#they remembered he's alive and made him adorable too
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mullermilkshake · 1 day ago
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Hide and seek
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Satoru is bored, Suguru decides to join him. It all starts off with one bet, then snowballs out of control.
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Frontman!Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader x Frontman!Suguru Geto (Squid game au) Request by @vampir-queen Tags- MINORS DNI,fem!reader,no use of Y/N,Squid game AU,Mentions of Sukuna, Manipulation,Coercion,Betting,Gambling,Mentions of violence,Guns
Part one
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“So, you wanna make bets this year?” Satoru watched through the glass down into the player room.
Suguru joined him, placing his arms behind his back watching the same view, only his expression was more impassive than Satoru’s. “Four hundred players… the odds are too low for anything entertaining. You can go join the VIP’s in their games, but I’d rather just watch how it plays out than putting money on one particular person.”
“I dunno, I reckon this year will be different. Sukuna’s already given me clearance to go in there myself. Though I’m pretty sure he agreed just to get rid of me.”
“He did?” Suguru’s head spun towards him in his periphery.
“Mhm. So, do you still want to keep the bets off the table?” Satoru was pretty pleased with himself, he took one glance at Suguru to gauge his mood.
He was smiling. “Alright then, let’s make one bet.”
“Great.” Satoru noticed a worker enter the room with the player uniform. “Name it.”
“Who wins? You, or me.”
“You’re coming in too?” He pulled the zip of his jumpsuit down, never caring that the worker had not left yet.
“Why not? I think it’ll prove to be entertaining. Let’s wait for this game to play out and sneak in afterwards. Sound fair?”
“Last one to the final round wins, huh?” 
The only advantage Satoru and Suguru had was knowing the games already. That being said, they had no information for what order they were going to be played which made it just as entertaining.
“No safety nets. No second chances.”
“You got a deal, let the best man win, right?”
Suguru took his hand and shook on it, Satoru was amused by the idea and stepped into the player's uniform with enthusiasm. The first game being red light, green light, as per usual like every other year, Satoru could play this game with his eyes closed going backwards.
Boring. 
But the other games were new, exciting and he prayed that they would at least make his heart race so he could get a sense of what the other players felt. Even only for a second, he wanted to gain a scrap of fear for his life just to feel alive.
Because Satoru was never scared. He’d never experienced anything close, his life wasn’t as in danger as someone might think. But where was the fun in that?
With four hundred players in the beginning, two hundred and twelve made it through the first game. Not bad, but the number could be lower. The next game would be a pinnacle turning point for the game if the vote was in favour of staying.
Satoru and Suguru slipped in when the others trudged back to the player room, unknowing of the additional two men following them. He first noticed the depressive atmosphere along the winding staircase, where he was excited, glowing in fact.
Sukuna had never let Satoru join in, not once, let alone two people from high lines of management. That didn’t go to say he had not been down here before, Satoru remembered his ownership of a triangle mask and the perks that came with it.
Though the possession of a square mask had more perks, enough to get him going with the amount of control and power he could abuse. Satoru was the type of man who, unlike Suguru, took pleasure in seeing people beg and squirm. He adored seeing the weak at his feet, screaming and praying to live.
The rules of the game were simple, though Satoru enjoyed killing people just because he could.
The square mask approached the bunk room surrounded by triangles. “The vote will now commence. Press the ‘O’ to stay, and the ‘X’ to leave. If you decide to leave now, the prize money will be equally distributed between the remaining players.” 
Each player went to vote and stand on the corresponding side, Satoru and Suguru stayed way back and awaited their numbers to be called.
Satoru rested his elbow against Suguru’s shoulder, talking in whispers. “Do you think they’ll vote to leave? Hope not.” 
“The scared have a way of jumping ship, but the amount is so low. I doubt it. I don’t think they’ll be a landslide, it’ll be pretty close.” 
“Ugh… this is so boring.” Satoru stretched his arms up and flexed his back, the waiting around made his eyes droop.
Suguru stifled a chuckle and watched the next player vote ‘O’. How can you be yawning already? We only just came in.” 
“Because they take ages decidin’. It’s a yes or no, it doesn’t take long-”
The Square masked man called Suguru’s number. “Player ninety please step forward and cast your vote.” 
“See you on the blue side, Satoru.”
He watched him stroll forward down the middle of the separated groups and pressed ‘O’ immediately. Then, Satoru’s number came up, ‘eighty nine’ , he had to stop himself from making a scene and grinning the entire way down. He watched the bright blue light shine in his face and collected the blue badge for his suit, wandering over to the side to stay.
“There’s more on this side than I thought, maybe this will be a landslide.” Satoru noticed the blue light go off again at the podium.
“Player forty two, please cast your vote.” 
Suguru slyly shook his head to avoid attention, “It’ll slow down now, I think the majority of the rest of the players will vote to leave… Take her for example.” He nodded over in the direction of the next player. A frail minded looking little thing. “I bet she’ll vote to leave.” 
“She’s cute. Want to bet on it?” Satoru watched you stand there, staring up at the giant money pig slowly blocking out more light the fuller it got.
“Easy. A million says she votes to leave.” 
“One mil says she stays.” Satoru kept his eyes on you, silently speaking a mantra to telepathically tell you to press the blue button again.
“Deal.” 
You looked down at the buttons, head flitting between the two in an undecided back and forth. Your hand hovered over the red ‘X’ and hesitated before taking one more look at the money.
“Come one… press the ‘O’.” 
“Please!” A man's voice echoed through the bunk room. “Please consider leaving! Nearly half of us just died, and you want to play again?!”
Everyone’s head moved to face him, number ‘one hundred and sixty four’. “We have to get home and leave this all behind, we’re already going home with money we didn't have in the first place, so let’s just call it a day, yeah?!”
No one seemed to acknowledge his words, you turned back and looked at the money pig one last time, counting on your fingers before pressing the blue button without further hesitation.
“Oof, you owe me one mil, Suguru.” 
After you received the blue badge, you turned and noticed how the man had stepped out of the red side in the aisle to face you. “I-I’m sorry, but this won’t even cover a quarter of my debt. My friend is ill and if she doesn’t get the medicine she needs, she’ll die.”
Suguru shrugged and remained indifferent. “Fair and square, I guess I misjudged her.”  
The man stomped towards you with a scowl across his face. “What happens to your friend if you die here, huh?! Then she’ll die anyway!”
You paid him no mind and kept your head down, making your way from the podium. Satoru watched you with curiosity, a friend was not family and by your words, you meant that you had purposefully put yourself in debt to help them. An odd sentiment, but that might be why he took a sudden interest.
“Hey! I’m talking to you-” A triangle pulled the trigger of the assault rifle and shot three rounds over the crowd, the man along with the majority of the player’s cowered in fear.
 The square mask stepped forward and moved his head to watch the crowd, including Satoru and Suguru who never moved or flinched. “May I remind you, this is a voting system. Any attempts to sway the vote in your favour will not be tolerated and will be met with consequences... Please, continue. Player thirty three, please cast your vote.” 
Satoru watched you study your badge and stand next to him once the other player’s had composed themselves, you included. He decided to break the ice, seeing as you were there all on your own.
So he nudged you with his elbow. “You did great voting how you wanted, don’t let assholes like that try and scare you.” 
You glanced up at him, your fingers still fiddling with the badge. “He’s just worried. I don’t blame him. But I can’t leave without more money, or the loan sharks will take more than just my kidneys.” 
“Player number nineteen, please step forward-” 
Satoru got in closer, interested in how the other half lived. “How much are you in deep for then?” 
You cleared your throat, embarrassingly turning away to avoid eye contact. “Twenty million Yen.” 
Twenty million... Being in the position Satoru was in, yeah it was a lot of money, but it was nothing crippling to him and he could pay it off in a heartbeat. A measly twenty mil wound you up in here with loan sharks after your body and here you were, calm and somewhat collected.
He bet deep down you were terrified.
“What about you?” 
“Hm?” 
“How much are you in debt?” You looked back at him with sad eyes, glassy and innocent.
“Player four, please step forward to cast your vote.” 
How much should he say? He had no idea. The same? No, it could look like he was suspicious, but it had to be something memorable so he didn’t forget. “Er, I’m about-” 
Suguru poked his head out with a warm smile and spoke for him. “He’s in it for thirty, I’m around the same. We like taking bets, so our need for money isn't as honourable as yours. We hope your friend makes a recovery after this.” 
“Yeah, well that’s if I make it out alive.” 
Satoru wanted to play around with you a little bit, really get inside your brain to see that fear complex. He was curious to see how you’d break, how you’d bend to adhere to the rules and cope with the drenched colour red that was already beginning to stain your uniform.
“I think you will, just stick with us and you’ll be fine.” As far as he was concerned, you were safe with him. For now.
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
Suguru’s smile was as sweet as ever. The charming bastard. “I think it’s a good idea to form an alliance for now until we know what the next few games are at least.”  
You nodded and smoothed your badge down, facing front and watching the rest of the players vote. It was a close call just as Suguru predicted. But the blue vote still won. 
The next game was on.
Satoru didn’t find out much about you that night before lights out, only that you were Suguru’s age and lived close by in the city.
He still hadn’t even gotten your name yet, you were elusive about it though he put it down to fear and lack of trust just yet.
But he’d earn that trust in the next game.
Satoru turned in his bed and saw that Suguru was laying awake in his bunk, staring up at the ceiling with his eyes wide open.
“You okay man?”
He huffed and turned too, adjusting his pillow under his head. “How do these people sleep with that light on?” He was referring to the chorus of snores and whistles from the other players, suddenly dead to the world for the night.
“I dunno, blood and guts sorta takes it out of you I guess. Hey, what do you think about her then?” Satoru nodded in your direction just three beds down.
Suguru adjusted himself and leant on his elbow. “She might last, but her will seems strong.”
“Exactly what I thought.” Satoru got that tingle in his stomach. “I can’t wait to break her.”
He heard a soft chuckle from his friend before he turned over for the night, placing the pillow over his face. “Now get some sleep, I know what you’re like without your beauty sleep, Satoru.” 
The next morning, the regular music that Satoru loathed rang through the bunk room. Players climbed out of bed and transfer on towards the square masked man and the triangle shooters.
“The next game will begin shortly. Please line up.” 
Walking towards the game hall was solemn and quiet, though Satoru was ecstatic to finally be playing instead of spectating.
“See you on the flip side, huh man?”
Suguru nodded and shook his hand. “Remember our deal, I'll see you after this.” Then, he disappeared into the crowd as the large doors opened.
You stuck close to Satoru, your eyes darting about the pitch where red light, green light took place.
Ugh… so boring. 
Satoru hoped for a change of pace, something more… interactive.
Well, he did until the game was announced as every player filtered onto the pitch so that the doors could shut behind them.
“Welcome to the second game. The game will be played individually. The game is Bulldog. All players will line up in the marked area on the side of the playing field and you will all run from one side the the other and avoid the five bulldogs, there will be six rounds. Those who are captured or touched by the bulldogs will be eliminated.”
Five circled masks strolled out onto the pitch and stood out across it evenly before the voice over the speaker continued.
The game was on.
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DISCLAIMER - I do not own any of the characters of Jujutsu Kaisen, or anything from Squid game. This is a work of fan fiction and is absolutely not representative of the views or intentions of the original creator(s).
Also please don’t post any of my work without permission thank you!
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cmajalis · 28 days ago
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Heizou in high ponytail and robes??
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feral4daryl · 1 year ago
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masterlist || MDNI
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sweet scent.
perv!daryl x fem!reader
summary: while looking for his crossbow around the house, daryl ends up finding a pile of your dirty clothes and... used panties of yours. and when no one's looking, he decides to have some fun with them.
warnings: EXTREME AGE GAP (daryl is in his late 30s/early 40s and reader is 18), not entirely proofread, smut, mean!daryl sort of, corruption kink, daryl being an absolute pervert, panties sniffing, daddy kink, masturbation, cussing, daryl imagining himself doing the dirtiest things to you (unprotected p-in-v, squirting, face fucking, praising, loss of virginity, cunnilingus and i think that's pretty much it)
word count: 2.8k
a/n: please proceed with caution, this piece of work portrays a few extreme or unusual fetishes, so if you're not comfortable with any of those i've listed above please do not ready this. the idea that inspired this work originally belongs to @dilfsandmartinis.
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if there was something daryl absolutely hated, it was the feeling of uselessness.
since andrea had mistaken him for a walker and shot him from afar, grazing his head, useless was exactly how he felt, having to lay down on a bed the whole day and night, doing absolutely nothing but be left alone with his own thoughts. and oh, what a disgraceful fate.
everytime he wasn't focused on hunting, fighting or surviving in general, the farmer's sweet younger daughter flooded his mind. your hair, your face, your stupidly adorable sundresses, everything about you was so... distracting.
daryl wasn't ever the kind of guy to simp for a woman, but that one specific girl made him feel emotions and sensations that were hidden deep within his being for years, maybe even decades. feelings he thought had vanished from his heart a long time ago were now blooming all over again, like he was some stupid teenager looking at a playboy magazine for the first time.
there was something about your innocence, your adorable mannerisms, your sweet voice and your kindness that had awakened something in him, something he wasn't quite sure what it was.
no, he wasn't exactly a young man. and while being aware that you were very young, he couldn't help but feel so guilty for having those feelings. whenever you bended over to pick something up, he had to fight demons not to have a glimpse of your panties. he often wondered how could you be so careless by exposing yourself like that, even if you didn't do it on purpose.
and there was him again, thinking about you. it's like no matter how hard he tried to push those thoughts away, they were like water, always finding a way in.
he huffed, feeling defeated. he knew he was still recovering from the incident, and that he should rest, but why was he following orders around anyways? he wasn't a damn puppy. plus, everybody else had left him there to go looking for sophia. he wanted to be able to help too. he was alive after all, and if he was alive, he believed he should be on his feet.
so that's what he did. he slowly lifted his right foot, resting it on the floor, then he did the same with his left one. his body reluctantly lifted itself up, and he immediately could feel the consequences for laying down for so long, his back killing him and his vision a bit foggy. anyways, he ignored any discomfort and started walking slowly, his head still a little dizzy.
then, he remembered he needed his trustworthy crossbow, he couldn't just leave unprotected like that. he looked around the room he was settled in but it was nowhere to be seen. he knew it was still in the house, so he left the room. he started walking down the corridor, his eyes attentively looking for any signs of his crossbow. he was even starting to think that his mates might've hidden it to force him to stay in the house when he spotted a halfway open door.
his calloused hands pulled it open, revealing a small bedroom, all pink themed and stupidly decorated. no, his crossbow wasn't likely to be there, it just looked like it belonged to one of hershel's daughters, but it was like something was calling him in.
he stepped in the room and it almost looked messy. the dressing table on the corner had lipsticks, combs, all sorts of make-up and girly stuff all piled up and... a perfume.
it was happening again, images of you flooded his mind and it was like he could almost smell you. oh, your sweet scent had the power to make him hard like nothing else. just by looking at that small bottle, just by imagining your scent, he could feel little shock waves travelling all the way down to his cock, threatening to awaken it.
he knew it was wrong, so fucking wrong thinking about a much younger girl like that. and it was even worse considering that you were the daughter of the man that provided him shelter in such difficult times. it felt ungrateful.
when he saw you for the first time, he didn't think much of you. he was actually careful, treating you like the stranger you were. and even when time passed, he never really got close to you. now and then you tried to share a word, even if just a little bit, but it seemed useless since he would reject all your attempted approaches. he didn't hate you like he tried to after acknowledging his disgusting desires for you, but he just couldn't allow himself to interact with a girl that made him sick to his stomach for all the wrong reasons.
your sweetness was almost annoying. the entire world had gone to shit, for goodness sake! dead bodies walking around and eating all the people they could find. how could you act so clueless all the time? daryl even wondered if you had ever seen a walker before, if you knew what was really happening out there. after all, it was very obvious that you were a daddy's girl, always protected under your father's wing.
but strangely enough, acknowledging that only made him protective towards you. he was always somewhat watching, always around you making sure you were safe and he barely knew why, he just felt like he should.
so he didn't stop himself from reaching over to your small perfume bottle. the design was very simple, no labels to be seen, time had probably faded it away. the cap was baby pink and heart shaped, and when he removed it, he immediately brought the bottle to his nose, giving it a gentle sniff.
fuck.
now, he was 100% sure that was your room. the fragrance was the same one that filled his nose and made him drunk in you everytime you walked by. he wondered if that was the scent he would feel if he ever hugged you, burying his face into your chest.
in that moment, he couldn't think about anything else, not rick, not carol, not his chores, not surviving, not even sophia. you were everything that he had in his fucked up mind.
he wouldn't feel so fucking guilty if his thoughts were only about your innocence and sweetness, but they were also dirty as fuck. countless were the times when daryl imagined groping you, running his hands all over your delicate body, feeling every texture, squeezing every junk and listening close to your every little whimper. he would pull your hair, gently at first, just to get it off your face and neck so he could pamper them with little wet kisses, gently scratching his teeth along them. he imagined he'd have to keep you on your feet himself, since you'd struggle to because of how weak your knees would get at all the sensations he would provide you and...
wait, no.
what was he thinking? was he out his fucking mind? he needed to stop those absolutely disgusting thoughts right away. he couldn't keep having those thoughts about you, not when you're out taking care of such important business with the others. he put the perfume bottle back on the dressing table, determined to let all that go. he knew he couldn't just let himself get so distracted like that over something so mundane and unimportant as his own sexual desires but then...
...he spotted a basket filled with clothes when he turned around to leave. his mind immediately started to rush all over again, and for the 100th time that day, he turned careless. he slowly approached it. shorts, tops, pants and so on could be seen at the top of the pile.
in that moment, he had totally forgot why he had entered that bedroom or even left his bed in the first place. he couldn't even remember the existence of his crossbow or his duties.
and then... he gets an idea. he starts going through the pile of dirty clothes and in no time, he finds your panties. they were white with a pink ribbon on the front, a clear reminder of your innocence. for a moment, he just looks at it, contemplating the possibilities. then, he remembers seeing you in it when you bended over to pick some off the floor the day before. he remembers catching a glimpse of it under your yellow sundress when you went to change his bandage.
that meant that those panties had been freshly worn.
if just your perfume ignited such vile desires in him, he couldn't even imagine what your natural scent could do to him. and he was oh so curious to find out. he still felt guilty, but that man had been sex deprived for so fucking long, he didn't even masturbate very often. he knew damn well he was about to commit a big mistake, maybe even starting something he was sure he couldn't finish, but he finally made up his mind.
he flips the small piece of cloth over, eyeing the soft-looking lining of the panties. he gulps, feeling his mouth water right away. god, what was he doing? what was right, what was wrong wasn't even important to him anymore. he just wanted to embrace his sickness.
there was a small stain on the lining, probably from you wearing it. just that sight alone was enough to get him off, and once again, he found himself having to face that tingling sensation inside his pants. he knew damn well what that meant and what was about to happen. but honestly, he couldn't give a single fuck anymore.
in one quick motion, he brought the fabric to his face, giving a long sniff while he rolled his eyes to the back of his head. that fucking scent of yours got him drunk the moment it filled his nostrils. so intense, so feminine and raw, daryl couldn't remember the last time he felt that type of pleasure, or if he had even felt anything like it before.
it made him needy like a horny teenager. he felt himself going back to puberty when all he could think about was jacking off day and night. and it was all your fucking fault.
daryl palmed himself through his denim pants, never taking your panties off his face not even for one second. the natural scent of your cunt was more than successful to make him hard as a rock, the sensation of being in his pants started to get uncomfortable as his dick grew bigger and bigger.
just palming himself wasn't enough.
he slowly unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them, inserting one of his hand in his briefs to catch his hard cock in it, freeing it for the first time in a while. his angry-red tip was literally pulsating while a clear and sticky liquid dropped down his length.
he wasn't able to hold a small grunt as he wrapped his calloused hand around his cock, the rough sensation of his fingers causing him to feel a jolt of pleasure so fucking delicious and guilty at the same time. the archer brought his hand to his mouth, catching some of his saliva to use as lube.
oh, how he wished you were there. he'd make sure you'd get his cock nice and wet with your spit so you could rub it up and down. and then, without warnings, he'd just shove it down your throat, forcing you to prove how much of a good girl you could be just for him.
and just for him. he wanted you all for his own. daryl never really liked to share, specially when it came to a girl like you, so princess like, so adorable looking. your plump lips looked so fucking perfect, and they would look even more wrapped around his big cock.
knowing how fragile you were, he knew you would definitely choke and gag on him, struggling to fit all of him in your mouth. he would whisper sweet encouragement words to you like “tha's it, tha's ma good girl”. he imagined how he would hold your head in place and keep a hand on your throat so he could feel his cock while he aggressively pumped it in and out, making you drool all over him. “just like tha', yeah, show daddy how fuckin' good ya are fer him”.
in his imagination, you would look up at him with those big doe eyes of yours, with a mix of uncertainty and desire to make him proud. “am i doing this right, daddy?” he could almost hear your voice saying it whenever you would take him off his mouth to catch your breath for a moment, never disconnecting your small hand from his thick length.
he started pumping faster, squelching sounds were all that could be heard in that silent room, a proof of his degeneracy. the grunts and stifled moans were only getting harder and harder to hold back. he was sticking those panties to his face and sniffing on them like his life depended on it, like he was a desperate virgin.
a virgin. he wondered if you were one. you sure looked like it, your dad never let you out of sight for long enough for you to try something like that, he supposed from what he knew about your relationship. he imagined how would it feel like to be the one to pop your cherry for the first time.
oh, he would teach you so many things, everything he knows. he would guide you through it all along, teaching you where to touch, where to kiss, where to lick. he would make your virgin little cunny cum so many times it would get all puffy and red. he even wondered if he could make you squirt, stuffing you with his fingers, brushing against your sweet spot over and over again until you were a quivering mess, squirting all over his skull tattoo. and yes, he would make you lick his fingers clean, your sweet little tongue dragging across them, and then, he would kneel down in front of you, not wanting to waste a single drop of your sweet release, attacking your sensitive clit and slit with his lips and tongue.
fuck, fuck, fuck.
he was so fucking eager to taste your slick, to revel in your salty taste. he imagined how fucking good the smell he was getting from your panties was from the actual source. he would lick it all, your lips, your slit, even your ass, but he would give special attention to your little clit, flicking his tongue on it, making it cum again just for him. he would never grow tired of it.
and when he felt you were finally ready for him, he would bend you over just like you used to do so absentmindedly. he would be gentle at first, but knowing himself, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself back for too long before absolutely railing the shit out of you, making you cry out and scream his name in pleasure and pain.
and when he flipped you over on your back, he would be able to see the bulge on your lower belly caused by his big cock inside you. just by imagining that he felt himself getting close to the edge. he would press his hand on it, making the little room inside your pussy even tighter. fuck, he imagined the sweet sounds you would make just for him.
all those dirty thoughts and your sweet scent from your panties were more than enough to make shivers run down his spine and his whole body tremble. he kept his eyes shut tight as he licked a stripe on the lining of your panties, trying to get some of your delicious taste. meanwhile, he hadn't stopped his hands not even for a second, harshly rubbing his cock up and down until it was too much.
in a strangled moan, his cock started shooting spurt after spurt of thick cum onto the floor, the dressing table and pretty much anything that was around. he couldn't remember the last time he had such an intense orgasm, the sensation making his mind completely empty except for your image.
his movements got slower until they stopped and he let go of his now sensitive cock. he sighed after catching his breath. he was left with that afterglow and the feeling that he made a huge mistake. suddenly, he felt dirty like before. he opened his eyes slowly, removing your panties from his face and putting them in his pockets. yeah, he knew it was wrong, but he was still planning to keep them for later.
then, when he averted his gaze to the mirror on his side, he saw...
you. standing on the doorframe with a shocked look on your face.
“u-uncle daryl?”
[PART TWO]
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a/n: i know, i'm disgusting. i'm sorry. (just a quick reminder, english isn't my first language, so please excuse any grammar mistakes or awkward phrasing lmao, and tysm if you read it this far)
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temis-de-leon · 1 year ago
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Pick me girls and OM! Brothers - Part 2
Characters: Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)
Part 1 - Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)
Part 3 - Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)
Masterlist
CW: pick me girl behavior, one of these girls is actually really stupid, suggestive, mentions of sex between the brothers and mc, mentions of violence, a bit of magic, mentions of cheating (not actual cheating), nightmares, implied death, jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, still ooc but i had even more fun
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Satan
Your boyfriend looked more offended than you ever had the chance to feel.
The cashier at the bookstore barely had the time to say anything about her supposed romance with the demon before he appeared in his signature pose: a hand in his hip and the other one over his chest.
He had been a regular for years and you didn't know if the girl had been delusional enough to believe she had something with him or if she was just jealous and wanted to make you feel bad.
You weren't sure which one was sadder.
"Am I hearing this correctly?" he said with spite, distracting you from your own thoughts "Are you so daft you were considering me reciprocating your feelings?"
The girl lowered her gaze, clearly embarrassed, and for a moment you felt guilty. Maybe she really thought she had something mutual going on with Satan; a crush that went too far in her own imagination.
She proved you wrong, however, when not only did she give you a side eye, but also said the most stupidest thing one could ever muster.
"Well, obviously you are so daft you chose them over me"
You couldn't waste time on feeling hurt; not when Satan was showing his fangs, letting his tail scratch the floor as it lashed behind him. As hot as he looked like this, it was not the moment nor the place to show his demon form in a fit of rage.
The stupid cashier seemed proud of getting a reaction out of him, finally catching his attention. Maybe she was a demon of wrath too? Maybe that's how she flirted with other demons?
The poor thing would be lucky if she ever lived to see another day.
Let her discover that fact on her own.
"She's not worth it, Satan" you urged, pushing him to the door "Let's go to that cat cafe you mentioned earlier. You said they had new kittens, right?"
That seemed to do the trick.
He looked at you with love, still mixed with anger and bewilderment, but not enough for you not to hold his hand and lean against him.
"I'm sorry, my dear" he murmured, then he spoke louder "Do not believe a word she said"
"I would never"
"Good"
He nodded to himself, like the idea of you believing the cashier was too stupid to even consider it, but neither of you could ignore how his hand stiffened in yours for a second.
"Let's go see some kittens" you said in a singing voice, leading him in the street towards your destination.
You failed to see the adoration in his eyes.
Asmo
This succubus dated Asmo long before you were even an idea in your parents' minds and she wanted you to keep that in mind.
She wanted you to know that everything you knew, she knew better (a blatant lie) and that Asmo preferred experience over novelty (ew).
"I remember the times we went to the sauna and... Oh, sorry, does he take you to the sauna?"
"He invited me a couple of times, yes" but I had to say no or else I would've boiled alive.
"And does he...?"
Does he. Does he. Does he.
He does. HE DOES. HE DEFINITELY DOES.
In which moment did you think going to The Fall was a better plan than doing each other's skincare routine while making fun of 50 shades of Grey?
The both of you could be criticizing that poor excuse of BDSM right now (before recreating the correct version), but, instead, Asmo was ordering the girliest cocktail ever made while this Camila Cabello wannabe harassed you.
"...that was a little joke between us"
Lord Diavolo she just kept going.
"I'm so happy you remember so well your past relationship with him" you intervened with a strain in your voice, "but maybe it's time for you to stop and leave"
The succubus smirked with a smugness that made your innards burn from the inside out.
"Don't get jealous! I'm sure he loves you too"
Oh my Lord.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.
"Hon', look at this!"
There he came, your savior, dressed in a skimpy dress with hands full of shimmery drinks and a glint in his very beautiful loving eyes.
"They didn't have human beverages, but I swear the taste is impeccable, you'll love it! Just let me take a picture for Devilgram first"
Camila Cabello, as you had finally decided to call her, cleared her throat in search of the demon's attention. Asmodeus looked in her direction, obviously trying to remember who she was.
"Asmo, baby!" she was nothing but a smile full teeth and a mission. Her gaze a little desperate "Remember me?"
Her determination died, however, when Asmo's expression turned shocked after studying her. He grasped his chest in sorrow as he asked the funniest question you could hear at the moment.
"What are you wearing?"
Camila Cabello was finally at a loss of words and you briefly wondered if this had ever happened to her.
"If you're gonna meddle in my relationship with MC at least take effort in looking decent"
His expression was sweet, saccharine, but there was an underlying seriousness in his voice.
He was so beautiful. And he was all yours.
Beel
She was one of the boys, apparently. Beel had definitely never mentioned her, but the girl only laughed when you told her that.
"Wow, controlling much? Does he have to tell you about every friend?"
Well, no, Beel didn't have to inform you about everyone he's ever met, but your boyfriend was sweet enough to want you in every aspect of his life, thus introducing you to his friends, his teammates and even his gym bros.
Definitely not to this girl.
You looked at her in disbelief, licking your teeth with a calculating glance. How much would Beel care if you hit this airhead with a dumbbell?
"We hang out together almost every day" she boasted, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger "It's not even weird for me to be in the boys locker room"
Were you strong enough to throw a dumbbell?
Surely she'd rather be with them instead of you if she was 'one of the boys', no? Why would she be in the bleachers with you, waiting for the team to finish their training, when she could be in any other part of the field doing exercise or playing for another sport?
"I'm not making you insecure, am I?" asked the girl in poorly faked innocence "If he loves you so much you should have nothing to worry about"
"Oh, I trust him" you assured her, but you didn't sound as confident as you wanted to. Although Beel never gave you any reasons to doubt him, it was difficult to defend your relationship when this girl was so convinced everyone was in love with her.
"That's so cool"
You decided to ignore her and her mocking tone, hoping to end the conversation right there, but she just kept talking. It was obvious she wanted to get under your skin.
For what? you wondered. Did she expect Beel to leave you if she batted her lashes fast enough? Did she know Beel at all??
"Oh, Beely!"
You cringed with a scowl visible to everyone around you. Some of Beel's teammates laughed at your missfortune, while the others, the ones you liked best, turned around in horror and left without a second glance.
Wether he was oblivious or just didn't care, Beel wasted no time in running towards you with a smile on his face.
"Did you see me?" he asked, looking up to you with a boyish grin and brightened eyes.
"I'm always looking at you"
Beel blushed, his smile still obvious in his face, but he couldn't get another word in before the girl talked again.
"I was looking at you too"
You rolled your eyes and Beel immediately stared at you with a curious glance. He hummed in response, ignoring her once again as he reached out for your hand to caress your knuckles.
"There's a new limited edition menu in a restaurant near RAD"
No questions added nor needed. You smiled at him and nodded, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss it. A promise for later.
"Noo, we used to go there so much..."
"Can you stop?" Beel interrupted her with a deadpan expression "You're making MC uncomfortable"
The girl looked at him in surprise, mouth wide open, clearly not expecting to be snapped at.
She didn't dare to look at you after that.
Belphie
It wasn't the first time you dreamt about this girl and it wasn't the first time you dreamt about her stealing your sloth of a boyfriend.
She wasn't some mystery girl, but rather Belphie's old seatmate, the one he had before you were kidnapped admitted in RAD. A quiet doe-eyed succubus that looked at him like he was the best thing that ever happened to both human and demon mankind.
She'd tried to sit next to him a couple of times with no avail, always getting rejected in your favor. Then, Belphie and you started dating and she stopped trying. You'd innocently thought she'd surrendered.
But not only did she search for him the very few times you guys weren't next to each other, she also ignored you completely when you were there.
Ignoring her back was easier said than done.
And this time, the oniric version of her wasn't just stealing your boyfriend. This time, he was willingly going to her, making your heart hurt so much it made you wake up with what felt like broken ribs.
It took you a couple of minutes to pull yourself together and not push Belphie away when he brought you back to his chest. The image of him kissing her while looking at you was engraved in your mind.
So, although sweating and hurting both from your heart and your confidence, you forced yourself to sleep.
You didn't notice just how awake Belphie was.
Back when you were still friends, you had allowed him to introduce himself into your slumber each time you had a nightmare. Images of you dying under the jaws and claws of faceless demons disappeared faster when the real Belphie was there. Ironic, isn't it?
He tried to stop every single one of them, but sometimes he was so deep in his own dreams it was proved to be impossible.
You thought this was one of those occasions, but, alas, you were wrong.
Days passed without any new event and Belphie mentioned nothing about your initial irrational coldness towards him, which made you feel a tiny bit better. Eventually you'd get so embarrassed about the situation that you had no other option but to dote on him like the brat he was, leading to a whole weekend sprawled over his bed in the attic.
The girl was still there, although not as persistent with Belphie, and she avoided you like the plague, with fright in her eyes.
So he did something about her, didn't he? But how did he know? And what did he do? You wanted to ask, curious as ever, but as time went by and the eyebags under her eyes started to occupy her entire face, you decided against it.
Barely a month later she disappeared without leaving trace. And since Belphie didn't even acknowledge her at all, why would you?
Tagging a little more: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin @elaemae
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velvetcrimsonkisses · 8 months ago
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Nanami had always wanted to go to Malaysia.
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“What’s this?” Nanami's fingers invade the envelope, pulling out two plane tickets. “Plane tickets… to Malaysia,” You cheerfully respond to the man. Malaysia. Nanami’s dream destination. Nanami’s eyes fill with happiness at the sight of tickets. He had hoped that one day he would go and it was finally going to become reality. Thanks to you.
He could only imagine walking down the beach with you. Sand under his feet, the wind blowing through his hair, the warm sun touching his skin. Relaxation finally. His enthusiasm was contagious, child-like wonder in his eyes as he explained to you everything he wished to do which made you equally excited for this trip.
“You take care of everyone else besides yourself, so let me take care of you for once,” you explain as Nanami wraps his arms around you. Big strong arms that were the embodiment of protection, gentleness, and adoration. Not just for you but for everyone around him. Always putting everyone before him. The most selfless man you would ever meet. “Thank you,” a soft whisper from his lips flows into your ear.
You stand in the dark bedroom as your memory comes to an end. Your fingers tremble as you hold the tickets. Your eyes burning as warm tears stain your cheeks. These tickets were supposed to be an escape. An escape from everything around you. Just you and him. But he escaped first.
You feel your heart drop, as you realize the other things escaping you. His scent no longer filled the room, you could barely remember the sound of his voice, you couldn’t remember his soft touch anymore. And all you could was cry and cry till you couldn’t anymore. In his presence, the world took everything from him but his departure took everything from you. And in that one moment you can sympathize with him and you could only think about the comfort you brought him when he had nobody. The joy you brought him when he forgot how to be happy.
But you finally understood why he wouldn’t marry you, why he never wanted children even though he loved them, why he avoided any talk about the future. As much as you tried to understand him while he was alive, you understood too late. Nanami had come to terms with his mortality. It's the type of man he was. He would give his life in an instant. And he did. And you could only be thankful that you were loved by a man like that. Truly the perfect man.
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lustlovehart · 26 days ago
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Might've sent this already but I saw it in my notes while looking for something, so just ignore if you've already seen it.
Can you imagine the reader getting sick while they're with the monsters? I can imagine Riddle and Cater being utterly helpless trying to get to Trey, Ace or Deuce as soon as they realize it. Oh after getting us the proper care I can imagine Riddle inch his spectral hand close to our forehead to cool even a bit of our fever. I don't know how zombies work that much but I'm all for pathetic boys so I can imagine their limbs coming off while trying to carry us inside if they couldn't find Trey immediately.
Out of Octavinelle boys the only one who'd have much knowledge about humans would be Azul and if he is out to get whatever plants/medicine necessary in his limited human form, tweels would be a disaster let's be honest they don't see sick things in the sea cuz those creatures usually die so quickly from the harsh environment so they are out of their element, their cold skin might help with fever but too much would make it even worse. I can see Floyd trying to squeeze us to make it better but after seeing it made us nauseous he just stops. Jade is trying to remember his land facts with a serious face all the while.
Sickness Kills, Sickness no more
Another adorable idea!! I really don’t know what else to add on it as I could really see what you said about how they react!!! (≧◡≦) ♡. If it’s a simple cold, i’m sure you could just tough it out and they would never notice. Buut, if it’s genuinely something detrimental to your health, they begin to notice and panic. I thought this was cute and wrote something up! I really wanted to write Chenya in this post, but after those few Chenya asks in the past, current;t struggling on what to make him😭 Will it be kitsune or nekomata, a struggle indeed 😞
CW: (Heavy) Obsession, Jealousy, Rook is being a weirdo, Reader Has a high fever, They want to turn you into a monster too, They change your clothes for you, Implied/Wanting Murder and Actual murder (Fellow, Neige and Skully)
Featuring: Heartslaybul, Savanaclaw (Jack mentioned), Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Idia, Diasmonia, Rollo, Fellow, Skully, Neige
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Heartslaybul might be the best location to fall ill actually! As all of them are formerly human, unlike the others. But… that just aids them in their guilt so it might have backfired for them. Riddles' experience as a Doctor has him feeling the most responsible for your well-being. How utterly careless… he let you get sick. What would his mother think of him? What will you think of him?
Ace and Deuce are practically rushing around to grab whatever Riddle orders for your health. When they find themself not fetching stuff and standing by your side, Ace is cursing you to stay alive, even without magic, he’ll find a way. Deuce is placing his forehead on yours, hoping his cool (dead) skin will calm down that fever. When your warmth reminds him of his failures, all he can do is sit by your side and hope you’ll say anything to him.
Trey stands next to you, being the one who moniters your body temperature when Riddle is incapable of taking human form. He’ll be silent attempting to calm everyone down, but he can’t be very useful in that regard when the bolts in his neck trickle electricity every now and then (he has shocked everyone else from stress) or even when his limbs fall out of place fromte pressure, though not nearly enough as Deuce’s; they continue to detach and crawl over to you, their own mind having them pat your head or hold your hand.
Cater… Is very scarce in this case. As you heave in your hot and cold body, you think he doesn’t care very much, which you don’t mind, everyone else is much too worried. Little do you know Cater was given the special mission of collecting life force if you end up falling to this disease. He’s determined to do just that. They’ll have everything prepared for your new afterlife. When he comes back, you can only quirk a brow at the smile he has on his false face.
It was only a backup plan… But your laugh, the way the sun hits you reminds them you’re just a frail human. Perhaps… It’d be better if you’d never have to suffer in that mortal body. Stay forever in the shadows of this hospital.
Savanaclaw is only a third qualified, as Ruggie has never been human, and Leona was cared for by other people whenever he was ill. Their biggest problem when you fall sick is they don’t really have the proper knowledge nor materials to deal with it, unlike Heartslaybul who consists of all humans, and quite literally reside in a hospital.
When your heaves grow heavier and heavier with each passing moment, Leona rests you on his tomb (if you were conscious you would’ve freaked out at him, but luckily, you’re not), taking whatever water they can salvage from Savanaclaw, they try their best to cool your fever down. The pale wraps Leona already has on your body increase in quantity, acting as makeshift blankets while he brushes your fevered face.
Meanwhile Ruggie is the one who makes mad dashes around people houses, stealing whatever possible fix there is for illnesses. When Leona is busy cooling you down within whatever his power gives, Ruggie takes his place by your side tending to your every need, albeit with confusion.
If even for a moment you cough a little too hard, or even breath too rough, their backup plan in case all fails comes closer. Though, this backup plan would be their first, if it wasn’t for a certain—hunter… Telling them you’d hate them for all time. But even then, what’s affection if a little hate isn’t there? In truth, they wouldn't mind if you despised them, as long as you’re safe.
Then again, the act of them taking the vitality of innocents for your survival, would no doubt put guilt in your heart.
When you get better, all they can think about when they look at you is how they won’t be there when you really need assistance… What better way than to leave you in this tomb with a mummy?? After all, those bandages are the only sliver of protection you have from being killed so easily… Perhaps they should ask him, how to make you stay for eternity.
Octavinelle is the exact opposite of Heartslaybul it’s actually kinda funny. (Not to them, oh goodness how do they help fevers?!?). You being sick is one of the few times Jade’s so serious, the lack of double-sided compliments scaring you more than your fever. While Floyd is desperately squeezing the cold from his body into your skin, Jade comes from behind and holds your face in his hands, cooling it down from the oceans temperature. Neither attempt works, but they don’t stop.
Azul is urgently collecting every form of marine medicinal herb there is in the sea, even going true form and grabbing ingredients the size of ships. He’ll even do the wretched ‘running’ on land if it means getting you what you need. Magic can only take him so far, those human books he read didn’t need to tell him, he already knows as much.
When Azul comes back he hurriedly tells them to lay you down for treatment, having the two diligently perform every task he asks them. Jade isn’t cracking back-handed jokes and Floyd is entirely focused and still, only time to time fidgeting as he waits. If you weren’t so dazed you’d question if they were really the sea monsters you know.
The sounds of splashing water, the feeling of hands, tentacles, and tails all simultaneously work on ridding that fever. Somehow, it lulls you to sleep.
Your body remains floating in the water as all of them have you wrapped up in their limbs. When you come to, you realize they must’ve stolen someone’s clothes as a new pair are on you, as your new wardrobe is no longer soaked in sea water. You didn’t notice at first, but as soon as you woke up, their eyes were staring deep into your skin, almost like they’re searing the memory of you well and breathing into their memory.
The longer they look at you, the more they think about you. The dangers on land are so horrible… They never get such scenarios like that in sea… that means you must stay where such illnesses can’t reach you.
When you get sick in Scarabia, Kalim will beg you to make a wish, telling you he can make you better if you just ask. It’s one of the few times you genuinely want to make one, but your voice is much too hoarse for it to come through. You open your mouth and any words are too quiet to be commanded, with each syllable replaced with a cough. While Kalim is fretting over your well-being, Jamil is staring from the side, forked tongue hissing everyone once in a while.
This Jamil is capable of being a proper servant towards other monsters, as he knows their makeup… but with you, it’s a bit of a harder case. You don’t eat humans (he thinks), neither do you have tough skin, or enhanced ability, you are a mortal through and through.
Surprisingly, it’s Kalim who pushes through and knows what to do, albeit only slightly. He’ll tell Jamil you need water, and… and…! He can name some of the materials, but sometimes he trails off. It’s been so long since…
Jamil pinches Kalims ear to recenter his attention before slithering over with the needed supplies. He’s dabbing your face with water, taking a cloth and repeatedly dunking it into the liquid. When he takes the rag to dip back into the pitcher, he halts when you weakly grab at his wrist. It’s a weak sight, a vulnerable one, yet it makes his heart race because of how… weak you look. He watches you take his hand and place it on your forehead, eyes fluttering shut as soon as that cold touch hits you.
Right… Cold blooded…
Kalim wraps you in a makeshift blanket to keep your body warm, yet not too warm, while Jamil continues to switch between both hands to keep you cool, his tail wrapped around you. The touch of your skin on his reminds him just how warm you are.
When you finally get over your ailment, Kalim has you wrapped around himself, hugging you tightly as if you’d disappear. While Jamil isn’t nearly as affectionate, every time you walk around the desert the underlying feeling of eyes following you, persists every second… A silent statement of the danger you face all alone, telling you to stay and never harm yourself again.
Pomefiore with another human, except while not as medically skilled as Riddle, much better than everyone else due to his upbringing. Though, this knowledge gets outshone by Vil and Rook, who somehow, do know how illnesses work.
“Rook, do not caress them so… Just feed them the necessary remedies.” Vil sits by your side, ridding your body of the heavy clothes you adorn, until you’re left in much thinner cloth. All while he glares at the way Rook serandes your sweating face. Even in your current state, you can’t help but judge Rooks poor timing of poetry.
“Ah, amour… Even in such a vulnerable condition... I can’t help but believe your glisten is just as beautiful as yesterdays...” you feel his wispy hand stroke your cheek, wiping away your sweat, whispering something under his breath. If you had the energy, your would’ve walked away, but alas, you don’t. You look back at the ceiling, focusing on a single crack in the flawless interior, hoping the beating in your head would leave.
A particularly hard ache in your head as you lift your hands to hit the pain out, but you’re hands are stopped by Vil and Rook taking hold of each of your limbs. Rook whispers a ‘non non’ while Vil continues dabbing cool water on your skin, reprimanding you for such a harmful action.
All this action has you wondering where Epel could be… Come to daytime, the only interval where all of them are essentially harmless unless in the shadows, Epel finally shows himself when they’re both gone. His face isn’t too visible, as the shadows inside the mansion block out all light. You open your mouth to say something, but it’s quickly covered by an apple, teeth grazing the skin. For a moment you hesitate, but your hunters has you crunch into the fruit. You watch him bring the apple to his eyes, examining the marks before smiling.
“They were so worried about the fever, they forgot about food.” he brings the apple to his own lips, fangs piercing the same place you bit, your bites unionized. You’re none the wiser to Vil and Rook in the shadows, realizing, you don’t deserve an illness like this… It’s simple, just like Epel realized, the fragility of human and deciding to rid himself of that… they shall show you the same ephiany.
Ignihydes Underworld isn’t exactly the type you can wander around in… Which is why when Idia sees you resting your fevered head on his shoulder, he panics at the sight flickering in and out of your body. No… You shouldn’t be dying yet—!
And then he comes to the realization, if you died, without any ties to reality, you and him… Would never be alone again. He’s eerily silent as you cough, eyes darting back and forth at the suggestions in his mind. When you lean into him, he stays quiet, draping part of his cloak around your body, both of you trapped in the warmth of the fabric. If you died peacefully, you wouldn't become a ghost and join Heartslaybul… You wouldn't have to worry about the fear of a brutal death and suffering through life, is this not a mercy for you?
He hugs you tighter the more you cough, an ongoing war in his mind. You would never see those guys again… He wouldn’t have to worry about them, or you preferring their company over his—
“Idia…” your voice is horarse as shivers peak through your speech, “Please…”
Are you asking to die? Are you asking for him to be the one who guides your soul? Are you… wanting to be with him? He’s already preparing a scythe in hand, but when you flip your head up to look him in the eyes, he stops all motion.
“I don’t want to…” … You don’t have to finish for him to know. He knows when a person is desperate to live, and you’re one of them. No matter how much envy consumes him when you’re with those fiends, he won’t take your life, not until you truly wish to pass on.
But, that doesn’t mean the vermin around you are spared from his dark occupation. If anything, Idia will see to it they’re sent to the next life sooner than intended.
Diasmonia is an interesting case… They all do care for your current state, and your health of course, yet there’s a lack of urgency somehow… They cater to your sickness yet do it as if they’re only fawning over you rather than saving your life.
Malleus will take a humanoid form, holding your hands as he hums a tune, retelling tales you’ve told him. Occasionally, he will place his palm on your forehead, humming when he sees it’s just as it was when he last checked. There’s no point in asking what he’s doing, he’ll only smile with a tilt of his head before returning to stone, an ominous ‘Don’t fear, you’ll feel better soon enough.’ If you let him walk out, the cycle will repeat a few hours later, furthering your worries. If you grab onto eroding stone, though, he’ll turn back and hear your whispers, not real words but vespers of some. He’ll take his other rough-edged palm, pulling your hands to his lips. For a moment, you see regret in his eyes, but it doesn’t seem to last long when he says ‘it’ll be over soon.’
Lilia feeds you his food, one that’s… particularly not consumable for humans or monsters, yet he beams as if you’ll accept it. You somehow escape from the quick end you would’ve met had you eaten it, Lilia telling you it’s better to get accustomed to their food if you’re going to stay with them… You remind him you’ll be leaving soon enough, and he laughs… you don’t know why.
Sebek… Is very confusing in his behaviors. One moment he’s asking you ways to slightly ease the pain if he spots you wincing, next he’s flinching like he suddenly remembered something and telling you to stay sick for the monster's well-being. It’s conflicting, especially in your current state, everything only seems dizzying. When you wake up from your rest, you don’t feel any better, but there’s a single flower laid on your chest. It’s not much, but the sweet scent helps you forget your headache for a little.
Silver is the only one who remotely seems worried about your human form withering away. When the others are gone he’s next to you actually performing duties to rid your fever, quickly hiding the materials whenever he senses their arrival. He’ll shush you when everything becomes too much, whispering for you to sleep; he’ll rid you of any bad dreams you could encounter, you’ll only dream of your desires. So please, sleep. You never expected such behavior from the other three at all… Until it dawns on you when they overhear their words.
“Yes, the others only seem to ponder the idea, never act on it.” You hold back a cough while you lean against the wall, listening intently to whatever Malleus tells the other. “I wish to care for them until they’re much too weak to walk anymore.” He doesn’t mean… “And then we’ll do what all of them are much to meek to do.” You feel your body crumple under your weight, built arms scooping you up.
Silver… There’s a sorrowed look in his eyes as he looks at you, mouthing a quiet ‘sorry’ under his breath.
“… When they’re not human, they’ll never wish to leave this castle again.”
In the following days they continue to act like it’s your last day in the living, like your fate is predetermined. Malleus and Lilia lavish you in affection, while Sebek instructs you on ways of the dark as if you’re marrying to his family, albeit with a very distancing tone.
Every time they appear and go, you cling to Silver like your last life line, your grip is weak yet the look in your eyes acts like a command to him, insisting he better you.
And fortunately for you, you’re cured. Unfortunately for them, you’re cured.
Sages Quarter
- Rollo goes about the fever like any other one you’ve had, simply because everytime you have had one, it’s him who diligently sits by your side and aids you. (nevermind Jack… And Neige… He’s your main, he thinks, he hopes.) He’ll calmly talk you through the fever as he dabs your forehead, changes your wear, and feeds you in bed. It’s nothing he's never done before. But that’s only if the fever is normal; if it’s the high type, his demeanor take a shift and he looks much deadlier than he did before, his eye bags only increasing in depth.
“Do not move, you will strain yourself.” He watches you open your mouth, the glint in your eyes the kind you make when you’re about to throw a joke at him. Your pretty voice doesn't come out to his disappointment, only a whisper. The occurrence has him panicking, chastising you for silently laughing at your failed retort. “Is it really that funny that you can’t even talk?” he watches you mouth words, placing his hand on your lips, halting anymore movement.
You must be delirious from the fever, as you don’t protest but rather, smile at him. His chest tightens but he’s not sure from what emotion.
For a moment, your eyes go blank, and he’s swift to remove his palm, leaning into you with urgency. It was only for a moment, anyone else would’ve missed it, but not him; he remembers your eyes. He sighs when he sees the light reappear, taking his spot at your side once more.
“Do you take enjoyment in watching me worry?” you don’t have to do much for him to know you’re laughing at him, the look in your pupils tells him all he needs to know. Your hand hesitantly reaches for his cheek, brushing the back of your hand against pale skin. He takes possession of your palm, inhaling before letting the limb go again.
“M… Maybe… I do…” he can tell the effort it took to say just those few words. He watches you close your eyes before taking his handkerchief from his pocket, neatly folding the fabric on your chest.
“You… Truly—I can’t leave you like this…” … A wonderful thought. Maybe he just shouldn’t leave you, ever.
- Skully is quite literally screaming in panic, what exactly is he meant to do?!?! He basically webs you an entire luxury bedroom in your ail, gently coaxing you to lay down on the swindles of web. He smiles at your acceptance, ready to care for you with diligence! But then he remembers, that the entirety of this forest is dead. Any sign of life is quickly caught by him for consumption, any water has disappeared from streams, and plants have been desecrated for so long.
… How is he supposed to help you?!?
He can’t just wait for a wandering traveler to appear! That takes weeks or even months, he can’t wait that long! And even then, he can’t resort to feeding you the human…! It’s barbaric! For you at least... He does it all the time, but that’s because he’s a monster!! He doesn’t do it in front of you… you already seem so disappointed in him when you spy anyone just caught in his webs, the thought of you only looking at him with more fear in those eyes is unbearable—!
“Skully…—” he jumps at the feeling of you leaning on his shoulder, sweat glistening. He panics at the sight, picking you up with four of his arms while the other two set up your bed again.
“Please stay right here dear! I’ll find a way for you—” You pull his head down, close to your face, staring into all his eyes. You huff a single breath into his ear, the word ‘town’ the only audible thing. He knows himself, he stands out way too much to blend into society, so he really shouldn’t… But he can’t stop himself when he lifts you off the bed, a torn blanket he stole wrapped around him like a cloak.
He really shouldn’t… But for you he would break all manner of rules. Even, if he must be ungentlemanly, and leave a trail of webs and red in his wake, he’ll do it all, for you.
- Fellow turns his haunted head, his false joints bending to walk towards you. Thing strings begin to surround you like snakes, not touching, only moving around you.
“Fellow…? What are you…?”
“Shhhh, I thought sick people like you need sleep? My, don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly safe in my care!” the strings quickly push you towards him, Fellow’s false body and intricately designed clothes sound from the force you bump into him. Your head slowly turns up to look at the puppet, his face only a mere inches away from you. If he was a human, there’s no doubt he would be infected by now.
With each step he takes your hand weakly grabs his neck, the fox-themed marionette humming as the strings behind him follow close behind. You open your mouth to question what exactly he’s doing, but only a cough comes out. For a split second, Fellow looks down at you with pain, remembrance of something, something you don’t know. He’s back to the cunning showman persona just a moment later. With the opening of his fake mouth, words come from him.
“As I said, my valued hunter, I will make sure your visit to my stage…” your eyes flutter shut from exhaustion, your last feeling being hard lips placing a chaste kiss on your temple. “You will never feel fear in your life again, dear puppeteer, for the rest of this stage is yours.”
A puppeteer… One that controls the doll on stage… Is that really the case here?
You wake up to the instant feeling of rejuvenation. Just what happened?
The sight of Fellow cleaning his strings bloodied with crimson, tells you It might be better to not know just how you’ve been cured.
- Neige lets you rest your head on his chest as his ivory wings envelop you in a warm embrace, telling you you’ll get better soon, he promises.
It’s not like you can deny his oath, not without a voice. Even then, if you did have one, you don’t think you would’ve anyway, it would be too cruel to tell Neige you don’t trust him to fix you. He’ll lay pristine white covers over you as he flies out the window, a sense of urgency in the angel that he never feels very often unless it’s about the dear human he’s meant for.
When he gets back, he’ll tend to you with tenderness and a gentle touch. Each dab of a towel is soft yet effective, and every spoon of remedy kind as it goes down. He’s certain it’ll work, especially with each blessing he gives you, it must, it has to.
But it doesn’t. You still lay in bed coughing, your speech disappearing with each passing moment. It doesn’t do good for his heart, and he’s not even a human yet it hurts, it hurts seeing you frail like this. But, then his breathing hitches when he realizes a certain feeling swelling inside him.
Wrath. He’s angry that the world won’t let him help you, even more so that the earth feels to do this to you in the first place. He puts on a smile for you as he sits at your bedside, but the way he clenches his fist tells you there’s something else.
“Neige…—”
“It’s okay! I’m going to fulfill my promise, okay?” his eyes sparkle with determination, and all you can do is nod.
The next time he flies over, word of an all-healing elixir reaches his ears, and so, he finds the seller, giving them the kindest of greetings in disguise. He offers up the price everyone spoke of, telling the vendor about your condition. He's hopeful this will work when he gives it—!
“No.” … What? Any other words the seller had to go out one ear and the other, only the way they looked at him seared into his brain. The next moment is a blur for Neige, only the repeated word of ‘Greed’ repeating in his mind.
… When you get better, he folds his wings far away from you, hopeful that you won’t see the black scattered amongst the ivory. Even then, he will commit all manner of sin, even fall from grace, to make sure you stay so heavenly.
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A/n: If MH!Reader got a high fever when Crowley is around, you can bet money they’re coughing into a napkin and shoving it in his face to get him sick. If their illness ends up being something really bad, plague? Even better (for them, not everyone else cuz now you have the worst illness ever??? For Crowley too cuz wtf why’d you try giving him the plague?!?)
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cursingtoji · 2 years ago
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as requested, a longer version of this drabble
synopsis: geto spared one woman from the village he exterminated due to the pleading of mimiko and nanako, now he has to live in between preaching a world without non-sorcerers during the day and sleeping with one during the night; a dive into the mind of a conflicted man.
cw: canon events (no major spoilers), death topics, fem submissive reader x cult leader geto, smut, oral (m -> f), 1.6k words.
part 2
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The day was horribly busy, on days like these, where he had to talk in front of a crowd for such a long time, then entertain donors, then eat curses, Geto can’t sleep due to the loud noise of his mind, he would probably sleep if he was in a equally loud environment, but, except for the sound of your soft breathing, the room has dead quiet.
Dead quiet.
Geto sits up, the cold air hitting his bare chest as he takes in the sight of the red temple across the open window, a ruffling makes him draw and narrow his eyes to the figure in his bed.
He remembers the day he first saw you, trying to sneak in the room where Mimiko and Nanako were locked in, he was in the process of exterminating the people in that village so he didn’t think twice when he grabbed you by your hair ready to let a curse rip you apart but the deafening sound of the girl’s scream stopped him, only then he noticed a bag with food that fell of your hands.
He could see from a distance, you were like the rest of them, a regular non-sorcerer and a few minutes ago he decided what he wanted.
A world free of non-sorcerers.
He can’t make an exception. He shouldn’t.
The twins had tears in their eyes. They’re young and his responsibility now, so a helping hand couldn’t be a sin. He could leave you for last. 
Somehow he finds in his heart to spare you, and once he consolidated his power as a leader, he took the three of you in, the girls only leave your side when he’s around, they don’t approach anyone else except the two of you.
The first week you were around sorcerers he could see the fear and confusion in your face. Nanako tugged his clothing and he squatted to listen as she whispered to him “She cannot see them”.
So he provided special glasses for you, one with cursed energy so you could see what people like you shouldn’t, and he made Nanako hand it to you as you slowly began to comprehend what the weird events around you actually were.
She should be thankful, she’s only alive because of me.
He thought about that constantly, especially when watching you smiling and minding your own business.
And you are grateful and respectful towards him, almost never making eye contact, just keeping your head down and only calling him “Geto-sama”, he appreciated that, you should know your place.
It’s only a matter of time before he grows fond of you too, with his influence and your submission, it didn’t take long before you were in his bed, being happy to serve him in any ways.
It’s a contradiction having you around, he knows it. A monkey.
You sleep so peacefully, he wonders if you understand how lucky you are to make it this far.
Tonight could be your last night on earth, how deserving are you to live in his ideal world? You have two little girls that adore you, is that enough? He could just tell them something awful happened.
His cold fingers trace the back of your neck, ghosting your cervical spine.
You fell off the stairs and broke your neck, so sad.
That’s believable, the temple has many stairs.
His index finds your pulsing point.
A man attacked you, another monkey, and cut your throat, how horrible.
His eyes drop to your rising chest.
You fell on the lake and drowned, a terrible accident.
There’s so many possibilities to get rid of you without them blaming Geto.
Warm fingers unexpectedly find his hand, your small hand covers his. Suguru feels his human side returning to him, the dark cloud over his head slowly fading away as you take his wrist and you turn your head to kiss his palm.
He feels like crying, confused and guilty.
The bedroom is dark enough for you to miss the look of despair in his eyes, he allows you to caress the veins in his forearms, tracing it all the way to his biceps until you find his neck with your arm completely extended. Suguru gives in to the light pressure you make, bringing him to lay back down with you. You kiss his shoulders, his chest, his neck.
He doesn’t feel worth your kisses.
Again the contradiction.
You kiss his jawline and he stops you with a hand over your lips, he doesn’t want you to feel the way his lips quiver, you don’t ask questions, just accept and kiss his palm again, holding it against your cheek.
Geto is hard on you sometimes, giving humiliating tasks such as cleaning up the remains of someone who wronged him or capturing a curse that will for sure attack you. As much as he sometimes thinks of creating a space between the girls and you, the little ones always find a way back, helping you clean while keeping a non-morbid conversation topic or helping bandage the scratches you got from the small but feisty cursed spirited you were assigned to.
Yet you never once complained, always bowing in obedience with a soft “Yes, Geto-sama” coming out of your lips.
He knows when to treat you well too, sometimes he knocks on your room at night, sometimes he sends someone to call you over to his. When his whole cult speech was over he would dismiss everyone except you, to be alone in the giant spacious room with him, he likes to take you there, where your quiet sounds of pleasure bounce through the walls and create an echo.
You’re good to him, not to his cause, to Geto-sama you’re useless, but to Suguru Geto you’re an anchor.
He returns your kisses, sucking on your clavicle then down the soft skin of your breasts, where he takes in one nipple and licks until it gets hard enough for him to gently bite on and make you gasp.
Your hands find his hair, his long soft locks, the same ones you brush ever so patiently when Mimiko and Nanako turn it into a mess of knots from braiding and tying tiny silicone elastics on, you don’t scold them, even if it means to stay hours with Geto trying to undo it afterwards. 
They will grow up to be spoiled.
But he also could never scold them like a father is supposed to, deep down he knows he won’t need to, they adore him, anything he’ll say they’ll do. 
They’re good kids, he supposes he owns it to you too.
Suguru leaves a wet trail of kisses down your body until he’s between your legs, he first starts by licking the surrounds of your clit teasing patiently as you get wetter, the sleepiness doesn’t allow you to protest or whine, only to close your eyes and take whatever he’s willing to give you while tangling your fingers in his hair.
When he finally gives your nub some attention in the form of sucking, your leg twitches, he squeezes it and places it over his shoulder, at this point he’s laying on his stomach vaguely thrusting his pelvis onto the mattress to relieve a bit of the aching in his cock he gets when eating you out.
He adds more tongue as he moves down your needy hole, which pulsates around nothing, Suguru hums nuzzling your glossy folds, the vibration goes straight to your hardened nub.
“Geto-sama” you moan when he fucks you with his tongue, the tip of his nose hits your clit perfectly, once he looks up to see you falling apart on him you shiver, his eyes are predatory, you wonder if you should retrieve your hand from his head, but he quickly closes them again, losing himself in the taste of you. God, you taste so good. What makes him get through the day when he has to absorb those disgusting curses is the thought of getting lost between your legs, sucking your nipples, eating his own cum off you, sucking your tongue…
He feels your orgasm approaching as you tug his locks harder, whimpering softly. Usually he would make you beg, stopping his ministrations just before you get there and delaying it until there are tears in your eyes. Tonight he’s enjoying the silence, he might just let you go ahead, but there’s something he wants to hear.
“Say my name” he orders with a raspy voice.
“Get—“
“No” he bites your inner thigh, “My actual name.”
“Suguru” you roll his name so beautifully on your tongue.
“Keep saying it” he dives back, making out with your pussy and paying extra attention to your puffy clit as you call his name in a prayer.
He misses it, the way his first name used to be used, nowadays is just “Geto-sama this, Geto-sama that, master, sir”. It would inflate his ego if it didn’t come out of monkeys' mouths.
But Suguru? He left that for you only, even the other sorcerers he considers family just call him Geto.
Before he realizes you’re already cumming, hole pulsating around his tongue and heels digging on his back. He slows down his pace, nibbling on your glossy lips then taking your hand out of his hair to kiss it like you did earlier, the act makes your heart swell, you caress his face, thumb rubbing the dark circles under his eyes.
“Suguru” you call his name again, this time looking straight in his eyes, they don’t seem predatory anymore as he moves up finding a safe spot on your chest, where he lays down listening to your heartbeat as your fingers work through the knots in his hair, this time caused by yourself. Your other hand caresses his back and shoulders, whatever skin you can find to soothe him. Now he doesn’t have the loud voices in his head and bitter taste in his mouth and manages to fall asleep again.
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part 2 ->
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theorist-fox · 6 months ago
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Takes practice
Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader
Crossposting from AO3.
Part 1 >> Part 2
In my feel-good romance era. Usually more of a slap me pull my hair touch me there, there, there - no more talking. But not today. No SIR.
The bit regarding the satellite phones and telemarketers was inspired by the first chapters of Shadowed by Tarajanee. Absolutely adore that work and I thought those scenes at the beginning were lovely!
Word count: 13k
Summary: Simon is deployed for the first time since the beginning of your relationship. Instead of finding purpose in keeping the world clean, he finds it in keeping himself alive, because he's never been this eager to come home.
18+
CW: smut!!! dry humping, mutual masturbation, thigh fucking, P in V. Fluff, this is very fluffy. Soft Simon Riley, Simon is absolutely fucking whipped. Self-deprecating thoughts, intrusive thoughts, angst if you squint so don't squint and you'll only get yearning and love making.
Masterlist 🦊 | Series Masterlist 🦊
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Simon doesn’t remember your eyes.
He’s been clawing at his face, both literally and metaphorically, because each time he closes his eyelids to succumb to exhaustion, he sees your face.
And you’re pretty. So much. He envisions the curve of your smile and how your lips part to give way to your teeth. The lines at the corners that scrunch your nose and how it flushes when it’s too cold out. He has memorized the shape of your brows for every expression. Knows the line of your cheekbones and how they swell under your eyes when you smile.
Your face is lovely, even when he conjures it in his head. But when your form breaks through the mist, he gets startled every time. Because he can’t see your eyes.
It's like a mock picture of you. A mimicry gone bad. You’re there, fresh and real, whispering sweet words to him, tossing a quip, or moaning breathlessly as he remembers the way he’s fucked you, but your eyes are carved out. Blank spots instead of the windows to your soul, like everyone always seems to chatter about.
Sure, he remembers the shape of your eyes, and if he takes deep breaths, cancels out Johnny’s blabber blaring from his cot, and enters a deep meditative state, he might be able to draw their outline.
But it’s the shade he misses. Are they sapphire, dark, and cryptic? Or frostbite blues. Emerald, maybe. He ponders, but he’s not sure. Brown, like his? Chocolate, with swirling hazels like golden speckles. Stormy grey. Charcoal black. Amber. Gold. Fucking crimson.
He doesn’t know.
But it's only been three months since he left.
And it’s been six months since Simon has taken you on his bed and fucked his name into you. Six months since he’s finally tasted your skin and imprinted your flavor on his tongue. 
It’s your fault, he thinks, if now everything he eats tastes bland. Nothing sweeter than the salt of you. The dichotomy is not lost on him. He’s a rational man, and figures easily that skin can't be sweet, especially not after he made you sweat by pounding you into the mattress. Yet he might have lost a marble or two after that, because now not even honey can compare.
Which is why he’s moved his things in your room. Just because it’s bigger, he told you. No other reason, really.  
Fucking liar. 
But again, you’re as saccharine as you taste. And maybe not as naïve as he thinks. Because ever since that night, six months ago, your hands often intertwine with his own when you guide him to bed – your bed. 
And that’s how he found a nightstand full of his things on the side closer to the doorway of the room. There’s the book you’ve lent him and a re-filled plastic bottle of water right next to it, one that he should probably throw away like you constantly tell him. Something about microplastics, but fuck if he knows. Because ever since that night, he’s lost a bit of his logic, a lot more of his sanity: you can speak for hours on end and he wouldn’t hear a damn thing if not for how your voice vibrates against his eardrums, sending tingles down his spine. 
Surreptitiously, his things have started to appear in your room. He doesn’t have much, a phew photos of his family are shuffled with your trinkets. Plain, white frames stuffed in between your smiles on pictures you’ve taken with friends. 
A frame of his medals, the ones you insisted he kept, nailed to the wall next to your PhD certificate. 
Tidy, onyx wardrobe polluted with pinks and greens. Breathable cotton and faux furs. Fuzzy fabrics that leave a rainbow of synthetic hairs on his clothes. He doesn’t bother to pluck them off, it’s just another piece of you he’s lucky to carry around.
His old bedroom turns into a storage room. Filled with boxes of forgotten things and broken appliances you can’t be bothered to fix. 
And he promises to tinker a little with the vacuum, so you won’t have to spend money on a new one and use your savings for your guilty pleasures. That book you saw when you went out together for groceries? Consider it yours. The cooking classes you wanted to attend at that restaurant you’re always raging about? He’s already bought you a pristine new apron. 
And maybe he’ll take you there, too. Ask for a more secluded table where he can still spot the door, so he can also uncoil the muscles of his back and use his eyes only to look at you, instead of having them dart around for dangers.
But fuck, he can’t do any of that now. 
It’s his first mission after that night, six months ago, and Simon is already feeling withdrawal symptoms. You’re worse than morphine on a dying man; you leave him aching for something he knows he can have because you're so obviously there, but he’s so stupidly far away.
And he can’t even tell you where he is. Can’t even give you some peace of mind. Can barely call you, because Johnny’s been hogging the satellite phone to talk to Lord-knows-who.
The Scot is not selfish, Simon knows he would only have to ask, and the bulky device would practically materialize in his hand. But Simon also knows that if he dared, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. Because in the years spent in the task force, he’s never needed to call anyone. 
Can’t call the dead, now, can you? 
And now, popping a question like that would only raise suspicions. It would have his mates up his arse until his head would split in half.
But it’s been six months since that night. Three months since he left. 
And that pocket of time he’s managed to spend with you, uninterrupted, almost made him accustomed to civilian life. To the lack of his mask and the AC of the flat breezing against his face. The taste of homecooked meals. The constant presence of another soul (a beautiful one at that) in his same space. 
With you, he’s never parched – of anything. You feed him mind, heart and body, showering him with that innocent love you so easily dispense, allowing him to bathe in it. 
He’d listen to your never-ending chat for days. His mind has always roared with sounds, yet the more noise you make the more you silence it. Baffling, really, how he’s spent his whole life looking for quiet and found it in the loudest person on earth.
He’s always sated with your kisses, your words, your quick mind and razor-sharp wit, your moans and your mewls, and God, anything you were willing to give. Your lips, your spit, the juices he makes you drip, and the ones he makes you spray. He dreams of cupping your clit with his mouth as he ravages your cunt with two thick fingers until you’re splashing on his tongue. He’d drink you dry, if you’d let him. 
And oh, you have. 
There’s  the wonderful catch. These are not wishes; these are memories. Too real and fresh ones for them to be just another one of his daydreams.
Finally, after three months of pondering – or better, yearning – he realizes that every skin-prickling migraine his mates would induce is worth the sweet, sweet sound of your voice.
He’s disgustingly sweaty. He tugs at the lip of his collar and grimaces when he feels the cotton unstick from the dampness on his chest. 
Johnny's sitting idly, enjoying the few days of break from mayhem. Just a handful of hours allowed, really, enough to get them back on their feet – tactical planning, refill of their resources. Boring shite like that. But at least it’s a breather all right.
“Got the phone, Johnny?” He grumbles.
And Johnny would love to act as none the wiser, but his eyes peek from behind the sketchbook he holds in his hand. The smirk that curls at his lips has Simon roll his eyes. 
He makes a beckoning gesture with his fingers, giving him a pointed look. “Johnny.”
“L.T.” He responds in kind. “Callin’ the landlord?”
Simon levels him with a deadpan look that could freeze the desert they’re stuck in. “Sergeant.”
Bastard’s too cunning for his own good.
Johnny drops the sketchbook immediately, showing the lieutenant his palms in defense. The cheeky bastard that he is doesn’t manage to conceal the absolute fascination in his eyes. He’s studying his superior as if he’s staring at another species.
And Simon doesn’t blame him. He’s like a sock that’s been turned inside out, the negative image of himself. All that gloomy energy turned blinding light, ever since he’s had a taste of what life could be with you in it.
But alas, no one wants to have the Ghost up their arse, so Johnny looks around the messy area around his cot and plucks the girthy satellite phone out of it.
Simon picks it up by pinching the tiny antenna on its side. It prompts Johnny’s smirk to broaden. 
“Haven’t done anythin’ with it.” He quips, letting it hang in the air for a second longer. “Or have I.”
Simon grunts a noise of disgust. “Spare me.”
He finds a secluded spot in the area they're occupying. There's nothing around them but the rubble of a city that has been torn by war and time. The sight is dour, and the silence echoes a dark past he hasn’t witnessed. Even so, the remains of the buildings are tall enough to offer their lot some cover. 
He slides with his back against a wall, knees spread wide. 
He knows your number by heart, his thumb presses each button with newfound resolve. Only when he brings the phone to his ear, does his determination falter. Because he hasn't contacted you in any way, shape, or form for three months. So, what if you’re livid, now? You’d have every right. He’d understand if you’d rip him a new one through the receiver. He just hopes you didn’t spend these days rethinking your choices. 
God, you’ve infected him with this overthinking bullshit.
“Hello?” Your voice breaks through the fog in his brain, like a hand wiping mist from glass, and his own breath threatens to choke him. He’s speechless for a moment, forgetting how to function properly.
Just your voice has sent his mind into overdrive - burnt his synapses to ashes. 
He reckons he’s completely fucked.
“Hello?” You repeat, sounding a little more annoyed. 
You grumble something about telemarketers having lost the decency to call at a reasonable hour. And when he doesn't answer again, he hears you sigh. Your voice gets all clinical, then, as if you were trained to repeat the same script over and over. “Listen, if you’re trying to sell me somethin’, my husband’s not home – he takes care of that stuff.”
He snorts.
“Your husband?”
Silence.
There’s a sort of shifting sound, he gathers you might have removed the phone from your ear and checked for the number on the screen. He can practically see your eyes squinting at the phone.
He hears you gasp, and he hints at a smile. Fucking hell, he doesn’t remember the last time he’s done that.
“Simon?” You venture.
“Hello, love.” 
You squeal, and he pulls the phone away from his ear with a grimace. But he’s tired of lying to himself – his heart is soaring. 
"Christ. Made my ears ring," he deadpans.
You chuckle, sighing afterward, as if a weight has been lifted from your chest. God, you’re a dream to listen to. If only he could also look at your face right now, just bask in the way your smile would light up the room. 
“Serves you right,” you chide him, as if that could ever be a punishment. “Could’ve called a little earlier than three months in. Was already looking for a new flatmate.”
He’s eternally thankful for the skull mask, even if it’s soddened with his sweat because if anyone were to walk by, they wouldn’t see how his face has softened. 
“Yeah?” He sniffs, “Made a new flyer and all tha’?” 
“Oh yeah,” You agree flippantly. There’s a shuffling sound that reminds him of bedsheets. “Made sure to add my boyfriend left me as a footnote.”
The corners of his lips twitch minutely. 
“Thought it was your husband who wasn’t home.” He retorts. “Got a stash of ‘em, then?”
Your chuckle is a breath of fresh air. He wants to have it imprinted in his eardrums, replacing the aggravating tinnitus. 
“Oh, y’know,” you sigh dramatically. “Bit o’ this, bit o’ that. Keeps things interesting.”
“Gotta have a chat with the lad, then.” He taunts, “Set some rules.”
“Good luck with that. He rarely listens.”
He hums fondly. It’s all he can give you, right now. 
He’s new to this, relationships have never been his forte. For the first time in his life, he’s having someone else guide him. It’s hard, he won’t deny it, having another set of hands grasp the wheel, instead of his own. But he’s letting you, however slowly. You’re understanding, and you’re allowing him to leave his foot on the brakes. You never push him, you go at his pace – even if it’s blatantly annoying, how sluggish his movements are. Yet you don’t seem to mind, and he’s eternally grateful for it.
“How…” You start. He can tell you’re unsure, whether or not you can ask these things. Whether or not he can answer them. “How are you?”
His eyes soften. 
“Good,” he reassures you. “’S hot.”
You hum. “North Africa.”
He clicks his tongue. “No.”
“Okay.” A beat. “Middle East?”
Eh.  “No.”
You gasp. 
“You’re throwing me off guard, aren’t you? You said it’s hot, but it actually isn’t.” You say cleverly, even if you’re aware it’s most likely untrue. “North America, then. Like - Canada.”
“Drop it, maybe.” He offers gently. “Making a fool o’ yourself.”
“Alaska.” 
“Love.”  He warns, but his voice is kind. “Wastin’ time.”
“Mh, the script has changed, I see.” You tease him, and he can tell you’re smiling, by the way your voice comes. “Thought you were gonna hit me with the classified.”
“Like to keep you on your toes.”
“Been on my toes for three months.”
His heart clenches a little. He doesn’t want that. Doesn’t want you to live on the line like that. He wonders if you’ve ever felt like this, in the four years he’s lived with you without having anything tethering each other, if not a casual friendship. Were you ever afraid when he left for his deployments? Or is this new to you, like it is for him?
“Fixed the vacuum, by the way.” You tell him lightly, as if sensing the tense air your comment has instilled. 
He silently thanks you for breaking the silence when he couldn’t. A gentle huff of relief travels through the receiver. 
“What was the problem?” He asks, even if not really fussed about the state of the thing.
“Fuck if I know.” You shrug. “Gave it a few whacks and it started working again.”
He fails to keep in a huff of laughter. “Fucking hell, ‘s tha’ what you’ve been doing, then? Hitting appliances?”
“Fixing appliances.” You correct him. “And stress baking. Lots of it.”
“Work’s botherin’ ya?” 
“S’fine.” You sigh sweetly, as though that could give him some peace of mind. “Everything’s fine over here, you don’t have to worry.”
Selfless angel, you are. He would have to be daft not to realize that you’re probably leeching your heart dry at the thought that something might happen to him. He feels like a fool for not having contacted you sooner, even when he had only a minute to spare.
His pride be damned.
“’M sorry I didn’t call earlier.” He apologizes, because the least he can do is hope you forgive him for being like a baby deer on ice about all this. 
“You called.” Your voice is soft. “’S what matters.”
He knows what you mean. He’s alive, that’s what matters. He’s faring good enough to chat with you, that’s what matters. He’s missing you as much as you’re longing for him, that’s what matters. 
He leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. His offhand runs across his face and he has to rip his own head out of his arse before the thoughts overwhelm him. 
How can he put you through this?  He should’ve left three weeks in, four years ago; should’ve let you share your home with someone more reliable, one who didn’t have a blade oscillating above his neck.
And yet at the same time, he can't let go of you. 
You’re so good to him, you’re the drop of water in a life that’s always felt arid. You made his barren heart flourish without even trying – he didn’t think anyone could, he thought he was bound to be frozen soil, not a garden. But here you fucking are, with your tiny watering can, nourishing the earth and causing it to sprout.
He’s selfish. He is. There is no karmic balance in his reasons. The scale tips in his favor through and through, because he’s sure you’re not gaining anything from this relationship, if not a spike in anxiety and its hand around your neck.
“How long?” You ask, seemingly unable to bear the silence.
"Few weeks." He croaks and clears his throat when he notices how cracked his voice sounds. “Be back in three. Could be two, if things go to plan.”
The silence on your end is deafening. Unwittingly giving him a taste of his own medicine.
“Countdown starts, then.” You reply with that sunshine in your voice. Sunbeams through ominous clouds. “Gonna tally the days on the wall with one of your can openers.”
He snorts. “Lotta money to fix.”
“We can put ugly wallpaper over it,” you propose. “So the next person to rent the place will remove it and a whole kidnapping slash ghost story will spread around the neighborhood.”
You’re crazy, he thinks, but not unkindly. His heart squeezes in his chest.
“Fucking numpty.”
“Fucking numpty, or fucking numpty, derogative?”
He smirks. “Former.”
“Wonderful.” You say with a pinch of a smile he can’t see, sounding all smug.
However, nothing nice can last forever, not in Simon Riley’s plane of existence. He spots his captain approaching him, fiddling with the boonie hat in his grasp while his other hand lazily dries droplets of sweat on his forehead.
“Gotta go.” He mutters. Waits a bit. Shuffles through his thoughts and decides to swallow his pride, because you deserve at least that much. “Missed you. Still do.”
You're silent for a moment longer before you give him a last glimpse of your voice. The one he'll hold onto like a lifeline for the next three – hopefully two – weeks. 
“Miss you too.” You say gently. “Come home soon.”
And he’s back suddenly. 
Earlier than expected, at that – one week only. Price was all business, a few days after he caught him sneaking a phone call. Telling him things like “Need you at HQ. Work with Laswell, make sure classified intel stays classified”. And when he questioned why would he send his sniper and lieutenant to do a job an analyst should do, Price answered with a curt “Because I can trust you”.
Honestly, what could he have said to that? Even if it smelled fishy from afar, his reasoning sounded mostly reliable. Because you would send your most trusted to deal with sensitive information, right? And if Simon were a bit more daft and a bit less intuitive, he would've shrugged it off. 
But it was plain as day when his boot landed on British soil, duffel bag in hand. When his phone pinged after he turned off airplane mode, and a text popped up:
[Unknown number]: Take a few days off for the jet lag. 
That he realized the ploy his teammates had concocted. To be honest, he wasn’t as resentful as he thought he was going to be. There was lingering thankfulness – somewhere, deep below layers and layers of stoicism.
[You]: Time zones aren’t that different. 
[Unknown number]: Take a few days off to just rest, then. 
[You]: Not that tired. 
[Unknown number]: Never took you for one to question orders. 
[You]: Never took you for one to put personal life before our job. 
Simon waited patiently under the overhanging lip of the hangar. The Kevlar of his glove crinkled as his fingers curled around the hand of his duffle bag. The rain creates a gentle buzz against the metal.
It took a while for the other bubble to appear, as if the other person – most likely Price, judging by the vocabulary used in the texts – was thinking about the right thing to say.
And the right thing it was, when the words fluttered on Simon’s phone screen.
[Unknown number]: About time you put yours first, though. 
Simon, for once, agreed.
────────────
The keys slide into the keyhole with familiarity. He turns it three times, content to see you’ve locked the door all the way. When he steps in, the flat is quiet, but he isn’t expecting otherwise. It’s late at night, the hands of the clock that’s hanging above the telly mark somewhere around three in the morning, but it’s too dark to be sure. 
He's ever so gentle when he closes the door and gingerly sets the duffle bag at his feet. 
The first thought popping in his head it’s you. You’re not expecting him to be back so soon, and he has this trepidation in him that wants to command his feet to the door of your bedroom only to see how you’d react to his unexpected presence.
But he takes a moment to digest this new feeling. 
It's hard to realize that, finally, you're not dreading something. For the first time in an excruciatingly long while, Simon isn't afraid. While his brain is rigidly wired in a way that makes him refuse to acknowledge his vulnerabilities, the heart knows best.
And he is scared. He’s always been scared, ever since his mother granted him the possibility of walking this earth. Being excited to live has never been his strong suit, but he’s learning. He’s trying. 
Takes practice, to accept you’re worth your happiness.
So, as a novice learner, it’s a little jarring to realize that when his feet land on the hardwood floors of this house, there's no need for fear. He can tuck the dread away, stuff it in a pocket, and close the flap, all the while being sure no harm will come his way. Certainty that with you there’s no need for all that, for vigilance – he can unravel the knots, and simply feel what comes, because it's not going to hurt him. 
You could never.
Hooking a finger under the hem of the balaclava, he snatches it off his head and lays it on the shelf next to the doorway. It’s soaked in rain, but he’ll wash it tomorrow. And he’ll use your fabric softener, so it’ll smell like your sheets. 
The flat looks awfully dull with the lights off. The bright colors are mere shades of grey, and while he’ll never admit it out loud, he truly thinks the orange of the eastern wall brightens the room as you've told him. The thought itself baffles him – Simon Riley now knows a thing or two about home design. You’ve changed him in ways he never expected. 
However, the thing that shocks him even more than his newfound knowledge of home interior embellishments, is when the smell of baked goods bullies its way into his nose. His mouth waters in a Pavlovian response. 
Right.  
Stress baking. 
He kneels to unlace his boots, before toeing them off gently, making sure they won’t thud against the floor and disturb your sleep. Then, he practically floats to the kitchen, still unbelieving at the idea that he gets to come home and find delicacies as such ready to eat. Sometimes, in the span of life he decides to call the “Before you”, he’d snatch a few MREs from the stash in base and eat them once back in his flat. 
Easy, quick, and edible. Even if they taste like cardboard.
And now he gets to walk into a kitchen that smells like blueberries and buttercream and black tea. He gets to grab a lumpy muffin from the tray on the kitchen island and sink his teeth in its golden and blue fluff. The flavors erupt on his tongue, from the saccharine spongy cake to the sweet tang of the blueberry juice as the fruit bursts under his teeth.
He selfishly hopes your stress baking will last for a few more days.
Nevertheless, while he’d gladly eat the whole tray if it were up to him, there’s something he craves more than a full stomach. And you're currently waiting in the other room, probably tucked under the duvet because the British weather tonight is rigidly cold. 
He shrugs off his wind jacket and drapes it over the backrest of a kitchen chair. He can’t afford to take any steps backward. The coat rack is just a few paces back from the kitchen, nailed to the wall near the entrance, but he really doesn’t care. That handful of seconds is too precious to waste.
The steps he takes through the dark hallway are measured and silent; years of special forces training have taught a man his size how to be what his callsign implies.
Discreetly, he turns the knob, trying to make sure he won’t wake you with a startle because the door has barged open. However, the one caught by surprise it’s him. Because you’re not asleep, even if it’s three in the morning. 
Oh, he wants to give you a proper earful – sure, he's not your father, and if you're so keen on staying awake up until this hour on a weekday, then it's your funeral. 
Does it help school the unruly necessity of keeping you as healthy as can be? Absolutely fucking not. You’re a heathen and he hates you for it. 
But now you’re resting your back against the headboard, cross-legged on the bed. Satin blue navy camisole paired with matching shorts, big headphones on your ears, and your laptop on the mattress. You’re typing away. He’s sure you’ve pushed back an assignment from work and now you’re running out of time.
The room is dark, the only light being the screen of your computer casting your silhouette against the wall behind you. It’s silent aside from the patter of rain on the windowpane – you haven’t closed the blinds because Simon knows you love the moon flooding your room with gentle light. However, tonight the clouds are dominating the night sky, but the lampposts across the street are doing what the moon can’t, and you seem to favor that over complete darkness.
It’s clear you haven’t noticed him yet, music blaring in your ears and eyes focused on the monitor. But he’s seen you all right. And your eyes are cast downward, your lashes like annoying curtains depriving him of what he's been missing for the past three months. 
In spite of how muffled his movements have been, you seem to notice a shift in the air. Something that makes your skin prickle, a pair of eyes that shouldn’t be in the same room, nor in the same flat – not now, at least, when he should be mummified in Kevlar and breathable cotton somewhere in the desert. He's secretly proud of how easily you seem to feel fluctuations in the environment. Makes him take a breath of relief, that your reflexes aren't dull even when your senses are already busy.
You lift your head swiftly, and he helps you focus on him by flicking up the light switch. The sudden brightness makes you squint, but you blink it away and finally clock him at the door. 
And your eyes are the color of the sun, he thinks. How could he forget, that they’re the color of a bonfire when it's cold out. Of yellows, oranges, and those occasional sparkles of green when the wood is not dry, but still burns to keep him warm.
Realization paints your face with stunning colors: darkening cheeks, eyes shaped like crescent moons under the pressure of rising cheekbones. Mouth curving beautifully, and it seems to catch your teeth. The smile stretches your lips abruptly, morphing your face in spare seconds.
He sees it happen in slow motion. You rip your headphones and carelessly toss them on the bed, your laptop is skewed to the side so quickly that he instinctively reaches out a hand to prevent its fall. Thankfully, the stars are on your side tonight, and the balance tips it on the mattress, instead of the floor. 
You’re a little hurricane, scurrying off the bed and kicking off the sheets. Getting on your feet and almost slipping in the attempt to reach him in as little time as possible. A tornado of limbs envelops him in the blink of an eye. He barely has time to react that you’re already coiled around him like ivy– arms, legs, and all.
Luckily, the doorway is right behind him, and he manages to tumble back and lean against it. Your arms are vines around his neck. Your legs are roots encircling his waist. You seem to grow on him, supplying his wretched heart with the sap of life you carry – symbiotic. He feels like he can breathe again and has been doing it wrong all this time.
He helps your balance by keeping a firm hold around your waist with his arms, encapsulating you in his warmth. Lean fingers spread on your back, yearning to touch as much as he can reach.
“Easy,” he rumbles. His voice is hoarse because whatever reaction he'd imagined, all this fussing surely wasn’t it.
Your fingers thread through his hair and tug lightly at his scalp. He’s silently apologetic because it must be wet with both rain and sweat, and he's sure the smell wafting from him isn't exactly cologne-worthy. But you don't seem to care, because after you've thoroughly inspected the crook of his neck, your face comes back into view.
Your eyes are the color of joy.
“Welcome back.” You whisper, as if it’s a secret between you two. And you kiss him because surely you must want it as much as he does. A flutter of lashes brushes his cheekbone when you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Nails scrape at his scalp in the gentlest of ways. 
Simon feels your smile before he sees it. “You taste like blueberries.”
And he exhales against your lips. “Found ‘em waiting for me in the kitchen. Baked for an army, y’ have.”
You peck his lips once more, as if you couldn’t fathom a second longer without having them on yours. “Figured you’d be hungry. MRIs can’t be that tasty.”
"MREs,” he corrects. “And you’re right. They ain’t.”
Simon is not sure he’s ever received such a warm welcome, or such warmth in general. He’s not going to complain, of course, but that doesn't mean it leaves him any less rattled each time.
He gently sets you down at the edge of the mattress, standing between your legs – which you’ve pliantly spread to make room for him.
You gesture with your hand from left to right, "Potato, Po-tah-to."
"One is food, the other is medical equipment," he deadpans.
You glare up at him, as if to ask what the hell he wants now – it's three in the morning. Can’t be arsed to correct vowels at three in the morning.
“Potato.” You enunciate it better now, and it steals a lazy grin from him. “Po-tah-to.”
After having flicked your forehead at your insistence, he reverently lays his hand on your cheek and spreads his fingers into your hair.
“Alright?” You ask him.
“Mhmh,” it’s his only reply.
If only to feel you more, he guides your face to his belly. You seem to appreciate the gesture because you're already nuzzling his shirt, fisting it at his back for good measure. Simon feels your back expand and deflate under his palm when you breathe. Feels the rhythmic thump thump of your heart at his fingertips.
You’re life in its purest form. 
Face first into his abdomen, your voice is obviously muffled, but he hears it clearly anyway. "You smell like a sewer, mate."
He snorts, and lightly tugs at your hair, enough to make your head tilt back. He squints his eyes at you. “Cry ‘bout it, mate.”
Simon bends at the waist as you chuckle. Places a kiss on the crown of your head. Your eyes flutter closed and so do his. 
For a moment, there’s nothing but you two. The world muffles its noise to favor the sound of your breaths. The rain patters against the windowpane. Your laptop has gone into standby mode so now the screen is dark. The mellow light on the ceiling, a pale yellow, is like your discreet personal spotlight. 
Then, he reluctantly pulls away, and you chase him for more, pouting when he doesn’t seem to come back. But when he starts to undress, your scowl is easily replaced by a lazy grin. To increase the dramatics of the moment, you lean back on your elbows and wiggle your brows at him, “Well, well.”
You’re not subtle at all with the way your eyes follow a trail down his back, how the muscles fold when his hand reaches to the collar of his shirt and pulls it off his head. Curves and muscles and the indent of his spine. Skin freckled with scars you never ask a thing about because you're kind and you’re giving him time to open up on his own.
He’s put on some weight ever since your relationship has transitioned into something more meaningful, including feelings he still doesn’t have the guts to acknowledge. His abs are not as defined as before, they’re tucked under a layer of fat he’s not really accepting as of lately. The scar running across his stomach and its other companions only add to his self-deprecating streak.
He eyes you briefly as he unbuckles his belt, searching for what he’s sure is going to be a grimace, but he's met instead with the stupidest look he’s ever witnessed. Slow blinking at his form the more he undresses himself. Lips parted as if you’ve tried and failed to catch your jaw.
And that gives him the right to take those thoughts and shove them into the fear pocket. Sew it shut. No need to fear a thing, if you look at him that way.
You bite the tip of your tongue between your teeth. "Givin' me a show, lieutenant?"
The corner of Simon’s lips tugs upward and the sudden self-hatred sublimates under the warm adoration in your eyes.
“Cheeky little thing,” he rumbles, letting his khakis pool at his ankles. He steps out of them and shrugs them off when they catch his feet. 
One last step, and he’s already hooking a finger under the hem of your blue camisole, slowly lifting it up. There's an impish gleam in your eyes that promises trouble and he would love nothing more than to drown in whatever disaster you're planning.
He stands between your legs only in his underwear and after you’ve shut the laptop and placed it on your nightstand, your hands immediately come to rest on his stomach. Simon sighs at the touch.
“You’re a menace,” he says gently when you drum your fingers up to his chest.
Honestly, he hopes you don’t care if he smells like a cocktail of grime and sweat and rain, because, as much as he wishes for a hot shower, the sight of you melts whatever need away. 
Your eyes travel downward, taking a generous eyeful of him. However, he knows you’re not just ogling; you're searching him for wounds. 
Bandages. 
Sutures. 
Anything  that might tell you whether he's hurt or not. 
Obviously, Simon knows you want to ask. But you’re sensible when it comes to his job. In spite of the jabs about all the “Classified” he’s given you as answers, he knows you don’t hold a grudge against him. He also doesn't like to bring work at home, taking pains to leave his safe space untainted by it – instead, he lets you do the detective work yourself. 
A sweet sigh leaves your lips when you settle on the fact that he's unscathed, and you lift your arms up to help him take off your top.
"A menace?" You quip, feigning offense. "M’not the one looking naked and yummy."
“You’re about to.”
You don’t look away from his eyes when his fingers pull your top up and off. The camisole is gently removed past your head, the satin leaving your hair a little staticky. 
“A menace,” he murmurs once more, his tone softer now as he tosses the garment in a vague direction.
You wrap your arms around his waist, propping your chin on the hollow between his ribs, taking in his face as the sight that it is to your eyes. He doesn’t have the energy to question why, and just basks in the adoring attention and in the well-deserved skin-to-skin contact.
"How was it this time?" You ask gently.
His arm drapes over your shoulders, slowly stroking at your skin. A tender kiss to your hairline has you automatically sighing. You do it every time he kisses your head. He's mentally taken note of how his lips press a button of sorts that makes it all wash away, like suds under the jet of water.
“Same as always,” he murmurs, keeping his tone low and soft for your ears only. 
You hum in acknowledgment. "So?"
He smirks, a curve hidden in your hair. “Classified.”
You scoff and playfully slap his butt. He pulls back with a newfound glow in his eyes.
“Not Full Metal Jacket, if you’re wondering.” 
You hum, deciding to play along. “Spies involved?”
He snorts and tucks a rogue lock behind your ear. “Sure.”
You poke his chest as you make your definitive guess. “Three days of the condor!”
His eye twitches when, amongst the myriads of films you’ve ever watched in your life, you quote the one with the CIA involved. He has to flatten his face into something more neutral. Surely yours was a clear shot in the dark that somehow hit the right spot – even a broken clock is right, twice a day. Still, your blind guess doesn’t leave him any less distressed.
“Sorta.” He offers through gritted teeth.
And you don’t push any further, sluggishly resting your cheek on his belly.
"Were you more Robert Redford?” You mumble with half-closed eyes, "Or Faye Dunaway?”
Relief washes over him and he can’t help but huff. Plops a hand on top of your head and smooths down to the ends of your locks, rolling them between the pads of his fingers.
“Faye Dunaway, love.” He rumbles. “No question.”
You playfully tighten the hold around his waist, and with a tug, he's pulled down onto the bed. Simon knows he could easily win whichever battle if you’re the opponent, but he’ll always pretend to struggle just to humor you. He’s careful though, so he props himself on his forearms to avoid crushing you with his bulk. 
Gently, you kiss his nose but he doesn’t pull away, instead allowing the kiss to be reciprocated on your cheek. He reaches out for the switch next to the headboard and turns off the lights. 
Your eyes are the color of a summer’s night. 
They’re dark but twinkle with starlight. Pupils blown and the glowing halo of your irises around them like an eclipsed sun. The light coming from outside seems to favor you, creating shapes around your face able to turn you into a dream made reality.
“I’ll call in sick tomorrow.” You tell him, nose to nose. 
“Won't bother anyone, will it?” He asks mindfully, although he cares very little if your co-workers might get a little miffed about your last-minute call.
You shake your head softly, causing your noses to brush. “Nope, they’ll understand.”
And so, he unfolds, rolling onto his back and taking you with him. Your head is guided by a big hand to rest on his chest. He fits you perfectly into his side, making sure every piece of you adheres like glue to his skin.
“Y’need a shower?” You murmur in his skin, eyes fluttering closed. Your fingers are tracing mindless patterns on his chest, skimming over hair and the odd scar here and there.
“Tomorrow,” he replies quietly. “Sleep now.”
“Alright,” you whisper. “Wake me up when you do, yeah?”
“Sure.” He says, looking down at the top of your head. He leaves a kiss in its ruffled mess.
“G’night, love.” He breathes. 
You murmur it back, and fall into your slumber.
────────────
Simon opens his eyes with his heart thundering in his chest. He doesn’t know why, and likely pegs it to mere habit. Three months stuck in hypervigilance will have your body unconsciously overreact at the most subtle of changes, even if there are none.
There’s too much light in the room for it to be night, and a single look at the window tells him the sun is just shy of rising. 
During the night, you must’ve moved around and he must have followed you, because now he has your back to his chest. An arm slung around your waist, the other tucked beneath your neck. 
He gently tugs the duvet a little higher, over your shoulder, and spends the next few minutes just looking at how peaceful you look.
Next to a killer. 
His stomach churns wildly. 
You’re home,  his heart says. You’re not a killer here. 
A shame, truly, that his brain doesn’t agree in the slightest. Two organs fighting like separate entities, and the whole brawl is happening inside of him, mercilessly tearing his flesh apart. 
But it’s already broken, isn’t it? What else is there to shred. 
Yet he’s home and you’re comfortable next to him. So how broken can he be, really?
Torn. Shredded. Lookin’ like you went through the grinder and barely came out of it alive. 
He forces his eyes shut and buries his face in your hair, nuzzling your nape. 
Pretty thing, she is. Who the fuck d’you think you are, mh? 
A sharp inhale. Breathing you in. You smell sweet enough for the sounds in his head to buzz out. Not silent yet, but quiet enough for him to have a breather.
You don’t know how long it takes for his body to expel the exorbitant amount of adrenaline produced in three months of deployment. How his back cracks when it hits the comfortable mattress of yours and his bedroom, after having spent way too much time packed like a sardine on sordid cots or much-too-small sleeping bags.
How he fucking hates it, when you feel so soft and untouched, while he has more scars than bloody years on his back. 
Not right. Ain’t fucking right to you. 
His hand snakes from your waist to follow the curve of your arm. He follows the bulge it makes under the comforter. The rain has turned into a light drizzle, allowing the sound of his skin brushing over yours and the shuffle of the blanket to echo in his ears.
He scoots impossibly closer, pressing your back against his chest hoping your skin would mold with his. Nose buried in the crook of your shoulder; kisses light as breeze following the length of it. 
You smell so good you disarm him. He sighs as if he’s been utterly defeated, lost a battle he didn’t even know he was fighting. 
His mind hushes, finally. His heart unwinds itself – springs let loose, pulse calm. 
There’s you. The way your breaths come. Your limbs stirring at the gooseflesh left by his kisses. The rising sun lapping at your skin. The rise and fall of your back. 
It’s calm.
Your head turns slightly, looking over your shoulder. You must only see his eyes, lazily glancing at you through pale lashes.
Yours are a dawning sun.
They’re soft and gentle, pale yellows and blues, peeking above the sheer horizon of sleep you’re trying to overcome. Idle, slow, but most welcome.
“Hey,” you croak, blinking the drowsiness away. “You okay?”
He hums a quiet yeah in your skin. Hasn’t even noticed his hand returning to your stomach and pulling you in, angling you against his lap. 
And fuck him, but he’s sporting the hard-on of a lifetime. 
He knows you’ll understand that he’s been deprived of such pleasures for three months, but it doesn’t make him any less embarrassed. A hand in his pants, while he hid somewhere more private in the middle of nowhere was a temporary fix that fixed very fucking little. Especially not after having been spoiled by you.
Simon doesn’t necessarily want to fuck you, now. Sure, his dick might have a head of its own, and he wouldn’t complain against it were it to happen, but he still has control of his actions. And now he just wants to feel you, whether inside or out doesn’t matter – as long as it’s you.
Nevertheless, he isn’t expecting you to have much different plans. Naturally, he isn’t going to protest.
Your ass tentatively presses against his length, the satin of your shorts sliding easily along the cotton of his boxers. You’re still so sleepy – he sees you digging a knuckle in your eye, nostrils flaring as you let out a big yawn. 
Were you aware of what you were doing, or were you being a goddamn minx?
“Well, good mornin’,” you murmur, a lick of a smile on your lips. “Brought me a souvenir from bumfuck nowhere?”
Minx it is. 
He snuffs out a chuckle by harshly pressing his lips against your shoulder, sewing his lips shut. Unfortunately, his chest rumbles against your back and you catch it before he manages to catch himself. 
Your hand goes to rest above his own on your stomach, fingers intertwining. 
Soft skin on both sides: palm to your belly, knuckles to your hand. He’s sandwiched in bliss. Three months away, barely any contact, and all he apparently needed to alleviate some wounds was just a handful of hours spent asleep in your presence.
His lips part slightly. Kisses turn wetter and teeth bite at your neck, his tongue darting out to subsequently soothe the ache. Your hand has already guided his own to your breast, and your mouth is breathing sounds he’s missed.
And he tells you, because why should he hide a thing from you.
“Missed ya,” he croaks, voice a little shaky for reasons unknown. He could look in his head (or his heart) and find them – surely, they’re there. But he figures the present feels much better than the jumbled mess inside.
Reasons can wait.
“Let me feel you, yeah?” 
Your head bending backward to his face is the answer you give him, back pressed flush against his chest. You guide his hand up and squeeze it around the fat of your breast to assert your approval. 
But he’s not satisfied with that. Needs your voice to tell him it’s alright, that you’re not under some sleep-induced spell. That you’re fine with having him feel you, and you’re not just offering yourself because he’s been away for so long and you want to give him some sort of reward.
Simply, that you want him as much as he wants you.
His voice is raspy and low, “Words, love.”
"Please," you whisper and vigorously grind your ass against his groin. “Touch me.”
He hisses and presses forward too, meeting your movements. 
He’s still a little out of it, senses overrun by the general fatigue clinging to his muscles as the aftermath of deployment, his bones weary and getting accustomed once more to the comfort of a bed instead of a cot. 
Mind absolutely quiet.
He flicks his thumb over your nipple. Rolls it between thumb and forefinger. Your shuddering breath prompts him to pull at it, and it causes you to arch your back off of him, pressing further against his painfully hard cock. 
He grunts against your shoulder, hand busy teasing your breasts and hips rutting against the plump flesh of your ass. You grind back against him, working in tandem to relieve at least some of that ache. 
Each movement is a languid stroke of fabric that gives him enough pleasure to cause his resolve to falter. When he turns your head sideways, leaving your tits to grasp your jaw, he loses it. Your flushed cheeks, lower lip trapped between your teeth, the whites of your eyes still a little red from sleep.
Lips on lips, slotting together like magnets. 
Too long. 
Too damn long. 
Sure, he kissed you when he came back, a bunch of hours before. But this is a whole other thing. The connection behind it, the pinch of your brows conveying the same desperation he has. Hands grabbing at flesh, bodies grinding against each other. Tongues dancing privately. Eyes closed to shut the world out. Moans and pants, dotted with the occasional curse slipping from his lips when the length of his cock catches the cleft of your ass.
His palm slides down and crosses the threshold marked by your shorts. He’s awfully delighted to find out you have nothing underneath them. Feels blessed when his middle finger slides down your cunt to find it impossibly wet. 
“Oh - Simon,” He hears you whimper, and he almost comes in his briefs then and there because he has no right to hear you say his sullied name with such devotion behind it. 
Seemingly feeling the need to respond in kind, your arm blindly reaches behind, and you slip it between your butt and his groin. Your hand is soft as it palms his cock, the cotton of his boxers an annoying barrier. 
The tip is leaking tremendously, and he should be embarrassed about the obvious wet spot he must be sporting on his briefs. However, he can’t even manage to concoct the thought that your fingers are already fumbling with the elastic band of his underwear and finding their way in.
Simon shudders when your warm hand curls around his shaft. 
You glide your hand up, collecting precum on your palm, before sliding back down again – velvet skin being pulled over the head to steer clear of overstimulation, and then down once more. Similarly, he crooks his finger to gather your wetness and uses it to roll idle circles around your clit. 
And it goes on, and on, and on, and on. It’s slow and drawn out, both of you wanting to reach that high but at the same time don’t – cutting off pleasure doesn’t seem fitting, when both of you have been starved of one another.
He bends the arm beneath your neck to pull your head back, next to his own, cheek to cheek. Simon’s hips jerk to blatantly fuck your fist, yours flow with the movement of his fingers circling your clit, stroking yourself against his hand.
He starts getting antsy, however, when he notices that he can’t properly reach you. Can’t have you unravel on his fingers like he’s done so many times before. Simon wants – needs – to see you unfold and squirm under the pressure of his hand. Needs to have you cream on his fingers – as simple as it’s primal.
He murmurs against the shell of your ear, “Need to stretch you out, love.”
And – goddamn you, you whine. Your hand doesn’t stop its languid movements, but it further slows down, as if you needed all of yourself to cooperate and form a single thought.
“Jus’ do it, I missed you.” You whimper, breathy and high-pitched. “Won’t hurt much, I promise.”
Simon sucks in a sharp breath, closing his eyes because your voice has gone straight to his cock and he needs to disassociate for a second to recollect himself.
You’re a temptress, even in your loving, tender desperation. And how sweet it is to know that he isn’t the only one craving those intimate touches he can only give you. You’ve had your fair share of relationships and lovers, but has he? Some quick ones, enough to get rid of natural aches. Definitely not with a connection so deeply ingrained. 
And he tastes, then, the beauty of mutuality. Of giving and receiving. 
He retreats his hand and prompts you to do the same. Helps you take off your shorts and pulls his cock out of his underwear. He holds you still with one arm around your waist, palm flat against your lower belly to angle you better. 
Gingerly, he guides the tip to your slit, dragging it upward until it catches your clit and you hiss, and then down to your hole. Back and forth, happily realizing that he has, in fact, made you wet enough to make it hurt less. And while he tends to be open to many requests made under the bedsheets, anything that causes you pain is a huge, firm no in his book. 
Which is why he’s a bit hesitant now, pressing chaste kisses against your shoulder, trying to soften the ache that will inevitably come. A juxtaposition, really, to his cock dragging a raw, slow dance down your cunt.
It’s then that you turn your head in the pillow to groan against the fabric, and your legs clamp together and essentially choke him between the plush of your thighs.
The sensation is initially a sharp jolt that makes him spout a series of curses under his breath. But then the glisten of your cunt mixed with the precum you’ve diligently smeared all over him, with your folds and your plump thighs wrapped around him in a warm, wet hug – he sees the appeal. 
And thrusts. Shamelessly – once, twice, thrice. Snapping harshly, only to draw back slowly. Grunting to your skin. Chest vibrating against your back.
“F – fuck,” he manages to choke out, wringing his eyes closed to regain some control over his actions and failing spectacularly.
Your moans don’t help. They perfectly align with the slap of his hips against your ass, with the wet noises of your sodden cunt against his cock. It’s as filthy as it’s fucking wonderful, and he’s terribly afraid he’ll finish before he can even fit the head inside of you. 
The grip he has around your waist only tightens, leaving you breathless by the second. Simon has his mouth next to your ear, giving you the privilege of hearing even the smallest breaths he exhales. 
“You’re so fuckin’ soft,” he whispers, panting from the effort. 
Curiously, he takes a peek over your shoulder as he fucks your thighs, catching the flushed head of his cock stroking your clit and appearing each time he thrusts in. It’s fucking debauched and he loves it to bits. So much that he groans and rolls his eyes, struggling not to paint your thighs with his spend.
“Need to fuck you,” he hurries, choking on the words. “Now, love.”
Rapidly (and reluctantly), he pulls out of the pillowy, snug space your thighs had inadvertently created for him, almost hissing when the cold air hits the sensitive skin of his cock, coated in yours and his arousal. 
“On your back, swee’heart,” he gently guides you down, adding a brisk yet tender “C’mon.”
And you comply, feeling almost like a ragdoll in his hands. Lips parted and slick as they form small Yes’s to convey the same ache he feels. It takes him less than a breath to place his mouth over yours again. 
As he hovers above you, thick arms on each side of your head and chapped lips crashing against your own, he slots his hips between your legs. The softer flesh of the inside of your thighs is still wet from when he’s buried his cock between them. He feels the fluids stick to the skin of his hips.
Taking his time, he lets a hand wander down your chest, flowing to your belly until his fingers reach your core – where you’re wet, and warm, and still pressing up against his cock, searching for friction.
He plunges a finger inside, making the movement of your hips stutter and your mouth gasp at the sudden intrusion.
“Gotta stretch you out," he repeats languidly, because he cannot - for the life of him - put words into sentences without thinking about the structure beforehand.
He’s aware he’s big. It used to chub up his ego when he was younger and brash, but now he can’t be arsed about it. Big or small, he’s learned that it’s how you use it – and to be frank, he hasn’t used it much before you.
But he knows it’s going to hurt if he just puts it in with little to no preparation. He hasn’t seen you in three months, and you can trust him when he says he’s as ravenous as you are and can’t bloody wait to be inside you where he’s warm and blessed – but causing you pain? When it can be avoided so easily (and he can make it feel good, too)?
Absolutely not. Categorical. 
He wants you to indulge in the blissful touches and the highs he can bring. Needs you to associate him to kindness and soft breaths and how much he hungers for you – he'll gladly eat you up, but only if you say so. 
“’S not gonna hurt,” you mumble again, sounding a little drunk in the effort to convince him. “Please.”
Your eyes flutter to him, and they’re this dark pool he can’t seem to navigate. Lust overflowing like fat, miry tears that can’t fit in the space of your sockets, and then something even darker – longing. You’re looking at him as if it's the first time you’re seeing him.
He gets it, then, how good you’ve been at hiding it so he wouldn’t hurt at the thought of hurting you. He must've unconsciously taught you a thing or two, by wearing stoicism, neutrality, and more tangible skull masks. 
You’ve missed him body and soul. 
You’re there, eyes heavy and full, begging for him to come back to you. 
How long have you been waiting for me like this? 
“Oh, love,”  he breathes and kisses you again.
A long finger inside, pushing against the place he knows makes your eyes water.
“M’sorry,” he whispers, thumb steadfast on your clit, as if he could apologize just by using his fingers because words tend to fail him when he needs them the most.
And so, he slides in his ring finger too, feeling the momentarily tight fit and the subsequent way you relax to welcome him. Your lips part to sharply breathe in, eyes scrunching close at the stretch. He can feel your hands stiffen against his back until they travel up his spine and tangle through shorn blond hair. 
You’re keeping him close, with your forehead pressed to his almost to the point of pain. Your noses are in the way of the onslaught you’re causing on his mouth. Strained, heavy pants brush his lips when you part from him to breathe, before lavishing him with attention again.
You’re always good with words. You always know what to say, and yet you’re being extremely quiet – it worries him more than the look you have in your eyes. 
“M’sorry.”
For being away. 
For not telling you where I was. 
For leaving you to wonder whether I’d come back, or not. 
For not calling. 
I’m sorry. 
“M’so sorry.”
My girl.  
His hand cradles the back of your head as if he could get you any closer, and he fucks you with his fingers.
“Don’t be,” you reply, your voice so faint and lost in the sounds of your bodies he has to perk his ears for it. “You’re home.”
My sweet, sweet girl. 
And he buries his face in your neck, leaving wanton kisses that have very little erotic power to them. He’s just trying to taste you, really. Trying to commit you to memory again, conveying fierce apologies to your skin. 
He can feel you clench around him, almost sucking him in, each time his fingers reach deep.
“Fuck, need to see you come.” He murmurs to the skin of your neck.
Thumb aching, he replaces it with the heel of his hand. A continuous and tortuous curl of his fingers inside of you, palm cupping your cunt and rolling against your clit. His cock aches when you whimper and stifle it by biting into his shoulder. A sharp exhale. Skin sweaty and pressed against his chest. Hands tugging at his hair. 
“Don’t-” You croak. “Just- just fuck me, Si.”
He groans because stop being stubborn, will ya?
“I’ll cum the moment I get in, swee’heart.” He tries to reason and almost loses it at the raunchy, squelching sounds caused by his fingers between your legs. "Lemme take care of you before tha'."
But it's like talking to a wall.
"'s fine, love. I don't care, yeah?" Your hips move against his hand, but at this point, he gathers it's just a natural body response to pleasure. “You’ll take care of me tomorrow, and the days after that.”
Just when he’s about to rebut, you sandwich an arm between your bodies and curl soft fingers around his cock. The simple act makes him stop his motions, and he feels you pulse and clench around his fingers.
“Please.” You whisper, voice like silk. 
He crumbles, then, at the sight of your eyes. Watery and glossy and wide – lust a long-forgotten thing. 
He nods briefly when he surrenders. A jerky movement of his jaw as he swallows thickly. Doesn’t dare to avert his gaze from yours when he retrieves his hand and loves to catch how your brows pinch at the sudden emptiness inside. Sloppily, he coats his stiff cock with your wetness with a few weak pumps.
His eyes stay on you, as he goes in blindly, guided by touch only, and drives the tip to your hole. Tries to gauge your thoughts by the expressions on your face, and fails miserably, for once, at keeping his own concealed.
Barely aware and in control of what his face is conveying, he gathers you must appreciate it because you shift your palms to cradle his cheeks. He doesn’t know why you do it because there’s nothing on this godforsaken planet that could make his attention swerve to any thoughts but how beautiful you look when your lips stroke his own with featherlight pressure.
And he slides in, comfortably easy. Feels your puffy lips stretch to welcome him whole, inch by inch. Piece by piece of him, in every way you want to interpret it. 
His jaw is locked tight because as soon as your walls envelop the head of his cock, he already feels himself shutting down. His eyes close – he can’t afford to look at how you morph for him. How your pussy swallows the first inches of his cock, puffy clit begging to be touched and lavished. How your mouth parts against his own to yield soft moans and breathy whispers that encourage him to please, please, please go deeper. 
He can’t. Stubbornly thinking he must last long enough to give you some pleasure or it will all be worthless. And so, it’s a repetitive dance: an inch in, and a full pull out. Stop. Another inch, and pull out. 
It’s driving him fucking mental.
“Let go,” you say, tearing his head out of the gutter. “Look at me, and let go.”
He can’t exactly decide whether you’re being the devil on his shoulder, or an angel sent from heaven – either way, the aim is to ruin him. Yet it doesn’t matter when he opens his eyes, and you look so beautiful his heart cracks, with a thin layer of sweat on your brow and the sheen of his spit on bitten lips. 
You don't have to tell him twice at this point, because the way your hands force his face steady so he keeps his eyes on you does most of the trick. His resolve crumbles at breakneck speed.
He bottoms out, pushing his pelvis flush against yours. Your eyes roll back at the same time, legs going stiff and tight around his hips. He does a tentative roll that causes the coarse hair on his groin to press against your bundle of nerves.
"Fuck," you breathe, your voice cracking at the edges. He echoes it right after you, or at the same time – he's not sure, but in his defense, he's not confident about a single thing right now.
If not how absurdly scorching you are, all wrapped around him.
With that, he hooks one arm around your waist and tucks his other hand behind your head. He holds you close like you might slip away, and he’s sure as hell not taking any chances.
He fucks you slowly, deep thrusts that fill you up all the way, and greedy love bites on your neck. Open-mouthed kisses at your throat, sliding up to your jaw and cheeks, all the way to your lips. Truthfully, he’s both trying to get his senses chock full of you, and keep his mouth shut so no words spoken while in ecstasy escape.
The slap of his hips against yours drowns the taps of the morning drizzle against the windowpane. He’s got your face buried in the crook of his neck, and your pants echo in his ears like a fucking promise that threatens to unravel him.
Each thrust has him fully sheathed inside of you. It fills him with primal pride and fuels his pleasure, because you take him so fucking well he can't help but think he's modeled you in his perfect image. He grunts against you and tugs at your hair out of sheer desperation to hold on – just a little longer.
But you’re swearing in his ear. Breathless fuck’s whispered like a curse and a vow at the same time. You shift your hips to change the angle and that makes him hit even deeper and he swears he hears you whimper in that telltale way he knows well.
He lifts your hips up and hooks your legs over his shoulders.
And he absolutely rams into you.
“Christ I missed you.” He rumbles and his voice cracks while your moans rise in pitch and your nails scratch his back. “Fuckin’ thought of you," Thrust. "Every bleedin’ day.”
He’s rambling now, intoxicated on the feeling of you. His words are slurred and strained and, deep down, there’s a more sober version of Simon Riley cursing at himself for speaking his heart out.
Luckily, it’s drowned by the slap of flesh against flesh and the wet sounds of your cunt milking him dry. 
Finally, he thinks, he's using his strength not to wield a heavy M4 or to ram against hostiles, but to fuck you on his cock – knee-deep in the mattress for leverage.
He lets go, like you asked.
He murmurs in your ear (Fuckin’ beautiful), words alternated with heavy pants (An’ all mine) and the animalistic grunts of a man cocooned in bliss (All fuckin’ mine).
His hips stutter and he knows he’s close, but you’re not even nearby, in spite of how he can feel you clench around him, sucking him in. And God, the guilt that fills him almost makes him stop even if he has that sweet, sweet release just around the bend.
But you won’t have that, naturally. 
Your fingers thread through his hair, clammy and sticking out weirdly because he’s sweaty and hot. He feels his head being shifted to the side, so you can look into his eyes.
And oh, how can you look at him like that? How is he even deserving of it – fuck you and your relentless ways to crawl under his skin and make him feel like he’s worth a damn, with your eyes glossy and hooded. A thick veil of admiration, fondness, and you. 
You, you, you. 
Where have you been all his life, with this color in your eyes?
“Come inside.” You plead tenderly, breathless and raspy, as he pounds you into your own bed. Your fingers smooth back rogue strands that are sticking to his forehead. “Please come inside.”
And you crush his mouth to yours in a searing kiss. One that marks his demise. He’s falling hard into your embrace, figuratively and literally, too.
He uses whatever shreds of strength he has left to ram into you as if his life depended on it, punching gasp after heaving gasp out of your beautiful lips into his hungry mouth.
It works like a spell because he feels the familiar pressure building at the base of his cock. Syrupy hot warmth runs down his legs to the tips of his toes. Tingling. Tightening. Burning so good he thinks he's melting within you.
Suddenly, his head spins, and he groans in your parted lips as he ruts into you one last time – until he has you filled to the brim. His eyes slam shut as he spills inside of you – cock pulsating and hot. 
His high takes its sweet time, canceling out all background noises and only leaving your sweet breaths to fill in his ears, and the pounding of his heart. 
Simon unceremoniously drops on you like dead weight, allowing your legs to return around his waist. His lips slide off yours until his head is tucked in the crook of your neck. He’s absolutely spent, but there isn’t enough fatigue in this world that could keep him away from you. You’re sweaty and he’s worse, but he doesn’t see why, in the haze of his orgasm, he shouldn’t have his lips reach every inch of skin he can.
His kisses are lazy – a stark contrast from the desperation he’s displayed until now. 
He feels safe. He feels at home, still buried deep inside of you, feeling the come that couldn’t fit inside ooze out and onto the bedsheets. A bummer to clean, he’ll realize when he’ll get his sanity back.
And he wants to tell you so many things when he feels your hands skimming down his back in a soothing dance. Wants to tell you how you’ve flipped his life, with the ease of tossing a coin – heads and tails. Opposites so striking you should be deemed a witch. 
He was in deep fucking shit before you offered your smile. Inching closer and closer to dead-ended alleys and dark, murky thoughts that could only lead to dreadful places.
You gave him something to yearn for, something to miss when he's away, and something to cherish when he's here. 
There’s nothing he can do to return the favor but love you in equal measure. 
It’s not the first time the word love has come up in his head when his mind was lost in memories of you. And while he’d rather not dwell on it now, while you hold him to your chest as he comes back to his senses, he knows the time will eventually come.
Yet he doesn’t dread it. Not one bit.
Fear pocket sewn shut. Finally. 
He lifts his head to look up at you and finds you doing the same – he’s sure he’s thoroughly fucked in the best way imaginable. 
“I’ll take care of everything later,” you say, reading his thoughts. “You okay?”
It takes him a while to respond. Mental gymnastics to reawaken the parts of his brain that are still tingling in the afterglow. 
“Never better, love.” 
“Sleep?” You offer, as if he isn’t still buried inside of you and effectively crushing you under his weight. 
You don’t seem to mind, and so he trusts you and doesn’t either.
His eyes are half closed as he slides down to rest his head in the valley of your breasts. "Y' didn't cum," he mumbles, leaving an open mouthed kiss on the fat of your tits.
Your fingers brush through his hair to keep him close, and when your nails scrape at his scalp he feels gooseflesh rise along his arms. 
"'S fine," you whisper gently, and he's struck by the earnestness in your tone. But then you quip, "I'll have ya on your knees tomorrow."
And he scoffs. "Makin' it sound like a punishment."
You purse your lips and land a kiss on the crown of his head. "Then stop complaining."
He grunts something he himself can't even discern. 
“Y’need to piss first.” He grumbles mindlessly, as if the thought of you standing up annoys him but he knows a UTI is even more aggravating.
You snort. “Charming."
And he responds in kind. "Chivalry's dead anyway."
There's a few seconds of silence only broken by your quiet chuckle. "I’ll wait for you to fall asleep, then ‘m off to the loo. Deal?”
He grunts in agreement, liking the compromise you’re offering. “Deal.” 
And his head stays quiet. Sleazy hands and raging voices cease, silenced under the thunder of your heartbeat.
“I missed you.” He thinks he hears you whisper, your voice thick and wet. He closes his eyes with his head on your chest. “’M so happy you’re home.”
────────────
Simon wakes up with shy sunbeams peeking through the blinds and brushing his brow. You must’ve closed them when you woke up, to shield him from the sun.
He blinks idly, momentarily lost in that phase between sleep and waking life, still unsure of where he is. His mouth is pasty, and his eyes struggle against sunlight. The duvet is up to his chin, and it smells of grapefruit-scented softener, and of you. The pillow is a little wet, and he embarrassingly notices that it’s because he’s drooled on it – he smacks his lips once, twice, but his tongue might as well be a dried-up cinderblock.
It has been a long time since he’s slept like this. Since his mind has shut down and left him alone. Since his night has gone smoothly, sleep comatose and dreamless – nightmare-less.
And you’re not there, but that’s okay.
Because he hears your music from the kitchen, kept at a low volume so you won’t wake him up. The clanking of utensils frames the beat, pans and pots being moved around as you hum to yourself following the melody. The smell of eggs, sausages, potatoes, and fresh veggies – a full English. Wafts of that disgusting coffee you drink in the morning intertwined with the softer notes of the tea you’re brewing for him.
You were right: he is home.
And he can’t see your eyes, but that’s okay too.
He guesses he’ll never remember their exact shade, Simon’s fine with it. No better thing than to discover you once more, each time he gets to come home.
They change with you, following the flow of whatever you allow to show, and of what he’s learned to read. They’re the color of that life he’s unwittingly always looked for. That life promising a pocket of peace for himself. Chock full of love and nice things he’s always been deprived of.
A balm to both his ancient and newest wounds.
He has never shared a single story about his past, never told you why his body is like a tattered book whose tale is as horrific as it looks. But you don’t mind, and he doesn’t know why because he’s firmly set on the idea that you must know someone inside out to be sure you care.
And it’s then that it hits him, that you do know him – better than anyone. You know the man he is. You want the man he is now, the man he will be one day – as mental as it sounds to him. His present, and his future. And sure, his past might have made this man you know, but he’s not the same Simon under his father's thumb or the one felled by Roba’s tortures.
Although he’s not sure he can reopen certain sutures without the wounds bleeding all over the floor, he'll try. He’ll clean up, if he must, knowing that you’ll help him have each injury scab over again. 
What baffles him is that you’re not saying he has to. You’re saying he can. And this choice you’re giving him is a privilege he’s never had the chance to bear.
He can tell you everything, and you’ll listen. He can keep it to himself, and you’ll stay, accepting that there will be places of him you’ll never venture – and to you, that is fine.
As long as he stays, too.
There are no words he can use to express his gratitude. He can only love you – and it might take him a while to acknowledge that he’s capable, but he already does love you.
You appear at the door as he’s lost in his own head, still tucked under the duvet. Strips of sunlight cross your form, curving around the beautiful shape of you.
“Good morning, you.” You say, with a smile that reminds him of the sun.
Lazily, he offers one of his own to you. It’s lopsided and he thinks not quite as beautiful. 
He hopes you forgive him for it: takes practice to be happy, and he’s still learning.
And so, he smiles, and looks at you like you're the most tangible form of joy he's ever witnessed. 
His voice is raspy from sleep, and soft from you.
“Mornin’, love.”
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base0h · 6 months ago
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HOW HAIKYUU CHARACTERS WOULD REACT TO YOU COMPLIMENTING ANOTHER PLAYER
a/n - I’m alive I swear 💀 I just rewatched some of haikyuu so I’m more familiar with that rn 😂😂
warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, fluff/crack, pre-timeskip characters btw, I don’t feel like making picture banners for all of them like I do with one piece forgive me for just putting text 🥲
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HINATA
- yeah you just broke your bro’s heart into a billion pieces
- remember that time when he got nailed in the crotch by a ball in S4? Yeah that’s what it felt like
- “Isn’t he so cool Hinata?!” -you
- but he’s also torn because he also thinks they’re awesome af 😭 so he can’t decide if he’s more saddened by the fact that you’re not saying that about him or if he’s excited that you also like one of his idols
- “…Yes he’s— very cool.” -hinata
- “…You do know my fav player’s always gonna be you though right?”
- oh you don’t even KNOW. How happy you just made him. You just turned his life around with just a single sentence
- bro could burst through the ceiling now
- he basically smothered you with a hug after that and did one of those koala hugs where he was basically just clinging onto you with pure adoration and affection
- it’s one thing if some random other student or little kid came up to him saying he was cool— like don’t get me wrong he’d probably freak out in a good way about that too
- but when it comes from you? He could have all haters but if he still had you? He’s totally fine. All bro needs is your support
- but do be careful because he might actually suffocate you one day if you compliment him too much
- each time you say something good about him his hugs get stronger?? If that’s even possible idk 😭
- you’ll have a great free chiropractor tho so woo hoo😁👍
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GOSHIKI
- bro has a thing for getting compliments or getting praise. I saw it VERY clearly when Hinata gave him that compliment about his spikes during the shiratorizawa training camp
- and then when Tendo said his bangs were cool bro was so happy 😭 (he’s so sweet oml)
- but of course when you watch his matches— I mean— you’re gonna be impressed by ushijima
- who wouldn’t be? Bros a literal nuclear bomb ahh spiker 💀
- after one of his matches you went up to him and started talking about ushijima and how cool his spikes and serves were
- “I feel like he’s gonna literally pop the ball everytime he hits it! It’s awesome!” -you
- he agrees wholeheartedly with you! But— man. He wanted you to say that about him 😭
- “Yeah— he’s amazing right..?” -him
- “He’s a third year right?”
- Goshiki nodded and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, looking a bit down
- “Oh so he’s just clearing the way for you then! There can only be one ace so he’s gotta move out of the way for you.”
(I couldn’t find the proper meme to put here so here’s the actual screenshot of him)
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- bro could ascend
- he could die right then and there
- but then he remembered he has to show off for you still so he stayed on earth
- ushijima heard you say that btw
- it looked like he wanted to murder you but in reality he thought it was very nice of you to say that to lift goshiki’s spirits
- he just— looks like he wants to crush you and send you to mars 💀
- also Tendo makes fun of him for being so happy about being praised
- “HAHAHAHAH— you LOVE it when y/n ever tells you something positive about you huh~??” -tendo
- yeah no he’s not gonna leave your poor bowl cut boy alone about it now
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BOKUTO
- like the other two, he’s big on praise
- I mean before every match the manager tells him someone in the audience said he looks cool so he plays better 😭😭
- having you supporting him at his matches is like having an entire stadium full of people cheering his name
- you make Akaashi’s life less stressful. Good job y/n, Akaashi loves you for that and will legit pay you money to keep coming even though he knows he doesn’t have to. He’s that grateful for you
- I ain’t kidding one time Akaashi just started tearing up thanking you for being his fail safe plan if his 2000000 other plans to get Bokuto out of his emo mode don’t work
- he knows just like one compliment from you will cure Bokuto
- yeah so guess what you had to go and say right before a match started?
- “I just saw itachiyama play and wow that Sakusa guy who’s one of the top 3 spikers was just as good as they said he was!” -you
- akaashi might just do a backflip off of the stadium roof at this point 🙂 hardcore parkour
- the way you could literally see Bokuto’s hair droop down is insane
- konoha and sarukui were like: holy shit we’re absolutely cooked 😀
- this wasn’t an emo mode this was an avant garde mode
- but right as Akaashi was about to seriously jump off the roof, you saved everyone from the disaster you created
- “I don’t know why you’re not in the top three though, imo you’re a lot better than that guy, and a lot cooler looking too.”
- Akaashi looked like he was gonna live again
- Bokuto’s hair flipped back upwards and he excitedly smiled at you, giving you a big hug before going onto the court with an ecstatic air about him
- Akaashi is genuinely terrified of how you can simultaneously destroy their team and bring it back together with singular sentences
- you’re Bokuto’s weakness number 38 which akaashi does not have a solution for 💀
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AKAASHI
- Akaashi is honestly happy you’re just with him
- he doesn’t really mind it if you can’t come to see him play, of course he’d love for you to be there but he totally understands if you can’t, and won’t be destroyed about it
- he loves your support and will always appreciate you for cheering him on (and being his mental support because taking care of Bokuto is life draining and he probably gets about a month taken off of his life everytime Bokuto goes into his emo mode)
- during the match with nekoma, you noticed how the setter on their team was also quite an intelligent and skilled player despite seeming so bored and uninterested in the sport entirely
- he had a hold on Bokuto for a good while and it was impressive how he managed to put Bokuto in a slump so smoothly and discreetly
- after the match, you congratulated fukurodani on their victory, and akaashi thanked you for coming like the gentleman bro is
- “That setter on nekoma was really good— he was so calculating and calm about his strategy to make Bokuto go into a slump!” -you
- Akaashi was still a bit traumatized by Bokuto literally forgetting how to do cross shots entirely so uh— 😀
- yeah it didn’t really sound great to him
- bro had to pull out a whole ass speech plus hinata to get Bokuto back on his feet and then you say that 🥲
- he isn’t mad or anything but he isn’t very overjoyed either
- “Yes, he was a really tough opponent. Kuroo-san was too.” -Akaashi
- Akaashi was good at hiding his displeasure, so it just sounded like he was saying something normal like he usually would, in a straight steady tone
- “No match for you and the team though, you guys definitely deserved the win. And you actually look interested and not like you want to die on the court unlike that setter on nekoma— he looked like he wanted to collapse and sleep forever after the first set.”
- he wasn’t expecting you to say that, and he looked pleasantly surprised
- Bokuto grinned and put his arm around the setter
- “Y/n’s right as always, Kenma’s no match for akaashi!” -Bokuto
- the rest of the team wholeheartedly agreed, and akaashi felt glad, happy to know that his team, and especially you thought so highly of him
- no one else could handle Bokuto like he could, and no one could be as cool in your eyes as he was
- you could probably tell him his glasses looked nice and he would never take them off again—
- he’s the type of guy to listen to whatever you say a bit too much sometimes 😭
- he legit remembers the outfit you wore the day he first met you
- kinda creepy but sweet ig? 🤷
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OIKAWA
- bro has a billion fans and only really cares abt you cheering him on
- like ofc he needs other people to be cheering him on too because he’s extra like that but it’s 80% you
- don’t ask abt the 20%
- yk how all those girls were asking for his picture and stuff? Ever since he got together with you, he’s been avoiding them a lot more
- he knows it’s probably especially annoying for you to see a bunch of random people asking your boyfriend for pictures and giving him handmade things
- just know that he thinks you’re better than any girl combined and if you ever like start walking away before he’s finished trying to get the girls away from him he will legit sprint after you while screaming
- “Y/N-CHAN WAAAAAAAAAIT!!!”
- my dude is running, and I mean running like a mf track star. You piss off his fangirls so much bro it’s so funny how they look at you like they want to poison you in your sleep💀💀💀
- he reassures you on the daily that you’re beautiful and amazing, but still it’s annoying to see all the girls fawn over him
- so you decided to give him a similar taste of his own medicine
- at the next matches, you were watching with him a match with karasuno and shiratorizawa. You know VERY well that he does not like karasuno or shiratorizawa
- ushijima is probably the one who’s the worst…
- perfect.
- “Whoa Ushijima’s serves are so cool!! And he uses his left hand too damn that’s unique! I’ve never seen a left handed player like him before, and those spikes look like they’re about to tear karasuno’s blocker’s arms off!” -you
- I don’t think he’s ever been more simultaneously heart broken, and pissed at ushijima at the same time before
- he’s such a baby about it too
- he’ll cross his arms and act like he doesn’t care when obviously he does, and with the way he’s pouting about it like a little kid was proof that your little plan worked very well
- “Hmph, I guess so.” -him
- “What, you salty since you lost?” -you
- “Would you mind not rubbing salt in it? It’s only been like two days!”
- you couldn’t help but burst out into laughing because of how upset he was by this— it was ridiculous
- if you had your phone out you would’ve taken a picture of his face and sent it to iwaizumi for shits and giggles
- “I’m joking Oikawa, I think you’re much cooler than ushijima. You have a lot more personality than him.” -you
- “That’s damn right I do!” -him
- “…I didn’t say a good personality or anything.”
- “Pardon me?! I’m very demure and cute thank you very much.”
- “You saying that just proves you’re anything but that.”
- “Y/N BE NICE TO ME :(“
- “No. :)”
- “I knew I shouldn’t have let you hang out with Iwa-chan, he’s turned you against me!”
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KUROO
- you’re the carbon to his dioxide
- the hydrogen to his peroxide
- the deoxyribose to his phosphate group (I paid attention in science kuroo, yw)
- even if he doesn’t get to be interviewed by some reporter, and even if he doesn’t get to go to nationals
- if you’re there and supporting him he feels better
- talking to you and hearing you say how cool he plays is more than an interview could ever mean to him
- seriously you make him chemically insane
- like he does not understand how just being around you releases endorphins somehow (you’re magical)
- you had heard of their opponents nohebi from eavesdropping on a couple of random people’s conversations in the lobby
- they were a strong team, and you were intrigued by how a lot of people seemed to dislike them a lot for the way they played.. which was very underhanded
- but even with their underhanded tactics, they were a solid team with good technique and teamwork
- “Whoa the captain of nohebi is actually pretty good!” -you
- “Ugh I know right? Come on nekoma!” -Akane (Yamamoto’s little sister)
- I feel like kuroo has horrible eyesight but then absolutely amazing hearing? Idk 💀 but whatever the case was, he heard that
- loud and clear
- mhm he’s ready to kill nohebi now
- bro is legit a one man Great Wall of china now
- he’s “powered up” as Kenma would say
- Kenma took note that you were kuroo’s power up skill, and would remember to use you in the future as well
- I’m serious bro is flexing so hard on you rn 😭
- he is working double time, sweating, tryna channel his inner Bokuto
- yaku hasn’t needed to save the ball because kuroo’s trying so hard to impress you 💀
- honestly it’s kind of amazing— seeing him sprinting left and right and slamming balls down like it was no one’s business but his
- he checks like every five seconds to see if you’re watching his amazing skills
- and after the match— Kenma went up to you first and thanked you bc Kuroo did like 70% of the work for him 😭
- Kenma legit gave you a Nintendo gift card he’s had in his back pocket since 2019 as a thank you gift and as a “please continue making kuroo do all the work” gift
- god knows how it’s stayed in his pants that have probably been through countless wash cycles 💀
- “Oh kuroo! Fukunaga’s last spike was so cool! He totally hit that line shot perfectly!”
- way to stab kuroo in the back 🥲 he’s legit about to collapse from emotionally throwing out his back
- old man down over here
- he was so destroyed— you left no piece of him intact he’s in literal shambles
- “But kuroo you were so cool! You kept blocking and repelling the balls like you were oppositely charged from the ball!”
- and he’s alive again, you’re a magician
- complimenting him using a science reference?
- oh just marry him already 😭
- he knew you must just be dopamine bc he smiles like an idiot whenever you’re around
- somehow his smile gets even dorkier when you compliment him
- if it’s a science compliment he could quite literally ascend to the moon
- “Hehe thanks y/n.” -him
- “Were you tryna show off in the last set?” -you
- “…Why? Did it work?”
- “…Hm. Perhaps hypothetically, yes.”
- “How does one go about making that hypothesis a true statement? 😏”
- kuroo is so nerdy and his pickup lines are so bad that it just takes whatever smoothness he had (very little to start with btw) away 😭😭😭
- like pls when he first met you when yall were paired up to do a science project about magnetism— bro said
- “Even Neodymium would lose if it were to compete against your magnetic personality 😏🌹”
- “…What? 💀” -you
- you weren’t really sure if you should love bro for his effort or be scared of how bad his pickup lines were
- the answer is both
- it all ended up ok anyways— you’re bonded to him together since yall are oppositely charged ✌️
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a/n - no I don’t know how to make pickup lines 💀
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theyanderespecialist · 14 days ago
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Base Sapient Yandere Doey Headcanons: Goodness Turned Obsession (Poppy Playtime)
[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another Poppy Playtime Bae Yandere Headcanons. This one has to do with Base Yanere Headcanons of Doey. Remember, in My Poppy Playtime content, the toys are not made out of children but are Sapient monster toys! Thank you! Anyway I hope that you all enjoy this!] 
(Disclaimer: Doey in this was NOT made out of Children's Souls and instead is A Sapient toy Monster! He has his own soul and mind and is aware that he is alive and can make choices! There are NO Children's souls in him!  Disclaimer: Doey is not yandere in canon and this is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you!) 
-Base Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Doey X Gender Neutral Reader From Poppy Playtime- 
.Doey is a good man and monster he cares deeply about the people and toys in his life. 
.He fell for you right away and knew that you were the one for him he wanted to have a life with you and to be close to you. 
.He would be very sweet with you and would treat you almost like a co-parent to the other toys. 
.He has become sort of a leader with the safer toys and since you take care of them he trusts you to be there for them as well. 
.He is a very protective yandere and would see you as the person he has to protect the most. 
.He cannot risk you being hurt and this makes him a very worried wart yandere. 
.He tries not to smother you with his worry or fears but he cannot help it when the outside world is so dangerous. 
.When you leave work and leave him he misses you and longs for you to come back. 
.He cannot stand the thought of not being near you and being away from you. 
.He does lash out at staff if they mistreat you and he is a bit of a clingy yandere. 
.He does not mean to be clingy to you he just is because he does not want you hurt and you mean the world to him so he cannot and will not let you go. 
.He is a very affectionate yandere who would adore you and love to give you handmade gifts or cool stuff he finds and brings to you. 
.You have so many small knick-knacks in your employee locker it is not funny! 
.He loves to sit with you and dare say hold your hand! He is a very innocent yandere, so the idea of just even holding your hand is enough to make him flustered, let alone the idea of kissing you or having sex with you. (Do not ask how)  .He is the type that would love sitting with you but he does not like sharing his alone time with you at all. 
.The toys that are like family with him, sure that is fine, but the staff and or toys that he is not close with? Oh no, he is not sharing his time with you with them! He rather does really bad things to them. 
.Those really bad things are a brief thought and are of his darker yandere side. 
.That is right this yandere has layers and sides. He can be from a very sweet and kind yandere which we just discussed, now let's get into his remaining two. 
.This yandere side of his is, as I like to call it, his sad boy yandere side. 
.This is where he can be a tiny bit of a manipulative yandere with you. 
.As he notices when he is sad you are there more to cheer him up and he can guilt you to spend more time with him and less time with others. 
.It also hides his darker yandere side, because why would a sweet loving, sad boy like, Doey do anything wrong? 
.He knows it is a bit mean to manipulate you like that but he convinces himself he is doing it for the greater good. 
.The last one and this is his worse yandere side, is the one where he snaps. 
.This yandere side is only when he has been pushed too far by rivals or people in the way of his love for you, and he would snap. 
.This is where he would go mainly in a blind rage and kill everyone in the way that he deemed that tried to steal you away from him and or hurt you. 
.Because he would snap if anyone hurt you as well.  .So he transforms into a lizard monster that is determined to put rivals in their place (Their grave) and to protect you. 
.Yes this snapped yandere side comes out when he is trying to protect you as well, and you are the only one who can really calm him down. 
.He might accidentally hurt you but he would never have meant to and he would feel so guilty about it! 
.When he does finally confess to you he can be sweet and loving and nervous beyond words. 
.He had to build himself up to confessing to you and if you accepted his love he would pick you up and spin you around. 
.You are the best thing that has ever happened to him and he will cherish you always. 
.If you did not accept his love he would feel broken, and run away crying, he could not let you see how much he was hurt. 
.He would be in a serious funk not knowing what to do, then came the hour of joy. 
.You were out sick so he did not see you there and he would wait for you to come back! 
.Because you had to come back, you would not just leave him, right, he would not be able to bear losing you, he just could not handle it. 
.He would be a yandere once you did leave him, he is in extreme denial about you not loving him. 
.If you did come back with or without accepting his love, something has broken in him as a yandere. 
.He is not letting you go, you are going to stay with him in the factory and he will not lose you again. 
.He waited over a decade for you and now that you are back it means you accept his love and or still love him and he is NEVER EVER losing you again! 
.He has more trauma and PTSD after what happened in the factory and his love for you. 
.This goes to show, that even good yanderes can snap and turn into bad yanderes because of their obsessive love. 
.This is where all his goodness had turned into pure obsessive love, and he is never letting you go~ 
[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]
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theonottsbxtch · 2 months ago
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GIVEN ENOUGH | LN4
an: nessa barrett's new album has been pure inspiration i swear to god, listen to given enough while reading this because LORD, i fully felt bad for this version of lando even though i wrote him
wc: 2.8k
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LANDO EXHALED, HIS JAW TIGHTENING as he glanced at her from across the room. She was draped in a crimson dress that clung to her like a second skin, every inch of her perfect for the cameras that flashed relentlessly. The evening air was heavy with champagne and ego, the kind of event he loathed, but his manager had insisted. "Keep the image alive," they’d said. The golden couple, the picture of perfection. But the truth of it all lingered like poison in his throat.
She caught his gaze and smiled—small, distant, rehearsed. He knew the curve of her lips too well to be fooled. That wasn’t a smile for him. That was for the photographers. For the sponsors. For the endless charade they’d both been roped into.
Lando took a sip of his drink, amber liquid burning his throat. The taste was bitter, but not nearly as bitter as the memory of last night. Or the night before that. The endless cycle of her tears, his apologies, the shouting, the silences. She always cried so beautifully, like it was an art form, and he hated how it disarmed him every time. How it left him apologising for sins he didn’t remember committing.
Haven’t I given enough? The thought tore through him like a cold wind. He clenched the glass tighter, ignoring the laughter that rippled around the room. She always needed more—more attention, more promises, more of him. And he’d given it. Again and again, until he didn’t know what he had left.
And yet, she stood there, radiant and hollow. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to hold her or disappear entirely.
“You’re staring,” her voice came, soft yet sharp, as she stepped beside him. The closeness was suffocating, the scent of her perfume almost too much.
“Am I?” His tone was flat. Detached.
“Yes.” Her smile didn’t waver, even as her words dropped lower, meant only for him. “You should try looking at me like you actually care.”
He laughed, quiet and humourless. “Funny. I was just thinking the same about you.”
The corner of her mouth twitched, a warning, but she didn’t say anything else. She turned back to the crowd, her hand brushing his arm in a way that seemed deliberate, calculated. It was always like this—a performance. For everyone else, they were untouchable. Together. But behind closed doors, there was nothing left to save.
For a brief moment, Lando wondered if she knew how much she’d drained him, how much she’d taken. Probably not. She’d smile, shed a few tears, and take more. Because that was what she did best.
And he’d let her. Every single time.
Lando adjusted his tie, trying to loosen the invisible grip around his throat. The gala was a success, he supposed—if success was measured in hollow conversations and counterfeit smiles. The air hummed with whispers of power, of wealth, of people pretending to matter more than they did. She thrived in it. He endured it.
As she floated away to join another circle of admirers, he downed the rest of his drink. It was always like this: her holding court while he played the silent shadow. To the outside world, they were the perfect pair. To him, it felt like being dragged across broken glass.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, the vibration pulling him back to reality. He fished it out, hoping for an excuse to leave, but the screen only held a reminder of tomorrow’s schedule. Another meeting, another event, another night like this.
He sighed, setting the glass down with more force than intended. The sound drew a few glances, but he ignored them. Instead, his eyes found her again, across the room. She was laughing now, the soft, melodic sound he used to adore. Now it only made him tired.
“Rough night?” The voice came from behind him, low and sardonic. Lando turned to see a man, older, sharp-suited, with the kind of smirk that made you want to punch him.
“Just another one,” Lando replied, his tone clipped. He didn’t know this man, didn’t care to.
The man nodded, his gaze sliding to where she stood, radiant under the chandeliers. “She’s something, isn’t she? Always knows how to light up a room.”
Lando didn’t respond. He didn’t need to.
The man chuckled, a knowing sound that grated on Lando’s nerves. “But I suppose that’s the thing about women like her. They take everything you’ve got and leave you wondering if it was ever enough.”
Lando’s jaw tightened. The words cut too close, too deep. He turned back to the bar, signalling for another drink. The man didn’t push further, just gave a slight nod before disappearing into the crowd.
When the bartender slid the glass toward him, Lando stared at it for a moment, the amber liquid catching the light. How many of these nights had he survived? How many more could he endure?
“Lando.” Her voice was soft, cutting through the noise.
He turned to see her standing there, her smile as flawless as ever, though her eyes held that familiar edge. The one that always seemed to ask, Are you going to fight me, or are you going to give in?
“We should leave soon,” she said, brushing a hand over her necklace. “People will start to talk if we stay too long.”
He almost laughed at that. People always talked. It was the only constant in their world.
“Right,” he said, his voice devoid of emotion. He grabbed his jacket, the movement sharp, deliberate.
As they walked toward the exit, arm in arm for the sake of appearances, Lando felt the weight of her against him. To the onlookers, they were untouchable, unstoppable. But he knew better. She wasn’t leaning on him. She was pulling him down, piece by piece.
And no matter how much he gave, it was never enough.
The ride back to the hotel was suffocating in its silence. Lando stared out the window, watching the city blur into streaks of light and shadow. She sat beside him, her fingers scrolling idly on her phone, her face unreadable. They didn’t speak. They rarely did anymore unless it was for show.
When the car finally pulled up to the grand hotel, she stepped out first, the driver opening the door for her as though she were royalty. Lando followed, loosening his tie as they made their way through the lobby.
They looked like a power couple—walking in step, polished and composed. Heads turned as they passed, whispers trailing behind them like a faint echo. It was always the same. People admired what they thought they saw.
When they reached their floor, the elevator doors slid open with a soft chime. She stepped out first, her heels clicking against the marble. Lando followed a step behind, his feet heavier with each stride.
She stopped in front of her door, the number gleaming under the dim hallway lights. “Goodnight, Lando,” she said, her voice smooth, pleasant. Polished for the cameras that weren’t even there.
He nodded, already turning to head to his room further down the hall. But then her voice stopped him.
“Lando.”
He turned back, his hand still on the keycard in his pocket. She stood there, her hand on the doorframe, her head tilted slightly as she studied him.
“You’re in a mood tonight,” she said, her tone light, teasing, but there was something else in her eyes. Something sharp.
“Am I?” he replied flatly, his exhaustion bleeding through.
She didn’t answer. Instead, she took a step toward him, closing the distance between them. Her perfume reached him first, soft and heady, the kind he used to find intoxicating. Now it just felt cloying.
Her hands slid up his chest, her touch feather-light, deliberate. “You don’t have to sulk,” she murmured, her voice dropping lower, almost a purr. “You could come in. Stay with me tonight.”
He stiffened, his eyes searching hers. “I thought you said goodnight.”
She smiled, that perfect curve of her lips that had fooled so many. “I changed my mind.”
Before he could respond, she leaned in, her mouth brushing his. It wasn’t gentle. It never was with her. Her lips moved against his with a hunger that felt practiced, calculated. Her hands slid to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
He didn’t move at first. He didn’t want to. But then her tongue traced his bottom lip, and he gave in—not because he wanted to, but because it was easier. Because blowing off steam with her was less complicated than the alternative. Because if he left her standing in that hallway and found someone else, people would notice. They’d talk. They always did.
His hands found her waist, gripping tighter than he intended. She moaned softly against his lips, her body pressing into his as if she could melt into him entirely. It was almost enough to make him forget the hollowness behind it all.
Almost.
He broke the kiss first, his breath uneven. She leaned back just enough to meet his gaze, her lips slightly swollen, her expression unreadable.
“Come on,” she whispered, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. “No one has to know.”
The irony of her words wasn’t lost on him. No one has to know. As if they weren’t already a living spectacle. As if their lives weren’t dissected and discussed by strangers every day.
He nodded, wordlessly, and followed her into the room. Because it was easier. Because it was expected. Because it was all he had left to give.
The door shut softly behind them, the click of the lock cutting off the world outside. Her heels echoed against the hardwood floor as she stepped into the room, shedding her wrap and tossing it onto a nearby chair. The suite was immaculate—too pristine, too perfect, just like everything else in their lives.
Lando stood by the door for a moment, watching her. She didn’t glance back, already unfastening the clasp of her necklace and setting it on the dresser. The silence between them was thick, stretching taut like a thread ready to snap.
She turned, her eyes locking onto his. “Well?” she asked, her voice soft but challenging. “Are you just going to stand there?”
He shrugged off his jacket and draped it over the back of a chair. His movements were slow, deliberate, as if he were stalling for time. He didn’t know why—he already knew how the night would go.
She closed the distance between them in two strides, her fingers hooking into his shirt and pulling him closer. Her lips found his again, more insistent this time, and he let her. His hands settled on her hips, his grip firm but distant. She pressed her body against his, the warmth of her skin bleeding through the thin fabric of her dress.
“You’re so tense,” she murmured against his lips, her hands sliding up to his shoulders. “You need to relax.”
He almost laughed at that. Relax. As if he could. As if this—they—weren’t part of the reason he felt like he was drowning. But he didn’t say it. He just let her guide him, her movements fluid and precise, like a dance she’d perfected over time.
Her hands moved to the buttons of his shirt, her fingers deftly working them open. She kissed along his jaw, down his neck, her breath warm against his skin. He closed his eyes, trying to will himself to feel something. Desire, anger, anything. But all he felt was the gnawing emptiness that had been with him for months.
She pulled back just enough to look at him, her eyes searching his. “You’re quiet tonight.”
“Just tired,” he said, the words coming out flat.
Her brow furrowed slightly, but she didn’t press. Instead, she reached for his hand, guiding him toward the bed. “Come here.”
He followed, his steps heavy, his mind already elsewhere. She sat on the edge of the bed, her hands trailing up his arms as she pulled him closer. Her lips found his again, her kiss slow, sensual, calculated.
For a moment, he let himself get lost in it. In the warmth of her skin, the softness of her lips, the way her body moved against his. It was easier than thinking, easier than feeling.
But even as he sank into the motions, a voice in the back of his mind whispered the truth: this wasn’t love. This wasn’t even connection. This was survival. For both of them.
Her hands slid lower, tugging at his belt, and he let her. Because if he stopped now—if he pulled away, if he walked out—he didn’t know where he’d go. Or what he’d do.
And so, he stayed. Not because he wanted to, but because it was what was expected. Because it was what he’d been trained to do. Give enough to keep the peace. Enough to make it through the night.
But even as he moved with her, his body going through the motions, his mind drifted. And he couldn’t help but wonder how much longer he could keep giving before there was nothing left of him at all.
A little while later the room was dark except for the faint glow of the bathroom light spilling into the corner. She’d slipped out of bed without a word, the soft click of the door barely registering in the haze of his thoughts. Lando lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The sheets were tangled around his waist, their warmth suffocating despite the cold air in the suite.
He ran a hand through his hair, his chest rising and falling with measured breaths. His body felt heavy, his mind heavier. The act itself had been mechanical—motions he’d gone through so many times before, with her, with others. It should’ve been release, a momentary reprieve from the weight he carried. But instead, it only added to the weight.
In the bathroom, water ran softly from the tap, and he could hear the faint shuffle of her movements. She was thorough, always. Her routine was perfect, every step deliberate. He imagined her wiping off her makeup, smoothing out the lines that cracked her carefully crafted image. She’d come out in a silk robe, her hair pinned back, her expression serene, as if none of it ever touched her.
But him? He was cracked straight through, and no amount of polishing would make him whole again.
He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, exhaling sharply. His mind churned, fragments of thoughts colliding like shards of broken glass. He could end this. He could say the words, let it unravel, walk away. She’d be fine. She always landed on her feet. And him? He’d finally be free.
But what then?
Lando swallowed hard, his hand falling back to the mattress. The truth of it burned in his chest, heavy and bitter: he wouldn’t end it. He couldn’t.
Because this—this mess of a relationship, this performance they lived—was the most stability he’d ever had. It was the closest he’d come to something resembling a home. And even though it was killing him, it was better than the void that waited outside of it.
He clenched his jaw, staring at the ceiling as if it held answers. There were none, of course. Just the same gnawing emptiness that followed him everywhere.
The bathroom door opened, and she stepped out, exactly as he’d imagined: her robe cinched at the waist, her hair swept back, her face bare but flawless. She glanced at him briefly, her expression neutral, then moved to the other side of the bed.
“Goodnight,” she said softly, slipping under the covers.
“Goodnight,” he replied, though the word felt hollow.
He lay there for a moment longer, the silence pressing down on him. Then, with a sigh, he pushed back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed.
“Leaving?” she asked, her voice calm, almost indifferent.
“Yeah,” he said, reaching for his shirt on the floor. “I’ve got an early morning.”
She didn’t respond, simply turning onto her side and closing her eyes. It was the same every time. No argument, no questions. Just this unspoken understanding that this was how it worked.
He dressed quickly, buttoning his shirt with practiced efficiency. His tie was a crumpled mess in his hand, but he didn’t bother fixing it. As he grabbed his jacket and shoes, he cast one last glance at her. She looked peaceful, like a portrait in a gallery—beautiful, untouchable, and completely detached.
He stepped out into the hallway, the door clicking shut behind him. The silence out here was colder, emptier, but he welcomed it.
As he walked toward his room, his shoes dangling from his hand, he felt the familiar weight settle on his shoulders again. The routine was almost comforting in its predictability. Wake up. Smile for the cameras. Go through the motions. Give enough to keep the world spinning.
Because if he didn’t, he wasn’t sure what would happen.
And that terrified him more than anything else.
the end.
taglist: @alexisquinnlee-bc @carlossainzapologist @oikarma @obxstiles @verstappenf1lecccc @hzstry8 @dying-inside-but-its-classy @anamiad00msday @linnygirl09 @mastermindbaby @iamred-iamyellow
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islayhawkin · 1 year ago
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Let me take care of you
Newt x f!reader (clint x jeff mentioned- if you don't ship it just ignore it lol)
2,8k
Summery: newt accidentally overhears you talking about liking him but he thinks you were talking about minho
Request: Hello can you do a newt x fem!reader when the reader is a medjack and talk about (I forget if it’s Clint or Jeff) how she is love with him but she didn’t realize he was behind her ? Please
Misunderstandings; hurt/comfort, angst
A/N: okay this escalated pretty quick into angst whoops
Can be read as a part 2 of 'let me help you'
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It was a usual morning in the glade. The runners were getting ready to start their rounds. Alby started to wake everyone up and frypan made breakfest ready.
You and jeff on the other hand were already in the med-hut to check up on a slicer who almost got his arm chopped off yesterday. Jeff held his fingers to the boys neck.
"He's still alive."
You hummed in relief.
"Lost much blood?"
You collected the things to change the bandage on the young boys arm.
"Nah seems pretty good."
You handed jeff a container of warmed up water and a cloth. "Thanks" jeff muttered as he began removing the blood soaked bandage from the arm. You sat down next to the bed and gave jeff a helping hand whenever he needed.
"How are things with clint?" You gave Jeff a teasing grin. Jeff sighed.
"There are no 'things' between me and clint." But he gave up long ago to deny it convincingly in front of you.
"You looked shucking cute cuddled up yesterday evening." You grinned as you took the dirty cloth and water bowl from him.
Jeff scoffed. "Oh yeah what about you lovebirds then? I'm pretty sure you two were the ones cuddled up. Half the glade was probably jealous." He took the new bandage from your hand. A blush coated your cheeks but you smiled softly at the memory. "Yeah we were quite close yesterday."
You realised that the boy jeff was currently treating was still fast asleep. "Nothing wakes him up does it?" You pointed to him.
Jeff chuckled. "He sleeps like a rock. But don't try to distract me. I'm telling you, you need to ask him out."
"Because you're the expert in that?" You raised your brow.
Jeff rolled his eyes and sat down too after finishing the bandage. "No. Because it is so clearly obvious to everyone. Do you know why the boys don't try anything anymore with you?"
You blinked confused. "No...?" "Newt threatens them. They're afraid they'll be banished or beaten to a pulp if they try something with you."
You were speachless for a moment. "What...? No newt doesn't do that... I know he's protective. That's why they set up the rules but he never uses violence."
"Well he does when you are involved. You remember how gally was brought in with a bashed in face? That was newt. Gally, as gally is, apperently said a lot of disrespectful stuff about you which he could not tolerate."
Your heart beat a bit faster. Newt did this for you? You knew newt avoided violence and stuck to order as much as he was capable off. And that he completely neglected these believes as soon as you were involved was weirdly...sweet.
"So I'm telling you- he cares about you very deeply. Almost concerningly so. And everyone of the boys is aware how you two look at eachother."
You couldn't contain your bright smile. "I never knew that. That is very sweet." You sighed dreamily. "He's just so adorable."
Jeff laughed quietly. "I tell you he's beaten someone up and you call him adorable?"
You glare at him with a pout. "You know that's not what I mean. He's just- so handsome. Even when his hair is touseled of sweat at the end of the day. I don't know how he does it. I could listen to his voice all day too. Every time I see him I just want to squeeze him out of excitment."
"I'm sure he is." Jeff muttered with a grin.
"He always looks out for everyone and rather neglects his own needs than others. I'd rather he wouldn't but I like that about him. He also has everything in control. I mean alby is the leader but he's the leader in the background. He always notices when something is wrong and asks about it. When he laughs he has these really cute crinkles on his nose. Sorry I'm rambling."
Jeff leaned forward. "Then do something about it. Honestly in the eyes of everyone you're already-"
Newt cleared his throat as he stood awkwardly in the doorway of the med-hut. He had walked in a minute ago and heard you talking about someone. At first he thought you might actually be talking about him but his self-consciousness told him you were probably talking about minho. You two always were so close. Minho was a phisical guy. He was muscular. Had great humor. Of course newt understood why you'd fall for minho. After all it was his best friend. But it still stung. A lot.
Newt didn't mean to eavesdrop but he couldn't really find a good moment to interrupt until he couldn't stand hearing more.
His face showed a friendly expression but his eyes wouldn't meet your face.
You on the other hand were turning around to look at newt with wide eyes. You didn't know how long he stood there. How much he heard. If he even heard anything so you tried to slow your heartbeat and act normally.
Jeff glanced between you two as if he was watching a very interesting story unfold before his eyes.
"I uh. I need to get some supplies for the runners. They're about to start. But maybe you'd like to bring it yourself to minho?"His eyes were lowered to the ground.
"Yes of course. No problem." You hastily stood up and collected the small supplies for the runners. As soon as you finished speaking newt was already gone again.
You stilled as you realised this and turned to jeff with wide eyes. "Do you think he heard?"
"He heard something."
"Why did he storm off then?"
Jeff raised his shoulders. "You should probably go talk to him."
***
You did try and talk to him but after the encounter Newts behavior changed. He clearly tried to avoid you. He was a lot more in his room. Even locked up so alby couldn't get in to sleep. He almost worked aggressively hard as a track-hoe. Not stopping to work at dinner time and starting to work before the others were even up.
The others noticed too of course. Newt was the glue after all. Without Newts full help the glade got into a more chaotic state. Alby needed to scream around a lot more. He even seemed to be angry at newt for acting this way.
He didn't come to the med-hut anymore. Neither for his limp nor to pick you up for sleep.
For you and frankly everybody else it was a unreasonable change of behavior. You knew the things he overheard in the med-hut were the trigger for this but you could not fathom why he'd be so distraught because of it.
But to Newt it was perfectly reasonable. You were in love with minho and the latter obviously in love with you. The whole glade seemed to be. You were the only girl. What chance did he have.Newt saw it clearly. You always were with minho. Sometimes even disapearing with him into the woods. He didn't even want to think about what you did. You always kissed minhos cheek. Hugged him a lot. Minho always flirted with you.
And it was even worse that minho was his best friend. He loved minho dearly. They've been through everything together. And he couldn't bare the thought of losing you both when you two were so close.
This reaction to the pain he felt in his chest may have seemed overdramatic to a outsider but to newt it wasn't only about 'not getting a chance with you'. It made him realise that the love he felt for you, the hope you gave him, was all in his head. He needed your love. Desperately. And he didn't know how to cope without it again.
This worried you. A lot.The behavior reminded you of the time after his incident. How you first got to know him after waking up in the glade. He seemed broken then and he did now.It made you realise that nothing really changed about newt. He was still that small kid that you first met.
What worried you even more was his self-harming behavior. Not taking any consideration about the state of his body.
He didn't stop working even when alby told him to. Sometimes he didn't show up for dinner because of it. You always took a extra ration from frypan and brought it up to his room.
You knocked softly on the locked wooden door. "Newt?" There was no answer. "Newt I brought you dinner. You need to eat something."
Silence.
You almost layed the plate down in front of the door again when the door opened a bit.
Newt couldn't help but take that glimpse of your care.
You gave him a smile. "Hey." You held the plate out in front of you. "Here. You missed dinner."
Newt took the plate from your hands hesitantely and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Thanks."
Before he could close the door again you held the door open with your foot. "Newt what's wrong? I know I've been asking this constantly the last few days but I worry about you. The whole glade does. You're not acting like yourself." Your voice was soft.
He shrugged carelessly. "Maybe I just have my period." He tried to joke. You were glad he attempted a joke again. But you also knew it was his way of distracting of the matter at hand.
You gave him a look. "We both know that is not the reason."
Newt sighed. "There is nothing wrong. I'd like to sleep."
You scanned his face desperate for a answer. "Is all this about what you heard me talking about?"
Newt froze up. "I never heard anythin'. Good night." He closed the door and locked it. He leaned his back against the door and took deep breaths. Blinking away tears.The situation didn't stop him from defending you though. On the contrary. He got more angry. More irretable. The usual calm and collected newt was overcome with a more emotional one.
Minho and alby gave you a explicit instruction to get throught to him at breakfast table that morning.
And you were determined to do so today. This has been going on for a few days too long for your liking. When you made your way over to the gardens in search of him the sign you were met with made a stabbing pain in your heart. Newt was working in the garden as usual. Pulling vegatables out, getting new fertilizer, sowing new ones. You normally loved watching him work. But today the pain was evident on his face. His limp finally catching up with the pressure he was constantly putting on it. You saw him stumble a few times but he pushed through obviously.
Until he just...collapsed. His leg gave out under him. You could see him staying layed on the ground. His face on the earth. Exhausted. Suddenly his lanky frame you oh so loved looked a bit too skinny for your liking.
You hurriedly made your way over to him. When he noticed you he tried to scramble up fastly which only made his limp buckle under his weight again. He cursed under his breath.You kneeled down beside him and gripped his arm and a hand around his waist. "Shuck newt. What are you doing..."
"I'm fine. I'm fi-" he struggled to get up again with the few strength he had left.
You pulled him down against you by the waist again. "Stop it." There was a plea in your voice. "Stop it newt. You're hurting yourself."
He still struggled against your hold. "Let go. There is nothing...wrong" his voice cracked.
You didn't let him go. He turned his head away from you as a tear rolled down his cheek and he started to shake slightly.
Everything hurt him. His body. His mind. Only your soft touch gave him comfort.
"Shh." You turned his head to you gently. He didn't meet your eye but you could see in them the pain he was in. You wiped the tear away with your thumb.
"Come on. I'll take care of you." You stroked a dirty strand of hair out of his face and helped him stand up. A lot of his weight leaned on you as you led him into the med-hut. Clint looked up startled when he saw you carry a half limp newt in.
"Out." You ordered him but added a thankful smile.
Clint nodded with a glance at newt and scrambled out of the hut. Newt let himself fall down onto a bed. You took a blanket and tucked him into it, started to boil water on the fire and pushed another pillow under his head.
"I will be right back. Don't go anywhere." Newt watched how you gave him a sweet smile and made your way outside again.You came back with a bowl of food and a bottle of water, shut the door to the med-hut to build as much privacy as possible.
You sat yourself down on the side of his bed and showed him your loot. "What do you want?" A loving smile thrown his way.
"Carrot" he cracked out.
You put the rest of the food aside and handed him the carrot. He moved up to rest his back against the wall and hesitantely began to eat the carrot under your careful watch. The silence engulfed the room for a while only the cracks of the carrot being heard.
You made a heating pad with the boiling water meanwhile and pulled the leg of newts trousers up to gently lay the warm pad onto his throbbing knee.
You did what you always did. Care for him. Take care of him. He had missed this terribly. But he hadn't forgotten what had happened.
He looked at you a long moment. Watched your every move. He felt like he hadn't been able to look at you proberly for way too long. "Do you-" he swallowed. "Do you like my voice too?" His voice was timid. He wasn't sure why he chose that detail to ask.
"What?" You ask perplexed and looked up at his face.
"Nevermind" his voice was still raw.
"Of course I like your voice. How do you come to that question?"
Newt didn't know how to answer that question so he stayed silent.
You sighed and slid nearer to him on the bed. "Newt what's wrong? Please tell me. You are in a horrible condition. I'm worried. Everyone is worried."
"I- heard you. The other day. Talking about minho. You should give him a go if you feel that way about him."
You blinked. To you his talk was making none sense at all.
"but uh-" he swallowed. "Can I still come to you if you...?"
You frowned. "I'm not sure what you're talking about newt. Of course you can come to me. Always. You know that. But what has this to do with minho-?" The words now registered completely in your brain. "You think I was talking about Minho?"
Newt looked away painfully. "Yes I suppose it was obvious for a while..."
You shook your head in realisation. "Newt."
His eyes snapped up to yours. "I wasn't talking about minho. I was talking about you."
Newt thought he hadn't heard right. "W-what?"
"Yes. I mean minho is great. I love him too. But he's not you."
"You like all that about...me ?"
"Of course. You are...amazing." You laughed quietly.
Newt was speechless.
Your heart was beating a lot more faster than normally but you tried to ignore it. Taking a deep breath. "May I...lay with you?" You whispered.
He never wanted- needed anything more. But his brain was in freeze and he could only nod his head.
You cautiously layed down next to him and crawled your body under the blanket too. You were very clode to eachother. You could feel the presence of his body next to you. He felt himself relax in the presense of your body next to him. Your small breath tickling his cheek.
You decided to let your instincts take over and slid your hand around his waist gingerly. Newts body tensed up and he sucked in a small breath at the sudden contact.
"Thank you." He breathed out. His body relaxing again.
"For what?" You whispered.
"Loving me. Pulling me out. Caring for me. Without you I'd probably would have taken another go at that jump long ago." His self humor shone through.
You smiled but lightly squeezed him. "Don't joke about that. I'm glad you feel that way. Thank you too."
"For what?" He retorted my own question back.
"Being you. Looking out for me. I heard the boys were threatened by you?"
A blush formed on his cheeks. "Yeah they were saying disrespectful stuff and I can't let them wander around thinking they can try whatever they want with you."
You smiled. "Always holding the order up."
"It's my job." You looked at his big brown eyes.
"Please don't punish yourself like this again. Don't shut yourself off like this. I'm not sure why you're punishing yourself. You don't have to tell me. But I don't want you to do it. Please? At least talk to me."
"I'll try."
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0omillo0 · 4 months ago
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HAN X READER — JEALOUSY
angst, happy ending
synopsis: During Han’s tour, jealousy and misunderstandings strain his relationship with Y/N.
˚୨୧⋆。♡˚⋆
You curled up in bed, pulling the covers tighter around your shoulders as the concert livestream played on your laptop. The screen glowed with bright lights and the screams of fans, their adoration for Han filling the room. Your heart swelled with pride as he stood on stage, pouring his soul into the performance. He looked electrified, alive in a way only music could make him.
Y/N: Knock ’em dead tonight! I’m so proud of you! I’ll be watching 💜
A second later, his reply came through.
Han: Thanks, babe. Thinking of you. Wish you could be here 😔
You smiled, feeling that pang of missing him mixed with gratitude. Watching him perform was almost enough to fill the space he’d left behind — almost.
The next song started, and you watched with a proud, content smile until something made your heart dip. The camera panned, catching Han as he made his way down the stage, engaging with fans along the barricades. He leaned close, flashing that signature smile that you knew all too well. And then, with one fan near the front row, he took her hand. He lingered, his expression soft as he chatted with her, giving her that devoted look he often gave you. Your stomach tightened.
The minutes stretched on, and you couldn’t shake the hollow feeling that had crept in. You told yourself that it was just fan service, that it was part of his job, but your mind refused to quiet. Why was he lingering so long? Why did it feel like more than just a quick interaction?
Before you could fully process it, your breathing had turned shallow, chest feeling like it was caving in. Panic coiled in your stomach, and your hands trembled as you clutched your phone. You needed to talk to someone, anyone. You thought for a while and after the show, you dialed Felix.
The phone barely rang before he answered.
Felix: “Y/N? Hey, what’s up?”
Your voice came out in shaky breaths, words stumbling over each other. “I—I’m sorry to call so late, I just… I’m freaking out.”
Felix: “Hey, hey, slow down. It’s okay, I’m here. What happened?”
You took a deep breath, struggling to find the words. “Han was… he was holding hands with a fan at the concert. I know it’s dumb, but… it just got to me. They looked so close.”
Felix: “Y/N… I get it, I do. You know he loves you, right? He’s just trying to connect with fans.”
Y/N: “I know, but… it hurt, Felix. He looked so… sincere.”
Felix: “I know it’s hard, but he’s doing it for the fans, not to hurt you. Just breathe, okay? You’re allowed to feel this way, but remember, his connection with you is real. You’re the one he calls every night, not anyone else.”
You exhaled shakily, feeling the tension start to ease. “Thanks, Felix. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Felix: “Anytime, Y/N. You don’t have to go through this alone, you know?”
As you hung up, a small part of you felt reassured, yet doubts lingered. But the comfort Felix provided was something to hold on to, at least for tonight.
Hours later, halfway across the world, Han stood in a quiet backstage hallway, trying to clear his head when he overheard his name. He stopped, listening as your voice, faint but unmistakable, carried through the phone. And then he heard Felix’s voice, soft and reassuring, comforting you. It stung — why hadn’t you come to him first?
When he finally got back to his hotel room, he saw your messages but didn’t open them right away. His thoughts swirled with emotions, jealousy the loudest among them. He opened his messages and began typing, fingers moving faster than his mind.
Han: Why did you go to Felix with this?
You replied almost instantly.
Y/N: I had a panic attack, Han. I didn’t know who else to call.
Han: But you could’ve waited. You could’ve… trusted me to handle this.
Y/N: Waited? Han, I needed someone in that moment. You weren’t there, and I was falling apart.
Han: You don’t think it hurts to hear you went to someone else with this?
Y/N: I wasn’t trying to hurt you! I just… I needed someone, and Felix was there.
Han: Well, maybe… maybe it’s better if you just don’t call me while I’m on tour. This is just too much.
Y/N: Han… are you serious right now?
Han: I’ll call you when I can handle this. But please, don’t message me for a while.
The silence that followed felt suffocating. You stared at the screen, disbelief mingling with a deep, piercing pain. With shaking hands, you set your phone down and shut your laptop. The hollow ache turned into an overwhelming emptiness.
Days passed in a blur of missed calls and unread messages. You’d turned off your phone, needing to escape the world that had once felt so full with him in it. Nights blurred into days, loneliness pressing in on you like a weight you couldn’t shake.
Across the world, Han felt every second of your silence, each one heavier than the last. His words replayed in his mind, sharp and unforgiving. He knew he had overreacted, let his jealousy get the best of him, but pride and guilt kept him from reaching out. It was Felix, eventually, who confronted him.
Felix: “You realize what you did, right?”
Han: “Felix, I was upset. I didn’t think—”
Felix: “No, you didn’t think. She called you, desperate, because she needed you. And you told her not to.”
Han ran a hand through his hair, guilt churning in his gut. “I just… I got jealous. She’s close to you, and I…”
Felix: “So you punished her for it. She’s been miserable, Han. Fix this.”
When Han finally gathered the courage, he knew words alone wouldn’t be enough. He wanted to show you how deeply he regretted his actions. He called a florist, ordering 500 roses, each one a silent plea for forgiveness. Alongside them, he sent a letter.
Y/N,
I was wrong. I’m sorry.
I let my own jealousy cloud my judgment and hurt you. You are the most important person in my life, and I can’t bear the thought of pushing you away. No amount of distance can lessen what I feel for you, and I was selfish to let my pride get in the way. Please give me a chance to make this right. I love you, and I’m so sorry for the pain I caused.
Love, Han
When the roses arrived, you stared at them, your heart pounding with a mixture of relief and hesitation. Each petal felt like an apology, each one carrying a whisper of the love you feared was lost.
With trembling fingers, you dialed his number. He answered on the first ring, his voice breathless.
Han: “Y/N…”
The silence stretched, filled with emotions neither of you knew how to express.
Y/N: “I don’t know why you would do that, Han. Why you’d make me feel like… like I didn’t deserve to feel those things. This was the first time I was jealous and I was scared to talk about it. Now I know I can’t do it.”
Han: “ No no no baby, you have to talk about it… I’m so sorry— I know I didn’t react well and I regret every second of it. I was angry… and I didn’t think about what you needed. Only what I felt.”
Y/N: “You really hurt me.”
Han: “I know, and if I could take back those words, I would. I’ll never make you feel that way again, I promise.”
A weight lifted, the ache in your chest easing as you listened to him, his voice full of genuine regret. You felt the love that had always been there, beneath the hurt and distance, waiting for you both to reach it again.
Y/N: “Just… don’t ever do that again. Don’t make me feel like I can’t come to you.”
Han: “I won’t. I swear. I love you, Y/N, and I’ll spend every day showing you that.”
A soft smile crept onto your face as you finally allowed yourself to forgive him. The hurt was real, but so was his love — and so was yours.
taglist
@hannamoon143 @intartaruginha
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ryebread0605 · 2 months ago
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Okay, here me out...
Leona with a female reader that has a primal play fetish. Dash of a breeding kink...
Him getting a kick out of how reactive she gets, wound up when running during gym class. When their bodies clash on the field during contact sports. She's feisty and clearly not afraid to get roughed up, openly clashing with other students with a smile of delight. A lioness in all but body.
Once again yall really figuring out like all of my interests here! I actually ended up looking into more if female or male lions are more dominant but, as a lot of stuff goes either way, imma stick with the male lion being more dominant! (Ps to other anon asking for lioness reader I added you in here!)
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The only female in Savanaclaw.
The only one in all of NRC.
The only non beastman since Rook.
At first, Leona was certain the other men would eat you alive.
And yet, you proved very early on you were NOT to be taken lightly.
He still remembers it, the men had decided to gang up on you and try to catch you off guard. Before he could even blink, they had all been knocked out and you had a rage he had never before seen on anyone in your eyes.
Damn was it ever hot.
He found himself craving your feisty nature, how you would glare at him during spelldrive practice when on opposite teams and how seriously you took the games. It was your way of showing off and damn did you ever. The fire in your eyes and the smirk on your face with each calculated movement you made just about made the prideful lion want to give in.
Key word: just about.
Instead, he became determined to have you submit to him. To prove that he could tame even the most wild of animals. To show he was truly in power here. Leona did always love a good chase, so make it interesting herbivore. 
(!!Smut starts here!!)
The sound of skin against skin echoed through the room, low growls from one and filthy words from the other. The bed creaked, almost as if it would give out soon under the two. 
“Look at you, such a dirty slut. All you’re good for is this, being a cumdump for me.” His voice was condescending and sharp, that dumb smirk you hated yet loved plastered on his face as his hips continued their relentless movement. You couldn’t even speak, his dick hitting the right zones so perfectly that your brain begged you to just give in while also wanting him to be meaner. 
“Aww, poor kitten lost her claws? Too fucking bad, I like seeing you quiet for once~” he laughed cruelly as he tangled his fingers in your hair and yanked a bit, not enough to cause damage but just enough to tow the line between pleasure and pain. The bumps along his cock rubbed so perfectly against your soft wet walls that hugged him tight, a sensation he adored more than anything. 
“You gonna be a good little breeding toy? Let me fill you up until you’re all swollen with my cubs? Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you whore?” He growled into your ear as his brutal pace grew faster and more frantic, his hand in your hair pushing your head into the bed more as you drooled from the overwhelming pleasure.
It didn’t take much longer for your orgasm to hit, his following soon after as the thick hot ropes of cum exploded into your cunt. He stilled, panting as sweat coated his muscular abdomen, tail swaying behind him and ears twitching a bit. Slowly, he began to pull out and laughed as you whined in response, cum dripping from your greedy hole,
“So pathetic, crying over not being stuffed? Fucking whore, you’re lucky I like to see you lose your mind to me~” he smirked once again as he flipped you onto your back and pushed your legs to your chest, allowing him to get a great view of his cum dribbling out of your swollen cunt. He gave it a few smacks, each eliciting a moan from you, before he roughly shoved back in for the fourth time that night,
“Now be a good little breeding toy and moan loud for me, Ruggie deserves a good show afterall~” looks like the Hyena outside the door wasn’t so sneaky afterall.
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theemissuniverse · 6 months ago
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“WATCH YOURSELF” - DEADPOOL X GRUMPY FEM!READER
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Summary : Despite your love/hate relationship with Deadpool, you won’t tolerate anyone talking bad on him. No matter how annoying he is. (Your power is being lucky, super strength, and you’re great in combat. You have a slow healing ability too. Yes I know being Lucky is Dominos thing. Shush.)
Warnings : none? Besides well, he’s Deadpool
You were beyond annoyed when you were pulled into this disaster of an adventure with one of the most annoying people on the planet but after Wade had explained to you why he dragged you in, your animosity started to die down.
While Wade, who you always referred to as “Deadpool”, liked you, admired you, and even flirted with you, you always made it clear that he irritated you. That all his quips, lines, and forth wall breaking were all getting at your wits end.
Throughout time, he had actually started to grow on you a little and you were even starting to tolerate him. He wasn’t bad. At least not as bad as you thought he was.
You weren’t the only person he dragged, he dragged Wolverine into the party and now it was up to you three to save yours and Wade’s timeline.
What Logan didn’t know was that he wasn’t getting anything out of this. At least you weren’t exactly sure but Wade told you to keep in under wraps and well, you did.
It’s just Wade didn’t seem to remember it.
The three of you were in the car with Logan driving and Wade in the passenger seat. You were in the backseat.
Wade groaned in agony as Logan’s claws dug into his thigh. “I didn’t lie! I made an educated wish!”
The statement made you look at Wade like he was an idiot and you shook your head at how ridiculous he could be.
Logan looked at him the same but only more heated. “Did you say you made an educated…fucking…wish?”
The tension wasn’t dying at all and you rubbed your temple in annoyance as Wade just kept on talking. So much so that it pissed Logan off. “You know what you’re a fucking joke.” He said to him, putting his fist down from the air. “No wonder the avengers didn’t take you or the X-Men, or hell fucking anyone.”
You knew Logan was harsh and you knew a lot of things didn’t get to Wade but you know that was going to. Logan wasn’t done though. He kept going. “I mean you are ridiculous, immature, half witt moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life and that says a lot because I’ve been alive for more than two hundred fucking years, and I’ll tell you that bald chick was right about one thing.”
“You will never save the world. You couldn’t even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper! And motherfucker I wish you could say you die alone but it’s one of god’s best jokes that you can’t die, except it’s on all of us!”
Your eyes widen at everything Logan said. You turned to see Wade’s reaction, expecting a snippy comment but none comes out. He’s silent.
You can’t really see his facial expressions because of the mask but with his head down, you could tell that he was upset. By everything Wolverine said.
You’ve known Wade for the longest and even though he could be too much Deadpool, he was still Wade. The same Wade that adored you, the same Wade that had your back. And the same Wade that would never let anyone talk to you like that.
Looking at Logan, you gave him a harsh glare. “I’m going to fight you now.”
Logan laughed while snorting as if he couldn’t believe you would fight him over him insulting Wade. Especially because around him you acted like you couldn’t stand him. He looked in the back seat where you sat at. “Oh are you?”
You immediately punched him in the face which made his nose bleed. You took the seatbelt that was connected to his seat and stabbed him right in the shoulder with the buckle. He groaned in pain. You proceeded to throw him out of the car.
Wade looked at you in shock. You stepped out of the car and walked over to Logan who got up from the ground quickly.
“You don’t want to do this.” Logan said more so as a warning.
“You’re right, I don’t.” You copied Wade’s words from his interaction with Wolverine before and took out your gun that was in pocket. You proceeded to shoot him and the bullets went through his chest.
He held his chest while glaring at you. The bullets started to come out of him and he instinctively charged at you.
With your luck, you moved out of the way and kicked him down. You went to punch him in the face but he pulled you down.
Wolverine took out his claws and tried to get you in the gut but you rolled away from the impact. On the ground, you wrapped both your legs around his neck and flipped him over so he was laying on his back.
You took out your other gun and shot into his stomach where his intestines were and he screamed. You could tell he was getting frustrated that he could barely land a hit because of your luck.
Wade couldn’t believe you were actually fighting Wolverine. His first thought was, why? Did you do it for him? Or because you were genuinely just sick of him? Wade looks at the reader. “I think I should stop this…but she’s so hot when she gets like that.”
Logan finally kicked you off. Your luck was starting to run out. He picked you up by your neck, choking you with his left hand and his claw had went into your stomach. You screamed in agony.
Wade looked back at the fight and now was going to kick his ass. “Alright, here we go.” He steps out of the car. Then reaches for his small knife in his boot. He casually walks over to Logan. “Baby knife.” He says in a small whisper before stabbing it in Logan’s abdomen.
It hurts him but doesn’t seem to make him let you go. Wade punches him in the face which finally makes Logan release you. He gets knocked to the ground.
Wade knows you can handle yourself but it doesn’t make him worry any less. Unlike him, your healing abilities were slow and just because you were lucky didn’t mean you couldn’t die. “You okay, Buffy?”
You shot him a look, rubbing your neck to release the tension you felt from your neck. “Buffy slayed vampires.”
“Tomato, apple.” Deadpool says as if the information you provided really mattered.
You saw Logan get up and it made you stand to your feet. Wade shook his head. “Nah. How bout you take five? I can’t let you have all the fun.”
Immediately, Logan charged into Wade and they flew into the car. You shook your head at the two fighting, deciding to call it quits. Then walked away so you could get some fresh air and your wounds could heal properly.
Something was bugging you. Why did you do that for Wade? He was extremely annoying but yet, it bothered you when you saw him upset. Maybe it was because that was the first time you saw him genuinely upset.
You sat on the big rock, looking at the waterfall. It was nearly night. You just needed to clear your mind without all the men blocking your inner thoughts.
You wouldn’t get much peace though as you heard Wade walking up towards you. You knew it was him because you recognized his footsteps. You still looked at him to confirm.
When you did, you saw his suit all bloodied and even a little tear in the suit itself. But other than that, he looked fine. He was a professional mercenary after all. He could handle himself.
Wade sits on the rock next to you. “I take it back. The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.” He exasperated while rolling his neck slightly.
You didn’t comment. He turned to look at you and noticed the bruise on your neck hadn’t healed yet. “Jesus your powers are shit.” His gloved hand came up to examine your neck more. You allowed him.
Again, with the mask on, you couldn’t really make out the best of facial expressions but you could tell he was worried. “Who knew your luck would run out with Wolvy?”
You chuckled a little at his comment before looking back at the waterfall. “I know right? Didn’t think he’d actually beat me.”
“Nah. He didn’t beat you.” He raised his hand down. Then looked at your shirt that was bloodied.
You looked to where his eyes were looking. Then shook your head. You lifted your shirt up to reveal that the gash that Logan gave you was almost healed. “I’m fine.” You let go of the shirt. “Not everyone’s got super healing powers like you.”
Deadpool nodded at this. “Yeah. I am pretty great.”
You rolled your eyes slightly. The two of you sat in silence for a minute which was strange considering who you were sitting next to. You wondered if he was still hurt about what Logan said.
Far from that. Wade, for the first time, was in deep thought and wasn’t monologuing it. You defended him and usually, he wouldn’t question stuff like that but it wasn’t in your nature to do that, for anyone. You didn’t care for things like that and just did what you called, “minding one’s business.”
You could tell that he was itching to say something and you were questioning why he was taking so long to say it. “Out with it. I can’t take your silence anymore.”
He knew you liked when he rambled even though you didn’t like to admit it. “I’m just wondering, cupcake.”
“Wondering what?”
“Why you decided to fight him? I’m still not getting that.”
The question he asked made you pause. You still didn’t even know why you did it. How were you supposed to answer that?
The deep part of your subconscious knew though. You liked him. You just didn’t want to admit it. “I don’t know.” You said. “He’s annoying.”
“Yeah. Well, I could take that if maybe he did something annoying but-“
“I’m starting to regret letting you talk.”
Wade ignored you and continued. “He was talking to me. Insulting me. And that’s when you fought him.” He spoke out loud putting the puzzle pieces together. And that’s when he gasped.
You looked back at him when he gasped. “What?”
He hit your shoulder playfully. “You like me.”
The way he said it was like he was a third grader on the playground. It annoyed you. Especially because that’s not why. Or at least, that’s what you thought. “What? Are you kidding me? Me? Like you? Are you sure Logan didn’t hit you too hard in the head back there?”
Wade ignored your denial and kept going. “Denial. One of the first huge steps to getting towards acceptance.”
With that, you stood up from the rock and towered over Wade. “Wade, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to kick your ass.”
Wade stood up with you and because he was taller than you, he towered over you. “Go ahead. But you know I’m only gonna get turned on by it right?”
You crossed your arms, glaring at the man child. “Okay? So I fought him because he was talking shit? So what?”
“Not to be on his side but…I did lie.”
“You didn’t lie.” You told him. “You made an educated wish.”
You regretted saying that because the moment you did, you could tell Wade was smiling under his mask. “Oh come on and just kiss me already.” He went to grab at your hips to pull you into one but you pushed him away.
“Ugh. I can’t stand you.” You went to walk away but Deadpool followed right behind you. He took his left hand and interlocked his fingers with your left.
“So where are we going on our first date? I would do all the heavy lifting but you’re kinda a control freak though so…”
You groaned in frustration but allowed Wade to hold your hand.
I guess you were dating him now?
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harrysfolklore · 8 months ago
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Can you write an imagine of Harry inspired by that clip of Taylor playing call it what you want on the guitar in miss americana where he’s recording you as you play him the song you wrote for him plsss 🙏🏼
golden hour - hs
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A HARRY FIC OMG??? this is really short but i needed to write a harry fic to get the creative juices flowing so thank youuuu for this request, i hope you like this!
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
You sat cross-legged on the plush rug of your living room, your acoustic guitar resting comfortably on your lap. The late afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a warm, golden glow over the room. Harry was sprawled on the couch opposite you, looking cozy as ever in a green jumper and joggers.
"Are you ready?" you asked, glancing up at him with a mix of excitement and nerves.
"Absolutely, love," Harry smiled at you, "Why do you always get nervous when you're about to play a song for me. It's just me, love"
"Because," you began, running your fingers through the strings of your guitar, "It's a song I wrote about you, and It's really sappy."
"I love sappy," Harry's smile widened, a soft chuckle leaving his lips, "Especially when it's about us, or just you being a simp over me."
You rolled your eyes with affection, "I'm going to start singing before I completely regret it."
"Wait," Harry said before you could start, "Can I record you? It would be a cute memory."
"Of course you can, but don't leak it to TMZ," you joked and he grabbed his phone from the coffee table in front of him, opening his camera.
"I'll keep it just for us, promise." He adjusted himself on the couch, holding his phone up to get a clear view of you. "Alright, ready when you are, my love."
"Okay this is Golden Hour, take one from our living room," you said looking at the camera, "Let's go."
You took a deep breath and began strumming the opening chords of the song you had written your fingers danced across the strings with ease.
All that I know Is you caught me at the right time Keep me in your glow 'Cause I'm havin' such a good time with you
Baby, don't you know That you're my golden hour The color of my sky You set my world on fire And I know, I know everything's gonna be alright
You sang softly, watching as Harry's eyes beamed with happiness and amusement as he listened to the words pouring from your heart.
You kept on singing and playing your guitar, mouthing an "I love you" to Harry before reaching the final chorus, your smile as wide as his.
And when the song came to an end, you let the final chord hang in the air for a moment, and you looked up to see Harry, his expression one of pure adoration.
"That was... beautiful, love," Harry said and he stopped the recording and sat his phone down "You never cease to amaze me. I don't think I've ever felt this loved."
"Harry, stop," you set the guitar gently on the floor and covered your face, "You're going to make me cry."
Harry chuckled, moving from the couch to sit beside you on the rug.
"No need to hide, love. It's just me, remember?" he gently pulled your hands away from your face, holding them in his.
"I know, but still," you murmured, a small smile playing on your lips.
"Well, you should know that your song made me the happiest man alive," he said, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "You have no idea how much I love you."
"I might have an idea," you teased, pecking his lips quickly.
"Now, how about we make this a tradition? You play me a song every week. Deal?"
"Only if you promise to write a song for me too. It's only fair," you raised an eyebrow playfully.
"Oh, it's a deal, love. Just you wait. I'll write the sappiest song you've ever heard," he pecked your lips again, "Or what about the horniest song you've ever heard, huh? What do you prefer, sappy or horny?"
"Your horny songs are all about fruit anyway," you teased again, making him laugh, "I'm happy you liked the song, baby."
"I loved it," he said softly, pulling you into a warm embrace. "And I love you."
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