#they realized how much less friction there was without jamie

[thetarttfuldickhead]

If Roy does want to stop Jamie from joining the rest of the team for their night out in Amsterdam for Training Reasons, I need Jamie to argue that it’s unfair to demand that he be a teamplayer if he doesn’t get to actually be part of the team, especially after the whole Zava thing that had me feeling fucking alienated, man.

Partly because, you know, decent point, Jamie, but mostly because I need a reaction shot of Coach Beard looking shocked and dismayed that Jamie knows words now and Beard just doesn’t know how to deal with that.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Dear Dean (Chapter 7)

Re-post

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC (Jamie Blum)

WC: 3.6k

Summary: After taking Saint Lo, by sheer dumb luck, Lieutenant Dean Winchester from the 29th Infantry Division, Baker Company, received a truckload of replacements for his platoon that was falling apart. Little did he know, that one recruit would change his life forever.

Chapter Warnings: There’s a little angst and fluff!

SERIES MASTERLIST

August 12th, 1944

“We’ll be moving out in the next few days. Get your men ready, get some training, double it if you must. Anything to get the men used to being in the front line again. Any questions?” Lieutenant Novak looked around the room, searching their faces to see nobody objecting. “You’re dismissed.” Novak, the new CO of Baker company, said, nodding at his men.

Dean turned around trying to make a quick escape, when Castiel singled him out. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“How’s your ankle?”

“It’s fine. Cas, I’m fine, don’t you worry.” It wasn’t a lie. It was so much better already. Dean only hoped that it would be good enough come the time to move out.

“You’d tell me if there’s anything alright?”

“I will.”

“How’s Bambi?” The question was sudden, Castiel’s blue eyes flickered to Dean. Dean swallowed hard, his throat dry. He wondered if Cas knew.

He frowned at Cas, raising an eyebrow. “What’s with Bambi?”

“I mean, how much do you need him in your platoon, because as you know, I lost a lot of men in two and three platoons. I could use him there.” Cas looked at him, unfaltering.

Shit, he really meant it.

“I’m sorry, Cas, but Bambi is not up for discussion. He’s valuable to my platoon, too.” Dean knew that Cas was the CO. He knew that if Cas wanted Bambi in another platoon, he could just fucking do it, and Dean could do nothing against it. His only hope was that Cas was still his friend and would act like it. He always used to consult him and thought highly of Dean.

“That’s what I thought.” Cas lowered his gaze and fished out a cigarette tin from his webbing before he flickered open the tin and tugged a cigarette between his teeth. “Just wanted to ask.”

“Sure.” Dean nodded, and made his way out with his hands full of mail from home.

Dean made his rounds, dropping the mail off to his men. They eagerly tore open the envelopes, swallowing down the words they read. Some of them laughed, some of them had tears in their eyes.

He saw Bambi, sitting by the fire, his gaze fixed on the flames that were dancing, making his face light up in a warm glow. Looking at the fires reflection in his large eyes made Dean shift his weight, he decided that there was no time like the present to talk to Bambi. Talk about what happened on that day in the alley. Clear the air. He avoided it for too long already and hell, he still had to work with the guy.  He wanted it out of the way. Dean wasn’t really a poster child for healthy communication, he knew that, but he was a leader in the damn war and he needed to act like one.

“Sir, anything else?” Harvelle asked eyeing Dean when he didn’t react to their questions. To be frank, he didn’t even realize they were talking to him.

Dean blinked. “Huh? No. As you were.”

The soldiers went on with their duties, some were cleaning their weapons, some opted to write back to their families and sweethearts.

“Bambi,” He approached the small private who still watched the flames and cupped a metal mug in his hand.

“Sir?” He was at attention immediately, like he’d being drilled in Basic, and then when Bambi looked at Dean, the small private grinned.

Dean put a hand on the private’s shoulder. “Everything ok?”

“Uh..Fine.” Bambi put down his coffee. “Just lost in thoughts, sir.”

It was almost funny, Dean thought. Bambi’d been lost in thoughts and Dean’d been lost in him.

He was curious what Bambi was thinking about. Was he thinking about what happened in the alley? Maybe he thought about it as much as Dean was? Because even if Dean didn’t want to think about it anymore, the last thing on his mind before he laid himself to sleep is of the private’s gentle lips and how they felt on his.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Dean asked him, squeezing his shoulder a little, and Bambi looked up to him. Bambi’s grin was gone, but he nodded. “Let’s take a walk.” Dean suggested and began to walk ahead.

Bambi caught up to him quickly, and was soon walking beside him, his hand in his pockets.

“You sure you alright?” Dean asked after a while as they took a turn into a street which was less busy. Abandoned and destroyed buildings left and right of them.

“Sir, I’m fine.”

I’m fine. Dean knew that saying. It meant that nothing was fine, but he’d take it and didn’t ask more.

Dean needed to be somewhere more private for him to talk to Bambi about what happened. He knew that he couldn’t risk someone eavesdropping on them, because the last thing he needed was being thrown into jail for being queer - which he was not.

He tried and opened up the next door he found that was still in its hinge and peeked inside. When he saw that it was clear, he opened up enough for Bambi to step in and Bambi did it without questioning him.

Bambi stood in the room, turning to face Dean as he closed the door behind him.

Dean took a step closer to the private. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he didn’t even know why. He felt blood rushing through his head and he couldn’t hear anything other than the drumming of his heart that, by the growing smirk on Bambi’s full lips, he assumed that Bambi could hear it too.

Dean cleared his throat before he spoke.

“Listen,” He started to say and took a deep breathe. Hell, he’d been practicing before. He had this whole speech prepared to tell to Bambi; had his words carefully arranged to tell the private that he was not queer and the kiss was a mistake and he didn’t mean to; but it seemed like now, his mind was blank.  

“I’m listening, Lieutenant.” Bambi was still smirking. He didn’t wear a helmet for once. They didn’t have to around there, and Dean could see that the private’s hair was slowly growing out. It was sticking out a bit over his ears, and it looked really cute on him.

Dean shook his head. No, shit… he couldn’t think that the private was cute. Especially then. Not when he was supposed to be shutting it down.

Dean swallowed again. “I..uh.. I wanted to talk to you about what happened.”

“What did happen, Sir?” Bambi raised an eyebrow with a grin.

That stupid grin.

“Bambi, the kiss.” Dean hissed. Bambi was clearly fucking with him and Dean was slowly growing impatient.

“Oh, that…” The private had his lips in a tight line, his cheeks puffed out as if he’s trying to hold back a laughter.

“Look, I’m really not queer,” Heat rose up Dean’s neck and cheeks, his heart still beating fast and he thought, well, I’m really not? “It was a mistake.”

“A mistake… huh!” Bambi exhaled the huh empathetically, raising an eyebrow at Dean again, paired with a frown. “And there I thought that you were in love with me, Lieutenant.”

Dean gasped, his eyes widening. It felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs.

The private’s face turned red from holding in his laughter.

“Just kidding.” Bambi doubled over, laughing hard then. He gathered his breath and he looked at Dean smugly after he composed himself.

He exhaled and tried not to look into Bambi’s big doe eyes. Instead, he looked at Bambi’s boots. “We shouldn’t. It won’t happen again.”

“Sure,” Bambi shrugged nonchalantly and it drove Dean nuts. Why was the private shitting him? Did he not realize how serious it was? What was at stake?

Bambi was standing in the middle of the room, a wicked grin on his face and even though Dean said that it won’t happen again, all he could think about now was that he wanted it to happen again. He wanted to just grab the privates soft cheeks and smash his lips against Bambi’s pink and plum ones.

Dean balanced his weight from one foot to another. His ankle is doing much much better already.

“I’m really not… you know, interested… in men.” Dean muttered half heartedly, taking a step towards the small private to try to intimidate him.

“Me neither.” Bambi was still grinning very arrogantly, when he too, took a step towards Dean. Unfazed by Dean’s demeanor.

“But the kiss,” Dean began, as he took another step. All of a sudden his mouth felt too dry and he licked his lip deliberately.

“What kiss?” Bambi asked when he took another step and then the private echoed Dean’s lip licking and he flashed his teeth and fuck… Dean’s heart picked up speed. The private’s lips were slick and shiny and it looked more kissable than before.

“Bambi! Focus!” Dean was now so close to the small private and he could smell the coffee Bambi just drank a moment before when the private let out a deep breath.

“Oh..,” The private’s lips curled up into a grin. “You mean that kiss!” Bambi giggled and Dean really didn’t know how he should react to that until Bambi added “It was a nice kiss, sir.”

And if Dean was blushing before, he was a tomato now. He swallowed the lump that built up in his throat as he tried to form something coherent to say. Something he could come up with as an answer to that, but Dean’s brain failed him once more. It was a nice kiss. Before Dean even realized what he was doing, he scooped Bambi up into his arms and smashed his mouth against Bambi’s.

Bambi hooked his feet at Dean’s back and his arm around Dean’s neck, clinging to Dean and opened his mouth for Dean to lick into. He walked the couple of steps to the next wall and pushed Bambi against it while he kissed the private hungrily, his tongue tasting the familiar taste of burnt coffee. Bambi moaned into Dean’s mouth as he nibbled at Dean’s bottom lip with his sharp teeth.

The kiss was all tongue and teeth. Raw and sweet at the same time, and Dean groaned as Bambi sucked in his tongue, making him forgetting his own damn name.

Bambi cupped Dean’s cheek, his tongue pushing against the roof of Dean’s mouth and Dean ground his hips up, searching for friction the private would provide him, but then something was not right.

Dean stopped dead in his tracks. Pulling his face away from the private. His bulge would have met another bulge when he ground his hips up, but there was no resistance. Nothing. Nix.

Dean’s eye widened as he looked into those big eyes of Bambi. He was met by a stupid grin on the private’s face. “What the fuck?” Dean muttered out of breath, his forehead resting on Bambi’s as his gaze travel down between them.

Bambi giggled then and Dean started to blush more and more.

“Bambi, what’s going on? Where’s your fucking dick?” Dean can’t believe he would ever say a sentence like this in his life.

“Uh..I guess I left it back in Trenton, sir.” There was a cheeky wink and Dean didn’t know if he should punch the private or kiss Bambi stupid for that. He was confused and as of yet, undecided.

“What the fuck is going on? Are you… wait, no.” Dean shook his head, not sure what was going on and he was irritated to say the least.

“Come on, sir. You really didn’t notice? You’re a smart man. Come on now, show me that you can put two and two together.” Bambi cupped Dean’s cheek again, making Dean look at him. His brow furrowed but the private’s thumb painting circles on his scruff and strange enough, it calmed him down and put him at ease.

Dean searched his brain, trying to put two and two together.

“Fuck! No shit!”

There it was. The realization that hit him like a freight train and Bambi laughed at him now before she pecked his lips again, and Dean muttered underneath her lips. “How did you get in?”

“Lieutenant, you just have to know one thing,” She said, her eyes glistening in the dim light of the room as she winked at him and smiled ever so sweetly. “Never, ever, underestimated me.”

And then Dean rested his forehead back on hers and chuckled out a “Yes, Ma’am.” before he bumped their noses together.

Bambi kissed him again now, and this time, the kiss was different. It wasn’t laced with a weird feeling of doubt, fear and uncertainty anymore. It was more passionate, more sweet, demanding even. Dean broke the kiss just to be able to breath and look at her again. “Fuck, what are you doing to me?” He murmured, kissing her cheeks and down along her jaw to bury his face in the crook of her neck. “As much as I want to spend more time with you, Bambi, but I think we need to get back.”

Bambi giggled before Dean let her down. They’ve been away for too long and it’s close to dinner time. There would be another opportunity where they would have more time together, Dean was sure of that. Even if it would mean that Dean needed to convince Cas to double up sentry.

Dean tried to rearrange his combats to conceal the straining bulge that he wished he could act upon, before he looked at how she straighten her jacket. “But hey, I told you that I wasn’t queer, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, sure.” She laughed at him with a shrug, “Told ya I wasn’t queer either.”

Dean opened the door for her but pulled her back by her arm before she could step out and kissed her one last time. He couldn’t get enough of her, Dean knew that much and maybe it would be his downfall.

They talked on the way back to the campfire. No, of course she doesn’t want anyone to find out and she’ll rip Dean a new one should he tell it to anyone. Dean made a mental note of that, because he was sure that Bambi would be true to her words.

No, she doesn’t want for him to send her home. It’s not that he didn’t try to tell her that he could send her home with a lame excuse.

No, she doesn’t want special treatment, but she was glad that the secret was out so at least she had someone who knew why she might not want to do things with the others. She explained why she did it and her motives were sincere. Dean would have done the same if he was her. Hell, he was sure that he probably would. Knowing that Sam was out there and he had to sit at home because he was a damn girl? Nah, he would have done the same or at least he would have tried. He probably wouldn’t have come that far.

They parted and when she walked back to her friends, Dean watched her go. He was glad that he really wasn’t queer because damn, how could he tell Sam about that one. He was glad that he didn’t have to. But on the other hand, there was a new problem. Bambi was a freaking girl. A girl that he liked and fuck, he didn’t want to get attached during war, but he gets what he gets, right?

“And there was this broad, right? Fuck, her hips as wide as my shoulders,” Trenton was telling them about a conquest in England and they were all grinning, including Jamie. They all knew that Trenton was all talk, but they let him because his stories were amusing. Now, Jamie was there that night, and she knew exactly what happened but she kept mum.

Trenton went on, “Fucking child bearing hips, man, and all I thought was that I wanted to give her the children she deserved because those hips should have been illegal!”

“Cut the chase, Trenton! Did you?” Dopey was leaning closer to Trenton and Jamie could see that he was obviously on edge to know if Trenton did in fact, bed that broad. Maybe it was the lack of entertainment while they are awaiting to move out. Meaning, there was none. They kept each other entertained by telling stories and jokes and honestly, Jamie thought that she heard them all.

“Of course I did, man! Pumped her full. Maybe I’ll be a dad real soon!” Trenton chirped, a shit eating grin on his face.

There were cheers of oooohhhhh’s and uuuuhhh’s. And even though Jamie knew that it was a total lie, she kept it to herself. There was no way that she’s going to steal Trenton’s thunder. She’d let him shine. The war is though enough and hell, she didn’t even know if half of the stories of the others were accurate, so.

“What’s so funny?” Jamie knew that rough voice. It was Dean’s. She looked behind her to see him and Lieutenant Balthazar balancing trays of food. Gabriel and Castiel were still in line.

“Trenton is telling us about his baby mama he left back in England, sir.” Dopey shouted and smiled brightly at Trenton, but Trenton didn’t return the smile. He was a little embarrassed, and Jamie could tell that by the blush that started to spread on Trenton’s face.

“Is that so?” Balthazar chuckled, and instead of them going to another table where the other NCO’s of their company were sitting, Balthazar put his tray down next to Jamie. “I wanna hear all about it.” And they all scooched up to accommodate the Lieutenants and the ones who were still waiting in line.

Dean was sitting across of Balthazar and maybe Jamie just imagined it but he had a little smile on his face when their eyes met.

“Uh..sir, nothing really worth telling.” Trenton stammered a little. Sure thing was that he can tell the story to his mates, but for him, it was a whole other thing telling it to his superiors. Trenton didn’t know where the line was and he didn’t want to cross it and anger them.

Dean chuckled at that. “Come on, Trenton. Share it with the class!”

“Al-alright, but you asked for it, sir.”

Dean and Balthazar looked at each other, raising their eyebrows and shrugged before they turned their attention to Trenton and he began to tell them the story again.

Jamie didn’t listen. She had heard it too many times already.

At the end, they were all laughing again and she wondered if they were laughing to make Trenton feel better.

“Was that your first time?” Balthazar asked bluntly. He was like that. Balthazar always was a bit rude and a little straight forward. Jamie was glad that she wasn’t in his platoon.

“Balth,” Dean tried to defuse the situation, because everyone could see how uncomfortable Trenton was feeling.

Balthazar shrugged at Dean. “What? It was just a question. My god…”

“I think, with all due respect, sir. It’s none of your business.” Jamie jumped in and turned to look at Balthazar, now the shit eating grin was her face.

Balthazar was speechless for a moment and the distraction came in the forms of Lieutenants Gabriel and Novak who sat down at the table.

“I think Blum’s right, Balth,” Castiel took a bite from his food, “You’re being an asshole.”

Balthazar looked at Jamie, grinning back now. “You think I’m rude too, Bambi?”

“Balth,” Dean said again, this time, a little louder, a little stern and it made Balthazar blink a couple of times. Jamie knew that he was probably pissed that Dean jumped in.

“Yes, sir.” Jamie’s voice was calm.

Balthazar looked at her, and then he started to laugh, throwing his head back dramatically and everyone was just looking at him, waiting for him to calm himself down. She raised an eyebrow. She thought the behavior was weird because it really wasn’t funny.

As Jamie thought, it wouldn’t be long until Balthazar would pick on her again and she was right. He turned his attention back to her, “And you, Bambi? Did you ever get laid or are you going to die a virgin in this war?”

“Balth!” Dean stood up from his seat and smashed his fist on the table angrily, spilling some drinks on impact. The whole hall went quiet. “Shut the fuck up! If you want to shit on a platoon, do that to your own. These are my men and they deserve to be treated with some goddamn respect!”

Dean lowered himself back to his seat, as he let his words sink in, and Jamie grinned before she spoke with a steady voice. “With all due respect, sir, first of all, Bambi is the name that only Lieutenant Winchester and my platoon are allowed to call me. Second of all, sir, I’ve probably bedded more broads than you because I’m cute and you’re just an asshole.” She grinned wide and added “At least that’s what your mom said to me.”

The table was still and Balthazar gasped. Nobody dared to say a word until a laughter broke the silence. Novak, who knew Balthazar since they went to Kindergarten together had a laughing fit, snorting even signaling that it was safe for everyone else to join in.

Dean smiled at her, his green eyes glistening, silently telling her that she did good.

CHAPTER 8

[desperationandgin]

Market Price (Modern AU Outlander Fic; Jamie x Claire - COMPLETE)

Chapter Six: In the Morning

Rated: M (not explicit)

Also Read on: AO3

Previous Chapter

She could watch him sleep forever. She’s always been an early riser with her work schedule and she assumes he is too, being a farmer. So, Claire indulges while she can, laying on her side facing him as the sun begins to peek through her window shades. It’s just enough light to see his face, to see the way his lips turn up into a small smile and there’s such a swell of affection at that, wondering what he’s dreaming of. Reaching out, her fingers touch his curls lightly, pushing them away from his forehead before twisting one lightly around her finger.

“It’s no wonder ye had a condition to no’ hog the sheets. You have them wrapped around ye like a burrito.”

Claire looks down at herself and it’s true so she opens them, inviting him closer, sighing when he wraps his arms around her. “Well, you did say you run hot,” she counters, smiling with her head tucked against his chest. She tries to think back to the last leisurely morning she had in someone’s arms and nothing quite comes to mind. Mornings past consisted of somewhat formal greetings and questions about how she slept before promptly getting up, each of them readying themselves for separate days that never intersected again until she brought herself home from the hospital. Now, she’s honest to God snuggling. “I go back to work soon. Lunch picnics and early evening dates might go out of the window.”

Jamie’s fingers glide through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp as they do. “We could settle for midnight dates of making sure ye eat and sleep, then.” His voice is still low and gravelly with drowsiness and he nuzzles in against her temple.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” she admits, fingers gliding along his chest slowly before tilting her head up enough to see his face. “Would you, after a while?” Frank had grown to resent it, never made plans with her, to try and accommodate her. So many dinners with ‘colleagues’ she always wondered, in the back of her mind, if he was trying to replace her once he realized being married wouldn’t slow her down.

Silence falls over them both for a few moments but his fingers in her hair never falter. “I think, Sassenach, that you’re a rare woman. Full of piss and vinegar and wi’ a heart that has more to give, only no one’s ever given ye a chance.” His hand moves between them, over her chest to press against that steady thumping. “A heart is a delicate thing, ye ken. Especially one such as yours.”

Her breath, caught in her throat, makes her words sound quieter, more unsure than she means to when she speaks. “And how is my heart?”

“A wee bit bruised. It was no’ taken care of properly before. What are missed meals and long work hours compared to the way ye throw yer head back and laugh when I’ve said something that really gets ye going? Christ, to hear that laugh and see that smile, the way yer eyes go bonny and bright, would be worth a thousand rescheduled date nights.”

Claire’s head tucks under his chin, her voice muffled now when she speaks. “Do you always say such perfect things?”

“No. I suppose the inspiration from last night has carried over. It’s only…” Jamie pauses, then sits up, gently placing her on the pillow so he can look at her, see her face and watch her eyes. “It’s only that I’ve no’ ever felt this exact way before. As though ye make everything seem brighter. Ye dinna even have to be physically close. Just the way I ken I’ll see ye again is enough. Although, physically close is no’ a bad way to be.”

Reaching out, her fingers lightly move along his jaw, eyes moving over his face, taking in every feature before she finally speaks again. “Did you know you have the most incredible bone structure I’ve ever seen in my life?”

His eyes had closed before, to concentrate on the feel of her touch but now they open to look at her curiously. “Are ye always this complimentary when a man confesses to ye such deep feelings?”

“No one’s ever confessed something like that to me before. Did I not handle it right?” she asks even as her body shifts and she relocates over him, hips settling against his.

“It was a solid effort, and no one’s ever complimented my bone structure before.” Jamie’s hands move down the smooth expanse of her back until his hands can rest at her hips where his thumbs trace slow circles against her skin. “It was all true, by the way. I’m no’ sure I could ever let you go now.”

Going still, Claire studies a spot on his chest, tries to put into words what he does to her. “This frightens me, I think. I don’t mean I’m afraid of you, I mean I’ve always thought feeling this way this quickly wasn’t possible. That it was something better left for romance novels. Christ, even saying that out loud feels cliche.”

Reaching for her hand, Jamie presses her palm to his and watches the way they seem to fit together before bending his fingers to lace through hers. “I dinna ken what it is between us, whatever it is pushing us together, but it’s there.”

Looking at their hands, she can’t help the knot of feeling unsure in her stomach, of fear and right on its heels, excitement. “It feels right, Jamie.” Slowly, her hips rock; not urgently, just a slow back and forth. “But I can’t help but worry that after the weekend is over and I go back to work, you’ll be frustrated.”

His free hand, the one that’s been planted at her hip all this time, moves up her side slowly. His thumb grazes the side of her breast, sneaks around to stroke a nipple and he watches it harden before shifting his gaze to meet hers. “What will ye do, the first time I cancel on ye while ye’re off because I need to put together a last-minute restaurant order?”

Claire contemplates that, letting out a soft breath. “I would swing by and drop off a meal. Try not to interfere too much if there’s nothing I could do to help.”

“And what about a weekend where I’m so tired, I dinna want to bother wi’ going out once the farmer’s market has closed? When I only want to go home and shower and laze about all day?”

She catches on and smiles softly, tugging his hand to her lips and kissing the back of it. “That depends. Do you care for company?”

“Oh, aye. I’ll always care for yer company.” His hand cups her breast now, hips moving with more intent, watching as her eyes flutter closed then open again, their color darker with building arousal. “Do ye have an answer then? Something to quiet the worry?”

Claire leans over him a moment, close enough so that he can draw a nipple between his lips, understanding without her having to say a word. Lips parting and eyes closed, her response is breathless but unmistakable in its truth. “I trust you, Jamie.” Reaching to the nightstand, her fingers close around a condom and she opens it, scooting back to slide it over him, hard and wanting. Both hands plant on his chest, continuing to rock, to tease as she watches him.

“I trust ye too, Sassenach. I have since ye burned that lamb.” He raises his head to lavish attention to her opposite breast, groaning against her as his hands move to her hips once more, trying to keep her balanced. “Weel, I dinna trust ye wi’ cooking.”

Her laugh is stilted because it comes with a soft moan. “Why--why did that make you trust me?”

Sneaking a hand between them, his thumb seeks and finds her clit, rubbing slow circles there as he watches a flush spread on her skin. “Because ye trusted if ye messed it up I would no’ call the whole thing off.”

When she tries to speak, her words don’t quite make it as she whimpers and closes her eyes. Fighting for an actual thought process, she keeps rocking against his hand. “I was surprised. When you came back,” she admits. They’d known one another less than twelve hours; he’d had no obligation to return and with so much food.

“Couldna let ye starve,” he retorts, moving his fingers faster, delighting in the way she gasps loudly and the way her lips part. It’s an odd thing to notice, perhaps, the way freckles fall over her cheekbones and across her nose, but notice he does as he’s touching her, trying to make her come undone.

“Jamie, I want you inside of me.” She doesn’t even recognize her own voice, breathless and higher pitched.

“No,” he decides on a whim, shaking his head. “I want to watch ye.”

Claire’s eyes open, forehead creasing only as she studies his face to see if he’s serious. When she realizes he is, for a moment she wonders; what does she sound like, look like, feel like? And then, just as quickly, she doesn’t care because he smiles and his fingers move, touch sure and strong. Every stroke feels like he’s leaving a trail of fire in his wake and never in her life has she felt so exposed. But Christ, the way he makes her feel, the way he’s so sure of how he’s moving, watching her face, adjusting to how she responds. She’s positive it’s the fastest she’s ever come undone in her life. He leaves her panting, gasping, and still able to nod at an unasked question as his hand moves and his hips press closer.

The way he fills her makes both of them sigh, her body bowing until her forehead can press to his. The night before was hurried and frenzied, a getting to know one another that resulted in clashing teeth and frantic touching. There is none of that now. Now she realizes, as she pulls back just enough to see his face, that he’s making love to her. He’s trying to touch a part of her that no one else ever has, a part of her that he can keep. Gasping his name has him pushing up more urgently, has her sitting upright and pressing her hands to his stomach as they move in tandem. The need for friction and heat overrides slow and easy and she hears the sounds that tumble out of her, words that are nothing but moans mixed with pleas for more and more until there’s nothing. The first spark of her pleasure begins low in her pelvis and arcs up her spine, exploding out of her in a loud cry that’s half his name, half Christ as her body moves out of her own control. She feels his breathing change, can hear him panting, is aware that one hand stays low on her back while the other moves up to tangle into her hair. Claire hears him and she’s not sure he’s speaking English as he comes, his entire body tense until the only sound is their ragged breaths, the sound of her own heartbeat echoing in her ears.

When his arms tug her down against his chest she doesn’t protest it, too boneless to move away or to the side. They just woke but she can’t move, and so she drifts with eyes closed, listening to the staccato beating of his heart until the rhythm evens and slows a bit. She isn’t aware of how much time has passed when he speaks quietly.

“Sassenach?”

She hums, smiling at his chosen name for her that will, apparently, stick. “Hmm?” No words have yet found their way back to her.

“Do you ken I wil no’ expect ye to be less than the person ye’d like if ye decide to keep me around?”

For a few moments she’s quiet, but then, keeping her head down against his chest, she finally finds her ability to speak. “A part of me still worries, Jamie. I can’t help it right now. This week has been something I never expected.” A week. And not even a full one. “But for the record, I’ve decided to keep you around.”

At her words, his arms wind tighter around her and he kisses the side of her head, only barely containing a smile. “Oh? What was it that won ye over?”

“The sex isn’t bad.”

“Is no’ bad?”

“Is incredible,” she amends, finally rolling so that she can face him, propping herself up on her elbow.

“Much better,” Jamie decides, mirroring her position after relieving himself of the condom, tying it, tossing it in the bin under the nightstand. “Is that it, then? Ye found someone to properly bed ye and ye’re set?”

Claire smiles, letting out a soft breath and reaching out to push her fingers through his curls. “No, that isn’t it.” Her eyes search his, trying to make sense of the thoughts running through her mind. “I know you won’t try to make me into someone I’m not, Jamie. And I know you respect my job just as I respect yours.”

“I ken I’ll have to earn all of yer trust, Claire. But I promise I’ll no’ go anywhere for as long as it takes. If ye trust that for now, then the rest will come later,” Jamie assures her, reaching out to tuck curls behind her ear. “Beyond that, as I said Sassenach, I canna let ye go now.”

She laughs softly and lets her head fall down against her pillow. “Why is that?” she asks, amused and smitten. Happy.

“Because I’m no’ an eejit.” He seals that declaration with a kiss. “And ye kiss me like yer verra life depends on it. I do like that.”

“Oh, do you?” she asks even as she tugs him closer to press her lips to his until they’re both breathless.

“Exactly like that. I canna go another day in my life wi’ out that.” His hand moves down her back and over her hip, pulling her closer and pressing a kiss to her neck.

They stay content, wrapped in one another and touching, kissing, until she lets out a soft breath, reveals a new observation. “Did you know you smile in your sleep?” she asks with a smile of her own.

“Do I? No one’s ever told me as such before. Do I snore?”

“Mhmm, like a pot-bellied pig.”

Jamie gasps, offended. “I do no’, it was a trick question I already ken the answer to.”

“How do you know what sort of sounds you make in your sleep?” she protests, dodging fingers aiming to tickle.

“I’m no’ able to snore when my teeth are too busy chattering because ye tricked me about the conditions regarding yer blankets.”

When she laughs this time it's loud and uncontrolled, her eyes closing with it. She can feel him laughing with her though he stops just to watch her. To take in the roundness of the apples of her cheeks, the way her chin dimples.

“Ye’re the bonniest lass I’ve ever seen, Claire. Everything, from the curl of yer hair to that verra round arse.”

“Oh, stop,” she laughs, even as she lets her hand glide up and down his back slowly. Her fingers trace along the line of a scar, one of so many as she watches his face.

“Ye dinna mind them?” he asks, meaning the scars.

“No, Jamie. How could I?” With her free hand, she strokes his cheek, then drags her fingers up his jawline. “They’re a part of you that makes up a whole. When I touch them, I know you should have died, but you didn’t.”

“Verra nearly, and the pain, it made me want nothing more than to die. But I did no such thing. And now, here I am wi’ ye. In yer arms.”

Claire smiles softly and slides closer, so close that her forehead presses to his. “Here you are. With me.” Their lips meet and she wraps around him, an effort to be as close as possible. “Do you need to go?” she asks quietly. “Duties to tend to at the farm?”

Jamie’s face presses in against her neck. “Aye, quite a few duties.”

Her nose nuzzles against his, eyes closing. “Do you want me to let you go?”

His head drops, pressing a kiss to the curve of her neck.

“No, Sassenach. Dinna let go.”

EPILOGUE

This fic is now complete as was planned and written, however, look for an epilogue tomorrow and a couple of one-offs set in this same ‘universe.’ Thank you to everyone who read and shared and commented. You made my first journey into Outlander fic an incredible one! My ask box is open for prompts or anything else if you ever feel so inclined!

[ozsaill]

Holiday gifts that cruisers want

As avowed minimalists, this feels slightly awkward putting a post of holiday gifts together. But the reality is that there are useful needs to meet in a life afloat. This peek into what works hopefully aids those anticipating a similar path: a personal look what’s worked for us, and what’s on our wish list, as idea fodder for gifts to the the sailors in your life. It’s organized into four angles:

Best additions to Totem this year

Wish list: functional gifts

Wish list: what the crew really wants!

Especially for kids 

I. Best additions to Totem this year

This is a shortlist of items that had the biggest positive impact on board in the last year. Some are practical, some are just for fun / quality of life, a few are a bit of both.

Paddleboard – finally got one on board after The Great Kayak Debacle of 2016. Weighing pros/cons, we picked the durability of a fixed board over a space-saving inflatable. A shorter (10’) Jimmy Styx model (year-end closeout!) is right-sized for our humans and has provided hours of fun and fitness. Siobhan paddles in front of Totem, photo at top.

Underwater dome lens – talk about bang for the buck. Only $50 to get some of my favoritest pictures ever. Just fit the GoPro inside and swim! It’s so flippin’ cool to have split images with above/below water…like this one showing Totem  floating in crystal Bahamian water while a nurse shark dozes on the sand below.

Pic made possible with a dome port lens over GoPro. Me on deck, Jamie in the water; Staniel Cay, Bahamas.

Winches – Jamie likes to fondle our new Andersen stainless steel winches. No, seriously. Aside from the fact they are incredibly sexy mirror-finish stainless, the engineering of these makes them a better mousetrap, starting with guts that require less maintenance. Ribs on the drum don’t need as many wraps for sufficient friction, and they’re kinder to lines than conventional drum texturing. Jamie is all the warm fuzzies from that ribbed drum. I kinda want to get a lascivious picture of him with one.

Mantus scuba– we used to wish for dive gear on Totem, but it never made sense; a mix of upfront cost, equipment x 5 crew, limited space, and just not being die-hard divers. But we do really like getting underwater…a lot! Adding a pair of Mantus tanks has been perfect. Good fun for more marine exploring beyond our freediving skills, plus peace of mind as added safety equipment (invaluable if an anchor fouled below freediving depth / hang time capability).

Kids dive with Mantus scuba. There’s that dome port lens again too!

ACR ResQLink+. This personal locater beacon (PLB) was added to our safety kit for taking off to the Bahamas and beyond. My worst nightmare is losing on-watch crew overboard; I still worry when Jamie’s on watch and I’m “sleeping” off watch – these help me actually relax, knowing he’s basically attached to an EPIRB.

Drone – we picked up a Phantom 3 pro during the post-holiday-sales last year. I know, have been lame about sharing the footage (will provide room & board on Totem for anyone who can train us up!) but – WOW. The images are amazing! I love the bird’s eye view it offers of our life afloat! New Years Resolution: learn editing and share some videos. I’m not kidding about hosting someone who can school us! (Aline are you reading?! )

Culebra, Puerto Rico

Dinghy. When our trusty Avon finally gave up (well, it was 19 years old) in Thailand, the Highfield we replaced it with was… suboptimal. Not big enough, didn’t ride as well. A dinghy is one of the most frequently used bits of gear on board so we felt the gap. The 10.5’ AB (aluminum, double floor, bow locker) we picked up at Tradewind Yachting Services in Nanny Cay in September is AWESOME.

TOTEM shirts! New earlier this year, we adore these super-soft, organic cotton shirts and LOVE seeing people wear them. If you order Totem gear (Ts, caps and a hemp market bag too), send us a picture! 

Show your (neutral, water-based) colors with a yummy soft Totem Tshirt!

II. Wish list: practical

The next set… well, they aren’t exactly sexy holiday gifts. But the way our family looks at the world is in more practical term (I just realized how crazy that probably sounds to a lot of readers- yes, chucking convention to live on a boat with no fixed address is very practical. Really!): these are the practical wish-list expenditures. Right now we’re saving all our pennies to transit the Panama Canal but; some of these we expect (chaps, shade) others are less likely.

Dinghy chaps. Fabric covers fitted to the hypalon tubes extend their life by preventing chafe and reducing UV exposure. These are labor intensive and custom made, haven’t rationalized this expense just yet.

Outboard. Dinghy theme lately? Our outboard has been struggling for over a year, something that dependably gets a full load on a plane would be sweet. This 15hp Yamaha would do us right.

Repaint Totem’s hull. It’s so beat up, the guys working in the shipyard in Grenada were laughing at us—all in good fun—and asking if they could give her a makeover! Hey, there’s a dugout canoe associated with almost every ding, those are good memories…OK yeah it would be nice to have a pretty boat again.

Cockpit shade. We have an AWESOME, pretty new (2016) bimini frame (thank you to the great guys at TurboXS!)…but it still lacks the whole fabric-shade-that-attaches-to-it part. It will be really nice to get the last mile of this addition completed.

Sailrite. We’ve gone back and forth on these durable sewing machines. Cons: machines need to be used to stay workable; they are heavy, and they take up a chunk of storage. But in the Pro column: Jamie could do a lot with one, like dinghy chaps and cockpit shade! He’s a sailmaker, used to be a hands-on in the pit guy and knows his way around a pro machine. Our M.O. to date: Jamie fixes other cruiser’s Sailrites that have stopped working after languishing in a locker by bartering for usage to get a project done.

Making our dodger soft sides in Jacksonville: thanks Patty!

Countertops. The formica installed in Thailand, unfortunately, is not good. It’s a long story. But the formica is nearly worn through, the trim wasn’t done right, and a bunch of other stuff. For the Someday files. Solid surfacing would be so dreamy!

Solid state external drives. The movable parts on hard drives, in computers and external drives, have shorter lifespans with the small constant motions of a boat. SSDs would be less prone to failure. The multiple of expense is unfortunate (and almost rationalized by failed drives!). The only downside: external SSDs are mostly small, so you’d need a bunch to accomodate all the photo and video files a family accumulates. Sample: this Samsung 2TB drive, ~$800.

III. Wish list: just for fun

What’s your heart’s desire? I asked everyone on board to contribute their “wish” gift idea for something they have zero need for, but a dose of desire. This turned out to be difficult: we are pretty good at being satisfied with what we have instead of craving what the boat next door has! But there are some great ways to be indulgent on board. The top five are our personal picks, the rest are from family brainstorming.

Niall: PADI dive certification. (shhh: I think we figured out how to do this affordably enough in Bonaire next month! He doesn’t read the blog – don’t spill the beans anyone!!)

Mairen: horseback riding. (still with the experiences. C’mon Mairen it’s about Stuff! She never got beyond “more art supplies then?”)

Siobhan: a puppy. KIDDING. Except she wasn’t. Her BATNA wish is to have any book she wants for a year. Qualified with “you know I use the library mostly.” People, she reads a LOT. Thank goodness for ebook loans from our hometown library!

Jamie: Code zero with a continuous line furler on a sprit. Because the sailmaker’s boat is a little bit like the cobblerss kids… often wanting. Here’s why Jamie thinks this is a winner sail for cruisers.

Behan: fancypants freediving fins, and lessons to go with them. (As long as we’re daydreaming, I’d learn from supermama and freediving champion Ashley Chapman at Evolve Freediving, with a whole- family lesson!)

More Totem crew wish-list picks that may generate ideas for giftees on your list:

Water-friendly drone. We’re having so much fun with the ‘regular’ drone, imagine one that lands on the water, or follows behind the dinghy – saltwater spray be damned?! This very cool looking Splash Drone 3 lands on the water and floats. Whoa. Or the QuadH2O: double whoa.

Mini home theater projector. We watched movies outside on the Delos deck once upon a time; I harbor dreams of hosting anchorage movie nights with a film displayed on a sail “screen.” One that’s bright enough, not to big, and doesn’t draw too much power, decent speakers…or 3 out of 4. Like this maybe (and wow, that’s a good price!)?

New computer. OK, not family but Jamie. The Toughbook that is our navigation computer doubles as his personal machine, but doesn’t play well with Windows 10. Newer models do. Still a big fan of Toughbooks for their durability on board.

Camera equipment. Better underwater shots with an Olympus Tough: the GoPro is awesome for environmental shots, but fails on macro, and those are fun to take underwater. Above sea level, I traded in all my Nikon gear to migrate towards Sony’s mirrorless a7 series, and will always be drooling over lenses.

A dozen Luci lights. We have one and it’s fantastic: indulgent wish list version,- how cool would a strand of them be hung tiki-light style around the cockpit?! 

IV. Just for kids

The genesis of this year’s list is a question fom one of our coaching clients. Less than a year from taking off cruising and looking for Christmas gift ideas for their four children, they had this assignment for our kids: “What is 1-2 things do they wished they had or have had on the boat, and what are their favorite 3 things/toys they cannot live without?” Simplifying slightly I asked our kids what things on the boat were most important to them. Turns out phrasing matters. Answer #1: friends. Their friend showed up a few minutes later; asked the same questions she looked at me as if to say “duh” and said – “My family, of course.” It took a lot of prompting to come up with Things You Put Under a Christmas tree. But we got there, and this is good!

Quality snorkeling gear: mask, snorkel, fins…also good rashguard and wetsuits. Shorties are great for extending in-water time! Many cruisers (and most boat kids) spend a lot of time in the water; get good stuff that won’t fall apart, it’s harder after you leave. The kids really like the masks they got from Divers Direct in Florida this year, and they’re very reasonably priced (holiday sale: $40?!).

Beach fun: boogie boards and beach bocce are our favorites.

Fishing kit. Get kids their own tackle box, handline, a net to grab stuff that goes overboard; even a Hawaiian sling spear if they can handle it.

Field guides. Not kid books, but GOOD field guides. Identification of underwater life was a big hit from the time we started cruising with littles. Region-specific matters, I believe: the Gottshall two-book set is amazing for Pacific Mexico; DeLoach guides rule for the Caribbean: one for Reef Fish, one for Coral, one for, well, everything else (Reef Creatures).

Scooters.  Bikes are impractical; kids like wheels and folding scooters fit. Utility varies by cruising grounds (not a lot of roads in some oceanic regions!), but these are great get-around fun.

Arts & crafts. I’m not very crafty, so packaged kits like Klutz are perfect for me. Getting good materials will serve you later: these watercolors are richly pigmented and last a long time. Oragami, beading, or whatever! There are lists for this in Voyaging with Kids.

Chocolate. Yes this was on their list. Clearly these are my children.

Board games, cards. Our current favorite is Dread Pirate (thank you Sallianne and Doug!). Try cooperative games! Family Pastimes games got us started… Pandemic is the classic. This post about games cruisers play lists a number of other favorites on board.

Legos. Our lego days are over, but the kids know these are huge for the younger set.

Totem and Utopia, rafted up for Thanksgiving last week: because 1) better with friends and 2) drones rock!

Want more ideas?

Here are the Christmas gift posts from the last few years. They’re all aimed at cruisers, but each with a slightly different take:

Gifts that give a little more (2016). Focusing on sourcing gifts that contribute in some way to a greater good than just the Thing.

Gifts under $50 for sailors (2015). Keeping the costs contained! OK, there was one item over $50.

Gifts for cruisers (2014). Tried & true: fun, functional gifts that cruisers can use.

from Sailing Totem http://ift.tt/2hURhhS via IFTTT