#they have never experienced growing up to 12 unaware lesbians even EXISTED because queer people barely existed in media
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i have such strong memories related to black sails like. it was my mom's birthday. during a weekend. think 2018/2019. we went away for the weekend to this. place. idk what its called in english but yk rent a tiny house for like a few days. whatever. i can remember what it looked like. i sat on that couch watching black sails. my sister and i had to share a room and i managed to break the bed (not permanently) i had to sleep on & because even after fixing it i didnt trust it, i slept on the floor. it was on that floor that i watched s2 of black sails. it was on that floor that i saw that fucking scene that fundamentally changed me as a person. because. listen. black sails was one of the first shows id watched with a queer story. with not one but two major plot threads revolving around queer people's relationships. i remember sitting in the car in the dark as the rest of my family was ordering fries for us and i remember my mom going "hey look gay couple!" in a restaurant. it doesnt feel real. that entire weekend is a fever dream. i thought i was just watching a pirate show. the pirates were gay. the pirates were fucking gay bro. i cried over that show. i wept at the end of it. i had to play boardgames for my mom's birthday and pretend like i wasnt going insane because the pirates were gay and i was just. ough. i was 14 or 15 and i was barely out and i was new to being queer in any capacity and it was such an experience.
#i really think my extreme reactions as like. a 14ish year old to stuff like 'is hannibal in love with me' & the wedding crashing#in shadowhunters and the kiss in black sails.#i really think that shouldve clued me in on the fact that i was trans & gay. earlier.#which doesnt make sense since im also aromantic but eh. yk. seeing people like yourself on a screen for the first time#even before you know? wild. insane#current 13 year olds doing discourse on tik tok have never experienced the utter surprise that was black sails.#they have never experienced growing up to 12 unaware lesbians even EXISTED because queer people barely existed in media#i really feel like ive grown up alongside queer media.#just. i remember tlok. & shera. & adventure time. all kids shows!#& then ofmd? last year? i spent the entire time convinced id get queerbaited#i started watching it when episode 4 had just aired and i. i thought it was queerbait.#it wasnt until they actually kissed that i sat there like. huh. spn really did fuck with my head#DO YOU KNOW. HOW FUCKIGN INSANE IT WAS. TO SEE A NONBINARY PERSON#criticize monster/robot nonbinary characters all you like but when i first saw double trouble i was just.#getting to witness o14's development since season of dawn in real time was also amazing#idk.#i think writing valerian has made me really really emotional about gay middleaged men again#also its late. and i miss black sails. i should rewatch black sails
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