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fairylightsandchai · 5 years ago

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The Internship - Part 1

A/N: Hello! I know I usually don’t post fanfiction to this blog, but I really wanted to participate in @darkficsyouneveraskedfor‘s Pre-Code Challenge! Just ignore this if you follow me and you’re not interested.

Pairing: Dark!Professor!Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: >10K

Summary: You are a student in the former-Captain America’s American History class, and you soon notice that Professor Rogers has been paying more than a professional amount of attention to you. But when he approaches you with an internship opportunity that’s too good to be true, how can you say no?

(A/N: This fic contains non-con elements, stalking, and manipulation, and in later parts it will inclue rape, breeding kink, and kidnapping. It is also inspired by The Wild Party, a film from 1929. I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think.)

You had always wanted to be a writer. When you were a little girl, you’d spent most of your time with your nose in a book and your head in the clouds, dreaming of the day when you would tell stories of your own, stories that connected with people all over the globe.

And then the Battle of New York had happened.

You had been in high school during the attack, a shy freshman who had only wanted to blend in and disappear amongst the rest of your classmates. You’d still had your dreams of being a bestselling author someday.

But, like so many other things in your small, sheltered world, all of that changed the day the Chitauri invaded. You hadn’t been in the city at the time; you’d grown up in upstate New York, about an hour away from the busy metropolis, but it had still shaken your small town to its foundations. It was too close to home, too huge for you and your neighbors to comprehend.

After it had happened, you spent less time dwelling on fiction and more time focused on the truth; the nonfiction isles of your school’s library became your second home, and you were always the first one in your family to read the Sunday paper. You followed current events almost obsessively, imagining one day having your name printed on the New York Post under a ground-breaking story that would define the rest of your career – the rest of your life.

You had not, however, counted on having one of the Avengers as your professors in college, and yet here you were, stood outside the history building of Columbia University with binder in hand, a syllabus and class schedule tucked inside of it.

You hadn’t realized that you would need to take classes on subjects other than writing – you’d known about the needed electives for your course, obviously, but most of them were somehow linked to writing, be it creatively or informatively. Your required history credit had surprised you, though, and your surprise only doubled as you’d scrolled through the available history courses on your student Blackboard account and found a name that stood out amongst the rest. American History (157) – Professor Steven Grant Rogers.

At first you’d chuckled at the coincidence and signed up for it without thinking, but after you’d been accepted into the course, after you’d read and studied its syllabus, you’d started researching your various professors only to find that Professor Steven Grant Rogers…was actually THE Steven Grant Rogers. As in, Captain America himself. As in, one of the people who had fought against the Chitauri and inspired you to seek out journalism.

And now you were about to walk into his class.

Letting out a deep sigh, you pushed a strand of your hair out of your eyes and adjusted your cardigan before pushing open the door of the classroom and stepping inside. Looking around, you only noticed a handful of other students, but then again you had arrived fifteen minutes early for class. Your eyes scanned each of their faces before finally meandering to the front of the classroom, immediately picking out the shape of your professor sitting at his desk.

Even with him sitting behind his desk, you could tell that he was huge. His shoulders were broad, and the fabric of his light blue shirt strained against them as he hunched over, jotting something into a leather notebook. His hair was neat and trimmed, and he had grown out a beard since his retirement from the Avengers. It looked good on him, you mused, but in the middle of your thoughts he turned and looked at you, his piercing blue eyes looking directly into yours, and you froze where you stood.

You saw his eyes widen for a split second while he took you in, but before you could register the shift in his expression he had put on an easy smile, giving you a small nod.

“Welcome,” Professor Rogers spoke, his voice warm and genuine.

You, for your part, answered with an incredibly smooth and well-thought-out response.

“U-um…” you stammered, shifting on your feet. “Hello.”

Feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, you ducked your head and darted to the first row of desks and sank into one, willing your heart to stop its infernal pounding. As you silently cursed yourself for being so nervous, you opened your binder and pulled out the only two sheets of paper in it along with your spiral bound notebook before reaching into your backpack and rooting around for a pen.

He’s just a person, you lectured yourself internally. A person who has saved the world on more than one occasion, but a person, nonetheless. He probably gets tired of people acting differently around him just because he’s- “Do you need a copy of the syllabus?”

The voice came from in front of you, and your head popped up to see Professor Rogers standing in front of your desk holding a stack of papers. He held one out to you, but you quickly smiled and picked your syllabus off of your desk.

“Oh, no, thanks! I printed one off last night,” you explained. “But thank you.”

His smile grew, and he walked back to his desk, setting the papers back down.

“You’re prepared; I’m glad to hear it.”

The minutes ticked by after that, a slow but steady line of students filing into the class as its start time grew nearer. You gauged your peers’ reactions curiously, observing as some hardly seemed to recognize your professor while a few others stopped to ask for a selfie with him. The first time that happened, your eyes had widened their bold question, but the former Avenger bared it gracefully, simply shaking his head and giving them a smile.

“If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to hold off on that till the end of class,” he’d say. “If you still want one after we’re all done then just stay behind for a few minutes.”

Finally the clock read 10:30 and Professor Rogers made his way to the front of the desk, right in front of the empty, clean whiteboard. He took a few moments to look out over the full classroom, taking in all of the students before him. When his eyes landed on you, you swore that you saw him linger for a moment, a curious gleam resting in his eyes before he looked away and opened his mouth to speak.

“Well, everyone, it’s time to get started,” he began. “As you probably know by now, my name is Steve Rogers, and this class is dedicated to American History from 1914 to 1939. I’d like to just say right off the bat that I’m happy to have all of you in my class, and I hope that this course is informative and helpful to each of your personal fields of study.

“Now to address the elephant in the room,” he said, starting to pace slowly, “yes, I was alive during most of that period of time, and I did use to be known as Captain America. But I hung up that hat a few years ago, and I’d appreciate it if you showed me the same courtesy and respect that you show your other professors. That being said, I don’t want you to hesitate to ask me any personal questions you may have as long as they relate to what we’re discussing in class. Any off topic questions should be kept to yourselves or saved for after we are finished for the day.

“Any questions?”

There was a moment of silence as he searched for any raised hands.

“Is the shield as heavy as it looks?” someone called from the back row, and a few snickers could be heard from around the room.

Professor Rogers let out a chuckle of his own and pointed to the student who’d asked.

“That is a great example of a question that should be saved for after class.”

____________

Steve waved goodbye to the last of his students, only minorly annoyed at how many had stayed late to take a picture with him. As he packed up his things and prepared to head to his office for the rest of the day, he mused that he should have been used to it by now. With social media so prominent in society these days, he’d been hounded for selfies ever since 2012, but they were still (and probably would always be) aggravating to him.

He didn’t linger on that today, though; he had so many other important things to think about, after all. And most of them revolved around you.

A smile twisted his features as he remembered how you’d looked when you’d first walked into his class – so shy and hesitant but just as gorgeous as always. He’d been so pleased to see you wearing your long green cardigan today; it was one of his favorites. Mostly because of that time he’d seen you walking around your little apartment wearing nothing but your bra and panties under it, but he had to admit that you’d looked almost just as sexy wearing it with those brown leggings you’d had on today.

As he made his way across campus to the building his office was in, he didn’t even try to hide the smirk on his face; he finally had accomplished the first part of his plan. He’d hoped to have you in his class sooner, but it had been hard finding someone to hack into the school records to add that history credit to your list of prerequisites. Well, rather, it had been hard finding someone discreet enough to get the job done. Plenty of his friends would have been able to do it without any problem; hell, Tony probably had done that exact same thing in the past. But they would have asked questions, and he couldn’t afford to have people poking around in something that didn’t concern them.

A part of Steve knew that this wasn’t the right way of going about having you; the Steve from before Thanos would have been disgusted with his actions, absolutely repulsed at what he was planning to do. But after the snap, after he’d watched so many people he’d cared about turn to dust, something in him had changed. He’d tried so hard, so goddamn hard, to do the right thing, but in the end it hadn’t been good enough to stop everything from happening. And even now, after Thanos was dead and the fallen had been brought back, he was still different than before. He’d done the right thing his entire life, and all he’d gotten from it was heartache.

But now he would finally claim what he deserved. He would claim you.

The first time he’d seen you, it had been in the campus coffee shop. He had only been teaching for a year at the time, and he hadn’t foreseen how overwhelming it could be. While the students were cramming and stressing over finals, he was clamoring to compile the perfect exam for his class, the perfectionist in him never fully satisfied and constantly worrying if he had enough questions, if they were balanced enough, if they were too easy or too hard or irrelevant to the course.

Basically, he had been frazzled, and all he’d wanted was a small black coffee and a corner booth at the café to work on his laptop in. But then he’d seen you.

You were sitting at a table with a girl around your age, and the two of you were laughing about something; it must have been hilarious, because your head was thrown back and your eyes were closed as your laugh bubbled out of your smiling lips. It was in that moment that he knew that love at first sight existed. Every love song he’d ever heard had suddenly sounded in his ears, and he stood there as if frozen as he watched you, his eyes already straining to remember every little detail about your face.

After that day, he’d started seeing you on campus more and more often, though that might have been because he was following you. In his mind, though, it wasn’t following. It was…researching. He had to know if he’d been mistaken, if that electric feeling he’d felt upon seeing you had somehow been something other than love at first sight.

But as days turned to weeks turned to months of him following you, of him watching you while you were none the wiser, he knew that he hadn’t been mistaken. It seemed fell for you more and more with everything he learned about you and your life. Your body, your mind, your very soul seemed to be meant for him.

There was a problem, though. On the third day of him watching you, you and your friend from the café (he’d learned that her name was Tina) had gone to the library to study together, and he’d overheard you telling her something that made his heart sink. “So… You’ve been in college for a year now,” Tina had started, and you’d groaned, knowing where she was going even before she said anything else.

“No, Tina,” you sighed.

“What! I’m just wondering when you’re planning on finding yourself a man,” your friend insisted as you rolled your eyes.

“Is never a viable answer?”

“No – you and I both know it’s not. C’mon, you’ve talked about wanting to meet your dream man since high school!”

“Well, yeah, I’ve talked about it,” you’d said. “Talking about something and actually doing it are two different things, babe.”

“I knowww,” Tina had sighed. “But c’mon, now is the time to be looking for people to share a future with.”

You’d snorted a bark of laughter at that.

“It most certainly is not,” you’d countered. “I need to focus on my career right now, Tina. Even IF I met Mr. Right, I’m not gonna start a serious relationship until after college. I gotta put myself first right now.”

“I guess I see where you’re coming from,” she’d huffed. “I get it. But you could just, you know…fool around, right? College is the time for experimentation! Don’t you wanna get that cherry popped before you graduate?”

“TINA!”

“What!” your friend had laughed. “I know you’re dying to turn in that v-card of yours.”

Steve had had to stop listening at that point. With a muffled curse, he’d turned on his heel and all but fled from the library, feeling his heart soar and shatter all at once. On one hand, that same sick part of him that was driving his actions was all but singing; if your friend had been telling the truth, then you were a virgin. His (Y/N) really was a good girl – something that was rare to find these days, especially in young college girls. A sweet, innocent girl just like he’d always dreamed about starting a family with.

But, on the other hand, you were determined to hold off on relationships until the end of college. And even if you’d be willing to let Steve be the exception to that rule, that still didn’t change the fact that you were a student and he was a member of the faculty; he would not only lose his job if the two of you were found out, but he was sure that reporters and journalists would jump at the opportunity to write an exposé about Captain America taking advantage of a student at the university he taught at.

No, he would have to be smart about this. He knew he didn’t want to wait for you to finish your four-year degree, but he also couldn’t risk either of your reputations with some kind of forbidden relationship, if you’d even have him. He would have to think this through. He would have to come up with a plan.

___________

You were surprised at how quickly you got used to having Captain America as a teacher. You would still get nervous when he spoke directly to you, of course, but the insight he had to offer was priceless. It was one thing to learn about a period of history from a textbook, but it was another thing entirely to learn about it from someone who was actually there.

Professor Rogers was knowledgeable and kind to all of his students, and your favorite parts of his lectures were when your classmates would raise their hands and ask him about what it was like to live during whatever part of history you were learning about. You’d learned about Captain America and his backstory in high school history classes, of course, but the way he would answer those personal questions showed a whole different side of him. But you were starting to wonder if that new side of him was as golden as his status as a hero made him out to be.

Recently, something seemed a little bit off about him, as much as you hated to admit it. It only would happen in brief little flashes, so brief that immediately after you would find yourself questioning whether or not it had actually happened, but you could swear that he’d been…staring a lot recently. Specifically, he would be staring at you.

More and more often in class, you would start to feel like you were being watched; it was if you could sense eyes on you just out of the corner of your vision, and it would make your hairs stand on end. Usually, you would turn and see nothing out of the ordinary, and you would be able to chalk it up to an overactive imagination. But every now and then, you would turn and see Professor Rogers staring at you, his jaw clenched and his eyes dark.

As soon as it would happen, his expression would clear into a neutrally polite smile, and you always tried to return it to the best of your ability. But as the weeks went by, it was happening more and more frequently. And then there were the touches.

Mr. Rogers never touched you in an inappropriate way; you were almost certain that he never would. But whenever he would collect your papers, or whenever he would pass out assignments, his hand would always seem to linger. Sometimes, he would let his fingertips drag against yours as he took whatever you were handing to him; sometimes, he would set his hand on your shoulder for the briefest of moments when you dropped an assignment off with him before leaving class.

He’d also started commenting about your appearance at the beginning of class. From the moment you walked in the door to the moment you sat down in your seat, he’d manage to make some comment on your outfit. The first time he’d said something was on one of the many occasions where you were wearing your favorite cardigan.

“You look very nice today, (Y/N),” he’d mentioned in passing, almost making you stumble on your way to your seat. You’d barely managed to stutter out a ‘thank you’. After that, it happened every time you saw him, and some part of your mind whispered that he never complimented your classmates the way he would compliment you.

“I like how you did your hair this morning,” he’d said the next time.

“Like the new jeans, (Y/N),” the week after. (How had he even known those jeans were new?)

“That’s a nice color on you.”

“Looking lovely as always.”

You did love having Professor Rogers as your teacher, but each class with him made you feel increasingly uncomfortable despite your best efforts. In your mind, you knew that you were reading too much into it, but that was never able to stop you from feeling a cold shiver run up your back when you’d see him glaring at you from behind his desk.

Despite your growing anxiety about your history professor, though, you were settling in quite nicely to your day to day routine. Your favorite days were Fridays, though; you spent your afternoons right before the weekend with your best friend, Tina. She had been your friend since junior year of high school, and while the two of you were opposites when it came to most things, the bond you shared was strong and deep.

This Friday, however, she’d had to cancel your weekly study session; Tina was in Columbia’s dental department, and every now and then her and the other aspiring dentists would do volunteer events to help people in the surrounding area get free dental care. You were always proud of her when she took part in events like those, but you always felt a little lonelier on Friday afternoons.

After spending the morning sleeping in and meal prepping for the week, you set out on your way to the library without your best friend in tow; you would just have to study on your own that week, especially with the first test of the semester looming over you in Mr. Roger’s class. He was kind to his students, yes, but he was also demanding. He’d made it abundantly clear that he expected quality work out of his students.

“This is an advanced class,” he would say. “I expect you to be advanced learners.”

Pulling your heavy wool jacket tighter around your body, you trudged into the library and sat at yours and Tina’s regular table towards the back, opening your history textbook and busting out your favorite blue highlighter; this would be a study session of the ages, not interrupted by anything or anybody-

“(Y/N), is that you?”

…Maybe you’d spoken too soon.

Looking up, you saw none other than the man whose class you were about to be studying for. Professor Rogers was walking over to you with one hand in his pocket; in his other rested a copy of The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and you smiled as you read its title.

“Hi, Professor,” you greeted him. You made to stand up out of your chair, but before you could he took his hand out of his pocket and set it on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“Oh, no, don’t get up on my account. What brings you here today? Got a big test coming up or something?”

You forced a weak smile to your lips, acutely aware that his hand was still on your shoulder.

“Oh, yeah,” you managed to joke. “One of my pesky teachers is giving us a test next Thursday.”

“Who does he think he is?” your teacher chuckled. Finally, he let his hand slide off of your shoulder, and you once again looked at the book he was holding.

“The Book Thief?” you asked, nodding to it. “Are you checking it out?”

“Oh! Yeah. For the second time, actually. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Really? It’s one of my favorites too!”

Steve grinned, even though he’d already known that. He’d read most of the books you had on your shelf at home; at first, he’d done it to try and draw closer to you, to see what kind of stories you liked. But after a while he just did it because you had good taste; the only book of yours that had disappointed him was a cheesy teenager romance you’d had since high school, but even then he thought it was adorable that you found enjoyment in such things.

“It sure is a small world, huh?” he drawled, pulling out the chair across the table from yours. “Do you mind if I join you for a little while?”

You hesitated, looking between the chair he was already half sitting in and the charming smile he had on his face. Something about the whole thing seemed off to you, but you shook away that feeling and nodded your head.

“Be my guest,” you finally said, and your professor didn’t hesitate to sink into his seat.

“Thanks, doll.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at that and quickly gave him what you hoped was more of a convincing smile.

“N-no problem, Mr. Rogers,” you hurriedly assured him. A smirk stretched across his lips as he reached across the table, letting his hand rest on the back of yours.

“I’ll never get used to people calling me that,” he chuckled. “How about you just call me Steve when we’re not in class?”

Your eyes widened and you gulped, eyes flickering between his face and his hand, so warm against yours.

“Wouldn’t that be, uh… unprofessional?” Your voice was higher pitched than usual as you said it, and it only made his smile grow.

“Not if we kept it our little secret. You wouldn’t tell anyone, would you?”

He arched his eyebrows questioningly at you, and for some reason you immediately shook your head.

“No, I… I wouldn’t tell anyone, Prof- Steve.”

Steve tried his best to keep his face neutral, but on the inside, he felt like fire works were going off in his head upon hearing you say his name. He knew it would sound sweet in your soft voice, and if it sounded good now, he couldn’t imagine how nice it would be to hear you moan it. One day, he promised himself. One day.

You squirmed in your seat as Professor Ro- Steve, you told yourself, Steve – watched you. After a few seconds of silence you hesitantly leaned forward.

“Steve?”

He seemed to snap back to reality, and once more his ever-present smile was carefully arranged on his face.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, clearing his throat. “I, uh… Zoned out there for a second.”

“It’s ok,” you assured him. “I do that in your class all the time.”

“Hey,” he laughed, “C’mon, that’s not nice.”

You chuckled at your own joke and shrugged.

“I’m just joking,” you assured him.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he grinned. “Maybe that’s why you and Tina are always studying together.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself, but something stopped you from saying anything. Something about what he’d just said didn’t quite make sense, you told yourself.

Steve furrowed his brows at the look on your face.

“You ok over there, doll?”

“Y-yeah,” you nodded rapidly, turning to collect your things as alarm bells kept going off in your head. “I’m fine. I actually just remembered something; I have to go.”

“Go? So soon? I didn’t chase you off, did I?” His lips were lifted into a half-smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes as he watched you pack up your books.

“Oh, no!” you were quick to exclaim. “No, not at all! I just… I just left one of my textbooks at home. I’m so stupid.”

You finally slung your bag over your shoulder and made to leave, but all of a sudden there was an iron-like grip encircling your upper arm. You whipped your head around so quickly that for a moment your hair obscured your vision. When you shook it away, you saw Steve watching you with slightly narrowed eyes, his smirk still on his lips.

For a moment, you just stared at him, feeling your heartbeat quicken as his thumb idly rubbed circles against your bicep.

“Don’t call yourself stupid,” he finally muttered, letting his hand fall. “You’re a smart girl, (Y/N). I’m sure you’re just feeling a little…overwhelmed. From your classes, that is.”

You nodded numbly, taking a small step backwards, taking yourself out of arm’s reach.

“Y-yeah… That must be it. Sorry, Steve.”

You turned and walked away, just barely catching his next few words.

“No problem, hon.”

You felt his eyes on you all the way out of the library, and the feeling didn’t go away until you fell asleep that night, the sound of his voice echoing in your ears and the line of his smile still etched behind your eyelids. Just before you drifted off, it suddenly came to you, the reason why you’d felt such a sudden need to leave him.

How had he known that you were friends with Tina?

_____

Steve sighed as he sank into his armchair, watching you fall asleep through his telescope; one day he would really have to talk to you about leaving your blinds open.

Once he was sure you were asleep for the night, he looked around his small apartment, thinking about your little study session in the library. When you’d left in such a hurry, he’d felt angry at first, just barely able to keep himself from snapping at you to sit back down. It was rude to just run off like that, after all.

But then he’d heard your heartbeat, pounding away in your soft, sweet chest, and he’d understood: you were nervous around him. The fact had made him so giddy that he’d excused your impolite behavior this time, letting you go and waiting a few minutes before following you back to your apartment. You were nervous around him, and he was willing to bet it was because of your feelings. He’d been watching you even closer than usual for the past month, watching how you’d squirm in your seat in class when your eyes met his, feeling your quickening pulse anytime his hand lingered on yours.

You were starting to fall for him, he just knew it.

He stood up from his armchair, wandering over to his tiny kitchen and grabbing a beer for himself. It would all be worth it someday – the tiny apartment he’d bought just to be closer to you, the time he’d dedicated to watching you each day, the expensive hidden bugs he’d planted in your house so he could listen in on your life. One day, when you were well and truly his, he would move out of this apartment and buy a home for the two of you, one big enough for the family you would have.

He could see it even now as he settled back into his favorite chair, peeking through the telescope to glance at your sleeping form. One day, you would be able to quit your silly dream of journalism and be his wife, focusing on him and the children you would have. Oftentimes, Steve would imagine five or six little kids running around the house, even though he knew it was unreasonable to think of such things.

You guys would stop at four, he’d decided.

His cock twitched in his sweatpants at the idea of you round and swollen with his child. You would be such a good mother, such a good wife. You would be everything he’d ever wanted.

With a sigh, he took his cock out, stroking it leisurely as he kept your eyes on your face, peaceful and oblivious as you slept on. He hoped you were dreaming about him, fantasizing about him the way he was fantasizing about you right now.

He let out a soft moan at the idea of what your first time together would be like. You would lead him into your bedroom, hand in his as your hips swayed with your stride. He would sit on the edge of the bed as you stripped, watching as each delicious inch of your skin was slowly revealed to him. You would be wearing white, lacy lingerie, as pure and unsullied as your body.

His hand moved faster on his cock as he imagined what you’d taste like, what it would be like to have his face buried between your legs, his tongue delving into your tight, wet heat as you bucked and squirmed against him. You’d pull his hair and moan his name, your voice getting higher and breathier the closer you got to your release.

But he wouldn’t give it to you, oh no. Not with his tongue at least. He would pull away at the last second and hold you in his arms, his eyes not leaving yours for a second as he pushed his cock into you. He would go slow, at first. He knew it would be your first time, and the last thing he ever, ever wanted was to hurt you. A small part of him still wondered, though, what noise you would make as he pressed into you for the first time, how his cock would look coated in your cum and blood, how your face would contort in that strange mix of pleasure and pain as he took your innocence.

All too soon, though, he was brought back to reality when he felt his cum coat the back of his hand, and as he came down from his release, he felt a familiar surge of disappointment that it wasn’t your pussy that was making him cum, that his were the only moans to be heard in his lonely apartment.

He shoved his cock back into his pants and took one last look at you before standing up to go clean himself off. You were still sleeping, innocent and unaware of all the plans he had in store for you.

_______

You debated skipping your next class with Steve. As each day went by, you got more and more paranoid. Whether you were at work, walking from class to class, or even at the grocery store, you kept thinking you saw Steve. You would catch a glimpse of blonde hair or broad shoulders and do a double-take, but every time you saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Part of you still thought you were overreacting. He was your teacher, for god’s sake. And he was a former Avenger; if anything, you should’ve felt safer in his presence.

When Thursday came around, you pushed down your desire to skip class and soldiered on, stopping for a coffee on the way and taking your seats just a few minutes before class began. The teacher you’d been so paranoid about was seated behind his desk, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he stared at his laptop.

As you passed him on the way to your seat, his bright blue eyes darted upwards, and he gave you a soft smile like he always did when you walked into his classroom.

“Good morning, (Y/N),” he greeted you. “That’s a nice sweater you got on today.”

“Good morning, professor,” you’d murmured back, shoving your hands into your pockets. “Thank you.”

You scurried over to your seat and plopped down into it. With all of your nerves, you’d almost forgotten to study for the test today. You’d only managed to cram in about half an hour last night; all of your other attempts at studying had found you without the ability to focus on the textbooks in front of you, mind wandering distractedly.

“Alright, guys,” your professor finally sighed, standing up from his desk and grabbing a stack of papers off of it. “Before we get started with this test, do any of you have any questions?”

When no one raised their hand, he nodded and started passing them out. As he set your test on your desk, you looked to see him wink at you, his lips curving upwards.

“Good luck,” he whispered, and your cheeks heated as you slid the paper closer to yourself.

After that, you made a decided effort not to make any more eye contact with your teacher as you started writing out your answers. Mr. Rogers had only ever given you guys essay questions, encouraging his students to write out their thought processes behind each of their answers. You kind of resented him for it; essay questions were always, without fail, tedious.

The minutes ticked by slowly, the only sounds in the room behind the scratches of pens and pencils against papers and the occasional rustle when someone would flip their page over. You were amongst the first ones to finish, and when you dropped your test off with Steve at his desk, his hand once again found a way to linger against your own.

Biting your lip, you drew your hand back quicker than usual, scurrying back to your desk and pulling a book out of your bag to read. Not that you actually read it; your eyes stayed steadily on one sentence for the next several minutes. When they finally did lift off of the page, they immediately found your teacher’s eyes, boring into you with that same dark intensity. You shivered as you snapped your gaze back to the page in front of you.

When everyone had finished with their tests, Professor Rogers stood from his desk chair and cleared his throat, drawing all attention to himself.

“Alright, good job guys. Feeling good about how you did?” There were a few grumbles and murmurings heard throughout the room; apparently you weren’t alone in your dislike of essay questions. “I’ll take that as a yes.

“So I thought that I would cut today’s class short this week,” he went on, and all of you perked up at the idea of leaving early. “Before you all head out, though, I wanted to tell you about a new internship opportunity I’m spearheading.

“For the time being, the details of the internship are being kept under wraps, but I can say that it involves travelling to New York City for a week and keeping a field journal while you’re there. What you’ll be doing in New York, unfortunately, can’t be disclosed right now.”

You sat up straighter in your seat, interest piqued. A field journal? It sounded like whatever the internship was involved journalism skills. (Or scientific skills – you were pretty sure scientists kept field journals, at least. You shrugged that idea off pretty quickly, though; why would a history professor be in charge of a scientific internship?)

“If you’re interested in applying for it, you’ll need to write an essay and turn it in to me at the beginning of next week’s class. The essay needs to be about a historic event that has somehow impacted your personal life, and it can be from any era of history, not just the one we’re learning about in class… Oh, and make it over 1,500 words in length. Any questions?”

A few students raised their hands, but you tuned them out as you thought over what you would write about. That is, if you decided to apply for it. You still had no idea what the internship was for, after all. But, you reasoned, if it didn’t turn out to be something you were interested in, you could always say no, right?

“…Alright, guys, you’re free to go. Email me if you have any questions about your test grades once they’re posted,” Steve finally said, and you distractedly started putting your things away, still thinking about what you would write about.

When you finally stood up from your desk, you went to sling your backpack over your shoulder only to feel it hit against something. Or, if the small “oof” that had sounded upon impact was anything to go by, someone.

Your hand flew up to your mouth when you turned and saw none other than your teacher standing there, having just been hit in the stomach by your bag – your very heavy bag, which contained no less than three textbooks inside of it.

“Professor Rogers! Oh my god, I am so sorry-“ you started, but he waved it off with a good-natured grin.

“Don’t worry about it, (Y/N),” he insisted, waving off your concern. “I’ve survived much worse, believe me.”

You smiled a little at that and finished putting your bookbag over your shoulders.

“Still, I’m sorry. I promise I’ve never assaulted any of my professors before.”

“A likely story, Miss (Y/L/N),” he joked. “A likely story.”

The two of you were silent for a beat before he cleared his throat and gestured to you.

“I was just wanting to ask if you were planning on applying for that internship I mentioned.”

“Oh, uh… Yeah, I was, actually. Why do you ask?”

“Well… I know that I said I couldn’t go into what exactly the internship entails, but I did want to mention to you that it involves some journalism. That’s what you’re majoring in, right?”

You nodded, feeling excited about your suspicions being correct.

“It is, yeah! I thought it might have something to do with it when you mentioned field journaling,” you said. “Could I ask what the journaling would be about, or would that give too much away?”

“It would give way too much away,” your teacher confirmed. “But trust me, I think it’ll be up your alley.”

Your mind turned it over, taking in Steve’s raised eyebrows and expectant smile. He seemed even more eager than you were about the internship.

“Well, I’ll make sure to write my essay for it,” you assured him. “Just gotta think of what I’ll be writing about.” Your brain had already pondered writing about the Battle of New York; sure, it hadn’t even been ten years since it happened, but it was a historical event. And it was the main reason you’d wanted to pursue journalism, of course. But you almost died with embarrassment at the idea of writing an essay about something Captain America was involved in and then letting it be read by Captain America himself.

As if reading your thoughts, Steve asked, “Any idea about what your subject will be on?”

“Oh, uh…” you muttered, “I-I had one idea, but I don’t think I’m gonna go with it.”

“Why not?”

“Well…” You sighed, not able to meet his eyes as you confessed, “My immediate thought was the Battle of New York. I know you probably don’t like being reminded of it, but it just… It changed my world, the entire way I view things – it’s what made me want to be a journalist. After the invasion, the world – the universe, really – seemed so much bigger, and it made me want to tell stories about the reality we live in now rather than telling stories that are fiction.”

You trailed off, looking back up at him sheepishly when you realized you were rambling. He was watching you with an intent look on his face, and for a second you were worried that the memory had upset him.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Rogers. I didn’t mean-“

“No, no,” he interrupted, shaking his head, “don’t be. I understand; it kinda turned my world upside down, too. I’d thought that waking up from the 40’s had been disorienting enough, but… When I saw aliens on the streets of the city I grew up in, it really made me feel like I wasn’t in Kansas anymore.”

Your lips twitched into a half-smile.

“Was that a Wizard of Oz reference?”

“…It sure was,” Steve grinned. “Old fashioned, I know, but it was one of my favorites growing up.”

“Me too,” you nodded. The man in front of you chuckled at that and you arched an eyebrow questioningly.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Nothing, it’s just…not too often that I have something from my childhood in common with someone else these days,” he answered.

Your heart squeezed with compassion for the soldier in front of you, and without realizing what you were doing, you’d rested your hand on his shoulder. You didn’t know what to say, but you knew what you wanted to; you wanted to tell him that you were sorry for what he went through, that you would never be able to understand what it had been like for him but that you knew it had to have been hard. For a second, you regretted ever feeling uncomfortable around him; hadn’t he proven his entire life that he just wanted to do what was right?

You said none of that, though, and after a second you let your hand slide down to your side.

“I’ll have that essay ready for you next week,” you promised him, and with that you turned and left the room, not even feeling the weight of his stare on your back as you retreated.

For several moments, Steve just stood there, glaring at the spot you’d been standing in and feeling himself fall for you even more. Because even though you hadn’t said any of what you’d been thinking, he was able to read it all in your eyes.

______

You’d missed your study session with Tina that week again; for the next several days, when you weren’t working on homework for your other classes, you were working on your essay. You didn’t know why you felt such a sudden need to do well on it; something in you just couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing Steve. Plus, you’d never before written about your feelings on the Battle of New York and what it had meant to you.

Even though Steve had said the word limit was 1,500, your final essay clocked in over 3,000 words, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to shorten it. You’d dedicated an entire week to making it perfect, and you finally got to the point where you didn’t want to change a single word.

When that fateful Thursday came around, you gave Steve a bright smile as you set your stapled essay onto his desk. Judging from the pile of papers resting on it, you hadn’t been the only one to apply for the internship, but you didn’t feel nervous about your odds; either you got in or you didn’t. You were content knowing you’d done your best.

“You seem like you’re in a good mood,” Steve noticed, and you winked, actually fucking winked, at him, wondering a second later why you’d even done such a thing.

“I’m just happy to be done with that essay,” you confessed, continuing on to your seat. “I spent all week perfecting it.”

Steve grinned, knowing for a fact that you were telling the truth. He’d kept an ever-so-diligent eye on you since your last conversation, watching as you typed away on your laptop ceaselessly, feeling satisfied to know that all your work was for him. His heart soared this morning to see you so happy, and he’d felt butterflies, actual goddamn butterflies, in his chest when you’d winked at him.

Class went by as usual, closing off with a list of chapters to be read and homework to be completed before the next class. In fact, the rest of your day went by uneventfully, and the only thing out of the ordinary came in the form of an email on Friday morning.

You were standing in your kitchen, just wearing your most comfy pair of sweatpants and a tank top, sipping some coffee when you heard your phone ding with a notification. Opening up the email, you felt yourself gulp so fast that your coffee burned your throat as you read it.

Dear (Y/N),

Good morning! I know that this is last minute, but would you be willing to come see me in my office today at 11 am? I would like to discuss your essay with you. I’m in the C Building, third floor, Room 212.

Sincerely,

Steve Rogers

You looked up to the clock on your microwave and cursed when you saw what time it was – 10:34. You set your coffee down so quickly that some of it spilled on your pants as you rushed to your room, throwing on some jeans and a cream cable knit sweater before rushing to gather your phone, keys, and wallet. It usually only took you ten minutes to get to campus from your apartment, but the C Building was basically on the other side of the continent from student parking.

You sped in your tiny, beat up car all the way to your college, power walking to the administrative building while huffing and puffing; this was the most exercise you’d gotten in a while, what with your busy schedule.

After an agonizingly slow elevator ride, you reached the third floor and glanced at your phone as you passed by several offices – it was 10:58. You felt your lips spread into a grin.

When you finally reached room 212, you hesitantly rose your fist to knock on its door, but before you could make contact it was opened from the inside. Steve looked down at you with a smile as you jumped.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to surprise you,” he said sheepishly. “I heard you walking up the hall.”

“…Super hearing?” you guessed, and he nodded bashfully.

He gestured for you to follow him into the room, your nose immediately flooded with the scent of something delicious. Your eyes fell on two bags from your favorite café on campus, and you could distinctly make out the smell of their turkey bacon wafting up from within.

“I hope you don’t mind that I got some food for us,” he said, settling into the cushy office chair placed on the side of the desk opposite to you. “I know you haven’t eaten yet, and all I’ve had was coffee-“

“How?” you interrupted him, feeling that old coil of unease wrap itself around you. “How did you know I haven’t eaten yet, that is?”

Steve’s lips parted and his eyes widened for a split second after you’d asked, but he quickly schooled his features back into something more neutral.

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled. “I shouldn’t have said that I knew you hadn’t eaten; it was just a guess. I’m assuming I was right?”

You warily nodded, slowly walking over to the chair he had situated in front of his desk. The door behind you was still cracked open, something that helped comfort you enough to reach into the nearest bag and pull out a to-go box.

“I got you some turkey bacon and a cheese biscuit,” he said as you opened the package up. “And there’s some blueberry muffins in the other bag if you’d like any.”

Your hands trembled as you took a bite of your bacon; it was the exact same order you usually got for breakfast.

You were so focused on swallowing your bite of food that you jolted when you heard the man in front of you clear his throat. Your head popped up to see him watching you with an expectant face, tapping his fingertips on the desk beneath him.

“U-um…” you stuttered, not sure of what he was expecting you to do or say.

“It probably shouldn’t bother me, but… Back in my day, we thanked people when they got us something,” Steve shrugged, trying to pass off his words as nonchalant. You could see the way his fists were clenched, though, and it made your heartbeat quicken.

“Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry,” you exclaimed. “I, um… Thank you, Steve. For breakfast.”

Your cheeks were on fire, and you felt your palms getting sweaty as you set down your piece of bacon; maybe you weren’t so hungry after all.

Steve, though, just smiled gently and dug into the matching box of food he had placed before himself.

“It’s ok, doll,” he hummed. “Bad manners are just a pet peeve of mine. Go ahead and eat.”

The food felt like cardboard against your teeth as you hesitantly obeyed, still uncomfortable from how Steve had just spoken to you. You began to squirm in your chair as the minutes ticked on, the only sounds in his office coming from your quiet eating. Finally, when you couldn’t take it anymore, you cleared your throat and spoke so quietly that Steve probably wouldn’t have been able to hear you if not for his advanced hearing.

“So, um… In your email you mentioned my essay?” you asked, sitting up straighter. “Did you want to talk with me about it today?”

He smiled and set down the muffin he’d been working on, leaning his elbows against his desk and looking at you with a gleam in his eyes.

“That’s right, (Y/N),” he answered, his face so bright and excited that it was almost easy to forget how harsh his tone had been just a minute ago. “I wanted you to be the first to know that you got the internship.”

You blinked a few times, feeling surprised despite how hard you’d worked on your essay.

“Really?” you asked, slowly starting to smile again. “I did?”

“Of course,” Steve insisted. “Your essay was the best out of the bunch; it’s obvious that you want to be a writer.”

“Thank you so much, sir,” you said, hurrying to say so after what had happened the last time you hadn’t been grateful for his kindness. “That…means a lot.”

“Well, it’s true,” he assured you. “And now you get to know what the internship actually is; I know you were curious about it yesterday.”

You nodded eagerly, watching as he leaned back in his chair.

“A few months ago, I decided that I wanted to write an autobiography,” he began, thumbs twiddling in his lap. “I’ve never been much of a writer, but I figured that it would be nice to try and put my story down on paper. And I thought that it would be a great idea to go back to Brooklyn, where I grew up, and write down what’s changed about it and what’s the same as a sort of opening for the first chapter of my book.

“That’s where you come in,” he added, pointing to you before setting his hands on his desk. “I wanted to go back to Brooklyn with someone who grew up in this century, someone who could help me take notes on that part of the city and who I could bounce ideas off of. After all, most of my readers would be people who have no clue about what the 40’s were like. I’d need someone to hear my ideas and tell me if they’re relevant and if they’d appeal to folks these days.”

Your head was already turning with ideas on how he could link his past to his present in the beginning of his novel; the writer in you was salivating that the idea of this project, and you opened your mouth to tell Steve that you’d take the position.

But then you hesitated, slowly closing your mouth again as you looked at the man seated across from you. You remembered every time he’d made you uncomfortable, every doubt you’d had about him, every time he’d made you squirm under his penetrative gaze. Would you be able to work with him one on one without feeling so nervous around him?

“I’m…flattered that you think I’m a good fit for the job,” you started out, “And this is such an amazing opportunity, but… Um, would we the alone in Brooklyn or would there be other people with us?”

Steve’s brows furrowed; clearly, he hadn’t expected that question.

“Why would it matter?” he asked, voice hard as steel.

“Well, I just… I wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong i-idea, you know?” you stammered. “I wouldn’t want them to think-“

“No one would know,” he interrupted. “For obvious reasons, this project is being kept strictly confidential. You would have to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we left.”

Your doubt must have read on your face, because Steve’s face softened, and he slowly stood up, walking around to stand in front of your chair.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he said softly. “You know you don’t have to worry about me, right? I understand that you can be…shy, but think of this as a week off! I’ve already talked to the school board, and your absences with your other classes won’t be counted against you. We’ll go to the city, take our notes, maybe even have a little fun.

“Whatya say?”

You sighed and let your head droop, looking down to your clenched hands as they rested in your lap. You liked his words; they were kind and considerate, but they didn’t reach his eyes. No, they were dark, a stormy gray-ish blue as he watched you intently.

“I… I’m still not sure,” you murmured weakly. “Could I have some time to-“

“It’s a paid internship,” Steve interrupted you, his voice just barely edging to desperate. “And I would let you write the Forward to my novel. Think about it, (Y/N) – your name on the cover of ‘Captain America’s’,” he rolled his eyes at the name, “autobiography. You’ll be able to have any job you want when you graduate. A guaranteed successful start to your career.”

You paused at that, eyes widening at the thought; he had a point. You’d be a famous writer even before the beginning of your writing career. And your bank account was laughable at the moment; you only had a part-time job at the college library, and it definitely didn’t pay much.

Your head tilted up and your eyes met Steve’s, and he was wearing a smile that spoke volumes; he knew what you were going to say even before you said it.

“I’ll do it.”

_______

Steve let out a soft grunt as he came, his hand finally stilling on his cock before he tucked it back into his pants. You’d left his office hours ago, but his mind hadn’t stopped thinking of you since you’d said those three little words. He was coming close to the end of his plan; his reward was so close now. He could practically taste it – taste you.

He wasn’t happy that he’d had to bribe you, of course. He hated the idea that you were just saying yes because of the money and success he could offer you. But if that’s what it took to make you his, then he would do it. It was worth it for your future children, for your future life.

Letting out a soft sigh, he stood up, putting in his airpods and selecting his favorite app on his phone. With a press of a button, he could hear the sound of your soft humming as you turned the pages of your textbook. The camera in your living room showed you curled up on your couch, studying like the good little student you were. Soon you wouldn’t have to work so hard; Steve would give you everything you could ever want or need – a family, a house, a ring on your finger… He smiled at the thought.

He shoved his phone into his back pocket, keeping his airpods in so he could listen to the sound of your humming as background noise. He grabbed his keys and headed out, tucking his laptop under his arm as he started walking out of the building. The two of you would leave for New York in a week, and he had so many preparations to make. His back-up plan still needed to be put in order, though he hoped he wouldn’t have to use it with you.

You were different from all the others – sweet, obedient, smart… Whatever ended up happening, Steve knew that you would see things his way eventually. The two of you were meant to be, after all.

#precodechallenge #steve rogers #captain america imagine #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x reader #professor!steve #professor!steve rogers #non-con #stalking #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine

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fanficflaneuse · 5 years ago

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One Day - Part 12

Tags: @fandomscombine @okaydraco @naomi02hook @iliketoast23 @winnsmills @oldfashionedlovergirlsblog @happycomb @xtrashmouthxtozierx @hopplessdreamer @dracoxxyoflam @cleopatera @hess016

(Sentimental A/N at the end)

Draco x reader (she/her pronouns) Word count: 1587 Summary: One day AU. Post-war. Since The Battle of Hogwarts, Draco and y/n meet one day a year.

Masterlist

Enjoy!

3 May, 2012

Minerva McGonagall had decided that this year’s commemoration of the Battle of Hogwarts would be the best they would ever have. Those who attended had always made the it a very beautiful affair, yet it was, often than not, solemn and sad. Even if it felt like too much to ask for, the headmistress truly wanted the day to go be pleasant – a celebration of life rather than a remembrance of death.

The night of May the 2nd, Hogwarts opened its doors once again, this time for a feast. As the Great Hall filled with former students and other members of the wizarding community, excitement lingered in the air. It reminded McGonagall of the enthusiasm of first years. Everyone was dressed up in elegant robes, thrilled of reuniting with old friends and have – for once on this day – a good time.

Draco had never been to one of those ceremonies. Even when (Y/N) had insisted all of those years ago, he felt like it wasn’t his place to be. This year, though, he decided to go. He said it was for her, but in reality, there was a deeper longing to make peace with that place and the people he never had the chance to apologize to.

“We can leave whenever you get tired.” Even if he tried to hide it, the distress was evident in his voice.

(Y/N) gave him a reassuring smile. She knew that, even after the long process of recovery, he still worried about her. “You’re not backing up, love,” she teased.

He gave her a playful eyeroll in response. “We had a very intense day on that “adventure” with Scorp. I don’t even know why did I ever think that was a good idea. I don’t want you to strain yourself too much,” he said, holding her closer to him.

“You thought that was a good idea because you’re the best father ever,” she noted matter-of-factly, “and I’m not strained and we’re going to have a good time.”

“Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N) – Malfoy,” Headmistress McGonagall greeted them at the door.

(Y/N) smiled softly. After healer Malfoy had deemed her healthy for his standards, they had gotten married. It was a very intimate wedding with their closest friends and family in the gardens of Malfoy manor. They had adopted each other’s last name and made a point to be referred to as such.

“Where shall we seat, headmistress?” Draco asked.

“Wherever you see fit. No houses today,” she answered excitedly.

As they entered to the Great Hall, the couple was greeted with hugs and cheers. If someone had told eighteen years old Draco he’d have such a reception in his alma mater, he would’ve laughed. Through the years, though, most people had changed their perceptions of him. He was healer Malfoy, who would stay afterhours if it meant some comfort to his patients. He was the Malfoy heir who’d hand out donations for different charities without ulterior motives. He was a friend to a lot of his former “enemies”. He was Scorpius’ proud father and (Y/N)’s loving husband. Draco had finally redeemed himself and could walk through Hogwarts with his head high, even if it triggered some very unhappy memories.

Hermione was the first one to spot them. She waved at them and soon they were surrounded by the Potter-Granger-Weasley clan on the far end of the Ravenclaw table. (Y/N) spotted Luna and Rolf Scammander on the same table, as well as Hannah and Neville and Pansy, Blaise and Daphne. On the other side of the room, from the Slytherin table, Astoria and Theo smiled at them. From the Hufflepuff table, Ernie waved at her. He was sitting with Cho, Justin and Susan. She also spotted Seamus with his husband Dean, talking to the Parvati twins and Lavender Brown. (Y/N) felt like she was living one of those happy endings from the muggle movies they would occasionally watch. Sitting by her husband, surrounded by her friends, no fear and nothing but good news on their way. It was all a bit unreal, in the best possibly way.

By midnight, Harry and Headmistress McGonagall had delivered the speeches, they drank a toast to the fallen and the feast was already over. People were already leaving and those who remained were laughing and remembering their days at Hogwarts.

“Come with me,” Draco whispered in (Y/N)’s ear.

“Where?”

“Trust me,” he answered with a smirk.

They said goodbye to their friends and left the Great Hall. (Y/N) thought they would apparate back home, but Draco surprised her by pulling her towards the stairs. Her smile grew wide as she realized they were on the fourth floor and walking towards that windowsill that marked their lives forever.

They stood there, quietly for a second. Draco then climbed on it and opened his arms for her. (Y/N) chuckled before sitting with him. His embrace was gentler than ever. He had always treated her with care, but after the assault it had become ten times more delicate. As their limbs tangled together, as they did every day now, (Y/N) remembered more than ever that day fourteen years ago.

…

“Draco!” Narcissa’s voice was firm, but loaded with fear.

“Son, where are you?” Lucius seemed desperate.

Draco and (Y/N) were watching the sunrise, cuddling together. He was playing with one of her locks. At the sound of the voices he could distinguish very well, they – very much unwillingly – untangled their stiff limbs. He climbed down the windowsill and she stretched her arms. He found her adorable and for a second there he couldn’t believe they had snuggled all night long.

They looked at each other, like recognizing themselves for the first time. Draco thought that he might find rejection in her eyes, but he only found tenderness. And tenderness he gave back. (Y/N) was overwhelmed by such a strange mix of feelings. There she had the one and only Draco Malfoy, resident bully and death eater, smiling to her, watching her as though she was the most precious woman on earth. She felt like she should hate him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. One night of caresses and silent conversations had given her a whole new perspective on Draco and she wanted more of it.

As the voices came nearer, (Y/N) moved her hand to his hair. She smoothed it. Her touch was appeasing.

“Hey, Malfoy,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face.

“Yes?”

“I don’t hate you.” It sounded stupid once she said it, but it was also liberating somehow.

He smiled genuinely. “I don’t hate you too, (Y/L/N)”.

Soon, the elder Malfoys found the two teenagers holding hands. Narcissa eyed them carefully. Hadn’t she been so worried about Draco’s wellbeing, she would’ve smiled at such a heartwarming scene.

“Draco, let’s go,” Lucius called, his voice wavering.

Draco stood up straighter. He nodded subtly at (Y/N) and walked to his parents, ready to leave. The three Malfoys disappeared down the corridor, leaving (Y/N) to deal with the butterflies in her stomach. She turned around to face the sunrise again, wondering what she’d say to her friends.

As Draco walked with his parents, he couldn’t conceal the smile on his face.

“Who is she?” Lucius asked.

“She’s just a friend,” he answered, trying to be nonchalant.

“Yeah, just a friend,” Narcissa teased.

Draco stopped on his tracks. His parents looked at him, mocking smiles on their faces.

“Wait a minute, okay?” He hadn’t finished saying this and his feet were already taking him back to (Y/N).

“Hey! Long time no see,” she taunted as he stood, once again, in front of her.

“Would you give me your address? To owl you?” he asked hesitantly.

It warmed her heart to see him so disarmed and clumsy. She conjured paper and a quill out of thin air and copied her address. They looked at each affectionately. Draco leaned forward, their noses almost touching.

“Are we friends?” he blurted out. He cringed inwardly at how desperate that must have sounded.

(Y/N) closed the gap between them. It was a little awkward and incredibly sweet, just their lips touching, moving in synch at a very slow pace. (Y/N)’s hand travelled to his cheek, his fingers crawled to her hair. (Y/N) smiled into the kiss as she felt electricity running around them. Draco’s heart was about to leap off his chest.

When they pulled away, Draco pecked her lips softly a couple of times again until she giggled.

“Friends,” (Y/N) agreed happily.

…

“So, we really had our first kiss right here,” Draco said in awe.

“Are we friends?” (Y/N) mocked.

He placed a kiss on her temple. “Merlin, I don’t know, darling. What do you think?” his dashing smile warmed (Y/N)’s heart.

“Well, honey, I really hope we are. I don’t want to be running the (Y/L/N) – Malfoy quidditch team on my own,” she said. This was definitely not the way she wanted to break the news to him, but she figured it was more in their style.

It took Draco no time to register what she had said. He looked at her wide-eyed, completely at a loss for words.

“Seriously?” he asked, happy tears welling his eyes.

(Y/N) nodded vigorously. “No, no tears, my love. We’re very happy today,” she said as she sat up to caress both of his cheeks.

“I’m so happy, (Y/N),” he whispered and gently brought his hand to her belly.

They were soon cuddling again, waiting for the sunrise and feeling pure unaltered bliss.

A/N: This is the end. I hope you liked it! I really couldn’t kill reader, movie be damned. If you’ve reached this far, I really want to thank you. Thank you all for giving me love and support, for reading, liking, rebloging and commenting. Thank you for being kind to me.

My birthday is on Thursday (6 days after Draco omg) so I think I’ll be taking the rest of the week for myself and start posting again over the weekend. If anyone wants me to tag them in my next endeavours (a Draco x reader mini series from a request, a Draco x reader one shot and a Theo x reader one shot) just tell me!

My inbox is open for messages, requests, rants and any conversation you want to have.

Lastly, I’d like to say two things:

1. Trans women are women. We can enjoy the Harry Potter’s books, make sense of them whichever way we want them to, but we cannot take the authorship from J.K. Rowling. We must realize who she is and why she wrote what she wrote.

2. Black lives matter

Have a happy day and a happy life.

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antialiasis · 5 years ago

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Jesus Christ Superstar: all of my thoughts

Allll right, this will be me watching my way through Jesus Christ Superstar 2012 (the arena tour with Tim Minchin/Ben Forster) and rambling about e v e r y t h i n g as I go, prompted by me having a lot of thoughts approximately every two minutes while watching it on YouTube/rewatching it/listening to multiple other JCS productions in between. Unusually for me, there will be very little complaining. This production is not perfect but that's not really what I'm here to talk about right now, shush, let me just go on about why I love this musical, at incredible length.

(I will be talking both about particulars in this production and about JCS in general as a narrative, without explicitly distinguishing the two, but please rest assured I do know which is which. I am pretty hardcore, I have seen five different productions live (including the 2013 leg of the arena tour) as well as the movies, listened to a lot of different Gethsemanes, I know this show.)

(this will also jump wildly between deep intellectual analysis and just me shamelessly appreciating the whump content, please bear with me)

can I start off by saying I really love the band and instrumentation and arrangements in 2012

The JCS overture is really long but I love it and it's always fun to see exactly what they do with it when it's staged. This production goes with showing Jesus's followers as protesters clashing with police, following news headlines, and then, during the calm choral "betrayal leitmotif", they're all gathered around Jesus staring at him in the most ominous way - then, as the first notes of "Heaven On Their Minds" play, Jesus closes his eyes and shakes his head a little, as if snapping out of a thought - as if he just felt the coming of betrayal. Neat.

Anyway, "Heaven On Their Minds"! This is such a good song. When I first saw JCS, as my school's production in 2005, and it opened not with Jesus but with Judas, presenting these totally reasonable concerns that he has about Jesus, I was already so intrigued by where this was going. Judas is the actual protagonist of JCS; one of the main narrative things it's doing is telling these events largely from his point of view, imagining how what he did might be interpreted to be sympathetic and understandable. This is why he gets the opening number and the final proper song with the show's closing musings. If you put on JCS and treat it like it's a story about Jesus with Judas as a side character, you're doing it wrong.

The iconic opening riff of “Heaven On Their Minds” is what I’m calling the “Agony” motif in my musical motif chart, because the places it recurs are the moment Judas resolves to hang himself in “Judas’s Death” and... “The 39 Lashes”. Originally I connected it to Judas, but “The 39 Lashes” has nothing at all to do with Judas; instead, the one thing that connects these three occurrences of the motif is pain - which really rather underlines how painful it is when Judas’s mind clears and he sees what lies ahead.

So, Judas: he was one of Jesus's closest friends, and a real, true believer in what this movement was originally about: charity, compassion, noble ideals. But lately, he's seen it turn into more of a cult of personality around Jesus himself - you've begun to matter more than the things you say. Now they're all thinking Jesus is the messiah, the Son of God - and worse, it's like Jesus is starting to believe it himself.

(Tim Minchin does this little frustrated eyeroll on you really do believe this talk of God is true, and I love it. I know his vocal performance is not to everyone's taste, and I get why especially with the unwarranted autotuning on the official recording, but I just love his actual acting here, his expressions and body language, so much. I was watching him for most of the show when I saw this live, because I usually spend most of JCS looking for whether Judas is doing something interesting in the background, and it was choice. Unfortunately the editor for this official recording isn't quite as interested in what Judas is doing in the background as I am, alas, and there are a lot of bits where I'd like to get a better look at him but we don't, but there are still some very good reactions.)

So, the reason this is bad, this whole messiah thing, is not only that calling Jesus their king might rub the authorities the wrong way, but also that now they're all expecting Jesus to up and free them from Roman oppression. Which is just not a thing that he can do! Judas is worried if Jesus doesn't deliver his followers will turn against him (and they'll hurt you when they find they're wrong). He's worried if Jesus actually does try anything, or heaven forbid, his followers just do it on their own - Jesus's words are already being taken out of context and twisted to justify whatever the speaker feels like - if they step so much as a toe over the line, that'll be all the excuse the Romans need to regard the Jewish community as a whole as violent insurgents or a delusional cult and bring in the army. This movement used to be a beautiful thing, but it's become an existential threat with the potential to get them all killed. And - when Judas tries to voice these concerns, Jesus brushes them off. He won't listen. Things are spiraling out of control, and Jesus won't do anything about it.

(Note, by the way, that a big part of Judas's worries is worries about Jesus in particular getting hurt.)

(Judas is very focused here on the future, all these things looming on the horizon that could happen if things continue as they are - so when we transition abruptly into the upbeat "What's the Buzz?", where Jesus tries to get his followers to think less about the future and more about the here and now, for all that it feels like a musical and textual non-sequitur we're actually kind of staying on theme.)

Jesus hasn't been doing anything about things or listening to Judas, and is very focused on the here and now, because as it happens he knows (or at least believes) that in a few days he is going to be tortured and executed, and really he doesn't entirely know what's going to happen after that, and this is pretty terrifying and stressful and right now he's dealing with that by trying to not think about it.

Why are you obsessed with fighting times and fates you can't defy? He basically means this at this point. Why would you try to fight inevitable fates? That’s pointless; it’s not like Jesus would ever do that. You just don’t think about them. Jesus is fine. It’s fine. This is fine.

(Mary is the one person who’s actively helping Jesus take his mind off things and stay in the moment. Emotionally he really needs to just relax and think of nothing and be told everything's all right, and Mary's the person who provides that. She alone has tried to give me what I need right here and now. I contend that this is the main point of Mary's role in the first act of JCS, more than her infatuation with him.)

Buuuut of course Judas has no idea what's behind this. As far as he can tell Jesus is just kind of hypocritically wasting his time on hedonistic indulgence, like the whole Son of God thing's just gone to his head, and like everything else about the situation, it's concerning, and he tries to speak out about it, in “Strange Thing, Mystifying”...

...which prompts Jesus to lash out. There was a sort of frustration behind some of his lines in “What’s the Buzz”, but he still just seemed to be preaching a general philosophy of staying in the here and now. At Judas’s criticisms, though, he's defensive and confrontational, exhorting him to not throw stones... and he's not done: I'm amazed that men like you can be so shallow, thick and slow! There is not a man among you who knows or cares if I come or go!

That's a total strange overreaction, especially since he starts out addressing Judas but then goes on to "There is not a man among you", when nobody else was saying anything, much less anything implying they don't care about Jesus. So, obviously, this isn't really about what Judas just said. What this is showing us is that Jesus has a lot of pent-up frustrations and concerns, too, and he's in a strangely delicate mood. It's kind of an odd sequence watching it for the first time; this lashout is weird! I thought it was weird when I first saw the show! But that’s the point. It’s here because it is weird, because Jesus is not as fine as he seems.

(This is what almost every song with Jesus in it in Act I is about. It's a series of incidents - many of them based on actual bits from the Bible - of Jesus lashing out unexpectedly and/or being strongly disillusioned with his followers and vaguely, bitterly alluding to his upcoming death. The weight of anticipating his own execution is taking a real psychological toll on him from the start, and this is all building towards where all those fears and doubts and worries and anger come out in "Gethsemane". It took me the longest time to properly notice this, that Jesus isn't just sort of being a drama queen out of nowhere here; these events are being presented like this to connect them into a cohesive speculative narrative that this was all just manifestations of Jesus's anxiety about the fact he believes he's going to die in a few days and he's not sure what he's really accomplished.)

While the apostles join together in a chorus of No, you're wrong! You're very wrong!, Judas silently pulls out a cigarette, because 2012 Judas smokes to calm his nerves and I love it. The nerves don't stop him rolling his eyes again in the background at Jesus's Not one of you!, though. (Jesus has probably been having these weird, oddly self-pitying lashouts for a little while now - it feels like a "this again" sort of eye-roll.)

Judas tries again to confront Jesus during "Everything's Alright", even more emphatic, but in a more sincere and genuine way - he really wants to get through to him. No, seriously, Jesus, why are you wasting expensive ointment on your feet and hair when the poor are starving - you know, the thing this movement was supposed to be about. Mary, probably a bit higher in emotional intelligence than Judas, can obviously tell that Jesus is just pretty stressed out right now and really needs some rest, and basically just tries to get Jesus to ignore him until he goes away - but Jesus responds to him anyway. Starts calm, but there's an oddly defeatist quality to what he's saying - there’ll always be poor people, we can't save them, look at the good things you've got... and then he launches into another bitter lashout: Think while you still have me, move while you still see me - you’ll be lost, you'll be so, so sorry, when I'm gone. Strike two on Jesus-is-not-as-fine-as-he-seems.

(Seriously, though, at this point it'd be reasonable to be pretty alarmed; from an outside perspective, these lines sound kind of suicidal. Perhaps that’s why Mary immediately steps in again to try to calm him down.)

Meanwhile, Judas silently backs off. What he takes away from these two confrontations is that Jesus isn't really happy either. He's not actually thrilled with his followers or what’s going on; he just seems to feel helpless and unable to change anything at all, and has apparently just resigned himself to it, instead of even trying to fix it.

I love how gloriously ominous the "Hosanna Superstar" bit of "This Jesus Must Die" is. It really makes this upcoming cheerful song sound like an omen of doom and horror, the way it feels to the Pharisees. It’s the same melody as “We need him crucified” in “Trial Before Pilate” - apt, since the crowd’s devotion to Jesus is the real problem that causes the Pharisees to believe they need to get him killed.

Thus, the Pharisees have basically the same concerns Judas does - Jesus's mass of fans is growing out of control, they're blasphemously insisting he's their king, and it's only a matter of time before this brings the wrath of the Romans down upon the entire Jewish nation. They only go a bit further by believing the only way to properly quash this movement is to put Jesus to death. (Which is kind of dubious - surely there's a danger that martyring him will just make people more devoted - but I appreciate that they, too, get basically sympathetic motivations. It’s the oppression of the Romans that’s the real enemy here; they only see Jesus as a real problem because of how the Romans might react.)

By "Hosanna", Jesus has recovered his usual composure and passion. This is the one Jesus song where he does genuinely seem to be doing all right, and in that way it serves as a good contrast to literally everything else in this musical. In it we see a glimpse of the preacher and activist that he’s been for these three years, almost bursting with glee as he tells the Pharisees they're not going to be quiet at all thank you very much. He preaches his message to the crowd: There is not one of you who cannot win the Kingdom - a kind, positive echo of yesterday's angry lashout. He loves this, and he still loves this movement. This is what it's all supposed to be about.

...only, of course, for some people to yell "Hey, J.C., J.C., won't you die for me!", and he turns his head, his smile fading just a little (I wish the camera stayed on him a little while longer here). But he recovers and carries on. Ha ha, yeah, he'd die for you.

Jesus's own rally leads directly into Simon's rave, full of adoring fans begging Jesus to touch and kiss them. Same enthusiasm, but more obviously a product of that cult of personality that Judas was worried about. And there in the middle of it is Simon, so bright-eyed and enthusiastic about the whole thing, telling him about how with his probably over 50,000 followers, he should add just a smidge of hatred towards the Romans, and you will rise to a greater power, we will win ourselves a home! He's one of those who want Jesus to be leading a violent revolution to free them.

I like how the first portion of "Poor Jerusalem" echoes a slow, somber version of the same melody as "Simon Zealotes" as Jesus laments, almost to himself, that none of them, nobody at all, understands power, or glory, or anything. This time Jesus isn't really angry, just kind of exhausted and contemplative. Nobody really seems to get his message; these poor misguided people won't get the revolution they're hoping for; Jerusalem itself is doomed. The city wouldn't be willing to do what's needed even if they knew.

To conquer death, you only have to die is one of my favorite lines. I’m an atheist, but as a kid I remember being taught at the Christian summer camp I went to that by dying himself, Jesus conquered death. That idea is twisted and presented the other way around here: to conquer death, you only have to die. Only. An darkly ironic presentation of it as if it were easy. It’s not as easy as Jesus would like it to be - but he truly believes that it’s what he must do.

"Pilate's Dream" has the same melody as the second half of “Poor Jerusalem” - because both Jesus and Pilate are contemplating an unsettling future that they have seen.

I do think it's a little wrong that 2012 Pilate chuckles at the end of "Pilate’s Dream”, though. The whole point of this song, as far as I can tell, is that he's unsettled by this dream, and it's probably part of why he's so reluctant to sentence Jesus to death later, so I think it's an incongruous choice to make it seem like he just sort of brushed it off as nonsense.

As I mentioned before, the arena tour staging includes Simon buying a gun during "The Temple", a really chilling detail that I liked a lot and that is in no way discernible in the official recording. Maybe the editor didn't notice, maybe it just wasn't very clear in the footage they got anyway, maybe it's some sort of ratings issue where showing a gun for a few seconds would just be too much (while the lengthy, brutal torture and execution scenes coming up are totally fine). Obviously it doesn't mean anything for the later narrative or anything (especially since the actual narrative is taking place in 33 AD and guns don't actually exist, regardless of the staging choices of any particular production), but it’s a nice way of using staging to lend further support to the overall point of how Jesus's followers variously fail to understand his teachings - it strengthens both Jesus’s and Judas’s concerns.

When Jesus and Judas arrive at the temple, they're arguing once again, though we don't know what about. Given the way Jesus is striding towards the doors and Judas is trying to hold him back, I imagine Judas is worried that doing something like running into the temple and breaking tables and screaming is the sort of attention-grabbing, polarizing stunt that'd be a really bad idea, and Jesus is upset and doesn't care.

(The bouncer doesn't let Judas in. I'm guessing Jesus tells him Judas is harassing him or something, within the staging-narrative where the temple is a nightclub that has a bouncer.)

So Jesus goes and smashes a table and yells at everyone to get out. This is probably where Jesus begins to alienate a lot of people, who were having a great time at the temple only for him to come in and have a breakdown at them.

(He's so angry, breathing hard, fists clenched after everyone's left. This isn't really about the temple either. He's really begun to realize how many of his followers don't get it at all, and he doesn't have time to fix that. He's been trying for so long and he's so tired.)

The leper bit makes a pretty similar point. Jesus wants to help all these people, and tries - but there are too many, and they're crowding him, and he's not going to be around to help them for much longer - so he desperately tells them to heal themselves, and they leave, probably thinking wow Jesus is kind of a jerk.

I'm sorry, I don't have anything to say about "I Don't Know How to Love Him", love ballads are pretty consistently my least favorite song in every musical, I like and appreciate Mary but my investment in this song pretty much begins and ends with its role in setting up the twisted reprise in "Judas's Death"

I enjoy the fourth-wall-leaning audacity of having the guitarist spotlighted on stage playing the solo before "Damned For All Time", and Judas is looking at him like "who are you, go away", and keeps looking evasively back at him while he's slowly getting the Pharisees' number out of his wallet and calling it. (It also helps show Judas feels pretty guilty and shameful about doing this, and works better for that than having extras on stage - if it were extras, we might expect that them witnessing this could actually mean something later, but when it's the guitarist, it's obvious he's just serving as an anonymous stand-in for a hypothetical random stranger who isn't literally part of the story.)

I like the shot of Judas looking into the security camera outside the Pharisees' building. (That’s decidedly not the same hairdo Tim Minchin has on stage, though.)

Judas opens his talk with the Pharisees, without even greeting them first, by frantically justifying himself, talking about how this is weird and hard for him but there was just nothing else he could do, he's not hoping for a reward or anything, he's been forced to do this, he's not a dirty traitor, please don't think that. He really doesn't want to be here. But here he is anyway, because Jesus can't control it like he did before - and furthermore I know that Jesus thinks so too, Jesus wouldn't mind that I'm here with you. He's seen Jesus over the past few days and he's pretty sure he has this figured out. Jesus can see just as well as he does where things are headed - it's just he's helpless to control it and doesn't know what to do about it. So this has to be done. He'd probably want Judas to bail him out of this, just get him arrested and the movement shut down, for everyone's sake. (Jesus is so self-sacrificing, after all.) Right? He'd be fine with this. Right? (Judas is fine.)

("Damned For All Time" is just Judas wildly word-vomiting trying to placate his own guilt and I love it. He's legitimately afraid of where things are headed if he doesn't do this, and thinks it has to ultimately be the right thing, but that doesn't make him feel any better about it.)

(I like how Caiaphas just sort of coolly listens to him ramble his head off like this while he sips his drink.)

Judas goes for a cigarette again (calming those nerves), and Annas helpfully lights it for him - prompting Judas's next ramble. Annas, you're a friend, a worldly man and wise - Caiaphas, my friend, I know you sympathize. It's not like he's selling Jesus out to anyone unreasonable. Annas is nice! We three, we get it, right? You get it. We're the people who can see when a difficult thing just has to be done, did I mention I HAVE to do this and this is not about money - only for Annas to tell him to cut it out with this blather and excuses and just give them the information they want. And also, they'll pay him handsomely!

I don't need your blood money! Judas says, then I don't want your blood money! Sometimes these lines are reversed, which sounds better - there's something more satisfying about the vowel in need than in want - but I think textually this original order is important. First he's sort of polite-ish-ly declining, saying no, he doesn't need any money, but then when they insist, he declines more firmly, that he doesn't want it either. (I love the way he shoves Annas's hand away.) It's so important to Judas's own principles that he came here because he thinks it's right, not because he wants payment; the idea of being paid makes it way worse.

...But then Caiaphas grabs the cigarette out of his mouth (leaving him a bit shaken with nothing to hold onto anymore) and goes well, you can give it to charity, or to the poor; they understand that's not why he's doing this, but they'd still like to pay him a fee. And that's the reason he ultimately does take the money: because just a few days earlier he was telling Jesus off for letting money be wasted when it could have gone to the poor. How could he do the same?

(Judas is not doing this for the money in this show. He is not being tempted by the money. He was not going to take the money until he was told he could give it to charity. One of the professional live productions I saw just did not understand this at all, and no. Judas is the protagonist! He is not here for the money! It's done right here, with the Pharisees just throwing the money at him after he names Gethsemane, and him not even reacting, just slowly picking it up afterwards. Tim Minchin gets Judas.)

I like to think the Well done, Judas / Good old Judas chorus is sort of the voice of the Divine Plan, such as it is, which he's now done his first part in.

"The Last Supper" has slowly become one of my favorite parts of the entire show, and I particularly enjoy it in this particular production.

Judas walks in and doesn't look at Jesus at all - can't quite bear to, at the moment. Jesus looks after him, knowing exactly what's going on... and that's when he starts in on The end is just a little harder when brought about by friends.

Jesus has a drink of the wine, which I like a lot. This definitely is a drinking sort of moment. I like the idea of him being a little inebriated in this scene.

For all you care, this wine could be my blood. For all you care, this bread could be my body. The end... This is my blood you drink, this is my body you eat. Judas reflexively rolls his eyes again - Jesus off on one of these weird sorts of rants yet again. (As with so much, I love that Jesus Christ Superstar takes this bit of the Bible and lets it just be a weird thing to say, recontextualizes it as an empty, halfhearted statement that he doesn't feel like his followers even care hours before his impending arrest, instead of treating it as something profound and meaningful. Again and again, Jesus is portrayed less as a noble profound religious figure and more as just a person haunted by mounting dread and anxiety, and I love it so much.)

Jesus sort of tries to make this into a nice, comforting thing, to ask them to remember him when they eat and drink - but it doesn't work. It's happening tonight, and here they all are, these people, his supposed followers, who don't understand a thing he's said, ever, and Jesus just breaks. I must be mad, thinking I'll be remembered! Yes, I must be out of my head! Look at your blank faces! My name will mean nothing ten minutes after I'm dead! (Judas looks up vaguely, kind of concerned - Jesus, this is further than he usually goes.) One of you denies me, one of you betrays me! And that's when Judas really looks up. Jesus knows.

There's a pause, a commotion, and Jesus is going to just retreat and leave it at that - but no, then he keeps going. He calls out Peter specifically for being about to deny him three times, shoving him, and then yells about how one of my twelve chosen will leave to betray me! At which Judas finally stands up. Cut out the dramatics! You know very well who! It's obvious that somehow Jesus found out. (Maybe Judas thinks the guitarist might have told on him.)

Judas's surprised You want me to do it? when Jesus tells him to go do it delights me. Judas, I thought you knew that Jesus totally wanted you to do this. It's almost like you didn't really know that at all and just convinced yourself of that to feel better about it. (Obviously, though, Jesus clearly doesn't actually want it so much, does he, the way he's shouting.)

Judas tries to explain himself but Jesus doesn't care - he doesn’t want to hear about why one of his most trusted friends wants to betray him to the authorities, not when this has to happen and he can’t prevent it. Judas is really nervous and defensive and hurt by his hostility, declares he hates Jesus now. (You liar, you Judas! Jesus says, which is kind of hilarious and also - yeah, he's a liar, he doesn't hate Jesus at all.) You wanted me to do it? What if I just stayed here and ruined your ambition? Christ, you deserve it! Judas still kind of wants to just stay and cancel the whole thing, even if it's simply justified as petulant spite. But Jesus tells him to just go already; he just wants to get this over with, as quickly as possible, because it hurts.

Judas is near tears as he turns away to get his things. The apostles have no idea what's going on, singing, some of them trying to see if Judas is okay, which suggests they have no idea what they were even talking about - whatever this 'betrayal' is supposed to be, it doesn’t cross their minds that Judas is about to get Jesus arrested.

Judas trudges up the steps, batting them away, still on the verge of tears - only then he stops, his face changing. And he throws down his backpack and turns for one final confrontation with Jesus. You sad, pathetic man! Look what you've brought us to! Our ideals die around us, and all because of you! This is still about their ideals for him, after all. And yet, saddest of all, someone had to turn Jesus in - like a common criminal, he first says, but then, like a wounded animal, someone helpless to help themselves, who needs to be pitied and put out of their misery. Jesus could have done something. Jesus could have put a stop to this. Why does he have to do it? (Why does he have to do it?)

Every time I look at you, I don't understand why you let the things you did get so out of hand. You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned. Why? Jesus does have a plan, of sorts, of course - it's just that this is all part of it. Judas doesn't believe Jesus is actually the Son of God, or that he could possibly have a "plan" that involves dying for some grand cosmic cause. As far as he can tell Jesus's actions are just bizarre and pathetic and self-defeating, and he's been saddled with the unfortunate, dirty job of saving Jesus from himself.

(Judas presumably still doesn't realize that the Pharisees plan to literally have him killed. I doubt he'd be doing this, or at least not in this way, if he knew.)

In the wake of this final confrontation, Mary hugs Peter, who Jesus just shoved and accused of denying him. She considers going to Jesus too, but Peter convinces her they'd probably best leave it alone. Peter himself seems to be considering going to Jesus, but then doesn't. Everyone dejectedly goes to sleep. Jesus is alone for tonight, his apostles alienated, his right-hand man gone as Jesus must wait for him to return with soldiers and set the dreaded end in motion. This must be the loneliest, most awful night of his life.

Jesus rubs his hand hard against a stair as the apostles are finishing their song - an agitated fidget that I am far more fond of than I should be. As he realizes they've all gone to sleep, he grips it instead, something to hold on to. Will no one stay awake with me? Peter, John, James? He just sounds broken and like he's about to cry. Which is good. He sings all of Gethsemane sounding like he's on the verge of tears and that's exactly how it should sound, do not at me.

(Please bear with me as I go on about this Gethsemane because it's my favorite one ever at this point, haters to the left)

See, when I first saw this production (I saw the official recording once before I realized it was still on and I could see it live), I didn't really like Ben Forster's Jesus for the first half! He seemed sort of over-the-top and I wasn't the biggest fan of his voice and all in all I was ehhh on him. But then he did "Gethsemane" and I just felt it to my core in a way I'd never felt it before, and it floored me. I've watched and listened to a lot of versions of this song. There are better singers who make it more pleasant to listen to - but they tend to be very dignified and Jesus-y about it, like this poised religious figure just having a brief moment of vulnerability and emotionality. Even the performances specifically praised for being emotional tend to be the ones that just make it really angry. And I've seen a lot of great ones of both varieties! But Ben Forster just makes it so raw and human. Like this terrified, exhausted, desperate human being who's spent the entire preceding hour of this play dreading this thing that's coming, his resolve finally faltering in this moment of agonizing solitude as his doubts and fears and frustrations finally come pouring out, how much he wants to call the whole thing off, begging to either not have to do this or at least be properly convinced why he should. It's what made me properly start to look at Jesus's character progression during this story in the first place and notice all the buildup about his fragile mental state that's always been there in the lyrics. This is the “Gethsemane” that made me really, truly care about Jesus.

he's rubbing the stair again at the beginning of the song, I'm sorry I love fidgets and nervous gestures you guys

I've never heard anyone emphasize three years the way Ben Forster does, and the desperation of it hits me in the heart. Weren't these three years enough?

Let's talk about You're far too keen on where and how, and not so hot on why, which is pretty key to this show’s interpretation of Jesus. He and the Almighty are definitively not the same entity here; Jesus knows or believes he knows a lot of things about how this is all going to play out, and even some of the future beyond that (in "Poor Jerusalem"), but he doesn't actually understand what his death is supposed to accomplish. He knows that he's going to be crucified and it's going to happen because Judas betrays him and so on and so on, and that this is all supposedly very important, and Jesus has been willing to accept that without question, but really he doesn't know the whys here and never has, and as much as he's just never questioned it anyway because of his absolute conviction that this is God’s plan, he can't not do so now, when he's going to have to suffer an agonizing death in the service of these inscrutable goals, not sometime in the vague far future but soon.

(Technically, for all we know, Jesus isn’t the Son of God. God doesn’t answer him; the song is a monologue. Jesus has suspiciously specific knowledge of the future but that’s about it as far as actual concrete evidence of his divinity goes in this show. But what matters is that he believes this is what God wills.)

His initial All right. I'll die. Just watch me die! is so spiteful, only for the following lines to just turn into this anguished scream, and it kills me

I love the way he collapses on the stairs, and just finally breaks down and starts crying, and there's that agitated rubbing of the stair again

The second three years is just exhausted and my heart still breaks for it. These have been a hard three years. Seems like ninety.

Why then am I scared to finish is probably my favorite line in this. He just sounds so broken and desperate and actually scared, and his body language is so tense and agitated and desperate; he's so angry at himself for being scared when this has been the plan all along and for some reason now he just can’t seem to go through with it.

And then he has that realization. What I started? ...What you started. I didn't start it! This isn't his plan. He's just a cog in God's machinery. It's a fixed, unavoidable fate, isn't it? And he finds a kind of desperate acceptance in just thinking of it that way - at least for a moment (before I change my mind!). But it's a spiteful acceptance. He's addressing God now. I will drink your cup of poison, nail me to your cross and break me, bleed me, beat me, kill me, take me now! Because it's you who are doing this. It's your cross, you who are killing me. Note the contrast to earlier: Let them hate me, hit me, hurt me, nail me to their tree. It's not actually the people who are responsible for any of this, even if they’ll technically be the ones to do the deed; it's God's plan, his cross, his crucifixion.

I love how he looks so tense standing there afterwards while the audience is applauding, because he's not actually waiting for applause, he's waiting for the soldiers to arrest him and set him on the path to his execution. Arms spread at first, in a come at me sort of way, but then he just clenches his fists at his sides, eyes closed, still waiting.

There he is. They're all asleep, the fools. Implying Judas wouldn't have just gone to sleep, if he'd been left there. AU where Jesus has literally anyone to comfort him, instead of standing there alone desperately pleading to God to not have him killed. Hnngh.

The kiss is just as it is in the Bible, of course. But there, it's presented as a sort of extra nasty element of this betrayal, that he'd be betrayed with a kiss. Here, it's more like Judas just wants to say goodbye, one last time, and does it in this kind of tender way.

And... Jesus breaks down crying, clings to him, pulls him into a hug. Because of course he does. The reminder that Judas still cares, memories of everything they've been through together, and the knowledge this is probably his last chance at some kind of comforting human contact? Of course he does. He just wants to not be alone, for a few seconds, before the end.

At first Judas just sort of lets him do it, but by the time the soldiers come along to separate them, Judas is clinging to Jesus, too. Ohh, my heart.

The apostles wake up at the commotion and are immediately on their feet to fight off the soldiers. There is not a man among you who knows or cares if I come or go, Jesus said, a few days ago; now here they are, worrying for him, wanting to save him. But he has to stop them. He mustn't be saved, and they'd only get themselves hurt. Put away your sword - don't you see that it's all over? It was nice but now it's gone. That exhausted resignation.

Why are you obsessed with fighting? Stick to fishing from now on. He doesn't sound angry here - it's just kind of a gentle rebuke. He's touched that they tried. I like that he plays it that way; it'd be legit to make it angry, but in the context of how Jesus has spent a lot of time feeling like they don't really care at all and in this moment it finally becomes clearer to him that they do - not to mention that this is basically his final goodbye to them - it makes sense to let it be kind of tender.

From this point on, Jesus has to just quietly accept his fate. He's very silent, barely says anything - because now things just have to play out how they play out, and nothing he says will change anything, nor should change anything.

The reporters asking questions here (to the melody of "The Temple") are one of the relatively few major anachronisms baked into the actual lyrics as opposed to any particular production. They're not really reporters; it's kind of a representation of some of his previous followers watching this as a kind of spectacle, expecting him to make a dramatic escape or fight back, excited by what's happening (you'll just DIE in the high priest's house!), rather than sympathizing or caring. These are the people who are going to ultimately turn against him as a mob and pressure Pilate into crucifying him.

Caiaphas asks if Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus says That's what you say, yet another line based directly on the Bible. Growing up I always just found that kind of a silly thing for him to say - why won't he just stick to his story instead of suddenly acting like he never said such a thing? But it makes real sense here. Again, Jesus is resigned to his fate, to passively letting this happen. He's not going to deny it or try to get out of it, because he can't and mustn't. But he has no desire to speak up about how the rocks and stones will sing for him right now, or actively provoke them and give them more reasons to persecute him. He's just going to stand here and let things happen until it's over.

(also, he probably doesn't really feel so much like the Son of God right now)

Judas, thank you for the victim! Stay a while and you'll see him bleed! In this production, Caiaphas and Annas both say the last sentence together, but originally it's just Annas, which has always led me to feel that where Caiaphas is pure cold pragmatism and just believes this is what needs to be done for the sake of the nation, Annas is bit of a twisted son of a bitch. He's obviously intentionally twisting the knife here, because he thinks Judas's conflictedness about the whole thing is a bit pathetic and hilarious and likes to see him squirm.

(let me complain again about the editor not letting us see Judas's reaction to this line)

Peter's reluctance to throw his phone on the fire is a mood

also him threatening the homeless people with a broken bottle when they keep pressing him on whether he was with Jesus, before Mary takes it off him, is something I enjoy

Pilate and Christ probably takes place at Pilate’s gym in this staging to show Pilate hasn’t even made time for Jesus in an official capacity - he’s just being unexpectedly brought before him in his off time, hence why he’s particularly dismissive here.

Jesus barely looks at Pilate. Another dispassionate That's what you say.

How can someone in your state be so cool about his fate? An amazing thing, this silent king. Of course, Pilate doesn't understand any more than anyone else that Jesus being crucified is the plan. Again, Jesus is just letting this play out.

He does look up when Pilate declares he should go to Herod instead, though. It must be torture for him having this drawn out further. Poor Jesus, having to suffer through a comic relief number when he just wants to get this over with.

Jesus does look at Herod as he's making all these offers of letting him free if he'll just perform a miracle. It's got to be a tempting thought despite everything. But no, he must still sit there and let it happen.

"These results are for entertainment purposes only and do not reflect any real votes. The outcome is predetermined by the character of King Herod who clearly is going to find Jesus guilty of being a fraud otherwise it would be a very short Act 2." Going all the way with that fourth-wall-breaking.

the bit where they put the hood over Jesus's head sure hits some specific button I didn't realize I had

Judas there with his head buried in his hands in the background towards the end of "Could We Start Again Please" ohhhh

I feel like the usual implication with the abrupt opening of "Judas's Death" is that Judas has just been seeing Jesus being beaten, whereas here he's explicitly sitting there with the apostles contemplating what he's done and just gets up and freaks out when Caiaphas and Annas happen to walk by. I like him punching Caiaphas, but the way he just goes from zero to sixty there does feel a little weird. I don't care, though, Judas in the background during "Could We Start Again Please" is worth it.

For all that Judas is mortified by the way Jesus is being made an example of, he can also see the way his name will forever be associated with treachery, and none of his good intentions meant anything at all in the end. He’s wracked with guilt at what he’s done, but additionally all he can see in the future is being vilified and reviled, blamed for Jesus’s murder.

Ugh Annas kicking Judas while he's down he's such a bastard

Tim Minchin goes so all out on making "Judas's Death" just ugly anguished screaming and crying and I am so here for it.

Judas has never believed in the divinity of Jesus, but Jesus has some strange, intense, frightening quality that both Judas and Mary can feel, and just before his final breakdown, although Judas is telling himself that He's a man - he's just a man!, he seems to be starting to feel that that's not quite true: he starts to wonder if Jesus will leave him be after his death, and then right after the "I Don't Know How to Love Him" reprise is where his mental state takes a turn as he realizes God is behind all this, that perhaps the whole thing was planned.

The projecting images of Jesus' torment up onto the background screen as Judas is despairing is also very good - Jesus hasn't even been sentenced yet but he knows where this is headed and he sure is imagining it and feeling responsible for it.

Judas, like Jesus, concludes here that it's God who orchestrated all this and he never got a choice. In his case, though, it's serving as a way of running from his guilt. We got to hear all about his reasons for thinking this was the right thing to do, after all - it's not as if he was literally controlled into anything. He didn't realize he was dooming Jesus to a horrible death at the time, but he still did it of his own free will. And it isn't a real comfort - all it means is that in his final anguished moments he has someone to scream his despair at. You have murdered me!

(hang me from your tree)

the particular scream and sob that he does as he kicks the box out from under him hits my buttons very hard hhhh

Poor old Judas, so long, Judas, goes the Plan chorus. There's a pretty callous quality to that, appropriately enough for a very callous Plan involving a lot of suffering.

Please give my compliments to the sound designer who makes a point of turning on Jesus' microphone so we can hear his strained breathing before "Trial Before Pilate" begins

Jesus's resolve to say nothing of substance is breaking by this point, and he actually answers Pilate's "Where is your kingdom?" I have got no kingdom in this world, I'm through, through, through - there may be a kingdom for me somewhere, if I only knew. It's probably pretty hard to feel like he's headed for a triumphant resurrection right now, and the fact he's spilling those doubts to Pilate in a moment of frustrated honesty is pretty tragic.

(Some versions, including the 1973 movie, change this lyric to if you only knew. No! Bad! The whole point here is Jesus doubting it! If you want to change it you should not be putting on this show!)

Then he's a king? It’s what you say I am! I look for truth and find that I get damned! This frustration coming out here is so good.

Pilate's frustration is very good too - just dripping off every line. This mob of people insisting he sentence this harmless fool to death (one who reminds him uncomfortably of this dream that he had the other day), crowing about Caesar all of a sudden like they're oh so very concerned with protecting Caesar's authority.

As Jesus once again refuses to talk, there’s a brief mournful instrumental interlude before Look at your Jesus Christ - this is a slowed-down version of a bit of “Prescience”, the motif from “Pilate’s Dream”. He remembers that unsettling dream, consciously or unconsciously, and feels sympathy and pity for this strange man before him. After that is when he begins to argue that Jesus hasn’t committed any crime and there’s no reason to kill him.

can we appreciate that Webber and Rice went and made a song called "The 39 Lashes" that's literally just Pilate counting excruciatingly to 39 while Jesus screams in pain

can we also appreciate Jesus writhing on the floor after rolling down the stairs, Ben Forster really goes for it in acting out all this pain and torture and I love him for it

Why do you not speak when I have your life in my hands? asks Pilate, and Jesus just about musters the energy to say, You have nothing in your hands. Any power you have comes to you from far beyond - everything is fixed and you can't change it! He's kind of desperate to make Pilate understand this. Pilate keeps on trying to get Jesus to say something that'll let him release him, but that can't happen, because this must be so. Pilate needs to just play his part and get it over with, please get it over with.

And so, Pilate has to appease the mob and let him die, even though he doesn't want to at all, and tries to wash his hands of it. Much like in his dream, though, he'll in fact be remembered as the guy who sentenced Jesus to death. Clearly didn't wash your hands well enough, Pilate

It's such a delightfully bold creative decision to place an upbeat number like "Superstar" right here as Jesus is about to be crucified.

It's fascinating to see the differences in how this song in particular is staged; it's so abstract and disconnected that different directors really go nuts with it. Some productions, including the 2000 movie, imply Judas has come out of Hell to taunt him; the movie in particular makes a point of having Judas lazily, cruelly stand on the cross while Jesus is trying to carry it, grinning at his agony, surrounded by scantily clad demon women, though he has a moment of doubt and guilt as Jesus stares at him. (That movie generally posits Judas as not in control of his actions at all - so God is apparently basically just making him do this as part of his torture in Hell, which is delightfully twisted.) Others (including this one and the 1973 movie) have him among angels, as if he's descended from Heaven. In the 1973 movie Carl Anderson seems largely to just be singing it to himself - it cuts to Jesus carrying the cross a few times, but Judas isn't there.

Here, "Superstar" feels a bit like a delirious hallucination Jesus is experiencing. Judas descends on the stage lights that are about to form the cross (what an entrance) and performs the song surrounded by angels while Jesus is being affixed to the cross; they look at each other, but Judas doesn't really interact with him. There's definitely no taunting; Tim Minchin plays it in a very good-natured way, not even the kind of angry questioning of Carl Anderson in the 1973 movie. Effectively, despite the hallucinatory vibes, the way it comes across to me is Judas really is actually there in spirit, from a timeless afterlife, having had an eternity to think and come to terms with and understand what Jesus was doing - and finally just asking him some questions, without judgement. Is he what they say he is? What does he think about Buddha and Mohammed? Why didn't he choose a different time period where it would've been easier to spread his message? Did he know his death would inspire millions? It's all a sort of musing, fourth-wall-leaning modern perspective, not hostile, just curious.

Also this version just makes me happy because Judas seems happy and mentally at peace in the afterlife and who doesn't want that

Anyway, from that to Jesus crying on the cross. And I mean crying. Once again Ben Forster delivers the human suffering element of this story. "The Crucifixion" is a weird, weird song, chaotic and noisy and kind of offputting and tends to feel sort of inappropriate for the mood; in this production you don't even notice because the staging is so brutal. There's no cool symbolic dignity to this; Jesus is just crying and screaming and sobbing the whole time, yelling the disconnected final-words lines in an agonized, delirious haze. You actually believe you're watching a man dying in agony, God damn. It hurts and I love it.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? is the most gutwrenching line, of course. (And straight out of the Bible, lest we forget - I think it’s fascinating that in the likely oldest gospel of Mark as well as Matthew, this horrible, heartwrenching, human cry is all he says on the cross, while the gospels of John and Luke instead each feature their own disjoint sets of more profound-sounding sayings. It’s hard not to wonder if the other lines might be inventions by those gospels’ human authors or their sources, people who perhaps just didn’t want Jesus’s final words to be something so achingly desperate and vulnerable.) He's done all this to carry out God's great plan, and yet in this moment, in the middle of this nightmare of slow, unending agony, he feels certain that God has abandoned him and he's just dying, alone, pointlessly, for nothing. Ow, my empathetic heart.

You can hear him feeling death approaching at last and the relief he feels at that realization just before It is finished and Father, into your hands I commend my spirit

(it's easier to believe again when his suffering is finally, mercifully about to end)

Ben Forster also does a very good job not visibly breathing when he's playing a corpse. On this blog we appreciate the little things.

I've always found it pretty neat and interesting that Jesus Christ Superstar does not include the resurrection or any allusion to it at all; he just dies on the cross, they mourn and carry him away, and the show ends. Again, the only thing in this show that’s at all supernatural is that Jesus seems to know the future, and even that is fairly ambiguous. It's a story about human suffering, and it's a hugely compelling story without him rising from the dead at the end, which'd just kind of cheapen it. You can imagine that he did, but this ending invites you to contemplate that this story is just as meaningful if he did not.

In conclusion, Jesus Christ Superstar is one of my absolute favorite things and the 2012 arena tour is my baby

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

#jesus christ superstar #ramble #review #character analysis #my buttons #holy jesus this is long #8500 words of JCS rambling #which is almost as much as I wrote about episode four of Breaking Bad

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youngwings-writes · 4 years ago

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Infinitely Ordinary

Lee Felix x OC

Summary: "𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕀 𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟"

Busy. Busy worrying, working, just trying to survive. That was the daily life of Jordan Johnson. The world never seemed to slow down; not for her...not for anyone. Finally deciding to take matters into her own hands and get some much needed R&R, she jets off on a trip to South Korea. While there, she unexpectedly meets her soulmate. Will they be able to find happiness together, or will his status get in the way?

Genre: Fluff

Length: 2k

Chapter 4: Sunshine

"So... I guess we're soulmates?"

I froze.

Obviously, I had come to that conclusion on my own already, but to hear Felix saying it was a whole other thing. Like, this is the boy I've been admiring from afar for years. I knew so much about him, but he probably didn't know I existed until 60 seconds ago.

I didn't trust my voice at this point, so I simply smiled and gave a shy nod in response.

"I know this is really sudden, but I'm not sure the middle of a dog cafe is where we should be discussing such a serious matter... is there any possibility we could go to wherever it is you're staying and continue getting to know one another?"

"O-of course! That's no problem at all. Just let me pull up directions again so I don't get us lost," I began fumbling with my phone, trying not to look as nervous as I felt.

Soon enough I had the directions to my apartment pulled up on my phone. Felix and I grabbed our drinks and made our way out into the streets of Seoul.

"It doesn't seem like you're from around here, where are you from?"

"Phoenix, Arizona, born and raised," I said with a hint of triumph. Arizona isn't exactly the classiest state, but to survive the summers was definitely a feat.

"Oh! I actually went to Phoenix not that long ago with my mem- my friends! I didn't get to see much of it before we left though."

I could tell he was going to say his members, but he stopped himself. I know he went to Phoenix. Hell, I saw him while he was in Phoenix. My friends and I pooled together enough money to get all four of us P5 tickets to their concert. Still not sure how our broke college student selves pulled that one off.

Should I tell him?

Well, he'll find out eventually, so why not bite the bullet and tell him now?

I took a deep breath.

"Can I tell you something, Felix?"

His head turned to face me, one eyebrow cocked in curiosity.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I want to be completely transparent with you, especially since we're apparently soulmates... I know who you are."

I could see him grow stiffer. I continued.

"My friends and I were at the Stray Kids concert in Phoenix. I've been a Stay since before debut. The last 10 minutes has my head absolutely reeling. I never thought that I would meet you or any of your members, let alone have you turn out to be my soulmate. If this makes you uncomfortable, I'm so sorry. It's probably strange hearing all of this; learning that your apparent soulmate knows so much about you while you know so little about them. Not to mention it's probably overwhelming. I mean, we're both still growing up, plus you have the stress of being an idol on top of it," I let my mouth run.

Everything came out like I had just opened the floodgates. I was beyond nervous to hear what he had to say, but also relieved to have said what I did. The last thing I want is to have kept the fact that I knew Felix before he knew me a secret. He deserves to know the truth and not feel like I just used the fact that he's my soulmate for my own personal gain. Keeping him in the dark and using him like that would just be fucked up.

"Okay, wow. First of all, I just wanna say thank you for telling me everything. I also want you to know that the fact that you know who I am doesn't make me uncomfortable. Actually, I'm both flattered and relieved. I won't have to explain being an idol and what that entails for us, so that makes things a lot less stressful. This is completely new territory for both of us, we just need to trust one another and make adjustments as we go," he said as he flashed me a reassuring smile.

"Besides, the fact that you know more about me than I know about you only means I have to spend more time with you and work to know you faster. Plus you get to know a side of me not everyone knows."

"And I'm hoping that side isn't some secret dark side you've been hiding to save face," I gave his shoulder a nudge.

The remainder of the walk to my apartment was relatively quiet. There was a bit of small talk here and there, but nothing extreme. For the most part, we just strolled along in a comfortable silence. It was... suprisingly nice.

One of my personal fears has always been making a fool of myself in front of others or making things awkward; especially with people I looked up to. To be experiencing such a comfortable peace with Felix seemed unreal. Bonus points for only mildly making a fool of myself in the very beginning.

Self improvement baby :)

Even with my poor navigation skills and even worse sense of direction, we made it to my apartment building without any problems.Entering the glass double doors, Felix and I made our way to the elevator. The elevator doors opened with a soft ding and we stepped in. Pressing the button for the third floor, we began our ascent.

When we arrived in front of my door, I almost made the move to input my phone password on the keypad. Force of habit. Realizing what I was about to do, I pulled out my phone and notes app, punching in the number I knew I would've forgotten otherwise. Just as before, a soft beep and click were heard as the door unlocked and we may our way inside.

Shedding our shoes (or feet prisons as my sister would call them), we made our way towards the couch in the small living area the rental possessed. Since we both still had food and drinks from the cafe, I rushed to the kitchen to get plates and utensils for the two of us.

Upon returning to the couch I saw that Felix had already began unpacking our leftovers. I set the plates down and started helping him plate the treats.

"So, you said that you've been a Stay since pre-debut, right?"

"Yeah. I think it was around December of 2017 that I found Stray Kids."

"Wow. Was it random that you stumbled across us, or did you find us through another group?"

"A little bit of both. I first started listening to K-Pop back in 2012, but didn't really get into it until around 2014. From there, I got into F(x), Shinee, and BTS, but I was still more of a casual listener than anything. In 2016 I got into GOT7, Day6, and Twice, so I obviously knew about your label. Funny enough though, I found Stray Kids because one of the people I rode the bus with was talking about how they were upset with how the survival show was going. I think it was right between when you were eliminated and the finale..."

I felt kind of bad bringing up the part about his elimination. I had absolutely no clue if it was still a touchy subject or not. Seeing how far he's come and where he is now, I really hope it isn't and that he doesn't beat himself up over it. JYP's reasoning for it all was complete bullshit anyway.

"Well, that'll make for quite the introduction, huh?"

"For sure. I may not have been there from the very beginning like some others had, but there was definitely some intense feelings of pride seeing you all standing on that stage being told you would debut together."

"I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. Getting there was beyond difficult, but having experienced all I have now, I can 100% say it was worth every second." Felix's eyes shimmered as he spoke. Anyone could tell that he was thinking not only of his members, his brothers, but his fans as well.

Being such a music fanatic, I've seen some bands that you can tell don't care about their fans. While this was way more common in the Western music scene, it did happen in the Kpop world as well. Despite that, I could confidently say that Stray Kids genuinely care for Stay; I could say that before I discovered Felix was my soulmate.

"So do you have any other hobbies or interests besides Stray Kids?"

"Nooo, not at all," I quipped back, my voice oozing sarcasm. A small chuckle was elicited from the freckled boy's throat.

"In all seriousness, music is one of my biggest hobbies. I did musical theatre from age 5 until age 11, I was in choir throughout all of my middle school years, and played trombone in middle school and high school. I don't play a lot now, but I still find the time every now and then. When I wasn't taking part in local musical endeavors, I was at some concert with my friends or my sister. Other than that, I enjoy reading, writing, photography, baking, and cosmetology."

"Quite the artist, aren't you?"

"In every sense except painting or drawing, yes. Ask me to do either of those and I will go running for the hills. Why I can do makeup, but I can't paint or draw I will never know."

"I guess the only explanation is that life is just weird like that sometimes," he laughed again. I always loved his laugh before, but hearing it face-to-face was literal heaven. This boy is straight up an angel, and no one can convince me otherwise.

We spent the next hour or two in my temporary home, conversation continuing to flow. I always knew and acknowledged the fact that idols and other celebrities are normal people just like you and me, but I couldn't help but freak out a little when I met anyone. Of course the same applied to Felix, but I think I got over the shock value faster than I normally would. I didn't really dwell on the fact that he was a world famous idol for long; I honestly almost forgot about it.

Normally, it takes me a while to warm up to people and feel comfortable with them, but Felix seemed to be an exception. The more we spoke and got to know one another, the longer I felt I had known him. Talking with him almost felt like talking with my best friend since preschool.

Just as conversation was beginning to die down a bit, Felix's phone buzzed from the table. He quickly picked it up and checked the notification. I watched him read the words sprawled across his screen, his smile slightly falling.

"Have to go back to the JYP building?" I inquired.

"Yeah. We have a performance in a few days, so we've been drilling pretty hard lately. I'm honestly kinda surprised that I didn't get called back sooner. It's been a few hours since I left," he explained while rubbing the nape of his neck.

"Well, I've already kept you here longer than I probably should have. I don't want to get you in trouble with your members or any staff."

"I suppose you have a point... but how about you come with me?"

"...come with you?"

"Yeah, come with me to JYP, meet my members, watch us practice. Everyone there has to meet you eventually since we're soulmates and all, so why not take care of it sooner rather than later?"

"I don't really have any other specific plans for today, so it could work. But are you sure bringing me won't get you in trouble?"

"As long as it doesn't interfere with our work, you should be good to go. I'm sure you'll be fine. It's not like you're gonna run around wreaking havoc or anything."

"Okay, let's head out then."

We quickly cleaned the living area, grabbed what we needed, and made our way back to the entrance of my building. Hailing the closest cab, Felix and I got in. He gave the cab driver the address to the JYP building and we were on our way.

I guess I'm meeting the rest of Stray Kids now.

#felix #lee felix #lee yongbok #felix lee #felix stray kids #stray kids felix #stray kids #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids drabbles #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop drabbles #youngwings-writes

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calliecat93 · 5 years ago

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Top 10 Favorite Female Characters

Happy International Women’s Day everyone! For many years now, there have been a lot of strides made in women’s rights. It’s still far, FAR from perfect, but we’ve still made many strides and fiction is no exception. So I thought, in celebration of today, I’d talk about some of my favorite female characters of all time. I had a LOT of options and narrowing it down was tough, but I think I made a pretty good list. So let's get on with it~

10. Kimberly Hart/The Pink Ranger (Power Rangers)

I don’t talk about Power Rangers a lot on here, but let me tell you all. Kimberly is one of the first female superheroes I ever saw, and I love her so much. She begins as a one-dimensional valley girl type, though still a good-hearted person. She’s the token girly-girl while Trini was more of the token tomboy. But Kimberly over time developed form being the least willing to be a Ranger, to devoting herself full-heartedly to her duties. She could kick just as much ass as her fellow rangers, and look pretty while she did so.

Kim was a fantastic character, especially in a boy-aimed tokusatsu adaptation. There have been many other great Pink Rangers since her time. Heck my actual favorite Pink Ranger of all time is Jen from Time Force. But the reason Kim is on here and not here? Kim is the one who started it all. She and Trini defined kickass female Rangers and none of the ones we have now would have existed without the original ladies. And as much as I also liked Trini.. well... I think that Kim is the clear stand-out among most female rangers, especially since she lasted so long. I was so sad when she left and especially how Zeo screwed her character over with that stupid Dear John letter to Tommy as well as how the 2017 movie wrote her because it just made her incredibly unsympathetic and unlikeable. But she left one Hell of a legacy and I love her.

9. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)

Despite my feelings about the author in recent years, Harry Potter is still a series I grew up on and love. Albeit I’m one of the few who got into the films more than the books, but still. The one thing that got me into the series? Hermione. She begins as a bit of a snooty know-it-all, always rubbing her knowledge int he faces of others and coming off as kind of a brat. But we soon see that she really doesn't know how to make friends and is a serious student and good person. Once Harry and Ron befriend her, we see how much of a brave, loyal, and determined girl she is, using her brains and talent in academics to get all the info they need. They would have died multiple times without this girl.

Hermione is someone we grow up with and kind of the representative of young girls. We watch her as she struggles with her status as a Muggle-born witch, how her pursuit of knowledge can overwhelm her, and of course what happens when she realizes her feelings for Ron. I... am not a huge fan of the pairing for many reasons, but her frustration and struggle feel very real. She makes mistakes, some more called out than others, but she does genuinely strive to do good And through it all, she is loyal to Harry and to the fight against Voldemort, growing to be proud of who she is and of her heritage as a ‘mudblood’. Even n the final book, where she’s forced to erase her parents memories to protect them, Ron abandoning her and Harry, and getting tortured by Bellatrix, none of it stops her from fighting for what she believes in.

Looking back now, Hermione has her problems both in the books and the films. Some of Ron's better moments got lost because the writer favored her which I can see whyt hat annoyed many people (I’m not one of them, but still), and the whole House Elf plot in the book has some... not great implications. But it doesn't stop Hermione from being a strong female character who is intelligent, brave, and Emma Watson’s strong performance really helped bring her to life. She ain’t perfect, but I still grew up watching her and I will always be grateful for that fact.

8. April O’Neil (TMNT 2012)

Screw the people who hated on her, April is awesome!

Really April in any incarnation of the Turtles is awesome. 2k3, Rise, the films. heck despite her being kidnapped every episode, even OT April was determined as Hell and you wouldn’t get in her way! But since I’m only picking one here, I gotta go with her 2k12 self. Her 2k3 self is also a close contender, but this was the version I spent the most time watching and for any of you who have follow me long enough knows, I spent a LOOOOT of time defending her from ship haters.

Looking back now, yeah there are some problems. Her limited screentime in S1, some of the Kraang stuff got rushed/crammed in, her missing mom story went nowhere, her being Donnie’s love interest. there’s plenty of problems. But those are more story issues than actual character issues. The last one especially si more an issue with Donnie’s character than April since she herself was NEVER defined by the ‘love interest’ card. She never existed for that purpose, and it shows especially by the end.

April began as a helpless, but very determined girl hoping to save her father after their abduction in which only she got saved. She spends most of her time getting intel for the Turtles while undergoing training from Splinter. She slowly, but gradually, grows into a capable kunoichi who can hold her own and gradually becomes an equal to her reptilian companions. She’s friendly, takes shit from no one, and she is probably the biggest Determinator in the entire series where ven when utterly helpless, she will STILL be defiant until the bitter end. he goes through Hell, and every single time she finds a way to pull herself together and forge on.

Despite how I fell off the series by the end, I was very happy with where April ended. From a girl just wanting her life back, to accepting her reality and making it her own. She trains herself in both ninjutsu and her new psychic abilities and becomes a kunoichi in her own right with them. She was even able to hold her own against Shredder! This girl became a badass and while there are issues here and there, I think she by far had some of the best development in the series. She remains my favorite character in 2012, y favorite April, and she has more than earned her spot on this list.

7. Avatar Korra (The Legend of Korra)

Another character who got unnecessary hate! Oh wait, that happens to every female character ever. Silly me!

Korra is what made LoK so great to me. She is a bull-headed, somewhat arrogant girl who has devoted her entire life to being the Avatar. She is the anti-Aang, so much so that she is terrible at Air Bending. But she’s also a very determined girl and went to Republic City to make Tenzin train her. Over the course of the series, we see how despite her arrogance, she is a good person who is truly devoted to her duty and genuinely wants to protect everyone. But she’s faced with her own vulnerabilities and flaws as a person as she has to learn to allow others to help/guide her and learn from her mistakes. And HO BOY does she make MANY mistakes.

Over four seasons, we watch Korra grow. She’s faced with the fact that she is vulnerable in S1 and while she doesn't fully overcome it, she does so enough to face Amon despite knowing what’ll happen to her. In S2, she faces the worse of herself but in doign so, truly improves herself and puts things right while letting go of most of her arrogance. S3 has her a much more well-rounded person trying to do what’s right, but it ended in her torture, poisoning, and she is just broken by the end. S4 has her slow recovery both physically and mentally and the road is long, hard, and just painful. But by the end, she accepts what happened and is able to find the balance to restore her power, return to her duties, and save the world from utter calamity.

I related so uch to Korra, moreso than I did Aang. She got a lot fo hate for her attitude and... well, not being Aang. But she grew so much and I loved how much of a badass and fully layered character she was. Yeah, she wasn’t Aang, that was a good thing. I loved her form the beginning, and I loved her even more by the end. She’s a great example of a female protagonist and shows that yes, a female action heroine CAN work. The Avatar franchise has many outstanding female characters (Katara, Toph, Suki, Azula, Asami, Jinora, Kuvira) but to me, Korra beats them all and I love her.

6. Wonder Woman

Well I couldn’t leave off the most well-known female superhero of all time now, could I?

Wondy is awesome. I first saw her on Superfriends back when Cartoon Network reran it. While it is a super campy show, Wondy was a true hero who stood equal to her male companions and was just as capable of saving the day as them. She was pretty much the only main female, so of course she was the one I was drawn to and I loved seeing her in action. But she could fall into the Damsel in Distress role cause... well, girl and lie I said, Superfriends is super campy. But I took what I could get int hose days!

Fortunately, Wondy has had much better media rep since... and in fact before with the Lynda Carter series. I hadn’t seent hat when I was a kid and while it’s cheesy, Wondy was still a badass there who easily held her own. Her Justice League DCAU self was when I really fell in love with her. Kind, beautiful, righteous, and an utter powerhouse. Seriously, I think she kicked more ass than anyone in both the original and Unlimited series. She has two animated DC films, which are both pretty dang good. Bloody, but good!

But of course, we have the Gal Gadot film. This was the film that arguably has saved the DC Cinematic Universe, and for good reason. While I’m not a big fan of Wondy being a demigod, she still showed why he’s so good. She’s a true hero wanting to do good, and in a setting like World War One, that is hard to find. She’s caring, devoted, strong, and is just a shining example of a true hero. She inspires hope in a cinematic universe that thrived off of grittiness, and Thank God we have her. I can only hope that the sequel holds the same quality, but nothing will take this away.

Wonder Woman is awesome. They screw her up sometimes, both ina nd out of comics. But there is no doubt that she earned her spot as a beloved feminist icon, as well as her spot here on this list.

#5. Kim Possible

You do not know how obsessed with this show I used to be. It is probably my all-time favorite Disney animated series of all time. Why? Because of it’s clever writing, fun humor, great action, and of course it’s characters. Kim especially.

She is the girl who can do anything, and she lives up to that claim. She’s a cheerleader by day, crime fighter by night, and she handles those worlds flawlessly... for the most part. She’s tough, smart, and a badass who uses her cheerleading skills to aid in her crime-fighting. She faces mad scientists, monsters, and everything in between and she ALWAYS comes out on top.

She’s now flawless, mind you. She’s bossy, smug, and can over-react when she faces things that she can’t do such as cooking or.. really anything normal/standard teen problems. She’s especially bad at maintaining dates. But whenever she faces a problem, she finds a way tog et through it whether it be with help from Ron, or finding her own way in solving it. She doesn't cry or mope about things like... well, the live-action film has her do. No, she gets up and finds solutions while still saving the day in the process. That is what makes her great, she’s a character before she’s a girl. Hence why she is a great female protagonist

Kim is someone I strived to be like when I got that age... with varying success. But hey, it just proves that Kim Possible can indeed do anything. Call her, beep her if you wanna reach her, and she’ll be there. just like how she’s here for this spot.

4. Ruby Rose (RWBY)

MY DAUGHTER!

When I first got into RWBY, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But the first character I fell in love with? Little Red here! I adore this girl to pieces. She gets a lot of flack form some for being ‘flat’ and ‘underdeveloped’ and I don’t have time to go into every reason why that’s not true. You can read this for some examples of why shes awesome. But let me summarize the gist of it as best as I can.

Ruby is a teenaged girl striving to be a Huntress like her mother, wanting to do good in the world like the heroes in her storybooks. Over time, as he overcomes her own flaws and the burdens of leadership, she learns how colossal of a task doing good truly is in a world that is harsh and cruel. She loses friends, her school gets broken apart, and the world seems to become more and more divided. And she’s right int he middle of it. So what does she do?

She gets up and continues on.

She decides to fight because she wants to help. She wants to make the world a better place because that is what a Huntress is supposed to do. She puts aside her own feelings in hopes that she can help do something. Even as she is pulled more and more into the true realities of her world, she stands firm and continues on. And when everyone else seems broken and on the verge of quitting? She grabs the reigns and pushes everyone forward herself.

Ruby may be a somewhat standard protagonist, but her determination and quirkiness help her stand out. She’s goofy, naive, and a socially awkward klutz. But she’s still a good-hearted person who always tries and in a world full fo monsters that thrive on despair, this is a very admirable trait. She’s gone from a girl afraid of being viewed as special, to taking the lead int he war against Salem all because it is her duty as a Huntress to protect everyone. She inspires those around her and also inspires me. She’s what got me to stay with this show, and I have yet to regret it.

RWBY has MANY great female characters. Weiss, Blake, Yang, Maria, Nora, Penny, Winter, and many others. But Ruby was always going to be my first pick. What can I say? I adore this girl~

3. Blossom (The Powerpuff Girls)

The Powerpuff girls was, and remains, my favorite cartoon of all time It was funny, action-packed, great characters, and great animation. I adore all three of the girls. Bubbles is cute but certianly no pushover, and Buttercup can be a jerk but she kicks a LOT of ass. But the one who I always loved the most was the commander and leader of the group, Blossom.

Blossom is the most mature of the girls, being very intelligent for her age. She’s smart, confident, and a natural leader. She’s also rather bossy, full of herself, and can be obnoxious at times with her egg-headed nature. From what I can tell, she was the leat liked... which sucks for me. I loved Blossom because of how smart she was and because of how good of a leader she was. Sure she had the occasional slip, but she was usually fairly reasonable, strategic, and always tried to look after her sisters and break up their spats.

I still remember the episode that made me love her. It was Princess’ introductory episode. In it, Blossom tried her best to be as reasonable with her as she could, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt since she was new and probably didn’t know how to make friends. It especially makes since if you’ve seen the movie and know how much the girls themselves struggled. But once it became clear that Princess really was a despicable little brat and she pounded her sisters, Blossom was pissed but still calm unlike the other two. Due to this, she easily thrashed Princess, destroyed her power suit, and gave her the mother of all The Reason You Suck speeches, telling her what being a hero truly means and how she’s nothing but a spoiled brat. It remains of my favorite PPG moments ever and after how much Blossom tried to give her a chance, it was very deserved.

Sadly, Blossom hasn’t gotten the best rep in other incarnations. Her PPGZ self while fine... wasn’t Blossom. Like... at all. And the less said about the 2016 series the better. Still, I remember how much I looked up to the original Blossom and enjoyed seeing her kick butt every Friday. I even still have one of my old dolls that I cherish to this day. Allt he Powerpuffs are great, and I will love them forever.

2. Sailor Moon/Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon)

Speaking of childhood heroines!

Ah Sailor Moon, We’ve had a long history, you and I. The first show I ever kept up with. The first fandom I ever got into. The first anime I ever got into. nd of course, the first heroine I ever truly loved.

Usagi (well... Serena when I was a kid, as the 90′s) is someone I still hold close to my heart. She is a klutz, crybaby, and far from an ideal heroine. She can be rather immature and at times selfish, preferring to sleep or eat sweets than worry about her Sailor Senshi duties. But as he grows, we see that through it all, she is a pure, caring young girl. I think the manga/Crystal anime did a MUCH better job at portraying that side to her, though the 90′s anime presented her more heroic side as well. They just sometimes forgot that he was past being a crybaby...

Usagi loves everyone. Her lover Mamoru, her fellow Senshi, just everyone. She doesn’t like fighting, but she will if she has to. She goes from crying in the middle of fights to being able to face God-like entities with just a magic crystal. Despite not having wanted to be a Senshi to begin with, she accepts her destiny and tries to save everyone, even her enemies. It just shows how despite her flaws as a person, she is a true hero who can always be relied on.

Sailor Moon did a lot when it came out. it helped revolutionize the Magical Girl genre, helped give anime a standing in America, and showed how femininity is not a weakness. There’s many other great female characters (Ami, Rei, Makoto, Minako) and all are their own character. But Usagi has always been the one I loved most and so she claims the Number Two spot.

Honorable Mentions

Sakura Kinomoto (Cardcaptor Sakura) Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender) Twilight Sparkle (MLP:FIM) Agent Carolina and Kaikaina Grif (Red vs Blue) Lois Lane (Superman: The Animated Series) Hawkgirl/Shayera Hal (Justice League/Unlimited) Gosalyn Mallard (Darkwing Duck) Webby Vanderquack (Ducktales 2017) Rapunzel (Tangled franchise) Anna (Frozen) Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Tiana, Moana (Disney Princess) Kida (Atlantis: The Lost Empire) Meg (Hercules) Esmerelda (The Hunchbakc of Notre Dame) Jane (Return to Neverland Princess Elena (Elena of Avalor) Hikaru Shidou, Umi Ryuuzaki, and Fuu Hohouji (Magic Knights Rayearth) Nami (One Piece) Misty (Pokemon) Winry Rockbell (FMA) Ran Mouri (Detective Conan) Kagome Higurashi and Sango (Inuyasha) Pretty much all the Pretty Cures Nancy Drew Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) Ms. Frizzle (The Magic School Bus) Daphne Blake and Velma Dinkley (Scooby-Doo) Calico ‘Callie’ Briggs and Felina Feral (SWAT Kats)

And I’m sure there’s more, but we’re gonna be here all day if I keep going. So let's go ahead and get to Number One. Which tbh... this was a no-brainer.

1. Mulan

Yeah, this probably shocks no one. I’ve talked about Mulan like... a billion times by now. But there was no other option for me.

Mulan is my favorite movie of all time, and the title character is my favorite character of all time. She’s a young woman who wants to bring her family honor, but struggles to do so in the ways she’s expected. She goes to war in her father’s place to save his life, and she struggles even more. She’s someone who doubts and is ashamed of herself, but over time she decides that she’s done hating her refection and tries to prove her worth. She not only becomes a better soldier and earns the respect of everyone around her, but even after she’s unmasked, she goes on to save all of freakin’ China! The whole country, including the freakin’ Emperor, bows before her because of this. You do not get more respect than that.

I’ve only grown to love and relate more to this story as I’ve grown older. I’ve learned to not define myself by society expectations, but just as who I am. Mulan struggles with expectations, family, warn, and most of all her own insecurities. She wants to see something worthwhile when she looks into the mirror, but she always just feels shame. But by the end, she puts it aside and becomes the best version of herself. She returns home with more than enough to honor her family... and her father tosses it aside to hug her. He’s just grateful to have her home, the greatest girl and honor. She’s someone who we watch grow and her journey hold sup even today. Argubaly even moreso.

Mulan was a film that changed me. Shaped my beliefs and values into what they are now. Even today, I see it as a flawless movie, and Mulan a flawless heroine. he’s a perfect example of a female protagonist, or heck just a protagonist in general. I love her and because of how much she shaped my five-year-old self into who I am now, se is my favorite female character of all time.

And that’s that! Well that was fun! Thank you all for reading and to all thw women out there, whether you were born as one or made the choice to identify as such. Whether you love men, women, or whoever. Whether you care about love or not. I hope you all have a lovely day and stay true to who you are. Happy International Women’s Day everyone~!

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gracefulcrimson · 5 years ago

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Strange Love: Chapter One

Chapter Title: Remembering

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Dark Shadows (2012)

Relationship: Angie Bouchard/OFC

Tags: Romance, Eventual Smut, Dubious Consent, Obsessive Angie, Girl Penis, g!p Angie, Manipulation, Dom/Sub

Once I hear the ding of the bell at the front door, signaling the prompt exit of our last customer, I resume staring out the window and watching the people and cars go by. Quaint shops and boutiques, much like our antique store, line the streets of downtown Collinsport; gathering interest from the passersby. Just as I start to get bored of observing the image in front of me, a bright red convertible passes by. It happens slow enough that I also catch a glimpse of the blonde hair. Angelique Bouchard. I’ve seen her car pass by many times, but a certain memory of it always tends to stick out in my mind.

At fourteen, I had grown tired of staying in all night. With nothing to do but read, listen to music, and sleep, I decided it would be a good idea to sneak out and go for a walk; and it’s not like anything bad would happen if I only did this every once in a while. That’s what I kept telling myself as I hopped off the bottom step of the fire escape and walked out onto the sidewalk.

It was around one in the morning. The streets were empty since there wasn’t much to do in a town like this past ten o’clock. I headed down the sidewalk at a leisurely pace, not sure where exactly I should walk to but enjoying the quiet night nevertheless. After about twenty minutes, I heard the engine of a car on the road coming from the opposite direction, but before I could process what it was, it was already flying past me. I saw a flash of red under the streetlights and could make out the general shape of the car. It came to an abrupt stop a good distance down the street in front of the Collins Cannery. I pick up my pace a bit while sticking to the shadows along the way; wanting to get a closer look and to figure out who it was, but also not wanting to get into the driver’s line of sight. Once I got close enough to get a decent look at the car and the woman driving it, I paused. She looked at the cannery for a minute or two, and then as quickly as she got there, she left in the same manner.

What happened next is something I will never forget. Not even a moment later the factory went up in flames in such an unnatural way. The fire engulfed the whole building in just the blink of an eye. I was frozen in shock as I watched. Luckily, the massive flames were quickly noticed by some people in apartments above the shops nearby. People raced out onto the streets, the fire department arriving minutes later. I ran home quickly and laid in bed for the rest of the night, unable to sleep as my brain tried to process witnessing something so strange.

Angelique is so well respected by everyone in town, they practically worship her. But I don’t buy it. When I see her interact with people, there always seems to be a hidden motive behind that too perfect mask of hers. When she smiles, it’s like seeing a predator bear their teeth at their blissfully unaware prey. She has no living family, and she doesn’t seem to have any close friends. Everyone would probably say that she’s a people person from the way she goes about town, but it seems to me that it’s only for show.

The ringing of the telephone breaks me out of my flow of thoughts. Picking up, I answer the way I always do, “North Atlantic Antiques. Katie speaking. How may I help you?”

“Katie, how’s everything going?” The sweet, cheery voice on the other end of the line automatically gives away her identity.

“Hi, Edith. Everything’s going um...great,” I reply, not being able to keep the shaken up tone in my voice in check.

“It doesn’t sound like it’s great. Is there something wrong, dear,” Edith asks, genuinely concerned.

She and her husband Jim really do care about my well-being. The older couple has kept an eye out for me since my employment when I was fifteen. Even more so when my parents moved away to New York for my dad’s new job at the hospital. I had only just turned eighteen when my dad got offered a position as a doctor on one of the new floors. Of course, it was reasonable for him to take it. He’d make way more money there than he ever would here. Since then, the older couple has taken me in and treated me as their own. They just settled their wills a couple of weeks ago to officially transfer the ownership of the antique store and apartment into my name once they are gone. They’ve taken to travelling more recently. At the moment, they are in Pennsylvania visiting family for two weeks.

“No, everything is perfectly fine here. It’s just been slow today, and I’m getting a little tired,” I say, trying on a more reassuring tone. “How’s your trip going?”

“Oh, it’s been wonderful! It’s so nice to spend time with my cousin Helen again.”

I smile to myself at her enthusiasm. “I’m glad you’re having a good trip. And don’t worry about the store, I’ll take great care of it while you’re gone.”

“I know you will. Thank you so much, Katie. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Talk to you soon, Edith. Bye.” I gently set the phone back on the hook. Cleaning is probably the most productive thing to steer my attention away from my previous thoughts, so that’s exactly what I start to do.

#strange love #angelique bouchard #angie bouchard #angie bouchard x oc #femslash #eva green #ao3fic

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onetruejonsey · 5 years ago

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Decade In Review, by Samuel Richard Sinbad Gandalf Jones

So as the ‘Teens’ come to a close (I’m writing this with 3 hours left on the clock!), Gabby has insisted that I copy her, and do a highlight reel of my last decade. Now I’m not on YouTube yet, so this’ll be more of a REALLY REALLY long post, but go ahead and read it, then read Gabby’s on her page (@mist-over-water), and see just how boring I really am!

2010-

Well this year was boring as hell, clearly. I CAN’T REMEMBER MOST OF IT. But I was part way through my first year of A-Levels, and boy oh boy, was I failing them, I’d gone from being a straight A student to screwing everything up! Didn’t stop procrastinating though…..

2011-

Okay, now things get a little interesting, I got my first big job working at a really pleasant and mature restaurant….AHAHA just kidding I got a job at my local McDonald’s! It took me three attempts to get in there, not because I sucked, but timing sucked, I think the universe eventually saw me and just said ‘Oh fuck it, have the job’. But I wanted to earn some money to take me to university, and this seemed like a good idea at the time! And my first paycheck was spent on a brand new guitar! So I was a happy Sam!

I finished my A-Levels, and when I got my results, I was crushed, not at the results, they were pretty good. All my university choices rejected me, and all my friends made it. It was my own fault to be honest, but I’ll never forget just how low that made me feel. I was pretty angsty back then, so this just added to my pile!

I decided it was best to stay at work, go full time, get waaaaay more money, and try again next year. This proved to be a good decision, as it led to me being invited to my first ever work party, I got drunk, and there was karaoke, and I gave my best rendition of Basket Case by Green Day, and to this day, there are still whispers of my singing prowess. Even though I’m a bit shit.

2012-

I started 2012 with a pinch of determination, and it paid off. I re-applied for university, and all my choices accepted me, so now it was down to me to make my final decision. I’d had my eye on one in particular, so off me and Mum go to Northampton, 2 and half hours later, and the sat-nav took us to a primary school (I’ll never forget the shopkeeper on the same road-‘Looking for the uni? You’re the 4th person today!’). I fell in love with the whole place, and as soon as I got in the car I looked at Mum and said that I had to be there. I accepted the offer within a minute of being home.

Now from the good to the bad. Something happened to me this year that still sticks with me, and to many, this may seem stupid. But my dog died. Sounds stupid right? Jazz was the best dog I have ever known; loyal, unwavering, had the gift of the gab, and never left us alone. I was convinced she was actually a human reincarnated, she looked after Mum when she was ill, she looked after me when I was miserable, and she loved Dad. What made it more heartbreaking was that she never let us know that she was ill, no, that she was dying. When we got her to the vet, they originally thought it was a little infection, nothing major. The next day we had to rush her in as an emergency, and they found a tumour in her stomach the size of a baby’s head. How we never knew about it I’ll never know, but they operated, and got her all cleared up, and yet it wasn’t enough, she died within the hour, and I buried one of my best friends. This led to a vacuum in our house, we’ve always had dogs and the house felt so wrong without one, so Mum and Dad decided, one day without telling me, to go and get our current doggo Indiana. AND TALK ABOUT GOING FROM ONE EXTREME TO THE OTHER. If Jazz was the best dog ever, Indy is definitely the worst. But we love him, still today as a grumpy old man.

2012 saw me do something that I honestly never thought possible, and dead serious moment here: I genuinely never saw this coming for me, and was convinced that I was not the guy who would be in this situation. But I got a girlfriend, and it was my first relationship. Not ‘first major relationship’, like people who would bounce from quick fling to the next, but my first relationship. To me, a relationship is no small matter, you date me, I’m in it for the long term. Sam ain’t no quick and easy thing! Oh god why am I still such a dork. Anyway, so, yeah, my first relationship, and dear god was I clueless about what to do! And oh shit, I was leaving for uni in September, so would this work long distance? Am I boyfriend material? Will her parents like me? Will my parents like her?....ah fuck it, I WAS 19 AND IN LOVE. I DIDN’T GIVE A SHIT. And whilst we spent some of it long distance, we made it work.

2013-

Now that bit where I was really excited for university and all I’d learn in my 3 years there? Yeah I left after the first year. Cool. My finances were screwed over and I didn’t get my money, so I couldn’t go back, but I guess it was meant to happen for a reason.

Leaving university meant I could focus more on working back home at McDonald’s, so I tried for a promotion, got it, and lost it the day after because of bullshit. But I still carried on, because money’s nice right? I could buy nice things with it, like more stuff for my guitar collection! And many presents! But my my, I think I was getting into a world of pain staying there!

But while we’re on the subject of work and stuff, I got punched in the face by a shitty customer. And it broke my cheekbone. Which I didn’t find out about until a week later when I practically passed out and my girlfriend at the time rushed me to hospital! Since that’s happened I’ve always had a little problem with headaches, lately it’s been really good, to the point I’ve spent pretty much all of 2019, with no headache at all!

Still, finish a topic on a good note, I had my first ever trip to London, it was just me and my girlfriend, and we visited a bakery show. But London itself wowed me, and I fell in love with it, and I always knew I would be back there, just….not how I imagined.

2014-

Starting off, I went back to London! My girlfriend bought me tickets for me and my best friend to go and see Halestorm. MY FIRST CONCERT. And it was epic, I’d ben obsessed with Halestorm for some time already by this stage, so to see them live was a pivotal moment for me. The opening acts were shit, but my god, as soon as Lzzy belted out Love Bites…..oh, ohhh, OHHHHHH my god. The night itself was hectic enough, my friend and I didn’t think to book a hotel. Soooooo we had to run like fuck to make it back to the train, lest we be trapped in London for a whole night!

One big change in this year was my girlfriend and I moving into our own place, granted it was a static caravan, but it was ours, decorated, a bit cold, but it was home. Now, here’s a weird bit, I was home alone one night, and was just getting into bed, when I heard someone at the door. I thought it was my girlfriend home from work, but she was on a night? So, what’s the deal here? Oh wait that’s right, it was Gabby, drunkenly mistaking my caravan for hers! I heard muttering as she left, probably something along the lines of ‘Shit, not my caravan’. But if fate was starting the wheels turning, god she made it a slow fucking burn!

It took me a lot of years to pull this off, but I had my first ever holiday abroad! Rhodes, one of the Greek isles! I recall getting drunk a lot, really good food, and severe heat! But it was my first holiday in forever, and I went away with my girlfriend, her mum and her friend.

Aaaaaand then everything fell apart. I never expected myself to be in a relationship, but once I had one, I didn’t see it ending the way it did. And I’m not airing any dirty laundry, I wasn’t and am still not perfect, but I’m not bitter or twisted about it anymore, it just sucked at the time. I was cheated on, and to anyone who’s had it happen to them knows that it does a lot of damage, it can take a lot of time to recover, and I was lucky to have the friends I had to help me.

The latter half of 2014 saw me drop into a real dark place, I contemplated suicide, and one day I considered it, staring at a packet of tablets for about 6 hours. It took my best friend randomly appearing at my house, practically kidnapping me and taking me to see Guardians of the Galaxy to snap me out of it! But both him and that movie saved my life, so I’m forever grateful to the pair of them. Also I started drinking heavily, at an unhealthy level but, like John Mulaney said, we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

2015-

Back to having a bit of a dull year, but only a bit. I knuckled down and got on with work, and proved myself time and time again. I remade myself, sorted my drinking out, and did a lot to make myself better, or at the very least, less of a fuckup.

I also managed to cram in three more concerts this year, saw Halestorm again with my best friend and another friend, and we loved one of the supporting acts, Nothing More. AND I GOT TO MEET THE SINGER AND HE WAS THE NICEST ERMAHGERD AND I STILL HAVE THE TICKET WHICH HE SIGNED. Then it was Theory of a Deadman later in the year, and they were phenomenal. But by far, the cherry on the cake was seeing Nothing More again, as a VIP! I got to meet the whole band, watch them from close up, got a crapload of merch, and just have the best damn concert experience I could ever have!

2016-

I started this year a little bit worse for wear, I was a little downbeat about things, and was a little bit lost with my choices in life. So I got a cat. Meg the Merciless. And she is a total bitch, mostly disobedient, attacker of unwatched feet. But she is one hell of a companion, and she loves me and Gabby, we can always rely on her to show us a little love and affection when we need it. But as long as it’s on her terms.

Only one concert this year, but it was a biggie: Sum 41 in London, with the same two friends I go to concerts with, aaaaaand we were bruised and injured from surrounding mosh pits, I think Jacob got a cracked rib for his troubles, and I got a smack in the head, so fun times all round!

I tried again for a promotion at work, and made progress! So that was good, my life’s going forwards, what else could happen to make this year more awesome?

OH THAT’S RIGHT I MET GABBY. Yep, thank you Plenty of Fish for giving the option to exercise my social awkwardness from a screen, because that makes me feel so much better! Anyway, yeah Gabby and I started talking on there, I seem to recall the conversation starting off about surviving a zombie apocalypse? Darling, please correct me if I’m wrong! But we started off strong, and carried on strong from there, I was able to open up to her, which made me feel amazing, confident about being in a relationship again, and then we finally met. And our first date was amazing, it may have been a simple idea, drinks, dinner, walking, trying to be a gentleman and not look at Gabby’s butt. Being told by Gabby to look at her butt, giving said butt 2 thumbs up. The usual stuff you know? But the thing that marvelled me most? Her honesty. Gabby hasn’t had the best life, and she has told me so much that any one thing might break some people, and yet Gabby has endured it all, and she is still one of the kindest people I have ever known. She was worried that I might’ve been scared off with what she wanted me know, but it made me love her more, because she trusts me to the point that she’ll tell me all of this. I visited the zoo in October with her, had an amazing first Christmas with her, met her nieces, who are all adorable, met her friends, had a blast, and had a somewhat awkward time introducing Gabby to my parents!

2017-

After nearly 6 months, Gabby was offered the chance to move in with me and my parents, because her home life was…pretty terrible. After suffering psychological abuse for 7 years at the hands of a total scumbag (side note, I find it really hard to hate people, but if this guy died? Fine.) and going away with me to London for a few days, she made the choice to move in. And I think she’s finally realising how terrible a choice that was, because this house is a total nutfest, and she is now a part of it AND CAN NEVER ESCAPE. But she’s embraced it, and has become a better person with her new environment!

Sticking to the topic of Gabby, she landed a job working with me at McDonald’s. And we became one of the greatest working couples in the whole world, people loved us there. Well, most people. I loved working with her, but the managers were becoming total dicks at the time, and Gabby was being discriminated for her mental health, which pissed me off. And thanks to my shitty advice, she quit in November. So go me!

I realise that so far, my 2017 has been largely about Gabby, AND THAT ISN’T STOPPING ANYTIME SOON! I made a post before about this, but Gabby took me to LFCC, my first ever convention. We went to London again, had a ball, met Glenn from Walking Dead, and Crowley from Supernatural! Later in the year we would also go back to London for MCM Comic-Con, which was more spectacle, but I preferred LFCC more, there were more famous people, and I’m a sucker for meeting the famous!

I saw Sum 41 again with my best friend, and we learned our lesson from the last concert, so we got seats up top, and watched from relative safety, and thank god for that because my hearing went to crap after that night! Gabby bought me tickets to go and see Nothing More again as well, and to show her my world a little more, I took her with me! God they know how to put on a show!

The year ended on the shitty side, and I was a pretty shitty boyfriend with this. But Gabby’s nan fell ill, and it wasn’t looking good, and when Gabby needed me after going to be with her mum at the end of the year, I wasn’t there. So I will be spending the rest of my life trying to make up for it. Sorry sweetheart.

2018-

A shit start to be honest. Gabby’s nan died, and it was a stressful time all round, Gabby and I had a massive argument, and I nearly drove her to self harm. Way to go Sam, you prick. I was convinced that after that, we would be over. Why would Gabby want to be with someone who drives her mental health into the dirt? So naturally I was surprised when she told me she still loved me, and still wanted to be with me, and when she moved back, and got a new job, I saw this as a chance to get things going back in the right direction, for the sake of us, and to show Gabby that I will always love her.

NOW FOR A BIG DRAMATIC CHANGE IN SAM’S LIFE. I quit McDonald’s. And looking back at it, thank fuck I did. I was gunning for another promotion, and I got so close to becoming a manager, only for it to be taken away. Yet another opportunity snatched by arseholes. So that was it, fuck ‘em. I quit, and thanks to Gabby finding it, I got a new job working in the same company as my dad, and I can safely say I have not regretted that decision. I love my new job to pieces!

Now, back to Gabby. AND YET ANOTHER DRAMATIC CHANGE IN SAM’S LIFE. In August, on Gabby’s birthday, I wanted to take her to the zoo, with her mum and nieces in tow. And that was the day I lost my girlfriend. AND GAINED A FIANCEÉ SEE WHAT I DID THERE TUMBLR? SUBVERT YOUR EXPECTATIONS OH YEAH. I proposed, and she said yes! I’m going to be a husband! I’m grateful for everything Gabby does, she teaches me so much, and sometimes doesn’t realise it, so to hear her say yes has to be the greatest thing she has done for me so far, because it shows that she wants to spend the rest of her life with an overweight, greying, eccentric, potty mouthed nerd.

I started learning to drive this year, because goddamn it, if I’m going to get somewhere with my life, I needed to drive, I needed a car. So I found a driving school, and got to work. Now it took me going to a different driving school to find out that my first instructor was just trying to bleed me for money, but I enjoyed the driving all the same. But when I had to find a new driving school, I saw that as an opportunity to procrastinate my arse off again. Well done Sam, well done. You prat.

2019-

I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST. After getting in with a new driving school, I got on really quickly, and passed first time, and in May, after Gabby passed her test as well, we got our first car. Moss, the (nearly) 18 year old Nissan Micra. He’s old, a bit clunky, but he’s an amazing car, and I couldn’t picture a better car for us to start with. Mainly because he’s small and really easy to park.

After getting my butt into gear, and sorting out some crap on my end, Gabby and I really got into planning our wedding, we set the date, and from there, we decided on venues, transport, Gabby chose a dress, everything was coming together in the planning phase. However, we didn’t anticipate that we would have already booked over ¾ of the wedding before the end of this year! Seriously, our wedding is in 2021, and we are practically done. WE BOOKED OUR HONEYMOON A FEW DAYS AGO FOR GOD’S SAKE. So yeah, 2020 may be a little less exciting!

Now for a little bit of a shitty part of 2019. I found out a friend of mine died, and that left me feeling down as hell. Of all the people, I never imagined my friend Jay would be one to go so soon. He was a massive character, big heart, and a bigger laugh to match. To hear him pass was frigging heartbreaking, and I don’t think I’ll stop visiting him anytime soon.

Do I know what the next decade holds for me? Not a clue, but I’m glad I’m not alone for it, with Gabby at my side, and our wedding not that far away, I’m ready to make her the happiest woman alive, to start the family that we both want (I mean, apparently we’ll have twins when we have kids, so that’s going to be fun!), to live the lives that we want to spend together. To spend time with friends, new, old, and really old. But most importantly, to have her for all of it.

#personal #personal post #life #ten years #decade in review

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admiralty-xfd · 6 years ago

Text

Culmination

This is chapter 15. To start at the beginning, click here.

Mulder and Scully find happiness (for now). Mulder has a question to ask Scully.

CONJUGATION

(post IWTB)

SCULLY

For a while, everything is very, very good. The FBI has cleared Mulder of all the bogus charges, the tigers on their tail have retreated. Scully can hardly believe such a weight has been lifted off their shoulders.

No more running. No more hiding. They are free.

The house they live in is not much to look at, but it’s exactly the kind of place Mulder had talked about all those years ago during that awful case in Home, Pennsylvania.

My work demands that I live in a big city, but if I had to settle down, build a home...it’d be a place like this.

How amazing that after all these years, he’s settled down with her here, now. It isn’t far from where they used to live, but it feels remote in a good way.

The house is simple, sturdy, and unremarkable, with a weathered roof and a wrap around porch that Scully has to admit had entered her mind when she pictured where they would live. It’s been a comfort to them both. Although well off the beaten path it’s a place they can rest their souls, a real home. An anchor in the midst of what had been their storm.

The property extends several acres and the privacy it affords has had ample benefits for their situation the past several years. After months on the run they’d finally found a way out for Scully; the FBI was no longer interested in pursuing her, and as long as she claimed ignorance of the whereabouts of her erstwhile partner they’d leave her alone.

But she did know his whereabouts, and she had a sneaking suspicion many of her ex-fellow agents knew that. So she toed the party line, kept her head down, found herself a job at a nearby Catholic hospital and lived the life of a single woman at work, knowing Mulder would be waiting for her at home at the end of every day.

They’d lived this way for years, and for the most part they shared real happiness, whenever they were together. After working so long in such a high-intensity occupation, they’d had to readjust to a life that was its complete opposite. Scully had welcomed this change, and Mulder had as well, to her great surprise and pleasure. She enjoyed being a doctor again and he seemed to genuinely appreciate the rest. But year after year, he found himself alone for much of his time, forced to remain hidden, forced to stay underground. As a result he rarely left their house, and they’d prepared for scenarios in which the government might find him. There were crawlspaces in the floor, and they’d devised intricate drills in case their home was invaded.

She hadn’t been sure what this new life would be like for him. He had never been an extremely social person, but he abhorred idleness. And time takes its toll on anyone living in such isolation.

“I’m happy as a clam,” he will often say, whenever she asks him how he’s doing, and she believes him, for the most part. She has to. He will ease up next to her, wrap an arm around her torso and kiss her shoulder. “I’ve got you.”

And when they lay together at night in their own bed in their own bedroom in their own house and he presses his body to hers, she still can’t believe how lucky she is to have this; to have him, all to herself in this way. Now that they no longer have to hide who they are, or what they are, she can finally feel peace, as much as she possibly can. And she truly hopes, she wants to believe, he can as well.

It isn’t perfect, but it’s the happiest she’s been in years.

“Walk with me, Scully,” he says one afternoon as they sit together on their porch.

It’s been a few weeks since he finished his freelance case with the Bureau, and Scully had saved the life of a young patient when she’d feared the worst. It feels like a hopeful time, a happy time. The winter chill has worn its way into spring at last, just like in their own little world. All these years they’ve been in hiding, springtime has been such a relief for her. It felt like a new start, a turning point, and every year it gave her hope.

She smiles at him, takes his hand, and as they walk down the steps they are just like any other couple. They cross their yard, hand in hand, listening to the birds and feeling the warm sunlight on their faces. She sees a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel, finally.

As far away from the darkness as we can get.

“Are you happy, Scully?” The question takes her off guard.

“Of course I am.” She squeezes his hand. “Where’d that come from?”

He shrugs. “Just been thinking about things since I finished that Bureau case. Our lives have been so different. It’s not easy to slow down like this after so many years of doing what we did. Especially after getting pulled back in like that. It was weird, it was like I’d never left.”

“I understand.” She’s not sure where he’s going with this. “Are you saying you… miss the FBI? Miss the X Files?”

He walks a few paces. “Yes. Sometimes I really do.”

She doesn’t know how to respond to this, so she doesn’t.

He continues. “But I also realized what I miss about it more than anything is you and me, together. Doing our thing. I didn’t have that this time around, and I could feel it. It wasn’t the same without you by my side. We were good, Scully. We were great together.”

“I think we still are, Mulder.”

“I just realized the other day, you and I have now been a couple for longer than we weren’t.”

She does some mental math. “You’re right. Wow, you’re right.” She smiles up at him. “See, those long hours have been put to good use.”

He grins, then stops and faces her. He takes both her hands in his.

“Marry me, Scully.”

It takes her by surprise as always, but she rolls her eyes and squeezes his hands. He’s asked her a dozen times and she always says no. Not because she doesn’t love him, of course. The whole thing just seems so… not them. They’ve done it all already, and most of it backwards. Getting married at this point just seems silly for some reason.

“Mulder, do you even want to get married? It just doesn’t seem like you.”

“I can see why you’d think that, Scully, but the past few years have grown on me. I’ve never really known... normal before. Slowing down hasn’t been easy but I’m starting to feel its effects and it feels pretty good.”

She thinks about this for a minute.

“I really love you, you know,” she says, and squints up at him. He tilts his head down to look at her. It’s something he has to do more often lately, as her hospital job makes wearing high heels a thing of the past.

“And I think you’re the bee’s knees. Isn’t this what normal people do? When they love each other? Get married?”

She sighs, looking down. “We aren’t normal, Mulder, as much as I’d like us to be.”

“But maybe we can start trying to be. We’re free now. We can do whatever we want. We can be whatever we want.”

He tilts her chin up to look at him. “I know it’s your choice to be with me, Scully, and I’ll never stop loving you for that. But it’s not lost on me that you’re in this position because you threw your lot in with me in the first place.”

She doesn’t know what to say to this, so she just hugs him tight, her cheek resting on his chest.

“Is getting married something you want? I mean… say we’d never met. And you’d lived your ‘normal’ life. Would you have said yes to some other guy if he asked you? Is this just a me thing?”

She feels torn. He’s right, she would have said yes to some other guy in some other lifetime. But marriage and Mulder just doesn’t compute to her. She appreciates the gesture, but can she marry him knowing he’s just doing it for her?

Her hesitancy is making this less of a Mulder thing and more of a them thing. She’s not sure how she feels about that.

“I don’t know,” is all she can really think of to say.

“I want to give you everything you want, Scully. I just need you to tell me what that is.”

“But I know it’s not really what you want, Mulder. How can I say yes to something when I know you’re just asking to make me happy?”

“If it makes you happy, then it is what I want. Making you happy is all I’ll ever want.”

Scully’s eyes darken and she pulls back to look up at him. “I don’t believe that. I’m sorry, but I don’t.”

He takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky. It’s as if he feels the weight of it, above them. A siren song that he may never stop hearing. And that date… that cursed, fateful date in December 2012 when the world is supposed to end.

“I know there’s some part of me that will always be searching for something. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you and it certainly doesn’t change the fact that I want to make you happy.”

It’s not that she doesn’t believe him. She knows he loves her, as much as he possibly can, in all the ways he’s ever shown her. She believes he does want to make her happy and will do everything in his power to achieve that.

What she doesn’t believe is that she could ever be enough for him. That she will ultimately fail him in some way, and that eventually, after everything, he will choose his endless quest over her.

This is her greatest fear.

She thinks back to a moment not too long ago in a locker room, when he’d seemed to make that decision with barely a thought. Good luck, he’d said to her, after she’d threatened not to come home. It had been devastating. Not to mention all that “I’d rather die” business. She shudders, thinking about that. It still bothers her.

It’s easy for him to say these hopeful things in moments like this when he’s not actively being pulled back into the darkness. She often worries about what’s next. And adding the element of marriage to their relationship just seems unnecessary, so insignificant to what they actually are and what they mean to each other. He’s her partner, her best friend, her equal, and her everything else.

Could she think of him as a husband? She loves him like a husband, but the term doesn’t really fit him, doesn’t fit everything he is to her. Can he ever actually fill that particular role to her after all they’ve been through together? Does she even want to be his wife?

She curses the absurdity of these thoughts. After wanting something normal for so long, here he is offering it to her and she’s shutting him down.

They have begun walking again. She realizes it’s been awhile since she’s said anything.

“You know, this isn’t just a gesture, Scully. This means something to me. I love you too much to let that go unsaid.”

She smiles, squeezes his hand. Maybe he does mean it after all.

“Maybe.”

He smiles. “I get a ‘maybe?’ Well, that’s progress. I’ll take it.”

“I do love that you keep trying. That makes me happy, Mulder.”

“Noted.”

They’ve come full circle and are back in front of their house. Holding hands, they go inside and Mulder leaves the screen door open to let in the spring air.

MULDER

It’s their very first real vacation together. Not including the countless crappy motel rooms they’ve checked into over the years, of course. After six years on the run they finally have the opportunity to travel without fear of being discovered. This is a real vacation and he’s excited to be on it with her.

The white sand surrounds them, the sky is deep and blue, a couple towels underneath them and a large umbrella above. The hotel where they’re staying has a semi-private beach cove adjoining their room, and aside from a few other hotel residents and a bar several yards down the way, they’re enjoying a modicum of privacy.

The world may be ending in four years but they are here now, and they have each other. They are, quite literally, as far away from the darkness as they could possibly get. He knows it’s exactly where she wants to be. He knows now is the time.

“Hey Scully.”

She’s been lying on her stomach quietly on her towel for the past hour, and he’s been watching her. Gazing at her, one of his favorite pastimes. Studying every curve, every freckle, it all looks so different under the tropical sunlight. He can’t recall a time where they have both been anywhere so vibrant together.

“Mmm?” She sounds half asleep, a margarita buried halfway in the sand completely melted by now. He knows she’s in heaven.

“I want to ask you something.”

He sees one eyebrow go up behind her sunglasses. She slowly pushes them up to her forehead, skeptical as ever. “Yeah?”

He knows she’s expecting him to do it, the same way he always does, casually or with a joke. He does something she’s not expecting. He is, after all, a dark wizard.

He leans over slowly and kisses her, a soft kiss but one with purpose and intent. He props himself up on his elbow, face close to hers.

“I know I’ve kept you in the darkness for a long time, Scully, longer than you deserve. We’ve been through some terrible things together. And because of that I can’t give you the life you always wanted. I’ll always be sorry about that.”

She looks at him, really looks at him. The eyebrow settles and she’s truly listening.

“But I also know that you’ve always wanted to be there with me, no matter what. And knowing that makes me love you more than I could ever express.”

He reaches out and touches her cheek. She couldn’t possibly look any more beautiful than she does right here, in the sunlight, on this beach.

“Maybe you won’t believe me when I tell you you’re more important to me than anything else in my life. Maybe you think finding the truth is more important to me. And I don’t say this lightly, but this time, Scully, I know you’re wrong. You are my truth. And if you let me, I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”

She stares at him for a minute, taking it in. It’s definitely the most he’s ever declared of himself in their entire relationship and she has taken notice.

“I’m not done. Come here.” He helps her up to her feet until they are both standing. She seems a bit self-conscious but lets him. He takes that as a good sign.

“Dana Katherine Scully,” he begins as he slowly drops to one knee, dragging his fingers down her leg along the sand speckled skin. She’s blushing, but smiling, and a few people around on the beach take notice, pointing and smiling.

“My partner, my best friend, my red-headed little-legged goddess, I promise I’ll always let you drive, if you promise to make me the happiest I’ve ever been. Will you marry me?”

She is stunned for a moment, but then smiles again. He’s pleased to see she’s thoroughly impressed.

“Wow, Mulder.”

Somehow he knows he’s done it this time. Her eyes narrow and she pulls him up to his feet. She puts her hands on his chest and looks up into his eyes. In her bare feet it’s an even longer way up.

“Okay,” she smiles.

He hadn’t realized until now how much he’d actually wanted her to say yes, and his heart soars. She raises onto her tiptoes to kiss him and promptly sinks back into the sand, so he scoops her up and lifts her to him, helping her out. She wraps her legs around him and he’s vaguely aware of some scattered applause from the nearby beachgoers as they kiss. Newly engaged.

Eventually he sets her down and grins at her. “How was that for normal?”

“I wouldn’t have said yes if it were any less than perfect,” she smirks.

“Wait- does this mean I can’t call you Scully anymore?”

“Shut up, Mulder.”

He laughs and takes her hand, pulls her towards the beach bar. “Let’s go get a celebratory cocktail.”

She threads her fingers with his and leans against him as they walk. “Sounds good. Then I want to rent one of those boats I saw down by the beach.”

“Whatever you want.”

She smiles. “You row.”

***

“For better or for worse.

As long as we both shall live.”

These are the only words Fox Mulder and Dana Scully speak to each other at their short and sweet nuptials. It’s not like them to be traditional, but they both agree the brevity is apropos, very symbolic of what they mean to each other, and it’s all they need. They’ll have good times, they’ll have bad times, but all they need is to be alive and together. Words can’t quite contain everything they are.

They don’t exchange rings. She decided they were too defining and superfluous. Jewelry can’t quite contain everything they are, either.

No witness is required in the District of Columbia but Margaret Scully is there as their only guest.

When it’s over, they walk out of the Carl Moultrie courthouse hand in hand, him in a charcoal suit, white shirt, and blue striped tie, what she’d picked for him, and her in a navy blue shift, what he’d picked for her. Maggie looks at them with tears in her eyes.

“I’m so happy for you two,” she says, barely containing her emotion. “You’ve always felt like family, Fox. I’m so happy this finally happened.”

“You know, Mrs. Scully, I asked her at least ten times. She always said no.” He chuckles and tugs on his new wife’s hand.

“Dana!” Maggie looks at her, personally offended, and Mulder laughs in response.

“Oh relax, mom,” Scully rolls her eyes. “As if it would have changed a thing.”

“Well,” Maggie responds. “I suppose if you hadn’t waited, I couldn’t have been here to see it. God has a plan for everything, I suppose.” She smiles.

“Sometimes nothing happens for a reason,” Mulder says, glancing over to Scully. She squeezes his hand.

“You two were made for each other, I just know it,” Maggie says. “I’m very happy for you both today.”

They all say their goodbyes and Mulder and Scully decide to go for a stroll in the warm spring air. The National Mall is only a couple blocks from the courthouse so they head in that direction.

“I can’t believe we’re married,” he says.

She looks up at him, smiles. “Me neither. It’s so… boring.”

He lifts her hand to his mouth and kisses it. “Nothing with you could ever be boring.”

“Honestly, Mulder, I’m just excited to be out in the open with you like this. It’s been so many years and it feels like the first time we can really just be ourselves, in front of the world.”

As emphasis, she stops and pulls him in for a kiss. The space around them feels vast, endless, full of people. Business people, families with children, elderly couples, all swarming around them with no earthly idea who they are and how much they’ve been through. Just another normal, boring couple.

He pulls away and looks at her, his hand tucking a piece of her long hair behind her ear. “I can’t really believe we ended up here, after everything. I feel like I don’t deserve any of it.”

“Why do you say that?”

He shakes his head. He shouldn’t have said it. This is a happy day, a blissful day. He doesn’t want to ruin it with heavy shit. He shifts gears.

“Nothing. You’re a catch, Scully. How did I get so lucky?”

She tugs at his hand, starts walking again. “Oh, brother.”

“So, really, can I call you Mulder now? It’ll be hilarious. Just yelling ‘Mulder’ at each other all day long.”

“No, you cannot.”

He laughs. “Fine. Only when I’m very annoyed with you because you won’t give up on some crazy theory and aren’t listening to anything I say. Deal?”

“Sure,” she smiles.

They walk for a couple minutes, just enjoying the day, happier than he could ever have thought possible.

“Agent Scully? Agent Mulder?”

The familiar voice startles him and he turns, looking for its source. A friendly figure strides into view, smiling from ear to ear.

“I thought it was you! Aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes!”

Agent John Doggett.

“Agent Doggett!” Scully exclaims. Mulder has to keep his flight response from acting up, so used to living underground, any contact with anyone from the Bureau had been forbidden. It’s been so long since he’s been called “Agent” anything, he feels removed from himself.

Who is this ‘Agent Mulder’ person?

He has a strange out of body moment where he imagines the way he used to be. The way he no longer can be. He hasn’t felt this uncomfortable in years.

Scully throws her arms around Doggett, happy to see her former partner. “Wow, John, it’s been a long time.”

“It sure has,” Doggett agrees, as she pulls away. “Mulder.” He extends his hand, Mulder shakes it.

“Good to see you, Agent Doggett.”

He looks at them both in their wedding attire, taking it in. “So, you two…?” He trails off, but they both know what he means. Scully takes Mulder’s hand again and looks up at him.

Mulder brings her hand up to his chest possessively. “You actually caught us on our wedding day.”

A surge of pride he hasn’t yet been able to express rises within him. To stand next to this amazing woman out in the public for everyone to see and know she’s his. All those years together, side by side, everybody wondering who exactly they were to each other. No one has to wonder anymore. It’s yet another perk he hadn’t anticipated from this whole “normal” thing and he likes it, a lot.

“Congrats! Well, it took long enough, huh?” He chuckles.

Scully and Mulder share a look, eyebrows raised, and smile. “It sure did. But here we are,” Scully says.

“Here we are.” Doggett shakes his head. “Last time I saw you two you were still running after Mulder’s holy grail. You ever finally track it down?”

Scully takes a deep breath.

“Nope,” Mulder says tightly.

“I guess it doesn’t really matter anyway, right? It’s always going to be something, I guess. You’ll always have something to go chasing after. You’re a lucky man to have this one by your side, Mulder,” he says, gesturing to Scully.

“Yeah, I am,” he agrees. She squeezes his hand.

They all stand there looking at each other a bit awkwardly.

“We’re doing good, John,” Scully says pointedly. “Life is moving on, with or without the holy grail.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You both deserve a little rest, huh?”

“From your mouth to God’s ears,” Scully breathes. Mulder gets the sense she hadn’t really meant to say it out loud. She must discern his discomfort because she gives his hand another squeeze.

“Well, I’ll let you two enjoy the day. As a married couple. Congrats again, huh? You both look great. Hopefully I’ll see you around.”

“Good to see you, John.” Scully nods at him and takes Mulder’s arm with her other hand. Doggett nods, smiles and walks away. And with that, another thread from a past life weaves its way in and out of their existence.

The two of them walk in silence for a couple minutes, Scully holding his hand tightly. He can sense there’s something she wants to say but will not. He wants to ask her but does not.

Doggett’s jab wasn’t said in malice, he knows that. But it stung all the same. He’s been so long removed from his previous identity it’s strange to be associated with it once again. Maybe no matter what he does, this is how he will be remembered? That guy who spent his life chasing aliens and seeking the truth, while his one true love hung around year after year, waiting patiently for him to stop?

But stop what? He doesn’t even know. Stop being himself? He knows that’s not what Scully wants. He knows she fell in love with that Mulder all those years ago. It would be unfair for her to expect him to change. He’s told her this before.

Suddenly he realizes that maybe that’s the problem, maybe that’s been the problem the past few years: he has changed. He’s been idle, restless. Without the FBI he's had very little to do other than occupy his thoughts with things he finds interesting. His work had been his entire life for so long, and now he’s focused on making Scully his entire life. It’s been a pleasant readjustment, but a readjustment nonetheless.

If what he knows about the alien colonization is the truth, they have precious little time to spend with each other. And if it turns out not to be true? Well, he oddly feels like that outcome might be worse. The implications of that aren’t something he’s prepared to deal with.

He looks out across the mall and sees hundreds of people going about their day, oblivious to the knowledge it may all come to an end in just a few short years. He’s envious. Suddenly he feels lost and sad, as if something has been stolen from the two of them. Time itself has been taken away from them, no matter what ends up happening.

He doesn’t want to feel sad, not today. So he pulls Scully down to sit on a bench they are passing and cups her face, kissing her right there in the National Mall, not an hour after they became husband and wife. When they pull apart, she looks at him, smiling, the very same way she did after their very first kiss on a New Year’s Eve so long ago. He could live inside that look.

“What was that for?”

“I don’t want to bring the day down, Scully, but I need to say I regret not doing this sooner.”

“Doing what? Getting married?”

“Well, yeah," he says. "Everything, really. I wish we’d done everything sooner. I wish I’d been braver, I wish I’d taken a chance.”

She listens, just letting him talk.

“I regret ever finding out about 2012. I wish we didn’t know. It’s not fair, having that hanging over our heads when we’re just trying to be happy.”

“Mulder, you can’t let that change anything. As strange as it might feel, we have to just live our lives. And I am happy. Being with you makes me happy.”

“I know that, and I am too. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Is it what Agent Doggett said? Where is this coming from?”

He pauses. “Maybe. I don’t know. He made me feel… not good. I don’t like the way he made me feel.”

“You need to let that go," she says. "He could never understand the extent of what you and I have been through together, all we’ve sacrificed. He was just making a bad joke.”

“Bad joke or not, that’s what he thinks of me. And if that’s what he thinks of me, that’s what other people must think of me. Years removed from the FBI, and I’m still that guy. ”

“Mulder, since when do you care what anyone thinks of you?”

He looks her in the eye. “I care what you think of me.”

She smiles, plays with his tie a bit. “Well, I did just marry you, so I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“Right, but did you marry me because of that? Or in spite of that?” It’s not a question he wants to know the answer to. He doesn’t know why it came out at all.

She stops playing with his tie and sits up straighter, looking him in the eye. “Mulder. I love you. I love every part of you, even the batshit crazy parts that drive everyone around us nuts. They are what make you, you. That guy is who I fell in love with.”

He absorbs this, thinking it’s pretty much a perfect answer. She’s so perfect. How did he get so lucky?

“I meant what I said before,” she continues. “I’m tired of the darkness that follows us everywhere. I feel like that part of our lives is behind us, at least I hope it is, for however long we have. I’m not asking you to change. But I guess I am asking you, the Mulder I love, to evolve as our lives evolve. Do you think that’s unreasonable?”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I guess, I’m just having a little trouble evolving because I’ve lost sight of myself somewhere along the way. I need to figure that out.”

She leans against him, and they stare out across the water, the Washington Monument visible to the left and the Lincoln Memorial to their right. She takes his hand, entwining their fingers. “Well, I’ll be here when you do.”

This thought gives him comfort. She’s always been there, and she always will be. She really is the only truth in his life.

He’d be a fool to fuck this up.

It’s beautiful out, she is beautiful, he is happy. Life is good. He decides to save the regret for another day.

#txf #msr #msr fanfic #fanfiction #mulder and scully #yep they got married #it is known #culmination

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alternateafterthought · 7 years ago

Text

Lost & Found

Finn Balor x Reader

Summary: Finn and Y/N have only ever been friends… except that one time

Warnings: smut…

Word count: 3,998

A/N: I honestly had no idea it was going to go like this… this is like my first serious try at smut and I would love feedback… please and thank you

Y/N had always been looking for something, though never filling knowing what it was she searched. Always seeming to come up short, she never seemed to stop looking.

Y/N then found Finn Balor. He was introverted, hardly made eye contact, drifted into the back, never spoke up, quiet. He was innocent compared to what she had found in the past, kind, strong, Y/N felt something she had not known was even there anymore. Her fingers tingled, her chest became heavy, her stomach in knots, her legs weak… Y/N fell for Finn Balor.

After 8 years of friendship, Y/N and Finn were inseparable for 2 reasons, 1) Finn genuinely liked Y/N’s company… and was completely in love with her, and 2) Y/N seemed to have stop searching for what she was looking for… because unknowingly she had found it.

Tonight after a particularly great weekend of RAW and SmackDown, a group of superstars decided to go out for a drink. Finn sat in a booth with Karl, Luke, Sami, Cesaro, A.J., Seth, Dean, Neville and Kevin, laughing at some slightly drunken words being thrown around. He wasn’t usually one to be with a massive group, considering the superstars ranged over 6 of the massive booths, plus scattered throughout the bar. One thing keeping him sane was the sight of Y/N dancing with a group of the girls.

Y/N had become great friends with the people Finn worked with, even though she wasn’t a wrestler. And tonight was testimony to that as she danced with Naomi, Lana and Renee. Since they had arrived, none of them had been off the dance floor, only for a quick bathroom break were they continued to dance anyway. It was close to 2am now and they were somehow still going strong, laughing and dancing, and essentially showing off because tonight they could.

“Finn I got a question…” Kevin asked.

“Yeah?” The man in question bought his attention away from a dancing Y/N back to the table.

“You and Y/N, man… what’s up with that?” Kevin took a sip of his beer.

“Let’s not do this.” Karl said from Finn’s right with a laugh.

“What? Is it that bad?” Sami asked.

“No, I’ve just… lived the story.” Karl laughed, looking at Finn who smirked over his beer.

“Hey boys.” Y/N’s voice caught them by surprise. She stood with the girls at the end of the booth. “We were thinking…”

“You wanna get something to eat?” Finn shook his head laughing.

“Well if your offering.” Y/N laughed as she turned to the girls. “We good to go?”

“Yeah, I’ll go get Jimmy.” Naomi smiled.

“I’ll come with. I gotta get Rusev.” Lana caught up to Naomi.

“Can we go get a cheeseburger or something?” Renee asked as she leaned against Y/N, smiling at Dean.

“Yeah I could do with a cheeseburger.” Dean finished off his beer before standing.

“That sounds like heaven right now.” Y/N laughed as she leaned back into Renee.

Everyone in the booth got up as they all started to move out of the bar. Naomi and Lana caught up to Renee and Y/N as they started to walk down the crowed street. The guys trailed behind closely to the girls who seemed to be dancing and laughing and singing still, not stopping their good mood.

After finding a 24 hour diner, the girls sat down in a small booth, being joined by Bayley and Sasha as the boys fanned our over 4 other booths. Getting orders in quickly, everyone was sat with a drink, waiting for their food to come up. And it seemed everyone was almost having the same conversations.

“So Y/N,” Renee said from next to her. “You didn’t answer our question.”

Y/N laughed a little, knowing this conversation had been coming for months now and she couldn’t run. Sipping her soda, trying to think of some way to change the conversation or give as little answer as she could.

“What did you want to know?” She asked, thinking it was safer instead of telling a whole story.

“Have you and Finn ever been a thing?” Naomi asked from across from her.

“No. We’ve never been a couple.” Y/N said.

“Have you ever wanted to be?” Bayley asked next.

“I mean… I’ve never seen him as a brother.” Y/N shrugged to the girls giggles.

“So you would totally be with him?” Lana asked.

“Um… I don’t know.” Y/N answered truthfully. “I mean I’ve never really thought about it since-“

Y/N cut herself off, eyes growing wide as she realised what she was about to say. Looking at each girl, they were all trying to think of someway that sentence was going to end. Moving in on herself, Y/N picked up her soda again, all of a sudden becoming completely immersed in the drink.

“So something has definitely happened?” Renee asked giddy.

“Oh look, our foods coming.” Y/N sent a quick prayer and thanks to the heavens before burgers were placed in front of everyone, who immediately started to eat.

“You’re not getting out of this.” Sasha laughed next to Bayley. “We all need to know what happened now.”

“Come on.” Renee spoke from next to her. “You can tell us.”

Y/N looked around the booth, each girl smiling back, wanting to know every detail. Shaking her head laughing, Y/N looked down at her half eaten plate.

“It was back in Japan. 2012.” Y/N leaned back against her seat.

“Wow, how long have you two known each other again?” Bayley asked, her mouth full of fries.

“We met in 2009.” I remembered with a laugh. “So 8 years.”

“Geez.” Naomi breathed. “8 years and you two haven’t gotten married yet?”

All the girls started to laugh then, even Y/N, catching everyone’s attention in the small diner. The girls laughter was loud, carefree and only started to slow down when they were wiping away tears. Everyone knew Y/N and Finn fought and protected each other like a married couple, so picturing them married was so hard. And the alcohol in their system seemed to find it funny.

“Yes, 8 years and no ring.” Y/N put up her left hand, showing then a ring-less finger with a laugh.

“That bastard.” Bayley said with a smirk.

“We’ll have to beat it out of him.” Renee laughed.

“So, Japan. 2012. What happened?” Lana asked.

“Um…” Y/N looked down again with a smile.

“Obviously something good happened. Look at that smile.” Naomi pointed to Y/N.

“Well I should start with, I never saw him like that when I meet him.” Y/N sat a little straighter. “I’m 6 years younger then Finn, so when I meet him I was only 22, he was 28.”

“That’s not too bad. 6 years is okay.” Sasha spoke.

“It felt like we were from completely different worlds the next 2 years or so.” Y/N laughed. “I mean he looked young, he acted like he was 12.”

“Don’t all guys act like children until like 40?” Lana asked.

“Yes.” Naomi answered quickly, causing us to laugh.

“So for a while we were just friend. Karl and Luke looked after me like older brothers so dating was out of the question.” Y/N laughed. “And I don’t know what happened… we were at a sponsors dinner, we were bored so we skipped out and just hung out. We walked around Tokyo all night, drinking the few bottles of champagne we stole.” Y/N thought back to that night. “It was late, like 4am or something and we had somehow found our way back to the apartment building we were staying in. And then something happened.”

“And what’s that?” Renee asked.

“He kissed me.” Y/N laughed a little. “I was so shocked but I didn’t stop him.” She looked up to the girls who laughed a little with her. “That night we had a deal…”

“A deal?” Lana asked.

“Yeah… once we walked through my door, no strings attached. And after he walks back out my door, everything goes back to normal.” Y/N spoke.

“So you spent the night together?” Naomi asked.

“Um…” Y/N laughed, blushing.

“More then just a night?” Renee asked.

“Yeah…” Y/N laughed. “3 days…”

A few things happened then, Bayley started to choke on some food, Sasha and Lana spat soda, Naomi laughed loudly then covered her mouth. Renee stared wide eye at Y/N, almost in disbelief.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“3 days? What about a bathroom?” She asked.

“I had an ensuite.” Y/N shrugged.

“Food?” Naomi asked.

“I had Karl or Luke bring me food. They thought I was sick.” Y/N laughed.

“3 days?” Bayley asked. “How?”

“What can I say?” Y/N shrugged. “The man works on his stamina.”

The girls started to laugh loudly again, hands hitting the table, tears falling, clapping, echoing laughter. Each girl tried to breath through the laughter, holding onto stomachs, trying to look away, but then someone else would start laughing and it was the end of that.

The boys looks at the girls, trying to figure out what was so funny. Only hearing snorts and weird sounds as they all continued to laugh. Having taken up half the diner, they were the only ones there, except what seemed like a small half of a football team. They had their eyes on the small booth of girls since they walked in and looked to be finally making their move.

Finn watched very closely as Y/N and Renee moved out of the booth. Still laughing slightly they swayed a little as they walked towards the bathrooms. Before they could get to the bathrooms, a couple of the guys stopped them. Finn watched as they talked, one or two of the guys getting close to Y/N or touching her, and he could feel Dean started to plot how he’d get Renee away before he tried to kill one of them.

“Oh sorry boys, I’m married.” Renee said loud enough for everyone to hear, showing her ring.

“What about you sweetheart? No ring.” One of the guys pointed out, pulling her hand slightly.

“No ring. But I do have a boyfriend.” Y/N held up her free hand behind her back and gave Finn, Luke and Karl a sign they hadn’t seen in years.

“He doesn’t have to know.” The guy tries to push, stepping closer.

“But he would know. Considering he’s here and all.” Y/N smiled, pulling her hand from the guy.

“I haven’t seen you with a guy all night.” The guy pushed.

Rolling her eyes, Y/N turned away from the group, and made eye contact with Finn. Smiling, she watched as Karl and Luke stood and made their way to the girls table to tell them we were going. Taking Renee’s hand, Y/N moved close to the boys table, nodding to Renee to go with Dean.

Everyone stopped in that moment, watching Y/N move closer to Finn who sat with AJ, Cesaro and Sami. Smiling at the other guys, Y/N moved around their table as Finn moved his chair out a little, enough room for her to sit on his lap. Y/N moved her hands to Finn’s jaw before leaning in and planting a soft kiss on his lips.

“Hey babe.” Y/N smiled leaning back a little. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s get outta here.” Finn kissed Y/N quickly on the lips again before she stood and offered her hand.

Intertwining their fingers, they turned to the stunned looks of everyone who finally clicked and started to move. Walking out the door, Y/N and Finn’s hands stayed locked, even as they all walked back to the hotel. No one questioned what was going on, no one pointed out the fact they still held hands.

“Aw Man…” Y/N stopped outside the hotel, causing a few to stop.

“What’s wrong?” Finn asked.

“I still really need to pee.” Y/N laughed.

“I know so do I.” Renee said from under Dean’s arm.

“My room is like on the 12th floor.” Y/N looked up the massive building.

“Hey isn’t yours on the 8th floor?” Karl asked Finn.

“Yeah just go use Finn’s.” Luke shrugged as he started to walk away.

“My room is closer.” Finn nodded as he looked at Y/N.

“Okay, but let’s go now. My bladder hates me.” Y/N spoke as she grabbed Finn’s hand and walked quickly to the elevators.

Drying her hands, Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, having completely sobered up. She looked tired, but she didn’t feel tired, more along the lines of… maybe she needed to cuddle someone. Maybe she could ask Finn if he wanted to cuddle until she fell asleep?

“You alright in there?” Finn yelled through the closed door.

“Yeah.” Y/N opened the door.

Finn took a step back from the bathroom door, giving Y/N a once over. Smiling softly, he moved around the bed to sit on a chair, taking his shoes off. He watched as Y/N sat on the end of his bed, looking around the room.

“Grab a shirt in my suitcase over there.” Finn motioned his head to his suitcase. “You can stay the night.”

Smiling at Finn’s words, Y/N moved quickly, taking one of Finn’s soccer shirts from his suitcase. She took her small bag off and sat it next to his phone and wallet before changing her shirt with his. Taking out a pair of shorts from Finn’s suitcase as well, Y/N got comfortable, leaving her shoes, jeans, shirt and bra in a small pile next to his suitcase.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled at Finn as she jumped onto his bed.

“I figured you’d want to stay.” Finn chuckled as he took his shirt off.

“Well what are best friends for?” Y/N laughed.

“Right.” Finn gave a forced laugh, taking off his jeans.

Before Finn could get into bed, a knock made them both look at the door in the dimly lit room. Laying down completely in the massive bed, Finn shook his head laughing at Y/N. Heading to the door as the person knocked again.

“Oh hey man, what’s up?” Finn asked opening the door.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Karl spoke.

“I’m good.” Finn nodded.

“You sure?” Karl asks.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Finn asked.

“You know, everything with Y/N.” Luke leaned against the wall next to the door. “We figured after Y/N kissing you before, you’d turn into that love sick fool that stares at photos of her until one day she realises you’re in love with her.”

“What?!” Finn’s eyes went wide and turned around to see Y/N sitting up in his bed listening.

“Fuck.” Karl swore.

“We’re gonna go.” Luke grabbed Karl’s shoulder as they practically ran down the corridor to their own rooms.

Closing the door firmly, Finn leaned his head against the the door taking a deep breath. Turning around, Finn saw that Y/N hadn’t moved an inch, still staring into space, sitting up. He walked slowly towards her, flushed bright red.

“You love me?” Y/N finally asked.

“I… You know…” Finn breathed deeply again. “Well, yeah.”

“Why?” Y/N looked into his eyes.

“Really? Why?” Finn asked. “After 8 years, you have to ask me why I love you?”

“I mostly just want to hear you say it.” Y/N shrugged.

“I love you… because the first person I think about waking up is you, I usually can’t wait to see you, knowing full well you’re always smiling and happy to see me. I love that you see me… and not the demon.” Finn stood in front of Y/N who listened completely. “Ever since Japan…”

“I know.” Y/N smiled. “Let’s make another deal.”

“No… I can’t-“

“Just hear me out.” Y/N sat on her knees, grabbing his hands. “If this happens tonight… I won’t be able to quit you. Not again.” Y/N leaned up closer. “So we have 2 options. 1… I put my clothes back on and go to my room and that’s it…” Y/N looked back into Finn’s blue ones.

“And 2?” Finn whispered leaning in.

“After we leave this room tomorrow… I’m yours completely.” Y/N’s lips were so close to Finn’s now.

“You know what that means right? If we leave this room together-“

“Shhhh.” Y/N placed a hand over Finn’s mouth, her other hand trailing down his abs. “I know what it means. And I know what I want.” Y/N’s hand moved into Finn’s boxers, gripping his cock. “I love you.”

Y/N’s hand stayed over Finn’s mouth as she gently stroked him, pressing her forehead against his as she watched him close his eyes. Climbing off the bed, Y/N pushed Finn back until his back was against the wall, finally moving her hand from his mouth to trail down his chest and abs.

“I’m gonna show you, just how much.” Y/N whispered as she sunk to her knees.

She kept stroking him, her other hand pulling his boxers down to pool at his ankles. Stroking a few more time softly, Y/N looked up into Finn’s eyes, her free hand tracing her nails up his thigh, creating goosebumps. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, Y/N leaned in and kept eye contact as she licked from the base of his dick to the tip.

“Holy fuck.” Finn whispered as his arms hung by his sides.

Y/N moved a little closer to be more comfortable as she took the head of Finn’s dick in the mouth. Not waist any time as she started to bob her head, mouth taking more and more of him. Out of instinct, Finn’s hips moved with her, his arms finally working again as he held her hair back and watched Y/N take him fully.

“Fuck. I almost forgot how good you were.” Finn breathed.

Y/N cupped his balls, taking him completely into her mouth as she started to gag. But that didn’t stop her, Finn kept thrusting his hips, his dick hitting the back of Y/N’s throat as she slurped and gagged around him. Holding her hair back, Finn watched as Y/N continued to take him in her mouth, her eyes watering slightly as she gagged in his cock.

Coming up for air, Y/N stroked Finn’s cock a few times before wrapping her lips around the head again. Not taking him completely this time, Y/N sucked on the head of him as her hand worked the base of Finn’s dick. Head thrown back, Finn’s eyes were tightly shut as he lost himself completely in Y/N.

Finn’s eyes only opened again when Y/N took him completely again into her warm mouth. Choking and gagging and slurping around his cock again.

“Holy fuck.” Finn whispered. “Fuck…”

Y/N stood then, moving back as she wiped the sides of her mouth. Stepping around the bed, she tore off the shirt she worse and stepped out of the boxers too as Finn followed her around the bed. Once at the chair Finn sat on earlier, Y/N moved to let him sit on it once again. Grabbing his hands and placing them on her boobs as she dropped her panties to her ankles.

Pushing Finn back into the chair, Y/N leaned forward and finally connected their lips in a searing kiss. Teeth clashed, until they found a rhythm, hands moved against each other. Y/N moved back, as Finn sat up straight in the chair, turning around, Finn’s hands gripped Y/N’s waist as he moved his dick to her opening. Not wasting time like they had in the past, Y/N sunk onto Finn’s dick, taking him in hard.

“Oh fuck.” Y/N threw her head back as Finn stretched her open. “Holy fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“You okay?” Finn asked from behind her.

“Yeah.” Y/N laughed a little. “I forgot how big you were.”

“Sorry I should-“

“No, baby…” Y/N rotated her hips. “Never apologise for being Big.”

“Shit.” Finn’s grip on her waist became harder. “Move please.”

Without another word, Y/N began to bounce, slamming back down onto Finn. It was slow at first, Y/N the one bouncing, gripping the arms of the chair as she moaned.

“Oh my god.” Y/N moaned. “Yes.”

“Fuck.” Finn’s grip became feral as he held her still and started to thrust into her harder.

“Oh god. Fuck. Yes.” Y/N continued to moan.

Stopping, Finn moved Y/N’s head back and kissed her before whispering; “Get on the bed.”

Not wanting to waste time, Y/N crawled over the bed, earring a slap on the ass from Finn. Turning around, Y/N sat up and grabbed Finn’s face as she bought him in for another kiss. He kneeled on the bed between her legs as his hand rubbed her clit. Y/N moaned into his mouth, pulling at Finn’s hair as his body covered hers.

“Please don’t tease me. I can’t. Not tonight.” Y/N whispered to Finn.

Pushing her shoulders down, Finn spread Y/N’a legs as wide as he could, lifting one of her legs over his shoulder before moving the tip of his dick over Y/N’s clit. Hips thrusting up a little, Finn held Y/N down before sinking into Y/N once again. He moved a little slower this time, feeling every thing, letting her feel all of him.

“Oh god.” Y/N moaned. “Please don’t hold back.”

Finn moved quicker now, and harder, pounding into Y/N. Short breaths left Y/N’a lips as Finn hit the right spots, never letting her catch her breath.

“Rub your clit.” Finn whispered to Y/N. “I need you to cum.”

Y/N moved her hand down her body, until she reached her clit. Rubbing at her clit, she threw her head back and swore, feeling her high coming.

“Yes, just like that.” Finn said.

“Oh god…” Y/N have choked. “I’m cumming. Oh god I’m cumming.”

Finn��s pace seem to quicken, his hand taking over rubbing her clit as unforgiving as he pounded into her. Not far behind her Finn came, short spirts of cum filling Y/N completely as she withered and moaned.

Coming to a halt, Finn let Y/N’s leg down from his shoulder, but he didn’t pull out of her just yet. Instead opting to lay down on her, his head buried into her neck as she softly stroked her fingertips down his back. Breathing normally again, Finn pulled out of Y/N and moved off her.

“No, come back.” Y/N reached for him.

“Just let me clean you up, and I promise I won’t leave this bed until you do.” Finn kissed Y/N lightly.

Getting a towel, Finn cleaned as much as he could off of Y/N and himself, before throwing the towel back into the bathroom. Once back in the bed, Y/N rolled straight over into Finn’s arms, lying half on top of him. Finn trailed his fingertips up and down Y/N’s spine, holding her closer to him with the other as they slowly started to fall asleep together.

“Y/N?” Finn whispered into the dark.

“Yeah?” Her warm breath fanned over his chest.

“You’ll be here when I wake up, right?” Finn’s fears getting the best of him.

“Finn Balor…” Y/N smiled as she looked up a little into his eyes. “You can’t get rid of me that easy. I am not letting you go another day with me.”

“I love you.” Finn kissed Y/N’s lips lightly, lying back down.

“Now there’s one thing left to do.” Y/N smirked.

“And what’s that?” Finn asked.

“Well after everyone finds out about us…” Y/N closed her eyes and got comfortable. “You might want to start looking for a ring, or the girls might go on a head hunt.”

Finn moved a little, leaning over to the draw and pulling something out.

“You mean like this one?” He held in front of Y/N. “I’ve had it since Japan.”

“Finn…” Y/N stared shocked.

“I always knew it was going to be you…” Finn smiled. “I just never knew when.”

“Now and forever.” Y/N smiled as he slipped the ring onto her finger. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Finn whispered.

For the first time in years, Y/N drifted off to sleep knowing she had found everything in life. In the arms of her entire world.

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thesportssoundoff · 6 years ago

Text

Trying To Figure Out The ESPN+ Debut Card

Joey

October 22nd, 2018

The UFC's debut on Fox is pretty well documented; a rushed on paper, disastrous in reality debut that probably set them up for this long up and down rollercoaster with way more downs than ups in the grand scheme of things. They moved a big money title fight off of a PPV in ONE California market to go to ANOTHER California market. They rolled with one fight, putting Bendo vs Clay Guida (a #1 contender fight) on basically a remote internet stream with the likes of Cub Swanson and Joey Beltran. The reality is that everything that could've gone wrong ultimately did go wrong for the UFC and some would say they never recovered.

On the other hand, the UFC's debut on FS1 was a total success. Despite being down to its third (fourth maybe?) option for a main event, the UFC's debut on FS1 featured just the right amount of big names, just the right amount of marquee fights and JUST the right amount of high profile performances to be a success on all metrics. It was a gate hit, a big hit with the ratings and helped launch careers for dudes who are still major marquee attractions today like Conor McGregor. In many ways, it revived the career of Chael Sonnen as well after getting finished two fights in a row. It took everything the UFC did WRONG for it's Fox debut and corrected it and granted, it also had the benefit of nearly two years worth of tinkering.

The UFC's debut on ESPN+ will probably not fall on either of those tiers. This is not going to get, I figure, the big UFC on Fox treatment. Similarly, it's probably not going to get the level of attention and care that the FS1 launch show got. Remember the UFC's not trying to establish a presence on a new network with a major event nor is it trying to launch a start up sports channel. In my estimation, the UFC and ESPN+ is a marriage of convenience on an platform that probably will greatly benefit from UFC content----but doesn't exactly need it. The UFC is giving ESPN's subscription service up to 30 shows a year which is absurd if you think about it. The UFC is going to give ESPN+ 30 nights of content and when you work out the math of how many weekends there are in a year crosschecked by how many shows the UFC is providing PLUS 12 PPVs? It sure feels like this is about quantity and not quality.

That in turn sets me up to the UFC's debut on FX. At the time, the long play was the UFC moving to FS1 when that was ready to go which is why the UFC agreed to basically give away shows on what was then Fuel. The short play was to just try and drown viewers at home with content on FX. Remember that for the time the UFC was on FX, there wasn't much in the way of consistent programming. There were test shows on different days/nights/hours to see what would stick and what wouldn't stick; shows on Wednesday, back to backs on Friday and Saturday and at least flirtations with events on Sunday. FX was the content home of the UFC but the quality was hit or miss, sometimes even feeling like that was the case by design. In fact let's just take a quick peek at the UFC's debut on FX from January 20th, 2012:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UFC_on_FX:_Guillard_vs._Miller

Of the main card, only ONE fighter remains in the UFC; Jim Miller.

Four of the eight main card fighters were coming off a win in the UFC previously; Josh Neer, Mike Easton, Christian Morecraft and Duane Ludwig with just TWO of those guys

The ONLY fighter to fight for a title off of that show; Khabib Nurmagomedov in his UFC debut

Of the prelim slate; only two of the losers wound up fighting in the UFC again (Pat Schilling and Kamal Shalarus)

Not an impressive showing from the UFC. The UFC's first foray onto Fight Pass is equally disappointing although to their credit, the reason that card even wound up on Fight Pass was that Fox didn't want it and they had trouble shopping it around to other avenues to hold the event. That plus the incoming WWE Network led to UFC Fight Pass and a show that's...well:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/UFC_Fight_Night:_Saffiedine_vs._Lim

It's not AS bad I suppose. Kyung Ho Kang, Max Holloway, Hyun Gyu Lim, Mairbek Taisumov and ever Strasser Kichi all had good runs. Even Macho Bang gave us the first ever acknowledged fixed fight in the past like 5-10 years!

The whole point of this insane history lesson is to try and pinpoint what the UFC's first card on ESPN+ will look like. We have a brief glimpse into what it might look like for ESPN; PVZ vs Rachael Ostovich is officially a go go, rumors of Wonderboy vs Lawler continue to float around and Romero vs Costa is apparently in the works for the same event. With four fights scheduled for the main card, everything else after that is pretty much just eye wash. We can tell they're going to go all out and with rumors of TJ vs Cejudo happening in January at whatever PPV that might be plus Colby vs Woodley, we can kind of see what their PPV outlook might be as well. With shows in Brazil and Korea planned for February, it sure seems like the UFC has some international draws they're going to be using elsewhere right?

Given I'm the mock guy here, I figure I'd mock up what I would do if I was planning my first ESPN+ card! We have no date and no locale but that's not gonna stop me! One thing of note before we lead into this deal is that the head of the UFC's international stuff whose name absolutely escapes me said recently that ESPN+ cards will still have main card and prelim slates because they air internationally. If you've ever watched a Fight Pass card you know that the international set up for those best resembles what you'd get from old school UFC events (4 fight main card with an endless assortment of prelims).

Ready when y'all are:

Main Event Middleweight Darren Till vs Anderson Silva

The immediate thought process is "I imagine the UFC promised ESPN+ a title fight of some kind!" but I'd imagine the title fights that fit the bill off the jump are booked up. We've got Cejudo vs Dillashaw in 2019, Rose is expected to be out a bit longer into 2019, Colby vs Woodley is going on PPV and so what remains is a quick turnaround at 125 lbs or an interim 185 lb title fight. Probably not happening either way. We KNOW Anderson Silva is coming back in January since he confirmed it recently. The UFC clearly has no problem rolling Anderson out onto Fight Pass since they twice were set to do so; once vs Bisping (which we got) and once vs Kelvin Gastelum (which got nixed). ESPN+ is bigger than Fight Pass by any conceivable metric imaginable so we're not out of the realm of possibility to think that he could fight on ESPN+. With Till likely back sooner than later and Anderson Silva confirming his own return date, why not? The general argument would be that nobody in the US knows who Till is and I get that but Anderson is still pretty popular no matter what metric you use (he was probably the rare "co-main that outdraws the main" when he helped Holly and GDR do 200K buys in Jan of last year) so why not? Darren Till is coming off his highest profile fight yet (in a loss but still) and if he's serious about 185 lbs then there's no more high profile fight than he vs Anderson Silva. It's a good way to get him back on the horse in a big way while giving ESPN+ a big high profile main event.

Co-Main Event Featherweight Cub Swanson vs Jeremy Stephens

Riding a three fight losing streak, I think we're officially into the "Now Cub Swanson gets really good again" territory. Similarly Jeremy Stephens saw all of his momentum come to a screeching halt vs Jose Aldo in a genuinely fun first round battle that saw both dudes get rocked. Two top 10 FWs on the wrong side of 30 and coming off a loss? Sounds like a totally fair match up to me. This IS a rematch from 2014 when Swanson seemed to be crawling ever so closely to title shot contention and Stephens was coming off wins over Darren Elkins and Rony Jason. Both fighters might not have improved much since then but we at least can assume Swanson has declined JUST enough to put this fight into a more reasonable territory for both guys. Winner stays relevant and loser has to make the choice between sticking around and switching weight classes I guess.

Strawweight Mackenzie Dern vs JJ Aldrich

I'm still of the belief that there is an audience for Mackenzie Dern out there. It IS very concering that Mackenzie Dern went to the UFC Performance Institute in July or so to get cleared to resume her career at 115 lbs----and still hasn't emerged in any capacity yet. Dern is who she is; a natural athlete and tremendous fighter instinctually who has zero commitment to MMA. That doesn't matter since coasting as an elite athlete is what makes MMA what it is. JJ Aldrich is on a three fight winning streak, trains with Rose Namajunas and is one of those tough gritty grinder-y types who Dern should be able to run through if she cares.

Lightweight Jim Miller vs Nik Lentz

I'm not 100% sold that Miller's last performance is a sign that he's "back" or whatever the case may be. I like Jim Miller though and coming off a win, he's got relevance in this division again. The man with arguably the toughest resume in LW history vs Nik Lentz coming off a devastating destructive KO of Gray Maynard feels like a fun enough fight, especially considering both guys are coming off finishes. This is the sort of fight you go "That hasn't happened yet?" and then scratch your head.

Prelims

Lightweight Charles Oliveira vs David Teymur

If it's true that the UFC had the choice of an unbooked David Teymur vs bringing in a guy off a card and they chose the latter (James Vick) to face Justin Gaethje then I'm beginning to wonder if they're a touch confused as to what they have with Teymur. He came in hot as a tremendous kickbocking talent knocking dudes out but has slowed into a more methodical consistent paint by the numbers striker who utilizes fantastic footwork and range. That gets you wins (and Teymur has been fantastic vs guys like Drakkar Klose and Nik Lentz) but it can also cost you momentum in a 155 lb scene where finishes make you sparkle. Oliveira vs Teymur feels like a fun little striker vs grappler match up and both guys are on hot streaks. I would view this as similar to a mid card FS1 fight on a PPV card which makes it a perfectly fine "prelim headliner" (for international fans) for this card.

Welterweight Diego Sanchez vs Peter Sobotta

I'll take "Fights that probably should've happened in like 2011" for 500. Peter Sobotta's UFC second UFC run is the world's biggest most absurd smoke and mirrors run in history. The only win who remains in the UFC is Ben Saunders although who knows how much longer Killa B will be actively competing for. The losses were borderline non-competitive blowouts vs Kyle Noke and Leon Edwards where Sobotta was stopped pretty much at the horn. Sanchez just won so he's going to continue fighting so you might as well use him I guess. Feel like this is a SAFE fight for both dudes.

Heavyweight Stefan Struve vs Junior Albini

With the UFC apparently heading overseas in February, this fight might be better off elsewhere (Europe? Brazil?) but with Albini and Struve on losing skids and neither one looking too hot on the process, this feels like the perfect little "Okay so who wants to actually fight more?" type deal. Struve vs Arlovski would make sense to if you want to keep putting poor Andrei through such abuse.

Featherweight Gabriel Benitez vs Rick Glenn

The man known as "Moggly" has probably been, at least for my money, the most surprising talent out of TUF LAM Season 1. The somewhat raw Benitez has faced the likes of Enrique Barzola, Andre Fili, Jason Knight and capable vets like Sam Sicilia and Clay Collard while somehow bringing back a winning record in the process. The logjam at 145 lbs suggests there's really no rush in ascending him but Benitez vs Rick Glenn sounds like a fair enough fight for both guys. Glenn is coming off a "win" vs Dennis Bermudez and is at the very least a capable competent mid tier featherweight who can outmuscle and outheart dudes. It's a pretty fair fight for Benitez all things considered.

Lightweight Desmond Green vs Clay Guida

Poor Des Green. Maybe this was always destined to be his lot in life/the UFC but thus far he's the guy they task with giving tough fights to tough guys overseas who wind up missing weight on him. Coming off a game effort vs an overweight Mairbek Taisumov, Green deserves an easy touch. The problem is there really isn't a such thing as one unless yer dusting off the remains of some old fogey and I'm not about to do that to anybody. Instead give me Green vs Clay Guida who is still pretty damn solid despite coming off a loss to Charles Oliveira in a fight he just blindly rushed into a guillotine for.

Women's Strawweight Livia Souza vs Angela Hill

Y'all cool with running this one back? The first fight was pretty good and I think Hill has officially solidified herself as a good strawweight who has some room to grow but is probably always going to linger in the lower half of the top 10/15. Souza is coming off a dominant easy win over Alex Chambers where she wasn't tested much/at all. This feels like a fair enough fight for both ladies and I'd imagine anybody who saw the first one won't get hurt with seeing a rematch.

Women's Bantamweight Lucie Pudilova vs Gina Mazany

It feels like the UFC has about 12 women's bantamweights on their roster tops. Mazany and Pudilova are both coming off losses (of different quality of course), tend to stay active and the winner will find a spot.

#MMA #UFC #ESPN+#Anderson Silva #Darren Till

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shekillsher · 5 years ago

Text

Speed Control Essential In Protecting Against Auto Mishaps

And this is what usually brings about crashes. The effect is also much more severe if it leads to a crash. While the financial cost of car mishaps is astonishing, it's nothing compared to the emotional influence it can have on the individuals that are straight impacted by a crash. It's estimated that in terms of financial loss and social damage, auto accident set you back the UNITED STATE 23. How much do alcohol-related collisions set you back? 4. The amount of accidents include residential or commercial property damages just? Mostly, accidents including damages to building are extra usual than those that bring about deaths or injuries. 14. What state reports the most auto accident fatalities? Presuming you have actually not obtained to purchase the taxi then a more advantage is that in Uganda, vehicles are favored assets to use as security for obtaining owing to the fluidity of the used auto market. Seat belt usage can lower the odds of an accident turning deadly, however it's not a guarantee. The stats we found do have a positive side, however, since the probabilities of being harmed or killed in a crash seem to be continuing on a downward slide. They spoke for some time as well as she found him very eye-catching.

Research study suggests automobile mishap happens 12 times more typically while chatting than texting. When a driver slows down a cars and truck down also quickly, the chauffeur in the automobile behind often times does not have sufficient time to reduce down or stop and faces the back of the lorry in the lead. In 2013, damaged drivers were almost 4 times as most likely to be included in a mishap during the night versus the daytime. In 2013, 32,719 individuals lost their lives in a vehicle accident, which is 3.1% less than the previous year. Of the fatal mishaps that happened in 2013, 73% of people that utilized restrictions endured but the staying 27% weren't so fortunate. When driving under the impact of alcohol causes a casualty, it's the individual behind the wheel that tends to pay the rate. Based upon the most current data offered, it's estimated that someone is eliminated in an automobile crash (where alcohol figured in) every 52 minutes. After assessing one of the most current auto accident information, we looked at just how crash, injury as well as fatality rates have transformed with time. Automobile Accident Death Photos as well as Tale? 200,000 - Chicago Auto Accident. In 2013, 4,735 pedestrians were eliminated in a vehicle accident as well as one more 66,000 were hurt.

Around 10,076 individuals were eliminated in alcohol-related accidents in 2013. These fatalities represented 31% of all deadly automobile crashes that were reported that year. While fatalities as well as injuries are most typical among passengers and also vehicle drivers, those outside the vehicle are also in jeopardy. Any kind of good vehicle mishap attorney will certainly tell you that the most effective method to avoid requiring his solutions is to do some research study and find an auto that will certainly maintain its passengers secure. When you report to your insurance companies, tell them the entire truth! And also nobody - but for the entire firm! When you have actually shed a liked one in a deadly automobile crash, you have a right to anticipate compensation from the at-fault motorist's insurance policy firm. When it's time to present your clinical documents to the insurer as evidence, your individual injury legal representative will certainly do so. The consequences of negligence when pedestrians exist can be horrible, also lethal. Driving while intoxicated can cause some significant lawful effects if you wind up getting pulled over. While most spouses will definitely concur that guys are a lot more aggressive motorists it may not be so clear cut. Yes, some scientists think the explanation for the better number of deaths among males is connected to the hormonal agents which produce aggressive habits, however other factors make up the stats.

While the variety of vehicle mishaps that occur every year is sneaking up, casualties are in fact on the decrease. Males have been revealed to do 65% more driving on an annual basis than women do while ladies often tend to drive on much shorter journeys and have numerous even more small accidents than men. Caution labels on lots of pill bottles warn of the threats of operating machinery while under their influence. However, what is genuinely affecting concerning these crashes is the reality that they have the exact same usual causes, which are high speeds, driving intoxicated of alcohol or other materials and also exhaustion driving. Among these steps is to reduce the permitted blood alcohol focus (BAC) from 100 mg/dl to 80 mg/dl. 25 In 2016, 15 percent of chauffeurs ages 15-20 that were involved in fatal crashes had a blood alcohol concentration of 0.08 or higher. Thirty percent of casualties where alcohol was a variable took place on the weekend break, as well as 40% of those were reported between the hrs of 6 pm as well as 5:59 am. In 2014, alcohol was a variable in 6,815 mishaps and also speed was a consider 14,495 mishaps. 15. Just how commonly is alcohol an element in web traffic deaths?

Speed was supposedly a factor in 9,613 of the fatal accidents that occurred in 2013. That's 29% of all casualties. 7. Exactly how usually is rate a factor in fatal accidents? Making use of information from the National Freeway Website Traffic Safety Management and also the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety And Security, we were able to round up the 23 most surprising as well as revealing stats on automobile crashes in the UNITED STATE 3. Exactly how many people are wounded in car accidents? Another 2,313,000 people suffered some kind of injury in link with an automobile accident in 2013. Compared to 2012, that's a decrease of 2.1%, or concerning 49,000 individuals. Thirty-five percent of all lethal mishaps involving rate reported in 2013 happened along minor roads. A total amount of 1,149 children aged 14 or more youthful passed away as a result of a website traffic accident in 2013. Approximately 200 of those fatalities, or 17%, entailed a driver that suffered at the time the accident occurred. If the other chauffeur or chauffeurs leave the scene without giving information. February was the best month for drivers in 2013, with simply 6% of all deadly mishaps reported. Texas reported the biggest share of fatal car mishaps involving an impaired driver in 2013, with 1,337 fatalities.

It might show that a fine such as a fine or reduction of points has been or will be analyzed versus the driver. As per the short article, the driver suffered fatal injury in the mishap and was regretfully noticable deceased at the area. Motorcyclists had a slightly smaller chance of dying in a crash but they were most likely to get injured. Guys have even more web traffic citations than women-- concerning 5% even more-- meaning guys are a lot more most likely to break the really legislations meant to make the road a much safer area for all. Although many see these statistics as supporting speculation that men are worse motorists than females, it might not be that easy. Please use the switch listed below to see just how else we can help. 11. Exactly how does seatbelt use impact mishap fatalities? Utilize this auto mishap regulations in Illinois manual to comprehend your lawful civil liberties as well as reinforce your claim. If you remained in a mishap including three or more vehicles, this can complicate the insurance policy claim settlement and settlement procedure and bring about several suits. Remember that the insurance provider have teams of legal representatives and insurers that start evaluating your injury insurance claim as soon as possible. If it does not seem appropriate (or reasonable), let them know you would certainly such as to take a day and also study things a bit.

youtube

#crashed #car #compilation #accident #fatal #horrible #driver

0 notes

ffeathery · 5 years ago

Text

Speed Control Vital In Preventing Cars And Truck Accidents

As well as this is what frequently brings about accidents. The effect is also a lot more severe if it causes a mishap. While the economic price of cars and truck crashes is astonishing, it's nothing compared to the psychological effect it can carry the individuals that are straight affected by a collision. It's approximated that in regards to economic loss as well as social damage, auto accident set you back the U.S. 23. Just how much do alcohol-related accidents cost? 4. The amount of crashes involve property damages just? Mostly, crashes involving damage to property are a lot more common than those that cause deaths or injuries. 14. What state reports one of the most car crash deaths? Thinking you have not obtained to purchase the taxi after that a more benefit is that in Uganda, automobiles are chosen possessions to utilize as security for obtaining owing to the fluidity of the made use of automobile market. Seatbelt use can decrease the odds of a crash transforming lethal, but it's not a guarantee. The stats we found do have a silver lining, nevertheless, since the odds of being harmed or eliminated in a mishap seem to be advancing a down slide. They spoke for a while and she found him very eye-catching.

Research study suggests automobile accident takes place 12 times more typically while speaking than texting. When a vehicle driver slows down an automobile down too quickly, the driver in the vehicle behind most of the times does not have enough time to reduce or stop and also encounters the back of the automobile in the lead. In 2013, impaired drivers were virtually 4 times as likely to be involved in an accident at night versus the daytime. In 2013, 32,719 individuals lost their lives in a car accident, which is 3.1% less than the previous year. Of the casualties that occurred in 2013, 73% of people that used restrictions survived but the remaining 27% weren't so privileged. When driving under the impact of alcohol causes a casualty, it's the person behind the wheel who often tends to pay the rate. Based on one of the most current information readily available, it's estimated that somebody is eliminated in an automobile mishap (where alcohol figured in) every 52 mins. After assessing one of the most current cars and truck accident information, we checked out exactly how mishap, injury and fatality rates have altered gradually. Auto Accident Fatality Photos and Tale? 200,000 - Chicago Auto Accident. In 2013, 4,735 pedestrians were eliminated in a cars and truck crash and also an additional 66,000 were injured.

About 10,076 people were killed in alcohol-related crashes in 2013. These deaths accounted for 31% of all deadly auto crashes that were reported that year. While deaths and injuries are most usual among passengers as well as motorists, those outside the automobile are likewise at danger. Any kind of excellent automobile accident lawyer will inform you that the ideal means to stay clear of requiring his solutions is to do some study and also locate an automobile that will certainly keep its passengers secure. When you report to your insurance firms, tell them the whole truth! And no person - yet for the entire company! When you've shed a liked one in a fatal auto mishap, you have a right to expect payment from the at-fault chauffeur's insurance provider. When it's time to provide your medical documents to the insurance provider as proof, your accident attorney will certainly do so. The consequences of negligence when pedestrians exist can be dreadful, even dangerous. Driving while intoxicated can lead to some serious legal repercussions if you wind up getting pulled over. While most other halves will surely agree that guys are far more hostile chauffeurs it may not be so clear cut. Yes, some researchers believe the explanation for the majority of fatalities amongst guys is connected to the hormonal agents which develop hostile actions, yet other aspects make up the statistics.

While the variety of vehicle mishaps that occur each year is approaching, casualties are really on the decline. Males have actually been shown to do 65% even more driving on an annual basis than ladies do while women often tend to drive on much shorter journeys as well as have numerous more minor crashes than men. Warning tags on lots of tablet bottles warn of the threats of running machinery while under their impact. Nevertheless, what is genuinely sorrowful concerning these crashes is the truth that they have the same typical causes, which are high rates, driving intoxicated of alcohol or various other materials and also exhaustion driving. One of these actions is to decrease the allowed blood alcohol focus (BAC) from 100 mg/dl to 80 mg/dl. 25 In 2016, 15 percent of vehicle drivers ages 15-20 that were associated with fatal collisions had a blood alcohol focus of 0.08 or greater. Thirty percent of fatal crashes where alcohol was an element happened on the weekend, and also 40% of those were reported in between the hours of 6 pm as well as 5:59 am. In 2014, alcohol was a consider 6,815 mishaps and also rate was a consider 14,495 mishaps. 15. How commonly is alcohol a factor in web traffic deaths?

Speed was supposedly a consider 9,613 of the deadly collisions that happened in 2013. That's 29% of all deadly mishaps. 7. Just how frequently is speed a variable in fatal accidents? Making use of data from the National Freeway Traffic Safety And Security Administration and the Insurance Coverage Institute for Freeway Security, we had the ability to round up the 23 most shocking as well as enlightening stats on car accidents in the UNITED STATE 3. How several individuals are wounded in motor automobile mishaps? Another 2,313,000 people experienced some kind of injury about a cars and truck accident in 2013. Compared to 2012, that's a decrease of 2.1%, or about 49,000 individuals. Thirty-five percent of all deadly crashes involving rate reported in 2013 occurred along minor roadways. An overall of 1,149 kids aged 14 or younger passed away as an outcome of a traffic crash in 2013. Roughly 200 of those deaths, or 17%, involved a vehicle driver who suffered at the time the crash took place. If the other motorist or vehicle drivers leave the scene without offering information. February was the safest month for vehicle drivers in 2013, with just 6% of all casualties reported. Texas reported the biggest share of fatal cars and truck mishaps entailing a damaged driver in 2013, with 1,337 fatalities.

It might indicate that a fine such as a fine or reduction of factors has actually been or will certainly be examined against the chauffeur. Based on the post, the driver endured deadly trauma in the mishap and was unfortunately obvious deceased at the area. Motorcyclists had a somewhat smaller sized chance of dying in a crash however they were a lot more likely to obtain hurt. Males have even more web traffic citations than females-- about 5% more-- meaning men are more probable to break the extremely laws indicated to make the roadway a safer place for all. Although numerous see these statistics as supporting speculation that men are worse chauffeurs than women, it might not be that straightforward. Please use the button listed below to see how else we can assist. 11. How does seat belt usage affect crash deaths? Utilize this auto accident regulations in Illinois manual to recognize your lawful rights and strengthen your insurance claim. If you were in an accident including three or even more vehicles, this can make complex the insurance claim settlement and settlement procedure and also result in several legal actions. Bear in mind that the insurer have teams of lawyers as well as insurers that start evaluating your injury insurance claim right away. If it does not appear right (or fair), allow them know you would love to take a day and also study points a bit.

youtube

#crashed #car #compilation #accident #fatal #horrible #driver

0 notes

nystacular · 5 years ago

Text

Speed Control Vital In Avoiding Automobile Mishaps

As well as this is what frequently brings about accidents. The effect is a lot more extreme if it results in a mishap. While the financial price of auto mishaps is shocking, it's absolutely nothing contrasted to the emotional influence it can carry the individuals who are directly affected by a crash. It's estimated that in terms of financial loss and societal harm, auto accidents cost the U.S. 23. Just how a lot do alcohol-related accidents set you back? 4. Just how several collisions involve property damages just? By and big, mishaps including damages to residential property are more typical than those that cause fatalities or injuries. 14. What state reports the a lot of auto crash fatalities? Thinking you have not obtained to buy the taxi then a further advantage is that in Uganda, vehicles are preferred assets to make use of as security for obtaining owing to the fluidity of the used cars and truck market. Seatbelt use can decrease the odds of a mishap transforming fatal, but it's not a guarantee. The statistics we found do have a positive side, nonetheless, since the chances of being injured or eliminated in a mishap seem to be advancing a downward slide. They chatted for some time and also she found him extremely attractive.

Research study recommends vehicle accident takes place 12 times more frequently while talking than texting. When a motorist slows down an automobile down as well swiftly, the chauffeur in the cars and truck behind many times does not have enough time to decrease or stop and also encounters the back of the car in the lead. In 2013, impaired chauffeurs were virtually four times as likely to be entailed in a mishap in the evening versus the daytime. In 2013, 32,719 people lost their lives in an auto accident, which is 3.1% less than the previous year. Of the casualties that took place in 2013, 73% of people that utilized restraints endured yet the continuing to be 27% weren't so privileged. When driving intoxicated of alcohol leads to a casualty, it's the person behind the wheel who has a tendency to pay the price. Based on the most current data available, it's approximated that a person is eliminated in a car accident (where alcohol played a part) every 52 minutes. After analyzing one of the most current auto accident data, we took a look at just how accident, injury as well as fatality rates have altered with time. Auto Accident Death Photos as well as Tale? 200,000 - Chicago Car Crash. In 2013, 4,735 pedestrians were killed in a car accident and an additional 66,000 were injured.

Around 10,076 people were eliminated in alcohol-related mishaps in 2013. These fatalities accounted for 31% of all deadly auto mishaps that were reported that year. While deaths and also injuries are most usual amongst travelers and also drivers, those outside the vehicle are additionally in danger. Any type of excellent car mishap lawyer will certainly inform you that the very best way to prevent requiring his services is to do some research and locate an automobile that will certainly maintain its guests safe. When you report to your insurance firms, inform them the whole truth! And nobody - yet for the entire company! When you've lost a loved one in a deadly cars and truck accident, you have a right to expect compensation from the at-fault motorist's insurer. When it's time to provide your clinical records to the insurance coverage firm as evidence, your personal injury legal representative will do so. The effects of inattention when pedestrians exist can be dreadful, also dangerous. Driving while intoxicated can lead to some major legal repercussions if you wind up getting pulled over. While the majority of other halves will surely agree that guys are far more hostile vehicle drivers it may not be so apparent. Yes, some scientists think the description for the higher number of fatalities amongst males is associated with the hormones which create hostile behavior, but other variables make up the statistics.

While the number of car accidents that occur yearly is creeping up, casualties are really on the decline. Males have been shown to do 65% more driving on an annual basis than ladies do while women tend to drive on much shorter journeys and also have much more small crashes than men. Warning tags on many tablet containers warn of the dangers of running equipment while under their impact. However, what is genuinely sorrowful relating to these crashes is the truth that they have the very same common reasons, which are broadband, driving drunk of alcohol or other materials as well as exhaustion driving. Among these steps is to reduce the allowed blood alcohol concentration (BAC) from 100 mg/dl to 80 mg/dl. 25 In 2016, 15 percent of chauffeurs ages 15-20 that were included in deadly accidents had a blood alcohol focus of 0.08 or greater. Thirty percent of casualties where alcohol was an element happened on the weekend break, and also 40% of those were reported in between the hrs of 6 pm and 5:59 am. In 2014, alcohol was a factor in 6,815 accidents and speed was a consider 14,495 accidents. 15. How typically is alcohol a consider web traffic fatalities?

Speed was supposedly a consider 9,613 of the fatal collisions that took place in 2013. That's 29% of all casualties. 7. How commonly is speed an aspect in casualties? Utilizing data from the National Freeway Web Traffic Security Administration as well as the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety And Security, we had the ability to round up the 23 most unusual and also enlightening stats on motor vehicle accidents in the U.S. 3. Just how many people are hurt in electric motor automobile accidents? Another 2,313,000 people suffered some kind of injury in link with an automobile accident in 2013. Contrasted to 2012, that's a decline of 2.1%, or about 49,000 people. Thirty-five percent of all lethal crashes including speed reported in 2013 took place along small roadways. A total of 1,149 children aged 14 or more youthful passed away as an outcome of a website traffic mishap in 2013. Roughly 200 of those deaths, or 17%, included a driver who was damaged at the time the accident took place. If the various other motorist or drivers leave the scene without offering details. February was the most safe month for chauffeurs in 2013, with simply 6% of all fatal crashes reported. Texas reported the largest share of fatal car mishaps involving a damaged motorist in 2013, with 1,337 fatalities.

It may indicate that a fine such as a penalty or deduction of factors has actually been or will certainly be assessed against the vehicle driver. As per the short article, the motorist suffered fatal injury in the accident as well as was regretfully obvious deceased at the place. Motorcyclists had a somewhat smaller sized possibility of dying in a mishap yet they were extra likely to get hurt. Men have more website traffic citations than ladies-- regarding 5% even more-- significance males are more probable to damage the extremely laws meant to make the roadway a more secure location for all. Although lots of see these stats as supporting supposition that males are even worse vehicle drivers than ladies, it might not be that easy. Please make use of the button listed below to see exactly how else we can aid. 11. Exactly how does seatbelt use impact accident fatalities? Use this automobile mishap regulations in Illinois handbook to comprehend your lawful civil liberties as well as enhance your claim. If you were in an accident including three or even more lorries, this can make complex the insurance case settlement as well as settlement process and also cause multiple claims. Remember that the insurer have teams of attorneys and also adjusters that start assessing your injury case right away. If it does not appear appropriate (or reasonable), let them know you want to take a day and also study things a bit.

youtube

#crashed #car #compilation #accident #fatal #horrible #driver

0 notes

marisa-writes · 7 years ago

Text

Now, this is a story all about how...

...I fell into the trap of One Direction. (Sorry, been watching some Fresh Prince this morning).

My very sweet friend Eliza @roselirry tagged me and a few others to share what brought us to the 1D fandom and why we’ve stuck around. Her story was lovely and sweet while mine is...not, but I’ll share it, anyway. This is incredibly gross and long so I’ll put it under a ‘read more,’ and you can click if you desire to read, or otherwise, scroll on by.

Let’s tag a few folks before we begin: @womanlalalalalalalala, @madminniefics, @wildestdreamsfics, @showingthroughtome, @booksncoffee, @ktrsss1fics, @prettyinlimegreenboots, @moonandmore.

I guess my story begins, truly, back when the boys were on the X-Factor. I had friends here in the US who would watch live streams every week to keep up with the boys’ journey, and videos would circulate around my dashboard, so that put them on my radar. I was relatively indifferent, until their first single came about and it was catchy. They were precious. I wasn’t looking to get invested in anyone new, having come out of the Jonas Brothers fandom (the fandom as a whole; I’ll love those idiots and the friends I made for life) while on the cusp of being sucked in by Big Time Rush, big time.

Still, when Up All Night leaked, I downloaded it. And when it was released in the US, I bought the Yearbook Edition. I really enjoyed it. It was just a fun pop album, and I ignored the rolls of several eyes because God forbid my twenty-something ass be into them, right? It is what is. People will always pass judgment.

The album that really solidified me as a fan of their music, however, was Take Me Home. I bought the Target edition that go-round and was obsessed. I played it non-stop for weeks. Up All Night was a great pop album, but Take Me Home somehow came in to kick its ass and take the top spot. I knew from that point on that I would be into their music for the long hall.

So, from that point on, I continued to be a fan of their music. I bought the albums, I bopped to the songs, I enjoyed singing along at the top of my lungs. But I didn’t wander past that. I was deep into hell with Big Time Rush, and I say “hell,” but it was honestly the most chill fandom I’ve ever been a part of and I loved every minute of it. Anyway. I really didn’t have any interest in going beyond that. Part of it, I think, was my desire to avoid fandom drama, and also, I just seemed to be very content sticking with the music. Aside from keeping up with the fanfiction a very dear friend of mine had started writing, I was steering clear of involvement.

And then there was Liam.

Liam is, without a doubt, the gateway drug. There was a point probably around late 2012/early 2013 where I looked at him one day and turned into the side eyes emoji. Still, I refused to give in. I admired his beauty from afar, still settled in being on the outskirts.

But early in the fall in 2015, I’d been listening to 1D’s discography in preparation for the new album and decided to make a playlist of all of my favorite upbeat songs. I titled it “1D Ultra Jams” and was very satisfied with the end result, playing it every once in a while when I needed a mood boost. And then there was a week - a horrible week, where it seemed like one unpleasant thing after another kept happening to me - and I put that playlist on repeat in the car, kept it on, as it seemed to be the only thing helping me to maintain my sanity. I was stressed and overwhelmed and somehow that playlist was the glue that kept me from falling to pieces.

By the end of that week, there was an event that was the final nail in the coffin and I was officially done. My roommate, well aware of the week from hell that I’d been having, opened up a bottle of wine and let me drink most of it. And in my wine-tipsy state, I ended up diving into the ‘Liam Payne’ tag on Tumblr.

If you read the little bio thing on my main blog, there’s a line about how one night, I drank a lot of wine and looked at a lot of pictures of Liam Payne and I went from casually 1D to 1D af. And like. That’s exactly what happened. Three or so glasses of wine in, I liked and reblogged so many goddamn pictures of Liam Payne that there was nothing to do but accept the fact that I was finally giving in. I ended up on YouTube watching 1D interviews, Liam’s X-Factor auditions, and this glorious seven-minute video of Liam’s live vocals that to this day still has me shook. It was then that I truly realized how much I’d always enjoyed Liam’s voice, and my days of being Liam trash began. After this, I no longer had chill. My casual days were gone. I backtracked and acquired all of their live concert DVDs, was fully invested in every second of promo for Made in the A.M., and I blasted that album like my life depended on it, just as I had with all the others before. I took refuge in the love that had my heart nearly bursting at the seams for them, and after that, I never really looked back.

As for fanfiction...I never really intended to find myself here at all. For a while, I felt like my time as a fanfiction writer had peaked with my stories and success on JBFA, and I went through a serious writing drought after I graduated from college. I started this writing blog as a safe space to share my writing without feeling the insane amount of pressure I put on myself to finish projects I’d begun to grow distant from in the year I’d taken off writing to focus on my final year of school. Still, I struggled. Writing was slow. In the first few years of this blog’s life, it saw a mixture of things - some Jonas fic, some original fiction, some poetry, some BTR (Kendall) fic. All the while, I was just trying to find my voice again, find my fire again, but it was very hard. I thought I’d lost myself. I felt very far, very distant from how I viewed myself as a writer, not understanding that being a human being, that’s what happens. You grow. You evolve. You experience feelings of disconnection as who you think you are begins to change, because we never truly stop growing.

I’d been reading 1D fanfiction a bit by the time 2015 had rolled around, but really a couple of projects in particular. My beautiful friend Cat had been writing on 1dff for a while and I’d created an account just to read and review her stories, quite certain that I’d never use it for anything more. I had no desire to write about 1D, wasn’t that invested in them, as I’ve previously stated. But Cat could make a story about wallpaper read like a masterpiece, and as usual, her writing made my heart soar and to be honest, I’ll follow her anywhere. That’s just the way it is. However, after the Great Disaster of 2015, as Liam sunk his claws into me, I began to toss around the idea of diving into fanfiction again. The thing about me is that I’m always terrified of portraying people in a way that feels less than realistic, which meant I needed to do some reading around and video watching if it was a thing I truly wanted to consider.

If I’m not mistaken, Brianne’s ‘Silhouette Dreams’ was the first fic aside from Cat’s that I read. It was lovely. Every word. I couldn't get enough. I began checking out more of her work, which fueled me to bounce around ideas in my own mind, and for the first time in ages, the inspiration to write was overwhelming. I was in the middle of a long-term subbing position as a Pre-K aide at the time, and earlier in the year, I’d bought myself a notebook in hopes that maybe if I carried it around, I’d start writing more often. I’d played around with one idea that got me interested, and I wrote a few scenes (the unfinished prologue of which I just found in my drafts last night), but everything was feeling very choppy and I wasn’t entirely sold on making it work. I was also banished to the couch at the time because the ceiling in my closet was leaking and all of my clothes were littered across my bed. There was a night where I was stretched across that couch and a thought struck me, about families - how sometimes we’re born into them, sometimes they find us, and sometimes we make them all on our own. I realized I had seen fics before where there was a single parent involved, but not as often did you see one that brought together two single parents, and the more I let the idea roll around in my mind, the more I desired to make it a reality. I started taking that notebook with me to work every day, and filled pages with words during any break in the day I could snag.

This is how ‘Regarding Our Ghosts...’ was born.

ROG is, sadly, a project that also never quite came to fruition (aside from the first two chapters I’ve shared), but I’d super grateful for it. Writing that story gave me the opportunity to talk about writing again with Cat - something I’d missed terribly. We’d always had such great conversations about writing and hadn't been able to in ages, since I hadn’t been writing much, but we were able to reconnect on that level again and her encouragement and genuine interest in what I was writing meant the world to me. Without her encouragement, and the encouragement that followed from a few others shortly after I'd decided that ROG was something I planned to share (Brianne and Hannah both come to mind), I’m not sure I’d even be here right now. I’m not sure I’d think anything I wrote was worth reading. I’d been so sure I’d never write a single word I liked ever again...and then suddenly, I did. And then I had an idea for a New Year’s Eve one-shot sock me between the eyes - something about Liam and his wife - just at the stroke of midnight on January 1st of 2016, and the rest, as they say, is history. Now, I’ve grown past just writing Liam and have explored Niall, too, I’ve embraced writing about women of color on a regular basis, and I’ve tried my hand at AUs, something I never thought I’d do. It’s been very good.

It’s funny how you fall into things without planning. That’s truly what happened for me. I allowed myself to be immersed in the music and then eventually everything the boys were as a whole, and here we are. There have been instances where I’ve seen petty drama and the horrible mistreatment of others in the name of loving these boys or boosting up one’s own writing and it’s made me want to pull away sometimes. The ugliness that comes with being in fandom sometimes has never been my favorite. But I suppose what’s kept me around is what always keeps me around - friendship. The kindness I’ve been shown by others. The building of relationships.

My time at JBFA is long past, but I still talk to several of the friends I made while I was active there. We still text, and tweet, and message, and laugh at old inside jokes like it’s yesteryear (I was actually tagged in something on Facebook this week and laughed so much). We’re all so far removed from that fandom, from the fics we read and wrote there, in our big girl jobs and masquerading as adults. Some of them aren’t even around here anymore, having long since moved on, and that’s cool. But we stay connected. There’s a bond there that stands the test of time, and to me, having experienced that in the past, it’s so very cool, and having an opportunity to do that again with people here, in a new fandom, with similar hearts and ideas and passions for writing...it feels like a blessing. I’ve got a hell of a lot of faith in things working out the way they’re meant to, so I don’t question how I got here much.

I love One Direction. I love them as a unit. FOUR will remain on my list of favorite albums until the end of time. I am alive and well, watching all of them seek and experience success at their own pace, on their own terms. It’s beautiful to watch. They put a smile on my face, all the while continuously inspiring me to write while bringing some pretty incredible people into my life - readers and writers alike - and I think that as long as that continues to ring true, you’ll find me here. I’m so grateful for what my time spent as a fan of them has given me. And in my time as a fanfiction writer in this fandom, I have come across some of the most wonderfully well-written pieces of fiction I’ve ever read in my life. It’s honestly awe-inspiring, to see so many people doing so many great things with their words. My favorite thing about writing fanfiction and sharing it online is its ability to help you forge connections with others, and I’ve been able to do that here, with the help of One Direction, and for that, I’ll be eternally grateful to them.

#if there are any errors in here my bad #I read over it but I'm sure I missed something #anyway here's my story #True Life: My 'Becoming a 1D Stan' Story is Trash #if you read all the way to the end you're a fucking trooper #can we tag this as:#love letters from Marisa #?#because it is...in its own disastrous way #One Direction

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