#they say knowing full well they read like 400 fic in the last three weeks

[madrabbitsociety]

Fic Writers: Here’s a soundtrack filled with beautiful, meaningful, sweet, kind of sad songs about blue eyes and the lovely, desperate starcrossed love of my OTP. Me: (Earlier today, in my car) Do you think Crowley thinks of Aziraphale every time “Baby Got Back” comes on the radio? My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.

[exquisitley-obsessed]

Fiancés, Firebirds, Foxes and Fawns: 10

Author: @exquisitley-obsessed

Summary: A few weeks after Briallyn’s attempt at uniting with Koschei, Lucien opens the door of Lockhart Manor to find Elain, cold from the rain and holding a note from the High Lady of the Night Court demanding her to assist Lucien in building alliances with the human councils. Forced to work together by their exhausted High Lord and Lady, Elain is able to convince anyone to do anything, while Lucien has the acquaintances to go anywhere he likes. Together, they attempt to unite the fae and mortal lands and unravel the deal made between Koschei and Vassa, while Lucien remains haunted by his own promise to Elain’s father. ELUCIEN, POST-ACOSF

Pairings: Elain x Lucien, Elucien

Warnings: Nine

A/N: I’ve added a tag list for those who wish to stay updated with this story! Just message me if you wish to be added <3

MY MASTERLIST

THIS FIC’S MASTERLIST

AO3

Chapter Ten: Human not Humane

Huckleberry Hall was thriving with life. Lucien had apparated at the bottom of the pathway leading up to the external arches and courtyard placed before the hall – and there were people everywhere.

Elain saw all walks of life, from noblemen to peasants crowded on the lawns and paths. It was like looking directly into a memory. In another life, Elain would walk among these people with her sisters and parents. Nesta would trot directly behind their mother as she sneered down her nose at the farmers and tanners, Feyre would drift a little further behind, looking up at the clouds in the sky. Their father would walk at the back holding little Elain’s hand, pointing out the flowers and the trees and showing her how to make a trumpet from a leaf.

That was another life and what Elain had always assumed was a happier one.

Mother knows what she thought now.

Lucien and Elain were hidden from sight down the pathway, and it looked as though they were the last to arrive. Looking around, Elain saw stableboys managing a small army of horses, farmers sitting next to wagons full of seeds, grain and fruit, there were even Lords and Ladies, perched under umbrellas in fine chairs, tutting to themselves at the display.

It was so…human.

The rowdy chatter, the children playing hopscotch, the delicacy of these little lives and how they were interwoven with one another. Another way in it being so human was that Elain knew she didn’t fit.

Years ago the sight of all these people would have simply washed over Elain, now it threatened to drown her. Looking around all she could see were people, people and more people. People she didn’t know in a situation she couldn’t control. How long had it been since Elain had spoken to anyone outside the Inner Circle or the Band of Exiles? She hadn’t been taken to any of the meetings with other Courts or any trips abroad – her family hadn’t even told her. They’d just left her alone and hoped she’d be fine.

Breathing started to become a little difficult.

“Are you okay?” Lucien’s voice husked in her ear.

Elain just stared blankly up at him; she wasn’t sure. His own eyes were assessing her carefully.

“If you don’t want to do this just say the word and I’ll take us home.”

Home…

“I’m fine,” Elain said, though a little breathily, “It’s just…I haven’t been around a crowd in a long time.”

She flinched then as a carriage thundered through the woods on a path far to their left, the noise scaring the birds who began a loud chorus of squawking. All of the uproar felt as though it were washing over Elain, dragging her down, suffocating her.

“Hey, Elain, breathe,” Lucien’s hands came up to rest on her shoulders as he pulled himself in front of her, blocking her view of the Hall and all the people surrounding it. Now, her attention was on him.

“Breathe,” he commanded once more before he joined her in taking deep, long breaths. In, out. In, out.

Slowly, the roaring noise and itching anxiety began to fade away as she became encased in the sensation of Lucien. The smell of him surrounding her, his hands on her shoulders, his eyes concerned as they roved over her face.

She wondered if this is how he often felt – like his entire universe sometimes shifted so that she was at the centre.

Once Elain’s breathing had returned to a steady pace for several moments, she felt something tugging from within. Without thinking, Elain brushed up against the bond and was surprised to feel a wave of emotions – Lucien’s emotions – washing over her. She was even more surprised at what those emotions were.

“You’re angry,” Elain whispered after a moment. Lucien shook his head but, he was. His eyes were burning, his jaw set, his brows furrowed – he looked as though he were furiously trying to stop himself from talking. “You are,” Elain prodded because, well, it was a good distraction.

Lucien sighed before looking warily down at her, almost as though he were contemplating telling her whatever it was that had set him off.

“I told Feyre a long time ago that she should’ve been taking you out to see the ocean or sunlight. Instead she…” Lucien trailed off. Elain wished he didn’t, she wished he just said what he so clearly itched to get off his chest.

“I like the indoors,” Elain shrugged.

“Do you?” Lucien cocked his head, “I thought you used to spend all your time in gardens and your greatest wish was to see the continent.”

Elain paused. How did he know about the continent…

Her father. When Lucien had come for Vassa he’d met Elain’s father and he must’ve tried to inconspicuously pick up as much information about her as he could. Maybe once Elain would’ve thought the notion strange but, she couldn’t stop herself from smiling shyly.

“Okay…” Elain tilted her head, “But I needed the indoors.”

“You needed both,” Lucien said as his eyes softened, “Fresh air, new places, new people – they remind us that the world is bigger than the rooms we lock ourselves in.”

The hands on her shoulders began to rub soothingly along her upper arms, and once more Elain’s entire focus zoned in on that point of contact.

“Did you used to lock yourself away?” Lucien grinned.

“Elain, I’m a 400-year-old fae, I’ve spent my fair share moping indoors. Tamlin was the one who eventually had enough, he threw me out into the woods of Spring one day and said if I couldn’t catch anything, I wasn’t eating dinner.”

“That sounds mean,” Elain half-laughed.

“Maybe,” Lucien shrugged, “But it got me out. He was a bastard though, I spent all day in a river collecting enough bass to feed a small army only to come back to the Manor and find an entire spread waiting for me: potatoes, honeyed-ham, even Tipiati – it’s a delicacy from Dawn. It’s this little bird and you cut it open and eat the heart raw-”

“Oh, ugh!” Elain giggled as she scrunched her nose.

“What’s wrong petal? Raw bird heart not sounding good? Wait until I tell you what they do with the eyes-”

“Okay, okay! Feeling better! Ready to seize the day just please, stop talking about those poor birds!” Elain laughed, feeling for the first time in forever the weight on her shoulders disappear.

“I’m going to get you to try it one day,” Lucien grinned, looking rather smug with himself at having made her laugh.

“Oh, in your dreams,” Elain looped her arm through his as they made their way up the path and into the view of the humans.

“Just you wait, if we’re ever in Summer I’m making you try Calamari.”

“I don’t even want to know,” Elain smiled, and for a moment, she forgot where she was.

Because her arm was in Lucien’s and he was smiling down at her as though she were a forest nymph bedecked in moon-flowers and in this moment, everything felt alright.

It was only when they were halfway down the path to the Hall, that Elain began to remember where she was, and she felt the eyes of the humans – humans she once knew – boring into her. She simply kept her own stare ahead at the open doors of the Hall in which she could see the fiery glint of Vassa’s hair and golden dress.

But her fae hearing picked up on everything. She heard the whisperings of the peasants, both enchanted and disgusted by her beauty, she heard the Ladies muttering to one another about her dress and how disgustingly uncivilised it was.

She heard the Lords grinning to one another about how they knew Elain when she was a little girl. About how they had first dibs…

If she wasn’t mistaken Lucien had gone somewhat rigid next to her and he was once more pulling himself to his full height, looming over everyone in the courtyard. One glance up at him told her that he was wearing his fiercest scowl, his entire being practically thrumming with magic that she knew was hot under the surface of his skin.

Then, Lucien was leaning low, his lips coming close to her ear as he whispered three little words. And then, his voice was the only one that mattered.

“I’ve got you.”

***

Time started to move quickly after their laboured walk into the Hall. Once they were in and grouped with Vassa and Jurian, Elain found herself being introduced to a plethora of Noblemen and Ladies. They shook her hand with introductions and light discussions of who they were and the role they played in the rebuilding of the mortal world. Elain was glad she had spent so much time looking over the documents and contracts as she found herself maintaining elaborate, detailed questions with everyone she came into contact with – and as each successful conversation passed, so did her anxiety, and she truly began to believe she could do this.

She often found herself using the same techniques her mother had taught her when attending balls. Except now, instead of conversations about dowries and marital prospects, she was speaking of trade routes and contractual obligations.

On more than one occasion she came into contact with someone whom she once knew. Some people, such as older, less wealthy men were kind and joyful, telling Elain how they were glad to see she was at least healthy and alive following the Battle against Hybern. With others, Elain could read the quite plain apprehension and slight disgust in the eyes of those she’d once known – particularly of father’s whose sons she’d once been a contender for marrying.

The Hall was busy with chatter as this was also the first meeting in which Queen Vassa was in attendance, and with the two new, unusual arrivals, there were many mortal civilities that needed to pass before everyone was to take their seats in the main hall at the southern end of the building.

Lucien never left her side, but not in a way that felt claustrophobic or hovering, but merely in a way that told her that he had her back. Whenever she tuned into his conversations she found that most mortals responded somewhat well to Lucien. At least, as well as they could given the circumstances. Many mortal Lords were interested in Lucien’s weaponry and experience in battle, there appeared to be an endless amount of questions regarding his sword of choice.

There was only one time in which Elain overheard her name in his discussions.

“Are you and the Lady Elain married then?” Lord McAdams, an old man who owned the human libraries inquired over a glass of port.

“We’re acquaintances, and while she is here she is under my protection,” Lucien replied smoothly. He was the image of relaxation, an easy smile that lit up the room playing on his features.

“Ah, I see,” McAdams winked at Lucien, who merely tilted his head in response.

“Pardon?”

“I won’t tell anyone, of course, you see, it is highly unusual for an unmarried woman to…well to…though it does happen.” McAdams was old enough that he wheezed as he talked.

“I’m quite lost Lord McAdams, though I’m sure you mean well.”

“Of course, of course, my boy. Of course, I mean well,” McAdams chortled, “Besides, I can’t blame you can I? You know I knew Elain when she was a little girl, her father used to take all three of them round to my house so they could have their pick from my libraries. She was the prettiest of them all, even then, and it’s always interesting to see how they…turn out.”

Elain was nodding along as a young Lord who owned the rice fields out West continued to chat extensively about himself. Though at that moment, she felt a pair of eyes searing into her back, particularly her behind. At that moment she didn’t need to reach for the bond to feel the protective fury that was radiating from her mate.

It was strange, but for some reason, she liked it. Some guilty, deep down part of her shuddered in agreement at the idea of Lucien being protective over her in the face of these men. It was almost a nice idea, belonging to him…

“Elain!” A saccharine voice pulled Elain from her internal tribulations and Lucien and McAdams faded away as a silver blur appeared in front of her. “Oh Elain it’s so good to see you again, you look…well!”

Delilah Darlington exploded into the conversation, nudging into the side of the young Lord who grumbled in response. She was bundled in a rather ridiculous silver gown which was bedecked in frills of lace that hung off the fabric like cobwebs. Delilah was beautiful, though, and a sweet kind girl.

She did not deserve the cruelty of someone such as Graysen.

“Delilah, I’m so glad you’re well! Congratulations on your engagement,” Elain said with as much earnest kindness she could muster as she pulled Delilah into a brief embrace.

They’d been friends, once, along with a small gaggle of girls. Nesta couldn’t stand any of them, she saw them as competition at balls and discouraged Elain from forming any kind of relationship with them. Elain had anyways, of course. It was something to look forward to at those balls, something to distract her from the wandering hands and unwanted touches.

“Oh, well, yes I-I uh, I didn’t know you were coming back.” Delilah looked strangely guilty for a moment, and Elain felt something in her chest squeeze. Graysen wasn’t deserving of this girl, and he wasn’t worth coming between them.

“Well I’m only here until some political goals are accomplished, then I’ll probably be heading back over the border.”

“How exciting, you always wanted to travel.”

“Yes,” Elain grinned shyly, touched that Delilah remembered such a trivial detail. Looking around Elain realised that the young Lord had disappeared, and she felt herself relaxing from the forced courtly act she’d been playing.

“It’s wonderful Delilah it really is. Being turned fae has been difficult, more than difficult it’s been…well, it’s been hard, but it’s almost worth it for the beauty of Prythian.”

Delilah, unlike the other mortals who changed the conversation once anything beyond the wall was mentioned, grinned widely and rubbed her hands together.

“I read a book after you were taken over the wall, it was a forbidden scripture from McAdams library that I managed to steal when I was over there. It detailed all things about Prythian, is it true there are Seasonal Courts?”

“Oh yes,” Elain grinned, allowing her courtier’s exterior to crumble, “Lucien hails from the Autumn Court.”

Elain shifted so that she was now standing next to Delilah against the wall and pointed out to Lucien, though there was no need, he stood head and shoulders above everyone, currently nodding along to something a small gaggle of women were chatting about.

“Oh of course, I can see it now,” Delilah muttered with a smile, but Elain was fixated and the now growing group of women that were trying to gain her mate’s attention. Delilah, seeing Elain’s line of sight, smiled wider. “They do that every week. They’re all eligible brides, see there’s Isobel and Lottie…not that they would ever admit it, but I think some of them want him to propose.”

“Propose?” Elain couldn’t stop herself from spluttering, feeling a protective fiery anger move through her at the thought. The idea that these women had gathered week after week trying to sway Lucien into offering them his hand in marriage for two years, it made her feel feral.

Lucien was hers.

The thought was like a stone to the head and suddenly the protective rage was cleared, leaving behind her internal shock and confusion had having had such an audacious thought. But by the way Lucien was now grinning slyly at the women before him, his confidence having tripled within the minute, Elain was pretty certain she’d accidentally sent that thought down the bond.

“Is he really your mate?” Delilah asked, her eyes twinkling slightly. Elain stayed quiet for a moment, and then.

“Yes. He is. We’re bound together by fate and the Mother herself.”

“That sounds very beautiful,” Delilah said softly, but Elain could not take her eyes away from her Autumn Male. It was like the thought had just truly dawned on Elain, the reality of their situation.

Lucien was her mate. In that way, he was hers.

And she was his.

“It is…”

“The meeting shall begin in ten minutes, please, may you all take your seats!” A loud, brash voice called from the looming doors of the main hall and the crowd began to move in the direction, the babbling only increasing as wives got left behind and Lords could engage in the locker room talk before the politics – Elain didn’t miss the several glances thrown her way as the men’s rowdy chatty began to fill the building.

“I must go but, I’ll see you soon,” Delilah hopped out away from her, giving Elain a quick embrace and a kiss on the cheek before she was waving and disappearing into the crowd. The crowd where her fiancé no doubt was hidden.

She had not yet seen him.

Just as she was about to lose herself in the throng, Lucien was in front of her, pushing through the men as though they were no more than butterflies to swat at. Before she could say anything, he was holding out his arm with a slight bow.

“Lady.”

Unable to help herself, Elain grinned at her mate as she looped her arm through his and was rewarded with an equally bright grin back. Lucien led them through the crowd into the hall, people parting for them as though they were a plague to be avoided. Elain didn’t mind, especially if it meant no one would stand on her train.  

“They can’t take their eyes off you.” Lucien didn’t move as he spoke, he merely muttered the words under his breath and had he been talking to any mortal, they would’ve been lost on the wind. But Elain’s fae-hearing picked them up, and she felt a shiver run the length of her spine at the secret conversation in plain sight.

“Feeling territorial?” Elain surprised herself by husking back.

“It would seem I’m not the only one.” She didn’t need to look at him to know he was smirking coyly.

“I don’t like the way they talk about me,” Elain moved on before her cheeks could start burning, “The men who watched me grow up.”

“It’s repulsive.” All humour left her mate’s tone. “If it soothes your mind know that I won’t let them lay a finger on you.”

“I don’t know if touching is the problem so much as the looking.”

“That dress isn’t doing us favours I’m afraid.”

“Oh, do you wish for me to get rid of -”

“Don’t,” Lucien said too quickly, his arm going rigid from where it was interlinked with hers. Elain smirked. “It’s…it’s a fine dress.” Lucien tried to concede.

“I think so.”

“It reminds me of home.” Elain stole a glance at him then.

“Because of the fabric?”

“Well yes,” Lucien’s brows furrowed as his eyes met hers, “But…that dress was my mothers.” Elain felt her shock roll through her. His mother’s? But this was a gift from Mor – right?

“You didn’t know,” Lucien mused, now seemingly unable to take his eyes off of her. Elain shook her head. “Ah, of course, I gave it to Nuala the other day, she wouldn’t take it until I said it was from Mor.”

“I’ll…have to ask her about it. Why do you have your mother’s dress?”

“Eris delivered it months ago, apparently she’d heard of our bond and wished to gift it to you as a mating present.”

“Oh-”

“I don’t intend to – I’m not giving it to you for that reason I just, I explained to Nuala my thinking about how the fabric and style is perfect for setting intention.” Elain just drifted next to him, turning his words over in her head.

“Is this why you are always dressed so finely, because it is a political motive?” Lucien, to her surprise, grinned wickedly.

“Nothing is coincidental, Elain, from the clothes we wear to the way we talk.”

“Whose we?” Lucien shrugged.

“I would’ve said Autumn Court Males but, I believe it is only Eris whom I share that trait with. Ah, here we are.”

The hall was set up like a Courtroom, with certain families, estates, and job sectors, sectioned off into small groups. Elain and Lucien, being the representatives for The Fae were somewhat isolated from everyone else. They were near enough to Vassa and Jurian who were bickering quietly from where they were seated to their right. The room was still squabbling and rowdy with chatter, and there were only men besides Elain and Vassa. The other mortal queens were not even present.

Elain’s eyes unwittingly began to search for Graysen. For some reason, not having seen him yet was making her nervous, it felt as though the longer she waited, the worse it was going to be. She just didn’t want to have anything sprung upon her.

Perhaps with the bond having been in more use the past few days, it seemed that Lucien was somehow easily able to gleam that Elain’s attention had returned to her ex-fiancé. Elain knew because he’d gone rigid next to her.

“What?” Elain prodded, turning to him. With the hall still full of chatter, she wasn’t worried about anyone overhearing their conversation. She’d thought she and Lucien had been good on the Graysen topic following their conversation in the kitchen doorway. Lucien didn’t look at her, instead, he appeared to be assessing the Darlington’s as they made themselves comfortable. “Lucien,” Elain stressed.

“I um, I felt you the other night, when you found out Graysen was engaged,” he began slowly, still not meeting her eye. Elain tugged on his sleeve forcing him to look down at her, she raised her brows questioningly to show she didn’t understand. Lucien breathed deeply, his eyes closing momentarily before he looked deep ahead, avoiding her pleading look. “I could feel what you were feeling.”

The way Lucien looked ahead, his jaw set and his eyes unfeeling, it was as though that little sentence had explained everything. But she was just more confused.

He’d felt her? Her emotions? What had she been feeling? She’d found out that Graysen was engaged, and she felt…She had felt tired, relieved, pitiful even. It was like some door had finally jammed shut after it had been fluttering between open and closed. It was a final sever in their bond and as she had fallen asleep that night, she’d welcomed the end of her time with Graysen. Her dream that night was a reminder that her relief was earned.

How could any of that upset Lucien?

Then Elain realised that Lucien had felt it. That longing, and by the way Lucien was now glaring at his hands, curled into fists in his lap, she’d realised that he may have misunderstood what, exactly, she was longing for.

She didn’t want Graysen. She wanted what he had. Not in terms of Delilah but, she wanted his ignorance, his ability to simply move on and find a new wife. She wanted his strength to not change, to still be who he was, to still have the world the way he wanted it with him at the centre.

She longed for the bliss Graysen had found, simply because that bliss made her agony so much more tender.

Lucien had misread her. She almost sighed with relief. She could fix this; she could simply explain to him why, and the small waves of hurt currently rocking through her would disappear.

Lucien wasn’t Graysen, he wasn’t going to leave her side in an instant just because of a misunderstanding. But even as Elain repeated this to herself as the room quietened and the meeting began, some part of her refused to believe it – some part of her refused to trust.

***

The meeting was rather boring. After all her research and all her note-taking, the first two hours involved discussions Elain had no interest in. It was about internal disputes, farmers angry with one another over borders, fisherman demanding wage rises, etcetera, etcetera. Elain was forced to watch as the Lords and Noblemen sneered down at the lower class, working men and had to bite her tongue the entire time.

It seemed that Lucien shared her disgust, as he regularly whispered quips in her ear about how mortal and fae weren’t so different after all. That the High Fae and these Noblemen had more terrible things in common, such as their treatment of working families and Lesser Fae.

Elain had tried to watch with an assessing eye, categorising the figures she needed to remember for later discussions. But by the time the lunchtime break came about, she was practically falling asleep on Lucien’s shoulder. It was after lunch that the room seemed to clear slightly, the farmers and peasants going home to their families as the topic of the Fae and Queen Vassa was brought up.

Queen Vassa made her introduction to the room, her voice full and powerful as she stood, Jurian watching with an all-knowing smile at her side. There were some small talks about property and Vassa was able to confirm her signature on several contracts.

Lucien got involved in discussions several times, and Elain was more than happy to sit quietly and watch as he worked the room. He was perfect. The way he eased into conversations, the easy-going smiles, the unconfrontational comments on trade routes and Fae resources.

Elain was surprised to notice that several Noblemen had taken a shining to Lucien and seemed to actively pursue his voice in discussions. She could tell a lot of it was fake, the way Lucien grinned at men whom he’d whispered insults about in Elain’s ear but, his courtier’s mask was perfect.

Elain was beginning to think that she might make it through the meeting without having to stand and utter a single word, until Lucien interjected a conversation about wrapping up for the week.

“We must speak of the matter that is Koschei.”

This seemed to be the first thing Lucien had said which the Noblemen did not instantly grin and nod along to. Instead, Elain saw heavy sighs and the rolling of eyes. It would seem that these Lords did not mind discussing with the Fae so long as it was about mortal matters. But talk of Death-Gods and magical firebirds, seemed to rather put them off.

“We have spoken of it. Weeks ago.” Elain heard Lord Nolan’s tired voice swim into the room. He appeared humoured by Lucien’s statement while Lucien simply remained passive. Stoic. They were sitting far to their left, and Elain had already glimpsed Graysen perched next to his father, leaning back in his chair. It was almost like he was trying, and failing, to impersonate Lucien’s image of confident boredom.

“May I remind you, Lord Nolan, that fae resources are only open to you so long as you stick to your word.”

“My word-”

“-yes,” a shimmer of anger was seen in Lucien’s eye, but beyond that his courtier's mask was flawless. “Your word that you would assist both Queen Vassa and her fae acquaintances in disposing of the Death-Lord, whose residence is not far from this very hall.”

“The agreement was to help you reverse the so-called curse placed on the Queen, and as we can all see, Queen Vassa has joined us today and therefore one might consider that vow fulfilled.”

“I am here on bought time,” Vassa now stood, her voice dripping in authority and power as she asserted herself amongst the men, “I shall not explain the means, as the explanation shall no doubt be lost on a room of mortals, but what you see before you is merely a temporary solution to the problem.”

“It would do you well, Queen Vassa, to remember that you too are mortal,” Lord Darlington now husked, his eyes predatory, “Or at least you were…once.”

“Oh don’t worry, Darlington, she’s just as mortal as I am,” Jurian grinned, though the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Darlington merely sneered in disgust.

“The point is Koschei is still at large-” Lucien tried again, the picture of relaxation from where he stood, looming over the room.

“And what do you expect us to do?” Elain felt her heart shudder as Graysen’s voice finally joined the others. It was only a matter of time.

Even though he was speaking to someone else - to Lucien - Elain felt her fight or flight instinct kick in. The last time she had heard that gravelly, low voice, had been when it had broken her heart.

“You fae clearly see us humans as inadequate, as proven by your Queen forgoing explaining her sudden appearance. No doubt caused by some dark magic, the same magic that threatens to infiltrate our lands and poison our people.” Graysen rose to his feet, his voice growing louder, and Elain noticed how much he had aged since she’d last seen him.

It had only been two years but the stress of rebuilding the mortal world without a wall had taken its toll: thinning hair, lines around his mouth, he’d also put on quite a bit of weight. He was no longer the young boy Elain had fallen in love with, a dreamer who wished to rid the world of evil beings. He was a man with a heart full of hate.

“Two things,” Lucien’s own voice didn’t waver as he turned to address Elain’s ex-fiancé, and she wondered how much they’d had to see of each other over the past two years. “One, Vassa is not my Queen. Two, it is somewhat hilarious to watch you whine like a pup over Queen Vassa not explaining to you her magic, when you are already so prejudiced to not comprehend the difference between the fae and Koschei. There is no magic seeking to infiltrate your lands apart from the work of the latter.”

“Koschei is fae-”

“-Koschei is a Death-God.” Lucien’s tone turned cold, and at that moment the sun dipped behind the clouds. “A survivor from the time of Old Gods. He is not fae, he is a threat to us as much as he is a threat to you.”

“The threat to humans are all fae and everything that comes with them.”

“The fae of Prythian have no interest in humans-”

“Oh please, one must only look to my ex-fiancé for proof of their machinations.”

The room went cold. The sun having now truly disappeared from sight, leaving behind a world of blue and grey shadows.

“Look at her, look at her unnatural beauty. Many of us knew Elain, the true Elain Archeron, the human one. She was beautiful but plain of the mind but set to live a normal, human life. Now look at her, she’s no better than a siren or a nymph, her beauty is of a freak nature and it’s only purpose is to lure you in, to cover the ugly truth underneath. Her and her two sisters were turned, stolen from their beds in the middle of the night and taken across the wall. I’m surprised to see you here Elain,” Graysen had been talking theatrically to the room, but that last sentence was personal, intimate. And when he caught Elain’s eye, she could only think one thing.

She hated him.

“Surprised but I suppose that’s my own fault, you always had a small fortune of ugly secrets you liked to keep hidden - and to think I almost fell into a marriage with you. You see, this is another reason the fae wish to infiltrate our lands, they wish to take our wives. Elain was stolen and turned only to be given to the male we see before us,” Graysen held his arm out to where Lucien was standing, still as stone at Elain’s side.

“This male was able to lay a claim on Elain the second she was turned. We’ve all heard of the mating bond.” A ripple of disgusted murmurs went around the room. “At that moment Elain, my soon to be wife, belonged to a fae male. Mother knows what atrocities occurred in the time between their mating and the moment Elain finally remembered her fiancé and came back home.”

Outrage and disgust were expressed around the room, and Graysen looked almost gleeful as he assessed the crowd.

“These two, this harlot and her owner-“

Elain shot out a hand and gripped the fabric of Lucien’s trousers if only to stop him from burning the boy to a crisp from where he stood.

“-have come here to mock us! They have come as a warning, to show us what will happen to our people - our women - if we allow this alliance with the fae to continue!” There were shouts of encouragement swelling from the crowd. “If we continue on this path then our women will look like her, horrid in their beauty. And worse, our women will belong to him as Elain belongs to him, as little more than a personal prostitute!”

There was something feral in Lucien’s eye as he glared at Graysen across the room. But while her mate was focused on her ex-fiancé, Elain was drowning in the leering coming from the crowd. People she had just introduced herself to a few hours earlier and had pleasant conversations were now staring at her with revulsion and disgust. She heard shouts of people calling her a ‘witch’, people telling her that she had no shame, that she was to burn in hell.

With her hand fisted in Lucien’s trouser leg, Elain drowned it out, she drowned it all out, and reached for the bond within.

Lucien was a tempest. Brushing up against the bond, Elain herself could feel the fire in his veins, could envision the rings of his powers, burning hotter and hotter all the way down to his golden core. The mating bond was taut in his skin, demanding him to defend Elain, to rip out the throat of anyone who would insult her. But there was another anger there too, a personal one. Lucien was furious on Elain’s behalf; she could read that now. He thought so highly of her and to hear lesser men insult her was turning him livid.

Sharply, Elain tugged on the bond and in an instant, his eyes snapped to hers.  

There was so much emotion in that one look. Concern, fury, bitterness, doubt. It was all there for her to see; he didn’t dilute anything. With as much delicacy and care as she could muster, she slipped her hand from his pant leg into the hand that was dangling by his side.

Slowly, she rose to her feet.

“It is true,” she began, and she felt Lucien’s hand squeeze her own. “I was stolen in the middle of the night by a group of fae. They stole me across land and ocean, all the way to Hybern. It is there where I was thrown into the Cauldron, the maker of all life, and transformed into a High Fae. This is all true.

“But my transformation was an irregularity, an unfortunate yet calculated political move whereby the King of Hybern attempted to get back at my sister for her killing of Aramantha. I expect you to all remember the King of Hybern, given that your own armies joined the fae in the Battle that catalysed these meetings two years ago.

“The King of Hybern was evil. Not the fae of Prythian. The King of Hybern was your enemy and the threat to human life. Not the fae of Prythian. Those such as Lucien here fought for your freedom. Fae died on that battlefield for you to stand here today, and you repay them by villainising them.

“There needs not be any animosity between these mortal lands and the fae realms of Prythian. I grew up like you, believing the fae were evil incarnations that existed to tempt human morality. But unlike you, I have travelled Prythian, I have seen fae from all walks of life, and the reality is the cautionary tales we all heard growing up were nothing more than fiction.

“The fae have homes, wives, children. They have towns and cities, farms, libraries and schools. They wake up each morning and go to work and each evening they have dinner with their families.

“This alliance is not about turning humans into fae, nor turning fae into humans. It’s about recognising life and seeking to protect it from those who might threaten it - and Koschei threatens all of us. We know he seeks to free himself from the confines of his lakeside Manor, we know he wishes to seek vengeance for his imprisonment. But there is much we do not know.

“We do not know how Koschei was bound to the lake, how he steals women of this land and turns them into swans, why he took Vassa, nor what it will take for him to be free. That is why this alliance is paramount.

“Koschei has a fascination with the mortals, he steals mortal women and mortal Queens. His residence is only a few miles south from here, deep in the forest. It is because of this we need mortal alliances.

“You do not need to believe the fae are good, nor must you trust us. But you must understand that all we wish to do is destroy a being who threatens everyone in this room. The alliance need not be a happy one, but it is needed.”

The room had quietened, the shouting had stopped. People were listening to her, and Elain had finally found her voice.

Lucien’s hand squeezed her own and she realised they were both standing before the room of mortals. She could only have an idea of what they must’ve looked like, side by side, glistening with the beauty of the Fae. They must’ve looked united and commanding.

They must’ve looked powerful.

Then, across the room, a man got to his feet. Looking at him for a moment, Elain realised it was the young Lord she had been speaking to with Delilah who owned the rice fields out West. He looked tentative and young as the spotlight fell on him, but when he met Elain’s eye, she saw a fierceness burning there.

“What do you need?”

***

Lucien wanted to get Elain home quickly after the meeting. Today had been unusually tiring, what with Elain’s debut in that dress this morning to the crowds turning on his mate halfway through the meeting. He just wanted to go home.

Correction, he needed to get Elain home and safe and away from these horrible men and their horrible thoughts.

A few noblemen came forth following the meeting expressing their devotion to helping Elain and Lucien in tackling the problem of Koschei. Most of them were young Lords who had come into their father’s wealth unexpectedly after the war, and their hearts had not yet had a chance to become polluted with years of hatred for the fae.

That was a success. No matter how often Lucien had tried to convince the noblemen to even speak of Koschei in the meetings, it seemed that the missing element was both Elain and Queen Vassa.

But before long Lucien had had enough. He wanted Elain home and safe now, and expressing a few half-hearted apologies he looped Elain’s arm through his and guided her out down the pathway before winnowing away without a second notice.

They made their way to the house with some small talk about how well the meeting had gone (Lucien tried his hardest not to spend all his time grovelling about how amazing she was and how fierce and strong she’d looked when addressing the crowds). The maids were there waiting for them with a pot of tea whilst they began on dinner.

It seemed that the meeting had gone on well into overtime and the sun was now distinctly plummeting towards the horizon. But when Vassa and Jurian finally made it back on horseback, there was only Jurian who entered the living room with a glass of whiskey.

“Where’s Vassa?”

“She decided to get her firebird overtime out the way,” Jurian sighed, something bitter in his eye as he flopped carelessly on the couch next to Lucien.

“Does that mean she won’t be turning back tonight?”

“We assume so, we’re not sure how the ring works but if Koschei’s little note is correct then I believe we won’t be seeing Vassa for a few days.”

Lucien cursed under his breath. Jurian just looked tired and…angry.

“There was a note?” Elain asked from where she was perched on her armchair, her legs tucked up underneath her, her dress outlining every curve of her body.

“Yes,” Jurian eyed her for a moment, “You did well out there princess, Lord Cao looked practically ready to sign you his battlements.” The Lord who had spoken at the end of the meeting.

“We talked after,” Elain mused, her finger running around the lip of her glass, “His residency is the closest to Koschei’s manor and he’s invited all of us to come visit, I think if we get close enough we may be able to get a read on the magic that’s bound to the manor.”

“Oh, fun, a day trip,” Jurian sighed bitterly, something clearly having aggravated his mood. He turned his scowl to Lucien. “Are you really going to let your mate within a mile of that place?”

Something dark flickered in Lucien’s eye.

“If Elain deems it a worthy trip then of course we must go. I thought you were interested in seeing Vassa free of the curse?”

“Of course I’m interested in seeing Vassa free, why do you think I’m here?” Jurian hissed.

“To generally give the manor a feeling of unease?”

“To make rude comments about people’s sisters in an attempt to start a fight?” Elain added.

“To make indecent comments about people’s mates in an attempt to-”

“Alright, alright. Mother, you two are no fun.” Jurian rolled his eyes, but some of the tension seemed to leave his body at the teasing. “Have you already eaten?”

Elain and Lucien nodded and Jurian got up with a stretch.

“Yum, leftovers for me then,” was all he said before he headed for the door.

“Jurian,” Elain called, “That note Koschei sent with the ring, could I see it?” Jurian glanced between her and Lucien, seeming to think before he nodded.

“I’ll send it up to your room in the morning," was all he said before he left the room. And once more, Lucien and Elain were left alone with nothing but a crackling fire.

There was a tension there that hadn’t been there before, or maybe it had, maybe they’d both just been too ignorant to see it.

The reality was there would always be that tension between them, that intrigue and possibility. Looking at her now, curled in an armchair, the dress having turned a glittering emerald in the firelight, he felt every inch of his skin respond to her.

Not for the first time, an unplanned fantasy strolled through his mind. An image of himself getting up off this couch and walking over to her, of him placing his knee on her armchair, in between her thighs, capturing her throat in his hand and lowering his lips to hers.

One blink and the image was gone. Perhaps it was the bond showing him these things, taunting him with a possibility that at this moment seemed unachievable.

“I, um, I wanted to talk to you actually,” Elain spoke into the silence, and briefly Lucien fretted if his scent had changed.

“Oh?”

“Yes…about Graysen.” Lucien’s hope dropped like lead in his gut.

“Oh.”

“I just wanted to say that I think you misread my emotions when I found out he was engaged which, I mean that’s not your fault. This whole bond kind of disrupts communication.”

Lucien just nodded. Looking at her, he saw the strands of hair that had come loose around her face, he wondered if they were as soft as they looked.

“I’m not upset about it. I don’t want him anymore,” Elain said plainly. “I just…I guess I want what he has.”

Lucien blinked. That wasn’t what he was expecting.

“What, specifically, do you want?” The words were careful, calculated.

“I’m not sure…his happiness? His ignorance?” Elain seemed to scowl slightly and then she was standing, setting her drink on a nearby table as she turned to the fire to warm her hands. Lucien pondered for a moment, definitely not using that time to worship at the way the dress followed the swell of her behind and, Mother help him, her thighs. Then he was up, moving around the table to join her at the fire.

Elain turned and watched him approach with an enigmatic stare, the fire reflecting in her glassy eyes.

“Graysen’s life is perhaps an easier one,” Lucien eventually breathed, “But whilst yours may prove more difficult, it is certainly more worthwhile.” Elain paused as she pondered his thoughts, and Lucien once more allowed himself to drink from her ever-flowing fountain of beauty.

“I just, I think it’s all so unfair.” She wrapped her arms around herself.

“Why?”

“Because why does he get to be happy? Why does he get to continue to live his life and just find someone else to marry? Is there no such thing as justice?”

“You are free to seek retribution Elain-”

“And give the humans further reason to hate the fae?”

 Lucien blinked. The timing of Graysen’s death would be unfortunate, but Lucien wanted to see the boy dead, even if that meant tomorrow an army would be at his door.

“The humans should be grateful the fae are ridding them of such vermin,” Lucien couldn’t help himself from spitting as he glared out the window. But not before he caught Elain giving a weary look and for the first time, he realised just how tired she looked. The way her shoulders hung forward and her arms curled limply around herself. Something akin to agony washed through him at the sight of his exhausted mate, followed by the overwhelming need to fix it, to take her into his arms and protect her from all the things that worried her. Lucien had to fold his arms tightly across his chest to stop himself from reaching out.

“I don’t want to have any revenge when it comes to Graysen because it’s not going to make me feel better,” Elain looked at the fire as she spoke, and Lucien hated the wobble in her voice. He hated that he didn’t know who was making her cry – him or the boy.

“It might.”

“No. It wouldn’t,” she said with such ferocity Lucien was temporarily reminded of Nesta. “You know why?” Elain scowled, her eyes tightening and her lips turning down into a cruel frown.

“Because I would’ve still loved him if he’d been the one to come back changed. I would’ve still married him, and I would’ve told him it’d be alright, and we’d figure it out together – and killing him isn’t going to change the fact that he wouldn’t do the same for me. That he would’ve never done that for me; and that means he never loved me the way I loved him. You don’t get Lucien. Killing him means nothing because there is nothing I can do to him to make him hurt even half as much as he hurt me because he simply, doesn’t, care. He will never even comprehend what he did to me. He will spend the rest of his life, even if that life ends tomorrow, in blissful ignorance of what he did and the damage he caused. Hurting him back would just be so…so pointless, and…I’m tired.” Elain curled in on herself with an exhausted, angry sigh.

“I know you think I came here because I was ready to finally deal with this…with us,” she met his eye and hunched herself into a smaller ball, her arms winding further around herself, “But that’s not it. I came here because I’m tired and there nothing left for me and, and I’m running out of-of-I’m running out of-”

She was starting to hyperventilate. Madja had warned her of this, the panic attacks that had become a side effect of her depression. She needed to breathe, she needed to calm down, she needed-

Lucien crossed the room in three strides. Some part of Elain wanted to recoil at him approaching her with such ferocity in his step and steel in his eye, but she couldn’t be scared of him. She could be afraid of the bond and what it meant to her, what he meant to her, but Lucien would never hurt her. Ever. That she knew.

He’d stilled in front of her, looking down at her enigmatically. She’d run out of words, and she didn’t know if Lucien understood what she was attempting to say. Every part of her was ready to just break down from how exhausted she was.

The silence drew on. The tension turning palpable, and when she was just about ready to fall to her knees and let the agony take over, his arms wrapped around her, and he pulled her firmly against his chest.

Elain let out a small sob as her face was pushed into the fabric of his shirt, her head resting against his upper ribs and lower chest. She’d never been so aware of how different they were in size; he was the tallest of them all and she the shortest. But it felt…good. And maybe she was touch-deprived, or maybe she was just deluded, but she found herself burrowing into him. He was so warm, and with his arms around her she felt like…like he had her. Like it didn’t matter if she let go and just crumpled because he had her and he wasn’t going to let her hit the floor.

At this point, falling was inevitable. Elain had been falling for some time, plummeting down and down after the Cauldron had tipped her out and washed her corpse on jagged stones. But with Lucien holding her she considered, for the first time, having a soft place to land.

She didn’t want him to see her cry, so she burrowed deeper. Her arms were still curled around her torso; Lucien’s curled around her back. Both of them holding onto her and keeping her together. A few seconds, minutes, hours of silence and she realised that after this, she could never forget how he smelt. Apples, warmth, musk, fresh Earth, smoke. Familiar and foreign. A stranger but…hers.

He smelt like an evening, an Autumnal evening, with a brilliant streaking sunset. The kind where it seemed like the sun had never been so alive, where the sun took the sky and turned into its masterpiece.

He was that masterpiece. The Autumnal sky. The Autumnal Sun.

Sighing, Elain waited for him to recoil. For his arms to slacken and for him to move away, for them to nod awkwardly at each and then go to bed and try to pretend that this conversation hadn’t happened. But time ticked by, and Lucien didn’t let go. If anything, his steely grip only tightened. As though with each passing second, where Elain expected him to drift away, he set out to hold on tighter. Their words had run out tonight, but Elain heard the message he was saying as he held her closer and closer. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.

Elain breathed him in, and allowed herself to stay.

***

Right then, she wanted to tell him that she didn’t know how to do this, but she knew she didn’t want to hurt him. She wanted to say that she wasn’t sure if she could love again, that she might be a lost cause because Graysen had so thoroughly ruined her trust, and she wasn’t sure how high she’d built the walls around both her heart and mind. She wanted to say that she was lonely, and that she thought he was too, and what a funny pair they were in this world full of light and dark. Where good came in the form of people who made them both feel so alone.

She wanted to say that she was at a breaking point and had been for some time. That even though the war had ended it still raged within her. That no one else seemed to care because they’d got the happy endings whilst she just…existed.

She wanted to say that she didn’t know what she wanted. That her dream of being a wife and mother had been buried when she first tried to kill herself, three days after the Cauldron. Because how could she care for anyone else, especially a child, when she couldn’t care for herself.

She wanted to say that right now, in this moment, she just wanted to know him.

She just wanted a friend.

She wanted…

She wanted…

She wanted to run away and never look back. She wanted to damn the world that damned her. She wanted a brain that worked. A family she felt connected to. Someone to care.

Someone to fucking care. That was all.

But for now, this was enough. Lucien pulling her into his arms before she finally collapsed was enough. And so, tonight, she’d sleep. And that was enough too.

[bisexualbuck]

My 911 Fic Writing Masterlist

(Last edited May 28th 2021)

I’ve finally decided to do a masterpost of all my writing for the show 911 which is the fandom I’ve written the most for. There are 33 fics in this post, holy crap.

(If anyone is interested, I’ve also written for Star Trek AOS, Leverage, the MCU, among many other fandoms.)

As a general note, I’ll say most of my fics have Buddie elements and I also try to have at least one Firefam moment. Also, please check each fic’s warnings.

This is going to be long so most of it will be under a read more.

Last thing, please! If you like any of these stories, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging this post.

Multi Chapter

Reaching In The Dark | 38.7k

It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

Leave My Body | 23k

"Do you want to see how it could have been? You are so sure you've been a burden on everyone you've ever met, but I can show you the truth."

.

Buck dies but it's not the end.

(Inspired by the movie It's a Wonderful Life)

Encore | 20.1k

“I’m going insane.”

“Did something happen?”

A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.

“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”

.

Or

Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.

Hurt/Comfort

Death, Be Not Proud | 10.1k

There are moments barge loudly into your life and, even as you’re going through them, you know they will change everything.

There are other moments that happen quietly, unnoticed, and it’s only afterwards that you know, looking back, that they have changed your life.

When the 118 is called to a decrepit house, they don’t think much of it.

Yet this will change their lives forever.

Silent Storm | 4.4k

Buck wakes up in the hospital.

Except he can't move. He can't speak.

But he can hear everything.

Dying Of The Light | 4.1k

If Purgatory was a place on Earth, it would be a hospital waiting room.

Or

Buck is in a coma, brain-dead - or so that's what the doctors say anyway.

(Silent Storm told from the Firefam's POV)

No Kingdom To Come | 8k

Days pass, then weeks that soon turn into months. Buck doesn’t call, he doesn’t text.

They don’t even know if he is still alive.

Maddie files a missing person’s report. Athena checks for any mention of his name anywhere in the country.

Nothing pops up, no one calls.

Buck is gone.

The Courage To Heal | 1.4k

He remembers her perfume. Thick, flowery – it makes him retch.

Why does he remember her perfume? Every time he smells anything like it, he wants to throw up, he wants to rush in the shower and try to wash away the stink of it.

Why can’t he move on?

He’s had sex with countless people over the years, especially back in his Buck 1.0 days, so why does that encounter remain? Why does it make him sick?

Why does he feel so ashamed?

.

Buck opens up about Dr Wells, the therapist from season 1.

The Loneliness Never Left Me | 2k

“Buck is afraid he is gonna end up like Red, without friends, without family. He thinks the job is the only thing he’ll ever have and that he’ll always be alone.”

Silence falls around them, heavy and suffocating.

“We need to show him that he’s got us."

“Not show him,” Chim says. “Tell him.”

Forever Day | 2k

The man pulls a gun out.

He aims it at Buck’s head.

“If you take another step I will blast your brains on the ground."

Hollow | ~300

Bobby on the day of his late wife and kids’ deaths, with Athena by his side.

Those Days | ~600

A look into Eddie and Christopher having a bad day made better by having each other.

Little Hope | ~500

A moment of support between two friends, Karen and Eddie, as Hen lays unconscious in a hospital bed.

Firefam Feels

Alone Again | 1.2k

Post S04E04

After standing up for himself to his parents, Buck feels hollow.

He isn't sure how he finds himself at Athena and Bobby's home, but maybe that's exactly where he needs to be.

Make It Three | 3.2k

It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.

Oh no. Oh no.

Buck just hung up on the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.

Oh no.

.

Or

Buck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.

Words Unsaid | 2.2k

“What’s going on?” Bobby and Buck say in unison.

“You two,” Athena announces, “are going to talk things out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buck says, like a liar. “Everything is fine.”

.

Buck overhears Bobby say that he's not his kid. He doesn't take it very well.

Lay You Down | 2k

Buck is sick and can't be left alone in his feverish state, but everyone is working.

Everyone but Athena.

That Which We Carry | 2.1k

Bobby stops in his tracks.

Buck is sitting on the ground, next to his own car, his keys and phone forgotten next to him. His breathing is loud and short and he has his head in his hands so that his face is hidden.

He’s having a panic attack.

To Be Loved, To Belong | 3.1k

5 times Buck almost tells his family what they mean to him.

+1 time he does.

Buried | 2.3k

It’s supposed to be a simple call.

Of course, everything goes wrong.

Just As It Was | 2.3k

After the lawsuit, Buck overworks himself trying to prove his worth to the team.

One day, he pushes too far.

Sunlight | ~500

The Buckley siblings have a bet about what Maddie and Chim’s kid’s first word will be.

Family Matters | ~500

A look into the future at Bobby’s retirement party.

Humor & Fluff

Freedom In Love | 1.1k

“You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.

She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.

“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”

Green Heart | 3k

Buck starts seeing a man.

Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.

What else could it be?

The Most Perfect Moment | 1.7k

After Shannon, Eddie never thought that he would ever want to get married again.

Yet, a little red box lays in his pocket until the perfect moment to propose comes around.He has been carrying it for weeks now, waiting.

He wants his proposal to be perfect because he knows that this is the last time he will ever be asking this question. Buck is it for him. There will never be anyone else.

Blame It On Chimney | 1k

“So anyway, that’s how Chimney saw me full-on naked.”

Eddie chokes on his beer.

How It Looks | ~400

Someone is back to haunt Chim. Well, not exactly someone. Hen is tired.

The Rest Of Our Lives | ~500

One night, one conversation that changes everything between Buck and Eddie.

Tumblr Prompts

lover, be good to me | 7.1k

This is a collection of unrelated prompts first posted on my tumblr.

(Summary of each story in the first chapter's notes)

Eddie touching Buck’s birthmark | ~300

Eddie in a relationship is a clingy Eddie | ~200

Halloween at the station | ~500

Buck & Maddie being their cute selves |  ~400

Misc.

from the bottom i come running | 3.7k

Co-written with the endlessly talented ksmalltalk / @letitialewiss​

Crossover with Lone Star.

Just a soccer match for charity and two men cheering on their boyfriends.

Wait, no. Eddie and Buck are not dating, no matter what Chim and Hen can say.

Or

In the stands, Eddie befriends TK whose boyfriend is playing alongside Buck. Out on the pitch, Buck and Carlos are a force to be reckoned with.

Oh, and someone gets hurt.

safe inside | 5.6k

Co-written with the biggest-brained and most talented chasingobligion / @starlightbuck​

World-famous actor TK Strand and his bodyguard Carlos find themselves seeking shelter from fans and paparazzi in a bakery Carlos knows very well.

Or

Baking leads to a few life changes.

Breathe You In | 2k

Eddie can’t stop staring.

This selfie is going to be the death of him.Buck is shirtless, and giving the camera an intense look that leaves Eddie panting.

Or

Buck sends a picture that tips their relationship into something new.

[dovechim]

bam! you got scammed! 01 (m)

➾ 10k

➾ warnings: excessive mentions of cum, mentions of unsanitary usage of cum, squirting dildo, cam girl/ cam boy AU, male masturbation, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, slight slut shaming, unprotected sex, creampie 

➾  summary: some might say it's unethical. some might even say you’re a scammer. in this dog eats dog world, the line between right and wrong is a grey area indeed. but as a cam girl, there’s no such thing as work ethic, at least not to you. 

jeon jeongguk learns the hard way when he falls for your scam, but you can be sure he isn’t about to let you get away with this. 

➾ a/n: first of all, i truly apologise for using two gifs. i couldn’t, for the life of me, find a better gif of jeon when he’s pissed off and he does THAT thing with his tongue. you all know what I'm talking about. i hate myself so much because i had to look at so many pictures of jeon while searching for that second gif T___T

anyway, this is the first fic i’ve written where i stopped so many times and asked myself, what the hell am i writing? is this too weird?? but i am thankful for the friends i talked to and the encouragement they gave me :”) it got so long that i had to split it into two parts. the second part will be uploaded next week! 

♡♡♡

Blinking red hearts on the top left of your computer screen. A red dot indicating that your webcam is on and currently filming. Numbers that climb higher and higher by the second, accompanied by a never ending stream of comments in the sidebar.  And every now and then, a bright, happy chime that indicates someone has donated to your stream.

From your point of view, this is all that you see as you spread your legs wider, making sure the camera can capture all the mess that you’ve been making of yourself for the past hour. Your cute bunny hat slips down your forehead as you stroke the dildo in and out of yourself faster, watching the influx of comments praising you and urging you on.

cherry_chim013: whose cum is it this time? jackedasjeon: mine, of course jackedasjeon: it IS mine, right? handfulofhobi: not likely… we all know you don’t have that much cum considering how much u jerk off cherry_chim013: hahhaahfsd shit my dick slipped out of my hand jackedasjeon: SHUT UP jackedasjeon: how do u even jerk off with such a tiny dick?

“Oh come on guys… don’t fight,” you pout, sticking out your lower lip as you take the opportunity to rest your arm for a moment. “I’m sure jackedasjeon’s load is more than satisfying. I’d love to find out for myself one day…”

Normally, with the amount of comments that fly past, you have a hard time reading each and every one while trying to look sexy getting yourself off, but since these three subscribers happen to be your top contributors, their usernames are specially highlighted, and their comments are pinned in place for a few seconds.

handfulofhobi: does that mean it isn’t his?? cherry_chim013: HEY! my dick isn’t small, thank u very much

“I can vouch for cherrychim,” you giggle as you take out the dildo currently buried in your pussy. “I’d say he could give this one a run for its money?”

jackedasjeon: stop playing around babygirl jackedasjeon: i don’t care whose it is anymore jackedasjeon: i just want to see you cum

“Someone’s a little impatient tonight?” You raise an eyebrow at his demanding and insistent messages. “I haven’t even revealed whose cum it is yet… I got such a surprise when I went to pick up the package a few days ago. You gave me SO MUCH cum! Don’t worry, I didn’t spill any while transferring it in here.”

Your sentence ends with a giggle as you hide your face behind your hand, pretending to be embarrassed. Just then, a chime comes from your computer.

jackedasjeon has donated 500 coins!

You sit up a little straighter. ‘jackedasjeon’ has always been a consistent contributor to your streams, starting off with smaller amounts, but this is the most he’s ever given you. You give a little smooch to the camera as you sink the dildo into your pussy all the way, your face screwed up as it bottoms out inside you.

“Ah, it feels so much bigger today, I don’t know why,” you frown in confusion as you continue to fuck yourself. “Thank you jackedasjeon! Who knows… maybe you’ll get lucky next time? But for today, I’m very pleased to reveal that this huge load of cum that’s about to go in my pussy belongs to…”

You pause and reach for the shipping label that you had torn off, address and personal information scribbled out with black marker, leaving only the username visible. Showing it to the camera, you pause for a few seconds, making sure everyone has time to see what’s written on it.

“… handfulofhobi!” Your bright grin grows even wider as the subscriber conveys his delight with a hefty donation of 1000 coins. “Now now, don’t sulk, jackedasjeon. You too, cherrychim! There’s always a next time!”

You put the label away and lean closer to the camera as you start to whine and pant, inching closer and closer to your orgasm. In the midst of this, you read out several other random subscriber’s names in an effort to make everyone feel included. Then, your other hand reaches for the pump beside you, and as your walls clench around the dildo, you press it hard a few times, causing cum to spurt out of the head of the dildo and fill you up.

“It’s so thick… thank you hobi,” you giggle as you slow down your thrusting, reaching to redirect the camera in between your legs. The sheer amount of cum inside you makes everything so much sloppier, and soon the white liquid starts to leak out of you, turning frothy due to your thrusts. Still squeezing the other end to drain all the cum inside the dildo, you lazily push it in and out of your cunt. “You filled me up so well… thank you! I can only imagine what it’d be like to have you cumming inside me for real…”

You end off with a sigh, bringing your fingers down to play with your messy slit as you let the dildo slip out of you. Brushing your clit a few times, you make slightly tortured noises of overstimulation that your viewers love and enjoy, all in the name of putting up a show for them.

After a few minutes, you push the camera back so that your entire body is in the frame once more. You gather the sticky cum that stains your thighs, though it doesn’t do much more than spread it around. Pushing one finger into your mouth, you lick and suck the cum from it while maintaining eye contact with the camera, watching the comments suddenly surge.

While you read the comments, you reach for the dildo and suck around the head of it, squeezing the leftover cum inside it onto your tongue and playing with it, letting it drip down your chin onto your cleavage, covered by your pink lace bra.

cherry_chim013 has donated 400 coins! seojoonie has donated 100 coins! handfulofhobi has donated 800 coins! darkhorse015 and three others have donated a total of 400 coins! seojoonie: the best streamer on this fucking site seojoonie: you’d take my cock so well cherry_chim013: FUCK, that’s so hot cherry_chim013: i came all over myself handfulofhobi: oh my god handfulofhobi: it’d be my pleasure to fill u up in person baby jackedasjeon: push it inside you more babygirl jackedasjeon: don’t let a single drop go to waste jackedasjeon: if i were there i’d fuck it back into u

jackedasjeon: i’m still so hard

“Your pleasure is mine, cherrychim,” you giggle, resting your hand on your belly with your legs still wide open. “Today’s stream was made possible by the wonderful handfulofhobi… thank you so much! To everyone else, thank you for taking time to watch me. It was my pleasure,” you blow a kiss to the camera as you start to do your signature outro.

“As always, remember to like and subscribe to my channel if you liked what you saw! And turn on notifications so you’ll know every time I stream. For a chance to fill me with your cum next week, don’t forget to check out the link in the description box! Bye bye!”

You send a last kiss toward the camera before you turn it off for good, seeing the red light dim before you close your legs, grimacing at how sticky and disgusting you feel. Just as you are reaching for a baby wipe to clean up first, a notification pops up on your screen.

✉ jackedasjeon is requesting to send you a private message! ✉

Accept or Reject

You force a smile onto your face. Can’t reject one of your top subscribers, after all. They make up almost half of your monthly income from this site. The only reason why he’s able to even private message you in the first place. You sigh as you click accept, and a chat window pops up.

jackedasjeon is typing… jackedasjeon: i’m still hard… jackedasjeon sent you an image

♡

Jeon Jeongguk stares eagerly at his computer screen for a reply, grey sweatpants pushed down to his knees as he lounges at his computer table. Sure, he’d just stroked his cock for over an hour to his favourite cam girl, and that usually does the trick, but somehow today he can’t get it off. Too many horny bastards in the chatroom talking about how hard their dicks are and how much cum they’d pump her full of.

All just getting in the way of him enjoying his favourite cam girl. He really hit the jackpot when he stumbled upon your stream one lonely, horny weekday after class. You drew him in and captivated him immediately with your satin pink hair, glowing skin, wide, innocent eyes and always with that tantalising cleavage bouncing around on screen. No matter what kind of lewd things you did on screen, you always kept your corset top on, emphasising your tiny waist and making Jeon Jeongguk imagine how he’d wrap his hands around it as he makes your breasts bounce.

But more than that, watching your streams makes him feel like he knows you. Your soft voice, the sound of your laughter, and even when you aren’t doing anything lewd, just talking about your day or what you had for lunch, it makes him feel like he knows you in real life. Sometimes while listening to a lecture or working out, Jeongguk likes to turn on your streams and just hear the sound of your voice to keep him company.

He desperately hopes that you’ll entertain his request even though you officially ended the stream, and you limit your online activity to just that one time a week. Despite that, you easily maintain your position at the top of the leaderboard. It’s probably because you’re the first ever cam girl to offer such a service: each week, one lucky platinum subscriber gets a chance to send you a load (or two!) of cum and watch you fuck yourself full of it with your squirting dildo.

Jeongguk hasn’t had the chance, but after today’s stream, he feels more than hopeful. Just as he’s about to add on to the dick picture he sent, something appears on the screen.

meringuebaby is typing…

Jeongguk does a fist pump, his eyes lighting up in excitement. He rushes to delete the ‘i sent u my dick, pls respond?’ currently in the textbox.

meringuebaby: the stream not enough for you? meringuebaby: im not losing my touch am i…? T__________T

Jeongguk scrambles to type a reply back, his hands shaking. He can’t believe that you would even give him the time of day. You, the top streamer on this site, the hottest cam girl he’s ever seen in his entire life (ok, so he’s only watched your streams so far, but that doesn’t affect his ability to make objective judgements!), is private messaging him!

jackedasjeon: no no! never, babygirl jackedasjeon: i just needed a bit more help today… jackedasjeon: u’ll help me wont u? meringuebaby: of course i will… you’re my favourite subscriber ^^♡

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, and his cock throbs as he rushes to type a reply back onehanded. An onset of pictures interrupts him though, and he opens them one by one to savour them.

They are obviously just taken, and Jeongguk’s dick twitches at the thought of you taking these pictures just for him. The fact that no one else but him has access to these pictures, out of the millons of subscribers you have, makes him even harder. As he strokes his cock to images of your cum filled pussy, your perfect ass and your oh so innocent pout, he cums all over himself, pulling his shirt up just in time so he doesn’t stain it.

“Shit,” he swears under his breath as he pants, struggling to type a reply back to you.

jackedasjeon: my baby always knows exactly what i need jackedasjeon: i came so hard jackedasjeon: your pussy is so perfect

“… Jeon, how many times do I have to call you? Dinner is read- OH MY GOD!” Seokjin immediately covers his eyes and wails. “W-why didn’t you lock the god damn door? I need fucking first aid, your one eyed monster just massacred the entire human race—”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he reaches for his phone to snap a pic of his cum stained abs to send to you, along with a short message thanking you. He doesn’t even bother to hide his slowly softening dick as Seokjin continues to wail about how his mental health will now take a turn for the worse, his crops will die and he’ll get kicked out of school.

meringuebaby: welcome baby, your pleasure is my pleasure ^^ meringuebaby: wow, that’s a lot of cum… shame it had to go to waste T_________T meringuebaby: i really hope you’ll get lucky next week xoxo

meringuebaby is now offline.

Jeongguk is grinning at his screen like a fool, softened dick still out and sweatpants still pooled at his feet.

Yoongi is in the midst of carting a tray of food back to his room when he catches sight of this. Seokjin is still wailing and complaining in the hallway.

“meringuebaby again?” Yoongi glances at Jeongguk’s screen, not half as bothered by Jeongguk’s nudity as Seokjin is.

“Yeah! Hyung, she private messaged with me! Said I was her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk is practicing bouncing up and down with joy, his bunny smile lighting up his entire face.

Yoongi still seems unimpressed, though he does raise an eyebrow when he sees just how much Jeongguk has donated to your stream today. “What does she do again?”

“She lets one subscriber send her his cum every week. Then during her livestream she fucks herself with her squirting dildo and fills herself up with that subscriber’s cum,” Jeongguk rushes to explain, directing Yoongi’s attention to the leaderboard at the top of the page. “She’s the top streamer even though she only goes live once a week!”

Jeongguk takes the time to finally tuck himself back into his sweatpants and wipe the cum off his abs with a tissue as Yoongi scrutinises the page with a doubtful frown. “She… what now?”

“She lets—“ Jeongguk is about to go into his whole tirade again when Seokjin, finally unfrozen from his state of shock in the hallway, regains his senses when he no longer sees Jeongguk’s exposed dick.

“What?? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he laughs as he approaches cautiously, as if Jeongguk’s dick might spring out at any time now. “First of all, that’s disgusting as fuck. Second of all, um… STD risk? Hello??”

Yoongi remains quiet as Jeongguk jumps to his favourite streamer’s defense with a petulant whine. “Ah Jin-hyung!You might think it’s gross, but her thousands of subscribers obviously don’t. And meringuebaby isn’t dumb, of course she makes us send her our test results too!”

“She probably doesn’t even know you exist,” Seokjin rolls his eyes as he walks away.

“She does! She said I’m her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk calls out after the older man. Then he turns to Yoongi. “Isn’t she pretty?”

“She’s hot,” Yoongi admits with a simple nod. “The premise and all… very intriguing. I mean, lots of men love seeing cum filled pussy. But having the chance to have their cum featured on stream? She definitely hit a jackpot right there…”

Jeongguk beams with pride as he gazes at your profile picture at the top of the leaderboard.

“… but you’re totally getting scammed, dude.”

Jeongguk whips his head to turn and look at Yoongi. “What?”

Yoongi only laughs. “There’s no way she’s actually putting a stranger’s cum inside her like that. Even if she makes all of you send in test results, how can she be sure that they’re not fabricated? How can she be sure that it’s not someone else’s test results?”

“No way,” Jeongguk argues back with the utmost determination. “meringuebaby would never do that.”

Yoongi only sighs. When Jeongguk gets like this, there’s almost no way to convince him that he’s wrong. He’s one of the most stubborn people Yoongi has ever met. But that doesn’t stop Yoongi from saying his piece.

“Have you ever seen her actually pour the cum into her dildo?”

“…no, she always starts the stream right to the point. She’s already fucking herself when she comes online.” Jeongguk says in a small voice, but he defiantly pushes his chin up. “She probably doesn’t want to show us the boring stuff, that’s all!” And then a thought strikes him. “She always shows us the shipping label of the package!”

“That doesn’t prove anything, dude,” Yoongi only sighs at the youngest’s naivety. “She probably mixes up a batch of fake cum and loads it in. The consistency is way different, but you can’t tell when it’s in someone’s pussy. That’s how they do it in the porn industry too.”

Jeongguk is very quiet for a moment as he thinks about all the times he’s seen you fuck yourself with your beloved purple squirting dildo. It can’t be fake. You wouldn’t do something like that. Besides… besides! Jeongguk sits up straight with a sudden brain wave.

“Hyung!” He says with such a thunderous shout that even Yoongi, unbothered and unperturbed even if the sky were to come crashing down, jumps a little at the sheer volume. “The cum she uses every stream. They’re always different consistencies. Some thick, some super thin and watery, and some are just globs. If it was really fake cum, they’d all be the same consistency wouldn’t it? This just proves that they’re all from different men!”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. Jeongguk may be a cum connoisseur alright, but he isn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He pats Jeongguk’s back a few times with a pitying smile. “You know what… as long as you’re happy. As long as it makes you happy.”

Then he leaves the younger man still grinning happily at his computer screen.  Yoongi sighs as he hears the clink of coins signifying Jeongguk making yet another donation to your channel.

♡

“You ended later today,” Irene comments as you walk into the kitchen blindly, holding two cotton pads to your eyes. “Someone give you trouble?”

Ever the motherly figure, Irene has always been against you doing something like this. She always worries that someone might recognise you, especially since you’re one of the few top streamers to show your face openly on camera. But you argue back that there’s no way anyone could possibly recognise you. Not with the four hours you spend doing your makeup in the most ridiculous ways: heavy eye makeup, large, dramatic eyelashes with doll like circle lenses, custom made pink Sailor Moon wig. Most of the time you can’t even recognise yourself when you look in the mirror.

“Not really,” you say, not wanting to go into too much detail about the platinum subscriber who private messaged you, lest you freak Irene out even more.

At first, when she found out what you did as a side job (how could you have known that she’d be back from classes early?!) she had a complete meltdown over how “unsanitary”, “dangerous” and “scary” it was to be putting random strangers’ cum inside you. Not to mention how unsafe it was to be giving out your address on the internet! Until you told her you rented a PO box and showed her your stash of fake cum in the highest cupboard of your room, she was a sobbing mess wailing about how she was going to lose her one and only roommate to a nasty STD or worse, a horny, murderous kidnapper.

Now, sometimes she even helps you mix the cum for your streams when you get too busy to do it yourself. You would have thought that she would be too grossed out at the idea of what it was supposed to be, but she only treats it like a cooking project.

“Aren’t you afraid someone might figure it out one day?” Irene asks as she leaves dinner simmering on the stove to head for the fridge. “That this is all just a scam where you put on five push up bras, cover yourself in makeup, and where you don’t actually…”

Her voice trails off in embarrassment.

You peel off one side of the cotton pad, finding it completely stained with makeup and one false eyelash before peeling off the other. The five push-up bras in question are lying discarded on your bedroom floor, taken off the moment the stream ended.

“No one’s gonna find out unless they make a concerted effort to,” you say disinterestedly as you take off the rest of your makeup. “What I’m selling is an image, a fantasy. Those who believe in it won’t go about deliberately trying to ruin the very one thing that they believe in, the thing that gets them off and helps them escape from reality.”

You say this without an ounce of guilt whatsoever.

“If they really believe this—” you turn around and pluck your violet contact lens out of your eye to illustrate, “— is real, then they’re just fools. Sad, lonely fools.”

Technically, what you’re doing isn’t a scam, because do the guys who watch you still get to cum till their balls are empty? Yes.

Are you still fulfilling their fantasy of filling a stranger up with cum? Yes.

Before you started doing this, back when you had first signed up on the streaming website with only a few subscribers to your name, the top comment you always got was how the men wanted to fill you with their cum.

Why not give people what they want? That’s not a crime. You’re simply leveraging upon the laws of supply and demand (so econs class wasuseful after all!).

“Anyway, I just raked in another four hundred plus today,” you turn around bare faced again, scooping up your glasses and putting them on while grinning at your roommate. “You said you needed some textbooks on Monday right? They’re on me.”

“Oh ______... I can’t! It’s your hard earned money,” Irene hesitates as she scoops out the tofu stew she’d been slaving over for the past hour into bowls. “You should keep it for yourself.”

Irene always helps you with your streams, does your makeup and cooks you dinner even if she’s busy with school. This is the least you can do for her. You frown at her as she hands you a bowl of rice.

“Don’t even argue with me. I already ordered your books online. They’re coming in the next few days.”

Irene sits down opposite you as you start to dig in ravenously, her expression slightly worried, but she covers it up with a genuine smile of thanks. “Just be careful, _______.”

♡

You sit in front of your computer, textbooks open but attention elsewhere entirely.

A part of you slightly regrets being so generous to Irene as you stare at this semester’s tuition fee. Did it go up? Was the amount always this much?

You have barely enough in your bank account to cover it. Not to mention you’d have to miss out paying your portion of rent this month, on top of eating $1 kimbap for every meal if this goes on.

You sigh as you fold the letter in half. Just when you thought you could stop worrying about money so much, life just hits you in the face.

A chime comes from your computer as it lights up, and you click on the email notification from the cam girl website.

✉ jackedasjeon has sent you a private message!✉

Needing to take your mind off your worries for a second, you click to open his message.

jackedasjeon: when are you announcing the details for next week’s stream baby? jackedasjeon: i really hope I get lucky T____T jackedasjeon: i’ve been waiting for sooooo long T_____________T

Reading his messages makes you think about the dick picture he sent you. He’s clearly a well-built guy judging from the veins in his hands and arms, not to mention his generous cock, and last but not least, the cum stained abs that he was trying so very hard to show off. But the tone of his messages makes him sound like a whiny baby, and the thought of such a contrast actually makes you laugh.

Then, an idea strikes you as you click to your homepage and open a new announcement post.

hi cumnoisseurs ♡

how are my lovely icing chefs doing? ^___^♡ uwu

i was thinking of trying something new for next week’s stream! instead of picking a winner randomly (since I think most of you platinum subscribers have already had a chance once), there’ll be a bidding to determine the winner! owo

you can submit your bids on the discussion page! every night at 10pm, i will post the three current highest bidders ^_____^ bids are in increments of 250 coins! the entire bidding period only lasts for three days, so make sure you don’t forget!!

or i’ll be really sad that you wont have a chance to frost my cupcakes… qmq

i’m looking forward to receiving your icing bags uwu

lots of love,

meringuebaby ♡

As you read through your own post, you are cringing so hard from the overly sweet and cute tone that you almost throw up in your own mouth. The overuse of emoticons and ‘uwu’s has you want to wash your eyes out with saline. But this is what your viewers love, it’s the image you have cultivated for yourself, and you have to stick to it.

Sighing, you add a couple more emoticons here and there, deciding that there’s no such thing as overkill, before clicking on submit.

♡

Seokjin is having a nice, pleasant day whipping up some macarons; relishing in the peace and quiet. Having the entire kitchen to himself like this is rare. Usually, Jeon Jeongguk is in here making a mess with his protein shakes, or Min Yoongi is huddled in a chair eating whatever horrendous concoction made from three day leftovers in the fridge.

Seokjin shudders at the thought of that.

But at least with this; with this he can destress yet make some money on the side. It isn’t much, but taking small orders here and there has really added up over the weeks. He even has his own Instagram page where he features the best batches from his weekly bakes, and it really does a lot in attracting new customers.

He cracks one egg, separates the yolks from the whites, then moves to crack the second egg, tipping the yolk to one side of the shell and letting the whites fall into the pristine metal bowl beneath. All through this he can feel the serenity settle deep into his bones, he feels perfectly at ease. This is what he’s meant to do all his life; become the top pastry chef in Korea. His hands move to tilt the shell with the yolk just a little to make sure he gets every drop of egg white possible, when—

“Oh my GOD!!!!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!”

— his hand slips, and the yolk falls into the precious reservoir of egg whites down below, contaminating it beyond redemption as it breaks apart upon contact.

Seokjin breathes out in an attempt to control his rage.

“HOLY SHIT!” Jeon Jeongguk’s voice does not stop yelling.

Seokjin wipes his soiled hand onto a paper towel. With resolute steps, he makes his way to the stupid punk’s room, fully intent on teaching him a lesson he won’t soon forget. He shoves open Jeongguk’s door violently, completely forgetting what happened the last time he entered Jeongguk’s room without first knocking.

But luckily this time, he doesn’t end up with an eyeful of Jeongguk’s one eyed monster.

Instead, he finds Jeongguk prostate on the floor, on his knees with his forehead touching the ground as he sobs.

“Thank you thank you thank you…” he is mumbling as he— are those tears on his cheeks?!

Seokjin glances around in alarm. Has the stupid brat finally lost it? Had Seokjin been too harsh on him lately? But asking him to clean up after eating is definitely not too much—

In the midst of his fretting, Seokjin catches a glimpse of Jeongguk’s computer screen. He is currently on the cam girl from last time’s— he doesn’t recall a name— home page. Seokjin reads the top announcement, posted just five minutes ago.

And he is speechless.

“H-hyung… isn’t meringuebaby great?” Jeongguk can barely speak, his voice is choked with tears. “She’s actually giving me a chance now… I don’t have to depend on luck anymore! HYUNG!!! This time I really just might win!!!”

Jeongguk is looking at him with stars in his eyes.

Well, no really, it’s just the tears that are making his eyes shine like that.

“Sh-she calls you all… cumnoisseurs?” Seokjin stutters.

Jeongguk puffs out his chest. “Isn’t she the most creative?”

Seokjin can barely believe his eyes as he turns back to the post. “She wants you to… to… frost her cupcakes? With your...your— icing bags?”

With every word, Seokjin’s voice reaches a higher pitch, until his voice almost breaks on the last word. This is… this is an absolute insult to the pastry chefs who shed blood sweat and tears trying to hone their respected craft. Who spend hours in the kitchen trying to whip up that perfect batch of soft, fluffy and white meringues for their macarons, break their backs trying to ice their cupcakes flawlessly, only for all of it to be turned into some kind of lewd, sexual innuendo by some cam girl.

His face is red with rage. His ears are burning. Seokjin is sputtering with indignance. But he can’t find a single word to say.

“… do you even have that kind of money?” He finally spits out.

All at once, Jeon Jeongguk deflates like a soufflé taken out of the oven too soon.

Seokjin feels a little better seeing this. Who the hell does meringuebaby even think she is—

“I’ll find a way,” Jeongguk is wiping away his tears with one hand, brow set into a determined frown that has Seokjin feeling a little nervous. Whenever he gets this look, it’s a sign that Jeon Jeongguk is about to do something extremely stupid, incredibly reckless and most likely life-endangering. Like that time he fell for that online scam by a Nigerian Princess promising inheritance of the throne in exchange for a few dick pics.

“Wh-what are you going to do?” Seokjin glances at Jeongguk nervously as the youngest pushes himself to his feet with resolution, taking a seat in his desk chair once more.

“I’m going to…” Jeongguk takes a deep breath as he wipes the last of his tears away, clicking open a new browser in his computer. “I’m going to find a part-time job.”

Well. That’s certainly not what Seokjin was expecting. He lets out a sigh of relief. “As long as it makes you happy, Kook-ah. As long as you’re happy.”

Seokjin turns away with a niggling worry in the back of his mind as he hears Jeongguk swear under his breath.

“What the fuck? $250,000 for a kidney??”

♡

The guy beside you keeps sighing. All throughout the lecture, he is scrolling rapidly on his computer, obviously not taking any notes whatsoever. Normally, you would be more than a bit annoyed at being distracted, but today you’re not in any mood to listen either.

Yesterday night you posted the first three top bidders on your page. Strangely enough, and dare you say to your disappointment, jackedasjeon is nowhere to be found. He hasn’t even made a bid on your page. Currently at the top is cherry_chim013 with a bid of 2500 coins, and handfulofhobi is a few places down with a bid of 1,000 coins.

The lecturer announces a five-minute break, and the guy beside you sighs once more. You turn to him with a concerned look, peeking at his screen. “Something wrong?”

He turns to you in slight surprise, black curly hair ruffled and with sleep still in his eyes. “Wh- oh. Nothing. It’s just… why does finding a part-time job have to be so damn hard?”

He slouches in his seat and juts his bottom lip out. You feel a pang of sympathy for him. Before you discovered this cam girl gig, you were in his exact position. Scouring the school’s part time job listing for something that is manageable with a full load of classes, yet pays decently. It’s an almost impossible feat.

“Tuition fee, huh?” You sigh and pat his back in solidarity. “This time of the semester always comes around way too quickly.”

“Uh… yeah… tuition fee’s a goddamn piece of shit,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

“How much are you short?” You rest your chin on your hand.

“Um…” he bites his lower lip as he meets your eyes, and it strikes you that you’ve never seen such round, innocent doe eyes before. “About… $550 maybe? Or more? I… I don’t know.”

He seems to be in a sorry state— jittery and lacking sleep. Poor thing probably stayed up all night worrying about how to pay his fee; he’s so out of it right now that he can barely even remember how much more he needs. You can empathise with that all too well.

“Di- do you have any good part time jobs to recommend?” He suddenly turns to you, sitting upright in his seat.

You peer at his computer again, garnering his name from his login at the top of the school’s webpage. “Jeongguk, right?”

“Yeah—“ He follows your gaze to his screen, and then he looks at the cover of your notebook. “Any part time gigs to recommend, ______?”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t,” you say truthfully. In fact, this was the entire reason why you resorted to being a cam girl in the first place. It’s just impossible to get by with a part time job that pays so meagrely. “You could… you could tutor? I don’t know of any students you could teach though…”

“Forget it,” Jeongguk says glumly, sinking down in his seat. “Did you know the black market buys kidneys for $250,000?”

“Dude, that’s way too much suffering to go through,” you shake your head vehemently. “I mean, I could never do that.”

“You’re right,” Jeongguk sighs as he mutters to himself, “it’s impossible to get that done in 2 days anyway.”

“Why not try something less painful? Like donating blood!” You turn to him with a sudden brainwave. “It’s for a good cause, and its relatively painless too!”

Jeongguk only shakes his head. “I can’t. I was just getting over a flu earlier this week, and I’m still finishing up the antibiotics…”

You sink back into your chair, wracking your brain in thought. “Then… what about… I know this sounds crazy, but… donating sperm? Like, become a sperm donor?”

Jeongguk immediately rejects your idea. “What? No way. My sperm is way too precious for me to just pour it down the drain like that. Besides, if I do that, then I might not have enough for—“

He stops talking suddenly, and his face grows really red. The tips of his ears follow suit, and you think it’s actually kind of adorable, despite how he seems to be a little simple minded.

“Awww. Does someone want to be a daddy someday?” You grin at him, watching his face grow even redder. “You’ll still have enough sperm even if you donate! Did you know your balls make several million sperm a day— about 1,500 a second??”

Jeongguk is a choking, stuttering mess as he turns away from you and your wholesomeness. There’s a whole other reason why he treasures each and every drop of his cum, and definitely not for the reason you think. Though he wouldlike to have kids someday, but that is entirely besides the point.

You are still going on and on about how much sperm he has in his balls right now, and to his horror, hearing you talk about his balls and his sperm and his cum is actually making him grow harder and harder by the second… if he doesn’t do something to shut you up, soon he’ll have a raging boner right in the middle of a lecture.

“I’ll consider it!” He blurts out, and you stop mid-sentence.

“See, I told you it was a great idea!” You are all smiles, patting him on the back. “Let me know how it goes, friend!”

You grin at him, genuinely happy that he decided to consider your suggestion.

And that’s how you and Jeon Jeongguk become friends.

♡

jackedasjeon’s bid is still nowhere to be seen on the second night. You’re getting a little more worried now, especially since the cherry_chim013’s top bid has now been replaced by kingcrabjoonie with 3000 coins.

You would have thought that he definitely wouldn’t miss out on this chance, seeing as how desperate he’s been lately. Clicking over to his profile out of curiosity, you see that he was last online a few hours ago, but yet he still hasn’t made any bids. Perhaps he’s waiting for the very last day?

Or maybe he’s just some poor lonely guy who doesn’t have that much money at his disposal in such a short notice. A part of you begins to feel bad for making your subscribers pay instead of holding a lucky draw like you always do, but you desperately need the cash.

Besides, doing this would weed out all the broke college students and leave only those with a stable income. You’re well aware that guys your age, guys in the same class as you even, watch your streams, but from a very practical point of view, these guys tend to donate in small amounts, and if you depend on them for a living, you’re out of luck.

After lingering on his profile for a few more minutes, you sigh and close the page entirely, pushing all thoughts of jackedasjeon out of your mind as you force yourself to concentrate on your five-page paper due tomorrow.

♡

“Hey, did you see Jeon today?”

Yoongi plucks out one side of his earphones, currently in the midst of rearranging one of his songs, when Seokjin pokes his head into the room. He glances at the clock and realises that it’s almost dawn. Yoongi rubs his eyes sleepily and stares at the older man, dressed in workout gear and presumably about to head to the gym and pretend to work out, return drenched in sweat (read: splash himself with water in the washroom at the gym) and call it a day.

“Don’t know. He didn’t come back again?” Yoongi saves his work once, twice, and three times.

“No. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about what that brat does, but…” Seokjin’s voice trails off. “He’s up to something. I just know it. Last I heard was that he needs some six hundred bucks for that cam girl website or whatever—“

“He’ll be fine,” Yoongi says through a barely concealed yawn. “He’s not a kid, you know. Even Jeon Jeongguk has his limits too.”

“I know, but…” Seokjin’s voice is interrupted by the jingling of keys, and then a door opening and closing.

“There, see? He’s back in one piece,” Yoongi points his chin toward the sound of Jeongguk rustling about in the living room, turning back to his computer and pressing play again.

“Yeah, on the outside, but who knows what he’s missing on the inside?” Seokjin mutters to himself as Jeongguk drags his feet down the hallway, looking much more worse for wear than when he started out that morning.

“What happened to you?” Seokjin asks, half dreading the answer. “You didn’t… you still have both your kidneys right? Your liver? Your heart?”

“Your brain?” Yoongi pipes up, not even sparing a glance from his screen. “Oh wait. I forgot you didn’t have that one in the first place.”

“Hyung, you’re the one who doesn’t have a heart,” Jeongguk retorts back, but there’s no bite to his bark at all. The youngest can’t stop yawning, and his eyes can’t stay open for more than a few seconds. “I got it. Hyung, I got it.”

“Got what?” Seokjin asks, flabbergasted, but then Jeongguk pulls out a thick wad of cash. There must be at least $300 there. “Oh my god. You robbed a bank.”

Yoongi glances at what Jeongguk is brandishing proudly for a brief second. “You idiot. If he robbed a bank, he would have stolen way more than that.”

“I got an advance payment at my part-time job, and went to ask for a student loan,” Jeongguk says, his eyes opening wide enough with his signature sparkle for just a moment. “Boss made me work the graveyard shift even though no one in their right mind would want to buy furniture in the middle of the night before he would give me next month’s pay.” Jeongguk is puffing his chest out as he counts his money, grinning uncontrollably. “I can’t believe it was that easy. All my problems are solved!”

Seokjin watches the youngster kiss the wad of cash in his hands. “Kook-ah… you know that loans have to be repaid, right…?”

Just then, Yoongi speaks at the same time, tilting his head towards Jeongguk with mild interest. “Aren’t you still short? The highest bid on meringuebaby’s page as of last night is now 3000 coins. Meaning you need $600.”

Yoongi is casually examining his fingernails as he says this, and Seokjin turns to him in confusion. “Wait, how do you know what the top bid is?”

Seokjin’s mind is racing, and he comes to only one conclusion.

“Fuck, the bid only closes tonight and it’s already $600??” Jeongguk groans as he stares wide-eyed at the stack of cash in his hands. “I only have just enough, provided it doesn’t go up any further.”

“I could lend you some first,” Yoongi says with his eyes still on his screen, and Jeongguk lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Really, hyung? Oh my god. You have no idea how much it would mean to me!” Jeongguk is all smiles once more.

The conversation is moving faster than Seokjin can comprehend.

“On one condition,” Yoongi turns around with his arms crossed. “I want to send her my cum too.”

“No way!” Jeongguk explodes in a ball of indignance. “The rules are clear. Only one person’s cum and it has to be from the person who won the bid! That’s cheating, hyung!!!”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Yoongi shrugs indifferently as he turns back to his computer. “It’s not my loss.”

“I could never do that to meringuebaby,” Jeongguk says with clenched fists as he places one over his heart. “It would be like lying to her!”

Yoongi only snorts and mumbles something about being ‘totally whipped’ under his breath that Seokjin can’t quite catch. But then, all of a sudden, Jeongguk is turning to him with those puppy eyes and a pouting lower lip.

“Hyung, you have cash, don’t you? Can’t I borrow some? I promise I’ll pay you back,” Jeongguk says with reverence.

“I… um… I don’t get what’s…” Seokjin can only stutter, entirely overwhelmed by the past few minutes to form a coherent response. Yoongi visits this seedy little cam site too?? This meringuebaby person is earning just how muchas a scam girl??

“I’ll wash your dishes for three months, even during your baking practices,” Jeongguk throws in desperately.

And that seals the deal. As much as Seokjin loves baking, he absolutely hates the washing up. Not to mention when there are multiple icing tips, multiple mixing bowls, multiple trays… just thinking about it makes him feel exhausted already.

On top of that, he does have a rather large order coming up… having Jeongguk do the washing would make things so much easier.

So against the more rational part of his brain, he sighs and takes out his phone. “How much more do you need?”

♡

On the last night, when you log on to check the bids at exactly 10pm, your heart skips a beat when you see who is occupying the top slot.

“Oh my god, that crazy bastard really did it,” you mutter to yourself when you see that the top bid is way ahead of the second place winner. jackedasjeon had only placed his bid just two minutes ago, and also ensured that no one else could outdo him by bidding 4000 coins.

While a part of you is overjoyed at the extra income, you also wonder why someone would bid that much more than necessary. Perhaps this jackedasjeon person is really desperate… who are you to judge? You push the thought aside and make a new post to officially announce him as the winner, and see that the coins are transferred into your account. Then you send him a private message with details such as the address of your PO box that he should send the package too, as well as a few other administrative matters like how to securely wrap his package, what date he should send it by, and other things including the need for him to get officially tested and screened for any diseases and include the results in the package.

Not like you’ll actually need it anyway, but all the better to add to the realism.

Once you click send, you navigate to your account page to cash out all of your hard earned coins, and almost immediately, your phone lights up with a notification from your bank. You’re saved. Thank god for jackedasjeon.

You sigh in relief as you start to write a cheque to pay off your tuition fees.

♡

Jeon Jeongguk is over the moon. He is overjoyed. He is skipping all the way from class back home.

Throwing open the door, he can’t contain his excitement as he heads straight to his room. He opens the private message from you again just to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. The test results should be sent to him by email by today; he’d gone to get tested a few days ago just to make sure that there wouldn’t be any delay. He managed to get a few large, airtight vials as instructed, bubble wrap, and a sturdy cardboard box. The only thing left is…

Jeongguk sighs as he leans back in his chair, unzips his jeans, and starts to look for his favourite porn.

Which leads him to you, of course. More specifically, he begins browsing through some of your highlights videos on your page just to get himself in the mood. Just as he clicks on one where he remembers that you’re talking about your Sailor Moon outfit, he pauses.

Does he really want to do this?

A stupid question, granted all that he had gone through in order to secure the winning bid. But that aside, Jeon Jeongguk pauses. He finally has the chance to send the girl of his dreams something, anything at all. Does he really want to send her a vial of his cum? meringuebaby deserves to be treated way better than that. After all the hours of company and relief that you’ve provided him, Jeongguk feels like it just wouldn’t do to be this impersonal.

And in a way, Jeongguk does feel as if he owes you a word of thanks, at the very least. You made the past year of college slightly more bearable. Every week he has something to look forward to, someone who understands him, someone who makes him feel a little less lonely. Someone who helps him get through the hell that is college.

Then, Jeon Jeongguk realises he doesn’t really want to send you a vial of his cum like some weirdo. He just wants you to know how much he admires you, and sending you cum in the mail definitely isn’t the way to do that.

So he zips himself up again and reaches for some paper and a pen instead. If Yoongi ever found out he was about to do something this lame and sappy, Jeon Jeongguk feels like he would just die, so he double checks and triple checks that the door is locked, before he begins to pour out his feelings to meringuebaby on paper.

An hour passes, two hours, even, Jeongguk has lost track. But five sheets of paper later, he is finally satisfied with the end product as he puts everything into an envelope and drops it into the box. He puts away the unused vials into a drawer, wondering if he’s being an idiot for passing up on this chance.

But no. More than anything else, he wants you to know how he feels about you. How grateful he is that you do what you do. He doesn’t want to be jerking off and just sending you his cum like that. He wants you to know just how much you’ve helped him get through the not so good days. And what better opportunity than this? Maybe you’ll be so touched you’ll even read out his letter during your stream.

He nods to himself, confident of his decision as he seals the cardboard box.

♡

“You got another package,” Irene sings out as she knocks on your door.

You click pause on your online lecture to open the door, only to find your roommate holding a box in her arms.

“This one’s unusually light,” Irene mentions as she comes into your room, setting the box down on your desk. “Should we open it and check what’s inside?”

But you wave her away. “Nah, why bother? It’s gonna be nasty as hell. Even I don’t want to see the stuff. Just tear off the label and toss the package. Or just leave it by the door. I’ll dispose of it properly when I head out.”

“Is this the one that helped you pay your tuition?” She asks curiously as she begins to carefully tear the label off the box. “This ‘jackedasjeon’?”

“Yeah, he’s a platinum subscriber, but he’s never won before,” you say as you bring the box outside and leave it by the door. Come to think of it, it is unusually light as compared to the previous packages that you received. But it can’t be anything much, seeing as you’re going to toss it out anyway, so you don’t think much of it as you head back to your room to get a headstart on preparing for your stream.

“Should I do something special? He paid a lot for this,” you muse as Irene starts to get out the supplies to help you mix today’s batch of fake cum. “I was thinking of throwing in a freebie. You know, I saw one streamer selling the water that she soaked herself in while doing her stream. She bottled it up and added glitter and some food dye or some shit like that. Made it look like unicorn tears and called it her ‘Gamer Girl Bath Water’.”

Irene wrinkles her nose as she pours out some lube from a giant 2 litre bottle and starts adding some water to it to adjust the consistency. “That’s gross. I know I’m saying this as I’m literally mixing cum right now, but still.”

“You gotta give her credit where credit is due though,” you say at your reflection in the mirror as you tie up your hair and start your skincare routine first. “She’s creative as hell. Why didn’t I think of that first? Now I’ll have to come up with something else. Like selling my worn underwear or something.”

“Are you crazy?” Irene turns to you with her spoon still dripping onto the counter. “That’d cost you an arm and a leg!! You’ll barely break even like that.”

“You’re right…” you sigh in resignation. “What does a girl have to do these days to make some money??”

Irene is silent for a moment as she concentrates on adjusting the texture the way you taught her the very first time, while you put on your base layer of makeup.

“Is this okay? Too thin? What kind of cum do you think jackedasjeon would have?” Irene asks thoughtfully as she scoops some of the mixture onto her spoon and lets it drip back into the container.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you reply, brows furrowed in concentration as you focus on getting your eyeliner just right. “I guess he seems like he might have a pretty thick load? He does have a nice cock. And nice arms. But I guess he can be kind of childish sometimes. Maybe thin it out a little more.”

Irene suppresses a giggle as she does as she’s told. Every time the two of you cook up that week’s batch, you always play a guessing game and make up facts about the mystery man whose cum you’re supposed to be playing with that week.

“Come help me with this,” you turn from the mirror with your eyes closed, holding out your false eyelashes. Irene is the only one who can get them on you, and without them, your disguise would not be complete.

“I have no idea what I’d do without you,” you sigh as Irene is putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup an hour later. “Where would I find a roommate who mixes fake cum for me, and dresses me up to scam men on the internet?”

Irene giggles as she pats your cheek with a grin. “All done. Now go and earn us some money, meringuebaby.”

♡

“Hello!! I missed you guys so much! How are my cumnoisseurs today?” Your voice, bright and cheery, fills the entire room as Jeon Jeongguk settles into his desk chair, but he can’t seem to sit still. He is brimming with excitement, his heart is racing and it feels as if it might explode out of his chest.

You look beautiful as usual, dressed with your pink wig and Sailor Moon outfit, waving your star tipped wand about as you do your usual greetings, reading out the names of your top subscribers. Today you are surrounded by cupcakes with pastel pink, power blue, and snow white frosting on three tiered cake stands, and you reach for one cupcake, scooping a bit of the icing onto your finger and sucking on it.

“Aren’t they pretty?” You are scooping even more icing onto your finger, savouring the sweetness on your tongue with a cute little moan. Jeongguk feels the blood shoot straight to his cock upon hearing it. “I have some pink macarons here too! I decided to get these because I was craving something sweet today… don’t they look good?”

Jeongguk rushes to type his comment, adjusting himself with one hand as his jeans grow even tighter.

“I’m even sweeter than these?” You giggle as you read his comment, and Jeongguk feels a surge of adrenaline as he watches you wink at the camera as you continue. “I think that’s my line, jackedasjeon. I must admit that I was a little impatient and I had a taste of you earlier… that’s why I was craving something sweet!”

Jeongguk feels his heart seizing up as his eyes are glued to the screen. The words don’t really register in his brain as he watches you bounce up and down in excitement, and then he is distracted by your ample cleavage instead. You would have read his letter by now, right? Is that why you look so happy?

cherry_chim013: you should do a live where you’re in the kitchen cherry_chim013: wearing just an apron cherry_chim013: hehehehe

cherrychim is one perverted fucker. But Jeongguk can’t say that he wouldn’t like to see that visual either. He watches with a stupid goofy smile on his face as you talk a bit more about your day and eat a few cupcakes, getting some of the icing on the corner of your mouth, and Jeongguk wishes he could reach through the screen and help you wipe it off.

“I brought a whisk with me today! I just thought it would fit with today’s theme,” you brandish the utensil and wave it around. “I tried it on myself earlier and… it felt really nice as a massager. At the end of the stream, I’ll be giving it away to this week’s winner!”

Jeongguk watches as you start to use the whisk to play with yourself, running it up and down your body as you play with your own breasts over your bra. He is entranced and absorbed. You push your skirt up to reveal your panties that already have a wet patch on them, and start to rub yourself with the whisk over them. Your cute little moans and whines are getting him harder and harder, and when you push your panties to the side and start to finger yourself, Jeongguk groans audibly.

“Let’s really start the party now, shall we?” You pause with a glance at the camera as you lick your own fingers clean. “This week’s winner is jackedasjeon! Thank you so much for your… generous donation, it was well received!”

You brandish your faithful purple squirting dildo, and accidentally squirt some of the cum onto a nearby cupcake.

“Oops! How careless of me!” You gasp as you pick up the cupcake and scoop up the icing, with the cum on it, and put it in your mouth. “Tastes like salted caramel now,” you giggle.

Jeongguk swears under his breath as he watches you taste the cum stained cupcakes. He was never really into foodplay, but watching you like this, he just might reconsider.

“It’s supposed to go inside me, not on the cupcakes!” You are giggling as you scold yourself. “Sorry about that, jackedasjeon. But since you sent me so much, there’s more than enough cum to go inside me.”

At first, Jeon Jeongguk is far too horny to hear what you actually said. But after a few moments, the words register in his mind, and he frowns in confusion.

“Wh-what?” Jeongguk says aloud even as you start to suck the head of the dildo, squirting some of the cum out messily around your lips as you go. “But I didn’t… how can this be?”

There must be some sort of mistake. Jeongguk didn’t even jerk off that day, let alone send you any cum in that package, so how can you still be streaming and thanking him like this? He opens the drawers at his desk to make sure that the vials are still there. They are sitting at the back of his desk, untouched from the last time he left them.

You are showing the camera ‘his’ cum now on your tongue, making a great show of playing with it and swallowing it. After a bit, you start to tease yourself with it, playing with your clit and as Jeongguk watches the cum drip onto your cunt, his erection just dies down completely.

As if to confirm his suspicions, he watches the cum drip down your chin, and it look suspicious. Even if he had somehow mistakenly sent you his cum, the cum that you are playing with right now is most definitely fake. In fact, it looks just like lube wth some water added to thin it out.

If he didn’t send you any cum… and you are still streaming as if you received it in the mail…

This can only mean one thing.

Jeon Jeongguk has been scammed.

♡♡♡

[kamilah-is-queen]

Hi! Are you okay now? I had a request. Could you write a fic where MC and Kamilah go to MC's reunion party. Kamilah gets to know for the first time that MC was the lead singer in the high school band. MC's friends organize a kinda special performance and just when the song finishes, MC proposes Kamilah for marriage!

Hello, thank you for sending me this idea for the following fiction, it was a pleasure to write.

The Main Star

Tagging: @ayushixo, @olivegh7, @helpconfusedpersonhere, @nydeiri

”What in the world?” Amy unlocked her phone to see 400 messages, it's source was a group full of unknown numbers. In bolded letters was the name of the group, ’ Class of 2013...’ Her eyes widened, a high pitched squeal escaping her lips as she read the messages.

The sudden noise caused Kamilah to jolt forward from her sleep, throwing a confused face at Amy before she fell against the pillow. ”What happened?” She asked in a raspy voice, still hoarse from sleep as she rubbed her forehead slowly.

Amy’s eyes darted back as forth across the screen, swamped in the messages from her former classmates. Her fingers rapidly moved across the keyboard, her face practically inside the phone as she read out one response. ”There’s a reunion party next week, will you join me Kamilah?” Both their gazes met, searching each other’s eyes before the vampire replied, ”What is a reunion party?”

”You don't know what a..” Amy’s jaw stood agape as her eyes searched Kamilah’s face, desperate to find any sense of sarcasm in which she came up short. ”Back in my day..” Kamilah gradually opened her eyes once again, her eyelids fluttering quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light, ”Back in my day there was no such thing as a reunion party.”

”Yeah yeah I get it, now, a reunion party is where people from your high school typically meet up years after they graduated.” Amy’s attention was then drawn back to her screen, a smug smile curling at her lips, ”Looks like Noah will be there.”

Perhaps Kamilah hadn’t heard her correctly, for she turned over in Amy’s lap and held the covers tighter. ”And this is next week?” Her sounds were muffled by the thick blanket, Amy hardly paying attention as her fingers flew across the screen.

”Are you listening Amy?” Kamilah’s eyes remained shut, her chest rising and falling slowly before she flipped to face her girlfriend. The vampire snapped her fingers in the other’s face, drawing Amy back to reality.

”Hmm? What we're you saying my love?” Amy switched her phone off, tossing it to the side. Kamilah’s eyes roamed the other’s face, internally admiring her features before she spoke again, ”I was asking when this party was.”

”Right, next Wednesday is the big day.” Amy gently ran her fingers through Kamilah’s hair, the silky locks gliding easily through her hands. ”Mmm..” Kamilah purred gently as her head remained on Amy’s lap, ”I’ll have to check my schedule.”

Amy averted her eyes to the opposite direction, too nervous to hold Kamilah’s gaze, ”I know your busy, but it would mean a lot to me if you could come.” Kamilah sat up abruptly, prompting Amy to run a comforting hand up and down her back. ”Hand me your phone please.” Amy smiled and placed the device in Kamilah’s hands, pulling Kamilah back to rest her head on Amy’s shoulder as she logged into her email.

”Your in luck Miss Parker, ” Kamilah spoke with a wide grin across her face...” I've got no meetings on Wednesday.” Amy’s face widened, her smile radiating a glow that made Kamilah gaze at her lovingly, ”Really?!” ”Really really.”

Amy then pulled Kamilah close for a hug, smiling as she inhaled Kamilah’s soothing scent. ”Thank you, Kamilah.” She responded by pulling Amy onto her lap, her shoulder a pillow for Amy’s head, ”Don’t thank me my love.”

4 days later....

“Is this casual enough for you Amy?” Kamilah called out from the bedroom as she pulled at the collar of her jacket. Within a few seconds her girlfriend was standing behind her, Amy’s eyes searching Kamilah’s body. She was dressed in a black leather jacket, white jeans, and black flats to complement one another.

”That’s perfect, you look gorgeous.” Their gazes met and they both shared a small smile, Kamilah admiring her girlfriend's red jumpsuit. ”Shall we go my love?” Amy nodded, hesitantly grabbing the car keys. ”Just one last thing...” She tiptoed and pressed her lips to Kamilah’s, the kiss deepening quickly. Amy snaked her arms around Kamilah’s waist as she felt cold hands cup her cheeks. Amy then pushed her tongue to the vampire’s mouth, a deep groan rising from Kamilah’s throat before she pulled away, breathless. ”Perfect...”

The journey to the party was lengthy, and neither Kamilah not Amy really knew what to say. Kamilah didn't know what to expect, all the parties she had gone to where either galas or club parties, not a reunion one. What would be said? What would she do? Would she feel out of place? On the other hand, Amy couldn't control her nerves. She found herself gazing out the window often, her eyes focusing and unfocusing on the landscape beside them. What would everyone think of her? Would they be the same? How had they grown up? It was a lot too handle at once, but at least she had Kamilah by her side.

The noise of Kamilah changing gears pulled Amy back to her senses, the engine roaring as she turned her head to gaze at the vampire beside her. She stayed that way for a while, prompting Kamilah to smirk at the house on the horizon, ”Enjoy what you see?”

Amy cleared her throat, shaken up as she wiped her eyes, ”The house is quite beautiful isn't it?” Kamilah nodded, her hand resting on the gear stick as she parked the car. ”Listen Kamilah, try not be frightened at these people. They can be...a bit much.” Amy said hesitantly, taking Kamilah’s arm as the vampire let out a deep laugh, ”I’m sure I can handle myself dear.”

The house was dim inside, soft lighting shining from a variety of lamps scattered through the rooms. In the living room was a wide stage, a piano accompanied by a speaker system placed in the far corner. In the center was a microphone, the sight of it prompting Amy’s eyes to sparkle with excitement.

”Hey everyone! Look who arrived!” The group erupted into cheers, members of the party rising from their seats to greet the couple. A stout man approached Amy, embracing her in his arms as Kamilah watched with a polite smile, ”there’s our lead.”

”It’s nice to see you too Noah, how’s life for you?” Amy walked off with the man, the two heading towards the kitchen as Kamilah gazed upon the audience. She offered a small smile, awkwardly sitting down in the plump chair as she lifted a glass of wine from the table. ”If I may ask, is there a band coming to perform here tonight?”

The blonde woman beside her smirked, sipping at the whiskey in the glass, “We’re performing.” Kamilah frowned, her eyebrows tensing while she turned her attention to the woman beside her, “what do you mean? You don’t look like any band I’ve ever seen.”

The blonde woman gestured to the other adults with her hand, each one nodding in agreement, “We were a band back in high school you see.” Amy then returned, smiling a soft smile at Kamilah who patted her lap gently. “I see you all where in a band, what role were you my dear?” She questioned while Amy sat in her girlfriend’s lap.

”I was the lead singer.” Amy said proudly, a small blush creeping up onto her cheeks while her peers clapped and cheered. ”I never would have imagined that my firefly was a singer, show me what you got.” A glint of desire shined in Kamilah’s eyes, her deep gaze locking with Amy’s before Amy stood on the stage. She adjusted the microphone and tapped it three times, ”testing testing.”

Two members of the audience joined her on the stage, one sitting at the piano, and the other holding a guitar. The guitarist started the song, the familiar rhythm prompting Kamilah to smile and listen intently.

”Well I found a love....for me...

Darling just dive right in....and follow my lead...”

Amy’s powerful voice echoed through the room, Kamilah locked in a trance while listening. Amy gripped the microphone, pulling it away from the stand as she walked off the stage. She stood in front of Kamilah, her voice accompanied by the piano and guitar before it wrapped to a close.

”You look...perfect....tonight...” Amy dropped to one knee, pulling out the black box from the hidden compartment in the table, ”Kamilah Sayeed. Will you give me the honor of calling me your wife?”

Kamilah stood speechless, the crowd around her chanting ’Say yes!’ but all she could do was look into Amy’s eyes. ”Yes.” Amy jumped and the crowd roared, slipping the diamond ring on her girlfriend’s finger before Kamilah pulled at her waist. Their lips crashed together softy, savoring the sweet taste of victory.

”My wife...”

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

[bytheangell]

Hey Elle what's up! I've been thinking a lot about Magnus and alcoholism lately and I'm dying for a fic about him working to give that up and Alec helping him through it. Maybe like a post canon AU where Magnus has his magic back and him and Alec are together now? No rush I know you have a lot but I think this is right up your alley and I can't really write it myself right now

catalyst to your own happiness(read on AO3)tw: alcohol, alcohol abuse

It’s no surprise when it comes time for a toast at the wedding that the two grooms are front and center with a champagne fluke full of bubbling liquid, clinking their glasses with impossibly large smiles before taking the first drink. Alec finishes his first and gets an immediate refill, while Magnus nurses his a little longer with smaller sips, drawing it out.

What is a surprise is that when his glass is finally empty he denies his mother-in-law’s offer to top off his drink while she goes to grab another for herself.

“Something else?” Maryse asks instead, motioning toward the expansive bar selection readily available.

Magnus only shakes his head, much to Maryse and Alec’s surprise. “No,” he starts, considering his words carefully. He doesn’t want this to be a big deal… but it is. He knows it, and he’s certain they will, too. He turns slightly to address Maryse. “I meant what I said to you back at your shop that night. Magic or not, I think it’s time I take a little more responsibility for my more… excessive indulgences.”

Maryse, if she’s surprised by this, has the good grace to hide it behind a carefully controlled expression that smiles softly and nods. “Well then, I’m even more proud of you now than I was then. Might I suggest,” she adds quietly. “A little magic to keep that full of sparkling cider? Just to deter a night of unwanted temptations?”

Magnus laughs. “The beauty and the brains of the family, I see. Now I know where Alec gets it from.” He does just that, the glass in his hand no longer empty but full of something that looks exactly like the champagne it once held - except Maryse and Alec know differently.

Maryse catches the gaze of someone across the room and gives a little wave before excusing herself from the newlyweds, leaving Alec alone with Magnus once more. Unlike his mother, Alec can’t help the look of confusion and barely masked disbelief from his expressive eyes, glancing at Magnus’ drink before looking guiltily down at what is now his third glass of champagne.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize–” Alec starts, but Magnus immediately waves a hand dismissively at the apology.

“You have nothing to apologize for. We haven’t had a lot of time to just sit and talk since… well, before everything.” There was a lot of ‘everything’ covered by that vague statement, even though only a few days passed since he broke down on the balcony and ruined Alec’s proposal dinner. “Before I got my magic back, I told Maryse that I wasn’t going to drink anymore for a little while. I never want a repeat performance of that night…” Magnus knows he doesn’t need to specify which night for Alec to know which one. “I swore I would never burden you like that again. I know I have my tolerance back with my magic but it was still quite the wake-up call, and I think I want to stick with that promise. Or try to, at least.”

Alec nods, downing the rest of his glass in one go before holding it out to Magnus. “In that case, I’ll have what you’re having.”

Magnus shakes his head with a fond smile. “Alexander, you don’t have to–” “Of course I don’t, but I want to.” It’s such a simple gesture of solidarity but to Magnus, in this moment, it means the world.

“Alright. Just know that I honestly don’t mind if you want to indulge. This is your big day, after all. You deserve to celebrate.” Magnus draws the words out, buying time for Alec to change his mind and take the easy out. Alec doesn’t.

“It’s our big day,” Alec corrects him. “And all I need to celebrate is you.”

—

Given the short notice of the wedding, they’re both only able to take a few days on such short notice for an impromptu honeymoon. Those days are surprisingly simple because they’re more than a little preoccupied with one another, a wonderful distraction from any initial cravings Maganus might have. Again, they have a glass of wine over dinner, a drink with lunch, but that’s it. No excessive indulgences. It’s almost easy when it’s just the two of them.

The true test comes when they’ve returned to New York, but it’s one Magnus passes with flying colors… at first, in fact, it almost feels too easy to come back from their honeymoon and start their married life together as a new man. Maybe it’s just easier to psych himself out during such a monumental change in his life - his father is gone, he’s married, and he’s building up his client base one warlock at a time now that Lorenzo doesn’t have him on a universal Downworlder blacklist. Why not just slip this change in with the rest, while everything is already shifting and readjusting?

It goes well for a week or two until he gets particularly bad news about a sick warlock child. He first heard of her illness almost as soon as he got back to New York, and despite the fact that he immediately set to work on a particularly complicated elixir he’s currently in the middle of completing (one that took that full week of steeping and brewing and adding ingredients in just so over carefully measured intervals), it isn’t fast enough. He gets word that she died at 10:03 am on a Thursday, manages to hold off the worst of the impulses until 11:29 am, and pours his first glass of whiskey at 12:14 pm. Just one glass, he tells himself… which quickly turns into two, and then three, and then he isn’t bothering with the glass any more as he takes long swallows straight from the bottle.

Magnus hears Alec come home, he hears the greeting Alec calls into the apartment that he doesn’t reply to, and in the back of his head he knows that he shouldn’t be here. He should leave before Alec sees him and realizes that he fucked up… but he can’t be bothered to care just then. He certainly can’t be bothered to move. Alec walks into Magnus’ workroom to find his husband sitting on the floor next to a potion that’s hardening in the pot it was left in, two empty bottles of whiskey,  and one more nearly gone in Magnus’ hands.

The worst part of it all is that instead of numbing the pain he only feels worse.

“What happened?” Alec asks, hesitating by the doorway. He knows better than to crowd Magnus’ space when he’s like this before getting a read on the situation, and Magnus is grateful for it even as he watches Alec’s hands twitch, eager to reach out to him.

“I wasn’t good enough to save her” Magnus says, and Alec winces.

“The warlock girl… the sick one? She didn’t-” Alec starts, but can’t bring himself to finish that sentence, already knowing the answer.

“She died. She’s dead and it’s because I didn’t do enough…  there should’ve been something I could find to speed up the process, or if I was easier to reach they would’ve asked me sooner instead of going through local warlocks first, or-”

“Hey, hey,” Alec says, taking a few steps closer and kneeling down next to him on the floor. “You did everything you could. This isn’t your fault.”

Magnus shakes his head. “It is. And so is this,” he adds, half-heartedly lifting up the bottle in his hand. “Looks like I’m 2 for 2 in ruining everything that actually matters in my life right now. Careful, darling, or you’ll be next.” He knows his words have a slight slur to them but neither of them acknowledge it out loud. Alec doesn’t have to, the concern on his face speaks volumes.

Magnus wants to quit. He wants to take this as a clear sign that the sober life isn’t meant for him; he isn’t the sort of person who can just change himself after 400 years, so he should just admit defeat and move on. He almost does, expecting to look up into Alec’s face and see nothing but disappointment. It’ll be the final straw to make up his mind…

…but when he finally raises his eyes to meet Alec’s he doesn’t see disappointment, or anger, or even sadness. What he sees instead is resolve as his husband says, “I don’t believe that. And I don’t think you do, either.”

Easy for you to say, Magnus thinks, and he almost says those words out loud before he stops and really considers them. Is it easy for Alec? How could it be, to watch the man he loves struggle and fall apart? To know Magnus is doing his damndest to push Alec away?  This isn’t easy for Alec, either, even if he isn’t the one with the problem.

“You’re right. I’m not– of course I’m not thinking clearly right now.” Magnus can’t tell if he truly believes it or if he’s only saying what he knows Alec wants to hear. Either way it has the desired effect.

“How about we take a nice, long bath and go to bed early? We can sort out the rest in the morning.” Alec asks, and Magnus nods. There are no simple answers today. No solutions. He can’t undo what he did but he can pick himself up off of the floor - quite literally - and try to piece things back together. It isn’t the easy option and it’s the last thing he wants to do just then but when Alec reaches out a hand to him Magnus takes it.

He wants to give up, but he doesn’t. Not today.  

—

With Alec gone all day and Magnus with little to do outside of the occasional client, the drink cart situated in the corner of the room is more than a little tempting. He does well while Alec is around to see… but when his husband isn’t around Magnus starts to sneak a drink, or two, or three. It’s more habit than anything else and he hardly realizes he’s doing it until he has to make the effort to not do it around Alec.

It barely makes a difference - his tolerance is back to what it was before, and with his magic he barely feels anything under 4 or 5 drinks. Magnus certainly doesn’t think Alec notices until he comes home from visiting Raphael one night to hear the tail-end of a conversation Alec is having on the phone.

“I know. And I’m sure it isn’t a big deal, I just… I’m worried he’ll take it the wrong way.” Alec pauses, not hearing Magnus step inside and close the door gently behind him. “Of course you’re right, mom. It’s better I bring it up sooner rather than later. I just want to be there for him, after all, and–” Magnus places his bag down on the table, something inside clinking around enough to finally Alert Alec to his presence. Alec’s head whips around, eyes wide at the realization.

“I gotta go. Talk to you later.” Alec says before hurriedly hanging up the phone.

“And how is Maryse?” Magnus asks, eyeing Alec curiously.

Alec frowns. “How much of that did you hear?”  

“Enough to know you’re worried about telling me something - which shouldn’t even be an emotion that crosses your mind, dear. This is us we’re talking about, after all.” Magnus smiles, and it only wavers the slightest bit in anticipation which threatens to betray the total confidence his words exude. “What’s wrong?”

“Well…” Alec starts slowly, and there’s no denying the anxiousness in his voice, the implication of worry behind the long pause as he seems to debate just how much of what’s wrong he plans on actually sharing now that he’s put on the spot. “You’ve been drinking.”

Magnus frowns and does what he does best - tries to spin the truth, a skill he picked up and finely honed over centuries of dealing with Seelies. “Of course I have. You know I have a glass or two when we-”

“No,” Alec cuts him off, before the cover can go on for too long and they both decide it’s just easier to pretend it’s the truth. Magnus thinks for a brief moment that he isn’t sure he’s ever seen his husband look quite so nervous before, which is a concerning realization considering the sorts of situations he’s seen Alexander face.

Alec walks over to the drink cart, picks up a bottle, and grabs the stele out of his pocket to wave over one of the sides. A line appears that wasn’t visible before… a line that’s over a full inch above where the current level of liquor sits.

Rage flares up in Magnus, eyes narrowing.  

“You marked my bottles?!  You actually - I cannot believe you have such little trust in me you would go behind my back like this.” His words grow louder with every syllable, voice shaking, eyes wide. He’s on the defensive, words biting and sharp, and even though he sees the cringe on Alec’s face and the pain in Alec’s eyes the moment Magnus snaps out that first statement he doesn’t stop. “Have you been following me, too? Paying off waitresses to tell you how many martinis I ordered at lunch with Catarina?”

“Magnus, I just want to help. I can’t help if I don’t know that you’re having a problem-”

“Oh, so now you think I have a problem, too?”

“That isn’t what I meant and you know it,” Alec snaps back this time. It should be enough to give Magnus a moment of pause but it isn’t. He feels too much like a wild animal backed into a corner, with nothing but the instinctive need to fight his way free. Before he can push back Alec continues, not backing off this time. “You told me this was something you wanted to do. I only want to help you if you’re having a difficult time with it. The groups I talked with to help Izzy with her addiction, they deal a lot with alcohol addiction, too. They said marking the bottles–”

“I know why you marked the goddamn bottles, Alec. I’ve been around for centuries, you think I don’t know what AA is?” Magnus rolls his eyes. Up until now he’s told himself he doesn’t really have a problem. He’s doing this because he wants to, not because he has to. Certainly not because anyone else believes he should be doing it. He actually had himself convinced that his husband was just going along with it for his own sake after Alec’s initial reaction at the wedding… he never stopped to consider that Alec might actually think he has a problem worth worrying about, too.

“I just want to be here for you,” Alec tries again, echoing the words he spoke to his mother on the phone. “And if you actually thought this was okay you wouldn’t have tried to hide it.”

Magnus turns away, seemingly in anger but mostly because he doesn’t think he can see the hurt and confusion in Alec’s eyes and remain as stubbornly upset over this as he wants to be.

“I can’t do this right now,” Magnus says finally, grabbing his bag back off of the table before heading for the door. “I’ll be back later. Don’t wait up.”

“Magnus, wait-” Alec starts, but it’s too late. Magnus is out the door without so much as a stutter in his step, and doesn’t stop until he’s cleared the block. He knows it isn’t fair to Alec - he’s only trying to help, and in fact, Alec went above and beyond in that department. But Magnus feels blindsided and backed into a corner by the sudden confrontation, and he’s panicking, and now he’s aimlessly wandering the streets of New York with nowhere to go and nothing to do.

So he walks, pointedly ignoring the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He doesn’t go to Cat because he knows that she’ll agree with Alec. He fears the same for Maryse and Isabelle (both of whom Alec surely spoke to already), and Raphael is out of town. So instead he wanders without a destination, and he thinks. He could just change his mind and take it back. He tried, he failed, and he’s fine going back to the way things were before.

…isn’t he?

The moment he considers that option he knows it’s a lie. The time he spent sober, not relying on alcohol as a crutch or as something to numb the difficult days, was some of the most fulfilling time he’s had in recent years. Maybe he doesn’t want to quit forever but he can’t give in now, not while his motivations are still suspect.

Alec is right: he wouldn’t be hiding it if he thought what he’s doing is okay. That should’ve been his first sign that he isn’t as alright as he’s pretending to be.

Magnus finally pulls his phone out to call Alec, only to see a number of missed calls and texts from Catarina and Raphael as well.

Cat: Where are you? Alec’s worried sick, he thought you’d be here but I told him you weren’t, and now we’re both worried. Call one of us, please.

Raphael: I don’t know how your husband got my number but if he’s upset enough to call me I feel like I should be concerned. Are you alright? Call me, por favor.

Magnus texts them both back that he’s fine and he’ll talk to them later before calling Alec’s cell. Alec picks up before the first ring even finishes.

“Magnus, thank the Angel. I’m so sorry-”

“Alec, don’t. Please don’t apologize - you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be apologizing,”  Magnus sighs. “I’m coming home.”

Magnus is dreading the conversation he knows he’ll have to have when he gets back, so he walks slowly and gathers his thoughts. When he finally opens up the front door of the apartment he sees Alec on the sofa trying very hard to look like he hasn’t just been sitting there, waiting. There’s a book open next to him as well as  a cup of tea that’s long since gone cold.

“Sorry I worried you,” Magnus starts, figuring it’s as good a place as any.

“It’s alright, as long as you’re alright.” Alec says, eagerly tossing the book to the side. “…you are, aren’t you?”

“I didn’t go drink a bottle of whiskey and pass out in a gutter somewhere, if that’s what you’re asking.” Magnus declares, deflecting.

“That isn’t what I-” Alec starts, and Magnus can already feel this turning into the conversation from earlier all over again, defensive and hostile.

“I know, I know it isn’t. Sorry, I shouldn’t joke about it like that. I just don’t know how to do this? I can’t tell when I only feel like I want it, or when I feel like I need it. And I know with my powers back I could drink for hours and be fine, but that doesn’t mean I should. And I’m just having a difficult time reconciling those things.”

Alec listens. “I get it. I mean, I don’t get it, obviously. I just want to do whatever’s best for you. You said this was something you wanted to do, and I want to be here in whatever capacity I can if it is. But if it isn’t…” Alec trails off. It isn’t like it’s been a huge problem outside of those days without his magic prior to Alec’s attempted proposal.

But one look at him and Magnus can tell that Alec is reluctant to say he’ll support Magnus if he decides to go back on  everything he said before… but Alec also doesn’t want to push him if he doesn’t want this anymore. And since Alec isn’t about to force him, the decision rests in Magnus’ hands now.

The weight of that isn’t lost on the Warlock, who falls silent for a long while after Alec’s words trail off, thinking them over.

“How about we start with full disclosure? Maybe trying to cut it all out at once was a bad idea. But I won’t hide anything any more, and we can take things from there?” Magnus takes a deep breath. “And no more pushing you away.”

Alec smiles, soft with a hint of sadness, and nods. “That sounds like an amazing plan. And I’m sorry for going behind your back with the bottles. I should’ve just said something to you first. I guess we both don’t really know how to do this… but we’ll figure it out. Together.”

And that’s all it takes for something so terrifying, something so monumental for the both of them to tackle, to feel entirely doable.

Because they’re doing it together.

————–

It soon becomes obvious that it isn’t how much he’s drinking, or even what he’s drinking - it’s the reason behind it, the emotional state that brings the urges about. Magnus is fine to have a drink or two with friends, or with Alec over meals, without the slightest bit of guilt. It helps to ease him into cutting back before cutting off entirely, since the all-or-nothing attempts weren’t working out.

What he can’t have is the drink cart in the apartment fully stocked with all of his go-to vices for days when the weight of the world feels a little too heavy. And what he can’t do is turn to that before he turns to a friend when things go wrong.

It’s easier said than done, but he does it just the same. He isn’t perfect, but Alec is there every step of the way to bring him back when he starts to slip. There are bumps in the road and nights out that, because he spent so long abstaining in-between, he indulges a little too much… but he’s finding a balance. He’s finding things that work for him because he wants to, and not because he feels pressured to by anyone for any reason other than simply getting better. 

The more Magnus allows himself to go to Alec  - or even Maryse, Catarina, or Raphael - when he’s having a particularly rough go of it, the easier it is to end that day on a positive note. That isn’t to say he doesn’t have some days that are worse than others; days when Alec comes home and Magnus admits he went out for a few too many drinks with an old friend and somewhere along the line started putting gin in the ‘just tonic’s. But it’s better than the start, and he’s making solid progress.

The first few times Isabelle invites him along to a meeting he turns her down. But after one particularly trying day when he finds himself pacing, actively trying to talk himself out of portaling to the nearest bar, he calls her up instead. It seems silly to talk about his life in mundane terms, and to think of it as a disease to be cured and not just a personality trait to be corrected. He doesn’t go often but it’s nice to hear from people who are going through the same thing.

It helps.

He takes up training with Alec to channel his frustrations. That helps, too… as does another less public form of stress relief Alec is more than happy to indulge in when Magnus needs a distraction.

Magnus hardly notices when he starts cutting back from casual social drinking as well, only imbibing once or twice a week until he isn’t even doing that. He reaches a point where he no longer feels as if he needs it- but more than that, he doesn’t even want it any more.

After an entire month without touching a single drop of alcohol Magnus comes home to dinner and a glass of sparkling cider on the table waiting for him.

“I thought this deserved a toast. I hope it’s alright, I know you didn’t say anything about it earlier so I’m not sure if you wanted to celebrate or not, but I know a full month is a pretty big milestone, and-” Alec starts to ramble a bit, and Magnus silences him with a finger brought up to Alec’s lips, followed quickly by a kiss.

“It’s fine. It’s perfect, Alexander. Thank you.” Magnus picks up his glass and waits for Alec to do the same. “To you, and all the unwavering love and support you’ve offered from the start.” Mangus says the words, moving his glass forward to meet Alec’s with a delicate ‘clink’.

“And to you” Alec adds. “For making this difficult decision for yourself and sticking to it. I’m so proud of you, Magnus.”

“Thank you. For everything,” Magnus smiles.

He knows better than to think one month means he’s rid of it for good, but Magnus allows himself this night to bask in the feeling of this current victory, even if it ends up being temporary.

Because this - despite what he’s sure they all believe - isn’t the first time he’s attempted to quit drinking. This is, however, the longest he’s managed to stick with it. There were times in his past - whether out of a loss of a loved one, or the loss of love itself, or sometimes just the weight of the things he’s seen and the horrors he’s lived through - where he’s gone too far even with his warlock tolerance to balance things out. He’s tried on his own to stop drinking in the past, obviously with little to no success given the recent state of things.

He doesn’t tell Alec all of that, however. If this fails - if he fails - he wants it to seem as if this is just a first attempt and not just another in a long line of broken promises to himself to get better.

Except this time he has something he didn’t have during any of those previous attempts. This time he has friends and family to support him; he has people to lean on.

This time he has Alexander.

And with Alec by his side he feels like he can take on the world, one glass of sparkling cider at a time.

[dr-gloom]

Happiest I’ve Ever Been

Muted got some great commentary on my AO3 and it made me feel loved so I’m writing a continuation

Here we go!

Summary: Virgil and Roman have been together for almost three months, but this is the first time they’re meeting in person, and Virgil feels like he’s going to vomit from all the feels. 

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairing: Prinxiety

Tags/Warnings: some swearing, Human AU, First Official Meeting, I guess?, Trans Character, Trans Virgil

Enjoy!

Read it on AO3

fic masterlist

like what I do? buy me a coffee or GoFundMe

No one in their small friend group had been surprised when Virgil and Roman got together. They’d all smiled and shared a laugh when Patton said, “Bet! Paypal up!” and that was essentially the end of the discussion. The other three just figured Roman and Virgil had a chat after that call and confessed their feelings in some slice-of-life-anime way. Virgil would never actually tell anyone how it happened; he was still embarrassed. 

Logan had been the first to sign off, stating that a proper sleep schedule was essential for a healthy lifestyle before hanging up. The other four had stayed up and chatted for a few more hours. Patton had actually ended up falling asleep on camera while they were all watching Snow White through Thomas’ shared screen, and once the movie was over the remaining three agreed to hang up. Thomas had work in the morning and the other two hadn’t wanted to keep the conversation going with the possibility of Patton waking up and eavesdropping. 

Almost as soon as the call was over, Roman was calling Virgil. Virgil felt his heart leap into his throat as he answered, Roman’s radiant face taking up his screen. At some point during the movie he had changed into his pajamas, a white set that looked like a prince’s outfit. Virgil hugged his black cat head plush to his chest, the heels of his feet resting on the edge of his seat and bringing his knees up to his chest. He waves hesitantly at Roman with a slight smile before resting his chin on his knees. Roman’s smile grew as Virgil appeared on his screen. “Virgil! Good to see you.” Virgil quirked an eyebrow and typed into the chat. His mic was on, but he was suddenly too anxious to speak. 

Emo Nightmare: you literally saw me like, 2 minutes ago

Roman’s smile wanes slightly as Virgil types, and Virgil feels bad. The smile is back in full force soon enough though as Roman replies. “I know that, but now it’s just us! And I actually... want to talk to you about something.” Oh god, here it is. He’s not even totally sure what he’s worried about; he knows Roman isn’t going to take back his friendship, or it would have already happened, right? And... anything else would be a bonus, right? Even if he just wants to ask questions, Virgil would be educating a friend on trans matters. Virgil nods mutely and Roman continues. 

“Well... I’m sure you heard my outburst earlier, judging by everyone’s reactions when I came back to the call...” Virgil turns red at the recent memory, nodding again. “Y-yeah...” When he manages to find his voice, Roman’s smile changes to be something more.... admiring. “Well... Medusa’s hair! Virgil, I have feelings for you. Of... The romantic sort.” Virgil sits there in silence for a moment, each second making Roman’s nervous smile drop a bit more, until Virgil blushes and stutters out a “W-wait, what..?”, immediately grimacing when his voice comes out too high and feminine. 

Roman looks at his lap, uncharacteristically shy. Virgil doesn’t think he’s ever seen Roman like this, and... it’s kind of cute, honestly. Sure, yeah, Roman was always attractive and (dare he say it?) funny, even at his most obnoxious self-assured, but there’s something about the way he glances at the camera uncertainly with a hesitant but excited smile that makes Virgil’s stomach warm. “I do. And I realize this is not the most romantic way to confess one’s feelings - in fact, I had planned this elaborate- not important. The point is, I can no longer stand to keep this to myself, and I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I had to tell you.” 

Roman looks at Virgil almost expectantly, waiting for a response. Virgil shifts in his chair, setting his feet on the carpet and curling his toes into it to ground himself. “Ah... Well... I maybe... Possibly... Feel the same. But- but don’t get all excited and shit, I mean- not that- dammit, I mean... You’re really far away.” Virgil bit his lip, picking at his cuticles. That was why he’d been so reluctant to talk about this; no matter how either person felt, they were in different states; how could they possibly make it work? Apparently Roman had already considered that. He sits up straighter, gripping the edge of his desk as he leans in with a grin. 

“Ah, but you forget my prince of darkness, we have these video calls! And we can plan times to visit each other. It won’t be as often as either of us would like... But it’s better than nothing.” He nods resolutely, and Virgil can feel his face heating up for a whole different reason. Just the thought that someone cared about him enough to be willing to wait for him, even from another state, and to spend money to see him? It was too much. His eyes burned and he ducked his head down to hide the tears starting to form on his lashes. He never thought this would actually happen to him, not even when he’d first realized he’d liked Roman and he was at his most optimistic. He thought of what it would be like, to talk to Roman every day - which they already do, but this would be different - and be a couple together. To share everything, and plan dates together, and save up money to fly down there or waiting for Roman to fly to him. 

To have Roman in the same room as him, instead of 400 miles away. 

That’s what finally made the tears fall. Virgil’s shoulders start trembling as he imagines what it’d feel like to finally see Roman in front of him, actually in front of him. To touch him and hug him and, god, kiss him. Roman says his name, his tone concerned and uncertain, and when Virgil finally looks up Roman’s expression turns a little panicked. 

“Oh, Virgil! Love, I’m sorry! Please don’t cry, I’m sorry, whatever I said I apologize.” Virgil shakes his head, scrubbing his eyes and smearing his eyeshadow in the process. “It- It’s not that, Princey, I...” He sighs shakily, sniffling, and Roman looks about ready to sell his soul to be able to hug Virgil. “I just... really want you here right now.” He laughs wetly and hides his face in his hands, and Roman makes a sad understanding noise. 

“I do too, Virge. God, I do. We can do this though. I love you.” Virgil didn’t care about the warnings he’d heard growing up, how ‘I love you’ should be reserved for The One, or you’d get your heart broken. How you shouldn’t say it too soon; this wasn’t too soon, not to Virgil. “I- I love you too, Roman.” They both smiled a little shakily at each other, and if Roman had started crying too, well, Virgil didn’t mention it.

They’d been together for almost three months now, and they were easily the best three months of Virgil’s life so far. He was probably the happiest he’d ever been, and everyone could tell. Since unmuting his mic, he’d still been quiet and hesitant to speak up, but a few weeks later he was almost as vocal as his friends, and his smiles came more freely. The others didn’t mention it, almost afraid that if they did Virgil would stop. Roman loved it, and he especially loved the private calls the two would have after everyone else would head off. 

Roman and Virgil spent these private calls planning various dates for when they would meet up, talking about their days (anything that wasn’t shared in the group that is), and talking about the future. Virgil saved up any money that came his way. Hell, he’d even started recycling to save up as much as possible. Roman was the first to get enough money for a plane ticket, and after much arguing it had been decided that Roman would be staying at Virgil’s, because as Virgil said, “Why the fuck would I let you stay at a hotel when this is the first time I’m seeing you in person? I’d be stupid to let you out of my sight.”

And now, Virgil was standing in an airport terminal waiting for Roman’s flight to land with increasing jitters. His stomach was doing somersaults, and any time the voices in his head would start up with their doubts and insecurities, Virgil would put in his earbuds and blast the entire album of Folie A Deux. He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone vibrated, and he pulled it out to read a new text from Roman, his heartbeat in his ears. 

Ro <3: plane just landed! Prepare to be swept off your feet ;) <3

Virgil didn’t even care that he was smiling like a loon. He jumps out of his seat, taking one glance at the screen of departures and arrivals to confirm that Roman’s plane was in fact here, then he runs to Roman’s terminal. He bounces on the balls of his feet as people start to filter out of the terminal, and for an impossible second he’s afraid he won’t recognize Roman (which is ridiculous, they’d just had a video call last night). He doesn’t have to worry long, though, because soon enough he’s seeing Roman’s red jacket and making eye contact with him before shouting and running right for him.

Other passengers and bystanders rush to get out of Virgil’s way, and when he’s right in front of Roman he stops, throwing his arms around the other and hugging him tightly. He’s here, he’s really here. I can touch him, he’s here. “I’m here Virge. I’m here.” Roman hugs him back just as tightly, burying his face in Virgil’s purple hair. He holds him close, one hand on his back, the other on the back of his head, and Virgil feels so safe and secure and loved. He laughs softly in Roman’s ear, and Roman thinks it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. 

They break the hug, but they never separate. They hold hands all the way out of the airport, and only let go long enough to load Roman’s bag into the back of Virgil’s shitty camaro and get in, Virgil taking Roman’s hand again as he drives one-handed to his apartment in the middle of town. They park and Virgil takes Roman’s bag, shooting down his protests with “You’re my guest. I’m carrying your bag.” Once they get inside and Virgil’s set the bag down in his room, he turns around to find Roman right in front of him. He opens his mouth to say something, but Roman stops him by cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a kiss. Virgil kisses back, thinking to himself that this is the happiest he’s ever been, but he’d probably be changing his mind plenty in the future. 

A/N: Yep. Virgil had waited at that airport for hours. I know what I said.

I hope this was good! I love cliche meetings tbh

[shans-fic-recs]

KnB Fic Recs

Yo, my lovelies! My Sterek rec list is so long, I had to take a break from it, sorry! There's like 400 fics to still rec, but in the meantime I thought I'd go with some KnB recs that I haven't touched in a while. They are all grouped according to the ships, with my favourite KnB ship at last.

On a sidenote, dedicated to @grettalks cuz she's into KnB if I'm not entirely wrong.

⭐ Favourites are marked with stars⭐

***

▶️ Akashi Seijuurou/Furihata Kouki

•  And He Embraced Them All (Because Kouki Is Worth It) : In which Teikou!Akashi switches places with his future self and meets Seirin!Furihata. Time skip AU.

•  Solitary Bliss : Akashi is away on a business trip, leaving Kouki alone and yearning for him, but when he finds comfort in a relic deeply linked to their past, his misery rapidly subsides. Fluffy smutty AkaFuri.

•  The Sun and the Mole Rat : Akashi Seijuurou was like thesun; beautiful, radiant and infinitely unreachable. It was an impossibly stupid thing that someone like him could ever be compared to someone like Furihata Kouki,who was so ordinary in everything, nobody would look at him twice should he walk down the crowded streets.

•  Who Are You? : It starts with an accidental love letter. Then friendship and relationship happen… for quite a while until something inside Akashi snaps and ends it one-sidedly. It’s a lot of hard work to get Furihata’s Akashi back, but it still works out in the end.

•  Anomalies : If there was one thing Kuroko hadn't expected when he ordered Furihata and Akashi to take their children on playdates, it was this.

▶️Aomine Daiki/Kagami Taiga

•  (Look) What You've Done : The one where Aomine is a cop and Kagami is a firefighter.

•  A Kitchen Window Like This ⭐: Kagami and Aomine start a long weekend off on just the right notes.

This is literally one of the sweetest domestic aokaga out there.

•  Cum Here Often? : Kagami’s team win the All Japan Intercollegiate Basketball Championship and they go out to “celebrate”.

•  Dumb Werecats Who Play Basketball : Kagami has a hard enough time being a madararui before his hot rival starts smelling really, really good. Sex Pistols crossover.

Okay,  I'm a sucker for anything even remotely ABO alright?

•  Corners : Mafia!Aomine is out to wipe out Kagami on his boss’ orders. Semi PWP. I suck at summaries, sorry.

•  Firefly Without a Light ⭐: Aomine Daiki is occasionally a shitlord and sometimes he figures that out without needing to be told. Other times, not so much. Porn + emotional rollercoaster.

•  First Time Fit For A King : "Yeah." Kagami rubs the back of his neck awkwardly."I don’t get it though. Why me?"

"Because." Aomine tilts his head up a little, and Kagami doesn’t know if he should feel insulted that Aomine is literally sticking his nose up at him. "You're the only one who has the potential to beat me at basketball. Maybe."

•  Jersey : “Oh my god,” Kagami says, and he’s grinning now, a sleepy, shit-eating grin. “Thisis a thing for you, isn’t it?”  , a.k.a, jersey porn.

•  Overexposed ⭐: AoKaga and taking shots off abs.

•  Packed Like Sardines : Train porn lol 😂 or whatever fucking in a train car is called.

•  playing pick-up ⭐⭐: Aomine comes to visit Kagami in the US except — “Hey, Kagami,” Aomine asks.“You live in Las Vegas, right?”

“What? No,” Kagami replies, readjusting his phone underneath his shoulder.

“Well, I’m in the airport at Las Vegas right now,” Aomine begins, and Kagami doesn’t even want to hear the rest.

•  Rewind > Pause > Play : Kagami threatens to leave when Aomine turns to alcoholism to cope with his career and has given up putting forth an effort in their relationship. Angst with a happy ending.

•  S.A.A : The idea of sitting in a room with a hand full of people discussing how sex makes them feel was not at the top of Kagami Taiga’s to-do list, but when that dark skinned, blue eyed stranger walked into the room, Kagami found himself editing that list and putting that man at the very top.

•  some kind of madness : Aomine picks a fight in a bar trying to protect Satsuki’s virtue (🤣🤣) and Kagami patches him up.

•  Strut : Kagami congratulate Aomine on a very flashy win in his own special way.

•  THE RISE OF ASIA: NBA EDITION ⭐⭐⭐: Aomine and Kagami, through the eyes of an interviewer. A masterpiece, truly. This is one of the very first AoKaga fics I read and I'm still very much in love with it.

•  The Power A Name Can Hold ⭐⭐⭐: Super long soulmate AU full of angst and hurt, but with a happy ending. Absolutely stunning.

•  The Care And Feeding Of ⭐: Halfway through his tenth burger and Aomine’s fourth, listening with only a half an ear towards that bastard’s constant grumble of thought with the occasional hurmph of ingestion thrown in, Kagami realized that he was,in fact, actually dating Aomine Daiki.

An all time favourite full of silliness.

•  The Hot Neighbour : It takes Kagami three weeks to move into his new apartment but only one day to start stalking the incredibly hot salaryman in a suit.

•  the pizza factory ⭐: Aomine gets accepted at the pizza factory where Kagami is a chef. Or so it goes. A very funny, snarky personal favourite.

•  thigh to thigh : Kagami's more experienced than Aomine is; that's not exactly saying much. PWP.

•  Twitter Project : Kagami's social studies class has a new project: Tweet a celebrity of your choice. Aomine has been on the receiving end of some hilariously awkward tweets recently.

➡️ sequel : TakaShin sidestory, very cute with a pinch of AoKaga from before.

•  underneath the cup in a black, marker pen ⭐: Kagami writes letters on styrofoam cups to hardworking salaryman Aomine. Coffee shop AU.

•  Wildcat Blues : In a world where shapeshifters, vampires, wizards and other preternatural beings walk the land, finding everlasting love can be a bitch.

•  Worst Kept Secret : In which Kagami Taiga is a werewolf and nobody is supposed to know. Key point - 'supposed to'.

•  Wrong Number ⭐: Aomine managed to score this busty babe's phone number, but when he texted her, the person who responded was everything but busty.  

•  texts from last night ⭐⭐: Kagami gets smashingly drunk and Aomine takes it upon himself to drive him home. Drunk sex ensues.  

▶️Kise Ryouta/Kasamatsu Yukio

Okay, so I saved my favourite KnB ship for the last! Have fun!

•  (500) Days of Kise ⭐: Wherein Yukio Kasamatsu's life is a romantic comedy. Office AU and so very cute. Mutual pining. Kinda, if I remember right.

•  The God of Small Things : Kise gets scratched by Kasamatsu's new cat. Cat fluff.

•  flower/s : Kasamatsu comes home from a work related trip, and Kise has something up his sleeve for Senpai’s return.

• KiKasa Week series :

1. he's got the answer it doesn't go away : It figures that the universe won't even give Kasamatsu the luxury of hindsight bias.

Okay. This is like, the best of Yukio that I've seen. Team dynamics and Kise joining Kaijou.

2. what you have tamed : First lesson in being team captain: you don't get a break.Ever.

3. slow down if you want to : It's been a week already, and Kasamatsu still can't let go.

4. in the face of these forces : Wherein Kise only started playing basketball in his third year of middle school, and Kaijou still scouted Teikou's small forward.

•  Perfect Coffee : Kise was a perfect employee– he had a sunny disposition and stunning looks who attracted the customers and he additionally had a real talent for making coffee. So he was a blessing that gods had bestowed upon Kurokocchi and his friend, no matter what they both said.

•  Of French Girls And Pretty Boys ⭐⭐: Kasamatsu takes up art class for extra credit, and Kise is the unfairly attractive figure model. College AU.

•  Narita Ground ⭐⭐⭐: Kise loves riling up Narita Ground's air traffic controller.

This is one of those “if you ship kikasa and haven't read narita ground, then you're living under a rock” kinda fics. I swear by it. Ultimate favourite.

•  KNB TFLN : College AU with multiple pairings besides KiKasa. Smutty.

•  First Impressions : But Kise Ryouta, damn his eyes, is beautiful., OR

Yukio looks over Kise’s profile before he comes to Kaijou.

•  Ten Things Kasamatsu Finds Annoying(ly Endearing) about Kise : Kise always smiles at Kasamatsu when he's finally done with his seemingly-interminable beauty regimen (there is no other word suitable for this) and says, "Thanks for waiting for me, senpai."

•  Fadeaway ⭐: Kasamatsu dodges. "You don't deserve that," he says, setting a slightly faster pace. "Inconsiderate, stupid, no-good first-year aces and their idiotic, inconsiderate, stupid, worrisome actions."

•  KiKasa Week series ⭐⭐⭐:

➡️  ️part 1 : “He's good-looking?” Kise demanded, before he could stop himself with the thought of how unattractive jealousy was.

Okay so this is at the end cuz it's super old and I couldn't find the active link, but nevermind. It's fucking awesome.

➡️  part 2 : Kise peeked at him. "But cute?" he said, trying to recapture the dutiful boyfriend adoration look.  

Kasamatsu stared at him. "Now that's just gross," he said.  

➡️ part 3 : "You do look kind of like him," said Kasamatsu, since obviously no one else was going to come out and say it.

"I really don't," said Kise, his mouth hilariously turned down.

"Maybe in a few years," said Kasamatsu. "You'll grow into it."

More to come! Stay tuned!♥️

Do tell me if any of the links don't open or are faulty, etc.

Last Updated : 12/07/2018

Feel free to send me your own recs and I'll include them in the list! Loves!!♥️♥️

[dramaqueeenamby]

The Tulips Are Too Red

A/N: So, I have a favor to ask of you all. Sooooo many of you have shared such kind words with me, sending encouragement my way in regards to my writing. Many of you even believe that I could be published my day. That still gets to me. 

Anyway, here’s the thing, before I ventured into writing BP fics, I created a completely fictional story that I planned to post on Wattpad once I finished the other stories on there. Well, that never happened. I was working on chapters, getting up to three done but stopped as I was busy with other Wattpad fics. However, you guys have really got me thinking about my writing and just future in general.

So, I’m posting one of the chapters that I’ve written in the hopes that you guys will let me know your honest opinion of it. If it’s shitty, please say so. Constructive criticism will only make me better as a writer. 

Also, as I was rereading it, I realized that I could really turn this into a BP fanfic as well, a T’Challa x OC story once I finish up the rest of the fics that I’m juggling. 

Okay. I’ll shut up and allow you to read. I also won’t tag anyone because this is far from what you’re used to seeing from me.

----

It Is Winter Here

Chapter 1

It is Winter Here.

There are exactly twenty-four hours in a day. In minutes, that number grows to 1,440, and in seconds, it’s a whopping 86,400. Most people don’t think about stuff like that. Time. Unless they’re wondering how much they have left before they can clock off and go home to their adoring wife who’s been slaving over a stove all day. Or maybe their kids who’ve been home alone since they got out of school doing God knows what with God knows who. Other than those scenarios, and maybe a few more, like I said, hardly ever cross the mind.

But I’m not most people.

I tend to think about these things. I think about a lot of things actually. Like how long Craig plans to grow out his hair, or if Tammy will ever realize that that infomercial with claims of a one hundred percent success rate is based on a trial of exactly five participants, four of them, paid ‘volunteers’. I also notice a lot of things. Most of which, again, people are never privy to because of their supercilious concerns.

Like I said.

Not most people.

I watch her, not even attempting to hide my suspicious stare. She’s been sitting in the same spot for over an hour, a People magazine in hand and expensive shades over her eyes. To anyone else, she’s just another patron with plenty of time to spare. To me, she’s a hawk. No one reads the same magazine for an hour straight, especially one with a Kardashian on the cover.

“For someone who literally needs someone to wipe his ass, this guy is one hell of a di*k.” I look over at Candi who has been reading for roughly thirty minutes and is almost halfway through with the 400-page novel. “He sounds cute though. At least, the way she describes him makes him sound cute.”

“So you’d take him to the shop?” Zaria shifts in her seat, eyes staying on the photographic book in her lap. She’s had the same one for over an hour.

Candi giggles and lifts her left shoulder. “He could own the shop.” I roll my eyes and tap my nails against the mahogany wood armrest of my spacious chair. “Candi likes being on top anyway.”

“Candi likes all positions.” I chime, finally throwing in my two cents.

She sighs loudly and flips her blonde locks over a naturally tanned shoulder. “I’m a lover, Nova. You should try it sometime.”

“Oh I think you have enough to give for the three of us, Candi Cane.” I wink and return my eyes to the woman in question. I squeeze the solid chair, ignoring the pressure it puts on my weak nails. She still has that same damn magazine and has again started from the first page, looking over the front cover like she doesn’t already have the scandalous image and cliched caption memorized.

“Guys.” Zaria’s voice brings me back to reality as she pulls down the sleeves of her white shirt. There’s no need for her to do so, but it’s a habit of hers. “It’s time.”

Sure enough, Pat is only feet away from us, that stupid rehearsed smile on his droopy face.

“Already.” Candi pouts and puts her arms in front of her, hands in between her thighs, her busty chest on full display. “But I’m almost done.”

Pat offers a strained smile, chubby fingers going up to adjust his thick-rimmed glasses. “Why don’t you just buy the book, Candi?”

She tilts her head to the side and deepens her pout. “I already spent my allowance.”

“On?” When she smiles wickedly, his Adam's apple moves up and then down. “Candi.”

“Oh relax, Patty.” She giggles again and chews on her bottom lips, untangling her long legs and rising to her full height. “What kind of girl do you think I am?” She pulls out a southern accent and pulls a finger to her mouth, pretending to think. “Or is it woman?”

“I wanna buy mine,” Zaria informs, also standing up, looking like a lost child next to Candi’s lengthy frame. “Nova?”

I get up, taking Candi’s book and placing it on top of mine. “Yeah. Let’s go.” Zaria pulls her sleeves down again and tucks the book under her arm, walking in front of me, leaving poor Pat to deal with Candi while we complete this transaction.

On our way to the registers, I look back and see that the Hawk is walking out, stuffing the magazine in her black Hamilton bag.

She can’t be stealing. It’s a possibility, but judging by the tennis bracelet on her wrist and that rock on her ring finger, stealing seems rather out of character. No. The magazine is clearly hers. I wiggle my fingers and fix my jaw.

Who in the hell comes to a bookstore to read a magazine they already own?

Like I said, hawk.

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

The car ride back is long, bumpy, and crowded. The van, overdue for some serious improvements or a junking, has a strong odor. It’s not vomit inducing, but its stench will leave you crinkling your nose when you first get a waft. In the second row, seatbelt stretched and clutching onto a protruding chest, Candi engages in conversation with the driver.

He’s new, probably a tempt, and after a car ride with Candi Wallace, this will be his last time filling in.

“It’s so beautiful.” Zaria murmurs to my left, her tiny fingers and raggedy nails trailing over a portrait of the grand canyon. “The view from the top must be breathtaking.”

I give the picture a few seconds of my time, for her sake. It is nice, but nature has never really stood out to me. Too many elements that I can’t control. “Maybe one day you can take your own picture. That one, I’d maybe even frame.”

Aside from a small smile, she says nothing.

The rest of the ride is filled with Candi’s musing and Pat’s occasional business calls. When we pull up, the driver and Pat flash ID’s; the guard peaks his head in the car to make sure that everything checks out.

After Candi flashes him a wink and places her index finger in her mouth, he gives her a one-over and lets us in.

“He wants me.” She mouths to us and then giggles, clapping her hands together and resuming her goal of bugging the driver. When we pull up to the entrance, she’s the first one out, blowing him a kiss and happily waving. “Call me.”

“Maybe,” I add on, smiling when she shoots me a glare. “I couldn’t help.”

“Jealousy really isn’t becoming of you, Nova.” She raises her chin and saunters through the automatic doors, switching her hips and uttering variations of hello to everyone she passes.

“You gotta admit.” Zaria starts, keeping her book clutched against her chest. “She’s fun to be around.”

I look over my shoulder to see Pat watching us closely. He’s so annoying.

I roll my eyes. “My lady, you and I have very different definitions of fun.” Swinging my arm around her shoulder is easy as we’re roughly the same height. I think I have an inch on her, maybe even less.

She laughs, and I crack a small smile. Those are becoming more prevalent by the day. It’s a stark contrast from our first meeting where she woke me up out of my sleep with screams and sobs that were only silenced by a heavy sedative.

We’ve come a long way.

“Ladies.” Pat interrupts. I suppress my eye roll.

As always, Candi is the first to volunteer. Smiling happily, she keeps her arms up wide and legs spread perfectly. “It’s new.” She informs happily when the man reaches her chest and pouts when he says nothing in reference to Candi’s new bra. When he’s done, Candi mouths ‘as*hat’ to us, and I put myself in front of the man before he gets a chance to call on Zaria.

With a bored face, I let him do his job, sending a glare when he keeps his hands on my as* for too long.

Creep.

When it comes to Zaria’s turn, I take her book from her, sending her a reassuring grin. She doesn’t return my gesture, but I’m okay with that. Her eyes say thanks. That’s enough for me.

Any sign of trust from Zaria is enough for me.

My glare stays on the jerk the entire time. I watch his every movement, waiting for him to try something with her. When he gets to her chest, I feel fingers move about, fighting the urge to ball my fist. I can literally see the discomfort on her part. She’s literally counting the seconds until he moves his hands anywhere else. I don’t know if he can tell that I’m willing to have my level 5 access revoked or if he senses the ardent apprehension radiating from her, but he keeps it short and professional. As soon as he’s done, she’s back by me, reaching for her book.

“Well, he was a meanie,” Candi comments as we wait for Pat to put the key in the panel right next to the elevator.

“Too touchy feely for my liking,” I reply loud enough so Pat can hear. He says nothing. Neither does Zaria. The rest of the elevator ride is in silence aside from Candi humming “Oops! I Did It Again.”

When we finally reach our floor, the three of us stand outside the elevator for our evaluation.

“Well, you ladies seemed to have done rather well today.” Pat smiles, the fat on his face parallel with the rolls that make up his neck. “If you’d like, we can try again next week.” I yawn, wishing that I could just walk away. I’d risk losing my clearance for Zaria or even Candi, but not myself.

Someone has to keep these two from extending their bid.

“Tomorrow the group outing is to the aquarium.” He smiles fondly like this is the best news we’ve heard all day. One glance to a somewhat excited Zaria makes me realize that for her, it probably is. “I think you all would have a fine time.”

“I wanna show off my new bra. I’m game.” Candi grabs her boobs, lifting them with a wink and a smile. “Nova?”

I can literally think of a million things that I’d rather do than spend a day at the aquarium, but one look at Zaria, and I know my decision has already been made for me.

“I guess a day with Happy Feet won’t be too bad.” What I want to say is it won’t kill me, but around here, there are just some words you want to try and avoid. Kill being one of them. It’s for good reason though.

Even I’m not too much of an as*hole to admit that.

✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻

For dinner, we had chicken lasagna with mixed vegetables, garlic bread,  and apple pie for dessert. If it sounds magically delicious, you’re magically wrong.

The chicken was bland, the vegetables cold, and the garlic bread might have left me with some cracked teeth. The apple pie was decent, but nothing to brag about. I shouldn’t complain. Yesterday we had beef casserole.

Majority of my plate ended up in the trash.

“He was cute though, right?” Candi brushes through her hair, that dazed look in her eyes. That can only mean one thing. She’s already been given her nighttime dosage. “Of course he was. I only fu*k with the best.”

Zaria, fresh-faced, arms out and exposed in her short-sleeved shirt and blue Soffee shorts, offers a small laugh. “He must have been close to forty Candi.”

“And I thought you only liked ballers?” I wondered aloud from my position on Zaria’s bed. Next to me, she continues to admire the pictures in her book.

“Well, duh. I need a middleman to get to him.” She says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, moving her shoulders from side to side, admiring her reflection. “I think my tits are getting bigger.”

“Your tits or your ego?”

She glares through the mirror and then pouts. “Boo, you whore.”

Zaria frowns. “You know I don’t like that word.”

“You don’t like anything, Zaria.” Candi rolls her eyes.

“Better than liking everything.” Zaria shoots back with a sly smile. I high five her, much to Candi’s chagrin. “If you catch my drift.”

“You guys are mean.” She stomps her feet and resumes brushing her hair.

When Zaria yawns, I realize her that her Clonezepam has already kicked in. Her lids are heavy, and she moves to put her book up.

“Uh oh. I think someone is sweepy.” She says in a baby voice and moves to pinch Zaria’s cheek, but Zaria swats her hand away. Candi laughs and sits on the bed, giving her a half hug. “Night, ladybug.” She kisses her cheek and brushes the top of her head.“You know I’m right down the hall if ya’ need me, sugar.”

“And I’m right next door,” I add on, lightly punching her on the arm. “Sleep tight, kid.”

“Thanks, guys.” She smiles gratefully, getting up at the same time we do so she can pull back the covers. She doesn’t even care that the horizontal lines on the inside of her thighs from not even two years ago are on full display. In the privacy of her room, even with Candi and I, Zaria is true to be herself.

We all are.

Candi yawns loudly with outstretched arms. “I’m wiped.”

“Doesn’t take much.” I chuckle, but hug her side. “Good night Candi Cane.”

She smiles brightly, her pearly whites distracting the small mole on the right side of her chin. “Night, babycakes.” I don’t even react as she squeezes my butt. I simply shake my head and walk over to my door.

I stop when I go to turn the handle, noticing the light peaking through the bottom of the door.

Smirking, I walk in and shut it behind me.

“Can I help you with something?”

He’s sitting on the green, faux leather chair in the corner of my room. I narrow my eyes, wishing that I could wipe that smug grin off his chiseled face. He leans forward, his green scrubs a contrast against his sun-kissed skin, the short sleeves clinging against solid muscle.

“I’m here for night check.”

I chuckle, purposely taking my time as I make my way over to him. “Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you Mr..,” I look over at the badge on his shirt. “Collins, but I have level 5 access. I don’t need a night check.” My body is jolted forward, my knees immediately separating so that I’m straddling him. “This is highly unprofessional and extremely inappropriate.” I moan as one hand goes to stroke my already hardened nipple and the other slips into my shorts.

He mimics my chuckle, satisfied when he feels the wetness already pooling from my core. “I’ve seen your records, Ms. Young.” He stands us up, his hand still in my shorts, teasingly running his finger up and down my folds. “Breaking rules is your specialty.”

I look down at him, his blue eyes holding nothing but pent up lust. Using my index finger, I run my finger down his cheek, parting his mouth and tugging on his bottom lip.

“Then what are you waiting for, Doctor?”

With a guttural growl, he throws me on the bed. I don’t think I need to tell you what happened next.

Two hours later, he’s long gone, and I’m out like a light.

Just another typical day at Lakeshore Mental Hospital.

[davidcarner]

Sarah vs The Life Unexpected: Christmastime is Here, Ch 2, Giving Unselfishly

A/N: Okay, I tried last chapter to give away as few spoilers as possible to the main fic, Sarah vs The Life Unexpected. This chapter, there really isn't much I can do. But let's be honest, if you've read any of Sarah vs The Life Unexpected, what you're about to read should be nothing you don't expect. Warning, due to Christmasy goodness, this fic might give you dieabiteeeess. Giving Unselfishly, Chapter 2.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, but I have at least put up my Christmas Tree

Sarah looked at the dress again. She had bought it for this week's special occasion. A huge party was being thrown for video game exes, and Chuck and Morgan were included. She loved the dress; she loved how it looked on her.

"I just hope it fits," she muttered to herself, not realizing Chuck was in earshot. He raised an eyebrow.

"Sarah Bartowski, if you start complaining about being overweight looking like that. . .I don't even know how to finish that sentence," Chuck said, as serious as he could. Sarah smiled at her husband.

"I'm not Chuck, it's just it's the holidays and I'm always eating food that I probably shouldn't this time of year. There's not a lot of give here if I've even gained a pound or two."

"Sarah, you could weigh 400 lbs, and you know your beauty would shine through, right?"

"You're sweet. Delusional, but sweet. And married, so kinda required to say that," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Uh, not required, it's the truth, and the delusional…well, I won't say your wrong. But, if you're worried about the dress, we can skip the party," Chuck said, smiling. Sarah looked at him.

"Naeiou, Mr. Bartowski, we are not," she replied. "We are going to go to the party. You're not getting out of this Christmas party. This is a big deal."

"I'll make you a deal, we don't go and I'll personally decorate my office and the rest of the hallway," Chuck said. Sarah stopped and considered it.

"Chuuck, that's not fair. This party is about celebrating what you two have done and the accomplishments you've achieved."

"It's been more Morgan than me," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Uh-uh," she said, not buying it. "Since we've started working together, your game sales have gone through the roof."

"Well, making a game with a couple of kick-ass women as the main characters kinda helped," Chuck said, grinning. "But, I don't want to go. It has nothing to do with Christmas, it's just hobnob foolery that I care nothing about. Morgan can go and represent the company."

"Chuck, you have to go, and that's final."

"I don't want to," he said, crossing his arms. Sarah walked up to him, looked him in the eye, and gave him a coy smile.

"I really want to go, Chuck. Will you please take me to the party?"

"You know that's not even a little fair," he said, his arms falling away from his chest and feeling like he might lose the ability to speak. She put her index finger on his chest and slowly ran it down.

"I would be so grateful."

"No," he said. Sarah just grinned. "I said, no."

"Okay," Sarah said, and walked into the bathroom. Chuck stood there. "Are you coming in here so I can change your mind?"

"That's not going to work!"

}o{

The next morning

Carmichael Industries

Chuck and Sarah walked in, with Chuck looking a little irritated, and Sarah grinning. She gave him a big kiss, and then went down her hallway and he started down his. Morgan watched the entire thing, and ran to catch up with his friend.

"So, you didn't get out of going to the party?" Morgan asked.

"I expressed my opinions, she expressed hers, and as adults we came to a decision that was best for us as a collective family, business, and just all around good of the world."

"Good of the world?" Morgan asked. Chuck nodded never looking at him. They passed Morgan's office, but Morgan kept right on walking with him. He followed Chuck into the office and sat down in the chair across from Chuck. "So she seduced you." Morgan said, not asked. Chuck put his elbows on his desk and put his head in his hands.

"I'm only human," he mumbled. Morgan reached over and patted his back.

"You poor, poor thing," Morgan said. "Her taking advantage of you like that to get her way. I feel so sorry for you." Chuck lifted his head. "You must feel cheap and used." Chuck grinned.

"You ought to see the dress she bought, it's a red, maybe a salmon," Chuck noticed a shadow by the door and slightly raised his voice. "I really hate it." Sarah came around the corner, her mouth opened, mad. "That will teach you for sneaking up and listening in to a private conversation."

"If it was so private, why were you discussing our love life with Morgan?"

"I never did, Morgan made suggestions, and if I denied them he would have just taken them as the truth."

"He is right, I would have," Morgan agreed. Sarah turned to look at him.

"Oh, look at the time," Morgan said, looking at the wrist with no watch. He bolted out the door. Chuck laughed. Sarah tried to appear to be mad, but she couldn't help herself, and laughed. She stood there a second and looked down, blew out a breath, and then looked at Chuck.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

}o{

Boardroom 5 minutes later

"Let me get this right," Chuck began, a little irritated. Sarah grimaced. "The party, that I don't want to go to, is being hosted at a mansion, that happens to have a computer server that the NSA wants info from, that they feel the best night to access said info is during the party?"

"Yep," Casey confirmed.

"But, we," he said pointing to himself and Sarah. "Are not part of the infiltration team?"

"Right," Sarah said. "We're just going to a party."

"And, you three, expect me, to keep cool, knowing what might be going on?" Sarah scratched the back of her head.

"I'm beginning to think that maybe we shouldn't go," Sarah admitted.

"What about Alex and Morgan?" Chuck asked.

"Them either." Chuck stood there a second thinking and shook his head.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," he muttered to himself. "We have to go. If we pull out and they show up and get identified, it looks too strange. With the Morgan and I and our dates there, it looks pretty natural if Casey and Carina are there. Should we bring Skip?"

"No!" the three yelled at once making Chuck jump back.

"So, we go, to the party?" Sarah asked. Chuck closed his eyes, muttering something to himself, and opened them to see his wife smiling at him, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but you and I stay out of the mission," Chuck said, and then he turned to Carina and Casey. "Unless things go bad, and then you know we're there." Sarah walked over and wrapped her arm around him.

"They'll be fine," she said softly. Casey grunted, and left. Carina shook her head at Chuck.

"You know, you keep this up, and she'll take you on an actual spy mission," Carina said, winking.

"No, I'm not allowed to ever get out of the car," Chuck said. "I'm fine with that, but I can't stand by and see you guys get in trouble." Carina left the room.

"Okay, this is more than you just not wanting to be around people, what is it?" Sarah asked. Chuck sighed.

"So, there will be all these nerds there, and see me with my incredible wife, and," Chuck shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down. "And I can't dance and I'll make a fool out of both of us, and they'll all want to know what someone as incredible as you is doing with a nerd like me," he said quickly. Sarah shook her head, grabbed his, and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn't slow, it was hard, full of passion, and Chuck heard colors and saw sounds. When she pulled away, she smirked.

"You," was all she said, shaking her head. "Have you got anything pressing the next few days?"

"Nope, I kept the calendar open, figured we get ramping up on new games after the first of the year," he replied. Sarah nodded, and pressed a button. "Alex, I'm going to need your help, get the Guys." Sarah literally had three guys on staff, mostly retired agents, that she used for everything from just picking their brains about missions, extra muscle at an event, and anything they thought they would be good at. These "guys", all retired, called themselves the Guys. Their cover job was maintenance, but they were just as likely to be in a mission briefing. They rarely went out into the field as active agents, but they were all certified in all firearms, and they all thought of themselves as Sarah's dad. In fact, the one Chuck referred to as the lead guy, Ted, was currently dating Emma. The other two, Bob and Fred had been trying to persuade Chuck to hang Christmas decorations in his hallway the past several days, and at this point just offered to do it. The three came into the conference room with Alex.

"Gentlemen, my husband has to attend a gala with me, and is worried about embarrassing me because he can't dance," Sarah said.

"You don't know any dances?" Ted asked. Chuck looked down.

"Awesome taught me the Tango before he died," Chuck answered.

"See, you do know something."

"It was the woman's part," Chuck said softly. Ted looked over at the other two, who shrugged.

"Let's go with he doesn't know anything," Fred said. "We could move these tables out, and set up a dance floor. I know a few, and I know Bob does as well."

"Think we could teach Morgan?" Alex asked, smiling.

"I'll run get him," Bob said, and took off.

"How about whoever knows the dance, kind of runs things, and the other two will watch and try to catch what Chuck and Morgan are doing wrong?" Ted asked.

"Guys, you're good, but I don't know if you're a miracle worker," Chuck said. Sarah bumped him with her shoulder, smirking.

"Trust me, Chuck," she said.

}o{

Three days later, Chuck found himself in the passenger seat of Sarah's Porsche. She said it was their Porsche, but Chuck had never driven it, and frankly he was scared to. As much as he was for the union of their lives, there were some things you just didn't claim as part of your life. He once joked if Sarah had to decide against never having a Porsche again or not have Chuck in her life, she would miss him. She told him that wasn't true, and he believed her, but he didn't want to test it.

For three days he had practiced dancing until he got the all clear from all three of the guys. Tonight, the three had their own mission. Ted and Emma were watching the girls, and Bob and Fred were in the van, providing assistance to Casey and Carina, and support on Chuck's sub-mission. They had given him an earwig, and told Chuck not to use it if he didn't have to. Chuck wiped his palms on his pants again. He looked over at Sarah, who was stunning.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Chuck asked. Sarah looked over at him in surprise. "I know you've been getting out of bed early each morning and going to the bathroom for something and you seem very tired in the evening."

"I think I've had a touch of a stomach bug," Sarah said. "I haven't given it to you or anything have I?"

"No," Chuck said, unconvinced but didn't want to push her.

"You know all that dancing every day has tired me out a little," Sarah said smiling. "Not that I haven't enjoyed it, I'm just a little out of practice. Maybe I need to up my training at the office."

"Sarah, you're not an agent, you are in tremendous physical shape, and you are going to make people's jaws bounce off the floor with that dress," Chuck said. Sarah smiled at him.

"You look quite dapper yourself tonight Mr. Bartowski," Sarah said.

"It's the love of a good woman," Chuck replied, grinning. Sarah laughed at that.

"You ready for this?" she asked.

"Sure, what could possibly go wrong?" Chuck said, smiling. The smile fell from Sarah's face.

}o{

For thirty minutes Chuck and Sarah made the rounds. Chuck shook hands, said very little about his games unless asked. Sarah hung by him, knowing how much he hated what was going on. The whole time Chuck was worried about his friends getting caught. Chuck tried to ignore the sounds he heard in his ear from time to time. He caught a fragment of sentences here and there, but for the most part, he was able to ignore them. They were standing in the corner, away from the crowd, Chuck drinking champagne, Sarah water, when it came through.

"We need help," Casey's voice came over the earpiece. "We're near the server room, but we need a distraction, and if we don't get one quick, we're in trouble." Chuck looked over at Sarah trying to figure out a way to ask her how they could make a distraction when he noticed her eyes. He pointed at her, his mouth open.

"You have in an earwig," he accused. Sarah's mouth dropped open and she looked at him, trying to appear angry.

"Well, well, you have to have one on as well to know what's going on," she accused right back.

"I have one in for support of dancing," Chuck said, trying to sound innocent. Sarah gave him a look. "Fine, I was worried about them."

"This is great and all guys, and I'm glad to see you two working on your communication, but this isn't helping Casey and Carina," Bob cut in.

"Can you get them to play tango music?" Chuck asked. Sarah nodded. "Do it," he said. "And when we start, we need to be as close to the refreshment table as possible." Sarah gave him a look and just nodded.

The music began, and they moved to the dance floor. The dance began, and everything was going smoothly, much to Chuck's surprise.

"Chuck, whatever you're doing it's not working," Casey said.

"I was afraid of that," Chuck said. "On this turn, make sure and let go of my hand," Chuck said to Sara who really wasn't sure what was going on. "Remember me fondly," he said. As he moved around her, Chuck tripped his on foot on purpose, fell forward, bounced into another couple, and completely lost his balance, flailing his arms and legs everywhere, and went crashing into the ice sculpture. He had everyone's attention.

"That did it!" Carina whispered happily. Sarah saw her husband, the butt of everyone's laughter, laying across the remains of a broken table with the ice sculpture crashed around him. He apologized profusely to everyone. She went to help him up, knowing what he had just sacrificed for his friends.

}o{

Chuck sat in the computer lab at Carmichael, working on the information downloaded. There was an encryption key, but he almost had it broke. He was wearing sweats from his locker, his suit ruined.

"Beckman is paying for that suit," Sarah growled at Casey as she walked into the computer room. She walked up behind him and wrapped both arms around him. "I love you so much," she said. Chuck put his hand over her hands that were wrapped around him. "The one thing you were trying to avoid, getting embarassed, and you did it just to save this mission."

"I didn't do it for the mission," Chuck said. "I did it for Casey and Carina."

"Thanks, Chuck," Casey said. "Those were your peers, I know what tonight meant to you."

"You're my friend," Chuck said shrugging. "That wins every time, besides, now no one will think I'm Carmichael!" Chuck smiled, but Sarah shook her head. Bob and Fred came into the computer lab.

"I don't remember that being in your training of how to dance, Kid," Bob said, grinning.

"I was trying to improvise," Chuck said, still working on the code. Sarah had nuzzled her face into his neck. He hit enter and turned his head to her. "I think I've got it," he said. She kissed him on the cheek.

"Good, let's get you out of here."

"I'm fine, Sarah," he said.

"Well, I'm not, I liked that suit, and I hate all those people think you are this klutz-"

"Sarah," he said softly. "I could care less what they all think. I only care about you, my family, and friends." He got up out of the chair and took her hand. "Let's go home. Besides I'm sure Ted wants to go home some time tonight." Sarah had a look on her face. Chuck's eyes widened. "Or, not."

}o{

Chuck woke the next morning to an empty bed. He looked at the alarm and it was nearly 10. They had gotten home late, and then had gotten involved with some extracurricular activities. Chuck stretched, and felt someone watching him. He turned and saw a grinning blonde head in the door.

"Gonna sleep all day?" she asked.

"Nope, I'm getting up right now," he said.

"Good, breakfast is ready, and then you and I have cookies and fudge to make," Sarah said.

"It's rather quiet."

"Emma and Ted have taken the kids for the day to Ted's kid's house. They have kids close to the same age."

"Are they getting serious?" Sarah shrugged. Chuck gave her a look.

"You mean to tell me, you, former superspy Agent Walker, has no idea of a guy's intentions when it comes to your mother?"

"Well, when you put it like that…" Sarah said grinning. "Cooomme on. We have the place to ourselves." Chuck looked at the empty spot beside him. "I really want to make this stuff for everyone at work."

"Okay," Chuck said. "I need a shower."

"You're just going to get flour everywhere, so it doesn't really matter," Sarah said shrugging.

"Why do I feel like you're going to throw some at me before the day's over?" Sarah pointed at herself in shock.

"You wound me," Sarah said.

"Nah, I wounded myself crashing through that table. It looks so much easier in wrestling."

"Chuck," she said softly. "I'm really sorry that had to happen last night. You don't deserve for those people to think anything less than the truth about you." She came in to the room, and pounced on him, catching him in a tackle. "You just don't stop giving, no matter how it makes you look or how it affects you." Chuck kissed her head.

"If I didn't do everything in my power to help our friends, I could never live with myself."

"Go shower, and come join me for Christmas heartwarming."

"You think you can heartwarm me Mrs. Bartowski?" Sarah smirked, and Chuck couldn't help but grin. She leaned in to his ear.

"I will heartwarm you until you beg me to quit," she whispered in his ear, got up, and left the room.

}o{

For the next few hours, Sarah and Chuck made cookies, fudge, and all sorts of goodies for gift bags for everyone at Carmichael.

"I don't get it Sarah, you get them gifts, so why go to all this trouble?" he asked. She hip bumped him as she went by.

"First, it's no trouble. Second, anyone can buy someone a gift. Third, I enjoy it. Fourth, it maybe the only thing someone gets that feels like home, a happy home." Chuck just stared at her.

"I know they didn't teach that in the CIA," Chuck said. Sarah just grinned.

"I think that's it," she said, looking at everything either cooling or already in packaging. She checked her phone. "And I just got a text, they'll be back in about two hours," Sarah said walking into the other room.

"Okay, you win," Chuck said.

"What do you mean?" Sarah asked from the other room.

"I'm heartwarmed; the cookies, goodies, Christmas Music, multiple minor food fights, and you and Molly, I give. You've heartwarmed me." Sarah walked in holding mistletoe over her head.

"Oh, then I guess I won't need this," Sarah said, fake pouting.

"Well, we can never be too sure I won't relapse," Chuck said smiling. "You did say it would be two hours until they get back." Sarah walked toward him smiling.

"I think we have just enough time for a proper check."

A/N: Okay, not as Christmasy as the last, but we're heading for the end of this little three parter. I hope you've enjoyed it. See you soon for part 3, and a whole lot more Molly.