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tellerford13 · 4 years ago

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MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 36

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. A/N: Oh My God We’re Back Again. It’s been a long time, but we never lost our love for Mo Astor. We’ve been plotting, and writing, and editing behind the scenes. We’re back to posting once a week. Thank you to all the readers who’ve left comments, favorited, and waited patiently. Grab a drink, sit back, and get ready to become lost in the world we’ve created.

Mo Astor Chapter 36

Jax

It’s been a long time since it was just me and my baby sister. I’m looking forward to the one-on-one, though I’d never admit it out loud. She’s been my rock through some hard times.

I imagine she’d say the same for me. When life around you is constantly shifting, you look to each other to remain stable. That’s something most don’t understand. That bond you have with someone who holds you down through all the bullshit is lifelong. It doesn’t break when you do jail time, have a difference of opinions, or get busy with life. So yeah, I guess civilians right, we ain’t like them.

“Morning,” I call as I walk into the house and disarm and reset the alarm.

“You’re making me regret giving you a key.” I follow her voice into the kitchen.

“You love it when I visit,” I retort.

“Did you tell the incubator I’m coming with you?” She asks cutting straight to the point.

I snicker. “Believe it or not, she prefers you.”

Journee scowls.

“Proves how fucking stupid she is,” she mutters.

“Jesus, Baby J. hold a grudge much?”

“Pot meet kettle. Mr. Let’s measure our dicks with Kick.” She finishes rinsing off her dishes, and piles them into the dishwasher.

“That was setting boundaries.”

“Riiight. Whatever you need to help you sleep at night. At least I own my crazy ass tendencies.” She pouts.

“’Cause that’s better?” I lean against the counter beside her.

“Oh, yeah bro. Always best to know yourself.” She winks

“You’re full of shit.”

“Guess that’s why my eyes are brown, huh? Wait that can’t be true. Cause your eyes are sky blue, J.”

“You’re supposed to be coming along for moral support,” I reminder her wryly.

“I am.” She pats my cheek as we head out of her house towards my bike. “I’m breaking you down to build you up stronger.”

“That’s some fucked up Gemma logic.” I mutter.

“She did raise us to be like her.”

“You say that with a straight face and it becomes a scary story.” She laughs.

“I know.”

“Such a little shit.” I’m smiling as I say it. Like a true little sister, no one can get away with more bullshit than her, and she knows it. It reminds me of the year she and Tommy were as thick as thieves. He was a lot like her in many ways—more soft spoken and thoughtful. As an only kid she had a crazy patience for him, reading him books, and letting him trail along beside her.

Part of me wondered if they’d have ended up together if things were different and she’d be a Teller for another reason. Especially with how things ended up for me and Lee.

I push the thought out of my mind. What if’s did nothing but drive you crazy.

“So, what exactly did I agree to go to anyway?” she asks.

“Don’t you think you should’ve asked that beforehand?” I tease.

She shakes her head. “You know I’m your ride or die.”

“I do. Basic check-up, and then lunch. I get the feeling she’s got some new man.”

She whistles. “Damn that fast?”

“Hey. If it keeps her from dicking with me and Lee, and doesn’t affect my boy, let her be happy.”

“All kidding aside.” She shuts the door to the dishwasher and turns to me. “ I’m proud of you, big brother. You’ve come a long way.”

My neck grows hot. “We both know Lee had a lot to do with that.”

“Your, opening your eyes and seeing what was in front of you did that. You and Lee were always just a matter of when not if.” She starts the wash cycle.

“So sure.” I roll my eyes.

“I could see it. Over the years you got so close, but something always kept you from clicking.” “Deep down I knew in order to keep her I’d have to get my shit together, and I wasn’t ready to do that. So I stayed back ‘cause fucking things up between us wasn’t an option, you know?”

“Things came out the way they were meant to.”

“You really think that?” I glance into her soft brown eyes, and she gives me that Madonna smile that makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. I can always be real with my sister because I know she’s going to give me the truth. Wither I want it or not.

“I do.” She reaches over and places her hand on mine. “You both had some work to do before you could commit to forever.”

“You think I have it in me? Forever and kids and all that?” I ask cautiously. So far, I’m screwing up the baby thing with my first born. It’s scary thinking of another person depending on me, let alone a child. It changes everything, and our life is unpredictable.

“You are your father’s son. Is there even a doubt?”

“Naw.” I lie, trying to fake it till I make it like I always do.

“Didn’t think so. You’re paying for lunch right? ‘Cause I’m starving.”

I laugh.

“You about to try to put a hurting on my wallet?” I hand her my spare helmet before climbing on my bike.

“Better than putting a hurting on your ex.” She says with a shrug, clipping the helmet on.

I chuckle, pulling my helmet on.

“You have a valid point. Damn you are our mothers’ child.”

She blows a raspberry, before mounting my bike. Little sis knows since she’s doing me a favor, she has the upper hand—and she’s going to milk that shit for all it’s worth. It’s the Teller way.

~~~~~~~ I’m pleasantly surprised and slightly bewildered by the manicured lawn and uncluttered space by the garage. The large black garbage cans are lined up neatly by the curb on the street.

Pulling into the driveway, I remove my helmet and pause to take in the freakish cleanliness it’s lacked in prior visits. This is above and beyond the duties we assigned the prospect keeping tabs on Wendy’s house.

“Well. This is different,” Journee whispers.

“Yeah.” I frown and turn to look over my shoulder.

“Maybe Ma sent over multiple prospects to tidy up.”

“Nu-uh.” Journee shakes her head.

“She said this was your mess to handle.” I purse my lips. “Which means it’s up to me to help you out with the pile of shit you’ve landed in.” Journee sighs.

“I feel the love.”

Journee shrugs. “I’m only speaking the truth big bro. You choose poorly for your first baby Mama. I told you how I felt about her long before you decided to give her your crow.”

I scowl. “No need to rub it in.”

“I’m just reminding you to listen to me. Sometimes I know things.” She flicks my ear and climbs off the back of my bike gracefully.

“Let’s get this torture session over, please.”

“You think it’s bad for you? I got eighteen years of this bare minimum.”

Storing our helmets in my saddlebags, I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Come on, be my buffer.”

“I should let you go up in flames,” She mutters.

“That’s not sisterly,” I say with a grin.

“Jaxass.” She mutters.

We climb the steps, and the door swings open to reveal Wendy before we can even knock. My jaw drops at her appearance. I glance over to find Journee equally shocked.

She looks like a fucking Stepford wife in a pale-yellow sundress complete with a flared skirt and heels. Last time she dressed like this a waffle iron came flying at my head.

“Jackson. Cat got your tongue?” Wendy smirks.

Journee growls. “Aaaah, the little cocoa sidekick.”

“You know it only takes nine months to bake a baby, and you’ve got what...” Journee taps a finger against her cheek. “Less than three months left?”

“Nice to know you can count,” Wendy sneers.

This is a new woman in front of me. I’m glad that she’s gotten the idea of us getting back together to be a family out of her head, but this one-eighty makes me uneasy.

I scan her body, and notice the thick strips of white medical tape over her entire right forearm.

They stand out against her nineteen-fifties get up.

“The fuck.” I grab her arm. “What are you hiding?”

“Your mark. Which meant nothing.” She spits, tugging her arm away.

“Let me see.”

“Fuck you, Jackson.”

Journee moves forward, blocking the doorframe with her body to keep me from dragging the smart-mouthed bitch out.

“I swear to God. If you’re using again.” My breath quickens, and my visions tints red as rage builds up inside me like an inferno about to blaze out of control.

“You can take it off on your own. Or I can make you,” Journee says softly.

“One of these days, someone is going to put you in your fucking place. You don’t even belong here,” Wendy growls.

Journee climbs up another step, getting in her face.

“I know exactly who I am, where I belong, and where I’m wanted. You could never say the same, could you? Poor little lost girl, with loose legs begging to belong.”

Wendy blinks and turns away. Her hands tremble as she unwraps the tape and thrusts her arm toward me. “Look your fill. You dick.”

I peer down at the unmarred skin, and my knees nearly go weak with relief. “It better stay this way.”

“I have someone to take care of me now, Jackson. I don’t need your bullshit concerns.”

“The minute you give birth to my baby you can do whatever the hell you want. Until that time, your business is mine.”

“It’s my baby too.” Her tone makes me stand up straight.

“What was that Wendy?” My voice drops an octave. “Is the junkie with no job trying to tell me she thinks she’s the better parent?”

“Inside.” Journee whispers.

Of course, We always have to keep up appearances here in town.” My mother’s voice plays in my head.

The fresh scent of cleanser and scented candles greets me. The house has never looked this good.

Who turned her into June Cleaver? I search the place for clues. The laundry basket resting on the couch has t-shirts that are far too big for Wendy, and the black boxers are a dead giveaway.

I don’t feel anything for her. I haven’t for far longer than I care to admit. But I do worry about the company she’s keeping with my boy still in her belly.

He’s not a junkie. Shit’s too put together for that.

“Going somewhere?” Journee asks, nodding toward the kitchen.

I spot the half-packed boxes and bare spaces on the counter.

“I don’t want to stay in this house of lies.” Her dark eyes burn into mine.

“And where do you plan on going?” I ask. She looks away.

“Do you really want us to have to find you?” Journee asks.

Wendy crosses her arms under her breasts, pulling the material tight around her waist.I take in the bulge that’s grown over the past month.

“I’m just preparing.”

“You’re not supposed to be lifting heavy things right now.”

“I have help,” She snaps.

“You aren’t the only person who’d ever want me.” Her hands ball into fists. “If you can move on, so can I.”

“No one is saying you can’t, you crazy bitch. Calm the fuck down before you distress my godson. There’s no reason for everyone to get all worked up. We get it. Wendy bagged herself a new man. Good for you. We’re here to get our report on the baby, and we’ll be gone. The quicker you update us, the sooner we’ll be out of your hair.” Journee holds her hands out like she’s wrangling two high school kids about to fight.

Huffing, she stalks over to the large chair and sits down crossing her ankles, like some kind of proper lady. I’m in the fucking twilight zone. I lean forward with my arms on my knees, drinking up her reports. My boy is growing properly and healthy. It’s more than I could’ve hoped for, considering how fast and hardcore we were living when she got knocked up.

We were both empty shells looking to fill up spaces neither of us could ever fit into.

It’d been fun for a while, but it had never been built to last. She wasn’t even a consolation prize post-Tara tear down— Wendy was a pretty thing to warm my bed and play by the club rules without question. Now I’m paying for my poor choices.

“You satisfied?” Wendy asks. Journee looks at me, and I nod.

“For now.” Journee nods her head, and we both rise.

“Same time next month, Case.” Journee drawls. Such a little shit. Makes a brother proud.

She scowls as we leave.

“What. the fuck, Jax?” Journee whispers.

I shake my head. “Not sure, but if he keeps her shit together for the next 2 and half months, I don’t much care.”

~~~~~~

Sitting down at the table in Hannah’s, I wait for J to finish most of her meal before bringing up the main reason I wanted to go out to lunch after.

“All right Baby J, so…I gotta admit there's another reason I brought you along today.” I begin, wiping my hands off with my napkin. She rolls her eyes playfully at me. “Of course there is. So, which of my skill sets will you need for this favor? I've got a few spots saved in the woods for disposal and Hap gave me an amazing cleaner kit for my birthday.” She says with an excited grin and a bloodlust in her eyes. She is so her father’s daughter. I can't help but chuckle, shaking my head in Disbelief. By looking at her you'd never guess what she was capable of. But with her dad the Sergeant at Arms of Grim Bastards, and her mentor Happy Lowman…there’s a side to her that I never want to get on the bad side of. “Well I do need your skills, just not those ones.” I say, taking a sip of my water. She raises a curious eyebrow at me before smirking.

“Sorry bro, my other skills are only allowed to be enjoyed by my husband and my wifey. As kinky as my old man is, I don't think we're ready to swing just yet.”

She teases with a wink and I damn near spit my sip out. “Jesus J, not that either! Shit little sister, I’ve only just begun playing in Lee's pussy myself. No other dick is going to be poking around in her till it’s been claimed to completion.” Her eyebrows shoot up.“Already planning on making her your second baby mama?” "Second and final. But not just yet. I just got her to say I love you to me. If I plant the seed too soon, I'm worried she'd rip out the roots.”

She rolls her eyes. “Naw Bro, Lee'd never terminate.”

“Oh I know, I wasn't talking about the baby. I was more concerned with her going Loreena Bobbitt on me.” I say honestly, shifting in my seat at the imaginary pain. She bursts out laughing, nodding her head in agreement. “Yea, that uh, that might be more likely.” She says between adorable little snorts.

I nod my head in agreement. “Exactly and seeing is how I ain't planning on changing my singing voice anytime soon, I'm real careful how I'm navigating this one.” Feels like the story of my life right now. It’s been a unique experience having the girl be hesitant with me.With Tara and Wendy, we went full steam ahead, and the crows afterwards all but jumped on my dick the minute I looked at them.

Lee is different. And being with her like this has shown me just how special she is.

She’s worth the time and the energy to make this work for both of us.

J offers me a soft, approving smile. “That's good to hear.” I nod. It’s a relief knowing how much baby sister supports us. None of this would’ve happened without her, and I know she’s got my back to help me navigate these new relationship waters. “Besides she's got that IED thing in her arm.” I add.

She bursts out laughing again and this time I'm a little confused.

“It's an IUD dumbass. Lee doesn't have a fucking bomb implanted in her arm.” She teases and I can't help but chuckle.

There's a joy in her eyes I haven't seen since before the whole Kyle debacle. I'm not the least bit surprised her old man helped put it there. I've known about his crush on her for years, but I knew better than to say shit. I figure if Chibs was taking his time there had to be a reason. Brother was one of the most strategic mother fuckers I knew. I was fifteen when he patched in, and after losing my old man, I saw him like the big brother I never had. There was no one I listened to and trusted more than Filip Telford.

I loved Ope and, there would always be a lifelong bond between us, but when he met Donna, we both felt something sever between us. He became a family man almost overnight, and I wasn’t done sewing my wild oats. Plus, the way the whole thing went down with him hurting J, it never sat right with me. Those two had been headed in a direction that would’ve been something real special. But then Mary got involved, dragged him away and he came back with Donna.

I can still feel my anger at the look of heartbreak he’d put on Journee’s face.

He’s been out a few months now and I rarely see him. The separation has been painful, but he’s trying to go the way of the straight and narrow for his family. Donna’s laid out the rules damn clearly. If he gets into trouble again, she’s out. Should’ve had brown babies Ope. This was the real danger of marrying and procreating with a Civi. They never fully understood our world, and few respected the price that sometimes must be paid to be apart of it. I don’t resent Ope for finding love, but I do resent his love for taking him away from his family.

“All right, Well then I'm lost Jay boy. If it ain’t cleaning and it ain’t playtime…what could you need from me?” She asks, taking a sip from her drink. My stomach flutters excitedly. I reach into the pocket of my cut. Producing the crinkled, early stages of a sketch I’ve been working on, I slide it over to her.

“Need the artiste in you little sister.” She glances at me and then opens the paper. My excitement turns to nerves as I watch her eyes studying the picture presented to her. "What am I looking at here J?" She asks and I scowl slightly. "I mean I know I'm not a great artist like you, but you can tell it's a crow.”

She chuckles. “I mean I know that, but I’m wondering why I'm looking at crow?”

"Right so, I need your help J. I want to design a new crow for Lee. After the shit with Kick, I need her inked. I want everyone to know she's claimed.” Her eyebrows shoot up again. “Wait what? A new crow, but your dad designed the first one. Why do you want to do new?” “I know dad designed the first one, but he designed it for my mom. And then ya know other old ladies got it and it just sort of became trademark.” I pause. “But there's nothing trademark about my old lady. I want her to have one just for her, cause she's damn special to me and she deserves something that represents not just me but us. Like you and Chibs did. Seeing the crow designed specifically for the two of you made me realize, I don't want her wearing the same generic shit that both Tara and Wendy got. Lee is never gonna be an ex, I know she's my forever and I want this crow to be more than just the generic SAMCRO trademark.”

I explain my thought process to her watching the smile tugging at the edge of her lips.

“So, that's what I need your help with. No one loves Lee as much as me and no one knows her better. I've got an idea and I can explain what I want, but I need your help executing my vision and making it something that represents us both and that she'd be proud to wear.”

I wait for her reaction. She studies the sketch and runs her fingers over the lines. “Where are you thinking she wears her brand?” I can’t help but remember before we were together, standing in my dorm room at Journee's engagement party. Journee running her slender fingers over Lee's chest saying how sexy a chest piece would look. I lick my lips and shift in my seat before clearing my throat. “Depends what we come up with. I know I’m definitely going to want her to get a chest piece so anyone who looks knows exactly who she belongs to, but I also know she's gotta be careful with size given her business dealings in the upper crust. So maybe just property off Jax across her chest so she can cover it up if need be. But this crow, HER crow...I don't want to worry about size. Maybe her shoulder or tricep for when she's in tank tops. After we design it and I give it to her, I'll let her decide where.”

Journee nods thoughtfully. “All right so explain to me what you're thinking.” She reaches into her oversized satchel she almost always has with her, and pulls out a small sketch book and pencil. I chuckle at her. She shrugs sheepishly. “Hey I'm an artist, never know when inspiration might strike.” She says flipping the book open to an empty page. “So I like what you have going here with the crow but what if you go with a two headed crow. Sort of like you and her becoming one.” She explains, masterfully sketching out what I'd already drawn and adding on to it. “Now, tell me what else you're thinking.”

By the time we’re finished, the idea is a fully formed tattoo. The two crows each have a wing.

A bleeding heart in the middle of the crows speaks to our passion and dedication for each other. One crow clutches an A.K. 47 for the club, and the other crow clutches an olive branch to represent the peace she brings me. With her, I’m completely balanced. Journee’s thrown in a few other hidden easter eggs to symbolize Lee. My name sits above the entire thing to let everyone know who my old lady belongs to. I love that in a way Journee is woven in there. There would be no me and Lee without her wonderfully “subtle” match making ways. We stand to leave, and I toss 20 extra bucks down on a 24-dollar bill. SamCro always makes sure to tip extra well in town. Keeps our business running and our business owners happy to have us. As we're walking out my phone rings and I can't help but grin when I see Lee's name on the caller ID.

“Hey beautiful, I was just thinking about you.” I say answering the phone. “How'd your meeting go?” I ask as we walk towards my bike. "Hey baby, went good. I think your mom and I were able to nail down the last of the details for the taste of Charming festival coming up.” I can hear the relief in her tone.

“Glad to hear it Darlin. J and I just finished up lunch. Headed back now.” I pause.“I mean, headed home.” I correct, winking at the smirk J gives me. “Glad to hear it darlin.” She mocks on the other end. J and I get to the bike and she grabs her helmet. “How’d your meeting go with Wendy?”

“Went good. I’ll tell you more about when I get there.”

“Okay baby.” I can hear her hesitation for a moment.

“Something wrong?”

“No, not at all. But umm Sack came by this morning with a few boxes of your stuff. And I hope you don't mind that I started unpacking some things. You know I hate boxes.” My heart damn near soars at her words. “Of course I don't mind Lee. You know how I hate unpacking, so unpack away. I can't wait to see it. My shit mixed in with yours. Bet it's gonna look amazing.” I say honestly. After our bathtub wall breaking session we both wanted as much of my stuff into her house as soon as possible.

Mostly cause I didn't want her changing her mind on me. “I think you'll like it. I’m headed back to the house now. You done for the day or you got Club stuff you gotta do?”

“I got some free time babe. I'll head over after I drop J off.”

I mount my bike so J can get on while I finish up my phone call. “Okay sounds good Jax.” She grows quiet for a second before a sweet "I love you Jackson," comes through the earpiece. I can't help the smile hearing her initiate the L word that been circling my head for months.

“I love you too Harley.” I say sincerely, picturing her bashful, smile on the other end.

“I'll see you soon babe.”

“Okay, bye baby.” She says before disconnecting the call. Journee is settled in her seat behind me and I can practically feel her smile. “How'd that feel?” She asks learning forward to wrap her arms around my waist. “Pretty Amazing, I’ll never get tired of hearing that from her.” I answer honestly, pulling my helmet on. I can always be honest and real around J. “I know the feeling.” She says giving me a squeeze. She leans forward to place an affectionate kiss on my check.“I'm so happy for you Jackson. For both of you.” She says.

I thread my fingers in her course curls and cup the back of her head. After Pressing a firm kiss to her cheek, I rest my head on top of hers for a moment. “Thank you, Journee. For everything.” I sincerely say.

There is no doubt in my mind if it hadn’t been for my baby sister I wouldn’t be in this amazing stage with Lee.

Knowing me I would’ve fucked us up by now. She gives me a squeeze before situating in her seat. “All right, enough with the chick flick moment. Take me home chauffer, time for me to go see my old man.” She says like a little kid getting ready to open presents as soon as she gets home. “Yes ma'am.” I tease starting my bike and heading out. ~~~~~ A/N: In case ya’ll were wondering this was what Tellerford was thinking Lee’s Crow Looks like. It’s based off a Design the show produced and was tweaked to fit our image lol. So we thought you might like a little glimpse into what’s in our head.

#sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #Jax Teller #chibs telford #Mo Astor

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royallyprincesslilly · 6 years ago

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Title: Love, Maybe? {14}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Angst

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. 3 years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

**Partially Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 14: Finding Vixen

-Vixen-

“Wow, things are moving quickly.”

You spun around the construction site the crew was making progress with the space that would be your restaurant. You couldn’t believe in a matter of weeks what was happening.

“Things move quickly when everything aligns,” Zack responded from behind you. You looked to him and smiled, but as you stared at him, you only saw one face looking back at you. The smile slipped from your lips, and you gulped down the emotion threatening to spill out. Turning your back, you tried your best to pull yourself together.

“You okay Vixen?”

Clearing your throat, you nodded as you took a few steps away to what would or could be the spot for the outdoor eating spot. You bit your bottom lip, while a swell of pride and accomplishment fulled you, sadness and a feeling of being overwhelmed flooded you as well. It had been four days since you’d seen Chris, four days since your entire world had come crashing down, four days since the feelings you thought were long gone surfaced again, four days since the encounter you’d always dreaded and planned would go smoothly went the opposite. Sighing you took a deep breath and turned to face Zack, Kassius and the small team that was assembled for your expansion.

“Are you happy with this so far? Any suggestions?”

Glancing around you took in the demolition that looked just to have begun. You shook your head.

“No, this looks to be the beginning nothing much to make suggestions on. I’d like to look at it again once it’s cleared out, just want to make sure everything transitions right.”

“Absolutely. I’ve seen Giovanni’s in San Fran; I can imagine how particular you are about the visual of your restaurant. As long as we’re on schedule, things should be clear in another day or two,” Timothy one of the members of the team said.

You nodded and made your way to the front door as everyone else followed. When you stepped out into the LA sun, you placed your sunglasses on your nose. Zack approached beside you and put his hand on the small of your back.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I just haven’t gotten a lot of sleep the last few days, and it’s always a hassle moving in.”

Zack nodded and slowly rubbed your back. You tried not to shy away from his touch.

“I can treat you to a relaxing night, dinner, a drink, maybe a massage.”

He smiled softly, and you felt the genuineness of his offer, but you knew it wasn’t something you were going to pass on. You smiled, hoping to soften the blow.

“You’re so sweet Zack, I appreciate it, I really do, but since the move, Ella hasn’t gotten back to her regular sleeping schedule I need to focus on her right now. I’m sorry.”

He looked as if he were trying to swallow the rejection. You hoped he wouldn’t make it a big thing. In all truth, while you liked his company, you really didn’t want to date. You didn’t feel much of anything for anyone, except him. Zack nodded, looked down, and nodded some more.

“I understand. You’re a mom first. It’s admirable. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed, but I understand. Just uh—I want you to know that I like you Vixen, I didn’t expect it, but there it is. I would like to get to know you better really try to build something with you.”

“Uuugh, jeez Vix. What do you say to that?”

After you looked around you taking notice of how close the others were you decided now wasn’t the right place to let him down. You also didn’t want to lead him on.

“All right Vixen, so we’re going to schedule another walk through once all demo is done, and we’ll make some decisions. I have a few mocks for you to look over and hopefully by then we’ll have some ideas,” Kassius said.

“Yes, I’ll look over these.”

You took the folder that looked thicker than a George A. Romano novel and bugged your eyes out.

“Good lord.”

“Yes, a lot of decisions to be made, this is the fun part,” he finished with a broad smile on his face.

“I’ll see you then. Are you coming, Zack? We’re still on for golf?”

Zack looked at you and nodded once he realized you weren’t going to respond to his declaration. You were glad your shades were darker than the midnight sky because your eyes weren’t hiding anything.

“Yeah. I’ll call you,” Zack said before he walked to Kassius and the two walked off to Kassius’ bright red sports car. You nodded your head to the rest of the team and made your way to your rental car.

You looked into the mirror and shook your head before you started your engine to begin on your to-do list. At the top was picking up some more groceries, then some office supplies and then to pick up some stuff for Ella. You hated the grocery places around the house; they were overpriced for no reason, and the produce never looked fresh. That meant you were going to drive over five miles to get to the supermarket Zack told you about—Gleason’s.

As you drove your mind drifted back to seeing Chris. The last time you’d seen him, you’d told him to have a nice life. You were pissed and hurt, and it seemed like a good enough thing to say. Shit, you didn’t even know why you were pissed, you brought it on yourself. You were stupid enough to think that there was anything possible between the two of you.

You should have known better. The way he carried himself, the way he spoke, and dressed it screamed bachelor, screamed down for a good time and nothing more. Every alarm rang off in your head about him the minute you saw him at the table. Everything in you screamed “don’t,” but the other voice in you said, “just do it, it’s Vegas.” Yeah well, “it’s Vegas” turned into a kid and haunting memories. That didn’t change the fact that he was still gorgeous and his shoulders were bigger than ever.

“Of course he had to be gorgeous. Of course he couldn’t turn ugly or have gained thirty pounds of fat. No, he got sexy as fuck and gained thirty pounds of muscle.”

You groaned loudly and focused again on the GPS that predicted you’d reach your destination in five minutes. Once you parked in the lot, you roamed the aisles pushing the cart before you.

“Black tea, herbal tea, coffee, check.” You dropped the items in the cart and went perusing down the next.

“Rice Krispies, honey bunches of oats, oatmeal, flour, food coloring, sugar, yeast, check.”

You turned down the refrigerator aisle to scan for eggs, milk, butter, cheese, yogurt, orange juice, coffee creamer, jello, cream cheese, and that disgusting iced coffee drink Nexus loved. With your list about half done you allowed yourself to get distracted in the produce section where they held fresh flowers. You loved fresh flowers. There were pink, red, blue, yellow and even white flowers of all varieties. You decided on two beautiful assortments of pink and yellow roses and a separate one of pink orchids, you loved orchids. Tipping your head down to take a whiff of the fragrant flowers you looked over to the other side of the section and saw the actor Nexus was losing her mind over—Anthony Mackie. Quickly putting the flowers in your cart you made a u-turn to get back on track, you definitely didn’t want a run in.

Just as you thought you were safe in the bread aisle holding two selections of bread, one you liked and one Ella couldn’t get enough of you you saw him. Your legs thought you had time to make another getaway, but your brain knew better, he saw you too. Anthony approached you with a friendly smile on his face as he tipped his hat lower. You knew it was pointless, but you still turned and rolled out the aisle. As soon as you made it to the soda and water aisle, he was at your side.

“Vixen right?”

Sighing, you nodded. “That’s right.”

“I’m going to say you didn’t see me, that’s why you walked away; otherwise, that was rude.”

You snorted and shook your head. He had to be kidding.

“I was trying to protect your incognito look. I’m thinking if these people knew they were walking next to The Falcon himself they’d draw a scene and there goes your disguise. By the way, that’s a horrible disguise.”

Anthony chuckled and nodded his head.

“Of course you’re as snarky as your sister. Speaking of, how is she? Is she here?”

You looked at Anthony as he quickly looked up and down the aisle as if looking for her. Scoffing again you responded, “No, she’s not here. Why does it matter?”.

“Just curious.”

“Bullshit!”

You laughed out loud and pushed the cart further and placed other items in your cart. “I can see right through you. Looks like another one bites the dust.”

“Another one bites the dust? What does that mean?”

“It means you’ve been hit with the Nexus haze. Almost every man that speaks to her for any amount of time falls under her spell. You Mr big-time movie star are no different.”

Anthony smiled and shrugged, but he didn’t look as smug as he usually did, no this time he looked as if he felt threatened as if he were worried. He should be Nexus wasn’t half a woman like these barbie doll actresses and models she was one hundred percent that bitch and she was a force to be reckoned with. The two of you walked in silence for a few feet.

“So, I learned a fun fact recently. You’d never believe it,” Anthony began.

“Oh yeah, what fun fact is that?”

“Three years ago, a woman went to Vegas for some fun and ended marrying Captain America himself.” Your brain failed to communicate with your legs, and you just stopped in the middle of the aisle.

“He told him. Shit!”

“But you believe it, because—,” Anthony leaned into your ear and whispered. “You are that woman.”

You looked to him, unsure what to say. You could deny, deny, deny, but you were sure Chris was the one to tell him. You sighed again.

“Don’t worry, he’s my best friend, your secret is safe with me.” You walked again and turned down another aisle.

“Was it shock that had you running like a bat outta hell, or was it something else? Do you hate him?”

“I hate no one; there is no time for all of that. I have too many things to accomplish.”

“Okay, a mature one. He lucked out,” Anthony joked. The humor of it was lost on you. You didn’t bother laughing or smiling about it either.

“It was good seeing you again, take care,” you rushed out as you walked to the cash-out. You didn’t know if you’d gotten everything, but you needed to get out of there. It was insane; every second you spent around him, you felt it was only a matter of time before he saw the truth through your eyes, or seeping from your pores.

You unloaded the groceries on the belt then saw Anthony help. Rolling your eyes, you stayed quiet.

“How do you feel about seeing him again after so long?”

Groaning you turned to him your frustrations seeped out. “What’s it to you? What’s with all the questions? We did what we did, but we also went through with the divorce, it’s all water under the bridge now. No need to keep talking about it.”

Anthony studied you as you continued to unload the groceries so the cashier could do her job. You were usually good at keeping your emotions in check, but everything was becoming a lot more difficult. You hated it.

“Whew, that sounds like a lot of hurt and anger, years worth of it. Maybe not so much water under the bridge, huh.” Antony’s eyes bored into you, and you narrowed yours. Anthony nodded again and stepped back.

“Take care of yourself Vixen. Oh, and could you give your sister a message for me? Tell her I didn’t mean to hurt her, I didn’t plan on it. I was telling her the truth.”

As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared, allowing you to focus again. You moved as quickly as you could to wrap up the rest of your errands. By the time you made it home, the sun was down, and you had a car full of shit. After thirty minutes of unloading and unpacking, you dropped onto the couch to catch your breath. Ella ran to you, you quickly scooped her up and dropped kiss after kiss across her face. She released an uproar of giggles that made your heart swell.

“Top, top, top!”

“No, no, no, take all mommy’s kisses, take them all!”

Her laughter filled the entire room, and soon, Nexus was beside you holding Ella down as she tickled her small ribs. This only made her wiggle and scream even more. The two of you slowly stopped, and Ella settled down comfortably in your arms, holding tightly to you.

“Long day?”

You looked to Nexus and nodded.

“That’s a big book.”

“It is, and I have a few more days to look through and find my aesthetic for the next round of meetings. Things are moving fast. Maybe we can be in and out of LA sooner than I thought.”

Nex gave you a look that said: “be real, aren’t you forgetting something.” You ignored it and flipped through the design pages.

“Vixen.”

“What do you think of this one? It’s airy and modern but still has a traditional vibe.”

Flipping to another page, you have the book your full attention. Seeing another contender, you showed your sister.

“Ooh, this looks very modern like a real celebrity restaurant. Doesn’t say much to traditional comfort but what the hell step into the times, right.”

“Vixen!”

“What!?”

“You know what,” Nexus exasperated. You shrugged and continued to flip the pages determined not to address what Nex clearly wanted you to.

“Vixen, you know damn well you can’t leave LA without telling Chris about Ella.” You groaned and rolled your eyes.

You knew you shouldn’t have told her shit. Now it would be even harder to ignore the shoulds. When you didn’t answer after a few minutes, she took the heavy binder off your lap and placed it on the side table nearest her. Groaning you stood and walked back in the kitchen to busy yourself, hoping it would distract you. You took out the meat for the meatballs you planned on making to accompany the spaghetti—Ella’s favorite. Refusing to take the hint, Nex walked in and crossed her arms before the island. You knew ignoring her would only work for so long, but you were going to milk it for every second you could.

You took out the flour and the other ingredients to make your signature pasta. Once you opened the fridge to grab some tomatoes and herbs for your sauce and closed the door, you came face to face with Nexus’ annoyed face. You snorted unable to hide your amusement.

“This isn’t funny Vix. It’s serious and a huge thing. It’s not just your life; you’re impacting. There are two other people, one small who cannot make a decision and the other who--,”

“Who what Nex? You don’t know him. You don’t know what he’s really like,” you blurted out slamming the cutlery drawer a tad harder than you intended.

“What the hell does that mean?”

Again you ignored her and began washing your produce, focusing on getting every invisible speck of dirt. You’d told her the cliff notes version, beginning, middle, then end. You didn’t tell her the in between. You didn’t want to relive it out loud, you were fine keeping it a trip you took every night before you went to sleep. Once the produce was washed, you got to work chopping and dicing. You knew you were stressed because the knife was moving faster than ever and you knew she saw it too.

“I’m waiting. What does that mean? What is he really like?”

Kissing your teeth, you shook your head, “Forget it, Nex; it’s not important.”

“Clearly it is. There has to be a reason why you never told him about her, a reason you never claimed the child support that was rightfully yours. You know you could have used it while you were pregnant and the parts of the first year. Why? Did he hurt you? does he hit women?”

Nex shifted her stance, and you knew she was ready to pop off. She’d always been your keeper, your protector. You remembered a few girls she’d seriously beat down because they looked at you wrong across the playground. You sighed out, taking a pause with the chopping to give her a reassuring look.

“No, he didn’t hit me.” You saw her shoulders relax and her expression softening; then you returned to the task at hand.

“So he didn’t hit you. He did hurt you though.”

Nexus was no idiot. She knew how to hear what you said and decipher what you didn’t. You did your best to give no reaction as you moved around the kitchen.

“Okay, I get it. You didn’t tell him to spite him.”

“No!”

Though you adamantly rebuked that, part of you felt a way and you wondered if any part of you felt that way.

“Okay. So he hurt you, you ran back home with your tail tucked, and you hid away for the next near three years. What did he do?”

“Nex, please. It’s not important. Let’s drop it.”

“I’m trying to help. You seem to be ignoring or purposely forgetting that you have to tell him. I owe him nothing, and I don’t know him from Adam and my loyalties don’t lie with him that’s with you--,”

“So drop it. Have my back, be my pitbull!”

“Vix, don’t ever get it twisted and think I’m not riding for you one hundred. It’s always been you and me against the world, and it’s still that way. Just—this goes past that. This is a morally right and wrong issue. How would you feel not knowing you had a mini replica of you running around the world?”

“Fine, because I wouldn’t know.” Nexus walked around the island to you and put her arm around you. She could sense your breakdown was imminent. She gently rubbed your bare arm and let the silence fill the room. You closed your eyes, hoping to stop your warring thoughts. Of course part of you knew what she was saying was sound and right, but the other side refused to hear it.

“You’re afraid,” Nexus worded.

There it was plain as day, no hidden pretenses, no shade, no covers, just blatant truth. You were afraid. You were shitfaced scared.

“It’s okay to be scared. There is nothing wrong with it. Hell if you weren’t scared I’d be worried because that would show that you really have no intention of doing the right thing. I know you, Vix, do the right thing is your middle name. Somewhere inside you know you have to tell him, want to or not, have to and should outweigh it this time.”

“This is why I didn’t want to go to that stupid expo or come to this dumb place. It has a way of stealing and crushing dreams,” you groaned out.

“Or realigning them and showing you a new, different, better dream.”

You glanced at Nexus, took a deep breath, and released it. She was right — bottom line.

“Fuck!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Chris-

415-653-7575.

It wasn’t hard to get. All he had to do was google her and her location. He had all her information from three years ago. He had her full name, city, state, P.O Box information. In truth, he had everything he needed, and if he needed more, he could easily get more, it was a perk of being him. In all the years he didn’t use it, didn’t search, didn’t allow his curiosity to take over. Today he did.

It took him less than a minute to find her on Google, her name was uncommon, there was literally one Vixen Giovanni in San Francisco. It took him another minute to find her restaurant. Her restaurant. He was impressed. She said she wanted to open a restaurant and be a chef and she’d accomplished it, and she was successful. He spent nearly twenty minutes just looking through food reviews, articles, and pictures all of her and everything he remembered thinking and feeling those years ago came back.

He suspected it would be like this—feared it really which made him avoid doing this very thing for so long. He was afraid he was right, and he was. It took him the next hour to get the balls to call the number for her restaurant. An hour where he went over and over what he would say. He didn’t know where you were; it had been nearly a week since he saw you, you could have gone back to San Francisco.

He went over and over what he would say if you answered. He didn’t know if he should go with a calm and cool introduction; “Hey Vixen, remember me your ex-husband,” or an apologetic one; “I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from but—.” It was impossible to read you from the quick exchange days ago. You hadn’t spoken, you didn’t look angry, or happy or anything, your expression was blank, and then you were gone. He didn’t know what to expect.

When hour two was near, he bit the bullet and dialed your restaurant. The hostess transferred him to the manager who informed him you were out of town. Due to his quick thinking, he pretended to be interested in a potential business opportunity, it was then the manager gave him your cell phone number. He was surprised it was that easy. Now that was where he was, staring at your number with a bottle of beer on his right side, whiskey on the other and a joint in his hand. He leaned back and took several long puffs before holding them for a breath allowing the drug to haze away all his thoughts. Once he blew out the smoke, he took a long swig of his beer.

“Jesus Chris, it’s not hard, just dial the number. One step at a time.”

He took up his phone and punched in the numbers and hovered his finger over the green button, thinking about his actions one last time. Taking another long pull from his joint, he tapped the button and put it on speaker. It rang once, twice, three times and before he tapped the red button to end the call, a voice called out through the line.

“Hello?”

His brain froze, and speech did with it, so he sat there completely flustered.

“Hello? Anyone there?”

Still, he didn’t speak. Only when the line went dead did he move, he dropped back against the couch and groaned loudly into the night sky.

“Come on, man!”

TagList:

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****If the spacing is all messed up I apologize. I copy and past from Word and try to anticipate Tumblr messing up the spacing and fix it but once I push post everything always jumbled out. Sorry guys.

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans x you #chris evans smut #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

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avengerscompound · 6 years ago

Text

At a Cellular Level - Part 3

At a Cellular Level: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC (Alex Swann)

Word Count: 4598

Warnings: Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, virgin reader, smut (M|F oral sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, loss of virginity (Steve and Readers))

Synopsis: Steve no longer trusts Alex, and Alex continues to hold back the truth from him. When she finally comes clean they think of a way she can start using her powers for good.

Part Three

Alex sat in the sun outside the small, wood cabin she and Steve had made their home for the past two months. Steve had gone for a run as was his usual ritual. He always invited her, but she hated running and she couldn’t keep up with him anyway, so she didn’t bother.

They had been hurt. Mostly by other people. The events surrounding the Sokovia Accords had destroyed Steve. He was not the same person she had known when they’d met all those years ago when he’d rescued her from SHIELD. Back then he had thought he’d lost everything. He had since learned he had no idea back then what losing everything actually felt like. He had now lost his friends, his freedom, the people he loved, his connection to the past, his home. All he had now was Alex, and he still didn’t trust Alex. Not since she’d run off on him breaking his heart.

Alex had lost a lot of things too. She had lost her childhood. Her chance of normalcy. Her stepfather had used her as a scientific guinea pig and made her a weapon. He had then tortured her and made her a monster. When she left Steve, she had gone to wreak vengeance on all those who had done her wrong and only come out more damaged than before. She had so much blood on her hands there was no way she could ever get clean. She had returned to Steve to make things right. She loved him. He loved her too, but the trust, that might never return.

So she practiced using her abilities. She would create life, restore it, fix others who were broken. She held a flower in her hand and watched a butterfly land on a nearby blade of grass. She studied it, looking at the differences in its cells, what made it a butterfly and not a bee, or the blade of grass it sat on. She looked down at the flower and compared them, and her powers engaged. She cupped the flower in her hands and focused on changing it, rearranging it’s DNA. Sparks flew from her eyes as she burned energy rewriting the genetic structure of the plant that was already dying in her hand. When she stopped she opened her hands, and a butterfly identical to the one she’d just been studying flapped it’s wings and flew off.

She collapsed back into the grass staring into the sky. She felt a little dizzy. Changing a plant into something with a complex nervous system required a lot of energy. She closed her eyes, just considering taking a nap in the morning sun when she heard the sound of tires on the gravel out the front.

Alex got to her feet, her powers engaged, ready for a fight, and ran to the front of the house. There was a black car out the front. A Tesla, which explained why she hadn’t heard it before. A man started getting out of the car.

“Get back in that car!” Alex screamed. Her skin was crackling with static electricity. Her powers wanted to unleash themselves on this man who had invaded her home.

“Who are you? Where’s Cap?” The man asked. He looked defensive but hadn’t taken on any kind of fighting stance.

“If you think for one second, I will let you get to him …”

The man laughed. It was a loud pleasant bark of a laugh. “Chill woman, I’m a friend. Get Steve.”

There was a cry from across the field. “Alex!” Steve yelled. “Power down!”

Alex glanced around in a panic. “Tell me who you are. I won’t let you take him.” She growled.

“I’m not here to take anyone, sparky. Listen to Steve.”

Steve had finally reached them. He reached a hand out towards Alex like he was trying to soothe a frightened animal. “Alexandra, power down. He’s a friend. You’re safe. I’m safe.”

“Steve?” She said the fear obvious in her voice.

“Alex. You’re safe. This is Sam. You’re safe. Power down.” Steve reassured her.

“This is Sam?”

“That’s right. Now power down.”

She took a deep breath and shut her powers down. She felt light headed and staggered forward. Steve caught her, holding her against him, soothing her.

“Cap,” Sam said, nodding to his friend.

“Hi, Sam,” Steve said smiling and shaking his head. “Come inside.”

Steve helped Alex into the house and sat her at the kitchen table. He went to the pantry and pulled out some protein bars, piling them in front of Alex. She tore one open and shoved it in her mouth. He turned to Sam and embraced him. They thudded each other on the back.

“It’s good to see you. What are you doing here though? Has there been trouble?” Steve asked.

“No more than usual. Just thought I’d stop in. See how you were doing.” Sam shrugged trying to play it off as nonchalant. He’d been worried about his friend being trapped out her alone. He hadn’t counted on the lightning chick though. “What’s with the bottomless pit here?” Alex was already on her forth energy bar.

“Sam, this is Alex,” Steve said. He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer and handed it to Sam, he then poured a glass of milk for Alex. She took it and started drinking as soon as it was within reach. “She’s … well, we …”

Sam started laughing and sat down on the chair opposite Alex. “Oh I see. What about you and …” He made a strange hand gesture that didn’t really mean anything except that Steve knew exactly what he meant. Steve shook his head, and Sam dropped it.

“And the eye shit?” Sam asked wiggling his fingers next to his eyes.

“I’m enhanced,” Alex answered through a mouth full of food. She was getting sick of them talking about her like she wasn’t there.

“Like witchy?” Sam asked.

“Sort of. They’d give each other a run for their money.” Steve said putting his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “She alters DNA. I’m glad I made it to you when I did. You don’t back down easy, do you?”

Alex shook her head. She felt embarrassed. She didn’t want to be the violent person she was, but the first sense of threat and she’d gone into destruction mode. She could have killed Steve’s friend. She got up. “I’m going to go lie down. I made a butterfly before he got here. I’m a bit tired now.”

Alex left the room and went and lay in her bed, listening.

“She made a butterfly?” Sam said shaking his head after she left the room.

Steve sat down in the chair that Alex was so recently occupying. “Yeah. She’s pretty powerful. If she has organic matter available to her she could potentially do anything with it. Takes a lot of energy though. Thus …” He indicated to the pile of energy bar wrappers.

“Now, tell me really, Cap. What’s the deal with you two. What about Sharon?”

Steve shook his head. “Sharon and I didn't work out. Too much distance, not enough time. Anyway, Alex happened before … ugh, it’s complicated.” He dragged his hand down his face.

“Oh, an old flame then? How did she find you?” Sam laughed.

“SHIELD dropped her off. Which is concerning for a few reasons. The first being, SHIELD shouldn’t even exist right now.” Steve answered his mood darkening.

“You trust her? Maybe she’s a spy?”

Steve shook his head. “She’s not a spy. As to trusting her …”

Alex started to cry. The tears silently running down her cheeks. Things hadn’t been the same since she came back. How could they be? She had abandoned him, and he still didn’t know why, or what she’d done.

She listened to them talk but the conversation turned to things about the friends they shared who were still on the run, and something about Thor and Bruce Banner’s whereabouts. She wanted to leave the room, and go outside again, but then they’d know she was listening in and not resting like she’d said.

She closed her eyes, and the next thing she was aware of is the bed shifting as Steve climbed in next to her.

“Alex, you’ve been asleep all day.” He whispered rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

She rubbed her eyes and rolled over to face him. “I’m sorry.” She breathed.

“It’s okay, I was just worried that you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.” He kissed her on the temple.

“That’s not what I’m sorry about.”

“What is it?” Steve asked, panicked. What had she done now? Or was it something she was planning on doing?

“Where’s your friend?”

“He’s sleeping in the spare room. Don’t deflect.” Steve had adopted his leadership voice. He hated using it on her.

She pressed her face into his chest. “When I left, I thought you didn’t love me. I thought you had just used me. I wanted to go away and make myself someone you would love. Instead, I’ve made it so you don’t trust me.” She swallowed. “And you shouldn’t. I killed people Steve. I would have killed your friend.”

“Alex.” Steve shook his head. He wasn’t sure what he should say. “You’ve been hurt. Badly. By a lot of people. I should have been aware of that on that day. You’re always on high alert for people to continue to hurt you. I’m sure whatever you did while you were on your own …”

Alex silenced him with a kiss. All she wanted to right now was to make love with him. He wouldn’t want to after she came clean, she was sure of it. He might not hate her, or ask her to leave, but they wouldn’t be together anymore.

The kiss was urgent and he yielded to her, letting her take control. Her lips crashed against his, her tongue invaded his mouth. She tugged at his shirt and he helped her remove it, and she straddled him, trailing kisses down his smooth, muscular chest.

He moved his hands up under her shirt and just as he reached the clasp of her bra she burst into tears. She couldn’t do this to him. He needed to know who she had been. Who she still was despite how hard she was trying not to be.

He sat up and held her, stroking her hair. “What is it, Alex? You need to talk to me.”

“I’m not good enough for you. I’m not. I’ll take you down with me.” She sobbed, her hand balling into a fist against his chest.

“I think I can decide that for myself, Alex.”

“I didn’t kill people in self-defense, Steve. I murdered them. I murdered some random guy for information, and then I murdered my stepdad. It wasn’t quick either. I tortured them. I made them feel everything they put me through. Everything. I need to be locked up. I can never make up for this. I’d have let Phil take me to the raft, but I’m afraid someone will try an use me again. I’d kill myself but I can’t die. How do I fix this, Steve? I don’t know how to fix this.”

Steve held her. He knew she was damaged, but he hadn’t expected this. Phil was dead, and she was talking about him like he was alive. She’d tortured people. “You’re right, Alex. You will never be able to fix it. Those deaths, what you did to those people, it will be on you forever.” He sighed and pushed her away from him. “You’re right though. Being locked up is not the answer for you. It’s too dangerous, and it will only make things worse. It won’t fix you. I need to think.”

Alex went to kiss him, but he pushed her away.

“I love you, Steve.” She sobbed, her tears causing her whole body to shake.

“I love you too, Alex. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t think I can take losing anyone, but I need some space. I’m going to go sleep on the couch.”

Alex grabbed his arm as he went to stand. “I’ll sleep on the couch. You won’t be comfortable. This is my fault.”

Steve nodded. As she went to leave he took her hand and squeezed it. “Please don’t run. Not again.”

Alex went out to the living room and fell onto the couch. She fell asleep crying.

Steve woke up the following morning to find the house empty. His first thought was to panic. She’d done it again. He ran out on the porch and saw her in the field with Sam. They were doubled over laughing. Sam was wearing his flight suit and there were feathers everywhere.

He approached them both smiling. This was the most normal and at ease, he had felt for months now.

“What’s going on here?” He asked.

“Damn, Steve you should have seen it!” Sam laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “I got up this morning and your girl was sitting there all morose, so I asked her if she wanted to see Redwing.”

“I was more interested in the wings. I’d heard about the wings. I wanted to see them.” Alex squeaked. He couldn’t remember a time she ever looked so happy.

“So I got the suit out and start showing off.”

“I watched him and started thinking maybe I could make my own wings and fly. Like I think I should be able to do it.”

“I look down at her and she’s sparking, you know the way she does. So I land to see what’s up, and these feathers just explode out of her.”

“I guess I need to really look at what real wings are like better because all I made was a ton of feathers. They went everywhere.”

Steve looked at her and felt real warmth. A potential for actual happiness. He laughed and hugged her. “You made them out of nothing?”

She was still giggling. “No. No. I made them out of me. They’re my feathers.” She picked one off her shirt and blew it into his face. “I probably should go eat. I feel a little light headed.”

“That’s because you’re all feathers, woman.” Sam laughed.

Alex kissed Steve on the cheek and went inside.

“She’s a weird kid, but I like her.” Sam laughed. “Did you two fight last night?”

Steve shook his head. “No. She finally came clean to me about some stuff. It’s not pretty.” Sam put his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You can talk to me you know.”

So Steve emptied out all the information onto his friend. When he was done, Sam shook his head. “Sounds to me like those dudes had it coming.”

“It doesn’t excuse it though.” Steve sighed.

“You forgave Bucky.”

“Buck didn’t know what he was doing.”

Sam laughed. “You think she was all there when she did those things? At least she’s trying to make up for what she did instead of just hiding.”

That hurt. Steve turned away from his friend.

“Do you think she could help the green guy out? Fix his anger management issues?” Sam asked.

“Banner? Hey, that’s not a bad idea.”

It took a little while to track down Banner. Steve didn’t have the resources they used to have, and Banner didn’t want to be found. It was actually Alex that was able to find him. A call to SHIELD and within two days she had exact coordinates for him.

They piled out of the car when they arrived at the abandoned warehouse he was supposed to be inhabiting. Alex was terrified. The whole trip had taxed her emotionally. Steve knew it was hard on her, but he also knew she needed to do it. She had to prove to herself she wasn’t a danger to the rest of the world.

Sam took her hand as they approached the building. “You’re gonna be okay, Feathers.” He said giving it a squeeze. She looked at him and smiled.

They entered the building. Steve couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. The Quinjet was in the hanger, but it had been altered. It was beginning to look more like a spacecraft.

“Captain?”

They turned to the voice. Bruce Banner came walking out of an office to the left of them. He was wiping his glasses on his grubby singlet.

“Doctor Banner,” Steve said nodding to his old friend. “It’s been a long time.”

“What are you doing here, Steve? Come to arrest me?”

Sam barked out a laugh.

“I would have hoped you knew me better than that, Bruce. Besides, all of us here are fugitives. Haven’t you heard.”

Alex frowned, wanting to correct him, but deciding against it. She may not be a fugitive, but she should be.

“I had heard there had been a little trouble. So what is it then? Come to recruit me to your new cause? I’m not interested.”

Steve shook his head. “No. We’ve come to help.”

Bruce sat surveying Alex. She was standing at the window staring out through the filth that had accumulated on it. She kept drawing shapes in the dirt. Love hearts, and snowflakes. He wasn’t convinced.

“Do you know how many dead ends I’ve chased trying to cure myself?” He sighed. “I can’t get my hopes up again.”

“She is very powerful, Bruce. You can test her first. Draw some blood. She can do this.” Steve implored.

“Banner!” A loud booming voice yelled, and Thor burst through the door. Alex jumped out of her skin. Her eyes sparked and she threw her hands out in front of her in a defensive stance.

“Steve! My friend! What brings you here?” Thor exclaimed, approaching Steve his arms held out. Steve stood and embraced him.

“They think they can cure me,” Bruce said and laughed. It was a hollow laugh, with no joy in it at all.

“But this is good news! How have you come across this cure?”

Alex had relaxed her powers. She had heard of Thor. Seen him on the television. She knew he wasn’t a risk to her. “That would be me.”

Thor looked at her and approached her a scowl on his face. “You look familiar, child. Who are your parents?”

Alex stumbled back from him. He may not be a threat to her, but his size still made him intimidating. “I don’t know.” She stammered. “My mom is – is just no one. I don’t know my dad. I look like my dad.”

Thor frowned and turned back to the others. “Well, what are we waiting for? If she has your cure, you should be using it.”

Bruce sighed and led them into his lab. He drew some blood and poured it into a Petri dish. It bubbled and grew in volume, it’s contents overflowing the dish. Alex took Bruce’s face in her hand and stared into him, examining his cells, looking for the thing that had been changed in him that was doing this to him. When she was sure she had the cause of the problem and could see the solution she turned to the dish and hovered her hand over it. Her eyes sparked and the blood in the dish settled returning to its original volume.

“Is that it?” Steve asked when her eyes had returned to normal.

“Yeah. It was easy.” She smiled. Steve tucked a lock of her pitch black hair behind her ear. She snuggled into his chest.

Bruce wasn’t convinced. He thudded on the table beside the dish. The tray jumped, and blood spilled over the edge, but it remained the same volume as before. Bruce took the dish and put it under a microscope. Prodding it. Trying to make it angry.

“I don’t believe it. You actually did it.”

There weren’t a lot of places to sleep in the old hanger. Sam stayed behind and slept in the Quinjet, but Steve and Alex went and checked in to a dingy motel up the road. Alex checked in under a fake name and paid cash. The guy who ran it didn’t bother checking any of her details. She rewarded him by curing his arthritis while his back was turned on her.

Alex stepped through the door of their room. It smelled of mold and cigarettes and she wrinkled her nose. Steve placed a hand on the middle of her back. She turned to face him.

“I am really proud of you, Alex.” He said, pulling her into his arms. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant with you since you got back. I’ve been having trouble seeing the girl I fell in love with.”

Alex wrapped her arms around his waist. “You can see her now?”

Steve nodded and placed a light kiss on her temple.

“Steve.” Alex breathed. “I need you.”

The words awoke something in him. He wanted to make love to her like they hadn’t since the first time. Really connect with her again. He cupped her chin in his large hand and kissed her, guiding her back towards the bed. Her fingers fumbled at the buttons on his shirt as their lips caressed each other. The first time they had made love Alex had been the confident one. She knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid of it. Steve was shy, uncertain, afraid of making a mistake. It was like their roles had been reversed. Alex was scared that if she made one wrong move it would be over again. She would lose him for good. Steve just wanted her.

He pulled his shirt off, throwing it in the corner of the room, and then grabbed her's and yanked it off over her head. She unhooked her bra, and let it fall from her arms. There was a brief pause as they admired each other’s physique. They had both been made thanks to the super soldier serum. Steve’s muscular body a direct result of the serum, giving him height and muscle mass. Her body, however, was crafted by her to be exactly what she wanted. It was like it was airbrushed and straight from the pages of a magazine.

He fell on her, kissing her, exploring her mouth, grazing his teeth over her lips. He moved along her jaw, nipping at her earlobe, causing her to moan and her head to roll back. He kissed down her neck, sucking on the skin, biting at it, knowing he couldn’t mark her, but trying anyway. He ran the point of his tongue along her collar bone, and as he did he lifted her up and moved her back onto the bed, so she was lying in the middle of it. He moved to her breasts. He sucked one nipple into his mouth and bit at the hard peak. She gasped and arched against him. He loved how her body responded to him. He needed it. Craved it.

He moved further down, trailing his lips along her skin. He reached the top of her shorts and he yanked them from her. He bit the inside of her thigh and sucked on the skin.

“Please, Steve.” Alex murmured. It felt like she was a bundle of tightly wound, exposed nerves, waiting for release. Her whole body screamed out for him. She wanted him. Needed him to take her.

His tongue entered her folds. She whined and squirmed under him. He lapped at her. When his tongue hit her clit it sent a shock wave through her and she made this guttural primal sound. He pushed two fingers inside of her moist entrance. She cried out bucking against him.

“Steve, please. I need you.” She moaned as he worked his fingers inside of her, rolling them inside, as she clenched her walls around him.

He sat up and unfastened his fly, pushing his trousers down. He moved so he was positioned above her. His cock pressed against her mound.

“I love you, Steve,” Alex whispered, reaching her hands to his face, tracing them along his lips, and down his jaw.

He kissed her, it was deep and tender and full of all the desire he had for her. For them together. He entered her.

They were as one again, moving, clenching, thrusting together, bringing each other closer and closer to climax. The began to moan, and grunt against each other. Alex ran her hands through Steve’s hair, tugging at it. When they came, they came together, holding each other. Moaning each other’s name.

Alex stood in the clearing of the forest facing Bruce. She felt calm and in control. The others had taken them to a place far from anywhere, where no one could be hurt if something went wrong. They were on comms, listening but out of reach if they Hulk came to defend his place on this world. Alex was not worried though. The Hulk couldn’t hurt her, and she could do this.

“Are you ready?” Alex asked smiling at Bruce.

“I’m not sure. I feel like this is too good to be true.” He said. He was jittery, rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“You need to be calm. He’s going to fight back.”

Bruce sighed. “I know, which is exactly why I’m not calm.”

Alex put her hands on Bruce’s chest and slid them outwards. “I can do this.”

Bruce took a deep breath and nodded.

She looked into him again, assessed his cells and her powers engaged. She started changing him, repairing the cells, sending the repaired cells out to replace the damaged ones. It was going well, not rapidly, but smoothly. He was changing, returning to the person he was supposed to be.

The Hulk fought back. His body started changing, the damaged cells fighting for control. Alex doubled down, fighting him, changing them back. Bruce tried to control it, tried to hold the Hulk back, keep him buried. He fell to the ground, panting, his body convulsing. She knelt down beside him, holding him as she focused on fixing this.

She had this. She did. She was winning.

And then she wasn’t. Her energy dropped. She couldn’t keep it up. He was wrestling control from her.

Bruce looked up at her, his face contorted in pain. “Run!” He yelled.

She powered down and ran. She didn’t get far. The Hulk had her. He held her in one hand, crushing her. She tried to use her powers to protect herself, they engaged, her skin became a hard shell. The Hulk smashed her onto the ground and the shell shattered. Her energy was waning.

“Steve!” She screamed. “Steve! Can you hear me!”

“What is it, Alex? What’s happened!”

The Hulk was crushing her, she could feel her bones crack and break under the pressure he exerted on her. As they broke they repaired, draining her of more energy only to have them break again. “The Hulk. He won. I couldn’t do it.”

The world started to swim, he was crushing the life from her.

“We’re coming, Alex. We’ll get you.”

“It’s too late, Steve. I love you.” She said. It was barely a whisper. This was right. She needed to die. She didn’t belong in this world. Steve would be sad, but he’d move on. She would be at peace knowing for one night she had been good enough for him. “I love you, okay.”

“Alex, stay with me. I love you, please hold on. We’re coming.”

That was the last thing she heard. The world went black.

~ END ~

#steve rogers #steve rogers x oc #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #angst #at a Cellular Level

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mrs-hongs-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Like A Caffeine Rush (Pt. 2)

m e m b e r : LEE JIHOON ;;

g e n r e : fLUFF ofc <3

w o r d c o u n t : 1.7k

i n t r o : A good looking barista who made the best Iced Americano and a pretty law student who spent her time drowning in books in his cafe, a love that blossomed over a cup of coffee. Will they eventually grow to love each other, especially when they have feelings for each other that felt like a caffeine rush?

a / n : ahhh!! i’m sorry this took long, but here you go! i promise i’ll post regularly, i’m working on the requests now, so please be patient! thanks everyone, please like and reblog if you liked it <3

“Wait, so you’re telling me, you have something going on with the school’s hottie barista, Lee Jihoon?!” Your best friend freaked out at the lunch table, causing a few stares. “Okay, you need to shut, UP!” You said, pushing her back down on her seat. “How the hell- Then again I’m not surprised. You’re a hottie yourself, and you visit his café everyday. It was bound to happen. Everyone knows.”

You looked at her, eyes wide open. “What did you mean by that?” It was you turn to freak out now. Your best friend put a spoonful of her salad in her mouth, “Well, we can all see Jihoon staring at you from the counter and you always day-dreaming in his direction.” Seems like your little crush wasn’t really that little and hidden after all.

Still in shock, you felt someone slide strawberry milk infront of you. You looked up and saw Jihoon, his face was tense and he was like his usual self. “Here’s some strawberry milk, don’t starve.” He smirked when you raised your eyebrow. “Don’t worry Mr. Hottie, I am well fed by you looking like a snack.” Jihoon blushed at your words and you guys shared eye contact for awhile before your best friend squeaked.

“Are you serious?! Right in front of my salad?!”

Class was pretty boring, but the butterflies in your stomach just kept you alive and smiling foolishly to yourself. As soon as class ended, you walked down the hallways to the lockers before heading to café and you saw the waitress, Cheryl. She stopped you in your tracks, “How did last night go?” You smiled and told her everything, including his kiss on your cheek.

“Ah, Jihoon knew how to hit it off well. Lucky you!” She smiled before waving you goodbye. You continued walking to your locker and put all your unnecessary books in the locker, touching up on your makeup and perfume. “Hey! Iced Americano!” You turned around to see Jihoon. He was wearing a sweater, bag slinged on one shoulder.

You smiled and as you were going to close your locker, someone closed it for you. “Hi princess.” You looked at the who it was and turns out, it was your childhood friend, Daniel. “Oh my gosh! Daniel! It’s been so long!” You jumped to hug him, in which he returned. You guys pulled away afterawhile and he smiled, so did you.

“Are you officially enrolled here?” You squeaked and he nodded before you smiled even wider. “Now, I’ll never be away from my princess!” You guys laughed and you remembered Jihoon. “Oh! Listen, I’ll catch up soon. I have to go study at the café.” He nodded, “By the way, Tiffany stays in the same block as you.” You smiled, the three of you were inseperable when you guys were young before Tiffany moved away when you guys were in middle school, with Daniel following towards the end of high school.

Although you guys always texted in the group chat, Daniel and Tiffany got together officially 2 summers back, and you are happy for the both of them. “It feels nice that we’re reunited again. I should see if I can room with Tiff but, catch up later.” Daniel nodded before you guys separated and you walking to Jihoon.

“Hi Coffee Prince! Sorry to keep you-“ “Who was that? Princess?” Jihoon looked at you with a semi-pissed and semi-upset face, was he jealous? You laughed at his jealous face, “That was my childhood friend, we grew up together before he moved away a few years ago. I was shocked to see him.”

“But why princess? Are you guys together?” You shook your head, “When we were young, I used to be the only girl at the playground so I was the princess and he was my servant! The name always stuck though.” He nodded before returning to silence. I smiled quietly, “You’re my prince though.”

You mumbled quietly but he heard it, cheeks flushed red and walking into the café counter. “I’m going to go first.” I nodded and Cheryl just smiled at Jihoon walking away and looked at you. “Get a room you two.” You laughed and walked to take a seat as usual, before ordering an Iced Americano.

You were studying for the past few hours and as the sky grew darker, the lesser the amount of people in the café. You looked up to see the Council President sitting infront of the counter, a few tables from you. You always knew she was beautiful, but she really looked like a goddess.

You see Jihoon take off his apron and leave the counter with 2 drinks. You guys made eye contact, and you feel blood flush to your cheeks as he approached. Unfortunately, he was stopped by the Council President, Adriana, I think it was her name.

She smiled at him and said something, winking to him and sliding a piece of paper to him. Jihoon looked at her, and you were 100% sure her was going to sit down with her and ditch you. Instead, he picked up the piece of paper, crushing it emotionlessly and walking towards you. You gasped and the shock on her face was pretty evident and you could see Cheryl laughing from your side eye.

“Jihoon! Why did you do that?” You asked, quietly in shock. He calmly pulled a chair nearby to your table and sitting down, giving you the drink before sipping his own. “That? She acted like a whore, throwing herself on me and giving me her number. She’s too easy.” Your eyes widened at what he said and your stomach churned.

Too easy? Of course, with his godly looks, any girl would pounce on him the chance they get. Was he just with you for the challenge because you were different? You were deep in over-thinking before he snapped you back to reality.

“Stop it.” He said, sternly, sipping on his drink. You raised a brow, confused. “You’re over-thinking. I’m not with you because you are hard to get. I genuinely like you.” It was as if he read your mind and you sighed before it got to you, WAIT WHAT?! He liked you? Did he just confess?

“I’m going to leave if you stare in blank air.” You apologized and he watched over youstudying for your next major test. “Do you need a ride back?” He asked, breaking the silence and you looked up to him, eyes batting. “Is that fine with you or is it inconvenient?” He shook his head gently, smirking.

“I would gladly send you home every night, and only I should be able to do that.” You blushed to his possessiveness, this man will be the end of you. You nodded silently, “So it’s settle, I’m sending you home everyday.” Before you could disagree, he stood up and walked back to the counter.

If only he knew how crazy he drove you.

Before you knew it, the café closed and you were the only one left. You packed everything into a bag and grabbed a cloth to help wipe down the tables. “Hey. That’s my job!” Cheryl shouted cheerfully form the counter, both of you breaking out in laughter, while you continued wiping the table down.

“You are unbelievable. First, you took away my son, now you’re robbing me of my jobs? I’m going to faint!” She says, the back of her hand on her forehead, as if she’s fainting. Jihoon walked out of the kitchen, looking at the both of us and our ridiculous antics. I wondered how stupid we looked.

The both of you laughed before continuing, and soon, Cheryl left, leaving you to wait by the door for Jihoon. “Ready?” He asked and you took a sharp breath. He looked so bloody good in his black shit, grey jacket and grey sweats. You nodded and followed behind him to his car.

The ride was silent, not awkward but pleasant and the music made up for it. Halfway through the ride, He put his free hand on your thigh, and would occasionally squeeze it. It was almost as if he was reassuring you that he was there, by your side.

He pulled into the parking lot and snatched your mountain of books from you before alighting, and you followed. He easily carried the books with one hand, but you were not surprised, considering his relatively buff arms. You ran next to him, and slid your hands in it and he took a sharp breath before interlocking it.

You guys walked sweetly to your dorm, but were stopped on the way by Daniel. “Daniel? Are you a girl now, why are you here?” You guys laughed and you were about to hug him, before Jihoon tightened his grip, making you stay by his side. Daniel looked down at your hands and nodded, smirking. He was about to say something before someone ran up to him.

“Babe! Here you go! Sorry I forgot.” You opened your eyes and the both of your squeaked. “Tiffany! It has been long.” You both chirped away, before you remembered Jihoon being there. “Oh, catch up next time okay? I’ll try to ask if they let me room with you.” She nodded, before she grabbed Daniel’s hand and walking away, you doing the same.

The walk back was silent again, definitely not uncomfortable though. Holding hands sweetly, and as usual he came in to put your books on your table. “Thank you, for sending me home again.” You smiled and he just rolled your eyes. “This is the last time you’re going to thank me for sending you home, because I’m going to do this all the time.”

You guys shared eye contact, breaking into giggles. “But really, Thank you.” You said once more, Jihoon sighed. “That’s it.” He swept you off your feet and threw you on your bed, you squealing. “Stop it silly!” He kept tickling you, but you cut him off by pulling him into a kiss.

The kiss was gentle, but passionate. You both pulled away shortly after, catching your breaths. He held your face against his palm, “Finally, I have the whole universe in my palms.” You blushed and swatted his hand away, him laughing.

He pulled you into a hug, chin resting on the top of your head. “You are mine, do you hear me? You are my princess, and only mine to love. I’m selfish, but I want you all to myself, you hear me?” You blushed, hiding in his chest before nodding.

Part 1 — Part 2

#woozi #lee jihoon #jihoon #seventeen woozi #woozi imagines #woozi scenarios #woozi smut #jihoon imagines #jihoon smut #seventeen jihoon

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kairoth · 7 years ago

Note

Could you do all of the questions?

heyhey! yea! done on my laptop :>

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?♥ usually more milk but then i try to fix the ratio and it ends up being more cereal asfh

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?♥ eehhh sometimes

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?♥ mostly just pieces of paper lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?♥ with LOTS of sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?♥ yes. it's gross

6: do you keep plants?♥ yea!

7: do you name your plants?♥ ofc i do

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?♥ music mainly. like you'll know my mood by knowing what song i listen to

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?♥ ye ~

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?♥ my side usually but i move a lot in my sleep

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?♥ bongwater,,

12: what’s your favorite planet?♥ saturn! and pluto,,, and jupiter ahh

13: what’s something that made you smile today?♥ thinking about puppies !!!!!!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?♥ idk? messy

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!♥ apparently you get taller in space

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?♥ this is boring of me but i like plain ol' pasta with butter and salt the most

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?♥ white with purple ombre !

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.♥ HHH when i was 6 months old i ate a spider and anyone who knows about it never lets me live it down

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?♥ i try to keep em and write in em but i often forget

20: what’s your favorite eye color?♥ mmm i can't choose, they're all great !

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.♥ oof my batman backpack that i gave to my dad. that thing went through A LOT. my new one is really good too tho. it's just red and black but it's served me well.

22: are you a morning person?♥ depends on if i've gotten a good night's sleep and if i'm particularly excited for the day!

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?♥ sleep, listen to music, read

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?♥ yea. we don't talk anymore tho. i miss him

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?♥ nowhere? i've never broken in before

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?♥ i always wear my vans til they fall apart. my current pair are space themed bc ofc

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?♥ juicyfruit ig?

28: sunrise or sunset?♥ sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?♥ ASFH UHM idk?? them just being themselves is enough for me to smile over them

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?♥ yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.♥ i wear mismatched socks all the time but like they do match each other somewhat. like. i have a bunch of stitch socks and i don't wear their match but i'll wear another stitch sock with it.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.♥ uhh me and two friends played never have i ever over kik once and long story short we learned a lot abt each other. some things we never wanted to know

33: what’s your fave pastry?♥ idk! i like danish pastries pretty well tho

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?♥ teddy!! i got him when i was 5 from my cousin for like a nickel. he's just a standard lil brown teddy bear. and ofc i still have him asdgh can't sleep without him. i even bring him to sleepovers

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?♥ yea! i use them when i can

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?♥ EDEN. and crywank generally fits me too

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?♥ i like it to be clean but often it just gets cluttered and i don't have the motivation to clean it

38: tell us about your pet peeves!♥ uhhh i hate rude, arrogant, judgemental people, disloyalty, uhm, the sound that weird plastic makes, uhhh idk

39: what color do you wear the most?♥ mostly black and white

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?♥ my solar system bracelet! i saw the post for it on tumblr and sent it to my mum, and she ended up getting it for me for christmas!

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?♥ we were liars by e. lockhart. if i had to choose a fave it'd be that one. i sobbed for days after reading it. i think it kinda did smthn to my soul

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!♥ i do not sadly :<

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?♥ my mum, i think ?

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?♥ oof, when harley was still here. it was a nice day, the sun was shining through my window, birds singing, EDEN playing softly, and harley was all cuddled up on my chest with his head tucked under my chin, purring away.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?♥ depends. i try to evenly listen to my instincts and to logic

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.♥ my friend used to make a lot of bone puns bc of undertale and sans and one of my faves is "wasn't that HUMERUS"

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?♥ SEAFOOD it's grrrrrrrrrrroooooooosssss

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?♥ death. and yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?♥ haven't bought many of those, i mostly listen to spotify :0 i did get the vinyl of black parade that mcr was giving out for the anniversary !

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?♥ crystals ig? pokemon cards, pens, books. uhh. i have a lot of paper and notebooks lmao

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?♥ mm. good times by all time low.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?♥ uhh idk i like all of em

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?♥ heathers is epic and i love christian slater but also his voice is hilarious, beetlejuice was good and amazingly weird, and i've no seen the other two yet.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?♥ HHH. the other day my mum's friend was talking abt how she's having problems with renters and she looked like she was gonna cry but it was more frustration than anything so idk?

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?♥ man idk it's prob somethin big but i don't remember

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?♥ ? idk. it depends ig?? like for my one friend i love that he loves animals, for my other i love that she loves music. for one i love her kindness and outward innocence and i find it hilarious when she actually shows her angry or sassy side.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?♥ god i love bohemian rhapsody. so good. so catchy. the best. me and my former bff used to sing it all the time

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?♥ mmmm idk :0

59: what’s your favorite myth?♥ i love myths abt creatures! my faves are about the fae folk.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?♥ idk :0

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?♥ uhh just a basic gift card ig. and uhm idk?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?♥ mm if i have juice i'll drink it!

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?♥ i try to keep them organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?♥ it's getting late and it's kinda cloudy and grey

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?♥ yeaa.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?♥ mmm idk! maybe lots of purple and light blues? :0

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?♥ bad. i've always been nervous with storms and whatnot and those kinda days just make me jittery.

68: what’s winter like where you live?♥ well for a while it actually is winter and gets cold. but it's florida so ofc it goes back to being hot af.

69: what are your favorite board games?♥ i've always been fond of sorry sliders and candy land

70: have you ever used a ouija board?♥ NO AND I NEVER WILL. my mum and aunts did once and HHHHHHHH they ended up with a possessed barney doll

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?♥ earl grey ! i really wanna try lavender tea tho

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?♥ yea but i don't often actually do it

73: what are some of your worst habits?♥ i sleep and procrastinate too much but i'm trying, i pick at threads a lot hhh,

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.♥ ok uhh. they remind me of a canary bird. i associate them with yellow and pink. they're super sweet. always helpful. sad and i wish i could help them more. all in all a v good friend and v good person.

75: tell us about your pets!♥ OOF OK GET READY. syd: sydney, my man. the big orange floof. meathead. he likes to stand up and hold onto your shirt or pants and it's cute but also CLAWS. v smart, knows that if he annoys me enough i'll open my door for him. maggie: pretty pretty princess. also the grossest princess. beaut white, brown capped fur and green gold eyes and cutest lil meows. bean: has two thumbs, one is teensy tiny. meows are like inaudible. usually grumpy and will run if you pet her. only accepts affection when she's sleepy. sebastian: the real grumpy cat. russian blue boy. has a hard time jumping correctly now cos he's old. always talking and complaining. likes pets. will fight you. ash: scaredy boi. dark as night. murrs instead of meows bc he wasn't raised by other cats. rarely purrs but you know he loves you. likes head bumps. will scratch you if you're not paying attention to him. can be a bully. arrow: FAT. has scabs bc he keeps scratching himself,, why boi why (we think he's allergic to smthn). meows LOUDLY. eats everyone's food. likes to go outside. once got stuck in the same tree twice. shelby: old girl. jack russel. super hyper but also LAZY. only sleeps under blankets. gets jealous. will force her way onto your lap. the smelliest dog in existence i swear. emmy: chihuahua. grumpyyyy old lady. always telling people to shut up (mostly shelby). cute tho. has seizures sometimes. will purposefully use the bathroom on the floor where you'll step or on something of yours if you upset her. moriarty: my snek! good boy. likes to be under his paper towels. smol. has a cute face. percy: GRUMPY leopard gecko. she's a blizzard morph and she looks purple. so grumpy aaaaaaaaah. red: my betta girl. the other girls with her (blue and esme) died. she comes up to the glass to say hi to you. oscar the grouch: hedgehog. SO GRUMP. he literally turned his entire house around so you can't see him. rude. lillith, yuki, and star: ferrets. inseperable. good little catsnakes who i love. yuki has a thing for feet and shoes. star messes with the dogs/cats by nipping them. lillith is good but bites a bit hard. the chickens: we named them after the avengers. cap can die. literally she hates me and my mum she tries to fight us. RUDE.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?♥ yes. schoolwork

77: pink or yellow lemonade?♥ i like both !

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?♥ uhh hate club ig? idrk?????

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?♥ mmmMM my former bff used to be very supportive of my clinginess and she would be talking and i could just like hold my hands out to her or hug her and she'd be totally ok with it and not even pause talking. the best thing ever tbh

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?♥ two walls are light grey and the other two are a slightly darker grey! i chose it :> i wanted a good neutral color besides beige or white.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.♥ mmm. like the sun shining through the branches of the trees.

82: are/were you good in school?♥ i mean?? ig? i get ok grades (mostly Bs) but i always procrastinate assignments cos i'm lazy and unmotivated

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?♥ ooohh my fave is from life starts now by three days grace. i actually made it my theme once on chrome

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?♥ yea! i wanna get a lot of space related ones! and maybe the chip number of my boy harley

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?♥ mm. i read webcomics! a fave of mine is stutterhug by samantha davies on taptastic :>

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?♥ uhhhhhhh i don't know any off the top of my head and i looked it up and it says american idiot by green day is one and i love them so? yeah

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?♥ THE CROW. and the last unicorn!! both so good

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?♥ i've always been fond of symbolism

89: are you close to your parents?♥ i'm close to my mum! not so much my dad

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.♥ woodsboro, maryland! that's where my aunts and cousins live. i love going up there!

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?♥ idk! my mum did bring up going somewhere this year tho

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?♥ barely even a pinch. unless it's spaghetti and that powdery parmesan cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?♥ wellll we shaved the sides and back so it's just long at the top and flipped sideways

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?♥ ? it was my mum's boss's birthday a few days ago :0 we all had lunch together and she asked me what name she should call me by. i love her tbh

95: what are your plans for this weekend?♥ hopefully i can go see the puppies !!!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?♥ procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?♥ infp, leo but i relate more to my scorpio chart, and hufflepuff!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?♥ i've never actually been hiking!! and tbh i enjoy pretty much anything long as i'm with someone i like!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.♥ jupiter by EDEN, leech boy by crywank, lost//found by EDEN, boats & birds by gregory and the hawk, and saturn by sleeping at last. a lot of others too ahh

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?♥ five years in the past. i could fix a lot of things that happened.

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alightparticle · 7 years ago

Text

The story of a 🌌

Hey.

Hey the person that i used to called y galaxy when i told a stories about y to my friends. Cuz u kno why? Y were a galaxy to me a vast and mesmerising things i've ever found.

The first time when i saw y, y looked so cute in yr light brown vest. Held a pocket camera with yr maroon eiger hat.

The second day i met y. Y shared a same playlist in my car. Y drank the same coffee as i was. We sat on a sbux bench at rest area km93 while everyone ate at kfc.

Since that day i always payed attention with yr stupid yet cute act.

And since that day too i was always be yr stalker on ig, path or even facebook. I wanna know y more.

Y were the type of person with cold emotion. Y said that y were ambivert.

I asked y once when we both walked to alfa while everyone watched futsal match

"kamu tuh emang gini ya? Cuek banget"

"Eh aku cuek kaya gimana?"

"Ga dalam semua hal si tapi kebanyakan iya"

Then i became quite. I felt so guilty at that time.

After that i sat alone and called my friend to talked about what happened here.

Y came to me and said "jangan disitu sendirian nanti kamu diculik" then i moved a lil bit closer to the others and u sat across my spot. Looked at the sky.

I came back to the bench near the field and y sat next to me. U listned all of my convo

"Ini nih ada yang nguping terus"

"diem ya jangan cerita sm siapa siapa"

Since that day. Y showed that y were not a cold person anymore. That was i feelt. I guessed. Was it true?

In the early morning. I went to school. That was my schedule. Y still in yr navy blue t-shirt and yr short pants above yr knee haha. Haven't tooked a bath yet. Y held a glass of tea while i was tied my shoe laces.

"Mal mal mal"

"Hah?"

"Minum dulu"

"Eh iya makasih to"

I remembered when we walked from balai desa to our home.

"Duh mal aku tuh paling ga bisa tahan tau sama sepatu"

"Sumpah sama"

"Nanti kalo pas di look fest aku berlebihan gimana"

"Entar amal bilang: to ih inget jangan boros tapi ga apa apa yg itu bagus hahaha"

And then we argued about who would bought a tickets. Till in the end i didn't went and watch yr snapchat recorded elephant kind.

The part that i loved to remembered about y is when we rode yr black grey honda. No matter where as long as i went with y it was never been boring. Y talked about this and that.

Once, when it was our schedule to went to the market (while there was another person and another motorbike) y said in a hurry

"Mal cepet sini mal"

Y asked me to went with y instead y with someone else or me with another motorbike.

"Iya iya"

"Kalo Pagi pagi tuh disini enak ya"

"Iya ya"

"Liat langitnya bagus"

"Ih iyaa"

I still remembered how it was looked like it was blue, pink, and purple at the same time. I felt the wind passed through my face. I love this morning.

One day we need more stethoscope to do an event 'pemeriksaan kesehatan' i know that my friend had more than two stethoscope but she was in another village which was far from us.

I asked seto to accompanied me.

We went to my friend's.

It was quite a long way.

We passed some field, river and cemetery between trees it wasn't scared at all. Cuz it still around 4pm.

In our way home we saw a sunset between a ricefield. It was amazing.

On the next day we had to gave back the stethoscope to my friend. And ofc. Seto is my best companion.

It was night when we went to the village. That is why it was so freakinly scary. I hid behind his back when we passed the cemetery. And in we headed home he said

"Mal cepet ambil hp aku buka maps kita lewat jalan lain arahin ya"

"Awas nyasar ih"

"Engga kita tuh di utara bla bla bla"

"Iya iya. Ah to tuhkan malah lewat jalan sawah udah gelap jalannya batu batu gini. So tau sih ah. Too ih ya ampun kuburan kenapa lewat sini sih"

"Udah si kamu mah tau sampe aja belokin ya"

"Parahlah jangan ih macem macem, to jangan lupa ke alfa ya syah nitip apa gitu td"

"Iya"

"Eh pasar malam hahaha to mau itu to"

"Ih ini mah wayang wayangan ya, mau apa?"

"Ituuuu cotton candy"

And we bought that cotton candy. When we arrived everyone had a meeting and i held a cotton candy that already unshaped. Awkwardly.

There was an event that asked us to be a partner. We went to around balai kota and asked a permission letter and gave an invitation letter for our event. I spend a whole day with him. His snapchat and path was full of me hahaha.

On the other day he asked me to went to repair shop cause his motorbike was really uncomfortable. We spended a whole day together again i slept at alfa bench and waited the repair shop opened cause it was friday. He ate his as always food at alfa strawberry icecream walls cup and gummy bear and a kind of milk tea or something. Snapchated my ugly face while i was sleeping. At the repair shop, it his turned to slept. Huft. After that we grabbed a drink and my trousers ripped -_-. We backed.

The freakin next day he asked me again to washed his black grey honda. We went to another village and talked about this and that.

"Mal tau mitokondria?"

"Taulah nannya sama anak biologi, mitokondria itu asalnya bakteri yang di makan sm sel lain yang akhirnya jadi mitokondria. Sm kaya kloroplas"

"Mal kan manusia terdiri dari materi materi tidak hidup ya? Kenapa ya manusia bisa hidup?"

"Terus kan sekarang organ organ udah bisa dibuat ya kan dari materi materi ga hidup itu?"

"Mal kamu tau consciousness ga?"

"Kalau ilmuan bisa bikin consciousness tuhan ga perlu ada lagi atuh ya?"

"Tapi to, kan kita belum tau kedepannya gimana lagian kalaupun bisa iya. Terus gimana sm keberaturan yg ada didunia ini? Ga mungkin kan ga ada yang ngatur?"

Y made me wanna learnt more. I don't wanna stuck with that's kind of question anymore.

Y were smart. I like yr mind. I wanna answer a lot of questions with y.

There was a day when we sat in front of the house looked at the stars. I love stars. I love yr knowledge about stars and photographs. No i love all of yr knowledge.

When both of our friends went to hospital. We wanna saw them. We used his motorbike and went away to a freakin far away hospital. We stopped at a market.

"Mal beli buah yu"

"Yu beli apa ya amal mau strawberry"

"Ih asem loh"

"Engga ah merah gini"

When i tried it at hospital i was cringe and looked at him

"Iya asem"

"Tuhkan"

Several days later one of our friend had to left because her disease became more worst. I cried. He calm me down and holding my shoulder.

"Udah udah ga apa apa"

A month wasn't enough for me to know y.

a night before we left this house around 12am.

"Mal jajan yuk"

"Jam 12 malem banget to? Yuk tar amal siap siap dulu"

"Iya"

"Yuk kemana"

"Jalan kaki aja ya ke warung guguk beli eskrim"

"Atuhlah too ayok"

But the shop was closed. We both laughed.

At that night we had to confess our feeling after all of we've been through.

I sat in front of the door cause i needed some oxygen. He sat across my spot and suddenly moved before these thing started. He sat next to me.

It was his turn. What i remembered about his speech haha. He was grateful and will miss all of our activities here. Next turn he pointed me.

I also grateful to know all of them (and definitely knowing y). A month wasn't enough for me. I love to spend my day with y. I love to listen to yr nonsense but mesmerising tought. I love yr capability to rate a movie. I love went some where and find a random ways with y. I love all the stupid things that y do. I love when y gave those kittens a bear brand milk. I know y love it too.

I don't know about how my feeling for y. What i know that i like yr beautiful mind.

I saw my self in y. It's like see my slef in a boy version except the fact that y were a diligent and freakinly smart person.

After that month. I have no bravery to talked to y. So, we didn't talked much. What i can do just stalkin haha I'm good at that.

I think y just out of my league. But. I never fall as deep as this after all of this time.

Hey dear my immortal crush.

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t-shrt · 5 years ago

Text

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

#tag #tag meme #tags

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insanemoonfish · 8 years ago

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Why! those useless, vain forms are! so fun to fill!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk, because I already get my daily intake of milk with my coffee!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No because it ends up messing with my nose! And I hate feeling cold!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I usually read on my phone or memorize the page number. If I really need a bookmark I just use a scrap of paper.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea bag in mug with hot microwaved water, coffee powder in mug with hot microwaved milk (plus cinnamon, sweetener, and vitamins).

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Not really but I dislike my face in general :'D I have this thing where I don't truly recognize my face as my own ???

6: do you keep plants? No, but I may keep a garden in the future because I love flowers!

7: do you name your plants? I'm the kind of person who names RPG characters as their class! So my plants would have very creative names like Rose and Carnation!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I don't really express my feelings, I stomp on them! But I guess I can draw!

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes, it's fun and keeps me awake!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Side until I'm drowsy enough, then on my back like in a coffin!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? What friends!??!? Jokes?? AHAHA

12: what's your favorite planet? Shockingly I don't have one! I like Uranus because it's light blue but the name!!!!!

13: what's something that made you smile today? MEMES!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Like hell!

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Why... okay. "Neutron stars can spin at a rate of 600 rotations per second." IDK if this is true!

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Instant emergency noodles!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? White! I wanna be a white-haired animu grill!

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. What! Friends!!!

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes, I write down my nightmares! It makes them less frequent and scary for some reason!

20: what's your favorite eye color? Grey, maybe! All are great!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I have had a few school backpacks like that!

22: are you a morning person? I can function at morning, but I without a doubt work better at night! Not sure if that counts as not being a morning person!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? HAHAHAHAHAA!!!

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? I DON'T EVEN TRUST MYSELF

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? WHY WOULD I EVER- some abandoned houses, some classrooms, some janitor's closets, some school storerooms,

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Boots > shoes :)

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? TUTTI-FRUTTI!!!! I'M CHEWING SOME RIGHT NOW

28: sunrise or sunset? SUNSET. SUNRISE SUCKS not only because it lasts for exact 5 seconds BUT BECAUSE IT'S COLD and school time! Sunsets are cool because they remind me of DEATH!

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? IDK I'm easily impressed most people can just breathe and I'll find it "endearing" and fascinating

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? YEAH DAMNED NIGHTMARES JUST

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS, THERE ARE 0 REASONS TO NOT LOVE THEM. But I don't sleep with them unless it's very cold. And black socks all the way.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. R E G R E T S

33: what's your fave pastry? IS THE CAKE THING OF A PETIT GATEAU A PASTRY? I DON'T KNOW MANY OF THEM AND I'M TOO TIRED TO GOOGLE IT

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? PURA THE TIGER, named after the tiger from Crash Bandicoot. It was the Parmalat tiger without the milk bag that I cut off. No, I donated it because it made me nostalgic.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Whas this :'D I don't care about pretty I literally only bring 2 cheap black retractable pens to school

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Don't ask me about music THANK YOU

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean because I'm allergic to dust!

38: tell us about your pet peeves! When people assume things about me hhhhhhhhh

39: what color do you wear the most? Black, reds and navy 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? A silver necklace with a black pendant! IT REMINDS ME OF DEATH!!1 I'M REPEATING MYSELF!

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Miserables! Even though I don't remember it well, even after reading it TWICE! HOW! YOU GO, ME!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I HAVE COFFEE AT HOME ONLY ‘CAUSE I’M BROKE

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Don't remember, wasn't special

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? TODAY. IN THE CORE OF THE STRESS ZONE LIES A SERENITY ZONE, ALWAYS. CAN'T MISS IT.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? NO. FUCK INSTINCTS

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I'M TERRIBLE AT THESE AND I CAN'T THINK AT THE MOMENT.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? P E P P E R

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? ANGRY PEOPLE CHASING ME TO HURT ME IN VARIOUS WAYS! YES!

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? NO! LONG LIVE ONLINE PIRACY!

50: what's an odd thing you collect? NIGHTMARES!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I won't say names but there's A BOY, MY ANNOYING FRIEND WHO'S AN ENDLESS UNWANTED SOURCE OF SHITTY MEMES, that I always associate with the song "The Worse It Gets" from Penguin Prison.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? OH there's that jojo "to be continued" one, that brain illumination one, that one where a picture gets less and less detailed I don't even know

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Look this thing seemed smaller a few minutes ago and I want to finish it quickly and go to sleep

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? I'm the worst at recognizing what others are feeling and I don't pay attention because it's rude to stare and not my business

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I feel that I have a lot of examples of this but can't remember a single one

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? When they're insecure, it's amusing like oh don't be like that I really am NOT judging you you're amazing, unless they're really nasty ppl ofc

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I like this song it's funny and reminds me of an old friend

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? ROFL WHAT

59: what's your favorite myth? Again I FEEL I can answer this but right now my brain is not working

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I like poetry when it relates to me or when someone I know wrote it, otherwise I don't bother (UPDATE! Ye Wearie Wayfarer by Adam Lindsay Gordon RULES!!)

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? My memoryyyyyy

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? If I'm having last night's dinner for breakfast, yes, orange juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? YES. ORGANIZED AND VERY CLEAN.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? BLACK AS MY NOT-RUNNING SYNAPSES

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? I'd rather keep them buried in my deepest thoughts, far away from my superficial consciousness!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? My a e s t h e t i c sense is terrible but I like carnations and forget-me-nots

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Bad, I like the sky when it's blue

68: what's winter like where you live? Rainy, lots of fog, unpredictable weather.

69: what are your favorite board games? mmmmmmmmm IDK

70: have you ever used a ouija board? ughhhhhhhhhha

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Chamomile, it reminds me of my favorite horror game, Demento, and it’s sweet and delicious and pretty

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? If I didn't make an effort to memorize it, yes

73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails, neglecting people, being paranoid about some stuff, procrastinating, brushing my feels aside, I could go on,

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Well that's hard how about CANDY

75: tell us about your pets! THEY'RE GREAT IT'S A SHAME THEY'LL DIE SOON

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Obviously. Just OBVIOUSLY

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink, love pink, pink all the way, all the pinks.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? The IDC club

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Offer me their jacket when it started raining it was just AWWW. And when someone promised to be my friend FOREVER!!!!! HAHAHAA

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Nope because the bedroom is not mine HAHAHA well if I had one I'd paint everything white 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Chocolate, very sweet, much creativity

82: are/were you good in school? Can't you tell

83: what're some of your favorite album art? Don't ask me (8) about music (8)

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Absolutely not, it hurts, it attracts attention, it makes people know about me... If I ever got one It’d be a word or sentence or a small symbol

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Webcomics only, I’m... too lazy

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yes but... Lazy

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cosmos is not a movie but here I am talking about Cosmos again idk if you don’t like documentaries go watch Gran Torino 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? I’m sure there is but my brain is out

89: are you close to your parents? No unfortunately

90: talk about one of your favorite cities. Any safe and at least moderately urban city is fine with me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere, I don't really like traveling, it's stressful and expensive

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I DON'T LIKE PASTA OR CHEESE FIGHT ME

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Long, layered, side bangs

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Why does this matter

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Working.. WORK.. AHAHA

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I never install them, when I HAVE to I plan for it because it takes forever

97: Myers-Briggs type, zodiac sign, and Hogwarts house? INTP Leo Bronzebird

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? No because I was with my parents

99: list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them. So damn many I should make a list

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Wow hum... 5 years into the past I guess because I'd be able to study more and live longer (why living longer sounds smart to me? I must like to suffer)

#tag

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