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#they should've done that last season
5x04loss · 1 year
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what is there to even say lol. rip jenny schecter, always in my heart
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months
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throughout the series of drake and josh it pretty consistently implies that josh nichols is a christian (josh peck is jewish) and in the finale of the series helen (played by yvette nicole brown, not jewish[?]) is portrayed as a practicing jew
#i dont have a problem w either of those things necessarily i just find it interesting#if i had to guess. drake and josh was a mainstream that didnt wanna touch on religion generally#but josh was kind of a dork and usually when josh's religious beliefs are implied it is in dorkish ways#such as praying and thanking the lord after he has his first kiss.#but since dan schneider is jewish perhaps he wanted to make helen have a jewish wedding in the finale?#not that there needs to be a reason. but u do notice occasional jewish-related jokes in d&j but none of them are what you could call#offensive. in good faith that is. 'eric is a pacifist' 'i thought he was jewish?' like come on#text post#i have been rewatching drake and josh recently and i have had so many thoughts#im almost done. i just have left that stupid dance episode that they premiered last for the stupid reason#of a special dance-themed premiere night in fall 2007. they premiered the third episode of icarly and a new zoey 101 on the same night#which i think is so stupid. they should've aired really big shrimp last. it messed w my understanding of the series at the time lol#i remember not really knowing that the show was ENDING. like i knew icarly was starting & miranda was doing that#i thought really big shrimp was like just another special like go hollywood.#and then like two days later they premiered the helicopter episode for some reason#and i was like why is drake not famous in this. he just had a number 1 song in a superbowl commercial#and then a month later the dance one. which. if anything is satisfying about that as a final episode it's just that#that unnamed girl from the blues brothers episode who is obsessed w drake shows up again and congratulates them#and the very final line of the series is 'who is she?' because. because really who IS she?#that's a funny enough throwback to wrap things up with i suppose#drake and josh wasn't a highly serialized show so i can see how they could air those after the intended finale and act like it didn't matte#but i have to tell you it did fuck with my brain a bit at the time. lol. i still think of those episodes as having 'happened' after#and on paramount plus those episodes are still placed after really big shrimp. the injustice#but thats kinda messy. what a weird way to end such an influential and popular sitcom#season 4 had a few lowpoints while still also having some VERY solid episodes.#idk. ill have to continue my series review another time im getting way too longwinded here#helen dubois is jewish
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july-19th-club · 1 month
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dont know how i feel about the pauline episode god. it's so this thing and another thing and then wham bam thank you maam she's stabbed a man and her marriage is over . okay . what did we achieve here? aside from adding another angst instigator on for a man who is already overly riddled with it? she's like 'i've changed! i'm a different person! i need this!' like okay . are we suggesting that little girls who grow up with prostitute moms can't ever be anything but the lowest in society? are we suggesting the same of little boys who grow up in the same situation? is this all merely about aramis thinking this, whether or not the material does? because the idea of pauline being a vehicle for his emotional journey rather than a character in her own right, one who functions as a sort of more hopeful sibling, is fucking lame lmao. & of course it is fruitless to ask these questions about a show that really did not put that amount of thought into it. but what am i here for if not in-depth analysis and critical reading of things that didn't put that much thought into it
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okay season over i'm logging out now ✌️ i'll be back when liga f restarts so don't unfollow me. or do if you want idk i don't control your life. ens veiem
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todareistodo · 7 months
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sheffield utd are not even trying like i would not even play the second half i would just call it a day and go home LMAO
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fliesforeyes · 3 days
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spencer reid x fem! reader where he kisses reader for the first time while they’re watching a movie or something and he’s all nervous and wonders if he should’ve done that or not 😖😶🫢
okayyy just a cute lil one-shot i got you babe 🤭
i imagine this as early seasons spencer, maybe season 2? pre episode 15...
it would happen during one of your weekly movie nights (which happened far less than weekly due to spencer reid's job, but he tried his best to carve out as much time for you in his life). as of late you had changed from sitting on the opposite side of the couch, legs up beside him on the cushion, to sitting upright next to spencer, your body brushing against him with any movement. it made it difficult for him to focus on the movie, which usually didn't happen. you overwhelmed him in the best way possible.
it really took a lot for spencer to build up the courage to do anything. his palms were sweaty, he didn't eat a single piece of popcorn for the last 40 minutes of the movie so his lips weren't buttery, his fingers tangled in his lap. he waited until the movie was over, listened with a soft smile as you gave your opinion in a long rant after you paused the credits.
usually his thoughts followed soon after yours, the ideas still fresh in his mind, but spencer hadn't started talking yet.
"are you okay, spence?" you asked, body turning to face him a little more.
he nodded feverishly, something you knew he only did when he was nervous. "yeah i'm okay, don't worry," he smiled.
spencer held eye contact for a second in the silence that hung over the room before lifting his hand and gently holding the side of your face, his head tilting and eyes closing as he leaned in to kiss you. it was small, he let the kiss linger for a moment and so did you, before he pulled back.
"i'm sorry- i should've asked first, you just looked really beautiful and i mean you're more than your looks don't get me wrong-" his mind was running faster than it usually did, overwhelmed with concern that he made you uncomfortable, but it looked like maybe you wanted to kiss him too?
"spencer. youre okay, stop worrying," you interrupted him before he could keep rambling, a smile fixing on your face as you watched the cogs turn in his head. "i liked it."
his eyes shot to yours, he had been looking at the ground in his worry. "you did? that was okay?"
"yes," you nodded.
"so can i do it again?"
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taesanrot · 4 months
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[moved on] fwb!taesan x f!reader | 0.7k words shorter drabble inspired by the song moved on by laundry day!
my heart is saying things my mind just cannot speak ... i don't know what is wrong with me
taesan was an avoidant. he was good at ignoring things, pushing away the elephant in the room and pretending he doesn't care, that it couldn't bother him any less. he was good at ignoring the way your glances at him grew longer and fonder. he was even better at ignoring the way your doe eyes and soft hair made his heart race and stomach turn.
i'm clinging onto you just like i cannot breathe ... i don't know what is wrong with me
he knew it hurt you and he hated himself for it. you two had agreed to keep things between the two of you casual, seeking comfort in each others' touch in the late hours of the weekend and barely speaking the days in between. at the time it started, taesan's fleeting presence filled you up, bringing you out of the emotional trenches school had sent you into.
maybе I'm the problem saying this is alright ... am i coming on too strong?
that was your first mistake -- you should've known you were setting yourself up for failure right then and there. letting the raven haired boy light up your day with a simple stroke of his hand against your cheek; your heart never stood a chance against the curse of time.
please make sure you call, just to say it's alright ... am i waking you all night?
as the days passed, it was taesan who became the reason you ached on late nights. staring at your still unread message, you wondered why things were like this. the boy's actions twisted your mind in ways he'd never know. at times like this your mind flashed back to the way he was after the sun had set, when it was just the two of you in your own world.
we get together but things might just be better if we moved on
the way his warm lips felt against your neck, the way his fingers burned into your skin, it was all imprinted on your mind. the moments you two shared felt so intimate, and they replayed in your mind over and over like a broken record.
turning around under your heavy blanket for the tenth time that night, you screwed your eyes shut as more and more memories invaded your mind and dreams.
the two of you had been watching a movie, your head laying on his chest and his hand rubbing your shoulder softly. eyes trained on your laptop, you almost missed taesan’s face in your peripheral vision, peeking over at you. he had a habit of doing this — you always assumed he was simply checking if you were awake. you always stayed silent, just smiling and blinking delicately at him.
“i’m awake, san” you don’t know what made you blurt out defensively, but taesan shook his head softly at your words.
“i know, i was just looking at you.” your stomach still turns at the thought of the smile he was adorning as those words fell from his pretty lips.
his fond smile only looked wicked to you now, his words singing your skin and burning your resolve. how could he say all of that without feeling a single thing? you thought to yourself bitterly.
am i giving you up? ... changing seasons, can't believe it now i'm leaving you
sometimes taesan too thought he was insane. it stung to think about the sweet things he'd said or done to you -- it scared him how he meant it all completely. the boy didn't know what was wrong with him, why he couldn't just let the two of you be happy and togehter. he felt like a speed bump in the road, stubbornly and selfishly guarding his heart at the expense of your fragile mind.
hindsight is 20/20, and sitting alone in his cold and you-less bed, taesan knows what he should've done and said to you, what was staring him in the face this whole time. he was utterly in love with you and he didn't even realize.
bitterly, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and reads over your last text to him again.
[2:47 a.m]
y/n: i can't keep doing this anymore. i'm sorry, let's stop seeing each other.
you have been blocked by this number!
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carolmunson · 1 year
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wake up slow | barista!steve harrington
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entry for my fall frenzy requests this request comes in from @superblysubpar: 'there's a scenario with bookstore / library date AND a dialogue prompt that says "what are you reading?"' with steve harrington summary: it's 1990. you're on the opening shift at the bookstore you work at, only to be surprised at a newcomer claiming to be up for an interview for the open barista position in the cafe at the back. sort of put off to start, it's no surprise when things start to bloom over time, and i'm not talking about coffee grounds. tl;dr carol writes a mini romcom.
tw: minors dni, there's nothing too out of whack in this one but i still don't want minors in here. reader is a little sassy but also like, pretty normal overall.
That damn key jams every time it rains -- doesn't help that you left your umbrella at home. Doesn't help that the 'light mist' turned into a heavy downpour the closer you made it to the book store. Doesn't help that you had to park a street over because of street cleaning and had to walk a block in the rain. Now the damn key.
"Come on," you grumble, jiggling an wiggling to no avail. Insert, r-insert, slight tilt to the right, jiggle, pull out a little, turn a little left and then -- nothing. You take the key out only for it to fall to the ground with a fairy like tinkling.
"Come -- the fuck -- on," you nearly growl under your breath while your coat gets heavier and heavier with rain, hood soaking through and dripping water onto your face. You bend down to get the key with a sigh meant for people with back pain, coming back up again to see the coffee bar manager on the other side of the glass door. He chuckles, salt and pepper beared thick over his chin and cheeks. Ruddy skin beams red even in the cool grey light of the morning, 30 years a butcher who pivoted into coffee when he turned fifty and had a really good knack for it.
"Easy morning?"
"Does it look like one, Carl?" you ask, stepping in when he opens the door. He laughs again, a hearty belly laugh that might as well have transported him into a Santa suit in December. "What happened to you?" he asks, following you into the back room where you start putting your stuff in your cubby. You switch out your wet sneakers and socks for the platform loafers and knee highs in your bag. Now that the fall weathers hit, it's all corduroy and knit sweaters, circle skirts and tall socks. If you're going to be on your fifth year working at an idyllic bookstore, you might as well look the part.
"Weather app lied, street cleaning, forgot an umbrella," you shrug, "Just another manic Monday, y'know?" "I know," he nods, "Gimme one second." Carl comes back with a white paper cup and black lid that makes you smile from the inside out, "Is that what I think it is?" "Isn't it always?" he smiles, "I got it ready the second I saw you on the schedule. Caramel latte, hint of cinnamon. Since its -- ya know, fall officially, I put a little maple in there, too." "You spoil me," you sigh, taking the cup from him and letting the warmth radiate through your hands.
"I do," he nods, "But, that latte was the last of my regular milk so I need to run out and grab a few gallons before we open up. You okay to be hangin' out by yourself?"
You nod, of course you're okay to be hanging out by yourself. You take the first sip, letting the caramel flood your tongue. The maple is a good addition. You're about to tell Carl to add this to the seasonal menu but he's already out the break room door with his coat before you can. You hear the jingle of the bell and the lock of the door and eventually the silence settling into the store around you.
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You start to re-organize the window display which should've been done last night but 'last night you' said that 'this morning you' could handle it. You wish you could punch last night you in the face, but this is what you get for taking an assistant manager position.
You stack the back to school reads next to your knees where you're sat on them. The dust billows when you move them, making you sneeze with each turn of your head. You rub at your eyes, realizing at that very moment that the mascara you put on this morning has now definitely smudged -- you can't even find the emotional capacity to check considering the store opens in forty five minutes. You wipe down the display shelves, letting the oak gleam under the spot lights. The color is a warm reminder of the cozy moments to come the way that they do this time of year. As you start separating the 'cozy reads' from your 'spooky reads' in the pile on the other side of your knees you hear a knocking at the door --that's not very like Carl to forget his key.
You look over your shoulder, not seeing Carl at all, and if it is, he had some kind of Seventeen Again magic happen to him in that time at the store. You stand up, wiping off your knees and straightening your skirt before getting to the door where the rapping continues against the glass. "We aren't open yet!" you call out.
"M'here for Carl!" you hear, muffled through the panes. "For the barista spot?" you yell back. The guy nods under his hood, the rain picking up in heavy sheets. You sigh, unlocking the door and letting him in. "Carl's not here, he ran out to get some more milk but um, you're welcome to wait in the break room if you want," you explain, wiping a palm over another display through the main hallway and wiping the dust off on your hip. "Thanks," he says, hood coming down to reveal a head full of thick chestnut hair. A gold ring shines on the the hand that runs through it, looks like a family crest type, right on his middle finger.
"I'm Steve," he says with a smile, hand now outstretched to take yours. You look at it and then at him, finally taking in the sight before you. Prominent straight nose, warm amber eyes, lips that definitely use chapstick regularly. He has a nice smile, the kind you read about in the romance novels in the back of the store, the kind people write about.
You take his hand and introduce yourself, he has a business major handshake and you only know that because you dated a handful of them back in college. You try to stifle a chuckle but it comes out airily out of your nose.
"Something funny?" he asks when you both let go. "No, no, sorry, I just thought of something from the other day," you shake your head, "Don't worry about it." He nods, taking off his coat and closing his umbrella following your lead to the back, "It's a cute place."
"Yeah, it's nice in the morning," you nod, "I normally close but -- doing a favor for a key holder today; so you have the pleasure of seeing the troll of the store in her natural habitat."
"What?"
"Nothing -- nevermind," you shake your head, cheeks burning with a wave of embarrassment when you look back and notice that he's genuinely very handsome. You get to the break room, pointing out the spare cubby where he can hang his coat and umbrella. He's in a sweater you swear you've seen on the Cosby Show -- dark green and patterned, a perfect combination of colors against his skin. It cuffs at the wrists, you can see a sliver of his white t-shirt underneath at the collar, a whisper of a gold chain tucked beneath it.
"Yeah um," you start, feeling your heart start to patter in your chest when he takes a seat at the table by the cabinets, "You can just wait here. I'll let Carl know when he comes back."
"Okay," he smiles, "Thanks."
You nod again, heading into the employee bathroom to collect yourself for a moment -- seeing your reflection. You forgot you had rubbed your eyes, masacra smudged in black smears nearly down to your cheeks. "I look insane," you whisper in horror, "Oh my fucking god."
You cover your face for a moment, trying to hide yourself from the embarrassment racking your chest. Definitely looking like the troll of the store, you silently scream into your palms, another dramatic whisper of, "I should just fucking kill myself."
Despite the humiliation, you know it's funny. This would happen to you. This hot guy would come in when your mascaras a mess and your hair is fucked up from the rain, when the weather is bad and your tights have a run, when your allergies are rampant from the dust. Of course he would!
You wet a paper towel and do your best to wipe off the smudges, happy to look a little less insane after a dab of tinted lip balm makes it onto your lips and cheeks.
When you re-emerge he's fiddling with his CD player and his over ear headphones, working on a knot in the wire. You go back over to the counter and take a sip of your forgotten latte.
"What do you drink?" he asks.
"Carl makes it special for me, it's not on the menu," you tell him over the black plastic top before taking another sip. He grins, a soft nod moving his hair with him -- so it's like that. "I didn't ask if it was on the menu. I asked what you drink," he says, leaning back in the chair. His eyes lingering on you sends a zip up your spine, wondering if he's giving you a once over or not.
"It's a caramel latte with maple and cinnamon," you tell him. His confidence both intruiges and enrages you, both making you want to tell him to get out but also learn more about this hot guy that wants to be a barista with a Wall Street handshake, "So why do you wanna work here?"
"Is this the start of my interview?" he laughs.
"No, I'm just wondering," you shrug.
"I'm back in school about twenty minutes away," he says, "Did it for a little when I was in high school -- coffee, I mean. Ice cream shop after that, video store after that. Went to school, took a break, back in it. My dad thinks having jobs like this builds y'know -- character and whatever."
"Jobs like this?" you ask, jaw tensing with annoyance.
"Like, y'know, jobs with the people," he tries to explain, pink building on his cheeks when he realizes he might've said something shitty, "They're not like bad jobs, that's not what I mean -- I mean like, y'know -- not suits kind of jobs. Regular shit."
"Regular shit," you nod, biting back what you wanna say. That gold crest ring should've been enough to tip you off, but your next question is the ace in the hole, "What're you back in school for?"
"Getting my MBA."
Of course.
"Nice," you lie, fake smiling into your next sip -- the latte going cold as your insides when you come to the conclusion that he's just some hot grade A asshole, "Well, good luck."
"Thanks," he calls out while you make your way back to the floor, "I really like your name, by the way! It suits you."
You try not to let that compliment change your mind.
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He gets the job, but you don't see him a lot. He opens an then goes to classes at night, you close most of the time -- only catching him really in the first hour of your shift and the last hour of his. You're both too busy to be finding time to talk; him with his mid-shift clean and you with your hourly sales goals and mid-day schedule re-adjustments.
But he does wave when you come in. He calls out your name when you bustle past the coffee counter and weave through the tables to get to where you need to go. It's nice of him, you guess, but the stain of him explaining that the job he's doing is just for regular people taints it for you. Maybe he thinks you're just some menial worker bee that he only knows for now, since his daddy probably has a job lined up for him once he pays through his masters degree.
Job with a suit where the bookstore will be a distant memory for him, whereas you're on a two year track to becoming the manager and likely future owner when the owners get too old to manage it. Job with a suit where he'll pass by the store and shake his head at 'how stupid it was', a 'can you believe people work there?' head toss to a coworker while he get a coffee somewhere else. Meanwhile, it's your entire life, and so are all the stories inside.
A few weeks pass and the days get a little colder, the nights starting earlier as they go. You have an opening shift that chills your bones, hugging your wool coat tight to your body while you fiddle with the key at the door, groaning at the tinkling of it hitting the concrete again.
"Rough morning?"
You look up to the door opening, seeing a pair clean white Nike Air Force 1's singaling who it is.
"It is now," you mumble, grabbing the key and bustling inside.
"Surprised to see you here," he says, following you to the back, "You're not on the schedule." "Last minute switch up, Rochelle has a christening," you say, hanging your coat in the cubby and switching out your sneakers for platfoms again.
"Oh, nice," he grins, "So why is it a rough morning? 'Cause I'm here?"
"Sorta kinda," you shrug, "Did you alread--"
"I got sales report from yesterday on the check out desk, yes," he crosses his arms, leaning against the door frame.
"And th--"
"And the inventory report, and before you ask, yes I checked that all the milk is in stock and that we aren't low on beans. I've been here for a month, honey, I know what I'm doing," he mutters.
"Gross," you pull a face at him over your shoulder, "Don't call me honey."
He shrugs with a smirk, "Rochelle likes it."
"Can you go skulk to your caffeine den and leave me alone?" you snap, "I'm trying to open a store, here."
"Skulk, huh?"
"Too big of a word for you, Harrington?"
"You're on fire this morning," he smiles, that smile they write about.
"I kinda like it," he adds before turning out of the door and back into the warm light of the store towards the coffee bar. You swallow while you watch him leave -- I kinda like it ringing in your ears and floating down to your chest where is settles in, cozy and kind.
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The reports are where he said the would be, neat and organized like he was the manager and Carl was his employee. You normally spent at least thirty minutes trying to figure out what Carl had written in chicken scratch on the forms, but Steve's sharp and elegant script was easy to read and perfectly spaced. Annoying.
Even his signature was handsome.
After you get the registers counted and ready you file the forms and mark the reports so they'll be ready for your manager when they get back in store. You check the list of what needs to be done, the chilly late October air swooping in from the cracks under the door. Your face sours while you make your way over to the coffee bar in the back, seeing Steve set up the pastry delivery in the cases on the side.
"Did you come back here to yell at me about something?" he asks, focused on the task at hand, "I got all morning."
"You didn't turn the heat on," you cross your arms, "That's like, the first thing you're supposed to do."
He scoffs quietly, shaking his head, popping back up to lean on glass of the case, "Did you read your morning report or just sit there and admire my handwriting?"
"Excuse me?" you bite back.
"Heats fucked," he shrugs, ducking back down to finishing his display, "They're sending someone to take a look at it later today."
"Whatever," you grumble, turning on your heel to go dust the front shelving and reshelf the returns from yesterday.
"Hey," he calls out, waiting for you to turn around before he continues. Your eyes catch his amber ones, sparkling with a mischief reserved for school boys who are mean to the girls they like, "You look nice today."
You look him over, sucking in your cheeks to kill the smile growing on your lips. His navy sweater hugs a bit across his chest and shoulders, giving way to billow slightly over his midsection and arms. Kahki chinos cut just at his ankles so his sneakers don't even look stupid paired with the outfit, socks just the right height to look cool and not forced. Awful.
"Yeah, you too Harrington," you agree quietly before walking away; and while you killed the smile, he was able to catch that crease in your eyes, the twitch in your shoulders. You thought that was nice, he wonders if he can make you do that again.
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You head over to the back of the cafe during your break, no windows near your designated 'break chair'. It's close enough to the fireplace that it always feels like a rainy day even when it's nice outside. Now that Carl started his shift he got your drink ready to go the moment you walked over.
"Well la-di-da," Steve cocks his head when Carl walks over to greet the customer at the register, rag in his hands wiping up the pick up counter, "Expert service and you're not even gonna tip?"
"Here's a tip: leave me alone when I'm on break," you bite. Why did he have to be so handsome? Slight pink on his cheeks from the heat of the espresso and coffee machines, the lights overhead. The heat finally works again and it's almost working too well from the small bead of sweat forming above his brow. He runs a big hand through his hair again, the same way he did when you first met him. You try to ingore the way his bicep bulges in his sleeve when his arm stretches.
His tongue runs over his teeth, settling between them for a second before looking straight at you, "Good one."
"That's what you get when you read books," you say sarcastically, "You should try it sometime."
"You should teach me," he leans over the counter, resting his chin on his palm, "Bet you're a great teacher."
You bite your tongue, pulling in your lips and squinting your eyes to keep the smile from brewing a second time. You pick up your mug and sip your latte while he crosses his arms over his chest. "Nothing this time?" he asks, waiting for you second blow. You shake your head no, occupying your mouth with the rim.
"No?" He asks, you shake your head again, somehow glued to the spot under his stare. He slings the rag over his shoulder, still looking at you. "Well I don't wanna keep you standing here," he teases, offering you a wink that is so soul crushingly charming you could just die, "Enjoy your break."
You've never turned around so quickly in your entire life.
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The following week you take another opening shift, happy to settle into the quiet of the cafe now that the morning rush of moms, dads, students, and aspiring writers have cleared out. The fire crackles just right, the leather warmed up to your body heat while the book sucks you in further an further. Thirty minutes pass when you hear a shift infront of you, the subtle squeak of leather being sat in with a soft crunch.
"What're you reading?"
You peer over the top of the spine to see Steve sat in the chair across from you, legs open wide while he leans his forearms on his knees. His long fingers slide together, gold ring shining in the light again to remind you of who he is and where he comes from. As handsome as he is today in his black henley and white t-shirt combo you'll never quite forget the fact that some MBA bro is perched in front of you like a puppy with nowhere to go.
"Sound out the cover, that should tell you," you boredly mumble before tucking back into the chair. His fingers peak over the spine, pushing the book down from the top. He pulls the leather chintz closer to yours with ease -- of course he does.
"Or you could tell me," he says with a softness you weren't ready to hear. Your chest gets warm again, creeping up your neck to your cheeks.
"It's Pride and Prejudice."
"S'that your favorite book or something?" he asks, elbow driving into his thigh so he can rest his chin on his fist.
"One of them," you shrug, "I always read it this time of year, kind of fits the mood of the season."
"Hm," he nods, like he's really listening, "What's it about?"
"Basically," you start, thinking of a way to describe it in two sentences or less, "It's like -- hm -- it's about two people, a love story. One guy is some super rich asshole and he's a jerk because the girl isn't as rich and him. And the girl isn't from the same social standing so she's a jerk because she already assumes that he's a super rich asshole. Like...I don't know, idiots in love who are too stubborn to love each other."
"Hm," he nods again, grin splitting his face, "Interesting."
"What's your favorite book?" you ask, wanting to wipe that smug grin right off his face. His dumb handsome face with that perfect sloped nose, and eyes that look like they're looking directly into you.
"I don't have one," he shrugs.
"You have to have one," you balk, "Like, even if it's one you read in school or something." "Hmm," he sits back up, leaning back in the chair with his hands resting just under his chest.
"You have to know how to read to run a business," you shrug.
"I know how to read, honey," he laughs, "I just don't have a favorite book."
"At least try," you ecourage, albiet annoyed. He taps his fingers on his diaphragm, one knee bouncing while he thinks about it. His shirt rides up just a smidge in the back, revealing a sliver of skin you didn't think you'd ever see.
"Shel Silverstein," he says finally, "Where the Sidewalk Ends."
"You didn't strike me as a poetry guy," you say, closing your book over your finger to hold your place.
"My mom went through this poetry phase -- and I'm my mother's son, so I had a poetry phase with her," he shrugs, "We wore that book out, think we had to get a second copy cause the first one was just like -- destroyed."
"Well that's...you know," you lean your head from side to side, "That's nice. It's cute."
"You'd know, right?" he smiles, that god damn smile Shel would write about in a new book. You'd bring back book burning just to throw it in the flames after it was published. He gets up, disappearing behind you for a moment and reappearing with your favorite green mug. He gingerly places it on the side table next to you.
"Compliments of the chef," he says, presenting it like a Michelin star meal.
You look at it, a perfect pour -- the cream rosetta leaf striking against the warm brown espresso. You can smell the caramel and maple already wafting off it, cinnamon sprinkled delicately on top.
"Um, thanks," you say quietly, taking the mug to your lips. He looks down at you eagerly when you take a sip, waiting for your reaction.
"Did you do something to it?" you ask before you take one.
"No I'm just -- damn, come on. I'm excited to see you try it," he sighs, "I worked hard on it."
"Fine, fine," you murmur, letting the latte flood onto your tongue. Its -- regrettably -- one of the best iterations of you've had in a while. The perfect creaminess without being too milky, enough caramel and maple without being too sweet, the espresso's bitterness cuts the sugar in just the right way to make it smooth. He knows he did it right by the way you go for a second sip without saying anything.
"I did good?" he quirks a brow.
"You did good," you nod.
"Good," he smiles, tapping the top of your chair, "'Cause Carl's putting it on the menu starting in November."
"How come?" you ask into your third sip, the steam billowing over your cheeks.
Steve lets his eyes flicker over your face slowly, offering a half shrug, "I told him to."
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November brings the first pre-season snow, not that it mattered now that your favorite drink was a regular menu item now. Caramel and maple always in stock, espresso machine always on first thing in the morning.
You open twice a week now, seeing Steve more often than not. Dropping your key became less common now that he was normally at the door when you'd get there, ready to let you in.
"Another great day, right?" he'd tease.
Now that the holidays were in full swing the bookstore was busier than ever -- sales, bundles, events. You even started carrying children's coloring books and crayons in the kid's section; a whole set up just for kids to sit and color while their parent's browsed.
The stress was getting to you, constantly checking and rechecking the end of day sales versus last year, wanting to make sure everything was on a steady incline with a nice cushion for the next. It helped that the cafe seemed to be absolutely climbing in numbers since September. More and more people wanted to spend time over there, and the more time they spent the more time they looked at books or started reading. It wasn't shocking to see people checking out at the counter with a second coffee and a new book or two in hand.
You don't want it to be true, but you're sure the new barista had a play in what makes so many people stick around. You'd see the way Steve would flirt when he took orders, how he's listen to them intently, make every customer feel like they were the only person in the room.
At least that's how he'd make you feel when he caught your gaze from over the shelving, helping find books for new patrons from the college nearby. You both started to wave at each other at each passing glance, each look caught by surprise, each accidental yearning stare.
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Mid-November greets you with a bitter chill, the very early morning doesn't even have the decency to greet with you the rising sun. It'll be atleast another half hour until then.
For the first time in a long time you don't drop the key, pushing into the store with ease. You waste no time turning the heat on, making sure the radiators bled a bit before hand. You rub your hands together while they settle in, putting your coat away in the cubby and switching out your shoes in the break room.
Opening on a Saturday morning isn't common for you, but it's the first event you've planned by yourself. A very simple read-along story telling with some kids from the neighborhood and their parents. You collected three solid winter time reads: The Mitten, The Snowy Day, and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. A solid hour of reading while the parents could peruse, or sit and watch while their kids tuned into a book instead of cartoons on Nick Jr.
Once you've given yourself the onceover for the morning you feel more confident about the upcoming next few hours. Your knit tights fit snugly over your legs, a touch sheered out with the stretch over your thighs but the pleats in your plaid maroon skirt cover that just fine, hitting just above your knees -- still covered, still sensible. Still cute enough to snag a single dad if one were to show up.
Your feet stay tucked in a pair of worn in platform mary-janes stolen from your sister's New York City closet when you went to visit her over the summer. The chunky knit sweater over the whole ensemble completes you, a spitting image of a 'caught on the street' look you saw in a Seventeen magazine that you still get delivered to you despite being well past the age group.
You thrifted the sweater with Steve in mind, it looked like something he'd wear.
Anyway.
As you set up the 'reading rug' in the cafe area you hear the familar unlocking of the door. The sun finally starting to seep in in golden shards through the panes, leaving squares of light on the wood floors and carpets below.
"Hey Carl!" you call out, "I got everything up and running for you."
You hear the keys jingle but not his smoker's cough, not his heavy steps finding their way to the cafe area. Instead you look up to see Steve with his hands on his hips, watching you struggle to move the leather chintz to the back wall as your reading chair.
"Redecorating?" he asks, looking around the cafe. Under his shearling lined aviator jacket is an open hunter green flannel you wouldn't expect to see him in, his white t-shirt underneath hugs tights to his chest and stomach. You unfortunately noticed how great of a view that is for you.
"Um," you started, looking around the room and the dissaray you seem to have made without realizing, "Why are you here?"
"Same reason your here," he says, stepping forward to shoo you away from the chair, "I'm on the payroll."
"You don't work weekends," you say, crossing your arms over your chest while he lifts the chair over the rug with a soft grunt.
"I do today," he says with a slight strain, "Where do you want this?"
"Uh," you start, "Just right in the center against the wall so everyone can see me."
"Oh, so you're reading to the kids this morning?" he laughs to himself after putting the chair down. He wipes his hands off on each other, shrugging off the jacket and holding it in one arm, "Bitter Betty is gonna entertain the young minds of Main Street?"
"Bitter Betty, huh?" you challenge, following him into the back room, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know exactly what that's supposed to mean," he shakes his head.
"I am very sweet," you tell him, a serious edge to your voice, "There are so many customer reviews saying how sweet I am."
"Sure," he nods, putting his coat away in his cubby, "I bet there are; since y'know, you're selling them something."
"I'm not just nice when I'm selling something," you say softly, arms coming protectively across your chest. A frustration bubbles in your chest while you look at him, following him back out into the cafe so you can keep getting the place ready before the families start to show up, "You think you know everything."
"I don't," he shakes his head, smiling while he checks over the machines and gets the first pot of coffee started.
"Yeah, you do. You walked in here two months ago and swear you know everything," you huff, getting the cafe back to a place of organized coziness.
"Okay," he chuckles, "Whatever you say, boss."
"You're infuriating," you mumble under your breath.
"Got that caramel latte coming right up for you, by the way," he says warmly.
Your head turns to see him watching you, he smiles, "Maybe you're a little nicer after you've had a coffee."
You smile back, unable to stop it this time.
"So that's a yes, right?" he cocks his head, fingers drumming on the counter while he watches you. That Harringtom charm pumping out at full speed.
"Y-yeah," you nod, "Whatever. You gonna go chop down a tree, Harrington? What's with the flannel?"
He looks down at his shirt and then back up at you with a soft shake of his head, "I better hurry up and get that started for you."
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The kids look up at you with starry eyes, their parents smiling along with their coffees, lattes, espressos, and pastries. The Mitten was a hit and The Snowy Day is so far showing up to be a great follow up.
You take your time to really point out the pictures and adding on to the story since all three of them are pretty short. However, you're finding that kids between two and five are pretty easy to entertain if you do enough counting and make enough sound effects. Maybe you should've been a kindergarten teacher -- or maybe not. Maybe you should just keep doing book events.
You're halfway through when you show the illustrations to the group again, listening to them ooh and ahh at all the snow.
"Did um -- Miss -- did you know -- it snowed? It snowed at my house," one of the older kids announces, arm straight up in the air.
"It snowed last week, Michael, that's right," his mom pipes up, "Daddy had to shovel outside."
"Has everyone else seen snow? Raise your hand if you've seen this much snow!" you announce in your perfect parentese, watching while the older kids and parents raise their hands. The two year olds don't really get it so they just sit there and laugh.
You look up at all the hands, an enthusiastic 'Wow!' coming out of your mouth -- but you barely hear it. Behind the hands are a set of warm amber eyes looking at you from the coffee bar, soft and gentle. Enthralled even. You swallow and lick your lips quickly before smiling, catching his smile back as you look back at the book to start again.
After each couple of pages you catch each other, the pink on his cheeks rising when he looks away -- pretending to be occupied with something else. Cleaning, organizing, resetting the espresso machine. He can tell you're flustered by the way you clear your throat whenever you start to read again.
After The Snowy Day you take a ten minute break so that the parents can take their kids to the bathroom or re-up their beverages. The tip jar is full to bursting because nobody knows how to make a single mom feel like Steve Harrington does; and husbands will pay anything to get him to leave their wives alone.
You reset your chair, making sure the books you're reading are on display for purchasing on the shelving close by in your Winter Children's Bundle for a discounted price. As the ten minutes closes up you feel a soft tap on your shoulder.
"Here," you turn around to Steve with a green mug in his hands, "It's just regular coffee this time, but -- figured you could use it."
You take it body first, reaching around for the handle only to feel his fingers brush against yours at the hand of. The soft touch isn't electric like it is in the books, it's like that but better. Warm like an oven, the gooey parts of you rising in a slow bake when you see him look down and turn away -- running that same hand through his hair on his way back to the counter.
"Thanks," you say over the chatter of parents and kids coming back to sit.
"Can I have something ready for you for your break?" he asks back.
"Surprise me," you shrug, sitting back on your chintz chair and taking the final book onto your lap. The kids cheer when they see Snoopy on the cover, a well loved favorite cartoon to finish off their morning. With the crack of the spine you can already smell the sales coming once this little event is over.
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You work through your break, ringing up and helping customer after customer on easily one of the busiest Saturday's you've seen in a while. It normally doesn't get busy like this at least for another couple of weeks.
The stress of working through lunch barely matters though because your event was a bigger success than you could've hoped for -- logging in the notes for Rochelle that you should probably start doing this throughout the season just for good measure.
It's starting to get dark by the time your shift ends and the store closes -- early on Saturdays at a tight 4 PM. You let your sales girl go a little early, wanting to take the time to close up the store properly since you were the one who made it such a mess this morning. As you start to put the chairs back that had been moved from the cafe to the children's section you hear him, fingers tapping on the counter.
"You didn't come by for your break," he says, "And I put a lot of effort into that drink."
"Sorry, we can't all be flirting through our shifts like you can, Harrington," you snark with a grin, flipping the last chair over onto it's accompanied table.
"You don't have to clean up the coffee part of the store," he says, coming around with another mug in hand, "That's my job, y'know."
"I know," you say, "But I kind of fucked it up this morning so -- just doing my part."
"Well, here," he says, mug outstretched in his large hand, gold ring gleaming back at you, "For doing your part, I guess."
"You guess, huh?" you laugh lazily, taking it -- he places his fingers in a way that you have no choice but to touch them. You wonder if he did it on purpose, "What do you call this one?"
"'Surprise me'," he replies in a mocking drawl, flipping the rag over his shoulder again and leaning against the counter's edge. The first sip is unfortunately one of the most even temperatured hot drinks you've put past your lips.
"You're good at this," you blurt out, almost offended.
"Well don't look so upset about it."
"I am upset about it," you nod back over the lip of the mug, taking another sip. Mocha -- something. It's like hot chocolate and espresso but better, still caramel, still cinnamon, like a hug from your past but caffienated like your present.
"Consider me surprised," you nod, licking your lips again, "It's good -- it's um -- yeah. It's really good."
"Thanks," he smirks, "A few of the mom's thought so, too."
You let out a sigh through your teeth, rolling your eyes. He expected that, taking a step forward when your gaze comes back to center. You can smell the left over wraiths of his cologne and Old Spice deodorant, count the moles on his neck adorned with his hidden gold chain, see the hair on his forearms from his rolled up sleeves.
"You know something," he says quietly, "If I didn't know any better -- I'd think you like me."
"Like you?" you balk, eyes widening, "You wish."
He clicks his tongue when you get so defensive because it just proves him right. He crosses his arms with another step forward, head cocking to the side slightly while he sizes you up. Why did his creator need to make his forearms so beefy? So perfectly sculpted that you can't look at them without losing your train of thought? Stupid.
"I don't think I have to wish, honey," he says softly, Doc Martins creaking on the wooden floors, "I think...uh, I think I must allow you to tell me how ardently you admire and like me."
Your mouth falls open, staring at him with eyes as glassy at the kids who watched you read this morning.
"You -- no -- you read it?"
"Maybe," he says, another step forward, his arms bumping against your chest.
"Maybe?" you ask back, brow quirking.
"Yeah, maybe I did," he runs a hand through his hair, falling back away from his face to show off his sturdy brow bone, watching you with admiration down the slope of his nose.
He reaches down and takes the mug out of your hand with smooth finesse, arm long enough to reach back and place it on the counter behind him. When he leans back in place he's closer than before, toe to toe, nearly nose to nose.
"Maybe I bought it the day you told me about it," he shrugs, "Maybe I thought it was pretty close to something I had goin' on with a girl I know."
"A girl you know?" you challenge. You know exactly who he means, but it might be fun to hear him say it. "Yeah, sometimes I only see her like, an hour a day. But sometimes I get to watch her read on her break, sometimes I get to close with her on Saturdays," he explains warmly, the timbre of his voice deep against the crackling of the fire in the back corner of the cafe.
"This is the only Saturday you've closed with me," you counter, head tilting up slightly, close enough that the tip of your nose brushes his.
"Who said I was talking about you, honey?" he murmurs back, mischief in his eyes that are half hidden by his eyelids. You feel a puff of his breath over your top lip, still minty fresh like he just brushed his teeth.
"We both know you're talking about me," you smirk, self satisfied while his gaze flickers to your lips and back to your eyes. He steps at an angle, making you step back so you're against the pick up counter.
"So sure of yourself," he he scoffs quietly, leaning over you and getting into your space. Each hand coming to the side of you to lean on the granite, caging you in, "I like that in a pretty girl."
"Most do," you shrug matter of factly.
"Yeah," he nods, "Think that's what I like about you."
"Maybe that's what I like about you, too," you nearly whisper out.
"Maybe?" he asks, lower lip ghosting over yours. "Mayb--"
The hand he uses to run through his hair finds itself flat over the back of yours, sliding down to over your cheek and jaw where he keeps you angled just right. He closes the millimeters between you, warm lips catching yours in a kiss that feels like passion but a power play you want to match.
Your hands find their way to his shoulders, heads moving in soft tilts when you change angles. When you find yourself sat on the edge of the counter he uses the leverage to pull you close to him, hips between the fullness of your thighs.
His tongue skates over yours when it slides into your mouth, free hand ridding up the soft material of your tights, tips of his fingers inching under the hem of your skirt in an innocent tease.
Even the way he breathes through it is sexy, leaving you with a lingering guess of what he can do when he presses his lips against your neck. Tongue flitting and striping while he nearly nips a bruise onto your skin. You let out a gentle gasp, enough to admit defeat to him -- much to your chagrin. Steve comes back up to your lips to meet you with a few final deep kisses before you break apart.
He steps back once, the deep golden light of the sun setting cracks through the panes of the back window in the cafe, adoring him in a glow that shines of his hair and eyes. The kind of glow they write about, the kind of glow you read about.
You both take deep breaths, eyes hungry for each other -- unsure if you should go for more. He lingers, coming forward again to rest his hands on your thighs.
"I didn't read it," he confesses. "Pfffft. Why am I not surprised?" you huff, exasperated.
"But! But, but, but," he argues back, pecking you feverishly, "I had to go to like, five different places to find the movie from 1980 so -- I did actually put some effort into it."
"I love that one," you say back.
"I get points for that, right?" he asks expectantly.
"Yeah, fine. You're luck you're cute," you explain, "But you do definitely have to read it, at some point. If you wanna keep making out with me in the cafe after closing."
"Oh, absolutely," he grins, hand reaching to pull you in by the back of the neck for a final searing kiss, "You'll have to teach me, remember?"
You of course start closing together every single Saturday.
masterlist | fall frenzy | ko-fi
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goodnightmemes · 1 month
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HOUSE OF THE DRAGON SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS
❛ Duty is sacrifice. It eclipses all things, even blood. All men of honor must pay its price.
❛ War is coming, to the whole of the realm.❜
❛ I am indebted to you. ❜
❛ I'm afraid. ❜
❛ We should've just killed her when we had the chance. ❜
❛ When the king speaks, Your Grace, all hear it. ❜
❛ I find myself wondering...do we pursue the same end? ❜
❛ You must accept that the path to victory now is one of violence. ❜
❛ Did you think I would wither in your absence? ❜
❛ You only blame me because your true enemies are out of reach. ❜
❛ She holds love for our enemy. That makes her a fool. ❜
❛ I promise you, you will have all the vengeance that you seek, but you must keep a grip on your impulses. ❜
❛ Do anything but what I ask, and I'll bleed the whole lot of ya. ❜
❛ The gods punish us. They punish me. ❜
❛ This is not the time for blind accusations. We'll know who did this soon enough. ❜
❛ I will not be seen as weak. ❜
❛ Sometimes, we have to pretend. ❜
❛ I cannot trust you. I've never trusted you, wholly, much though I wished to, willed myself to. But now I have seen that your heart belongs only to you. ❜
❛ You think me some kind of monster. ❜
❛ You're pathetic. ❜
❛ We can afford no further mistakes. ❜
❛ You are mad. Mad! You cannot think that I did this! ❜
❛ You would send me to my death. ❜
❛ I would remind you only that when princes lose their temper, it is often others who suffer. ❜
❛ I see all your great adventures have done nothing for your looks. ❜
❛ For too long, I made it my aim to be of consequence. But now, I see that was the wish of a child. ❜
❛ I wish to spill blood, not ink! ❜
❛ Instead of judgment, you display impetuousness, and diminish us in the eyes of our enemy! ❜
❛ Fuck dignity! I want revenge. ❜
❛ They wish now not for the good of the realm, but for the petty satisfaction of vengeance. ❜
❛ Soon they will not even remember what it was that began the war in the first place. ❜
❛ There is no war so hateful to the gods as a war between kin. ❜
❛ I'm as fearsome as any of them. ❜
❛ You showed me grace when you could have withheld it. I'm not often surprised. ❜
❛ I cannot promise to make you happy. But I ask you: make this sacrifice willingly, for all of us. ❜
❛ If you've not yet surmised, you are welcome here. ❜
❛ Sin begets sin begets sin. ❜
❛ If dragons begin fighting dragons, we invite our own destruction. ❜
❛ Do not coddle me. Grant me at least that dignity. ❜
❛ Sadness is a condition of motherhood. ❜
❛ You have as much claim to grief as anyone. ❜
❛ Tales take on a life of their own, like weeds. Unless they are tended. ❜
❛ Always coming and going, aren't you? And I have to clean up afterwards. ❜
❛ You will die in this place. ❜
❛ I have been, at times, unkind, but never untrue. ❜
❛ You must go before you are discovered. ❜
❛ Your mother must've been very beautiful. ❜
❛ You should've burned them when you had the chance. ❜
❛ Is there no honor left in this world? ❜
❛ This is a better death than a traitor deserves. You should thank me for it. ❜
❛ I will not be made to look a fool in front of my allies and enemies. ❜
❛ I believe it is a sin to deny your appetites. They are what make us fully alive as mortal men. ❜
❛ If I may be so bold, you have not seemed yourself of late. ❜
❛ I've barely had the hours to grieve one tragedy before suffering the next. ❜
❛ I've come to know the face of tortured rest well enough. ❜
❛ Do you think simply wearing the crown imbues you with wisdom? ❜
❛ You have no idea the sacrifices that were made to put you on that throne. ❜
❛ What would you have me do? ❜
❛ Do simply what is needed of you: nothing. ❜
❛ Where have you been, these last days? You vanished without so much as a word.❜
❛ There are those who have mistaken my caution for weakness. Let that be their undoing. ❜
❛ If you die, all is lost. ❜
❛ The horrors I have just loosed cannot be for a crown alone. ❜
❛ Do you take issue with me? ❜
❛ I can sit still no longer. I must act. ❜
❛ I did not think they would be so eager to die. ❜
❛ I need them alive. I came here to raise swords, not corpses. ❜
❛ Will you goad me? When your bread and shelter now depend on my pleasure? ❜
❛ I mislike feeling powerless. ❜
❛ I do not know my part. The path I walk has never been trod. ❜
❛ What you cannot do, let others do for you. ❜
❛ There is more than one way to fight a war. ❜
❛ I do not wish to stand alone. ❜
❛ Has your loyalty faded? Or does it flourish only at night and flee the sunrise like a moth? ❜
❛ What we must do now is... terrible. ❜
❛ This is not war. These are crimes against the innocent, that any upright man would repudiate. ❜
❛ And once again, in the name of power, it's the weak and the women who must endure. ❜
❛ Was it worth the price? ❜
❛ I caution you, boldness is one thing, but overconfidence… ❜
❛ You have the impetuousness of youth, and its arrogance, neither of which is to be desired in a king. ❜
❛ Have the indignities of your childhood not yet sufficiently been avenged? ❜
❛ To claim a dragon, you must also be prepared to die. ❜
❛ You can't possibly still be angry about this. ❜
❛ You weren't going to bid me farewell? ❜
❛ It is your way, is it not? When something does not please you, you run. ❜
❛ There are older things in this world than you or I, or living memory. ❜
❛ You are not the player, but a piece on the board. As am I, for that matter. ❜
❛ It is my fault, I think, that you have forgotten to fear me. ❜
❛ It was worth the risk, no matter the outcome. ❜
❛ The enemy without may be fought with swords. The enemy within is more insidious. ❜
❛ Do you take me for a fool? ❜
❛ Oh, you make an art of provoking me. ❜
❛ Stop wasting your life waiting for something that'll never come. ❜
❛ I'm sure you did your best. ❜
❛ They will underestimate you, and this will be your advantage. ❜
❛ If the gods call me to greater things, who am I to refuse them? ❜
❛ Nothing is clean here. ❜
❛ The order of things has changed. Why not embrace it? ❜
❛ It does seem to me that you've made rather a mess here. ❜
❛ I don't need their love. I need their swords. ❜
❛ Mind your tongue. ❜
❛ I mislike all of this. ❜
❛ It seems you need us more than we need you. ❜
❛ So, what was the fucking point in all this then? ❜
❛ It's best to live, I think. However you do it. ❜
❛ You are not alone. ❜
❛ Will you prepare to face such an enemy? Or will you stay here and make yourself easy? ❜
❛ If you hinder our efforts through sloth or unreadiness, I will see you hanged, and your body fed to the dogs in the street. ❜
❛ You've arrived just in time to see my new army. What do you think of it? ❜
❛ This place will have you barking at the moon. ❜
❛ We must all make our sacrifices. ❜
❛ 'Tis no longer our rule that is threatened, our very lives. ❜
❛ Perhaps all men are corrupt and true honor is a mist that melts in the morning. ❜
❛ The dragons dance, and men are like dust under their feet. ❜
❛ We march now toward our annihilation. ❜
❛ There will be time enough to see which one of us is a coward. ❜
❛ There are omens here for those who seek them. ❜
❛ It's all a story and you are but one part in it. You know your part. ❜
❛ I am meant to serve you, and all of these with me, until death or the end of our story. ❜
❛ Be strong. You know you are just. ❜
❛ History will paint you a villain. ❜
❛ I am at last myself, with no ambition greater than to walk where I please and to breathe the open air. To die unremarked and unnoticed and be free. ❜
❛ You speak as if from a distant dream. ❜
❛ Come with me. ❜
❛ My part is here, whether I will or no. It was decided for me long ago. ❜
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ill call your mom
trigger warnings - lots of mentions of suicide and the thoughts od doing, bad mental health. please dont read if you feel you cant handle this.
AN: this was written in one siting, not the best just me getting my own feelings out in a fic of some sort
Happiness.  
You're not sure the last time you felt true happiness, maybe when you signed for arsenal when you were 10, maybe when you made your senior debut 7 years later or maybe when you were first called up to England, but you weren't happy now, you hadn't felt true happiness in such a long time that you're not sure what it feels like. You weren't sad either though, you were just empty, disconnected from the world, your family, your teammates.  
You think it's how you've ended up here, curled up in your wardrobe, pills in front of you, you're not entirely sure what pills you've even picked up, you just grabbed every single one in the medicine cupboard that Beth and Viv had been stocking up for you since your injury.  
Your injury.  
It had come at the worst possible time, you were on your way to winning the wsl with Arsenal, on the form of your life, the world cup was just round the corner and everything you'd worked so tirelessly for had come crushing down from a movement you'd done thousands of times in your career.  
You think of that day now as you swallow the pills, you think of the days leading up to it, how you hadn't been feeling quite right, Jonas wanted you to come off minutes before the injury you'd refused and then there was the pop followed by an indescribable pain, pain you'd never felt before and then nothing. You knew as it happened that your world Cup dreams were over, your season was over, everything was over.  
You think of the days after, when you couldn't get out of bed, you couldn't cry, you couldn't feel anything, you haven't felt anything since your mind constantly frozen on that night, on the movement of your knee, one movement that had ruined everything.  
Football was your lifeline, it was all you had ever known, growing up in sporty family you'd been kicking a ball since you could stand, joining a team when you were just 5 year, up until that night there hadn't been a day go past when you hadn't kicked a ball or been out on the grass doing some kind of training drill. When you were being bullied as kid, football was how you coped with it all, when the shouting and slamming doors got too much you had football and when you needed football the most you didn't have it, you didn't have an escape.  
You were struggling to breathe now, gasping for air you couldn't breathe, and you didn't care, you were content with dying, leaving everything behind, your teammates, football that was really all you had, you wondered if anyone would truly care, if your death would leave them unsettled you think your teammates would be upset but you didn't think your death would life altering for them, they only care because they have to, because your their teammate and they have to care to some extent.  
You were losing consciousness now, you hadn't expected for it to happen this quickly for the side effects of the pills you'd taken to work this fast, as you faded in and out of consciousness you felt nothing but relief, it was a feeling you'd been craving for since your injury, previously you thought youd feel relief when you stepped on the pitch for the first time since the injury, except you hadn't felt anything, not relief or joy instead it was almost like a chore being subbed on, two years after you'd first tore your acl, two years of hell, two years begging to run again, two years of wanting nothing more than to be on a pitch again, yet you felt nothing as you high fived Leah letting you onto the field again, both sets of fans applauding your return back. it was like your injury had stripped everything good about you away from you, turning you into the silhouette of the girl you used to be.  
in hindsight you should've known that Viv would come knocking when you didn't show up for dinner forgetting she owned a key to your apartment, you should've realised that when you ignored your teammates numerous calls and texts that they would come running, always wanting to help the people they loved most.  
You could hear distant banging, desperate pounding at your door, then the click of a lock, your lock, then the shouts of your teammates screaming your name, the urgency in their voices becoming clearer. 
You're not sure how they knew that something was seriously wrong, maybe it was instinct or the way your bathroom had been torn apart, the beer bottles that were scattered around your living room or maybe it was your silence.  
You should feel someone shaking you, this wasn't death, you could feel the floor of your wardrobe, the clothes hanging up above you, you weren't meant to be back here.  
You were supposed to be dead.  
You could hear someone screaming at you begging you to open your eyes. 
“Oh god y/n wake up for me” 
They were crying and shouting for help, shaking your fragile body, you wish that they would stop and shut up for one second, but you couldn't speak, you couldn't move, you were just led there, listening to their desperate cries for help.  
You wish you had taken more at that second; you didn't want to have to deal with your teammates finding out, talking about your feelings, you didn't want that, you wanted to be dead there was nothing more you wanted at that moment.  
.........................................................................................................................
You woke up to beeping, loud harsh beeps, wires wrapped around your body, you wished you were mistaken, you wished so desperately that this was some kind of afterlife and not a hospital.  
A hospital meant you were still alive and still breathing.  
It meant it hadn't worked.  
Youd failed. Failed at something else again.  
You couldn't even kill yourself right.   
“Hiya y/n” You heard Viv whisper out.  
Slowly you opened your eyes, you noticed the bodies of your teammates laid out on chairs, each with the same concerned facial expressions, they smiled up at you. You turned your focus to Viv, she was sitting next to you holding your hand, you realised, she gave you a sympathetic look, you could see the worry in her eyes, she'd always been a worrier, always wanting to make sure the people she loved most were okay.  
“Why am I not dead.” 
You croak out, wincing as you do so your throat hurting. 
your words hung in the air for a few minutes, none of your teammates quite sure how to respond to such a question. In their minds the answer was easy, you weren't ready to die, you had a life worth living for, you were the most loving, thoughtful person, they knew how could someone so young and ‘innocent’ want to not be here anymore, not want to do life anymore.  
It was Katie who spoke first, her accent thicker than normal, her face full of worry.  
“Because you have a life here with us kiddo, life is so much more than what you may think it is, you still have so much left to do before you leave y/n.” 
You're not sure why or how but her words bring you to tears, she hadn't said anything groundbreaking, yet here you were moved to tears for the first time in two years, you hadn't cried since the night of your injury.  
You can feel Viv rubbing your back as you continue to let out tears, you're sobbing now, everything that had happened to you in the past two years coming out, everything the club psychologist had tried to get you out was spilling out of you, the thoughts of your teammates witnessing this sent you into another set of tears, you didn't want them to see you like this, you were a mess, you didn't want them knowing just how much you were struggling.  
Viv seemed to have sensed this as she forced everyone out of your hospital room leaving just you and her.  
She didn't say anything at first, she just continued rubbing your back, whispering soft Dutch words to you in hopes to calm you down slightly, remembering when you had a Panick attack before you made your debut that speaking in her native language had help you to calm down.  
Eventually your sobbing eased off and all that could be heard was your heavy breathing.  
“What happened y/n?”  
You're not sure how to answer that question truth to be told you didn't know, you remember grabbing the pills and swallowing them, but you don't remember what had switched that evening why you'd decided to go through with it.  
You had thought of doing it before, but you were always too scared to actually follow through, you'd written notes, gathered the supplies but you'd never put the plan into place before and you're not sure why you decided that today you would actually follow through.  
“I don't know” 
She just shakes her head in response.  
“You do sweetheart, you don't just try to kill yourself” 
You nod in agreement, she's right someone doesn't just do it, there has to be things leading up to it, you're just not sure why tonight, what had happened today that left you so ready to leave  
“I've been thinking about it for a while Vivi just today I actually tried I don't know I'm sorry.” 
“You don't have to say sorry kiddo, your still here and that's what matters the most to me, to us, were going to help you through this alright darling, I love you so much.” 
She says removing her hands of your back and going in for a hug, kissing your head as she does so.  
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adventuringblind · 10 months
Text
Joint Coping
Lestappen x Reader
Genre: Angst
Dialouge: "Help me understand."
Summary: Max helps his partners learn to cope in healthy ways
Warnings: Selh-harm, unhealthy Coping, blood, Ferrari, Max being the sane one of the group
Notes: I would like to emphasize that this is a thing that does happen. I know because I've done it. This specifically is not something to be glorified at all. Self-harm done in groups can become competitive. This is a pretty toned down version of things I've experienced and it's less toxic. THIS IS NOT REACHING OUT. Just wanted to clarify :)
This is part of my 1000 follower celebration! Requests are still open if you'd like to participate (the link will take you to the request form).
Masterlist
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Max knows something is wrong with his partners. It's like an itch in his brain he can't scratch. A sixth sense, if you will.
The two Ferrari drivers are struggling with their team. Every problem is their fault. They have become the Ferrari scapegoats. When they do poor, it's the driver. When they do good, it's the team and the car.
He's coming to the end of his patience. If he has to hear them self deprecate one more time he might actually consider making them stand in the mirror and say nice things about themselves. Can he fuck it out of them? Is that a possibility? He really doesn't know but is desperate and willing to try anything.
They both DNF at the next race. Max is a man on a mission through media and debrief. He needs to see that they are okay. At the very least not sitting through some kind of lecture a parent gives to a child.
He sprints to the Ferrari garage and runs into Carlos. Despite his injury that took him out of the season, he still comes to support his team and teammates.
"Carlos!" The Spainard spins around to face him. "Have you seen-?"
"They already left over an hour ago. Did they not text you?"
There are warning bells going off inside of his head. Something is clearly wrong and they aren't telling him about it. He's about to sprint away when Carlos stops him.
"Before you go, you should that there were some awful things said by their engineers and they looked really upset about it."
"Thanks Carlos."
Max is back at the hotel as fast as he can manage. He tried both their cells with no answer. It's killing him from the inside out with anxiety. He's probably just overthinking, but it'll feel better when he sees they are okay.
He keys the door open and doesn't bother taking off his shoes. The lights are off aside from the one in the bathroom. Maybe they decided a nice relaxing bath would do the trick. Max could also go for one. He pushes that thought aside for now.
He knocks gently on the door. "You two in there?" No response. Or at least - not one to him directly. There are a few hushed whispers, but nothing loud enough for him to hear.
He waits Aproximatley ten seconds before he can't handle it anymore and swings the door open. He expects to see fogged mirror and water on the floor. Instead he's met with the sight red wrists and thighs.
He's lost. Max Verstappen has no idea what to do.
They are stripped down to undergarments. Legs dangling over the side of tub. A switchblade in the hands of Charles. They both look teary eyed and doped out. Are they enjoying this?
God, he feels so stupid. Weeks of having Sex with no lights on, sweatshirts in hot weather, no swimming and doing private ice bathes away from trainers. He should've noticed. Max could've stopped this sooner. He wants to rewind and tell them to come to him instead of relying on this to get the through.
"Guess you caught us." Charles let's out a half assed laugh. "You gonna stare at us all night? Or can we get the yelling part over with? Last three partners left us when they caught it. I understand if it's to much. Not your burden."
Max had been a later addition. The two in the bathtub had been together since their teenage years. Had they been Coping like this for so long?
"Sorry about the mess. Relapses are hard. We made it all season until a month ago." She leans her head onto Charles' shoulder. How can they make this type of environment endearing? This is unreal and they need serious help. Which Max will eventually get them when he can get his act together.
He kneels on the floor in between them. Max is just now registering the tears on his cheeks. They'd been in pain for so long. It hurts him just thinking about it.
"I'm not going to yell-" he looks at one. "-I'm not going to leave-" he looks at the other. "But help me understand. I want to help."
"It's easier to do with someone else around. It's more therapeutic." The lopsided smile on the female's face is not helping Max. He has to many questions.
First, he gets them cleaned up. Neither of them flinch when he disenfects the wounds. They don't look at him as he wraps them in whatever gauz is in the first aid kit. They look ashamed as he puts the knife in his bag and rinses the tub.
The one that gets him, however, is the look of pure confusion when Max hugs them both so tightly. It's like they don't know how to respond.
They sit in a circle on the bed. It's comfortable and Max can see both their expressions clearly.
"I know the struggle." He starts. "Punishing yourself is better then someone else doing it, right? But I had Daniel there reminding me to reach out."
"It's just easier this way."
"Easier isn't better. Look at the state you're in. I'm not leaving, but I am getting the both of you help."
He followed through with this the next morning. Then looked supposed to see him when they woke up. He, and his childish mind, kissed all the cuts and scars. Every single one of them received proper treatment.
The female cried and thre her arms around Max. Charles had looked away in shame. The reasons they started this are still foreign to him, but that's not his priority.
He gets them help. All of them, mind you. They do group sessions as the three of them to find healthier ways to cope with each other.
Reasons seem to fade into the background because they don't matter as much. The important thing is that Max caught it in time. That he didn't lose them to their own minds. They are partners, and Max would be devistated to lost someone he loves to those dark places.
He rests easier now that the itch has been scratched. His partners are doing better. They smile and laugh at his stupid jokes again. A bit of confidence regained.
And Max reminds them daily that nothing is worth it if you have to destroy yourself for it. Drivers or not, he loves them regardless.
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vampiricgf · 3 months
Text
☆ SUNBEAM STRAWBERRY KISS
ᝰ googling "how to make strawberry crepes" shouldn't have been so troublesome
frat boy satoru x reader, reader is shorter than him, use of petnames (baby, princess), set in the same universe as my frat boy au, sfw he's just bad at cooking but tries really hard for you :(
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With a groan Satoru leans against his elbows on the countertop. Why was this so difficult? Every video he'd watched made it look like a breeze, you just spread batter thinly over the griddle and then flip it. Simple.
His eyes find the pile of soggy, ripped cast offs laying forlornly on the counter. So why had every attempt ended the same? Nearly torn in half at the crucial moment of the flip, or left half cooked which shouldn't even be possible given how thin they were they should've cooked in minutes.
Groaning he stands, running his hands down his face thinking about how he'd gotten here. Strawberries weren't in season yet so he'd spent a good bit of time tracking some down after you mentioned the other day that strawberry crepes were your favorite and it was always exciting for you when restaurants had them back on their menus.
The filling was boiled, sieved, and smashed to perfection already and he'd been up late last night following an instructional video on how to make the cream filling. He'd even saved some of the sugar syrup to drizzle on top when it was all put together.
But now his stomach was doing flips and not the welcome kind he gets from looking at you or hearing your laugh. These are from the idea of disappointing you, serving you a plate of ripped, pathetic almost crepes and having you do that polite thing people do when they're served something awful but it's by someone they care about so they won't just say it's bad. His heart can't even take the barest thought of you not liking something he's done.
With a deep breath, centering himself, he decides to keep going. There's only a little batter left, so maybe he'll get a lucky break or a hail mary and these will be the ones that come out perfectly.
With his shoulders squared he took a measuring cup full of the batter and spread it on the still hot griddle, in one smooth circular motion just like the video. So far so good. The smell of slightly sweet warming batter filled the kitchen, making him grin. There's no way this one could come out bad, but the moment was nearly upon him again.
The dreaded flip. It's okay, you can do this. Just slide the spatula beneath them, easy does it, and then flip. Gotta have confidence.
The groan that rings around the kitchen sounds more similar to a wounded animal than a man, and in a huff he throws the newly torn crepe into the mountainous pile of failures. Maybe he should put a plaque there. Monument to Gojo Satoru, man who couldn't even make his girlfriend a plate of crepes.
Fuck.
Would it be so bad to just go out and buy some? Maybe some plain ones so they could be half home made, it would still count since he made the filling right? Would you be able to tell? Would it disappoint you?
Oh no.
He can hear your sweet giggle floating down the hallway towards the fraternity house kitchen before he sees you and immediately he breaks out in a cold sweat. The idea of you seeing his failure monument was too much, too embarrassing. He's supposed to be good at everything, you can't see this.
Quickly he grabs the plate of reject crepes but he's moving too quickly, trying to make them disappear too hurriedly and in the blink of an eye the plate goes flying from his grasp as he smacks his left hip off the edge of the countertop, shattering against the tile floor.
Wincing it takes all his presence of mind to not immediately let out a stream of shouted curses, but of course at just that moment the door opens and there you are.
Perfect, magical, gorgeous, infuriating you.
"Oh my god Satoru, are you okay?"
You rush over without thinking and he loves you for it, leans into your touch against the side of his face with a whine in the back of his throat.
"M'okay baby, I can get that in a second." His own voice sounds so melancholy to his ears, it's enough to make him visibly droop like a wilted flower. He doesn't want you cleaning up his mess, not when it was supposed to be a nice surprise for you.
"What even happened, were you cooking something?" You eye the mess behind him at the stovetop, pots and pans sitting in the skin soaking in now cooled bubbly water.
"Yeah... It was supposed to be a surprise. For you." He winces again, rubbing gentle circles against his throbbing hip bone but he doesn't miss the tiny smile you give him.
"A surprise for me? What were you making me Toru?" You let go of him, wandering behind towards the bowls containing the fruity syrupy filling and the thick, fluffy cream before gingerly swiping your pinky through each one.
"Strawberries! Wait, you remembered about the crepes?" You said incredulously, turning back to him with wide eyes.
God you're so sweet, so cute.
Sheepishly he smiles back at you, "You said they're your favorite so I wanted you to have them."
You come back in front of him, on top toes to reach his face before planting an adorable kiss to his cheek with another giggle. It nearly makes him melt, a Satoru puddle that would seep out around your feet with little cartoon hearts floating above it. He loves the way you make him feel, soft and warm. You deserve the world, not just strawberry crepes.
"I don't want all the work you did to go to waste, how about we pop those in the fridge and try to find some crepes at the store?" You talk animatedly, already moving to cover and place the bowls in the fridge and he can't help but stare at you incredulously, like you were some kind of psychic.
His long strides carry him quickly across the kitchen to you, wrapping his arms around you and pressing your back into his chest, humming with his cheek pressed to your head. You even smelled like strawberries.
"That sounds good, princess."
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lucy90712 · 4 months
Note
heyy love your writing:>
Could you pls do clingy jude x fem!reader?
This season has been an incredibly long one so many games so many ups and downs but it has been a lot of fun. I have loved watching Jude blossom at Real Madrid and win trophies which he has very much deserved. The one big downside is that we haven't spent as much time as we would like together Jude is always away for games or at training and when he's not I'm at work and even now the domestic season is over the euros start in a few weeks so we are going to be apart again. 
Just yesterday Jude was at the champions league final which I couldn't go and see in person and now in a few days time he has to head back to England to join the England team. When I went to bed Jude was still at Wembley but now that I've woken up he's asleep beside me so he must've made it home at some point during the night. His arm was loosely hung over my waist as he slept soundly. I wished we could stay like this forever but I have work and I'm sure Jude has celebrations to attend later with the team. As much as I should get up I can go without breakfast and use that time to just lay in bed with Jude for a few more minutes, out of habit my hands went to his hair playing with it which woke him up. Once he realised where he was he pulled me closer to him and just held me tightly which is really going to make getting up even harder. 
"Good morning" he said in his morning voice which I love so much 
"Morning and congratulations you played so well last night I'm so sad I couldn't be there" I said 
"Thank you but don't worry I know you had work I'm just glad you're here right now" he said 
"I wish we could spend more time together you've got to leave me again in a few days and then I won't see you until the euros have started" I said 
"Do you have to go to work today?" He asked 
"I'm afraid I do there's a few others off this week and we've got a lot to get done" I replied 
That made Jude frown and hold onto me tighter. The time indicated that I should've got out of bed 10 minutes ago but I still don't want to leave and I don't think Jude will let me just yet. My routine is completely ruined but I don't really care as I love to soak up moments like this as they have been rare recently. As time went on Jude only held me tighter and started pressing kisses to my face and neck almost teasing me as he was yet to reach my lips but eventually he pulled me down to give me what I had been waiting for. I've missed Jude's kisses so much so I let him keep kissing me for a few more minutes before I pulled away and tried to get out of bed. Jude didn't let me get up I tried but he was just too strong for me to be able to break free. 
"I have to go to work love" I said 
"Do you really have to" he whined 
"You know I do" I said 
Jude didn't say anything else he simply just grabbed my phone from my bedside table and started looking for something which confused me until he put the phone to his ear. He had called my boss and phoned me in sick which had me laying there completely shocked. I never thought he'd do something like that just to spend time with me but I can't say I'm mad about it because I've missed him so much and I haven't had a day off in months. It didn't sink in for a few seconds that I really didn't have to go to work but when Jude put my phone down smiling I realised I could snuggle back into his arms for as long as I wanted to. 
We stayed in bed for a while until we were both starting to get hungry but before we could eat I wanted to brush my teeth. Jude joined me in the bathroom to brush his teeth too but he didn't let go of me even for a second he even stood behind me with his arms around my waist as I washed my face and did my skincare. Once I was done he picked me up and put me over his shoulder and carried me down the stairs which I would complain about but he used to do it all the time when we got to see more of each other so I just enjoyed getting to be like we used to. He took me to the kitchen and put me down and just stared at me which to others might seem weird but I knew exactly what he was asking. He wanted to order breakfast and I wasn't going to say no as I didn't really want to cook. 
I let him order whatever he thought I'd want as he usually gets it right then I suggested we make some fresh orange juice as for some reason we have a load of oranges that we definitely won't eat before they go bad. Jude got the juicer we have for whatever reason and I cut the oranges so they can go in the machine but I wasn't tall enough or strong enough to actually press the oranges into the juicer. I needed Jude to help me so he got the little step stool we have in the kitchen to help me reach things and put his hands on mine to help me push all the oranges through the juicer. We made a pretty good team and made a good amount at least enough for a glass for both of us which I poured while Jude answered the door as our food arrived. 
We ate breakfast before sitting on the sofa where we stayed for pretty much the whole day just cuddling and catching up on the shows we like to watch together but have become quite behind on. Both of us are normally quite active people and hate to sit around all day but I loved spending all day just cuddling with Jude and that's how I know we've both missed each other's company. Thinking about the fact that I'm just a few days we will have to be apart again made me so sad. I didn't realise just how much I missed him and our days together until we actually got to be together and now I don't want him to leave again. 
"Have you got work for the next few days?" Jude asked 
"Yeah sadly I really wish I didn't but if I want time off the the euros I can't take any more they will fire me" I said 
"You don't need this job if you want to work you can find another company to work for that is more flexible we never see each other as they always make you work overtime and extra days" Jude said 
"I know but my coworkers will end up with so much more to do and then I'll feel awful" I said 
"If that wasn't a factor would you prefer to stay or leave?" Jude asked
"I think I'd prefer to leave" I admitted 
"Then do it spend the summer with me and then look for a new job once the season restarts" Jude said 
"Are you sure I have some savings but not enough for a few months of not working" I said 
"I'm completely sure I can afford everything and I'd much rather you be happy and I want to enjoy the summer with you" he said 
"Then it's settled I'll hand in my notice later today and take the rest of my holiday to cover my notice period" I said 
Jude didn't say anything else he just kissed me and held me tighter. This definitely feels right and I can't lie that I'm really happy and relieved that I can spend the whole off season with Jude and experience pre season and the euros with him properly. 
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Hi so I wanted to request something I just thought of if that’s okay! A little meet cute story from season 4 where reader is the midwife who helped deliver Henry and her and Reid meet in the hospital and just hit it off🥺
this is so cute! this strays a lot from the plot of the episode because i haven't watched it forever and don't feel like it lmao
The Lanky Guy in Room 603
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She wasn't sure if the long, lanky man curled up in the uncomfortable chair was Jennifer's brother or husband. He looked young; with a blemish-free baby face and a mop of soft brown hair. She could tell it had a slight curl to it and she had to resist an urge to tuck the stray pieces that fanned out behind his ear. Perhaps it was because she spent her days and nights caring for expecting parents, she just couldn't help but want to care for the sleeping man.
Jennifer was watching television, a pained look on her face as she held her round belly.
"You said it would be today," Jennifer groaned, the pain of labor evident on her face, "It's almost tomorrow."
Y/N sat on the stool beside Jennifer's bed, "I know I did, honey." She pressed a damp cloth to Jennifer sweaty face, attempting to cool down her body temperature. "But it seems like this little baby's got a mind of their own."
"Just like her mother."
The voice came from behind her. The sleep man, now not sleeping, unfolded himself from his pretzel-like position on the chair. He joints popped as he stretched his legs. Y/N noticed his socks were patterned. His left foot donned socks with gray tabby cats and a navy blue background. His right foot donned pumpkins on a lavender background.
Jennifer smiled, thanking Y/N for the damp cloth, as her companion checked her vitals. He peered at the numbers, probably attempting to decipher their meanings regarding his wife's health.
"Your wife is perfectly healthy, sir. You''ll have a healthy, sweet, baby within the next day. I'm sure of it."
Jennifer chuckled, "He's not my husband. Spencer's my....."
"Co-worker. Very proud godfather of her soon to be born baby girl?" Spencer injected, still reading the vitals.
"I'm concerned about JJ's vitals. Are you sure that her lab work is updated? It needs to reflect the high stress nature of her job. And her blood pressure? It was last checked thirteen minutes and twenty seven seconds ago. And does the satellite birth center have enough blood in the bank. On average a laboring mother may loose about...."
"Spence," Jennifer, or JJ as the man named Spencer called her, "I'm going to be just fine. The baby is going to be just fine. Please don't harass the midwife. Or I'll have to switch you out for Penny instead."
"You know if you wanted to get stuff done, you should've picked Hotch or Emily," Spencer countered, "I'm just going to be a nervous wreck."
"You're going to be fine. And think of it as practice for when your wife is pregnant. You'll be a pro by the time that rolls around."
Spencer chuckled dryly. His cheeks blushed crimson as he checked the clock. "It's now been fourteen minutes and thirty four seconds." He whispered under his breath.
"Are you and your wife expecting as well? It kinda smart for her to send you here for a dry run?" Y/N commented, making light talk with Jennifer and Spencer. Through her couple of years a midwife, she learned that many laboring parents and their companions need to have their minds occupied.
"N-no, no wife," Spencer said, his lips formed a tight smile as he looked at Y/N and then back to Jennifer, "We have a very time consuming job. Dating is hard. And family life is even harder. It’s common for many families in the BAU to end with divorce between the two partners.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Spence,” Jennifer quipped as a wave of labor pains came over her.
“I don’t mean you and Will,” Spencer backtracked, “You’re not even married to him.”
Jennifer rolled her eyes at Spencer, and Y/N got the sense that the Spencer and Jennifer shared a sibling-like relationship. It made sense, she supposed as she watched Spencer continuously checked Jennifer’s vitals. He hovered like a mother hen, but made no attempt at physical contact like the husbands usually did.
“Distract her,” Y/N whispered to Spencer, “And don’t talk about how her marriage is statistically likely to end in divorce. That’s not the way to comfort a mom that’s about to push a 8 pound baby out of her vagina.”
Spencer shut his mouth quickly, returning to Jennifer’s side. As Y/N walked out of the room, she noted that the soon to be godfather asked her if she needed anything.
***
“Y/N!” Nurse Lorraine said from her perch. “That tall kid from Room 603, the one that looks like he’s about to faint? He’s looking for you.”
Room 603? Y/N checked her chats, shuffling through the pile of laboring parents.
Ah! That would be Jennifer Jareau. And her very eager friend/co-worker/godfather of her child.
“Oh, Spencer? He’s a sweetheart. Trying to help her. He could teach those husbands a thing or too.” Y/N said, as she typed away at her computer.
“He’s not the husband?” Lorraine questioned, her tone making Y/N stop typing.
“What are you doing, Lo?” Y/N sighed with exasperation. “You’re meddling. And it’s not a cute look, I’m afraid.”
“It’s been how long since that idiot of a man dumped you for his unpaid intern? Todd? Taylor? What was his name again?”
“Tyler. He was an ass. I don’t think I’m ready to get myself back out there. He really did a number on me.” Y/N lamented. She took a sip of her third coffee of the day. It was a distraction from tearing up or worse, actually crying in front of Lorraine, the hardass nurse who makes Attendings cry.
“Y/N, honey,” Lorraine sighed, “Don’t waste your youth or your beauty on someone who doesn’t deserve it. I’m not saying that man in 603 deserves you, but he’s holding his coworker’s hand as she’s delivering a baby that’s not his. All because her boyfriend is stuck at work in New Orleans. He’s a good man. And he’s looking for you. And he blushed when he asked for you.”
Y/N rolled her eyes at Lorraine’s gossipy tendencies. “How do you know all that? I’ve been with him all day and I hardly can get him to tell me his name. Beside the snide comments about me not checking the vitals enough.”
“See! He’s protective over people he cares about, even if talking to the gorgeous nurse terrifies him. I can lock you two in the supply close if you’d like. I mean the piles and piles of extra large padsicles and bed pens aren’t very romantic, but maybe romance isn’t what you need right now.” Lorraine quipped.
Ignoring Lorraine, “I’m going to see what he wants from me.” Y/N said, recoiling because she knew Lorraine would twist her words into some sort of sexual innuendo.
“Go get’em, Tiger!” Lorraine called from the Nurse’s Station with a mischievous glint in her eye.
***
“Spencer?” Y/N whispered, noting that Jennifer was sleeping in her bed, “Nurse Lorraine said you wanted to speak to me.”
Even in the dark room, minus the glow of equipment monitoring Jennifer, Y/N could see his light blush. He was cute. She thought that before Lorraine even broached the subject. She though that when she silently wondered if he was Jennifer’s husband or not.
He was cute. Handsome, even.
Spencer couldn’t be more than 26 or 27. He had brown eyes that were kind and warm. Spencer looked gentle, and that was evident by the easy way he cared for Jennifer.
“I wanted to make sure I was doing it right,” Spencer confessed, “I’m not really good with all this,” he waved his hand around the room to show what he meant, “My mind can only focus on the possibilities of what can go wrong. I’m not cut out for this.”
“For what being a companion? A godfather? Spencer, Jennifer clearly cares for you and wants you in her baby’s life. She sees that you’re kind and caring and gentle.”
Spencer cracked a smile, warming Y/N heart. She hated it. Yet she liked it. And that only made her hate it more.
“Thanks.” Spencer said, taking a sip of his probably now cold coffee.
“You know there’s an excellent microwave in the nurse’s lounge room. Lorraine bullies enough attendings that I can totally sneak you in there to warm up your coffee.” Y/N offered, “Jennifer needs sleep. It’s the best thing for her right now. Besides, I can teach you how to swaddle a baby and change a diaper.”
“I know how to deliver a baby,” Spencer said, “It’s a lot messier than I thought.” He said with a shiver.
“Are you in healthcare?” Y/N asked they walked to the nurse’s lounge. It was so late that most of the families were either sleeping, in labor, or being discharged. “You certainly know a lot about medicine. And for the record we do have plenty of blood in stock. But we’re looking for donors every third Tuesday if the month.”
“Not technically. Well, not the doctor you’re thinking of at least. I have three PhDs. In mathematics, chemistry, and psychology. It’s….a lot I know,” He offered a small smile, “People either think I’m like some super genius or a freak. But not. I’m just….me.”
“Well I happen to think that you’re pretty awesome just being you. I can’t technically say it, but you and Jennifer are my favorites of the night. So it’s only my duty as a L&D nurse to make sure you are the best baby swaddling godfather in the metro area.”
“Now that’s quite the title to live up to. Do we use real babies or dolls to practice?” Spencer inquired.
Y/N giggled as she reached into the supply closet, “I’m in the business of delivering babies. Not kidnapping them, Dr. Spencer……?”
“Reid.”
“Reid.” She nodded, handing him a baby doll to practice with. “If it was twelve hours earlier I would be making you wrap my burrito to practice.”
“I think I’m going to equally as bad as wrapping a burrito as I would be a baby.” He confessed.
“Fear not, young grasshopper, your teacher is here.” Y/N teased, grabbing Spencer by the arm to the table where she ate lunch every day with Lorraine and Hector, her favorite to nurses on the floor.
She laid out a blanket and a baby on the table as her and Spencer stood side by side. “So fold the corner of the blanket down for the baby’s head to rest. And the you gently lay the baby down. Now wrap over the left triangle to the baby’s middle.” She watched as he followed expertly, “Good! Now fold up the little triangle at the baby’s feet. Make sure it’s snug, but not too tight.”
“It’s easier than it looks,” Spencer said as he folded the last part of the blanket and held up a swaddled baby doll.
“Now try when it when a baby is screaming at you and you’ve been on your feet for ten hours.”
“I’ll sit to my day job,” Spencer joked, “But call me if you ever need a swaddling partner.”
Y/N’s face heated at the thought of calling Spencer, of talking to him beyond this night when he friend was about to give birth.
“Where did you learn how to deliver a baby?” She asked, hoping to divert the conversation.
“I read about it.” Spencer replied.
“In college? Did you take a human biology class on pregnancy as well?”
“Uh, no,” Spencer said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, “I read about it. I read it today when JJ was getting admitted.”
“Getting admitted takes like 30 minutes? How on Earth did you read about human delivery in 30 minutes?” Y/N asked with awe on her face.
“Actually, it took 31 minutes and twelve seconds. Which is 2 minutes and 39 seconds faster than the average,” He blushed when Y/N raised eyes meant his comment only added to her questions, not answered them, “I have a very good memory. And I can read fast.” He explained.
“Oh,” Y/N said, taking out two mugs from the cabinet, “that explains the three PhDs and how you hounded me about vitals before. You’re brilliant. And a very good friend.”
“I don’t get brilliant often. Genius, yes. Freak, yes. Strange, yes. But brilliant isn’t usually reserved for me. I think my quirks out weigh my strengths and thus that changes how I’m perceived.”
“Well, I don’t see a freak or a stranger,” Y/N told him, “I see a man who’s probably 6’3” that crammed himself into a tiny plastic chair and has been fetching ice chips and throwing down with the toughest nurse to get his friend a blanket. That’s not a freak. Or a weirdo. Or anything besides a good, gentle, kind man. I don’t really know you, but it’s my job to watch people here. I watch all these husbands who don’t dote on their wives as they push a whole baby out of their bodies. They complain to them about how long it took to find parking, or that they had to pay 10 bucks for a decent cup of coffee at the cafe, or that the chairs hurt their back. I haven’t heard you say that once. You’re good, Spencer. There’s a reason Jennifer wants you to be her baby’s godfather.”
Stunned, Spencer’s lip twitched into what resembled a smile. He bit his lip as his eyes scanned the room.
“Thank you,” Spencer whispered, “it means more than you know.”
“Good. You seem like the kind of person that deserves to hear good things. And plus, I’m sure your wife or girlfriend will be very happy you spent the night learning how to swaddle babies and change diapers.”
“Uh, I’m not committed to anyone.” Spencer corrected, the blush returned to his face, this time it crawled all the way up to his ears. It only increased his cuteness as it increased the way Y/N’s heart pumped blood. Her nervous system was on overdrive and she hasn’t even touched the man. Yet there was something about him that drew him to her.
“Oh, seeing someone casually and don’t want to freak her out?” Y/N offered. “Because I will admit that’s not what you want to say to the girl you have a situationship with.”
“A situationship?” Spencer questioned, shaking his head. “Never mind. I’m not seeing anyone casually or otherwise. It’s never been my strong suit.”
“Seriously?” Y/N said, pouring her coffee and Spencer a cup, “That’s very surprising.”
“Why?” Spencer asked, accepting the coffee with a tight lipped smile.
“Not to cross any professional boundaries, but you’re literally what most girls look for when they want a partner. Especially one that they want to you know,” she gestured to the baby doll on the table, “settle down with. You’re husband material.”
“Husband material?” Spencer asked, clearly beyond confusion. It was like it was his first time hearing that he was desirable to women. An overwhelming urge to tell him just how desirable he was to her overcame Y/N.
She fought it hard.
“You know,” she started, “you’ve got a great job, nice and normal friends, you’re close friends with a woman, but there’s zero sexual tension between the two of you. That means a lot to girls. It means that you can see women as whole people.”
“What else would I see them as?” Spencer questioned aloud. “They’re people. Not props or conquests.”
Y/N threw her hands up in surrender as if she finally has given up. “See, you’re like perfect. Not to mention you’re very nice to look at.”
Spencer gulped a big sip of coffee, but the burning liquid spewed out all over him and the table. Y/N dodged it, spending nearly three years getting out of the way of mysterious liquids from all different patients had certainly paid off.
“Sorry, sorry, god that was embarrassing,” Spencer lamented. “I hope I didn’t get it all over you.” He apologized.
Holding in a giggle, Y/N waved off his fears. “Don’t worry. You’re just fine, Spencer.”
In more ways than one, she thought silently to herself.
“I apologize if I made you uncomfortable. It’s highly unprofessional of me to comment on your appearance.”
No matter how attractive she finds him.
Spencer’s face melted as she apologized. “No!” He practically yelled. “Don’t think that. Please don’t think that. I didn’t mind it at all. It’s just, I’m not used to hearing it. Especially from women that are like you.”
“Like me?”
“Smart. Hardworking. Kind. Funny. Beautiful.” Spencer confessed.
The last one hit a certain part of her heart that went pang. Tyler never called her beautiful. He would call her hot and sexy, but not beautiful. But maybe once he did. But he said she “looked beautiful” not that she was beautiful.
There was a difference between looking beautiful and being beautiful. And she was looking right at it.
“Spencer,” Y/N whispered. “Once Jennifer is discharged from L&D could I maybe take you out on a date?“
Spencer nodded, and she swore she could see his eyes light up at the possibility of something between them.
“Sure. Isn’t there a blood donation clinic next week?” He smiled and took a sip of his coffee, “I promise I won’t spew coffee all over you when you compliment me again,”
***
Tagging people who are active But please reblog and comment if you stumble across this. It’s a great way we can show our love :)
@reidsbookclub @boldlyvoid @foxy-eva @candlesandsoftrain @radiant-reid
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The empathy gap when it comes to the take that "Ed should've done more to atone/earned his "redemption" more/been punished more" is just really getting to me today.
Like, Ed didn't need to be punished. Yeah, he did shitty things to the crew, but a "redemption" story implies that he was just doing those things when in a clear state of mind and that he'd do those things of his own volition, while we know he was acting from a place of being actively suicidal and he'd literally been pushed last season into a hyper-violent caricature of himself that he hates. He was told that he had to be the perfect pirate; that's what he's doing, and it's clear it's hurting him. There is absolutely no indication that Ed would ever act the way he did at the beginning of s3 without those huge factors at play, and the only reason his crew is so upset by it is very explicitly because they know what it's like when it's better and what Ed is like when he's better. Ed didn't need to be "redeemed," he needed the support to recover.
I'm sure Ed would agree that he needs to be punished. This is the same guy who thought up the most painful suicide methods possible (first baiting Ned Low, a guy who is known for torturing people before he kills them, and then forcing a mutiny so he'd be beaten to death). He thinks he needs to be put down like the insane animal Izzy talks about him like he is, and if you agree with that...honestly, please just block me.
Why is it that these same arguments don't think Izzy didn't need to do more to earn his redemption? Last season, he mocked and harrassed the crew, stabbed Stede, called the cops on them, was the world's shittiest captain, and then actively triggered Ed's Kraken spiral, and that's even without considering the years of emotional abuse on Ed he admitted to on his deathbed.
It's just like - how do you watch the first three episodes of s2 without your heart breaking for Ed? I never once thought "oh, he needs to be punished for this" or "he's irredeemable," I was heartbroken to see a character we love from s1, who we know loves goofing off and is usually pretty cheerful, in such a terrible place. It wasn't "he needs to be punished," it was "he needs help."
Just - it does upset me, the fandom tendency to forgive the white guy anything and just give him a pass while the brown guy gets no sympathy at all.
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espercognitive · 6 months
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She was a Seamstress, He was an actor.
Timothée Chalamet x Fem!Reader Pt1
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This is my first fic on here! I've been like hiding in the shadows but i have to force myself to write! so I'm just experimenting with fic writing. This is probably gonna be a series about theater! your character is theater technician so all the cool behind the scenes stuff is there. You work in costume and you are assigned to Timothée's character! The reader is fem presenting and has female pronouns! I'm going to include gender neutral readers in the future!(also should I put Timothee or Timothée?)
TW: Swearing, Mild mention nudity, Some sexual tension.
Word count: 1.18k
Show season had finally begun for your theater. After training in high school, you got picked to be a seamstress for a well known theater in New York. Your work was paying off and you could finally see your work being used to its full potential. Going from small local high school productions, you had now gotten the opportunity to work with real actors and actresses. People who you were going to help bring a character to life. Especially for the show 'Anything Goes'
But what you hadn't expected was being assigned to Timothée Chalamet.
Unfortunately, you knew who he was. He had been an actor when you were in high school, but even with the familiarity, you still couldn't help but be a bit frustrated. This wasn't the first time you had to work with him, it'd actually be the second time. The first time made you swear you'd never work with him again. Sophomore year had been going smoothly, that was until your theater department had decided to do Sweet Charity. After working with him that show, hearing the name Oscar Lindquist made you shudder. He had been a senior, and he had been popular in the theater department since his freshman year. You were excited to dress a popular actor, but it was the complete opposite of what you had imagined. Instead of a wonderful maybe even flirtatious encounter
Until you got the character assignments, and you see his name right next to yours.
'Oh fuck' you thought to yourself. You sighed as you walked into the costume shop. You had hope that he had grown out of his annoying behavior, but when he walked in to get measurements done, you figured that probably wasn't the case. He strutted into the costume shop, dopey smile on his face, and that same white boy swag he had in his senior year. You felt sophomore you cringe as he walked over to you.
"Y/N right?" he questioned.
"Yes." you mumbled.
You picked up the measuring tape and started to take his measurements. Typically this wouldn't be such a big deal, that was until you had to measure his waist and crotch area. Now back in high school, this wasn't such a big deal. They had the male costumers take those measurements for the actors and female costumers for the actresses. But this wasn't high school anymore, and you had a big girl job, in which you were responsible for getting this right. You crouched down, face to dick, trying to distract yourself from how close the two of you were when you heard him say,
"Do I know you from somewhere? I normally can recognize a cute face wherever I go, but i can't put a name on you."
"Yea we actually went to the same high school together."
"Really? Were you a seamstress then, or did you start now?"
You sighed and answered almost finished with the rest of his measurements.
"Uh yea I was. I was your costumer when we did Sweet Charity."
He jumped messing up your placement as you tried again.
"Hey can you not move so muc-" He cut you off before you could finish your request.
"OH! I remember you! You were that shy little sophomore. I remember how you never yelled no matter how many times I fucked up my costume" He smiled to himself as he finished bringing up that frustrating memory.
"Yea. I probably should've. Ok Stop moving I'm almost done."
"Ok Ok. Seems like you've gotten more a fire to you at least" He mumbled that last part, a little afraid to say it out loud. You gave him a look.
"Ok I finished. I'm gonna pull some stuff and then tomorrow I'll have you come and try some stuff on." You walked off refusing to look at him in the eyes, grabbing your paper with the measurements.
"Yea ok. Thats cool. See you tomorrow Y/N"
You figured this was going to be an interesting show. Only 2 more months till the show opened.
The next day
You had spent all day yesterday pulling close that would fit him. It was weird doing the same thing again. You thought about how frustrated you were in your sophomore year. But maybe he could be different. You would be lying if the crush you had on him still lingered around. Maybe you could get close this time the way you had wanted to in high school.
Nope. Don't start those thoughts. He's your coworker. Nothing more.
You laid out the pants and clothes you needed him to try. Of course as the character Billy, you'd need every one of his outfits to be different and unique. But you'd have to make a sailor costume from scratch. Which meant for the next few weeks, there'd be many fittings. But you just needed to focus on what you had right now, which was being delayed as Timothée was late.
After distracting and helping some other seamstresses, the man or the hour finally decided to make his appearance.
"Hey Y/N. Woah whats up with the face?" He questioned.
"Well your an hour late. I have to go in like an hour for a doctors appointment so we have to make this fast."
"Oh sorry. Well uh I got you a drink. You used to drink apple juice all the time during Sweet Charity so I figured you'd want this."
You look up into his eyes, he seemed genuine. You smiled as you took the bottle.
"Thank you Timothée. If you bring me an apple juice every time you're late, I'll make sure no one finds out." You smiled at him.
"Really? Thats a deal then."
"Ok. Its time to try on all of these outfits I have laid out. If they don't fit, don't worry about it. I can fix some of the sizes on the pants too."
"Ok, but small problem. Theres a lot of people in the dressing rooms, I don't know if we'll have room to do this."
"Oh fuck. Hmm. Crap I have to get this done."
"I can try and find somethin-" You cut him off with an idea.
"Actually, theres a couch room upstairs in the theater. It's pretty empty normally so you should have enough room to change in there." You smiled as you felt satisfied with that idea, until he said,
"Oh a couch room? You want to watch me undress in the couch room? You're definitely not that shy little sophomore anymore apple."
"Apple? Also thats not what I meant! I do not want to be apart of the reason the couches cannot be looked at under a black light."
He giggled as he grabbed the clothes.
"Yea apple. Like apple juice. I don't know, just thought I'd be cute for you."
you laughed as you responded "and I'm not the shy one anymore."
The two of you made it up the stairs and got into the couch room to just try on clothes. Definitely just try on clothes. Nothing else was going to happen...
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