#they saw i'm leaving the place in a wheelchair cause i can't walk more than a couple steps so soon after waking up

[awaybacktothen]

general anasthesia is a trip

[flowercrowncrip]

Hi, I saw your post about asks! So, I figured I'd ask this. Since you're a wheelchair user, how would one know if they *need* a wheelchair or if it would help? I'm deep in the middle of figuring out my own disability and atp I'm not sure what I need. Also, I hope you're having a nice night

Hi! My night is going as well as it can given the circumstances, but these asks are really helping.:-)

The decision to start using wheelchair is really personal and difficult. When needed a wheelchair can open up a person’s world, but sometimes a wheelchair is overly restrictive and other aids, treatments, or symptom management might enable you to live fuller life. I I don't know about your exact circumstances, so I'll try and stick to my experiences and more general advice

I started using a wheelchair when I became unable to walk more than a few metres without stopping even with walking aids and was missing out on school because of it. It was a decision I made with the help of my physiotherapist, who told me that if a wheelchair would allow me to do things I wouldn’t do if I didn’t use one, then it would be better to use one for those things.

It was a hard decision for me to make, because it was important to me to preserve my ability to walk for as long as possible, but ultimately being able to leave the house is really important, and I was able to find a balance of walking when I was able to and using a wheelchair when I wasn't until the time came when I wasn't able to walk at all.

Other people I know have started using a wheelchair at the point when they might be able to physically do something without using a wheelchair, but using the wheelchair makes it less painful or more bearable in other ways. I also hear a lot of people say in hindsight they’d wished they’d started using a wheelchair at this point. And I would never tell anyone that that was the wrong decision to make

Ultimately I would recommend if at all possible to get lots of different perspectives, from wheelchair users like me, and also disabled people who use other mobility aids. I also I think it's important to talk to professionals like physiotherapists and occupational therapists if you can. I know this can be difficult, especially if you face additional barriers to healthcare or lack a diagnosis, but a professional will often better understand the options available to you specifically, and might know about particular aids or braces or intervention that could work well for your conditions and symptoms and that might cause fewer health complications (like pressure sores, atrophy, strain injuries and constipation) and be less restrictive than a wheelchair (because the world is unfortunately set up in a way that means there are a lot of places you just can't go with a wheelchair, but might be able to with other aids).

Ultimately though I am just one wheelchair user, and this is your life and your choice to make. I really hope you can figure things out and find a solution that works for you, and that it helps make your life enjoyable, whether it’s a wheelchair or something else.

[anotherfanaccount]

A long (spoilers included) review of Dunki.

Because I think I should just write it all out.

Starts with classic Hirani flavour. A main character on a wheelchair plotting an escape. And they succeed. Mannu runs away to meet her lawyer to ask about her visa condition. The answer is negative but she's desperate to be back home now. So comes the names of Hardy, a guy who she hasn't met in 25 years now.

Cue Hardayal Singh Dhillon, in all his greys and old age cramps running a race and also winning it but well a call from Mannu, who cares about a damn race. He answers no I'm not coming to get you and she smiles saying 'kand' ho gaya hai. And how can the 'Banda' refuse.

This was the introduction of a tale so simple, yet so real. Why do people leave their homes? The homes even with the poverty still has the warmth and love. But what could be more glaring than poverty for unemployed youth. Sometimes it's heartbreaking love, a love so powerful that people decide to end themselves instead of trying to survive through. That's Sukhi and Jassi's subplot, which only propels Hardy to decide on the donkey route, a decision that'll change all their lives forever.

And so starts the dunki, shown very aesthetically if I might say the horrors and the dangers. But you know your leads survive so you hold on. They wade underwater, scared and tired. They hide in freezers, cold. They walk through the desert among skeletons and evilness. Mannu has a cathartic experience here. And you wonder what exactly is the point of going through all this trouble without any guarantee. But they manage to reach their destination.

And now awaits another horror. Immigrants are looked down upon. They aren't humans in the eye of the citizens and don't get the dignity to live like humans either. Toiling through odd jobs, sending fake pictures to assure their families and to give them a better life is their only cause now. But Hardy doesn't have any of that. He's there for Mannu, so he starts the point of going back. But necessity is larger than lives for some people.

So they get caught and the rest seek asylum but Hardy can't lie, won't lie that it was his country that's unsafe for him. So he's sent back.

Fascinatingly dark that deported people get to travel safely back to the places they tried so hard to escape. It's along the same line as punishing people attempting suicide. This helps no-one.

Anyway 25 years pass offscreen. We get to know in passing that the families back home are doing well enough but our 3 asylum seekers are not getting the visa to return home. But trust Hardy, he can do it.

And Hardy does, with a bit of cunning and so much old man charm, the old man does it for his Mannu. But Mannu is dying. And ah well. What beats a tragic love story.

What beats a movie with so much heart and love and pain underlying the humour and constant laughter.

You just end up sitting a bit longer in the theatre and hoping to gather your thoughts because there's so much and yet there's this numbness. Is it because you saw the best movie, maybe. There's no best movie as per me honestly. Is it because this topic is way too real but so far from your reality that it shocks you a bit more. Is it because you love the man frontlining these moving images and you can see no fault.

Honestly I don't even want to conclude. If I could I would like to hug Sukhi right after the phone call, and Hardy after the court and at the terrace. But I'm guessing Hardy will be fine. Wo sambhal lega apne ko. Mannu I hope you had happy moments, even if they were the bare minimum.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

PROMPT

Che “Taza” Romero x Reader

@stardust1978 asked: I wanted to request a Dialogue Prompt #5 under Angst with Taza when you are taking requests again. Thank you :)

Prompt: “My heart tells me to kiss you, my head tells me to walk away”.

Word Count: 2.6k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​ @sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @arved 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Who said ‘ride or die’ for first time, surely he knew you, because ride is your life. 

“Nine-one-one, what's your emergency?”

“She came from nowhere! I didn't see her!”

It wasn't true. Once your helmet is on, your motorbike and you are one. There's no difference, as if you got melted with it when you turn the engine. You know every single inch of Cali's asphalt. You know every traffic light, every signal, every road, every street, every city, every single driver. You didn't come from nowhere, but he was looking his phone when he crossed the corner's avenue. He didn't see you, that's true. But you came from Sunset Boulevard with Figeroa street. You was driving fast, as always, but respecting the limit.

You were lying on the ground, upside down, when you realized that you couldn't move your right leg. You couldn't even feel pain. As the orders of your brain reached the toes of the left foot, the right foot didn't respond. Nothing. Breathing fast, you were drowning into agonizing coughs. You're a nomad. You know every single bone of your anatomy. You know what's broken, you know what's fragmented and you know what's twisted. You're choking because of the blood filling your lungs, for a splintered rib. And only when you hear the sound of an ambulance sirens, you let yourself go.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

A hard headache is lashing your whole body, growling slightly whilst feeling some long fingers tangling into yours. You know their touch pretty well, you don't even need to open your eyes to confirm it. Those fingertips have traveled through your skin so many times you lost the count long time ago. They hold yours tightly, with a trembling and cracked lips kissing every one, every knuckle and the wrist. You're sleepy, coughing for a while and raising your free hand to your belly when a bitter twinge hits it. You don't need to ask where you are, 'cause you know it at the exact moment you notice your right leg immobilized hanging of the metal structure of the bed. 

Feeling weak and decayed, you turn your face at him, opening your eyes so slowly. The man drags his chair a little bit closer, leaning above the hospital bed to leave some dearly kisses on your forehead while your free sleepy hands toured your stomach till reaching his nape. It's been a long time since you saw him in Santo Padre. And even if you think he betrayed you, Taza still being the most important person in your life. And he will always be.

You met him sixteen years ago in Santa Madre, when you were almost fifteen. You stole a loaf of bread. You didn't have family, nor money, nor a job. You were a child suffering the poverty of the Mexican border. And as a fallen angel from heaven, he found you. He was running away too. 

He saved you and you saved him.

Taza taught you every single thing you know today. About animals, about guns, about motorbikes and mechanic, about how to be silent, about fighting. He welcomed you in his ranch, he gave you a family and he brought you back to life. 

“What ha—happened?” You mutter feeling high because of the morphine.

“A guy missed a traffic light and hit you”. He says licking his lips, choosing the correct words.

“And wh—what happened to me?” His sigh is more painful that have every bone of your body broken.

“A rib pierced your left lung, but you're okay now, cariño”.

“And what abo—about my leg?”

The Mayan doesn't know how to tell you. Isn't that bad, actually. But riding is your life.

“Femur fracture”. He can't lie to you. At least, not a second time since you met.

You turn your neck and face to the opposite side, feeling awake suddenly. You know what it's means. Your eyes filled with tears and your heart racing. The sanitary machines starts to beep louder, claiming the attention of some nurses who come to try to control your pulse. 

“I'm ok—okay! Fuckin' leave me!” You cry squeezing over the bed, while Taza tries to hug you.

“Sh, (Y/N). Calm down, calm down. Everything is gonna be fine. Sleep a little more...” He whispers on your eyes, watching sideway how a doctor inject a whitish liquid into the line connected to your wrist.

You let yourself go again, between Che's strong arms, making you feel as if you were at home again.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

He explained you that you fell with your knee slightly curled and that was why you broke it. Luckily, in Los Angeles didn't wait for transferred you to San Diego, to make the surgery necessary. After one day unconscious, they flew you in helicopter to Santo Padre. And even if Taza told you that you could walk again and drive your motorbike, you couldn't help but feel anxious, terrified and mournful. 

It was one long month in the hospital, receiving visitors every day from Stockton, Charming, Tijuana, Mexico... Even from the charters of Connecticut and Pennsylvania. You didn't used to talk a lot, mostly some words and some sentences. You were submerged on a gloomy environment, crying all the time because of the pain and the rage of being bedridden. Taza slept with you every night, before complaining all day about his back hurting with Bishop and Tranq. But he would do anything for you. Anything.

After the high medical and all the information the doctors gave you for the home life and rehabilitation, you agreed with the idea of coming back to the ranch. Actually, Taza as the stubborn man he is and Bishop as the president of your charter, forced you. They didn't give you any options. So you just ‘agreed’. Your next six month were going to be summed in the first one to rest, the next four going two times per day to the hospital and the last one trying to walk by your own. Feeling pain and agony with every step until you can make it disappear, by following the recommendations.

You used to be laid on the bed with the blinds half down, holding tightly your black leather vest against your chest, feeling that it was your only hope to wake everyday. Of course, there are things in life worse than a femur fracture, but for you it was painful in a psychologically speaking way. The doctors recommended the crew and your friends to talk you about day-life, happy situations or whatever that didn't let you think about it, so you could avoid  a depression and harmful thoughts. So when Mayans came to visit you at the ranch, sitting by a side of your bed or lying next to you, they were always trying make you laugh and talk. But you couldn't. You were like a scared child believing that the sheets were shields that protected you about any hurt.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

Opening your eyes, rolling over the mattress, hearing some whispers outside of your room that won't let you sleep. Your heart race, getting up on your palms, when you can't find your vest on it. You look for it on the floor, behind the blankets, behind the pillows. Nothing. With a lot of effort you move your whole and heavy body to the wheelchair next to the bed, supporting your arms on it with a growl drowned in your throat. Rolling your fingers above the wheels faster than you can think, you go towards the door opening it loud and making it crash to the wall. Following the hallway to the living room, the voices stir anxiously. Tran and Gilly are blocking your gaze to the huge table, where you used to meet al the Mayans for a lunch, a dinner or an impromptu meeting.

“Look at you! You did it by yourself!” Angel is very proud, leaning towards you before your able to kick his crotch with your good leg, making him fall to the floor between whinings and sobs.

“Hey, hey, take it easy, karate kid!” Creeper holds your shoulders, while EZ press his hands on your tights and on your left leg, to avoid the fact that you hit them too.

“Where's my kutte?! What are you doin'?!” You shout with your eyes filled with tears, stirring to loosen from the grips. 

“Cariño, calm down”. Then you hear his voice, appearance behind the big guys in front of you.

“You, fuckin' traitor! You're doin' it again! I fuckin' hate you, bastard!” You want to kill him, yelling full of rage while the tears run through your cheeks soaking the shirts.

“Fuck, (Y/N)! Calm yo' fuckin' self!” Angel growls trying to getting up from the floor.

“Bishop, please! I'll ride again! I'll soon”. Your cry gets louder seeing how the man is cutting a patch of your vest, between Tranq and Gilly, above the table. “It's the only thing I have! Please, don't!”

The president doesn't say a word  knowing how much you're suffering and don't giving a shit about it. Riz leans close to you, slapping him when he tries to clean your tears.

“Don't fuckin' touch me!” You scream at him totally mad, squeezing on the wheelchair and trying to get up of it.

“Jesus Christ, calm down!” He says somewhat scared.

“I earned it! I did it! Please! Don't take it away!” 

You feel like the air is leaving your lungs and your mouth when Bishop holds the kutte on air having a look of it, before starting to walk towards you. And when you're able to grab it, you do it holding it tightly on your chest, raising your gaze confused. He makes a soft move with his chin, pulling a way some inches the vest to see the new patch. The “nómada” one isn't there anymore, having been changed for “Miembro de honor”. Gasping not knowing exactly what to say, you hold it close again.

“It's the only thing I have...” You mutter with trembling lips.

“We know”. Bishop says bending down to leave a kiss on your forehead with a hand placed on your nape. “No one is gonna take it away, querida. But at least, I made you go out of your room”.

“Yea', the kick was worth it”. Angel says with a hoarse voice rubbing his crotch.

You can't help but smiling for first time after long months, when Creeper and EZ  let you go. Riz helps you to wear it, putting it well on. It looks good on you, better than ever and you're starting to feel blissful again.

“We decided to have a day off, here with you. And we bought you free alcohol beer, so you can drink too”. EZ says almost singing, making you chuckle. “And pops' meat for the barbecue”.

Sounds good. Really good. So you nod without doubting pulling away some hair bristles behind your ears.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

You can't remember when was the last time you had so much fun with your true family. Vicki came too with some of your friends and Letti, who turned out to be better than you expected, after Coco told you so much about her. And even if you didn't want the day to end, you were waiting for it, so you could be alone with Taza and tell him that you were sorry about what you said early morning.

After all the goodbyes, and the apache bringing you back to the inside, you turn at him with some effort on the wheelchair. Placing both hands on your lap and pursing your lips, your gaze travels looking his.

“I didn't me—”.

“It doesn't matter”. He interrupts you, passing you away to let his body fall down on the nearest sofa.

Turning again, you guides yourself to him, insisting about it.

“I'm sorry, Che”.

“God, forget it, (Y/N)”. Rolling his eyes, he lies his head against the back of the sofa.

“No, 'cause I know it hurt you. And it's not fair”. You continue, getting up of the chair to jump with the other leg by his side.

He doesn't say anything when you wrap his neck with both arms, hugging him. Taza only clicks his tongue, slicing a hand between your back and the sofa to put you closer, holding you against himself. Resting your face on his chest, closing your eyes, yes, it's feels like you're at home again.

“You know what?” You say almost in a whisper.

“What?”

“My heart tells me to kiss you, but my head tells me to walk away”. It's not a secret, but sounds like. And you're not ashamed of recognizing it.

“You can't walk, idiot”.

You chuckle shaking your head, raising it to him, touching his cheek with your nose.

“Don't leave me again, please”. He sighs rubbing his forehand. “I know I fucked up things with that... chick. But I truly love you and I'm gonna regret all my life for hurting you”.

“Just... give me some time”.

“The one you need, I could wait all my life”. Pressing his lips on yours in a smooth kiss, you travel one of your hand towards a side of his neck. 

The love you feel for him has never disappear, not even when you tried so hard to hate him when you became a nomad just to run away from all the sorrow he provoked you three years ago, a winter cold night when you arrived of a two weeks travel with the Stockton charter. By that time, you were going through some trouble and each one had a different way of facing it, instead of remaining together.

┅┅ ┅ ┅ ┅┅

It's been almost six month since the accident and everything has changed. Taza is driving his bike, with you by his back, towards the clubhouse. You called Bishop before to meet the crew on the front yard. You didn't tell him why, having a little surprise for them. So when you finally come and the guys are waiting you there, EZ is the one who notices that you're not carrying the crutches, drawing a big smile on his face and palming his brother's chest before pointing at you. 

Taking off the helmet and giving it to Taza, proud-hearted of what are you going to do, you practically jump out of the motorbike. You can see every reaction on every face. They're happy and a little shocked when you put your right foot on the floor. You're walking without help. And even if you feel a little pain yet, there's nothing that could stop you now. You're like a child giving her first steps. Limping very slightly, you open both arms.

“What's up, guys?! Cat got your tongues?!” You laugh happily going towards them.

Bishop is the first one who holds you in his arms when you're close enough, laughing too for your feat.

“You did it, querida”. He says, and you're sure the president is about to cry.

“I told you!”

“Are you gonna kick me again, if I try to touch you, mi dulce?” Angel walks somewhat closer with a funny gesture on his face, before hugging him.

“The doc' said I could ride in two weeks, but I'm gonna wait another one, just in case”. You inform them, with Angel's left arm on your shoulders. “So, where's my bike?”

“Resting too”. Taza says then, kissing your cheek. “Waiting for you”.

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

House, M.D. Fanfic (8/?)

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to leave a note on my story. I hope you continue to enjoy my kind of rewrite and/or additions to certain episodes! As always, I don't own House. If I did, Lisa Edelstein would have gotten the respect she deserved contact wise for a season 8.

As stated in previous chapters, the story follows the big picture laid out on the show, but with my own take on things. This chapter starts with Cuddy's struggle to keep it a secret from House about his previous diagnosis being correct. I should say that I REALLY don't care much for early season 3 Wilson, and I'm going to do my best not to let that affect the storytelling. This chapter is longer... lots of story development to get through.

Thanks to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for reading my ideas and providing positive feedback! Anything in the way of feedback is always appreciated! Enjoy!

xxxxx

She was definitely not comfortable lying to House about this. He deserved to know he was right. She didn't know why Wilson suddenly thought he needed to teach House a lesson on humility and make her a party to it. "I have to tell him. I see him every day. I..."

"Everybody lies."

Wilson's words echo through her head that night as her head lay on his shoulder, her fingers tracing lines across his chest. "You were right."

He turned his head slightly to see her better. "I'm right about a lot of things. You're going to have to be a little more specific."

She pushed up slightly on her elbow, the sheet sliding down her chest a bit. "Your patient. In the wheelchair," she started.

He smiled slowly. "You gave him the shot."

She sighed, dropping her head back to his shoulder. "I gave him the shot."

"Why?"

"Because I know you. Because you see things the rest of us don't see. Because as infuriating as it is, you're never wrong about the medicine."

He smiled smugly. "I was right."

"Yes," she sighed, rubbing her face. "You're always right. The man stood up from his wheelchair and hugged his son."

"You weren't going to tell me..."

She looked up at him then. "Wilson thought it was a bad idea..."

"Wilson would think this is a bad idea too. That mean you're going to stop sleeping with me to get pregnant?"

"No, of course not..."

"Then why are you suddenly listening to him?"

She was quiet a moment. "You like the high. The night you showed up outside my window with your diagnosis, you were higher than I've ever seen you on Vicodin. We just worry about you."

"And yet you told me anyway," he pointed out, shifting to get up and grab his boxer briefs. He needed to walk. He needed to think.

She made a grab for his shirt and slipped it on. There was an argument brewing. "You're an addict, House. You're always looking for a fix. If it's not Vicodin, it's a medical mystery that only you can solve. If you don't have the puzzle, you get your high in my bed. Its all just a fix for you."

"That's what you think this is? That's all you think you are? A fix because I don't use Vicodin anymore and you told me no at work?" He spun around to face her. The look in her eyes said it all... she did think that's all she was to him. "I'm going home," he started pulling on his clothes.

"House, that's not what I said..."

"You said enough. I got my 'fix.' Keep the shirt." He headed for the front door.

"House!" She called after him. But it was too late as she heard the front door slam. She sighed and for back into bed. She should have said something. She should have told him him she knew she wasn't just a fix...because she did know. This had been going on for months... it was way past just sleeping together to get a fix or to get pregnant.

Her hand moved over the place he'd occupied in her bed not even ten minutes before. How had this even spiraled out of control that quickly? Sliding closer to his pillow, she inhaled his scent. She could hear his bike engine revving as he tore down the street, and she knew sleep was not going to come easy now in her empty bed.

xxxxx

"How's the leg?" she asked cautiously as she opened his door. She wasn't going to push too much since they were at work, but she was trying to judge his mood. Especially since he hadn't bothered to tell her that his leg was starting to hurt again.

He looked up from his desk and saw her entering his office. "My leg is fine."

"You're limping. Cameron thinks it's because we lied to you. We both know that I already told you, so that's not it. Is it because we had a fight?"

"Your breasts are different," he studied her closely, completely ignoring her attempt to talk about him.

She continued unfazed. "Wilson thinks I haven't told you, and that I'm feeling guilty and want to coddle you."

He shook his head. "You're pregnant."

"I'm not pregnant. How badly does your leg hurt?"

"Your breasts are firmer. As someone who had intimate knowledge with the girls, I would know," he stated. "You're pregnant."

"It's called an underwire. Tell me about your damn leg." She was not going to let him deflect by turning the tables on her.

"My leg is fine."

"Let me do a scan on your brain. If the Ketamine is wearing off..."

"Let me do a pregnancy test." They each wanted to test the other. Fair was fair, after all.

"House, I'm not pregnant!" she dropped her voice at the end, not wanting that word to escape the walls of his office.

"You've been taking fertility drugs. You've been getting laid on a regular basis, without protection. Your breasts have enlarged. You're doing crazy things, because I can't think of any other reason why you would ever listen to Wilson about lying to me. You're pregnant."

"You're not always right, you know."

"Actually I am. You said so yourself. I'm never wrong about the medicine. But you and Wilson would just have me think I'm wrong. You'd rather have me doubt myself and lie to me about it than tell me the truth and prove I'm right," he said lowly, massaging his thigh.

"House, let me look at your leg."

"My leg is fine!" After a moment, he dropped his head slightly. "Don't you think if I thought the treatment wasn't working that I'd do something to try to fix it?"

She sighed softly. "If it gets worse, call me." She knew she wasn't getting anywhere with him then, so pushing further was futile. He was still pissed at her for not telling him he was right. She was pissed at herself for going against her better judgement on this and actually listening to Wilson.

xxxxx

He hated that he'd had to grab his cane. He hated that he had taken the pills. He hated that he was now standing on her front porch, leaning against his cane, knocking on her door.

"Tell me the truth. Are you pregnant?"

She wasn't surprised to see him, not really. Not after the way they left things. She was, however, surprised to see him with his cane. "Why do you keep insisting I'm pregnant?" She moved to let him in.

"Why do you keep insisting you're not?" He studied her. That had, afterall, been the purpose of them sleeping together to begin with. She had been very actively trying to get pregnant. So why was she now suddenly opposed to taking a pregnancy test to try to confirm it when he suspected it?

"You're walking with your cane. That means the Ketamine wore off." Now she was deflecting.

"Or it just means I need my next fix. That's what you and Wilson expect of me anyway, right? No puzzle to take my mind off it. Time to give sex a whirl."

She crossed her arms. "That's why you're here?"

"Why not? You have been so eager to welcome me into your bed. Figure I'll get high on endorphins from mind blowing sex and walk out of here without my cane," he said sarcastically. He caught the hurt look on her face at his comment and looked away.

"Call one of your hookers if you want mind blowing sex. I'm not in the mood," she turned to walk away.

"Hookers can do the distraction. They can't do the mind blowing sex. They don't do what you do..." He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He'd crossed a line with that last insult, and he knew it. He'd tried to hurt her with it... knew just what button to push to get the desired reaction. "I took the Vicodin. My leg hurts," he admitted quietly.

She took a step closer then, resting a hand on his arm. "We can figure something out."

He shook his head. "Nope. Tried Ketamine. It didn't work. House the cripple is back for good," he told her simply. He'd gotten a beautiful glimpse into a pain free life, had allowed himself to hope, only to have it yanked away. "Probably for the best. I do my best work this way. Less likely to screw up diagnosing patients when I'm in pain. More likely to be an insensitive ass, but less likely to miss something and screw up the medicine."

"House..."

"Are. You. Pregnant?" his voice low, his eyes dark as he closed down any chance of continuing to talk about himself.

"No," she pulled her hand away and crossed her arms once more.

"Take a test?"

"No. It's not time y..."

"Then how do you know?" He interrupted her, moving closer.

"It's too early to..."

"Better to have another go then. Just to make sure it takes," he murmured lowly, pulling her against him in a kiss then. He was ready to lose himself in her and the way she could make him forget everything else.

At first she was going to push him away, but after a moment, her body melted against his, not bothering to stop him as he pushed her shirt up and over her head. He was in pain. He needed the distraction. Maybe she did too. Maybe she needed the high of sex with him even more than he did. Biting his lower lip as she deepened the kiss, she shoved him back against the wall hard.

He growled when his back hit the wall, his eyes darkening with lust, fingers digging into her skin as he pulled her roughly against him. His mouth moved to her neck, biting her pulse point hard and causing her to hiss, before soothing the spot with his tongue. She'd have to cover that with makeup tomorrow.

Her hands started pulling at his clothes as they worked their way to her bedroom. He closed the door with her body, pushing her back against it as his hands slid to her thighs and lifted her up, using the door to support the added weight so it didn't mess with his leg.

xxxxx

They finally both fell into her bed, breathless and in better moods. "Does that count as makeup sex? Or is that still angry sex?" He asked a moment later.

She lifted her head and couldn't help but smile slightly. "Shut up, House."

"I just need to know if I'm going to be expected to go another round for makeup sex, or if that was already covered..."

She grabbed her pillow from where it had landed on the floor earlier and smacked him lightly with it before shifting to get more comfortable in bed. "Shut up, House." But she did giggle softly to take the bite out of her words. She wasn't mad anymore. He didn't seem to be either. "Go to sleep."

[alltheverses]

I have some Thoughts about Shiro

* Chronic, progressive, ultimately (afaik) fatal disease. His time with the galra was hell, we already knew that. But add on a degenerative condition that seems to cause him pain? And obviously no one would go easy on him. But here's a thing. When you deal with pain all the time... you get good at it. It doesn't get less painful, ever. But you get a higher threshold for when you break. You can hold yourself together for just long enough to do this one thing even when you are so past your limits. It will cost you. But you learn to do it. Because there isn't another choice, not really. Shiro had, horribly, practice for some of what he had to deal with. And I don't say that to take away from his fortitude. I say it because even before he was there, he faced some degree of that every day with no respite. 

It altered the view on saving Matt. Did he factor in Matt's survival rate versus his own built-in limit? Had he thought about this before? It doesn't make him less selfless. If you have limited time... wouldn't you want every minute of it? 

When he joined Voltron, as far as we know he still was dealing with this disease. I doubt anyone besides Keith knew. Shiro takes on the universe while still, still having to deal with everything from before Kerberos and now everything after. Chronic illness and pain does not help mental health. It's a battle to keep your mind in a good place when your own body is fighting against you. And now he has galra tech as part of "his body". I wouldn't be surprised if the druids' experiments got tangled up with past medical experiences. 

* Adam. Clearly he and Shiro had something really special. Had. When you face illness and pain and your own mortality, you need someone who looks out for you, yeah, but more so someone who will stand next to you and help you if you stumble, not tell you not to climb. Enough of the world treats people with disabilities and conditions like they aren't capable, or that they're a burden on their loved ones. Was it hard for Adam to see Shiro in pain? If he saw him push his limits and get hurt? No doubt. But Shiro needed someone who trusted him to know himself. To know his own limits and when it was worth it to go past them. Because there will be times that pushing past known limits is needed. And Adam showed that he didn't have that trust. Being an adult with a chronic condition leaves you in a weird place where people treat you like you are incapable of everything or you must be fine. Infantilizing or ignoring what needs you actually have. (Ex. When I need to use a wheelchair, strangers interact with me very differently than when I am able to walk. They address whoever is pushing my chair instead of me, or speak to me with the assumption that I can't read or may need things explained like they would to a child. I'm 23. Without the chair I am expected to assist with physical activities or be able to handle situations that my body can't tolerate. But I don't /look/ sick.) 

Obviously we only got a glimpse of Adam. But for someone like me, it was painfully familiar. There's context I don't know. But as it stands, I would hate to see Shiro go back to him. 

*Shiro's humor and/or calm in the face of bleak circumstances. He's had to deal with unbelievable loss. Sometimes it's either laugh (even if it's bitterly) or curl up and cry. And that resigned calm, say, when holding the crystals for the teladuv? After living with chronic illness and all that comes with it, a lot of people learn that whatever miserable test, painful procedure, exhausting routine they have to deal with is essentially inevitable and that it makes no difference if you protest, so what's the point? Dealing with it through silence or gallows humor, and breaking later when it's safe... Honestly I can't fully explain this because it is so familiar. 

This concludes my Shiro Has A Condition post. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Real feel: mother fucking wear your gloves!!

So 36 cars all sweept in most with red Xs

19 cars altogether got pulled over

2 cars got arrested I saw one being towed away. Almost 3 did but he self soothed himself and calmed down.

My dad (uncle) came and every car left in the parking lot took off in flight.

Denise the clone also came. She can't jump stsrt a car so she expected me to wait for her then wait for a tow truck and my dad knew we were gonna get in a fight cause ita too dam cold for that and she's on her rape cycle and I refuse to get in a car with her. Because it's annoying and I don't want her feeling satisfied she can breathe the same air as me.

It's 5 minutes, 10 at most to jump. 45 minutes to wait for a man and its like 20 minutes to the store.

And i learned how to jump start without lighting the cables on fire, now. Lucas says "oh please! That's the best way!" But not really. It doesn't actually work...

I have no circulation... So I was ice cold in like 10 minutes. So it would had warmed me, tho.

But yeah dad pulls in and suddenly everyone acts like they're escaping jail.

.... I know i should just went in and stared at that super hottt clone hottie that was super super hot and stocking water... But that IS kinda creepy even if he is Just a clone... I was all driving by in my Wal-Mart wheelchair cart and I was all whoa... Is he..? Wait i gotta see l.. Because he squatted down with his hot warm balls beneath him and so I was all lets stop right here in the middle of life and discuss what's on our shopping list until he comes up from behind the pallet...

"Oh my God. Now i see why I was so in love with you William" while my heart literally leaps from my chest bounces back and goes out of rhythem while pounding through 2 shirts.

So then we laughed at my reaction for half hour

Dam he was rugged and hot...

One time I picked up William early for work and I seen him and he ducked behind some concrete shelving used to block off the street from traffic...

And oh my God...

I was walking and I seen him and I was all "oh does he loo--" and he looked at me, i swear and ducked and so i was all "well I'm gonna go see. I don't think William will mind.. Its not like i totally think hes sexy but he might be... I'll just go see... Is it William..?"

Because he was waaaay sexier at work than home... Like there it's all comfy and fun and sexy but this was outside and he looked all sparkly and God like like yum

Now he claims he saw me and saw "a woman on the prowl way too sexy to be at the job site for any work related reason" so to be safe from a kidnapping situation he decided to hide

And hide he did

I leaned over to peek and he kept hiding and hiding and asked some guys at the truck "is she gone?"

"No"

One asked "why are you hiding from your wife?"

"Man! I got one at home! Well i am engaged. Man is she crazy? Does she look it?! Fuck man! Im gonna be so busted! I need to get home! I can't get kidnapped! Fuck this!"

And my eyes got real wide and the guy at the truck just shrugged cause i was all what do i do?!?!

So i kinda jumped and leaned over real far over the cement shelving. "Well HI!!"

I was gonna ask him if he thought i was a psycho bitch then to my face but i slid on the plastic and unfortunately I was wearing a shorter dress than usual.

So he stood up "ma'am I'm just checking the paperwork ill be right back" and ducked again.

"Baby! Uh hi! Baby I don't want to yell but I think i just showed everyone my thong!!"

"What?! Okay i have to finish the uhh paperwork. Man my wife ain't even here shes at home finishing up supper or something"

"Uhm baby! There's a lot of men here which one do you want me to go home with?!"

"Uh any!! Just not me!!"

Mind you everyone is looking at me and him and listening. This is outta control and m6 husband does not say that shit to me, i tried being solid now it was fight time. So i leaned over the other end of the cement wall he loved more than me and lowered my voice "hey psst yeah. Psst William man that crazy bitch is gone now. Jump in the truck and we will take you home!!"

"Really?!?!" He lowered the clipboard he hid behind. "Oh... No.., see.., no i got a ride already!"

"Yeah with me you dumb goon"

"No in here see!" And he jumped in the back of the truck. "I finished the paperwork. Alright let's go!"

So i started to walk over and he jumped way far back in the truck

"Can you please help me? Are you the one i called?" I asked the guy laughing painfully through the whole ordeal.

He looked me up and down real hard "you sure you dont want me to take yoh home?!"

"Am i even at the right construction site?!?!"

"Yes you are. Here hand him this piece of paper." Then he yelled over "HEY WILL she called a little before lunch and left a note and asked if it was alright if she came up and surprised you and i said yeah.. I didn't know you would go a little crazy..."

"She ain't my wife!! Shes too sexy!"

"WHAT??? IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!! IM FUCKING COMING UP THERE YOU BETTER GET DOWN!"

"No fuck you bi-atch!!! Wait... Honey? Is that you? I recognize your fingernail because you smashed it the other day"

"Oh it's alright. Just come down" i pleaded.

"With the hammer..." He began walking towards me "let me see it" he looked at it. "Miiiiike if you ever do that again I'm beating the shit out of you." And he sat at the end of the tail gate "well i already got a ride home, with him."

"Okay fine"

"Wait let me see what you have in your hand. These are our keys!! These are mine you're not having them and not allowed in my house Like that... Dressed like a... A... Skank!!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Stay here and get gang raped?!"

"Jesus Christ okay babe prove to me you're my wife"

"Okay fine but don't tell me your sorry" i went around the truck and took off my panties wadded them up and stuffed them in his hand "they're your favorite"

"Yeah but everyone knows that!"

"Who do you tell? Who the fuck do you tell about your favorite panties?!" Like im beyond mad. And I am yelling.

"Yeah well where did you get that dress?! Whose money did you use to buy it??! Hmm?"

"Ive had enough of me" i tried to get MY csr keys back and he wouldn't let me take them "being mother fucking nice to you" he was stronger than me So i tried to armpit trick

"Fuck you being mean to me! Come here!"

"You'll tear my dress! No! My shoe!"

"I think she's really upset at me. I think I've upset her" I bent to fix my shoe and my dress didn't cover ... Anything... Back there. "Hey quit it will you?!"

"Just give me back the key to my car and keep every thing else. Fuck it. Im tired of you anyway. I cook i clean and i come to surprise you and this is what i get and I REFUSE TO CRY HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!!!" and i threw the paperwork in his face and busted his nose.

"I,understand you're my baby but did you need to hit me in the face and make my nose bleed?" He said calmly snd slowly

"Youre not bleeding, oh yeah you are. Use the panties"

So this bastard stands up in the back of the truck with my panties to his face and says "Hey Everyone, I'd Like You To Meet My Wife!"

"We've seen a whole lot of her already"

I turn around and there's not 5 or 6 guys anymore. There's 30.

"Oh shit" and I pull my dress down. "Can we just leave?! Please?!?"

"Yeah!! Lets go!!"

So he picked me up and rushes to the car with me and a bunch of dudes come around the corner and i tell him to put me down cause I can feel his hand on my bare ass.

So hes all "goddang it why did you dress so sultry?!"

"For my husband!!! who is apparently a God dang Ass Hole!!!!!!! when hes at work!!"

"Oh honey i didn't mean anything by---"

"Come on let's go!!!" As we rush around the corner there's like 50 construction workers staring hard. "I am never doing this again!!"

"Why?!"

"Hurry and please open the door!!" He reached across and unlocked it

I covered my face with my hands "oh my god oh no you're insane!"

"What? What are you saying to me?!"

"Don't you know you have PTSD? Male trauma? Because I Didnt!!"

"Well yeah I was kidnapped when i was like five!!"

"But you didn't even know me!?!"

"You never wear makeup and not dresses that short!"

"I do all the time!! I walk around partially naked all the time!!!" I looked at traffic "its just the lipstick here let me wipe it off"

"Thats better you could did that at the construction site!"

"Well i just put it back on in the car and I didn't know that's why you were freaking out and going insane on me!!"

"Put it back on?! Why the Hell?!

"I ate a biscuit"

"Why did you put it on in the first place?"

"Have you seen in my caboodle? I have a ton of it! When you get home, look!!"

"Okay alright i will"

"Where are we going? I thought we would go to Tulsa"

"Not now! I gotta go home to make sure you are --- you!!! Now come on!!

"You're the one driving"

"Its my car!!"

"No! Its mine and my dad's see the registration?!?!"

"That's it I'm gonna pull over. Let me see the mole that's on your thigh"

"Its not a mole! Its a freckle!"

"Fine let me see it And you drive!!"

"Okay Okay fine I'll let you see it"

He looks "ok you're you then!"

"Who else would i be?!?"

"A clone!"

"From the freezer?!? Come on! Not me! Let me drice then!"

"You're losing your cool and you never do!"

"Omg Jesus Christ are you kidding me?!?"

"Uhm no"

"I need to start smoking pot. We need to get our own place and we do then this happens."

"Smoking pot?! Uhm no! I do not think so! Here you drive then!! You're a nervous wreck. You need control"

"No i need sex but my husband is INSANE!! I try a nice surprise to be unspoiled and then this happens!"

"Who calls you spoiled?!"

"YOU DO!!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you want a hotel?!"

"What?! No we got dishes at home. They will get me unstressed"

"HON-EY!"

"I'm getting in the back seat PULL OVER!!"

"Now I'm talking! You think i want you to come all this way to go home?"

"BACKSEAT!!!"

As soon as the back Windows fogged a truck of his co-workers drove by honking.

When we finished he said

"We are going home because you NEVER do that to Me!!"

"It was a surprise!! And no im not driving! Im staying in the back seat!"

"You NEVER do that to Me either!!!"

"Well it's a surprise!!!"

I wanna cry he upset me so much so I'm,all screaming from my throat and it sounds all shrill and out of control and hes like trying to calm me down and I don't want to be upset and feeling like life is out of control but he really showed me shit i hadn't seen and I was scared to be at home because what was next? I used a different sauce because I was pregnant and so he throws me out into the street? Barefoot and all because i look different? So i just cried myself to sleep in the back seat of my own car because I didn't know what else to do and it was the only thing i could accomplish that day,

I heard the car door open and close...

He didn't go around the other side to open and get me out... It was dark and cold already.

"There's no one upstairs. Now what do you want to do?" He sat in the car

"I'll just go to my parents. I'll come get my clothes later"

So he yanked open the car door, jumped out, threw the seat forward, yanked me out of the car, threw me over his shoulder, put his hand over my bare ass and carried me up 3 flights of stairs.

Put me in the single comfy chair we had and made dinner.

He sat on a pillow on the floor next to me and fed me.

"What are we going to do if i get pregnant and my body starts to change?"

"Ill just take pictures. I'll use my Polaroid"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I had found out I wss pregnant that morning... Feeling sick like crazy... I took a test in the gas station bathroom. Wrapped it in my purse and went and bought a new dress and shoes and went home, took a bath did my hair and thought I had the whole day still so i should go surprise him at work and go out in Tulsa and make it special... Not days later after the whole town had to come over and seperate us from fighting cause I'm kinda crazy pregnant... And after 2 weeks of couple's therapy and he says "oh baby you're sick a lot i think you may be pregnant. You think?"

"Oh yeah i am. Check my purse."

He did take me out to Tulsa... And I was a bit sad... Because we had been through a lot since that day.. And i wanted telling him to be really special... Turned out he was.

.

.

.

I had taken Polaroid of myself that morning before i got dressed and one from the side and then one after. And wrote "oh!" "Baby!!" "Surprise!" And the date.

Cause I learned how to set the timer and take one of myself

So he went and got them abd said "okay im sorry i shouldn't yelled at you for taking naked Polaroids of your self. Now I see why you would take them. Okay?"

"I guess."

"DID I NOT APOLOGIZE RIGHT?!"

"MAYBE I DIDN'T YELL AT YOU RIGHT WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!"

He got up like he was fuming mad and circled me like a vulture i Put my arms up and he circled me 2x more then stopped in front of me and I put my hands on his neck

"Are we going to bed? Ill cook dinner after"

"Mmhmmm I'll help!"