?! I want some!

— None! It's just my opinion!

— He… He must… - Pedro was laughing too much. — He's been watching too much Romeo & Juliet.

— Oh, fuck off! See you later. And it's the 1968 version, yes! - I say goodbye to the two clowns with my wonderful middle finger.

I walk a bit and go to my building, which is a two-storey colonial-style building divided into two parts, with the office in the center and each part with several classrooms.

— Okay, building 6… On this side are rooms 104 to 109… - I say, pointing to my left. - So that must be 115.

I find the room and knock on the door.

As no one came, I opened it. I go in and see just one person. A bunch of hair, actually. She had her head on the table. She, because of her flowery dress and long hair. Between waking the poor thing up or not, I speak with embarrassment:

— Excuse me… Is this the… Languages classroom? - Nothing. I speak louder: — Miss, is this the Languages classroom?

— AHHH! WHERE?! WHAT? - She screams in fright. I tried not to laugh, because her hair was messy and covered her face. — Ouch… Are you looking for the Languages room? It's here.

She brushes her hair out of her face, but then reaches into her bag for something. When she lifts her head, I see what she looks like: pale skin, big dark eyes, hidden behind lilac glasses, and long dark brown hair, with light highlights and waves at the end of it. She was wearing a light pink blouse with flowers and matching pants. Finally, a pair of dark pink sandals.

She's beautiful… Stop it, Ross, you don't even know the girl!

You're right, head…

Then I realized that I was staring at the young woman, smiling shyly, and that I hadn't entered the room yet. I felt my cheeks burn. I hope she hasn't noticed.

— Hi, my name is Ross… What's yours? - I get her attention.

— Wow… - She says quietly and turns red. And I thought I was pretty red. — I mean, my name isn't “wow”, it's Amanda, haha…

— Can I sit next to you? - I ask and she, now Amanda, nods and smiles a little. — I'm sorry I've only asked you questions so far, but are you shy?

She laughs at my question and nods.

— I'm very shy. I don't know how I'm talking to you, really. I should have run.

— What if we talked a bit to get to know each other? And I'm sorry if I disturbed your sleep.

— That's fine. No need to apologize… I was just about to wake up. - We smiled a little. — I-I'm not very interesting, no. I'm eighteen, I'm from Belo Horizonte, I'm the youngest in the family, I study, I have pet birds, that's all…

— Well, I'm eighteen, I'm American, but I live here, I'm an only child, I also only study, I don't have any animals…

She widens her eyes.

— American without an accent? Wow. Oh, sorry…

— It's all right. Yeah, people are even fascinated when I say I'm American, they think I'm an alien. My whole family is from there, actually. My parents moved here when they were young, built a life here too, and on a trip there, I was born. But I was raised here and whenever I can, I go to Colorado to visit my grandparents, uncles, cousins, some childhood friends…

— Again: Wow. But… Sorry, what's your name again? Sorry, I'm still sleepy, haha.

— Ross. No problem. - I wink at her and smile.

— Ross, you speak Portuguese very well! It's great that your family is from there! You must have given them a hard time on the trip, haha…

I saw the girl I'd just met go from shy to excited and I felt good. She just needed a little push.

—Nah. They say to this day that I was a gift in the right place at the right time. I love my trips to Littleton. I always have a great time, even for a few days. The only thing that bothers me a bit is that some relatives turn up their noses when my father, mother or I talk about here…

I feel her touch my hand, comforting me, and I even look again to see if it's true.

— Don't mind them. Belo Horizonte is a great place. It's no wonder your parents chose to live here. - She smiles at me.

— Another thing that other people find strange is that I mix Portuguese and English on a daily basis. But I think it's cool. Of course, my parents taught me both languages. For example, I only speak English with my uncles, grandparents, etc. With my friends here, only Portuguese. Then, with my parents, either one hour we're in English and then in Portuguese, or half the sentence is in each language. It's like a SAP key.

— That’s so good, actually! It’s so hard to find someone who could speaks English to me. But someone who speaks both languages and that's foreigner, is way better!

— That’s really impressive, Amanda! I’d love to speak to you sometimes...ugh...in English...or in Portuguese too! I didn't mean I won’t talk to you in any way, it would be stupid…

WHAT AM I TALKING?! STOP TALKING, YOU IDIOT!

— Relax, blondie! It’s okay. - She holds my hand, seeing my nervousness and smiles. I don't think that's going to help very much. Even my ears have turned red.

— But even so, anyone I meet thinks I'm from Mars… I guess that's part of living in another country.

— I don't think you're strange, you're cute… I-I mean, it's good to speak both languages. In fact, if you were an alien, you'd be cute… F-Forget it!

I turn towards the door and see the teachers, but I can't help but smile and laugh a bit when I look at my side. I laughed because as well as being beautiful, my new acquaintance was cute too! After a while, more people arrived. There was an explanation of what the subject would be, I met more people from the class and continued talking to Amanda. We said goodbye after three classes and one thought stayed in my head:

I'm not going to give up on getting to know more about her any time soon.

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

i haven't been super invested in musicals for quite a while now so i'm wondering when my family will start caring and it won't be performative

[taexual]

i’d love you to stay but that’s simply insane // JJK (4)

     jungkook is an uncontrollable lead vocalist of the campus band, and you’re a goal-oriented top student that’s known his rich and complicated family since childhood. you don’t want anything to do with each other, until each other is exactly what you want to do.

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: college au

warnings: this is mostly jk showing off what a shy tease he is, but with some angst at the end

words: 4.8k

       chapter four

Somehow, Jungkook had managed to keep his wits about him and completed the week without a single party – and without a single drop of alcohol! – so, naturally, by the time it was Friday, everyone was talking. Most people assumed that there was something wrong with him but a surprisingly large percentage of the students on campus seemed to understand his reasons – causing a car crash while under the influence was bound to make a person reconsider some of their life choices.

When your last class of the week, Macroeconomics, wrapped up on Friday afternoon, you were surprised to find Jungkook lingering by the door of the building. You weren’t sure if you were at that point in your friendship where you could just approach him and simply ask what was up or if you two still weren’t close enough for that but Jungkook noticed you and relieved you from making that difficult decision.

“Hey!” he walked over to you as soon as he saw you. “Wasn’t your class supposed to end fifteen minutes ago?”

You looked down at the clock on your phone. “Uh, yeah. The professor is—well, I’ve concluded that she can’t tell time.”

“Clearly,” he said. “I stayed back, thinking we could head home together.”

“Oh,” you said and then looked down, automatically mapping out the campus until you came to a conclusion that you and Jungkook could definitely walk in the same direction without it being weird, so, really, there was no reason for you to get excited about this. And yet your heart disagreed as it cheerfully tossed itself across your chest. “Sorry I made you wait, then. But you could have given me a heads-up. My Fridays don’t start until—”

“See you tonight, bro!” a guy walking past interrupted you as he punched Jungkook on the shoulder so unexpectedly that he nearly toppled over. Jungkook didn’t mind, though, and when you lifted your eyes, you saw a friendly smile on his face.

“Definitely!” he replied to the guy before redirecting his attention to you. “Sorry about that. You were saying?”

“Nothing,” you dismissed that as you two slowly walked out of the building and made your way home. “So, what’s tonight?”

You didn’t mean to pry but, after not hearing about any Parental Advisory parties from Inna, you had suspected that the band was going to take it easy this weekend – perhaps even give the not-so-legendary Brock a chance to host a second party, since his first one only seemed to do moderately well after Jungkook didn’t show up – but, clearly, you’d been wrong to assume that.

“Ah, there’s a party at our place,” Jungkook said and he seemed very uncomfortable admitting this so he tried to find a way to justify it, “it’s tradition, you know? We’re not performing this weekend because we didn’t get to practice as much – my bad, I suppose – but the party’s still on.”

“I see,” you said, not realizing how judgmental that sounded to him.

“Yeah, and it’s not like I can just not go because I live there,” he continued to explain himself, “it’d be weird if I stayed in my room the entire time and, now that I think about it, I probably couldn’t stay in my room anyway. The music would be too loud for me to do anything, so I’d have to—”

“Jungkook,” you turned to look at him and he finally stopped the nervous chatter, “you don’t have to swear off parties altogether. That wouldn’t be you.”

“Yeah, no, I know,” he scratched his neck, “it’s just—I don’t know. I get that most of my friendships on campus are superficial. Really, I do. But it’s—I mean, these people aren’t that bad to hang out with. I just don’t want to make it seem like I’m back on my old bullshit, you know?”

You didn’t know because you weren’t sure what his “old bullshit” involved but you nodded because he looked like he needed reassurance right now.

“Sure,” you said, “but you’re in college. You can still go out and have fun with your friends… or whoever those people are to you. Just be responsible.”

“Right,” he swallowed and both of you turned quiet.

Realizing that he had a limited amount of time to talk to you before you’d reach your dormitory, Jungkook was the one who spoke up again a minute later.

“I talked to my parents last night,” he said. “I called them like you said. They acted like it was the first time I’d ever called them. I’m pretty sure mom thought I only called because I needed to get bailed out of jail.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “I didn’t realize you’d drifted off so much.”

He exhaled slowly. “Yeah, we did.”

“You’re working on it, though,” you said, noticing that your observation seemed to bring him down. Out of fear of having discouraged him, you added quickly, “that’s a good sign, isn’t it? You are actually trying to bring back what you once had.”

“Hmm, that might be a stretch. I don’t think we were ever a perfect family,” he scrunched up his nose as he said this and, for a moment, you were completely breathless because he looked so sweet and homely – it was an insane contrast to the wild, long-haired alternative singer that most of the people on campus knew him as.

“Yeah, well, uh,” you blinked, looking away from him and focusing on the pavement instead, “every family has its flaws. But not all of them are willing to work on them.”

“I feel like that’s a line from a Tolstoy book,” Jungkook said and you snorted. He noticed the disbelief on your face right away. “What? I only act like I’m empty-headed sometimes, but I do read.”

“No, it’s not that,” you said, shaking your head, “I just never pegged you for someone who’d read Tolstoy, of all things.”

“Why? Who did you peg me as?”

You gave him a side-glance, your eyes guarded by your eyelashes as you still wouldn’t meet his gaze – which was good because his heart had already stopped when you looked at him like that – and hummed thoughtfully.

“You always struck me as more of a Stephanie Meyer guy,” you said.

He gasped and pfftched for the next few steps before finding his voice, “Stephanie Meyer? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with her but what is it about me that screams I-enjoy-hot-vampire-drama?”

You shrugged. “You tell me. I remember seeing the book in your bedroom when we were in sixth grade.”

“I am not going to defend my twelve-year-old self,” he declared with mock-dignity and you couldn’t help but smile at the banter. “That must have been the year when the book was the most hyped. I got curious.”

“Hey, I’m not judging,” you said and then bit playfully, “different strokes for different folks, right?”

“I’d rather not have Edward Cullen stroke me, thank you very much.”

You laughed. “Fair enough.”

Jungkook smiled as he watched you but he didn’t get to enjoy the happy wrinkles by your eyes for too long because you two reached your dormitory and it was about to become awkward. Due to the fact that Jungkook lived a little further away, it was starting to feel like he’d just walked you home, which he technically did, but it wasn’t the typical Walking-Home that happened when two people were dating, and now you didn’t know how to act.

“Alright, well, thank you for waiting for me after class,” you said in an attempt to ease the awkwardness.

It didn’t really help because, all throughout the walk over here, Jungkook kept trying to find a way to ask you something and he was still having a hard time choosing his words.

“Yeah, uh, anytime,” he said and then, with a very dramatic stretch of his hands above his head – he wasn’t trying to show off his muscles or anything, he just needed to feel a little more in control of his body – he finally dared to say, “hey, so… do you think you’ll make it to the party tonight? I mean, I assume your roommate’s coming, so—”

“Oh, I don’t know if she is,” you admitted, completely oblivious about how long it took him to gather the courage to ask you to come. “Inna didn’t mention going.”

“She said she was thinking of going when I talked to her,” he said, recalling the time he’d cornered your roommate for your phone number.

“I guess your parties are more her thing,” you said, not wanting to turn him down but also not feeling up for another night with his drunk groupies, “they’re not really for me.”

“Alright, that’s cool,” Jungkook said, focusing all of his attention on a loose pebble on the pavement that he kicked softly with his foot. “I’ll see you on Monday then, yeah?”

He didn’t make it obvious but you could still hear the glints of disappointment in his voice and you’d have been fooling yourself if you said it didn’t make your heart beat faster – he wanted you to come! – which was still something that you weren’t used to.

When you were younger, Jungkook had never made you feel like you were going to die if he didn’t smile at you. Until, one day, that was precisely how he made you feel.

It happened in the final years of your friendship so you’ve had seven years to digest the butterflies and finish wallowing in self-pity. You thought you were fine now.

“Yeah,” you said struggling to swallow because, clearly, the only creatures that were fine, were the damn butterflies that had successfully reincarnated. “I’ll see you Monday.”

But the two of you stayed still for a few more minutes, both stealing quick glances at each other and then looking away when your eyes met. You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and enter the dormitory because in doing so, you’d begin two and a half days of not seeing Jungkook, and you didn’t feel ready for that yet.

Funny how you’d survived seven years without talking to him but one weekend suddenly seemed too long.

“I should go,” Jungkook said after a while because it was true, he really should have gone. But he didn’t want to leave. “They’re probably going to send me on a booze run.”

“Is that your punishment for last weekend?” you asked.

“Yeah. But also, maybe it’s not? They always order me around,” he explained. “I’m the youngest. Sometimes, I swear, I can’t wait until they graduate and then I won’t have to go on beer runs at six in the morning when they’re too drunk to move.”

You’ve heard about the dynamics of the relationship between the Parental Advisory members from Inna but it sounded different – somehow more real – when Jungkook was the one telling you about that. You felt yourself smile as he spoke of the other members.

“You don’t mean that,” you said. “You guys seem really close.”

“We live together,” Jungkook said with a nonchalant shrug but you could see how much their friendship meant to him in his eyes. “We’ve seen each other go through all kinds of shit. They’re… they’re cool guys. The only ones I’m actually genuinely close to. You’d like them.”

You didn’t doubt that for one second even though, just days prior, you thought his whole band was overrated.

It’s been a long week, that much was clear, and you’d learned that you were a lot more prejudiced than you’d have liked to admit.

“I’m sure they’re nice,” you didn’t disagree, “I hope they’ll take care of you tonight.”

That sounded far too familiar and just plain affectionate when said out loud, and you felt yourself flush as you looked for something else to say to control the damage. But Jungkook didn’t seem to mind your worry in the slightest – in fact, he knew he was going to replay your words in his mind all the way to his house – as he smiled and gave you a reassuring nod.

“I’ll be fine tonight,” he promised and the grateful glitter of his eyes let you know that there were going to be no life-threatening accidents tonight.

Inna did end up going to the party. She felt like she’d already come so far by attending last week, so she couldn’t just stop going now – which made no sense to you whatsoever, but maintaining the perfect attendance clearly meant a lot to her, so you gave her your blessing and patiently endured her nagging as she tried to get you to come with her.

“I can’t bring myself to go,” you said as you settled on your bed with your laptop. “I went through this whole week looking forward to Friday so I could have an American Horror Story marathon until I dreamt of latex-clad monsters. I just can’t postpone that any longer and especially not for something as ridiculous as—well, you know.”

She used to think you were kidding when you first started to live together, but after knowing you for three years, she realized just how much these seemingly little things meant to you: like catching a new superhero movie or re-watching your favorite TV shows. And it wasn’t that you hated social interactions or parties in general, not at all. You just needed them to come in smaller doses than most people.

“I get it,” she said. “But are you sure? I mean, Jungkook is going to be there.”

“I know,” you said and, boy, did you. Him being there was basically the only thing you kept thinking about ever since you got home. “You can tell him hi if you see him. He knows who you are.”

Inna scoffed. “Yeah. As if I can just approach a member of Parental Advisory and start a casual conversation.”

You gave her a look. “You can. It’s the mindset that these people are better than you that’s stopping you. It’s also what keeps them thriving.”

“I know,” she said, “but still. I’m arriving to the party alone this time, and I’m not really a member of their group yet. I need to know my place.”

“Inna—”

“Yeah, alright, I heard how that sounded,” she stopped you before you could lecture her again. “But you know what I mean.”

“Are you trying to get me to come with you out of pity?”

She smiled despite herself. “Well, it worked before.”

You shook your head, smiling at her sneaky attempt. “Get out of here. And have fun!”

“I will,” she promised, spraying some perfume on her wrists before she left. “I’ll keep you updated on what Jungkook is doing.”

“Please don’t stalk him on my behalf,” you cringed, which was, clearly, her intention as she laughed.

“Everything I do,” Inna sang in her best Bryan Adams voice as she exited the room dramatically, “I do it for you.”

You wished her good luck one more time before she closed the door of the dorm and hurried down the hall. 

You didn’t often get to have your dorm room all to yourself so, as soon as she left, you exhaled in content and sprawled across your bed, your laptop resting on your hips, the first season of American Horror Story starting on the screen.

You got through the first few episodes before you had to pause the show and go find yourself a snack. Never having too much actual food in the house, you and Inna always made sure to stock up on snacks, and you returned to the bedroom with a box of Oreo's and a pack of Maltesers. Very content with the current state of things in your life, you continued to watch the show while you unwrapped the box of cookies.

Sometime in the middle of Episode 4, you thought you heard your phone vibrate but, by that time, you were already dozing off and assumed that it had to be a figment of your imagination. Still, just to be sure, you patted the bed with your hand, searching for your phone, and then gave up a minute later when you couldn’t find it without getting up.

Another few moments later, the buzzing sound returned and this time, you were sure of it – someone was calling you. Groaning, you lifted your head off the head rest and cursed yourself when you saw your phone on the furthest corner of the bed. Pausing the show, you set your laptop aside and reached for the vibrating device with a painful strain of your muscles that were aching to sleep now.

They woke up almost immediately after you noticed the caller’s ID, however.

Clearing your throat with wide, surprised eyes, you picked up the call. “Hello?”

“Hi!” Jungkook’s voice was so high-pitched that you didn’t recognize it at first and were about to double-check if it was really him calling you when he continued, “I’ve tried calling you but you weren’t picking up.”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry, I—I didn’t hear,” you explained lamely. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s perfect!” he replied. He couldn’t have made his drunken state more obvious if he’d tried. “Wait, no. No, it’s not. You didn’t come.”

Every emotion he was trying to portray with his words was exaggerated as he spoke in a purposefully whiny tone. It tugged at your heart strings and you had to pull the phone away from your face so you could clear your throat again.

“No, I…” you said but the ball of excitement was still stuck tightly in your throat. “I told you I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah but I thought you’d change your mind,” he said and then loud shuffling followed, “oh—whoa—!”

You blinked. “W-what happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m—yes! I slipped,” he laughed breathily and you nearly suffocated from the sound, “I’m really drunk.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” you said, standing up from your bed in hopes that walking would help you calm your beating heart down. “What happened to being responsible?”

“I am being responsible,” Jungkook countered.

“Doesn’t sound like it,” you replied just humorously enough so he’d know you weren’t actually angry or disappointed in him.

But he wasn’t in the mood to over-analyze your words as he seemed to bring his phone closer to his lips to say quietly, “hmm, you should have come then, so you could keep an eye on me.”

The accidental – or purposeful, for all you knew – ASMR had you gripping the windowsill for support.

“I didn’t realize you needed a babysitter,” you tried to play it cool.

“I don’t. I just need you,” he said automatically and your whole body lit up like an artificial Christmas tree. Jungkook reacted first, however, as he tried to back up, “uh, here, I mean. At the party”

“I got it,” you lied. The only thing you got was that Jungkook was just as capable of putting you in a trance over the phone as he was in real life. “I, um… I don’t really do parties.”

He shuffled – probably switching the phone to his other ear – before asking, “what do you do?”

“I like to stay in,” you answered, pacing around your room. “Watch a movie, maybe.”

“Okay,” he said, no longer as bold. “Maybe next weekend we can do something you do together, then?”

It felt like you’d swallowed your own heart and it was now beating all over you until your whole body was buzzing. “Uh—”

Thankfully, an unexpected overjoyed screeching sounded in the background of the call, distracting you both and providing you with the perfect opportunity to get out of the grip his question had put you in.

“S-shouldn’t you go check that out?” you asked with a nervous chuckle. “Sounded important.”

“Yeah, I’m—I’ll go check it out,” he agreed hesitantly, concluding – drunkenly and, most likely, incorrectly – that he’d stepped over the line. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

Struggling to speak, you only hummed in approval, “mmhhm.”

“Okay.”

But just like before, outside of your dormitory, neither of you wanted the conversation to end. Despite you making it awkward by not answering his proposal – he shouldn’t have thrown it at you so unexpectedly – you did enjoy the fact that he’d called – when he had so many other people around him to talk to – and didn’t want to hang up just yet.

You two allowed the silence to settle on the line as neither of you seemed to find a way to break it. You kept thinking about his question, kept replaying it over and over in your mind, and the more you thought about it, the more frightened you became. You’d already given your all to him once before, but he decided he didn’t want you to do that anymore. He didn’t need you anymore.

You didn’t want to spend the few upcoming years exploring the boundaries of your friendship with him, only for him to decide -- once again -- that he didn’t really want to be with you anymore.

And yet, even though your heart was on the line here, you still refused to hang up the call.

“Jungkook?” you said quietly.

“Yeah?” he answered right away as if he was waiting for you to say something – and he was, really.

“Oh,” you exhaled. “I thought you went to check what happened.”

“No. I’m here,” he said and you heard him swallow. “It’s probably nothing interesting.”

There was no way it wasn’t interesting – you could still hear the sounds of excitement in the background of the call – but Jungkook found himself much more intrigued by the sound of your breathing as you tried to find what to say.

“Okay,” you said and then prepared yourself for another round of silence – only it didn’t come.

“So, uh, hey, tell me about these movies you like to watch,” Jungkook changed the topic in a slightly more upbeat voice and you chuckled in relief.

“You already know all about it,” you said. “I used to force you to watch them with me.”

“I wouldn’t call it forcing,” he disagreed. “It’s not like I did it against my will.”

“You sure made it seem so,” you reminded him.

“Well, you can’t expect me to go down without a fight,” he said. “If I remember correctly, you always wanted to watch horror movies. It’s not good for my dignity when you don’t flinch during the jump-scares and I’m the only one actually getting scared.”

He did remember correctly – so his mind did function semi-properly even when he was intoxicated – and you couldn’t stop smiling. You must have looked like a lunatic. You felt like a lunatic.

“Yeah, you were always a scaredy cat,” you teased.

“Bold of you to say so when you had me climb through your bedroom window to get rid of the spider that was blocking your door,” he said and you gasped, having had him swear that he’d never mention the incident again.

“I was ten!” you protested. “That’s also how many legs that monstrosity had.”

“Spiders have eight legs,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly and then mocked your previous teasing voice, “you were always one to exaggerate.”

You rolled your eyes but the grin did not fade from your lips.

“Thank you, though,” you said before you could change your mind. “I don’t remember saying that after you got rid of it.”

Jungkook was smiling, too. “No. I only remember you sprinting downstairs as soon as you could open the door.”

“That’s because you chased me around the room with the thing,” you pointed out, Jungkook’s teasing ‘come on, just look at it!’ still fresh in your memory. “Actually, that might be why I never said thank you.”

This got him to laugh. “Yeah, that’s probably why. In my defense, I was just trying to help you deal with your arachan—arach—ah, for fuck’s sake. With the fear of spiders.”

“Is it the alcohol getting to you?” you asked, giggling as he stumbled on the word.

“It must be,” he admitted, “but, really, I feel fine. Responsible drinking! Like I told you.”

“And you’re still having fun?”

Clutching his phone closer to his ear, Jungkook nodded to himself.

“Yeah,” he said slowly, “I definitely am.”

“So, in conclusion, blackout drinking is overrated,” you said knowingly.

“It’s—” he started but then stopped abruptly. You could hear his name being called in the background.

“You should go back,” you said then, feeling like, if you weren’t going to hang up, he wouldn’t either.

“Yeah, it’s starting to look like they won’t give me any other choice,” Jungkook said. “I’ll see you soon, though, okay?”

“Yeah,” you said as if that was obvious, “see you.”

“Give me a call if there’s a spider that needs my attention,” he bit one last time and then hung up as soon as you finished laughing – he couldn’t hang up before, it was simply impossible for him to pull away from the speaker of his phone when you were laughing.

You stared at your phone for at least a few minutes after the call ended, still beaming. There was a juxtaposition of feelings brewing inside of you: you were excited about receiving his call – even if it was a drunken one – while still holding yourself back from (re)developing any sort of connection with him out of fear of it all ending as abruptly as it had before.

But, as you put your phone down and returned to your previous spot on the bed – no longer tired enough to fall asleep – you figured that you were really more excited than you were afraid. Because, all things considered, you and Jungkook were no longer in the ninth grade. And maybe it’d prove to be difficult for you to fully open your heart again, but you couldn’t dismiss the possibility that, eventually, you could have Jungkook in your life again.

Three more episodes of American Horror Story later, you were positively dozing off. You did want to finish the first season – and you came so close – but your eyes were already closed for half of the last episode you’d watched, so you decided it’d be best to go to sleep. However, as soon as you turned the laptop off and got up to brush your teeth, you heard the door of the dorm open.

Poking your head into the hallway, you yawned just as Inna stumbled inside – and flinched, grasping at her chest, as soon as she saw you – dropping her keys onto the floor.

“Jesus, don’t stand there in the dark,” she hiccuped, leaning down to pick her keys up while you turned the light of the hallway on. She lost her balance on her way back up and had to lean against the wall to stand.

“Wow, you’re properly drunk,” you said, feeling another yawn coming but resisting it because it was starting to look as though you wouldn’t get to go to sleep just yet.

“Nooo,” she whined. “I didn’t drink that much. Just—just a little. A small little drink.”

You smiled at her description and took her keys from her. “Let me get those. You get yourself to bed.”

“Oh,” Inna sighed wistfully as she leaned against the wall of the hallway instead of doing what you’d told her. “You should have really come with me. It was fun.”

“Yeah, I bet it was,” you replied. “Come on, off to bed now—”

“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.

“Inna—”

“I have Yoongi’s phone number,” she giggled drunkenly.

“Alright, good for you. Now, let’s—”

“Can I tell you another secret?” she said again and her expression turned grave. “But, shhh, shhh, you can’t tell this one to my roommate.”

Confused how to proceed from there, you hesitated and then ended up choosing not to encourage her to keep going. You’d eavesdropped enough in the past week so the maximum number of secrets that you knew but weren’t supposed to know was reached.

“That’s okay,” you told her, gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders to help her return to the bedroom. “You can tell me tomorrow.”

“No, no, listen,” she disagreed, allowing you to guide her towards the bedroom – and then nearly falling face-down on the floor after she trusted you blindly and ended up stumbling over the threshold of the door because of it. “I saw Jungkook.”

She started to giggle like a madwoman then and you thought that was the whole secret but as soon as you helped her sit down, and squatted in front of her to remove her shoes, she kept going.

“I’m really sorry,” she said, her hand coming to rest on the top of your head as she brushed your hair affectionately.

“Sorry about seeing Jungkook?” you asked absentmindedly, too focused on the removal of her heels to pay attention.

“Yes,” she confirmed. “He was coming over here.”

You managed to pull one of her shoes off and dropped it in surprise.

“What?” you asked. “He was coming here?”

She nodded and you stood up, giving the room a once-over. If Inna was serious, and Jungkook was coming over here, there was no way you were going to let him into your room – it looked very much like a cozy pigsty at the moment.

“With a girl,” Inna added then, “she probably lives here.”

Blinking as you tried to digest this new bit of information that she had dramatically withheld for a whole minute, you felt your stomach sink with heavy disappointment.

“He’s, uh—he’s going over to some girl’s place?” you asked, returning to your previous job of removing Inna’s shoes.

“I think so,” she nodded and, judging by her voice, she was already falling asleep, but she still didn’t forget to mention, “but don’t tell my roommate. She’s just starting to be friends with him again.”

Your hurting heart would have disagreed with her – a friend wouldn’t have cared whom her friends were sleeping with – but you kept your eyes on the floor as you took her heels off and picked them up to carry them into the hallway.

“Don’t worry,” you said. “I won’t tell.”

keep reading | masterlist

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//catching cooties. sugawara koushi//

Warnings: Mild swearing.  Time-skip!Sugawara, so small spoiler warning

Word Count: 1.75K

Notes: I have so many requests to fill, but also Koushi hit me hard in the face with a book and said, “Love me.”  Who was I to refuse?  Koushi with kids?  Y E S 

Wallet.  Phone.  Keys.  Bag.  Coffee.  

It was a routine at this point.  Sugawara never left the house in the morning without those five things and it had been that way for almost four years.  He would tuck his wallet in his back pocket of his pants and his phone in the front.  The lanyard with all of his keys hung around his neck so he could back his bag for the day, sliding in folders of graded work, his book of lesson plans, his planner, anything he might have brought home to finish working on.  He would place a kiss on your cheek, your nose, then your lips before taking his thermos from you, a tired “I love you” taking the place of words of thanks.  

This shouldn’t have thrown him off as much as it did.  You had the day off and decided to sleep in rather than wake up with his alarm like you usually would, but after so long of getting ready in the bathroom together, laughing over toaster-waffles, and gentle good-bye kisses, not having you awake to start his morning really messed up his routine.  You weren’t peppering his face with kisses, trying to get him awake and when he would have inevitably rolled over, begging, “Five more minutes, please,” you didn’t lay on top of him and poke his cheeks until his eyes finally blinked open, that low groan leaving his lips as the morning sun filtered in through the blinds.  

The loud ringing of his alarm at 5:30 had you shoving your head under a pillow while your husband desperately reached around for the snooze button.  But, it seemed like hours had passed since then and yet, you and Koushi were still snuggled together under the warmth of the comforter.  Your eyelids lifted heavily, reaching for your phone on the nightstand.

Those small numbers on the screen had you sitting up straight in a matter of milliseconds, a hand on your husband's shoulder, desperately shaking him awake.  “Koushi, you need to get up.”

But, instead of heeding your words, he wrapped his arms securely around your waist, trying to nuzzle his face into your body.  Sugawara Koushi was lost to the world, sleeping like an absolute log, not like that was anything new to you. 

“Baby, it’s quarter after 7,” you say firmly, prying his hands off of you.  On a normal morning, he’d be getting ready to leave.  He’d be standing at the kitchen island, humming to himself while he packed his bag, but instead, here he was, still fast asleep.

But, oh, did the sound of that seven have his eyes opening at an alarming rate.  Sugawara reached for his phone, praying that maybe you were lying to him, that maybe this was just some kind of prank to get him up, but that ‘7:17’ was too real to ignore.  He threw the covers off, a frustrated “Shit!” being the only good morning exchanged.  You can’t remember the last time that you had seen him move so fast.  In less than five minutes, he was buttoning his shirt, jumping around the bedroom as if that would get his pants on any faster, a black belt being threaded through the loops and the light jingle of the buckle adding to the frantic atmosphere of the morning.  

Koushi fumbled around, opening and closing drawers, a pair of socks in his hand, but the stress never left his eyes.  “Where the hell did I put it?  Not in the bathroom.  Not on the nightstand,” he mutters under his breath, eyes scanning every possible surface in the room.  

“What are you looking for, Kou?”

“Have you seen my watch?”

“I think you put it on the coffee table last night.  I’ll go see,” you say, starting to get out of bed, but a pair of hands is pushing you back down to the mattress.

“No, you don’t have to work today.  You should relax, sweetheart.  Don’t worry about me.”  Even amidst all his panic, Sugawara Koushi still continued to be the loving man that had your heart fluttering all of those years ago.  The gentle tone to his voice and the soft kiss that he planted on your forehead was all it took to get you to lay back down, adhering to his wishes. 

It was nearly 7:45 before you heard the familiar checklist leaving your husband’s lips.  “Wallet.  Phone.  Keys.  Bag.  Coffee.”  He did the signature pat of each item, nodding as everything he needed was accounted for.  “Are we still getting lunch?” He asks, a hopeful smile on his face as he looks at you in the mirror, checking his appearance one final time.

“The noodle place on Sixth, right?”

“They have the best udon.  You’re going to love it!  I can meet you at noon, okay?”  Sugawara leans down to place his routine kisses to your face, each small peck leaving your head feeling fuzzy from his tender touches.

The sound of the door closing behind him should’ve been the end to the chaos.  You should have been able to rest your eyes for a few more hours and then go about enjoying your lazy day.  But, alas, it seemed like you had only just closed your eyes and your phone was already playing that familiar tone to signal Koushi’s incoming call.  “What’s up, Kou?” 

He must’ve heard the exhaustion laced in those few syllables, because you could almost see the sadness in his eyes from the sorrowful tone.  “I woke you up, didn’t I?  I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“You’re okay, baby.  What’s going on?  Is something wrong?”

“Well, kind of?  Hikari, give Ryouta the cap to his marker back, please,” he states, the sharp contrast in the voice that he used with you and his ‘teacher's voice’ coming through as he switched from addressing you to his students.  “Sorry about that.  Anyway, in all of the commotion this morning, I think I forgot my grade book.  Which wouldn’t be a big deal most days, but the end of the quarter is coming up and I’m already behind and-”

“I’ll be there soon, Koushi.”

He breathes a sigh of relief.  “What would I do without you,” he says, the traces of his smile filtering into your ear.

“Not get your grade book, that’s for sure,” you laugh, swinging your legs off the edge of the bed.  “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

“Okay.  Thank you, sweetheart.  It should be in the kitchen.  If not, check the dining room.  I would love to chat with you more, but I’m pretty sure the principal just walked by my door and saw me on my phone . . . So, I’m going to let you go, but I love you!”

“I love you too, Koushi.  I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.”

“Okay, thank you again, seriously,” he says quietly, waiting for you to hum your response before he ends the call, sliding his phone back into his desk drawer.  

Sugawara’s fingers laced through his hair as he leaned back in his chair.  He couldn’t remember the last time that he had had a day that was this out of sorts.  It seemed like everything that could go wrong, did.  As if almost being late wasn’t enough, he had spilled his coffee on his way to work, a brown stain would be exposed on the cuff of his white shirt if he hadn’t rolled the sleeves up to his elbows.  He had misplaced his lesson plans with all of his worksheets, a good explanation as to why his students had spent most of the morning doing arts and crafts rather than practicing sight words and their basic math skills.  But, nonetheless, Mr. Sunshine himself never let his smile fade, keeping his energy up to give his students the best day possible.  

The way his smile relaxed in relief at the sound of a knock on his classroom door was indescribable.  It was like a wave of comfort had washed over him knowing that you were right there just a few feet away.   There was a curious hush that fell over his students as they all turned their heads towards the door, markers and coloring pages now forgotten at the exciting prospect of a visitor.  Had Mr. Sugawara planned a surprise party for them?  Was one of them being called to the office to be picked up?  But, you can imagine their shocked faces when the door was swung open to reveal some random person that they had never seen before.  

Koushi, nonetheless, enveloped you in a tight hug, whispering gentle words of thanks against your skin over and over again as he took his grade book from your hands.  The feeling of your body melding perfectly against his, just as it always had, had him melting against you, desperate for the comforting feeling of your hands tangling in his hair or running up and down his arms, but he was at work.  He couldn’t relish in the sensation of your touch no matter how much he wanted to.

“Mr. Suga, sir?” One of his students piped up causing their teacher to pull away, that normal wide smile on his face.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Do you hug everyone who comes to your door?”

Sugawara laughed lightly as he shook his head.  He reached down to take your hand, his thumb tracing along the back of your knuckles.  The light tap of his fingers against the back of your hand in a silent, “I love you” made a small smile rise to your lips.  “I don’t usually hug people when I answer the door, but this is my wife, so I thought I would make an exception.”

Another student raised their hand, speaking only when Sugawara called their name.  “What’s a wife?”

“Well, it’s what people call the girl that you marry.”

“What if you marry a boy?”

“Then they’re called a ‘husband.’   So, Y/N is my wife and I’m her husband.  Does that make sense?”

“But, don’t girls have cooties?”  A little boy called out, scrunching up his features in disgust at the thought of getting anywhere near a girl.  

Koushi grings gently in your direction, bumping his shoulder playfully against yours.  “Some girls are just worth catching cooties for.”

[omgbigfluffwriting]

You Don’t Own Me  Chapter 1

(A/N: In our second server swap I got @aperrywilliams as my giftee. Amanda inadvertently gave me the idea for this fic a few days before I wrote it because the main kink is cockwarming. Minors, please wait until you are of legal age to read. I really do not want to have parents messaging me.)

"Let's wait until our wedding night to have sex." Spencer's suggestion seven months ago took me way back. Well, now we had a week until our wedding and I regretted promising Spencer. I watched him as he corrected Criminal Psychology papers. 

I grabbed a lollipop, stuck it into my mouth and sat on Spencer's lap. "Y/N...Our wedding is just around the corner."

"Uh-huh." I said, beginning to kiss him.

“I love you, but I need you to go away because you’re really very distracting and I have to have these papers graded by tomorrow.” Spencer whined.

"Aww...Spence, no fair!" I said still kissing him.

"Y/N..." he said in irritation.

“You mean I’m only important when you need something from me.” I grumbled as I gently stroked his growing bulge with the tips of my fingers.

"Didn't mean that at all." He groaned. "I want us to wait, so behave."

"Make me." I said smugly.

“Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it’s working.” Spencer moaned. I grinned at him. I stopped for a while. Then when he was halfway through his third pile, I started fidgeting. “Stop moving on my lap, it’s not making the situation any better.” Spencer snapped.

“I disagree.” I said.

“I really don’t care. You look so hot and it's taking all I have to try not to fuck you senseless right now.” I pouted and got off his lap.

"I guess I'll just get off all by myself." I murmured, heading to the bedroom.  Spencer grabbed my hand.

"Actually, just a second..." Spencer took off his belt and unzipped his slacks. "Come and sit." I sat on his thigh. He chuckled and said, "No, no. I want you to straddle me." 

I did as requested and moaned as his hardness entered me. "Spence..."

"Stay still, Y/N." He ordered. It didn't take long for him to finish grading, thankfully. He kept alternating between kisses and nips as he graded papers. Finally, he set the pen he was using down as I started trying to create some friction. His hips bucked forward. “Don’t think I’m letting you get away with that, darling.”

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” I whined.

"You could have waited one more week." He said sternly. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Oh shut up. Why don't you try being me and constantly try not to notice whenever your fiance’s swollen crotch is at eye level?" He blushed scarlet.

"Okay, you have a point." He said, his hips bucking forward again. "I can't help imagining you pregnant.” My eyes widened in shock.

“You know, you always look so much better when I mark you up.” I said as I leaned into him to drive him a bit deeper, which made him hit against my pleasure spot.

“No, thank you. I'm not getting teased by Luke again.” Spencer replied softly. “Oh, god, I’m coming! I’m there! Yes, oh, fuck, I’m -!” 

“Don’t hold back, Spence.” I murmured. “Come for me.” Just as I said this, I felt him climax inside of me.

“Y/N...” he moaned.

“Spence...” I kissed his cheek. A few minutes later, I felt Spencer get up so I wrapped my legs around his backside.

“You’re getting so hard again.” I moaned, feeling him become erect inside me.

“Only for you, sweetheart.” Spencer said chuckling as he carried me to what would be our bedroom after the wedding. “And we have all night.”

----

“How many rounds was that? Four? Jeez, we’re about to break our own record.” I muttered as Spencer slid out of me.

“Actually, I believe that was our fifth time.” he says breathlessly before suckling my breast. “Soon to be sixth.” I groaned. Maybe we should take a break.

“Maybe we should take a break?” I suggested. Spencer didn't stop. In fact, I think he ignored me.

“Fine but in 2 hours, I want to see your pretty little lips wrapped around my penis.” he finally said before closing his eyes. I smirked. He’d have his wish in 1.

---

1 hour later:

I slid down and because I'm a bit of a brat, I decided to wake Spencer up with what he wanted. Thankfully, Spencer doesn't wear clothing whenever I come over, so his length was quite easily accessible. 

I took him into my mouth. I gave his manhood a few small licks which I knew drove him crazy, then gradually got bolder as I massaged his balls tenderly, coaxing his hardness to become fully erect. His thighs tensed.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” I joked. He sighed and rubbed his temples.

“Don’t think I’m letting you get away with that either, darling.” he muttered. I snorted. Spencer would let me get away with anything short of murder, theft... basically anything that wasn't breaking the law. 

“I already have.” I taunted. I felt a chuckle from him.

 “Lay back and let me take care of you.” I acquiesced, switching positions with the love of my life. He kissed my nose then smirked. “Mm, where should I start?!”

“My breasts.” I suggested. He shook his head.

“I always start with your breasts.” he muttered. Then his eyes lit up and he scooted down.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Returning the favor.” he replied before he licked me. I moaned. He was good. I came undone seconds after. He looked expectantly at me and added, “Told you I wouldn't let you get away with that.”

“Unbelievable…” I muttered. “Just get…”

“Actually, don't order me around.” He murmured as he sank into my depths and kissed me. I could taste myself on him. He stroked my side idly, letting me adjust to his fullness before finding his rhythm.

“You should not have made me promise.” I remarked.

“I shouldn't have.” He agreed before I felt him climax. “How can I make it up to you?” I pretended to think about it. He'd come up with something though.

“Up to you, babe.” I said.

---

I was surprised when Spencer told me that we were going somewhere else after work. It wasn't Rossi's as Krystall and Rossi wanted a quiet evening or so Rossi said when I asked. All I knew is that Spencer muttered under his breath, “JJ and Garcia are going to kill me.”

Spencer was driving now, as I had a blindfold on. “Where are we going?” I asked for what seemed like the millionth time. Spencer didn't answer and I was getting irritated with him.

“We’re almost there.” Spencer said. I set my hand on his thigh. “Stop it, Y/N.” he admonished as I stroked his inner thigh.

“Why should I? You won't tell me where we're going and I'm bored.” I complained. My hand brushed against his growing bulge in his slacks and I gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I would really appreciate it if we saved that for later.” Spencer said. I pouted and withdrew my hand. “Since I don't want to be standing with an erection in front of a justice of the peace.”

“We’re getting married tonight?”

“I’ve already proven I can't keep my hands off you for the remainder of the time we have left, so yes.”

“So that's why JJ and Garcia might possibly kill you.” I mused as he pulled in the driveway to see Aaron Hotchner, Luke Alvez, Derek Morgan and JJ glaring at him.

“How did…” Spencer started.

“You left your plans on your desk.” Luke stated. “Emily called Hotch and Rossi called Derek.”

“Do you seriously think Morgan, Hotch and I would miss your wedding?” JJ asked. “We’ve been waiting for this wedding for years.”

Spencer sighed. “Actually, I didn't think.”

“Oh that's quite obvious, Einstein.” Rossi said dryly as he came out of the office. “Come on, my mansion.”

“Why?” Spencer asked.

“You, assclown, owe both Gideon and I a wedding and since Gideon is dead, I'm insisting as is my right as your immediate supervisor if we don't count Emily.” I barely had time to stifle my laugh at Rossi's declaration. 

“Fine.” Spencer said as he put on his seatbelt again.

---

Spencer was slow dancing with me. He’d been quiet throughout the ceremony, only speaking his vows. “I love you.” Spencer murmured as he rubbed his thumb against my hand.

“I love you too.” I whispered.

“Getting married tonight was supposed to be my making that up to you.” he whined adorably.

“Don’t worry, you're forgiven.” I said, grinning. “Let’s get out of here, Einstein.”

“Agreed.” Spencer murmured. Rossi comes up to us.

“Go. You two have been here long enough.” he encouraged. Spencer takes my hand and after telling Rossi good night, we get into the car and ride off into the sunset.

@cupcake525

@andiebeaword​

@foyetsnewhitlist

[jamielea81]

Conversations

Chapter 7

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing, drinking, fluff!

Word Count: 8,000

A/N: I know nothing about the lives of the Evans family and mean no harm. This is purely fiction and for fun. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! The tag list is now closed. Each chapter tends to get reblogged from me a few times, so if you’re following me, you can’t miss it.

*Italics are internal thoughts

Catch up with chapter 6

“I swear I’ve never seen it,” you said.

“How can that possibly be true? That makes zero sense. You did go to elementary school, right? I’m pretty sure I watched that a few times when we had a substitute in fifth and sixth grade,” Chris exclaimed.

“Har-har. Yes, I went to elementary school, but you are a few years older than me Mr. Evans. Must not have been as popular by the time I was in fifth or sixth grade.”

“Whatever,” he scoffed. “M’not that much older than you. You were born in the eighties and the Princess Bride is an essential piece of classic cinema.”

“The numbers still count,” you chided.

“We’re watching it. And you’re going to like it,” Chris sternly said.

“Well you better visit. Otherwise you won’t be able to enforce that...what are we calling this? A punishment?” you offered.

The two of you had been back on your daily phone calls for the last few weeks. It felt as though you had never stopped. A part of you did worry that he would revert back to the acquaintance like relationship the two of you had the last four months if he started dating someone again. The two of you really need to have that conversation to completely clear the air. You and Chris talked about everything, just not about Courtney and Ethan. It was as though the last four months didn’t exist. You hated the idea of bringing in any negative energy to your friendship, but avoiding it felt worse.

“Punishment? Sweetheart, you’re hurting my heart,” he sighed. “And I’m working on that. Almost done filming.”

You perked up instantly. Chris visiting sounded like a dream. In a friendship way, of course. Maybe both Evans brothers liked dance parties. You’d just have to wait and see.

“Ahuh. I’ll believe it when I see it,” you replied.

“I don’t see you coming to Boston,” he retorted.

“It’s not Fall, babe. I have specific instructions on when to visit this national treasure.”

“We’ll see.”

 Screaming. That’s all you could hear and make yourself do. Sea World Orlando was hosting a media day to preview their new coaster Barracuda. This was not a fun family coaster like the Disney parks had, minus Everest of course. But this coaster was on a completely different playing field than Everest. It had a chest harness for goodness sake. A chest harness!

This is how I die.

You rarely covered actual ride openings, with the exception of Rise of the Resistance back in December. Okay, really you covered all ride openings at Disney. But in general, when it came to all other theme parks it was new lands, restaurants, hotels, that kind of thing. You especially didn’t cover coasters. This sort of thing was often saved for the local morning news channels. Sea World invited you out personally, and since you didn’t want to stop getting invites to their various food and music festivals, you accepted.

The ride started by being catapulted forward, then into a barrel roll, a loop, and to make master worse, the coaster rotated and it ended in a drop going backward.

You were given a card that allowed you two purchase five food and beverage offerings, but after riding Barracuda, you were feeling a bit green. Using one of your punches for a bottle of water, you quickly found some shade and sat down. You may have dry heaved. Thank goodness the spot you found was a little secluded.

Grabbing another chair, you put your feet up and tried to relax as best you could in a theme park nearing the end of May. Many schools were already on summer break, so the parks were definitely picking up on visitors. Fishing your phone out of your crossbody, you saw that you had a text from Brooks. He had officially left the Sentinel three months ago, but made it a game to text you random work-related questions almost daily.

Brooks: Can you run down to the first floor and grab that package their holding for me? I’m swamped.

Y/N: I’m on assignment smartass. How’s working from home?

Brooks: Glorious. I showered this morning and put my sweats back on.

Y/N: I’m sure that gets Jana’s engine roaring.

Brooks: I don’t believe you’ve seen me in sweats. I look damn fine.

Y/N: Gross

Brooks: 😈

Brooks: Lunch on Wednesday?

Y/N: Yes, but wear actual pants

Brooks: Maybe

 During your lunch date with Brooks, which you somehow got suckered into buying, Brooks told you that he and Scott were kind of friends and had been texting since he left Orlando almost a month ago. The two of them had exchanged numbers when you and Jana were in the bathroom. Per Brooks, one of their favorite things to talk about was you. Of course. You’d have to think of some way to get them back.

 It was suddenly Monday again, funny how that happens, and you were busy editing your latest article when your phone buzzed with a call on your desk. Seeing Chris’ name, you swiped to answer it.

“Hey babe.”

“Hi sweetheart. How was your weekend? Sorry I didn’t call,” he replied.

“I’m good. And no biggie. I had other boys to entertain me,” you said.

There were no boys. But he didn’t have to know that. You had to give it to him when you could.

“Boys, huh? Well, it’s a good thing you got a man right here.”

I walked right into that one.

If you could audibly swoon, you would have done it.

You let out a nervous chuckle. “Hmm. Okay.”

“Listen, last minute trip this weekend. My mom is taking my niece and nephews to Disney World. Could you meet up with me?”

“Um…”

“I wasn’t even going to go, but I figured my ma could use the help and thought maybe we could hangout. If you wanted to, I mean,” he quickly added.

Of course, you wanted to see Chris. You’d be crazy not to. All this time talking on the phone, even when you weren’t talking, all you thought about was seeing him face to face. But goodness, do you feel queasy all of a sudden.

“Like, Friday or Saturday?” you asked.

“We get in Friday morning and leave Monday morning,” he said.

“Wouldn’t I just get in the way of your family time? I don’t want to intrude.”

“No way. I want to see you. Besides, I need a ride buddy. We have an uneven number,” Chris said.

You could just see him beaming, perfect grin and all.

“I could meet you Saturday, I need to be in the office on Friday for a meeting.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment and you worried he had a change of heart.

“Ye-yeah, that works. I was hoping to see you sooner, but I’ll take what I can get,” he said.

“Geez, Evans. Really turning up the flirting, huh?”

Oh, shit. Did I really just say that?

Chris was flirty. Even Scott said he was. The two of you were nothing more than friends. Sometimes even great friends.              

It was his turn to let out a nervous chuckle. “Maybe,” he replied simply enough.

“Where am I meeting you?” you asked.

“Let me check with my ma, and I’ll text you the details when it gets closer to Saturday.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you replied.

“Now, tell me about these boys that were entertaining you,” he teased.

“You wouldn’t know them,” you teased right back.

 As the days inched closer to Saturday, you became more and more nervous. Like, palms sweating nervous. To your dismay, Scott was not joining his family on this trip, so you wouldn’t have him as your go to in case you spazzed out or said something stupid. Was this just friends meeting up or was this possibly something more? That’s what you couldn’t reason through. You didn’t dare ask Scott. That family shared way too much with each other for you to say anything about Chris. It would no doubt get back to him making Saturday more awkward than it was already was. Your logical side said this was just you hanging out with your buddy Chris. That’s all this was. Chris split his time between L.A. and Boston. You were all the way in Orlando. While you had vacation funds, you didn’t have funds to fly out once or twice a month to meet up with someone. This couldn’t possibly be anything more. But the romantic side of you fantasized about this being something more. Even for just a day.

 Chris sent you a text Friday morning when you were still in bed. It was seven in the morning and he apparently was wide awake.  

Chris: It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend

Holy geez.

You should have silenced your phone before going to bed. That wasn’t worth waking up to, even if it was from Chris.

Y/N: How do you even know that song?

Chris: Everyone knows that song.

Chris: I’m at the airport getting ready to board.

Y/N: Have a safe flight. I’m going back to bed.

Chris: Sassy…be more excited!

Y/N: Goodnight. Love you.

“What the fuck did I just type?!” you shouted, sitting straight up in your bed.

Even though you were tired, you never imagined being stupid enough to type that. Sure, you said that Jana, Brooks, even Scott, but that felt different. This was completely different. It came out so easily and you and Chris just never said that to each other. You couldn’t think of a way to back track that sentence. Seconds ticked by and you still had no clue.

The phone dinging with a new message catching your attention.

Chris: LOL love you too

LOL? How do I take that? At least he didn’t freak out about your response.

Well, now you couldn’t fall back to sleep. Instead you laid in bed contemplating the simple text you received. It was going to be a long day.

 Chris had sent you a few texts throughout the day. He and his family were at Magic Kingdom and were apparently hitting every ride. It sounded both fun and exhausting. He sent you a reminder text just as you were getting out of work to meet at Epcot at ten tomorrow. Epcot was your favorite park, but mainly for the drinking in various “countries” aspect. You imagined it would be quite a different day with kids in tow. Besides, you weren’t planning on drinking a drop of alcohol while out with the Evans clan. You didn’t want his mom to think you were a partier because you totally weren’t. Having a glass of wine after a tough day or out with friends once a month didn’t mean you drank a lot by any means.

You gave Scott a call when you got home. It was much earlier than your normal call time, but your nerves were shot and he was usually pretty good about grounding you.

“What’s wrong? he asked.

“What makes you think anything’s wrong?” you replied, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“Being that you’re calling me five hours earlier than you usually do, I’m pretty sure something’s up.”

You let out a breath. Damn him being so preceptive.

“I’m meeting up with your brother tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know. We’ve already talked about that.” Scott said.

“It’s just…I’m just so nervous about it. I really wish you were going to be here,” you whined.

“It’s Chris! You guys are friends. What are you even nervous about Sassy? You and I hung out all weekend alone. I didn’t pick up on any nervous energy from you then,” he said.

“You’re right. It’s dumb. Never mind.”

“The two of you are dumb. Now, tell me what’s really going on,” he demanded.

“Ugh, you’re so annoying,” you groaned.

“You’re so annoying,” he mimicked.

“Chris and I were barely friends for what, like almost four months? Yeah, we texted, but weren’t close, barely spoke on the phone. And now we’re close again and it’s great, because if I’m being honest, I really missed him. But I’m just worried that seeing him will change things. I know that sounds stupid, but what if he meets me and decides I’m boring. Or I’m nothing special and he’s wasted all this time getting to know me. You and I never had a break, so it didn’t feel awkward to spend time with you. Plus, your mom, niece and nephews will be there. It’s just added pressure,” you spit out all at once.

“You done now?” Scott asked.

“Jerk,” you replied.

“Finally,” he said, choosing to ignore you. “First off, you are not boring. If he isn’t bored already, he’s not going to be. I didn’t tell you this because your head is big enough, but you are pretty terrific. I promise I’m not coming on to you, but you need to know I had a such a great time with you. I was there to cheer you up, instead, you gave me a fabulous weekend. We were already close, but that weekend brought us closer. And don’t even worry about my family, my mom is going to love you. This weekend is only going to cement you and Chris’ friendship. Trust me.”

Scott is amazing and you are damn lucky to have him. Not only were you feeling better, you were kind of bummed you didn’t try to hang out with Chris tonight. It was fine though. Work was a little stressful and your hair was doing that weird thing it sometimes does. That’s not a first, no, second impression you wanted to make.

 After parking your car in the parking lot at Epcot, you took a few moments to calm your breathing. Fixing a couple smudges from your mascara in the rearview mirror, you took one final deep breath before getting out of the car.

It was nine forty five in the morning and it was already eighty degrees out. Temps were set to rise to close to ninety. Why the Evans clan didn’t take trips in the winter was beyond you. The crowds were generally lighter in early January and the weather was a lot more comfortable, but who were you to judge? You lived here year-round. Jana suggested wearing a cute sundress, but knowing it was going to be hot and you’d be running around with a few kids, dressing up didn’t seem sensible. You opted for jean shorts, a light gray tee with Mickey on the front, and a pair of slip on sneakers. The outfit was cute, but it didn’t make it seem like you were trying too hard.

Y/N: I’m here!

You made your way through bag check, skipping the line by stuffing your keys, license, and credit card in your front pockets.

Making your way to Spaceship Earth, you stopped in your tracks when your phone buzzed in your hand.

Chris: Just grabbing a couple of those spray mister fans for the kids. They’re already hot.

Chris: Where are you?

Y/N: In front of Spaceship Earth.

Minutes ticked by without a response from Chris. With one hand holding your phone, the other anxiously kept touching your hair. The humidity was already in high gear so you kept touching it, making sure it wasn’t being temperamental.

Clicking on the camera app, you switched the camera to selfie mode and used it like a mirror to check your hair and overall appearance. And then you saw him. He was attempting to sneak up behind you but failing as you could see him just slightly in frame of your camera. You didn’t mean to, but you had memorized that smile. You snapped a quick picture before turning around and startling him.

“Boo!” you shouted.

“Jesus! How’d you know I was here?”

You turned your phone to face him, showing him the selfie you captured with him in the background.

“Our first picture together,” you teased.

He grabs your phone out of your hand, throwing an arm around your shoulder. He snaps a picture, his megawatt smile on full display. In the one you captured, he was unprepared, and this one was no different, you were unprepared. So now you have two selfies on your phone with neither turning out just right.

You pull away slightly, grabbing your phone back.

“Can you warn a girl? I’d like to be prepared to take a picture. You know, maybe slap a smile on my face,” you scolded, smile peeking out even though you were trying to come across as serious.

He shakes his head at you.

“It’s nice to see you too, Sassy.”

You offer him a smile and take a step forward to hug him. The two of you don’t quite have the coordination down. Arms and shoulders bumping each other while you switch the position of your hands and finally get it right. He pulls you in tight, the brim of his ballcap hitting your forehead. The two of you chuckle at the exchange before pulling away.

He’s dressed casual in black basketball shorts, navy blue tee, sneakers, black ballcap low on his face. Even dressed so casually, he’s very easy on the eyes. Your tummy does a summersault as he takes you in.

Chris almost reaches for your hand, but then remembers that your surrounded by hundreds of onlookers who may have not noticed who he is yet, but could at any moment.

“Shall we?” he asks.

You nod your head and follow beside him, the two of you weaving in and out of the morning crowd. He stops next to a cart selling bottle water and misting fans. A woman you assume is his mother is next to three kids, all playing with their own misting fans.

“Ma,” he said, causing the woman to look up. “This is my friend Y/N. Y/N, this is my mother Lisa.”

You extend your hand for her to shake. She reaches out and does the same, offering you a smile, but it seems hesitant.

“Nice to meet you,” you offered.

“You as well,” Lisa replied.

“And these munchkins are Stella, Ethan, and Miles.” Chris said, pointing to each as he said their names. “This is my friend Y/N.”

“Hi guys!” you greet, waving at them with your hand.

The three of them all offer you a wave back.

“Should we go finding something fun to do?” Chris asked, mainly to the kids but he does glance at you and his mother.

A chorus of yeahs are said along with a fist bump or two. Chris grabs Stella and Miles’ hands and starts to walk, Ethan and Lisa walk along side of them while you trail a couple of steps behind.

The six of you make your way to Test Track where a cast member is waiting for your party. He introduces himself as Michael before leading your party through a side door you had never paid attention to before. There’s a whole design your own virtual car experience that you end up skipping since you are skipping the ride queue. Michael leads you to the side of the platform that the ride exits from. You wait one cycle before you’re allowed to load into the car. There are three seats in the front and three in the back. Chris gets into the front sliding all the way over, Stella gets into the middle seat and you next to Stella. Lisa, Miles, and Ethan slide into the backseat. Once everyone’s seatbelt is in place, the car advances forward.

As the car goes through twists, turns, and sudden stops, Stella giggles next to you while you hear Lisa say “oh no!” a few times from the back. You look at Chris who is grinning like a fool. He throws his hands in the air when the car flies through doors that open last second, leading you to a track that runs the outside perimeter of the building. The car reaches a peak speed of sixty-five miles per hour which isn’t necessarily fast on the open road, but in a convertible without a wheel or brakes, it’s pretty intense and fun. Your hair of course is shot. The wind having taken it in all sorts of directions.

The next attraction you hit is Mission: Space. Lisa opts to sit this one out with Stella, leaving you, Chris, Miles, and Ethan to ride the orange side. The orange side spins an extraordinary amount as it makes its way to Mars, while the green side is a lot tamer. The boys all wanted the orange side, so who are you to complain.

As the four of you file out the exit with Michael leading you, Miles complains that his tummy hurts. Chris picks him up and carries him the rest of the way to meet Lisa and Stella.

“I think we need to take a break. Miles isn’t feeling too well,” Chris said.

Lisa places, her hand on Miles’ head. “Are you not feeling well, sweetheart?” she asked.

He shakes his head no.

“There’s a shady spot with some tables over there,” you said, pointing to your left.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Chris said.

“I’ll grab some waters and meet you all over there,” Michael said before dashing off.

Chris pushes a couple of the small tables together while you grab an extra chair. Michael is back before you know it, carrying a bag filled with water bottles. He takes them out of the bag one by one setting them between the two tables.

“Chris, why don’t you and your friend go on without us,” Lisa offers.

“No, Ma. I’m sure it was just the spinning. He’ll be fine in a few. Besides, I don’t think he’s letting me go anytime soon.”

Miles clings to Chris as he sits on his lap. It’s the sweetest scene, seeing Chris hold onto Miles, while gently touching his forehead, brushing his har to the side. But you can’t help feeling like you’re intruding. While Lisa has been nice, she hasn’t given you the most welcoming vibes and you can’t miss the way her body is angled, essentially leaving you out of the conversation.

Only a few minutes have passed when you start to notice that a woman at a table a few away from your group is taking pictures with her phone. She isn’t being sneaky by any means. You’re really wishing you would have worn a ballcap today to hide your face. You don’t particularly care if your face ends up in a photo with Chris, but you don’t want to have him deal with that. October wasn’t that long ago, so you in another picture with Chris at Disney will only lead to more rumors. You turn slightly in your seat so that you’re facing away from him.

“Something wrong, Y/N?” he asked.

“Someone’s taking pictures.”

“Of course. Fuck,” he mutters before quickly closing his mouth, forgetting that Miles is right there.

He stands up, still carrying Miles.

“Michael, can we find another spot?” Chris asked.

Lisa gets the other two kids to grab their bottles of water and out of their seats.

“Yes, Mr. Evans. Follow me please,” Michael answered.

He leads your group through a maze of turns, eventually entering into a door labeled “Cast Members Only”.

“Well just hang out here for a few minutes. I’m sure Miles needs the air conditioning,” Chris said.

The six of you plus Michael stand in a wide hallway just past the door. There’s a row of lockers on the wall with various open doors you can see in the distance. It’s a bit uncomfortable standing there and with no one speaking it’s downright awkward for you.

After a few minutes, Miles starts to perk up. Chris sets him down on his feet and Lisa asks if anyone is hungry.

The kids all agree that they are suddenly starving.

“Michael, is there any reservations available at Coral Reef or Garden Grill?” Lisa asked.

“I’m sure I can find something,” Michael said, pulling out his phone. “For six?”

“Just five,” she replied.

“Ma! Y/N is joining us.” Chris said.

“Oh, I didn’t know if she was spending all day with us or just the morning,” Lisa replied.

Well, now you know that uncomfortableness was with reason.

“It’s okay. I’m actually going to take off,” you said, patting your pocket to make sure you had your keys.

“Sweetheart, no. Stay with us.” He takes your arm and pulls you down the hallway a bit. “Have lunch with us. You’re welcome to. I want you to.”

You look back to his mom who quickly looks away. It’s a family trip so while she’s been a bit cold, you understand that she doesn’t know you and is probably protective of her family.

“That’s alright. This is your family trip and I’m a bit tired. I didn’t sleep so well last night,” you lied. “You guys go have a nice lunch. Call me before going to bed tonight.”

You pull Chris into a hug before he can protest. He places a kiss on your forehead before you pull away. He has a sad smile on his face that you try your best not to match.

As you walk past the group, heading to the door, you stop in front of Lisa.

“It was nice to meet you.”

“You too dear,” she replied.

“Have fun guys!” you said to three kids before pushing open the door, the sun slightly blinding you for a moment.

 Sitting at home and sulking was doing nothing to brighten your mood. Frankly, you felt like shit. You felt bad for leaving the park without spending nearly enough time with Chris. And you felt bad for not just pushing through the uncomfortable vibes Lisa was putting out. What if you would have stayed and she had gotten to know you? You were friends with both Scott and Chris, there may come a time where you would see her again and now it’s going to be just as weird.

Scott texted you around dinner time.

Scott: How’d today go? Did you and Chris get matching ears?

Y/N: It went fine.

There. That was a reasonable answer. It was fine. Sure, you only saw Chris for like two or so hours, and they were mostly fine.

Your phone buzzed in your hand. Of course, it was Scott.

“Look at you calling me so early,” you answered.

“What do you mean fine? That’s it? All this build up to fine.”

“It was just weird and I made it weirder by leaving early,” you sighed out.

“Why’d you leave early?” Scott asked.

“It just seemed like your mom didn’t want me there. And I don’t blame her. It’s a family trip and who the hell am I really?” you quickly spit out.

“Hey! I’m sure that’s not how she felt. You’re one of my best friends, she knows that. I’m sure somehow this is Chris’ fault. I’ll call you back.”

“No, Scott. You don’t have to do that,” you said.

But he didn’t reply back. The little shit hung up on you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scott hit the contact button for Chris, the ring sounding too many times for Scott’s patience.

“Hey, Scott,” Chris answered.

“Hey, jerk,” Scott replied.

“Why am I a jerk? Jerk!”

“I just talked to Sassy. Doesn’t sound like it went well. What happened?”

Chris sighed. “Yeah, it could have been better. Miles didn’t feel well and it kind of just went downhill from there.”

Scott groaned. “That’s too bad. She mentioned something about Ma not wanting her there.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I mean, she wasn’t acting like they were best friends. They just didn’t get a lot of time to get to know each other. Sassy’s just overthinking it,” Chris said.

“Yeah…You’re probably right. It’s just too bad you didn’t get a lot of time together.”

“Me too,” Chris said softly.

“Have a good day tomorrow.”

“Thanks, bud. Bye,” Chris said.

“Bye,” Scott said, ending the call.

“What’s going on with Sassy?” Lisa asked, startling Chris.

“Geez Ma! Ya scared me,” Chris hissed.

Lisa chuckled at her son’s response, putting her hands up. “Sorry.”

“She’s just disappointed with how today went,” Chris replied, running a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t even know you knew Sassy,” Lisa said.

“What are you talking about?” Chris asked, suddenly really confused.

“Well, Scott talks about Sassy all the time. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you mention her.”

“Ma, you’re giving me a headache. I introduced you to Sassy today. What are you going on about?” Chris asked.

“Christopher, are you telling me that Y/N is Sassy?”

“Yes!” Chris half chuckled, half groaned out.

“Oh no.” she mumbled. “I didn’t know they were one in the same! Christopher, I thought she was just some girl you met. I didn’t know she was Scott’s good friend Sassy!” Lisa exclaimed.

“Well, geez Ma. Thinkin’ so highly of me that I’d bring around just some girl on a family trip.” Chris said, running his hand through his hair once again.

“You boys don’t tell me these things. Now I feel so bad. Please apologize to her for me. Actually, you should apologize as well,” Lisa said.

“Me? What did I do?” Chris shouted.

“You didn’t make her stay,” she said matter-of-factly. “Take her out tomorrow. Go spend time with your friend. I can handle the kids just fine.”

Lisa left the room, calling out to the kids who were suddenly too quiet in one of the bedrooms.

Chris hung his head low. His mother was right. This was his first time he’s seen you since your quick meeting last fall. He didn’t want to go home leaving today as your only impression.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scott had sent you a simple text that made you smile a short while later.

Scott: My brother’s a bone head

Y/N: Not disagreeing

 The last Hallmark Christmas movie you saved to your DVR was playing on the TV. Something about a singer who was trying to catch his big break and ends up skipping Christmas. By now they storylines were all starting to blur together. Your phone buzzed with a message, dragging your eyes away from the TV.

Chris: You float like a feather In a beautiful world I wish I was special You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here

What’s he going on about?

Y/N: Radiohead?

Your phone rang about a half a second later.

“So, you’re a creep huh?” you answered.

“Feeling like one,” Chris sighed out. “I’m sorry sweetheart. I wanted our day to be better.”

“Babe, it’s fine. It wasn’t bad. I’m sure you’ll be in town again,” you replied.

“My mother says sorry by the way. She didn’t realize you were THE Sassy. Apparently, Scott goes on and on about you.”

You chuckled at that. “That’s not embarrassing at all.”

“My mother doesn’t think to highly of me as she thought you were just someone I met and asked to hangout with us,” he groaned.

“I didn’t think my Mickey tee gave off that vibe,” you chuckled out. “Tell her it’s fine and it was still nice to meet her.”

“You are such a sweetheart,” Chris said.

There goes your stomach again. You really wished that hug earlier wasn’t so short and sloppy.

“I was wonderin’ if I could see you again, tomorrow?”

“Oh, I don’t know Chris,” you said hesitantly.

“Please? Just the two of us. Just me and you. I want to see you again before I had back to Mass.”

“But it’s your family time and I don’t want to take away from that,” you reasoned.

“Sweetheart, my ma told me she can handle tomorrow by herself. Not that I don’t want to see you.” He lets out a breath. “I really want to see you.”

There’s so much conviction in his voice. It’s so gravely that your finding yourself gripping the side of the couch cushion to stay grounded.

“Okay,” you sputter out. Clearing your throat, you try that again. “Okay.” It’s firmer and much better than screaming “yes, please!”

“Great!” You can hear the smile in his voice which instantly puts one on your face. “Can you, ah, could you pick me up? We did a car service and I figure it’s probably easier if you just come and grab me?” he said.

“That’s not a problem. Dork.”

“Oh, are we back at that again? I’m pretty sure you were the one in a Mickey Mouse t-shirt today.”

You scoff. “Mickey is your idol. Don’t even!”

He chuckles low and deep. “You got me.”

 Since it’s just you and Chris and you aren’t running around a theme park, you chose a white t-shirt dress with navy blue stripes. You added a thin brown leather belt to give the dress some form and pair it with brown strappy flat sandals. You’re picking Chris up at the villa they rented at one and then off to lunch. He’s letting you pick since you live in the area. Adding a touch of gloss to your lips, you grab your bag and walk out to your car.

 After putting your car in park in the driveway, you fire off a text letting him know you’re there. Even though you received a sorry via Chris from Lisa, you didn’t want to chance another odd meeting. They probably were at the parks anyway, but you didn’t want to take that chance.

A minute later her comes jogging to your car. The goof. He’s dressed casually but put together in navy colored shorts and crisp white V-neck t-shirt. The fact that your coordinated doesn’t slip past you.

He gets in, immediately pulling you into a hug. Chris kisses your forehead for the briefest of moments before letting go. You manage a dopey smile because damn if you aren’t smitten. Generally, you are pretty quick on your feet and would have already had something witty to say, but that kiss, even though it was innocent, really threw you off.

“Hi,” you manage to squeak out.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

You stare a little too long at his lips before shaking yourself out of it and slapping a smile on your face.

“So, lunch?” you asked.

 The two of you dine at Four Rivers Smokehouse which is one of your favorite spots for a quick bite. The food is always great with a good mix of people stopping by on their lunch break and families enjoying a meal out.

He chooses the ribs and you the brisket before grabbing a table in the corner, offering him the seat facing the wall, hoping it brings a little anonymity. The idea of being recognized in public didn’t even cross your mind as it’s not something you ever have to worry about. You regret your decision of choosing a restaurant with so many windows and frequent turn over. Despite your worries, Chris has not alluded to any discomfort as he happily eats his food. He’s added extra barbecue sauce to his ribs. Squeezing a bit from each of the six bottles at your table, sampling each one before choosing the one labeled ‘smoky’.

“This is really good. I mean, really good,” he said, sauce smeared around his lips.

He’s adorable and it takes everything in you not to reach forward to wipe the sauce from his face. You lick your own, it’s an involuntary action that his eyes get drawn too. At least you’re not the only one finding yourself distracted.

“I come here like once a week. But we keep that between me and you,” you said with a smirk. He chuckles before grabbing a napkin to wipe his face.

 Lunch has long been finished but the two of you stay seated at your table, enjoying just being together face to face. Your conversation is much like it is via phone call, but now you get to study each other’s facial expressions. Loving how his eyes crinkle when he really smiles. How his eyebrows raise when he gets serious. He’s a work of art and doesn’t even realize it.

It’s already four in the afternoon and the restaurant is in that between time after the lunch crowds and before the dinner rush. You somehow manage to remove your eyes from his and see that there are only two other tables occupied.

“I didn’t realize we’ve been here for so long,” you said, stretching your arms. “I’m also impressed you didn’t get any of that sauce on your white shirt.”

Chris chuckles and shakes his head. He reaches his hand across the table, taking yours in his.

“I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”

“We can go back to my place,” you offer, your face instantly heating up at the implication. “I mean, because I live nearby. Not that you need to come back with me. I-I just want to hangout longer,” you stutter out.

Chris smiles wide, squeezing your hand a few times. “Let’s go hangout.”

 “Cheers!” Chris said, clinking his bottle of beer against yours.

It’s the second bottle for both of you, but probably the last for you as you still need to drive him back and the whole “not drinking for a long time” promise you made yourself.

“Cheers,” you echo before taking a long pull from the bottle.

“Didn’t picture you the beer drinker, Y/N.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that Mr. Evans?”

“Mr. Evans? Someone’s mighty formal,” he said. You shrug your shoulders in response before taking another sip. “You just seem like wine is more your speed. Perhaps raspberry vodka,” he chuckles out.

“I could just kill your brother,” you groan out. “Pretty sure I have at least a third of the bottle left in my fridge if you want any.”

Chris shakes his head, taking a drink of beer. “I’ll leave that for you.”

“So, kind. So, kind,” you snicker.

He’s reclined on your couch while you sit in your comfy blue armchair, feet folded up under you. Chris is skimming through the music on your phone, picking a new song after the last is done rather than letting it play through.

“You wanna sync your phone to my speakers? We can play something from your phone,” you offered.

“Nah, I like a lot of your stuff.”

You hold your hand in front of your face and pretend to blow on your nails while winking at him, in that “I’m too cool” kind of way.

 The sun is starting to set and you have a good view of the painted sky from your backyard. It’s still plenty warm, but with the sun down and your ceiling fan on, the two of you are comfortable sitting on your loveseat on the lanai snacking on pizza rolls because that’s all that you had that didn’t require defrosting.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Chris said.

“Yeah, it’s not a bad view to have. Should’ve had you bring your suit. It was hard to drag Scott out of the pool,” you replied.

“How’d you put up with him the whole weekend?” Chris asked. He said it so seriously, but you can see a hint of a smile.

“Well, I’ve managed so far with you, so I can pretty much handle anything.”

He bumps you with his shoulder and shakes his head. “So, sassy.”

“That’s what they call me.”

“Who’s they?” Chris smirks.

“Just you and Scott.”

You let out a little chuckle and you notice those eye crinkles reappear.

“Good,” he agrees.

 It’s late, nearing eleven. Chris stopped drinking after three beers, the two of you switching over to water.

“You want to watch a movie?” Chris asked.

You had gone back to your living room an hour prior. Sitting in opposite corners of the couch, but facing each other, your foot bumps his leg once in awhile causing you both to blush.

“Don’t you have to get back? You have an early flight, right?”

“Not until eleven thirty. We can go if you want me to or if you’re getting tired, but I rather stay here with you,” he replied, sincerity in his voice.

Fuck. He’s going to be the death of me.

Honestly, you’d stay up for the next two days if it meant spending time together. And the fact that he wants to stay makes you want to weep tears of joy. But that’s just a little too dramatic.

“I want you to stay.”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you agree, lightly slapping his bent leg resting on the couch cushion.

He grabs your hand before you can pull it away, holding it there, just resting on his leg. You shyly look up and see him looking at you. The only words that matches the two of you is heart eyes and you pray that you aren’t imaging it.

After what feels like several minutes but more like mere seconds, your mouth opens up and you break the spell.

“What do you want to watch?”

Chris lets go of your hand and your heart instantly crashes at the loss of contact.

“I think you know,” he replied. Your mouth quirks to the side while you try to figure him out. “Come on! You know.”

You put on a fake annoyed look and shake your head. “Really? Do we have to?”

“I’m pretty sure you said if I visited, we’d watch it,” Chris said.

“Fine. I’m a woman of my word,” you said.

Grabbing the Roku remote, you clicked on your Amazon app, finding The Princess Bride, and renting before Chris could offer you five dollars to pay for it.

“I’m the host! I don’t need your money babe,” you reasoned.  

The movie played on and you slowly found yourself leaning on Chris more and more. Not that he minded. The closer you got, the more hands on he became. Half way through, you were completely laying on his chest, both your legs out stretched on the couch while his rest on the floor. His left arm is stationary on the arm of the couch while the other was wrapped around you. Your right hand laid on his chest as your fingers lightly rub it without even realizing you were doing so. Chris would quietly hum now and then, bringing a smile to your face.

Friends cuddle. They totally do.

Before you even reach the end of the movie, you’ve fallen asleep. So much for seeing it all the way through. Chris readjusted so that the two of you are laying comfortably.

You awake sometime later to Chris brushing his hand through your hair. The TV is still on but nothing is playing.

“M’sorry,” you mumble. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

You sit up slightly, taking in his tired eyes. He looks back at you adoringly.

“It’s okay. I’ll make you watch it again next time,” he said softly.

The words next time make you beam inside. You sit up, setting your feet on the floor.

“Want me to bring you home?”

“Nah, we’re both too tired. Take me in the morning?” he asked.

“Of course. Do you want to go to bed? What time is it anyway?”

“I think about three.” Chris sits up on the couch, running a hand down his face. “I’m actually a little more awake after our nap,” he quietly chuckled.

“You want to pull an all-nighter?” Well, kind of all-nighter since we did sleep for a little bit.”

“Yeah, if you’re not too tired,” he said shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh, shit! Did you tell your mom you weren’t coming back?”

Chris throws his head back laughing. “It’s my ma. Of course, I sent her a text. Once we started the movie, I figured I’d be staying over.”

“Good. I don’t need her thinking I’m a bad person. Taking advantage of her baby boy.”

You get up, walking to the kitchen to grab a couple of more water bottles. Chris swats your ass just as you pass him.

 The two of you have the music back on, sitting close to one another, choosing to talk through the early hours of morning. It’s nice and you can’t help but feel closer to him. Part of you is worried that this is a one-time thing. Chris comes to Orlando once or twice a year, but probably can’t get away to spend time with you each trip. You start to do the math on your own vacation time, trying to think if there are events out of state that a publication will pay you to write about. But it’s way too early to be thinking this much, you just need to be here in the now.

You shift your focus back to Chris who’s looking at you with a dopey grin.

“So, will you?” he asked.

Huh?

“Will I what?” you asked.

“Did I lose you for a minute?” he chuckles out.

“I’m sorry. Lack of sleep. I’m with you now. What’d you ask?”

“I said.” Chris stands up. “Do you want to go for a walk?” He takes your hand and pulls you to your feet, not letting you answer. “Sun’s almost up.”

You nod your head, walking to the door to slip on a pair of sneakers. They don’t quite go with your dress, but you’ve essential been up for almost a full day.

Grabbing your keys from the table near the door, you lock up and pass your keys to Chris since you don’t have any pockets. You live on a residential street that’s a mix of vacation rentals and long-term residents like yourself. There are a few joggers out, but besides them, it’s just you two.

Chris takes your hand in his as the two of you stroll slowly around your block.

“I’m really glad you were able to hangout today,” he said.

“Me too. I actually wish you were staying longer.”

“Me too sweetheart. I don’t want to wait another seven months to see you,” he confessed.

You stop in your tracks. Keeping a hold of his hand, you turn to face him.

“You don’t?” you asked.

Where this doubt is coming from, you’re not so sure. The two of you are friends, so of course you’ll see each other again. It’s just this in between flirting and touching that has you all mixed up.

Chris gently rests his other hand on your face and leans in, slowly bringing his lips to yours. They’re soft and smooth, just like you’ve imagined. You eagerly kiss him back but don’t want to push it, so you remain solid where you stand, letting him do the work. He slowly pulls away, but not far because you can feel his warm breath on your face. His eyes are intense, asking for permission. You slightly nod your head and before you know it, his lips hit yours. It’s so quick you’ve barely shut your eyes before his other hand takes a hold of your face and he kisses you more intensely. You’re not complaining, but you are thankful it’s so early, the neighborhood is barely awake. You wrap your arms around his back and hold him tight as he kisses you senseless. He pulls back again, still holding your face gently before planting a chaste kiss on your lips.

You flutter your eyes open to see a soft smiling Chris. He’s still lightly holding your face and you hope he doesn’t stop.

“Was that okay?” he asked softly.

He knows it was. He’s just being a little shit per the usual.

You give him a small frown and quickly see a tiny bit of doubt in his eyes.

“I think I need to try that again,” you said, grabbing his face and bringing him to you. You kiss him softly on the lips. Once. Twice. Three times before you feel him smile against you. He leans his forehead against yours as you both stand there like two smiling fools.

“Of course, I don’t want to wait this long to see you again,” he breathes out.

“Me neither,” you agree.

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[glitterblazercalum]

you can tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to 🎵🎶

rules: hit shuffle on your media player and write down the first 20 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

tysm to @clumsyclifford for tagging me! I still can’t actually believe it when I get tagged in things lol. PLEASE do not call me out for my very strange and noncohesive taste in music. also, my ability to ramble is unparalleled, so feel free to skip all the commentary bc I know I would. 

Hometown by French 79: wow. I guess we’re starting off by exposing me and the techno/edm I listen to while studying/working. the lyrics in this song are practically non-existent, which is how I like my study music, but something about it is very soothing, while still being very fast-paced. I heard it/ some other songs on my study playlist described once as “orchestral electronic” and that seems very fitting. a good song, for sure, although I wouldn’t really say it plays a big role in my music taste. 

False Confidence by Noah Kahan: the only noah kahan song that I had heard before actually getting into his music, and still one of my favorites. all of busyhead is honestly so good. I think I said this to bella once, but Noah Kahan has such a woodsy, cabin-in-Vermont vibe, and at the moment, I’m very into that. 

High Highs to Low Lows by  Lolo Zouaï: I really forgot this song existed. My cousin? second-cousin? (idk not much of my family is in the us, so whatever she is to me, we’re close) and I went to see Lolo Zouaï live on of our NYC trips. (Fun fact: this is the only concert I’ve ever been to!) I didn’t know anything about her until like a week before we went, so I listened to a bunch of her music for a week before and after seeing her, and then I forgot about it. It’s honestly pretty good, and her voice is very ethereal-sounding in parts, which is how I like to imagine mine sounds when I sing, so it’s fun trying to sing it. 

Classic by MKTO: if I could pick a song to encompass the feeling of sixth grade, it would be this one. this really isn’t the type of music I’d usually choose to listen to, but I always let it play through when it comes on, for nostalgia purposes. 

Castaway by 5SOS: YESSSSSS. Best song on SGFG, and no, I will not be taking any criticism. I adore Castaway with my entire heart, and even though I listen to it at least once a day on my morning run, I will never get sick of it. 

Teeth by 5SOS: Speaking of getting sick of things... I mean, not really, but I also do not love this song anywhere near as much as I used to back in like March/April. This was one of the first songs by 5SOS that I listened to consistently, and probably THE one that convinced me to get more into their other music, so for that, it holds a special place in my heart, but I overplayed this wayyyy too much. Still good, but I’d prefer to not hear it for a while so I can get back to the place where I would scream-sing my heart out to this. 

Mauja hi Mauja by Mika Singh: the first Bollywood song on the list! My parents actually introduced me to this one when I was like seven years old, and I’ve loved it ever since. It always puts a smile on my face, and it’s really fun to dance around my room to, which is always my main goal when listening to Bollywood. 

Alejandro by Lady Gaga: Where did this even come from, and why do I still remember all the lyrics?

UNSTATUS QUO by Duckwrth: I originally listened to this bc I liked the title and as a pretentious debate nerd who used the phrase “status quo” at least four times a day, it felt like blasphemy not to. This is def my “cool kid in a movie walking down the street” song. It’s more... loud? cacophonous? than the music I usually listen to, but it really, really does make me feel cool. I think if I were to hear it more often than I do, I would probably stop liking it. 

Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens: yeah, I don’t know about this one. I feel like I can only listen to this when I’m already sobbing, so I’m gonna skip it for now. I never actually watched CMBYN, so idk how I even found this song. ALSO fun fact, I found a ten hour loop of this song on youtube once, and listened to the whole thing in one sitting. as I’m sure you can guess, that was not a good day :)

Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys: bitches listen to one arctic monkeys song and think they’re indie, yeah, it’s me. I’m bitches. 

Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex: wow, really proving my own point about only listening to very well-known indie music. 

Greek God by Conan Gray: This song just FEELS aesthetic and I don’t quite understand that but I still like it. 

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood: it’s actually been a minute since I last heard this, but I still like it! I was def more attached to this song about two years ago, so I don’t have much to say about it anymore. 

Summer is a Curse by The Faim: I actually heard this on a German tv show once and LOVED it. I really didn’t have any idea that Ashton was involved until a few months ago and I was like “wait, what??” it’s def a v good song, but I feel uncomfy endorsing/supporting it bc of the sexual misconduct allegations against one of the Faim’s members. Unfortunate, really, but that’s not something I can really get past. 

Bang! by AJR: I’m surprised AJR hasn’t shown up sooner tbh. The “Metronome” line and “pretend you know this song everybody” are CONSTANTLY stuck in my head. If I could choose any concert to go to, it would be either AJR or 5SOS. They actually had a really cool socially-distant drive-in concert yesterday, but it was in Philly, which is a bit too far to drive the week before college starts. 

Formidable by Stromae: <3 the song I was listening to when I made an ao3 account <3 I feel like I know too many people who had a Stromae phase. I don’t even understand French music all that well, but this is a bop. 

Hasta el Amanecer by Nicky Jam: Damn, I just realized that there’s music in four languages on this list now. We stan multilingualism. This is one that I do actually understand most of the lyrics for, so we love that. It was fun listening to this again, bc I really haven’t heard it in at least a year. 

Higher by The Score: The album that this is from came out on my birthday a few years ago! (just realized that there’s no recent music on this list, and if one thing describes my music taste accurately, it’s finding music a few years after it was released/popular). This is back from my soccer-playing days, and it was one of my pump-up songs for bus rides to away games. I think I might put this album back on regular rotation bc this is actually quite good!

No Control by One Direction: what even is there to say? I wasn’t really into 1D while they were actually active (rip me), and this is the song that made me give them a chance (chonce). perfect note to end on. 

As for tagging others, I think I’ve avoided it enough times that I kind of have to now, so sorry in advance if 1. you’ve already done this/ been tagged and/ or 2. you have no idea who I am and are confused as to why I’m acting like I know you. I’ll just do the first ten people who pop up when I type the at symbol: @originalashstan @tothemoonmikey @5sos-fan-boy @calumcest @ashesonthefloor @kaleidoscopeminds @mashlums @poisonjaffas @tirednotflirting @fuckyeah5sostakemehome

[avmisworld]

BTS when they say ‘I Love You’:

Kim Seokjin:

Since you started dating, your boyfriend had probably spent countless hours of your time together making you food.

Seokjin was always in the kitchen, making you your favorite dishes when you were in your period, comfort food when you were sad, and just food in general.

You had no complaints, obviously, but you still wished you could someday cook Jin something he deserved, and not a burnt egg or something like that.

And now was the perfect time. Because it was your half-year anniversary today, and also your first date with Jin after weeks of him promoting BTS' new hit single: Dynamite.

You were feeling determined today, the need to satisfy you and your boyfriend's appetite, hopefully without burning down the kitchen and adding another funny memory to Jin's growing list.

You tie your hair into a ponytail, making sure none of the long strands somehow manage to escape into the food, and wash your hands for the hundredth time, staring at the lit up screen of your phone with concentration.

The recipe was pretty simple, you suppose. It had a lot of ingredients for sure, which caused you a small heart-attack when you first read it, but there weren't too many instructions.

You've watched Jin make Naengmyeon countless times, considering it was one of his favorite foods, and you've even helped him a few times (usually it was just Jin sending you to bring things from the refrigerator to make you feel hopeful).

'Just do as the recipe says', you think to yourself, before starting the TV and switching the channel to one of the many music channels available.

Jin was supposed to be home around nine, which meant you had plenty of time to get the food ready, clean the house and set up the romantic setting for your date.

You dance around the kitchen as you prepare the dish, bobbing your head to some unknown ballad playing on the TV, and follow the steps written on your phone.

After two hours of running around the kitchen, you collapse against the marble of your kitchen counter, letting your head fall and rest against the cold surface.

The kitchen looks like hell, the counter entirely covered with scraps of vegetables and powder from the various spices you used. The floor is covered with sparkling grains of sugar, a result of you running frantically to the other side of the kitchen with an open sack of sugar in your hands.

You look pretty bad as well, your simple gray cotton shorts covered with soy sauce, the top of your black t-shirt littered with grains of salt. Your hair was barely restrained, long strands framing the side of your face, sticking to your skin thanks to the heat in the kitchen.

But none of that matters, not when there is a small pot filled to the brim with Mul Naengmyeon, the perfect amount for two people, almost identical to Jin's, but still somehow your own.

* It's after another four hours of cleaning the house, organizing it, and getting ready yourself, that everything is finally ready.

You tug nervously at the hem of your sleeveless peach midi dress, still not used to wearing clothes this tight, but Jimin had assured you Jin will love this dress and the nude lace up heels you matched it with.

Your apartment is also unbelievably organized, the air around you smelling like roses and homemade food, the floor and the kitchen spotless, even the pillows on the couch set in place carefully.

It was currently 8:45, so Jin was supposed to be here any minute now. The thought was so distracting you couldn't even get yourself to pick up your phone, staring at the oak door of your apartment instead.

Despite anticipating his arrival, you can't help but jump slightly when the knock on the door finally comes, clearing your throat as you get up from the couch.

"Who is it?", you ask as you approach the door, a smile making its way to your face when you open it, to be met with the smiling face of your boyfriend.

Jin looks handsome, wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into black dress pants, matched with bluish-black blazer. His hair, almost long enough to reach his shoulders, is pushed away from his forehead, showing off his sharp eyebrows and endless dark eyes.

"You look handsome", you say honestly, blushing slightly and averting your eyes from Jin's striking black ones, who smirks slightly at your embarrassment.

"I know", he responds, just as honestly as you, and you snort, shaking your head when your boyfriend leans in and pecks your lips sweetly, his warm hand cupping your cheek before pulling back.

"You look amazing, too, though.", Jin says with a grin, pushing your hair behind your ear, "That dress is gorgeous. And your face is not bad, either.", he adds, a teasing tone in his voice.

"Why, thank you, my dear boyfriend", you say sarcastically, leading Jin into the house, your hands intertwined, fingers laced together.

Before your boyfriend can answer, probably another funny comment that'll lead to more bickering, you hear his breath get caught in his throat.

"Wow", pride fills you when you hear Jin's admiring voice, and you shoot him a glance, smiling when you see his wide eyes and open mouth.

You had set up the table perfectly, with a clean white tablecloth, shiny silverware, wine glasses and silk napkins included, and a bottle of your best wine.

"Wait for it", you say to your boyfriend mischievously, seating him down in one of the leather chairs standing by the table, before rushing to the kitchen, your heels making tapping sounds against the parquet floor.

You bring the pot of cold noodles back with you, enjoying Jin's face of shock at the sight of his all time favorite meal.

"I made it myself", you say, not even trying to hide the pride lacing your voice, and Jin stares at you with disbelief, shaking his head.

"This is… This is so…", you giggle when Jin stumbles over his words, a bit taken a back yourself by how much your boyfriend liked the surprise.

But you didn't expect Seokjin to stand up from his chair, winding his arms around and causing you to let out a shriek of surprise as he hugs you to him, pressing kisses all over your face, your eyes, lips, cheeks, forehead, just anywhere he can reach.

"I love you", he whispers when he finally pulls back, his hands still resting on your waist, thumbs stroking your hipbones and his forehead pressed against yours.

You feel your heart burst, and you smile so hard you're pretty sure you might rip your face, before you surge forward, kissing Seokjin again, so deep it makes both of you dizzy, gasping for air when you finally pull away.

"I love you, too", you smile, your nose brushing Jin's ever so gently when he chuckles, the vibration echoing against your conjoined chests.

"This will be really awkward if the food isn't tasty, though.", You say suddenly, and Jin laughs even harder, hugging you tighter to his chest.

Min Yoongi:

Dealing with depression was something you suffered from your whole life, since sixth grade. Insecurities that eventually formed into anxiety and led to sleepless nights and pillows wet from your tears.

Since you started dating Yoongi seven months ago, your mental state improved drastically. As someone who suffered from depression himself, Suga seemed to understand you without a hint of judgement, and his soft words helped you greatly when it came to your self-esteem.

Still, there were episodes. Times when the darkness came crawling back to you, swallowing you whole and blocking every piece of light trying to penetrate it. Even your favorite gummy smile and shiny eyes.

You tuck the blanket around you even tighter, bending your legs so you're curled up, hearing the beating of your own heart against your ears.

The humming of the air conditioner in the room is a constant sound in your ear by now, and you wonder how much time you've been hiding in the safe confines of your queen sized bed.

It feels like years, but maybe it's just because you miss your boyfriend so much. You haven't told Yoongi anything about your current 'episode', so he probably assumes you're working like any other day.

A knock on the door jerks you awake from your dreamlike state, and you stare at the exit to your room, the open hallway taunting you silently.

You stare at the door, shocked and slightly fearful. Nobody was supposed to come to your apartment, at least no one that you know of.

Sitting up in your bed, you throw the blanket off your body, hesitation filling you. The room reeks of misery, the blinds on the windows drawn down so no light streams through the glass, the only light coming from the flat TV leaning against the wall, airing some action movie you didn't recognize.

You frown when the knocking against your door continues without a break. Whoever this is, he definitely wasn't giving up, and it was pissing you off.

After a few more seconds, you give in, mumbling profanities under your breath, and get up from your bed, your sock-clad feet silent against the parqeut floor of your apartment.

You pad out of the room, entering the hallway slowly, and feel your heart clench painfully in your chest at the sight of your reflection in the mirrors hanging on the wall.

You look horrible, considering you haven't left your bedroom for two days, not even to eat or take a shower. Your hair is messy, dark curls framing your face in random directions. Your eyes are outlined with dark circles, so deep they look imprinted in your face, and they're bloodshot and red from hours of crying.

You look thin, thinner than usual, your cheeks almost disappearing and the bones in your face popping out. The black trainers and the loose white tank top you're wearing hang on your body loosely, and the smell clinging to you isn't great, either.

You walk to the door slowly, where the knocking still hasn't stopped, and curse yourself once again for not having an eyehole installed in the door, something incredibly useful in moments like this.

"Who is it?", You ask, wincing at the sound of your own voice. Your throat is sore after not using it for so long, and there is sorrow outlining every word coming out of your mouth, like each word is weighing you down.

"It's me, Y/N. Open the door.", The voice on the other side is one you immediately know, a voice that only brings back good memories, of gentle laughter and soft music and kisses that melt away your pain like hot water, but you still step away from the door, feeling panic spread through your chest. He can't see you like this. No way.

"Go away, Yoongi. Please.", you whisper, hugging yourself until you can feel your rapid breathing, like a balloon about to pop.

"I just came to give you something.", Suga says, voice calm and steady, but you can hear the familiar tone, the one that told you that there is no way he'll leave before he sees you. "Come on. I'll leave right after if you want."

You breath slowly, feeling tears rise in your eyes. You knew you can't get rid of Yoongi, and that was a quality you always loved and appreciated, his power of will, but now it seemed to be coming back to bite you in the ass.

After another moment of silence, you unlock the door slowly, hearing the click of the lock opening before twisting the doorknob carefully, and opening the door slightly.

Yoongi looks like home, even when you're in your apartment. His soft black hair you love to run your finger through, his dark eyes you could spend hours looking at, the fair skin that seemed to glow even during the darkest nights, the smile you knew was saved for you, even if it was currently filled with worry.

He's wearing simple blue basketball shorts, and a loose black tee, the huge ones he has millions of in his closet, and his white sneakers are tapping against each other nervously as he sees you.

"Hey", he whispers softly, careful not to scare you. "Can I come in?", His eyes are studying you, watching your every move when you nod silently after thinking for a while, opening the door slowly.

Yoongi makes his way into your apartment, and after you close the door behind him he reaches forward to hand you something you didn't notice he was holding.

It was one of your sweaters, a huge purple one with the words 'angel' on it in big white block letters, the kind of sweater you continually forget at Suga's apartment when you come over.

"I came to your work to give it you, but apparently you didn't come for the last two days.", your boyfriend explains himself quickly as you take the sweater from his hands, and you feel warmth fill you up when he you notice his voice isn't filled with the slightest bit of anger that you didn't bother to tell him you weren't going to work this week, like any good girlfriend would do.

"Thank you" , you whisper, biting your lip when a silence fills the air around the two of you, and you wonder how could you be such a horrible person, a selfish girlfriend, who hides from her own boyfriend and forces him sick with worry.

You don't deserve Yoongi, he's so understanding and kind-hearted despite your disgusting attitude. But he'll probably break up with you soon, honestly, how much can a person suffer from this sort of relationship? He's probably looking for the right time to tell you-

"Hey.", There are warm hands cupping your face, and then a face in front of yours, bending slightly to look straight into your eyes. "I can hear you thinking, and I know you're blaming yourself again."

You shake your head, refusing to meet your boyfriend's eyes, and feel your own fill up with tears. This might be the last time he'll hold you like this…

"Y/N, please look at me.", Yoongi's voice again, his thumbs brushing away the hot tears streaming down your cheeks, his voice soft yet persistent.

You meet his eyes, his dark brown orbs locking you in place, his face faded away because of the tears blocking your eyesight.

"Stop. Please stop. I won't ever leave you.", his voice is sincere, his expression pained, and he seems to hesitate for a second before he looks at you once again with determination. "I love you."

Your heart stops, you believe, and you can't even find it in yourself to push him away, too dazed to even react to what your boyfriend just said.

He seems to notice as well, because he smiles, almost with amusement, before pulling you into his arms and pressing a warm kiss to your temple, so soft it hurts. "I love you", he whispers once again, lips brushing against your ear, and you can't help but tighten your arms around him as you finally let your body relax, melting into his arms like ice-cream in the sun.

You're too emotional, too fragile, to respond just yet, but when your tears start falling down again, wetting the junction between Yoongi's shoulder and neck, it's for an entirely different reason. And judging by the way Yoongi hugs you just a bit stronger, arms secure and safe around your waist, you think he knows.

Jung Hoseok:

Waiting at your empty apartment gave you too much room to think. Too much space to let your feelings control you, to let your thoughts wander.

Hoseok was coming back to Seoul today after being on tour for five months. Getting ripped away from your boyfriend for such a long time, only three months after you started dating, was everything but easy.

The fear your idol boyfriend will find someone else, someone better, on his trip around the world, was constant, along with the worry for his health and well-being.

But now he was coming back home, to you, after months of face-timing each other and sending longing texts, and you couldn't be happier.

You stare at your phone screen, trying to distract yourself until you'll hear the anticipated knock on the door, but it's useless.

Looking around, you bite your lip, wondering if the ramen you bought from your favorite restaurant downtown was a good idea, or if Hobi will be too tired from the flight, and will go to sleep immediately.

Before you can regret anything, a knock on the door makes you jump in place, and you place a hand on your chest, feeling your heart beat too loudly, racing against the palm of your hand.

"Coming!", you practically leap to the door, your slipper-clad feet almost slipping against the marble floor of your apartment, and unlock the door quickly, not even bothering to check who it is.

And there he is, in all his glory. Brown hair, just on the border between super hot and messy. Ripped skinny jeans with a white golf shirt and a knee-long brown coat. Tired eyes covered with gold spectacles, and a huge smile, the kind that no amount of exhaustion can wipe.

"Y/Nieee~~", your boyfriend squeals, practically leaping towards you, leaving his beige bag on the top of the stairs without a second thought as he wraps his arms around you tightly, lifting you up from the ground as if you were a leaf and not a grown woman.

You laugh gleefully, unable to quiet down your own excitement as the sight of your boyfriend's happiness, and wrap your own arms around J-hope's neck, burying your nose in his shoulder and breathing in the smell of his cologne.

The two of you don't seem to care at all that you're standing two metres from your apartment, in the hallway of your building, hugging each other and laughing like maniacs, and that's exactly what you like about being with Hope. You just don't care.

Hoseok lowers you down to the floor slowly, until your feet are standing on the sturdy ground once again, but his arms stay wrapped around you tightly, hugging your waist as if he's afraid to let go. You stay like that, swaying from side to side.

"I missed you so much", you whisper, the sudden emotions making you pull back from your boyfriend and cup his cheeks with your hands, staring into the chocolate brown orbs you love so much.

Your boyfriend smiles and leans forward to close the gap between your lips, the shape of his smile imprinted against your own, and you sigh when you feel his soft lips against your own, something akin to relief flooding through your body.

It's soft, almost careful, when J-hope pulls you impossibly closer, one of his hands sliding up from your waist to cup your jaw, tilting your head to the side to kiss you even better.

When he pulls back, there's this unreadable expression on his face, the kind that tells you he's hiding something, but before you can ask what it is, your lover's already saying: "I love you".

Hoseok looks fearful for a moment, his hand twitching restlessly on your waist as he looks at your speechless face, and he quickly adds: "You don't have to say it back right now though. I just wanted you to know, I couldn't stop thinking about it during the tour-"

You kiss J-hope again, smashing your lips on his, the other letting out a surprised noise in the back of his throat at the sudden action, but he responds nevertheless, kissing back just as eagerly, his lips opening up to yours eagerly.

He still looks a little nervous though, even when you pull away, lips shining red and spit-slick, so you giggle, pressing another kiss to his nose because he's too cute to handle.

"I love you, too, dummy", you say, so happy you feel breathless. "I love you so so much."

You shriek when J-hope's confused expression turns into a grin, and he pulls you forward once again, pressing kisses all over your face until you have tears in your eyes from laughing too hard, almost falling backwards. But Hoseok won't let you fall, you know. You're not scared anymore.

Kim Namjoon:

Walking down the hallway to your boyfriend's studio, you start to wonder if this was a good idea. Namjoon didn't really like people interrupting him when he was working, preferring to work two days in a row, without going back home or even eating properly. It's just the type of guy he is.

'Joon needs this.', you remind yourself, 'Even if he thinks he's fine, he definitely needs a break. You're his girlfriend, it's your job to take care of him'.

That was true. You were Namjoon's girlfriend, even if you've been dating for a mere four months, and you were still in that point in your relationship where you didn't feel entirely comfortable showing up at his work without announcement, let alone an invitation.

But you knew that, with all his intelligence and fame, RM was really just a big clumsy baby, who needed to be fed and pampered, even if he won't ever admit it.

Tightening your hold against the bag in your hands, hugged securely to your chest, you increase your pace to Namjoon's room, your black boots making soft tapping sounds against the carpeted floor of the building.

Rkive, written in big black letters with a cute drawing of a house around it on the simple oak door, announces you that you have reached your destination.

You hesitate only for a second before knocking on the door lightly, your hands immediately falling down to fiddle with the hem of your blue wool sweater nervously as you wait for a response.

There's a short 'coming!', and then the door is opening smoothly, and the surprised face of your boyfriend appears instead.

His soft auburn hair is slightly tussled, brushed away from his eyes with what seemed to be the work of his own hands, probably a result of hours of brainstorming. His brown eyes are wide behind square black spectacles, perched on the edge of his nose, terrifyingly close to falling off. There's a beginning of a mustache starting to form above the full lips you loved to kiss so much, also a result of hours of working non-stop.

Namjoon's outfit is, as always, classy and simple. A plain white shirt, tight enough to showcase his strong pecs and biceps, tucked into brown dress pants, which boasted seemingly endless legs, and topped with fashionable olive green sneakers.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?", Namjoon looks shocked, but thankfully not angry or upset, and moves aside to let you in after a quick peck to your cheek, a wide smile on his face, his deep dimple popping out.

You feel a bit shy, despite hoping for this type of reaction, and tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you shift on your feet, looking at the ground sheepishly.

"I bought you something to eat", you explain, sitting on the simple black leather couch the Rkive had to offer, as hand over the bag of food to RM, who opens it with curiosity.

"What-", Namjoon's expression of confusion changes into one of happiness and shock at the sight of the food you gave him, and he takes out the carefully packed boxes of food from the bag, looking at you with admiration.

"How'd you know my favorite foods?", He asks, eyes looking at you so fondly you can't help but look down once again to your lap, fiddling with your fingers.

"I may have asked Taehyung oppa", you admit, feeling a bit creepy for going that far to buy Korean knife noodles and some bulgogi for your boyfriend. "I just haven't seen you for a few days, and I was worried that you aren't eating well, too busy with your music like you always are".

You gasp slightly when you feel gentle fingers grasp your chin, pulling it up so you're eye to eye with Namjoon, who has a soft smile on his lips, so loving it hurts in your chest.

"Thank you.", Namjoon whispers, so close you can count the eyelashes surrounding his dark orbs. "This means so much, Y/N".

And then he's pulling in, his lips warm against yours, like spring after months of winter, and you can't help but close your eyes, basking in the heat that is your boyfriend.

"I love you", Namjoon utters quietly when he pulls back, and off a second it feels like the warmth turned into a bonfire with the other's words, like you're a supernova seconds from blowing up.

You hug the male in front of you tightly, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulder and pulling him closer till you can smell the scent of pine woods and springs of fresh water and lemons.

"I love you, too".

Park Jimin:

You hum to yourself, brushing your teeth as quickly and cleanly as you can manage. Your reflection in the mirror in front of you looks too happy for this hour in the night, but you couldn't help it.

You smile to yourself, watching the girl in the mirror with the blushing cheeks and messy bun do the same. There's toothpaste foam dripping down your chin, a result of you opening your mouth while brushing your teeth, but you couldn't care less.

Rinsing your mouth, you tuck a loose curl behind your hair and tug on your Minnie Mouse pajamas, fixing the shorts on your hips and straightening out the red shirt on your chest.

When you think you look acceptable enough, you unlock the door of the bathroom, trying to control the smile threatening to erupt on your face once again as you exit the small room that leads to your bedroom, where your boyfriend is waiting for you.

It's not the first time Jimin slept over since you started dating five months ago, but it's been a while, since your boyfriend had been really busy with BTS' recent comeback and his schedule was always packed.

"Come on, baby, I'm tired", you barely make it into the room and Jimin's already whining, and you can't help but grin at his babyish behavior, walking to the bed where your lover is already lying down, scrolling on his phone.

He's sprawled all over your king bed, his dirty blonde hair spread around his face like the halo of an angel. The blue and white checkered pajamas he's wearing are adorable, especially teamed up with his droopy eyelids and pouty lips, begging to be kissed.

"Okay, okay", you giggle, practically leaping into the bed and wrapping your arms around Jimin tightly, placing your head on his chest, so you can hear the beating of his heart against your ear.

"There's my cuddly baby", Jimin mumbles, leaning over to kiss your temple, once, twice, three times, and you laugh, wiggling on top of him so you're tangled even more together, your hearts beating together.

Even though Jimin said he wanted to go to sleep, you end up talking for another hour and half, just about everything and nothing, sharing sweet kisses in between, and you think how comfortable it is like this, how much you wish to stay awake, even though your eyes are almost half closed by now.

And in that vulnerability, when everything is just so soft and so comfortable, you find yourself drawing patterns over Jimin's chest, stifling another yawn in the soft cotton of his shirt as you say, "I'm so proud of you, Jiminie. You've been incredible this comeback, and I feel like I didn't tell you enough how amazing you are for your hard work and passion".

The hand stroking your hair gently freezes, and you have to admit that you're also surprised by your mini speech, but you take it in a stride. After all, you were just saying the truth.

After a second of silence, you raise your head up, wanting to check the reason your boyfriend was so quiet, but your breath gets caught in your throat when you find soft, full lips pressing against yours tenderly, your hands tangling in Jimin's silky strands of hair on their own accord.

When your boyfriend pulls away, you can see his eyes are slightly glassy, but he's smiling, that heart-shaped smile you adore so much.

"I love you", he whispers, so softly you think you might have imagined it, but Jimin's eyes hold so much sincerity you know you heard correctly.

You gasp, hands still tangled in Jimin's hair, tugging on it just slightly in hopes of keeping yourself grounded, and stare at Jimin's eyes, unable to move your gaze from what you now know is love.

You don't even hesitate before brushing Jimin's hair away from his eyes and leaning down to peck him on the mouth, loving the sweet taste of his lips. "I love you more".

Kim Taehyung:

It was a rainy day. The kind of day you stay at home, preferably with a cup of hot chocolate and a very furry blanket, curled up on the sofa and watching the sparks in the fireplace.

And that was what you were planning to do. Even better than that, you were planning to do just that with your boyfriend.

Taehyung exited the kitchen, holding in his hands two mugs of what you knew was your favorite hot chocolate, made from real cocoa powder and topped with soft marshmallows and whipped cream.

Taehyung looks beautiful, especially in the soft light of your reading lamp, his oak brown hair falling on his forehead messily, showing off his dark eyebrows and his sharp eyes.

He's wearing one of his hoodies, the kind you'll only find in his closet, maroon red with a painting of one of his favorite artists on the front. His oversized black pants and matching wool slippers match the weather outside, and you can't help but smile when he approaches you slowly, careful not to spill the hot beverages in his hands.

Your boyfriend smiles back at you, placing the hot chocolate on the smooth wooden table in front of you before sitting down next to you, kissing your lips quickly.

You smile against Tae's lips, and then lean forward to snuggle against him, tucking your face in the warm space between his neck and shoulder.

You stay like that, Taehyung's hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer until you're practically in his lap, legs thrown over his and a large wool blanket wrapped around your bodies.

"We should go outside.", Taehyung says after a few minutes of silence, and you raise your head from his chest, where you were reading a novel you borrowed from the library last week.

You shoot your boyfriend an incredulous look, making sure he wasn't joking. You were used to Taehyung making all kinds of weird suggestions since you got together eight months ago, and you adored his special way of thinking, but this still surprised you.

"Tae, it's raining", you say, pointing out the obvious as you gesture towards the window, which was already covered completely with little translucent drops of water.

"So what?", Your boyfriend shrugs carelessly, an excited gleam in his chocolate eyes. "It's not cold even", he says with a pleading tone, a pout growing on his lips.

Unfortunately, you could never say no to your boyfriend's big puppy eyes and pouty lips, especially when he was so close to you, close enough to count all the sparks in his eyes.

"I'm so gonna regret this", you sigh after another second of staring at each other, but you can't help but smile when Tae breaks into a huge boxy grin, practically reaching from ear to ear.

"Come on!", Taehyung grabs your arm, intertwining your fingers tightly as he grabs a nearby jacket, slinging the thick leather over your shoulders before unlocking the door, laughing gleefully at the sound of the rain hitting the walls of your building.

The both of you basically race down the stairs of your building, ignoring the judgmental look of the clerk sitting behind the desk in the lobby, and open the doors, yelling out happily when you feel the water dripping down you steadily as you enter the parking lot of your building.

You shriek when Taehyung starts to run after you, the rain wetting his hair and making it stick to his forehead in dark strands, almost covering his eyes entirely and making him look almost scary when he lunges towards you, feet hitting the asphalt and making drops of water fly around.

You run, your black boots drowning in small puddles of water as you try to escape Taehyung's outstretched arms, but he catches you soon enough, grabbing you from behind and wrapping his arms around you lower stomach tightly, lifting you in the air.

You laugh loudly when he spins you around in the rain, your own hair in wet clumps against your face, but you couldn't care less, hearing Taehyung's own deep laughter by your ear.

When he lowers you down, something softens in the atmosphere around you, and you find yourself in Taehyung's arms once again, your own hands placed on his shoulders as you sway from side to side slowly, dancing to the music of an imaginary song.

Looking in Taehyung's eyes, you think you're the happiest you've ever been, even if you're completely soaked, and even a bit cold. And judging by the look in Tae's eyes, he feels the same.

"Y/N…", Taehyung's expression is hesitant when he pulls you even closer, pushing a strand of wet hair behind your hair.

Noticing the slight fear tinging his voice, you cup your boyfriend's cheek gently, slightly worried by the sudden change of his mood. "What is it?"

"I just…", another pause, and then Taehyung's looking at you once again, face just a bit more determinant than before. A deep breath. And then.

"I love you", he says, still looking into your eyes, turning his mouth to kiss the palm of your hand sweetly, and you feel your heart lurch.

You knew Taehyung was a bit scared of love, you had talked about this before, and you were willing to wait months, even years, until he'll feel comfortable enough to tell you his feelings.

Although you had known you loved him for a while now, you didn't say it, not wanting to make him feel obliged or stressed to reply in the same way. But now, you didn't hesitate for a second. In fact, it felt like a relief.

"I love you, too", you whisper, smiling so wide you think your teeth might break, before pulling Taehyung in for a deep, rain-wet kiss, your arms locking behind his nape, breathing in when Taehyung's hands slip to your thighs, lifting you up once again and twirling the two of you around, laughing when you shriek into his mouth.

"I love you. I love you.", Taehyung mumbles over and over again, pressing the words against your lips until you think they might be imprinted in your skin. And you think that even though rain is pouring on you, you're drenched with love.

Jeon Jungkook:

You smile a bit when Jungkook on the screen ducks his head, a shy smile on his face. His raised cheeks are a rosy red, his cute bunny teeth peeking out of his lips when he waves at the camera lightly, confetti falling around him like colorful snow.

You could hear Jungkook groan from his place in your lap, shaking his head against your gray sweatpants. "This is disgusting", he mumbles, covering his face with his hands while you laugh, ruffling his soft chocolate brown hair teasingly.

"You're adorable, Gguk.", you say honestly, your smile growing when Jungkook glares at you through his fingers, dark eyes squinting slightly. "But you're really bad at keeping a straight face".

You're not surprised in the least when Jungkook straightens up before you even finish the sentence, his competitive face rising once again, raising an eyebrow at you daringly. "You think you can keep a straight face longer than me?"

You snort, staring at your six-month-long boyfriend with a disbelieving face. "You really do make a competition out of everything.", you state dryly, rolling your eyes when the older shrugs, accepting your saying with a stride.

"But yeah, I do think I can stand longer than you, judging solely by this footage", you say, pointing at the TV screen, where BTS has now been switched by some other boy-band.

"Fine. Let's see who can last the longest. But no touching, just words and expressions and whatever.", Jungkook says, sitting in front of you cross-legged on the soft blue couch, wiggling his fingers cutely in his white wool socks.

"Deal. Must be hard for you not to touch me, though", you reply sassily, flinging your hair over your shoulder, a small giggle erupting your mouth at Jungkook's slightly red face.

"You're unbelievable", he mutters, trying to cover up his shyness by rolling his eyes at you. "Let's start", he says quickly.

You wipe the smile from your mouth immediately, staring straight into your lover's eyes. It's hard to do, even though you've been in much more intimate positions before.

To distract yourself from Jungkook's piercing eyes, soft and burning hot at the same time, you look at him, engraving details of him in your mind.

His slightly curly brown hair, the mole on his chin, the closeness of his eyelashes, the smudge of something, maybe flour from the two of you cooking cookies earlier, on his cheek. His soft looking mustard hoodie and his black sweatpants. The little hole in the sock on his left foot.

It seems like forever, with the two of you making faces at each other and throwing private jokes that only the two of you know of. Jungkook is hilarious, you must admit, certainly funnier than you, but you really want to win for once.

After a while, Jungkook looks slightly less confident, probably expecting you to lose a lot sooner, and he's obviously running out of ideas, his dark eyebrows furrowed over his eyes as he thinks of more ways to take you by surprise.

There's a small smirk on his face, one that tells you he has an idea, and it's most likely bad news, and then he's saying: "I love you".

You don't even try to keep a straight face, your mouth falling open on it's own accord, and Jungkook's cheering loudly like the little shit he is, a proud smile in his face while you continue to gape at him, still frozen in your spot.

"I told you I can-", Jungkook's words get stuck when you jump on him, pushing him down to lie on the sofa as you lie on top of him, your palms resting against his cheeks.

"Did you mean it?", You whisper, not even caring how crazy you sound as you stare into Kook's wide eyes, and you're sure he can feel your heartbeat through his shirt, loud and fast like lightning.

Jungkook's eyes soften then, almost like slowly melting chocolate, and he leans upwards until your noses are brushing gently, his eyes still locked with yours. "Of course I did, baby. I would never tell you that just for a stupid game."

And then you're kissing, and you don't even care that you just lost, and that after this sweet moment Jungkook will probably tease you for years to come about the face you made and how you lost at your own bet, because Jungkook's lips are soft, gentle yet firm, and his hand slides into your hair, tugging you even closer to him while tangling your legs together, until it's hard to see where he starts and you end.

After a while, when you're in Jungkook's embrace, listening to his soft humming in your ear, his mouth pressed to the top of your head so you feel the words of the song mouthed against you, you can't help but whine.

"You're such a cheat", you pout, making Jungkook laugh at the sudden comment, looking down at you with a fond look in his eyes and a soft smile gracing his lips. "I would've won, you know".

Jungkook chuckles, but much to your surprise, doesn't bicker with you like he usually does, instead choosing to press a sweet peck to your cheek, lips grazing your skin lovingly.

"Are you mad?", He asks teasingly, his grin growing wider when you snuggle deeper into his arms, pressing a peck to jaw, just because you can. "No".

[peter-x-harley-cat]

15 Things Harley Learned About Peter Paker

YES, still thirty-five minutes left. (I really liked writing this and I want to expand on it, but let’s see what y’all think.)

WC: 1556

Summary: There’s a new kid in Rose Hill and Harley tries to learn all he can about him.

Prompt: Rose Hill, Tennessee

There was a new kid in Rose Hill. 

Now, normally Harley didn’t get caught up in the normal gossip that everyone in this small town was so inclined to, but even he couldn’t help but be intrigued. Two weeks before the second semester started, he learned three things about the new kid. 

1:   He came from New York City. 

2:   He was living with his aunt. 

3:   He was Harley’s age. 

No matter how much he dug around and bribed and persuaded, that’s all he could get about him. 

A week before the semester started, though, he learned three more things.

4:   He was really cute. 

5:   He was really smart. 

6:   He was (suspected to be) bisexual. 

Number four was discovered when he walked into the garage Harley worked at and Harley lost all motor skills. 

Number five was learned when Harley talked to while his boss was talking to his aunt. 

Number five was discovered when Harley worked on the car and found the pride flag. 

***

Harley had been fixing the car in record time when he heard a bang come from somewhere in the shop. He slid out from under the vehicle to see a boy with light brown hair and wide hazel eyes. He was nearly submerged in the hoodie he was wearing and he had an embarrassed look on his face. Harley gaped at him.

“Uh, sorry?”, the boy offered, showing a small smile. Harley had to physically shake himself to get a response.

“Um, no problem”, he assured, standing up.”What can I help you with?”

“Oh, my aunt is already talking to the mechanic, I was just looking around”, the boy said.

Harley raised an eyebrow. “You shouldn’t go walking around in here. Lots of dangerous equipment.”

The boy smirked at him. “Brake lathes and strut compressors are nothing I haven’t handled before. Talk to me when you’re handling Digoxin and Tabon in large quantities.”

“Ok, first of all, you can’t compare chemicals to machinery”, Harled argued. “Second of all, why would a high schooler be handling those chemicals?”

The boy just shrugged. “I had a pretty good internship back in New York.”

“Shame you had to leave it, then”, Harley said and immediately regretted it when the boy’s grin dipped into a frown. He was trying to find a way to fix it when his phone buzzed.

“I have to go”, the boy said, Harley probably imagining the disappointment in his voice. He looked up at Harley and smiled and Harley momentarily forgot everything. “See you around.”

Harley waved awkwardly as he left before his boss called him to bring the car into the shop. As he was pulling it in, he noticed a bisexual flag sticker on the dash. Huh.

***

The first day back to school, two more things were added to Harley’s ever-growing list of facts. 

7:    His name was Peter Parker. 

8:   He stands up for others. 

Number seven occurred when he walked into Harley’s first period, effectively knocking Harley’s routine off-kilter. 

Number eight happened at the end of the school day when he and a bunch of guys encountered them in the courtyard.

***

“Class, I’d like to introduce you to Peter Parker.”

Harley’s head shot up at that and, yep, it was the cute guy from a week ago. The boy--Peter--turned to face the class, what seemed to be his usual smile on his face. He looked all glowy and half the girls in the class were looking at him like they wanted to kiss him senseless. The idea made Harley feel weird.

Harley seemed to have missed the part where Peter was introducing himself because suddenly the brunette was sitting at the desk next to him and flashing him a smile. Harley had a hard time focusing on History after that.

He found that almost all his classes were with Peter, seeing as they were both already at least college level. And the boy sat next to Harley in every single one, not that Harley minded. He was walking out of the school when Peter ran up to him. 

“So, you got anything planned for the robotics project?”, he asked. Harley smiled at him from the side of his eye and was about to answer when he was stopped in his tracks. Literally.

He looked up from the hand on his chest to see the captain of the baseball team and a few of his yes-men standing in front of him.

“Careful around Keener, Parker”, the captain said, still looking at Harley. “His queerness might rub off on you.”

Harley rolled his eyes and was about to make a sarcastic comment that would undoubtedly get a fist swung in his direction, but Peter spoke up first.

“Thanks, but I’m afraid your warning came too late”, He said, stepping slightly in front of Harley and giving the group a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I started identifying as bisexual in seventh grade.”

The boys looked disgusted and backed up a bit. They looked like they were about to insult them, so Harley cut them off.

“Look, I’m sure whatever homophobic thing you’re going to say is very enlightening and original, but we have a robotics project to ace”, with that, he grabbed Peter’s hand and started pulling him toward his house. 

***

The next five things Harley learned about Peter came over the weeks that they spent together.

9:   He had two best friends named Ned and MJ.

10:  He preferred Star Wars to Star Trek.

11:   Before moving to Rose Hill, he had never left Brooklyn.

12:   He planned on going to NYU for college.

           In turn, Harley told Peter a lot about himself. He told him about his sister Diana, how he had started working at the machine shop, how he had been outed in sixth grade, and how he planned on going to MIT. They spent most of their waking hours together, so many that people started to think they were dating.

“Why don’t we?”, Peter had muttered when Harley had commented on it. Harley had gaped at him.

“What?”

Peter had flushed deeply and ran off, saying something about talking to a teacher. Harley had felt slightly disappointed as he ran away, but he forgot about the interaction when he had to take a test next period. They didn’t talk about it. 

They talked about everything else, though, which led to his thirteenth thing on his list:

13:   Peter’s hands were warm.

***

The two boys had been sitting on the roof of Harley’s shed. They had been watching the stars since Peter had off-handily commented that he had never been stargazing without immense amounts of light pollution. Harley had been determined to rectify that. They had been laying there in silence for a while when Peter spoke up.

“What happened to your dad?”

Harley sucked in a breath before sighing it all out. “He left. When I was seven.”

“I’m sorry”, he said. Harley listened for the undertone of pity, but it never came.

“What happened to your parents?”, Harley eventually got up the courage to ask.

Peter was quiet for a while and Harley was afraid he had overstepped when he said, “They died. Car accident, about a year ago.”

“I’m sorry”, Harley repeated softly. Peter didn’t say anything, but he felt a hand touch his. Harley grabbed it and Peter slowly intertwined their fingers. 

They laid there until the sun started to rise, hands intertwined and hearts beating in sync.

***

It was almost the end of the school year by the time Harley learned his two final things. They had spent five months together, even spending spring break working in Harley’s shed. They had just gotten done with state testing and they were at Peter’s Aunt’s house. When they got to his room, Peter promptly fell into his bed and screamed into the pillow. Harley could understand.

Harley threw his bag down and jumped into the bed beside him, half landing on the other boy.

“Wanna watch Star Wars?”, Harley asked, staring up at the ceiling. It was almost summer and the heat would make it hard to spend hours in his shed or the repair shop. He was drinking in all the air-conditioned air he could.    

Peter shook his head before turning toward Harley. Harley let his head fall to the side and the two just watched each other. 

“Hey, Harley?”, Peter whispered. 

“Hmm?”

“Will you kiss me?”

Harley didn’t know if it was the heat shutting down his cognitive function, the state testing turning his brain to mush or the five months they had been dancing around each other, but he wasn’t surprised by the question. Instead of answering, though, he just leaned in and pressed his lips to Peter’s.

Harley had imagined kissing Peter countless of times, but this was nothing like that. He’d thought of fireworks and shooting stars, but that wasn’t them. It was the feeling you got when a broken car rumbled back to life, of talking all through the night, of watching the sunrise because they were both working instead of sleeping. It was two broken pieces coming together to form a complete whole.

The two things Harley learned about Peter that day was as follows:

14:   He was Harley’s soulmate.   

15:   He was a really good kisser

[dramaticskeleton]

Chapter 4: Weekend

Fancy:

In my 25 years, I’ve had one boyfriend, who turned out to be a grade A psychopath. I’ve had countless one-night stands since him. Some guys I’ve seen twice, or even three times. If anyone had told me a year ago that I’d be with the same person for five months, I’d say they were crazy. I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I didn’t want that. I didn’t need that.

Yet here is Freddy, who has become my exclusive partner. How the hell does something like this happen? Maybe it was because he made me breakfast that first morning. Or because he called me asking for a second night. And then a third. And a sixth. There was something about him that made me want more. Some impulse had told me to ask him to stay with me and I felt elated when he had actually come. Somewhere along the lines, our little fling had become something different and I’m not entirely sure it’s a bad thing.

I look at him now, sipping his tea, the steam rising up into his face. His hair falls into his eyes and I resist the urge to reach across the table and brush it out of the way. I have to resist doing a lot of things to him when we’re in public. I want to touch him all over. But it’s not just sexual. I want to kiss his cute upturned nose, hold his hand, and listen to him speak. God, if he could just talk to me for hours at a time, I’d be happy.

“Can I ask you something serious?” I ask, suddenly shy. He turns his vivid blue eyes to me, sparkling with amusement.

“Are you capable of being serious?”

I kick him under the table. “Shut up.”

“Ask away.”

“Do you like this?” I wave to the air between us. “What we’ve got going on?”

“Yeah, I think it’s good.”

“Do you want to take it further?”

Freddy bites his bottom lip before saying, “How do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve met my sisters. You’ve met my cousin. We’ve only seen each other for the last five months. I’m assuming.” I give him a look as if to confirm. He nods his head. “Is it safe for me to call you my boyfriend now?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Do you want to?”

“Well, I can’t very well call you my one-night stand forever, can I?”

He looks so uncomfortable that I’m afraid I’ve ruined things by asking. Maybe it would have been better to leave things as they were, without putting a label on them. I twirl the mug in my hands, waiting for him to respond.

“The last time I was that serious with a girl, it didn’t end well.”

“What happened?”

Freddy shrugs. “We were engaged.”

I gape at him. Of all things he could have said, that is the last thing I expected. “How is that not ending well? Isn’t that the goal?”

He gives me a withering look. “Well, we obviously didn’t get married, did we?”

“Sorry. Why not?”

“After I gave her the ring, she wouldn’t stop talking about our life together, and getting a house, and children.”

“As one does when they’re about to get married.”

The corner of Freddy’s lip twitches into a sad smile. “I realized I wasn’t ready for it. Not really. I thought I was, but I couldn’t stop thinking about…” he pauses, chewing on the inside of his mouth. He hesitates to continue. I reach for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I just wasn’t ready to settle down yet. So I left her.”

“As simple as that?”

“Last time I talked to her was the night before I left. As far as I know, she’s still in France, so I can’t go back there. “

“Wait, did you tell her you were leaving?”

Freddy smirks. “No.”

“And you haven’t talked to her since?”

“Nope.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “You’re literally the worst kind of person.”

He watches me with a calculating gaze. “You still wanna call me your boyfriend?”

I think about it for a minute. Obviously he’s got commitment issues and there is a good chance he’ll do the same to me. And given my growing feelings for him, I don’t think I’d be able to handle that. But at the same time, I think even a few more months with him would be better than ending things now. Call me masochistic.

“It’s kind of hot,” I say finally. “A young, tortured, angsty soul. It’s the new thing.”

Freddy makes a face. “I’m 27.”

“A baby. I’ll call you my boyfriend as long as you promise not to ask me to marry you and I won’t talk about a future with you beyond nightclubs and dinner. Maybe breakfast. That seems to be the problem. Easy fix.”

He laughs, and the deep sound sends a shiver throughout my body. It sounds heavenly. “Okay,” he says, “I can agree to that.”

“However, I do have one question about our immediate future that I must know the answer to.”

“Does it involve you being pregnant?”

My eyes widen. “Absolutely not!”

“Then shoot.” He gives me an indulgent grin.

“Will you go to Christmas dinner with me?”

Freddy freezes as he lifts his cup to his lips again. He sets the mug down again slowly, watching me carefully. His mouth curls into a half smile. “That’s basically a proposal.”

I blush. “I mean, that was never in our bargain.”

“Fair.”

“But really, will you?”

“Why do you want to go? I thought you hated your parents.”

I fiddle with my fingers, running them along the rim of the mug, playing with the spoon, looking anywhere but at him. Why did I want to go? My parents had kicked me out of their home seven years ago when I had made the ultimate decision to pursue my own path, not theirs. I had always resented them for it. They were my parents; they were supposed to support me and help me, the same as they did my sisters. But I think of Mercy and Grace, who had been there for me even after I spent years raging at them when we were younger. They were always helping clean me up after I started going to clubs and fucking around. If they can bear to forgive me my mistakes, maybe I could do the same.

I look at Freddy, who’s still staring at me. I lick my lips, thinking of my words carefully. “I’ve been thinking about what you said in October. How I’ve got to forgive Mam and Da before I can go back to them. And I think it’s time I did. It’s just bad if I keep resenting her if she wants to put things to right. She’s trying to make an effort and I need to do the same. And I… I want to see my parents.” I blink back the tears that start to well up.

Freddy nods once. “Of course I’ll go with you.”

I give him a watery smile. “You’ll have to dress up in something better than jeans and a white tee.”

He rolls his eyes in response. “Do I have to wear a tie?” he asks with a smile.

I pretend to think about it. “I think you can leave it off.”

~~~~~

When we get home, I run up to my room to change. I had convinced Freddy to go to La Dame Rouge tonight and I needed to look good. Even if I wasn’t trying to score a date for the night, it would still be fun to dress up. We hadn’t been to a club in weeks. Another testament to how much our relationship had changed.

I clean my face and apply new makeup, giving my eyes a dark and sultry look. I choose a violently red lipstick to go with it. The combination is delectable, if I do say so myself. I move to my closet, picking a short black dress with long sleeves and my thigh high boots. I grin at my reflection. I would have the boys dropping at my feet, and I’d have the pleasure of turning them down. Call me a tease.

I make my way downstairs, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen. I find Freddy and Oliver standing unusually close together.

“Don’t,” Oliver is saying. I clear my throat and he looks at me over his shoulder. “Hi, Cici.”

Freddy looks around him and gives me a small smile. “You look gorgeous,” he says with a wink. I blush with delight.

Oliver snorts as he moves back to the table. “You look like a stripper.”

I take the seat across from him. He looks up from his phone, raising a brow. “I’m wearing far too much clothing for that,” I tell him. He makes a noise and rolls his eyes.

“Where are you two off to tonight?”

I turn around to look at Freddy. “I’m taking Freddy to La Dame Rouge.”

“Oh, that’s a good one.”

Freddy shoots a curious glance between the two of us. “What makes it so special?”

“It’s only the best club in Oxford!” I squeal. “It’s got the best music and the best drinks.”

“Not to mention,” Oliver adds, “The people. They either dress nice, or they dress like sluts. There’s no in between. It’s always interesting to see what people show up in.”

“Oh, that sounds… fun.”

I get up and sidle next to Freddy, planting a kiss on his cheek. “We’re going to have so much fun. Go on, get changed then.”

He smirks at me. “You’re dressed nice, so does that make me the slut in this relationship?”

I giggle and push him towards the stairs. Sitting back down, I find Oliver watching me closely.

“S,o it’s officially a relationship now?”

“Yeah, I asked him earlier, at the cafe.”

“Oh, you asked him?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Yes, is that a problem?”  

“No, not at all,” Oliver shakes his head, frowning. “It’s nice to see you… settling. I was getting worried about you for a while there. I’m glad you found someone.”

I smile lightly. “Freddy’s a good guy. He makes me feel happy again. Truly happy.”

“Good.” I know he means it, even if he sounds lackluster about it. Oliver spent four years watching over me. I know the last two have been as hard on him as they have been on me and watching me spiral out of control and not being able to do anything about it must have killed him. I’m a bit ashamed, to be honest. But Oliver has been patient and understanding of it all, making sure I don’t fall too far. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for him.  

I give him a sly grin. “Now it’s your turn to find someone.”

“This house is crowded enough with three people.”

“One more person won’t add too much.”

“You’d be surprised what four adults in one house are capable of.”

“Come with us tonight. You haven’t been with anyone in months! Not since Meghan.”

Oliver gives me a look with thinly veiled annoyance. “Your concern about my sex life is appreciated but unnecessary, thanks.”

“Come on,” I whine. “Just come to have fun then. When was the last time you weren’t working?”

Oliver just shrugs. “I’ve had a lot of clients recently. “

I look at him, taking in all of his features. His hair looks like he’s run his fingers through them hundreds of times just in the last hour. I note the bags under his eyes, and his gaze is dull. “You’re working too much. You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m serious, come relax a bit with us tonight. For like, two hours. You can afford that, can’t you?”

“Why are you being so persistent?”

“I want to hang out with my cousin. Is that such a bad thing? I feel like I haven’t actually seen you in a while. Not since Freddy arrived.” I stop, a sudden suspicion clouding my mind. “You don’t like him.”

Oliver blinks at me. “He’s fine.”

“You’ve been avoiding us.”

“I haven’t.”

“What’s wrong with him then?”

“Nothing, there’s nothing wrong with him.”

I’d be inclined to believe him if it weren’t for the shifty look he gives me. “What were you talking about before I came down? You told him not to do something.”

“I was just telling him not to hurt you, is all.”

I roll my eyes. “You are such a terrible liar.”

Oliver shrugs his shoulders, looking down at his hands. “He looks like someone I used to know.”

“What, like an old boyfriend or something?”

He rubs his face and leans back in his chair. “What? No!”

My eyes flare wide. “He was, wasn’t he? Oh my god, I’m sleeping with your old flame, this is so weird.”

He stiffens, his eyes shut.

“Oliver!” I hiss, kicking at him.

Oliver runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “God, you’re incorrigible. Not everything is a drama like that. He’s just someone I went to school with.”

“Did you have thoughts about him in school?”

He glares. “Stop it.”

I smile a bit. “Jokes aside, was he a good person back then?”

“Yeah, he was decent. You couldn’t have found a better person to be with.”

I give Oliver a grin. “Fine, so you’re not avoiding Freddy. You don’t hate him. You’ve got no excuse not to come to the club tonight.”

“God, are we back to this? Okay, look, I’ll meet you at the club, okay? I just have to finish one last thing and then I’ll go. I promise.” He holds up his pinky finger.

I smile widely, taking it in my own. “You can’t break this.”

“I know the rules.” He glares at me for a second before pulling his hand back. “How are your sisters?”

I lift my shoulder nonchalantly. “Fine. I think Mercy’s pregnant.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I dunno, she looks fatter.”

Oliver spits his tea back into his mug, laughing. “What a horrible thing to say about your sister!”

“What? It’s a good thing! She’s fat because she’s pregnant. That’s good!”

“You can’t just call people fat, Cici!”

I pout, crossing my arms. “It’s not like I said it to her face.”

“Fucking good!”

A comfortable silence falls between us as Oliver finishes his tea. When he gets up to leave, he mumbles something about having to finish work and starts to walk out of the kitchen. As he reaches the stairs, I blurt out,

“Mam asked me to Christmas dinner.”

Oliver turns slowly and regards me with worry in his eyes. “Are you going?”

I nod. “I asked Freddy to come with me, because I don’t think I can do it alone, but I’m gonna go.”

Something like pain flashes across his face, so fast I wonder if I really saw it, before he says, “I’m glad.”

“What do I get them? I can’t show up empty handed.”

He shrugs and smiles at me before turning to leave. “Draw them something.”

I think of my drawing supplies, lying around to rot in my room.  I haven’t touched them in nearly two years but maybe… maybe I could pick them up again. I could make a make a family portrait, something for both my parents and my sisters to enjoy. It will take me a while, since I’m so out of practice, but it’s a good time to start practicing. I’ll start tomorrow.

~~~~~

Freddy opted to match my black with black, wearing a tight fitted shirt and dark jeans. Maybe less dressed up than me, but I was okay with that. We have a quick smoke before going inside, the beat of the music loud enough to be felt as we lean against the walls of the building. I take in the site of Freddy standing in front of me, almost blending in with the shadows. He’s got his shoulders hunched against the cold as he puffs on the cigarette. His hair is brushed off to the side, making his face fully visible. He cuts a striking figure, dark and mysterious.

“You would make a good villain, I think,” I say to him. “You’ve got the right look.”

“I suppose that’s a compliment.”

“I’ve always liked the villain best.”

Freddy smirks and moves closer to me, pressing our bodies together. “The bad guy never gets the girl though.”

“Have you ever seen the women my age with novels? They, myself included, would give their right hand to be with the bad guy.”

“How about I give you my right hand instead?” He slips his hand down my back, landing on my ass and gives it a squeeze. I shriek in surprise, giving him a playful shove. His voice is sensual as he whispers in my ear, “I can do other things with it too.”

“Do you think of anything other than sex?”

He huffs a laugh and leans down. I can taste the nicotine on his breath as he kisses me. I let him into my mouth when he asks, running his tongue along my lips. It’s an effort not to melt as he explores me. I use the wall to support me. I start to grind against him, but he holds my hips in place. He starts to deepen the kiss, bringing his hands up to my face, but I pull away slightly. I’m panting a little bit as I say,

“Are you going to take me right on the street?”

“It’s called voyeurism,” he answers lazily, but he backs off. The smoke curls around his face as he takes a drag and exhales, and then he says, “I’ve been thinking about Oliver. What’s his story?”

I give him a look through half closed eyes. “Should I be jealous that you were thinking about my cousin while kissing me?” I laugh at his face. I continue, “You ought to know. Oliver said you guys were friends in school.”

Freddy’s face falls into a bemused expression. “Did he?”

“Oof, clearly not that good of friends. Don’t tell him you don’t remember him; he won’t take it kindly.”

He shakes head vigorously. “I don’t recall much past the last year, to be honest. So, tell me about this friend of mine.”

I laugh, resting my shoulder against the wall. “Well, he went to Goldsmiths’, obviously. Then he did a tour of Europe with a friend, but he ended up finishing it alone. He never said why, but I think it was a partner that left him.”

“That’s rough,” Freddy said, unusually soft.

“Yeah, he doesn’t talk about it much though, so I never got full details about what happened. And then his uncle on his dad’s side died a year later and left the house to him in his will.”

“Oh, is that where the gorgeous house comes from?”

“Yeah, it was lucky. I mean, not lucky that his uncle died, of course, but the house is a nice touch. He and I started talking again after I started living with my sister. I was looking for a new place to stay and he offered to let me live with him, so I took it up. I figured, a nice house, one of my favorite cousins, an artist like me. It was the perfect environment. And we’ve been here for four years now.” I smile at Freddy. “It’s been lovely. We had a rough patch about two years ago, but Oliver has always been there for me. He’s always cared about me.”

Freddy mumbles something under his breath that I don’t catch, but he’s got a smile on his face. “What’s he do?”

“He’s an interior designer. And I was talking to him earlier and he said he has a lot of clients right now, so he’s been busy. He hasn’t been avoiding you and he doesn’t hate you, in case you were worried.”

He shrugs. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Well, he thinks you’re great, and great for me, so you’ve got the Oliver seal of approval.”

“Wonderful, do I get a prize?”

I point to myself and waggle my eyebrows suggestively. Freddy laughs, dropping his cigarette butt and stamping it out with his foot. “Are you done?” he asks, pointing to the one in my hand. I let it fall to the ground too and slip my arm into his.

“Are you actually going to dance with me this time?”

“I don’t dance.”

“You did that first night,” I say, leaning into him. “And you were quite good too, as I recall.”

He shakes his head. “That was an exception. Besides, I like watching you seduce your way across the dance floor and then come back to me. Makes it look like I don’t even have to try hard to get you.”

I give him a light shove, but he pulls me back under his arm as we walk to the door. The man standing out front gives me a friendly nod.

“Hello Jordin,” I greet him.

“Haven’t seen you around in a while, Fancy,” he says.

“I found a new form of entertainment,” I respond. He gives Freddy a quick once over and hums approvingly.

“And what a fine form that is. You two enjoy your night.” Jordin waves us in.

The music hits us as soon as we walk through the doors. It slams into our eardrums with a steady deep bass beat and the lights flash in time with it. I can see the dance floor is already crowded. I’m getting excited already. I look at Freddy.

“Are you sure you won’t dance with me?”

He gives me a little push in the direction of the crowd. “Go, I’ll get us some drinks.”

I run to the floor and mingle with the people moving to the music. I don’t know what it is about dancing, but it lets me forget my world for a minute. Someone puts their hands on my hips and I let them move me in time with them. I don’t think about work, or my parents, or Christmas. It’s just me, the music, and this one other person. I turn around, coming face to face with a pretty blond. She gives me a smile as the tune changes and suddenly we’re throwing our hands in the air, laughing as people bump into us.

“You’re really pretty!” she shouts at me over the noise. Her words slur a bit.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I reply.

“Do you wanna get a drink?”

I look over my shoulder, catching Freddy’s eye. I point to him. “I’ve got a date!”

The girl follows my finger and her eyes get wide. “Damn girl, that’s fair. I’d pick him, too.”

I move around people and on them. One guy tries to kiss me. Months ago, my first reaction would be to draw him off to the side with a flirtatious grin and convince him to take me home. But I ward him off with a finger and a shake of my head. After what feels like forever, I make my way off the floor, finding Freddy sitting in a lounge chaise by a window. He gives me an easy smile and holds out a glass to me. I take it from him and slide into his lap.

“Are you having fun, sitting in the corner alone?”

“I’ll have you know I’ve had at least four girls come up to me and try to get me to leave with them. It’s been entertaining. How are you doing?”

“My feet are killing me,” I say, running my hands through my hair. “I didn’t think my shoes through at all. But it’s been fun. I wish you would join me.”

I pout at Freddy, but he just shakes his head, smiling. I curl my feet up onto the chaise, taking a sip of my drink as I lean into his chest. It’s a rum and coke, my favorite. A little wave of pleasure spreads through me as Freddy runs his hand along my back. For a while, we’re content to just sit there, watching everyone else. I turn to ask him something and notice he’s playing with his necklace, a little coin with a symbol on it.

“What does it mean?” I ask, nodding to the chain. Freddy instantly stops fiddling with it and tucks it back under his shirt. He looks almost embarrassed.

“It’s just something stupid.”

I fish it out again, rolling the coin around my fingers. “I won’t laugh.”

He shifts uncomfortably under me. “It stands for love. A friend gave it to me years ago.”

I raise an eyebrow. “A friend, or a friend?”

“Someone very close to me.”

I drop the necklace. “Are you still close to them?” Freddy shakes his head silently. “Why do you wear it then?”

He shrugs weakly. “It’s sentimental. He meant a lot to me back then.”

I brush away the pang of jealousy that creeps into my heart as his words sink in. “He?”

Freddy blanches, looking like he wished he hadn’t said anything, but it’s out there now. I stare at him until he responds. He won’t look me in the eye.

“Yes, he,” Freddy finally says. “I used to have a boyfriend when I was in school. Is that going to be a problem?”

“No, no, I’ve got nothing against it. It just surprised me. Was it a real relationship or just an experimental one?”

He looks a bit sad as he reminisces. “It was real. It was perfect. But then I made a mistake and I left him. I haven’t seen him since.”

I use a finger to turn his face towards me, staring into his eyes. His pupils are large, making his eyes look dark in the lighting of the club. I kiss him gently on the lips. “Everyone makes mistakes, Freddy.”

“Mine seem to be exceptionally stupid.”

I hesitate before asking, “Would you go back to him? If you saw him again, I mean?”

Freddy gives me a glance out of the corner of his eye and snorts. “That’s an unfair question for my girlfriend to be asking me.”

“I’m not trying to start anything. I’m just curious. If it was that perfect, would you go back?”

“It wouldn’t be the same. A lot has happened since then, a lot of things I’m not proud of.”

“I mean, if things could be the way they were before you left.” I pause, then say quietly, “If I could go back to my ex when we were sixteen, I would. Back when things were good between us and everything seemed like it would work out. When things were good, they were really good.  I always wonder what would have happened if nothing had changed and we were still that happy couple. How different would my life be?”

He’s quiet for a moment as he chews on his lip. “That’s the problem with ‘What ifs’, isn’t it? You get lost in the wondering. I constantly think about it. What if I hadn’t left. What if I’d listened to him, trusted him? I’d give anything to go back to that day and change what I did. But it’s no use wishing for something that can’t happen.”

I nod, resting my head against his shoulder. “As horrible as things get, I try to think about where I am now, and how I wouldn’t be where I am if those things hadn’t happened. It used to be shitty and I hated it. But I’m starting to like where I’m at now.” My hand bunches his shirt. He covers it with his own, kissing the top of my head.

I’m blissfully aware of Freddy’s arm around my body when I notice Ollie pushing his way through the crowd. I lift my head and start to smile at him, but it dies on my lips as I note his panicked expression.

“Cici,” he says when he gets closer. “We need to leave.”

I lift my head slightly, frowning. “What do you mean? You just got here.”

“Trust me, we have to go. Come on.”

I snuggle back into Freddy’s arms. “You promised you’d come out with us. You can’t just come for a minute and then leave.”

Oliver reaches to grab my shoulder but before he can touch me, I hear it. My name.

“Oh, Fancy!”

[amongwriters-archive]

11/11/11 tag game —

I was tagged by @alalawrites ; thank u!

❥ one — favorite line(s) you’ve ever written.

- one of my favourites rn is “her head ended where my heart began.”

❥ two — how did you come up with your story?

- okay, let me shortly remember....

flight of a warrior

well flight of a warrior was just elise manifesting in my head and me starting to get curious. who is that girl? why does she look so different? what’s her story? and so I started to tell it.

kingdom of thorns and arrows

this is the oldest story I have dhsjjs. while i was in sixth grade, my friends and i were obsessed with books and were talking about how to pronounce names. we talked about ‘gideon’ back then and one of them pronounced it very weird and wrong hdjdjd. and I was like ‘your pronunciation sounds more like a last name’ and then we started to daydream about a story we wanted to write together.

now we don’t talk anymore, not very much at least. they lost their interest for books and writing while mine just grew stronger and a few weeks ago I was like ‘I need to write that story’ and asked them if they were okay with it. they are and now I am completely changing everything sjskks

fallen like a god

actually, it wasn’t planned to be a greek mythology story. i wanted to write about shapeshifters and season spirits. and it should still be in the world of foaw. weird.

the land of crows and nightmares

tbh, I don’t quite remember. i was visiting my sister in the city she studied and lived in and we were walking around and then it hit me. it was quite inspired by frederic the great and time travel coz i love those books.

queen of night and soul

ouhhh my first lgbtq idea! i was really into spirit guides and yin yang at that time and it’s first name was “how the moon fell for the ocean” yes I watched atla at that time don’t look @ me. anyways, I came to chap one and it was shit so I threw off the idea and got the rest from a dream / walk home from school.

❥ three — do you often get interesting dreams that you then use to create a story and/or a character?

- well, I mostly have nightmares for some reason but if I get good dreams, they are affecting my stories. book two of kotaa (blood like water) is completely dream inspired.

❥ four — tell us 5 trivias about your WIP(s).

- i just say five trivias about foaw coz I am just at planning the rest :

1. never underestimate someone. just don’t.

2. scars have a meaning even if it’s isn’t obvious at first.

3. habits are the worst.

4. names !!!

5. think about everything. even about the things which might not be helpful.

❥ five — do you read fanfiction? if yes, link some of your favorites!

- i actually don’t read fanfics. I used to read a lot mlb ff but I don’t anymore. maybe this teen!lock fanfic ?

❥ six — favorite original character ever.

- EVER? uhhhh hard one, gosh. i think it’s cloelia. like i love this chick

❥ seven — do you remember the first character you’ve ever created? if yes, describe them the best you can.

- when I was younger i have always drawn little princesses and mermaids on papers and cut them out, gave them a name and played with them ignoring the thousand dolls i have. huh, I think those were my first, but like really created? i think it would be max gidgeon. he was an elf, had blue eyes and blonde hair, he had a sister and strange dreams hdjsjs

❥ eight — name 3 characters (not yours) that you love and 3 that you hate.

- love, hard : maxon shreave, cardan greenbriar, rhysand

hate, not hard at all: bella swan, emerson (hourglass), laurel (wings)

❥ nine — do you draw? If yes, do you draw mostly original characters/settings/etc. or fanart?

- yes i draw! mostly nature and original characters. or just random characters, for fun

❥ ten — how long does it take you to outline your novel?

- well... considering what u mean with outline. my outline is normally the first draft hdjsjs, and i am currently redoing that outline / first draft and I am at 2/5 hdjsjs. the very first outline /draft took me like two to four lunch breaks at school ( 90 to 180 min)

the outline / draft now takes much longer coz i am outlining every chapter kind of

❥ eleven — how long does it take you to write your novel?

- well, I haven’t finished one but i am quite good in time i guess! I am actively writing since january and have 53k words rn! i am planning 130k words tho but I think I could manage to finish that till end of next year! (if you think about it, in seven months more than 50k and the year isn’t over i think it’s realistic!)

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

my questions :

describe your wip(s) in one word, one city and one colour.

what music genre fits your wip(s) best?

who would be the faceclaims for your main characters?

the best place to write? (not at your home?)

a place in a fictional wold you would live most likely?

choose an animal to be the gatekeeper to your world. why this animal in particular?

when would you like to have started writing? with what age?

the zodiac signs of your original characters.

a personality/ physical trait you give every of your character for some reason. (for example : everyone is loyal / has tanned skin)

deep dark writing fear?

describe your favourite character (not original) in one renaissance painting.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

tagging —

@farrradays @storyteller-kaelo @dancingwithwind @vandorens @theforgottencoolkid @omgbrekkerkaz @mybookisbad @disoriented-writer @vviciously @omniawrites @sorroways

[balmacedapascal-archive]

THE ADVENTURES OF OLIVIA DELLAMONICA & VINNIE MALZAHN

Olivia Dellamonica first met Vinnie Malzahn when he came home with Ty after school one day. They were six and she was four. She’d started going to preschool at their church but she still wasn’t happy that Ty got to got to school and she couldn’t go with him. And she definitely wasn’t happy that he was bringing home some other kid bc Ty was her best friend and why did they need someone else? Especially someone who was loud and always bouncing around and eating the green popsicles that were supposed to be hers. He couldn’t stick around, he just couldn’t.

By the time Olivia was seven she’d resigned herself to the fact that there was no getting rid of Vinnie. Him and Ty had been stuck together like glue since kindergarten and there was no end in sight. She didn’t like it but she’d learned to put up with him. And by put up with, really it just meant she’d gotten big enough where she could shove him off their couch when she got really annoyed. The boys didn’t play with her much, something about girls having cooties and not wanting to play with dolls or do stupid girl stuff. Plus they were nine and didn’t want to do “baby stuff”. They’d still play with her every now and then when her mom would make them. And Jonathan would still play with her most of the time even if he wanted to chase after the older boys instead. She had the advantage there. They wouldn’t play with her because she was a girl but Jonathan was way littler than her so he definitely didn’t get to play with them.

By the time her 10th birthday comes, she doesn’t try to chase after Ty and Vinnie anymore. They’re in seventh grade now and it might as well be a different planet. Besides she has her own friends from school - Cassie, Hayley, Lauren - and she doesn’t need her big brother to be her best friend. But the boys are still at her party because it’s at the pool and her mom got an ice cream cake and of course Vinnie has to throw her into the pool cackling like an idiot. She gets him back and dumps a soda on him and then it’s war but that’s not new. She’s been fighting with Vinnie for years. But now her friends giggle and say how cute he is and that is definitely new and she doesn’t like it. She tells her mom Vinnie definitely doesn’t get to come next year

She’s eleven when she wakes up to the sound of their father yelling after midnight, sneaking downstairs to see Ty and Vinnie on the couch, looking more serious than she’s ever seen either of them. She doesn’t catch all of it - something about sneaking out and trespassing and the couple beers missing from the fridge - before her mom spots her and sends her back to bed but the next morning Ty’s grounded and Vinnie’s not allowed to come over for three weeks. It’s the quietest three weeks in their house that she can ever remember and it’s the first time since he started kindergarten that Ty spends his days willingly with her and Jonathan. She won’t say it but she’s glad when the punishment is over and Vinnie comes bursting back into their house like a hurricane of energy. She will deny it with every breath she has but she kinda sorta missed him.

The summer after eighth grade is kind of a big deal and she’s so excited to finally be starting high school and she’s gone up two cup sizes while all her friends are still waiting for the boob fairy to come and everything is great. Except now boys are noticing her and she’s noticing them and Ty’s noticing all the noticing and he is not okay with it. And normally she can handle that but this time he’s convinced Vinnie “never been serious a day in my life” Malzahn to back him up and she’s lucky she can talk to a boy without one of them scaring the poor guy off. There’s also the fact that sometime after 4th of July, when their parents let them have a big party and there were high schoolers there and Vinnie wound up getting hit with some water balloons and stripping off his shirt without a care in the world, she started having the occasional dream of pg-13 romance starring the boy in question. It’s only happened like twice (okay five times but whatever) but it makes being around his loud and obnoxious self a little awkward. So she does her best to avoid him and Ty, for multiple reasons and before school starts she finally manages to get her first kiss despite their efforts to keep her away from boys. It’s wet and sloppy and kind of disappointing but it still counts for something.

Freshman years comes and goes and it’s filled with the usual ups and down of being in high school. Most people start to identify her as Ty’s little sister which she isn’t too excited about but it could be worse. Despite being back in the same school building she doesn’t see a ton of the guys but every now and then they pop up. Ty usually swoops in when she doesn’t really want him to, protective big brother mode activating. Vinnie occasionally finds her during lunch, being loud and obnoxious and stealing food off her plate until she shoved him away and he just laughs and her friends all still think he’s cute which is honestly more annoying than it was four years ago. She goes to all their baseball games like she has been for years and Vinnie still insists on giving her gross sweaty hugs afterwards when he smells like BO and dirt and she still hates it which is probably why he still does it.

The one moment where she actually gets along with Vinnie is at the spring formal. She’s there with a sophomore named Tommy who’s on the basketball team and is super cute but winds up spending more time drinking spiked punch and joking around with his teammates and she’s only danced with her girlfriends until Vinnie shows up at their table during some slow 80s ballad and pulls her onto the dance floor before she can protest. He’d come stag after him and the girl he’d been dating broke up last month so she just assumes it’s a pity dance cuz he’s bored while Ty’s with his date. But it’s still nice and he smells like Old Spice and he’s actually pretty good at dancing which she’ll tease him about later and she tries not to blush when he spins her around and dips her and she doesn’t run away when the song ends and a new one starts. They wind up dancing together for four songs before he disappears to talk with Ty about something.

Jonathan hits his growth spurt when he turns thirteen and she’s suddenly the shortest one in the house. She spends the entire summer hearing every short person nickname in the book and by the time schools starting back up its a miracle she hasn’t murdered Vinnie.

It’s senior year for the boys and they’re a little too busy to really pop into her life at school but she still sees them. Sees Ty stressing about keeping his grades up and doing good when college scouts come and making sure the team dominates this season. He goes out of town one weekend with their parents for a college visit and it’s the first time she gets to stay home alone. Well not alone. Jonathan’s there (she refuses to call him Dells, even if all his friends think it’s cool) and Vinnie shows up halfway through Saturday, bored and looking for entertainment. It’s one of the only times she’s hung out with Vinnie without Ty there as a buffer. They watch a ton of movies and order pizza and eventually wind up getting ice cream before going back home and falling asleep on the couch halfway through Field of Dreams and wake up in the morning in a tangled mess of legs and arms and she can still smell his cologne (still Old Spice) six hours later when her parents get home and he’s gone back to his house. Neither of them ever mention it, not to each other and not to Ty but she doesn’t shove him away as often when he crowds her on family movie nights.

Her and her mom both cry at graduation along with Mrs. Malzahn and she says it’s because she’s just so relieved that Ty actually graduated and that it’s a miracle he didn’t get kicked out because of one of Vinnie’s hijinks but really she’s a little sad she won’t have them around anymore. Jonathan will be starting his freshman year in the fall and she’s excited to have him around and get to be the big sibling for a change. But she’s still gonna miss her idiots.

The boys leave for college and the house is just too quiet. Like unbearably quiet. Like she didn’t realize how much noise they made and how much she would hate the silence once they were gone. She gets more involved with extracurriculars at school, finding stuff to keep her busy and out of the house and away from all the quiet. She pretends not to be thrilled when they come home for a long weekend and drive her a little crazy with all their stories and antics and she hugs them both longer before they leave on Sunday

Throughout junior and senior year she dates a couple different guys and it’s nice. Just nice. Nobody gets her blood boiling, nobody gives her those big romcom feels, nobody drives her crazy. And it doesn’t have anything to do with the dumbass who comes home and steals her food and tells her stories about college life and flops on top of her when she’s on the couch. It definitely has nothing to do with Vinnie fucking Malzahn. Not at all.

Senior prom is a Big Deal™️ and she spends a couple weeks searching for the perfect dress with her girlfriends - the same girls who’ve stuck with her since sixth grade and they’re trying to just have fun and not think about them all going their separate ways in the fall. She just wants to have fun and dance and enjoy herself. And she’s got a date who’s one of the better looking guys in their grade and has been a friend for the last couple years. And it’s going to be great. Except then he calls up about twenty minutes before he’s supposed to pick her up with the news that his ex is back in town and they’ve been talking and they’re gonna give it another go and he hopes she understands that he has to cancel for prom. Which leaves her in a pretty blue prom dress and no date. Her mother says go anyways, have fun. Ty has to be talked down from going and taking a baseball bat to the guys front bumper. Vinnie disappears and she doesn’t even notice until she’s trying to figure out how to unpin her hair and suddenly she’s being told to stop what she’s doing and get her butt in the car and Vinnie’s back in a suit and has corsage and she doesn’t really understand what’s happening but her mom snaps a couple pictures of them in those classic prom poses before he all but drags her out to the car and heads to the dance

They argue in the parking lot once she finally finds her voice “Vinnie, I’m not walking in there with your dumb ass as a pity date!” “For the love of god it’s NOT a pity date, Liv!” “Yes it is” “Jesus woman why are you so damn stubborn?!” “Fuck off!” “Just get out of the car! We’re going in, we’re dancing, it’s going to be a grand fucking time and you will thank me one day” “no!” “Do not make me throw you over my shoulder woman! You know I can! I’ve done it before!” “I swear to god Vin, I will murder you”

They eventually get inside and she has to explain a couple times the change in plans and eventually she calms down and remembers how much fun she can have with Vinnie when he’s not picking on her and he dances with her on just about every single song for an hour straight until she’s out of breath and laughing and she tries not to think about how he actually looks good with his hair a little messy and his shirt unbuttoned and the sleeves rolled up, making her snort and laugh as he attempts to do the running man in some weird dance off between him and Cassie’s boyfriend. They stay until the very end when she’s ditched her heels and has lost a handful of bobby-pins from too much dancing and not enough hairspray.

They both just sit in the car when they finally get back to her house. The lights are off and she knows it’s only because she’s with Vinnie. If she’d actually gone with her original date both her dad and Ty would be waiting up for her like a couple of crazy people. She’s almost too tired to move, shoes somewhere on the floor and Vinnie’s suit jacket swallowing her smaller frame up. He kills the engine and they both just sit there and it’s quiet and she doesn’t know why because god knows he never shuts up

“Vin, why’d - why’d you go with me?” More silence as his fingers tap a random little tune against the steering wheel. “Vinnie?” “Did you have a good time?” “Wh-yeah… yeah it was great Vin. But -“ “you deserved a good time. Gotta go big for senior prom. You only got the one shot.” “You did it twice.” “Yeah well I didn’t get it right my first time” “Vin?” “You look really beautiful Liv…” she doesn’t know what to say because this is the sweetest he’s ever been to her, first time she’s gotten a compliment that didn’t have a teasing tone or a smart ass remark following and she just looks at him like she doesn’t know what’s happening

And then he kisses her like she started dreaming about when she was a kid and it’s all the fireworks she’d hoped for when she was 14 and then some and when he goes to pull back she chases him for more. They don’t leave the car for another hour.

Ty is furious. The one person he trusted to never touch his baby sister is now cuddled up with her on the couch during movie night, holding her hand and making flirty comments. Jonathan finds it a little weird and a little gross but for the most part he doesn’t care. Mrs. Dellamonica isn’t surprised in the slightest and just keeps adding an extra place setting at the family dinners like she’s been doing for Vinnie for years.

[cantbehandled-ever]

thanks @satans-helper for tagging me in this get to know me tag! i’ve never done one this long, so here’s a bunch of info that no one wanted to know about me lmao

1. What’s your middle name?

- Lynn, which i hateee

2. how old are you?

- 19

3. when is your birthday?

- november 17th

4. what is your zodiac sign?

- scorpio sun, libra rising, pisces moon. i have two fucking water signs which explains why i’m so emotional

5. what’s your favorite shade of green?

- forest/emerald green

6. what’s your lucky number?

- 8

7. do you have any pets?

- yes! i have three dogs and i’d die for them

8. where are you from?

- originally chicago, but now i live in orlando

9. how tall are you?

- 5’9

10. what shoe size are you?

- 10 in women’s, 8.5 in men’s

11. how many pairs of shoes do you own?

- 10

12. what was your last dream about?

- i dreamt that i ran off to live in a cave and raised goldfish as my past time, so i’m really jealous that i didn’t actually do that

13. what talents do you have?

- i can bs my way through stuff, because if i really need to, i can come off as decently eloquent. also i can sing kinda well, nothing amazing

14. are you psychic in any way?

- i’ve had dreams that ended up happening exactly like i dreamed them

15. favorite song?

- i could not tell you, but lately i’ve been listening to Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac several times a day

16. Favorite movie?

- the sixth sense (i just really like m. night shyamalan movies)

17. who would be our ideal partner?

- someone with a great sense of humor and i’m pretty anxious, so someone who is good at keeping calm

18. do you want children?

- nope lmao, but i do want to be an aunt. i like kids, but like only when i can give them back to their parents when i get tired of them lol

19. do you want a church wedding?

- not really, if i did end up having one, it would be bc the building was beautiful it would have nothing to do with it being a church

20. are you religious?

- no, long and sad history with religion. i do consider myself to be pretty spiritual and learning more about stuff like that is really interesting to me

21. have you ever been to a hospital?

- yep, last year over spring break i had to get my gallbladder removed:)))))))) my surgeon took pics of my gallbladder though and it’s super sick and gross looking so at least i have that

22. have you ever gotten into trouble with the law?

- nope

23. have you ever met any celebrities?

- i met andy mientus, but he’s not like a huge celebrity

24. baths or showers?

- showers, baths are gross

25. what color socks are you wearing?

- white and purple

26. have you ever been famous?

- not really, but when i was in fifth grade i submitted a poem i wrote to a publishing company and they put it into a book, so my elementary school made a big deal out of it, so i was like a local celebrity amongst ten year olds for a week lol

27. would you like to be a big celebrity?

- only if it was for music, because that’s the only way i could see myself being happy with it. however, i’d much rather just have my own niche audience and be super personal with them, but still make enough money that i could afford to have that be my only career

28. what type of music do you like?

- mainly rock and funkier music, but i can pretty much listen to anything

29. have you ever been skinny dipping?

- no, because i hate my body lol

30. how many pillows do you sleep with?

- 4

31. what position do you usually sleep in?

- i’m a stomach sleeper

32. how big is your house?

- i live in a tiny apartment

33. what do you typically have for breakfast?

- usually just coffee, but sometimes i’ll have a breakfast bar

34. have you ever fired a gun?

- yes and i hated it, it’s way too scary to hold something like that

35. have you ever tried archery?

- yeah! we had it as a unit in my middle school gym class and i wasn’t super horrible at it!

36. favorite clean word?

- indubitably

37. favorite swear word?

- it’s more of a statement but i say “fuck off” all the time

38. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

- 29 when i was studying for finals last year

39. do you have any scars?

- several

40. have you ever had a secret admirer?

- yeah when i was seven

41. are you a good liar?

- when i need to be

42. are you a good judge of character?

- no i try to let everyone prove themselves, but mainly just makes me feel dumb when they screw me over

43. can you do any other accents other than your own?

- i don’t really have a midwestern accent anymore, but i can do one to make fun of my family members

44. do you have a strong accent?

- no

45. what’s your favorite accents?

- south african

46. what’s your personality type?

- advocate

47. what’s your most expensive piece of clothing?

- my doc martens were like $135 and i treat them like babies

48. can you curl your tongue?

- yep

49. are you an innie or an outie?

- bellybutton??? an innie but that’s super weird

50. left or right handed?

- right handed

51. are you scared of spiders?

- oh absolutely

52. favorite food?

- sushi

53. favorite foreign food?

- sushi or mexican food

54. are you a clean or messy person?

- both, i keep my room super messy, but any area of the apartment that i share with other people i keep spotless

55. most used phrase?

- “oh absolutely”

56. most used word?

- fuck

57. how long does it take you to get ready?

- roughly about an hour and 15 minutes

58. do you have much of an ego?

- depends, but in general i wouldn’t say so

59. do you suck or bite lollipops?

- suck

60. do you talk to yourself?

- who doesn’t?????

61. do you sing to yourself?

- all the time

62. are you good singer?

- i’m fine, nothing impressive

63. biggest fear?

- being kidnapped and also i’m really afraid of strange men, i can’t bring myself to trust both of them

64. are you a gossip?

- to my roommates

65. best dramatic movie you’ve ever seen?

- i really don’t know, i don’t watch a ton of dramas, mainly comedy

66. do you like long or short hair?

- on girls i like both, on guys i prefer long

67. can you name all 50 states in america?

- yeah if you gave me a few minutes

68. favorite school subject?

- biology

69. extrovert or introvert?

- introvert

70. have you ever been scuba diving?

- nope

71. what makes you nervous?

- i have anxiety :)))) so everything

72. are you scared of the dark?

- only if i’m in a strange place

73. do you correct people when they make mistakes?

- depends on my relationship with them

74. are you ticklish?

- holy shit yeah

75. have you ever started a rumor?

- nope

76. have you ever been in a position of authority?

- not one that mattered

77. have you drank underage?

- yes, i literally have more alcohol than food in my fridge rn

78. have you ever done drugs?

- yep, like three days ago

79. who was your first real crush?

- a kid named conner when i was in sixth grade

80. how many piercings do you have?

- four

81. can you roll your r’s?

- nope

82. how fast can you type?

- moderately fast

83. how fast can you run?

- not fast at all

84. what color is your hair?

- auburn

85. what color are your eyes?

- brown

86. what are you allergic to?

- shellfish

87. do you keep a journal?

- nope but i have a finsta which i use for the same reason

88. what do your parents do?

- my mom is a nurse and my dad used to be a firefighter

89. do you like your age?

- i mean i don’t like how close i am to being a real adult, but it’s fine

90. what makes you angry?

- lots of stuff

91. do you like your name?

- nope, i think it’s stupid

92. have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they?

- nope, no children thanks

93. do you want a boy or a girl child?

- neither

94. what are your strengths?

- i’m a good problem solver and i have a good work ethic

95.what are your weaknesses?

- i am physically weak and wayyyyy too emotional

96. how did you get your name?

- my mom watched steel magnolias in college and decided she was going to name her first daughter shelby

97. were your ancestors royalty?

- i doubt it, but on the off chance, pls send money i’m broke :))))))

98. do you have any scars?

- yes

99. color of your bedspread?

- white

100. color of your room?

- yellow

im tagging: @blackbluemichael @flowrxchild @rosecolouredash @calumsdemons @ghostofcth @what-now-lucas

[purplesurveys]

522

When's the last time you ran? I don’t know, I usually walk-run but I don’t fully run. The last time I did the former was last Wednesday when I was horribly late for my anthropology class. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? I do; I have a couple. What are you dreading right now? Going to mass in a couple of hours BLECK. Do you celebrate 420? I don’t, but I celebrate the day after which is my birthday lmao. 420 was cute like 8 years ago but I mostly don’t care about it now.

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep at night? Nope, mostly because I always end the day late but have to start really early (my classes this week start at either 7 or 8:30 AM). I get seven hours at most, and that’s when I’m lucky enough to be in bed by 10.

If anyone came to your house on your "lazy day" what would ya'll do? I’d be pissed they came to the house without permission? then be forced to spend the day with them anyway because I hate rejecting people. Who last grabbed your ass? My girlfriend, hehehe. Have you ever been on your school's track team? Yes in like fifth and sixth grade. I ran fast but wasn’t a fan of the sport itself cos it made me very tired, so I shifted to table tennis not long after. Do you own a pair of converse? I did. Red high top ones. I think my mom threw them out already though. Do you eat raw cookie dough? I rarely get the chance to bake cookies or watch someone else do it, but when I do I always hover over the dough. No amount of “that’s raw egg!” warnings could stop me, I think hahaha. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? Never; they’ve always worked for me. Don't you hate it when radios ruin good songs by playing them over and over? Tbh this is what happens with a lot of Ariana Grande songs. I like them on their own, but radio stations overplaying them ruins it for me. Do you watch Trading Spaces? I have never heard of this show(?) before. How do you eat oreos? Like how I’d eat every other biscuit. I was never a fan of the whole twist-lick thing, plus I’m lactose intolerant so I could never dunk. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Back in the days of Yahoo Messenger, sure. Are you cocky? Maybe about like one or two things, but I generally avoid being That person. Could you live without a computer? NO. I need a laptop to do research, do my readings, take surveys, watch movies, etc. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No. Filipinos don’t do that. Who or what sleeps with you? A couple of pillows. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? I didn’t find out; I just never believed in him cos I never saw him. I started doubting right when I was 5 because my mom kept saying he’s gonna come at midnight, but he never did. How many phones are in your house, that includes cell phones? We have two landlines and five phones. What do you do when you're sad? It depends, because I have different kinds of sad. Sometimes I’ll nap it off, sometimes I’ll cry it out, sometimes I’ll go back to a hobby of mine like coloring. Do you know anyone born in the year 1985? I don’t think so. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My girlfriend, hahaha. Family would ask for favors almost immediately so that’s a no-no for me. Last time you saw your best friend? I saw Angela last Thursday and I drove Gabie home yesterday. Are you in high school? Nah, I’m like four years past it. What jewelry are you wearing? No jewelry. Is anyone on your bad side now? Bad groupmates from my communication research class last semester. When did reality become tv? Not sure, but the Kardashians definitely influenced its popularity. What's the first thing you do when you get online? Check if there’s work to be done. When did Motley Crue become classic rock? I’m not too familiar with classic rock in general. When did Ozzy become an actor? Dude idk Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? Nope. How do you most people spell your name? Robin. Which is fine - Robyn is the less common spelling, anyway. Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? I could wear her oversized polos; but generally she’s a couple sizes larger than me, so no. Where do you work? I don’t work anywhere just yet. What are you doing tomorrow? Cramming school work, definitely. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? No? Where did that come from? Where do you draw the line? There are so many angles this could come from lmfao. Favorite name for a girl? I am suuuuper loving Olivia and Mia. Favorite boy name? At the moment, it’s Jacob. Will you keep your last name when you get married? I’d hyphenate it with my spouse’s, so technically yes. When was the last time you left your house? This morning. I just got home. Do you return your cart? Yes. Do you have a dishwasher? No, that’s not too common here and I wasn’t aware about the concept of dishwashers until I was like 13 and started having internet friends from the States. What noise do you hear? I can hear my electric fan, some birds chirping, and a couple of dogs barking in the distance. Would you survive in prison? I doubt it. Who is the youngest in the family? My brother. Road trip! Who would most likely overpack? In my family? HAHAHAHAHAHA ME. I’d usually pack like five tops, five bottoms, and too many undergarments for an overnight trip. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Sure. What's the last thing you purchased? A box of half-dozen doughnuts from Krispy Kreme to drop off for my girlfriend’s family when I drove her home last night. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? Nah. My sister will sometimes pass me load when I need it, but that’s about it. What brand are your pants right now? I just took them off but they’re from Zara. What brand is your digital camera? Stopped using an actual camera a long time ago. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? I dunno if it counts as expensive but I have Beyonce’s Heat Rush. Do you watch movies with your parents? Sometimes. Ever been to Georgie (the state)? No. What irritates you the most? Today it’s stupid drivers, but I’m irritated by a new thing every day. Are you taking college classes right now? I’m in university, so yes. Do you like sushi? I LOVE sushi; I had it for lunch today. Do you get your hair cut every month? No, I get my hair done probably like twice a year. I don’t really pay much attention to it – so long as I comb it everyday it’s fine. Do you go online everyday? Yes. I have to, or else I’ll be swamped with work.

[edeneben]

My Coming Out Story

⚠️//TRIGGER WARNINGS: Homophobia, Sexual Assault, rape, depression, self hatred, and suicide//⚠️

If you know me, you know I’m pretty flamboyant and pretty open about how the fact I’m pretty flipping queer. But I haven’t always been very happy being like this, as most other queer people also aren’t and this is basically the story of how I accepted that.

Second grade; the point and time in most people’s lives that is mainly a blur of silly bands, crayons, and story books. For me personally, it was the start of absolute hell.

So I was raised in a pretty religious family. I would end up praying before every meal, before I go to sleep, and at least three times a week at church functions. So really early on I heard a lot of really gross and disgusting things. (Not to say all religious people are bad, it’s just I was raised in a conservative republican town were Friday nights are spent at youth group by most high schoolers) so by the age of seven or eight I heard the words “faggot” and “queers” thrown around a lot and the whole “All homos deserve to burn in Hell and be stoned.” Though, I did’t really understand the concept of being gay, or love in general.

So you could sarcastically say I was off to a great start.

In elementary school we would read these short stories in these obnoxiously massive books, and one of these stories was about a hedgehog or something baking a yellow cake. As a fun activity my teacher Mrs.Blair has us bake a cake in groups of four. We didn’t pick our groups, she just kind of shoved our desks together and said “have fun.”

In my group it was two boys, a girl, and me. The two boys were kind of annoying and I basically ignored them the whole time, but the girl was a different story. I noticed that she had short, messy light brown hair, very pretty greenish eyes, and a very cute smile. I took a liking to her pretty quickly and I started sitting with her at lunch instead of with my friends. I knew I really enjoyed being around her and that I thought she was the actual prettiest person I had ever seen. Though, I didn’t get why.

Then my friends started talking about boys and crushes. I couldn’t relate to anything they were saying before but after I met the girl, I did start to relate. But I related in a different way. Everything they said about the boys they liked were how I thought about her. Wanting to hold her hand and play house with her and crap. (We all know playing house together was the way to flirt back then)

So inevitably I was like, “Oh. Why am I the only one thinking about girls? Am I weird?” And then I kind of understood I was the bad thing they talked about in church all the time. I was the evil horrid thing that didn’t have a place in being there. Which, was a horrible thing to think about.

This was when self hatred really set in. Not only did I deal with that crushing reality, but my teenage brother also started arguing with my parents a lot and hearing the fights really hurt me mentally and I started crying myself to sleep.

I was eight. None of that stuff should have been a problem, though of course it was. *** Then in third grade I started praying a lot more and I joined an after school church club thing ran by my church.

Every time we would meet, Father Michael would ask those of us who haven’t been saved to go to the back of the room and pray with him to get saved. He kind of knew something was up when I went back there every single meeting, but he never asked. Probably for the best in all honesty.

Then I was like, “Yeah okay all of the praying has to be working by now and I’m totally not a homosexual now lmao.” Which, obviously not but I pretended to like guys anyways. (Ey Tyler waddup bud, yeah that was you. Jokes on both of us were both gay now love youuuu)

The day I told everybody I totally definitely liked him was the day before he moved away so I wouldn't have to deal with it. So. Yeah. *** Fourth grade was more of the same, just sadder tbh. Oh and I got another crush on a girl named Kayla I dated twice. Almost three but let’s not get into that. ( @kayla-le-queen ) *** Fifth grade was the first time I ever said I liked girls out loud. Though I kind of lied to myself and said “ha ha I like both.” Which I didn’t, but I had convinced myself that I was slightly ‘normal.’

It’s kind of a weird story as I had just been swimming with my other religious friend in their pool and I was like “oh by the way-“ Which, describes how awkward I am perfectly.

This is also the year I started making internet friends who had the same interests and experiences as me and I was sort of getting my footing with myself. *** Nothing prepared me for the absolute shit storm that was sixth grade.

Not only did I deal with hitting puberty, drama, a new school, and the surfacing of panic attacks, I had to deal with getting outed. Yep. Let’s get into it shall we?

Sixth grade. I came out as bi to a couple of my friends and stopped going to church. Only low key though. I wasn’t looking for my entire life to be flipped upside down. My parents were casually homophobic and my peers were actively expressing that.

Still, I decided to start dating someone.

Remember my friend who I came out to in the pool? Yeah, them. I dated them.

BIG MISTAKE.

As soon as we started dating, they told everyone. I told them “no one needs to know, we should keep it private you know? For safety.” They refused to listen.

By the end of the day everyone in my grade and even some upperclassmen knew that I was bi. Though the message got messed up and everyone thought I was a lesbian. (Which made me uncomfortable because I was still mfnsjsjjd about gender and stuff) (that’s a whole other coming out that I don’t want to get into in this as the whole thing is not anywhere near over)

Then the bullying for it started happening.

I was the first “out” kid in my grade so of course I was met with a bunch of crap.

Girls in locker rooms would yell at me for looking up at all, and there was one incident were a girl decided to come up to me, grope my chest and laugh about it with her friends because, “I was just a dirty lesbo pervert who probably enjoyed it.”

Guys would say repeatedly they could make me straight and also would do similar things to what that girl is.

Did I tell my parents? No of course I didn’t. I wasn’t out and I needed it to stay that way. My dad had anger issues and he had once hit my brother out of anger. So, I didn’t really feel completely safe to be quite honest. (It’s kind of better now. He still gets angry easy but he only had one more incident and that was years ago.)

I ended up breaking up with that person because I clearly couldn’t trust them and I was very upset with them. I still blame them. *** Then seventh grade happened. As per usual things got worse.

My parents found out about my internet friends and read all of our messages and I got outed to them.

Then my parents never trusted me again and took away the one good thing I had in my life that was consistently there for me and genuinely made me happy and feel safe.

Their homophobia also worsened. They also outed me to all of their friends and family. (Thanks mom)

I also attempted suicide for the first time. My parents and friends still don’t know about that. *** Eight grade was the worst year of my life. In eighth grade I kind of realized I was ace and came out to my friends and the girl I liked at the time.

I kind of blocked out homophobia at that point. Yes it was still happening to me and it had gotten worse, but eighth grade was a blur for me.

I can’t really remember much of it.

My English teacher who was a mother figure, Mrs.Freeze, who was the first adult to accept me, died during the last two weeks of school.

As well as an extremely traumatic event happened.

I might delete this part when I upload it but if I don’t I want you all to know that this is where I’m warning that sexual assault victims might want to click away at.

I decided to go on the Washington DC trip with my school and the girl I liked went with me.

By the time we got back to the hotel, I hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours so I was asleep rather quickly.

It was four girls to a room, two to a bed. The two other girls left to hang out with their friends and it was just me left alone with the girl I liked and was out as ace to.

She took it upon herself to try to “fix” me.

I woke up while she was doing it and I eventually got her off me and escaped to the bathroom and cried.

I didn’t tell any adult on the trip and I just told a girl that I wasn’t comfortable around that girl anymore and thankfully she didn’t ask why and just switched seats on the bus with me and beds.

I still deal with trauma relating to this everyday, and I still have extreme panic attacks because of it. I lost physical trust with people for a while and I couldn’t be touched by anyone until recently.

This event also drove me to another suicide attempt.

That’s all I can say about that. Acephobia does exist and it can be extremely violent and damaging to people, so please just kindly shut up about ace discourse. *** During freshman year I was finally starting to be accepted by my parents, I came out as queer and ace officially, joined the GSA, met some more gays and life has been a bit better since then. *** My life isn’t perfect and homophobia is still a huge part of it and a lot of trauma surrounding my experience is still yet to be dealt with but I’m getting there. *** So my labels?

Queer and Ace-spec. That’s as specific as I can get I don’t know what you want from me lmao. *** Conclusion? Life does get better and eventually you will find acceptance and peace within yourself. I know you might be an extremely dark place with what looks like no chance of happiness or safety, but I promise you will get it eventually.

I love all of you and I wish you all the best in your own journeys.

Happy pride month.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💙💚💛🧡❤️