#they keep saying it'll take up to a month to get back to me due to volume of applicants

[facinaoris]

about to be unemployed and need help for rent lmao. please click the link below and share/donate/scroll past.

Help CC w/ Rent

ya'll are definetly tired of my ass asking for money and so am i.

la pobreza mata.

[veone]

GSHADE 3.5.0 Cracked Tutorial Feb.2023

‼️Update:3/2023‼️ Due to gshade somehow being online again! You can still install the program with this tutorial but to avoid the update to version 4.2 notification keeping you from proceeding-Download the program from mediafire and then turn your pc to airplane mode and continue the process below! Note that when you turn your internet back on that your going to get the notification still ignore it. That what I’m doing.

Alright with the recent events regarding the development team of GShade figuratively going under and the current version of this program available being far from perfect. It would be lovely to back to a version of GShade that doesn't have malware, the changes that disabled the depth of field effects, and the removal of some older shaders. So here's a tutorial on how to install 3.5.0 of GShade. It's the version that we as a collective switched to all those months back, when GShade popped off in the community. Also the version I used to take this picture and got from @toskasimz who sent me the files. She's the reason why I have my pretty pictures back. It took a long time to get my preset to look like this and the modern versions of Gshade and Reshade don't have the shaders for this anymore. The suggested skill level for this is basic knowledge of how to install Reshade/Gshade and knowledge of where to find the game Bin file and Program Files on your pc.

Note: This version is before the code that shut down your PC, if you manipulated the code of the program, was introduced. Use at your own risk. I personally have no issue with using it. I'm using my laptop I do school work on and I have no money to buy a new one so that's my assessment on how safe it is.

To start download this media fire file. It's a Rar file. Unzip it.

In the unzipped version of this file, you should have a folder that's highlighted below called GShade.

Inside that file are two folders. Program Files-G-Shade and TS4 Bin Folder. These folder names correspond with where the contents of these will go on your pc.

Alright inside the folders you should have the following content in the Program Files-G-Shade

Inside the TS4 Bin Folder, you should have the following contents inside it.

Place the GShade folder from the Program Files-G-Shade into your computer's Program(x86) file. This may have a different name based on your computer.

Next Place the contents of the TS4 Bin Folder which should be the G-Shade configuration file and the folder of GShade-Shaders into your Bin folder. (note I have gshade installed already so you won't have the extra files before installation.)

Now go back to the Program(x86) file on your PC and go into the G-shade folder.

Double Click to run the program.

This is where you gonna need to pull your Reshade/Gshade knowledge. You just install the program as normal to the game. I will say I don't know if this will work with other games.

Alright, this is what you should be left with after installing G-Shade. Everything transferred to the Program Files with the exception of this folder. Leave it be and go to the Program Files file on your pc.

Once in the Program Files folder double click the GShade Control Panel.

You should get the following screen Go to the Installations tab. Delete this file path. This is a very important step. It's not gonna work if you don't reinstall the program. Delete it and click Add New.

Install the program as viewed above. Click Next and set up your screenshot folder.

Click No on viewing the guild. You should have a control panel on your desktop. You can go in a convert you reshade presets if needed.

Alright if everything was done correctly open your game. It'll take a moment to load and when it does you greeted with the following screen on start-up.

Ignore the yellow text on the top. It says that your effects are disabled because it's not online. It works I could be misinterpreting what "effect" means but my shader work so I'm not complaining.

And there you go. Installed, and works perfectly. Don't update it. I don't know what it'll do. I have not tried. I will upload an edited version of my preset later this week or tonight. I have to tweak the color of the fog and make a decent post. Enjoy! I am open to helping under this post and in dms!

[kaledya]

HOWDY!!🌟🌟 I haven't been active on Tumblr for a long time, to be honest I haven't been active on any platform until recently.

I think it would be right to make a small update and let my followers know what's on my mind.

(And a little note, I am writing this article from a translation. If there is a mistake in any sentence or if it sounds rude, I sincerely apologize.)

First of all, I would like to talk about why I am  less active than before.

I don't want to go into too much detail about it, so I'll keep it short, and it'll be easier for you too!

I have a disease that worsens with stress, and I can say that this disease has leveled up because I have been stressed a lot lately due to some events.Now, for no reason or if I put too much pressure on that arm area my joints and arm start to ache. This means I can't draw for 2-3 days.In general, it means that I try not to use my arm too much.

But don't worry, thanks to my doctor I'm getting better quickly and I don't have as much ache anymore, much less! Almost gone now!!🌟🌟🌟🎉

And besides these, I was trying to get accepted to the university, but I learned that my drawing skills were not enough for the animation university!( I knew this actually, my anatomy is really bad but I wanted to try my luck) It's a little sad, but I'm not discouraged!🫡

 (I think my only regret was that my arm started to hurt in the middle of the exam after I had come such a long way. Why on earth would anyone make two one and a half hour art exams back to back??) Show some mercy to the students!!)😭😭

༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

I just need to focus on more art skills  and I will do that!! From now on, I will focus only on improving myself and my arts! YIPPE!!

About  HH SS AU or My's OC development

It saddens me to say this, but even though I've been drawing in the HazbinHotel fandom for months, I've lost my inspiration at the moment.I probably won't be able to share any content about HazbinHotel until I regain my inspiration because I can't think of an idea or get excited about series anymore.But of course this is a temporary thing, my fandom had faded before but then it blossomed again!!

This is valid for SSAU as well, I don't have any inspiration to develop AU or draw for AU right now. 

And thank you very much to my followers who have liked and supported my HazbinHotel content so far!!!

Same goes for my OCs, I'm putting my OCs like Constantine and Serenity and the archangels on the shelf for now.Of course I will use them again in the future when I get inspired about them again, I love my babies!

About SSAU inspired fanfics Thank you again for loving this AU and for being inspired to write your own fanfic!!!

It makes me really happy to see you having fun And it makes me proud to see that I inspire people!! 

But from now on I don't prefer to use my HH OCs to write Fanfics,There are a few reasons for this but the main one is that I can't give you much feedback anymore and I wanted you to know that and I really don't want to upset or disappoint anyone when it comes to feedback.

Of course the fics about SSAU that have been written so far can continue, I have no problems with them, have fun!! I just want you to know I won't be able to give feedback  to you, or it will take a long time 

 This is of course temporary, I will let you know when I return to this fandom or change my mind about this!!

Some people ask about YouTube, I don't plan on posting any content on YouTube anytime soon.

Thank you in advance for respecting my opinions!

In short, yes, these are what I was going to say. It can be said that I have switched to the Gravity Falls fandom at the moment and I am sort of making my childhood dream come true by giving fanart to this fandom.And this is something that makes me very happy. 

Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

[sanguineterrain]

hii i love your work and wanted to send a request in :)

can you do “you’re just going to leave me here?!” and “i’m gonna come back for you , do you hear me?” for jason and reader? 💛

maybe they’re on a date and there’s a robbery nearby or a villain crashes a gala they are attending? also maybe the reader knows he’s red hood? or it’s early in their relationship that he hasn’t told them yet? idk if that makes sense, but if you pick this up i can’t wait to see where you take it! 💛

OH IT'S EMOTIONAL ANGST TIME! hurt no comfort 😈 thanks for requesting nonnie 🥰

jason todd x gn!reader | tw: angst, reader feels hurt, lying to protect a superhero identity (is red hood a hero? he is to ME.) i may write a pt 2 to this if there's interest 😎

****

Jason checks his phone for the fourth time tonight. You haven't even received your entrees yet.

"Everything okay?" you ask lightly.

Jason looks up, eyes wide. "Oh. Yes. Sorry, baby. Sorry."

You nod, trying to smile. "It's okay."

He puts his phone in his pocket. You try to relax and focus on your date. This place is upscale, much pricier than you're used to, but Jason had insisted. He'd said he hadn't been doing his due diligence of being your boyfriend and should take you out on more "proper" dates. You'd told him that was silly, of course; you'd be content to go anywhere with him.

But he's been acutely distracted these past few weeks, and you're starting to form terrible explanations in your head for why that might be.

You try to ignore it. You just want to spend time with your boyfriend; it's been so long.

"Oh my God, guess what happened at work today," you say.

Jason leans in, smiling. "Tell me. Was it Peggy from Marketing again?"

"Yes!" You laugh, shaking your head. "She's such a pain. I was in my cubicle when—"

Jason's watch starts to blare, the beep shrill and insistent. He curses and quickly taps at the screen. You slump back in your chair.

"Shit," he says and looks up at you.

You suddenly feel exhausted.

"Baby, I'm so sorry," Jason begins, rising from his chair. "God, fuck—you have no idea how sorry I am. It's my family, they—something's happened with my brother. He needs my help, unfortunately."

"So you're just going to leave me here?" you ask, mouth dropping open in shock. "Jay, we planned tonight two weeks ago!"

He winces. "I know. Fuck, I know, sweetheart. I'm so, so sorry. I'm gonna come back for you, okay? It'll be an hour, tops. Look, order anything you want. I'll leave my card, it's on me—"

You shake your head and stand. "No, Jason. I'm—look, I know your family is important to you, but you've done this a lot this past month, and it's not just hurtful, but it's starting to feel a little intentional. I don't know if I'm some kind of placeholder or, or—"

"Hey, no, no. You're not a placeholder. Please don't say that," Jason begs, reaching for your hand.

You keep your hand out of reach, eyes beginning to heat up.

"I'm going home," you say. "I hope your brother's okay."

"Sweetheart, please, come on. I don't wanna fight."

"Me neither," you say tiredly. "So we won't. Good night, Jason."

His watch beeps again, this time with a phone call. You walk out. It's a nicer part of Gotham, so getting a cab here isn't a problem.

Jason catches up to you instantly. He looks terrified, and it breaks your heart, but you don't have the energy tonight.

"Can I–can I call you tonight?" he asks, voice cracking.

A cab pulls up to the curb. The valet opens the door for you. Jason takes a step forward.

"I'd rather you didn't," you say quietly. "I need some time to myself, Jay."

Jason takes a step back.

"I'm sorry," he says again, desperate.

You sigh. "I know you are."

You get into the car. The valet closes the door. Jason watches you through the window, tugging at his curls like he does when he's stressed.

That night, your bed feels cold. You toss and turn for hours, trying to shake the feeling of a phantom arm snaked around your waist.

Jason doesn't call, like you'd requested. You cry anyway.

[queenshelby]

OSCAR SPECIAL (PART ONE OF FOUR)

Given Cillian’s recent success, I decided to jump ahead a little in my fics and give you a little Oscar Special. But don’t worry, I will cover off everything in between in due course and, for some fics, this Oscar part will hopefully get you guessing, while for others it will constitute a happy ending!

Our Dirty Little Secret (Special Part)

Nine months later…

"I don't know why I agreed to this," you told Cillian while clutching his hand just as the car pulled up in front of the red carpet. This was your first public outing with Cillian since the scandal about your illicit affair had broken just over nine months ago and whilst you had found your way together, society did not exactly approve of your somewhat controversial relationship with the 47-year-old. 

"It'll be fine. You need to trust me," he whispered in your ear confidently, as if it were just another date night for you and not the greatest gathering of Hollywood's glitterati. Deep down, you wanted to believe him but it was obvious to you that he had put on act, just for you, to calm your nerves.  He hated these events just as much as you did and knew how hard it was for you to adapt to this lifestyle with him.

"I should have stayed with Mara, Cillian. I never left her for so long, you know," you then tried to change the topic, talking about the daughter you had brought into this world together just under nine months ago, but Cillian simply chuckled. 

"Mara will be fine with my mum, at the hotel. I promise," Cillian assured you with a loving smile. "Despite, I really need you with me tonight," he paused, gently squeezing your hand. "I couldn't imagine being here without you, Y/N," he then finally told you as one of the red-carpet attendees opened the door for you both. 

"Don't you dare run off on me," you gasped, seeing all those intimidating photographers taking pictures of you both as he helped you out of the car, your white dress grazing the asphalt.

"I would never," he chuckled, playfully winking at you, as you bit back a smile, realizing that you were too easily flustered.

He then took your hand into his firmly, clearly showing the world that you belonged together and not a single soul would change that.

"Cillian, over here!" a reporter yelled out while, another, shorter woman with fiery hair, aggressively jumped in to get a good shot of you both. The molten sea of cameras around you ignited a varied assortment of insecurities you forgot you ever had. Suddenly, you were a ten-year-old girl again, your heart dancing under its master's feet set ablaze by judgement; but Cillian squeezed your hand gently, reminding you that you were a woman now—his woman.

A familiar warmth spread through your chest as his steely blue eyes fixated on yours. A silently brokered promise passed between you two: Survive this together.

The female reporter from earlier pushed her way to the front, locking her beady gaze onto Cillian with a voracious hunger.

"Cillian, how does it feel to be nominated as Best Actor for your performance in Oppenheimer?" she asked while you tried to back off a little, but Cillian would not leave you alone, holding you closer to him, showing the world that you both were together in this.

"It's a true honor to be nominated. I couldn't be more grateful. The cast, the crew, everyone really poured their hearts into the story, and I wouldn't be here without them. It was something unique and powerful," he responded, barely looking at the woman, but at you instead, trying to keep his focus.

"And I see you are being supported by your wonderful, young girlfriend tonight, making this your first public outing together. Is that right?" the reporter asked, curiosity sparking excitement in her voice as she studied you two intently. 

"Well, we do have a young child together, which makes it difficult for us to attend events like this as a couple," Cillian began to say while smiling at you intently. "But, especially tonight, I couldn't ask for more than her presence," he admitted, his voice dripping with sincerity as he gazed at you openly.

The intensity of his gaze made your stomach flutter: It was a look that held secrets, a silent vow. You squeezed his hand tighter now and were unable to keep the smile from growing on your lips.

Cillian then stroked the back of your hand with his thumb, causing you to disconnect from the chaotic dance unfolding before your eyes and connect to the feeling of being near him, a feeling that cantered and calmed you.

"Thank you Cillian, and good luck tonight," the reporter finally offered a soft smile before signalling to her photographer to take some more pictures. 

As you walked down the red carpet, a familiar pop song began to infiltrate your eardrums as you ignored the snippets of questions being hurled at both of you, creating a barrier between your world and theirs. Even with the nest of hundreds of reporters and photographers, the red carpet no longer scared you as it used to, especially when you had Cillian by your side, shielding you from the worst of it all.

Eventually, you both reached your seats, not too far from the front of the stage and Cillian introduced you to some of the actors and actresses he had worked with. You also met some familiar faces, like Emily Blunt and her husband John who both had a calming presence about themselves. 

The tension seemed to melt away as you chatted with them and, for a moment, you managed to forget all the critical eyes resting on you, fading into the background until it was time to be quiet for the opening speech.

As the ceremony commenced, you merely held hands with Cillian, giving his reassurance every time he gave yours. Despite the constant whispers and sly glances coming your way, you tried to embody Cillian's mantra, staying present in this moment and focusing on his unwavering companionship instead of the judgement weighing you down. For hours on end, you managed to simply enjoy the show and, when finally, it was his turn to shine, you clutched his hand even tighter. 

"And the Oscar goes to," the presenter announced, opening the golden envelope while, secretly you had been crossing your fingers for him all week long. "Cillian Murphy!" he then announced, making a-thousand-cameras flash simultaneously as your heart began to race uncontrollably against your ribcage. It was a strange feeling, this overwhelming sense of pride that flooded you, leaving you bruised and raw from the exposure.

Standing up simultaneously with Cillian, a big smile formed on your face as, quickly you caressed his face. "You did it!" you whispered to Cillian, hugging him almost desperately as he embraced you back, tightly. He then kissed the top of your head, taking a moment to soak in the gravity of his achievement as the crowd around cheered and clapped for him.

"Fuck," he gasped, still in shock, before stagehands began urging him to come forward and take his spot to accept the coveted award.

"Go on and give your speech," you chuckled, gently pushing him towards the stage while blinking away the tears threatening to mess up your makeup and, just before he took to the stage, he turned his head quickly to capture your lips for a fleeting second, leaving an imprint of adoration behind.

With shaking hands, he mounted the steps, greeted by rousing applause, and you leaned against the back of your chair, watching his every move as he accepted his award. 

"Fuck," was the first word that escaped his lips, causing the audience to laugh in response and his actor's instinct kicked in as he used his impromptu curse to deliver an exquisite speech that brought a tear to your eye. 

"I am clearly overwhelmed by all this. Thank you. Truly," he spoke, his voice shaky. "I first and foremost want to thank Chris Nolan and Emma Thomas for having faith in me and creating such a masterpiece. To the incredible cast, Robert, Emily, and the rest, thank you for teaching me so much about the craft. I can't believe I get to share a title with such incredible artists," Cillian said before his eyes drifted in your direction, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. "And, of course, I want to thank my beautiful partner Y/N for supporting me through this in those last few months. You have pretty much been a single mother in the midst of award season, and I am so grateful that you are here with me tonight. To you, our daughter Mara and my son Max, I love you beyond words," Cillian said, his voice heavy with emotion, and it was then that your vision blurred with unshed tears.

He then proudly lifted his award into the air before humbly walking back to his seat, stealing a glance at you long enough to let you know exactly what he meant. 

"I am so proud of you," you whispered as he squeezed your hand again while, around you, murmurs originated from fellow celebrities congratulating him on his well-deserved win.

"This means a lot to me Y/N. Thank you for having been my rock those past few months," Cillian whispered back, his gratitude evident in the warmth of his touch. The intensity of his words caused your heart to flutter unexpectedly and, suddenly, everything around you became distant and muted.

Not too keen to attend the after party even following his success, when the show drew to an end, Cillian engaged in the necessary press engagements before suggesting that the two of you slipped away before everyone made their way to Vanity Fair. 

Together, you crept out into the night unnoticed, weaving your way through indulging crowds, gazing at each other, lost in all the nuances of the day that had unfolded—all the stolen glances between you both during the award ceremony, to the brush of his fingertips against your hand while trying to lead you through the venous crowds.

Eventually then, you arrived back at the hotel where Cillian's mother was watching Mara. She was already eagerly waiting your arrival and, as soon as Cillian walked through the door with the golden statute in his hand, his mother embraced him tightly. 

"I am so incredibly proud of you," she beamed while gripping his face, hardly believing her eyes. "Now you've got it all, a beautiful family and the biggest achievement of your career," she remarked, wiping a tear from her eye while looking at you and Mara.

"Thank you mum, and thank you for looking after Mara for us tonight," Cillian expressed graciously, managing a weak smile as he hugged her again.

Mara then squealed with delight, screaming, "Dada!" and you both looked at each other with great surprise.

"Did she just say daddy?" you gasped. You couldn't help but be utterly taken aback, finding yourself at a loss for words as you clutched Mara in your arms and buried your face in the nape of her neck.

It was the first time she had spoken and as you held her tightly, you couldn't help but feel a surge of love that coursed through your veins, rendering you dizzy.

You glanced up at Cillian as he stood there, flabbergasted.

"Dada!" she said again, reaching out for the golden statute jutting out from Cillian's grasp. He chuckled and carefully placed it away before picking Mara up and pressing a kiss to her chubby cheek.

"Hello Babygirl," he said, laughter dancing in his eyes, and the love in that moment was palpable between them, radiating with a warmth that touched your heart. "I missed you," he then said and your eyes welled up a little. It was moments like this that made you rethink the decisions you made several months ago and you knew that it was time for you to make another now. 

"I think maybe it is time for us to move in together now," you proposed to Cillian suddenly, as he looked at you with a gentle smile.

"It seems like two wins for me tonight then," he replied, taking your hand in his as Mara gurgled contentedly between you. He had waited for you to make this call for months now, ever since he first proposed it to you and now it was finally here.

To be continued...

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

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[rubberduckyrye]

You know I've seen quite a few people say they're wanting to make v3 rewrites lately--and as someone who is actively working on one by myself, I feel like I should give some advice. I know I'm nowhere NEAR done with Twins AU, but I've made a ridiculous amount of progress and I think these things have greatly helped me out personally

So here are my tips for making a V3 rewrite and actually making it stick/not to burn out before the first chapter!

This is important. Don't try to please everyone. You will never please everyone. Write this for yourself, and you will find an audience. People can and will hate your fic no matter what you do. Don't try to please them, they are not your target audience-- so Write this story for, first and foremost, yourself. It'll feel so much more rewarding if you do I promise.

V3's main theme is extremely muddied due to how the narrative was and how open ended the game was left, and from my own research, no one can agree on what V3 was trying to say about truth and lies, or Reality and Fiction. If you want to rewrite this story, you're going to need to narrow down what you want your rewrite to say about the themes presented.

PLAN THE EVIDENCE AND MURDERS AS THOROUGHLY AS YOU CAN. I think not knowing what I was going to do for the cases and trials really scared me for the longest time until I essentially sat myself down and fleshed out all of the cases for Twins AU. Make evidence lists, do research on how your murder cases might go, the works. It's a lot of work but I personally followed this post and also made an evidence list to help me out plot out the murders for Twins AU. This is also a great way to flesh out your protagonist as well, since you get to explore their note-taking style and what kind of language they'd use for taking notes and if they have opinions about certain things.

Write a summary of each character in the story. DR games have a big cast and V3 has an even BIGGER cast than usual, so it's good to write down summaries for all of the characters. I also suggest really studying each character too, even if you plan on changing a character to better suit your tastes (or to get rid of offensive material.... looking at you Angie) you still want to keep the core of their character intact for fans of that character.

Speaking of characters, make sure to try and remember to write each one as a human being, even if they aren't human (Kiibo for example). Develop them, give them quirks and flaws, motivations and wants and desires and dreams. Even if you hate a character, doing this much character study will help you keep them in character and keep their motivations reasonable and understandable.

If you don't have a good grasp on a character, study harder. Don't go looking for other people's interpretations or try to be a crowd pleaser. Make your own interpretation, and that interpretation becomes special to your rewrite.

If you plan on changing a character, for the love of GOD do your research first. Don't go accidentally making Angie into a worse racist caricature of Pacific Islanders Please and Thank You. Actually, just do a ton of research in subject you think might be relevant to a character or the plot--like Gonta and how ableism prevails in his story. Like how Shuichi has anxiety up the wazoo and how Maki has learned helplessness. Study and research hard.

Pace yourself--I don't think people realize how GIANT a V3 rewrite project is--remember that this game is extremely long and you cannot write this in a single month. Once all of your planning is done, write a reasonable amount for it each day. For me, I'm able to crank out 2k a day because I type absurdly fast, but most people would probably want to start at maybe 500 words a day.

If you're not having fun, step back. You might be burnt out and need a break, or maybe the scene you're writing is just not working. Take time to assess your own feelings and do what is appropriate to resolve them.

Don't feel too discouraged if you need to rewrite a whole scene--it happens to the best of us and sometimes things are just not working. It's not lost progress to retry--consider the scene you are replacing as a rough draft you need to remake. I've had to erase huge 1k chunks due to this.

Reward yourself for big accomplishments! When I finished the prologue, I threw myself and my editor ( @trans-shuichisaihara ) a pizza party, and I plan on doing something like that again, albeit probably cheaper. Reward yourself for huge milestones! Hell, I owe myself at least one treat for two chapters I've written, but tbh I've been having so much fun just writing that doing so is rewarding within itself. That doesn't mean external factors can't help, so if you finish a chapter and you're proud of it, buy yourself a treat for working so hard!

If you got a friend who likes editing/beta reading, invite them to beta read for you! They can help you find errors and typos that you might've missed. If you plan on editing your fic, I highly recommend reading your writing out loud to help you find weird sentence structures and awkward phrases. This should have the bonus of making it easier for people who use screen readers/just prefer audiobooks to enjoy your fic as well!

EDIT! Here are two more:

It's okay to be scared writing something new! Getting out of your comfort zone is going to happen with a giant story like this, and maybe you're going to flop at the best parts. That's perfectly fine!!! You can always edit it later--or even just call it "good enough" and move on! This is fanfic for fun, not a professional project you're making money off of. It's okay if things are less than ideal and incredible imperfect. An imperfect story is at least written. That's better than not writing it at all.

For the love of everything that is holy, remember that the characters should be people--and remember that their talents do not make up their entire personality. Their talents should not solely dictate what they wear, how they act, or the worst offender in this fandom--how their executions go. When writing a character Execution, think instead of what would be the worst way for that character to die--that is to say, what would bring them the most despair upon their death. DR1 and DRV3's executions all play with the despair of the blackened in each execution (with DR2 being noted to heavily miss the mark and to be the set of executions that are the most disappointing to Kodaka, from what I've been told.) So if you're stuck on writing a new Execution, try to think about what each execution from DR1 and DRV3 does to play with the despair of the blackened. What about their executions are giving them despair in their final moments? Do they at all relate to their talents, or are they completely separate from their talent? Study them, and you'll be able to use that information to write your own unique executions that are miles better than most of the fan made executions out there.

And I think that's my advice for now! Happy writing, everyone!

[yoru-exe]

『 SUZURI SHUHEI 』

for some reason, he kept adding extra to your portion. while you appreciated it, you're worried it'll get him into trouble. but that's the least of his concern.

a/n: is it a surprised if i say i ADORE suzuri? not really. he's a cutie patootie 𖹭

"suzuri". he paused his stepped to the kitchen and looked at his caller. he met your eyes, but the smile that he loves so much wasn't there. instead you're frowning, at him, and he didn't like that. he came to kneel next to where you're sitted at your table, a tips he learned from nakamura when approaching girls to comfort them, "what's the matter?".

you recalled shizuka's comment on your food when you ate together here last month.

"don't your portion seem bigger than mine? lucky!".

back then, you didn't specifically order for an extra portion, so maybe she was right — maybe you're lucky. but then it happened again, and again, and again. now you're worried that suzuri might have used the ingredients in the kitchen just for you. that can't be good. what if his boss found out and he's fired?

so you confronted him with your concern. the whole time, he had his undivided attention on you. when you're done, he nodded in acknowledgement, but instead of worrying, he reassured you that it's not going to be a problem, "those are a portion from my meal, so you don't have to worry about it. i didn't steal any ingredients from the kitchen for my own use".

he watched you paled, not realising that he'd presented you with a bigger problem. "you can't do that! you need to eat well and enough to keep up with your tasks!". taken aback, you suddenly realised that you've been too forward and apologised. suzuri responded with a shake of his head, not bothered by it.

"i'm sorry myself. i didn't mean to upset you", he said quietly, now looking at the ground, feeling somewhat shameful about it.

at that moment, shizuka's voice echoed once again in your memory, another bit of her after commenting on the extra portion.

"maybe he likes you".

with shaky hands, you cupped his face to look up at you. from his point of view, your face was slightly red. he didn't know you could look prettier than you already are.

"w-what if next time you take me out for a meal? that way you can still eat up your portion, and i eat mine, as much as you'd like for me to eat! then.. we can hang out! w-we can play a game or two if you'd like that".

suzuri, as it turned out, had forgotten how to function due to your sudden invitation for a date, something he had been planning to do when he's ready, emotionally and financially. you had to call him out to made sure he's still with you.

"i don't think i'll be able to do that anytime soon. there's still too many things need to be done-".

"i'll wait for you! as long as it takes, i'll wait for you".

that moment, suzuri felt that he'd been blessed once again. it's a miracle for someone like him to be able to be close with you. how could he possibly repay your kindness? will loving you with all his heart be enough? he didn't know.

alas, he took your palms in his and squeezed them gently, holding them like the treasure you are, "thank you".

[auras-moonstone]

Can you write one about Jack or Ethan where it’s based on the song speak now by Taylor swift where the reader is gonna get married but then something dramatic happens or something like that 😭

speak now — ethan landry

word count: 2,057

pairing: slytherin!ethan landry x slytherin!fem!reader

summary: y/n is forced to marry another man, but ethan was around when the preacher said "speak now."

author’s note: was it necessary for this to be a harry potter au? nope. but arranged marriages are common in the wizarding world so i said why not 🤷🏼‍♀️

Y/N Y/L/N CAME FROM A PRESTIGIOUS FAMILY OF PURE-BLOOD WIZARDS. And like most pure bloods, her family shared traditional and archaic ideas that pushed her down the rabbit hole she was now trapped in.

It had been the cruelest of summers. She had found out that she was getting married to one of the most disgusting boys she had ever met. Enzo was a Slytherin, just like her, and was constantly strutting around the castle, with his chin held high like he was better than everyone, and constantly bullying those who weren't pure bloods—Ethan Landry being his constant punch ball. Hence why Y/N hated Enzo so much.

Ethan was Y/N's best friend. He was also a Slytherin, but unlike most of the students in there, he was a muggleborn. Their connection had been instant, and Y/N had surprised Ethan with her open mind and kind heart despite her backgrounds. She was his only friend, due to the rest of the house looking at him as if he were dust under their shoes, but he didn't care—Y/N was all he needed. He had become so accustomed to being by her side that on summers he felt empty, and spent all those months counting the days until they were back at Hogwarts.

When he found her on an empty wagon, his smile couldn't have been wider. Y/N's mood lifted up a bit, but her smile wasn't as lively as usual. Ethan noticed she was paler, she had dark bags under her eyes and her gaze had flickers of sadness.

"Hey... what's wrong, love?" Ethan wrapped her in his arms.

"I missed you, E. This summer has been hell, and it's only going to get worse." Y/N said, trying to hold back the tears, but her voice gave her away.

"What happened?" he asked worried.

"I'm getting married. My dad arranged it. I'm going to be Enzo's wife in a month."

Ethan's world stopped. His body grew still, his surroundings froze and his joy turned into ashes. The idea of her with another boy made him want to throw up, but the thought of her being forced to marry someone she didn't want? It made him furious, made him want to scream and avakedavra everyone but her.

"What happens if you say no?" Ethan managed to ask.

"They will disown me, probably kick me out of the house"

"That is not so bad, isn't it? I mean, it is bad, but worse than being married to that pig?"

"Eth... I have no one else, nowhere to go. And yeah, marry Enzo is not ideal but that doesn't mean I have to... do romantic stuff, right? I won't kiss him, or even share a room with him." she said hopeful.

"For now, Y/N/N. Now it's only marriage, but soon it'll be about expanding the bloodline, you know that."

"Yes, I know." and that's the moment she started to sob. "I have no choice, Eth."

"Live with me." he blurted, making her look at him in shock. "I'll talk to my dad. We are three siblings, but we can share a bed, or I'll take the couch and you can sleep on my bed. We'll see, but please Y/N you can't marry him."

"Eth, that's so nice but I can't accept that offer. I'll be completely cut off, so I won't be able to pay for the food or the rent, or the stuff for school. And I sure as hell won't let your dad pay for me, even if he says yes."

"But-"

Y/N cut him off "That is my final word, Eth. Please, I don't want to keep talking about it. I just want to be with you and forget about everything else. Tell me about your summer."

"It was okay. I missed you like crazy, though. I kept expecting to hear your voice and your contagious laugh" he said. Their eyes met, and the room got thick with tension. There was a big elephant in the room, and he was determined to address it. "Been thinking all summer about what happened at King's Cross at the end of the year."

"I shouldn't have done that." Y/N shook her head.

"You regret it?" his voice came out in a whisper because the words she said had cut him deep.

"I didn't, until my father told me he basically sold me to Enzo." she said. "That kiss was all I ever wanted. You are everything I ever wanted, and for a few days, I thought I could have. Now, you're everything I ever wanted but can't have."

"Says who?"

"Um, my father? Enzo? Enzo's family?"

"Who gives a fuck about them?" he said bluntly. Before she could open her mouth, he continued. "Do you want to be with me?"

"Ethan of course I want to be with you, but-"

"Then be my girlfriend, I want to be with you, too." he grabbed her hands.

"I can't be your girlfriend only for a month, Ethan. That's not fair to you."

"Who says it should only be for a month?"

"You're not making sense right now. I'm getting married."

"Yeah, and I'll still be your boyfriend. No one has to know what we do."

"That's bloody crazy, Landry. What happens when I have to... get pregnant, form a family." God, the thought disgusted her but it was the truth. That was women's purpose in the pure blood community—to marry and have children.

Ethan's jaw clenched. "Don't say that."

"You said it yourself minutes ago. No matter how much we hate it, it's the truth. That is my future."

"Then let's be together until the day of the wedding" he said defeated. The word ‘wedding’ made his stomach turn. "I don't want to be left wondering what we could've been together. Let's enjoy the time we have, let yourself enjoy the freedom you have left."

Ethan was right. She was not going to let those devils ruin the last few days of happiness she had left. She could see the end even as it began. But he was standing there, so tall and handsome as hell, and he made her so happy that she couldn't refuse. "Okay."

"Yeah?" he said surprised.

Y/N smiled and nodded. "Yes. Let's do it. I want to be with you."

"Can I kiss you now? I've been waiting the whole summer."

"God, yes."

The couple exited the train with swollen lips, messy hair, wrinkled clothes and sparks flying around them.

THIRTY DAYS LATER, IT WAS TIME TO CAGE THOSE SPARKS AND LOCK THEM FOREVER. Both teenagers spent their last night tangled up together, with Ethan's hands in her hair and clothes on the floor of the room of requirements.

The memory of Ethan sleeping so peacefully on her shoulder was a memory that would follow Y/N around forever. It was going to haunt her and break her heart every single time because she would never get to see it again. He wasn't the one he was going to wake up next to, and the realization took her down. Once she was out of that door, her life of eternal sadness would begin.

"Good morning, love." his familiar voice whispered on her ear.

"Hi, handsome." she smiled sadly. "How is it that you look this gorgeous even first thing in the morning?"

"I don't know, I should ask you that." he kissed her collarbone.

They spent a few minutes in silence, holding each other. But Y/N knew it was time to go. In a few hours, she would have the weight of a ring on her finger. "Eth..."

"Just a few more seconds, please." his voice was thin, and his eyes were shut trying not to let the tears fall.

"I don't know if this is going to make things worse, but I need you to know. Eth, you are the love of my life."

"You are the love of my life, too. Knew it since the first time we met, when you jinxed that asshole who called me a mudblood."

"I'm the knight in shinning armour to your damsel in distress" Y/N joked.

"I love you" Ethan said grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles, never taking his eyes off hers.

"I love you, too." but I have to go, were the words that she didn't say but floated in the air. Ethan nodded, and she got up put her clothes on and dragged her feet towards the door, her steps as heavy as the pain in her heart. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and left, leaving her happiness behind.

ETHAN'S INVITATION HAD BEEN WITHDRAWN BY THE LOVELY BROOM-TO-BE. Yet, he was not going to let Y/N feel alone in that awful day, so he sneaked inside the church and hid in the curtains. He had a good view of the whole scene—the guests, Enzo’s snotty little family, who had chosen an awful pastel theme, Enzo standing straight in his light grey suit and the preacher behind him.

Then an organ started to play a song that sounded like a death march. Seconds later, the wide tall wooden doors opened and Y/N entered in her flowy lilac dress. Scanning the room, her eyes caught sight of Ethan and after the shock disappeared, she had to bit back a smile. She knew this was hard for him too, so the fact that he still went to support her made her love him even more.

His eyes followed her figure until she stopped in front of Enzo. On the outside, they looked great. Her dress had little grey details that matched his suit and they both were extremely good-looking. But it didn't matter how handsome Enzo was, Ethan knew Y/N wished the one standing beside her at the altar was him.

Once the attention of the people was at the front of the room, Ethan sat on the last row alone. His focus was on the beautiful bride, who was trying to mask her sadness with a fake and tense smile. He frowned in discontent. He couldn't let her become her signature, he couldn't let her live an unhappy life.

And then, he heard the preacher say, "Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

The complete silence that embraced the room after those words was interrupted by the screeching sound of the wooden bench. It wasn't until he felt eyes on him that Ethan realized he had stood up, and then his senses came back at once. His hands were shaky and sweaty, his mouth was completely dry and his breath got caught in his throat. He could feel the horrified looks of everyone in the room, but he was only looking at her.

"I don't know what I'm doing, to be completely honest. I never thought I would ever barge in on a white veil occasion, but I can't let you do it, Y/N/N. You shouldn't be marrying the wrong boy. Please, don't say yes."

Enzo was practically killing him with his eyes, and if there weren't so many people around, he may have thrown the killing curse at him. But right now, Ethan would take every curse and jinx if it meant Y/N's life wouldn't become a hellhole.

"Ethan..." it was the only thing that came out of her mouth. Her head was spinning like a tornado.

"No, you need to hear me out" he begged. "It's going to be difficult, but we're going to get through it together. You are the love of my life, and I'm yours. Please don't marry him. Let's ran away now. I love you"

"Y/N stop this nonsense. Someone guide the mudblood out."

Before Y/N knew it, her clenched fist impacted with Enzo’s face and gasps echoed in the room. "Don't you ever insult my boyfriend again. Don't test me, Enzo. I know more dark curses than you could ever imagine, and I'd love to try them on you."

She took her heels off and ran down the aisle and into Ethan's arms. "Holy shit, that was so hot. I love you." he yelled as they sprinted out of the church hand in hand.

Y/N laughed. She felt happy, free and completely fearless. "I love you too. I'm so glad you were around when they said speak now."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for outing my sisters (SECOND) pregnancy and causing drama

I (20f) am aware that accidents happen, but she doesn't even know the man to her (22f) first (thusly no child support is involved in this equation). Discovery of this information is due to me being the one that does the bathroom trash. It was... not well hidden, to say the least.

Pure flavor and context, our relationship would be less rocky if she had any sense of responsibility at all. From 15 onwards constantly out of money yet up the ass of every hangout/party in town, constantly trying to make it anyone else's job to keep her entertained. Has very much dropped out of college for #1.

But, actual event wise... I get to the trash can, and I'm thinking... oh god, not again. And so soon? Because baby #1 is about 10 months (male if it matters) at sending. Mom has already bent over backwards to handle this without destroying *my* attempts at college, and there's not a doubt in my mind my sister would have gladly gone "Surprise! Not my problem now🎊! " if I'd given her the space to do so.

Phrasing it like that feels mean, but it's been 98% mom doing it all. Diapers, feedings, you name it. If it's not cute enough for social media my sister has not put her hands on it. In my moms fantasy world this was to give my sister the chance to go back to the local college.

Now at first I didn't actually plan to say much of anything. It just... seemed risky in a way I didn't want the backlash for. But a friend of mine and her girlfriend were moving, and their planned roommate bailed, and I do very much have a job an can pay rent. The nitty gritty is way more complicated than that but I'm trying to not bog this down.

I waffle for a couple of days as I process the whole thing but I commit to thinking later and acting now about moving and by what's month 1.75 I'm planning what posters of mine to take/leave. There's been a second confirming test popping up in the trash.

I have to tell my mom, finally, that in three weeks to a month I'm gone. Slightly unsurprisingly, I get asked "Well, why? Why now?"

I did kind of think through it in advance, but honestly every other small reason just... left me? I choked HARD and y'all know the blank "ohshit" moment where you've got Nothing.

It was a messy conversation and I'm skipping a lot, but thankfully dad and sis were out to not hear it. She didn't fully believe me until I walked out the door to the new appartment, and it didn't end there technically, but I just sorta grey rocked it with the sole give that I think mom is going to collapse over this because she's not twenty some anymore chasing *us*, and I think mom wasn't processing it either until I was out the door.

Final stage, I've packed and am seconds from leaving. Mom asks one final question of "What exactly would you suggest here, if it's real, then" in that tone where it's not about getting real answers, it's about shaming me. She is scathingly told to make my sister homeless about it if she doesn't abort, so that it'll maybe motivate her to at least get child support if not put a stop to the slope of shitting them out like litters.

Roommates are fine thus far, but I'm introverted and don't really leave my room unless I need something so the space for conflicts are minimal. So I'm a week into the new apartment (thusly she's 3 to 3.25 months pregnant) when I get a heated, ranting phone call. I sure hope you can figure out who's calling that's *mad*.

First of all apparently I'm a cunt for taking the joy of announcement away from my, as she tried and got "We know." Because that is so fucking important for a college drop out on kid #2 to have, apparently.

More interestingly I'm apparently a double cunt because mom had been toying with asking me for rent, as my sister doesn't work either and babies are expensive. This was not aired to me by mom herself, but even if I hadn't asked her myself afterwards I wouldn't have doubted that part.

And I'm apparently a mega triple cunt, because (as I turned around to interrogate mom about because. What?) mom had a crystalizing moment where it did very much click to her that my sister had no intentions of stepping up in anyway shape or form. Why she's jumped straight to "you abort or gtfo" like I suggested to be an asshole didn't get cleared up to me beyond "No, no. You're right. Responsibility must be taken."

A different friend has asked where the fucks my dad in this; spinless with no opinion because if he dares to dissent he'll implode. Moving on.

I think that while I might have jumped sharks everyone else is now on a plane of drama that I don't need to follow, and should in fact be kept the fuck out of. I also think I've also hit an anger stage of this whole situation so trust in my own narrative should be cautious.

I'm gonna, like, pause the emotional train here? And mention that I'm not asking about moving out. I'll be guilty about moving out specifically when my sister sucks my dick for forgiveness (note my 20f label). But this has dropped an emotional bomb in the family and my friend groups interconnected enough that they'd've heard about it even if I said nothing, and this is now hotly debated (and most of my friends are on mute on my phone lol), and by now it's no secret the ''make her homeless'' idea first came out of MY mouth, no matter how mortifying it is that it was taken seriously on impulse arguing about it is about seven steps behind where the debate needs to be.

Again, I'm at the point of anger feeling good. She gets irresponsibly knocked up once already, drops out of college and refuses to get a job, and then runs off and does it again after dumping all real work onto other people. I think she's lost the right to have happy fun time pregnancy, and I'm here to get a (late) opinion from people decidedly more objective than anyone I can speak to rn. It's not like the pregnancy won't be here in the time this takes to move through queue.

What are these acronyms?

[rottmntsimp]

Hey! Love your writing! if reqs are open, would you be willing to write rottmnt Casey Jr x reader? Maybe something fully and/or cozy, like them having a lazy night or doing some housework or something? There’s such a drought of CJ content :c

Leisurely Love [Domestic Headcanons]

Pairing[s]: Casey Junior x Reader A/N: Finally posting after months of writer's block!! 💪 Anyway, sorry the order's a bit scattered 😅

Casey Junior

💖 - GAH I LOVE DOMESTIC HEADCANONS OK

💖 - Starting off with the kitchen <33

💖 - I've said this before in one of my earlier headcanons, but CJ does not understand the concept of good food. To him edible = food, regardless of taste or texture. "What do you mean it's burnt? It's still food!"

💖 - If you like cooking, you're in luck! He'll gladly be your personal taste tester!!

💖 - And with enough effort, care and love, my boy will be cooking you a small meal in no time!!

💖 - He definitely has a habit of hoarding things he likes

💖 - Back in the apocalypse, keeping things was a risk on its own, especially when you never know when you're gonna have to move.

💖 - But now that he's safe, my boy will keep anything and everything. You guys will probably have a drawer or two dedicated to things that remind of him of his family from back in the apocalypse, you, or just something really pretty :]

💖 - Baby boy loves gardening! Or at least getting to watch the plants grow :]

💖 - He doesn't exactly trust himself to care for them, seeing as the last few he tried to keep withered within a week.

💖 - But if you're into gardening or keep a pet plant, he'll gladly let you keep some around the house!! Hell, he might even help with planting some outside if you really wanted.

💖 - Animals, oh boy...

💖 - Personally, if not for the apocalypse, I feel like CJ would've LOVED dogs-

💖 - But due to his experience with the Kraang, some of them shaped like animals...best to say it'll take some time for him to warm up to them.

💖 - My boy has warm hands. How do I know? I just do.

💖 - If you have cold hands, believe me when I say he is never letting go.

💖 - He's not much of a cuddler, or so he claims. There's an underlying fear in his head that he might accidentally kick you or push you away in his sleep, so he chooses to instead just fall asleep facing you. It comforts him to wake up to the sight of you, messy or not.

💖 - Daily reminders that his life is not constantly at stake? Yes please.

💖 - Favorite place to kiss you? Your forehead <3 [We love a gentleman 😌]

💖 - If you're terrified of bugs, fear not!

💖 - Casey will kill them in the blink of an eye, maybe even pick them up and leave them outside if you ask.

💖 - When it comes to cleaning, he doesn't like to throw things out, as I said earlier.

💖 - He's the kind of guy to organize the mess instead of actually cleaning up. "Messy? But I know where everything is!"

💖 - When he discovers music, it's like his eyes had just opened for the first time. Help him go through this journey please.

💖 - Introduce him to your favorite artists, help him find his type.

💖 - Eventually, this will become "your" thing.

💖 - He will run over to you, excitedly rambling on about this new song he'd just listened to, before making you listen to it too, saying how "-you've got to listen to this!"

💖 - Lazy days consist of introducing him to modern culture!!

💖 - I'm talking memes, shows, films, games, everything- Hell, consider it a sleepover at this point, because my boy is willing to give anything a try. Show him the wonders of the modern world ♥

💖 - Now if we're talking about the FAR future? I'm sorry, but he does NOT want kids, adopted or not.

💖 - He saw how much of a handful they could be back in the resistance, and he'd be dead by the time he admitted wanting that.

💖 - If it's any consolation, he might become more open to the whole pet situation.

💖 - Regardless, indulge in the poor boy's hobbies and interests please. Give him some love and you're bound to get some back <3

💖 - Anyway, 11/10 roomie/partner ♥♥

Taglist: @lemme-be-cringe-damnit@sleepytime-fics@ray-of-midnight-storm@hamthepan@charismakat@flapajacker

[anarchotahdigism]

This H5N1 situation in the US is starting to concern me. H5N1 has been found active and infectious in raw milk & a study of dairy farms showed that half of a colony of cats which consumed infected raw milk died. https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/30/7/24-0508_article It's showing up in Texas wastewater which could be from infected individuals, the dumping of contaminated milk, or both. It's not clear yet & dairy farms are blocking CDC access to test animals and workers. Workers anecdotally have been getting sick but because they're agricultural workers and likely largely undocumented, they have little legal recourse, no real work protections, and so it's not known if they are indeed officially sick from working with infected animals or if it's spread via human to human contact. H5N1 has a mortality rate of at least 50% in a healthy, immunocompetent population. COVID makes you immunocompromised for at least a year with the first infection. 2-3 infections render you permanently immunocompromised. The CDC is claiming that H5N1 mortality rate is 25% leaving them free to say that it's not as dangerous as people think (it's moreso) and that if (when) it becomes clearly deadly, it's only killing off the "vulnerable". That means you, if you've had COVID recently or multiple times. Whether this explodes into a fullblown pandemic or is beaten back in time is up in the air, as is COVID, incidentally. Y'all should never have stopped masking and if you did, you need to resume masking in public. It's a matter of life and death for yourself and for others around you. It's a matter of principle & it's a commitment to radical resistance to fascism. Masking is our first and best defense against airborne pathogens. COVID and H5N1 are both killed by cooking foods well, making pasteurization and proper food handling even more important, but freezing seems to preserve H5N1. H5N1 is potentially infectious for days as a fomite, depending on environment and surface it's on. UV takes about an hour to kill it, which is too slow for UVC installations (from what I understand). There are vaccines in development and the CDC has ordered 20 million doses of H5N1 vaccine but it will take months for them to be produced and it will take longer to produce enough doses for the entire population. Because so many people are now immunocompromised and do not know it & doctors don't bother to look for it, I have no idea just how effective vaccines would be, but it'll be vital for everyone able to get them and, most important, to keep masking. Had we actually rioted for COVID mitigations to continue-- instead of embracing eugenics wholesale as a society--for Biden to make good on his promises to support victims of COVID and to end the pandemic with meaningful measures, including HVAC upgrades to all inhabited & public buildings and spaces, we would be at substantially less risk now. Instead we have thousands dying every week of COVID in the US because the rich demanded it and I cannot begin to imagine how huge that number would become if H5N1 did become an epidemic. We also have politicians outright banning masks at protests, in businesses, and possibly wholesale public bans of masks. That has only become possible due to widespread acquiescence to fascism and the abandonment to isolation and death of the working poor and disabled. COVID was the "easy" mode to prepare for the pandemicene caused by the climate collapsing due to ecocidal capitalism.

[backgroundnoisewithaview]

Unable to afford his apartment due to new insurance issues, Will finally gives into Connor's offer of living with him.

What started off as awkward, where will couldn't get out of feeling like a guest in someone else's home, and aware of everything around him was probably a months wage per item, it soon turned quietly domestic after a loooong shift at the hospital.

Connor: I don't even care about food, I want a shower and bed.

Will: I already showered at the hospital... I'll order in pizza?

Connor: Sure. Save me a slice.

Will: Yeah, course.

Will orders an extra large meat feast pizza, which comes with a free small garlic bread, whilst they're still on their way home. It arrives not soon after they do when Connor is in the shower.

Will takes a few slices for himself and leaves the rest in the box, and covers it up. He does like garlic bread but he's not in the mood for it, keeps it boxed up and figures whatever Connor leaves, it'll be good for leftovers the next day anyway.

Connor comes out of the shower freshly washed, in soft navy blue tartan pyjama bottoms and matching plain navy t-shirt. He sees the pizza, garlic bread and empty plate waiting for him next to it and his whole body realises it's been hours since he last ate. He takes a few slices of the pizza and a slice of the garlic bread.

Connor: Thanks for this man, I'll owe you.

Connor says it to the direction of the couch, where Will is slumped sideways against the arm of the couch watching TV.

He takes a bite and is glad Will took the initiative to order food, glad he's there at all.... and then realises he got no reply. Connor looks over properly, and, worried, slowly walks around towards the couch. Pizza on plate in hand.

Wills plate, empty save for some remnants of crust, sit on the coffee table. The man in question has his eyes closed, head resting on his hand but tilted upwards just a bit and softly snoring.

Connor would never say this out loud, but the sight is.... Sweet. If you can call a 6 foot, fully grown man sweet. Just for sleeping.

He nudges him with his free hand, thinking that they're not 20 anymore, Will will regret sleeping on the couch like this in the morning if he leaves him.

Will slowly opens his eyes and makes a questioning noise that comes off kind of whiny.

"You'd be better of sleeping in your bed, Will, trust me."

"Blow the bed, I'm sleeping here" Will mumbles in reply, and closes his eyes again.

Connor breathes in, and slowly blows it out with puffed cheeks. He puts his own plate down and makes a decision. "alright, man, but let's at least get you more comfortable".

With the expertise of a doctor that has had to move many an unwilling patient, he manovres Will into a lying down position, automatically on his side and then looks around for something to put over him.

Of course he doesn't have a throw on the back of the couch, he's a busy cardiothorassic surgeon with more money than style, and has been living in a click and collect bachelor pad for the past 10 years of his life.

His only option is to get something from Will's room. He leaves his plate of pizza in the company of a totally not sweet sleeping Will Halstead, trusting the man not to be a sleep eater, and returns quickly with the fleece liner for a sleeping bag that he couldn't find. It would do. He opens it up wide and lays it over the sleeping man, and then because he is a damn good friend, tucks it around his shoulders and behind his feet.

He looks down at a job well done, absolutely does not think about kissing the top of his friends head, picks up the plate of now cool pizza, and goes back to the kitchen.

The sleeping man sleeps on, and Connor takes a few extra minutes to put the leftovers in the fridge, minus an extra slice of pizza he took for himself. He writes on a note on the magnetic pad on the fridge "Pizza and Garlic Bread in fridge. Whatevers left is yours. Thanks man. C"

And then he takes his plate and a glass of water into his bedroom.

-

When Will first wakes up the next morning, he is surprised to find he is vertically on the couch and has acquired his fleece liner from the sleeping bag he lost in the move to Connor's condo. He's never been a sleep walker so his only conclusion is Connor got it for him.

He vaguely recalls mumbling something to Connor but the conversation they had is lost to the sensation of a dream you can't quite remember.

He has about 20 minutes before his alarm will go off for work, if his phone is still working and didn't die overnight through lack of charge. He turns to lie on his back, pulls the fleece higher and closes his eyes to doze the time away.

[wjhik]

Like Before (Jude Bellingham) *Smut*

A/N: first smut

Y/N's POV:

I have some mixed emotions about tonight. Jude is taking me out for the first time since the birth of our baby, or I'm letting Jude take me out for the first time since I've given birth should I say. It's been 2 months since I've given birth to our beautiful baby boy. Jude has been trying to convince me to go out for the past two weeks. Postpartum depression has hit me like a truck. He's planned a fun night of clubbing and dancing and getting wasted with our friends. I haven't seen them since I gave birth. He's made me pump enough milk to feed the baby for the next two days, so I'm able to drink, even though I don't really want to. (anti fetal alcohol syndrome in tis house)

"Jude, do I really have to come? You go ahead. I'll stay home with the baby." I tell him, walking fresh out of the shower. "Jobe and mum are already on the way to watch him. Jobe told me he gave up a 'hot date' to watch the baby tonight. He would kill me if I canceled. Love, it'll be okay. You need to get out of the house." He tells me, looking up from his phone. He looks so good right now. His back is propped up on the headboard with his legs stretched out, crossed over each other. He finished his shower a little while before mine. He's only wearing his boxers and I can't help but look down. "Eyes are up here, love." He says, smirking at me. "Sorry." I say, embarrassed. I turn away from him, shielding my eyes. "Baby." He extends the end of his words. He gets up and puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me around. "You've seen everything." He says, bending his knees to get to eye level with me. My hormones have been all over the place, but I brush him off and start getting ready. Jude leaves the room to occupy the baby.

I sit down at my vanity and start getting ready. I start with my skincare. First, I apply my serums, moisturizer, then primer. I then put my foundation and blend it out. I put on some concealer to cover up my very sleep deprived eyes. I contour my face. My favorite part, blush. I apply a liquid blush to the high points of my cheeks. Now for powder. I use a translucent powder underneath my eyes and carve out my contour. Then I apply powder contour and powder blush, tracing over the places I put the liquid version of the product. I let it sit for a little, then I spray setting spray. I go in with my very sparkly highlighter. Now I do my eyes. I put on my mascara and falsies. I do a dark black smokey liner. That's what made me feel the sexiest before. Now I do my lips. I line them with a dark crimson liner, and then top it off with red lipstick. I look in the mirror and sadden. I used to feel like the prettiest girl in the world when I did this, now I feel more than horrid.

I decide to leave my hair natural, mainly because I don't think I physically have the energy to do my hair after doing my makeup for an hour and a half. I simply put my products in it and diffuse it, which in itself is a task, due to its length. I put on all of my jewelry and one of Jude's t-shirts. I know his mum and brother are coming home, so I choose one that's long enough to be decent. I hear the doorbell ring.

I walk outside to meet my mother and brother-in-law. I see Jude hugging them at the door and welcoming them in. "Hello, love!!" Denise says, excitedly. It's been a while since I've seen her. She knows what I was going through, so when she found out I was going out with Jude, she was thrilled. I pull her into a hug. I then move to hug Jobe. We make some small talk before I start running them through how to take care of the baby. I trust them, but I can't help but worry. I show Jobe and Denise where we keep everything, where the milk is, how to work our unnecessarily complicated changing table. As Jobe and Denise were talking and I was listening to their conversation, Jude whispers in my ear, "Why aren't you wearing that dress I got you?" He bought me a beautiful, long, black ysl dress. It has a square neckline and long sleeves. It hugs my figure, which is what I'm scared of. The last time I was seen in something like that was before my pregnancy. I worked hard  for the body I had back then, and I let it go. I deserve to let it go. I did have a baby, but the media has no mercy. "It's a bit much for your family, no?" I tell him. It's quite conservative, but it was the first excuse that came to mind. Jude made it a point to not take me too far out of my comfort zone. "You lot should get going." Jobe points out.

I go into my bedroom and change my dress and shoes. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My belly is sticking out. I'm trying to remind myself that this is normal. I brought life into this world. This is a sign of my baby boy. It's hard to keep yourself confident when all you are is 'Jude Bellingham's Fat Pregnant Wife', according to headlines. "Hey, mama." Jude wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck. "You look so beautiful." He rubs his hands over my belly. He knows what I'm thinking about without saying it. I interrupt his sweet nothing in my ears and say, "Are you sure we have to go out tonight?" Jude simply grabs my arms and pulls me out of the room. He picks up my phone and purse on the way out. He pushes me out the door. As he's pushing me through the house I hear a series of praises coming from his mum. These two know how to make a girl feel good.

We finally get to the club. Jude ushers me through the dance floor, up to the vip section, where our friends were. We greet them and I sit down with my girls. "So, how are you and Jude?" "I'm sure your sex is amazing. It's been so long for you two." "I'm sure hes been giving it to you good lately." These girls have been drinking. It's hard being the first to have kids in your friend group. "We haven't had sex yet." I tell them. "What?!" "Why?!" They ask me. "How can you have sex with a guy you feel like you don't deserve? I've put on so much weight since getting pregnant, and he's only gotten fitter." I confess to them. "Babes, are you joking?! If anything, you've only gotten sexier. You had his baby!!" One of them says. "Jude hasn't been able to keep his hands off you since you got pregnant. He's so in love with you. Everything your body has been through is because of him and his child. Do you know how sexy that is?" Another one chimes in. "By the way, you look incredible tonight. And if anything, Jude doesn't deserve YOU." Someone says. I can't help but hide my face in my arms and turn red. I don't deserve these girls. I just pull them all in a bear hug.

"Here ya go, love." Jude places a margarita on the table in front of me. "What's this?" I ask him, looking up. "A drink." He smiles at me and walks away, avoiding me denying it. I can't help but drink. Anyone from our group who sees me with an empty drink, will automatically refill it for me. What is happening?

I'm now very drunk. Jude is barely tipsy. "Dance with me?" Jude asks me. He sticks his hand out for me to take. I take his hand, too drunk to be conscious about how I'll look. Him and I are sensually dancing to the music. He's dancing up behind me with his hands on my waist. My hips are swaying to the beat. I slowly start grinding against him. Jude starts kissing my neck. I can feel the existing heat between my legs get even hotter. I turn around to face Jude. He kisses me. At first, it's a simple drunk, sloppy kiss, but it gradually develops into a sexy makeup session in the middle of a nightclub. "Remember when we used to do this every weekend?" I say between kisses, slurring my very intoxicated words. Jude simply moans into my mouth and continues kissing me. "Let's go home, love." Jude has booked a hotel for us to stay in tonight. He wants me to truly enjoy myself. He grabs my hand and drags me into his very fancy car.

(Smut)

Jude pushes me into our hotel room and pins me against the door. He's kissing me as he slots his knee in between my legs. I'm slowly grinding on him, trying to relive myself. He puts his hands on my ass, and slowly grabs it. He bends his knees and picks me up. He's walking me to our bedroom. "You're so beautiful." He says as he lays me down on the bed. "I love you." I say as he towers over me. He takes off his dress shirt and continues kissing me. His kisses have slowed down. He knows it's been a while. His fingers ghost over the side of my dress, where the zipper is. "Take it off." I say to him. He unzips my dress and slips it off. He looks down at my body. I'm wearing some black lingerie.

"Fuck, you're perfect." He says, kissing me. He's kissing down my body. He kisses the top of my breasts. His hands reach behind me and I arch my back up, allowing him to unclasp my bra. He takes it off my body and lightly sucks on my nipples. "Hey, that's for Y/S/N" I say to him, reminding him how drunk I am. He giggles at my state. "Fuck, Jude." I moan. My breasts are so sensitive. He moves down from my breast to my stomach. He leaves hickeys on me. He's obsessed with 'marking' me.

He moves down from my stomach to my sweet spot. Jude is kneeling over me. He's working his way up my leg, towards it. I see him getting hard. I gasp, and my body tenses, then relaxes, my head resting back on the pillow. "Oh, yes... just like that, Jude." I moan, pushing up against Jude. "I'm going to cum," I cry. "Go on then, baby. Cum on my tongue." He encourages me. He sticks 2 fingers inside me, and pushes them in and out of me. "Oh, fuck. Baby, I'm cumming." I say. Ecstasy washes over me and I buck up into Jude face. "Well, fuck." Jude says, giggling. "Oh, my god." I say, my chest heaving. Him and I are slowly giggling away. He comes up to my face and kisses me passionately.

"I don't know how much longer I can wait, baby. I want to feel you inside me." His face is a few inches away from mine, and staring deeply into my eyes. "Good, baby, I want that too." He says. He lowers his head, and kisses my lips. I wrap my arms around Jude's neck, pressing my body against his. I moan into his mouth. I feel myself pulsing. Jude shifts, getting into a better position over me.

"Please, baby. Please, fuck me. I need you so bad." I plead with him. He takes off the remaining of his clothes. His hard dick springs out of his boxers. I forgot how big he is. I am so terrified. How in fucks name did I take all of him? He's about to stick it in when I stop him. "Wait. Wait. Please go slow." I tell him, putting my hands on his lower stomach. "I'll be gentle, baby." He says as he slowly stretches me out. "Oh my fucking god..." I say, throwing my head back in the pillow. He leans down and kisses me as he pushes in deeper. He very slowly moves deeper and deeper. "Fuck. I forgot how tight you were." Jude says in a groan as he pushes all the way inside me. "Fuckk!!" I yell. He kisses my neck as he stays still. He looks at me for approval. "Move, please." I tell him, getting used to his size, but not fully. I don't think I can even get fully used to him. He starts fucking me just like how he used to. He pulls all the way about me and thrusts all the way back in at a painfully slow pace. "Please fuck me faster." I beg him. "Anything for you, love." He says, fucking me at an ungodly pace. "Baby, I think I'm going to cum." I say to him. It's been a while. I forgot how good he was at this. "Cum on my dick, baby. I just want to make you feel good." He encourages me, moving faster. I pull him in by his face and kiss his lips as I cum around him.

"I love you so much." He says kissing my forehead. We're laying together, watching a movie. I look up at him and kiss him. He's cuddling me and I'm in his shirt, like before. "I genuinely think you are the most beautiful woman on this planet." Jude goes on and on about how beautiful I am and how much he loves me until I fall asleep in his arms. Jude makes me feel so beautiful.

Wattpad: funkyfishfeet

DM for requests

[pancake404]

Speed/Lazuli/Silvia: a Romantic Relationship that's not great...(1)

Alright, I said I might do this so here we go.

Speed the Jolteon and Lazuli the Glaceon, as probably everyone who has read the comic would know, are the main romantic pairing in Eeeveelution Squad. It’s a pretty big part of the reason why Eeveelution Squad got popular; due to this, people began wanting the relationship to happen eventually, and then came the shipping wars and all that with people arguing on who Speed in particular should be with as well as other characters but the focus is particularly on him. Then came Silvia which made things worse.

I’m not going to fully explain who these characters are because most likely, if you’re reading this then that means you're probably already aware of the characters so let’s just continue to this romantic relationship which I tend to describe as, “way too liked to the point it’s kind of concerning" as well as, "Speed's Bad Ending"

Now as the...two people who saw my drawings and opinions of the characters of Eeveelution Squad might guess, I’m not exactly in favor of Lazuli and Speed's relationship happening at all or the fact that it did happen in its weird way. To be blunt, I don’t like it whatsoever and I have several reasons why and a decent ton of examples proving them(this not only goes for Lazuli and Speed but also Silvia and Speed at the same time but the ladder might come a little later).

So before anyone that does ship these two or three assassinates me for whatever reason you feel like taking it this far because I say your ship is not good, do me at least the small favor and read through this before the assassination attempt…or just, scroll past this.

Also, I'm not holding it against EV for the writing and having to be forced to set them up together but I don't think enough people realize just how bad the relationship is written to be which I'll be showing a lot of examples for this.

This is will be the first post/part of my rant and it'll mainly focus on Lazuli's treatment of Speed from the start and onward. There are more I want to get to which I can't in this post because there are a few limitations like the amount of images but I'll get to them later.

Now, without further to do, let’s begin.

Starting with Speed/Lazuli:

Let’s start with the basic reason why I don’t like it which is shown in the comics pretty frequently and it’s the constant physical violence that Lazuli commits against Speed. For me, it’s problematic when the first thing that pops up in my mind when thinking about this relationship is just Lazuli hitting Speed and beating him up throughout the whole comic. I understand she has this tsundere trope but here’s the issue, or rather the issue I have with it, it doesn’t make sense nor do I support hurting others, especially those that you supposedly love which is where the trope is often found. But it goes a little further for Lazuli’s case where it’s confirmed that for the first few months(or at least a decently long time), Lazuli did hate Speed which also means that those punches were genuine either from embarrassment, pettiness, or just an argument that Lazuli 99% of the time turns physical.

Speaking of examples, here's a list of them:

I'm willing to give her an "out" for this one as it could be chalked up as accidental as Lazuli quickly apologizes for running over Speed, thinking he's just some random Pokémon in the way.

Lazuli insults him the first time they truly meet, keep this in mind.

Personally, Speed is in the right here, given what we see, Lazuli bumps into Speed, quickly says "sorry" and runs off. Then once Speed comments on it being "a bit late" and that he almost fainted, Lazuli insults him by calling him weak(she has no idea how wrong she is).

Afterward, her way of an apology to this new individual(Speed) is just demanding forgiveness and when Speed shoots back, Lazuli escalates it to a punch already starting their streak of Speed beatdowns which is going to be consistently happening throughout the comic to some degree.

Previous to this exact moment(Chapter 1), Speed calls her nasty but this time is more of muttering to himself as he doesn't yell it out, Leaf doesn't notice this leading me to assume that Speed didn't intend for it to be heard. Again, Lazuli escalated this to physical violence.

Despite it, this is the moment where the ship began in most heads I believe. However, if you look at it from the context and see what's being displayed here, Lazuli is embarrassed and Speed looks disgusted, and even if you count Lazuli's blush as flustered or a hint that she may have liked it, Speed's reaction does not at all show that at all.

Speaking of that moment previously, we see the aftermath and there are bandages wrapped around his ears, head, and sides of his head, and on other panels, we see his chest and possibly stomach. Keep these moments in mind.

Surprisingly, Lazuli makes an effort to apologize but then she demands an apology from Speed which he rightfully questions as it isn't his fault for anything that happened and he was also the one getting beaten up for it. Then Lazuli straight up threatens to take that apology back which hints that she might not be truly sorry or she's pretty good at giving a reason for Speed to not like her.

Not only that, a small thing to notice is that in the previous page, Lazuli gets up and close to Speed, Speed is on the ground and the ball hits Lazuli on the back of the head causing the damage Speed took. Although I would agree it's accidental, Lazuli is more or less the one that set them up like that.

Now imagine yourself in his position, someone that had beaten the crap out of you for them getting knocked into you, which led to you both kissing on accident(somehow), finally apologizing later that night. But then imagine they demand an apology from you even if you did nothing wrong and if you refuse, they raise an arm to beat you up again. Sounds like they're not truly sorry and just want forgiveness because, in reality, they don't truly care as much. Of course, some may make the argument that they don't know each other but that's the issue, this is how they started off and it'll continue on for longer which makes the ship problematic but let's continue.

I'll be also doing these examples to try to put it in the perspective of Speed because this is what he would be thinking and experiencing if this was real life.

Special Chapter 8, before Lazuli had any feelings(doesn't change much regardless).

Kris straight up jumps on Speed to wake him up, however, the difference between instances with Lazuli and instances with Kris is that while Lazuli gives Speed injuries bad enough to give limbs wrapped with bandages, Kris at her worst seems to just give Speed a mean awakening but otherwise, he's completely fine.

Meanwhile Lazuli:

Another punch to the face hard enough to give Speed a nosebleed, all in front of Sunshine by the way.

She also quickly assumed that Speed was being a creep even though all he did(and he explained) was he was just waking her up. Also, Lazuli clearly did not notice Sunshine standing there as it would quickly disprove the likelihood of Speed planning something since his adopted daughter is standing right there.

That would be correct.

Alright then, some may argue that Lazuli didn't have a crush on Speed back then and that's why she was most aggressive with him/those moments don't count. Now, it's established she does now like him romantically or at least interested. You would think she would begin to change her ways as so far, she's been doing nothing but hurting him physically, right?

Let's see how she's doing after this reveal:

You are right about that alright.

If you look closely, Speed is tearing up, that is how hard he got hit in the head for just simply forgetting that he promised Lazuli to take her to the bookstore (which he does later that day with Silvia).

Because Speed is not aware that Lazuli has a crush on him(which is fair, why would he assume that when so far she continued to hurt him), in his perspective, Lazuli is going from hurting him throughout the months to now attacking others. This is also one of the only times Lazuli aims at someone else besides Speed...which I'll get to later.

Speed then apologizes for rightfully snapping at her and Lazuli turns down the flowers, which in his perspective, is just a decline of a apology gift which is way more effort than Lazuli had ever shown so far.

With more Speed abuse, he is getting cornered and integrated by Lazuli who is assuming too quickly, Silvia is messing with Speed with the "big brother thing", and now others are judging him for it because of these two.

Speed truly is just getting screwed over half the time and a lot of the times is from Lazuli or others which eventually lead to another beatdown.

Flashback to their earlier times, keep in mind, this is what Speed sees and remembers. One of them is a reference to chapter one and it's just showing Lazuli beating the crap out of him by...banging his head or more punches, either way, it's something that Speed will certainly remember.

Lazuli...complains that Speed didn't take the punch.

Also, it has apparently become so common for Speed to get hurt by Lazuli that everyone else including Speed's siblings is not even slightly bothered by it.

Besides one time with Silvia, so far in the comic, Lazuli had not attacked anyone else besides Speed. She feels bad because everyone else is being nice to her which could mean that nobody(but Leaf sort of) has directly called her out on it in these past months which also means Speed had been getting punched, beamed, etc. without anyone stepping in truly besides a few rare times.

Anyway, this is another thing that happened in Special Chapter 8, this is how they started off and continued to be after the first day. Also, once again, Lazuli escalates an argument to physical violence.

This is so far one of the more truly friendly interactions between the two and this is also around the moment where Lazuli develops feelings for him. A bit too bad that she didn't change her treatment afterward as much.

But I will give this moment some props as it shows that they don't have to be hate each other and that they can in fact get along if both sides want to. This also shows Speed's character as being this older brother/parent figure to most which I'll get to later.

One last punch...should've been done a while ago.

Now of course, others could argue that all of these times where Speed gets hit is because it's just a "funny gag", or since Speed is level 98, he'll be fine so it doesn't matter, or the fact that's it's not just straight up physical abuse(which it is).

But I disagree on all three of these reasonings, this "funny gag" that is presented happens so often where it doesn't become funny if it ever was and it just becomes uncomfortable to watch or read. Also, the fact that Lazuli later in the comic feels guilt and Speed in this exact panel yells about the abuse seems to already show that all of those punches were not forgotten about and it shouldn't be forgotten about. Not only that, for other shows or pieces of fiction that presents abusing the main character or...any character, a decent ton of them doesn't include injuries bad enough where bandages are needed and don't happen as often as it does in Eeveelution Squad. Seriously, until like the last four chapters, the only chapter that Lazuli does not hurt Speed in was like Chapter 3(Speed did expect a punch to come showing how that's his first response).

Secondly, the fact that he's level 98 or "should be fine" doesn't excuse on what Lazuli did throughout the whole comic. She still clearly was hurting him and he reacted to all of it negatively.

Even EV themself agreed and talked about how this sort of relationship would not ever work in real life and should not have worked even in the comic, that the only reason why Lazuli got her wish come true is that because the fans wanted it so badly.

Speaking about the fans, all I hope is that throughout the years that Eeveelution Squad was cut short and cancelled the reboot, there was time to think and mature(or maybe you just don't care anymore which is fair). Even if you support it the relationship or not, all I hope is that this gave you some other perspective to consider.

Although I have more to say like Speed's feelings later on, I'll say it in a different post but I will end this portion off like this(I still have Silvia and other examples in Eeveelution Squad to cook up as well as other thoughts), in the comic from Speed's perspective. They first meet on a bad start and they quickly despise each other, throughout the months in Speed's perspective, Lazuli mainly targets and physically hurts him for a variety of small reasons and assumptions. Nearly every interaction involves a punch to the face. This goes on for months straight and Speed of course would not think that Lazuli might have romantic feelings for him later on, because why would he? If she did, why does she keep trying to hurt him? If this was real life, if someone keeps hitting you for small reasons, the last thing you would think is that they have a crush on you.

I think it's fair to say that we should start normalizing being respectful and caring to those we might have romantic feelings for instead of being rude or be physically violent with and that is something EV had expressed when they discussed the issues with Lazuli and Speed.

All of this is not really about hating the writing and wished a different ending and all of that as I'm sure others already expressed that well enough but rather, I think not enough people understand and I also felt like expressing my opinions.

It could have worked sort of if Lazuli was aggressive toward everyone instead of primarily Speed in the comic and she began developing feelings for Speed as she realizes that despite all of her treatment toward him, he still tried to be respectful and caring because that's who he is unlike others who still don't like her. But also in the same time, her treatment of others and especially of Speed shows a lot more in the consequences. Like Speed might be able to forgive Lazuli but decides to not share her feelings because her actions still happened and he isn't going to forget months of that treatment quickly.

If I had to give a quick writing suggestion for anyone(and also myself), try to treat characters like humans, it's okay for it to be fictional but have some relatable real-life aspects that makes the audience be able to understand how or why a character is struggling or what challenges they face. It's okay to mess up in your first attempt in a story, or your second or third, as long as you use what you learned from the last one to improve the current one, then write till your content.

Now anyway, back to working on Silvia later as I said, there is a LOT more I can talk about.

[scoobydoodean]

Thinking about 4.11 “Family Remains” and how Dean keeps insisting to Brian (the dad) that he will save Brian’s family—that he will put himself at risk for them and he will find Danny.

Eventually, Brian asks Dean straight up why he cares so much—why he's willing to put himself at such risk for them. Dean doesn’t get to answer.

We know from the start of the episode that Dean has been hunting non-stop to cope with his trauma. That's made pretty obvious at the beginning of the episode:

SAM: What are you doing? DEAN: What's it look like I'm doing? SAM: Like you're looking for a job. DEAN: Yahtzee. SAM: We just finished a job like two hours ago. DEAN: Adrenaline's still pumping, I guess. So, what do you think... Cedar Rapids, Tulsa, or Chi-Town? SAM: I am all for working. I really am. But you got us chasing cases nonstop for like a month now. We need sleep. DEAN: Yeah, we can sleep when we're dead. SAM: You're exhausted, Dean. DEAN: I'm good. SAM: No, you're not. You're running on fumes, and you can't run forever. DEAN: And what am I running from? SAM: From what you told me. Or are we pretending that never happened?

We've seen this behavior from Sam before too—Sam pushing back to back hunts in 1.19-1.20 to cope with his anger, and in 2.11 (due to guilt over Ava) and in 2.19 to deal with Madison's death, and in 3.11 to deal with Dean's (temporary) death. We'll see it in the future too—the brothers displaying a need to work to get through something.

So it’s easy to say Dean is simply pushing himself to "be the hero" in 4.11 because of guilt about Hell and leave it at that. I do think Dean believes in atonement (we get hints about this in 4.05), but I think the reason Dean insists on being the person to jump down in the first hole they find instead of Ted, and then insists on going down the second compartment to find Danny when Brian is ready to do it, is also because Dean has a feeling they're going to have to kill this girl, and however scary she may be—however violent—she's also a victim of horrific abuse, and taking a life is always a serious thing. So Dean's trying to spare Brian from that trauma.

Dean doesn’t want Brian to have to take a life and (no matter how justified the kill) feel like a monster. Dean already does feel like a monster (no matter how justified his actions were, no matter how understandable it was because it was born from decades of torture... he still feels and deals with terrible guilt). So Dean takes on the highest risks and puts himself on the front line, upping the chance that if anyone has to do any killing tonight, it'll be him.

Dean does end up killing the boy in the walls in self defense, and the camera focuses on Dean staring at his body as Sam enters, while a sad theme plays in the background, and then we get this look from Dean:

This is the first time in the series that either brother kills a human (besides a demon meatsuit) and a teenager at that, so there's a special weight to it.

But Brian still ends up killing the girl in the walls immediately after this, and that scene is one of the more horrifying ones, because it's shot in a way that casts Brian as the monster lurking in the dark.

Earlier in the episode, we establish the horror of the anticipation of having ones legs grabbed.

DEAN finds a hole in the floor and looks through. TED: You're not going down there. DEAN: Well, do you want to? TED says nothing. DEAN starts down. DEAN: Please nobody grab my leg. Please nobody grab my leg.

And when Brian attacks the girl in the walls, from the perspective of his wife Susan and his daughter Kate, all we see is the girl suddenly get dragged out into the dark by the legs.

Then we focus on Susan and Kate as they listen in terror to the sound of her screaming as she's stabbed over and over and over.

When Brian knocks on the door they jump and scream.

After Susan opens the door for Brian, she backs away from him almost warily.

They see the knife—the blood on his hands and clothes.

Brian saved them, but he's shot as the monster who reaches out and grabs you by the legs. We cast the girl in the walls as a smaller monster (ultimately just a child who can easily be overpowered) snatched up in the jaws of a much bigger fish. All despite the fact that Brian did what he had to do.

SAM: You okay? DEAN: You know, I felt for those sons of bitches back there. Lifelong torture turns you into something like that. SAM: You were in hell, Dean. Look, maybe you did what you did there, but you're not them. They were barely human. DEAN: Yeah, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse.

[cyanidedrinkers]

Forgive me father for i have sinned.

A PriceGraves religious guilt fanfic. Tw: Religious guilt, Religious Trauma, Mentions of homophobia, accidental self-harm, Graves has a mental breakdown- Graves loved his Shadow's, They were like family to him and because they were his family he did everything in his power to make them comfortable. One of the major ways he does this is by taking the time to research their religions and adjusting accordingly. During Ramadan Graves tracks who's fasting and makes sure to have the night crew make food for those breaking fast. He keeps Kosher meals on hand at all times and special orders MRE'S for those in the field so they still get fed and don't have to go against their religion. All around base there are rooms for those who need to pray through out the day. He special orders uniforms for those who cant wear what is provided due to their religion, and assigns special roles for those who refuse to handle a gun but still wish to serve. All he asks is that he is informed ahead of time when someone needs to fast, take off for holidays, or pray so he can provide the support they need. If the company ever gets deployed around Saudi Arabia Graves asks around to see who would like to make their journey to the Kaaba. There's a small church area on the base for those to go to throughout the day and designated times for people to go attend service. He even provides custom helmets for those who decide to wear Hijabs or Kippah's and takes feed back on how to make them comfier.

Growing up in the south Graves was raised Catholic, His mother and father were very prominent at the church and so was little Phillip. He went to lent, ash Wednesday, attended church every Sunday, participated in dinner every Wednesday, learned old Latin so he can read the older versions of the bible, went to Catholic schools, he even prayed at every meal and before bed. His religion was sacred to him, It was an important part of his life growing up and so he strives to make others comfortable too. His love for his god tends to backfire though. After his betrayal of the 141 and Los Vaqueros he spent a whole week locked in his room praying and begging for forgiveness. His cross clutched so tightly in his hands that it left bruises and made that spot tender to the touch. Shadow's had stationed themselves outside the door to make sure he was safe but the cries coming from his room were those of pain and terror as he begged for forgiveness and to wash away his sin from his unholy body. It took nearly 3 months for him to get back to normal and when he did he got the worse news possible. "Due to the nature of this mission I'll be assigning 141 to help you. It'll be easier for them to stay on your base so clear out some space." Laswell stated firmly. Less then 24 hours ago Graves was hit with this news, He was scared to say the least. The 141...Staying with the shadows? How would he break it to his boys-, And girls, That the people who killed their teammates, lovers, and friends would be staying with them for god knows how long. Graves ran a hand over his face, His eyes threatening to close and his knees sore from sitting down all day from doing the paperwork for the 141's arrival. What he really wanted was to crack a beer open and watch the afternoon PT be done, He loved watching the new trainees get too cocky with their superior then bicker and moan as they were made to run laps. It brought him back to days were things were easy and he didn't have to worry about anything other then what their NCO was going to do to them. Pushing himself up and out of his chair with a loud groan Graves collected his things and set out to break the news to his shadows. The sun was just setting over the horizon as he took his first step out into the real world. The air smelled like a mixture of sweat, heat, dirt, and....rain? With a quick glance up at the clouds and a curse under his breath Graves made his way to the mess hall. "That stupid weather man said it wouldn't rain for another two days" He whined under his breath as he kicked a rock Infront of him, Repeating this action intel he eventually lost it. "Smells like damn rain to me, The clouds are white as snow but i just know it by the smell" His mumbling and grumbling to himself continued till he made it inside, It caught the eye of some shadows as he passed by them but they shrugged it off as him being hangry or a meeting gone wrong.

Once inside Graves was greeted by the waves and smiling faces of his Shadows, Some ran up to him and started asking how he was and if he was busy today because he didn't make his rounds like he normally does. Graves just smiled and made small talk intel everyone sat down. It was fairly easy to get everyone's attention when he needed it.

He stood and cleared his throat, Graves had prepared to yell over all the noise but the sound of silence washed over the mess hall as he stood and nothing but clattering forks could he heard as the attention was on him.

"Well that was easier than i remember-" He smiles to himself, He's still got it.

"It is with uttermost disappoint that i inform you that the 141 will be staying with us-" Groans and yelling cut him off. His shadows like small children sometimes, They whined and one person let out a very loud "NOOOOOO" which was met by laughter and agreement.

"I know we haven't been the best of friends with them but i expect you all to treat them with respect and to NOT, I repeat, NOT disrespect them in anyway OR steal their stuff." Graves hisses out, He aims that last part at a Shadow not to far away from him who's known for stealing things from people she dislikes.

This gets a unsatisfied groan from her but understanding nods from everyone else, And with that Graves grabs himself some dinner and goes back to his quarters for the night.

Once his meal is done and he finally shuts down his laptop Graves changes into a simple T-shirt and sweats. He removes the cross necklace from around his neck, takes off his socks and gets on his knees at the foot of his bed. His hands, Grasping the cross that lays so perfectly across his hands, and closes his eyes as he bows his head.

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Please, Allow these next few days to go well. Allow sin and hatred to not come in-between our mission and deliver my children back to me safely. Give me strength to push through and give strength to those who will have to see the faces of those who killed their loves, friends, and brothers in arms. Allow nothing but peace between the two companies lord. Amen"

Graves stays there for a few more seconds before standing up and setting his necklace at the bedside table. As he gets into bed and drifts into sleep he can't help but have that same gruff voice pop up in his head, Those calloused hands, the smell of cigars, it all swarms his mind intel he finally falls asleep....

That was part one :) if ya'll liked it let me know and I'll probably continue it- I had to do a lot of research so i apologize if everything isn't correct- I'm Agnostic, Former Christian, and don't know very much but I'm trying.